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#like idk i see myself in the mirror and still see Me but in pictures and stuff its definitely noticeable

koqabear · 1 year

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Pretty Privilege (and its complications…)

♫: California Gurls, Katy Perry // Icky, Kard

“You love your boyfriend more than anything; so much so that you decide to pay a visit to him while he‘s on duty, a perfect excuse to gawk at his perfect form and charming self. Unbeknownst to you (like always) the act only causes Taehyun to stress, forced to watch you attract attention like a magnet and have people flirt with you left and right— even your understanding boyfriend has his limits, you know.”

lifeguard!Taehyun x fem!reader

Genre: established relationship, beach au, fluff, smut

Word count: 9.6K

warnings: bimbo/ditzy/feminine mc, mc is called a queencard bc idk, mc gets horny every three seconds, mc has nipple peircings and insane pretty privilege, (I have nothing to say for myself.) everyone in this damn beach wants her, she gets hit on by both men and women. alcohol consumption, (no one gets drunk) use of pet names (baby, my girl etc.) and the words boyfriend/girlfriend, lowkey public indecency.. teasing, possessiveness, a little jealousy.

smut warnings: dom!taehyun, sub!mc semi-public sex, marking, thigh riding, degrading, possessiveness (again!), rough sex, biting, breast play, grinding, oral (f. rec) multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, strength kink, tae picks the mc up, praise, dacryphilia, creampie (lemme know if I should add anything!)

Notes: alternate title: my strange addiction (kang taehyun) this fic is nawt meant to be taken seriously!! (I blacked out halfway through writing and editing this) Can you tell that I have tropes that just have a deathly chokehold on me? Embarrassing…

Kang Taehyun feels his heart stop the moment he sees your car pull up.

A peaceful, thirty-minute break quickly turns into a meditation session the moment he sees your hot pink Porsche convertible pull up, straight from a Barbie movie as the fuzzy dice that hang from the mirror bounce around— even from the top of the hill where the parking lot is at, he’s still able to spot you with eerie ease.

You’re as energetic and bubbly as ever as you exit the car, laughing with your friends as you fail to notice Taehyun’s heated stare; your friends however, are much quicker to catch him, sharing knowing looks amongst themselves and laughing softly.

His face feels hot as he quickly looks back down, his gaze downcast as he goes to scroll on his phone as a distraction— like instinct, he opens Instagram, your newest story popping up on his feed as he finds himself gulping nervously.

Beach day!! >v< the picture is captioned, your bright smile practically blinding as you pose with your friends— you practically steal the spotlight with ease however, especially when you’re wearing a pink halter top with a Hawaiian flower pattern that exposes your breasts perfectly, the dip allowing your gold necklaces to rest in between.

God, Taehyun sighs, running a hand through his hair as he hears your bubbly laugh from a distance, it’s so difficult having such a hot girlfriend.

A hot girlfriend who’s practically an influencer, he adds, counting down the minutes before he has to go back on duty as he remembers how successful your social media page has become. You didn’t mean to do it on purpose— you simply wanted to document your life and style like any other person would— but it seems as though you attracted much more attention than you anticipated.

A few hundred thousand followers and plenty of sponsorships later, however, you quickly found yourself titled a true “queencard”— not that you wanted to be, anyway.

You took your newfound “fame” with a grain of salt however, living your life as normal and continuing to document your lavish and busy lifestyle— in turn, Taehyun asked you to keep your relationship on the more private side.

It wasn’t that Taehyun didn’t want to be seen with you; if anything, he adored showing you off, enjoying the way no one could take their eyes off you whenever you entered a room— off his girlfriend. He was very vocal about the love and pride he held for you, but he also preferred to keep his life away from the media. And like the angel you are, you accepted his wishes without any hesitation.

Like Taehyun, you absolutely adored your partner; you were quite obsessed with him, honestly. If he’d let you, you’d fill your feed with him, your camera roll that was already filled with pictures of him begging to be posted as your mind told you that he could be an influencer as well— because who were you kidding, he’s so smoking hot.

“Girl, you need to stop staring before you start drooling,” Chaewon says, helping Wonyoung unload the bags from the car as they begin to laugh and tease you. You simply whine at her comment, biting your lip before you force yourself to look away; how could someone look so attractive by just scrolling on their phone?

“I can’t help it,” you cry, taking a beach bag from Wonyoung in order to help, “he’s just sooo hot!”

“And you let us know every time,” Wonyoung laughs, nudging your side as she gestures toward the beach before her, “don’t you at least wanna get closer?”

Like an eager puppy, you nod, getting a head start as you walk down the steep path towards the beach; you can hear your friends yelling at you to be careful, but all you can currently think about is Taehyun— Taehyun and his rippling muscles, Taehyun and his tan skin that’ll be left exposed to the hot sun, Taehyun and his chain that you love to tug on when he’s on top of you…

Oh my god, you realize with dread, your thighs rubbing together as you stop to wait for your friends, I’m so horny right now.

The curse of having such a hot boyfriend— you literally got soaking wet from the very thought of him.

The last thing you would do is have your friends realize, however, much too embarrassed to let them in on your more intimate thoughts as you scan the beach, looking past the groups of people for a good spot to settle down; lucky for you, you find a spot between the lifeguard tower and a concessions stand.

“Here here here!” You yell, running towards the spot without hesitation as your friends are forced to keep up; you ignore the feeling of the sand slipping into your sandal pumps, much more distracted by the fact that you’ll be able to see your boyfriend on duty.

Taehyun, ever the innocent victim of your antics, remains clueless as to where you’re setting up at the moment; he sits at the tables on the other side of the concession stand, still scrolling through his phone as he counts down the minutes before he’s on duty once more— sighing, he looks up from his device, his eyes scanning the hill before him as he inevitably finds your car— he can’t help but frown once he sees that you’re no longer there.

Where could you have run off to, he wonders, walking over to the headquarters in order to go back on rotation— he’s unable to stop thinking about you, already dreading how much of a distraction you’ll be to him as he makes his way over to his platform— only to stop, his breath stuttering as he sees the very sight he’s been dreading. (See: fantasizing.)

You’re wearing that same denim mini-skirt that always drives Taehyun crazy— actually, you’re not even wearing it anymore, his teeth sinking into his lip as he watches you strip innocently. The bikini bottom you wear matches your top, the same pink with the Hawaiian flower pattern; the shameful excuse of a bottom barely covers you, yet you don’t really seem to notice as you tie a sheer beach skirt around your hips.

Dangerously, you pull your shirt over your head; and if Taehyun wasn’t flustered enough by your bottoms, the matching top definitely did the trick— how it barely managed to cover you almost impressed Taehyun, his mouth drying as he took note of the way you tied all the strings into cute little bows, adorning your hips and back as your friends complimented you over the cute set— puffing your chest out proudly, Taehyun swore he almost fell to his knees as he took note of the piercings that poked through the thin fabric.

Oh god. He’s screwed.

You and your friends are quick to set everything up; you’re eager to lay back against the towel as Wonyoung runs to the ocean, yelling at the two of you to go with her as she laughs with joy.

“No thanks, I’ll stay here,” you say, getting comfortable as you stretch under the sun, the warmth making you smile as you reassure Chaewon, “Actually, I think the place over there has a mini bar— I might go get a drink.”

With one last goodbye and a yell along the lines of get me one, I’ll meet you there! Chaewon leaves, sand kicking up behind her as she begins to chase after Wonyoung; the two look beyond happy as they enter the water, the sight endearing as you finally get up.

Unbeknownst to you, Taehyun watches like a hawk; he couldn’t get his eyes off you even if he wanted to, the sway of your hips and the shining sun on your skin much too enticing as he watches you leave, bitterly taking note of the way the men nearby begin to drool over you.

Taehyun isn’t an insecure person— he’s far from it, and he knows damn well that you’d choose him over any other man on this beach. But he’s also tempted to run after you, to claim you as his and show everyone just how much you like him— but he remains professional, feeling his ears turn red as he snaps out of his lewd fantasies.

You haven’t even talked to him, but he’s already feeling desperate for you.

Being a lifeguard has its perks— today’s perk comes in the form of his tall seat, being able to get a good look at the whole beach, and you. More specifically, the way you cutely lean against the counter of the bar, pouting like always as you take a second to stare at the menu.

“So…” you trail off, pursuing your lips before you’re smacking your lips, tapping your ID rhythmically against the wood as you feel the worker staring at you intently, “I’ll just have two margaritas. And a water. Please?”

The worker before you is bright and quick to work as he nods, stumbling over his feet for a second before he’s making you your drink; you don’t think you’ve ever seen someone work so fast as he hands you your order, sliding over an ice cold water bottle as well.

“Thank you! How much do I owe you?” You exclaim, placing your purse over the counter as you begin to dig for your wallet; only for him to interrupt you, stuttering out a quiet Oh, wait, as you look up at him with innocent doe eyes, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s on the house,” he smiles, watching as you can only let your jaw drop at his words; unsure of what to do, you glance back at your order, left speechless as you take a second, only to look back up at the worker in surprise.

“Really?” You ask breathily, tilting your head as you lean in closer to read their name tag— Jay simply nods, smiling sweetly as they reassure you that you don’t need to pay, “Oh, you’re so sweet!”

You’re laughing at the way Jay turns slightly red, surprised at his kind act as you ask one last time if it’s really okay— he reassures you once more, opening his mouth to say something before another customer is approaching, taking his attention as he reluctantly leaves your side.

Taking a sip of your drink, you can’t help but feel the smile stuck on your face as Chaewon finally appears to join you; she’s soaking wet as she stands with you under the shade of the bar, thanking you with a cute smile as she takes the margarita you hand her.

“How much? I’ll pay you back,” Chaewon says, gesturing at the drink before her as you simply shake your head in response.

“No need. It was free!” You say, giggling at the way Chaewon looks at you incredulously.

“Free?” She echoes, watching as you only nod eagerly in response, “how?”

“Dunno,” you say, licking at the rim that’s dusted with sugar, “that Jay guy was just really sweet!”

“Or attracted to you,” Chaewon muses, nudging you playfully as she gives you a mischievous grin— she laughs as you shake your head defensively, painfully unaware of your pretty privilege as you fail to notice the way Jay glances back at you, clearly hoping to talk to you again.

“I got this for Wonyoung,” you say, gesturing to the cold water bottle that’s currently dripping over the counter, “gonna go give it to her, wanna come with?”

Chaewon shakes her head, gesturing to her unfinished drink as she tells you to go ahead; watching you go ahead, she waits for you to get out of earshot, turning to the employee before she’s narrowing her eyes at him.

“Can I get a water please?”

Without another glance, Jay nods— “That’ll be one-fifty.”

Barking out a laugh, Chaewon grins, proving her theory right as she watches Jay turn red from the realization that she caught on— being friends with you proved to come with more benefits than she realized, she thinks, biting back another smile as she goes to drink her margarita. Turning around, she watches you fondly— and more specifically, the way you begin to walk past the volleyball game that’s going on, making your way back to your setup as the men playing begin to take notice of you.

“Hey baby,” a man calls out, drawing your attention as you simply hum politely in response, “Why don’t you come play with us?”

You can only muster out a soft laugh at that, shaking your head as you ignore the way your body begins to heat up from all the attention; shyly, you refuse their offer, unsure of what to say as you feel their eyes taking you in slowly.

“Oh, I’m not that good,” you say, shaking off their amused laughs as you hold Wonyoung’s water bottle close to you, feeling the perspiration drip onto your forearm, “I probably wouldn’t be very useful on your team.”

Your response is genuine; you know you’re not good at volleyball after countless failed attempts to learn, much more content sitting on the sidelines and watching your perfect boyfriend absolutely dominate during his games— the thought is enough to have you fighting back a fond smile, brought back to reality by the way the man talking to you takes a step closer to you.

“ ‘s okay, I can teach you,” the man grins, spinning the volleyball expertly in his hands as his teammates nod in agreement. You’re unsure of how to refuse them now, but a sudden sharp whistle is taking all of your attention as your head whips to the source of the sound.

You practically feel like an overexcited puppy as you spot Taehyun, on duty and scolding a group of teenagers for who-knows-what. Without another thought, you run over to him, leaving the group of men who can only call for you to wait— their words fall deaf on your ears as you feel your heart beating faster, calling out his name and watching as he finally spots you running over to him.

“Hyun!” You say, waving cutely as you watch him smile fondly at you— you think your heart could burst as you practically jump into his arms, feeling him stumble back from the impact as you throw your arms around his neck fondly.

“Taehyun!! Baby, hi!!” You say, bouncing on your feet as you pull away to pepper kisses on his cheek; all he can do is laugh as he falls victim to you, muttering a soft “okay, okay” as he pats your back fondly.

“Baby, baby, I’m still working,” Taehyun reminds you, watching you pull away with a small oh right, that tumbles from your lips. His hands are still on your waist as his fingers trace over the fabric of your beach skirt, and you can’t help the way you burst into giggles as you take him in.

“What, what’re you laughing at?” He asks, brows raising as he tilts his head curiously; you can only shake your head, wiping the bottom of your lip as you attempt to calm down.

“My lip gloss is all over you,” you say, watching as he simply laughs at your comment, his dimple on display as he reaches up to rub at his cheek— it barely works, but he doesn’t seem to mind much as he finally lets go of you.

“Did you get yourself a drink, pretty?” He says, nodding his head at the water bottle you hold in your hands; you nod, smiling happily as you recount the events that happened in your head.

“Yeah, the worker there is super sweet,” you gush, glancing back at where you see Chaewon still leaning against the counter, waving at you happily as you’re quick to return the gesture, “he gave me my drinks for free.”

“Did he now?” Taehyun asks, raising a brow at you as he watches you nod innocently. Glancing back at the shop, he sees Jay, who can only avert his eyes and hide from his sight. Looking back at you, his gaze softens as he takes in the way you practically glow under the sun, “that’s very nice of him.”

Taehyun wishes nothing more than to be able to go back off duty and enjoy his time with you; instead, he needs to wait another four hours before he can properly show you just how happy he is to see you— unbeknownst to you of course, much too eager to be outside on such a nice day as you ramble about things with no clear end in sight.

“I need to go back to work, baby,” Taehyun sighs, smiling at the way you begin to whine immediately, “I know, I know— I wish I wasn’t working today either.”

Bringing you in closer, he places a soft kiss on the tip of your nose before he’s taking a step back, the dazed smile you send him enough to have his heart fluttering as he returns it without a thought.

“ ‘m just happy I get to see you.”

His words clearly affect you as you attempt to stutter a response, hitting him with a whine the moment he tries to laugh at you fondly— you can tell he’s reluctant to leave, but the same group of teenagers as before seem to be causing a ruckus once more as he sighs, bidding you goodbye before he’s off.

You can only stand and stare with dismay, pouting as you watch him turn his back to you— his toned, broad back, with a waist so small you’d do anything to wrap your arms around it— or even better, your legs…

You groan as the same dangerous train of thought begins to hit you, your eyes squeezing shut as you force yourself to turn around— to walk straight to where Wonyoung lays without glancing back at your boyfriend, the task much harder than you’d think as you hear his sharp voice scolding the group of teenagers.

He sounds so hot, you think to yourself, wanting nothing more than to run away with your man and have him fuck you stupid behind the concession stand, oh my god, I want him so bad.

“Wow, this thing is freezing,” Wonyoung says, taking the water bottle from your hands gratefully. Watching as you slump down next to her, Wonyoung pauses, trying to guess what might be wrong before she follows your line of sight.

“Ah,” she mutters, taking a long drink from her water before she sighs, “Are you sad you can’t talk to your boyfriend?”

