#help i have no self control and I'm feeling incredibly impulsive

[threadbaresweater]

Someone tell me to just step away from the app for a while and not to deactivate and disappear like I usually do

#wish you could do the instagram thing here and temporarily deactivate your account so the temptation isnt there to come back #help i have no self control and I'm feeling incredibly impulsive

[sargeant-bxrnes]

long days & rewards.

✦ summary; rafe had a long day at work, so you come up with an idea to make him feel so much better.

✦ warnings: mentions of drugs, rafe struggling slightly w his mental health & self doubt, mentions of ward. | SMUT: oral (male receiving), unprotected sex, floor sex (is that a thing???)

word count: 2.8K

my masterlist! | requests are open!

The front door slammed shut and a heavy sigh followed, you heard attentively while your eyes focused on the stove in front of you— you didn't have to turn your head to see who it was, you knew already by the routine that followed: shoes on the doormat, keys on a glass bowl, jacket on the coat-rack.

Some silent steps followed, and soon you felt a couple of strong arms wrapping around your body, his chest pressing against your back as he softly placed a kiss on your temple. The scent of his cologne mixed with his own personal one relaxed you, allowing yoursef to untense in his arms.

Now that you two had gotten married, Rafe was trying to be a better man, a better lover for you. And taking into account that he's making an effort to be a good husband, it wasn't odd for Rafe act like this, although most of the times it meant that his mood wasn't at its best.

When he's the one to initiate physical, affectionate moments like this one, with soft kisses and caresses... it usually means something happened and his attitude was affected, it's hard to pinpoint if he's sad, stressed, or mad... it's up for you to figure that part out.

He didn't say anything, he just took a deep breath, inhaling the scent from the dinner dish you were currently cooking mixed with the smell of your shampoo and your daily perfume, the one he absolutely loves. One of his arms loosened around you, and Rafe began to fidget with the edge of the clothing you were currently wearing— it was one of his shirts, the edge of it reached the middle of your thigh, so soon enough Rafe was mindlessly tracing shapes on your skin as he observed your hands cooking.

"How was your day, my love?” you finally decided to ask, since he had yet to say a word.

"Long," He sighed, his body tensed as he unwrapped his arms from your body and took a deep breath, you frowned slighly, as you didn't intend to make him feel bad, or to even remind him of it. "Shitty."

"What happened?" you asked softly, taking a glance at him and seeing him standing by the table, pouring himself some wine in advance.

"I'm still adjusting to it all, you know, to being their boss," he began to explain, taking a zip from the wine as if to clear his throat. "And the guys… my employees, don't seem to like the change. They all treat me like-like- I don't know. They look at me and all they see is Ward's son, they treat me like I'm an idiot, like I don't know shit about the business, they don't see me as their boss, you know? No matter how hard I try to be."

"Oh baby," you said with a frown as you kept stirring the pot, though your eyes were on Rafe. "I'm sure you're a great boss and you're doing an incredible job."

"They don't act like it, though. When they look at me, all they see is the Kook Prince, Ward's son, the guy who used to get high on his free time, and that bothers the shit out of me. I'm so much more than that, yeah? My father saw it, saw potential, that's why he made me CEO. So, I- I don't know why the fuck they act like this, like I'm an idiot. It fucking pisses me off."

Rafe had indeed changed. When you met him he was a mess, getting high all the time, having a hard time controling his impulses and his anger, and with severe addiction issues. Although, with time and your help he began to get better, to stabilize himself, but sure, there's times when the old Rafe takes a peek and he acts like a complete asshole, but he's trying to be better, to change. It's a shame people don't appreciate that, it seems like Rafe fucked up way too many times for it to be excused.

"You are not that man anymore, Rafe, and sooner or later they're going to realize that. You've changed for the better," you encouraged your husband, you hated seeing him so down. "You're smart Rafe, you're a natural when it comes to your father's business and I promise it will get better."

"I sure fuckin' hope so, or I'm gonna fire them all.”

You took another glance at him and noticed just how done he looked, his shoulders were tense, his grip on the wine glass was tight, and his whole composture was stiff, and the look on his face... you've seen it plenty of times, and it doesn't mean good news.

He needs some relief, and you know exactly how to give it to him.

You turned off the stove so the food wouldn't overcook while you're busy, and then you walked to where he stood, slipping between the table and him, placing your hands softly on his chest, rubbing up and down.

'I'm proud of you." you said in all honesty.

"Yeah?" he asked with a smirk, though through all the smug attitude, you could see the glimmer in his eye, he’s not used to people being proud of him and verbally expressing it to him, so you’ve come to learn he values your encouraging words.

"Absolutely," you smirk, running your hands across his chest still. "And you know what? I wanna show you just how much I appreciate you."

"Huh," he seemed to catch on pretty fast, as his stare darkened as lust clouded his mind. "I could use some of that."

"I know," you said, taking his hand and walking both of you to the living room. "Let me take care of you."

    Rafe smirked once again and leant down, catching your lips with his immediately. His hands went to your hips as you two kept walking deeper into the room, directly to the couch. Rafe sat down on the sofa, his hands keeping a secure hold on your waist, pulling you to sit on him— but you resisted, parting your lips from his, straightening your body and looking down at him.

    Rafe looked up at you, slightly surprised by this, but the darkened blue of his eyes let you know he wasn't against this sudden change of tactics, if anything, he liked where this was going.

    You took a step closer, standing in between his legs, Rafe began to ran his hands up your naked legs, slowly sliding them under the button down shirt of his that you were wearing, and right when he was about to reach your underwear, you softly slapped his hands away.

    "Princess, don't do this to me..." he groaned, slightly annoyed.

    Giving in a little, you bent down and started unbuttoning his shirt, leaning down to kiss him and begin a trail of kisses, from his lips, to his jaw and down his neck, where you slowed down and started to suck, all without leaving marks.

    Your kisses continued going down, to his chest— that's when you knelt on the floor, your knees making contact with the soft carpet. Now that you were face to face with his torso, you began to kiss, licking your way down, causing a hiss and a groan to escape his lips.

    "Hey, don't tease me." he almost chastised, looking down at you.

    "This? This is barely teasing," you said in a playful tone, your hands now moving to buckle of his belt, unfastening it as your eyes remained in his. "I'm doing nothing."

    "Keep playing around and you'll see what happens, yeah?" His voice, his tone and the look on his eyes alone could've been enough to make you surrender, but where was the fun in that? whenever Rafe got in this particular 'mood', the nights were mindblowing. It was worth the risk.

    You unzipped his pants and he moved his hips up, making it easier for you to pull his pants and his boxers down his legs. His dick was soon free, hard and ready for you to do something. You looked up at him through your lashes. He was looking down at you intently, eyes dark as his tongue slid over his lips– he looked desirable.

    Looking at his eyes still, you licked up his length, all the way from the base to the tip, he let out an almost inhuman groan to that, and it made you instantly squeeze your legs to get some sort of friction.

    To get that sound out of him again, you licked his tip again, to then circle it with your tongue— noticing the clear teasing, Rafe took a fistful of your hair and harsly made you look up at him.

  "Stop teasin' and put your pretty mouth to use, princess. " he said firmly, the words ceasing to be an order, turning into a warning.

    With nothing but a look his way, you took him in your mouth, as deep as he could go, slowly bobbing your head up and down, whenever you got near the tip, you would hollow your cheeks around him.

    "Oh shit, just like that– fuck- just like that," he said, it was more of a groan mixed with a moan, though. You pulled him out of your mouth and licked his length again, keeping eye contact. "Fuck me... that's so fucking hot."

    His praise went straight to your core, you were so wet it was probably starting to drip down your legs, but you didn't care.

    You once again took him in your mouth and pumped whatever didn't fit, and not too long after, his breath became ragged, he wrapped his hand around your hair and started moving your head to whatever rhythm he needed as his moans turned desperate, which meant he was about to cum.

    So you did your thing, sucking one last time as he came in your mouth, letting out a string of curses that sounded almost heavenly in his now raspy voice. It genuinely took Rafe a while to recover from that orgasm, which made you feel incredibly proud of what you'd done to him– even if you felt like screaming because of how turned on you were.

    He looked up at you from the couch, both of his arms stretched out on the edge, his chest moving up and down heavily, his abs contracting with each breath as a few beads of sweat trickled down his skin, his hair was messy, and his eyes were still a dark shade.

If he could have taken a mental picture of this moment, Rafe would have. You looked simply perfect, on your knees in front of him, your makeup ruined, your lipstick smeared, saliva and his cum on the corners of your lips, your eyes big and intent, pupils dilated, lips swollen, hair messy...he loved the way you looked in that moment.

    He leaned in to kiss you, appreciating the way he could taste himself on your lips, his tongue entering your mouth as you straightened, wrapping your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss even more.

          And without expecting it, you tugged on Rafe, pulling his body to yours as you both fell to the floor, your back against the soft carpet of the floor, and his body falling on top of yours.  He let out a chuckle against your lips, as it had been unexpected but not at all annoying.

          You didn't even stop to think, you just got carried away in the moment, you pushed his shirt off his shoulders and tossed it across the room.

