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a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual · 1 year

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ROTTMNT Headcanons: I finally finished moving so y’all get me back

Here’s how I think the family would react to moving (cause I have no imagination)

April: would try to hide how much the move affects her

She would move all her stuff out of her old apartment the second she got the keys

And she would unpack the second she gets into the new place

She would also throw a housewarming party/multiple sleepovers so she doesn’t feel so alone

The boys have moved a lot but some handle it better than others

Raph: would try to stay strong for his siblings

He would try to stay optimistic and help his siblings plan out their rooms

But he is a very emotional and sentimental person

So the second they get to the new place he’s bawling like a baby

And it takes him a long time to get adjusted to the new place

Leo: would handle the move the best

Even though he’s a sentimental person he’s also a firm believer that home is not a place it’s the people he surrounds himself with

He also thrives under pressure and craves change

He makes an internal schedule so the moving process is swift and efficient

But he also gives his siblings just enough time to grieve

Donnie: handles change the absolute worst

At first, he would refuse to move and he would make a whole PowerPoint presentation about how their home is just fine the way it is

And when he realizes it doesn't matter what he says they’re still going to move so he shuts down

His siblings pester him to help

He’ll try to pack and unpack but he kind of gets in the way cause he’s stuck in his head

Casey: is right alongside Donnie

He fucking hates moving it reminds him of the future

The family tries to give him some stability but they also know they can’t stay stagnant forever

Unlike Donnie, Casey is really helpful during the moving process but he does mope during the entire process

Mikey: it really depends

Like Leo, he loves change and hates staying in one place for too long

But the second he notices how it’s affecting his siblings he starts getting sad too

April Leo and Mikey try to cheer the group up and sometimes it works and sometimes they let their siblings go through the cycle of grieving the past

So Leo has a lucky rock in “air turtle” and has enough rocks on him to replace his siblings in “flushed but never forgotten”

He definitely has a rock and crystal collection

He gave them all black tourmaline, and amethyst after season 2 for protection and to help with grief

He gave April citrine for good luck

Raph got a Rose Quartz to help with his anxiety (and to improve his self-love)

Donnie gets a Pyrite to help cleans him of all the bad juju technology brings

Casey gets Hematite to help ground him

Mikey gets Carnelian to boost his creativity

And there are times when Leo will force the whole group to stop because he saw a sick ass rock on the sidewalk

Donnie has gotten into serious arguments that go something along the lines of “no Leo I won't stop the tank so you can go get a dirty disgusting rock off the side of the road I’ve already done that three times today”

So it’s pretty obvious that Leo will say random shit in Spanish every once and a while

And I was thinking “the boys definitely copy that right?”

Like every once in a while you just hear Raph go “dónde está my wallet?”

And sometimes Mikey will say shit like “he’s a little… cómo se dice insane in the membrane”

Donnie also has a terrible habit of yelling “WHAT?” When he can’t hear someone

And it annoys the shit out of Splinter

He always tells him “don’t yell ‘what’ that’s rude”

So he yells “QUÉ?” Instead (cause he’s technically not saying what)

Leo also has a tough time saying “I love you”

And for some reason saying it in Spanish is easier (probably cause he was under the assumption that his siblings didn’t know what it meant)

So he always ends the conversation with “te amo” no matter how pissed he is

And it wasn’t until his siblings responded with “te amo más” that he realized they knew what he meant this whole time

And he’s weirdly okay with that

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #save rottmnt #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt april #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt donnie #disaster twins #this move has taken 15 years off my life #these have been in my archive forever #and by forever I mean 4 days

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redheadlesbianfreak · 1 year

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the fandom ask: either tmnt 2003 or mario (cause i've seen you reblog luigi (the king) and i am curious)

Oh man, this is going to be a hard one to choose! I think I'll do TMNT 2003 because it's on the brain right now. Keep in mind that I haven't watched Fast Forward or whatever tf season 7 is called (I think it's Back to the Sewers??). Believe me, I tried... I don't like it.

The first character I ever fell in love with: April in her biker outfit.

My ultimate favorite character: Michelangelo. It's always going to be him. Donnie is a very close second (love their dynamic).

Prettiest character: Karai and April.

My most hated character: It's easily The Ancient One. That guy is just a bundle of offensive stereotypes, good god. I also really don't like Utrom Shredder very much.

My OTP: April/Casey! I love these two in this show.

My NOTP: I really don't like Raph/Joy wtf was going on with those two lmao. I also don't think that Leo/Karai was meant to be read as romantic at all, I think they had a tragic friendship. Not sure where people got that from (other than them being a guy and a girl). I'm just grateful that romance wasn't a huge thing in 2003 save for April/Casey.

Favorite episode: This is a really tough one for me because there are so many episodes I love from this show. I adored all the famous episodes that everyone talks about, such as Good Genes, Same As It Never Was, Insane in the Membrane, etc. So I'll say The Darkness Within because I loved the horror in that episode. Shoutout to "Grudge Match" and "The Christmas Aliens."

Saddest death: Oh man, that monster Bishop made where it turned out he used to be a human with a wife and family. Also, pretty much everything that happens to Baxter Stockman. He doesn't die, but his fate is even worse than death.

Favorite season: Seasons 2-4 is where the show is at its strongest. I think it's a tie between seasons 2 and 3.

Least favorite season: Season 5. I still enjoyed myself, but oh boy, does the quality tank for this season.

Character that everyone else in this fandom loves, but I hate: The Ancient One. Once again, this guy's portrayal is so racist, why does nobody talk about this???

My 'you're a piece of trash, but you're still a fave' fave: Bishop. He's probably my all-time favorite TMNT villain. I love this guy, what a fantastic villain.

My 'beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this' fave: DONNIE. POOR GUY. He's just a nice dude who takes care of the homeless and tinkers away, stop tormenting him!

My 'they're kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I'm not too invested' ship: Leosagi, which is a controversial one because we don't know Leo or Usagi's canon ages. This is another one I get but I'm not super into it. Most of the time, this ship is fanon, and it kinda feels like people make a huge deal out of this ship because they want a romantic relationship to ship. I don't really get that appeal when it comes to TMNT but to each their own.

You may have noticed that I didn't answer many of the ship questions and that's because TMNT 2003 is one of my gen fandoms. I love the familial relationships and friendships in this show, but there aren't many ships I'm super into. I love watching TMNT to see a bunch of mutant dudes become a dysfunctional and sweet family. <3

#tmnt 2003 #ask game #sorry for answering late i had a super busy week #thank you for this ask it was super fun!#maybe i will do something with super Mario bros #because i love my boy luigi

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night-vale-s-new-neighbour · 1 year

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Year 1 - Episode 4 : PTA Meeting

Notes in messy order:

Warning ! long post !

i haven't hear a second of audio but goooood i hope cecil is ok. I mean, i'm basically 100% sure he is fine but i got attched to him what can i say. I'm litterally parasocial for a fake person let's go

He is ok ! he sounds ok at least (talking about death and the insignificance of life)

i'm getting fucking information overload. I keep thinking this can't get worse but it does. what is a teranedon ? ohh pteranedon, the flying dinos NOT THE EASY TO USE AUDIO EDITING SOFTWARE !!!! with what spiders now ? oh thoat spiders ? oh that s great :)

oh fuck election season. "everyone votes for the correct council seats, and there is no confusion" UM PARDON ????? LITTERAL DICTATORSHIP ???? I've been saying this since the very beginning ????? "unknown location that everyone knows is the abandonned mineshaft" great job government, being real sly ????? they have king sized beds ? "Remember this is america. Vote correctly !" is a bit of a chilling sentence. i think "vote correctly" is the one that gets me the most the piano in the back goes hard btw

ok, community journal. weird ad but ok. Oh it was a total accident, cool nothing to see here

i dont really know what a PTA is. But the fact that the portal didnt close is a bit disconcerning. Usually the supernatural events in nightvale go away pretty quickly. OH GOD THEIR HEADS WERE CHOPPED ok they didnt die. thank god 'lmao so like, people are going insane here so how about we dont consider metal health as like….. a health issue anymore <3 ?'