“He’s being professionalll,” you groan, throwing a hand over your eyes as you lay back, the pout forming on your face second nature at this point, “I just wish he’d stay over here!”

“It’d be a danger to the public if he just stopped doing his job,” Wonyoung reasons, watching the way you reluctantly agree with her, “plus, it was your idea to visit while he was on duty.”

“I didn’t think he’d look so fucking hot!” You admit, crossing your arms over your chest in defeat as Wonyoung simply laughs in amusement. Opening your eyes, you’re surprised to find Chaewon looming over you, a smile on her face as she takes her seat on her towel beside you.

“You always think he looks hot. Also, the bartender over there totally wants you.” Chaewon pipes up, calling Wonyoungs name as she gestures to the water bottle in her hands before gesturing back to the mini-bar.

“Don’t tell me,” Wonyoung says, staring down at the item in her hand as Chaewon nods in confirmation, “wow, that’s pretty impressive.”

“It’s nothing, he was just being nice!” You refute, ever an airhead and your friends simply shake their heads in response, “It’s true!”

“He didn’t bother looking back in my direction once you left,” Chaeryeong points out, glaring playfully at Wonyoung who laughs at her comment, “not to mention, those guys playing volleyball were literally drooling over you.”

“Wait, I saw that— I was kind of scared for a second,” Wonyoung admits, Chaewon nodding along as she confesses that she was about to jump in when you finally managed to escape, “you’re so lucky you managed to leave before things got weird.”

To be honest, you stopped listening around that last part— well, it’s not like you weren’t listening, it’s more like you weren’t really contributing to the conversation as you take notice of Taehyun, more specifically the way he’s playing with a child around the shallow end of the ocean, watching as he manages to make the child laugh, his eyes bright and fond as he takes good care of the toddler.

The sight practically has you melting, and you’re forced to bite your lip to suppress your smile— but then again, you’ve never really been good at hiding things— especially with the way you find your friends looking in the direction you are, the two of them sporting knowing smiles as they exchange a look.

“Oh girl,” Wonyoung sighs, going to lay on her back as she puts on her sunglasses, “you’re drooling again.”

Shit, you totally were.

-♡-

The next three and a half hours pass by painfully slowly— for Taehyun, at least.

It seems that you’re finally able to take your eyes off him after a period of adjustment, and he’s able to watch from his post as you enjoy yourself in the ocean, splashing around with your friends as the three of you have fun and remain carefree.

Carefree is probably one of the last words Taehyun would use to describe himself at the moment— it was a given that being a lifeguard was unpredictable and difficult, but being on duty while having his hot girlfriend that attracted attention like a magnet there with him was next-level.

He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times someone managed to hit on you in the past hour— from what he saw, at least— it was ridiculous, really, even more so because you were never able to pick up on it. Ever.

Taehyun couldn’t take his eyes off you for one second without a new person approaching you; he chalks it up to both your beauty and the fact that you’re one of the most approachable people Taehyun has ever met.

He’s never been happier to own sunglasses than today— or else you definitely would’ve caught him watching carefully as a random woman your age offered to put sunscreen on you, your friends back in the ocean as you opted to take a moment to rest under the sun instead.

“Your swimsuit is so cute,” she told you, her voice filled with a flirty lilt as it managed to travel to Taehyun’s ears; you had been as clueless as ever, holding your top up with your hands as you allowed her to untie your string and lotion your back— he tried to give this random stranger the benefit of the doubt, but it was really difficult to with the way she massaged you gently and leaned over to speak into your ear.

“Are you single?” The implications of her words barely registered in your head before thoughts of Taehyun were overpowering your brain, a smile involuntarily tugging at your lips as you tried to hold back your giddy giggles in order to answer.

“She’s not.”

You could feel the woman’s hands still on your shoulder as the two of you looked up, your smile only widening as your eyes met Taehyun’s— at least you think, he was currently wearing sunglasses. (Which he looked really hot in, of course. You think you would’ve jumped on him by now if it weren’t for the risk of you flashing the entire beach.)

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman behind you said, laughing nervously as she quickly went to stand; you couldn’t help but be confused by the way she hurriedly said goodbye to you, but all your questions were answered once you turned around to meet Taehyun’s irritated face, his brows pulled together in a frown as he let out a soft tsk.

“Hyun, are you jealous?” The question is enough to have him snap out of his daze, blinking wildly behind his shades before he’s pushing them up and onto his head, pushing his wet hair back and exposing his forehead as he did; looking down at you, he can’t help but soften at the sight of you and your cute wide eyes, letting out a soft chuckle before he’s patting your head fondly.

“No, I’m not.”

You watch as he settles down behind you, taking the previous woman’s spot as he murmurs for you to turn around. You’re facing forward once more, taking in the pretty sight of the beach as you shift on your knees, sitting back on your legs as you wait for him to do something.

“You looked pretty jealous,” you muse, looking down to watch as he takes the sunscreen bottle that was left at your side; the smell of the lotion fills your senses once more as you hear him open it, squeezing some on his palm as the sound of his airy laugh reaches your ears.

“Well, it’s not exactly nice to watch another person feeling up my girl,” he reasons, watching as you straighten up at his comment, “why didn’t you ask your friends for help baby?”

“Mmmh, they’re busy and she offered to help,” you confess, shivering at the feeling of the cold lotion against your shoulders, “and she was not feeling me up.”

Unbeknownst to you, Taehyun can’t help but feel frustrated at your comment— your naivety made it difficult to make a point sometimes, and this was one of those moments as he was unable to stop the deep sigh that escaped him.

“She wasn’t?” He asks, and you can’t help but gasp as you feel his touch become further; fingers digging into your flesh, massaging your shoulders tenderly as he leans in close to whisper into your ear, his hands roaming your body so slowly you think you might melt, “so what do you feel now that I’m doing it?”

Horny.

“I… I feel like I’m in the wrong,” you admit, stuttering softly as he begins to come back up to your shoulders, his dainty hands going past your collarbones and down your arms; slowly, he makes his way down, leaning forward as he does so until he’s pressed firmly against your back— his firm chest against your back, his hands reaching for your own as he interlocks his fingers with yours.

You can feel his hair tickle against your neck as he presses a slow kiss against the back of your shoulder, biting your lip as you fight back the desperate whine that threatens to escape from you.

“Glad you realize,” he laughs softly, letting go of you and sitting back as he takes a moment to inspect the beach; you can’t help the sadness that fills you as he begins to stand, only to pause as he notices your dejected state.

“Do you need any more help?” He asks slowly, watching as you nod happily before you’re laying down across the towel; he thinks he might lose his job as you look back at him, batting your eyes prettily as you send him a coy smile.

“Do the rest for me?”

Taehyun hesitates. On one hand, it wasn’t very professional of him to lotion up his incredibly gorgeous girlfriend while on duty— not that the public was aware of the fact that you two were together, anyway— but on the other hand…

“How could I say no to you,” Taehyun sighs, kneeling at your side and taking the lotion bottle from you as he decides fuck it— he has half an hour left anyway.

Your skin is warm to the touch; both of you are sighing in contentment the moment his hands meet your skin, massaging the lotion into the rest of your back as he tries to remain as professional as possible.

You, on the other hand, are not doing that great.

If there’s one thing that tests your self-control more than anything, it’s Taehyun— especially Taehyun that has his hands all over you, his touch firm and soothing as he begins to massage the back of your thighs— if he sees you squeeze them together, he doesn’t bother to let on, your mind fogging with horrible and lewd thoughts that would have your boyfriend red and flustered within seconds.

The last of your resolve crumbles the moment his fingers ghost over your waist; dipping under the skimpy string of your bikini bottom, reaching toward the back before he begins to cop a feel— you can feel your breathing begin to pick up as he’s moving up, tickling against your sides before he’s reaching past your top; fingers massaging against the sides of your breasts, cupping what he can before he’s squeezing coyly. Flustered, you bury your head into your arms, listening to the way he laughs teasingly, his hands drifting away just as quickly as they appeared before he’s going to ask you if you’re alright teasingly.

“I need you,” You whine, the words muffled against your arms as you dig your head deeper into your arms.

“Hmm?”

This seems to be your last straw; sitting up, you scramble to keep your top on as you turn around to face Taehyun, taking him in in all his sun-kissed glory, sure that you look beyond flustered and destroyed by now.

“Taehyun, I need you so bad,” you whine out, scooting closer to him as you watch his eyes widen with your unhinged rambling, “I’ve been trying to be good this whole time and distract myself, but it’s so fucking hard because I’ve been wet from just looking at you— Hyun baby, I’m so hmmf—!”

Taehyun is impressed by how easily you’re able to fluster him— he’s sure his ears are completely red as he presses his palm firmly against your mouth, taking in the way you look at him with wide, teary, and fucked out eyes.

He takes a deep breath in order to control the dangerous feeling of desire that flows through him.

Exhaling deeply, he takes a second to look at the clock posted by the headquarters— he feels his body relax with relief as he slowly pulls his hand away from you, giving you a warning look before he gestures at the time.

“Fifteen minutes,” he says, leaning in and muttering the words in his deep, glorious voice, “can you be good for me for another fifteen minutes?”

You think you might die if you don’t take him right now.

“Yeah,” you breathe out shakily, watching as Taehyun laughs at your pathetic state.

“Good,” he says, standing up and getting ready to leave before another lifeguard realizes he’s been talking to you this whole time, “just wait for me, baby.”

You’re a bit dejected as you watch him leave you, back to being his perfect and professional self as he spots abandoned swimming equipment from the rental shop; he can feel your heated gaze on him the entire time, forced to stifle a laugh as he glances back in your direction curiously— you’re shamelessly staring, a pout on your face as you carefully re-tie your top once more.

Please, you think to yourself, choosing to lie back against your towel and clear out your thoughts, your eyes fluttering shut as you take a deep breath, please let these next fifteen minutes pass quickly.

-♡-

Taehyun knows the exact second his fifteen minutes are up— only because you trot up to him like an excited puppy, your beach skirt flowing in the wind as you wave at him excitedly.

“Will you let me clock out at least?” Taehyun asks, letting out an amused laugh as you immediately attach yourself to his side; you give him a quick nod of your head in response, telling him to lead the way as you refuse to leave him anytime soon.

“Missed you so much,” you say, eyes sparkling as Taehyun can only throw his head back and laugh in bewilderment at your comment, “I’m serious! It’s hard to keep my hands off you, Hyunnie.”

“Don’t worry, I feel the same,” he hums, slowing his steps to place a gentle peck on your cheek, “Wait for me? I’ll only be a moment.”

Nodding happily, you tell him you’ll go get him a drink— you know he could use it, taking in his tired steps as he walks back to headquarters with a sigh— turning around, you spot your friends already at the bar, waving you over as you make your way to them happily.

“He’s finally off?” Chaewon asks, watching as you nod with a bright smile on your face, “that��s good. You two can spend some time together now— especially now that the sun is beginning to set.”

“Not that you weren’t already,” Wonyoung teases, watching as you try to defend yourself with useless stutters as she continues to poke fun at you.

“I— can I just get a water?” Giving up on trying to win the argument, you turn back to the same worker from earlier, watching as Jay jumps in surprise the moment your eyes meet his.

“Oh, of course,” he mutters, placing the ice-cold refreshment before he clears his throat, face turning red as he avoids eye contact with you, “you don’t owe me anything, we’re closing soon and the register is already locked.”

Letting out an embarrassed laugh, you can’t help but glance at your friends, feeling your face become hot as they send you sly looks; Jay seems to be just as flustered as you, bowing politely before turning around and resuming his closing tasks— biting your lip, you suppress another laugh, your friends already mouthing things along the lines of I told you so, as you simply push them playfully, looking around to see if Taehyun has come back yet.

“This for me baby?” Taehyun’s hand is warm on your waist as he appears behind you, looking over your shoulder and smiling as you eagerly hand him the water bottle in return.

He’s quick to drink, much thirstier than he realized as he practically begins to gulp it down; he can feel your stare on him the whole time, fighting back a smile as he closes his eyes in an attempt to ignore it.

He looks like a model, you think, watching him fondly with hearts in your eyes; the day hasn’t looked nicer than it does now, the beach almost empty now that the sun has almost set and the weather growing cooler as the waves crash against the shore, the golden rays of the sun practically leave Taehyun glowing. Playfully, he pushes you away, unable to hold back his laugh any longer as he scolds you to stop staring! You can only laugh sheepishly as you try to deny doing so, but you know he’d never believed you from how clingy you’ve been with him all day.

“You’re so sweet Jay,” Taehyun smiles, the said male practically jumping out of his skin at the mention of his name; turning around slowly, he laughs awkwardly, meeting eyes with Taehyun, who snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you closer as he tilts his head teasingly, “for not charging my girl. I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jay stutters, eyes downcast as he feels his face burning from the attention, “figured it was for you, so I didn’t bother ringing it up.”

Taehyun only hums in appreciation at the man’s comment, slightly irritated at the way he’s able to lie through his teeth so easily; turning away from him, he takes the chance to look at you, smiling fondly and leaning in for a chaste kiss that has you melting against him.

“Gross. Get a room you two,” Chaewon scoffs, covering Wonyoung’s eyes playfully as the two tease you endlessly.

“Gladly,” Taehyun smiles mischievously, rolling his eyes at the way your friends gag in response, pulling you against him as you steady yourself with a hand on his chest, “mind if I steal her away from you guys for a bit?”

“Go ahead,” Chaewon says, waving the two of you away with ease, “bring her back in one piece, please.”

I’ll try, is all Taehyun says, pulling you along and laughing at the way you eagerly follow along with one last goodbye to your friends, clueless to the way Taehyun’s jaw ticks with annoyance as he pulls you away from your friends— and right towards headquarters, making his way to the back of the building, secluded by trees and the hill you came from.

“Tae, what’re we doing here—?” Your sentence is briefly cut off with Taehyun’s mouth against yours, the kiss harsh and desperate as you quickly become a mess of spit, moaning weakly against Taehyun’s mouth as he sinks his teeth into your bottom lip.

The string of saliva that connects you two as he pulls away has you whining breathily, steadying yourself with two hands placed firmly on his shoulders as you allow him to corner you, walking backward as his firm hold on your hips forces you to be pressed against the wall.

“You drive me so fucking crazy,” he growls in frustration, attaching his lips right under your ear as he begins to suck— you’re gasping in response, clinging onto him desperately as you already feel your knees become weak. Pulling away from you, his dark gaze meets yours, heated and sharp as he takes in your fucked out state.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to have my pretty girl get flirted with by everyone that lays their eyes on her?” He asks, shifting your hips towards him as he slots his thigh between yours with ease, “to just watch it happen because she’s too much of an airhead to realize what’s happening in front of her?”

The whimper that escapes you from his words is downright embarrassing; but it’s enough to have Taehyun’s lips back on yours, eager to keep you quiet as his fingers begin to play with the strings of your bikini.

If there’s one thing Taehyun is an expert at, it’s pleasing you with every part of his body— which is exactly why he’s able to have you turn into a mess under him in seconds, flexing his thigh and bouncing it as his strong hands force your hips down on him more; he’s controlling your every movement, his grip on you bruising as you wonder if it’ll leave a mark on you later.

“You’re already wet,” Taehyun muses, feeling the way you claw at him uselessly, throwing your head back against the wall as you try to set the pace yourself, only to fail miserably, “barely took anything and you’re already dripping all over me.”

The pleasure becomes overwhelming as Taehyun begins to litter kisses all over you, biting at you softly as he slowly begins to make his way down to your breasts; with a breathy moan, you jut out your chest, the sight making Taehyun let out an airy laugh as his eyes flicker back up to your face to watch your expression carefully.

