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obsob · 3 months

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i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

#and also. am a ilittlel kitty :3 #mine #cats #brain empy. felt tip cats ONLY #we were promised snow today n then they decided actually :) rain all day for u #i bought new wool for a cardigan today im SO excited its gna be so colourful #i was going to do some sort of Thing on the back like a heart or something but im still too scared to do colour changing stuff #maybe....maybe next time #i think i will try a patter w like. an actual grid with it first rather than just rawdog it #bc i . do not know what im doing :3

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inkskinned · 2 years

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fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

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shadowtraveled · 2 months

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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

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livingwellnessblog · 8 months

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The Divine Gateway: Ht 7 Acupuncture Point and Its Esoteric Significance

In acupuncture, each point holds a unique and profound significance. One such point is Ht 7, also known as Shenmen or "Spirit Gate."

The Divine Gateway: Ht 7 Acupuncture Point and Its Esoteric Significance In acupuncture, each point holds a unique and profound significance. One such point is Ht 7, also known as Shenmen or “Spirit Gate.” This acupuncture point, located on the wrist, is not only recognized for its therapeutic benefits but also revered for its esoteric uses and ancient theory. The name itself, Shenmen, offers a…

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#access #Acupuncture #acupuncture therapy #annabackacupuncture #body mind spirit #divine gateway #Esoteric acupuncture #heart brain #herbs #malibu #san pedro #south shores #wellness

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monoidea · 6 months

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#zolu #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #one piece #one piece fanart #i have died three thousand deaths already and i'm still dying over them #they live rent free in my heart and brain and soul

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iskander-tm · 1 month

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He's loved

#star trek #star trek tos #tos #mr spock #spock #leonard mccoy #kirk #james t kirk #idk how their ship called #I saw someone called them brain heart bones #so it be #brain heart bones

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juicyreptile · 5 months

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Jack Harkness, the most offended he's ever been or will be in his life: You telling me that there were TWO Doctors in the same place, at the same time, both with barely any clothes on, doing strenuous activities, and NOT A SINGLE PERSON INVITED ME??

#jack harkness #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #dw 60th #fourteenth doctor #fifteenth doctor #lets be real tho if jack was there 15 would have gone up and kissed him full on the lips #and jack would have had three simultaneous heart attacks a brain aneurysm and spontaneously combust at once and be out for a week straight

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davidjrpalos · 2 months

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my warm heart for your cold hands

#art #artists on tumblr #illustration #graphite #black and white #self #sketchbook #heard the cold hands warm heart saying when I was young and it never exited my brain #traditional art

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 2 months

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another little barn for us all while we Anticipate <3

#*clenches fist* he's just a little guy...#i think that nervouscitement for the updates #makes my brain lunge at puppy barn to stay Sane <3 #he calms me... in all forms but This One. oh this one. squeezing him!#That Book Is So Wonky But I Couldnt Fix It! Oopsie Fucking Daisy!#no time to care about a book when im doodling barnaby-#scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #barnaby b beagle #your honor i love him and i cant wait to see More of him!#opening up the heart shaped locket of him In My Mind and gazing wistfully at it #what will happen i wonder :]c

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conspicuous-clown-car · 9 months

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AAAAAAAAAUUUGGHHHHH

themb ;w;

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uselessimpulses · 4 months

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so like theyre an old married couple theyre divorced theyre frantic teens in love

#im miserable theyre so doomed and in love and always will be despite being DOOMED #physically unwell over them im literally begging for them to hug on screen just once #trigun 98 youre wildin n i love you so much #trimax you will always hold a special place in my heart and you melt my brain i am not gods strongest soldier release me from this war #trigun #trigun stampede #tristamp #trigun maximum #trimax #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #vashwood

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tacticalanxiety · 2 months

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Psst, wanna drop that ugly towel? 👀

NSFW BELOW THE CUT - MDNI

#i didnt think id post this #but your girl broke a sweat on this one #and her brain #and her heart #so i couldnt not share right?#johnny soap mactavish #cod fanart #call of duty fanart #call of duty #john soap mactavish #digital painting #fanart #soap mactavish #soap cod #cod #cod mw3 #john mactavish #johnny mactavish #my art

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ryssbelle · 3 months

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Had a silly dream where JD and Floyd came back to the troll tree before the last trollstice but after singing killed their grandma and decided to doodle and expand upon it a bit

Clay never left the tree but was too scared to return to the families pod since he didn’t want things to go back to how they were before, he did try to find his brothers during the escape but got separated by the cave in.

John Dory was the one to find Clay and see him get caught by the cave in, when he came out of the tunnel without Clay and holding his wristband they all just assumed he was dead. Even so JD still searches for Clay with the hope that he might’ve escaped and is alive out there.

They know Bruce is alive but after JD got the post card he assumed Bruce didn’t want to be found

Some more doodles that kind of show their dynamic