#here's to making better choices and getting out more jen

[hebbifer]

short comic ab my recent weight gain. shit is so hard to lose.

#my art #i was around 150 freshman yr of college n since then ive gained around 40 pounds in 4 years #i never thought i'd let it get this bad too?? #like idk i see myself in the mirror and still see Me but in pictures and stuff its definitely noticeable #i hate what i've done to myself but its still my body.. i still have to love it no matter what #so much dysnorphia goin on w me tho like its no joke #dysmorphia** #here's to making better choices and getting out more jen #*sigh*

[pitchsidestories]

Alex Scott's daughter (2) II Leah Williamson x Reader

"The feeling that I'm losing her forever And without really entering her world I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter That funny little girl Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute." ~ ABBA, Slipping Through My Fingers

part 1 I arsenal women masterlist I word count: 1899

Thanks for your lovely feedback on part 1. We hope you enjoy part two aswell and what a better day to upload the oneshot when on Alex Scott birthday. ❤️

Alex Scott was buzzing with excitement. Even though she was the one who would stay at home tonight. She leaned at the bathroom door and watched you get ready in the mirror. Once again, she announced; “This is so exciting.“ “Mum, calm down. I’m just Leahs plus one at an event.“, you rolled your eyes with a slight smile because to be honest, it was kind of adorable. “Still!“, she replied. With a sigh, you gave up brushing your hair and turned to your mum; “Will you help me get ready?“ She seemed genuinely surprised but also very flattered by your request; “Do you want me to?“ “Yes, please. You always look so beautiful.“, you replied, handing her the brush. “

Aw, thank you, dear. Let me start with your hair.“, she smiled brightly and moved you to the edge of the bath tub, so you could sit while she did your hair. “Thanks.“ “Sit still.“, she reminded you with feigned sternness. “Fine.“, you gave in and let your mum brush your hair in peace. After a while of enjoyable silence, Alex gazed at the clock; “So, when is Leah going to pick you up?“ “In an hour. Thats enough time, right?“, you answered, trying to keep the nervousness out of your voice. Pensively, she tilted her head to the side; “Maybe. Do you have your outfit planned?“ “I thought about wearing a dress.“, you stated. From the reflection in the mirror you could see your mums eyes start to sparkle; “Which colour?“ “Black.“ She nodded once, satisfied with your choice; “Alright, that’s good. That leaves us some options for the make up.“ “Leah will wear a beige suit if that helps.“, you added, laughing as your mum grimaced. “It doesn’t. I want to make you look good, not her.“

Your laughter got quieted by Alex, pulling your hair into a tight bun on top of your head; “Ouch.“ “Stop whining.“ “That hurts more than crashing into Jen in training!“, you complained with a grin. The former football player kept pulling on your hair; “Oh please.“ “True story.“ “It’s not true.“, she replied as she took your chin and pulled out two strands to frame your face. Satisfied she examined her work, while you crossed your arms in front of your chest; “It’s!“ “Beauty is pain.“, your mum stated amused and started to apply your make up. “But you always make it look so easy.“

When it was finally time for you to put your black dress on you felt the look of the older woman looking moved by the way you looked tonight. Still, you could not help yourself, bit your lip and asked innocently:” What do you think? How do I look?” “You look gorgeous.”, Alex kissed your cheek carefully, so she did not ruin the makeup underneath. Gratefully you pressed her hand, and you hoped the brunette would feel what you tried to express: “Thanks for your help.” “I’m a little bit sad.”, the former football player confessed smiling. Indeed, you caught her swiping away a tear. Noticing this, you felt your throat tightening: “Oh no, why?” “That you’re going somewhere with Leah but not with me.”, Alex told you. Empathetically you stroked her arm: “Oh mum.” “I think Leah’s here.”, your mum changed the subject, on her lips a brave smile.

Excited Leah turned to one of her oldest friends: “Hi, is she ready?” “Yes. Come on, dear, your date’s here.”, the older woman turned to you. From the bathroom you shouted: “Coming!” In a minute you were standing in front of them: “Lee, you look gorgeous.”  The blonde defender was looking stunned at you:” What? Oh, thanks, so do you.” The arsenal player was used to getting compliments, but your look made her breathless.  “Stop drooling for my daughter, Leah!”, Alex mocked her. Even that did not stop Leah from pointing out:“ Look how beautiful she looks.” “Yes, I helped her, can’t believe that’s my baby!”, the former player squeaked.

Embarrassed you searched for your girlfriend’s hand: “Mum! Leah, it’s time to go.” “Yes, come on, we can’t be late.”, she agreed much to your relief. Happily you waved at the tv sports presenter:“Bye Mum.” “I’ll have her home by midnight. Promise.”, Leah said to her friend. Jokingly Alex replied:” I hope so.” “Bye Alex.”

Before you two were out of the door your mum yelled: “By the way she can stay past midnight too that would make me personally very proud.” As you got into the car, your cheeks were red: “Typical Mum.” “I wasn’t planning on getting you home before midnight anyway.”, the blonde confessed smirking. A cheeky grin appeared on your lips:“You did not hmm?” “No, I lied.”, the defender chuckled. Winking you told her:“Yeah but you were very convincing in the role as the respectable boyfriend.”“Yeah, I’m good at that.“, Leah laughed, hinting at the time a magazine mistook her for Alex’ boyfriend. “You are.“, you agreed, grinning.

As you realized that the cars in front of you had started to slow done, you nervously checked the time on your phone: “Do you think we should park somewhere here and walk the rest? We might be faster that way.“ “Why not stay in here? I think we’ll find something to do in the meantime.“, Leah smirked, sliding one hand on your bare knee. Laughing, you pushed her off of you; “Babe, we Lionesses have to present an award. We cannot not come.“ “Not our fault that we’re stuck in traffic.“, she replied, blinking innocently at you. “You can do anything you want later.“, you promised her with a wink. You leaned over to your girlfriend and kissed her passionately as you finally reached your destination. You both got out of the car.

Grabbing Leahs hand, you started to jog to the event. “We’ll just get you another run in on your road to recovery.“, you laughed. A little out of breath, you arrived right on time. Before stepping on the red carpet together, your girlfriend stopped you; “Wait!“ “Alright?“, you turned to her in surprise. The defender silently wiped a bit of your lipstick away that had smudged during the kiss. She gave you a short nod; “Ready?“ “Ready.“, you answered. “Let’s go then.“, Leah took your hand but you did not move. “Lee?“ “Yes?“ “Are you sure you want to be seen with me?“

The blonde football player immediately turned around, searching for your eyes; “I asked you to come with me, so yes. I am sure.“ You took a deep breath, sighing as you breathed out; “Okay.“ “Are you ready?“, she asked, furrowing her brows in worry. “I am.“, you confirmed, feeling your confidence slowly coming back. Leah smiled softly at you; “Let’s go then.“ Holding hands, you walked down the red carpet. Leah continued to tightly squeeze your hand for reassurance.

A journalist suddenly caught your attention, yelling the score of the Arsenal men game to your girlfriend; “Leah, Arsenal won!“ “Are you joking? Arsenal?“, she repeated excitedly. Turning to you, she asked; “Did you hear that?!“ “I did!“, you grinned, happier about Leahs enthusiasm then about the actual score.“That’s amazing.”, the defender couldn’t stop raving about it. “Oh yes.” “So proud of the boys.”, Leah hummed. Solemnly you promised her:“ Same. On the weekend we’ll win against villa too.” “Of course.”, the blonde grinned. “Promised.” Proudly Leah beamed at you: “I know you’ll.” To seal that promise you kissed her before saying:” Let’s go inside, shall we?” “Yes. We’re already late.”

It seems to be a reoccurring theme in the Scott family to run late. The matchday on Sunday was finally here and Leah and Alex were on their way to watch the game in the stands. “Shit, Lee, we need to hurry up. My girl is in the starting line!”, the former player swore loudly. Amused by one of her best friends the blonde replied:” And you’d be okay with being late if she wasn’t?” “No, but it might help us to get faster through the crowd.”, the brunette winked at her. Sceptical the England skipper replied: “Sure Alex.”

Despite her scepticism the words of the sports presenter helped them to get through the crowd faster. Satisfied Alex turned her head to the still playing Arsenal defender: “See? It works!” “Just sit down and watch the game.”, Leah answered with an eye roll. “Oh come on, can’t you admit that it helped us to get to our seats faster?” “Shh, they’re playing North London forever.”, the blonde whispered before starting to sing the song along with thousands of fans which made the usually calm and collected person she was turn into an emotional mess. Laughing the older woman apologized:“Sorry, nerd.” “As if you were any better.”, the younger defender commented giggling. Football was the way the friends had originally met and it still was one of the things they loved to share the most together. “I didn’t say I’m not one. The game is on.”

“I’m so nervous!”, Leah confessed, already biting her lip from the anticipation and excitement she felt. “Did you see that?”, the brunette cheered. Happily the blonde shouted:“Yes, girls!” As the Arsenal players on and off the pitch were celebrating their goal against villa in a full emirate’s stadium. A bright smile appeared on Alex’s lips: “That was amazing.” “Right?”, the England skipper asked, still feeling the rush of excitement as if she was on the pitch with her teammates who meant so much to her. In the second half it got even better for Arsenal as you scored an absolute banger of a goal much to the joy of the two women who were so dear to you. “Oh my god, she scored, Lee.”, the tv presenter told your girlfriend visibly thrilled.

“And what a goal!“, Leah gushed, barely able to stay in her seat. “It was stunning.“ Pointing down to you, your girlfriend laughed; “She can’t even believe it.“ Alex watched your surprised expression turn into a bright smile as you caught your team mates in a group hug; “To be fair, it doesn’t happen often to a defender as we know.“ “But if we score, we do it right.“, Leah added. Alex nodded along; “True though.“ When the game ended, Leah pushed out of her seat; “We have to celebrate with her.“ Alex followed suit; “Definitely.“

The two caught you as you left the pitch. “Mum, Lee, did you see that?“, you asked still in disbelief, your cheeks almost hurting from smiling. Alex pulled you into a tight hug, blowing a kiss on your temple; “You were so good tonight.“ “Your goal was amazing!“, Leah agreed, once your mum let go of you. Casually, she slipped a hand beneath your jawline and pulled you in for a kiss. You could have stayed in the moment forever, but the kiss was interrupted by Alex grimacing; “Ew!“ Leah rolled her eyes and you only gave a half-apologetic smile; “Sorry, mum.“ “No, it’s okay. I’m just joking.“, she replied, waving her hand for you two to go on. Instead, your girlfriend put her arm around you and looked at Alex; “Come on, girls. It’s time to celebrate.“ Happily, you let her pull you with her.

This night was about to be perfect. Not only did you score the game-winning goal but you also had your two favourite people with you.

#leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #woso x reader #woso #woso imagine #woso fanfics #engwnt #lionesses #arsenal wfc #woso one shot #alex scott #alex scott x reader #awfc #woso community

[tonyspank]

CHAPTER FIVE | GET ME

Jenna Ortega x G!P Reader

Warnings: 18+ smut, cheating, and yaaaa Words: 2.7k A/N: couldn't make it as long bc its almost 12 am for me lolll... i will be going to bed

series masterlist | main masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

"Are you being deadass?" Eli asks, sitting up from his bed. You nod your head, pressing the buttons on the gaming controller in front of you. "Yea..." Eli groans, shaking his head. "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"

You shrug, not sure how to answer. Eli sighs and lies back down, covering his eyes with a pillow. "You're so damn lucky that I love you," he says, his voice muffled by the pillow. "She kissed me back! And then she wore her ring again like it never happened." You say, pausing the game and turning around to face Eli.

Eli remains silent. You take a deep breath and wait until he sits up. He looks at you sighing. "They have depth, you guys do not. Plus, you haven't been showing her wifey material these last few days." You take another deep breath and try to explain yourself, but Eli just shakes his head and says, "You need to step it up if you want her to take you seriously."

He begins laughing, "Like that one meme. I'm not the stepfather, I'm the father who stepped up." He smiles, amused by his own joke. You can't help but smile too, despite the seriousness of the conversation. Looking at him, you take a deep breath and nod, determined to do better.

It was Tuesday after school, and again you were avoiding Jenna. She basically rejected you, but that wasn't going to stop you. You were adamant to make things right and treat her better than that asshole Jacob.

It felt like every day you fucked up and had to apologize to Jenna and every time she'd accept it and move on. You wanted to show her that she deserved better. You wanted to make it up to her, to make her feel special. You wanted to show her that you were the right one for her.

"I shouldn't force her into anything. I should be there whenever she needs me, right?" You ask Eli, but after a few moments, all you hear are snores filling the room. You sigh, shaking your head. You know deep down that if you really want to be there for her, you have to respect her decisions.

Letting her make her own choices is the best way to show that you care. You make a mental note to take a step back and give her the space she needs. It's not easy, but you know it's the right thing to do.

"Wait, wait, wait... so you're telling me Jacob was the one calling you?" Emma asks, and Jenna nods slowly in response. Emma looks at the girl in front of her, confused but resuming her assumption. "And he says some bullshit apology that you accept--" Jenna cuts her off, "It wasn't bullshit."

Emma stares at her, unimpressed. "It was complete bullshit," she scoffs. Jenna looks away, swallowing the lump in her throat. Jenna looks away, tears forming in her eyes. She knew what Emma was saying was possibly true, but she still wanted to believe it was sincere. "Don't cry, Jen..."

Emma reaches out and gently wipes away Jenna's tears. "I'm sorry," she whispers. Jenna looks up and nods, a small smile forming on her lips. "Then Y/N confessed to you? I'm still shocked about that."

