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#he was bleeding to death half an hour
acowardinmordor · 1 year
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Flip the Board - pt 3
Part One - Part Two
This is going to have to migrate to Ao3. I'm incapable of keeping things short. I'll try to catch everyone in tags when I post part four, which will flip this to posting by chapter, rather than by scene.
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Eddie didn’t skip as he rushed out the side door of the school, headed for the parking lot, but it was close to it. Dustin was standing with his back to the school, next to the van, imitating Harrington’s frustrated mom pose, with a lunchbox hanging from his left hand, and his backpack over his shoulders. Max was leaning against the van, while Lucas argued, and Mike glowered. 
Good progress, but they needed to get moving and were two party members shy of a successful departure.
Eddie hurried over, clapping to bleed off the excess energy, then flung open the door. Ignoring the random stuttered confusion, he snagged his supply and shoved it under the driver’s seat, then reached for bags and whatever else they had on them. 
“What the hell?” Max asked as he yanked the skateboard out of her hands.
“Chill, Red, I’m not stealing your board, you’re coming too.”
“No, really, what the hell?” Lucas added. 
“Shh, Sinclair. Hold your questions til the end of class. Dustin, you’re three for five. Did they not want to skip out? I don’t care. They have to. Do I need to go back for them? Come on. Chop chop. Where’s Robin and Wheeler?”
“I’m right here?”
“Wheeler the Elder,” Eddie amended with a flap of his hand, “You, Sir Michaelmas, are already accounted for.”
“Okay, Dustin, what shit is this?!” Mike snapped. He turned to face off with Dustin, and Lucas turned with him. “You said this was Code Red.”
Dustin was his favorite. 
Kid didn’t blink, didn’t hesitate, didn’t even glance at Eddie for confirmation. Which was one hell of a thing since it was Dustin, who can, did, and would question everything he encountered -- all at the top of his lungs. It wasn’t like Eddie took the time to explain a damn thing after telling him to get the others. Yeah, Dustin tried to ask something after Eddie told him to get the others, but lunch was ending and step one had to start immediately, so Eddie sprinted out of the theater and trusted that Dustin would listen. 
“It IS a Code Red.”
“How the hell would he even know to say that? He probably just overheard you talking about something and thought it would be a good joke.”
“It isn’t a joke,” Dustin insisted. “This is real. He knows something, and it’s serious.”
“Nancy graduated last year, but we’re supposed to think this is real?” Lucas said.
Oh shit. 
“Just because he doesn’t know everything doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Steve gets things wrong all the time and we still listen to him!”
Maybe this meant that the vision thing wasn’t real. Eddie scrambled backwards in his head, trying to figure out if he knew that or not. He saw her around all the time. Around the school all the time. She was in Hawkins during spring break. 
Whoops? 
Apocalypse canceled?
Oh wait. 
No. Dammit. 
He remembered this. He already knew this. Wheeler mentioned it after a couple campaign sessions. Damn. So much for hope. For a second he thought he hadn’t received some insane prophetic revelation.
“She’s working for the paper right?” Eddie interrupted before Mike could yell. “I knew that, sort of. A bit. I knew she was in Hawkins. That counts. It isn’t relevant to this. Got confused. Don’t complain, Wheeler junior, would you rather I know everything your sister does? I know you hate it when Steve talks to her, would you rather it was me?”
Mike’s eyeroll was the most ridiculous, but Lucas and Max joined in. 
Dustin was officially Eddie’s only child now; steadfast little shithead.
Eddie clapped again. 
“Right! Dustin! Where are the other two?”
“Okay. I told the others.” Dustin scowled a promise that all this good behavior was going to be repaid with the mother of all favors, but he answered, “Robin wasn’t sure when Steve finished his shift. She only knew it was before class ended today. She went to call him and see if Nancy was in the newspaper office. She’s either gonna show up with Nancy in a minute, or she’s going to be out here to let us know where Steve and Nancy are.
“And,” he continued, “The rest of Hellfire is pissed at you. Gareth said he was going to plan a coup for Hellfire and for Corroded Coffin. I am being very patient right now. It is taking everything I have to sound This Calm, but, Eddie, Dude, you need to start answering questions before I think you’re a Russian spy.”
Eddie blinked. 
“Uh.” Blinked again. “What do Russian spies have to do with demo-monsters and the Upside Down?” The kids all jumped when he said that name. He waved his hand, clearing it like a bad smell. “Dammit. Okay. Never mind, gotta learn about the communist infiltration later. Mayfield?”
“What now, Munson?”
“Don’t with that tone, Red. You have your walkman with you? Put it on. Kate Bush. Running Up that Hill. It’s your favorite song. Keep rewinding and listening until we can make you a loop tape.”
“What the hell?”
“Just put the headphones on.”
“Why should I listen to some dipshit who didn’t even know about the Russians?”
“Because you’re in trouble. The life-in-danger kind of trouble. Not the ‘you’re grounded’ kind.”
She snorted. For a second, Eddie saw how the others hadn’t noticed. She was good at fronting, if he hadn’t seen her before, he would believe it. 
“Have you been having headaches? Have you been having awful nightmares and thinking you’re hearing things and been thinking about how maybe it would be easier if--” He stopped before he outed any secrets. She heard what he didn’t say, and the suddenly serious look on her face was confirmation. “Just do it. It’ll keep you safe.”
Lucas had her walkman out already, skipping past the need to understand and lunging for her bag the second Eddie persuaded him. Good. That was good. Lucas would be good at this, and if he stuck with her, that was better odds on saving a second one. Their plan, using her, using a kid as bait for the interdimensional hell wizard was bullshit, and he wasn’t doing that again. No fucking way.
He knew the bats dropped, but he also knew the ground shook and there was a noise like the world tore apart right at the end. 
That was the last shot of the movie that arrived in his brain half an hour ago. A sound like the world screaming, louder than Dustin’s yelling, and then; a cafeteria. 
Maybe Max and the others pulled it off. Maybe they didn’t. He wasn’t gambling on this stuff.
“Eddie.”
“Dustin.”
“Are you going to explain stuff? Cause I’m trusting you right now, but even if I was okay not knowing what the hell, and I’m not, and you know that, even if I was going to be okay with it, no one else is going to be.”
“Yeah. You don’t know about this stuff,” Mike added. 
“I didn’t,” Eddie tossed back, stressing the past tense.
“And you learned about all of this while standing on a table in the middle of the cafeteria?”
For once, Nancy Wheeler’s ability to instantly override any conversation she entered was a blessing. Eddie didn’t know how to answer Mike’s question except with a plain ‘yes’ which would do exactly nothing to clarify any of this.
“Munson, if this is some kind of a joke, I will personally ensure that you do not graduate,” she announced as she joined them, deadly serious. “You have no idea how serious this is, and you can’t decide to use it as a prank the day before Spring Break because you think it’ll be funny.”
Eddie turned and smiled, “Ms Nancy Wheeler, you’re looking as delightfully felonious as ever.”
“Munson.”
“Not a joke,” he cut her off. “Robin, where’s Steve right now?”
“Well he was at Family Video, but I called and told him Dustin called Code Red, and I think he tried to spontaneously teleport to the school to help before I finished the sentence. Luckily he smacked into the edge of the counter, so he stopped to listen for a sec, so I told him to go home and we’d meet him there. But that was a couple minutes ago, so he’s probably breaking driving laws and freaking out right now. By the time we get there, he’s going to be at least half as freaked out as I am right now.”
“What is going on?” Nancy hissed.
“Normal Hawkins shit, apparently,” Eddie said, “It’s the end of the world and I know what’s coming.”
“Bullshit. This isn’t a joke. I don’t know how you found out about any of this, but this isn’t one of your games!” 
The fizz of victorious energy he floated on tempered by a few points. Eddie heard the sharp edge of Nancy’s voice, and held it up against the fear as she described Vecna’s plan. There were similarities. She didn’t believe him yet, but she believed it was possible. 
The others continued bickering while he and Nancy squared off. 
“He isn’t joking,” Dustin repeated stubbornly.
“Oh, so our DM suddenly knows about the Upside Down and we’re just supposed to trust he isn’t making it a story?” Mike yelled.
“It’s Eddie! Of course we trust him!”
“Well,” Robin dragged out the word, “some proof would be nice.” 
“You want proof that I’m not joking, Nancy?” Eddie hummed a little, and kept his focus on her. Goddamn, at least this bullshit was giving him some top shelf opportunities for dramatics. He waited until the quiet got a tiny bit tense, then quietly, simply, said, “In 1983, your shoe boxes were full of shoes. Now they’re full of guns. Pick them up on the way to Harrington’s, would you? All of them.”
“What.” Her face froze, blank.
He had more things he could say, but if he could convince Nancy, he figured the kids would shut up until they got everyone in one place. She was scary enough to buy him a little more time.
“Am I wrong?”
“How do you know that?”
“Told you. End of the world and I know what’s coming.” 
She nodded once, cautious and serious.
Eddie clapped his hands loudly to break the mood, and turned back to the gremlins. “Max, Lucas, Robin, you’re with me. Dustin, Mike, go with Nancy. ”
“No, get back here, Munson, how do you know that? How do you know any of this?”
“Yeah, sorry, I would, but we’re on the clock. I’m not gonna waste time doing this song and dance twice aaaaaaaand, tragically, for me, but excellent news for Henderson; I need Harrington.”
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yandere-daydreams · 11 months
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Fox Hybrid!Childe, who arrives at the sanctuary where you volunteer in the dead of winter. He's brought in by a group of hunters who found him in a decade-old bear trap on the verge of freezing to death. He's aggressive at first, still rattled from such a close call, but comes around quickly after a warm bath, a visit with your on-call vet, and of course, something to fill his stomach.
Fox Hybrid!Childe, who can't be released back into the wild while he's still in recovery or left alone overnight, not when he's so eager to play fight with the other hybrids. He gets along well enough with all the volunteers, but he's constantly trying to get your attention, either sulking as you tend to another hybrid or drinking in your generously-given affection. You're clearly his favorite, so you're the one to take him home. He's ecstatic about the change in scenery, to say the least.
Fox Hybrid!Childe, who takes to being a housepet like a fish takes to water. You try to make up for the lack of stimulation with a never-ending supply of thrifted toys and as many walks as his injured leg will allow, but he prefers to spend most of his time curled up at your feet or trailing after you, ginger ears perked-up and blur eyes wide and bright. He's surprisingly good at household chores for a wild animal. By the end of the first week, he's cooking and cleaning on his own, and when you insist that he's your guest, that you don't want him to get too domesticated, he just laughs and tells you that he likes it, that he's used to hunting for his siblings. Since you won't let him bring the birds and rabbits he catches past the front door, this is how he's decided to provide for you.
Fox Hybrid!Childe, who destroys your apartment the first time you leave him alone for more than an hour. It makes sense, even if you can't say you've ever seen another hybrid react so violently to being separated from their handler. Foxes are social animals, and he hasn't been on his own since he was brought to your sanctuary, since the day he stumbled into a trap he couldn't understand or struggle his way out of. Still, when you come home to find all his toys gutted and all of your furniture overturned, you can't say you're thrilled. Childe spends the rest of the day buried in your sheets, pouting until you finally give in and forgive him. Childe goes wherever you go, after that.
Fox Hybrid!Childe, who suddenly seems a lot less friendly than he did, when you first took him in. You try to write it off as him being overly protective of his temporary skulk, but it's a little hard to tell that to your male friends when he bares his teeth and snaps at their hands. In public, he refuses to leave your side, his tail constantly thrashing and his ears pressed flush to his scalp. He'll still smile, laugh, promise he doesn't get jealous that easily, but it's difficult to take his word for it when he holds your hand so tightly.
Fox Hybrid!Childe, who's been scenting you in your sleep for weeks, nuzzling into the crook of your neck and gripping at any flesh he can reach and humping your thighs until he inevitably climaxes and has to clean his cum off of your skin with his tongue. He makes a point of 'accidentally' staining anything he doesn't want you wearing in front of anyone but him, letting you think he's too vulnerable to his animalistic urges to not mark your favorite top with his cum, that his separation anxiety is just too severe for you to shower without him, let alone close the door when you change.
Fox Hybrid!Childe, whose leg has been fine for months. You're too much of a bleeding heart not to buy it when he puts on a half-hearted limp, and while he hates having to lie to his future mate, he hates being away from you more. It's not a permanent arrangement, either - he'll be able to tell you the truth when you're fully bonded, when you're heavy with his pups and coming undone on his knot every night, every minute he can get with you.
Fox Hybrid!Childe, who's not going to let anyone take him away from his precious mate now <3
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familyvideostevie · 5 months
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you have me, you have me only
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joel miller x reader you get (minorly) injured on patrol. joel does his best to patch you up and not worry too much. | jackson!joel, hurt/comfort, wound-patching, some blood, a jesse cameo, joel being joel, all that good stuff. | 4.2k a/n: part of the just and just as verse. not too soft but not too angsty, either. just another day after the end of the world, you know? thank you @mrsmando for your eyes on this! <3
___
"Almost there," you mutter. "Fuck."
The icy winter wind dulls the stinging in your palms to a numbness. The leather gloves you've had for half a decade stay tucked in your pockets. You don't want to ruin their lining with dirt and blood.
"How's the head?" 
Jesse pulls up alongside you in a trot. The adrenaline from your patrol-gone-wrong pulses heavy at the top of your spine, your vision sharp and the whole world a little too loud around you as Jackson comes into view at the bottom of the hill. Your head, like the rest of you, throbs.
"I'll live."
He scoffs and his horse snorts as if agreeing with him. In truth, you're more pissed than injured, though it certainly looks like you lost a fight. Jesse's cheekbone will no doubt bloom purple tomorrow and his lip is still bleeding sluggishly. His jeans are splattered with gore, same as yours.
"Thanks for back there," he says.
You shrug and wince when it pulls at the skin of your side where you fell. 
"You, too," you tell him with a grimace. "That was quick thinking with the brick."
You like him -- he's good at his job and he's a good friend to Ellie. You know Tommy and Maria are not-so-subtly training him to run this place someday if he wants to. As a patrol partner, you can't ask for much better. He knows all the routes and he's a good shot and his mom knows everything there is to know about everyone in town and sometimes he passes tidbits on to you.
But knowing your shit doesn't mean a damn thing in this world, sometimes. You can still get ambushed by infected on patrol and it can still fuck up your day.
He waves you off. "I just can't believe an elk chose our station to fucking die in."
"Tommy is going to shit himself when you tell him," you laugh. It pulls at your ribs. God, is there any part of you that didn't take a beating?
"He'll just be pissed he wasn't here."
Your horses reach the bottom of the hill and Jesse hesitates, the green scrap of cloth in his hand. The red one indicating an injured party peeks out from his pocket.
"Are you sure you don't want to go to the clinic?"
"I'm fine," you say firmly. "I can patch up at home."
He eyes the cut on your forehead and your scraped palms but caves under your glare and waves the green flag.
"Joel makes the same face," he mutters. "Ellie does, too. Freaky."
The gates open and you grunt when you get off your horse, palms back to stinging.
"Joel's two expressions are pissed and annoyed," you say. “Not hard to pick one up.” You press the back of your hand to your forehead and it comes back tacky with blood. "Fuck."
"I don't think you'll need a stitch." Jesse holds his hand out for your patrol rifle and pats the neck of your horse. "I'll debrief and get these guys settled. You go home."
Normally, you'd protest. But you really just want to take a hot shower and sleep for twelve hours, so you nod and shoulder your pack carefully.
"Make sure you tell Tommy about beating a stalker to death with a brick," you call over your shoulder. "He'll be impressed."
Jesse laughs.
Snow crunches under your boots on the way home. Fuck, you're exhausted. The adrenaline fades with each step and the aches become sharp pains. There aren't too many people out today on account of the cold but you nod and wave, ignoring the double takes at the blood on your clothes.
It'll be a pain in the ass if you can't patch the ruined knees of your jeans. Maybe you can convince Joel to carve something for the woman down the street who can sew better than anyone in town. Finding new pants is damn near impossible.
You’re practically dragging your feet by the time you reach your house. The mailbox labeled Miller, the wind chimes gently swaying on the porch, all of it puts you at ease. You made it home.
The porch steps groan as you climb them and the front door opens from the inside as you reach the top. Joel steps out, hand still on the knob when he looks up and sees you. His eyes widen.
He was on patrol today, too. You left at the same time but he had a shorter route and must have gotten back a while ago.
"Are you coming to meet me?" you say with a grin that's genuine despite the way your body pulses with pain. He does this sometimes -- milling around the gate, chatting with people on the wall as he waits for you to return. You never really feel like you're home until you see his face.
Joel does not smile back. His eyes rake over you the same way he surveys a room, cataloging all of the important things. The gash on your temple, the rips in your jeans, the way you're favoring your left side. The blood, too -- it's everywhere, you're sure. Palms, knees, collar. Jesse helped you wipe your face before you rode back so that you could see without blood in your eyes, but you must look pretty fucking rough.
"Jesus," he says. His hand twitches like he's going to reach for you. "You okay?"
"I'll be better when I'm not standing out in the cold."
His nostrils flare and he heads back into the house, you on his heels. You dump your pack and sit down heavily on the bench to take off your boots. Joel beats you to it, lowering to one knee with a slight groan, fingers working at your laces.
Normally he'd ask how patrol was, how Jesse did, if you saw anything interesting. Instead, his cheek twitches like he's clenching his jaw so hard it hurts. He unties your double knots with practiced ease and his silence fills the entryway of your house.
In another life, the sight of him on one knee would set your heart aflutter. As it is, you want to run a hand through his hair and smooth the worry lines on his forehead. You know him and this is how he handles it -- he chews on blame that doesn't belong on his shoulders until he can fix it.
"I'm fine," you say softly. You open and close your hands, resting them on your knees. You got most of the gravel out but there's dirt and god knows what else embedded in the tender flesh. Joel pulls off one boot with a firm hand on your calf and then the other before finally looking up at you.
"You wanna explain...this, then?"
His hand waves up in your general direction. There's no tremble in his palm but his brows are furrowed, his shoulders set in that way of his, like he's bracing for bad news. You have a rule about not lying to each other. So if you say you're fine, you're fine. Achey, bloody, and gross, sure. But you made it home in one piece and now you'll let him take care of you and he has to be okay with that.
But you don't mind reassuring him. He worries, and you know the feeling.
You shrug and fail to hide your wince. Joel wraps a hand around your ankle and squeezes lightly.
"I've had worse," you say. "I'll tell you about it if you patch me up."
He softens a little and sighs. It won't do anything to remind him that he can't go back in time and stop you from getting hurt. Joel knows he can't fix everything, can't keep everyone he loves away from harm, can't save the world. Won't, if it comes at the expense of the people in his heart.
But you can give him something to do -- a way to make it better. You could probably bandage your hands and your forehead and the rest on your own but it'll help him just as much as you if he does it.
Life in this world is a constant give and take. You have to be okay with some things, with cuts and bruises and ruined clothes if it means you survived. There's no safety, not anymore.
"Alright, c'mon," he says, standing with a groan. "Upstairs, 'fore you bleed on the furniture."
He holds out a hand for you to stand but you show him your mangled palm. Joel clicks his tongue and grips your forearm gently instead as you rise.
"Gotta clean that," he says.
"That's the plan." You leave your coat and pack behind in a heap and head for the stairs. "A hot shower sounds so fucking good right now."
Joel stops you with a hand on your elbow and you turn on the bottom step. He traces the cut on your forehead with light fingers and you try not to wince.