"are we safe from dinosaures ? no waaay B)"

ok basically ever single thing in my house. Oh Cool, Great.

Oh no suspicious. HAHAHHHA the sign litterally keeping them safe -> this is soooo cliche like argh get original already no carlos QWQ ? CARLOS <33333333333333 ok doesnt sound too happy about it. Cecil, man, chill, carlos is just a guy

FUCK oh nevermind pterodactyl are basically the same things as pteranedon (hears far away dino nerd/pos scream) oh they arent even dinos, great OK WAIT WHAT ???????? HOW DO YOU GO FROM 0 TO 38 ???? i legit sat up when i heard that

so we are just gonna skip over that for baseball ? nevermind, ya fuck desert team. ????????????? no more hands ?

appartment building etiquette wow why do i know he is about to be the angry neighbour haha bro, i feel the exact same why, like when my wall is leaking with membrane ARGH the worst We are all in this togetherrr honeslty, ya reasnable

CARLOS :DDDDDD ??? oh nevermind, it's just a hooded figure. wow ! that was horrifying :D

weather sonnnnnnng (((o(°▽°)o))) it's a very nice song, sounds kinda sad tho :(

sounds like cap but ok UMMMMMMM ?????? PARDON ???? awww :( wait what a raffle ? please dont think of the dog park.

"we are not history yet, we are happening now" i fucking love this quote. what a banger of a line

goodnight cecil :)

#liveblogging #welcome to night vale #night vale liveblog #year 1 episode 4: PTA Meeting #notes

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4mulaone · 2 years

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charles leclerc being so crazy at quali is one of his many talents but by far the one that makes me the most diabolically insane

#best qualifier bc he is insane in the membrane . period #he was held back for 2 years but now saturdays are over for the rest of the grid.#I LOVE DEBUT YEAR MOST POLES IN THE SEASON STATISTIC LOOKING ASS BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAA #charles leclerc

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tinkertayler · 3 years

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Love, Loyalty, Power, Insanity.

You know that part in “Meltdown” where Aeryn says "I love it when you take control" and John says "That's the drexim talking" and Aeryn raises her eyebrows and says "No it isn't". That part makes me FERAL, every time, because while I know it might seem like just a sexy, flirty, throwaway exchange, it's honestly anything but.

John Crichton is an unhinged bastard with whom Aeryn is hopelessly in love. She is willing to follow him anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances. She’ll follow him to the ends of the universe, into the face of mortal danger, and down paths that lead to almost certain death, again and again (and again). She would quite literally follow him into the swirling, all-consuming, universe-destroying vortex of a wormhole if he asked her to (and eventually, he will). She loves him. She respects him. She believes in him. She is loyal to him beyond good sense or reason, and is willing to commit herself to every single one of his impossible, insane, foolhardy plans.

"I love it when you take control" she says, and oh, it's true. When she says it, I can't help but think about the many times throughout the seasons we see just how true it is.

Exhibit A: Liars, Guns and Money (s2)

John is at peak instability at the end of this season and he presents a crackpot plan to the group. Aeryn is a freak, so she finds it arousing. Seriously--she's turned on by his mad genius here. She wants to jump him. When I first watched this scene, I thought "Wow, okay. Aeryn has never wanted to fuck John more than she does at this moment. Interesting. A lot to unpack." She is slightly scared of (and for) him, but mostly she's just really into John when he demonstrates his intelligence, charisma, adaptability, ingenuity, and capability as a leader by taking charge of situations--even, maybe especially, when he exhibits the fearless confidence and nonchalant rule-breaking, dangerous risk-taking behavior of an absolute madman (P.S. Aeryn needs therapy).

Exhibit B: Fractures (s3)

She just lost him to a suicide mission, and now he stands before her again, proposing yet another suicide mission. She's shattered, emotionally decimated, a shell of her former self. She can't even look at him. And yet... and yet. She still can't say no. She knows she can't say no. John has a vision and a plan--a crazy one, as always--and she's prepared to follow it dutifully, as always. She'll follow him anywhere. She'll follow him to his death. She'll follow him to hers. The level of loyalty she feels to this man... it’s beautiful, and also terrifying.

Exhibit C: We're So Screwed (s4)

John is insane in the membrane... AGAIN... and delivers another half-baked plan sure to go awry. He is legitimately the most powerful man in the room, and Aeryn has never been more in love. I find this blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment deeply poignant; the look they exchange is made of pure love, reverence, sadness, and understanding. It is equal parts heartwarming and heartbreaking. There's something sorrowful yet ultimately peaceful about her attraction to him here. Aeryn is in love with and committed to John and by this point, she knows and accepts the risks. She knows he could die. She knows SHE could die. Been there, done that (more than once!). Whereas previous seasons find Aeryn loyal yet conflicted, there's virtually no conflict here. She knows who John Crichton is and what he is capable of: he's a man who has been driven to the brink of insanity; who has the most formidable, destructive knowledge locked in his brain; who is able to command rooms full of the most powerful beings; who can bend the fabric of the universe to his will; who can singlehandedly destroy entire galaxies; who is fundamentally pure of heart yet willing to commit atrocities; who has selflessly sacrificed his life to save millions, but most importantly to save her; because, above all, John Crichton is utterly, unequivocally, viciously in love with Aeryn Sun. She knows all of this, and she’s content in her commitment to him. They've been through the ringer (and will almost certainly go through it again), but she has resolved to stand by him till the bitter end.

Exhibit D: The Peacekeeper Wars (s5, kind of)

Remember when I said Aeryn would quite literally follow John into the swirling, all-consuming, universe-destroying vortex of a wormhole if he asked her to (and eventually, he would)? Well, here we are, folks. John reaches peak destructive insanity and Aeryn doesn't falter. Her commitment to him is almost as terrifying as his commitment to his cause and his willingness to do whatever it takes--whatever it takes--to get what he wants. I would say Aeryn follows him blindly, but to suggest that would be an insult to her as an autonomous, self-directed being. She doesn't follow blindly. She knows what she's doing by choosing to align herself with John, as much as he knows what he’s doing. And that's the kicker: John has never been more lucid than he is at the end of PKW. His insane actions have never been more calculated or considered. That's what makes this the most dangerous and terrifying brand of insanity we've ever seen him display. And Aeryn supports him. She joins him. The Aeryn of PKW retains all the inner peace and resolve she had in s4, but with darker and more sinister undertones--this is the most complicated, vivid depiction of Aeryn's love and unwavering loyalty, respect of John's power, and willingness to join him in absolute insanity. Together, they make quite a team: destructive, deadly, diabolical. Their commitment to peace is violent. Their heroism is villainous. They are prepared to die for what they believe in, and they are willing to take everyone else with them.

"I love it when you take control."

Yeah. She does. She really does.

ANYWAY... Gotta love a show wherein a single comedic line (from an episode that could, at first glance, be viewed as little more than fluffy fanservice) is actually important, and speaks to fundamental truths about the characters, their relationship, and their choices over the course of the entire series. Gotta love it.

#...okay #i think i'm done #do you ever just wake up plagued by Thoughts #this weekend's descent into insanity brought to you by: caffeine and avoidance of actual responsibilities #john x aeryn #john crichton #aeryn sun #farscape

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dappercritter · 3 years

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Invader Zim: Taller Tales of Terror - The First Fic That Wasn’t

This was going to be my first fanfiction that I ever published, but things came up and I found other story ideas and fandoms to get into. However, because there’s nothing I hate more than leaving a story untold and forgotten.