Jenna takes a deep breath and nods. "Yeah, it was a surprise. She said she remembered our kiss and wanted something more out of it." Emma takes Jenna's hand in hers and squeezes it. "I'm here for you, always." Jenna looks into Emma's eyes and nods, her smile growing wider. She leans in and hugs Emma.

Emma holds Jenna close and whispers, "It's okay, I'm here for you." Jenna nods, feeling relieved and comforted. She pulls away and smiles, grateful for her friend's support. "Thank you, Em."

Emma smiles and wipes away Jenna's tears. "Anytime," she says. They embrace again, and Jenna can feel the warmth and love radiating from Emma.

It's now nighttime. You're back in your room and Jenna's in hers. You didn't talk to her because she hasn't given you the opportunity to. You lay in your bed, texting Eli.

eli - what if she jus farted in ur mouth

you - bro wht

eli - deadass like

eli - ur eating the ass and she jus farts in ur mouth

you - why are we even talking about ass eating?

eli - can u not kink shame me here?

you - im abt to block u

eli - ur so fukcing mean rbo

Jenna exits her room, entering her bathroom. She turns the lights on, raising her phone to take a photo of herself. She was wearing a white silky lingerie nightwear dress. She smiled as she looked at the photo, satisfied with how she looked. She then sent the photo to Jacob, biting her thumb as she waited for his response.

A few moments later, Jacob replied with a string of heart emojis. Jenna smiled, relieved that he was pleased with her look. Her heart began racing as she pressed on to your messages. She started thinking about all the possibilities of what could happen if she sent them to you instead. She took a deep breath and clicked on the photo, her fingers trembling with anticipation. She hit the send button and waited, her heart pounding. She closed her eyes, hoping for the best.

You rise from your bed, exiting your conversation with Eli. You saw the message and opened it. Your eyes widened as the image appeared on your screen.

jen <3 -

She was so fucking gorgeous. Did she mean to send you this? You felt your heart racing as your eyes slowly took in every detail of her. You wanted her, wanted her more than anything. You quickly composed a response, eager to find out if she meant to send it to you.

you - jenna?

you - was this an accident?

Jenna stares at your response, her cheeks turning pink. She takes a deep breath before responding.

jen <3 - no, it wasn't an accident. i wanted you to see it.

She watches as three grey dots appear on the screen, bouncing around every now and then. Her heart pounds in anticipation of what you're about to reply, then it stops as the dots disappear. She stares at the screen in disbelief, feeling a mix of confusion and disappointment. She takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, shaking her head in frustration.

Until she hears your bedroom door open, she quickly leaves the bathroom, meeting you in the middle of the hallway. She looks up at you with a mix of emotions on her face, not knowing what to say or do.

You take a step forward and bring her into a heated kiss. As she begins to relax into it, she wraps her hands around your neck pulling you closer if that was even possible.

You tap on her thigh and she jumps up, wrapping her legs around your waist. You carry her to your bedroom and lay her gently on the bed. You cover her body with yours as you continue to kiss passionately. She moans, her hands exploring your body as you deepen the kiss.

You break apart, your eyes locked on each other, and the heat of the moment intensifies. "You're so beautiful, Jenna." You move your lips to her neck, gently kissing and nibbling as she sighs in pleasure. You feel her body trembling beneath you and you can't help but smile. You pull away and kiss her forehead tenderly, and she gazes up at you with a look of pure bliss.

You lean in and whisper in her ear, "Do you want to continue?" Jenna looks up at you with a small smile and nods. You press your lips against hers and kiss her deeply, your hands exploring her body as you do.

She wraps her arms around your neck as your tongues dance together. You can feel the heat radiating from her body as your passion builds. You break away, both of you breathless.

Her hands reach under your shirt, touching and gripping every part of your torso. She whispers your name, her voice filled with desire. You draw her close and kiss her again. Your longing for her grows with every touch. She takes off your shirt and you do the same for her. She pulls you close and your skin touches, feeling the mellowness radiating from each other.

Her hand leaves your core, and she reaches for your shorts, pulling them slightly. You slide out of your shorts and began kissing down her body, she gasps in pleasure, and you feel the same. "Y/N," she gasps out, tangling a hand in your hair.

You smile against her skin and continue exploring her body. You feel her trembling beneath you as you move lower, and you can feel her anticipation. You finally reach her inner thighs, and you know she's ready for you. Because she's so damn wet. You slide two fingers into her and she gasps, her back arching up off the bed. You watch her reaction, a smile on your face.

You start to move your fingers in and out of her, and her breathing gets more ragged. You feel her muscles tense around your fingers. "So...so good." You lean back down and tease her with your tongue and fingers, driving her wild with pleasure.

Her body trembles and she grabs onto your shoulders to steady herself. You began attacking her clit, flicking it with your tongue as you thrust your fingers deeper and faster. "Y/N! Fuck!" She shudders, her orgasm reaching its peak. "I'm gonna..."

"CUM!!" she cries out in pleasure. You slow down and kiss her softly as she comes down from the high. She wraps her arms around you, her body still shaking from the pleasure. She looks into your eyes, a satisfied smile on her lips. She takes a deep breath and pulls you in for a passionate kiss.

The two fingers that we're just inside of her raise to your lips, and just as you're about to suck them off she stops you, her eyes burning with desire. She does it herself instead, staring at you through her brown hooded eyes, her full lips pressed together tightly, the tip of her tongue darting out to taste the sweet nectar on her fingers. She licks them clean, then leans in and whispers in your ear, her breath hot against your skin. "Lay back, let me return the favor."

Were you dreaming? Again?

You do as instructed. She begins to kiss your neck and nibble gently on your ear. Her hands explore your body, caressing your abs. "I love how fit you are. It turns me on so much." You can feel yourself getting aroused. You can feel her breath on your skin and it sends a shiver down your spine. You turn to her and kiss her and she pulls away too early for your sake.

She lies on your legs, her eyes burning with passion as her hands rest on your sides. You feel your heart skip a beat as you gaze into each other's eyes. Never breaking the gaze she grabs your cock, and starts stroking it with her delicate touch.

You feel a wave of pleasure run through your body as she moves her hands with gentle skill. You can barely hold back your moans as you give in to the intense pleasure.

"Keep your hands on the bed." She lowers her head and takes you in her mouth, her tongue curling around you as you feel her warm breath on your skin. "Oh my." You rasp out, clenching the bedsheets under you. Her tongue moves in circles, exploring every inch of you as her soft lips massage you.

She pauses, her eyes fixed on yours as she licks her lips, her movements becoming more passionate. You can feel the tension inside of you building, as she hums and sucks, pushing you closer to the edge. With one final stroke, pleasure rushes through your body. "Fuckkkk."

She smiles, sitting on your stomach as you are left panting with satisfaction. She leans in and kisses you softly, her hands caressing your face. She sits back up, a hand skillfully reaching behind her, teasing you again with a trail of fingers. You exhale in pleasure as she continues to explore, and you're hard again.

She straddles you again, lowering herself onto your erection. A hand helps while the other rests on your core, scratching you slightly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. You're so big, baby." You grunt as she begins to move, her body pressing against yours as she rocks back and forth. She leans in and kisses you deeply, her tongue exploring your mouth.

When she leans back up, you grasp her hips, pushing them deeper with each thrust. You're truly in a daze, the pleasure too much to take in. You cry out, throwing your head back.

A quiet smack is heard throughout the room. "Keep your eyes on me." You quickly look up, locking your eyes with her. She smiles, her eyes twinkling with delight, but it fades away as her mouth opens widely, gasping your name out.

Your right hand leaves her waist, travelling up to her face. You cup her cheek lightly, caressing it with your thumb. She then turns her head, sucking on your thumb as her eyes never leave yours. You feel your heart racing, your skin tingling as she looks up at you. She was so fucking hot. She lets go of your thumb with a loud pop, grinning at your reaction.

You move your left hand to slap her ass, and she lets out a yelp of pleasure. You sit up, wrapping your arms around her waist, as she laughs and kisses you passionately. You fall back onto the bed, still holding her close as the kiss deepens.

She pulls away, her eyes full of desire as she whispers your name. "I'm about to cum." You grip her hips as she begins to quiver, her breathing becoming faster. You feel her tighten around you, waves of pleasure radiating through her body. She collapses on top of you, both of you panting with pleasure.

You lay her on her back, and she bites her bottom lip, looking up at you in excitement. You lean down and kiss her, your tongues intertwining as you move in rhythm. You enter her again, and you both let out a sigh of pleasure.

Your movements become more passionate, and her breathing quickens. A hand finds its way around your throat, pulling you back into a kiss.

Your pace intensifies, and her body trembles with pleasure. Her grip around your throat tightens as she reaches her climax, screaming out in ecstasy. "Y/NNNNN!!!" You follow behind, pulling out as your body shakes with orgasmic pleasure.

You collapse onto the bed, the two of you panting and sweaty. You smile and pull her close, your heart beating in unison. She lays her head on your chest, a hand pushing some hair off your forehead. You take a deep breath, content and satisfied.

What was the next step after all of this?

The next morning was just as normal as could be. You're sitting across from each other at the dining room table. You're a bit more smiley than usual and she notices.

"What are you smiling at?" You looked down, blushing. "Nothing," you said. She smiled knowingly and said, "It's okay, I know what you're thinking. I'm happy too."

Your eyes look at the ring on her finger and you clench your jaw, quickly taking a sip of coffee to hide your anger and confusion. She stands up, walks over to you and places herself on your lap. "It's okay," she says. "Let's just enjoy this moment." You look up at her and nod, giving her a small smile.

She wraps her arms around you and leans in for a kiss. You close your eyes and feel the warmth of her lips, instantly forgetting the pain in your heart. She pulls away and you open your eyes, finding yourself in a world of color and beauty.

"Do you wanna go shopping today?" You ask, your thumb rubbing against her waist. She smiles and nods, her eyes twinkling. "Sure," she mutters, staring at you before placing a kiss on your lips.

You just wanted to allow yourself to enjoy this and you knew she wanted to do the same.

taglist - @alexkolax @raven-ss @godsfavouritelesbiann @jennasslut @niqmandu @amburntfreeman @returnnofdamac @starry-night17 @get-the-fuck-outta-here @morganismspam23

#reader insert #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #wattpad #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna x reader #get me #jenna x g!p reader #jenna x y/n #jenna ortega x g!p reader #jenna ortega smut

[agathasangel]

in the middle (jen barkley x claire debella x fem!reader NSFW)

warnings: smut, angst, cheating, sexting/dirty picture sharing, mutual masturbation, semi-public sex acts, threesome, legal age gap (reader is 24-25, jen is late 30s and claire is around 40).

I literally thought of this whole plot last night and somehow wrote 2k words of it in one day. Yay brainrot. also this takes place pre-glass onion while claire is running for governor and fairly soon after jen was bobby newport’s campaign manager.

summary: jen is your girlfriend, and you are trying to repair your relationship after her struggle to stay loyal to you. but when jen’s away and her new candidate, claire debella, sees a photo of you and has to have you, they make a plan to share.

“I’ll be honest, (y/n), I’m not exactly a “committed relationship” kind of gal. But I really like you. I want to keep seeing you, just… don’t expect me to be the perfect girlfriend at first. I don’t know if that’s something I’m capable of.”

That was what Jen said to you at the end of your internship on the campaign she was working on at the time. While her political career required her to lie her ass off on a daily basis, she was brutally honest when it came to her personal life. That was something you appreciated about her.

But she was more right than either of you could have imagined. While you were living in the same city, things were fine. But her work often required her to leave, and Jen had a hard time resisting temptation. Your most recent fight happened after she got back from Indiana from a job and she admitted to you that she had cheated on you- yet again- this time with a man who worked for her opponent.

“But it meant nothing! I have no feelings for Chris, you’re the one I actually care about! He- he was just there.”

Of course, she managed to win you back, like she always did. Despite her flaws, you loved her, and you knew she loved you. She worked so hard, courting you, buying you flowers and gifts, helping you study for grad school, and just making you feel special.

But then, of course, she had to leave again.

“Babe, I got another job offer! Claire Debella is running for governor of Connecticut, and she’s being backed by some tech billionaire. I can’t refuse this, I’m gonna make a killing!”

“Does that mean you’ll have to go to Connecticut?”

“It does but- hey, I promise it won’t be like last time, alright? We’ll talk every day, you can visit-“

“Jen, I have school…”

“You can visit on weekends, or breaks. I can pay for your flights. We’ll make this work, okay?”

You agreed, although you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. You dropped her off at the airport a week later, and she made you another promise.

“Keep your phone on, babe. When I get to the hotel, I’ll send you something extra special.”

And she did. That night you got a photo message captioned “wish you were here ;)”. You opened the photo and it was her, sprawled on her hotel bed, completely naked. God, she was perfect.

You texted her back “I’ll miss that so much”, to which she immediately replied, “send me something back to enjoy tonight! I’m missing u already”

This was not something you and Jen had ever thought to do before, but you complied. You stripped and found a lingerie set Jen had bought you a while back to change into, and started taking photos for her. This became a nightly ritual between the two of you that you kept sacred. You sent her photos of yourself in the various lingerie pieces she kept ordering for you.

“you look even better in that than I thought you would, baby. Let me see from the back”

You sent her another photo of you from the back, bending over and sticking your ass out slightly.

“that’s it, baby. god i wish i was there so i could take you in that position.”

Sometimes Jen would send you audio clips of her moaning as she touched herself to your photos, and you would replay those at night as you imagined you were together, and that she was fucking you.

Jen thought that this would be enough to keep her from giving into her temptations, and truth be told, it was. At least for a while. But that didn’t mean the temptation wasn’t present. This time it was the woman she was working for, Claire Debella herself. It was rare that Jen actually liked one of her candidates, but Claire was smart, had some great ideas, and was gorgeous to boot. The two women would meet daily for coffee in the morning, or drinks at night, and were starting to become actual friends.