"Shower," he says.  "I'll patch you up after." His tone leaves no room for argument.
You ghost your fingertips along his jaw and smile at him.
"Yes sir, Mr. Miller, sir."
More tension melts from his shoulders and he rolls his eyes at you. You laugh all the way to the bathroom, even though it hurts a little.
It's been a while since one of you returned from patrol with any sort of injury. Winter means the hoards are sluggish and easy to track and tends to keep groups of people from coming to the valley and making trouble. Today was bad luck and could have been much worse.
You both know how quickly all of the good in your lives can be snatched away. Everyone does.
But you just can't dwell on it. Joel knows it, too, and letting him fuss over you in that way of his will remind him. You're home. You're okay.
You leave the bathroom door cracked as you shower under the gentle spray. Your various injuries sting but you manage to clean the scrapes on your knees and hands and wash the blood from your skin and hair, the water rusty brown as it swirls around the drain. 
Joel knocks when you're almost done and the hinges groan when he steps into the bathroom.
"Leavin' you clothes," he says, voice raised so you hear over the spray. "You okay?"
"Still alive," you call back. "Almost done."
The water starts to turn lukewarm so you switch off the stream and drag back the curtain. Joel is nowhere to be found but he's left you loose shorts so your knees are exposed and a big, faded graphic t-shirt that you brought home for him as a joke last year as well as fresh underwear and warm socks. You gently pat your skin dry with an old and scratchy towel and do your best with your hair before sliding them on. 
Joel knocks again and this time he has the bag with all of your first aid stuff in his hands. The steam from your shower rushes out into your bedroom and you shiver.
He jerks his chin at the counter. "Wanna get up there?"
You haul yourself up with a groan and he stands between your knees, arms crossed and head cocked.
"What're we dealin' with, here?"
You look down at your messy palms and rattle off what hurts.
"Cut on my forehead, bruised rib, probably, fucked up hands and knees, and..." You look up and find Joel running a hand down his face. "That's it."
"You sure?"
You glare at him. He glares back. His eyes drift to your forehead gash.
"Cut could use a stitch." 
He's still tense, you can tell, probably will be until he wakes up tomorrow and you're still next to him in bed. Until the wounds turn to scabs turn to scars. Maybe not even then.
"I think I've had enough cuts over the years to know what needs a stitch."
His eyebrows rise just a little bit, turning his expression from interrogative to exasperated, but he knows better than to tell you to do something when you’ve set your mind against it.
"They're offerin' medical degrees on the Creek Trails, now?"
"Joel."
He holds his hands up in surrender. "Fine," he says. "Let me feel your ribs."
You raise your arms a little and he slides his palms under your shirt and up your torso, pressing gently as he goes. Braless as you are, he brushes the underside of your breast, and your breath hitches. His eyes are soft with quiet amusement but he doesn't tease you.
"Your hands are warm," you murmur. He reaches the place on your side that took the brunt of the impact and you hiss.
"Sorry," he says. "Doin' real good. Deep breath for me." You obey and he withdraws, satisfied.
"Nothin' broken," he says.
"Told you."
He hums and pulls out the precious few disinfectant wipes from your first aid kid. You can get Joel to do a lot of things just by asking, but arguing with him about wasting supplies on you never works. He washes his hands in the sink and glares are you like he knows what you’re thinking.
"Forehead first, then hands, then knees," he says. "Okay?'
You nod, eyes fluttering shut. He grips your face with gentle fingertips to keep you still.
"How was your patrol?" you ask him.
He makes a noise low in his throat that's halfway to being a laugh.
"C'mon," he says. "You don't want to hear about mine. I know you're dyin' to tell me what happened."
The alcohol wipe stings as he swabs at your forehead and you tense. Joel's thumb rubs slow circles at the corner of your mouth and you press your knees into his hips.
Funny how you've had broken bones, been stabbed, shot, pretty much everything over the last twenty years but it's the small stuff that hurts the most. Stubbed toes, sliced fingers, alcohol wipes on shallow wounds. Some things just don't change.
"Okay," you say. "Well, you'll never believe it, but a damn elk decided to die in the station where the logbook is."
You tell him how you and Jesse rode up and saw the blood trail immediately and heard the moans and groans. You kept the horses on the other side of the fence and checked the first floor and the overlook, but the elk had weaseled its way under the collapsed staircase.
It smelled like death, rust and decay heavy in the air. The animal must have died just after the last patrol.
But it wasn't the problem. It was the group of Infected it attracted -- two runners and four stalkers. You have no idea where they came from but, since you were on patrol, the priority was eliminating them. The runners were easier, although one of them was responsible for the gash on your forehead when it managed to push you into the wall. You and Jesse cleared them quickly, one bullet each.
You thought you got all of the stalkers. One of them was munching on the carcass and went down fairly easily with your good aim. Jesse helped you clean your forehead so you both could clear the passage to get to the upper level and sign the logbook. The corpses went over the side of the station into the forest below. The Infected had eaten so much of the elk that it wasn't too heavy, though you both were sweating and dirty by the time you finished.
"Lemme guess," Joel says. You open your eyes as he carefully pulls the wound closed with two butterfly bandages before he gestures for your hand. He holds your wrist gently and tilts your palm side to side, looking for dirt. "There were infected inside the station, too."
"Look at you," you tease. His eyes flick to yours for just a second, intense as always. "It's like you were there."
"Smartass," he grumbles. The disinfectant stings on your palm, too, but you keep talking and keep your gaze on his face.
"Jesse climbed the rope up to the control room first but had to fend off a stalker at the top so he didn't see when another one grabbed my ankle and pulled me down mid-climb, which fucked my hands. The fall is how my rib got bruised and I tore up my knees fending it off."
Joel's cheek twitches. He wraps one of your palms in gauze and turns his attention to the other.
"Fuckin' hate those things."
"Me, too. When I got to the top, finally, Jesse was tugging a pipe from the head of a corpse. There was one more -- it jumped out of that supply room on the side, the one where Ellie found a bong, once, I think. I dodged it but my gun jammed and my hands were bleeding."
"Should've been wearing gloves."
You tap his leg with your foot and ignore him. Not taking your bait about the bong means he’s still pissed. "And then Jesse killed it with a brick."
"I taught him that," Joel grumbles.
He ties off your other palm and as soon as he's done you frame his face. Joel allows it, allows you to stare at him for a few seconds like you're memorizing him. You're telling the story like it was a fun adventure -- and it was. You're plenty capable and he knows it, too.
But you were scared. You don't tell him that right now, instead grounding yourself in the man in front of you. His hands are rough and dangerous to most, but tender and careful to you. The broad, firm line of his shoulders, always braced for the next hit.
The gash on the bridge of his nose, the lines at the corners of his eyes. His beard, greyer every year. You swipe your thumbs along his cheekbones and he sighs.
"Lucky me," you say softly.
You lean in to kiss him, just a light press of your lips to his. His wide palms rest on your bare thighs and he kisses back with a kind of desperate firmness, as if he's proving to himself that you're real. That you're here in front of him, under his hands, in his care.
Joel drags his lips along your cheek.
"Knees," he says.
He steps back and releases your thighs with a squeeze. He treats more of your torn skin, a frown back on his face.
"I do want to hear about your patrol, by the way."
He shrugs. "Not much to tell," he says. "Didn't even get to shoot anythin’.”
You swing your foot back and forth, tapping the side of his thigh with every pass.
"But you had the nice route," you whine. "Tell me what the lake looked like."
"Quit distracting me," he grumbles.
"Like you don't have the steadiest hands in all of Jackson," you say softly.
He snorts. "Are you flirtin' with me?"
"I'm always flirting with you, Joel Miller."
You lied to Jesse earlier -- Joel has hundreds of expressions. He just keeps most of them for you. For Ellie, and Tommy, too. You know every one of them by now.
The look on his face now says he's thinking about kissing you again, maybe just to shut you up.
You grin at him. "Tell me about your patrol, now, seriously. Unless talking and using your hands at the same time is too much for you."
He smirks back. "Think we both know that ain't true."
"Now who's flirting?"
Lazy heat curls in your belly but fatigue stops it from turning into anything. Joel must see that in your eyes because he simply taps your chin with a knuckle and starts talking.
You start to slump as his Texas drawl wraps around you. He tells you how the lake was still, how he and Astrid saw bear tracks but no bear. How he found a tape for Ellie that he's going to give her tomorrow, how he wore his gloves today like you've been telling him to.
Some people might say that Joel is a man of few words. You thought he was the quiet type when you first met him, another stoic survivor in a world that demands hardness of everyone. But not shy, never shy. Just...waiting. Watching.
He and Ellie can shoot the shit for hours -- a dynamic they've fallen back into easily enough since they started spending time together again. He's funny, he's clever, he's annoying as shit when he wants to be.
And Joel is quite the storyteller. If you had to guess you'd say it comes from having to entertain Tommy when they were kids, from getting Sarah into bed on his own over and over. Keeping Ellie occupied, keeping her talking when things were scary and hard and fucking awful.
It's just another way he takes care of people.
"Still with me?" he says. You realize your eyes have closed. When you open them you find Joel looking at you with tenderness and a spark of amusement. The tense line of his shoulders is nowhere to be seen. "All done. Tired?"
"And hungry."
He washes his hands and throws away the various wrappers and blood-stained wipes.
"Sure you're awake enough to eat?" he teases.
You roll your eyes at him. He laughs.
"Joel," you say, catching his elbow. "Thank you."
"C'mon, now."
He looks like he wants to argue with you for saying it but reaches for you instead. He traces the cut on your forehead just like he did at the bottom of the stairs, brow drawn again. You can't tell what he's thinking as he drags his thumb down and around your eye, cupping your cheek fully for just a breath before releasing you and stepping towards the door.
"I'll heat some soup."
Dinner is quick and quiet, your energy sapped from you to the point of exhaustion. Everything aches, despite Joel's thorough care. When he suggests turning in early you don't protest.
He takes longer than you to get ready for bed. You slide under the worn duvet and wait, trying very hard to keep your eyes open. Your bruised ribs throb in time with your heartbeat and when Joel finally turns off the light and gets in bed next to you in his threadbare sleep pants he practically hauls you into his embrace.
You go willingly, tangling your legs and laying your head on the juncture of his neck and shoulder. You press your palm to his chest, fingers threading in the coarse hair. His heart thuds and it grounds you.
"I didn't get any good gossip off Jesse," you whisper. "On account of the whole surprise-infected thing."
He yawns. "S'pose it's a good excuse."
"Can I tell you something else?" you whisper. "A secret?"
Joel hums, lips brushing your temple as his hand snakes up your sleep shirt to press against your lower back.
Even though you know each other down to the bones, some things remain inexplicable. Parts of your pasts that linger in the darkest parts of you, the parts that stay shrouded until the moments like this. You don't have to be brave in the quiet hours of the night, entwined with him as you are. It's the safest place you'll ever be. Safe enough that you can crack open and let Joel in, let those steady and worn hands keep you together.
"I was scared today," you say into his neck. "When the stalker dragged me off the rope. I panicked, I --"
You don't tell him how your initial thought when you hit the ground was of him, how you closed your eyes tight and thought of your name from his mouth, of his smile when you come through the door. The stalker had its bony fingers digging into your ankle and you wondered if you'd ever feel Joel's hands on you again.
Death will come for you sooner or later and when it does it'll be Joel's face that you hold in your mind before it all ends.
But today, you kicked death until its stupid fucking mushroom skull caved in.
Joel presses his lips to your temple. You can feel his heart beating faster, as fast as yours. It's the only thing that betrays his own fear.
Wounds in this life often go deeper than the skin. When Joel comes home with bloody knuckles and shuttered eyes it's one thing to stop the bleeding, to bandage him and get him to eat something. It's another to hold him, to coax out the story, the fear. To follow him downstairs when he has a nightmare, to look for him in every room. It's all part of what you do as partners, as lovers, as people in this world. You take care of each other.
Neither of you can fix a lot of things. But you can ensure the scars heal into something light, something you can barely see.
You can hold each other in the dark.
"Scared me, too," he rasps. A secret for a secret. "Lotta damn blood."
You kiss the underside of his jaw. "Can't get rid of me that easy."
Joel pulls you closer, somehow, mindful of your side.
"Rest, now," he says. "You ain’t goin' anywhere."
It's a command, a promise. You hum your agreement and let sleep drag you under.
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fan-goddess · 1 month
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can you hotd characters (mostly alicent and rhaenrya) when the reader almost passes in child birth? thank youuuu :3
A/N: Yep can do! I’ve never given birth, gotten pregnant nor seen anything resembling child birth apart from the Aemma scene in HOTD so I hope I did this justice!? Sorry this has taken so long!
Character Roll Call: Rhaenyra, Alicent, Daemon, Aemond and Jacaerys (All romantic love)
Warnings: Child birth, talk of infertility, talk of not able to have children, pregnancy, she/her pronouns used in some places for reader, talk of death during childbirth, talk about smut but no smut, dirty talk, a most likely inaccurate childbirth telling, graphic detailing of blood and gore, this is not proofread! (if I miss any please let me know in a way you’re most comfortable!)
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Rhaenyra Targaryen:
It was not the typical marriage you and your husband shared. For whilst you had never had a particular fondness for goose, he understood that and went after his own interest in tasting the variety the world provided him with.
So while he was off exploring, you were in the chambers of the heir of the realm. Showing her your devotion in the most unexpected of ways.
Yet soon, after nearly two years of marriage with no children, people were beginning to become suspicious of your womb. More specifically, your husband’s own family. There was talk of them already arranging a second marriage for him as your womb was supposedly infertile. So after a talk with him, you and your husband for a whole of three months, with the help of Rhaenyra. And just when you thought your efforts were unsuccessful, the maester greeted you with a smile, and told you you were with child.
Your lover took the news surprisingly well, as Rhaenyra spent all hours of the day with you comparing possible names for the baby. Your husband had done his part in this game. Now, you and Nyra could spend your days eating the cake and kissing the days away. Acting oblivious to the hateful world surrounding the two three of you.
“What about Aurion?” Nyra suggests, a lazy smile on her lips as she places a fork with a large chunk of vanilla cake on the end between your lips.
“Hmmmmm” You hum, smiling in thought. “Perhaps let’s not raise more suspicions than we’d like my darling. How about something not so Valyrian?”
She laughs, and yet agrees with you with her smile turning strained and sad. Her hand reaches for your own instinctively and you quickly move to grab it and squeeze it tight. “Alright alright! What about Rhys? Ivan? Those are some more boring names!”
You laugh, and yet make sure to note them down somewhere in your head. You discuss names of girls also, just in case. Yet months later as you sat screaming your heart out on the birthing bed, those names disappeared as pain became all you know.
“You must push my lady! The baby is trapped you must push!” One of the ladies in waiting says as she positions herself by your bottom half.
“I’M TRYING TO FUCKING PUSH!” You scream, sweat dripping down your face as your eyes screw shut. Your voice loud as the pain spreads further through you, till eventually you feel it all over.
Soon, the pain that blooms all over becomes numbing. Especially, when you feel your eyes becoming heavy, eventually shutting so all you see is black and the world becomes silent.
“What is happening?!” Rhaenyra screams, her face becoming pale as memories of her mother come flooding to her head. “What is happening to her?!”
“The lady is haemorrhaging!” One of the maesters yells, a multitude of rags of all sorts in his hands as he attempts to stop the blood from further dripping onto the floor. The babe that had quite literally fallen out of your whilst you had fallen unconscious was quickly taken away by the ladies in waiting to be cleaned and attended to. So now, all focus was on keeping you alive. By order of the future Queen of Westeros.
It feels as thought it had taken hours to stop the bleeding. Yet that meant nothing till Rhaenyra who waited anxiously by your side with your hand in her own. Her fingers poised by your pulse so she can reassure herself that you were truly living beside her and not dead like her mother.
By the time you had finally begun to rouse from your deep slumber, the day had turned to night. And all those in the room were exhausted from the effort it took. The maesters in particular, who knew that if they allowed themselves to slack, the princess would soon be upon them with the fury of the dragons.
“My love….” Rhaenyra whispered, at this point uncaring of the multiple people in that room who’d scuttle themselves to her father and the hand at the slightest chance of a scandal. “Do you hurt?”
“As much as childbirth allows me to be in…” You laugh, yet wincing as soon as your body moves. “I am glad you were here… i fear if you weren’t-“
“Do not speak of such things!” Rhaenyra begs, her hands clutching your own tightly as if she was fearful you would drop dead. “I forbid it!”
“Do you say that as my future queen or as my friend?” You murmur, both knowing the true meaning of the word.
“I say that as both..” Rhaenyra whispers, kissing the top of your head as one of the ladies in waiting comes in holding the bundle containing your baby.
“It’s a daughter, my lady.” She says, walking over and placing her in your arms.
“She’s beautiful…” you can’t help but say, brushing away one of her curls from her eyes. You can feel Rhaenyras eyes on you, and so you take her hand and somehow manage to pull her closer.
“I wish to name her Arya.” You firmly say, locking eyes with your daughter who begins to cry in hunger.
“Beautiful…” Rhaenyra says, unable to tear her eyes from the sight of you beginning to breastfeed your child.
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Alicent Hightower:
Even while Alicent was married to the king, yours and hers unique relationship had never once wavered. When Alicent had her children with the king, who did not even enter the room when the time of birth came, it was you who held her hand in place of her mother’s, and murmured soft words of encouragement and affirmation into her ears.
While you had your own, even though your mother was there to be by your side as a place of comfort, it was only Alicent name that sprung from your lips. Begging for her to come closer so you can hold her hand and beg her for mercy and encouragements.
Most recently, your third pregnancy had been said by the maesters to be the most difficult one yet. Pain was all you knew through those last few months. Pain in your legs from when you were forced to walk to the dining hall. Pain in your belly from where not only did the baby insist on kicking but also from the cramps the maesters insisted did not need to be further looked at.
Yet Alicent was always close by ready to lend a helping hand whenever the moment allowed her too. According to her, she still has the old treatment the maesters had prescribed her with just in case she fell pregnant again after Daeron.
“You… my utter darling, are my world!” You moaned, eyes shut closed as Alicent carefully massaged the soothing ointment into the base of your feet. She continues to help whenever she can. The ointments and herbs she providing you with being much better than anything the dreading maesters could’ve ever given you.
Yet like most treatments, the effectiveness wore off. Soon, not even the most obscure of medicines would work on you. Pain was always lingering in every part of your body. Even in places you had no idea were on your body.
“I just want this babe out of me!” You groan one night while Alicent once again attempts to stop your pain using this time a supposed miracle working ointments from Lys. “Nothing is fucking working!”
“Well complaining won’t solve anything!” Alicent attempts to jest, though quickly haults any other further attempt after a harsh glare worthy enough to rival the Strangers is sent hastily her way. “Perhaps it is the gods way of telling you how strong you are for having this child? A way to tell you how powerful your son will no doubt be in the future?”
“I would not care if I was to birth a dragon for gods sakes I only with for it to come out of me so I can no longer feel so fucking horrible!” You groan, “I have already told my lord husband that this shall be my last time on that fucking bed! If he even brings his cock within inches of me it’s being torn off his body and fed to your children’s dragons my love!”
“Oh hush now!” Alicent scows, a rare bout of anger coming about her. “The gods have their meanings and their ways! Though I for once shall agree with you. You will be having three beautiful children my love, and that is all you need. Perhaps you could give birth to a daughter and we can betroth her to Aemond?”