          On the other side, he removed his shirt from your body and was dealing with your underwear, however, your husband had enough and ended up tearing the clothing, ripping it off your body.

          "Rafe!" You exclaimed. "My underwear!"

          "It was on my fucking way," He murmured against your skin, kissing repeatedly in various areas, undecided what he wanted. "I'll buy you ten more sets."

          It didn't take long for Rafe to end up buried inside you, moving his hips fiercely against yours, the tip of his cock touching your g-spot with each thrust. Your fingernails scratched at his back, as you repeatedly tried to hold on to him, but the pleasure kept winning you over.

          Rafe's lips moved against yours, it was a sloppy kiss, tongue against tongue, teeth clashing, saliva mingling, but it was desperate and erotic nonetheless.

          Both of your legs wrapped around his hips, finding a new angle, extremely satisfying for both of you. All sorts of things were muttered, from praise to confessions of love, there was also some dirty talk and grunting, it was feral.

          He smirked as your back arched and your breasts pressed against his chest, a layer of sweat being the only thing between the two of you.

A deep, sharp, hard thrust followed, and then another, setting a rhythm that would for sure lead you right to your release at his mercy. His dick dove into you hard, fast and deep, desperate as he tried to push deeper inside you, touching parts of you that only he knew how— he had you at his mercy, doing whatever he needed to unwind after such a long day, and honestly? You loved it.

"So good to me, fuck–" you moaned, eyes rolling at the back of your head as his dick made contact with your g-spot with every thrust. "Rafe- please..."

You were rambling, begging, pleading, praising, asking. What for? He didn't know. Not a single coherent thing left your lips, just words and moans and his name— Rafe felt proud of what he was doing, he was fucking you so damn good you could barely form a sentence. It surely made him feel better after the shitty day he'd had.

He moved his body impossibly closer to yours, entrapping you under him as he placed both arms at the sides of your head, and dove his face down to your neck, kissing messily around it, wet kisses being placed all over your neck as his dick kept fucking you closer and closer to your orgasm.

          You continued like this for who knows how long, Rafe kept a deep, steady, fast rhythm, each of his thrusts bringing you closer to orgasm.

          And then the first clench came, and a second one, your moans began to get high-pitched as your hips attempted to chase his— all of those were telltale signs that you were about to cum. Until you did, you finished around him, clenching your walls around his cock until he finished himself as well, warm white ropes painting your insides.

          Rafe fell exhausted on top of you, his sweaty body on top of yours, heavy breaths as you both tried to recover from the intense session.

          When he regained his strength, he rolled off of you to lie on the carpet next to you, pulling you to him so you could lay your head on his chest, while the sound of heavy breathing was all that could be heard.

          "That was..." you had no words to describe it, but the closest ones were: amazing, mind blowing, sensual, rough, hot, passionate. All rolled into one. "So fucking good."

          "Yeah," Rafe said, understanding what you meant. He felt like he was in heaven, he always felt that way after having sex with you. "Fucking you is always mindblowing. It's just what I needed to unwind, thanks princess.”

"I know that," you said with an amused smile. "And I'll always be here to help you unwind, baby."

          You both laid there, aware that you were naked on the living room carpet, but too comfortable to want to move, the silence was long but comfortable as you two enjoyed eachother's presence. Ever since he became CEO of Cameron Development, Rafe has been extremely busy and you hardly see him in the mornings before he leaves, and at night when he arrives, so you were going to enjoy this moment.

          "Well, I can definitely cross "fucking on the floor' off my list." Rafe commented after a few moments, as his fingertips caressed your back.

          "You have a sex list?" you asked curiously, lifting your head from his chest to look at him, leaning back on your arm.

          "Of course," He scoffed, as if it wasn't obvious, he placed his arm under his head, so he could look at you. "I made it up when we fucked for the first time, because I knew I would never get enough of you."

          "What's at the top of your list?" You questioned him, stroking his chest with your fingertips. "Where is the place you're just... dying to do it?"

          "Hm, you wanna know?" he raised an eyebrow at you, and in response you nodded your head. "Come closer and I'll tell you."

          Despite suspecting he was up to something, you did as he asked and moved closer to his face.

          And just as your lips were about to touch yours. He started whispering over your lips the list of places he wanted to have sex with you, including the positions he imagined you in.

          Admittedly, you were more than interested in making that list come true. Perhaps it would turn into a tradition, a new place every time, and when that list was done, you'd come up with a new one.

#rafe cameron #drew starkey #outerbanks rafe #rafe obx #rafe smut #rafe angst #rafe fanfiction #fic rec #rafe fic #rafe imagine #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey smut #rafe cameron obx2 #rafe cameron smut #sargeant-bxrnes

[lookbluesoup]

I think something that gets missed in a lot of the "good guy characters are boring" debates online is that there doesn't actually have to be a debate. There needs to be a deliberate awareness that conflict is what drives story. And the source of the conflict doesn't have to just belong to the narrative.

Good guys can be incredibly interesting and dynamic if given the chance.

I do think it's harder to write a compelling hero than it is to write a compelling bad guy (or even antihero) because... villains are usually about conflict. They create competing interests. It's usually their specific function in a story. They often surrender to their impulses, and sometimes they say what we, the audience, are thinking - because a lot of good villains are characters who took a noble idea to an ignoble extreme.

And in a sense, "good guys" can seem flat compared to the villain, depending on how the story is written. If they're just nice, polite, moral, mild-mannered. always have self-control, always know what to do, never face any serious challenges to their morality then... there's no real innate conflict. There are no questions to answer.

But in real life? It is really. really. hard. to be good. Which I think can even make the hero characters like this feel a bit threatening or disconnected from the viewer.

There is so much potential to show the hero being human in stories, that gets missed. The good guy becomes a lot more interesting when they have serious reasons to doubt themselves or their ideals - and even if they don't doubt them, then that stubbornness becomes much more narratively significant.

Or times when doing the good thing means going against what their friends or family want, what other people who claim to share their beliefs want, or what we the audience want that puts them in danger of ostracism or injury. When they choose to do something radically, dangerously, kind in a situation when we, the audience, would expect and understand them to do otherwise. When they face backlash for it. When their kindness isn't repaid. The person they want to help spits in their face, or didn't want help to begin with.

I'm not just talking about a character who sticks to their guns and stays upbeat. Those are difficult things to go through, even if you've got healthy coping mechanisms. Letting the character struggle with it, in one way or another, makes it more believable. Even if they still make the right choice in the end each time.

All that being said, if someone is enjoying a character who's just... good. Who doesn't face any serious conflicts in their story, who always wins and gets to go home happy at the end of the day? Maybe it's that person's real life that has the conflict, the stress, the unresolved questions and tension. Maybe that good guy is the balance to the villains running rampart in their real life day to day, and they need to see that character win, over and over, to balance it out and keep hoping.

We live in a world today where there's... a LOT of conflict. Every day. Everywhere. News spits it in our faces because bad news sells better. Work can be hard to do and hard to find. Family can be difficult to deal with. Health can be stressful.

So I don't think it's wrong for some people to want to read "simple" stories where the good guys can just be good, because stories are humanity's mythology. It's our escape. It's how we give context to our lives. We need "good guys" just like we need "bad guys."

#wyn gabs #storytelling #writing #text #long post

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 9

A contemplative episode this week, as most of the characters stop struggling and start accepting some shit. But while some people come to correct conclusions (Ray and Mew break up, but can you call it a break up if you were never actually together?), others just decide to make the same mistakes and hope for different outcomes (Sand keeps trusting Ray instead of himself; Mew decides to give Top another chance). We're moving into the last act of the story now, and it's anybody's guess where we land up when the dust settles. Last week y'all judged Ray the most audacious by a mile. Lemme put my glasses on and see who I'm feeling this week.

🔺1. Nick (6)

Team Second Option!

Nick and Sand's loser friendship and their self-awareness of same is one of the most delightful parts of a truly delightful show. I can totally believe Nick suggested them hooking up, this is EXACTLY how these things go. Them dissolving into giggles over their kiss and cuddling each other to sleep was a beautiful friendship moment. Another beautiful moment was Nick's acceptance that he really had just fucked things up with Boston (we will ignore the fact that the boy just can't HELP spying on that man having sex with other people🤣), apologising in a heartfelt way and attempting to move on. I think Nick's heart might be the only one at ease at the end of this ep, so he wins the week.

⭐2. Boeing

My room is right here as well.

IT'S MOND IT'S MOND IT'S MOND MOND IS HERE AND HE LOOKS GOOD AS FUCK! It's time to find out what the hell this is all about, but whatever it is looks kinda fucked which YES.

🔺3. Sand (11)

We are just masochists.

The loser camping trip did a lot to make me feel less irritated with Sand this week. Sand has always been incredibly self-aware about how much him having feelings for Ray is a suck move, but having him state it all so baldly and call himself a masochist this episode did move the needle for me. Architect of his own misery? Yes, but knowing he lowhighkey ENJOYS the misery makes all the difference. You know what king, you do you. Swing wildly between euphoria and despair while you're young enough to find it exciting.

🔻4. Boston (2)

Gay, straight, pan, whatever the fuck you want to be. I just opened your eyes.

