#heartaches

[shehasfallennn]

It was heartbreaking when I heard her whisper,

“How do you look at someone in their eyes and pretend you do not love them?”

Rie Jules

#books #books & libraries #prose #poem #heartaches #heartbreak #tragic #tragedy #sad thoughts #love quotes #love #romance

[sapphic-bats]

If I, say, began writing a post-season two fic that had to do with the Second Coming and a bunch of succubi/incubi and lords of Hell getting restless, would anyone be interested?

#no surprisingly it is not smut at all #but it’s a fix-it fix #for our #good omens #heartaches #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #get ready for chapters to be posted #maybe later today #soooooo #really delves deep into #religious studies #and hierarchies of the nine choirs of angels and whatnot #so if there are any other #religion nerds #out there #come join me #please #I love studying #religious lore #and am non-religious #okay cool I guess this is now #sapphic bats #talking #sapphic talks

[duckit7]

Online Dating Can Be Hard 16

I hope you all are having a great day! Enjoy! And as always my work contains strong language.

---------------

Cam didn’t text me all week. Probably because he was talking with Sara. I thought about texting him a couple times but voted against it. I didn’t want to be overbearing. My heart ached. I would wake up everyday hoping to see a text from him. All day I would be on edge waiting, but as night would roll around, I accepted that he wouldn’t text… I was just the old toy he got bored of playing with.

The friend group chat was as active as usual, but I didn’t even give it a glance. I didn’t want to see what Cam was saying and frankly I didn’t want to see anyone period. I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my sorrow. I didn’t truly understand how deeply I wanted Cam in my life until now. Until he moved so far out of reach.

As I laid on my couch staring at my ceiling fan with Lilith on my chest I tried to will my heart to stop loving him. No matter what, though, I couldn’t get him off my mind. I traced my fingers where he placed his tiny hands the night we danced. The night I almost kissed him. When I should have told him I loved him. Would things be different now if I would have had the courage back then?

---------

The walk with Sara after game night was quiet. She tried to make small talk but I just wasn’t in the mood. When we finally reached her hotel room she ran her hands over my chest and asked if I wanted to come up. I told her that it was late and I had to wake up early for work so I was going to pass. She badgered me to give her my phone so she could give me her number. She then texted herself my number so she had it. I didn’t want her to have my number, but I was so emotionally numb that I didn’t care anymore.

She texted me consistently throughout the week. At first I would text her back, but by the middle of the week I told her that I was too busy and didn’t want to keep texting her. I wished her good luck with her life and deleted her number. She didn’t text me after that. Heidi noticed my low mood at work and was kind enough not to prod. Every night I went home to a quiet apartment where the only sound was the humming of the appliances. Our group chat continued on like usual, but I didn’t even look at it. I couldn’t bring myself to even see Kate’s name.

I trudged home from work at the end of the week in the first snow of the season. My head down, lost in the dark thoughts that consumed my mind. About a ¼ mile from my home I heard someone call my name. My brain didn’t register the voice till they called again. Kate. I sped up my steps. I knew it was futile, but I didn’t want to see her. I couldn’t turn around and face the elephant in the room just yet. So I let my tiny legs fast walk as far as they could before a dark shadow cast over me. I knew the gig was up then as I came to a stop. I still couldn’t bring myself to turn around. I could feel Kate gently lower herself to the ground but still I remained facing straight forward.

“Cam…” I could feel Kate reaching for me as she spoke. I put my hand up to stop her before turning to face her. Her touch was unwelcomed at the moment and it was best to get this over as fast as possible. “Cam can we talk?” she said. Her voice was level and caring.

Anger started to bubble up from deep within me. “It’s not like I can run away from someone 10 times my size so I guess so.” I snapped.

Kate was taken back.

----------

Cam’s comment made me sick to my stomach. Never once did I want to make Cam feel trapped because of my size and yet here we were. Part of me wanted to just walk away and give him space, but I knew I wasn’t going to get an opportunity like this again. So, I pressed on.

“Cam, I’m not trying to corner you or anything. I just wanted to see how you were doing and stuff. I haven’t heard from you all week so I figured you were with Sara. I thought about texting but I didn’t want to bother you…” I said, trying to keep my tone even to deescalate the situation.

Cam fired back at me, “Oh now you care about me. After you pushed Sara on me. I don’t even like her! Do you really think I am that pathetic that you have to play matchmaker. And don’t play dumb. I have heard you say to others that you don’t know how I am single. But guess what Kate. I can find my own fucking partner. You don’t have to go meddling with your giant ass fingers in my love life.”

I looked at him with shock and said “I didn’t push anyone on you! I wasn’t trying to play match maker! I only invited her because I thought I was being nice! Then you two seemed to like each other from the start so I figured you liked her.”

Cam glared at me “She liked me off the bat! I didn’t care for her whatsoever. I just was trying to be cordial and nice!”

“I was just trying to be nice too! That’s why I invited her over!” I exclaimed.

Cam waved a dismal hand, “Yeah whatever you say. You just so happened to bring a girl over who seemed to know all about me and immediately fell in love with me just because you were ‘trying to it would be nice.’ Whatever you have to say to yourself to sleep at night Kate.”