“Perhaps…”
By the time the ninth moon has passed, it is quick to say that you were very much serious about this being your last child.
“GET THE FUCKING CHILD OUT OF ME!” You scream, the maesters wincing at the volume rivalling that of a child being born. Something your own child it seems is refusing to let happen. “RIP IT OUT IF MUST BUT IF I DIE I SHALL HAUNT THIS KEEP FOREVER MORE!”
“There shall be no talk of dying on this bed from you!” Alicent yells, her grip on your hands almost as tight as your hand on hers.
The maesters voices cutting through though as they announce how they can see the babes head. Meaning to much your relief the pain will hopefully be soon over and you can hold the thing that’s been hurting you for nearly nine moons in your arms to give it a stern talking off.
You make sure to push hard when the maesters tell you too, even pushing when they don’t so you could hopefully get the babe out quicker. But even when you feel the babe quite literally fall out of you and hear its cries, the maesters make their own cries far more audible.
“Alicent what is happening?!” You ask, feeling what feels like warm liquid gushing from your lower half. Only she does not respond. Only turning paler than the sheets that with horror, you realise are turning a deep red from blood. Your blood.
And It only turns worse when you realise just how faint you feel. A once iron grip you had on Alicents hand turning weak and feeble as your eyes slowly begin shutting.
It’s all a blur when you feel your body waking. Yet still your eyes have not grown enough strength to open, so it’s with great horror you realise you are still conscious but are practically unable to move. You are alive but it is as if your body is dead.
You can hear Alicent beg for your sake. And you realise with your heart beating frantically in your chest that you can also hear her hushing a baby you had not realised was crying this whole time. Your baby.
“Your mother is sleeping now…” You can hear her say, tears building in your eyes when you hear how damaged her voice sounds. “She is strong, your mother. She will wake and see what a beautiful baby boy she has waiting for her… it won’t be long now. I promise.”
You try as hard as you can to open your eyes, yet your attempts prove to be impossible. Yet somehow, you manage to utter two words to your lover while your lower half screams in pain at you.
“Thank you…”
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Daemon Targaryen:
It was no surprise to anyone when after a few mere moons after your marriage to the rogue Prince Daemon, you were announcing you were pregnant with his child.
The king had said his congratulations and announced a feast in his nephew or nieces name, and even Daemon had to admit the whole ceremony was wonderful.
Yet like everything in life, all good things must come to an end. The announcement of the first babe of the rogue prince turned sour as news quickly spread about how much pain you were in from them.
The babe refused to let you rest for even a second. All it did was kick and kick, and make you feel shitter than any other possible ailment in the world. You almost felt like having a conversation with the stranger after one too many bouts of particularly bad spells.
“You must let your muña rest ñuha trēsy… let ñuha jorrāelagon rest…” Daemon murmurs one night against the swollen bulge of your stomach. The warmth his dragon like body providing you with being possibly the best thing he’s given you since the day you married him.
“You know I do not understand a single thing you say in that tongue of yours…” You say, eyes closed as you relish in the lack of kicking and blinding pain. If it wasn’t obvious before, it was at least obvious now that your child had chosen favourites.
“Just because you cannot understand something does not mean you cannot understand the beauty of it.” Daemon murmurs, his voice gentle and nurturing as he continues attempting to soothe you.
His words to others would be considered strange and out of character. But as you’ve come to realise over the time of your betrothal and marriage, even though that shared time has lasted around only a year, you know deep down beneath the hardened dragon scale skin of his is a heart that bears solely for the life of those he loves. The latest addition being of course the babe of his own blood nestled in your belly.
It was such a lovely moment, and yet it seemed that would be the last of its kind the rest of the time your babe was steadily growing inside. The more time passed the less Daemons unusually warm body worked in soothing your unrelenting aches and pains.
“Are you okay ñuha jorrāelagon?” He asks one evening, his brows furrowed in what has become a near constant state of stress and worry for you. For is has now nearly been a full nine moons of pregnancy, and with that, it means the babe will hopefully be born.
“Unless you can get this child out of me with no pain,” You grunt, mentally cursing Daemons cock for being what it was. “Then I suggest you leave me be and allow me to wallow with the seed you yourself placed within me!”
For the first time in a while, Daemons worried stricken face turns cheery as he laughs at the familiar wit of yours that helped him to fall in love with you in the first place. The rest of the day is filled with similar circumstances, as while the babe continues to make your days a misery, Daemon is right by your side never ever venturing too far away from you.
You suppose it is why he insisted on being by your side when two days pass and you were on the birthing bed, his hand locked firmly in yours while your screams echo off the walls. You swear you can feel your cunt tear and drip with blood, yet with how much you screamed you honestly couldn’t be able to hear it.
“Please Daemon!” You beg, a multitude of tears running down your face. “Please make it stop!”
“It’ll be over soon ñuha jorrāelagon…” Daemon tries to comfort you with soft words and a tight reassuring grip, and yet his face clear as day is struck with fear and nervousness.
“You said that hours ago Daemon!” You sob, screaming even more as you feel the dragon spawn within you break even more of your innards. “I just want it out!”
“You will my love you will! You are strong and brave and a fighter! You will not die today do you hear me!?”
Daemons hands envelope the sides of your head to force you to look and him, and yet he’s utterly horrified when your eyes roll to the back of your head and your hand that was once clutching his shirt for dear life falls limply by your side.
Daemons words reach no bounds as he insults the maesters and common people alike, swearing if his wife was to die then all shall die with her. So even in the seven hells his wife can make sure she achieves the justice she deserves.
Yet it somehow enrages him further when by the next hour, the maesters have managed to successfully take out the babe from within you, and present it to him as his first born, whilst other maesters make quick work of stemming the bleeding and disposing of the evidence.
Daemons eyes watche as a wet nurse moves to take his son into her arms and takes him into another room so she can clean his son, and it’s not until they’ve left does he begin to shout.
“IS THAT ALL IT TOOK? MY WIFE WAS SCREAMING IN AGONY ON THE BED, BLOOD POURING OUT, AND YET IT IS ONLY WHEN YOUR LIVES ARE THREATENED DO YOU HELP HER?!” He yells, his hand clutching the hilt of dark sister as a reminder that he has the upper hand. He’s the prince of the realm. The rogue Prince. If he wanted to kill people then he will fucking kill someone.
The maesters faces turn ashen as they stand there, practically shaking as they fear for their lives. Daemon is almost tempted to actually kill them. To send a message that no one fucks around with the rogue princes wife. That is however, until he hears a stir behind him and feels a familiarly soft hand clutch his own that previously had clutched dark sister.
“My love!” Daemon breathes, his face one of pure joy as he drops the sword hastily and moves to clutch your still weak body in his arms. “I was so worried!”
“What have you done with my Daemon?” He can hear you say, the laughter in your tone surprising considering what had just happened.
“Don’t worry ñuha jorrāelagon, he was here a few moments ago, about to kill some pathetic fucking maesters…” Daemon begins, turning with a dark glare when he sees the said maesters still standing where they were before in fear. “But I suggest they scarper before dark sister becomes hungry for rat blood once more!”
This time, Daemon doesn’t turn back to watch them all practically run from the room. Not when there is someone in front of him so much more important.
“Where are they?” You say, your movements still sluggish as you wince while trying to turn your body to look around the room.
“Where is who ñuha jorrāelagon?” Daemon asks, preoccupied with finding the cup of milk of the poppy one of the maesters had said was somewhere in the room. A hum of satisfaction slipping his lips when he eventually sees it and grabs it, before placing it by your lips to try and force you to drink it.
“Where’s our baby?” You murmur, wincing again when the bitter taste of the drink runs down your throat. “I want to see them!”
“I will get him for you jorrāelagon.” Daemon says, moving to the direction of where the wet nurse had taken his son too. When he does find her, he does not care for whatever she has to say. Instead just moving to take the boy in his arms and walk back to you, who’s already sat up through the pain ready to see your son.
“Oh Daemon…” You breath, your eyes focused solely on the babe in his arms. “He’s beautiful…”
“He takes after you…” Daemon murmurs back. A soft smile on his face as he moves the boy into your arms. “What shall we name him my love?”
“What about Aenor? First of his name…”
“I love it…” Daemon murmurs, kissing the top of your sweat soaked head and moving to perch against the edge of the bed transfixed by the holy sight in front of him. “I love you…”
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Aemond Targaryen:
Your husband wasn’t anything except attentive. Every moment after finding out you were with child he spent within meters of yourself. Even when you slept, his hand was always placed on your stomach.
“I would never allow myself to live if you were hurt ñuha vēzos.” Aemond would murmur against your skin, amongst other Valyrian words this time against the curve of your slowly swelling belly. Each one sending your skin further and further aflame with desire and love for your husband.
The whole pregnancy though, for the most of it, was smooth and ordinary. The baby had begun to kick a little after the fifth moon of your pregnancy, and Aemond was eager to experience every part of it. Yet when you’d passed the eighth moon, that was when everything began to turn on its head.
Pain was blooming in your stomach nearly everyday, and even with the maesters having to forcibly pour milk of the poppy down your throat, you had resisted firmly, not wanting the babies health to be put as such risk especially so close to the due date. Especially when you have been in the presence of the king, who openly abused the opioid near daily.
Yet the maesters with stern eyes and unwavering faces, claimed that if anything, it was the pain inside you that would risk the babies health. So whilst you wished pain on the maesters, they stood there stiffly with a near full to the brim cup of the drink. They watched every time you were needed to drink it. Even going as far as to make you open your mouth wide to make sure you weren’t resisting.
Aemond though like he had done so earlier in your pregnancy, was never as far as an arms reach. He never said anything to maesters face to face, yet he certainly did not hide his anger from you when the two of you would lay in bed holding one another in a close embrace.
“If it weren’t for the babe, I’d strike them where they stand…” He’d begun to murmur. Starting his now usual evening moan about how according to him, they weren’t good enough to care for his pregnant wife. Sometimes it’s sad as you realise how he at his lowest points believes even he is not good enough for you.
“Don’t let that stop you…” You indiscreetly murmur back, a clear glare on your face as you try to drink something to wash away the bitter taste of milk of the poppy.
“Dont you tempt me now ñuha vēzos… I very much can and will make my way to wherever those men lie and slaughter them before it’s time to break fast tomorrow.” Aemond chuckles, a comforting hand on your stomach where near instantly you can feel the babe kick twice. As if the babe was eager to say hello to its father.
“That’s right ñuha valītsos… kepa is here…” Aemond murmurs, his deep voice sending shivers down your very spine. If you weren’t already eight moons pregnant, you very well would be eager to take him right at this moment and take his seed deep inside till it takes root.
“You are getting distracted valītsos…” Aemond says, smirking at the dark blush that spreads on your face. It matters not how long you’ve been married to Aemond for, since he’ll always manage to find a way to fluster him. You suppose it’s as fun for him as it is for you to fluster him. Though you suppose by doing that is how you ended up in this position in the first place…
“How can I not, when theres such a beautiful man in front of me?” You say, grinning triumphantly when Aemonds own face turns a light pink. It’s not as dark as your own, but even seeing Aemond blush without him trying to hide himself away counts as a win to you.
The two of you revel in the rare soft moment between you both, and it’s not long before you both fall asleep holding each other.
It felt so perfect at that moment, as all the previous worries about the babe swept away. The both of you honestly didn’t think the whole ordeal could get worse. That is however, until your waters broke and you were lying on the birthing bed. Your screams breaking Aemonds heart as he tries his best to comfort you to the best of his ability.
Yet his controlled anger and frustration comes out in waves as your screams continue further and further into the day, and the maesters it seems are no further to helping you than from when they started.
Aemond withholds every single urge to kill them for their insolence for your sake, given that they are supposedly they best men available to help bring his and your child into the world. Though when he sees your eyes roll to the back of your head and your body go limp after attempting to push the babe out again per the maesters instructions, all hell broke loose there and then.
“What have you done!?” Aemond yells, his voice whilst commanding also torn with how scared he feels at that moment. His uncles wife, and his grandsires wives had died in childbirth attempting to bring a child into the world. He cannot have such a thing happen to you.
“You are meant to help my wife not fucking kill her! If she is to die today then so shall all of you! Your blood shall stain these walls if she dies do you all understand!” He yells, tears brimming in his eyes from how emotional he currently feels. Aemond refuses to let go of you hand as the maesters scurry around like rats to appease him.
It’s not long before the sound of a babes cry brings him from his sorrowful thoughts.
“It’s a daughter my Prince.” One of the maesters says, before handing her off to a nearby maid presumably to go clean her off of all of your blood and other bodily fluids Aemond most certainly does not wish to be thinking of right now.
Instead, Aemond chooses to grab a lone damp cloth free from any uncleanliness, and carefully uses it to wipe away the sweat on your face. Yet even with all of that Aemond still believes you to be as beautiful as when he first ever saw you.
The sound of your blood onto the floor that Aemond had tried to ignore for his own sake earlier finally stops, and he’s grateful that the maid comes back with his daughter then so he doesn’t have to think about any of that.
“I will give the baby to a wetnurse my Prince for her first feed.” The maid begins to say, about to walk away. That is however before she feels the princes hand clutching tightly on her shoulder forbidding her to leave.
“She will feed from her mother.” Aemond says firmly, moving to take his daughter away from the silly woman’s grasp. “‘Twas a decision me and my wife made and you shall respect that. Now leave.”
The maid stands there a moment surprised, even looking to the maesters for guidance in the situation. But when Aemond looks up at them with a cold glare on his face and a sneer on his lips, both the maesters and the maid make quick work on leaving the Prince with his daughter in his arms and his unconscious wife by his side.
He does not know how long it is till you finally begin to stir, and yet it does not matter. All that does matter is that you woke at all.
“How are you feel ñuha vēzos?” Aemond murmurs, his daughter in one arm as in the other he holds the cup holding the milk of the poppy he makes you drink. Making sure you don’t waste a drop.
“Like I’ve given birth…” You simply say, suddenly focusing on the baby in Aemonds arms. “Is that-“
“Yes ñuha vēzos. This is our daughter.”
Aemonds hands her to you, and when she begins to stir it’s almost instantly you bring down your dress and place her near your breast. Hissing slightly as she begins to immediately nurse from it.
“She’s beautiful.” You find yourself saying, refusing to take your eyes from her. “She looks like you sweet husband.”
“She may look like me but I believe she has her mother’s beauty.” Aemond says, moving to hold your hand in his. “What shall we name her my love?”
“What about Elaenor?”
“It’s perfect…” Aemond says, kissing the top of your head. “She’s perfect…”
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Jacaerys Velaryon:
It appears Jacaerys was ever as loyal as they say. As even after being married in an arranged fashion, and finding out you were pregnant with his child after consummating the marriage, his presence was never far from you.
When in the middle of the night sickness plagued your body, it was Jace who was right there next to you with a bucket in hand. Even going as far as to hold your hair back with his hand so no sick could ruin it.
“Is this what it is like for all women?” Jace asks, attempting to smooth you while you once again throw your dinner up into a bucket, groaning whilst you do so.
“Only the lucky…” You moan, about to turn to look at your husband before you find yourself immediately needing to throw up again.
At first, it was strange to you to have a husband be so close and eager to be by up side, given the stories that your mother had told you. Yet now, you honestly could not think of your marriage without the little services Jace provides you with.
Whenever you find yourself craving a certain food, no matter how bizarre or disgusting it may seem to him, Jace was always willing to call a maid and inform her to make it for you.
“Thank you husband.” You sigh in delight, chewing on some honey dipped carrots in the comfort of yours and Jaces bed.
“It is no problem my lady.” He says, awkwardly perched by the edge of the bed covers while he watches you eat.
“You can come closer Jace…” You laugh, patting the side of the bed indicating your want to have him closer to you. His warmth comforting. His smile kind. “You have seen me naked before. I do not think you have the ability right now to be shy. Call me by my name Jace. It is only fair since I have been calling you by yours.”
“Of course… wife.” Jace smiles, a strange girlish sounding giggle leaving your lips as he moves himself closer and opens his arms so he can enclose you in them. “Has the babe been bothering you much today?”
“Only as much as usual.” You sigh, choosing to invite his pointed stare in honour of eating another one of your special foods. “Though not as much as I have been eating these.”
“That is good.” He simply says, softly kissing the top of your head as he touches the skin of your arms with his hand. “That is good…” He repeats again more gentler than the last.
The next few months all went smooth as they could go. You were still throwing up in the mornings and some evenings, and experienced some horrible cramps once every few weeks. What was the most difficult and painful thing you had to endure however, was the birth of the babe itself.
It felt like it was ripping out of you. Screams pierced the air as it felt as if the babe was determined to take your insides out with it.
“It hurts!” You cry, holding Jaces hand so hard he has to hide any audible winces in pain, as whilst he is not the most experience man with women, he knew at that moment to not even think about saying his own pain. Not when he could tell his pain was like a mere headache compared to your own.
“It will soon be over!” Jace says, trying to squeeze your hand in an attempt to comfort you and let you know he is here. But with how much pain is flowing through your system he honestly doubts you can feel it right now.
“I just want it out!” You yell, screaming again as the maester intruders you to push. It’s almost like a rhythm, as when the maester tells you to push, you push. And when you push, you scream at the top of your lungs. It’s like that for what feels like hours and hours on end.
Yet soon, it’s finally over, as the maester finally steps away from you holding a crying baby. The maester looks at him, and shows him his crying daughter.
“A daughter my Prince.” The maester says, placing her in Jaces arms. Your husband’s eyes unable to tear away from the smallest child he thinks he’s ever seen. Possibly smaller than Joffrey from when he saw him as a child.
He turns to you to show you with a smile on his face, but that soon disappears when he sees your face.
“My love?” Jace begins, looking worriedly at your pale sweat layered skin. “You do not look well…”
You try to answer, and yet you even with all your strength you cannot even find yourself able to move your lips, your head even.
That though is when Jace turns his own head and sees the frantic moving of all the maesters and ladies in the room. It’s when he hears a most frightening of sounds. The sound of your blood falling and dripping onto the stone floor. It’s almost worse when he sees how deeply stained your dress is by your own blood.
He’s frozen as he stands there, completey horrified by what he’s seeing and hearing and yet he cannot find himself able to move. His daughter still in his arms, only it’s when she begins to fuss and make sound does another lady in waiting take her into her own arms to put her from the room.
The maesters are beginning to yell now. At the ladies in waiting mainly but to each other a handful of times too. They sound too loud. But that may be because Jace hasn’t said a word since you collapsed against a bed. He does not know what it is he should say. He does not know what it is he should do. His mother has insisted he be in the birthing room alone with his wife, and yet here he is standing alone in the middle of it looking like an idiot.
Yet while he’s thinking, it’s like some sort of driven force when he suddenly realises he’s been holding your hand. Your skin feeling cold and damp from sweat, and Jace stays there the entire time holding onto your hand and staring at you face. He commits to memory the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe, and the feeling of your heartbeat in his hand. He blocks out the sounds of chaos and panic, and chooses to focus on you.
Jacaerys slowly watches the colour bloom back into your face when the maesters finally manage to stem the flow of your blood and keep it inside you. Yet when he sees you open your eyes sluggish and exhausted, he cannot help but have his heart speed in happiness and joy. The smiles may have to come later though.
"My love, how do you feel?" Jace asks, still clutching your hand as he edges himself closer to you.
"Like l've given birth.." You simply say, even smiling as you slowly turn your head to look around the room. "Where is the babe?"