Oh sis, I saw you trying there, but the lack of impulse control as always will land you in trouble. He should have sent Atom packing after that party, but sad, lonely and pissed off are a bad combo, and one thing Boston consistently does is make poor decisions when he's feeling some typa way. He clearly served up a top tier dicking though, because Atom is in LOVE. Inconvenient at best. As I keep saying though: you can't keep a bad bitch down, and Boston's one of the baddest. This too shall pass.

🔺5. Ray (12)

I am thick-skinned. I don't care.

*deep negro spiritual sigh* How DARE you bust up the loser camping trip Raymond. I'll not forgive you for that one. Ray, rejected by Mew, demands Sand's company for an ego-boosting dopamine hit (including the sex that Mew denied him, natch), continuing to treat him like a servant and a possession. But this time Sand calls him on it, and that maybe means he thinks about it a little? TBD. I do think Ray WAS actually honest this episode about his feelings (hence the rise in rank), but he was still trying to get what he wanted out of Sand. He and Mew ended their ill-advised relationship as friends though, so that's a positive. Rehab seems to be on the menu next week so anything's possible. I still think these two are terrible for each other, but they're 21, I guess it's allowed.

🔺6. Top (7)

I just want you to know that the person you think loves you the most is not that good.

Watching Top work Mew's moms over all Mew's objections was gross, and I'm fortified anew in my feeling that this dude's vibes are just OFF. Top...circling Mew like this, working Cheum, working his moms, making the move to excise Ray but not actually pulling the trigger because he knows taking the high road will appeal to Mew...look this show has 3 more eps to prove me wrong but something ain't RIGHT with this 'un. Top's money, his good looks, his sweet words, that's all it seems anybody pays attention to, but something underneath...anyway, his strategy's working, right up until the moment Mew runs into Boeing on his fucking doorstep.

🔻7. Mew (3)

I just thought if I became someone else, I'd be stronger.

Well the slut spiral was fun while it lasted, but I guess the morning after a coke bender is generally unpleasant and Mew's a paper tiger not a real G. Mew's trying to keep up the party boy persona but he's not built for this shit, his heart's not in it and Ray trying to literally get in his pants crashed him back to reality. He's totally going back to Top, Boeing or no Boeing.

⭐8. Mew's moms

I saw you on Mew's Instagram. You look better in person.

Oof. Look they're cute and they obviously love Mew, but their son is clearly uncomfortable and unhappy with Top around and they're ignoring that. They may not know what happened, but the room ain't THAT hard to read.

🔻9. Atom (1)

Did I just get nailed and bailed?

Atom tried dick exactly once and it's got him outside Boston's house in the middle of the night begging for more of the same. My bunny boiler hopes have fizzled for both Nick and Sand, maybe Atom is the one I've been waiting for.

🔹10. Yo (10)

Good can't buy love.

Mae Yo with the read this week: 'good can't buy love'. I really want Mom and Cool Stepdad back together. GO GET YOUR MAN YO!

🔻11. Daddy Dan (4)

I'm not going to be your boss tonight. Call me Daddy Dan.

The cringe is through the roof. Well he might get to sniff it but a sniff's all he's gonna get before Nick's back in Boston's bed, and that's just a matter of time at this point.

🔻12. Cheum (8)

The evil spirit left you already, huh?

Will Cheum ever learn to mind the business that pays her? Her lack of interest in her brother's clear and obvious heartbreak is contrasted unfavourably with her overinvestment and overinvolvement in the Mew/Top saga. I also somehow feel like last week's self-interested moment of solidarity with Boston won't survive contact with her brother getting exactly what he asked for and breaking his own heart with it.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

[jyytheriverdragon]

Hello! It's kiera again! I'm here to ask more questions about every each of ying yue in your AUs becase i was bored and wanted to get something a little entertaining so here are some questions i wanted to ask! Lego monkie kid questions: 1) What does ying yue finds MK and Mei? (Like kind of relationships) 2) If ying yue ever met the other two alternative of herself the one from nezha reborn and meihouwang, what are her reactions and expectations? 3) What are ying yue's favorite genre and places? 4) What does she hates? Nezha reborn questions: 1) If Shubao met the other two alternative of her reincarnated self (LMK&MK09) what are her reactions and expectations (Doing the same question because it's quiet interesting for me) 2) What are Shubao's favorite desert? ( In other countries ) 3) Who is her no.1 bestest friend? Mei hou wang questions: 1) If ying yue ever met the other two alternative of herself the one from nezha reborn and lego monkie kid, what are her reactions and expectations? (Doing it again and same reason) 2) What if ying yue found out about how liu'er deal with the same demon and was possessed with the same demon from the past, what did she react and thought about it? 3) What does she hates? 4) If ying yue ever met Klee (from genshin impact, if you know.). What does she do with klee being a demonist(meaning: Obsessed with bombs and explosions.)? That's all! And sorry if it might take you long to answer these. Anways The genderfluid is out of asking this and is strolling around, once again! Adios!

LMK:

1. I'm assuming you mean her relationship with them. Ying ADORES MK as she views him as a kind and very caring boy, plus he freed her from the vase so that definitely boosts her opinion. She does however wish he took this monkey kid business more serious and wasn't so impulsive. But she'll always look out for him no matter what, if you want to get to MK, you have to go through her. Good luck.

It's pretty much the same with Mei but both bond over their similar love of fighting and exciting adventures! In fact Ying loves to join Mei with her races and in return teaches Mei stuff about dragon society and culture. However a bit like MK, she wishes Mei was more careful and calculated, she also believes Mei to be too reckless with her powers and tries to offer basic lessons so Mei can finally learn control.

2. LMK Ying would be best friends with her MHW counterpart as both are basically the same person just in different locations. Both are on the same page at all times and more importantly both understand each other's trauma. As for NR, she'd take on a maternal mentor figure with Shubao. She'd teach her how to fight and control her powers along with her temper. She'd also be incredibly protective of her.

3. I assume genre refers to music, if so, Ying doesn't really have one. Almost all music types are completely foreign to her so she's trying to catch up with all she missed, however she has found herself to be a fan of rock. As for places, Ying prefers the outdoors more, the more space to run around the better it is. She never wants to feel cramped or restrained so she loves going for hikes in nature or swimming at the beach. But what makes it even better is if her friends are there too. Ying loves spending all the time possible with them.

4. Cramped dark places like movie theaters, and any powerful immortal/person/demon that instead uses their abilities to hurt people instead of helping them. Essentially, anyone who makes things worse for people instead of better, or who just stand by and watch. She's not a fan of heaven or Wukong.

NR

1. Shubao would have pretty much the same reaction to both LMK and MHW Ying Yue, shock and honestly gratitude because she can finally be taught by a dragon in person and can truly get to know her past life.

2. Shubao doesn't have much of a sweet tooth but she likes egg tarts and steamed rice cakes

3. Shancai

MHW

1. Same reaction as LMK Ying Yue, however is very confused and mystified by the modern tech from their world.

2. Her reaction would change depending on when she finds out but I like to think it's like deep into the possession. She's furious that he withheld this info but deep down she's so sad that he had to suffer through this thing like she currently is.

3. Same as LMK Ying minus Wukong

4. I don't play Genshin Impact so I'm afraid I don't know who that is.

#monkie kid #mk #lmk #monkey kid #monkie kid oc #lmk oc #mk oc #monkey kid oc #monkey king 2009 #monkey king #lego monkie kid #mei hou wang 2009 #new gods nezha reborn #nezha reborn

[deuterosapiens]

Delicate Condition, by Danielle Valentine

This book was not for me. I wanted to like it, I bought it with the intention of liking it. I bought it with the intention of making a Rosemary's Baby joke, but this book, which I read over the course of two days, simply doesn't do it for me.

So, for those out of the know, American Horror Story's twelfth season is going to be unique, not just because it will be including Kim Kardashian, but because unlike other seasons which take inspiration from other works, but are, on the whole, original stories, this upcoming season is an adaptation. As it hasn't went live yet, I'm not certain whether to view AHS: Delicate as a straight adaptation, or a loose one (like the Bryan Fuller version of Carrie from 2002 that basically no-one saw), however the point is that I purchased this book in an attempt to get something of a feel for what to expect out of this season.

I'm not saying I regret that decision, I'm just saying that there are certain things which I loved and certain things which I disliked immensely in this book.

I will be spoiling a lot of it, and basically every other media I can thing of, including the classic Roman Polanski film, Rosemary's Baby, starring the treasure of an actress Mia Farrow (whose remake is... fine. I love Zoë Saldana, but her adaptations draaaaags).

So, Delicate Condition is about an actress who is desperate to have a child. I'm not saying desperate, the book is. Like, a lot (I might go through it again and highlight the sheer number of times the book uses that word.) In her desperation, she visits an IVF clinic to help. Boom, now she's pregnant. But now she's being stalked, so she moves away, has a miscarriage, then quite astoundingly, somehow still feels like she's pregnant. Is it a miracle or could it be...

...Sa~TaAaN???

No.

No it is not.

Which is one of these little things that kind of lead to this book fizzling out for me.