So like a writer jilted by a big name studio working on a big superhero movie that went terribly wrong after they left, I’m going to share it with you good folks to see if you still think there’s hope for it in some capacity. If so maybe I’ll choose to revive it in some capacity, or one of you kind folks can adopt it. Whatever you think of the once untold tale I’m about tell you, I hope you enjoy it.

The fic would have been either a mini-series/anthology or a movie-esque sequel—or two—to Enter the Florpus.

It would have followed the stranger further misadventures the kids would go on as teenagers, all of which have at least something to do with getting taller, literally or metaphorically.

Although I'd do my best to recreate the series' darkly comic tone, there'd be more to the story than just that. I'd like to do a sort of character study with my fanfics and explore what they would do as they got older, how they would change if they could change, if they'd mature and try to connect with each other more, or if they really do just hate each other. It'd be like a coming-of-age story but done in the style of Invader Zim.

But don’t be fooled, folks! It's not going to be one of those big dramatic fanfics with high stakes (nor any smut) thrown in. At it's core it's still just a fun, dumb, mildly disturbed "What if?" sort of fic. There would be a bit more emphasis on character and plot than normal, because I do love me a good character-driven plot, but still plenty of room for (what I hoped would feel like) the usual weird dumb creepy fun that original series excelled at.

The story is set in basically the same continuity (or at least the closest thing to a continuity that can exist in Invader Zim) as the show and comics. The only difference is that the Battle of Meekrob actually happened—but not really.

Long backstory short, there was a big showdown between the Irken Armada and the Meekrob-allied Resisty, but Zim and Dib missed it because a food fight got them stuck in detention. Zim tried to get Skoodge (who was rooming with him at the time because the scrapped Season 2 episodes were sorta canon here) to cover for him until her got there, while Dib tried to get Gaz to take Tak’s ship to provide support against the Irken. By the time they got out, however, the battle was over, Gaz blew the whole thing off to get a new game, Skoodge and some other Invader became the war hero Zim always aspired to be, and The Almighty Tallest decided to cancel Operation Impending Doom 2 because after the big exciting space battle they felt like they couldn’t top anything after that. Suffice to say, Zim took it pretty hard. Dib however would have seen this as something of a win since Zim still failed in a sense. Albeit it was a very anticlimactic win, even to him.

The actual story would have taken place about 5 years after the Battle of Meekrob, where Zim, Dib, and Gaz have made it to high school (or “hi-skool” as this is the Invader Zim universe, after all). Setting wise, things haven't changed much but the characters have made a few surprising or not-so-surprising developments. The most important of all, so important that it would be the focus of the entire story, in fact! would have been Zim developing a brand-new disguise utilizing an exoskeleton, based partially on the Almighty Tallest, in attempt to make him look like a normal teenager AND impress superiors. Naturally, things go horribly yet amusingly wrong for everyone involved.

Now just where and what has everyone been up to/going through in those five years? Here’s a rundown:

-Zim spent those 5 years obsessing over his crushing failure, begging the Tallest to give him another chance, which they refused every time. Being stuck on a planet of smelly, stupid, and increasingly annoying creatures for so long without any real victories has left him bitter and frantic with more shmoopiness than usual. Even the little "VICTORY FOR ZIM!" moments he used to have got harder and harder to come by. By the time he reached high school, he was so messed up he didn’t realize his classmates had all had growth spurts until Dib easily overpowered him in one of their petty fights and points it out to the whole school. Thus, leading to the new exoskeleton and subsequent schemes to redeem himself in the eyes of the Tallest while looking normal in the eyes of his human classmates. Unfortunately, due to his desperation and general lack of understanding about the human body, the exoskeleton comes out looking like a lanky robotic nightmare with clawed fingers that jerks around like a big cybernetic marionette.

-Dib meanwhile has been doing slightly better. He and his paranormal research are still looked down upon, but he's persevered through the hope that someday he'll prove he's right. After (indirectly) stopping Zim from joining the Battle of Meekrob, Dib got a small confidence boost, thinking of it as a big step to exposing for Zim real now that he’s effectively trapped on Earth with him now. Although, following a rather blunt intervention from his family, he's started thinking about what he’ll do with himself once Zim is gone. He still hates his guts and he's still hellbent on beating him, but he's also started getting out more and trying to socialize more—however awkward his attempts may be. That he's also gotten taller and his head isn't quite as big compared to the rest of his body has been good for his self-esteem too. But make no mistake—when he's not going for runs, working shifts at his dad’s lab, or looking into a “totally normal” science major, he's toiling away on improving his array of anti-Zim strategies and defenses.

-Gaz is doing pretty good but she is totally done with Zim and Dib's junk. Although she's still her old apathetic self, she's doing everything in her power to broaden her horizons so she doesn't end up in the same, stupid rut that they ended up in. She would have gotten into indie art and game development; although her work is still fairly obscure, it's quickly gaining attention for it's macabre, edgy, punishing and geeky nature. (Imagine the works of Jhonen Vasquez, Toby Fox, Hidetaka Miyazaki, and Hideki Kamiya mashed together.) She also participates in e-sports tournaments on occasion, if only because crushing countless so-called “gamers” brings her amusement. Her psychic powers have also gotten stronger with her age, and she likes to experiment with them whenever she can—usually when somebody really annoys her. She's doing fine in the story until, after a run-in with a certain unkillable spoiled brat at an e-sports tournament, sends her over the edge and she trashes the place in a Carrie-esque episode. This gets her sent to anger management therapy, and now she's trying to find a way out to avoid sitting through an endless slog of "sappy" sessions.

-Gir would still be insane.

-Minimoose would still be the ultimate techno-lifeform Minimoose.

-Zim's Computer is still tired.

-Prof. Membrane is still the greatest and most powerful scientist who ever lived but he’s also trying to make time for his family more and mentoring Dib to be the successor to his legacy he always thinks he was meant to be. That is if is experimental new immortality machine doesn’t work out. May or may not have to fend off Clembrane whenever he comes to visit.

-The Almighty Tallest are still living content, tyrannical lives. They didn't take canceling Operation Impending Doom 2 very hard because, as it turns out, they just got bored with it after a while. (Of course, Zim's repeated interference didn't help keep their spirits up either). However, they'd come up with the perfect plan to obtain absolute control of the universe AND get the feeling back: by making Operation Impending Doom 3 a thing and setting up a huge hype campaign for it. Thing go pretty well for them until Zim calls them and tells them about his new exosuit. They believe that Zim is trying to make himself look like a Tallest so he can lead a rebellion against them and get revenge for treating him like garbage. (He's not, obviously, but they're too dumb and paranoid to realize this.) So, they pretend that they're ok with it and let him carry on his merry way while they figure out how to dispose of him without making him look like a martyr figure of some sort, thus giving the other Irkens they mistreated any ideas.

-Tak would show up again in the second half and this is where it gets spoiler-y. She would come to Earth on the Tallest’s orders with a squad consisting of a reformatted Mimi, rogue SIR units, as well as Tenn and Skoodge who she had recruited to aid in her vendetta against Zim. She would subsequently reveal that after drifting through space in an escape pod, she crashed landed on Meekrob just as the battle was about to begin, and using the element of surprise, rescued Tenn from captivity and assisted Skoodge and the Tallest in devising a battle strategy so brilliant that it crushed the Resisty and Meekrob’s alliance and earned her the status of Irken Elite. She grew comfortable in her new position but could never get over her fear that Zim would eventually ruin it all again, so she waited and prepared for the day she would strike back. I don’t know how or if she would adopt an updated disguise (perhaps a hologram of her older humansona projected over her, Tenn, and Skoodge standing on top of her shoulders?) or hide in the shadows while Tenn, Skoodge, Mimi and the berserk SIR squad did her dirty work.