"She is with one of the ladies in the other room, if you wish me to fetch her I shall." He asks, watching as your eyes widen and your mouth fall open in what he can only say in a comedic fashion. Not that he'd dare mention that here though that is.
"We have a daughter…" You say, so silently that he barely even heard you. "Yes. Yes I want to see her!"
"I will go get the lady." Jace says, letting go of your hand for the first time in hours and admittedly as soon as he escapes your sights wipes the thick layer of sweat lingering on his hand on his shirt.
When he arrives back with his daughter in his arms though, he cannot help but smile as he watches your entire face light up at the sight of the babe with what could only be utter awe.
"We did that..." You say, reaching out and immediately rocking the small girl when she's in your arms. "We made her..."
“Yes…” Jace can’t help but agree with you, placing his hand on you as he sits beside you on the bed, watching you as you hold his and your child closely to your breasts. “We made her…”
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luveline · 3 months
Note
Can I request Eddie and R tending to each other’s wounds (given they both survive the demobats in the UD)?
ty <3 fem!reader, 1.4k 
cw canon typical violence
“You’re sweating like crazy.” 
“Eddie, that’s the sort of thing you don’t say to a girl,” you say, hands shaking hard as you ruffle through the duffle bag at your side. Your knees burn like they’re on fire, your arms raked with claw marks, but Eddie’s been minced. If you hadn’t climbed your way back to him with the makeshift flamethrower at his feet, Eddie would probably be dead. Scorched demobat is a gross smell. 
“What are you so scared of? It’s like, running down your cheek,” he says. 
“Shut up,” you say, glancing back, hoping Dustin will be right behind you. You hadn’t stopped to make sure he was alright. What if he’s hurt too? “Seriously, just don’t talk. You’re gonna bleed to death and die and your last words are gonna be about how sweaty I am.” 
You peel back a soaked square of gauze from his waist and smash a clean one overtop to soak up the pooling blood. Eddie gasps in agony, writhing away from your touch, but to his credit, his voice is strong as he says, “Shit, true. I can make them better. How about, um… oh. You’re smoking. Like, seriously gorgeous. That better?” 
Your eyes sting as you turn your face to your shoulder, cupping his cheek, his blood wet on your fingers and staining his skin red. “How would you know? It’s dark out.” 
“I’ve seen your face in the light hundreds of times. I know what I’m talking about.” 
He would’ve been turned to mulch without your rescuing. There are split cuts all over him, it’s awful, and you won’t be able to fix him yourself here, but you don’t have to. You just need to stop his bleeding and help him deal with the pain until Dustin makes it through. The two of you can drag him to safety. 
Maybe the best way to do that is to let him tease you. “You really think I’m pretty?” you ask, pressing another piece of gauze over this second one, wincing when he lets out a pained gasp. 
“Are you kidding?” 
“I thought you liked, you know, the really pretty girls, like–”
“You are a really pretty girl, are you kidding? Don’t fish for compliments.” 
You shake your head, laughing, half-terrified. The blood isn’t slowing. “Eddie, I have to press down harder, okay? I’m sorry.” 
“Just do it,” he says. You dig the heel of your palm into his side. “Fuck!” 
“You’re really not gonna like this next part,” you warn, pushing his legs flat to the floor. 
You climb over his thighs and sit on his lap, hand twisted to cover his wound and the other peeling the paper covering off of another sterile square of gauze. Eddie swears like a sailor as you squeeze down, the majority of your upper weight being pressed to his open wounds. It would be an uncomfortable sensation without the cuts. You know it’s torture. 
“Oh, god,” he says, “I think I’m gonna be sick.” 
“That’s a great reaction,” you say, lifting the edge of the leftmost gauze. The blood pools but doesn’t gush down his side. You sigh in relief. “Oh, thank god.” 
“Maybe don’t say stuff like that sitting on my crotch.” 
“Are you for real?” You meet his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks. “You’re really thinking about your dick right now?” 
“Of course not, I’m a gentleman, but you’re kind of on top of me and it’s been a really hard week.” 
You burst out laughing. He gags in pain and turns away. 
The cavalry arrives not long after that, though it feels like hours. Together, somehow, you drag Eddie back to the gate, and things get a little blurry after that. 
You’ve never been so tired in your life as you are right now, but you’re so relieved that the world has taken on a golden quality, and Eddie looks golden too. 
His hair is wet. You think Wayne might’ve washed it for him over the bath; it’s been greasy for a week while his stitches started to heal up, and he spent it in Steve’s bed. The only good thing about having absent parents apparently is being able to harbour a fugitive without being noticed, and anybody else who couldn’t go home without explaining their injuries. 
“You okay?” Eddie asks. 
“Mm.” You scrunch up into yourself on the couch, cradling your arm where it aches to your chest. 
“You’ve been sleeping all day. Figured I’d make sure you weren’t in a coma.” You think about poor Max. He must see your wavering expression, sitting on the couch by your legs with an apologetic smile. “She’s doing even better today. Sinclair thinks she was squeezing his finger, so that’s something.” 
“Can’t believe all that stuff really happened,” you mumble, the blanket pulled over your chin muffling your voice. It’s a wonder he can hear you. 
“Feels fake, right? I keep forgetting about it when I wake up, and then I have to stand and feel my stomach try to split open and remember I was bat chow.” He nods to your arm. “Still hurting?” 
It’s nothing compared to his. Your cuts didn’t need stitching, but the were deep still. You’ve only had the butterfly bandages taken off yesterday. The skin aches where the scar tissue is forming. “Sort of itchy,” you say.
“Yeah?” He pulls a little white tube from his pyjama pants hesitantly. “Maybe I can help?” 
“What’s that?” 
“Non disclosed ointment. Pretty sure it’s the good stuff from Mike’s girl’s government friends.” 
They’re gonna clear Eddie’s name, apparently. So far they’ve done a whole lot of nothing while Hawkins falls apart around you. Well, besides the drugs. They’ve given out plenty of painkillers. 
Eddie shuffles closer to you and takes your arm into his hand. “Her name is Eleven,” you say. 
“I know.” He pushes your sleeve up over the bump of your elbow to expose the worst of your scarring. 
You think he’s aware of what you did that day to save him. He’s been achingly nice to you since he woke up. Even when he couldn’t walk, he’d been shouting down the stairs from Steve’s room to check if you were alright on the couch. Usually met with a chorus of Shut the fuck ups, it had been sweet, if a little embarrassing to have to call back. I’m okay. Thanks! 
“I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” he says. 
You watch him uncap the ointment and squeeze a ball of it onto his finger. It’s semi-translucent, smelling of arnica with a bit of kick to it. He turns your wrist gently in one hand and begins to trace the lines of your scars one by one, as gentle as anyone’s ever touched you, his pinky finger suspended and shaky as he draws toward the crook of your elbow.
“Well, don’t leave me waiting,” you say eventually. 
“Right, just. I’m trying to be braver. It’s not working in my favour yet.” 
You laugh. “No, really?” 
“But you saved my life. Everybody knows it. You and Henderson saved me, and I can’t make it up to you. This,” —he smooths ointment over the ridge of your cruellest scar— “is permanent. And scaring you like that, I mean. I shouldn’t have gone back in, and I should have kept running, it was selfish, trying to do a good thing and…” He holds your arm in his hands and meets your eyes. You don’t see a trace of the shrill, loud boy you’d spent the last two weeks with. “Getting you hurt.” 
“I got hurt trying to save the world,” you say. “‘Cos, you know, not everything’s about you…” 
His smile is slow as molasses and doubly sweet as he wraps his arm behind your shoulders. He’s careful, you’re both fragile right now, but he squeezes you and laughs warmly against your ear and he’s back to the Eddie you remember. “Everything is about me. It’s totally about me, babe, and you’re just jealous.”
He rubs your back. 
“You know,” he adds, hand trialling lazily to the small of your back, where it stays, “I wouldn’t be here without you. So if you need anything, just let me know.” 
“Yeah, okay.” 
“Yeah?” he asks, pulling back. He kisses your cheek as he does, his hands falling on top of yours. “Alright. You’re still smoking hot, you know that? The scars are sick. You’re cool now.” 
Your fingers twitch against his palm. “Thanks, Eddie.” 
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gemissleeping · 3 months
Text
Angel of Small Death
Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader
Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader
Summary: It’s Seventh Year and you’re one of the ones who stayed. Reeling from the loss of your family in the midst of the war, you find a twisted sense of comfort in Mattheo. But your best friend Theo can’t help but feel you’re slipping away from him in more ways than one.
Length: 1.8k
Warnings: Mature. Smut. Angst as with everything I write, not sorry. Deals with addiction to substances. Please dni if this subject is triggering to you. If you need help or resources please dm me. Second instalment from the amazing Hogmarch Challenge by @thatdammchickennugget will have a part two!
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Everyone knew that Slytherin threw the best parties. Hufflepuff was a close second, sure. But nothing quite matched the opulence of a bunch of rich kids throwing their parents money around like it was pennies. Which was why half of Hogwarts was currently packed into the Common Room as water-stained lights rolled across the dance floor.
You wove your way into the gathered students, everyone’s bodies slick with sweat through the haze. You were drunk, but so was everyone. Maybe a little high too, these things couldn’t be helped. Mattheo was oddly generous when you got him rolling. It was exactly what you needed; something that made you feel like a foolish child again. You’d been dancing for the past hour, but now your buzz had reduced itself to a gentle hum. Which meant it was time to find Matt again; sweet talk him into giving you just a little more.
Already familiar with the path, you strayed through the crowd. Handing out distant smiles to some of the other students from your year as you floated past them. Utterly devoid of anything but firewhiskey, sweat, and whatever Mattheo had given you, the bass rattling through the Common Room.
“Back again, Darling?” Mattheo grinned absently as you neared. Sunken into the couch, blown out eyes lilted with thinly-veiled guilt.
It wasn’t his fault, what had happened. You told him so almost every evening, when the two of you would meet to smoke up in the Astronomy Tower. His eyes always heavy with those same questions of whether you blamed him for the actions of his Father. But it didn’t matter how many times you told him it wasn’t his fault, because you knew he didn’t believe it. Besides, it would be a lie if you pretended that you didn’t think of it all every time you met his eyes in a room. It hung between you, always.
Enzo watched you trail over, sinking into the velvet beside Matt. Twirling the stem of his wine glass between his fingers as he glanced nervously to his left. Theo was sat there, his eyes having latched onto you long before you’d exited the crowd and made your way over to the group. But you hadn’t looked at him once, you barely took anything in these days. He could’ve stood before you and you’d have looked right past him.
Distance. It was what made Enzo shuffle uncomfortably in his seat beside Theo now. Swinging his leg over his knee, covering his mouth with a falsely casual hand. Watching the tall, glowering boy beside him.
Theo was still watching you when you leant into Matt’s shoulder. Eyelashes fluttering as your eyes glazed over. Matt resting his head atop yours with equal heaviness. The two of you whispering lazily to one another.
Sometimes your lips would tug into a smile at something he said, but your eyes were never able to catch up in time. The sight made Theo want to shatter the glass he was holding, let it tear at the skin of his hands. Give him a reason to feel this way, as though he were truly bleeding out. His feelings staining his shirt, the carpet.
At least when it came to Matt, he seemed to have some level of restraint. Reserving the substances the two of you shared for weekends, evenings. But Theo had become increasingly aware of how far away you were now becoming, even during the days. Whether it was Matt’s guilt that allowed him to fuel your addictions, he wasn’t certain. All Theo knew was that everything about you had changed, and a part of him wanted to kill Matt for having any role in it at all.
You’d have come to him once. Sat atop his bed and talked for hours. Hands resting beside one another’s but never quite touching. But these days you didn’t seem in much of a mood for thinking, let alone talking. The only thing you were interested in was getting far away from everyone, save for Matt. The two of you were joint at the hip. And although he hated to admit it; Theo knew that he should’ve been more concerned with other things, but that was what hurt him the most.
You were his childhood friend, the one he had swapped sandwiches with. Who he had followed up trees and chased across beaches. Sat through countless invisible tea parties beside. Who he had always, unconditionally, loved. And it had all been forgotten. Traded for nights of stuffing your nose with powder and drowning your insides in liquor.
He didn’t want to even begin to think about whether what you and Matt now shared was strictly amiable. Though he had his suspicions. And every time Enzo looked over at him with resounding pity, Theo got the aching feeling that those inclinations were right.
He tried to tune in to the debate Blaise, Draco & Pansy were having about who could do the best impression of Harry’s parseltongue. The trio bursting into laughter as Pansy hissed in gibberish. But Theo’s ruse didn’t last long. Everyone’s breath going still as Matt stood from the couches, offering his hand out to you. The pair of you slinking through the crowd without so much as a goodbye.
The others awkwardly turned back to their conversations as you disappeared. Although it was clear everyone was feeling the burden, as though they were all walking atop cracked glass. Enzo let out a sigh as he lost sight of Matt’s curly hair up the dormitory stairs. Tired eyes slinking to Theo, who was stuck on the doorway where you and Matt had vanished.
Enzo twirled the stem of his wine glass again before placing it aside, put off. Noticing the way Theo’s fist clenched at the couch’s edge. It didn’t take long for him to make an excuse. Enzo’s eyes trailing after Theo as he made little attempt to hide his path towards where you had disappeared.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
Matt’s hands trailed the skin beneath the ribbons of fabric covering you. Greedy for more as he sat you atop his desk. Standing before you as he guided your knees apart gently. Eyes not vaguely tempted by your body, focused solely on taking you in; the way your lips parted as his fingertips trailed the inside of your thighs. Testing their limits as they trailed further, higher. As he threaded himself between your legs, pulling you flush against him. Tearing a gasp from both of you as your pretty little eyelashes fluttered. Head falling back as his other hand snaked up the back of your neck to guide his lips to yours once again.
He pushed against you softly, keeping the kiss delicate, careful. His hand trailing down from your neck to the underside of your jaw. The other circling the skin of your waist in intricate patterns. Holding you as though he feared you’d crack. You shuddered into his kiss, lips working against his softly. The antithesis to the fever that was sure to hit you both in a few minutes.
He pulled away an inch as you shook against him, rolling his hips lazily into yours. Satisfied when you let out another breathy gasp at the movement. He loved watching you like this, it seemed to mend something in him. As though if he brought you enough pleasure, it would somehow make up for all of the pain. Matt brought his forehead down to yours, absentmindedly swiping his thumb beneath your nose. Cleansing your skin of the white powder that sullied it.
“I just want to make you feel good again,” Matt breathed, ghosting his lips against yours in a broken whisper, “please say that I do.”
Your eyes blinked open, seeming to clear a little at his words, the rawness in his voice. You looked to the boy before you, saw yourself in the weight of his brow, the heavy set of his jaw. Saw the bruises of fear he carried.
“Matt,” you whispered, fingertips flying to soothe his skin. Draw him back into you and out of his head. “You make me feel better than anything.”
The words had barely left your lips before he crashed himself against you. Commanding fingers grasping at your jaw to make you as accessible to him as possible. Tilting your head back and sucking at your bottom lip with his teeth. His hips rolling against yours with calculated speed. Pressing himself flush against you as your skirt hiked up.
The sensation made you squirm, just as he knew it would. The hand he had situated on your hip clamping down firmly as he drew you back towards him. Leaving you no room to get away. Relishing in the way you lost all composure as he pressed himself against you again and again. It didn’t take long for him to make quick work of your underwear, or for your hands to find the buckle of his belt.
You were soaked by the time he pushed himself into you. Holding you tight to him as you cried out into his mouth. His hands already gently threaded into your hair with familiarity. Keeping you from falling back into the wall as he began to thrust into you. The gentle roll of his hips escalating as the powder hit your systems. His movements growing rougher as his control unravelled.
You buried yourself in his shoulder as he pushed himself deeper, the sensations becoming too much as you felt yourself losing your grip. His lips lazing against your cheek, trailing the skin with each thrust.
“You’re so good to me,” he breathed harshly into your ear, drawing you closer to the edge of the desk as he drew himself into you again and again. His hand tangled in your hair gently, comforting you as you reached your high with blistering intensity. “I’m sorry,” the words left him in a strained whisper as he continued his pace, offering you little relief as you felt yourself building up again.
But you knew his apology had nothing to do with his pace, the rough snap of his hips against yours. They only ever came when you were together in this way; completely at the mercy of the other. It was the only time he could let his guilt spill into you and know you would answer him truthfully. Your head too empty, body too spent to lie.
“I know,” you choked the words out as you shook again, your hands tangling in his hair as you felt him stuttering against you, “me too.”
Theodore shut the door quietly with a click, letting his back rest against it as he faced the empty corridor outside the dorm. A tightly wound breath leaving his chest in a huff as his bleak gaze permeated the wall in front of him. The sound of your heavy breath and moans barely audible beneath the door.
Theo sat, eyes drawn shut as he tried to wipe the image of you intertwined with his friend from his mind. Feeling flustered for having caught you both in such an intimate moment, and guilty that he wished it was him.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝
Masterlist here
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spacedace · 3 months
Text
Got inspired by the below tiktok and the idea of the Rogues killing the Joker in revenge for Jason instead of Bruce and had to write about it.
Here, have probably way too many words (with more to come most likely, this really won't leave me alone) of the Rogue's feelings about Jason's death at the Joker's hands and everything that followed.
(also I know the timeline is a bit screwy, shhh just go with it, we're going on vibes with this one lol)
-
Childhood was not held universally sacred in the dark streets of Gotham.
The city was hard and cruel and she didn’t care about the ages of those that were ground up and spit out in her oily black heart.
A kid could slit your throat as easy as a man grown in a place like their fine city, maybe easier even for those who still fell for the ideal of children being incapable of anything but innocence and sweetness. Children learned from the world around them though, they learned from the savagery that filled their world, the hard scrabble desperate attempts to survive. They learned what dark corners to avoid, which ones were safer to skitter down.
It didn’t mean there weren’t still some rules of decency to be honored though.
Most folks, even those in the circle of the Rogues, largely left kids out of the equation. Crossfire happened of course, hitting busy city centers always meant some kind of collateral. But there wasn’t much that they got out of purposefully hurting kids outside a black mark on their name in most levels of the grungy underbelly of the city and one hell of a big target on their back. Both from the Bat and those criminals in the dark with them that took offense to those kinds of things. They were crooks, but with few exceptions they weren’t complete monsters.
Robin had always held an interesting place in their grungy little ecosystem. Anything to do with the Bat was generally ruled as gloves-off, do what you do without hesitation. And Robin - both of ‘em - had no problem hitting hard and being ruthless. The first one in particular had a feral sort of rage to him that was a terrifying thing to be on the business end of.
But they were still kids.
Defending yourself from any kid swinging on you was fair game, a person had the right to defend themselves. Grabbing up Robin to hold hostage or bait Gotham’s local cryptid, that was all fine and dandy. You could even get away with roughing the kid up a little here and there, so long as you made sure not to go too far and always kept hits to where the kid’s armor was the thickest. No hard and fast written rules, mind, but general rules of thumbs. Lines indistinct due to the shaky ground a child dancing through the night as a vigilante left all of them on, but ones clear enough that you knew when you were at risk of going too far.
Besides, the Robins were good kids. Fucking feral little shits, of course, able to leave you bleeding just as easy from a kick as they were a sharp word. But good kids. Even most the Rogues in the Gallery liked em. It was hard not to be at least a little fond of a gutsy little punk like that.
Though they were all maybe a tad less nervous around Robin II than they were the original.