The two of them would always start by talking business, campaign strategy, the usual. But they started to venture into talking about their personal lives.

“You dated an intern? And it actually worked out?”

“It did. She was- is- pretty great, and it wasn’t what you’re probably thinking. (Y/n) was the only one there who wasn’t some dumb legacy kid. I had a lot of respect for her, we bonded, one thing led to another and we were sneaking off to the supply closet every day for the rest of the campaign.”

Claire laughed, “I gotta say, Jen, I kinda wish I had a story like that.”

I could give you a story… Jen thought. But she knew better. You were all she wanted, all she needed. She just had to keep reminding herself.

That night you sent her a video of you riding your favorite strap, which Jen of course left at home for your use. For the first time, you weren’t wearing lingerie, you weren’t wearing anything. Jen reveled in the sight of your bare breasts moving up and down. She imagined she was wearing the strap like she usually did, that you were bouncing up and down on her cock, moaning.

“Yes, baby, just like that. You look so pretty riding me baby, just a little more, yes…fuck, good girl… cum for me baby, good girl…”

The next day at work, Jen was conflicted. She couldn’t stop thinking about your video, but she also couldn’t stop thinking about Claire. She wanted you both so much it hurt. She never felt this way before. Jen was used to hooking up no-strings-attached, mostly with men. But you and Claire were different. She walked to her office distracted and in a daze, not having gotten much sleep last night thanks to that video you sent her. Jen felt herself bump into someone, and felt hot coffee spill on her shirt.

Shit. It was Claire. Of course it was Claire.

“I’m so sorry!”

“Are you okay, Jen?”

“Yeah, I just- I didn’t get much sleep last night, that’s all. “

“Okay. Don’t worry about it, I have an extra shirt in my office, I’ll let you borrow it.” Claire led Jen up to her office and took off her coffee-stained blazer that covered her otherwise clean dress. The dress hugged all her curves beautifully and showed off her strong, lean arms.

“Here you go.” Claire, for whatever reason, helped Jen take her shirt off, her gaze lingering for a bit before their eyes met. Jen felt vulnerable, exposed. And what’s more, she was enjoying it. She put the shirt on and quickly made a beeline to her own office, shut the door and turned the lights off. She then unbuttoned her dress pants and put your video on, trying to get the image of Claire’s eyes and body out of her head. And it worked.

That is, until she realized she forgot to lock the door. She heard a voice behind her.

“Jen? Jen?”

“Claire! Um, how much did you see?”

“Just a couple seconds. I was going to ask about my speech, but first, I have to ask, that girl you were watching. Is she your girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“God, you’re lucky.” Her eyes darkened as she reached over Jen’s shoulder and pressed play. “Wow, look at her go…”

“You’re not mad?”

“Please. This is nothing. Besides, I can enjoy it myself. If you’ll let me, of course.” Jen breathed a sigh of relief, excited at the possibility that was just presented to her.

“Pull up a chair. Wait until you see all the pretty photos she’s taken for me.” Claire did so, making sure to lock the door behind her so no one could disturb the two of them as they enjoyed you.

“Stunning,” Said Claire, slipping a hand under her dress. “Imagining the two of you together, it’s getting me fucking soaked. You touching her, your girl riding your pretty face-“

“We can make her our girl, Claire. She’ll be into it.”

“Oh, I bet she will be. Such a little slut for us.”

Jen told Claire the plan she came up with to introduce them. Your spring break was coming up, and Jen would buy you a plane ticket to come and visit. The day came, but not as quickly as either of them would like.

Jen picked you up from the airport, just as you had planned. She looked beautiful and put together as always, and you ran into her arms.

“I missed you! I missed you so much Jen!”

“Oh baby, you have no idea. Let’s get back to the hotel and get you all cleaned up, and then I made a dinner reservation. You, me, and Claire Debella.”

“Claire’s coming? I know you two have gotten close during the campaign and I hate to be the jealous girlfriend but should I be worried?”

“Oh, honey, no. She just wants to meet you, that’s all. I think the two of you will really hit it off.”

So you showed up at the restaurant, by Jen’s side, wearing the impossibly short black dress she picked out for you. Claire was already sitting down, and the host led you right to her.

“She’s even prettier in person, Jen. Hi, you must be the famous (y/n). Jen talks about you all the time. I’m Claire Debella, it’s so nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

The woman was definitely your type. Powerful, charming, older. And the three of you did hit it off. You talked about the campaign, your classes, and your worried about Claire and Jen were gone. Claire was incredibly friendly to you. A couple cocktails in and you started thinking about how pretty Claire was, about all the things you, her and Jen could do together…

So you cut yourself off. You couldn’t think about that, not when you’ve spent the past few months chastising your own girlfriend, terrified of her cheating on you. You nervously excused yourself to the bathroom, not noticing Jen motioning for Claire to follow you.

“I’ve been waiting to get you alone.” Said Claire as you left the bathroom stall.

“I’m sorry?”

Claire grabbed you and turned around, pinning you against the sink, slightly bent over so that your short little dress slid up.

“Look at you. I wish you could see yourself when you’re like this. Ever since Jen showed me you, I knew I had to have you.”

“Claire, what if someone comes in?”

“I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” She teased, pulling your skirt up further.

“What cute panties you have on. And what an even cuter little wet spot right there. Just from me bending you over like this, where just anyone can walk in and see.” She ran her fingers between your clothed folds, and you stopped yourself from moaning. It felt so good, but you couldn’t betray your girlfriend.

“Claire, this isn’t right. Jen is my girlfriend, I can’t do that to her-“

You were interrupted by a stall door opening behind you.

“It’s so sweet how loyal you are to me baby,” you heard Jen’s voice say from behind, “but right now I want you to let Claire fuck you. She’s wanted to from the moment I showed you to her. I told you this trip would be different, and it sure was. Don’t you wanna let us make you feel good?” At that moment, Claire slipped her hand into your panties, brushing your clit and you let out a moan.

“Good girl,” Claire praised as she teased your pussy some more, slipping a finger inside you as Jen watched eagerly. But Claire quickly pulled out when she heard footsteps coming towards the door. As much as the idea of getting caught turned her on, she was running for office and couldn’t risk it. You whined a bit at the loss but stood up and pulled your skirt down, locking eyes with your girlfriend, smiling at you proudly.

“Why don’t we get the check and get out of here?”

#jen barkley #jennifer barkley #Jennifer Barkley x reader #claire debella #claire debella x reader #jen barkley x reader #kathryn hahn #kathryn hahn x reader #kathryn hahn fan fiction #smut #wlw smut #my fics

[cowboyjen68]

howdy jen!

I’m a younger butch, 22, and i only recently came into this label in the past year or so. i cut my hair and started embracing myself and am so much better for it, but it’s also brought a lot of struggle. primarily, i have a really hard time feeling desirable. i don’t know if it’s something to do with where i am or just my age, but i feel like it’s so much harder to meet people who are into people who look like me. it’s hard to look visibly queer, and it’s hard to be masculine. a lot of the time i feel pride in my roll as a protector and safe person, but it becomes so exhausting when i never feel safe myself. when i never feel desirable. i wonder if this is a common thing amongst butches, and if so, how do i get past it?

You could be me talking when I was 23 and just coming out. My first thought, once I really realized that I was a bit different from many of my female friends, was “What lesbian is going to be attracted to me? Lesbians like other women and I kind of look like a boy”. I truly thought that my stature, the way I walked, whatever energy or movement got me consistently mistaken for a boy (or man) was the very reason why I would never find love or passion with whom I most desired, another woman. 

In college I toned it down, I kept my hair long with a sort of short in the front mullet. I wore generic jeans and a sweatshirt to try to be somewhat comfortable but also unremarkable in my clothing choices. Looking back it made no difference. I was clockable as a lesbian, and butch, long before I fully admitted who I was to myself. 

I felt unattractive. I refused makeup and more feminine clothing and convinced myself it was because I was a “feminist” or didn’t want to invite the gaze of men because I wanted to focus on college and not date. I just knew I would be alone forever (which sounded better than being with a man in any case) and no woman would look at me as anything more than a goofy friend. 

Years later, after talking to my old friends and nights chatting with my older lesbian friends in my early 20’s I realized we all shared very similar experiences. Very few women think of themselves as desirable to others. It was the rare one, usually traditionally attractive and outgoing, who had some idea that she was interesting to the opposite sex even if she had no desire for that. Most of us had this idea that we were just plain, or ugly or just not attractive, especially to the demographic we most wanted to desire us as a romantic partner. 

The fact is, many women have a similar feeling to what you are going through regardless of her sexual orientation. 

On to the good news. The greater Western culture tends to portray butches in the media either ugly and rude or stoic or as some perfectly physically fit woman who wears a sports bra to show off her muscles and is brimming with a snarky confidence. That is show biz and not real life. 

I hear young butch4butches and young femmes and garden variety lesbians lament all the time that they can’t find butches today. “Where have all butches that love being butches gone?”  they ponder. So as a butch there are plenty of women out there seeking you and wanting to see and meet you. 

We are quite visible and it is hard to hide our lesbianism when we are in public. And most of us don’t want to. We want to be comfortable as ourselves so we put on a stiff upper lip and go into the world looking as confident and sometimes as tough looking as we can muster. Once you meet the right friends and date a woman with whom you connect you will find a feeling of safety if you let it. Allow your friends to carry some of the burden. Listen to them when they say they have your back. Let the woman you are dating stand up for you and talk about how wonderful you are. 

Take a look at my tiktoks or posts here on tumblr and you will see that butches are loved and appreciated but a vast majority of the LGBT Community. 

Wear what makes you feel confident. Get out to events at the gay bar, concerts, even non profit fundraising events. Take the time to go to places that require you to dress up and put some effort into picking an outfit that suits you. Looking good can truly lead you to feeling good. You can boost your own confidence by getting a good haircut that you love, shining your boots and putting on some light cologne. The best way to get past the feeling of being inadequate as a dating partner is to get out and meet more women to befriend.  The more women you meet the more you can see you are not alone 

As you meet more people,  and form more community connections, you become more comfortable as yourself and you feel much less endangered in public. You learn that much or your fear is thinking others are watching you when in reality most people are just trying to get through their day. This is not to say it is not important to read your surroundings, it certainly is, but you will feel much more at ease if you feel confident in yourself.

#butch #lesbian #confidence #dating #love

[sapphic-gardn]

About me

To all my new friends! I thought it would be nice to let you all get to know me a bit better.

Hello! My name is Jenna—Jen is my nickname that close friends call me but I don’t have a preference. You can call me whatever you want.

I am 23 and my pronouns are she/her.

I just recently joined the Pedro Pascal train in February of this year (when I started watching tlou). I was really drawn to this fandom not only because of Pedro. I’ve discovered that this community is extremely welcoming and open-minded which I have witnessed first hand.

I was a huge Directioner and 5sos fan back in my day (about 11-12 years ago) and was super involved in the fandom.

My big girl job is working as an esthetician! I know all things beauty and you will never catch me skipping out on my skincare routine. I am also a makeup artist and lash tech which is sort of under the umbrella of esthetician.

I love music. All kinds of music (not so much country but I can warm up to it). Classic rock and indie folk are by far my favorite genres. I am also a Whore for Lana Del Rey.

Nature is a place where I can feel at peace. I adore watching little animals scurry around and birds fly across the sky. Cloud watching is also very fun (don’t knock it ‘til you try it).

My favorite colors are green and yellow, and no, I will not choose just one.

I am American (oof) but I don’t celebrate the 4th of July unless it’s Joel Miller’s BBQ party. Also not to get political (but yes, I am going there) I am pro-choice, supporter of BLM, part of the LGBTQ+ community (lesbian), I love pronouns and will respect whichever ones you go by, and TRANS LIVES MATTER. This is a safe space and I want to make that abundantly clear.

I can’t think of any more facts without spilling my guts on this post so I am going to leave it at that. I would love to get to know my followers so drop a fun fact about yourself in the comments! It can be anything! I love getting to know people :)

Here is a silly little picture of me absolutely geeking at Harry Potter World 🤓

Also I want to tag a few moots who I adore/want to get to know better! Love you -jenna

@cool-iguana @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @breakfastatjoels @bastardmandennis @alejaa-a @planet-marz1 @dilfspitdrinker @mondaychildsworld @chaotic-mystery

[klaineccfanficlibrary]

Here's another bingo card!

debut fic - Home for the Holidays by izwardsoup

2. page turner - Empty Nest Revised by @coffeegleek

3.Need tissues - But What Are You Promising? by Canttalkgrounded

4. Unusual occupation: BetterKnot Bow Tie Company by @gleefulpoppet

5. Free choice - The Best is Intentional by Useless_Fanfictions

6. Summer story: I have guidelines by @hippohead

7. Written for a challenge: - So much better by maanorchidee

8. Made me laugh out loud: The Seat Filler by @hkvoyage

9. Trope wouldn't read (based on novel) Underneath it all by @heartsmadeofbooks

Thank you!

Thanks for your bingo card! All can be found here and details here. ~ Jen

Debut fic - Home for the Holidays by izwordsoup @special-bc-ur-part-of-it

A pure fluff, holiday-inspired little one-shot, Christmas return from college

2. Page turner - Empty Nest Revised by @coffeegleek

Burt Hummel was an empty nester who discovered a teenager sleeping under his porch. Kurt was just trying to survive in a world that was against everything he was. This is their story.

3.Need tissues - But What Are You Promising? by Canttalkgrounded

Years ago Blaine gave Kurt a promise ring at Christmas. Kurt asked Blaine what he was promising and Blaine listed off a bunch of things. To this day Blaine has never broken any of those promises, but this year he must break one, forever.