During her pregnancy, the post-miscarriage one, unusual events begin to occur around her. She develops an extreme craving for raw meat, she hallucinates frequently, and there's an intense discussion that she's being drugged. Her husband and her doctors refuse to believe her, and the word hysterical comes up frequently (etymologically interesting, as the word hysteria comes from an older Greek word for uterus, which creates an thematic connection that is undoubtedly intentional).

So, you know that scene in Rosemary's Baby where in a trance-state, Rosemary starts eating raw chicken? It's weird and uncomfortable and does a fair job of showing us, with no dialog, that there's definitely something going on her. It's an impulsive decision and it freaks her out tge moment she realizes she's doing it.

There's a comparable scene here involving a dead raccoon. Our actress is drawn to the smell of a rotting animal in her swimming pool. She's disgusted by it, but eventually finds herself craving it culminating in a scene of her waking up, convinced that she had gone back to its corpse and eaten it in her sleep.

Okay, so the Polanksi scene is snappy and works because it's impulsive. The Delicate scene does not, because it is clearly thought about, discussed, and takes place over the span of multiple days. It's also a fake out.

There is a raw-meat-eating scene later on. This is actually a recurring obsession of hers. One that results in her almost biting into one of her dogs, but due to incredible self-control, she resists the urge and raids the kitchen. This weird moment has a climax in which she lures a stray cat to its death. Except that cat is shown alive the following day. A hallucination! And another fake out.

This is a thing this book does a lot. It has these intense, interesting moments that you're waiting on the pay-off for, and the pay-off more-or-less amounts to "it's all in her head". Which would be incredibly cool. Subversive. A version of Rosemary's Baby where the pregnant woman thinks there's evil and conspiracy and the twist is, nope, you're legitimately just completely certifiably, a lunatic. Except, nope, it turns out there is a conspiracy!

That's right! As we near the climax, it's revealed that her IVF doctor was in league with Satanists to take her baby for ritual purposes!

This too, is a fake out. Because it's actually witches!

Oh, yeah, she was definitely being stalked, but it wasn't Satanists attempting to produce The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is Called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness. It was witchcraft. How silly of me. And so it's witches then, who are trying to produce The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is Called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan, and Lord of Darkness?

Nope.

Because the subversion here, is that witches were stalking her to guarantee that her pregnancy is successful and painless because the real horror, the real evil, is that doctors don't take women seriously.

There's a sub-plot of our actress's husband being shady. Those of you thinking of that whole thing about Guy trading his wife for fame should disregard that notion. Turns out, he's just an unfaithful prick who intended to separate from her if their recent attempts at baby-making failed. Cool. Great. This added sooo much tension. Completely necessary. Yay.

Okay.

So going into this, the first thing you should realize is that, despite the set-up reminding you very much of a certain film (and the book on which it's based, which I have not read, but will remedy shortly), and despite the name of that film appearing prominently on the cover as part of the accolades, your enjoyment of Delicate Condition will vary quite heavily based on your relationship with that film (and/or its original novel). Think of it as its own thing, separate and see how it stands on its own.

I can see how this will work for American Horror Story. That show has always been about taking familiar horror stories, familiar situations, familiar tropes and telling its own story with them. Whether that story is good is relative. Delicate Condition does very much the same things and so is very much worth at least a casual glance to your average AHS fan.

I cannot however entirely recommend this to fans of those films and books which brought the Satanic Panic to its head. It wants to be Rosemary's Baby but isn't. It wants to be an original thing but shares too much with Rosemary's Baby to divorce itself too much from the concept.

I wanted to like it. I was ready to love it. But this wasn't for me. Maybe it's because, as a guy, I cannot relate to the physical experiences here. I will concede that this might be a perfectly chilling, unsettling, and disturbing reading experience for people who are more intimately familiar with its subject matter, but that's not me, and that's no fault of the book, or its writer.

I truly want others to like this book more than I did.

#reading #books #rambling #delicate condition #ahs delicate #american horror story #rosemary's baby #time for the exorcist #colo(u)r coded for your (in)convenience

[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Free Day Friday

It's Black Friday and I refuse to leave the house. Here, take my incredibly and unrepentantly self-indulgent Eldritch Damas au.

Premise: Damas death scene but close to a light eco vent and Jak tries to heal him.

Well Tumblr won't let me fix the formatting it donked up, guys, so there's a copy of this post that's actually readable on dark theme up now.

Damas has never been exposed to that much at once, unfiltered. Jak can't control how much he's channeling from the vent, he's too distraught. And he ends up changing Damas in the way the Dark Warrior Program changed him.

Damas can't control the light eco transformation. He looks like some kind of ascended being, trapped in a more powerful form and unable to utilize his new powers in a way that would deplete the eco and let him de-transform. 

Do people consider him dead? A changeling? A Precursor-king? Jak would feel so guilty, having put this on Damas's shoulders without him having a say in it.

_____________________________________________________

He's guilt stricken, he's horrified, he's so sorry, Damas please- 

He doesn't know he's Damas's son, Damas doesn't know he was always Jak's father and not just recently his father. 

Jak thinks of the Arena, thinks he knows what Damas's wrath looks like (he doesn't, he's seen only the strongest commingling of worry and frustration) 

His war amulet feels meaningless. He has betrayed his leader, after all. The one ruler he chose to serve willingly. The only adult in his life to see his darkness and embrace it as simply part of him. And look what Jak's done to him. He thinks he deserves what is surely coming, but he's still just a boy and he can't help pleading for forgiveness. 

And Damas sees a child, stripped of his tough protective shell, terrified beyond words -- is he so horrible to look upon? -- pleading incoherently for either forgiveness or mercy, he can't tell which. Tears stream down his face, making him look disturbingly young.

"I didn't mean to- I didn't mean to, Damas, please-! Please forgive me! I-I-I lost control of it, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" 

Jak doesn't beg. Jak never pleads. 

This is profoundly wrong and he knows this in his heart although he cannot quite fathom the depths of the wrongness he feels. He only recognizes that he does not want this boy to kneel before him. He has never been so formal before, it feels unnatural for him to be so now. 

(Veger arrives late, does not recognize the cosmic horror as the king he willingly betrayed. He sees the dark eco freak humbled, on his knees before what he believes is a Precursor. He thinks that at last the thorn in his side will be struck down) 

This is it! At last! Veger thinks 

And then this thing that was their king bends 

Jak grieves, believing Damas no longer knows him; he wonders if this is worse than Damas being angry. Everything they've been through, every memory, just gone? As beyond reach as Jak’s own childhood? And he did this to him.

- this is it. I won't fight him, Jak thinks -

And the great tendrils of its -- his -- wings wrap around Jak. On that too calm face, artificially peaceful, something quizzical appears in the tilt of a mouth swirling with stars. Wings draw close around them, dragging Jak up to collide with a broad chest thrumming with energy both alien and familiar. Light eco begins to seep into Jak, whispering beneath his thoughts "ours, ours, ours"

He traces a glowing hand along Jak's cheek, cocks his head and twists Jak's face back and forth with an innocently curious expression as though he's never seen him before. 

Something sparks in Damas's eyes, some thought or impulse, and he seizes Jak by the upper arms. The words that pour from his mouth are ancient, a dialect lost long ago to all but the monks and those who once called Sandover their home.

"Mine…? You are! You are mine.” 

It is a declaration, a discovery. A revelation. A promise. 

With a flick of his wrists, he sends Jak tumbling into the light eco vent. Light flares and Jak transforms with a choked cry. Daxter panics, but he can't get past Damas's wings to get to his best friend. He watches Jak stand on shaky legs, wings curled tightly around himself as though he is trying to hide. Hide from his shame, hide from his friend, hide from his king. Light eco usually calms him, soothes his nerves, but not this time. It is frenzied, yet it is rejoicing, singing through his veins like a homecoming and Jak is left disoriented. Dazed. 

Ours, ours, ours-! 

Unnaturally strong hands lift him up under the arms, leave his feet dangling like a child's. Jak doesn't remember ever being held like this, outside of the secondhand memories of holding his own childhood self. When he finally works up his courage and looks into the Precursor King's eyes, looking through the filter of light eco himself, there is no anger. Neither is there a lack of recognition. Damas still knows him, that's becoming obvious. Jak looks into his eyes and sees pain and acceptance and a naked, boundless joy. 

And Jak is so stunned that he forgets in that moment that he was trying to hide. He almost forgets why he feels squirming guilt -- albeit muted -- under his skin. He knew that Damas liked him. That Damas was comfortable expressing pride in him, even in front of the whole Arena. This is something else. Something Jak has never been bold enough to hope for outside of his own lonely imaginings: that Damas might see him with a kind of fatherly affection. That the closest thing he had to a real father figure might see him as a son as well. 

"Child,"

Damas echoes, proud and warm and earthshaking,

"My child." 

And what Veger sees, what he thinks he sees, is the child he ripped away from Damas, the tainted heir, receiving the blessing that should have been his: to ascend to Precursorhood. Welcomed into this evolved form as though the dark eco meant nothing. 

He can't fathom it. 

His worldview is cracking at the edges. 