Robin I had a lot of anger burning in him, a lot of anger in him, but he was still a cheerful boy with a bright attitude that was refreshing in a world so bleak and dark as the one they all lived in. It was up in the air which was scarier about the kid: The smiled he gave when he was about to give a hands on demonstration about how much force a tiny ten year old could put into a kick when they had half a dozen spins shoved into a flip to wind up to 80 miles an hour, or the flash of his teeth when he was demonstrating the knife sharp brilliance of his belief that Batman was only as frightening as Robin was hopeful.
They weren’t sure if he realized that sometimes they felt a helluva lot more hope at the sight of the Bat when the little bird was putting the hurt on them, or if he’d simply folded that fact neatly into his core philosophy without issue.
Robin II on the other hand had this kind of quiet shyness to him - even as he was shouting the most inventive swears ever heard by human ear at someone while he kicked them in the balls hard enough to make ‘em see not just the face of their own god but a few dozen besides. He was just as unhinged as the Robin before him - seemed to be a requirement for the job really - but there was a distinct different in how the two birds flitted about the darkened skyline of the city. Where the first Robin’s smile was as much danger as it was dazzle, a fanged declaration of victory against the dark, Robin II’s was a sunny, stubborn declaration of perseverance. Kid was sassy and smart, and never - ever - flinched away from extending a hand to those he thought in need of it.
Even if the folks he offered that hand to were in the middle of an attack on some fancy Gala or Wayne Enterprises or whatever target of the week it was. Even knowing the offered hand was likely to be slapped away and followed by a right hook. Kid still always tried.
They all knew why.
The Bat was big on offering chances, on rehabilitation rather than damnation. Some of Robin II being the way he was came from the broody cryptid he followed around. But Batman couldn’t claim to be the sole reason for Robin II being the way he was, couldn’t even pretend to be the cause of most of it. Nah, they knew why the little bird was the way he was.
That unmistakable thick accent. That frame that was always a little too thin even as he got older and stronger. That unshakable, headstrong spirit.
Robin II was an Alley Kid.
A true child of Gotham.
Her polluted waters in his veins. Her smoggy air in his lungs. Her shadows clinging to his edges less like a beast looking to swallow a small bird up and more like a protective mother hiding her hatchling. He understood the world most of them came from. The one they all lived in. Knew it in a way anyone who hadn’t been swallowed up by the dark never really could.
Everyone had their favorite, but even those that claimed the first Robin as theirs couldn’t deny that Robin II was someone to be respected. Nor could they deny a fondness for the chain smoking, classic lit referencing, perpetually baby-faced little shit. They’d all had knock out drag out fights with the kid and knew how fucking unhinged the puny motherfucker could be in a fight, but he always tempered it with offers of resources, of a listening ear, of understanding.
He visited them after they’d been arrested sometimes. In Arkham, or Blackgate or wherever else they’d been locked up in after being stopped by the Dynamic Duo. The little bird would make the rounds whenever he had a broken wing or was stuck waiting as the Bat interrogated someone else or for any other reason he wasn’t out flitting about the city skyline at night. He’d bring cookies or snacks and even cigarettes from his own secret stash on the rare occasion, mask unable to hide the furtive glances around to check for the living shadow that was the disapproving Bat.
The Rogues and their Goons always had a soft spot for the Robins. And Robin II made it especially easy to let fondness bleed out of them from time to time. He was a good kid.
But childhood was not held universally sacred in the dark streets of Gotham.
Bad things happened to good kids all the time.
And some of the monsters that lurked in the city’s darkest shadows took the black mark of a kid killer as a point of pride.
Robin II disappeared one day. Just after that piece of shit Garzonas took the fast way down from the top of a tall building. There were a lot of Rogues with doctoral degrees to their names but even those Goons that dropped out of school before they learned to spell their own names could do that math.
The big bad Bat had benched the boy after the fierce little bird had done what any decent member of the criminal underbelly would have. There were those that thought maybe it’d been an accident, that the kid was pulled off duty because of being too upset at unintentionally crossing the heavy line the Bat drew in the sand. Those voices were drowned out pretty quick though.
Sure, Robin II was all about second chances, of doing better, of redemption. But Garzonas had chances to spare and only ever spat in the face of those offering them. Doubled down on being a monster in a way very, very few of the Rogues Gallery would. The kid was a sweetheart, but he wasn’t no push over and there were some things so heinous that there was only one way of handling them. Crime Alley had its own kind of justice system, and when faced with a monster that was beyond even Batman’s jurisdiction, Robin II did what he always did: fell back on his roots.
Or so the rumors said, at least.
That was the thing about Gotham’s seedy underbelly. It was a grimy, wretched nest of vipers and cut-throats, but it was also worse than any beauty parlor when it came to gossip. No one actually knew anything other than that piece of shit motherfucker took a dive while Robin was chasing him and that he’d not been seen on the streets since. But most had a fondness for the kid, and a distaste for the kind of cruelty Garzonas reveled in and there was no proof that Robin hadn’t gone and done the world a favor by drop kicking that barbaric sack of shit off a roof. So as far as most in the Gallery were concerned, the little bird had stepped up and been a hero.
Time passed. Not a lot. But enough. The Bat disappeared too, popping up on an entire other continent in a way that was awfully tempting. Even with other Masks playing baby sitter while the local cryptid was away. Rogues were scrambling to set plans in motion, Goons getting hired en masse, weapons and weird chemicals getting delivered to shady places across Gotham by the truck-full. The criminal underbelly was abuzz with the same excited energy of children the day before a big birthday party.
And then the news came in.
There were people in the dark who made their living finding things out. Knowing things that no one else did or could. Some even specialized, keeping tabs on Batman and Robin better than anyone else in the business were able. And when the information they found wasn’t anything handy to have tucked into a back pocket or a secret they were paid extremely well to keep? They held on to with the same tenacity a sieve clung to water.
Robin II had run off across the globe and ended up in Ethiopia. Something to do with a doctor doing aid work, the same something that had the Bat end up there was the assumption. Kid ran off to handle things himself or was sent on a separate path on purpose for some plan or other the Bat had cooked up on his hunt.
Whatever the reason, the kid crossed paths with the Clown.
Alone.
Childhood was not held universally sacred in the dark streets of Gotham. The city was hard and cruel and she didn’t care about the ages of those that were ground up and spit out in her oily black heart. But Robin II was hers, the child of her heart, an exception to the rule. And besides, most folks - even those in the Rogues Gallery - largely left the purposeful harm of kids out of the equation.
The Joker wasn’t most folks.
And the little bird was a long way away from the protective shadows of his mother city.
The Rogues and their Goons always had a soft spot for the Robins. And Robin II made it especially easy to let fondness bleed out of them from time to time. He was a good kid.
When the news broke, it broke most of them right along with it.
Plans stalled. Schemes ended. Gotham, for an unnervingly quiet stretch of time that neither its civilians or the world at large understood, went still. Crime continued, of course, but the big names weren’t seen. It was only right, by the standards of those that lived their lives in the dark, that they hold off and give the man that fought them all so relentlessly over the past years the time he needed to focus on hunting down the monster that killed his son. He didn’t need the distraction, and they all owed it to Robin II not to interfere while the Bat at last put a final end to the Clown.
And the hellish cryptid would need his full focus on this one. The Joker wasn’t one to take lightly at the best of times, but he’d set himself up neatly in the middle of a nasty bear trap. Ugly and complicated in the way everything with the Clown was. Interference from the CIA, from the UN, from Superman.
Shit went down. People heard about the Bat and the Clown throwing down in a helicopter plummeting from the sky in one hell of a water landing. Big Blue fished Batman out of the drink before he could drown but there’d been no sign of the Joker.
But the Bat would find him.
They all knew the relentless bastard would find him. It was just a matter of time. With the hellish drive of a demon straight from Gotham’s darkest shadows, the Bat would track the grinning, child killing ghoul down and make right the terrible wrong the evil motherfucker had done. Batman would hunt him to the ends of the earth and enact the justice he held up so fiercely. Robin II would have the vengeance the kid so rightly deserved.
It was just a matter of time. So they waited. And waited.
Days.
Weeks.
Months.
The Clown still lived.
The world, impossibly, began to move on. The Bat returned to his lurking in the night, picking off gangs and petty crooks and no-name gangsters as if nothing had happened at all. More vicious, more savage, but failing to turn that rise in brutality into the killing blow against the one figure that so rightly deserved it.
No one knew what was happening. There were rumors and theories, as there always were in the underground. Some thought that it wasn’t the Bat at all back in Gotham but someone else pretending for awhile, looking after his neglected city while he continued his pursuit of the Joker. Other held that it was the Bat but the whole thing was a ploy to draw the Clown out into the open. A pretense at not caring meant to get under the Clown’s skin, make the asshole mad enough to get stupid and sloppy and reveal himself.
That the man simply had given up was beyond comprehension. Beyond what any upstanding Rogue could accept. So it simply couldn’t be true. There was a trick being played. Some brilliant game of 4D chess that none of them had been able to parse out. It’d be revealed in time, and they see the brilliant trap that had been set. The Clown would be lured out, the Bat would put him down for good, and then they’d all at last raise a glass to the little bird that had been shot down far too soon and smoke shitty cigarettes and quote literary masters and mourn the loss one of Gotham’s own true children.
They just had to play along. Stumbling forward back into their usual habits, pretending that it was a choice and not the world just forcibly dragging them along. It’d make sense, eventually. The Bat had a plan. Robin II wasn’t forgotten, his killer not left free to roam and ravage unpunished for what he’d done.
And then one day there was a new bird flitting across the rooftops.
Chasing the Bat’s looming frame like a reverse shadow. Bright flashes of color in contrast to the bleak darkness of Gotham’s grimy nights. Small and thin and young.
Not the first Robin. With his showman bright grin and bloody rage and unwavering belief in the terrifying power of hope. Not the brilliant, vicious little boy that they’d seen grow over the years into the fierce and fearless Nightwing.
Not Robin II either.
Not Gotham’s soft hearted little bruiser with his unshakable belief that people could be better if given the chance, shinning so bright in the dark as he held out a hand that even the Rogues had no choice but to believe right along with him sometimes. Not the tough little songbird they’d never get to see grow up. Unavenged and unhonored. Put in a box and buried in the ground with a name none of them would ever know carved into a stone they’d never be able to visit.
No.
It was a new Robin.
A new child with the R emblazoned upon his chest.
Sharp and quick and young in the way the birds always were when they started flying at the Bat’s side. Every inch of the boy’s tiny frame a tragedy and an insult. One very, very few of Gotham’s vicious underbelly were willing to tolerate.
Childhood was not held universally sacred in the dark streets of Gotham, but there was a damn big difference between holding something sacred and not giving a damn about it at all. There were rules unspoken but understood, a way things were done. Nothing so solid or concrete as a code of conduct, more a collection of time honored traditions. Blood for blood was among the oldest and truest, and the more precious the person taken the more vital and vicious payment was to be made in kind.
The Clown had killed Robin II.
Beaten the kid half to death and then finished the job with a bomb.
Everyone knew he’d done it laughing all the way.
The Bat should have done the same in kind. Done worse. It was justice, it was what was right. You kill a kid you’re marked forever. You kill one so well liked and kill ‘em like that and you’re destined for a cruel and cold death. The Bat had first dibs. It was his kid. It was his right to put an end to that awful laughter and let his son have peace at last.
But he never did.
Nightwing had. For a bit. For a moment.
Robin I, who half the time had scared them all more than the Bat ever could. Dazzling and dizzying and dangerous. Gave back the pain and hurt the Clown had forced upon him with clenched fists and bone shattering hits. They were glad for him, that he was able to beat the monster who had taken his little brother from him to death, that he was able to have such justice.
And then the Bat stepped in.
Revived the fucking Clown.
A slap in the face. The snapping crack of a spine beneath one straw too many. The final, unforgivable insult the man had dared visit upon not just the child taken from him but the entirety of Gotham.
The Rogues and their Goons always had a soft spot for the Robins. Respected their ferocity, admired their moxie, marveled at their ability to keep shining in the dark like they did. Robin II made it especially easy to let fondness bleed out of the city’s dirty criminal underbelly from time to time.
He was a good kid.
He deserved better.
Better than the silence and peace he should be granted in death to be marred by the mad cackles of his killer still running around alive and unpunished. Better than his father giving up, returning to the same old routine as if nothing had happened at all. Better than the Bat snatching up a new bird less than a year later.
Gotham and her Rogues had given the Bat time enough to do what needed to be done.
It was their turn.
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nsharks · 6 months
Text
bleeding blue | apocalypse au
part fifteen —other parts
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pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader words: 3.7k tags: death. blood. cannibalism mention. zombies of course. AFAB reader. single dad ghost. there will be sex but it isn't here yet. slow burn!!! enemies to lovers. summary: After losing your companions, you run into a skull-masked man and his daughter. They are your last hope for survival.
Pearly sunlight weaves through the trees, casting freckles across the calm current of the creak. Somewhere, a raven bleats loudly, but your ears block out the sound. The skin between your brows wrinkles with concentration as you tightly grip the wooden makeshift spear, its carved point hovering just above the water.
Numerous fish writhe below you, and your eyes dart between them studiously before finally settling on the meatiest one. With a quick stab, your spear pierces the water's surface, but all it hits is the mucky bottom of the creak. The fish startles with a splash and swims off downstream. 
"Fuck me," you huff, standing up from your squatting position on the rock to soothe the growing ache in your thighs.
Fishing shouldn't be much different than hunting, yet, it's been hours and all you have to show for it is a small chub the size of your palm. With a sigh, you decide your craving for fish isn't worth all this effort and leap off the rock, carrying your measly catch in one hand and spear in the other. Maybe the still waters of the pond could be an easier spot to try someday.
You chose the creak over the pond because it's a greater distance from camp. The longer walk allows you to fixate on the emerald green leaves fluttering in the breeze and the soft chatter of swallows that are returning after their winter migration. Everything is starting to turn into Blue's favorite color. For the first time, you departed the cabin without a jacket, opting for only the long-sleeve tee from Ghost. You had the sleeves rolled to your elbows while fishing, but as you trek back through the wild grasses, you push them down and allow the fabric to brush your knuckles. 
There are hardly any flowers left on the Pink Sorrel after all your foraging. It's a shame they taste so good because the petals are a beautiful fuschia. Arriving at camp, you amble over the plucked stems, bound across the trench with ease, and spot Blue on the other side of the gate offering Grim a wad of grass.
The moment you returned yesterday, she had asked how training with Ghost went. That was quick, she'd observed. Weasling past the rules of your friendship, you gave her a half-lie: He went easy on me this first time. She didn't seem fully convinced that Ghost and 'going easy' belonged in the same sentence together.
"Hey," you greet. "Open the gate for me?"
Grim is given a pet across his back before she leaps up to undo the locks. 
“Hey. How’d it go?” She looks at your near-empty hand. "Fucking noodles. That's it? I thought there were lots of fish there."
"There are. I just suck at catching them."
She gives you an apologetic smile. "Oh— Ghost was looking for you, by the way."
It takes you a moment to respond. "He was?"
"Not sure what for." Her brows furrow. "I'm also not sure where he went. He was here, and then—" Her blue eyes glimmer like water in the sunlight as they shift to something in the distance. "Oh, there he is."
The very person you'd spent hours of alone time trying not to think about arrives as a shadow, lugging what appears to be—you squint—a fucking corpse behind him. Upon closer inspection, it is certainly a body, and with how wonky the limbs look as they drag against the ground, it must be a Grey. That's a little more reassuring, and a lot less bothersome, than if it were a human corpse. 
He drops the corpse in front of the trench, rubs his gloved hands together, and then passes through the parted gate. 
"Is that what you wanted Twix for?" Blue asks, nodding to the Grey.
Ghost explains himself in an even more gruff baritone than usual. "Knew I smelled something." He speaks at you. "I wanted you to check south while I checked north."
"Oh. Sorry," you say lamely and hold up the small chub. "I was, uh, fishing. Looks like you found the source, though. Just one?"
He nods. "Only found one. Could be others so we'll keep an eye out."
"Why did you bring it here?" you ask curiously. 
Blue is the one to answer. "To burn it. Sometimes it seems like they attract each other, haven't you noticed?"
"Right," you grimace. "Blood and rot. Their favorites."
Setting down the catch and spear, you help Ghost gather some wood from the modest pyramid stacked beside the cabin. He nudges the Grey with a booted foot, making it tumble limply into the trench. Starting the fire in there should keep the flames contained.
As you silently place the wood and some kindling over the carcass, your mind is in two places at once. With Ghost right next to you, it's impossible to not think about yesterday; how it felt to be grabbed by him, how he questioned you again about the ammo trip, and how you can't help but detest the thought of him looking at you in pity like he once he did. 
You also think about how much you fucking hate Greys. Christ, they are disgusting. Your fingers accidentally brush against the paper-thin skin that hangs off the bones and a shudder travels up your spine.
Ghost starts the fire with a match and the two of you watch the flames catch, quietly at first— then, they roar through the corpse, quickly turning it black. Bitter smoke intermingles with the crisp spring air and the smell has you coughing into your arm.
Blue has taken it upon herself to avoid the fire, making an audible gagging sound before scooping up Grim. In her absence, you shift from foot to foot, stealing a glance at Ghost. He watches the ash build up and the flames tamper down in mild interest. 
Your fingers curl up into balls, fisting the excess fabric. "Are you worried about more?" you ask him.
It's the first thing you've said to him - actually said to him - since cutting your training short. He loosens a breath and slightly shrugs his broad shoulders. "No. I told you. We never see more than a few at a time." You weren't worried, but if you were, his dismissal of the subject would reassure you. "You should be careful until I finish your bow, though. Unless you're good at throwing knives."
"I'm not," you almost snort, voice no louder than it needs to be. "But Blue is quite good at it. She's been killing squirrels for me."
He hums his response, a low sound that gets lost in the crackle of embers, and you wonder if that's him showing a lack of interest in this kind of conversation with you. With a deep inhale, you change the subject to one you can't ignore.
"Ghost— I want to apologize," you turn to face him, straightening your shoulders. "I wasted your time yesterday. It won't happen again. If we could... give it another try, I would like that."
The smoke is starting to fade. Ghost breaks his gaze from it to study you. You try not to shrink away, wondering what he's thinking. If he feels pity, it's impossible to detect in the dark irises set behind his mask, though, you've never been able to find much of anything in them. 
"You didn't waste my time, Twix. I have an interest in your capabilities." 
"What?" 
"If you're going to be staying here," he elaborates, "—then your strength is of value to me. I'd like to know that if I ask you to do something, you can do it. That if shit happens again, I can rely on you."
"You can," you breathe out. "I am... capable."
"You are," he agrees, looking away. "You're good with a bow. You think quick. But you're still weak, and you doubt yourself." The blunt comments make your brows lower, but you can't help but feel satisfied with the glimpses of approval. "Yesterday was my fault. You weren't ready for it and I should've known that."
"I am ready," you protest, lips parting as you shake your head. "Let me try again. I don't want to be coddled."
"I'm not going to coddle you," he replies in a firm drawl. "I want you stronger first. Let's start there."
“Okay.”
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A hand.
There's a hand on your shoulder, heavy and firm, offering a slight shake. With a gasp, your eyes fly open to darkness, only the white of a skull visible above you, illuminated by a sliver of moonlight. 
"What the hell?" are the first words you sputter, voice harsh and raw from sleep. You grip your throat to clear it. 
He scans your face. "Get up. Come on."
"What? What... what fucking time is it?"
"Almost dawn. Let's go."