 Cam then turned to walk away but was stopped when a hand came to rest softly in his way.

 “Cam stop… Please… I’m really not lying. If I knew she would upset you so much I would have never invited her. I care too much about you and our friendship to do something to jeopardize it.” I said softly.

Cam whipped around with tears welling in his eyes. “Don’t say that!” His voice cracked with emotion. “Don’t say such things haphazardly. You don’t know what your words do to me…”

I held my breath as I looked down at the tiny man who was now shaking in front of me. Parvuses and humans alike were looking at us as they passed, but I didn’t care. “Cam…” I said as I pulled a hand closer to him, but he just pushed it away.

“Stop Kate!” He screamed. “I hate you Kate!” His voice dripped with venom. He continued, “I hate you. I hate that you are so nice but clueless. I hate that you care. I hate how you toy with me! I hate it Kate and I’m done! I can’t take any more!”

I let a deep breath out as I fought back my own tears. “Cam I’m not trying to toy with you and I’m sorry I am clueless… please… just tell me what I can do to make this better…”

Cam scoffed, “Leave. That will make this better.”

I opened my mouth to protest but closed it again. Cam didn’t want me there so I should respect his wishes. I stood and left. I didn’t look back once as I walked home.

#g/t #duck it #giant/tiny #wholesome giantess #cam and kate #let the angst continue #relationship problems #venting feelings #heartaches

[bob3cat23]

Heartaches by Al Bowlly is so Lucy Gray coded i dont even think i have too explain

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #lucy gray baird #al bowlly #heartaches #olease #listen to me #pls pls i need it #lucy gray x coral

[unxheard]

And yet, you gave it a try.

Because you were too stubborn and too dumb to actually understand that it will never change even if you try. You like it better feeling the pain after rather than ignore not feeling everything at all. That's how tragic you are. You like to feel it all deeply until it makes you crazy. Now look at you, full of thoughts about him yet he never even had a thought about you.

Tragic, miserable, sad.

#relationship quotes #inspiring quotes #catastrophe #Love #Risks #Pain #Heartaches

[titleknown]

...Okay, on Wikipedia, I found out about this cover of Al Bowly’s “Heartaches” by the Marcels in 1961.

Needless to say “Everywhere At The End of Time would have been very different had they used this version.

#good music #doo-wop #heartaches #everywhere at the end of time #the caretaker #the marcels #tonal dissonance #silly #good

[leeclaudine]

Claudine. Just do this life shit on your own. It's just better that way anyways.. to not find disappointment. You gotta just think you're on this on your own. Best to keep it that way.

#motivation #personal #heartaches

[coming-of-age-witch]

from now i pledge to associate crushes with heartaches and not a "oh so funnnnn" experience.

#crushes #teen crush #crush problems #i fucking hate em #they'll just crap talk #heartaches #super dissapointed #not suprised #at all really #haha.

[fairydustfromhell]

#heartaches #al bowlly #Spotify #music

[fawnuh]

Accidentally ordered french toast with a side of french toast at Goodness Gracious today. As soon as I took a bite heartaches started playing over the speakers. FML

#french toast #goodness gracious #everywhere at the end of time #eateot #i forgor #heartaches #fml #real life

[phoebusdw]

Hypocrite

No matter how much I tell that I'm only after the friendship

After knowing all about the aftermaths of my mistake, your side of the story, and reminiscing the past

A part of me wants you back

A part of me hopes you'd be back

A part of me low-key wishing for you to be my person

A part of me silently praying to universe

For you and I continue writing the love story we yet to have

#Sorry #TOTGA #wishing #unsaid thoughts #heartaches #heartbreak #hopelessly in love

[shehasfallennn]

i wanted so bad to tell you i'm okay and that it doesn't hurt,

but i cannot keep on ignoring this piercing feeling in my heart whenever i remember you can go through your days and weeks without knowing how i truly am.

“i wanna know how you do it without missing me one bit” – Rie Jules

#books #books & libraries #prose #poem #love quotes #lovers #romance #heartbreak #heartaches #sad thoughts #foryou #tragic #tragedy #love #i love him

[innervoiceart]

Al Bowlly: Heartaches

Al Bowlly sings "Heartaches" with Sid Phillips & His Melodians.

#youtube #Al Bowlly #Heartaches #Sid Phillips & His Melodians #retro music loves #let's sing #Mum's favourite #nostalgia

[duffertube]

Elmo Tanner (with orchestra conducted by Billy Vaughan) - Heartaches (1953)

Source: WFMU’s Beware The Blog

#Elmo Tanner #Billy Vaughan #Heartaches #Music #MP3

[cobblebones]

august sobs and so does my heart. i sleep.

#writing #my cobble- #heartaches #as a desperate one to be a child of #poetry #/ #cobblebones

[artofflorescence]

listening to “heartaches” (al bowlly) while thinking about the whole everywhere at the end of time album while doomscrolling while procrastinating while dreading everything i’m putting off sure feels like a burning memory, if you know what i’m saying.

(i’m going off the deep end. i am about to forget everything.)

#everywhere at the end of time #heartaches #jazz #al bowlly #hi my name is existential dread