“Such pretty tits,” Taehyun grins, kissing on top of the fabric as he watches your eyes flutter shut, his eyes flickering back down to the metal that pushes against the thin top, “which ones are you wearing today baby?”

“The ones you got me,” you reply, biting your lip as you open your eyes, clouded with lust as you grind a little harder against Taehyun’s thigh, “the heart ones.”

His warm mouth against your breast is enough to have you letting out a sigh of contentment; a hand immediately threads itself in his hair as you feel his tongue laving over your nipple through the fabric, tracing the jewelry carefully as you jut your chest out to him in response. His hand comes up to slip itself under the fabric of your swimsuit, grabbing your breast and squeezing teasingly before he begins to circle your other nipple.

You feel dizzy, his touch practically everywhere as your eyes flutter shut, trying your best to keep your noises to a minimum as you bite your lip— but it’s useless, especially with the way he’s practically on you, his warm body on yours as you’re able to feel his erection against you.

Whining hopelessly, you let go of his hair, allowing your hand to trail down as you get a good feel of his body— his strong muscles, his abs that flex in anticipation as you begin pawing at his swim shorts.

“Please please please,” you cry, slipping a hand past the barriers and stroking his dick slowly, your hips picking up the pace as you hear him groan lowly into your ear, “please fuck me Hyun, I need you so bad and I’ve been waiting so patiently for you…”

“Have you?” Taehyun asks, relishing in the way your hand struggles to keep a pace, shivering slightly at the way you tighten your grip on him for a second, “because all seen today is the way my little attention whore of a girlfriend can’t survive if my eyes aren’t on her for a second.”

“Did you have fun seeing the way everyone else drooled over you?” He asks, pulling your hand away from him harshly before he’s stepping in between your legs, hooking one of them around his waist before he begins to grind against you, “did you like seeing me jealous, sweet thing?”

“I didn’t mean to,” you gasp, feeling him prod against your entrance as he unties your beach skirt with deft fingers, the cloth fluttering to the ground as he begins to grind against you harder, “I didn’t know—!”

“Oh, you didn’t know?” He mocks, taking pity on you for a second before his gaze is hardening again, “you never know, dumb little thing.”

It’s almost shameful how hard your pussy clenches at his words; you’ve made a mess of your bottom as Taehyun groans, eyes catching the way you’ve left a damp spot already.

“God, you really can’t control yourself, hmm?” He asks, cooing at you softly as he takes in the way you’ve already begun to tear up. The sound of distant voices has him pausing, and you feel as though you’re afraid to breathe as your wide eyes meet Taehyun’s.

“Did Taehyun leave already?” The voice is immediately recognizable as Taehyun narrows his eyes, listening to Yeonjun, one of the other lifeguards on rotation today, talk to someone else.

“Yeah… he left a few minutes ago,” Jay responds, and you can’t help but raise a brow as Taehyun takes a step away from you, about to mouth what are you doing? before he’s sinking to his knees before you, throwing a leg over his shoulder as you can only watch helplessly.

“With that one girl?” Yeonjun asks, your eyes widening as you glance over in the direction the sound comes from; you’re quickly brought to the man in front of you as he begins to litter kisses all over your inner thigh, biting the skin softly as he murmurs eyes on me. Shakily, you nod, letting out a shaky breath as the conversation from the two filters back to you two once more.

“Yeah, you saw her?” Jay says— Taehyun’s nimble fingers are undoing the ties of your bottoms with such ease that you can’t help but gasp as the fabric slips off, your pussy left for display as your boyfriend takes in how needy you are with a satisfied smile.

Taehyun’s tongue is warm and teasing as he circles it over your clit, letting his spit coat you freely before he’s pressing firm kisses against your bud— you're forced to slap a hand over your mouth as he begins to suck on it, his tongue running over the sensitive bud as you feel your thighs shaking around his head; his hair is wet and ticklish as it touches the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, and you’re forced to concentrate in order to not let an embarrassing sound slip from your lips.

“Man, of course I did— she was fucking hot,” Yeonjun’s confession is enough to have Taehyun working harder, fingers prodding at your entrance and eagerly stretching you out as you choke back on a moan— in any other situation, you would be loud enough that Taehyun would have to stop to tease you about it, but the thought of either of them hearing you was much too mortifying as Taehyun began to slowly pump his fingers.

Your body said otherwise, however.

“I saw you give her those drinks for free,” Yeonjun teased, and you listened to the way Jay simply groaned at the reminder; you, on the other hand, were forced to remain quiet, your eyes rolling to the back of your head the moment Taehyun added a third finger, picking up his pace and bringing you closer to your high as you began to rock your hips against his face subconsciously, feeling his tongue beginning to wander as it licked all over your pussy— curling his fingers, you sighed, feeling the way he flattened his tongue against your clit before he began to pump his fingers once more.

“I thought I’d try to make a move on her or something,” Jay confesses, the embarrassed tone to his voice not lost on you as you feel yourself grow hot— your hand presses harder against your mouth as you reach down to thread your fingers through Taehyun’s hair, pulling him closer against your pussy as you subtly try to communicate that you’re close; he seems to get the hint as he does his best to keep his ministrations up, your eyes squeezing shut as their conversation continues to flow into your ears.

“But that was before I knew she was his girl,” Jay says, sighing as Yeonjun replies with an incredulous seriously? “Yeah, you should’ve seen the way he looked at me when he caught on, man. I was scared for my life.”

You’re sure you know how Taehyun was looking at him— at least, if it’s any resemblance to the way he looks at you now, his eyes filled with pure possessiveness and anger that it has you coming undone in seconds, a weak moan escaping through your hand as you squeeze your eyes shut. Taehyun helps you ride out your orgasm diligently, the lewd sounds of his tongue cleaning you up making you flustered as you cover your face in embarrassment.

He’s sucking teasing marks all over your inner thighs once more before he’s standing back up, prying your fingers apart gently as he whispers for you to look at him; your eyes are needy as you blink up at him, and Taehyun swears you’ve never looked more beautiful as you practically glow before him, his eyes darkening at the reminder that you’re all his— his coworkers could only dream of getting close to you, let alone having you in the position he does now.

“My pretty girl,” he sighs out, smiling at the way you throw your arms over his shoulders, bringing him in closer until you’re pulling him in for a tender kiss— it doesn’t last long however, your breathy whines making Taehyun press against your cunt once more, feeling how much wetter it’s gotten as he begins to kiss you senseless.

“My girl,” he repeats, pulling away to trail his kisses down to your neck, beginning to suck carelessly as he feels you reach down to pull his cock out, “all mine. Mine.”

His sudden possessiveness is new to you as you can only remain pliant under him, allowing him to do whatever he wants with you as he finally aligns himself at your entrance; biting your lip, you bury your head in the crook of Taehyun’s neck, squeezing your eyes shut as you feel him tease you— rubbing the head of his cock up and down your slit, feeling the way you clench around nothing as he grinds against you subtly— it’s enough to have you digging your nails into him, whining into his ear that you need more as you feel his tip begin to nudge at your clit; you think you might lose it as you feel his precum drip all over your cunt, your hips shifting toward him involuntarily to try and chase the feeling.

Your mouth is falling open the moment he’s entering you; stretching you out, sliding in inch by inch as he feels your pussy fluttering around him uncontrollably— he can feel the way you’re gasping against his skin, and he’s hooking your leg over his waist once more as he presses you firmly against the wall of the building.

You’re shaking like a leaf against him; whining for more, biting and kissing at his skin absentmindedly as you grind against him, your cunt dripping and sucking him in as the thought of keeping quiet slowly escapes your mind.

It’s enough to have Taehyun tugging you back, pulling on your hair teasingly before he’s planting his hand firmly over your mouth— his eyes never leave yours, the conversation of the two men nearby muddled in your ears as Taehyun begins to move.

It’s slow at first, the grind of his hips against yours allowing his cock to hit deep into you, the wet sounds of your cunt around him making you feel slightly shy before the thought is completely thrown out the window— you could care less of what’s happening around you as he begins to thrust roughly against you, your body rocking from the motion and your eyes threatening to flutter shut as you feel his cock hit against your sweet spot; but you refrain from doing so, much more entranced by his gaze as he slowly begins to pick up the pace, the sounds that come from you getting more difficult to muffle as you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by the pleasure.

The reminder that there are two people that could hear you has you looking over to where they stand, feeling your heartbeat pick up from the anxiety as you eye that direction carefully— you’re quickly snapped back to reality the moment Taehyun is jerking your head back to him gently, tightening his hold on you as his gaze darkens.

“Eyes on me,” he whispers, rolling his hips just the way you like as though to make a point.

Eyes on him. Eyes only on him, you think, struggling to think anything coherent as his hand reaches up to pull your breasts out from your top, the flesh spilling out and beginning to bounce freely from the way Taehyun is fucking you— the heart jewelry that adorns your nipples shine at him, the sight making your boyfriend let out a weak moan as you feel him twitch inside you.

“So lucky to have you,” Taehyun sighs, reaching over to your other leg as he briefly lets go of your mouth— not before taking one of your hands and placing it over your mouth, pressing his hand firmly over your own as he gives you a stern look— and he hoists you up, leaving you completely at his mercy as he begins to bounce you on his cock, the feeling making you slap your other hand over your mouth as you eyes roll back from the pleasure.

“Stupid little airhead, only has eyes for me,” he rambles, laughing quietly to himself before it breaks out into another moan— he’s practically driving you into the wall behind you as he fucks into you roughly, able to set a much faster pace as he watches your tits bounce in his face lewdly, “god, so glad to have you all to myself— you’re perfect, cute little pussy was made for me.”

You clench down on him at that, feeling as though you’re going crazy from the pleasure— that, and the way your boyfriend looks, feeling your nails dig into your cheeks as you take in his messy, wet hair, his tan skin and muscles that flex from using his strength on you, and his face that’s contorted with pleasure as his lips become bruised with how much he’s biting on them— in an effort to keep himself quiet, he hovers over you, placing his head directly next to yours so he can moan and whisper to you freely.

“Wanna cum?” He asks, feeling the way you’re beginning to clench uncontrollably; frantically, you nod, tears beginning to pool in your eyes as you look at him with pure desperation in your eyes.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he grins, knowing that you’re too fucked to even speak correctly, “mine, and only mine.”

You’re trying to choke back on your sounds as you wonder if doing that is even possible— then he slows down, grinding into you and burying his cock as deep as possible as it begins to kiss your cervix— coyly, he leans down, his hair tickling your collarbone as he wraps his mouth around your breast; circling your nipple with his tongue lewdly, covering it in his spit and tracing over the heart-piercing before he’s blowing air on it— you’re shaking from the feeling of him, unsure of how you’ll do what he asks without blowing your cover completely.

“Hyun…” you whine out quietly for him, sniffling as he slows down his pace, almost stilling inside you as he watches fat tears run down your cheeks with cruel eyes, “Hyun, I’m only yours— I only want you, no one else, promise I only think of you, love you so much…”

The way you’re hiccuping from the effort to choke back on your sounds has Taehyun groaning, taking a deep breath in order not to come before he’s pressing his lips firmly against yours— then he’s resuming his pace, watching as you quickly quiet yourself as your body bounces from how hard he’s fucking you.

It’s too much— you’re falling apart the moment he’s bringing a hand over to circle your clit, supporting you against the wall and holding you up with his other arm as he watches you fall apart, his mouth opening in a silent moan as you tighten around him, pleading breathily for him to cum inside as you do so.

“Yeah? Want me to fill you up?” He asks, riding out your orgasm as he buries his head into your neck, “have you dripping with my cum while other people try to flirt with you? Give you a little reminder of who you belong to, fuck…”

With one last harsh thrust, he buries himself deep in you, finally coming undone and filling you up with his hot cum as you moan against your hand— the harsh bite he leaves on the juncture of your neck has you whimpering weakly, hands becoming limp and falling against his chest as he presses the rest of his body against you, holding you up as the two of you pant and try to regain your composure.

“You’re too good to me,” Taehyun finally sighs out, placing soothing kisses over the place he bit you, listening to the way you laugh softly in response. You’re throwing your arms over his neck as one of them moves to his nape, pulling him away from your neck and bringing him in for a sweet kiss— you’re reluctant to part as you speak, unable to hold back from pecking him between your words as you do so.

“You’re too good for me,” you say, pausing to give him a kiss, irresistible as always as he laughs breathily at your words, “you’re always putting up with me.”

“Not your fault you’re irresistible,” Taehyun smiles, watching as you grow shy under his comment despite the fact that he’s still bottomed out inside you, “I still love showing you off.”

“I wanna show you off too, you know,” you pout, hitting his chest gently before you’re pausing, biting your lip uncertainly as you tilt your head, “if you’re okay with that.”

Taehyun realizes quickly what you’re referring to, unable to stop the fond laugh that escapes him as he takes a second to think.

“Sure. I’d like that.”

It takes a second of you celebrating cheerfully to finally sober up and ask Taehyun to put you down— your legs are wobbly as you feel your face grow hot, his cum immediately leaking out of you as you whine in embarrassment for him to not stare— he can only shake his head in amusement at your antics, helping you clean up with the only thing he’s able to find at the moment.

“Wait, that’s my favorite beach skirt,” you whine, not putting up much of a fight as Taehyun kneels before you, your leg thrown over his shoulder as he cleans you up, placing gentle kisses along your inner thighs as he does so.

“I can wash it,” he replies, unable to hide his grimace as he tucks it away in his pocket; the sight is enough to have you giggling, readjusting your swimsuit and fixing your appearance before you’re hiding behind Taehyun, asking him if his coworkers are gone yet.

“The coast is clear,” he hums, scanning the nearly empty beach as he spots your friends sitting by the ocean, chatting idly amongst themselves.

“You don’t think they heard us, right?” You ask, blinking at him innocently as the belief that you did a good job keeping quiet runs through your head— the sight is enough to have Taehyun soften, letting out a sigh before he’s nodding his head.

“Yeah. You were so good for me.”

Taehyun knows better, though— but he doesn’t really mind, because now he knows that he won’t have to worry about either coworker flirting with you the next time you come to the beach.

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n0v4t33z · 16 days

Text

What Would Have Been?

Pairings: Former Assassin Choi San X Assassin Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Assassin AU, One Shot

Word Count: 1.2k

Tags/Warnings: For Mature Audiences, Mentions Death

@newworldnet

Minors Do Not Interact

Author's Note 💌: Hope you guys enjoy this one shot! I couldn't get this scene out of my head so I had to write it! Also, yes some of the terms I used were John Wick references! I've been wanting to work on an assassin au for the longest so depending how things go I may or may not make it a short series idk yet not sure. This isn't edited so I'll fix it later. Again, please be kind! - N 🌙

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It had been years since I last saw San, which was also the last time I worked with him. Back then I had the biggest crush on him, so much so I'd make up any excuse just to talk to him which led to us becoming close. Out of fear for me accidentally ruining our friendship because of my feelings I gaslit myself into isolation, completely disappearing from everyone’s radar including his.

Now years later I'm standing outside of his small taekwondo school hoping he tells me where I can find the Grim Reaper. When I open the door I immediately notice small children no more than 8 years old practicing, they seemed so happy and excited to be there. I quietly look around and immediately see San, he hasn't changed at all. His taekwondo uniform makes his wide shoulders seem even bigger than they are and his black belt definitely made his waist look so small. He was always known to be well proportioned. His dimpled smile being as warm as the sun's embrace causing me to unconsciously swallow hesitantly, is he even going to remember me? Is he going to be upset when he sees me?