Oblivious to his crisis, Damas -- now closer in nature to his ancestors than he knows -- is content. This is his child. His. The eco in their blood harmonizes, dark with light, in one melody. He knows this weary warrior. He knows the blood that flows in his veins. His subject, his best warrior, his impudent rascal, his Jak: his son. 

Vaguely he knows there's something they were supposed to do, something quite important. But it doesn't seem as important as stopping time just so that he can hold his child in his arms again. 

Jak would like to get down, he really would. His wings flail in an ultimately futile bid for freedom. He has a world to save. But Damas won't let him go. He's smiling -- it's a relief, but the guilt still eats at him and he doesn't understand, what is the eco doin? Why is it harmonizing? Does the light eco in Damas recognize his own eco? Is that why he's calling him "My own. My little one."? 

Jak has had enough experience with the Light Form that the Precurian instincts don't overwhelm him, and he still thinks on a very human level. But Damas doesn't know how to separate human instincts from Precurian instincts. They're all one to him. 

His memories run against the swell of light and life and love and absolute otherworldliness coursing through him, too strong to control.

"Why aren't you angry?" Jak whispers as he tries to find somewhere for all that light eco to go. 

Tendrils of living eco brush across his cheek in a loving caress and lift his chin. Jak finds himself leaning into the touch without thinking as he watches the stars shift and swirl across Damas's face. This Light Form of Damas croons comfortingly, a subsonic rumble that is both calming and Alarming to Daxter and even Veger as they watch.

"Angry?" The word lilts oddly in the old language. "Why, little one?"

"I...I did this to you! You didn't choose this!"

"But now I am neither dead nor dying. And I know who you are." 

Jak twists up his face in confusion, refracting light across his cheeks. 

He's not afraid, but he's hesitant to ask. "Who...who am I?" 

"My son." 

#eldritch damas au #eldritch dad #jak and daxter #fic prompts #writing prompts #releasing au ideas into the wild #jak and daxter au #in which humans who do too much Time Shenaniganry and eco channeling are at risk of becoming Neo-Precursors #the sketchy Ottsel Precursors are very very nervous about this #Jak hasn't seen Damas's seal and doesn't realize yet that he's Damas's kid both literally and figuratively #Daxter has figured it out and mistakenly assumes Jak knows #Damas technically could change back but good luck making him do it #friday snippets #folklore friday

[cosmic-kaden]

Kaden's getting a little real in a sense.. but it's self ship related... (As I said, he is right up next to Kylo in terms of comfort character now... )

Once again comforted by Ad.a.m(Sa.ck.ler)

Because once again he canonically did something that made me think he would be the exact same with me.

If I am ever in a place where I am now, when things are incredibly hard and I couldn't control my emotions or my thoughts or my impulses... Ad.a.m would be there. It doesn't matter what the time of day would be, he doesn't give a flying fuck how far away from each other we are. He will deadass run to me and he won't stop until he is right next to me.

It's comforting to know that even if I didn't answer the door he would kick it down.. it's comforting to know that he wouldn't judge me when I tell him I'm scared of myself or that I'm ashamed because I might have done something stupid to myself. It's comforting to know that no matter what I am going through he's there with me, he will help as best as he can and he goes into it knowing that he isn't helping me to try and fix the issue, he knows he can't fix no more than I can fix it myself.

He goes in with the intention of making this cold dark, terrifying moment better. To replace with cold with warmth and understanding, to replace the dark with his light and to replace that irrational fear with reassurances and safety even if I don't believe it right away...

He will stay with me, sit or lay with me, apart or with me in his arms sobbing, no matter what he will be there until I feel a sense of calm and peace. He know he can't make it permanent but if he can provided it, if even for a little while... then he has succeeded...

This f/o is becoming a lot to me. Not only do I appreciate the lore I've created with him, he has also been helping me in a way that I didn't think was possible..

I love you Sac.k.ler.. .you adorable, sweet, dirty minded dork... heh

#oops I get personal a little >///> #gush.png #Sackler 💞 #My favourite bad habit;

[edoro]

Luz for character bingo! c:

okay, there just weren't really many spaces that adequately explain my feelings about Luz, so.

i love her. she is an absolute delight and probably my favorite cartoon protagonist of all time. i find her intensely, painfully relatable, and therefore also an absolute joy to write - getting into her headspace is so easy for me. if you spliced Luz and Hunter into one incredibly fucked up person, that person would have been me as a teenager.

okay, so, Luz. gosh. she's such a good character. i love how idealistic and hopeful and caring she is, how sweet and kind and compassionate, and yet how she also clearly has her own issues - deeply buried grief over the loss of her father (boy did the nail the "my dad is dead and it's kind of a big deal but i'm saying it's not because i really don't want to have to deal with someone else's feelings about it right now" feeling in that episode where she tells Amity about that), her own loneliness and awkwardness, the way she tends to just internalize everything and push away her own feelings and needs...

she's so awkward and clumsy in so many ways, but also so earnest. she cares so much about people and even though she's often very impulsive and intense, she's also pretty socially adept in some ways. she's good at figuring out how other people are feeling and what they need and trying to offer that.

i see Luz as the kind of undx'd/untreated (seriously, Camila, don't send the kid to social skills camp, send her to a fucking psychiatrist and get her some damn ritalin) adhd kid who's always just been... too much. too loud, too weird, too intense, too emotional, too invested in the wrong things in the wrong ways. the kind of person who has a switch where everyone else seems to have a dial.

i can imagine her as a younger kid having more trouble controlling her emotions than she does now, and being a lot more prone to impulsive displays of negative emotion - i notice that Luz tries really hard to put a positive face on things, and it feels a lot like someone who's very wary of her own capacity for anger and negativity.

she's clearly so isolated at home, without any real friends, and has just retreated hard into self-directed fantasy hobbies as a way of coping. but give her the chance to bond, and she jumps for it - she's not aloof, she's just been hurt and rejected so many times, but when she has the chance for a fresh start, she grabs it with both hands.

she tries so hard to see the good in everyone and give them the benefit of the doubt, which is helpful for people like Amity and Hunter, but comes back to bite her with people like Philip. i really enjoy how, idk, cohesive her whole personality is as a character - all of her good traits can be flaws, and many of her flaws can also be good!

she shows compassion to everyone, but some people don't deserve her compassion, and being too trusting gets her hurt. she's intense and impulsive, but it makes her very good at learning and teaching herself things, and means she doesn't overthink situations the way people like, say, Lilith do, and she's not afraid to do what she thinks is right.

she cares so much about other people, but she uses that as a way of suppressing her own issues. she neglects herself emotionally, bottling everything up inside and trying to project onto others and solve their problems as a sort of proxy for solving her own. very 'unaddressed trauma' type of feeling there, trying to give everyone else the care and compassion and support that she needs but doesn't know how to ask for or feels like she doesn't deserve.

i just love her a lot. she's so vibrant and real. as for 'better as part of a dynamic' - i think Luz is completely fascinating on her own, but she really shines when you get to play her off of other people. after all, isolation was her whole problem in the human realm. give her friends, enemies, foils, and watch what she does! the way she relates to and interacts with all the members of the cast is just endlessly fascinating.

i'm especially interested in playing her off of Hunter and Philip, because they're my faves, and the parallels and mirroring there are just delicious. but she has great interactions with everybody. she's a good kid and a good character.

#luz noceda #the owl house #asks

[sunnyrinka]

my favourite yellow senshis

in no particular order. i just love yellow senshis idk they're usually my favourite in the team and i wanted to make this since i wanted to ramble about characters i love for a bit !!

explanations will be just me rambling, sometimes I can't form coherent thoughts when it comes to why they're my favourite characters they just are ykyk 😭 long post ahead!

Chisato Jougasaki - MegaYellow (Megaranger)

She's the first one who captured my attention even before I started watching. She's a well-rounded character that you just can't help loving- she's clever, she's passionate, she's kind. Her love and dedication for photography is something I could relate to, and I admire that aspect of hers a lot. Her focus episodes were so fun to me, and I love her dynamics with her friends so much especially Miku and Kouichiro!

Mio Natsume - Toq3gou (ToQger)

SHE IS SO CUTE!! I generally love calm characters so that's a reason why I was drawn to her (+Hikari) while watching. Her focus episodes made me sympathise with her a lot, it painfully hits home in such a strange way??? Finding about her personal desires, seeing how considerate she is, always, of her teammates, I just ughdshf love her so much.

Moune - GoseiYellow (Goseiger)

my skrunkly... my little gremlin... she is so adorable ohmgdysf!! The baby of the team, an impulsive fireball. No one can control her except her brother (kind of). Very determined and just wants to be taken seriously. She cares a lot for her family as shown in #that episode with their mother that made me :((

Tametomo Imizu - KirameiYellow (Kiramager)

Loved his character since the start,, he's cool, he's confident and he's capable. He's also skilled in marksmanship and if any AssClass mutuals are reading this then you'd understand ANYWAY he appears tough and showy but deep down he's just sweet and sensitive. All his focus episodes just makes me admire him even more, as he's just a naturally selfless person.

and my absolute comfort characters...

I need a whole other section for them because obviously Dekaranger and Magiranger are the absolute everything to me, and Kotoha is a character that means the world to me as well. These three are some of my favourite characters of all time, not just limited to SS.