Kurt and Blaine never got back together but they stay friends. Kurt eventually gets engaged to Adam and they throw a party. Blaine doesn't attend, but he leaves a present. What he leaves, makes Kurt reconsider his relationship.

4. Unusual occupation: Better Knot Bow Tie Company by @gleefulpoppet

Blaine Anderson has been a Better Knot Bow Tie Company monthly subscriber for years. He's taken a hiatus from Broadway to facilitate the Journey Performing Arts School's summer program in New York. What happens when a zany bow tie sets off a chain reaction of events that may change their futures forever?

5. Free choice - The Best is Intentional by Useless_Fanfictions

Kurt?” Blaine asks, hands hesitantly coming up around Kurt’s shoulders. He knows he’s safe here, in Blaine’s arms. He knows that anything that he feels will always be reciprocated.

“If you’re not ready…” Blaine leaves the question unfinished. Kurt realizes that Blaine has been reading his silence a little wrong.

“I am,” Kurt says into the curve of his boyfriend’s neck, leaving no time for Blaine to question him. “I am so in love with you."

Or,

the one where Kurt and Blaine go to Blaine's house after the opening night of the West Side Story Musical and share their first time together. Kurt and Blaine's journey of their newfound intimacy and arousal. Reaction Fic to 3.05 "The First Time"

6. Summer story: I have guidelines by @hippohead

Blaine needs Kurt to pretend to be his boyfriend for a week-long work retreat. Kurt has seen enough movies to know how that cliché ends and comes up with some guidelines to ensure they don't fall in love with each other.

(yeah, they're absolutely already in love with each other don't worry)

7. Written for a challenge: - So much better by maanorchidee @forabeatofadrum

Kurt is very excited to make his Broadway debut in Deaf West’s production of Legally Blonde. He plays the Voice of Emmett and he has to work with Blaine, a Deaf actor who’s been part of the show since the very beginning. They grow closer through the process.

8. Made me laugh out loud: The Seat Filler by @hkvoyage

Cooper’s Broadway show has been nominated for numerous Tony Awards, and he insists that Blaine come as his plus-one. Blaine isn’t sure why because Cooper is spending more time out of his seat than in it. Blaine isn’t angry, not at all. How could he be angry when the seat filler assigned to his part of the room is not only gorgeous, but also funny and sassy? A Klaine AU meeting.

9. Trope wouldn't read (based on novel) Underneath it all by @heartsmadeofbooks

Blaine first meets the mysterious Kurt Hummel at his brother's engagement party, and he's immediately struck by the quiet, handsome stranger. He doesn't expect their paths to cross again, but when life gives an unexpected turn, Kurt might be the only one with the power to help him save everything he cares about.

#klaine fanfiction #2023 klaine bingo #Klaine fanfiction #glee fanfiction

[carpehistoryandthepens]

Legacy (what is a legacy?) Part 6

It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me

Hamilton, the world was wide enough. LMM.

one, two, three, four, Five

Summary: Mike is 13. Born May 2009. Sid didn’t know he had a son. All Mike had was hope and a prayer for his and his half-sister’s safety.

(Sid is a dad of a teen he didn’t know about AU) Sidgeno.

Warnings: (for the total story) post-child abuse (all off-screen but it affects things and is spoken about often), learning how to parent, panic attacks, anxiety, based on last season, OCs?, realization about sexuality. Post breakups. Desperate lack of in-depth research for CPS in both PA/CA, melodrama?, kidfic, angst, slowburn, playing fast and loose with the law for drama/storytelling purposes.

-

It takes a while, but Marisol chooses food for her and her brother. Sid makes sure that food is in normal hockey player portions. Mike makes sure that whatever wasn’t eaten was saved in reusable containers he had tucked into his gear bag.

Sid had stared at the containers. They were clean, but clearly well-used. Sid… had never known the food insecurity that the two kids apparently knew. With how both of them fell onto the food the moment Anthony brought the plates into the room, he said precisely how much they had been without steady food. 

Sid stared at them as they ate. It was rude, but Sid didn’t honestly care. Sid… had a son. 

Sid had a son.

Michael was Sid’s son.

There was no clear way to explain how Sid knew he had a son. Except for this kid, Michael was so clearly Sid’s. He was telling the truth here. And Sid was a father. 

Oh, Jesus fucking christ. 

Sid was a father. 

And his son was fucking abused for the last six months. 

Sid took a sudden but deep breath, causing Geno and Tanger to look at him sharply. Both of them gave a weary, tired look that Sid could ready from across the ice. He was not to freak out. The other parents' reminder that he now had different priorities, including not freaking out some kids – who Sid may or may not be related to –  kept Sid from letting that deep breath.

Sid… would freak about this later. He had a few choices to make. 

Ok then. 

“What next, Helena?” Sid asked the care worker after carefully breathing out and controlling his reactions.

Helena sighed, looking at Micheal. “We need official proof if he’s yours or not. So, a DNA test will be best. The sooner, the better.” 

That got both Jen’s and Anthony’s attention. 

“Can UMPC do DNA tests?” Jen asked Anthony immediately. She started typing into her phone. “And if so, how fast?”

Sid smiled inwardly. Jen was their PR person from the heart. She had grown up with them, and Sid trusted her. Even though she was much higher in the organization now, she was still Sid’s go-to for all his PR needs.

Anthony considered, tilting his head to the side and reaching for his phone. “Normally, no. But I think we can swing it. Give me a moment to make a phone call.” He stepped out of the room, phone in hand. Sid could hear him talk to their main doctor at UPMC.   

“A DNA test?” Michael asked, mouth full of the last food Marisol had ordered. In the corner, Sid heard Tanger hide a snort with a cough. Michael looked just like Sid did when he was at a team meal.

“We have to know, for sure. if you… if you are my son, you know?” Sid said slowly. That way, he could have all the legal resources. Sid was positive that Michael was his. The longer they spent in each other’s company, the more obvious it was. But… gut feelings weren’t admissible in court.

God, Sid was a fucking father.

Michael hummed in understanding. He went back to eating, but he was observing Sid. 

Sid did his best to look back just as carefully. They were sizing each other up. Sid had no idea what to feel beyond shocked right now, but he hoped that whatever Michael was looking for, he saw it in Sid.

Helena observed them both; Sid did his best to ignore her, choosing to watch the room instead.

Jen was typing something into her phone rapidly – Sid suspected it was Sully, as the lunch break was about to finish, and the three players were soon due into the video room. Geno and Tanger entertained Marisol with some commentary about the food that made her giggle. Charlie was eating and making sure Marisol was eating more.

Sid was kind of taken with how sweet it sounded. A child’s laughter.

His... Well, not his daughter, but his son’s sister. Oh, God. 

“UPMC can do it. But we won’t get the results for weeks, though. There is no way to get it faster.” Anthony said when he returned to the room a few minutes later. “We’re sending someone over now to get the tests.”

Sid and Jen pulled faces. It wasn’t ideal, but it would clearly have to do, Sid concluded to himself.

Helena, on the other hand, was nonplussed. “A few weeks? Normally, it takes months to get DNA tests.” 

Anthony shrugged, “We work closely with UPMC.”

“Well then.” She said slowly, taking the timeframe in. “We can have a placement ready in a few hours for now.” She reached for her phone. “So after the tests, they will have a place to go.”  

Sid felt everything in him freeze at that. “A placement?” 

Michael went stiff. He slowly put the food in his hands down to the plate. All of his attention was focused on Helena. Sid was glad Marisol was distracted by Tanger and Charlie.

“Yes,” Helena said. “A placement. They will need a place to stay for the time being.” 

“We’re not staying with….?” Michael trailed off, looking between Sid and Helena. He looked so young. Sid thought the rookies and prospects always looked young now, but Michael was a child and should not be so scared or uncertain.

Sid felt there was no way in hell that he would let the kids be given to a foster family. Not when he could do something about it. “They can stay with me!” Sid said, jumping to his feet.  

Most of the room, including Tanger but not Geno, stared at him in surprise, but this was something that Sid was sure of. He was going to take care of his kids. 

Or maybe. His kid? Or not at all. 

Either way. Sid could do something about their situation, and damnit. He was going to do it. He might be under-prepared, but damnit. He was not letting them go!

Geno was the only one who looked approving. Geno had Sid’s back at all times. 

“I’m not sure, Mr. Crosby, that would be a good idea,” Helena said frankly. She stared him down; she was about four inches shorter than Sid was, even in her practical heels. But she glared at him better than most players could do across the face-off dot. “If you aren’t the father, it would complicate things.” 

“I don’t care,” Sid said. “Even if I’m not his father, I would still want to help.”

Helena sighed, frustrated. She really was trying to put the kids first, and Sid appreciated that, but he had the money, the space, and the ability to do something about their situation.

Sid might be jumping into this, but damnit. Michael was definitely his kid. Sid had no real idea why he knew that, but he knew.

“Do I get a say?” Michael asked, raising his hand to get their attention. He had polished off two burritos and had a half-eaten burrito still in his hand.

“You do,” Helena said immediately - which Sid approved of - before following it up with: “But you must know that sometimes, we can’t follow what you want to happen.” Sid did not like the sound of that.

“I know.” Michael looked at the floor and spoke to his shoes, sounding defeated and tired. He put the food down on the plate. “Then… I don’t want to go to a placement. I don’t want Marisol to go to a placement.” 

“Look. I do not doubt you, Michael,” Helena said, making Michael look up from the floor with such concentration that it reminded Sid of his own expression while practicing a skill he didn’t have down. “But if you’re wrong, or your mother was wrong, it would make it harder for you emotionally to move on. If you’re not with a placement. I’m just trying to look out for you.” 

Jen reached into her pocket for her phone. After a moment, she flipped the phone around to Helena. Sid could get a glance of the image: it was one from when Sid was young; he was holding Taylor, and she might have been about three or four.

They just looked like Mike holding Marisol, only their coloring was different. Mike really did just look like Sid. Marisol didn’t have a passing resemblance to Taylor, but the position was too similar to one that the siblings were in to miss the similarity.

Helena looked at the photo long and hard, eyes going back and forth between Sid, Michael, and the image a few times before she nodded. 

“Ok. I see why you are so insistent, Mr. Crosby,” she said after a moment. “Both of the photos I’ve seen, you look very alike. But I need to know a few things before I can even start the placement. And then, you’re not the final decision.”

Sid had a feeling the questions she was about to ask. But the rapid-fire inquiries about his home, the space he lived in, his daily schedule, what he ate, and if he had cared for any children before were still a surprise. Helena was through.

Sid did his best to answer as truthfully as he could. Making notes mentally, he would have to get a nanny, and one of the bedrooms would have to be adapted to a smaller person. Marisol and Michael didn’t seem like they wanted to spend a lot of time apart from each other, but while none of his guest bedrooms were set up like that, it would take only a few moments to fix that.

Sid had money. And he didn’t mind spending it on this. Helena wasn’t entirely happy with Sid’s answers but wasn’t saying no.

After a lot of questions about his home and life, Helena pulled a face at how many times Sid would be gone overnight. Sid had a knot form in his stomach. Sid would be heartbroken if the basic answers about his life were enough to disqualify him.

He didn’t know what it meant when the one wish he had in his life that he couldn’t get through hard work and determination was handed to him, but Sid would be distraught if he couldn’t help Michael.

She fell silent, staring at him intently. Then, after a moment, when Sid was pretty sure that Helena was about thirty seconds from tearing into him for being under-prepared.

Sid opened his mouth to continue to talk – about what Sid didn’t know – but, instead, Helena cut him off, turning to Michael, “Michael. Are you ok with this? If he isn’t your father, are you ok going with him now?” She asked.

There was an instant when Michael didn’t respond, and Sid’s entire being told him what he wanted Michael to say. He wanted a yes. Sid wanted Michael to say yes so badly. Even more than he wanted to skate, it felt like. 

But at the same time, it was Michael’s choice.

It was always going to be his choice.

“... Yes. I want us to go with Sid.” Michael said.

The relief that swapped Sid was short-lived, sadly. Michael didn’t sound enthusiastic at all. He sounded scared. Sid stopped himself from asking if Michael was sure. 

This was an overwhelming situation, Sid reminded himself. The kid was tired. Safe for the first time in months, it sounded like he was still worried about everything. Michael wouldn’t be the typical giddy hockey teen with whom Sid interacted regularly. 

Helena nodded, “Ok then, I will get that set up Mr. Hernandez…,” she said formally, “Do you have any of your paperwork? Things like birth certificates or medical records?”

Michael pointed at the hockey bag in the corner of the room. Sid didn’t think it was filled with gear, even though it was full, “I have all my paperwork. I have most of Marisol’s. Birth certificates, and our socials. My passport. Whatever Papi had of our medical records.” 

“Can I have copies of them?” Helena asked.

Michael eyed her suspiciously. “Just copies, right? They are the only paperwork we have. And I don’t want you to talk to my aunt.”

Helena grimaced. “I don’t think we can avoid talking to your aunt if you want to stay away permanently. But we’ll review the information for the investigation soon if that is all right with you?”

Michael blinked, “Investigation?”

Sid echoed Michael’s question. “What investigation?”

Helena sighed, sounding exasperated for the first time in the conversation. “Yes, an investigation. We at CPS can’t just move kids around without the law being involved. So we don’t have to have a conversation now,” she reassured a suddenly worried Michael, “But we do need to talk very soon.”

“Will that allow me… or someone to keep the kids together?” Sid asked. He went over the next day in his head; he had some time in the afternoon, especially if he moved the meeting with Sully to before practice. Sid felt that Helena’s ‘very soon’ meant ‘right now, but there are upset children here.’

“Well, hopefully,” Helena said clearly, not trying to promise things. “I’m not going to promise any results. But an investigation must happen.”