It takes a few deep breaths to calm the rush of adrenaline ignited by his abrupt wake-up call. Go where? you think to ask, but instead, you slick a hand through your hair, warily rubbing your eyes to adjust to the lack of light.
Somehow you end up outside, wading through the sprawled-out fog as you follow behind his silhouette, the morning so early and quiet that it would've felt like a dream if not for your crunching footsteps. You braid your into a single, tight braid along the way. With such shitty sleep, you're too out of it to even scowl at his backside, wondering how getting up at this hour will in any way make you stronger. 
The answer is in the two axes he carries and the towering oak tree he stops in front of, your eyes climbing up the height of it before landing back down on Ghost. Your hands are forced out of your coat pockets when an axe is offered to you, fingers curling around the handle and abs tightening from the surprising weight of it.
Confusion rolls around in your gut. Slowly, you ask, "Um. You... want me to cut this thing down?"
"We need more wood after yesterday." He inclines his head and gives a tap of his own axe to the thick trunk. "Good size for you to start with."
"It's huge," you mutter under your breath. "Why do we have to do this so early?"
If there's any reasoning to it at all, he doesn't bother sharing. Rather, he stalks over to another tree about ten meters away. The calm air is soon shattered by the rough sound of metal biting wood as he starts effortlessly cutting the trunk. A large part of you considers dropping the axe and leaving without a word, but you ignore it.
"Alright then," you whisper to yourself. 
It's not the first time you've chopped down a tree. You used to help Paul with it, and truthfully, you're surprised Ghost has never asked you to do chores like this sooner. It's certainly bigger than the skinny, young trees you used to go for, evident in how little of a dent you make with the first swing.
Either you're as weak as Ghost claims, or this axe of his is heavier than the one Paul had because your biceps feel strained by the third hit.
"Have you never done this before?"
The voice at your back nearly makes you drop the axe. Whirling around, you face the colossal presence of him and wonder how you didn't notice it sooner.
"I have." You rest the thick blade on the ground, grumbling. "Do you have a thing for sneaking up on people?"
"Be more aware of your surroundings." His tone teeters towards admonishing, and he looks you over before ticking up a brow. "And fix your stance before you throw your bloody back out."
He nudges the toe of his boot against yours, forcing you to spread your feet further apart. Your lips roll together as he grunts in approval. "Try again now."
When he takes a step back, you face the tree again, bending your elbows before extending them sharply. The blade cuts deeper this time, if only by a little.
"You're focusing too much on your arms," he remarks behind your shoulder. 
Your eyebrow twitches. "I'm... I'm holding the axe with my arms. Why would I not focus on them?"
"When you're shooting arrows, what muscles do you use the most?"
Thinking back to those lessons from Paul, you answer almost immediately. "My back." It's always the part that gets most sore. "And my... my shoulders, I guess."
"Focus more on those."
His advice helps. The next swing deals considerable damage to the bark. You turn to see his response, but he's already gone back to his tree.
The next few days involve so much chopping and sawing that you think you might be starting to hate wood and all of its forms. After the trees are down, you have to cut them into sizeable logs. The back-and-forth motion leaves your arm numb. You quickly realize why Ghost is making you get up early for this work— once the sun is out, it becomes miserable, cold sweat cascading down your back and temples. 
Blue decides this is not the kind of training she's interested in watching. You don't see much of her except during dinner where she offers to cook the squirrels she's caught for you. You don't object. You pick the meat apart down to the needly bones, wiggle your sore toes of their confinements, and knock out earlier than either of them. Fatigue goes back to claiming you swift and heavy, like a current that pulls you down, down, down. The dreams sit behind a dark wall, blocked for now. 
It goes on like this for a whole week, and somewhere along the way, you stop hating it. The grunts that leave your mouth are laced with exertion and focus. Your arms don't hurt as much. You split the logs apart as your mind fills with thoughts of everything you hate. Greys. Death. Pity. You imagine breaking all those things into a hundred, rotten pieces. It feels... good.
One morning, you awaken to sunlight already bleeding through the plywood, and confusion sits you up. You look around, wondering why Ghost didn't get you up sooner, only to find Blue lying belly-down on the raggedy rug, flipping through one of her new magazines.
"Where's Ghost?" 
"Good morning to you, too," she sings. Her chin inclines from where it rests in her palm. "I decided you need a different kind of training today. He's setting it up."
"You... you decided that, huh?"
She hums. "I made you breakfast. Go eat." She waves her hand. "I'm sure he'll be done soon."
You have no idea what she's talking about, but your stomach guides you to the cooked meat calling your name. She points out things in the magazine, like old celebrities and ridiculous perfume ads, cute boys and yummy sweets she wishes she could try; you nod along as you eat.
When he returns, she perks up. Practically tugs on your arm. You have to remind her that you're still barefoot. She impatiently groans the entire time you are lacing up your boots, taking your sweet time on purpose. 
The pond is where she leads you. That place where you first saw her.
Except today, there is a thin log stretched across one end to the other. A bridge.
"We have got to work on your balance, my student," Blue announces, hands on her hips. A gentle, warm breeze tousles her hair and she swipes it from her face. "We can't have a repeat of you-know-what."
Your brows shoot up and a chuff of breath leaves your nose. "Are you trying to say I have no sense of balance?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying. Come on, now."
You almost forgot Ghost followed the two of you out here until he sits on a tree stump with his carving knife and the bow he's making. He's been working on it for a few hours every day. Today, when you steal a glance as Blue clasps your hand and leads you to the homemade bridge, it almost looks like a bow, finally taking on a curved shape. You can't see much of it, though, because soon you are being instructed to cross the log.
"Without falling," Blue adds. 
"Easy," you tease, shrugging. 
"Prove it."
The log is about the width of the metal beam, but much shorter. You cross over it, arms outstretched at your sides and boots hovering a few feet above glistening water that is teeming with fish. When you step down on the other side, you shoot Blue a grin.
She rubs her chin. "Not bad, not bad. Again."
You do it again with ease, even though your muscles are still stiff from your morning workouts. 
"Okay, this time, we're going to make it more realistic." 
By realistic, she means baring her teeth in a growl and sticking her arms out like a Grey. All of a sudden, you are being chased across the log, Blue running behind you. Explicatives leave your lips until your boot misses a step and you fall into the water. This time, the shallow pond offers a comfortable temperature that doesn't send your body into panic mode. You break the surface, able to stand up on the rocky bottom, and throw your wet hair out of your face as laughter bubbles up your throat on its own accord.
You look up at Blue, playfully glaring. She smirks.
"Come here, Grey," you say.
You grab her by the ankle and pull her down into the water with you. She gasps and giggles, thrashing around in her soaked clothes as you splash water in her face. 
"Or," you taunt, "Should I say Amelia?"
Her eyes widen. "How did you—" 
Then, she's leaping at you, pushing your head under the water. "Don't ever call me that."
"Or what?" You tease and swim away, scaly fish brushing against your ankles as the wide legs of your jeans ride up. "You'll kill me?"
"Might have to!"
You're not sure how long the two of you swim in there. Minutes. Maybe an hour. Until your fingertips are pruney like how they used to get when you used to swim in the pool with your sister.
You hoist yourself out of the pond and sit by the water's edge, drenched shirt clinging to your breasts uncomfortably, but you don't care. You've felt far more uncomfortable things. The buttery sunlight kisses your exposed cheeks as you wring out your hair, Blue sitting beside you to do the same thing.
She peels off her wet jeans, probably uncomfortable in them. You would do the same if you were eleven and didn't care. On her thigh, the thick scar from her bullet wound blemishes the soft, pale skin.
"I'm a better teacher than Ghost, huh?" she says.
"So far," you nod, glancing at him. When you do, his eyes meet yours across the short distance. Only for a second. Before they flicker back down to the bow.
"He hates swimming, you know."
You look at her. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. He never really goes in with me." She shrugs and buries her fingers in the grass. "Hey. Look. There are those violets I told you about."
You follow the direction of her eyes and sure enough, a patch of wild violets decorate the ground, gently bent in the breeze. As your clothes dry, the two of you pluck them. They are beautiful. Dark purple petals. You braid them into her hair. She tries to do the same for you, but her braiding skills need some work. It's a nice break from the past week you've had, your sore limbs sprawled against the grass to dry.
It's when the sun starts to lower that Blue puts her jeans back on. Your clothes are still wet, and the wind is starting to pick up, spreading gooseflesh across your skin. 
"Here."
The familiar low voice announces his presence. Tucking your wet hair behind your ears, you look up at Ghost. The two of you haven't exchanged many words except for his occasional correction of your form while cutting wood. 
He stands against the sun. You take the finished bow from him in quiet awe. It's even nicer up close, the smoothed oak caressing your palms as you glide them up and down the length of this new weapon. The first one he gave you was made for a child, but this one is larger, the perfect size for you. Your index finger gives a pluck to the string, feeling the hum of vibrations. He must have just added that. 
"Thank you," you tell him honestly. Whatever uncertainty or irritation you might feel about him doesn't change the swell of gratitude you feel in this moment. It’s a tangible thing that sits in your chest. “It's... great, really."
"Might take some getting used to,” he says gruffly.
You shrug. "That's alright."
You glance to your left where Blue is still changing. With a swallow, you hold the bow tight to your chest. "Do you think I'm ready to try more tomorrow? Not just the wood. I feel like... I feel like I've been getting stronger from it already."
He gives a short nod. "Tomorrow, then."
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entername322 · 7 months
Text
One weird day
Yuri (Izone) x Male Reader x Minju (Izone)
Length: 11644 words
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Highschool, such a mixed bag of memory and experience. For you, entering highschool has been very, scary. Not because you heard about how shitty it is. Mostly because you're not ready to grow up so fast. It felt like just yesterday you reached middle school, now you had to live to highschool, and prepare yourself for college?
"Stop dozing off idiot"
A sharp pain on your arm wake you up from your crippling mid life crisis, well, quarter life crisis. "Damn it I don't like highschool", Hearing your words Yuri just rolled her eyes on you. "We haven't even reach school for our first day stupid" You shake your head, "And I already hate feels good man"
"Come on we're gonna be late for our first day" Feeling the tug in your arm you tried to fight her only to fail miserably. "Bro we still have half an hour left for our 5 minute walk", Disregarding your complain Yuri grabbed your arm and made you sprint the rest of the way to school.
"Bro, you look smaller than before vacation", Your best friend, Jin greeted you when he saw you walk in the school grounds with Yuri dragging you. "Fuck you, did you grow again?" He nodded proudly, "Fuck yeah, 189 cm, soon I'll be in the NBA" Yuri rolled her eyes at him. "Heh, keep dreaming dumbass" Jin turned to the girls that's holding you. "Yeah, yeah, nice seeing you here too Yuri, I think you grew shorter", Jin have a thing with death, he likes to tease them by pissing Yuri off. "Damn it, bro help me"
Such a shame, he was so young too. Walking away from the crime scene you went to find your class. 1A, none of your friend is here. Of course you have two friend, one is dead the other killed him.
"Why you leave me bro, et tu brute?", Your ears tingle hearing that name. "Stop it with that name" You don't hate it, it's just weird. "Can't, your performance was too iconic", You left Jin to his injuries as you get in class and put down your bag.
Far back seat, next to the window, the anime protagonist seat. Except, the windows are tinted, a way to make sure the sun doesn't get in the students eye. And the view doesn't get to their mind. You heard Yuri loud footsteps chasing after Jin who bolted out of the area. As Yuri went pass your class she saw you and walked towards you.
"I'm in the same class with that idiot", How does she know? "How did you know?" She sighed, "I checked the announcement in the group chat", Ah yes, the group chat for all the new year students, you didn't read it.
"Idiot", Yuri slapped your head. "Damnit Yuri, go back to your class", She slapped your head again, "Class haven't started yet"
"Jin talked shit about your fatty arms", A bait, a bad one. "Woohoo, Brutus is getting karma" The classroom turns to a colloseum filled with your classmate cheers as Yuri is deconstructing your whole body with her punches. "I'm sorry", You let out a small whimper as she let you go. "Tchhhh", She snorted before leaving you to bleed out from your injuries.
"Hey Brutus, don't step my back when I'm paying attention in class okay?", The guy in front of you tried to befriend you. "Actually Brutus stab Caesar in the front so that he knows that he got betrayed" You don't mind getting new friend. "Oh yeah, fix your glasses when you do that", You're not wearing any. "Here use mine"
Watching the glasses he offered you stare at him silently before taking it. "Ackkshually, Brutus stabbed Caesar from the front to gloat over his dead body to announce his betrayal", He laughed at you before giving you a fistbump. "Perfect, I'm Doyoung"
"I'm-", "Brutus, I know", Seems like you made new friends on your first day.
You glanced at the entrance seeing, an angel. "Who is that?", Granted, you're not the most social person in your middle school, but you are sure you never saw the girl that just walk in. You would've remember someone that pretty.
"New chick, the guys went ham yesterday at the group chat trying to stalk her", Your friend seems to be in daze. The girl looked around before taking the seat next to me. "Act cool brute", You are acting cool, Doyoung isn't.
"I hate that name", Not really. "It suits you", It doesn't. "How", Doyoung just shrugged at you. "It just does", Brutus is not your real name, but it seems the name has already stick.
"Alright everyone, quiet down, get to your seat", Your homeroom teacher silent the class before starting the day, the year, the highschool life. The first class is math, and of course, you don't understand a single thing.
"Alright, let's have an exercise, complete this paper in a group of two please", Ah yes, making group, something you hated. "Brute", Doyoung turned to look at you. You wanted to say yes, but then you glanced to your right to see the new girl is looking around.
"You want to pair up together?", Bros before hoes, since you've only met Doyoung today, like 2 hour ago, he's not your bro just yet. "Uhmmm, okay", She nodded meekly.
Doyoung just stare at you with disbelief before his mouth formed a smile and he shake his head. "I'll get you for this", He mouthed with a smirk before turning to his other friend.
The teacher walked around giving the paper and hand it to you after asking who my partner is. The room got a bit noisy for a second with the sound of tables and chair cluttering as everyone combined their desk to work together. You looked at your new partner before using some geture to ask if she wants to merge desk. She nods so you moved yours to her.
"I'm Minju", She sound shy. "Hey, just call me Brutus, that's what everyone call me anyway", You don't know why you said that but you don't mind the rebranding of yourself. "Right, let's see the exercise", It was a ten question exercise all of which is our of your range.
"It's pretty easy", God hand you help using an angel called Minju. "Full disclosure here, I'm pretty stupid, so I'm sorry but I might be a dead weight", You're an idiot but not scummy. "No it's okay, I can help you", She tried, she really did.
"Listen here Min, I know you meant well, but I think we need to pause our tutoring session. There's not much time left and I already feel bad for dragging you down. You should finish it so you don't get your grade fucked up by me", Saying that made you cringe a little. She has helped you study a little but you just told her off to finish the assignment yourself.
"No it's fine", She waved her arms trying to convince you. "I really feel bad, I already drag you down with being your partner now I have to tell you to finish it off yourself but I really think you should just prioritise your own grade. You can write my name off the assignment", She looked at you for a second.
Oh fuck did I piss her off?
"Sorry, I-i-i-i'll finish it then"
Shit I pissed her off.
You just sat there quietly as she finish the whole assignment. As she finished, she didn't write off your name before handing it to the teacher.
"Sorry" She shake her head, "It's fine", It's probably not fine, for your pride. "It's fine really, I don't mind", She reassure you. "Now you make me feel worse", You accidentally gaslight her. "I don't mean to, it's really fine", She looked concerned. "I'm hurt" Now the position has turned, "What do I do to make you feel better?"
"Uhhhhhh, make me buy you lunch for payment?", Smooth, even Doyoung glanced from the side giving you a thumbs up. "I, okay then", Sweet, you just made another friend, doubling your friend size in the first day already.
"15 more minutes, if you finish your assignment already just raise your hand and I'll take it", Minju nervously opened a book and start writing. "What you doing?", You don't mean to snoop around, you're just bored. "Oh, nothing, it's nothing", She hurriedly close it before looking at you nervously.
"Sorry, don't mean to intrude"
"It's fine"
"You say that alot"
"Sorry"
"Nah don't be, I'm just curious that's all"
"Oh well, ask away"
Bonding time I guess.
"Where are you from?", Kim Minju, recently moved to Seoul, no friend in the school or the city. Likes photography and watching K-drama. As the class ended you went to the bathroom.
Getting a few moment of quiet Minju opened the book she hide from you earlier. It's a diary, where she wrote almost everything that happened in a day. You, been in the school since kindergarten, had a friend named Yuri who likes to, 'send you to god' occasionally. Likes reading and watching movies or show. Not very smart, pretty self aware and open about a lot of stuff.
Your favourite food is honey fried chicken and a strawberry smoothie. Likes cookies and sweet stuff as well. Hobbies include reading and spending the day in bed. During your attempt to know more about Minju you actually spend more time talking than her. Something Minju appreciate since she get to know more about you as well. When you returned Minju immediately closed the book and throw it to her bag.
"Well, should I move back?"
All the other classmates left their table and chair still merged while chatting. You don't want to make her uncomfortable so you asked if you should move. "No, it's fine", Alright, more bonding time. "Okay then, do you know what's next?", You obviously don't know or care about it, but you want to make some chitchat. "The class? From the schedule it seems like Korean?"
"What schedule?", You said confused. "The one in the group" Oh yeah, the group, are you even in it honestly? "Oh, I didn't read that", Carefree and ignorant about school. Minju made mental note for later.
The Korean class was fine, the teacher doesn't mind the seating position and just start handing out essays for us to analyse. "Are you having problem?", Minju think you're an idiot, not in a demoralising way, but in a concerned way. "No, I'm fine, look", She was throughly surprised seeing how through and detailed your comment was. "Oh right, you like reading", Good at literature, another mental note for her.
"Yep, it's I've read more fictional than not but it still have the same rule more or less", Minju seems intrigued. "What's your favourite series then?", You're surprised she's curious about it. "Mistborn, although I loved a lot but that one is the one I find myself revisiting often", Avid bookworm, another mental note. "Oh I like it too, although I haven't really read the second era", Minju like to read, in fact both of you spend the rest of the period to talk about some of your favourite series.
Once the first break came around you still busy talking to her about it. "Bro", Jin announced his arrival with a thunderous roar. He raised his eyebrow watching Minju. "Sup, meet Minju, she's new around town", Proudly, you show off your new friend. "Hello, I'm Jin", Oh, Jin is pulling out his flirting smile again. Yuri squinted at Minju for some reason.
They exchanged greeting, then both of them take the empty seat in front of us. "What's up with the seating here?", Jin said looking around, "Math, they had us do some assignments in a group of two", Yuri immediately know what you did. "And you burdened her by teaming up with her?", Yuri pinched your hand, Minju saw it and frowned. "It's fine, I really don't mind", Yuri still glared at me before smiling at Minju. "Sorry about this idiot, you should be careful he might drag you down", Jin saw a chance and took it, "That's right, if he cause trouble just call me and I'll take care of him"
Minju doesn't like your friend, she thinks they're demeaning you too much. So she grabbed your other hand. "It's really fine, I helped Brutus in math he helped me in Korean earlier", Yuri look at her hand grab which cause some unpleasant feeling in her stomach. "Brutus? You really want to take that silly name?", Jin laughed.
"Listen, some rebranding needs to be done okay?" Such a cheesy name, you rather find it quite funny. "It sounds silly", Yuri find it annoying, mostly because how you got the name. "I think it's pretty funny", Minju find it to be quite cheesy but it's right up her alley.