-Skoodge would have gone from aspiring to be Zim’s friend to being his worst enemy after Tak turned him to her side by digging into his past with him, making him realize how little his supposed old friend cared about him. Despite this he still keeps an unusually cheerful disposition—even repeatedly apologizing to Zim whenever he attacks him—and acts as the heart of Tak’s squad. He thinks of them as his real friends, so he always goes out of his way to help them out or keep the energy up. Even though Tak looks down on him because of his size, she appreciates his gullibility and unquestioning loyalty. Tenn just thinks he’s nice, especially since he’s good at keeping the SIRs in check.

-Tenn has recovered from the traumatic escapades she endured on Meekrob at the hands of the rogue SIR units and imprisonment under the enemy, returning to her usual competant Invader self—something Tak values quite a bit in an armada largely composed of egomaniacs and morons. Tenn values Tak’s companionship even more, viewing her as a conquering hero who not only won the most important battle of Irken history, but also, her heart. …Not she’ll ever act on her feelings. That would inconveniance the mission! (Although Skoodge has picked up on this and gladly supports her, thinking they’d make an adorable couple.) After investation revealed that Zim was supposed to receive the rogue SIR units instead of her while he trashed the Megadoomer that was rightfully assigned to her, she bought into Tak’s view that Zim’s very existence was a threat to all Irkenkind, gladly assisting her efforts to eradicate him.

-Mimi and the rogue SIR units have been reprogrammed to be less insane and follow orders again thanks to Tak and Skoodge’s efforts. However, Tak also had a berserk mode installed specfically for eradicating targets with optimal, brutal efficiency. Mimi still tends to glitch though. In addition to Mimi retaining her cat holo-disguise, the berserker SIRs would gain new disguises resembling either feral cats or rabid teacup poodles. (I hadn’t decided yet.) Tenn still gets anxious around them.

-Gretchen might show up again and would possibly get to reconnect with Dib, maybe even finally be honest with him about her feelings for him when she surprises him with her surprising new position at Membrane Labs: the janitor.

-Keef will… er, uh… actually, don’t get your hopes up.

Well, I think that’s everyone important. Okay back to the plot now!

So, right up front, the biggest part of the plot as well as the biggest reason why I got uncomfortable with the whole thing was there wiould be some romance in here between a few couples and that it would have figured into the plot. The most significant of all: ZAGR (a.k.a. Zim and Gaz Relationship). But I wanted to make it feel organic and even sweet without sacrificing the feel of sardonic madness but also keeping it in the wholesome zone.

I always felt like Zim and Gaz were a natural fit for each other (like quite a few other people, admittedly) because I always felt like their personalities were a good fit and they could have a lot in common. The story would follow them as they unexpectedly developed a romantic friendship, bonding over their resentment of the Earth and humanity, their absent family members, a love of technology of questionable intent, and subjugating those who anger them. It would all start with Gaz agreeing to help Zim improve his suit and his unassuming human act just to get back at Dib for annoying her. At first they’d be acting entirely out of spite and necessity, but as they spent more time together, they’d start to enjoy each other’s company more.

Gaz would be the first develop feelings, since she voluntarily rejected the concept of love instead of being programmed to reject it like Zim, as she slowly realizes how much they have in common—much to her horror. Zim would take more time but when he begins to understand how he feels about and just what these DISGUST feelings are, he’d handle it just as poorly. (e.g. I pictured a scene where Zim has such a hard time admitting his feelings for Gaz that he ends up vomiting black goo like he’s possessed or something. For comedy of course.) But they’d both start to open up to each other in the end, if only because they’re the only two people in the universe they can stand. Gaz would try to help him overcome his anxiety and stop caring as much about what humans think of him, while he would be someone that she can actually relate to.

Dib, however, would take sincerest offense to it. He’d be totally freaking out, nearly diving off the deep end to put his plans to defeat Zim into action and expose him before he could be exposed. He’d also make a point of demanding what Gaz could see in a monster like him, even reminding her of everything that Zim had done. Probably in an exchange like this:

DIB: He stole our organs! He tried to crush the planet with Mars! He kidnapped me and threatened to turn me inside out! He tricked me into helping him teleport Earth into outer space so his rulers could destroy it! He turned me into bologna, Gaz! (*holding back tears*) BOLOGNE!

GAZ: I thought you got over that.

DIB: Well, physically I did, yes, but not mentally.

Gir would be pretty on board with it though.

The other biggest plot of the series would have been Tak’s return and the reveal of her and the Tallest’s master plan to destroy Zim once and for all: kick off Operation Impending Doom 3 by placing Zim on trial, executing him, and completing Tak’s plan to turn the planet Earth into a snack bowl for the Tallest (which she still insists is a good plan, she just never got to complete it) big enough to feed them while they watch the conquest of the rest of the universe in style. Zim and the Membranes get through to her and her squad, and possibly the other Irkens, by turning them against the Tallest to stop the Irkens once and for all. Maybe.

Finally to wrap this little nightmare up, here’s a vague outline of the stories I had planned for this wannabe whopper:

-A Whole New Nightmare – Following an amusing prologue about how Zim and Dib ended up missing the battle of Meekrob, Zim finally realizes that his natural Irken height threatens to expose his façade to all the classmates who have reached proper adolescent human height. He creates his exosuit then proceeds to cause a scene when he calls the Tallest and goes to hi-skool. Meanwhile, Gaz bugs Dib about still wasting his time bullying Zim. Zim then challenges Dib to a contest of normalcy: a series of challenges that are just overhyped normal teenage things like loitering, hanging out with friends, and finally a dance-off. Whoever loses has to admit they’re a complete weirdo and admit they’re most embarrassing secret. Dib wins the first round, but after he blows off Gaz to hang out with the other kids, she and Zim strike up a nice conversation and he wins the second round. The final dance-off ends in a draw when Zim and Dib both end up looking like total dorks. The story ends with Dib and Zim standing up for themselves against their judgemental peers, but Zim ends up overtaking his big speech and convincing his classmates to completely forget about his bizarre new appearance.

-Gaz the Befriended - Zim and Gaz make a deal: Gaz helps him fine tune his suit while posing as his "NORMAL HUMAN!" friend, and in return he helps her figure out how to control her powers while posing as her friend so she won't have to go to anger management counselling. While they do drive each other nuts, they eventually learn they have a lot in common and start acting like real friends. Dib grows suspicious of their "friendship," sets out to uncover the truth.

-They Follow - Dib goes on social media to share his findings on Zim with the world in an attempt to verify all his evidence via wisdom of the crowd. Zim finds out and retaliates by joining social media as well to make himself look like a hard luck case in an effort to gain sympathy from the (basically ignorant) public. As their war of words escalate and their follower bases grow, they end up starting a flame war that threatens to destroy society itself.

-Star Dib - Hoping to find some real help, Dib sends a message to outer space looking for reinforcements. He ends up with what remains of the Resisty, who dissolved after their crushing defeat on The Battle of Meekrob. Taking pity on them, he volunteers to become their new leader. Shenanigans ensue on a galactic level.

-C for Conspiracy - Dib stumbles across a mysterious conspiracy involving Earth tech being backwards compatible with alien tech. He wants to take it on himself, but realizes that he might actually need Zim’s help. So he has to swallow his pride and ask him for help, and as if that weren’t enough he has to put up with his and Gir’s (who tagged along) antics.

-Night of the Living Prom-goers - Prom night comes along and all the hormonally-imbalanced kids are ready to go, except for Zim, Dib, and Gaz. Until Gaz works up the nerve to ask Zim out, which he actually accepts. While Gaz prepares for her perfect tolerable evening, Dib desperately tries to convince her that Zim’s up to something while trying uncover his true motives, only for her to snap at him and challenge his views on Zim. Little do either of them know, Zim plans to use the prom as an experiment to harness Gaz’s power for his own ends. But at the same time, he ponders whether his friendship with Gaz is just a means to an end or something more. Either way it will be a night they will never forget. Or survive! Probably.