“Don’t send us back,” Michael said, a note of sudden panic in his voice. He looked between Sid and Helena desperately. “We’ll run away again if we’re sent back.”

Helena met his eyes evenly. “I can’t make promises about the results of the investigation. But I can promise we will do one and make your and your sister’s safety the number one priority.”

Michael stared at her for a long moment before accepting her words with a nod, apparently past words.

“Mr. Crosby.” Helena addressed Sid, “You will need a lawyer if Michael is yours. To keep him and his sister. A very good one.”

Sid was suddenly very grateful he already had a call with Brisson happening this afternoon. First, to make sure of things. Because he was confident that his agent would have words with him about this.

But his agent would also know someone or at least know of someone who could help them.

Michael looked at Sid, and Sid stared back. Both of them sizing each other up.

Sid realized he had never actually Sid he wanted Michael to stay.

“I get a good lawyer, then,” Sid said.

Michael’s face melted into relief. He smiled. It was small, but it was real. It was the first time Sid had seen Michael smile.

#'sid has a teen he didn't know about' au #sidgeno #8771 #i write? #this will take a while to write #working title: Legacy (what is a legacy?)

[the-blind-assassin-12]

🎁🎁🎁 Lovely Weather

A SNEAKRET SANTA GIFT DRABBLE

A/N: Merry December and Happy Holidays, everyone!  Don’t mind me, I’m just here to leave another gift under the tree. These are my way of giving back to some of the lovely content creators here whose work brings me joy. I tried to personalize them a little bit for each person they’re dedicated to, but they’re just as much my gift to anyone who has ever shared their work or who has ever read mine. Thank you for being lovely <3

Gift Tag: @writeforfandoms - Who had this to say what I presented her with a choice of characters: “ijhfe;wnofhnwe you were not kidding when you said tough question.” But ultimately Jack won out, and I went with snowflakes, mittens & sleigh ride for the prompts. Jen, I hope this makes up for that devastatingly tough question. I hope it makes you smile and fills you with the kind of fluffy warmth that I feel whenever I read one of your stories. Thank you for being so lovely, and I hope you have the happiest, warmest holiday season! 

 WC: 2,880

Warnings: none. it’s 110% fluff.

“And last but not least, let’s get a look at our holiday weekend weather!”

The sound of a scissor blade being dragged along a length of bright red ribbon filled the few seconds of silence between the newscaster sending things over to the meteorologist, but Jack still heard you suck in an anticipatory breath. Raising his eyes from the tablet in his hand - he’d been reviewing some data that Ginger sent him regarding a prototypical weapon that would be available for testing in the new year - he looked over at you and had to hide the slight grin that pulled at the corner of his mouth. You were staring at the screen, scissors still in hand as you let the coiled ribbon bounce back toward the gift it was secured around, and he could almost hear the hopes and wishes that were swirling in your thoughts. 

Don’t you worry, gorgeous, there’ll be plenty of snow where we’re goin’. 

You didn’t know that yet though, so he kept quiet and watched as you waited to hear what the forecast would be. 

“Thanks Jodi,” the meteorologist said, standing in front of a map of Kentucky. “And it’s looking like a pretty mild one again, folks, which is great news for anyone who is planning to travel to see family or loved ones this year.” The radar screen circled around again, a few tiny splotches of light green popping up to indicate some patchy rain moving through the Louisville area on Christmas Eve the only precipitation showing anywhere on the map. The camera panned back out to show the weather person again, and with an apologetic wince they continued their segment. “But for anyone out there dreaming of a white Christmas, it looks like you’ll be waiting at least one more year.” 

You let out an audible sigh, Jack noticing the sag of your shoulders as the meteorologist handed the broadcast back over to the main newscasters, and even though he knew it would be better to keep his plan a surprise, he hated seeing you let down even if it was only temporary. It’ll be worth it though, he reminded himself. 

Still, he wasn’t about to let you stew in disappointment. “Hey darlin’.” He leaned forward to set the device he’d been scrolling through down on the wagon-wheel coffee table, head tilted to one side as you turned to look at him. “I’m sorry you didn’t hear what you wanted to.” Even though it's better that there won’t be any snow here, because then I won’t have any trouble with-  

Your expression softened, the lights from the tree and the ones hung around the window frame reflecting in your eyes and making your cheeks glow, and the sight scrambled the rest of his thoughts. “It’s alright, Jack.” Moving the gift you’d just finished wrapping into place under the tree, you shifted to your knees and faced him fully. A small huff of a laugh left your lips as you shrugged. “I knew it was a long shot, I was just…” 

Reaching for your hand, he pulled you from the carpet and up onto the couch. “You were holdin’ out for some holiday magic, hmm?” He let you get settled against him and then wound his arm around you, tugging you close enough to press a kiss to the side of your head. 

You hummed in response, one hand coming up to rest in the center of his chest. “I guess I was.” With another sigh, this one far less disappointed, you laid your cheek on his shoulder. “But I’ve got all the magic I need right here.” 

That made him laugh even as it warmed his whole being. “Well shucks, gorgeous, I know I’m good with rope tricks, but I ain’t sure that qualifies as magic.” 

Picking your head up, you rolled your eyes and gave him a playful smack. “You know what I meant, Daniels.” I do. The hand over his heart moved up so that your fingertips could trace the edge of one of the open buttons on the henley he wore. “I’m glad we were both able to get the time off. Spending the holidays with you is all I actually care about.” Your lips met the exposed skin just over the top of his collar, Jack tightening his grasp on you. “Snow just would have been the cherry on top.” 

Having grown up in sunny, southern California, Jack knew that the opportunity for you to have had a white Christmas was less than zero. Instead of snowball fights and hot chocolate, you’d spent your winter holidays as a kid on the beach with your siblings and your friends, building sandcastles instead of snow forts. Though you secretly always longed for the big, puffy flakes and frosty blanket, snowmen and sleigh rides and everything else that you’d seen in holiday movies, it wasn’t until you took the internship at the distillery in 2011 - and moved to Kentucky - that you actually thought it might be possible. 

“Just my luck that the last white Christmas in Louisville happened the year before I moved here, huh?” You’d since moved up within the organization, switching over from being a distillery employee to working in research and development for Statesman, opting to stay in Kentucky for the long and snowless haul. 

Jack let out a snort. “Wasn’t much more than an inch of powder,” he recalled, rubbing his palm up and down your bicep, “and it was gone by supper time.” 

You held up the finger you’d been touching him with, lifting your head as well so you could look him in the eye. “Still counts.”

“I guess it does.” Gonna be a whole lot more than that when we get up north. Wanting to keep his surprise under wraps until the last moment, Jack changed the subject. “Speakin’a weather, you hear from your parents? Their flight get in alright over in London?” 

Your brother had moved overseas a few years back after a long study abroad stint, finding a job and then a husband, settling down in the outskirts of the sprawling city. Since then, your parents had alternated between spending the holidays in the US with you and Jack, and traveling to spend time with Paul and Cal. They also occasionally made the trek across the Atlantic, but since you were only ever guaranteed a handful of days off surrounding the winter holidays, you rarely got the chance to do the same. This year you only had off from the 24th to the 26th of December, Jack likely having to go in the day after Christmas, or at the very least attend a virtual meeting via his glasses, so a trip to England was simply not in the cards. 

A trip up to the Adirondacks, though? That was definitely in the cards

“They did.” You answered his question and he nodded. “My mom called to let me know they landed while I was in my office this afternoon.” 

“Good.” A yawn broke free then, and Jack didn’t even try to stifle it. “You all finished wrapping gifts for the night?” 

“Yup,” you responded. “Just need to clean up and-” Then it was you who couldn’t keep a yawn from escaping.

“And then I think we should get some shut eye.” Need to get a good night’s rest so I’m sharp for the mornin’. “What d’you say?” 

Standing so that you could start to gather up and put away the wrapping paper, ribbons, labels, tape, scissors and other tools and decorations that Jack didn’t know what to call, you took his hands in yours and pulled him to his feet as well. “Sounds good to me, Jack.” You bumped your nose against his and then dropped a kiss to the corner of his mouth, where the bristles of his mustache met his lip. “See you in the bedroom.” 

– – – 

Both of you had fallen asleep quickly, the last few days at HQ having been packed ones in order to get things done in time for the holiday, and though Jack would have liked to let you sleep in the following morning, he couldn’t. Because the sooner we get goin’, the better. 

Waking you with a kiss, he waited for you to blink your eyes open, and when you did, the sleepy smile on your face felt like sunshine. “G’morning, gorgeous,” he greeted you through a grin of his own. 

“Hey, you,” you responded through a sigh, reaching up to wipe at your eyes. “What time is it, Jack? Why are you…” You groaned and shifted closer to him, seeking out the warmth of his body beneath the sheets. “We’re off, Agent Whiskey,” you mumbled. “We should be sleeping.” 

“Well, I’m afraid we’re not, darlin’.” It wasn’t the truth, and he didn’t like tricking you, but there was no other way to get you to HQ without raising too many questions, and he had to get you there, because that’s where the Silver Pony waited, all fueled up and packed with bags that Jack had put together for both of you the day before. 

That got your attention fast, and your eyes flew open as you propped yourself up on one elbow. “What?! What happened? Everything okay? I-” 

“Woah, woah there, easy, Iain’t sure yet what’s goin’ on. Just woke up to a message from Ginger sayin’ we needed to report soon as we could.” Jutting his chin in the direction of your nightstand where your work tablet sat next to your phone, he went on. “You probably got the same message. You can check it.” 

Sighing, you rolled to your other side and picked up the device. Sure enough there was a message from Ginger - one that Jack knew would be there because he had asked the woman to send it to you. Thanks, Ginger Ale, you’re a lifesaver. You pressed the heel of your palm into your eye and let out another sigh. “You’re right, I did get one, too.” Setting the device down, you sat all the way up, suddenly alert. “Says to report to the hanger, so I guess that means field work? Why would I need to go to-” 

“Not sure.” Jack shrugged and leaned in to kiss your cheek. “But I know if we don’t shake a leg she’s just gonna keep on sendin’ ‘em, and…” He trailed off and you nodded. 

“No, you’re right.” You tipped your head back to stretch your neck, taking a deep breath through your nose and then releasing it slowly. “Let’s get going, Jack.” 

“I’ll go start some coffee,” he said. “Can you be ready in ten?” 

Throwing the cover back, you swung your legs over the side of the bed. Even though Jack knew that you weren’t thrilled about the prospect of being called into work on the morning of Christmas Eve, you winked at him. “Be ready in seven.”

Perfect.

– – – 

Jack had intended to let the surprise go for as long as he could, but the second that you arrived at the hangar and it was empty, you knew that something was up. Your steps echoes in the large space, and you raised a brow in confusion. “Jack? What’s going on? Where’s Ginger? Where’s Champ or… anyone?” 

“Now, don’t be mad,” he said with a smirk as the two of you stepped up next to the sleek jet. “But there ain’t no mission, and we’re not here on Statesman business.” 

You scrunched your face, still clearly confused. “What? Then… why are we here instead of still at home in bed, Daniels?” 

Lifting one hand, Jack patted the metallic paneling of the plane. “Because we have got somewhere to be this weekend, and I don’t think you’ll mind so much once we get there.” 

That was all he gave you, along with a wink, and then he pressed the button that would open the passenger hatch, helping you up into it. He felt his heart swell at the trust that you placed in him, and then the two of you were in the air and on your way. 

Once Jack got the Pony off the runway and into the air, it didn’t take long for you to notice what direction he was flying in. “Are we… are we going to New York?” Cat’s outta the bag now. 

He knew that you meant the city when you asked, since that was where Statesman had another office in the Northeast, and since it wasn’t a lie he didn’t correct you. “Yes ma’am,” he answered. “Good eye.” 

You hadn’t said much after that, the headsets making communication possible but not convenient as you sat directly behind him, and you’d opted to simply look out the window at the world below you. But when he neared the metropolis and didn’t start to perform descent maneuvers, you spoke up again. “Jack? I think you overshot the city, I-” 

“I said, we were goin’ to New York, darlin’. I never said anything about the city.” 

“Upstate?” You asked, and Jack could hear the excitement in your voice.  “Jack? Are we going up-” 

“Hold tight,” he told you. “You’ll see soon enough.” 

And he was right, the flight coming to an end less than a half hour later at a small private airfield where the runways and tarmac were all clear - but the surrounding ground, trees, buildings and cars were covered by several inches of glittering snow. As he helped you down and out of the jet, your eyes widened and your mouth dropped open. 

“Jack…” Your voice was quiet and he knew that it was because you were taking it all in. “Jack, you…” 

Using your still joined hands, he tugged you into his chest and wrapped you in his arms. “How's this for a white Christmas, hmm? Better’n a little dusting down in Louisville?” 

You laughed, though there were tears of joy forming in the corners of your eyes. Jack swept them away so they wouldn’t freeze on your lashes. “Yeah, I’d say so, cowboy.” 

He grinned. Nice segway. “I didn’t fly you up here just to stand on the runway though, sugarplum. Got somethin’ else up my sleeve. But first I think we should bundle up, because it’s only gonna get snowier from here.” 

A glee-filled expression lit your face then as you let out a breathless sigh. “Lead the way, then.” 

– – – 

You got to the ranch about twenty minutes later, layering up in the backseat of the car that had been waiting for you at the airfield. There had been snow jackets and thick, water-proof pants, scarves, hats and mittens in the bags that Jack had stowed, and as you donned them all piece by piece, he kicked himself for not going with gloves instead so that he could lace his wool covered fingers with yours. These are warmer though, and that’s what’s best. You zipped up your coat and he couldn’t help the sly smirk that came with thoughts of unzipping it later when you were in your room, letting his fingers travel all over your body instead of just your hands, doing his best to warm you up after a day spent in the cold. Gotta get there first, though. 