"Goddamn Brutus already being fight over by two goons", Doyoung came back with his friend. "Doy did you turn this idiot to Brutus?", Jin and Doyoung know eachother from basket you believe. "Perfect name honestly", Perfectly cheesy, "Don't you fucking call him that", Yuri glared at him, "Come on now don't kill me"
You see Yuri's head vein started to pop. You grabbed her hand that's pinching you. "Come on now Yuri, don't be rude to my new friend", You tries to defuse her anger. "Friend, I'm still mad at you for leaving me at math" Doyoung whoped his head dramatically. "Are you good at math?", He smiled at the argument. "Touche, I'm Doyoung by the way, nice to meet you", Jin stare at Doyoung seizing him up. Do note that he doesn't do that when Minju grabbed your arm.
"Oh hello, I'm Minju", Doyoung stare at the two hand you're holding right now before smiling at you. "Very smooth Brute", You stop holding the two girls hand. Minju find it to be unfortunate, she likes how warm your hand is. It's another thing she should add to her diary. Yuri hate it and happy that you let go. That's what she admits even though she felt some disappointment in her heart.
"Sorry guys, we need our seats back", Jin and Yuri reluctantly get off and left the class. "See you at lunch, Brutus" Jin peaced out. "Don't sleep in class again", Yuri is acting like your mom. Minju doesn't like her, she thinks she's too controlling. The word abuser has come up for her to describe Yuri.
Minju is a vixen trying to play with your heart. Yuri doesn't like her, she thinks Minju is up to no good. She kept a mental note to watch her.
"So, your friends seems.......", Minju struggled to find the right word. "Rude?", You helped her, "I was gonna say blunt, but yeah" She smiled. "I mean, that's just how they are", You're all young, politeness is not a thing yet. "You've known them for long right?", She needs to know more. "Well me and Jin know eachother around middle school. He just hangout with me sometimes" Jin doesn't seems like a bad person, but Minju would rather avoid him seeing the visible interest he has on her.
"Yuri, well we're neighbors, like her home is literally next to mine. We've been buddy since we were 3", For a moment Minju imagined what it feels like to have a friend like that. She felt jealous.
I want that, a childhood friend that's always been there for me.
The next period is English. You and Minju is good at the subject. You because you read some English novel, Minju because she's just perfect like that. So during the period you just talk to her some more. An enjoyable experience for you and Minju. Once the lunch break rang you grabbed her hand.
"Let's go to the cafeteria, before it got full", Minju happily grab your hand and hop with you to the cafeteria. "You want some tteokbokki with fried chicken?", Minju was busy enjoying your hand holding and stayed quiet. "Alright", You take her silence as an agreement.
When you wanted to lay she insisted that you alread repay her with the Korean essay but you shut her down by giving your money to the cashier before she can. "Really you don't need to do that", Minju seems kinda cute when she grumbled doesn't she? "Nonsense, come on let's find a place to eat", She has the same idea as you to sit at the corner of the cafeteria.
"Brutus has a new girlfriend already", Someone yells, "Hell yeah bro, on the first day too", Another follows. You're not sure where you get the attention from. It's mostly because the guys was already watching for Minju ever since they saw her in the group chat. Seeing her with you they felt a little dejected, but it's not like they are in a rush. It's only the first day after all.
"Goddamn I never been this acknowledge ever since, well ever", Do you mind it? Kinda. "Yeah, me too", You looked at her with a 'really?' face making her surprised. "Come on now look at yourself", Minju liked your compliments, she never liked being complimented by guys before. "Thank you", She said with a proud grin, "Alright diva", You two laughed as Jin joined you.
"Fuck I hate math, he took so long to teach now the cafeteria is already full", Minju decided to sit a little closer to you to discourage Jin from making a move. "Well, you won't get your food faster by sitting here", Thankfully you accidentally sends him off. "Fuck you", Just like how he come, he goes without explanation.
"What's our last period?"
"Hmmm? I think history"
"I hate history"
"Hahahaha, I thought you'll love it, Brutus"
"Since when does our history teach about the wacky Roman empire"
"Well, you got a point there"
As much as Minju is enjoying the lunch with you, it doesn't last long as Yuri came by. "Move Udon", Yuri is very persuasive, especially when she used her knee on your ribs. "Can you just drop that name already, and there's space there", She doesn't care so you reluctantly moved.
The seat was two seater facing eachother, but since all three are you small as a stick it fits. Minju is next to the wall but she doesn't mind since you get to be very close to her. "Mom wants me to buy some milk and eggs so we're getting a detour on our way home", Yuri feels the need to say that in front of Minju for some reason. "Feel fre to do so, I'm gonna go home and-", She denied your request with a slap to the head.
"That's not very nice", Minju grabbed your head. Some because she's concerned for you, some because she wants to feel up your hair. "Hey, mind your business princess", Yuri feel a weird agitation seeing Minju is caressing your head. "No way I'm letting you abuse your friend like this", Oh no, Yuri vein is popping again.
"Hey, I know this guy ever since I know how to walk, don't snoop around our friendship", Yuri grabbed your hand again. She hate it don't think that she want to hold your hand. In fact she's done it a thousand time already, so don't think anything weird is going on.
"Are you okay?", Minju disregard the angry Yuri and turned to you. This act of disrespect is not gonna slide so easily. "Hey, back off", Yuri glared at Minju, "You first, you're making this place feel small, and we got here first" Yuri rolled her eyes. "It's probably because you're fat", Minju doesn't seems to got hurt over it, she just smiled. "Hmmm? Is it? I guess you are too small to make a difference anyway. By the way are you sure you didj tleft your height in middle school?", Maybe, making 2 friends is s little too much for your new day.
"Girls please, can't we just have a normal lunch", The two looked at you with a frown. "Please?", They sighed but didn't let you go. "Are you okay?", Minju is running her finger through your hair.
Fluffy, can I keep holding on to it.
"I'm fine Min, thanks", She sighed and let go fo your hair. She will find a way to hold it later. "Yuri, can you let me go", Yuri glared at you, she's holding you to keep you safe. Yeah, that's all. "Yuri please", Knowing her for a while you know how to make puppy eyes that she just can't refuse. She can't refuse it because she felt pity seeing you so desperate. Obviously it's not because that look always gave her a heart attack.
"Fine", The two of them have some staring competition here and there but they don't cause any more trouble with you. Jin never came back to your table, you didn't look for him either. You're too busy to make sure no world war happened in the table.
"You shouldn't sleep at the next class Udon. You're in highschool now, the teacher won't be as lenient as before", Yuri scolded you, "I'll be fine", Since you all finished your food you drop down your hand which Yuri took to pinch, and hug. No not hug, she's locking it so you won't take it away.
"It's okay, if there's something you don't understand just ask me", Minju smiled at you and grab your other hand. It's nothing but skin on bones, she needs to change that. "Tchhh, the teacher can teach better"Yuri have a point. "Sometimes a little lesson from your classmates can help you better", Minju does not agree. "A smart one" Yuri scoffed, "Thank you"
Yuri's furious burning gaze and Minju's cold sinister gaze fight over eachother with you in the middle of it all. Yuri  then grabbed your hand tighter, pulling to between her boobs.
Oh fuck that felt good. What? No focus Yuri.
"Don't trust this girl, she's playing with you", She whispered in your ears. For the first time, your childhood friend that's basically your sister has turned into a, woman. Minju frowned and pulled your hand, so much so that you almost fall to her. Reactively you put down your hand to keep your balance. Minju felt disappointed until she saw your hand is between her thighs. With a mischievous smile she immediately wrapped it with her soft pale thighs.
Hmmm, I should move a little bit to the front.
Thankfully for you she didn't. "You know I think since you pay for my lunch I have a debt for you, what if I buy you some smoothie on our way back"
Fuck her thighs is so soft and smooth. Fuck since when did Yuri have such big boobs. FUCK WHAT IS HAPPENING.
"Girls please, let's get to class", Minju showed Yuri a triumphant smile making the latter frown even deeper. "Oh yeah mom is cooking some quiche tonight, come and join us for dinner okay", You love quiche, you don't love it when it's used against you. The two then send eachother glare yet again before the bell rang. "I'll see you later after school Yuri, come on Min time for our last period", Reluctantly the two of them let go of you. You were also reluctant of leaving their embrace. Min didn't let go of your hand much to Yuri dismay. As you two walk into your class she stick out her tongue to Yuri behind your back.
Fucking whore.
The history teacher told us to return our table to the previous state. Minju looked at you separating from her with a sad face. You're not stupid, you see what's brewing between her and Yuri. It's just, weird. Yuri have been your friend for so long you're practically inseparable. You've slept together, spend holidays together. Bath together when you were a kid. Yet today, she seems to find something new about herself regarding you. The changes has happened around late middle school already.
How she always try to protect you, how she doesn't like when other girl tried to group up with you. She's did not deter them from you, that part is on you with your edgy phase. Sometimes you would think about the future, and she will always be there. You think today, she was forced to confront that feeling seeing someone so pretty is around you. You can practically see the change in her mood the moment Minju came to comfort you after she hit you. It's like her whole existence is being tested.
Minju on the other hand is very pretty. Like pretty to anyone standard, but for you, she's the picture perfect manifestation of  beauty. Everything about her looks checked every box in your type. Then there's her personality. Kind and caring, patience too remembering she let you burdened her in math. Not to mention, she's actually a bookworm like you, how many girls you met actually have the same taste in book?
Her current situation is also perfect.
New girl in a new school, new town even remembering she said she just moved in nearby. A secluded girl who seems to be the perfect girl for your type. How many guy would kill to have this exact chances. While you were thinking this, your two friend is also thinking about the same thing.
Minju liked you, she felt a certain familiarity with you after one day. Just like how she's perfect for your type you're also, well, passable for her type. Personality wise, too early to judge but seems promising. Hobbies and interests, perfect fit. Looks? A little too skinny but she don't mind, helping you. More than that, she projected her old memory to your current friendship with Yuri. She wants to protect you, she wants to make sure you never go through what she did. Of course, she's reading too much into it, but she doesn't know that.
Yuri is in turmoil. Somehow, today, your smile seems very different than usual. Your touch seems way more warm. Your stupid smell is also lingering in her mind. She is angry at you for making her feel that way, distracting her from class. Yet above you, there's Minju, someone she's throughly furious at. The new girl just moved in and suddenly got all close and friendly to you? Minju is up to no good, that's the consensus Yuri has reached. She needs to stop Minju, she won't let her hurt you. She might be covering her anxiety of losing you with some stupid reasoning, but she doesn't know it.
The day ended, as Minju was pacing up her things she saw you is ready to leave. No, she can't let you leave yet, you're gonna be taken to the hand of that abuser. "Wait", She grabbed your hand. She has grow fond of the feeling from your soft hands. "All okay Min?", The little name he got for you made her believe that your friendship is already a strong one. "Can we, go walk together?", Inside you is two wolf. One want to spend more time with Minju and solidify your first day friendship. One doesn't want to be in the middle of war again.
"Sure, where do you live?", The former won, the latter screamed that you will regret this with it's last dying breath. "It's just down the street actually, 5 minute walk", Seeing you accept, Minju immediately grabbed her things and put it in her back quickly.
"Let's go", Minju speed up for two things, one she doesn't want to make you wait, second she sees other guy is trying to talk to her. In order to deter anyone from making a move she wrapped her arm around you. A gesture, you appreciate very much. The two of you walked out your class to see Yuri is waiting for you. The gesture isn't as appreciated as before.
"Minju want to walk home with us", With you, she wants it with you. Yuri's face contorted before grabbing your other hand and start dragging you out of the school. "Yuri slow down", You tries to stop her. "Mom need to make her quiche you're gonna make her wait too long", Yet feeling your hand yanked Yuri back, a painful feeling starts to stab her heart.
"Calm down first, Min where's your house?", Minju gloat over Yuri's visible turmoil. "It's down this street, right in that corner, that one", You can actually see her house from the school, it's on the way to your home and right after the convenience store. "Oh perfect, that's on the way home, come on let's get some milk and eggs", Minju smiled to Yuri who is frowning.
The three of you made your way to the convenience store. It was supposed to be milk and eggs, but Minju seems to have a shopping list to fill. "What are you doing, we need to go home", Yuri doesn't like that Minju is holding you up.
"Sorry, I just need a dark chocolate bar", Minju continue dragging you through 5h3 store. "If you really sorry let go of him and go find it yourself. It's faster", Minju stared at Yuri for a second before looking at you. "Ehmm, go find it Min, we'll wait at the cashier", This time, it's her that went to a turmoil, making Yuri smile victoriously. Minju hurriedly scurry off while Yuri dragged you to the entrance.
"You need to stop talking to her", You look at her confused. "What? Yuri are you insane?", She grit her teeth hearing you,"She's up to no good, I just know it", Yuri hate seeing your confused face.
He doesn't know, I need to protect him, I can't let him get hurt because of some whore trying to play with his heart.
"Yuri, we just met today, I'm getting to know her. She's nice, funny, beau-" She doesn't like it, she doesn't like hearing you praise Minju. "You don't understand", She might yell the last part too hard. Seeing everyone in the streets turn to her all the blood on her body start to rush to her face. "I, let's talk about it later", The second wolf was right, you will regret this.
Not long you saw Minju walk out to you. "Sorry for taking too long", Her smile, it's quite pleasant to look at doesn't it? "No problem", Your smile is also quite pleasant to look at, according to her.
"Look, try this on", Minju bring out a sunglasses and put it on you. "You buy a sunglasses?", You laughed fixing it's placement on your face. "I don't know, it looks cool", It's also at a scammy price. "Ughhh, come on, you've stalled us long enough", Yuri pulled you to walk again.
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You felt Minju tugged your other arm. Looking back at her you see she has her phone out and took a picture of you. "Huh?", You're not really sure how to respond to that. "Oh no, you look cute when you wear it", Oh, you actually managed to spend the day with her without blushing once. Until now. "Hahaha, the glasses is really good on you", Another picture of you, looking away while the blush is creeping up in your face. "That's your house right? Bye bye", Yuri was squeezing your hand seeing Minju is flirting with you. "Okay, see you later oppa", Since when did you become her oppa? Both you and Yuri was pondering that question when Minju walked into her house.
"Alright, see, she's nice", Yuri just grimaced at you. "Take that sunglasses off", Oh you still wearing it. "Oh fuck, Minju", You ran after Minju while Yuri is squeezing your hand even harder. "Awww, Yuri stop it", She didn't, so you just continue walking in defeat. "Minju, your glasses", Minju walked out of her house again. "Keep it, I didn't buy you smoothie today", Is this gonna be a war between you and her? "Come on take it back", She shake her head while smiling mischievously. Damn does it pierced your heart. "If you don't like it, you can repay me tomorrow, good bye, see you later", She winked at you. Oh yeah this is war, of kindness and favour.
Yuri is fuming, "Alright see you tomorrow", You immediately drag Yuri with you. This time, the chance of murder is actually high enough to be a possibility.
During the walk Yuri can't stop hugging your arm. Her finger occasionally pulled on your jacket, her nails sometimes sinked to it piercing to your skin. "Yuri you're gonna make me look like a cat attack victim" Your hand tried to held hers making certain feelings wells up in her. "Shut up", You shut up.
Yuri dragged you into her house, against your will. "Yuri, don't kill your boyfriend on your first day of highschool", Her mom laughed seeing you two. "He's not my boyfriend", Yuri screamed while putting the groceries on the table before dragging me down to her room.
"Yuri, what is happening to you?", You rubbed your arm. "What is happening to me? You were the one who act like a stupid boy being overdosed by hormone chasing a whore like her" You felt your anger raise hearing her say that. "Yuri, Minju is not a whore", Your cold voice surprised Yuri which she hide by more yelling. "Yeah? I see how she acts around you, she put your hand between her legs just to tease you, she's a fucking whore", For the first time in forever, you actually got angry to Yuri.
"She's not a whore and I don't appreciate your fucking jealousy ruin my new friendship" Yuri's face contorted at your words. "What jealousy are you talking about idiot, you think I did this because I'm jealous of her?", Yuri felt her hand shaking, of all the time you scolded her you've only fought back a few times, enough to be counted in one hand. Yet now, out off all the time you could've fight her you choose today. "Listen, she's a-"
Hail Mary this shit.
You reached out to hug her. You know Yuri doesn't like physical touch. Ever since you two were 15 she stopped hugging you or holding your hands. She become self aware about her own sexuality and stop the physical touch between you. So today, seeing her so touchy with you, it might require drastic measures to calm her.
Why did you never hug me again? I've been missing your touch.
Yuri take a deep sniff of your body. If not for today she might forget how it felt. Your little skeletal body feels so warm and, calming for her. "Yuri, Minju is a nice girl, and I want to befriend her. Relax okay, she won't take me away from you", Your voice seems so calming, since when did you have such a deep voice.
Oh god, I am falling for him. All those time I denied him from any physical touch. I was rejecting my own feelings. Mom is right, this is my boyfriend. And I won't let that fucking whore get him.
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As you were waiting for her to respond you felt a sharp pain on your chest. "Yuri", You pulled away from the hug only to find Yuri is already hugging you tight. "Acckkkk, Yuri stop", She let go, looking at you with..... Ecstasy.
"I don't like her, at all", Maybe hugging her was a terrible idea. "Yuri please-" She cuts you off with a finger to your mouth. "But I'll let you befriend her, for now", Well, not, a terrible idea?
"Thank you", She doesn't like hearing your relieved sigh. "On two conditions", No such thing as a free meal. "One, if she got touchy or flirty with you then I'm calling it off", Oh no, you realised you force her to confront her feelings and accept it. "And two, we are sleeping together", Still hugging you, Yuri felt your heartbeat rises, something she take pride off.
He's so nervous, that means he like me too. Oh god I was so stupid, if I would just let us continue our antics we would be married by now.
"What?" Your voice break a little. "We're sleeping together again, at my house, at your house, I don't care" Yuri sinked her head to your chest. "Yuri you know we can't do that?", You can, but you need to make up an excuse. "Why not?", Yuri suddenly whined like a kid making you very surprised.
"Because we're already grown ups", She frowned before grabbing your arm and pulled you downstairs. "Mom I'm sleeping with oppa", Two girls make you their oppa today. "Oh? That's a quick change, okay honey have fun", Yuri smiled happily before dragging you back to her room.
"Yuri, since when am I your oppa" The whole thing is so confusing. "Since now, get on the bed, we're having a nap", Without waiting Yuri throw you to the bed and jumped on you.
"Yuri" You tried to sat up. "Ssshhh, go to sleep oppa, I'll be right here, I'll keep you safe", Out of your expectations she reached in and kissed your cheek. Something that scares you, also arrouse you a little. "Don't be so nervous oppa, I promise I won't bite again if you play nice", That's a lie, she will bite you again, but later. "Yuri, I need to change my clothes and- ackkk", What a nice boyfriend, you gave her the chance to bite you again now. This time, it's on your neck. Despite you flaunting your limbs she doesn't stop until she's finished.
"There, that'll look good on you, oppa~~", Your hand reached out to grab your neck, feeling the stinging pain as you touch it. "Did you leave a mark?", She just giggled before putting her head on your chest again. "Yuri" Yuri pulled back your hand and sleep. "Enough oppa, it's been a long day, get some rest", She put her finger on your lips, and you feel she will put another thing on it if you keep resisting. Reluctantly you lay your head down, closing your eyes."Good night oppa, my oppa"
As you and Yuri is having a nice, platonic sleeping session, Minju is busy writing down her diary. All the detail she notices from you. All the funny feelings she has for you. She printed out the picture she took of you before and glued it to the diary. Writing and writing on, she didn't realised she's taken 16 pages writing just about you. The day already settled as the sun sets. Your two pictures is hanging on her desk. The realisation kicked in like a truck.