Kotoha Hanaori - ShinkenYellow (Shinkenger)

Kotoha is a character that means a lot to me. She's a sweetheart, incredibly soft-spoken, determined and hard-working. Throughout the series, she remains kind and considerate. Her character is one that I'm sure many can relate to: the feeling of not being good enough, constant self-doubt, those thoughts alike that appear so often that they are just normal occurrences to her. Her focus episodes were painful but hit close. Yet she never falters and continues to try to the fullest of her efforts, even if she may feel like she's lagging behind her teammates. I love her character development, watching her grow into the best version of herself, her determination only growing stronger along the way. + her and Chiaki have the best friendship I don't make the rules.

Tsubasa Ozu - MagiYellow (Magiranger)

An important aspect to his character is his selflessness. His desire to go through extremes for the people he cares about; notably, his siblings. Yet, he doesn't understand why people would return the same sentiment to him (ex. Hikaru). He puts up a cool front, but at heart he's sensitive, and only when he feels as if he failed his loved ones does it all come crashing down. Literally ALL his focus episodes are about him trying to save someone in one way or another, at times leading to him making impulsive decisions that puts his life at risk. He bagged all the angsty episodes of Magiranger and I'm not even kidding. But in general, he's rational, passionate, and clever. He knows what he's good at and knows what he wants. He's easygoing and good-natured, well-meaning and polite (except to like Kai).

Marika 'Jasmine' Reimon - DekaYellow (Dekaranger)

Possibly due to her powers and the environment she grew up in, Jasmine is an incredibly empathetic person. Her focus episodes all center around her helping someone out of a difficult situation. She knows well what it's like to be caught in your most vulnerable state, or stuck feeling alone, alienated. However, she firmly believes that there is always hope, that there will be someone out there who will lift you back up, which she strives to be for many of those in their lowest stages. The people she's determined to save mirrors her hopeless self when she was young. Her character is one that's professional and skilled, a result culminated from years of hard work in her field. She's calm, sweet-natured, and is eccentric in the best ways. I love her story of finding happiness amidst friends who accept her for who she is.

Some other yellows I love that aren't on here but happen to be my fav in their corresponding teams are Saki (Go-Onger), Haruka (Donbrothers), and Natsumi (Boukenger).

#mahou sentai magiranger #magiranger #tsubasa ozu #tokusou sentai dekaranger #dekaranger #marika jasmine reimon #jasmine reimon #marika reimon #samurai sentai shinkenger #shinkenger #kotoha hanaori #hanaori kotoha #chisato jougasaki #denji sentai megaranger #megaranger #ressha sentai toqger #toqger #mio natsume #tensou sentai goseiger #goseiger #moune #mashin sentai kiramager #kiramager #tametomo imizu

[felikatze]

gonna talk abt obscure shit again my favorite thing abt the webcomic estio is how it plays on cinderella tropes only to hit you with the "estio is clinically depressed and a bit fucked up actually."

like yeah the start shows him as the poor attic child hated by his peers and family bcuz he can talk to animals which is VERY disney princess of him. and when he ditches it's understandable.

but then it reveals that like. bcuz of the bullying and abuse n empathy mind reading shit he truly does not care for humans at all

like he'll be nice to honest people (honesty as verified by mind-reading) but if you're a piece of shit he'll tell people to kill themselves lmao.

ACTUALLY rlly neat how the comic has that shitty duke go like. "you can read the hearts of animals? just animals? but where is the line to animal drawn? sentience? soul? if you cant answer then you can just read everyone's hearts"

which yeah. tracks. we already knew he can read people too. but then he has to use his powers more for. job security. (we know how it is), and he hates them at first because he can just hear how shitty people are really

but then it introduces honest to god telepathy and the intro is. so benign! he's using telepathy to help a girl understand how to take care of an abused dog. he's helping a man finally get through to his traumatized wife.

then again. where is the line drawn? if he can give people his thoughts, can he give them feelings? impulses?

i'm just rambling at this point but who's gonna stop me. honestly.

his shitty background already establishes a rather. baseline distate for humanity in general and then we have the store lady with the Mood Ring Orb which shows estio's mood as deep black. great sign! and then we have the shitty duke and his shitty son trying to take advantage of estio, so when his life is threatened-

well. turns out he can control people. to make them stab themselves.

and he likes it.

fucking. incredible character development. i geniuenly do love it.

because again!! estio plays on so many princess tropes! he seems like a poor introverted softboy who really needs a hug (he does to be fair) and he's so unassuming at first. and he does do good like rescuing neju and the dog and the guy and his wife.

but he's not naive. at all. after all, he can read minds. how can he be naive if he can hear everyone's true intent? it doesn't matter how lacking his social skills are, there is no ruse he will ever fall for. there's no plot that can escape his notice.

the best character development is just how he learns to love this. it's like. morally not good. but it is banger. what if cinderella told her stepsisters to throw themselves of a bridge.

he's not sad that people died. they wanted to kill him first so they can get bent.

he just killed four people i'm so proud of him <3

and after that he just goes on being his usual unassuming self except now he is Aware that he wields basically unlimited power over everyone and nobody can force him to do anything ever again

except he's also not used to getting his basic needs met meaning he doesn't really. know how to use this for his benefit outside of "no u"-ing at everyone who wants to harm him. like my guy you can keep the big bed and not have feathers in your soup. it's fine. if you sleep outside again you are going to get fucking hypothermia

the writing is a little heavy-handed sometime but his development slaps. go off king

#feli speaks #long post #i get so off track when talking #suicide mention #ig??? on account of the. wow. #estio my beloved #m rereading the entire comic rn #feli obscure interest hour #''ohhh woe is me i have no one to talk to abt thoughts'' #well there's always tumblr. where tf else do i put this shit #i used to write this in a diary before i got tumblr #i'm sure i still have the one that has all my thoughts on the finale of drr

[violentviolette]

Reading your recent impulse control post, the whole "needing to use a lot of conscious energy to control impulses" is so true and is explained really well. I don't know if you've ever had this same experience, but a lot of my impulses are incredibly persistent—to the point that even if I manage to hold them back for some days, acting on them is inevitable; the impulse is simply delayed in the end. it's always inevitable that I'm going to feed into, say, an impulse of buying a switch I will not use even if I manage to hold it back for a couple days. it's literally something I can't ever fully rein in. I'll get the impulse to buy a specific thing, and even if I manage to NOT buy said thing for a while, I will always end up buying it in the end and it's so bad. the only time I ever successfully 'control' the impulse is due to my immense paranoia around spending/saving money, but even that doesn't stop me some of the time. not sure if this counts as impulse control, but it's definitely something I always have to consciously talk myself down from acting on and it's such a damn pain because that feeling of HAVING to act on the impulse doesn't leave in the end majority of the time. it's like a ghost sidekick haunting you every day. I should be banned from having a credit card.

that actually wouldnt qualify as an impulse, but only because of the very specific circumstances. ur definitly right that the sudden urge to buy something because u Want It even if its a bad financial decision or u dont need it is definitly an impulse, and if u bought it right there everytime without stopping urself it would be an issue of impulse control

but since it persists for days and the impulse doesnt pass after uve successfully controlled it and instead keeps reoccuring till u give in to the feeling/thought, then it kind of evolves into being a self control and gratification issue. impulses are classified as quick immediate sudden urges, and then they leave just as quickly. so any feeling that lasts past that first initial thought or moment is no longer an impulse

in this case, it then becomes an issue of gratification. which is something thats super common for cluster b pds and tons of other mental illnesses. we have dysfunctional reward centers in our brains and dont recieve proper chemical rewards for the right executive functions and tasks. this often leads us to have chronically understimulated brains that become very bad at not seeking out immediate hits of dopamine, which is why so many mentally ill people struggle with drug, shopping, and gambling addictions. ur brain wont be satisfied until u give it the hit of dopamine that the action brings and it will just keep eating at u until u do it.

this is super common and something i struggle with a lot. im really bad with money and have been addicted to almost every chemical ive pumped into my body to make it feel something lmfaooooo

so while thats definitly highkey something all cluster b's struggle with its much closer to addiction than strictly impulse control, which isnt to say impulse control doesnt play a big part in addiction, just that what ur describing is more than just impulse control if that makes sense

these are like, much more nuanced distinctions though and like describing that situation as impulse control isnt wrong at all, but the distinctions can be helpful when looking to break down and understand the behavior so u can get better control over it

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #cluster b #cluster b pd #impulse control #cluster b personality disorder

[writingonesdreams]

Hello, hello, and happy sts to you, Dreams~!

Today, I'd like to ask you about Cam. He's a really interesting character, but I realized I don't know too terribly much about him. Do you have any fun fact about him? What's his backstory like?What inspired you to add him into the story? And what are his dynamics like with the other cast members? And anything else along those lines you'd like to ramble about ^^

Hi Ren! Haha I'm glad about your interest in the new boy.^^

Here is all about Cam:

His whole name is Cameron Blake

Cam was a sad brooding child. He was cursed with the ability to feel things very deeply which led to two things. First, that he can understand emotions very easily, usually better than the person themselves and second, that he became very broody and philosophical about expressing and describing his emotions

Cam is sensitive, thoughtful, incredibly emphatetic and likes to analyse himself and others all the time. This makes him feel special and he likes that, but also misunderstood and lost.