“Why are you lookin’ at me like that, Jack?” You asked, breath puffing out in front of your mouth and snowflakes beginning to land on the crocheted hat you pulled on when you’d gotten out of the car. 

Reaching for your hand, he wrapped his around it. “Just thinkin’ about how much I love you is all.” 

That made you smile, rising on your toes to kiss him and licking away a snowflake that had landed on his lips first. “Love you, too,” you whispered without pulling away. “Thank you for this.” 

Hands going to your waist, he turned you around toward the barn that you’d been standing in front of just as it opened. “Don’t thank me yet. Got one more surprise for you.” 

As the door slid open on its track, a horse pulling an open sleigh made for two appeared, and you gasped with delight. “Are you serious right now?” 

The animal bobbed its head as it walked, puffs of white air coming from its nostrils as it let out a friendly huff. “I am, darlin’.” He leaned forward and around to kiss your cheek from behind. “You wanted a White Christmas like the ones in the movies? Well, you got one.”

Shaking your head in awe, you looked back at him. “How did you… when…Jack…” 

“Found this place when I was workin’ in the city last year,” he explained. “Needed somewhere I could go so I could ride and blow off some steam and… this ranch was perfect.” You muttered a it sure is, and he kissed you again. “Now, this beauty is gonna take us for a ride, and then we’re gonna warm up by the fire and watch the snow come down. How’s that sound?” 

You removed one of your mittens then, shoving your bare hand into one of his, twining your fingers inside the mitten and squeezing. “Sounds like the best Christmas ever, Jack.” 

Seeing the happiness on your face, hearing it in your voice and feeling it in the way you gripped his hand, he had to agree. 

.

.

.

This is the Ranch that I looked up for inspiration. It was the first one that I found in the area that did holiday sleigh rides. and when you see the names of some of the horses that they own, you’ll know why it was just too perfect to pass up. 

Thank you for reading! If you would like to be added to or removed from my taglist, please feel free to let me know by sending a message or by filling out the form on my masterlist :)  

tags:  @something-tofightfor @paracosmenthusiast @cannedbees @dihra-vesa @disgruntledspacedad @littlemisspascal @mishasminion360 @nyctophiliiiiaaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @harriedandharassed @woodlandmouth @swtaura @trickstersp8 @princessxkenobi @imtryingmybeskar @wildmoonflower @mswarriorbabe80 @theredwritingwitch @silverstarsandsuns @competentpotato

#sneakret santa 2022 #agent whiskey x female reader #jack daniels x female reader #jack whiskey daniels #jack daniels kingsman golden circle #agent whiskey fic #holiday gift drabble #kingsman golden circle #agent jack whiskey daniels #happy holidays!

[semper-legens]

35. Female Husbands: A Trans History, by Jen Manion

Owned: No, library Page count: 278 My summary: It happens time and again. A man, living a perfectly normal life with his wife, is found to have a far different history than anyone assumed. But were these men truly women, or something else? This is a view back on the female husband with a modern lens, examining the phenomenon from a new angle. My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

I am occasionally in the habit of sneaking down to the basement at work and checking out any books that look interesting from there. Am I meant to do that? Not technically. Don't tell the stock team guy. Anyway, this book immediately appealed to me. I'm interested in LGBT+ history broadly, and trans history specifically, which is such a weird subject sometimes. We can't always substantiate the idea that a historical person who was crossdressing or living as a different gender to the one they were assigned at birth would have identified as trans by necessity - particularly not people like the subjects of this book, designated female at birth and living as men. There were various social and economic benefits to passing as a man, after all, and someone who would otherwise have identified themselves as a woman might have passed as male in order to get better pay or better jobs. Nevertheless, there is a solid argument to be made for some cases that they were men, regardless of how the world viewed them, and that's what this book is here to explore - the trans history of the phenomenon of the 'female husband'.

Female husbands, as a group, were people who married women as men and were found to be designated female at birth. With our current cultural lens, we look back at many of them as possible trans men or lesbians - either would have a good reason for marrying women. For lesbians, obviously, they would have attraction to women but not be legally allowed to marry them as women. For trans men, being married to a woman was a factor that could masculinise them in the eyes of their community, helping them to pass. Of course, that's not to say that marriage for historical trans men was purely a defensive move to help them pass, but it was a benefit. There are certain trends in the cases of female husbands. The wives often claimed to not have known; though, after decades of marriage in some cases, I doubt that most sincerely. More likely, they were saving face in front of the community, attempting to escape scorn and ostracism by claiming innocence. The husbands were often living as men already when they met their wives, and had reasonably respectable jobs. Either they were found out posthumously, when doctors and morticians inspected their bodies, or they were outted, sometimes by their wives and sometimes by others in their communities. It's worth noting that every case in this book includes someone who was outted, which is how we know of their existence, but that's not to say that there couldn't have been female husbands who weren't outted and lived stealth their whole lives. Which was arguably true for those outted poshumously.

This book is interesting enough, though I did have some trouble with how it presents its information. The female husbands are referred to as 'they/them', which undercuts the point in some of their cases when it's noted that they continued to defend their masculine identity. The author is, by her own admission, a cis lesbian, and I got the impression that she wasn't all too familiar with transness by necessity - though that's not to say that anything in the book was bigoted, it just felt like it was written by a cis person from a generation above me. Which it was. She makes the choice to describe the female husbands as 'transing their gender', which I think is an accurate one for what she is describing - the people here made an active choice to, well, trans their genders, regardless of if they might have identified as trans if given the language and ability. Many of the cases were presented with similar language and hitting the same beats, which made it feel like I was reading the same information repeated. Overall, though, it was a good examination of the topic, and one I nonetheless enjoyed reading.

Next, it's time to end an era - the final House of Night book.

#Female Husbands #Jen Manion #bookblr #book blog #book blogger #4

[reyesstrand]

I know Carlos can be petty but he was definitely unnecessarily petty in last nights episode. It really took me back to the Cooper storyline. I completely get that he was angry at Tk for going behind his back and talking to Iris (and worried that Tk doing that set Iris up for having an episode) but he didn’t need to be like *that* with Tk the whole time. But clearly he was still keep Tk up to date with any developments so he wasn’t being completely out of order or keeping Tk out of the loop out of spite. I don’t know, I think I’m just torn between how I would’ve handled it better and the fact that Carlos isn’t perfect and will make mistakes and has a lot of his own stuff he needs to deal with. The situation was very complex and no one is morally right or not right in this.

yeah i mean….. i think the writers knew we needed to feel the tension between them, because no couple is perfect, and also because they wanted this missing carlos storyline to hurt. and it does! it hurts because there are choices carlos made that makes things worse, because tk is feeling at fault when he shouldn’t and he doesn’t have that comfort because carlos is so focused on his friend, and we’re supposed to feel that. also, while carlos definitely was cold to tk (like….there’s no denying that) and it hurt to see tk experiencing this, i don’t think he was mean or over-the-top with it. these are two men with huge hearts who have gone through the unthinkable together. i think they’re going to have little spats, because we know in the end they’re getting through it together. also like…i don’t think i have the words to elegantly phrase this but i can’t explain how important it is to think in a nuanced manner when it comes to any character and any relationship this character might be a part of. there’s no black and white when it comes to people or interestingly written characters; there’s no black and white when it comes to the intricate issues a couple might face.

carlos fucked up. carlos was cold to tk out of guilt and worry for his friend (while likely blaming himself the most). carlos made some really bad decisions he’s going to face the consequences for next week in the most extreme way. and it’s okay to point that out and critique him for it and think he needs to be held accountable (as jen so perfectly surmised here). he’s petty at times, he’s selfless to a fault, he’s impulsive, he’s a control freak, he avoids confrontation when he can, he’s got a tendency to hold back his emotions and sometimes get passive aggressive (as beautifully explored in the cooper storyline, which showed us the pov of a man who’s helpless when his partner is going through something he can never imagine). these are just….facts about carlos, and they’re just as inherent to him as the good things we all love. he is so focused on helping his friend when he already expressed guilt about it in episode one that i truly don’t think he’s thinking clearly, and that’s so important as a set up to the climax and fallout they’re about to hit with episode four.

i also keep thinking back to the fact that in the timeline of the show, there’s no way more than five or six days have passed since carlos initially spilled his secret to tk. that’s a lot for anyone to handle in the span of a week, so i think he’s acting out of pressure and anxiety. it doesn’t make what he’s doing right, but it’s showing a different side to him, one that adds to the layers of his character. and it’ll all culminate next week, which i personally can’t wait to see.

#answered #anonymous #lone star spoilers

[authoralexharvey]

3, 12, 13, 17

Thanks for the ask!!

3. What were your top five books of the year?

I answered this one here, but I do have a slight update because I did finish a book this morning that changes things. So right now, I think my list would be:

The Ninth Rain by Jen Williams

Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee

A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon

Out by Natsuo Kirino

It Came from the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror edited by Joe Vallese

I finished ICftC today and I really liked a lot of the essays that were included. It gave me a lot to think about.

12. Any books that disappointed you?

There's an answer to this one here (Dangerous Women, an anthology) but I'm adding another one here because I finished it today:

In These Hallowed Halls: A Dark Academia Anthology edited by Marie O'Regan and Paul Kane. Anthologies in general will be really hit or miss, I've found, and I mostly read this to find inspo for ASMLP... there were a couple of real winners in here ("Phobos" by Tori Bovalino, "The Ravages" by Layne Fargo) and I'm interested in those authors to follow their work further (M. L. Rio was in this too and I LOVED If We Were Villains but idk "Weekend At Bertie's" just wasn't my fav?)... that said, a lot of these shorts were a letdown. There was a... interesting one about a professor attending the funerals of four of his students killed in a school shooting he is directly responsible for, and another short where the MC gets really weirdly obsessive over a gay romance between her professor and a fellow classmate, for example. Others had plotlines that were fine but had other issues like the pacing being all over the place or just not being very interesting, or (to me) kinda lacking in substance.

Like I said, anthologies tend to be a mixed bag, this was just... one of the more disappointing I've read imo.

One thing that did kinda tickle me: the last three shorts had an interesting tether. The first had a character named Phoebe. The second was the aforementioned "Phobos", and the final short of the anthology was wrote by a Phoebe Wynne. I just thought it was interesting.

13. What were your least favorite books of the year?

I have a couple of answers, one of which I shared here... but another book that I didn't get along with was Medusa by Rosie Hewlett. Honestly, I figured I wouldn't get along with it from the get go, but I gave it a shot anyway. The basic premise is a retelling of Medusa's myth from "how it really happened" and hot take but this work, like a LOT of retellings, would have been a LOT better as a standalone work. But it relied a lot on the mythos and it annoyed me. It also makes some really weird choices, like making Perseus the One Good Man of the entire book... which is. A choice.

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

I'm going with The Genesis of Misery by Neon Yang for this one. I gave their The Black Tides of Heaven books a shot, and it was fine but nothing that really,,, gripped me and made me want to finish the series tbh, so I never did. I saw Misery in the library, though, and decided to give them a second chance. I do have a couple of Big Issues with the book as a whole, but I had a lot of fun reading it in general and it went far in redeeming this author for me so. Yeah I liked this one all things considered.

#ask and you shall receive #alex has the floor

[livingforloki]

Since She-Hulk is such a terrible mess, here’s what I would have done:

The show opens in pretty much the same way, only before the scene of the crash, we get to establish the fact that not only is the Grandmaster in town, he’s set up a shiny new planet, and he wants his champion back. He’s been watching Bruce quietly for a while, having figured out his precious champion resides inside his mind somewhere.

Upon learning through the media that the Hulk can be drawn out of Bruce during times of stress, he orchestrates the car crash with no concern for Jen’s safety. Bruce is injured far worse than Jen, falling in and out of consciousness. He tries to tell her he’s bleeding and that she should get away from him but can’t find the strength to fully explain the seriousness of the situation. He loses consciousness as his blood reaches Jen’s system, and only just catches the beginning of her transformation.

The Grandmaster, upon seeing Jen, is fascinated and confused. The Hulk isn’t making an appearance but there’s a second Hulk? A smaller, different kind of Hulk. Bruce begins to regain consciousness after Jen disappears, and the Grandmaster refocuses on his goal. But before he can try anything more to trigger an appearance from the Hulk, he picks up a radio signal. 

It’s Bruce’s watch (not a prototype, but a finished version) beeping to alert somebody, we don’t know who just yet, that he has been injured. Eventually Bruce manages to swipe the screen, and hit a couple of buttons. We hear somebody from S.W.O.R.D. answer his call. They ask him if he is okay, he says no. He tells them he’s hurt, that he doesn’t know what will happen if he becomes the Hulk again after so long of forcibly repressing him. They tell him somebody is on the way. He asks them to find Jen, telling them Jen is in trouble, then he loses consciousness for good and the scene fades out.

The Grandmaster, realising a very powerful organisation is heading to Bruce’s location, decides to take the loss, and retreats.

Fast forward to Jen outside of the bar, there’s no cliché catcalling, she’s just lost, and worried, and trying to borrow someone’s phone. A heavy duty truck pulls up, armed soldiers try to take her in. They tell her Bruce sent S.W.O.R.D. to help her (when we know it’s more nuanced than that, he had nobody else to ask for help) and she panics under the stress of the situation. She fights back, She-Hulk makes an ‘almost’ appearance. She is sedated and put into the truck.