Just then while he was helping a student work on his posture I notice a little girl with short hair who runs over to San and let him know that someone has come into his establishment. He scans the room until our eyes meet, a look of visible shock paints his features. I give him a small smile whilst walking in his direction, he leans over and tells his assistant something most likely to keep watch of the class. Once he's done with that he walks up to me, his face lights up the closer he gets “y/n…What brings you here?”

I give him a pained smile “I need to talk to you. It's about the high table.” San’s expression grows dark and leads me to a small office behind the big mirrors the class uses to practice. There was trophies, some medals and a few pictures, it seemed like some of his past students and his family. He's married, with a child. A little girl. My heart sinks into my stomach causing me to let out a silent sigh lowering my gaze onto the floor. There goes My chance. He pulls a chair out for me then proceeds to sit on his side of the desk. “So..” San awkwardly breaks the silence making me glance up at him and meet his eyes, his expression still not fully comprehending it was indeed me in front of him.

“The high table summoned me. The thing is I’m not going to go through with it as they’re insisting I kill Rogue and I’m not going to do that, that man taught me so much as a rookie assassin. He’s like a father to me, the issue is I don’t know where he is. I need to warn him the High Table is going after him.” San clasps his hands together in front of his mouth, elbows resting on the desk whilst his eyes being the only thing visible from my angle. His golden wedding ring glinting in the fluorescent light. He goes on to stay silent for a moment until he finally says “You know i’m not associated with that stuff anymore...”

I understandably nod “I know, I see you’ve got a beautiful family now..” I glance back at the photo of San, his wife and daughter instantly rendering me silent from the huge knot in my throat. I could have had that chance had I not run away from my feelings. San looks back at the photo and looks back at me, his voice lowering “I don’t understand why you came here then.” I tightly hold onto my sleeve trying not to get emotional. I think he hates me now.

“I’m asking you to tell me where I can find the Grim Reaper, he knows where Rogue is…Please, I’m going to end this. I have to, the High Table has marked me an excommunicado. I’m basically marked for death. I’ve got nothing to lose now..” San swallows hard, his gaze turns into a sad one “y/n..” The knot in my throat gets tighter, making breathing extremely hard. So I look at the wall behind San unable to continue looking at him. “Do me that one favor before I die, please?"

We both sit in silence for a few moments until San finally speaks “South side of Seoul… the soup kitchen.” I slowly nod “Okay, thanks..” I get up and walk towards the door, before I’m even able to make it he grabs onto my arm “y/n, wait..” Hesitantly I turn in his direction, tears brimming in my eyes “Yeah?” He lowers his face to meet my eyes “Why did you disappear? Where’d you go?”

I bite the inside of my lip to keep it from quivering and instead tears run down my cheeks “I disappeared because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I'd rather you think I was dead than to come into terms with my feelings.” He gives me a confused blink then the saddened expression grows on him “What do you mean come into terms with your feelings?”

I sniffle and shake my head “It’s not important anymore, you’ve got a happy family now. So pretend I never said anything.” San grabs both my shoulders and squeezes them “Please tell me.. You can’t just drop that on me and not tell me. It’s been years since I’ve seen you..” I squeeze my eyes shut and look down not wanting to meet his eyes anymore, those beautiful brown eyes. At least I can say I saw them one last time before i'm gone. “I can’t, I’m so sorry..” He lifts my chin with his finger “Please.. At least do me this favor before you go. I deserve to know why my friend disappeared.” I hesitantly open my eyes again only to see a worried expression and for a moment I can’t bring myself to say anything out of pure embarrassment because what’s the point? Nothing will change.

“I’m in love with you San. I always have been, I always will be. I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to face my feelings and tell you how I feel, instead I hurt you.” San stares at me for a bit, becoming increasingly embarrassed of the potential rejection I stutter ”I-I’ll get going, again I’m sorry.” I pull away from his grasp leaving a shocked San watching me until he says “You know, I liked you too..” I come to a halt facing away from San, my breath hitches and I cover my mouth to keep me from breaking down into full sobs. I did this to myself, my fear of rejection screwed me over. “y/n?”

He reaches over to rest his hand on my shoulder, his warm hand gently squeezing it trying to comfort me. “Were you afraid that I didn’t feel the same way?” I quietly nod my eyes blurring with tears again. He carefully approaches me and pulls me into a hug gently cradling the back my head. Hesitantly I hug him back, my tears spilling onto his white taekwondo uniform. "I'm sorry I never gave you that reassurance, and that because of me you led a life of loneliness." I bury my face in his chest feeling his other hand gently pat my back.

I stay in his arms for a little bit until I finally pull away and respond “Thank you for everything, I’ll be going now.” San reaches for my hand and holds it tightly "You remember that blood oath we took years ago? Call me if you need me, i'll be there. I promise." The knot in my throat renders me silent again where as I only manage to hum in response. As I walk away a broken woman, I realize how my fears defined my life and took something from me that I yearned for. A loving husband and a small happy family. That fear instead turned me into an on the run excommunicated former assassin who was destined to be alone.

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Please reblog if you liked it! 🔁

If I catch anyone plagiarizing my work just be warned I don't play with that kind of stuff so don't try me.

#ateez angst #ateez imagine #ateez x reader #choi san x reader #ateez fanfiction #park seonghwa x reader #kim hongjoong x reader #kang yeosang x reader #jeong yunho x reader #choi jongho x reader #jung wooyoung x reader #song mingi x reader #assassin au #newworldnet

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potentialguybodyswaps · 1 year

Text

Body Exchange Program Part 1:

It all started with an app service called the Body Exchange Program, or B.E.P. For short

The concept of the app was to make a way for people to experience different types of lives, and it did just that. By swapping 2 peoples body’s

Of course it charged a small fee tho, however nothing too extravagant, just 100 dollars, pretty cheep compared to flying or driving somewhere else in the world for a vacation…

I was your typical skater boi, skinny as fuck, 4pack abs, but faint, really only had them cause I’d be too high to remember to eat, oh did a mention a stoner haha? Vaped, even had a bunch of different colored wristbands I’d wear all the time.

Growing up was kinda boring in my small town, nothing really to do besides skate around town and get High with my friends, which I was perfectly fine with, until I discovered I could have more

When the internet first discovered this app, the world went crazy, and I could see why, a lot of out of pocket swaps that you really wouldn’t think were Consensual like 50 year old bears swapping with 20 year old twinks started happening, really strange when those same duos decided to change from the temporary option to permanent, which both accounts would have to go into there settings and select.

My story starts shortly after I made my account and Input all the typical information you would as if goin on a dating website, with a couple extreme questions for your account, like dick size, kinks, ideal body swap

Account summary:

Tanner:

Age: 18

height: 5’10

weight: 135

Location: Kansas

Penis size: 5.5 inches

Kinks: body swaps (duh?)

Ideal Bodyswap: city boy, college, fit

Interests: smoking pot and skateboarding with friends

End summary.

The next day, when I woke up a received a notification at like 2 AM from someone that was a 100% match… not hard when you have such a short requirement list, wanting to do a 72 hour switch for the weekend

It was from some guy named Kyle with a summary of his account

Kyle:

Age: 21

Height 6’2

Weight: 195

Location:Florida State

Penis size: 8 inches

Kinks: anal, Asian chicks, Bodyswaps

Ideal Bodyswap: country/small town, stoners , people with fun lives

Interests: working out, fucking, drinking

Not seeing a picture or anything I decided to just press accept… I mean after all Kyle fit all my Criteria, bear minimal I could hope for is he isn’t ugly or fat, but since he’s interested in working out, and fucking, he’s gotta be some sort of catch, and boy was I right

The moment I pressed accept a 15 second timer started warning me to prepare myself, so I sat down… but that still didn’t prepare me for what was waiting on the other side

I snapped back to consciousness to me suddenly flexing my muscles in front of a mirror

“Wow I’m a walking cliche” I said outloud, of course a gym rat would be wearing a wife beater and checking himself out in the mirror lol. but I can understand why, I look fucking great. I said to myself while continuing to flex, normally I wouldn’t cause a bag of bones like me had nothing to flex, but now that I do…. Well… you know what they say, when I’m Rome

At that point I started spouting off random shit just to hear myself talked, I found my new deeper voice amusing

After a short time of making poses and just making faces in the mirror taking in my new alpha jock boy look, I receive a messaged from my old account

Tanner(really Kyle): hey bro, thanks for swapping with me, you’re kinda a bit scrawnier than I expected but at 135, idk what I should have expected haha. Anyways like I said thanks, I kinda just want to take a break from the way I party all the time, kinda hard to get and smoke weed around there without getting busted by cops or ratted out on by some of the basic bitches there…

Kyle (really tanner) it’s all good man, ya I really just wanted to get that college experience for a bit, go to some parties myself haha, I’ll be sure to keep up that reputation you clearly have haha. And ya, I know I’m scrawny, hence why I wanted to swap with someone fit, anything I should know about?

Tanner: ya, when you go to a party and the bitches try to get with you, try not to get hard untill it’s time to lay it down, otherwise my dick kinda hurts from being restrained in my pants, and the bulge is very noticeable too when it happens… guess I’m also curious what having a average dick is like, weird that I can’t swing it anymore

Kyle: thanks for the tip

I immediately closed out the app and proceeded to tear my shorts down at the speed of which you’d think someone was about to get assaulted, and they/it was about to get assaulted by my hand

“Jesus Christ” I said shaking to the left and right, I can actively smack myself with my dick, that’s so cool bro…

I started going though his texts, with my hand slowly stroking my new huge rod, untill I found a recent text from some chick that invited me to a party, scrolling up though it I saw her nudes she had sent Kyle before

My semi grew into a full on hard on and at that point I had to use all 8 inches of my glory, right?

After I busted a nut I left the mess on me and sent her a picture of it saying “can’t wait to see you”

When I showed up to the party I was immediately greeted with a budlight platinum, and was surrounded by friends/other party goers who new me

After having 6 beers, shit talkin with the new homies and trying not to blow my cover, that I’m not really Kyle, I finally saw the chick I was texting earlier and once we made eye contact, she made a jerkin motion with her head to the stairs, which she then went up.

Feelin a hardon starting to come, I quickly let my friends know I had to go, and rushed up the stairs, once I broke out of the group I could hear one shout “ya right, your going to fuck Jessica aren’t you!?” I turn around walking backwards and yell “fuck ya bro” as I corrected myself and bolted up the stairs

Once I found what room she was in, she was already naked, bent over, hands tied to the bed post with a ball gag in her mouth, she clearly knew what this guy liked, and not wanting to cause suspicion, I went with it

Climbing onto the bed I dropped my pants and spit onto my dick, sliding it into her ass, i came here to fuck, and fucking the dog shit out of her is what I was gonna do.

After that night I knew I couldn’t give this life up. Drunkenly checking the settings of the app I saw it, the make permanent switch

I clicked it and it sent me a message sayin waiting for the other swapper to agree

No way in hell was he gonna agree to keep my twinky body and lose almost 3 inches… “FUCK how can I make this permanent” I thought to myself

Rereading our messages it hit me, I’m signed in as him, all I have to do is sign into my account and accept, I mean it’s like 3 A.M, no way is he up/received this yet

So that’s what I do, moment I agreed to make permanent, my dick got rock hard at the fact that this is how ima always be now, college city boy, big dick alpha jock, could I have even asked for a better combo!

Next morning I got a message from Kyle from his account, he must have signed into his account since I signed him out of mine

Kyle: aye bro you ready to swap back yet? I kinda got caught smoking pot at the park in your body and got arrested, your other stoner friends bailed me out bro…

Tanner: dam that sucks bro, too bad it’s not a me problem tho

Kyle, how is it not a you problem? I kinda fucked up and I’m sorry bro

Tanner:cause, it’s your body now, the swap is permanent, check the settings

Kyle: …..

Kyle: wtf bro this isn’t what I asked for, I just wanted to smoke some pot and maybe not have such painful erections when my jeans can barely hold my dick for a bit

Tanner: good then bro, glad your happy you got what you wanted, I’m happy too, this body is fucking rad my guy, I don’t know why you’d give it up, I typed gaslighting the fuck out of him

Kyle: idk how you did it, but I know I didn’t agree to a permanent swap, my default setting is temporary and I don’t accept random permanent requests… nor would I send one

Tanner: oh but you did ;)

Kyle: just wait till I contact support, I hope they put you in the body of a fat old man for punishment. Rot in hell asshole

Edit: sorry for another fucking mini Novel basically lol

I’d like to give @tfstation a special thank you for letting me use one of his old story concepts (the concept of BEP, not the actual story, I wrote that) anyways lemme know what y’all think!!!!

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iridessence · 22 days

Note

How are you so confident? Your pics give the the "I'M FABULOUS AND I KNOW IT" vibe without being fake... you know... a lot of times in pics you can see who is fake confident even of they try to fake it well.

You're GLOWING and you give this great positive vibe.

How did you achieve this? I'm asking this because I'm not confident at all. At home when I'm alone I can be confident but as soon as I go out I stop being confident. At home in my mirror I look ok, average but ok. When I see my reflection outside I'm horrified by my looks and I look like the ugliest person on the planet.

When I talk people usually don't understand me well due being so stressed sometimes I talk too fast or too quiet and they're like "what???"

I think talking too fast comes because people usually interrupt me. I'm introvert and people have always talked over me since I was a kid. So I feel like I need to get it all out before I get interrupted

Other times I don't speak too fast or too quiet but words just can't come out and I struggle to even form a sentence. For 5, 10, 15 seconds I would struggle to find the right words. And when you talk to a boss or a co-worker those 5, 10, 15 seconds last sooooo long that it seems to me like I have been quiet for 10 minutes.

I also cry quickly and I struggle with this. I can't top myself and it's very unprofessional to cry in front of my boss or co-workers that later on make fun of me even more.

Can I become more confident myself?

Or do I need a shrink for my problems (or psychiatrist english is not my first language so idk which word to use)

When I see confident women like you I'm like I CAN DO IT... but this "I can do it" just lasts till I don't step out of my apartment.

Hi, thank you for reaching out. Identifying your issue and seeking help is a very important step, so you’re already on the path! Some of what you asked is addressed in my pinned post, but I have some other thoughts.

These are tough things to deal with and work on – there are so many factors that contribute to struggling and it sounds like you deal with anxiety. It might not be to the same extent, but I struggle with that as well. Something that helped me was reframing confidence and related issues under its umbrella: it’s a muscle, which means it will take time to build but it can be built. And some people have muscles that are naturally suited towards certain things while others might have to work really hard at it; you may be in the latter category but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible!

Therapy certainly helps, but one of the other big things is trying to find community and surround yourself with people who support your personal goals and for whom you can do the same. People that say “hell yeah, wear/do/say the thing!” This may seem hard and counterintuitive to achieve for a person with anxiety, but even online community can be a huge help. Finding those people who have similar interests who are kind and supportive can help you to build confidence before branching out to locals as well. Soon you’ll find your people

Location makes a huge difference too. I definitely dressed up quite a bit in Chicago where I’m from but I felt sometimes like an alien on the street with how some people received me. Moving to New Orleans, when I’m dressed up it’s just Wednesday. Sure, I turn heads and people take pictures and often people inquire about or comment on my style, but still there’s a sense of creativity and letting your freak flag fly in this city that really feels liberating. But sadly relocating is a huge to-do.

Leaning into what you love is super important— making sure that what you do/say/wear is ultimately for YOUR enjoyment is a key foundation to build on.

One of the great things you’re doing great already is looking at yourself in the mirror. You’ve gotta do it every day. Try talking to yourself in the mirror too, practicing ways you might introduce yourself, etc. These are all different ways you can exercise that muscle so that it doesn’t feel so strange when you’re out in social interactions.