Cam realized early on his biggest gift, feeling and understanding emotions, usually just drives people crazy. Because most people aren't nearly as self-aware or self-critical or even want to do the effort of thinking stuff through

He has been told that his attempts to help are unwanted, uncalled for, out of place, that he shouldn't pretend to understand suffering he didn't experience, and that he can't help people that aren't aware of needing help nor ready to accept help. And that most never will be

To ease his miserable lonely unique sad existence, Cam decided to act out on his desires as much as he can. He gave up on being helpful or waiting for the right moment to become helpful and just says whatever he can read from a person. Even better if he gets a reaction out of them

Cam is paranoid about trusting people. He learned early on that people never say what they mean and even worse, usually believe what they say at the same time. So no one really tells the truth and no one is willing to look for it

So Cam solves this problem by poking at people's most hidden little painful cores. He gives them nudges, hints of their looming problems and the need to understand them. It usually hurts. It usually doesn't change anything

He likes dressing fancy and keeping up with trends. Luxury and buying useless stuff and trinkets. Since he became disappointed with society, he became incredibly free of its expectations and rules. He is wasteful, self-indulgent, bold, brutally honest and shameless

Being attractive is important. Being powerful is important. Ways how to make people jealous, angry, really any reaction to get out of them is good

The more he gets to know someone the more he is thinking about the worst possible thing he could say to that person. The more he likes someone, the less likely he is to say it. It's his safe card. Knowledge he could destroy someone makes him feel safe

Cam is cheerful, tardy, forgetful, moody, flirty, provocative, manipulative, very charming when he wants to be. He experiences all ranges of emotions everyday. Starts out depressed, impresses people and feels amused, comes all serious and returns all giggly

Cam seems to be always in control, because he accepted the total lack of control. He is whimsical, impulsive, adventurous and ready to go with whatever the wind brings

Cam doesn't judge people. He knows their worst sides, makes them come out around him, hopes to do so in fact; but he never judges

His favourite things are tragic romance novels, writing bad poetry, standing in the rain and horror. He likes the opportunity to cry and feel like it had a reason

He is completely defenseless to cats, loves dragons, is actually very capable double mage of aural/soulfire magic and the element of electricity and his analytical mind really means he is a genius in praxis about anything he tries out

The character dynamics will be coming in the next few chapters :D

Thanks for the question set, Ren^^

#writeblr #wip: tears of iron #sts #cameron

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

Now this may sound crazy but hear me out. Laito x Kou x Subaru

tw // incest, dark themes, non-con. this post is dark asf. if you don't like that kind of stuff, scroll tf on.

tagging this as incest n shit because i'm not going into this lightly. we all know i love problematic ships. this isn't crazy, this is GENIUS. this has SO MUCH awful toxic potential.

the first thing which makes these 3 an AWFUL combination is the fact that these guys are the 3 characters in DL who i think have BPD. they're all different sub-types. i wrote a post here about why i think subaru has BPD (borderline personality disorder) again i want to make it clear that having BPD does not make somebody inherently abusive. i have BPD too, been diagnosed for 2 years, in therapy for 2 and half years, and medicated heavily for the past year. so again, i know what i'm talking about. if you want to read more about BPD, check out that post first.

and like i said before, people with undiagnosed/untreated BPD can do some really shitty things. it's a trauma response and an explanation for some behaviours, but it's not an excuse.

there's four sub-types of BPD (i'm petulant) and these are what i think subaru, kou and laito have:

Subaru - self-destructive (intense feelings of self-loathing and bitterness, turn to self-destructive behaviours)

Kou - impulsive (difficulty with impulse control, high risk of suicide attempts - kou is the character with the biggest history of suicide attempts)

Laito - petulant (strong need to manipulate or control others, experience dissatisfaction and possessiveness in relationships)

it doesn't take a professional to look through that combination and think, God, without any kind of help or intervention, that'd be FUCKED.

obviously laito isn't a stranger to incest and since subaru was also born out of incest, i feel like there'd be a sense of self-fulfilling prophecy combined with a desire to be loved. if being in a toxic relationship makes him feel like shit then he'd probably take this as being deserved.

i think this twisted fucked up polyam relationship would probably start with subaru and kou being together. i really wouldn't put it past kou to cheat on subaru with laito, especially if laito set his sights on kou and decided he wanted him.

once subaru finds out about kou cheating, i think kou could probably manipulate him into staying, but then somehow laito comes in. at first, i'd say subaru and laito would compete for kou.

since laito has this very strong belief that if you're happy in love, you haven't been hurt enough, i can imagine him going in to hurt subaru, simply out of jealousy that subaru wasn't hurt the way he was by cordelia. i'd say that's where the incest comes in.

i would not be surprised at all if the first instances of sex between laito and subaru was non-consensual. when kou found out he'd definitely be mad but laito is very good at manipulation and i can imagine him coaxing kou into thinking the 3 of them should all be in a relationship.

from that point, i think it'd be a clusterfuck of manipulation, possessiveness and jealousy. if two of them hook up, the other is mad and jealous. this fic has a chapter where laito gets subaru off then kou comes along like "you're mind back off laito". furthermore, kou has a history of suicide attempts both as a kid and in canon (dark fate, dark 10/epilogue) and i DEFINITELY think he'd use that against them.

laito is the most controlling and would definitely love-bomb then pull away. subaru would probably be the one in the most awkward position but he's bold when he needs to be and i can imagine him doing self-destructive shit when the fear of abandonment kicks in.

with that said...

all three of them CAN be incredibly loyal and loving. when they're not in fights or jealous battles competing for each other's attention, i think they'd have fun doing things together. i can 10000% see them getting drunk or doing drugs together. god, don't let me go off on a tangent and talk about them being drug addicts too. not to mention, when they're in a loving mood, i think the threesomes would be WILD, in a good way.

so, yeah, i think this a good ship IF you like problematic stuff.

#ask #anon #// incest #again this is NOT going in the main tag #don't like don't read

[kittymaine]

The Dark Star That Shines For You by NISIOISIN

Because I am a dumbass with no impulse control, I bought the Kodansha bundle on Humble Bundle. I was immediately filled with regret, because I don't think I've ever enjoyed a light novel in my life, but hey now I have about a hundred of them. To the great misfortune of myself and you all, I guess I've got to read them.

So, I started with, The Dark Star That Shines For You by NISIOISIN. This is the first in a series called Pretty Boy Detective Club, which so far has three books.

Within Yubiwa Middle School, there is a rumor of a secret club called the Pretty Boy Detective Club. Nobody knows who belongs to the club or exactly what they do, but the rumors say they're nothing but trouble. Our protagonist is Mayumi Dojima, a second year student at Yubiwa, who has been looking for a star that she saw while on vacation since she was four years old. She has promised her parents that she will stop looking once she turns fourteen, and it is the last night before her birthday when she'll have to give up her dream. As she stands on the roof of her school at night, gazing forlornly at the sky, a plucky and mysterious young boy approaches her and offers her the help of the Pretty Boy Detective Club to find her star before her time is up.

I really feel like I shouldn't be 'reviewing' (for a given value of reviewing) this book, because it was so incredibly not for me. A lot of the things I didn't like about it, I am aware are things that are kind of the whole point of light novels, so I'm going to try and keep my criticisms to things that I think some light novels haven shown they can do well.

My primary complaint would be that I found the protagonist very bland. She's meant to be a sort of Watson-type character, one who in later books I suspect will only contribute sparingly and will instead mostly be used as a device for the audience to view the story from. But, because this initial story revolves around her, I think the overall story suffered. She takes very little or no action most of the time, she has only one notable trait that sets her apart from everyone else, and most of her dialogue is her setting herself up so the other characters can either make fun of her or explain something. It doesn't help that she spends the entire story telling us, the reader, that both she and the detective boys are awful people, until the third act when she changes her tune.

Some more minor complaints would be that none of the kids act like kids. I'm sure some of that is sort of the point, seeing as all the boys meant to be secret geniuses, but they're also supposed to be between 12–15 years old, so I guess I expected them to be a little more earnest or self-involved or something. But they all, protagonist included, walk and talk like adults for the most part, including having really deep discussions about what it means to have a dream, what is the real meaning of beauty, etc. Another minor complaint would be that a lot of the dialogue is jokes and none of the jokes landed for me, though maybe that cultural.

Positives! I actually really did like the cast of boy detectives, and I honestly wanted to know more about them. Even though I would say I had a pretty lackluster experience with this book, I am considering reading the next one just to see if they reveal more about the rest of the characters and their backstories. We just got little tiny hints at what their backgrounds are like, and I am thirsty to learn more. Plus, this book was so tiny, like 250 pages and maybe not even that. I feel like I can get through at least one more book to see if I get some character backgrounds.

Anyway, uh... If you like light novels, please don't listen to me. I'm sure you know what you like anyway. If you don't like light novels, this one didn't really convert me, so I can't in good faith recommend it. Maybe I'll find one in this bundle that I do like, though! Stay tuned for more news from the front.