Fast forward again and it isn’t Bruce keeping her captive on a island in an attempt to help her control her new abilities. It’s S.W.O.R.D. Bruce is healed, and arguing with the organisation. Insisting he thought they were better than keeping her imprisoned. We can see he’s incredibly upset, and feels responsible for putting her in a similar position to one he was previously in himself. He makes them promise not to run tests on her, or use her for any kind of gain. And eventually (maybe even with some lawyer help from Jen, help that might inspire her to one day work in superhero rights) he gets them to agree to let her go the moment they’re confident she isn’t a threat to the safety of the U.S.

Bruce stays present for the majority of Jen’s ‘training’ and though Jen is angry with him at first, she begins to understand he hadn’t intended to put her in her in such a difficult, and traumatising situation. They have heart to heart conversations about the things he went through as a child, and the events that eventually led to him being on the run from the government. Even talking briefly about how he was threatened into helping S.H.I.E.L.D. with the Tesseract, something a lot of fans seem to forget. He wasn’t given a choice.

When Jen is finally released, after a short amount of time that surprises both Jen and Bruce, she tries to go back to her life as a lawyer while Bruce stays to work (begrudgingly) with S.W.O.R.D. in an attempt to figure out why a Sakaarian ship was on Earth.

The Grandmaster learns more about Bruce’s ‘inhibitor’ wristband and vows to break the Hulk free from Bruce’s body. He essentially becomes the villain of the series.

Lots of things happen and we finally get to see the Grandmaster meet Bruce. Bruce is in danger, unable to protect himself due to his wristband, and Jen comes to his rescue. We see this isn’t the first time she has protected him from violence, and it is referenced sometime after that she used to protect him from his father when they were children. She Hulks out and tells the Grandmaster that he isn’t getting anywhere near her cousin. It’s very sweet.

More things happen and Jen eventually meets a handful of aliens the Grandmaster has been in the process of collecting from planets. She learns from Bruce that he likely wants to use them in fights, and we finally get to see some trauma from what he went through in Ragnarok. Jen and Bruce get to discuss the fact that he essentially sacrificed himself to save Thor’s home. We also get to see how affected he still is by knowing he was used as a killing machine for the Grandmaster’s entertainment (something Ragnarok does literally nothing to address). He tells Jen after a spark of somewhat crazed inspiration that she should take the Grandmaster to court, to try and claim the aliens have rights as asylum seekers on Earth. She challenges the Grandmaster, and finding the situation humorous, he agrees.

Jen wins her case, and begins getting new superhuman related cases, deciding to open her very own law firm. Maybe this is where Abomination comes in, or he could have been one of the ‘aliens’ the Grandmaster had captured. The aliens the Grandmaster had been holding are released to Earth, under the protection of its laws. The Grandmaster is obviously infuriated by this, but quickly gets over it because, well... he’s the Grandmaster

This is as far as I got in my head... have fun filling in the gaps!

#she hulk #shehulk #bruce banner #jennifer walters #ragnarok

[themarginalthinker]

ok time to put this here so I can work it out in my head

Charlie - a runner, carrying info and physical goods all over the Warren and consequentially all over the city. Her excellent memory serves her well in forming a mental map of the tunnels and has an eerie sense of spacial awareness that helps her navigate better than even some of the older Kindred. Mostly does work on Alfred's say-so, but isn't above doing some for other groups as-needed. Even while needing to stay Masqued, she enjoys spending time out of the Warren, and social/clan obligations permitting, spends more nights out than not.

Zephyr - a spy, gathering intel more in the physical work through photography and soundbites, stolen paperwork and items. Has a unique combination of Obfuscational abilities that allows her both to be unseen and unheard, meaning she's essentially a ghost. Tends to stick closer to the Warren than others unless out for a job or accompanied by close friends and allies.

Tweak - techhead, leaning more into the 'traditional' Nos occupation of using 1s and 0s as his weapon of choice. Since the crash and burn of Schreknet, has been sneakily running a small TCWarren-and-some-allies wide server, slowly playing with incorporating some of Charlie's biology experiments with technology. Been under Alfred for the longest of any of the coterie aside from Blue.

Jen - a repairman, of all sorts. His history in infostructure and almost all branches of various trade jobs has lead him to becoming something of a skillmonkey, combined with his nail-biting display of control over rotschrek, able to actually use welding and cutting tools for short periods of time. Enough to get the job done. Doesn't tend to be a people-person, even within the Warren, rarely seen topside, and when he is, it's usually with Fenster.

Fenster - a people-person, setting up various jobs for the coterie and collecting information in the slip-ups drink and blood can make flow easier. Fen loves a practical joke, and isn't afraid to play them on even his fellow Nossies, though at least not to the same destructive degree as non-clanmates. As much as he's a smooth-talker, you'll never catch him dancing with anyone but Jen.

Blue - adjunct to Primogen, helping keep people, places, dates and relevance between all three, in order for Alfred. Blue has been by Alfred's side for almost the whole four decades since his embrace, and holding on to every scrap of information the Primogen allows him to know. Blue knows more, and knows of, more people than any of the others combined. He frequents above ground almost as much as below, usually with Charlie in tow, or following after her on whatever mission (personal or otherwise) she's on now.

#vtm #vampire the masquerade #clan nosferatu #nosferatu #ocs #The Warren #Twin Cities by Night #this is most of the main characters #aside from Alfred and Avram #who are too involved in the Ploty plot to say much of just yet ;) #but I wanted to outline mostly for myself a sense of what these people do for the Warren and on a nightly basis

[flutteringphalanges]

Summary: The sound of footsteps drew nearer as Hopper and Joyce stared intensely at one another in their holding cell, almost as if trying to burn the image of one other’s face in their mind. His bruised hand found hers and though the mere movement caused him great pain, he squeezed it. “No matter what happens, we’re gonna get out of this. You and me, we’re gonna make it.” She nodded her head, thumb brushing his knuckles. “I know.” But as the door began to open, both secretly wondered if those words would be true.

(In which both Hopper and Joyce find themselves captured by the Russians after the Starcourt incident and trials they must face and endure before finding freedom together).

Rating: M

Relationship: Joyce/Hopper

Read on Ao3 and FFN

A/N: Hello all! Sorry for the wait, I have not one excuse haha! Quick suggestion, I would recommend reading this on Ao3 because the format is way better and certain things are italicized or whatever where they might not be on here!  I have decided to have both Joyce's and Hopper's POV's in each chapter. So for instance, this chapter start's with Joyce's and the second half's Hopper's. Whenever they are together in a given chapter, I will decide whose POV I want it to be (and it will, of course, alternate so they both have a chance to shine lol). Again, I promise this will not be confusing at all! I hope you enjoy! Feedback is greatly loved and appreciated! -Jen

                                              Chapter Three

                                                       Joyce

Joyce had once loved snow. Woolen sweaters. Mugs of hot cocoa-the good kind, made with milk and not water. Snuggled under a blanket while she and her sons watched a good Christmas movie from their sofa. Happy memories. Something she always looked forward to when the seasons changed. But now, as the wind blew, snowflakes almost falling in clumps before her, her feelings shifted. There was no more beauty. Only cold.

The long concrete walkway leading out of the fortified building, razor wire fences reaching towards the sky, seemed to go on for miles. Or so it felt that way. Though her wrists and ankles were no longer bound, Joyce didn't feel any less free. She knew that one simple wrong step would earn her a bullet straight through the head courtesy of one of the two guards who walked in unison by her side.

Some stupid part of her wanted to risk it. Give it everything she had and run. But then there was Barinov. The man, who, with the mere snap of his fingers could have Hopper hurt. Tortured. Or worse. That was enough to keep her obedient. Keep him safe from whatever sadistic things the captain had in mind. Joyce chewed on the inside of her cheek and tried not to think about what was happening to him right now.

"You made a wise choice." Barinov spoke, cutting through the silence. "Coming with me was inevitable, but your compliance helped your friend." When she said nothing, he continued. "You are luckier than you realize, American woman…or Joyce? That is your name, is it not?"

Joyce. Hearing her name from Hopper, it was warm. Gentle. Even when he was in one of us moods. But Barinov, it felt forced. Bitter. Not an ounce of compassion behind it. It left a sour taste in her mouth and she wasn't even the one who said it. Joyce tried to focus on the path ahead, catching sight of something in the distance. Black, sleek, its build long, a car no doubt. A type she did not recognize.

"Eventually you are going to have to talk. Though, once you do, I am sure I'm going to wish that you will stop. I've heard what you American women are like. Never able to keep your mouths shut, not even in death." He snorted and made a gesture with his hand. "Hopefully you'll learn a thing or two in the Motherland." Joyce could feel his stare fixed on her. "One can hope."

Joyce's fingers had grown numb from the cold as she began to clench and unclench her hands trying to warm them. For the first time since she left Hopper's side, Joyce inhaled deeply through her nose, unsure if she wanted an answer to what she was about to ask.

"What is Kamchatka?"

Barinov's expression remained neutral at her question. Joyce tried her best to read him, but the captain's silence left her with nothing. If this was some sort of a game, she'd have no part in it. Instead, she kept her pace with the men, stopping only when their path was blocked by the car. A man stepped out of the driver's side, not even glancing at Joyce as he opened the car door. Knowing that she had no other choice, she got in and found herself joined by Barinov seconds later. The doors closed and soon after the engine rumbled to life leaving her to stiffen where she sat.

Rolling hills blanked by thick snow and plants barren of their foliage seemed to pass quickly by as they drove away from the facility. Joyce watched out the window, the emptiness of it all fueling the helplessness of being separated from Hopper and the unknown of what was to come. Absentmindedly, she began to pick away at her cuticles, trying to remain strong as she fought against the void that threatened to cause her to crack.

"Glavnoe Upravlenie Lagerei." Barinov's voice cut through the silence, snapping Joyce from her trance. She looked over at him, but the captain did not return the gesture. "Do you know what that means? Before both of our times, Joseph Stalin created a…sort of prison system if you will under his leadership. He called it, The Gulag. The Motherland had many, many labor camps for many different reasons. You see, if you betray Russia, you get punished." The captain shrugged simply, as if the mere idea of it wasn't horrifying. "The conditions…not ideal. But one must do as one must. In 1960, it shut down…except for a few. Kamchatka is one of them. You and your friend chose to visit us at the wrong place at the wrong time." He paused, finally looking over at her. "Or the right."

He was trying to intimidate her. Burrow under her skin. And though her terror for Hopper's safety grew, she fought hard not to show it. She instantly regretted asking him about Kamchatka. It would've been easy enough to deduce instead of learning all of the fine details. A prison. That much she assumed. Could've sat with. Placing him in the stereotypical setting of what her brain had created from all of the jail scenes in movies she'd watched. Now her mind twisted with the real truth, bile threatening to rise at the mere thought of it all.

"What do you want with me?"

Despite it all, Joyce's voice was low, lacking any emotions as she responded to Barinov. It surprised her that even though all of the anxiety, all of the sorrow was bubbling up inside her, she was able to hold it in. For the briefest of seconds, Barinov looked a little impressed with her stoicism-a glimmer that quickly faded within a moment.

Barinov nodded his head thoughtfully. "A good question. To me, you are like a mysh."

"A…mysh?" Joyce frowned.

The captain rolled his eyes and frowned. "A mysh-a mouse. You are small, insignificant. And I, I am like a cat. If I wanted to, I could eat you just like that!" He snapped his fingers in front of Joyce's face, seemingly annoyed when she didn't look startled. "And it would be nothing. Or I could keep you around, play with you like a toy…use your for leverage. But in the end, what happens to you, your life, it is on my terms. Do you understand, Mysh?"

Leverage. In Barinov's eyes, she was nothing more than a pawn in his twisted game. Using Hopper as a consequence for any actions she might take. And quite frankly, for all she knew at this point, the same was happening to him but using her. Barinov wasn't in this solely for finding out information. No. No, the captain had a much sicker ulterior motive. This, all of what he had planned, was for his own amusement. What other benefits that came from it were extra bonuses.

"You would do anything for your friend, Mysh?" Barinov asked, his gaze burning into Joyce's. "To keep him nice and safe, yes?" When she nodded her head, the corners of his lips turned slightly upwards. "Good. You follow my rules, your friend is not harmed. You break them and…" He formed a gun with his fingers, pointing them at his temple. "Bye bye, American."

"Yes," Joyce repeated softly. "I understand."

Barinov visibly smiled, though it was far from friendly. "Good."

There were a million things she wanted to say. Wanted to scream. To just turn and start whaling on Barinov with her fists until he was nothing more than a pulpy mess beside her. But she couldn't. As much as Joyce desired that more than anything else, she had no choice but to sit there silently. Obediently. Left to play and replay those thoughts in her head as the lights from houses appeared in the distance. A town. She hugged herself, feeling cold even as the heat blasted from within.

"Ah Kyrzran," the captain sighed contently. "A village of beauty is it not?" He glanced over at Joyce gesturing towards the window. "Welcome home."

                                                        Hopper

                                     "Welcome to Hell, American."

It wasn't the sound of an alarm clock that tore Hopper from his state of unconsciousness. Nor was it the noise of channels being incessantly changed by his fourteen year old daughter as El tried to settle upon which television show she wanted to watch as they had breakfast. Instead, it was the groaning sound of heavy, metal doors being pulled open allowing bright light to spill into the once dark interior of the truck where he lay.

He wasn't given a chance to properly come to. Have a moment to adjust to his surroundings. Before he could even react, Hopper found himself surrounded by guards once more, their boots trampling over his fingers as they rushed to hoist him off of the floor. He grunted softly, trying to ignore his body screams of pain with every movement he was forced to make. Part of him wanted nothing more than to pass out-the other part knowing that if he did, there would probably be consequences.

"Move, American!"

Out of all of the yelling and commands the guards were spewing at him, only a few fragments were in actual English. He could've really used Murray Bauman right now. Hell, with that son of a bitch, maybe they could've translated and come up with some sort of peace treaty. A joke. Something that would've never happened but kinda funny in an unfunny way to think about. Hopper hoped that his friend would find it in himself to keep an eye out for his and Joyce's kids. It was asking a lot, but once he'd figure out how to get him and Joyce out of this hell hole-or her at least, he'd make it up to him.