-The Return of Tak’s Revenge Rises - Tak finally returns to take her revenge on Zim and the Membrane siblings. Striking them when they least expect with the aid of an upgraded MiMi, a squad of berserk SIR units, and two fellow invaders Zim had wronged in the past.

-Doomed Together - Following Tak’s strike, the Almighty Tallest kick off Operation Impending Doom 3 with a mission of utmost importance: sending in the Irken Armada to ensure Zim is destroyed once for all so they can finally proceed with absolute universal domination. Now, Gaz, Dib, and some unlikely allies must come up with a plan to save their even more unlikely new friend and the rest of the universe from the most fearsome force in the universe! It’s basically the grand finale.

And that is all there is, or was, to Taller Tales of Terror. I can’t guarantee I’ll ever revisit it, what with all the other stuff on my plate right now, but I’m glad to have finally shared the story of my first fanfic with y’all.

So, tell me, my filthy monkey maggot mutual friends. After all that horrible rambling, what did you think?

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jigoku-no-heishi · 4 years

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Eszti: chop em up chop em up chop em up chop em up

Izanami: Cut em up cut em up cut em up cut em up

Eszti: I don’t give a fuck, load them up in a fucking rush

Izanami: we are gonna need another truck

Eszti: This is our last time, we are sicker than genital viruses

It’s been a good night

The cops just pass right by us

And what about you Izanami, I heard you were a cannibal

I heard you took your fathers head and ate it up like a cantaloupe

I know japan has a lot of people where they eat human meat like it’s beef

Izanami: see how they talk about me, I’m about this medication

Painkillers, Prozac, muscle relaxers, trust me, my back hurts

Insane in the membrane, Eszti, my brain might be on backwards

I'mma get back to work, kill them and put em in a cardboard box

Brains in a basket

Rumor has it I lock like a mastiff

I have to see if I got enough zip-lock plastic

If this fucker was found it would be a closed casket

Wait who can put this one in a bag the fastest?

Eszti: Me! That's who, because you’ll be slow as molasses

I'mma get them and put them in something sinister

Izanami, you motherfucking menace, I was bout to finish them

When does a cannibal as hungry as a animal finish up?

Izanami: when I’m done, it takes time because I’m cooking him with love

We have to clean him well before we feast

I don’t wanna give you a disease, you focus on killing

I’ll turn their insides to a raw hide, and grill them

Did I tell you what happened, I wrapped him up in some plastic

And took him home for the acid bath, it was so funny, I had to laugh

Eszti: You are really good at cooking meat, a lot of experience as it seems

I had to kill this one while he was on leave

Taking him out for cheap, then I had to put that body up

Blood stains in the motel lobby

Cooking with you is a fun hobby

Izanami: I’ll be here to cut them Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday

Eszti: And I’ll cream all-day Friday, Saturday and my birthday

Izanami: how about we get another one what do you say

Eszti: as long as I can put the 9 milli to his toupee

Izanami: Clock him out and make him late for work the next day

Eszti: Cut him out, spread the body over two states

Izanami: Or two plates

Dinner for the two of us

Have you ever had one with this seasoning?

It’s some good stuff

Eszti: I just enjoy making them take dirt naps, I gotta say that’s where the funs at

Ak-12 in a black backpack

In a black Cadillac, making bullets crack

Then think about the smell of the bodies, masturbate till it’s raw

It’s fun to watch the family hurt

I put family first, if they fuck around we can make it worse

Put the whole family tree in a hearse

Izanami: it’s why I love your partnership Eszti, Czech women are just as deadly

When you are done taunting that one

can you pass me the machete

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defenderofurth · 5 years

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rules: repost, don’t reblog. just pick a muse of yours and fill it out.

muse: dib membrane!

BASICS

▸ is your muse tall/short/average? pretty teeny, since he’s only twelve years old. he IS a couple of inches taller than zim, though, and he tends to rub that in his face ( since his species judges one’s value in society by their height ).

▸ are they okay with their height? it doesn’t get to him most of the time, since he knows he’s going to wind up growing more with age. besides, his father is super tall, so he’s bound to inherit that, right? part of him can’t wait for that, so he can TOWER over zim and tease him mercilessly about it. ▸ what’s their hair like? WEIRD. his hairstyle is very similar to his dad’s, a very short head of hair topped with a very long spike. i don’t think it’s prehensile like his father’s is ( i don’t recall whether or not dib’s hair ever had bones in it, jfc ), but...it sure is a thing.

▸ do they spend a lot of time on their hair/with their grooming? dib’s hair Stays like that even when he sleeps; that’s cartoon logic, but hey, who’s to say that membrane hasn’t invented a long-lasting hair gel or something ( provided that dib’s hair ISN’T just a weird ass fucking limb )? that being the case, No, he doesn’t really spend a lot of time taking care of it. ▸ does your muse care about their appearance? not really. he’s only into fashion to the extent that his outfit ( specifically, his jacket ) is inspired by those of “noirish spies,” but that’s pretty much it.

▸ does your muse care about what others think about them? GOD, YES. he craves acceptance and validation, ESPECIALLY from his father. when it comes to people like his classmates and teachers / other adults, he sort of just wants to rub the truth ( about aliens and the supernatural ) in their faces so he’ll stop being called crazy.

PREFERENCES

▸ indoors or outdoors? a bit of both; he isolates in his room frequently, either to compile research or spy on zim with cameras, but some of his supernatural research also requires him to spend time in the outdoors. that being said, he does enjoy it; camping out in the woods and gazing up at the stars is always fun, and so is visiting the cemetery. ▸ rain or sunshine? he started enjoying rain a lot more once he figured out that it was one of zim’s weaknesses -- now he looks forward to every thunderstorm. before that, though, he didn’t really have a preference for either. ▸ forest or beach? the forest, big time! the forest has the potential for BIGFEETS & he can camp out & stargaze!!! the beach is okay and all, and has cryptids of its own that he could investigate someday, but it’s full of people and sand -- neither of which dib is very fond of.

▸ precious metals or gems? metals?? psh, who needs gems. ▸ flowers or perfumes? flowers, i GUESS, not that either would really be appreciated unless it was haunted, cursed, or supernatural in some way fsddfs. ▸ personality or appearance? personality. appearance is the least of his concerns; if he just found someone who believed in him, in the paranormal, who could see things for what they were and actually LISTEN to him ?? he’d click with them instantly. ▸ being alone or being in a crowd? being alone. crowds, and people in general, are extremely unappealing. ▸ order or anarchy? leans more toward anarchy, even if he doesn’t actively resolve to act on those beliefs; he sees a LOT of flaws in society and the way things operate, and has plenty of distaste for authority ( ESPECIALLY after being arrested once and being put in an insane asylum ). ▸ painful truths or white lies? painful truths, most of the time; white lies are more of a last resort for when he’s intimidated ( i.e. telling gaz about his reasons for cursing her with pigmouth while she was threatening his haunted gummy bears ).

▸ science or magic? both -- the two can co-exist! he uses science to fuel his research of the paranormal, and someday, when the world has awakened to the existence of the supernatural, he wants to bring the two fields together. ▸ peace or conflict? peace, ultimately; however, his actions in the present lean more toward the conflict end of the spectrum. he tends to mess with zim even before he’s done anything wrong, all while justifying it in his own head as “the ends justifying the means.” ▸ night or day? night. i think i’ve already established how much dib loves stargazing -- he always loved outer space and was fascinated with it, and aliens were always the cryptids he was most enthusiastic about meeting ( until zim, that is ). ▸ dusk or dawn? dusk. ▸ warmth or cold? cold; his favorite season is actually autumn, both holiday and weather-wise. sweating is annoying and the humidity makes it hard to enjoy spending time in the woods, cemeteries, or infiltrating zim’s base. also, since his trenchcoat is just Part Of Him now, he really doesn’t like removing it for the summer ( and that leads to even more sweating ).