The biggest thing with all of these is just time and taking steps to care for your mental health and growth. It’s hard but it’s worth it, and I wish you the best of luck!

#anon ask #text post

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freshlove-sturn · 5 months

Note

i know i JUST sent a request but if you don't like that one, maybe you could write one where chris and the reader are just friends and there's one day when chris is in a bad mood bc the triplets and the reader had planned to go out, but the reader gets her period and can't go, so chris is just being bitchy towards everyone and matt tells nick "it's probably bc his girlfriend isn't here" and chris debies it; then maybe it gets chris thinking about how much better his day would be is the reader was actually his girlfriend so he could comfort her while she's on her period ? and maybe that motivates him to ask her out ? idk

i hate that i said something so specific, you could take the idea and make it your own if you prefer ! thank you 🩷 :)

philia

part 1 part 2

philia (greek)- affectionate love. a type of love that involves friendship. this is the kind of live that friends have for each other. greek philosopher, plato, beloved that philia was stronger than the love that is eros (physical/ sexual desire, passion, lust, and/or romance. the kind of live couples have for each other) he believed that relationships built off of philia and eventually leading to eros were the strongest. friends to lovers.

a/n: i took this request and did my own little spin on it. i hope you like it!! i didn’t really proofread so there’s probably some errors in there, i had to copy and paste this whole thing from screenshots in my camera roll 😭 anyways… enjoy!!

chris pov

i’ve been stressed out all week. between filming and my brand, it’s been getting harder and harder to find time for myself. i’m in dire need of some sort of distraction. i need to get my mind off of everything going on. and in all honesty, there was only one person that could make that possible. y/n.

i’ve been best friends with y/n for as long as i can remember. our moms are best friends, so we’ve known each other since diapers. we have been practically attached at the hip since we could walk. she has always been my person. wanted to get away from my brothers for a bit? i’m texting her to hang out. needed to vent? she’s all ears. advice on an outfit? i��m spending 10 minutes in the mirror trying to take the perfect picture to send to her. hockey or lacrosse game? she’s there cheering me on in the front row wearing my jersey number. she has always been there for me.

today my brothers, myself, and y/n had all planned on hanging out. its our second day back in boston after a month of being in la. we’ve had this planned since the day y/n dropped us off at the airport before we flew back to la. i’ve really been looking forward to it. i haven’t seen y/n in so long. the transition from seeing her everyday to going weeks on end without hearing her laugh, smelling the sweet smell of her perfume that i could never get enough of, and overall just the lack of her presence has been much harder than i’m willing to admit.

my alarm goes off at 8 am. i wanted to make sure i had plenty of time to get ready for today. i groggily reach over to my night stand, my face still buried in my pillows, feeling around for my phone to shut off the blaring sound of my alarm. i finally feel the cool glass of the screen. i pick it up and bring it closer to my face, squinting my eyes at the sudden gleam of brightness beaming from my phone. after i hit stop on my alarm, i notice a text from y\n.

i know its not her fault. she has no control over that. but couldn’t help but feel a wave of disappointment crash over my chest. this was the one thing i had been looking forward to doing for all of a month and now the one person who was going to make it worth while won’t even be there? great. just my luck. i stick my tongue in my cheek and begin typing a response. careful not to come across as upset. i didn’t want her to feel bad. my reliance on her isn’t her problem and i couldn’t make her feel like it was.

i roll out of bed and throw on a white t-shirt i had taken off the night before and thrown at the end of my bed. i walk downstairs into the kitchen, opening up the cabinet to grab a cup before slamming it shut.

“what is your deal?” nick asks, who was already sitting at the island in the middle of our kitchen, scrolling on his phone. his brows furrowed with a confused yet annoyed look plastered on his face.

“nothing” i mumble. avoiding eye contact and opening up the fridge. pouring myself a glass of water from the brita.

nick rolls his eyes at my blunt response. not even bothering to entertain the situation further.

“do you know when y/n is coming over or are we just gonna pick her up on our way to the movie?” he asks, changing the subject. unbeknownst to him that his question rubbed salt right in the wound.

“she’s not coming” i reply.

“oh. why not? is she okay?”

“she doesn’t feel good.” i bemoan. “she said she might come around tomorrow”

“aw” nick frowns sympathetically. “i hope she starts feeling better. that sucks.”

“yup” i concluded the conversation. not wanting to talk about it anymore. the more i thought about it the more upset i became.

soon matt comes down the stairs. nick informs him of the situation. he responds with the same soon matt comes down the stairs. nick informs him of the situation. he responds with the same nonchalant 'oh i hope she feels better response that nick had. the same one i'm sure anyone would have. anyone who didn't need her to function that is. i wish i didn't care so much. i didn't know why i did. it's like the betrayed feeling of when your friends texts you and tells you that they won't be at school. except it was ten times worse. growing up it had always been no y/n, no chris. we were like a package deal. invited to a party? only if y/n also got an invite. vacations? i was begging my parents to let her come with us. she is my rock.

when it comes time to leave for the movie, i practically have to drag myself out of the door. i open up the door to the van, get in, and slam it shut.

"dude what is your problem?" matt looks over at me from the drivers seat.

"he's been in a pissy mood all day long. its getting on my nerves nick interjects from the backseat.

“im just tired. we were on a plane all day yesterday and i couldn't sleep" i defend. lying through my teeth. i knew my brothers knew it too.

"you sure it has nothing to do with y/n not being able to make it today?" matt questions.

" don't care that she can't come." i lie. again.

"yeah right" nick scoffs. i look back at him and roll my eyes. he returns the action.

we arrive at the theater and buy our tickets. we get popcorn and soda and find our seats. matt and nick discuss what movies they wanted to see next as the previews play on the big screen in front of us. i say nothing. i just sit there and scroll on my phone. y/n hasn't texted me all day. i knew it was because she wasn't feeling well and she was probably just sleeping. but i couldn't help but feel a shot of jealousy coursing through my body.

"chris get off your phone the movie is starting." nick pushes my phone down.

i could hardly even pay attention to what was happening in the movie. my brain was taken over by the thought of y/n. why can't i stop thinking about her? sure she's my best friend and i thought about her enough as is, but something felt different today. i've never felt like this before. it felt like a brick was stacked on top of my heart. another being added each time i saw something that reminded me of her. anytime her name even crossed my mind, which, was going on about 5 times per second it felt like. it was suffocating. i don't know why i'm feeling like this. i didn't want to know, if i'm being honest. it scared me. more than i’m even willing to admit.

the movie ends and we all get up from our seats. the lights slowly become brighter. the crunch of popcorn under peoples feet as the stepped filled the air.

after we get home, i don't feel like talking. matt and nick were both sitting around at the island in our kitchen, discussing the movie. i head straight for the stairs.

"someone's upset they couldn't see their girlfriend today" nick jokes.

"she's not my fucking girlfriend. i don't care that i

couldn't see her today. i really don't. my life doesn’t revolve around y/n. you guys are being ridiculous." i argue. girlfriend. the word hit me straight in the gut.

"she may not be your girlfriend sure but you wish she was” matt interrupts. there it is again. that feeling. that feeling i wanted to stop being corrupted with. the feeling i couldn't pin down. the feeling of her.

"you're insane” i hiss. turning my back and going up the the stairs and into my bedroom.

i slam the door shut behind me and lay down on my bed. staring at the ceiling. i just wanted to sleep. i didn't want to think about it anymore. but i couldn't.

girlfriend. the thought of y/n being my girlfriend almost suppressed the gut wrenching feeling that was still brewing in my chest. it's like it was almost satisfied. like i almost had it all figured out.

the more i sat in silence, the more my mind overtook me. the more y/n had flooded everything i had inside of me.

just as my eyes grew heavy, and my thoughts began to slow. it hit me.

im in love with my best friend.

i sat straight up in my bed. i check my phone. 2 am.

unlike hours before, this was the first time i wasn't thinking. i race down the stairs and put my shoes on. y/n only lived just down the street. i could get there in less than three minutes. i open the door, the cold butter air instantly hitting me. i didn't care though. i step out and make a bee line to y/ n's house.

her room was on the second story. when we were 12, we hid a ladder underneath her deck. for years i would use it to sneak up to her room late at night just to hang out. i pull out the ladder from underneath her porch. careful not to make too much ruckus, in fear that i would wake up her parents. i set up the ladder right in line with her window in 10 seconds tops. i knew this like the back of my hand. i climbed up the ladder and tapped on her window.

readers pov

a gentle tapping on my window pulls my eyes away from my book. it didn't scare me. i knew it was chris. only chris knew how to get up here. only chris knew our secret knock pattern that we came up with all those years ago. but at 2am? in the freezing cold? what did he want? he hadn't even texted me letting me know he was coming. weird.

i threw my legs over the side of my bed and make my way to my window. i pull my curtains aside, unlock the window, and let him in.

"chris what are you doing here? it's 2 am and freezing outside." i question and he steps over the window sill and into my bedroom.

"y/n im in love with you" he breathes heavily. his blue eyes looking down at me with desperation. i felt my heart sink.

"w-what?" i ask. i couldn't believe what i was hearing.

“im in love with you. so undeniably, inevitability, embarrassingly in love with you. i think i always have. just haven't really known what it was j was feeling until now. i love the way you laugh. the way your smile lights up every room you walk into. how kind you are to everyone, even when they don't deserve it. i love the way-“ he rambles and i cut him off.

“chris-“ he doesn't stop talking.

“-i love the way you do your hair. i love the color of your eyes. i love how you dress. i love-" i cut him off again.

"chris!" i raise my voice louder this time. needing his attention.

he stops talking and looks at me. waiting for me to speak.

i take a deep breath.

"i have a boyfriend.”

to be continued...

a/n: I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS. WOOHOO. again, lemme know if you want to be on my taglist!!

taglist: @chrissturnioloswifesblog @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @pepsiimaxx

#chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo triplets x reader #chrissturnioloxreader #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #space camp #cut the camera podcast #nathan doe #fresh love

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awalkonthelightside · 7 months

Note

hello! you don't have to respond to this, but I just wanted to thank you for your work. it's so positive and beautiful.

and on a more personal side, it's really helped me. you've helped normalize masculine sensuality for me. I mean, I followed you initially because your pictures were pretty, but more recently (with a lot of other work going on in the background lol) I've been able to see myself in them. as a trans guy, idk if you realize how incredibly affirming that is.

anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I've really appreciated your work and I'm really glad I found your blog. I took a picture of myself this morning and I don't think I'd be able to love it like I do if I hadn't. 🥰

I will never not reply to such a lovely ask as firstly...thank you! But it also gives me an excuse to repeat myself a little, so sorry for hijacking your ask.

As always I can only ever give my perspective from my own lived in experience of the world as a (relatively) normal, approaching middle aged man of what I hope are universal issues regardless of age or gender. I have my own struggles with how I look when I compare myself to the image of idealised masculinity online. But at the same time I have the perspective of knowing that the pictures you see of me are still idealised, well lit and carefully posed from certain angles and don't really match what I see in the mirror either. I do genuinely think that most people aren't as different physically than we might think regardless of gender. But a lot of the differences are exaggerated by societies expectations about how we hold ourselves.

I always hope that people are able to take this into account when viewing my images. I'm not trying to be anything or make any statement about myself other than Im hoping people can see beauty in a "normal" way that I hope everyone can relate to.

#asks

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lukall705 · 4 months

Text

Young love chapter 3

https://www.tumblr.com/lukall705/739528729734299648/young-love-chapter-1?source=share Chapter one

https://www.tumblr.com/lukall705/740076676409622529/young-love-chapter-2?source=share chapter two

TW? idk

______________________________________________________________

Sigma POV:

Me and Y/N are walking to the shopping center near our campus. "so what your favorite colour?" i ask them "oh its F/C and F/C" they say and smile at me "whats your favorite colour?" they ask me. "my favorite colour is purple" i say. "i have to say i really like your outfit" i say and they blush a bit "o-oh th-thank you.. i'm not used to people complementing my outfits" they say and look a bit embarrassed. "sorry if i start stuttering, it happens when i'm nervous" they laugh awkwardly. "oh no its okay, i also stutter sometimes when i'm nervous" i try to reassure them.

We both keep chatting until we get to the mall "Lets go to hot topic!" Y/N says happily "Hot topic? you don't seem like someone who would shop there?" i say and it seems like Y/N wants to say something but doesn't. I wonder what they were gonna say.

As we walk in is see Y/N going over to some pretty revealing clothes. "y-you wear this type of clothes..? a-aren't they a bit.. revealing..?" i ask them "i'd rather be slut then basic" they say while pulling out a shirt that says 'cum slut'. "oh.." i chuckle nervelessly. "should i get this one?" they ask "..i mean if you want to.." "oh! I've been looking for a shirt like this" Y/N says and shows me a shirt with hand prints on the chest "there's matching pants for it too!" they say. 'we've been friends for like an hour and they are already this comfortable around me?' i think 'well at least they are having fun, right? thats the only thing that maters'

"also i forgot to ask but what country are you from?" i ask them. They look at me before answering "Finland, i'm Finnish"(or whatever country your from) They keep looking at stuff in the store.

A few hours later: (still sigma's POV)

As we both walk up the stairs Y/N starts talking "I'm sorry you have to carry my stuff" They look embarrassed "it's really no problem, i'm glad i could help" i smile at them while they open the door to their dorm.

"take off your shoes please" they say and i take of my shoes "my room is right over there" they point at a door.

"oh, Y/N you're back" i hear a voice say. I look over to the couch and see Dazai and Chuuya cuddling while watching some movie. Y/N just ignores them both and walks over to their room. "hey Sigma!" Dazai waves to me and i wave back awkwardly.

"Just put the bags over there" Y/N points to a corner in their room. "wow, your room looks nice" i say and look around "thanks" they say. I spot some drawings on their desk "did you make these yourself? they look really nice" "oh, yeah i did and thanks" they smile "your quite good at drawing clothes, you know. you could become a clothing designer one day" as i say this is see Y/N's smile get wider.

Y/N pulls out a picture book from a backpack. "hm? whats that?" i ask them "its a photo book, sometimes i do small modeling shoots for fun" they say and give me the book "wanna see?" they ask "yeah" i say and open the book.

"i'll go change while you look through it" Y/N says and goes into the bathroom. 'wow these look really nice' i say while looking through the pages. suddenly some photos catch my eye. its pictures of Y/N with different colored hand prints all over their body. 'oh' i think.

Y/N's POV:(TW?)

I'm standing in front of my bathroom mirror looking at my arms with the words 'i'm so disgusting' repeating over and over in my mind. 'why am i this disgusting?' 'its no wonder my past boyfriends left me' 'i fucking hate myself' 'i should just die' 'i bet Sigma is just pretending to be my friend so he can leave like everyone else did' 'i'm so fucking fa-' my thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my bathroom door.

"are you okay in there Y/N?" Sigma asks from outside "you've been in there for 15 minutes" he adds '15 minutes?' "i'm fine! i'm coming out in a second" i say and quickly wrap bandages that are the same colour as my skin around my arms to hide the scars.

I see Sigma looking at the bandages but doesn't say anything about them. "I need to go back to my dorm now, its getting kinda late and i don't want Nikolai to lock me out again" Sigma says and scratches the back of his head. "oh thats fine" i smile and i walk him to the door.

"see you in class tomorrow" i say "yeah" he smiles and i hug him. "bye" he says as he walks out the door and runs over to his door.