#the dark star that shines for you #pretty boy detective club #nisioisin #light novel #booklr #booktalk

[notthestarwar]

character traits I'm looking for in a blorbo:

Familial love above all else, against the odds. Family- Loving someone you know is doomed as you couldn't not. You can't save someone from themselves. You can't save your brother.

A stolen childhood. Violence as a given, you're good at it but does that make you an awful person? If you could choose, you'd choose anything but. A life that can only kill you but which you seem to have no escape. One crap card dealt after the other. Learning how to show love and care for people long after you should have and understanding things that adults struggle with long before you should have. You were that kid who was 'Mature for their age' knew how bills worked and housekeeping. How to read people. but now as an adult you've no idea how to make friends?? To talk to people???

The need to protect. Aquiring a child because they deserve better than what you got. Being sure anyone is better than you but not leaving them till you find it. Well if you can't find it, guess you'll have to become it

Intelligence- high. Emotional intelligence-nil

Perpetrator who refuses to see themselves as anything but a victim. A shitty situation that made them what they are but didn't make them do what they chose to do. Everyone around them can see they are the problem.

Then, 2 flavours:

- thinks they are helping, making everything worse

- trying to do better and doing better, but thinking they make everything worse

If it isn't there I'll probably just imagine it is there.

It's gotta be sad but funny OK. Doomed from the beginning, but life is amusingly absurd. Absurd like absurdist? No, as in: its just stupid. Their life is a joke

Here's what I'm giving:

Jango-

-The emotionally distant parent who you kind of feel bad for at first,

-you understand why they are fucked up but then they keep doing increasingly shit things Which are getting harder and harder to rationalise

-While the stuff at the start was incredibly shit and bad luck, you're beginning to realise everything lately is self inflicted

-Had a bad childhood but is now determinedly creating much worse ones for his kids and is refusing to see it

-No friends, he's rejected most of them. Now only a few old ones left who are around to try and save his kids and have given up on him

- you look back at when he was young and can't believe how well intentioned he was??? What happened

- in with a terrible crowd, only interested in making him worse and definitely not calling themselves his friends

Padme-

-Burnt out child star.

-Life is spiralling out of control- this is fine

-Set on a course of self destruction

-Increasingly erratic. Contradictory. -Actually quite good at her job but as soon as she's not at work she does a load of things that are ultimately going to end her career

-All the handmaidens waiting for it to blow

-Retail therapy

-Impulse celebrity wedding. What do these 2 even have in common

Anakin-

- had a terrible childhood through no fault of his parents

- since he was like 10 they've been trying really hard to make up for that. He can't see it

- he is completely oblivious. Every time they lovingly try and fail to cut him off so he stops landing in jail, he's convinced they hate him

- weird creepy old man friend. Keeps buying him gifts. He's completely oblivious to the weirdness

- complete man child

- landed a incredibly hot competent girlfriend, you have no idea how. Maybe she thinks she can fix him? She isn't trying very hard

- is a mentor to a teenager, his dad set it up to try and get him to straighten up. He's completely led her astray and she's dropped out of school and nobody can get hold of her. Too busy drag racing

-ridiculously intelligent. Could have like been an astronauts or an inventor or something and cured some disease. More interested in programing droids to pull pranks. Complete underachiver

- only friends are pre mentioned old man, a droid, his girlfriend and the cousin who's pretty much given up on him and is out of the county (aayla)

Obi Wan-

-complete overachiver

- emotional intelligence 0

- refuses to admit how badly his emotionally distant father affected him

- unwilling and unknowing step in the generational trauma cycle

-drops devastating bits of backstory when you least expect it and will not elaborate

- thinks that he drags people down and so tries to push them away before they get hurt/ reject him

- sacrificed his adult life so he could raise his father's secret child. Immediately dropped out of college, went to parenting classes and became the biggest pushy parent known to man but can't just tell him he loves him.

-tries to make everything a lesson. Anakin is not receptive. Feels like he's being picked on/ can't do anything right

- raves about Anakin to everyone but anakin.

- Has pictures he likes to show everyone, causing much confusion to old ladies on public transport as his 'son' looks his age.

-The council ban him from talking about Anakin as he interrupts every meeting with a 'funny'/isn't my son great story

-completely blames himself for everyone in his life being terrible

- it is his fault but only because he has no time for the decent people and spends all his time trying to predict and hide Anakins next fuck up

- is just a nice dude so everyone in his life tries to keep in contact and help him out even if he's a total drain who never replies and can't ever accept help

- convinced he got his job out of nepotism but its 100% just because he's good at it

- only attracted to people who are bad for him. If you aren't mean to him he thinks you hate him.

Cody-

- massively intelligent, massively competent, could have been anything but he's here, doing the job his dad refused to do himself And looking after his brothers

- his dad is just the worst guy ever but he refuses to acknowledge it as he doesn't think its fair on his siblings (they all hate the guy too and don't understand why he's so forgiving. Apart from the youngest who loves every part of their dad and hates Cody as he thinks he's competition)

- terrified of becoming Jango

- gets overwhelmed by any of the emotional stuff and so most of his siblings think they resent him but actually they are the only good thing in his life

- constantly doing stuff behind the scenes for his brothers but fucks up every time he tries to tell them he loves them

- his boss is a mess but actually a nice guy, why does he work here??? He tries to make the guy go home and eat and was trying to get him to resign as this place is eating him up but the guy just thought it was because he wanted his job and so promoted him so now they are like doing the same job??

- he refuses to acknowledge this because that guys boss is an arsehole (palps) so instead they are stuck in this passive aggressive race to do the others paperwork

- maybe a little bit in love with his boss but really embarrassed about it. Frankly, Cody deserves better than that guy who can't even remember to eat and unrequitedly loving your boss is such a cliche. Cody is above it

- has somehow unwillingly started looking out for Anakin though he knows it's a lost cause. Bails him out of jail sometimes when his brother (fox) tells him he's in the cells to save Obi Wan a job

- is pretty sure his boss is in some kind of cult and is just too nice to admit it. Knows nothing about the Jedi as he really doesn't need to. Assumes random people are jedi.

- his brothers are obsessed with the Jedi and very jealous that he shares a office with kenobi. Keep asking him to introduce them to random jedi/mention them in convo

- wants custody of his younger brothers but knows he has no chance. Keeps thinking if he works hard enough he can end the war and try and get them off their terrible guardians who are clearly only in it for the money. As it is, has to wait till his brothers are old enough to age out and come to him

Fox

- sings to himself (nobody will ever believe you)

- covertly 'steals' decommissioned clones. Nobody knows but they do think it's a bit strange how everyone on the guard is either injured or has some kind of personality flaw/Impulse control problem

- has a sweet tooth and has been known to steal the syrups from the senators tea room (a crime that is surely not worth the reward)

- likes to manufacture small inconveniences for people that wrong him or his brothers (a favourite game of Cody's)

- rarely goes to bed. When he does he just lays there plotting.

- Hates his boss. Hates him. Thinks everyone knows he's evil and nobody cares

- secretly obsessed with animals and children. Pretends he doesn't know how the stray tookas keep getting in the building (he's covertly feeding them)

-prematurely grey

- has a tally chart scratched in to the wall of his bunk for every senator that's wronged him or his brothers (its in code (there's a betting ring running the odds of what he's counting))

- convinced he's inheritly evil and that every one of his brothers is an incredible person to whom he's a great embarrassment

- doesn't let himself care about anyone but his brothers

- acts like he doesn't care about them and is always trying to get away from them but then fixes everything while they are sleeping

- has a collection of random shit he's found being thrown away in his office. Can't walk past anything free. Lots of sponsored things. Many mugs. Lots of bizarre shit, many hats.

- Always bringing suspicious smelling/ looking plants in to the guard halls. Most are plastic.

- has a line of chairs in the hall by his office for shiney's to sit on while they wait to Talk to him (no1 topic: why the hell aren't I dead. Did you have something to do with this?)

- saves Fives and fakes his death. soon realises the man is more trouble than he's worth it's a constant job for the guard keeping him from killing the chancellor. (even though Fox keeps telling him its not a conspiracy, everyone knows.(nobody knows)) Would do it again in a heart beat

- whenever anyone visits the guard he runs around trying to disguise any 'dead clones' that might be recognised (he's terrible at this. More than once he's handed someone a plant and told them to 'be a tree' he pretty much thinks that if their face is covered it's a done deal. He's tried to put a sticker over Fives tattoo more than once.) There's a guard commander running behind him actually disguising them.

Wolffe-

- very scary

- the softest of all

- can't say no to a shiny so tries to be intimidating so they won't ask

- whenever his batchers ask for something he says no and is mean about it and then does it covertly anyway

- will never admit it was him

- is one half of a pair. Him and his general are on a mission to adopt the whole gar

- someone keeps getting to the 'faulty' clones before they do

- him and Plo have a memorial on board for the vode they lost

- always knows what's going on with his batchers before they tell him. If they try and leave medbay early they get a message before they're out the door (is it automatically scheduled??? How does he know?)