▸ many acquaintances or a few close friends? I DON’T NEED FRIENDS, THEY DISAPPOINT ME

▸ reading or playing a game? reading; he spends most of his time doing that anyway, and he really sucks at video games.

QUESTIONNAIRE

▸ what are some of your muse’s bad habits? his paranoia in general is a big one -- he refuses to trust most people after what he’s been through, and that leaks into a lot of his behavior. sometimes he even doubts the reality around him, since some of zim’s tricks have involved trapping him in simulations that mimic “ideal” versions of the world around him, and that’s really messed with him.

▸ has your muse lost anyone close to them? how has it affected them? unless you count the dog he and gaz had when they were younger, or mr. dwicky ( who didn’t even die, he just sort of abandoned dib in the middle of an evidence-gathering mission ), he hasn’t really lost anybody. the dog didn’t affect him too much, but in dwicky��s case, it definitely intensified his trust issues.

▸ what are some fond memories your muse has? little things here and there -- moments where gaz actually supported him or picked him back up like in enter the florpus; a few times when he, gaz, and his father all played video games together; and that one time when he and gir spent a few days together while zim was stuck in foodcourtia, since he got to pester zim’s leaders, and also sort of just chill with zim’s sidekick for a while. ▸ is it easy for your muse to kill? definitely not. he makes petty threats here and there, and absolutely has twisted daydreams about zim on an autopsy table, but there’s no way he could follow through on any of those things himself. not unless zim went TOO far with one of his plans.

▸ what’s it like when your muse breaks down? it’s very brief, but there’s a taste of it in enter the florpus. he bottles it up for as long as he can, but it eventually erupts in the form of him falling to the floor and just sobbing -- he hates crying in front of other people, so if it ever gets to this point in front of anyone else, you KNOW it’s bad. ▸ is your muse capable of trusting someone with their life? not really. ▸ what’s your muse like when they’re in love? A RELATIONSHIP WOULD BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM,, does that count as an answer?? it’d be really rare for him to fall for anyone like that in the first place, but if he did, he’d probably be really...insecure about it. i can see his future self being the type who would have all sorts of issues with commitment, if he ever started serious relationships in the first place, and refusing to acknowledge Real feelings for people.

tagged by: @invaderofdoom TYSM ILY,,, ( we gay keep scrollin - ) tagging: hhH @mechbrane ( any of ur muses ), @prxfessor-membrane, @vortship, @wastallest, @diibsister, @irken-tenn, if y’all want to!!! feel free to ignore this if not / if you’ve already done this and i didn’t see, i just want to celebrate you guys being nice to me despite me being. slow and non-responsive and everything. thank u

#🛸 || ᶜʰʳᵒᶰᶤᶜˡᶤᶰᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵃʳᵃᶰᵒʳᵐᵃˡˑ (musings.) || 🛸#🛸 || ᶤ'ᵛᵉ ᵗᵒˡᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵒʳˡᵈ˒ ᵗʰᵉʸ ʷᵒᶰ'ᵗ ᵇᵉˡᶤᵉᵛᵉ ᶤᵗˑ (headcanons.) || 🛸

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mtvchallengeblogarchive · 2 years

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Yeah! - Episode 16

I’m on my way. Just set me freeeeeeeeeee. Home sweet home! I love this episode for many reasons! The taping of this show couldn't have gone more perfectly. I got to have the fun that I wanted to have free of any bullshit. I got to be in Jamaica with some real friends. I won the only cool prizes that I could have possibly won. Believe me, that free movie thing is the total bomb explosive. And I didn't have to do the hard stuff in the final mission! Yeah. First let’s take care of official business. Hello? Does anybody recall being told that the first place contestant competes first and the last place contestant competes last? But for the final episode, we’ve just abandoned that that specific rule has been established on this game show. Ruthie went first or second on that mission and basically sealed the deal on the car for us. I went last, and since Ruthie had already won the car for us, I didn’t really have to compete to know that I was going home. I would have gone home regardless. I had no intention of even trying to compete in the last mission and ruining the girls’ chances at winning the money. All the bungee.com people said that what Ruthie did was nearly humanly impossible; that with all the knowledge of all their test runs of the mission there’s no way that anybody could recreate what Ruthie did. Four seconds was insane in the membrane. She defied the law of physics. To further prove that Ruthie went before most of us, when she completes the mission, they show Colin (who supposedly went before her) in his harness and his blindfold sitting in the tent that they dubbed as our “holding quarters” so that we couldn’t see the others compete. Why would he put all that mess back on if he had already competed? Do the editors think of this stuff, or am I just a continuity Nazi? I didn’t have to go because I knew the car was mine already since I was last in the heat. I just went because I didn’t want to be a punk bitch. Twenty-nine seconds isn’t so bad when you don’t really have to waste your time facing a fear that you’ll never ever encounter again. Plus, we all know the powers of editing. Melissa didn’t compete blah blah blah. Can it. I hate missions. Thank goodness it’s over. I thoroughly enjoyed humping the car after I’d won it. Yes! It's so refreshing that I'm actually getting paid for the amount of time that I stayed. Hey, that rhymes. I'm a lyrical genius. Not really. Speaking of genius, Ellen said she thinks with her head. Good point. Some people do think with their genitals or their butts, you know. At my final goodbye that wasn’t really a goodbye since they shot the final mission while Antoine and I ate lunch, I said, “Thanks Ellen for your excessive cheerleading. It helped sometimes.” And she said thanks and you’re welcome. Right over her head. I don’t think Ellen’s a bad girl. She can be a sweet person. Now, put Coral in the mix and them’s fighting words. Please somebody put them on a challenge together. Pretty please! Oh, they wouldn’t let me and Antoine actually watch the final mission. Wack. I said “I love Filipinos” on national television. For all my people out there, holler! Not holler! I’m drunk with happiness. That’s the best representation they’ve ever let me have on that show when it comes to being down with the brown, and fuck yeah, it’s about time. Filipino til death. Pick-up interviews are hysterical because after the fact you can talk all the shit you want and know that it will be backed up because you know the outcome. Mark can say, “Antoine, you’re not taking my spot” because he knows it’s true. And the fact that they asked Ellen to say, “We’re all counting on Ruthie” to win us the car is retarded. We knew we won the shit. Kings and queens of the pick-up interviews are Ruthie, Mark, Ellen and Colin. All throughout the season, they put those in there and it was just so obvious. Maybe not obvious to you since you just watch it like a regular person (or a weird person that puts Carmex on her cuticles), but obvious to me. The pink maid outfit. You see, in the credit bed they show me kicking it with Miss Joan and Miss Anne (Miss Faye was up at the Chili's Lounge on this day), the ladies that worked in the kitchen and in our house. My real homies in Jamaica. I hated it when they made my bed because I just felt bad about having them clean up after me since I am an able-bodied person. I asked them to please never make my bed, but they didn’t listen. So, after a while, I had to wake up and make it quick fast before they got the chance. In the credit bed, I’m showing them my new dress, which I special ordered and paid for (there was no shopping in Jamaica) when I was bored out of my mind. A lady’s got to shop. Miss Anne and Miss Joan and Miss Faye were sad that I was leaving, but I was assuring them that I was in fact staying and taking up a job with them. I also told them they might want to take up the hems on their uniforms and truly be the sexy mamas they are. I still have that outfit right here in my closet and that is truly my prized possession from the Battle of the Sexes. I cut a deal with Jamie. Our contracts said that no cast members could do any deals, and cut back money and all that, but I told Jamie that if he won the final mission, that he would have to buy me my first pair of Manolo Blahniks. What does he get out of it? I don’t know, but he didn’t think the “deal” was lopsided, so I kept rolling with it. He agreed and said he would want to go with me to the store if he won the money so that it was a shared experience. He’s all about “experiencing” life. I love him for reminding me of that perspective. Sometimes life can just be a bowl of hot shit or cold diarrhea (Welcome to the Dollhouse fans unite) and he’s always let me know that life is good. He is a true friend to me. He said he didn’t understand how shoes could make one girl so happy, and wanted to see this reaction in the flesh. In a gallery of Manolo Blahniks, there’d be nothing to misunderstand. I’d save the MB shopping bag too. I’d keep the box, and put the shoes in them after I’ve worn them (only on the carpet). I’d only wear the shoes for a hot date, and seeing as though I don’t go on hot dates, it looks like they’d be relegated to “play” shoes status. Do I have the Blahniks? Well, time will tell. P.S. I never got voted off so oops upside your head, say oops upside your head. Somebody say oops upside your head, say oops upside your head (she sings as she does a rhythmless dance a foreign parent would do).