When i turn around i almost scream as i see Dazai and Chuuya standing right behind me. 'HOLY SHIT' i think as they both stare at me. "w-what are you two doing?" i ask nervously. "Is he your boyfriend?" Chuuya asks and looks at me suspiciously "what!? No! we're just friends!" i say "yeah, sureee. just friends" Dazai says in teasing voice "we're not dating!" "okay okay, clam down" Dazai says.

"also, whats with the bandages?" Chuuyas asks me and i freeze up 'fuck' "none of your business!" I yell and they both look shocked that i yelled at them. "sorry" "its okay, i shouldn't have asked" Chuuyas says.

all three of us stand there in awkward silence. "so.. you wanna watch a movie or something with us?" Dazai asks "yeah sure" i say wanting this awkward silence to just end already. The three of us make our way over to the couch and i sit in the corner of the couch a bit away from them. "what should we watch?" Chuuya asks "a horror movie" i say "Yeah, but what movie" He says. "Terrifier " I smirk "okay" Chuuya says while putting on the Movie and getting comfortable under a blanket with Dazai.

"I would love to be tied up like that by Chuuya~" Dazai says as we get to the scene where Art tied a naked woman upside down. "i think you should watch the whole scene before saying something like that" i say while drinking water "what do you me-" i watch as the colour drains from Dazai's and Chuuya's face when Art starts to cut the woman's body in half from her crotch.

"Art is so baby girl! he did nothing wrong! hes just a silly clown!" i say after the movie is done "WHAT!? HE JUST KILLED 9 PEOPLE!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HES SO BABY GIRL"!? ARE YOU CRAZY!?" Chuuya looks at me like i just killed someone. "Crazy!? no! i just think Art is hot! hes so dreamy!" i say "You're even worse then Dazai!" Chuuya yells "huh?! what do you mean by that?!" I yell in a surprised voice.

"I MEAN THAT YOU ARE MORE OF A DISGUSTING FREAK THEN DAZAI"

When i heard his words i completely freeze up 'they think i'm a freak?' the words hurt me more then i let show. the words ring in my ears 'i'm a freak' 'I'M A FREAK!?' it feels like time stopped and i have no idea how long i sat there not saying anything 'do they not like me!? do they not wanna be my friends anymore!?' its all my fault' 'why am i like this!?' 'i hate myself' my thoughts are interrupted by Chuuya.

"Are you okay Y/N..? you look a bit pale.." he says and both him and Dazai look at me worriedly. Chuuya waves his hand in front of my face "hello? you've been sitting there for 15 minutes, are you okay?" he asks worriedly "uh.. yeah, i just don't feel well, i'll go to bed.." i say and get up from the couch. Dazai and Chuuya both look at each other "i think you might have hurt their feelings.." i hear Dazai say to Chuuya while i'm getting myself some water. 'did he really mean what he said..?' i think before going to my room.

After getting ready for bed i check the time. '00:26am'. i see Sigma sent me a message 'Goodnight Y/N, i think Nikolai and Fyodor are gonna stay up again so i hope they don't keep you up and if they do just tell me and i'll them to be more quiet:)' i smile a bit while reading it. 'goodnight' i send back and put my phone on my bedside table.

A few hours later i wake up and check the time on my phone '4:23am'. i'm feeling like absolute shit right now, it feels like there are hundreds of thoughts running through my head right now. And for some reason they are all of my negative thoughts. i feel tears start to form in my eyes

'why am i so useless?'

I think to myself.

'Why can't i control how i feel? why are my emotions such a pain in the ass?' i start to silently cry into my pillow hoping that i don't wake up Chuuya and Dazai who are sleeping in the room next to me. 'What's the point of going on if everyone thinks i'm a freak?' my tears start to stain the pillow under me.

~(Flashback)~

"You're just a stupid freak!" My mother says. "You're a good for nothing child!" My mom yells again "you should just die for all care!" i had just tolled my mom about my problems. the disgusting things i feel. I wanna cry right now but no tears are coming out.. i just feel ..empty.. i feel nothing as my mom yells at me for how much of a freak and how disgusting i am.

~(end of flashback)~

"i think i need to go out and get some fresh air.." i say to myself while getting up from my bed and putting on some clothes.

I walk through the dorm as quietly as i can so i don't wake up Dazai and Chuuya. i put on my shoes and walk out into the hallway. I see that its still a bit dark out side through the window at the end of the hallway.

As i walk up a set of stairs to the roof of the building i start thinking about my life. 'I don't see any point in living anymore, everyone in my life thinks i'm a freak' i think.

When i open the door to the roof i feel a cold breeze hit my face. It feel quite refreshing actually. i walk over to the fance near the edge of the building and climb over it. 'i think this is where i'll end this life of mine..'

I pick up my phone and bring it to my ear. "..hello..?" i hear Sigma's tired voice say on the other end of the phone. "..Are Nikolai and Fyodor making to much noise? i can go tell them to quiet dow-" "no need to" "..huh..? why..?" "they aren't the thing keeping me up" "..okay.:" i hear Sigma yawn "..where are you right now Y/N..? i can hear the wind" "i'm sitting on my bed with window open" i lie "oh okay.." i can hear that hes really sleepy.

"so.. why did you call me..?" he asks "i just wanted to say that i'm not feeling to well so i might not make it to school tomorrow" i lie again "..oh okay.." "goodnight Sigma" "Goodnight Y/N.." As i hang up the phone i feel rain drops hit my face, "do i even want this..?" i ask myself as i close my eyes preparing to fall.

"Don't do it" I hear a deep voice say from behind me. I turn around and see a man in his late fourties to early fifties with white long hair standing under an umbrella. "but what's the point of going on..?" i say in a broken voice "There's nothing left for me to live for..." i feel tears start to form in my eyes again.

"it may feel like that right now, but it does get better. this isn't the right choice" he says while looking me in the eyes. "..why should i believe that..?" tears start to run down my cheeks "..when everyone sees me as a freak.." i start remembering all the times my mother called me a disgusting freak. "whats your name?" he asks "..huh..? its Y/N.." i say "its nice to meet you Y/N, my name is Fukuzawa" the man says.

"Now tell me Y/N, are you sure you want to do this or is it because you feel like you deserve this?" he asks and i stay quiet. i have no idea how to answer him, i don't even really know myself.

'is this really what i want?' i think as my tears blur my vision.

I feel the rain soaking my clothes and hair as i cry. And after a few minutes i climb back over the fence. I see Fukuzawa opening his arms and i hug him. its the first time in forever i feel comforted by someone. Fukuzawa rubs my back as i cry and suddenly i'm a 6 year old crying into my mothers chest, but this time i'm actually getting comforted and not yelled at.

Fukuzawa stays still until i'm done crying, he stands there listening to me vent about my problems not saying a word.

"..Please don't tell anyone about this.." i say while whipping my tears away. "i won't, now i think you should go back to your dorm and get some rest, you have school tomorrow" he says and pets my head.

We both walk back down the stairs in silences until i ask "how did you know i was up there..?" i look at him waiting for an answer. "i happened to be walking to the roof to enjoy some fresh air and saw you" he answers. "oh.."

When i get to my dorm i open the door "goodnight Mr. Fukuzawa.." i say and he nods. i close the door when i see him starting to walk away. I quietly walk back to my room hoping Dazai and Chuuya aren't awake.

When i sit down on my bed i check the time '4:56am' i yawn as i put my phone down on my bedside table again and lay down in bed.(after taking of your wet clothes ofc)

As i lay there i start to think about what would have happened if Fukuzawa didn't stop me. Would i be dead? would be suffering in pain just wanting to die? would i have changed my mind? all of these thoughts are flooding my mind until i eventually fall asleep.

The next morning i wake up with a pretty bad headache and groan when i get up from the bed "jeez.. i don't feel like going to school today at all.." i say while going into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

After brushing my teeth i put on my uniform.

(You can chose which ever one you like. also ik that most colleges in japan don't have uniforms but just pretend this college has them)

As i look at myself in the mirror i see my chubby belly '....' its one of the things i hate about myself but can't get rid of no mater how much starve myself.

I pick up my bag and walk out of my room and see Chuuya and Dazai standing in the kitchen talking about something. I walk over to the coffee machine to make coffee and notice that Chuuya has a guilty look on his face. "Good morning Y/N!" Dazai says in a happy voice "hm.." i hum in response as i drink my coffee hoping it would keep me awake.

"Did you sleep well last night?" he asks and i nod "oh yeah, also the principal asked me to give you this, its your class schedule" he says while handing me a piece of paper "thanks" i say while looking over it 'Okay so i have P.E first then math, then social studies, then lunch, then English, then music, then science'

"P.E at like 7:30 in the morning on a Monday?" i look at them both 'thats gonna be hell and i only got like 3 hours of sleep' "P.E is your first class? You must be really unlucky, Mr. Fukuchi makes all of his students run like 23 miles if you have him in your first class" Chuuya says 'yay how lucky i am' i have a bitter look on my face.

"whats your first classes?" i ask them "we both have social studies as our first class" Chuuya says 'Lucky motherfuckers' i check the time on my phone and see its 7:24 am "i think we should get going its already 7:24" i say and they nod.

As the three of us run so we won't be late for class i suddenly remember something "wait! i don't know where the P.E area is!" i yell "you have to go to the back of the school to the changing rooms!" Chuuya yells to me as he and Dazai run into another hallway to get to class.

When i get to the back of the school i start panting and see the other students already ready for P.E "You're late" i here a man say "Sorry! its my first day here! i had no idea where i had to go!" i look up at him and i see him glaring me down. i gulp

"Fine since its your first day i'll let it slide" he says while playing with his mustache "huh" i look dumbfounded "Now go change into your P.E clothes before i change my mind" he says "Yes sir!" i say and run into the changing rooms. "and the rest of you start running!" he yells at the other students.

"How the hell does this even count as shorts?! these are basically panties!?" i say to myself as i walk out of the changing rooms. (TW? for what comes next)

When i start running i feel some people looking at me. When i look around me i see a lot of other girls who are much skinnier then me looking and pointing at me while giggling. 'why do i have to be so fat..?' i hate it here this was supposed to be a new start for me but its almost just like the life i had back home. i feel like i want to cry.

"Jeez, just let them be alone! what did they do to you?" i hear a young woman's voice say. i look at where the voice is coming from and i see a pretty woman with short black hair and a butterfly clip in it.

"oh, wait i get it! you guys are jealous that they look better then you!" She says and smirks at them "What!? no!" one of the girls say and look pissed "then what is it?" the black haired woman says "its.. its umm.." the girl can't give good reason as to why they back talked me and leaves with her friends.

"are you alright?" the black hair woman asks me "y-yeah.." i smile at her "Yasano" she says "Y/N" i say back and she shakes my hand.

The rest of P.E is spent by me and Yasano doing the run and chatting.

After i come out of the changing room after changing back into my uniform, i start to look for my math class. while walking i accidentally bump into someone "ah, sorry!" i say to them. The person i bumped into just glares at me not saying a single word "s-sorry.." i say in an embarrassed voice. i quickly rush away from embarrassment. i keep running in the hallway until i see a familiar face "Sigma!" i yell and he turns around. (i almost had a fucking stroke trying to write familiar)

"Y/N! so you did make it to school, i was worried since you didn't answer my massages" he smiles at me "oh, i think i was just feeling like shit because of the lack of sleep last night" i lie. "also do you know where room xoxo is?" i ask him "Oh i was just about to head over there right now since i also have math class" he says and we start walking.

After math, me and Sigma go to the cafeteria to eat lunch. after getting our food we go to sit down at a table with Nikolai and Fyodor.

(This is the lunch:3) "This looks so good!" i say. "I've been waiting for this the whole day!" i say. While i start to eat i see Nikolai is nagging Fyodor again. "No Nikolai, we can't get a 3rd rat" he says in his heavy Russian accent. "oh yeah, i never got to ask, but are you Russian?" i ask Fyodor "sorry if that sound stupid or rude" "You are right, i am Russian" he says and gives me a gentle smile.

Dazai POV:

The both of us sit down at a table with Atsushi and Akutagawa after getting our food. While eating our food me and Chuuya see that Y/N is eating with Nikolai, Fyodor and Sigma, adn it looks like they are having a lot of fun. I see Chuuya glaring at them. I know how much he wants to say that hes sorry to Y/N but he doesn't have the balls to do it in front of other people.

While watching them i see Y/N smiling and laughing, 'they look kinda cute while they are happy..' i think. i feel a bit annoyed that Y/N is hanging out with them and not us 'wait.. am.. am i jealous..?' Seeing Y/N so happy kinda makes me happy too..

I notice how angry Chuuya looks "hey, Chuuya~ what class do you have after this?~" i ask "Math why?" he looks at me a bit calmer now. "oh i was thinking~ maybe we skip class to, you know~" i say with a smirk and Chuuya blushes a bit. Chuuya sends me a message 'fine, but only because i have to relieve stress ' i smile and text back 'okay babe'

After lunch the both of us sneak away into a bathroom. I pin Chuuya to the bathroom wall as we make out "Fuck i love you so much..~" i whisper into his ear as i pull down his pants. i bend him over the sink "be a good boy and try to not make to much noise, okay?~" i whisper in his ear and he nods. "j-just start already.." he moans out. "fine~" i say as i pull down my pants. i slowly push my hard cock into his hole "a-ah~" Chuuya moans into his hand. "you.. you can move now..~" he pants out as i start thrusting. "ah~ D-dazai~ please faster~" Chuuya begs and i start moving faster. "Ah!~ Ah~" Chuuya moans as he grips the sink "what's wrong baby?~ is it to much for you?~" i say as i take his cock into my hands and start rubbing his sensitive tip "Ah!~ dazai~ please let me cum!~" Chuuya has tears in his eyes from the overestimation. i bite the back of his neck "not yet pretty boy~" i can feel myself getting closer to cumming. I put my hand over Chuuyas mouth and pull his head back by his hair as he whimpers "you wanna cum pretty boy?~" i tease him. "Mhm!~ Mhm!~" he nods with pretty tears falling from his eyes.

"Cum then~" i whisper into his ear and flip him onto his back. "Come on baby~" i say as i thrust faster and pump his pretty cock. After a few seconds he cums all over his belly. "AH!~" Chuuya moans as he cums. i pull out of him and pump my cock until i cum on his belly to "ngh~" i groan as i cum.

I kiss his tears away "you did so well.."

Y/N POV:

When i get to my music class i only see one face i recognizance. 'thank god!' i think as i walk up to Nikolai. "I'm so happy that i at least know one person from this class" "Y/N! I'm so happy that one of my friends is in this class!" he says and hugs me tightly.

While me and Nikolai hug i see Dazai and Chuuya walk into the room, and Chuuya's legs seem to be shaking a bit?

I see Chuuya looking a bit annoyed when he sees Nikolai hugging me 'whats his deal?'

When the teacher comes in she start explaining that we have to dance a dance, and to get a partner. "Y/N! be my partner!" Nikolai whines "i was just about to ask you to be mine.." i chuckle.

After school is over i walk back to my dorm. (i'm to lazy to write what happens for the rest of the school day so just use you imagination)

When i get back to the dorm i plop onto the couch "man.. this day was hell and its only the first day.." while laying on the couch thinking about what i should do i hear the door open. I see Chuuya and Dazai walk in.

I get up from the couch to get myself some water. after getting my water i try to go to my room but Dazai grabs my hand to stop me "..Y/N.. Chuuya has something to say to you.." he says. "okay.. go on.." i say and stand face to face with him.

We both stand there for a few minutes in silence while Chuuya avoids eye contact. "..Y/N i'm sorry for calling you disgusting freak.." he says while scratching the back of his head. 'for some reason it doesn't seem sincere..' i stand there for a while before speaking "i'll forgive you.." i say and look down. "i hope we can be friends.." he says. "yeah me too.." for some reason the though of us only being friends hurt me.. i don't know why tho.