Hopper tried to will his body to move faster as his captors struggled to keep him upright. After having the shit beaten out of him, he had no choice but to be compliant. His throat burned for water and the icy snow that was melting from street lamp like lights taunted him. He tried to distract himself, attempting to look inconspicuous as he gazed around.

From what little he could gather, Hopper found himself coming face to face with some sort of complex. It wasn't simply just a square building, he could tell that by the rows of chain link fencing and razor wire he passed as he was dragged along. The way they seemed to wind out of sight and disappear to who knows where. In the distance, the sound of dogs barking cut through the wind.

He wasn't afraid. He should've been, his own life was on the line. Instead the more he began to realize what was about to happen, the more Hopper began to fear for Joyce. The fear of the unknown of where she was. What was happening. He wished more than anything else to at least see her again, know that she was okay. But his greater desire was to be able to hold her close and just hightail it the hell out of communist country and go home.

The guards came to a sudden halt in front of reinforced steel doors. There was a short conversation, of which Hopper understood nothing before one of the men fiddled around with a panel. Instantaneously, the entrance way opened and a new set of guardsmen hustled out guns drawn as if he had just acted like he was about to pull a fast one on them. The talking started again, and even though he had absolutely no clue what was being said, Hopper knew it wasn't good.

"You know much, American?"

A man leaned over, his round face rosy from the cold. Hopper stared back at him, his lack of a response seeming to irritate the guard. What the hell was he supposed to say? Know much of what? If he wasn't restrained, he'd shrugged his shoulders. Without any options, Hopper remained silent, unblinking as he gazed at the man.

Someone jabbed his ribs with the toe of their boot, Hopper sucking in a sharp breath at the pain. The guard's face was now a deeper red, but this time it wasn't from the cold. He was closer now, his face only centimeters from Hopper's.

"Russian?!" The man held his index finger and thumb close together to the point where they almost touched. "Little?!"

Then it hit him. The son of a bitch was asking how much Russian he understood. Before he could stop himself, Hopper let out a snort. Again he wished that Murray was here so he could know how to say fuck you in their language. Instead he still said nothing, earning him a big, wet glob of saliva spit right on his face. The guard slowly stood up, his eyes never leaving Hopper's as he nodded off to the side.

"Barber."

Hopper remained stoic, not giving the guard a chance of satisfaction. He knew it infuriated him, all of them. Even though he was their prisoner, he wasn't going in kicking and screaming, pleading for mercy that wouldn't be granted. Vietnam had hardened him. A lot had. And these experiences-these traumas, if he could twist them into some odd sort of advantage to keep him going, he would. His jaw set, eyes following the guard as he was once more hauled away a small sense of pride finding him at the fire that simmered in the man's hateful gaze.

Joyce had made a friendly jab at his induction buzz cut the last time he saw her before he was deployed. Now that he thought hard about it, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was being a little flirtatious. Maybe he just wished that she had been. Staring at the open space before him, high brick walls, a single, heavy wooden chair, he found his mind floating back to that memory as he was forced to sit down.

A man approached, not wearing the distinctive guard uniforms he was so used to seeing, but another. Blue. Thick. Worn. Something was scrolled in Russian across his breast. A form of identification perhaps. He did not smile-then again, Hopper remembered Murray that they never do. Something was gripped in his hand, a razor that seemed to be on the brink of being tossed away. He didn't flinch at the sound of it being turned on, even when dark clumps of his hair began to fall unceremoniously to the wet ground.

Humiliation. Degrading. Christ, he just wanted Joyce. Wanted her safe. Wanted her free. Hopper gritted his teeth together as the ice cold jet of water hit his back with such a force that if he wasn't already pressed up against the concrete wall he would've been knocked off his feet. It was like being sprayed full on by a fire truck hose. Old blood and stray clippings of his hair ran down his legs and flowed to the nearby rusted drain. Naked, drenched, in the middle of a goddamn snow storm. Hopper's toes curled, the knuckles on his fingers white as he fought against the shivers that racked his body.

"Move!"

Numb and weary, Hopper gripped the uniform that was thrust into his arms. It resembled the barber's-just as worn if not more. He blinked, his thumb running over the embroidered tag on the front. Американский. Guess he wasn't the first American. Maybe, as morbid as it sounded, not the last. Apparently, his lack of speed was unacceptable to the guard and Hopper found himself struck hard in the arm with a baton. Pain radiated from the spot and he couldn't help the sharp inhale that he let in.

"Move!"

The desire to yank that damn club out of the asshole's hand and swing it hard into the side of his face was so tempting that Hopper almost considered it. Almost. But there was Joyce. Always Joyce. And if something happened to him, what of her? He needed time and pulling some stunt move, no matter how tempting, was out of the question. So he ignored the urge as he pulled on his uniform that was itchy and chafed his skin. At least it was better than nothing.

His mind traveled back to the Gate, back to when he locked eyes with her. Nodded that everything was going to be okay. That it would be fine. That she would be. He thought those were his final moments with her, not watching helplessly as she was led away by…

"American!"

Melnikov's snarl broke through Hopper's concentration as the warden approached without warning from behind. The man's eyes studied him with such hatred as he circled around the chief like a predator with wounded prey. After a few paces, he stopped, now facing Hopper full on. Their shared hatred for one another was mutual. The other man did nothing to hide it. Yet, Hopper did his best to remain stone faced. Hide any emotion. It was a power he still held over them.

"Try anything," he hissed slowly. "You die."

Melnikov gave a short jerk of his head and barked out something in Russian. Hopper could only watch as a few guards stepped forward with heavy, metal chains. The barrel of the warden's gun rested dangerously close to the chief's temple as the men squatted down and began to adjust the cuffs around his ankles so tight that it nearly cut off the circulation.

"Move," and there was a click. "You die."

He got the point. Part of him wanted to be a smart ass and point it out. But again, over and over he had to remind himself of the repercussions of acting on impulse. Hopper stood still, trying to get used to the heaviness of the chains that weighed him down. After a moment, he could see the gun being lowered out of his peripheral vision.

Melnikov eyed him, thin lips pressed into a firm line as if he were trying to gauge Hopper's next move. When nothing happened, he exhaled sharply and turned on his heels, his voice sharp as he snapped his next order.

The chains around his ankles caused him to stumble when he was shoved forward. Somehow, by the grace of god, Hopper managed to stay upright and not land sprawling on the ground. He sucked in a breath, mentally cursing as he tried his best to walk towards an open door guard on either side and the warden right on his heels.

He honestly had no idea what he expected. When it came to Russian prisons, he didn't exactly have much experience in that field. Hell, compared to the prisons he'd seen while he worked in law enforcement in New York, this place was more…archaic. Maybe not the best word, but it made what he knew back home look decent. Hopper licked his bruised lips, reopening a slit that had happened on the bottom at some point during the day. He swallowed back the faint taste of blood that came from it.

Bricks. Barbed wire. Razor wire. Mazes of it twisting and turning, sometimes stopping at bare, brick walls. He watched as a guard, armed with a semi automatic rifle, led a dog up and down the rows seemingly waiting for someone to fall out of step so he could jump into action.

At first, Hopper was under the impression that he was the only one as he was led over to the edge of the fence. After all, during his initial initiation he hadn't seen anyone else being brought in. It was as if he was special. That all changed when his attention was drawn to the men who slowly filed out of the same doorway he'd come from. Faces drawn. All silent. A few cast brief glances over at him. Distrust. Revulsion. As if any of their problems were a result of him. He continued to look forward, it wasn't like he planned to make any friends here.

The pain came in waves, sometimes hitting harder than not. As Melnikov was spouting something in Russian at the line of them, he tried to fight through the agony. Ignore the pain in his knees from standing so long. Joyce. She was his life line in getting through this. Something to hold on to. Someone. As he thought of her, tuning the warden out, Barinov wormed his way into his brain. Pain began to bubble with anger as the man's twisted features danced in his head as if the bastard were standing right before him. If he did anything to Joyce, Hopper would make him beg for death. A second motivation.

"Run, you die." Melnikov's face was just inches away from Hopper's when the chief refocused on what was said. "You hear, American?" And the chief gave a curt nod.

Their chains clinked in unison as they were all led back inside. It wasn't warm, not by a long shot, but at least they had the decency to raise the temperature just enough to where frostbite was less of a problem. But he doubted that it was done in kindness. One by one, Hopper watched as each man was taken in a different direction leaving him alone once more. The butt of a gun was rammed into his lower back, nearly knocking the wind out of him.

"Move!"

He had gotten the message, they didn't need to keep being so physical about it. The once narrow corridor Hopper had been led through suddenly opened up into a massive room. His eyes traveled around, taking in cell after cell, as the yells of both prisoners and guards alike cut through the air. The scent of musk and sweat traveled through drafts as he made his way up a large staircase, each step feeling more difficult than the last. He knew everyone was staring at him. Glares. Disgust. The American. Word must've traveled through the place like a virus. Like he had with the others, he ignored it. They craved a sign of weakness, one he was not planning to give.

"Stop!"

The abrupt command caused Hopper to stumble, nearly knocking into the man in front of him. A guard stepped forward, one he didn't recognize. He looked to be near his age, face almost cleanly shaven with the exception of a mustache that Hopper had the itch to tear off by the smug expression that was etched across his features. Whoever he was, the chief was already beginning to feel as if this ass would become the very bane of his existence.

"Go." The man nodded, gesturing for the other guards to leave. "I can take it from here."

Hopper couldn't help but look a little surprised by the man's grasp of English as the guard eyed him smugly. Without a second to recover, the chief found himself shoved straight into an open cell, this time unable to catch himself as he hit the floor…hard. Stars danced in his vision as agony erupted from his already stinging injuries.

"Yeah. It's not exactly the Ritz, is it?"

The guard's voice called out as the cell door was slammed behind him. Hopper forced himself up, panting as he made eye contact with the other man. For a second, the corners of his capturer's lips twitched into a small smile before turning down once more into a frown.

"Welcome to your new home, American."

#Jopper #Joyce Byers #Jim Hopper #Stranger Things #Joyce x Hopper #Hopper x Joyce #Jopper fanfic #The Light That Breaks Through The Darkness

[archivesofnostalgia]

Anya Taylor-Joy's filmography

okay so i've recently started watching anya's entire filmography and im not done yet. not even halfway there, but im putting here the list of the characters in movies/shows where anya has played in and that i've already seen, in no particular order with the occasional praise :) will be updating this list when i’ve seen more of her movies.

The Queen's Gambit - as Beth Harmon (MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE, I FUCKING LOVE BETH, SHE IS AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN 🥺🥺🧎🏻‍♀️💅👑)

Emma - as Emma Woodhouse. (she looked so pretty in all of her outfits 🥺)

Thoroughbreds - as Lily Reynolds. (i would let lily stab me idc, also the dad deserved it)

The Northman - as Olga of the Birch Forest (olga, leave that hairy man behind. he is a testosterone fueled man who USED u for him to get his revenge. that says enough)

Last Night In Soho - as Sandie. (again,,, i would let sandie stab me multiple times as well. would have murdered all those men for her, they are absolute pigs and Sandie deserved the world)

Marrowbone - as Allie. (ALLIE IM ON MY KNEES FOR U, LEAVE JACK, HE IS VERY MENTALLY ILL. OKAY IM ALSO MENTALLY ILL BUT AT LEAST IM NOT CRAZY??? let jack grief in peace and get better with time. in the meantime, im a way better fit for u allie, im just saying 🥺🧎🏻‍♀️)

Here Are The Young Men - as Jen. (Jen, im so glad u left that dickhead, he didn't deserve u. wish i could wrap u in a warm blanket and give u a hug and tell u it's going to be okay. men should be wiped out of existence ugh. THIS MOVIE THO, I FRICKIN HATE KEARNEY SO SO MUCH BUT I HATE MATTHEW EVEN MORE, BC HE ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT HIMSELF THAT BASTARD)

Barry - as Charlotte Baughman. (i disliked the guy. u deserved better, charlotte)

Morgan - as Morgan. (that asshole of a shapiro deserved to die like that. what a dickhead. morgan finally saw the lake she wanted to see. at least she got to see that)

Split - as Casey Cooke. (MY GOSH CASEY, U WERE SO FUCKING SMART. WHEN U MADE SURE TO PICK UP THE SHOTGUN SHELLS AFTER CLOSING THE GATE, I KNEW U WOULD SURVIVE. FINALLY SOMEONE WHO MAKES GOOD CHOICES IN A SURVIVAL SITUATION)

Glass - as Casey Cooke. (Casey, i admire u. i'm so proud of u. thanks for staying with kevin till the very end. i know he was grateful for u staying by his side)

The New Mutants - as Illyana Rasputin/Magik. (roberto can forget it, he won't be marrying illyana. i am)

The Witch - as Thomasin. (thomasin, u were the only person who stayed real. the only person who acknowledged ur own faults, despite all the undeserved hate u received from ur family, u remained the most genuine of all, i could only admire u more for that. also i would have offered the twins to black philip as well)

#anya taylor joy #the queen's gambit #beth harmon #emma the movie #emma woodhouse #thoroughbreds #lily u can stab me anytime #the northman #olga of the birch forest #last night in soho #sandie u can stab me anytime #marrowbone #allie im a better fit im telling u #here are the young men #jen lemme give u a big hug #barry movie #charlotte #anya taylor-joy #anya taylor joy filmography #movies #actress #morgan movie #split #glass #casey cooke #casey i admire u so much omg #tqg #tqg netflix #morgan #split 2016