Apr 28 2003

#melissa howard #battle of the sexes #mtv #the challenge

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boystownbirdie · 7 years

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NEW PHONE WHO DIS?

Are you an inexperienced or inconsistent Game of Thrones viewer? Are you not quite sure who all of these people are and why you should care about them or their hairstyles? I present to you… New Phone, Who Dis? A guide to the major characters of Game of Thrones, season 7, brought to you by the same blerg that brought you, LET ME WATCH TV 4 U?

For each character we’ll be answering the following questions: WHO DIS? Who are their still-alive allies (best budz)? Will he/she win the game of thrones? Will he/she survive the next 11 episodes? I’ll start with a quick n’ dirty guide to the big 3 families and then get into individuals…

Before we start, SPOILER ALERT, OBVI. Let’s go!

The Starks

Members: Mom (Catelyn) and Dad (Ned) are both dead, so you don’t need to know much about them except that Ned died at the end of season 1 and Catelyn died at that “red wedding” people are always talking about. They had 5 kids: Robb (also died at the red wedding), Sansa (alive!), Arya (also alive!), Bran (wow also alive!), and Rickon (RIP). There’s also Jon Snow aka Bae who was raised as “Ned Stark’s bastard” but was recently confirmed to be the son of Ned’s sister Lyanna and Rhaegar Targaryen, so he’s actually Ned’s nephew and is a sort of Stark-Targaryen mix. For ease of reading, I’ll refer to him as Ned’s son for the rest of this post since this is knowledge that you and I and Bran have but Bae doesn’t even know yet.

Hobbies: Giant wolves, talking about winter, suppressing their feelings, following the rules, dying and coming back to life (well mostly just Bae), living at Winterfell (their home base)

The Lannisters

Members: At this point it’s just 3 adult siblings and get this, THEY’RE ALL ALIVE. Which is truly shocking. There’s Cersei (aka Queen Pixie Cut or QPC), her twin bro/lover Jaime, and their little bro Tyrion (who, despite his heritage is definitely not #teamLannister). QPC and her bro pro-created and had 3 kids together, that she pretended to be the children of her hubby, King Robert Baratheon. Sadly her kids and former hubby are all no longer with us.

Hobbies: Incest, drinking wine, lions I guess?, being rich, killing people who threaten to reveal their secrets or get in their way

The Targaryens

Members: Daenerys (aka Khaleesi) is the only real, legit one who is still alive THAT WE KNOW OF. Jon Snow (Bae) is technically her brother’s son and therefore a Targaryen but he doesn’t know that yet. The only other legit Targaryen we met in the series was her brother Viserys who was THE WORST and got his face burned off.

Hobbies: Dragons, fire, being in-flammable (is that a word?), traditionally they were also into incest but Khaleesi hasn’t gotten into that yet

***Important takeaway: At this point, most of the characters are either #teamBae (Stark), #teamQPC (Lannister), or #teamKhaleesi (Targaryen)**

Now let’s jump into our characters!

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Jon Snow aka Bae aka King of the North aka (former) High Commander of the Nightswatch aka Lord Snow/ King Crow/ The White Wolf. He is famously moody but he is a legit kind, respectful, and open-minded person who is a skilled warrior. He also was stabbed to death by a bunch of his friends at the celibacy-training-academy but then came back to life when an evil witch lady did a spell, TG. Follow up Q- Why is he “Bae?” Because look at that face, duh. But also he is generally pretty #woke and v sensual, esp in season 3 when he meets his lover and breaks his vows of celibacy to tap dat. Said lover famously repeats the phrase “you know nothing, Jon Snow,” but turns out HE DOES KNOW SOME STUFF. Talkin’ bout sex stuff.

Best budz? His besties are Sam, currently studying to be a maester (doctor/historian/librarian/bed-pan-cleaner) and his giant wolf named Ghost. He’s also got his half-sis Sansa on his side as well as No-Knuckles (a nice old dude with some leadership experience), Lady Mormont (the most badass 11 year old you’ve ever met), and a bunch of other “Great Northern Houses” who proclaimed him King of the North. He’s also pals with a bunch of “wildlings” who are people who were born North of the ice wall as well as the current “Nightswatch” dudes who he left in charge when he headed to Winterfell.

Will he win the game of thrones? Maybe? He’s the only current leader who seems as concerned as he should be about the white walkers (giant army of ice zombies who are LOVING this winter weather). Plus he’s a decent guy (chill dude, likes to hang out) AND he’s got that Targaryen and Stark background so he’s got some legit claims to the throne.

Will he survive the next 11 episodes? I think yes. Again, he already died and came back to life so I doubt that will happen again.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Sansa Stark, current Queen of Winterfell (I guess?) former fiancee of Joffrey (now dead), former wife of Tyrion, former wife of Ramsay Bolton (he was evil and she had his dogs eat him) and second oldest legit Stark kid. She used to be obsessed with #fashun and Joffrey but then he turned out to be insane in the membrane and she’s spent the past 5 years being tortured, raped, and traded around by dudes until she reunited with her half-bro, Bae. Now she is much more practical and less trusting and as we’ve seen in the past 2 eps, not always on the same page with Bae.

Best budz? Brienne of Tarth aka Ladyknight is sworn to protect her, as is her squire, Pod. She was pals with Theon (previously-traumatized Theon) because he helped her escape evil Ramsay and I guess she’s friends with Littlefinger who is one of the said dudes who’s been trading her around. Littlefinger is apparently in lurve with her but also WAY OLDER and also used to be in lurve with her mom which is super creepy.

Will she win the game of thrones? Unlikely. She doesn’t really seem to want to be in charge of anything at the moment, but that could change.

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? Doubt it. She’s already been through a lot and while I’d love to see her happy and safe and living her #bestlife, I kind of doubt she will survive to the end because she’s been hangin’ by a thread for awhile.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Arya Stark aka “A Girl” aka Arry aka former intern at the face-swapping-assassin-training academy turned rogue assassin. She recently reconnected with her roots and it seems like she’ll be heading home to see her sis and half-bro in Winterfell. She’s a skilled swords-woman and has never been into anything traditionally feminine. She was briefly blind and before that was a captive of “The Hound” who hoped to trade her for some $$ but ended up escaping from him. Most recently, she killed Walder Frey (a powerful old dude who was pals with the Lannisters) and then poisoned like 100 of his friends and family.

Best budz? Before they were separated, she and Bae were very close (not in an incest way, tho) and she has a friend named Hot Pie who’s a great local chef #eatlocal. She and her sis Sansa were never very close because of their vast differences, but I’m pretty sure they’ll be happy to see one another alive. She made friends with this dude Gendry who is secretly the bastard son of Cersei’s ex-hubby but she hasn’t seen him in awhile.

Will she win the game of thrones? Doubtful. Again, she’s showed no ambition to lead but has shown great skill as a fighter. My guess is she will end up as a knight or some other type of warrior/fighter/guardian.