______________________________________________________________

(i need some feedback, was the y/n to dramatic? was this to early for some angst? or was it just fine)

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flandrepudding · 11 months

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doll collection post

Hi guyz!! so somebody asked me to post my doll collection a while back and I put it off because i'm trying to rearrange my setup but its taking much longer than expected due to irl stuff.

But I dont wanna wait anymore! Feel free to just scroll through the pictures, you don't have to read the commentary if you don't want to. In fact you don't have to scroll through any of this at all. I wrote a lot because I am severely neurodivergent. Having a genuine blogging moment rn.

I have been waiting forever for an excuse to post my collection!! I was so happy someone suggested I do so.

I don't have a lot of room for everybody! Everyone is scattered around my room, but I try my best to display them nicely...

My G1 collection is moderately sized, these dolls are expensive and difficult to find. There are so many more I want, like Dead Tired Lagoona or Sweet 1600 Draculaura to go with my Sweet 1600 Clawdeen...sigh. But it just keeps getting harder! I am actually content with stopping my G1 collecting hunt for now and instead focusing on G3... Many of these dolls are from my dear friends, especially Leo and Raven (hi guyz!). Without my friends, I would only have three of these dolls... I am so lucky to be so loved!!!

I don't have many bratz that are in good enough shape to be on display. I really grew up on bratz rather than monster high... but again...these dolls get expensive! Roxxi was always a favorite of mine and a crush! Growing up, I was the type of kid who almost exclusively wanted one brat though. Yasmin. Not Cloe, Jade, or Sasha. I was devoted to collecting Yasmin because she looked similar to me. In retrospect, I really wish I had gotten more of the other girls...I do have some...though their numbers pale in comparison to the Yasmin army.

The ball-jointed doll is my most expensive doll and my largest doll (she is fucking ginormous). Even when buying her at half the original price (great deal from a great friend) she was hardly affordable.

I bought her because I plan on customizing her to be Flandre Scarlet, my ultimate comfort character! I've always dreamed of having a doll of Flan. SO why not make one myself? I've had her for months but am still too scared to cut that beautiful hair off...I'm no good at cutting wigs/hair in general. I did install her red eyes myself which I've never done before as this is my first and probably last bjd! She is gorgeous but I would consider these dolls luxury items... VERY EXPENSIVE.

(idk why the exposure is so high on these, sorry!! >_<;)

I am so happy to have the coffin bean playset!! I think it was a really good idea to get it. but I am so sad because I have hardly any room for it! So It's sitting on my dresser in front of a giant mirror so please excuse the poor editing I did to obscure the reflection of me and my living space lol...

I gave my Twyla low pigtails, though they aren't very visible, and my Clawdeen braids! I think Clawdeen looks super cute this way tbh I tried curling her hair again and again and again but the curls always fell out (I dont have much experience)...but honestly... I think I like this look even better ^_^. You can see her ears so well this way.

This Clawdeen is basically my holy grail and it was gifted to me by Leo, Leo if you're reading this I hope you know you are basically Jesus.

not to get deep but the OMG doll next to her is special to me because it is one of the last gifts I got from my late Grandpa. He took me to target and when I said I liked the doll, no questions asked, he bought her for me. Didn't give me shit for liking dolls at my big age. He simply got her for me because she made me happy, and he wants me to be happy. Dolls can mean so much. Again, I am so lucky to be so loved!!! >:D

I have this gorgeous Draculaura just chilling next to my jewelry cuz I have nowhere else to put her and honestly she is gorgeous and should stand alone.

Here I have the pride Bratz next to my bed!!! They mean so much to me, as I said earlier I had a crush on Roxxi. To see she's a canon lesbian now is so incredible!! And Nevra, her girlfriend, is beautiful! They are so cute together... they are never leaving that box though. This was actually the first doll/set of dolls where I fully understood why people are content leaving dolls in their boxes. I love to play with my dolls so much... but I could never play with these two!! If anything happened to them I would lose my mind.

Now... you're probably thinking......where the hell is Lagoona?!?! Do you not have one despite loving her this much? Of course I have a Lagoona. I AM GROWING AN ARMY!!!!!!

I really, really love Lagoona...I want to get every Lagoona doll I possibly can. Isn't she so cute! I relate to her character in the cartoon a lot too... her life at home, her difficulties speaking up when she is sad or angry, her sporty personality, etc etc... She has quickly claimed her spot as biggest comfort character #2. I included many pictures because I simply cannot pick one, she is flawless. You might recognize the Lagoona on the left, I drew her in that exact pose recently!!

I have her army on my desk, giving me the strength I need to get through my work... like Homer Simpson with his pictures of baby Maggie at his work. I get endless inspiration and motivation from Lagoona!!!

And here is the Flandre shrine bonus... I adore her!! I also have finally ordered a fumo flan that should arrive in august around my birthday eeek!!!

Anyways that is my collection. It's been many years in the making, though it's almost doubled since monster high G3 released... Mattel truly has me by the balls right now. If you read any of this, thank you. I put a lot of time into making this post, and it was really fun. I feel like a real blogger right now.

I really really enjoy dolls and talking about them. So I will happily do so anytime I get the chance!!! Will probably do an update once I finally install some more shelves and move stuff around <3

#blair.txt #doll collection #doll collector #Blair.circus

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noctivague · 7 months

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Revamping my altar - Part 01🙃

Let's ingnore the fact that I ghosted my blog for the most part of this year and jump right in as if nothing happened....

Starting point

I'm a very aesthetically driven person and I'm bored with my current altar, which has been remained the same for a long time. (I thought I had a picture but I don't and it's gone now so oops...)

I want to create something that puts me in an inspired mood just by looking at it. That looks inviting and beautiful and brings me delight and motivation. A little sanctuary nook kinda.

I want to revitalize things and symbolize the new era i'm in, due to the fact that i recently moved into a new flat, got a new job, and overall my life is very different than it was last year.

So here is the journey of making my new altar :) At the moment it's far from done but here is the first part of the process!

Part 02 will follow once I've received the things I ordered, probably at the end of November or early December.

Inspirations

So i went on a quest to find inspirations on pinterest that would sort of align with what i wanted to make.

ngl I dislike most of what I see because I find them too cluttered for my personal taste. The main issue is that i'm clumsy and i hate the idea of my hand having to slither through a forest of objects to be able to grab what i want lol

Still managed to find a few cool examples, here they are:

I love the rough, folk-esque, natural aspects of them, the blend of stone, marble and wood. The branches, the sculptures, the iconic symbols and the fact that there is a variety of heights of things, if that makes sense. I also like having a strong art piece in the middle, which i prefer over having a mirror like many examples i found. Idk i just find the idea of having to stare at myself at my altar a bit uncomfortable lol

But it's still different from what would be authentic for me and also i gotta do with what i have or what i can buy.

The thing is that my altar is not dedicated to a single deity so i can't go with one strong themed vibe but i have to put them all together. Currently, Apollo, Artemis, Hekate, Dionysos, Hermes and Demeter share the same space.

Furniture

Thankfully the new book shelf I got is quite wide and has three levels, which is plenty enough space to give everyone their own space and even host my incense, tarot cards and spiritual books.

I almost sold a kidney to get an antique cabinet, which looked really cool but was not going to fit in with the interior style of my living room, where my altar is located.

So I went in with a more modern yet slightly organic-shaped one:

Not 100% what I was looking for but at least the space is there. Love the curves an the contrast of the two colors, but I wish the wood was darker. I could sand and re-varnish but who's got time for that.

Current state of the sculptures

I've been collecting sculptures and hand painting them for a while now (you can check out my pinned post for pictures of some of them), and although I love what I made, I really want to get some new ones that are higher and I'm even wondering if I should just keep them white and gold instead of colorful.

Also, for the life of me, I can't find a sculpture of Hekate that I like. They either look too bland or too new-agey for my taste. At the moment, I have the classic three women holding torches and stuff that I hand painted in blue, yellow and silver, but idk it's not what I have in mind and I think I'm just going to resort to do clay modelling myself. I'll probably do a separate post for the process!

Btw I'll do a free giveaway in the future to re-home my old sculptures so stay tuned for that!

What I have in mind

Sooo I'm not sure of the exact height and width of the things that I have coming in, and I'm still looking for a strong art piece or relief to go at the center back so I'm not sure if my disgusting mouse-drawn photoshop sketch is going to be accurate at all lol

The more I stare at it the more I think it makes no sense 🙃

So basically, from left to right; Apollo (new statue incoming); Artemis (old statue at the moment but need to upgrade); Hekate in the center (need to craft that); Dionysos (new bust incoming); Hermes (new bust incoming); and on the lower lever Demeter (still love the statue as I think it's my best one so it will stay this way).

Still missing:

one or two candles i use during worship, preferably gold

art piece in the center, either a plaster relief or canva print of something

plant with long falling ''arms'' (idk the word in english)

dried branches to go in the left vase

a way to fix the antlers to the wall

an old key for hekate (need to go to a thrift store)

maybeee a bigger box to store my incense and ritualistic plates and glasses

I don't think I want a table cloth simply because I had one in the past and it was always a mess to clean. Having the bare table is much easier, especially considering that I will burn incense and candles and that gets messy.

---------------------------------

Okay that's it for this long ass post, see ya in a few weeks for part 02!!!

#altar #hellenic polythiest #hellenism #helpol #altar for the gods #greek gods #paganism #pagan altar #hellenic altar

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littledoggyboy · 4 months

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It’s still so strange to me when people call me cute/hot cuz when I see myself in the mirror or in pictures I’m like. Mildly ugly, average at best. And then I have friends who like. Freak out when I send a selfie and I’m like whoa what is happening and. Idk thank you guys tho you’re very sweet but it’s just odd to me

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bitchin-tubs · 3 months

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Complain time again tee hee but I’m just like UGHHHH talking genuinely to these ppl is SO hardddddd

With girl A, I spent almost a whole class lecture (friendly) debating with this one girl on why people medically diagnosed as psychopaths and sociopaths are not inherently dangerous, are not narcissistic by default and how ‘masking’ is not a form a manipulation. Her source for all of these… You. The Netflix show…

With girl B, I feel like she’s sooooo,,,, dismissive ?? Idk like I tried to introduce her to my friends once and she genuinely did not gaf. Like I said hi B this is C then she says hi to me and me only. Like my girl C is right here. But at the same time she’s always bringing me into her friend groups which is fine but I dont connect easily so most times I’m kinda just there SPECIALLY if it’s an all men group when I have specially told her I tend to be uncomfortable with men for “no” reason

I was having a conversation with girl A and the topic of autism was brought up, I told her that I think I may be low on the spectrum but there are some things I tend to relate to with autism behaviors, and considering opened up to me about her anxiety and how she had previously talked very openly abt diagnosis I thought maybe she’d get it. I know,,, self diagnosis (u are free to feel any type of way abt it) but idk I thought she’d have any type of nuanced comment about it but I should’ve known from the psychopath talk… I had told her that I find meeting new people very hard, I have difficulty talking to said people and I tend to be very restrictive about who I make a meaningful connection to. She said that my personality is and I quote “mamona” (jerk/snob/asshole ish) and completely dismissed my masking, overstimulation, 10 year old special interest, taking shit to literal and not understanding social cues or instructions as “just being different” yeah so I thought… yknow I might not have autism valid but idk I felt so ignored at that moment

Also don’t think I just unpack shit on her unannounced, we talk and convos play out as they usually do and since the topic was out I was like sometimes I wonder if I have it because of so and so plus she was unwinded with me before so it wasn’t impossible for us to talk abt personal stuff, even though we not so tight we are still close

Another thing I’m very bad at making friends, I think I mirror good enough to have nice interactions with people but not to the point they invite me to shit or talk to me outside of classes. Back when I was in my exchange program I was sharing a room with 3 swifties so I had to pretend to like Taylor swift so I wouldn’t feel singled out, I also watched the summer I turned pretty and witnessed these girls thirst over bad boy #2 when I thought the character was so shitty (the actor is good looking but I’m not attracted to him) and also would also unknowingly spend all-nighters on school nights (as in I didn’t know they were meant to be all-nighters) with them watching a movie I didn’t particularly like and see everyone thirsting over annoying man on screen (one of them was some straight outta wattpad step-sibling story ew, the other pride and prejudice IM SORRY YALL I DIDNT GET THE HYPE 😭 call me uncultured it’s okay

A and B are sólo also hardcore swifties and I can only be neutral abt her otherwise they get on my ass about it and saying I like Taylor swift or her music is too big of a lie even for me

I told girl A about this (or at least a bit) and she said that I should’ve just been me. Girl I can’t be me we were both witnessing a girl being actively bullied (tv show ass bullying they printed a picture of her and drew over it ugly, taped it to her dorm room. Still hurtful and bullying tho) I’m NOT about to ostracize myself

HOWEVERRR these are not my main friends, these are like the friends I made to not be lonely in these extra classes for an American 🦅🦅🦅 diploma. My close CLOSE friends are from my same career classes and they are so much more understanding and can interact more naturally with. So in my day to day I got good genuine friends by my side

I recognize that I can be perceiving these memories differently than how they actually happened, misinterpret their actions and just be in my feeling right now but idk I feel like I’m so difficult and constantly just have to comply with people in order to make others comfortable

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lostmyremembrall · 1 year

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haii ^^ congratulations for reaching 1K followers!! seeing the way you worked hard for this blog and the way you write your works, you very much deserved it 🤩 may i join your event if thats still alright?

-𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐞 — 🐍

Go on a date with Tom! Send in anything you're comfortable sharing about yourself (such as your love language), and I'll write a mini HC of date with Tom, specifically curated for you.

im a hufflepuff with a white stallion as my patronus. my love language is gift giving in terms of giving, but if we're talking about receiving i think mine would be words of affirmation and act of service? like, idk why but the simplest supportive words like "i believe you can do it," could make me cry (my teacher once said that to me and i accidentally cried in front of her lmfao)

im an introvert, and sometimes im shy but i dont think to the point where i avoid people. half of me is shy but the other part of me got a little thrill from meeting new people. it's scary at first, but i think it's interesting to make new friends and get to know people. i realised i tend to reached out to people first, after thoroughly study them from afar lol. i'd say i have a big circle of friends, but a small circle of precious, treasured besties.

i like to take pictures and videos. most of the time if i took videos of my friends and i, i'd edit the videos for memories (the type with background musics and such)

i like to style myself. i love doing my hair and my style of outfit is the feminine type, i love wearing dresses and skirts. i do it for myself, it feels good somehow

if i were in hogwarts (we are indeed hogwarts students but whatever) subjects that i'd excel in are charms and herbology. potions would be the subject i'd least like

thats all i think, i hope its not too much because i don't know what i should say in general 🥲 do not rush in doing this! have a nice dayy

🐍 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐂 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐨𝐦

A/N: Thank you so much for the sweet messages! I'm sorry I took such a long time to get to yours, but I really enjoyed writing this. The info you provided gave me so much inspiration for different scenarios! And you can probably tell I was swooning just writing about this haha. Anyways, hope you'll enjoy it!

You reached out to Tom first. To be fair, he acts cool and arrogant, and never shows any interest that he might have in others.

You found him intriguing in ways beyond what others saw in him, that he might be more complex than a simple prodigy.

It took a long time, but you helped him feel seen and heard, helping him open up.

Tom likes watching you style yourself, especially on the weekends while he waits for you to get ready for the date.

One morning, he stood up from his usual spot on your bed without a word.

You were sitting in front of the mirror, drying your hair with your wand.

He sat behind you, and ignoring your inquisitive glance, took some strands of your hair and began to dry it with his wand.