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? I’m gonna say yes. She is VERY HARD TO KILL even for trained assassins.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Bran Stark aka the NEW AND IMPROVED three-eyed-raven, youngest living Stark kid (presumed dead by many), paraplegic but what he lacks in mobility he makes up for in ability to see into and affect events in the past and enter the brains of animals and other humans. He’s been up North of the ice-wall for awhile but as of season 7 ep 1, is safe with the nightswatch at the wall and likely headed to see his fam at Winterfell. He’s the only person (that we know of) who knows the truth about Bae’s parentage.

Best budz? His best bud is Meera, a very badass chick who helps him get around/survive. He also met and be-friended Bae’s friend Sam a few seasons ago and also briefly reunited with his uncle who is now some sort of ice-zombie-human-hybrid who helped him and Meera survive up North.

Will he win the game of thrones? Naw. More than likely he’ll be important in the war against the ice-zombies since he has tons of experience with them, but he’s unlikely to lead.

Will he survive the next 11 episodes? I think so. Again, his ability to see and potentially affect past events will be super important so I’m thinking people will continue to work hard to protect him.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Tyrion Lannister aka the Imp aka Hand of Queen to Daenerys Targaryen (aka Khaleesi) aka former husband to Sansa Stark, former lover of Shae, former Hand of the King to Joffrey. He loves to drink and read books so he knows a lot of shit but also can be a sloppy, cynical mess. He hates his sister (the feeling is mutual) but has some amount of love and respect for his brother, Jamie. He was in love with Shae but she betrayed him and got with his dad so he killed them both. In his defense, they testified against him which led him to be sentenced to death. After that he left Lannister-life behind to meet up with Khaleesi and co. He’s been able to show off his strategizing-skills as well as knowledge of military maneuvers in his current role.

Best budz? He’s friends with Khaleesi and her crew, as well as this dude Varys (aka Sleevey) who brought him to Khaleesi in the first place. Again, he and his bro Jamie have a complicated relationship but in the past they’ve gotten along. He’s also friends with this dude named Bronn, who, last we checked was working for Jamie. And there’s his former squire, Pod, now works for Ladyknight and famously saved his life during an important battle.

Will he win the game of thrones? He really could. He’s shown great leadership skills and the ability to learn from past mistakes. He’s not too idealistic or unwilling to compromise which are also important in this world.

Will he survive the next 11 episodes? I’m gonna say yes. He’s an important character since he’s a Lannister who is #teamKhaleesi and who has befriended 2 of the Stark peeps, meaning he’s a bridge between these 3 warring groups. I’d bet on him lasting until the end.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Cersei Lannister aka Queen Pixie Cut aka QPC aka Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and current sitter on the “Iron Throne” which is what everyone is always jones-ing to sit on. She recently blew up an entire church full of people (and probably most people within a ½ mile radius too) because they were gettin’ on her nerds. She is intelligent but cruel and recently got a terrible haircut against her will and had to walk naked through the streets. She used to have 3 kids: Joffrey who was also cruel and was poisoned (she blamed Tyrion but it was actually Littlefinger and Grandma Tyrell’s fauly), Myrcella who was nice but also got poisoned (this time by the Sand Snakes/ Dornish Queen lady) and Tommen who jumped out a window after the church explosion.

Best budz? Her bro/lover Jaime is pretty much her bestie and the only person she can really trust at this point. She also likes the current “Maester” who notably is into human experimentation and brought back “The Mountain” (a giant bodyguard/fighter dude who is The Hound’s brother) from the dead a few seasons ago. Now he is basically a giant zombie-hybrid and she likes him too because he kills and tortures people for her.

Will she win the game of thrones? Doubtful. She went to this fortune-teller-lady when she was young that said she’d have 3 kids who would all die young (which came true) and that she’d be overthrown by a younger and more beautiful queen and be killed by her younger brother. Most people think that this younger hawtie kween is Khaleesi but fortunes can be wrong!

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? Again, doubtful due to the prophecy. If it’s true, either Jaime or Tyrion (since both are technically younger than her) could kill her in the next 11 eps. Tyrion is the more likely candidate but who knows! (George RRRRR Martin, that’s who )

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Ser Jaime Lannister aka The Kingslayer aka Oathbreaker aka QPC’s brother/lover aka the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. He’s a tricky character since he loves his sister a lot but also seems to have a stronger grip on reality. He is a great fighter but got a hand chopped off in like season 2 and has been a embarrassed about it ever since. He’s the de facto leader of the Lannister army and has shown great skill in battle and manipulation of his enemy. He famously killed the “Mad King” by stabbing him in the back, earning the kingslayer/oathbreaker nicknames.

Best budz? His sister, obvi. And he has been a fan of his brother in the past although right now they’re on opposite sides. He also got set up with Bronn on a friend-date by his bro Tyrion. He and Brienne (aka Ladyknight) are also one of the many #unlikelyfriendships the show has had and she’s now #teamStark.

Will he win the game of thrones? Probably not. He doesn’t really seem to have any leadership ambition, so I’d say no. He may be standing next to whoever wins, though.

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? Probably. He’s hard to kill and has connections to each of the warring factions at this point. I can see him turning on his sis and changing sides which would make him an asset and therefore likely to #stayalive #hamilton.

WHO DIS?

DIS IS: Daenerys Targaryen aka Khaleesi aka Myhssa aka The Unburnt aka Mother of Dragons aka Breaker of Chains aka Queen of Mereen aka Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and Heir to the Iron Throne. Her dad was called “the Mad King” because he loved to burn people alive (just like QPC!) and she was shipped to the east part of the world right after she was born so she wouldn’t get killed by the Lannisters and Co. She’s spent the last 6 seasons working her way across the eastern continent, first marrying a hawtie horse-king dude who later died from an infected wound, having a stillborn son with him, and then she “gave birth” to 3 dragons at the end of season 1. I know what you’re thinking, PEOPLE CAN’T BIRTH DRAGONS. True. Basically she had 3 petrified dragon eggs and after the loss of her husband and child, she walked into a great funeral pyre and came out later with 3 bb dragons who came from those petrified eggs. She cannot be burned by fire at all, which is pretty kewl. She also set free thousands of slaves and then ruled a kingdom out east called Mereen for awhile. Now she is finally back in the West after all this time to reclaim the throne. She is very intelligent, fierce, but also thoughtful and well-loved.

Best budz? Her translator/bestie is Missandei with the good hair. She’s also pals with Tyrion (who is her “hand” or basically Vice President), Greyworm (the leader of this army of soldiers who she set free but who decided to keep being loyal to her anyway), Grandma Tyrell (whose family got burned up in QPC’s fire last season), Previously-Traumatized Theon and his sister Yara (who is the leader of the Greyjoy fleet of ships), the Sand Queen lady (Queen of Dorne/ mother of the “sand snakes”), Sleevey (Varys- an advisor who used to work for the Lannisters but defected) and last but not least, her old pal Stoney who is currently getting amateur surgery for stoney-skin-disease by Sam (Bae’s bestie). PHEW. She’s got a lot of pals.

Will she win the game of thrones? MAYBE? She would be a great leader and has overcome every obstacle thus far. But if George RRRR Martin has taught us anything, it’s that #youcantalwaysgetwhatyouwant and also no one is immortal, really. But she’s got a good chance.

Will she survive the next 11 episodes? Probably! Again, she can’t be killed by fire and she’s got a lot of people around her who would do anything to protect her.

Those are all of our major characters! I could do a supporting-cast character breakdown if that would be helpful, just let me know. Thanks for reading and tell your friends!!

#lmwtv4u #got #gameofthrones #khaleesi #jonsnow #sansastark #branstark #aryastark #cersei lannister #jaime lannister #tyrion lannister #gots7

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