Somehow, Tom had memorised your styling routine to perfection.

Flabbergasted, you lowered your wand and quietly observed him through the mirror.

His serious eyes were trained on your hair, but you didn't miss the faint smile that tugged at his lips.

His fingers gently rustled through your locks of hair.

It was impressive, his adept fingers moving your hair with such precision, you could've mistaken him for a professional hairdresser.

Soon enough, he moved on to brushing your hair.

He was even more gentle with it, if that was possible. Holding your hair in his left as he brushed with his right.

It was comforting in an intimate way you've never experienced, to have someone running their fingers through your hair.

You gave a shiver every time his slender, cool fingers brushed against your neck.

He gave you a black silk ribbon on the back of your hair.

You found yourself blushing as Tom's face zoomed next to yours.

Through the mirror, you found Tom's eyes still focused on your hair, twirling the wisps of leftover strands of hair in his fingers to give them a curl.

You felt the heat emanating from his face, and your cheeks burning in return.

He tucked in a strand of hair behind your hair, and gave one curt nod to himself, content with the outcome of his work.

Tom acted nonchalant about it for the rest of the date, but needless to say, you

For his Christmas present, you gave him a photo stand of you two together.

He doesn't smile when taking photos. He used to be averse to them, so he's come a long way until he reluctantly agreed to take photos with you.

The photo stand features his serious, almost suspicious gaze at the camera and your smiling face. You catch him off guard with a peck on his cheek. The photo loops after Tom turns his shocked eyes to you.

He showed his appreciation when he received the gift, but as always, he did not smile.

But, the next time you visited his room, you found to photo stand on the bed stand. The only photo he has in his room.

Still, months after Christmas, you catch him staring at the photo. Whenever the photo-Tom gets shocked with a peck, he huffs out quiet laughter from his nostrils, and his lips turn into an amused smile.

You think he actually enjoys looking at the photo in his free time.

Many of your dates include studying.

Tom doesn't technically need any help with Charms or Herbology, but he comes seeking your advice, saying that he can "always strive for perfection."

Tom is a massive help with potions. He gets very invested in your grades, which can become a nuisance sometimes.

But, most often, the after-school help in the potions classroom can become very romantic and wholesome.

Tom quickly noticed how well you respond to encouragements.

Tom knows that your grade in potion comes from your disinterest, and not your ineptitude in any way.

During brewing draught of the living dead for Slughorn's assignment, in which timing is of the essence, Tom intentionally backed off to let you brew the potion on your own.

You were focusing on brewing, since there is essentially no time in between the procedures.

Tom observed you closely, and murmured "I know you can do this."

It lit your heart aflame knowing that he knew you to be fully capable.

And when the draught came out perfectly, earning you full marks, the satisfaction was even greater.

You two are the couple that constantly betters each other: challenging each other to get out of their comfort zone and grow. Not by pushing each other to the limit, but by encouraging each other and believing in each other. And, if things fail, you both would be waiting for the other with open arms ❤️

#1k celebration #1k event #1k milestone #1k followers #1K follower event #harry potter #1k follower celebration #tom riddle #tom riddle jr #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle fanfiction #tmr #tom riddle fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #tom riddle fic #tom riddle x you #tom riddle x reader

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kiefbowl · 1 year

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I'm messaging you because your answers have always been so well written and grounding. I also hope to get some input from other women that have experience with or advice for what I'm dealing with.

How does one deal with feeling ugly to the point where one avoids almost all mirrors and cries after looking at candid pictures of themselves? Since getting into radical feminism, I've stopped wearing make up and shaving. I've also seriously picked up weightlifting so I'm quite muscular (not ripped though). Physically, I'm the healthiest I've ever been but most of the time, I feel like a monster.

I've always had some kind of body dysmorphia so I cannot even be sure how objective my view of myself is. The only times I've felt "beautiful" where when I had anorexia, wore make up, shaved and dressed in a feminine way.

But... I don't want to *need* to feel beautiful. I could never get myself to starve/wear make up/shave/dress up again, I just want to *be*. Why does simply *being* cause me so much anguish? Why do I hate "being perceived", why do I give it so much importance? How do I stop caring about what others, especially people I don't even like/know, think about me? It also does not help that I'm het-partnered. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that can heal me is to escape to a remote forest, literally not being perceived by anyone for some time. Is this something that just needs time? I'm turning 26 this year, I feel like this problem should have stayed with teenaged me :(

Idk idk... maybe it's time to consider therapy. Sometimes it gets so bad I cannot leave the house. Thank you for any help and I'm sorry to offload this baggage. I would love to hear any radfem-aligned advice :(

I think you should follow your instincts about therapy. I wish I could come up with some amazing new words strung in a way that's going to alter your life, but I don't think I can. I can tell you that if we met, I wouldn't think you're ugly, I'm positive about this even though I've never seen you. I can tell you that I personally know many women who can leave the house no matter what they look like, including me. Not all of those women are happy about it, but they still can. I can tell you that ultimately, I don't put a whole lot of value towards "beauty" for myself, but I'll admit not every day is easy. Generally, I find it easy, but even still I have days where it isn't, despite everything else I believe. You're not alone in that regard.

Not being able to leave the house is something I would consider debilitating, it's something you should take seriously. Even if it's only once in a blue moon, it's more than me. It's more than most people. Most people can leave the house when they need to even in their deepest despair, so if you really can't because you're afraid of how you look and feel about your image and how you're perceived, I would call that debilitating anxiety. It's not frivolous, it's not silly, and you deserve to be well.

When searching for therapists, if you choose that route, look for licensed psychologists or psychiatrists. both can have a talk therapy practice, but generally speaking psychiatrists can prescribe drugs while most psychologists don't (depends on the state and other factors). Many people sell "counseling" without necessarily being licensed or having a doctorate. It's not necessarily wrong, but I would recommend going with someone who's received their doctorate for actually therapy. Remember, that with talk therapy, that's a relationship you're building with your therapist, it can take time to come up with strategies that work for you as they get to know you. Talk therapy might also not be for you, in which case seeing a psychiatrist right away might be a better option as they might get down to the brass tacks and seek a diagnosis quickly, though they might want to prescribe something to you quickly. Weigh these options down, but I do think talking to someone and getting an opinion with a professional will help you. Just like with any medicine, you're allowed to seek out second (or even third or fourth or more) opinions.

I really hope you can find some peace. I'm rooting for you. Keep striving, sis. <3

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solardecay · 6 months

Text

Lace your heart with mine // Baldur's Gate 3

About Me and My Writing

Hi, you can call me Kit (or Decay or Sol or w/e floats thine boat). I'm in my late twenties, my pronouns are she/her. I am both queer myself and obviously queer friendly. I'm not always consistently around due to both some environmental circumstances and personal struggles (it's the mental illness).

My writing style is third person present tense. I do have the ability to write in past tense if present tense bothers you. I can write anywhere from 200 words to about 3,000 (I don't measure in paragraphs as I play a little fast and loose with the definition of "paragraph" aksjdfhg).

While I don't expect you to mirror/length-match me, I am asking for someone who is comfortable writing detailed, literate posts. Not every post has to be 800w, I often dip low in my word count during dialogue heavy scenes. And I'm not asking for perfect spelling every time, lord knows I have a myriad of typos and I don't re-read my posts when I get excited. But I'm asking for the basics. Knowing that the game (and thus the city) is Baldur's Gate, not Baulder's Gate, would be a good start.

I have not finished Baldur's Gate 3. I am mid-Act Three on a normal Tav run, and haven't even gotten to the Goblin Camp on my Durge run. I am kindly requesting no spoilers, and we can discuss where each of us are in the game to better know what that means.

The Rules

Since I'm in my late-late twenties, I'm looking for someone who is at least 21 themselves, but it'd be even better if you were 23+

In this house we double. If you don't know what doubling means, it means that I write both my character and who you want me to write for you, and you write your character and who I want you to write for me.

I will even triple for you, if you're in the market for a love triangle or a polyam OT3. You do not in any way have to triple in return, in fact I'd prefer if you didn't.

At this time I am not looking for any NSFW content in my roleplays. I fade to black, and I won't be bullied into doing otherwise. (Dick jokes and talking about the fact adults do fuck is fine though, fading to black doesn't mean instant prude status)

I am however alright with like, a bit of violence. About Witcher 3's level is as far as I'm comfortable going: Durge can maim people as a treat if they want, we just don't need to go body horror with the organs, right?

Limits: Are very important, do not forget them. I do not want drugs, alcohol, smoking, vaping, or substance abuse to feature in or out of character. I don't want to see memes about it, I don't want to write about it. Nothing. I also am not wild about sexual assault, or the community's standard limits list of: pedophilia, incest, bestiality, etc. Leave all of that at the door, thank you. Rule number one of the salon is don't be nasty and you know that!

The mediums I use are: Discord, Email, and Gdocs (though with their AI scraping we should probably find somewhere else. I'm not keen on writing here on tumblr, but I'd be happy to idk, make a private Proboard or something?)

New rule: Please do not show me AI art of your character. Don't use an AI generator about it if you plan to write with me. Find a picrew or a dress up doll or some random picture on Pinterest. Hell just give me a paragraph description if you have to.

When you message me, do not just ask for my Discord or my Email. Do not just ask if I'm still looking, don't just say hey. The first message is a first impression, make it a good one. Tell me about yourself, tell me who you want me to write for you, what you're thinking, if you're picking up what I am putting down. Put some personality into it: This isn't a job, it's a hobby, it should sound like it when you talk to me. In this same vein, I'd prefer said first impressions are conducted over email, but messaging me on tumblr is fine too I suppose

Remember kids: Cringe is dead, the concept of a Mary Sue and judging OCs based on this imaginary criticism is inherently misogynistic, and having OCs related to canons (or other “Sue” traits) is cool and hot actually! Write that down! It’s okay to have powerful, smart, capable OCs! It’s fine, I promise ♡

Characters and "Plots"

First of all, in regards to sexuality / gender / canon / oc identities, everything is peachy keen! M/F, F//, M//, Trans, NB, Canon/OC, Canon//, OC// are all fine by me ♡

My side will be M/F Canon/OC, but you are welcome to request anything you would like. This is Build-A-Bitch and you can, in fact, have it your way.

My side is also M/F in a distinctly queer way. My OC is ace, as well as someone who doesn’t entirely conform to gender, so take that as you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I will make you an OC, I will play multiple Canons for you, you can write as any gender identity or sexuality as you please. Just rub the lamp and make your wish! I will write almost any Canon for you, barring noted exceptions.

That out of the way, here's what I'm looking for!

I am looking for you to write: Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep against my OC. I would particularly love to write for you: Astarion, Karlach, Minsc, Rolan, damn near anyone your gay heart desires Who I'm not particularly keen to write: The Emperor, Gortash and I don't yet feel like I know enough about Raphael to do him justice

And here's some plot jumping off points I've got rattling around in here:

Alternate Universe

I'm reeeeaalllyyy vibing with AUs at the moment. I think it's the ✨Holiday Vibes✨ aksjdfg. I'd love to do - honestly a wide variety of AUs! If you have something in mind, please feel free to mention it! The one I've been thinking about though is some sort of low-modern mid/high-fantasy thing where Gale is a professor at some wizard school? O///O I saw some art where he was a professor by day and a chess streamer on twitch by night? Which was pretty cute alwksjdfhg But I'd also love like some like Holiday-y cheesy romcom tropes if we're vibing. I love stuff like fake dating/fake engagement/fake marriage, that's easily my favorite. Shit like oh no now there's a storm, and no flights, and they can't leave... whatever will they do... how tragic. Only one bed type shit. I loooove slice of life, I also love stealing the plots of other media to use as AU skeletons! Like The Holiday or The Proposal, You've Got Mail, She Loves Me (the musical), whatever! I've got a whole list of these and a few other cheesy prompts if you're interested in something festive and romcom-y! I also love fantasy if we want to put these characters in a fantasy AU that's distinct from the game itself alsdhf

Self Indulgent Pre-Established (sort of) Bullshit!

Now I know a lot of people tend to see the term pre-established and cringe or in general think it’s boring. But wait, don’t scroll by! First of all, I don’t mean they were already like super together and had had a full character arc and everything prior to the roleplay ever starting. By pre-established I just mean that they knew each other. Second of all, remember what I said about cringe? It’s dead baby! Bury the coffin and move on! I’ve got an AU that I’m growing fonder of by the day, where my Tav has known Gale since they were teenagers (having attended Blackstaff together). They’re best friends and have been for decades at this point, and unbeknownst to Gale, my Tav has been in love with him since their days at academy. But his friendship means more to her than anything, so she’s never brought it up. Especially not when he was dating other people and later Mystra. She’s always been supportive and just quietly, quietly pines in the background. When he returns to Waterdeep after the netherese orb embedded itself in his chest and Mystra broke it off with him, after not seeing him for a while (since he’d been off with Mystra and later looking for the orb itself) she shows up to help him through this dark period in his life, and to help him find a cure. Gale is someone the game clearly writes with depression and something akin to (if not outright) suicidal ideation, and journeys of healing are narratives that I really really enjoy and cherish. So this would obviously be a lot of healing and then sweet sweet pining because like. Yearning, yanno? This sounds, as I write it out, like I can fix him fic and like I guess it’s not not that but? It’s more about giving Gale the tools to fix himself. Listen. I’m not explaining it good. But we’re all depressed queers in this Chili’s tonight, are we not? My depressed queers get it. We wanna see these bitches get some therapy! And learn to recognize their support groups! Even if that support group is your one school friend and your cat. You gotta start somewhere. This can be a pre-game thing if you want to later move into the game’s plot, or we don’t even have to touch the game’s plot. I am happy as a clam to just party on with Gale’s personal quest and figure out an alternative solution to the orb. I also recognize this is disgustingly self indulgent, but what is roleplay if not the wish fulfillment hobby? Naturally, in return, I am happy to write whatever self indulgent AU you are after!

Tadpoles, Gods, The Absolute: Oh my! (The Game)

I am more than happy to just shove both of our Tavs in the game and go from there! Especially since it’s what I’m currently interacting with, and that makes it something I’m thinking about all the time. We can craft companion quests for our Tavs, and we can pick a point in the game to drop them in if that’s your cup of tea! We can go as laissez faire or as hardcore mechanic about it as you like. Whether it’s just loosely following the plot or like sharing class builds and shit, I’m down for either! But know at the end of the day I’m one of those people who believe if the rules of Dungeons and Dragons are prohibiting fun, then it’s time to throw them out (like that old rule about all Tieflings being evil or some shit. Or how they can only be a limited amount of colors. Boring. Stupid. Where’s the joy, WOTC? Where is it.)

Alright, I think that's probably it. I know I probably came off abrasive, but I promise I'm a pretty chill person alksdkjfg

Hope to hear from you guys, but if I don't, good luck on your searches!

And for those who stuck around to the end and are interested in contacting me, here is my email that you can do that at:

cherryicingx (at) gmail (dot) com

(sorry for it not being very copy-pasteable, trying to avoid you know whats just scraping my email and spamming me)

We can totally RP via Discord, but you gotta get my handle by talking to me first. I'm getting tired of handing out my disco only to be hit with "hi i saw your ad :)" great what do you want "baulder's gate :)"

If you're gonna make me pull teeth at least pay me a dentist's salary first <33

#1x1 rp search #1x1 rp ad #baldur's gate 1x1 #bg3 1x1 #i mean i mostly plan to pin this to direct people here but #i guess it couldn't hurt to throw those on there #i promise i'm nice i'm just old #i've been roleplaying for over fifteen years #and you get tired at a certain point

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