It's love at first sight. That's right, he's my soulmate, oh god I'm so lucky. So what if he's a guy, love doesn't care about sexuality or gender.
She quickly stripped out the name she have for you at her diary entry. The title of your page turned from 'First friend' to, well you know, 'Boyfriend' obviously.
I need to make some brownies for oppa, I can call him tonight, I can meet him again.
First thing she needs to do, is help you gain some weight.  You're perfect as you are, but she's scared you might break your bone from a falling leaves. Founding a new motivation her small elegant steps echoed around the empty house.
Around 5 PM you woke up, seeing Yuri is biting your chest. "Yuri", Surprised by your voice Yuri looked at you with an excited smile. "Morning oppa", Without warning you felt a soft pair of lips pressing up against yours. The kiss was so gentle, you almost didn't believe it was Yuri who's kissing you.
I'm kissing him, I'm actually kissing him, oh oppa how much I wished I never reject this feelings.
The kiss ended the polar opposite of how it started.
Slowly you two pulled away from eachother.
Your forehead still pressing up against eachother.
Your soft breath intertwined with hers.
Yuri was staring at your lips, her hand reached out to grab her cheek and her thumbs gently caressed your lips.
Her eyes darted upward to see your are in a daze.
"I love you oppa"
She whispered so quietly you felt like she was just breathing normally.
"Oppaaaa, I love youuuuu"
She hummed it as she pulled up.
"I, I don't know Yuri"
Intoxicated by the kiss and her own delusion, Yuri find your answer to be a cute reaction to hide your embarrassment.
"It's okay oppa, you can answer me later"
She came down again to give you a peck on your mouth.
"I need to take a shower"
Surprisingly Yuri let you go.
"I'll see you at dinner oppa, mwah"
She kissed your neck sending tickling sensation through your body.
You ran to your home, your loud footsteps drawn your sister attention.
"Where did you go?"
You saw her spawend in front of you.
She was just standing there, you actually got so much in your mind that you didn't realise it.
"I was just, with Yuri"
That's the usual explanation you had for her, now it felt so different for you.
"Ohhhh? I see, go take a shower then, and button your chest"
You looked down to your chest to find it riddles with lipstick mark.
"I need to go"
The only thing you heard from her is the echoing laughter that will haunt you in your dreams tonight.
You looked at yourself at the mirror, your mouth is so red that it might be mistaken as a cherry.
A cold shower, a really ice cold shower is exactly what you needed.
After finishing up your shower you saw a text from Minju.
"She wants to meet? Tonight? Fuck"
You tried to come up with some excuse.
The problem is, she can see that you're typing, so she called you.
"Fuckkkk"
You screamed, yet you answer anyway.
"Hey oppa, I was sorry for stalling you up earlier, so I thought I'll make it up to you"
Think fast cowboy, if you say no, it will mean that Yuri might discourage Minju tomorrow.
If you say yes, you might have a your lifespan shortened.
"I, don't know, I still owe you for the sunglasses"
"Hehehe, it's okay, you look good in it, come here oppa"
The Hail Mary strategy from before failed.
.
.
.
But it won't fail twice in a row right?
"Okay, I can see you now"
"Perfect, see you here~"
You have 2 hour till dinner, you get dressed and ran downstairs.
"Noona, I'm going out, I have dinner at Yuri, and, probably gonna spend the night there"
Your sister smiles at you.
"Okay, have fun, don't forget to buy condoms, in fact I still have it from the last time my boyf-"
You are not taking three hail Mary strategy today.
You ran off to Minju's place, the moment you got at her fence you saw her walked out the house.
"Hey oppa, come on"
She grabbed your hand and hurriedly pulled you inside.
Her house, is big, you didn't realised it before since Yuri is tearing your hand apart while Minju is tearing your heart.
"Look, brownies"
The smell of freshly baked brownies made your stomach grumble.
"You made this?"
"Yep, I learned baking for a while now, come on sit, I'll prepare a plate for you"
She sat you down at the living room couch.
Looking around, this house looks expensive as fuck.
The wood walls, the high ceiling, the black marble kitchen counter.
Minju really is a princess.
She came back with a plate of brownies and a glass of, vanila smoothie?
"I know you like strawberry smoothie but I only have vanilla, I'll buy some strawberry tomorrow"
God damn the Minju option is getting more and more enticing.
"Dig in oppa"
She sat next to you and hugged your arm.
You noticed her outfits, a thin white shirt with a red side stripe pants.
No bra, and her short is pulled up so high you might be able to take a glimpse to her-
Brownies, yeah, you're eating brownies.
"Thank you Min, you really don't have too"
She smiled seeing you eating her brownies.
It was really good, you never really buy any brownies outside the store one so this homemade brownies taste heavenly.
"You want to go out with me oppa?"
You felt a piece got inhaled to your respiratory system making you cough.
"Come on slow down oppa, I still have a lot more for you"
She laughed seeing you coughed up the brownies before swallowing it down.
"Here, drink this"
She take the smoothie and you sip it.
It's a very enticing option really.
"Min, we just met today"
A fair argument.
"We're soulmate oppa, I feel it the moment we've met, I love you"
A strong counterpoint, mostly because of her face, and body, and voice, and brownies. It's a bit unfair for you isn't it?
"Listen-"
She crawled on top of you, putting her closing statement to the argument.
"Sssshhhh, don't be scared, time doesn't matter. We're getting together sooner or later, so just starts now"
The second part of her closing statement is her soft lips pressing up against yours.
If the aggressive and impatient Yuri had a super soft and gentle kiss.
The gentle and elegant Minju have a passionate and aggressive one.
Her tongue slitehered into your mouth, pulling yours to a fight.
You weren't sure if it's because your mouth is still coated by the brownies and smoothie but her kiss felt so sweet.
Minju looked at you with a lustful eyes.
"Stay the night oppa, I want to spend it with you please"
"I, I have a dinner with Yuri"
Why did you say that?
Minju felt annoyed, that's right, annoyed, not angry.
She find Yuri to be a non competitor but an annoying flies between you two.
"Please oppa? I'll make you a tasty dinner"
Ah shit, what now?
"Are you, free after dinner?"
It's an acceptable term.
"Okay then, when is your dinner?"
"In an hour"
"Then we have an hour"
You didn't have to ask for what because she returned back to kissing you.
As much as you were enjoying her kiss your mind is pulling out a plan.
You need more time to make your decision.
So you have to make this two girls have a ceasefire until you made up your mind.
"Min"
You pulled away from her aggressive kiss.
She frown at you, oh no, she's so cute.
"Aren't your parents gonna be mad when they walked in seeing us?"
"Oh, my parents doesn't live here"
"What?"
"Yeah, they bought the house for me to stay in during highschool"
A princess.
She lay down her head to your neck, to find, something.
"This wasn't here before"
Her cold finger touch the bitemark Yuri gave you.
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"Yeah, something happened"
As she raised her head you can feel the temperature dropping down below 0.
"Oppa, I really don't want to ruin your mood by making you break your relationship with her. But if this is the kind of relationship you have with her-"
"It's not, it's complicated okay?"
Minju is not satisfied with your answer, but there's another matter to deal with for now.
She leaped to your neck, and bite it.
"Min"
The hickey from her felt, sensual, mostly because she's grinding on you.
"Min I need to go"
You hear her growl before she let go of your neck.
"Come back soon okay oppa? Don't make me wait too long"
"I promise it won't be long"
She smiled happily and gave you another kiss before seeing you off.
You opened your phone to see Yuri has been calling you non stop.
Gritting your teeth you ran to her house.
Her parents look at you surprised.
"Yuri just went to get you in your house"
"Oh I was from the convenience store, I'll go get her"
Let's try to calm her down before dinner with the parents.
"Where were you"
Yuri bolted to you the moment she saw you walk to your bedroom.
"I'm sorry I wa-"
"With that whore"
Her grip tightens on you.
"Yuri after-"
"She even marked you, oppa you were cheating on me?"
"Listen Yuri, I need you to come with me after dinner okay?"
She looked at you angrily.
"I need to talk to both of you"
"There is nothing to talk about, we belong together, we're already together since we know how to walk and we will still be together until we die"
She shake your body while her eyes got teary.
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"Listen, Yuri, can you just, listen to me for once"
Within Yuri mind, a thought is forming, the thought is that she's losing the fight.
It hurts her, it hurt her very much, it's so painful she might just break.
"Why, why oppa I know you for so long already, why did you have second thoughts already? Just because of some girl you met today?"
"Yuri, I just want to make sure"
"Fine, I'll make amends with her"
You're not really sure what she meant by that.
"Thank you Yuri"
Yuri will have you in her life, she will make sure you're not taken away from her, even if she has to compromise with a whore.
Your hug managed to calm her down.
"Yuri, are you crying?"
She answer with her muffled sobs.
"Yuri... Calm down"
You caressed her hair as she hugged you.
"Oppa, don't leave me"
"I won't Yuri, I won't"
"Don't leave me"
"I won't"
"Oppa"
"Yes Yuri?"
"Oppaaa"
You keep answering her as she calm herself down.
Yuri like the way your finger ran through her hair, it's so comforting.
It's decided, she will have to compromise, anything to keep you in her life.
"Yuri let's fix your hair"
You don't want her parents to start asking questions.
A smile formed on her face seeing you wipe her tears and brush her hair.
"I think that's good enough, let's go"
She didn't move, her smile was frozen in place so is her body.
"Yuri?"
"I love you oppa"
"I-"
"It's okay, come here"
She reached out to pull you for a kiss.
So soft and slow, especially compared to Minju's kiss from earlier.
"Let's go"
She whispered before pulling you to her house.
"Bye you two, don't forget to use protection"
"Noona"
"We will unnie, bye"
You glared at Yuri who's smiling happily.
"Ah there you are, well come on, dinners ready"
Yuri grabbed your hand and intertwined her finger with yours.
Her parents smiled seeing her actions.
You two sit next to eachother while facing her parents.
"So, what happened between you two"
Her mom is smiling curiously while her dad, he just doesn't care.
"I'm dating now"
"Good for you sweetie, and you too darling, you two are so perfect together"
"Thanks mom"
Yuri kissed your cheek while you're just sitting there eating.
"Dad aren't you gonna congratulate me?"
"No, you two are meant to be anyway so it's just the matter of time"
"Tccchhhh"
Yuri's dad is an absolute apathetic, her mom is a gossip girl, how did Yuri become an MMA fighter?
"How was your first day in highschool?"
"Everyone called oppa Brutus now and he just force them too"
"Really? Because of that drama?"
"Yes"
You can't really eat properly since Yuri is busy cuddling with you, at the dinner table, in front of her parents.
"Yuri, sweetie, why don't you take your boyfriend to your bedroom, you two seems like you need a room"
Her mom said as we finished the dinner.
"Me and oppa is going out for a walk, see you later Mom, bye dad"
Yuri and I walked to Minju's place.
"What is she doing here?"
Minju's open hostility made Yuri answered with her own. However she managed to keep herself calm.
Be patient, I need to be patient for oppa.
"Can we get in?"
Minju carefully eyes Yuri before grabbing your free arm.
The three of you sat at the living room, the two girls refused to acknowledge the existence of the other one.
"Listen, I know, you two are in love with me"
"I love you more, we're soulmates"
"I know you longer oppa, we are already meant to be together"
"Shut up, now, Minju, I know you for one day, Yuri, we've been growing up as friends, until today. So I can't make a decision yet"
"What decision, we are soulmate oppa"
"Shut up, oppa is talking"
The two exchanged glare for a moment.
"I need sometimes okay? I need time to make my mind, and I want you two to have a ceasefire until I made my decision"
The two doesn't like your proposal.
"How long"
"A month at least"
"No, a month at most"
Minju is very unpleased.
"Oppa, I need to talk with Minju"
"No, you two gonna kill eachother"
"Oppa, just leave for a second, I promise I won't kill her"
Minju stare at Yuri cautiously trying to gauge her intentions.
"Minju?"
"Fine, wait in the kitchen oppa, you can watch us from there"
Reluctantly you left the two girl to their own devices.
Yuri and Minju stare at eachother for awhile.
"Share him"
Minju definitely didn't expect that.
"What?"
"I'm not losing him, and I don't like to gamble, so share him"
"Are you stupid? Why would I share him when he's already mine"
"Because you might also lose"
The two stare at eachother angrily.
"We're soulmates"
"Does he know that?"
"I will make sure he does"
"I know him long enough to know he's not believing those kind of things"
"You know him for so long yet he still thinking about me, the girl he met in the first day"
Yuri felt her patience is slowly draining.
"Just share him with me, we can get a piece together"
Minju is not stupid, she knows the possibility of her losing you is a 50/50.
Yet she still doesn't trust Yuri.
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why you want to share him? You're antagonising me the whole day and you want to make peace with me?"
"Because he's conflicted. And I know, if he chooses you it will hurt, so much I might lose my mind. And if he chooses me, he will feel hurt for hurting you that I might also feel guilty"
Those thoughts has also went through Minju's mind.
"You're scared aren't you"
"Of course I am"
"To me?"
"My whole life I've known him and you come in and managed to threaten my position in the first day, of course I'm scared"
For a second, Minju realised, Yuri might not be as bad as she thought.
"Awwww, are you insecure?"
Minju patted Yuri's head making the latter frown.
"Don't do that"
"Hehehe, you're just a timid little girl aren't you, I'm sorry for scaring you"
"Minju stop it"
"Fine, I agree, I'll share him"
Seeing the changes on Yuri's face Minju felt a little relieved. Yuri might be a good partner to have as well.
She's cute, pretty, also when she got all embarrassed like this it make her heart flutter.
"Let's set up the ground rule then"
"Fine, we're the same priority, no main girl or something like that"
"That one is acceptable, second is group chat. I don't want any private chat between us and oppa. Everything need to be said in the group chat"
"That's, acceptable too I guess. Then you can't have too much date. If we both have two date and you took him out in one you can't have another one after I get one"
"You read my mind cutie"
"I'm not cute"
"But you're blush is so-"
"Stop it, another one is I want a budget limit on our dates"
"Oh come on, I want to pamper him"
"I can't keep up with your money, look at this house, you're definitely rich"
"I am, and that's okay cutie, he will still love you even though you won't be as rich as me"
"Fine, guess I'll just have to take him to dates with my family and parade him as my boyfriend"
.
.
.
.
"So the spending limit, let's say, 100 thousand won?"
"Are you insane?"
"Ughhh, fine, how about this, I won't take him to super expensive place, and we don't buy him anything. Our gifts need to be made by ourself"
"Good, I like that"
"Butttt, I want to buy him some new clothes, I want my boyfriend to dress well"
"Ughhh, his wardrobe is so bad"
"Hehehe, shopping trip with us then"
Minju hugged Yuri making the latter develop a smile.
"I'm looking forward to work with you, Minju"
"I'll be looking forward to work with you too, Yuri"
You are watching this weird interaction and was completely baffled seeing the two girl hug.
Ah shit I made them gay and fell for eachother.
Then the two of them turned to you with a creepy smile.
The wolf you pick has changed sides and tell you this is a bad idea.
"Oppa, come here"
You're not sure which one called for you.
Slowly you walked back to them.
Once you're close enough Yuri grabbed you and sat you down between her and Minju.
"Alright oppa, we will have a ceasefire"
Minju draw around your chest with her finger.
"Good, I promise one-"
"Forever, because we don't need to fight for you anymore"
Yuri start nibbling on your arm.
"What?"
"We are sharing you, aren't you happy oppa?"
It would be a lie if you never thought of the harem option. It would also be a lie if you think that the option is a genuine option to take. Yet, it's also a lie, if you say you're not excited right now.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I can't believe you're actually second guessing yourself for a girl you just met today oppa, bad oppa"
You felt a sharp pain in your shoulder as she sank her fang to it.
"That's okay oppa, I won't make you have the painful responsibility to hurt one of us, so we compromise"
Minju kissed your cheek.
"So first of all oppa, you have to love us equally"
"That's right, we are also using a group chat for now on, no private chat between us"
"Then, we will keep track of how much date to make sure it's fair", Notes, you need notes. And maybe some water splashed to your face. "Are you two, actually, serious"
The two of them looked at you, stare at eachother before attacking you. The two of them wrapped one arm around your neck locking it in place. Then they kissed your cheek. So synchronized, so creepy. Of course you're overwhelmed already so you're not feeling the desperate self preservation your brain is trying to send off.
"You're our boyfriend now okay?","Our oppa" They are synchronized now. "Okay, okay, okay", The two are ecstatic with your response and giggles before they bite your neck.
"Ahhhh, girls", Your moan of pain only made them even more excited. "Who kiss first?", Yuri raised her hand in response, "Rock-paper-scicors"
Yuri won and get the first bite of your lips. The lips of her new boyfriend. Minju is watching you with smiles all over her face. Once Yuri had enough fill she slowly parted from you, her mind is in a daze. She tried to inhale as much as your scent. "You're so shy when you kiss Yuri, so cute", Minju smiled.
"I'm not cute", The sight of your tomboyish childhood friend turning to a tomato is too cute. "You are kinda cute", You supported Minju's words. Yuri hide her face letting out a squeal before dropping to your chest.
"Hehehehe, my turn", Minju crashed her lips on to yours. Her passionate kiss only seems to get rougher as time went on. Your tongue and lips turned numb at the end. Minju is happy with how meek you are, such a perfect boyfriend.
As you two pulled away you saw Yuri is watching you two in a daze. "See? That's how you kiss cutie", Yuri frowned. "I'm not a horny bitch like you" Yuri pouted, "Really? Our boyfriend seems to like it"
She turned to you who's still in a trance. "Oppa", Yuri pouted making you wake up from your daze. "Yuri it's fine", Doesn't convince her. "Here, let me teach you" Before any of you can react, Minju grabbed both of Yuri's cheek before kissing her. Oh boy, it's getting harder and harder, you know what it is.
As they parted you see Minju is smiling at Yuri with a mischievous smile while Yuri was in a trance. "On second thought, your soft kisses are also enjoyable, good job cutie", Minju's hand let go of Yuri and wrapped itself around you. The two of them slowly came to hug you and stay quiet for, an hour?
"It's late already, we should go home", You don't want to go home, but things might escalate if you stay. "Come on, sleep with me, I want to sleep with oppa", Minju tightened her hug on you. "I told mom I'm going to sleep with oppa tonight" Yuri looks conflicted if anything, "So do it here, with me too" Minju said. "How though, I can tell mom I'm sleeping at oppa's place", You opened your phone to check if the coast is clear. "Then, I should ask Noona"
"Who's Noona", Minju squinted her eyes angrily. "My Noona, my older sister", They still have their jealousy trait, that's good to know. "Oh that's fine then", She smiled and turn to cuddling you again. You see your sister already texted you that she's leaving for the night so I can use the house.
"Oh? Should we move to your bedroom then oppa?", Minju whined at Yuri in response. "Here is better, I'm living here alone", Minju said making Yuri raised her eyebrow. "What?" Minju then smiled confidently, "Yep, mom and dad buy me this house for my highschool life", You hear Yuri curse under her breath but you can't make out what."Okay princess, but oppa's house is also empty, and that way I can also show to mom I am sleeping at oppa's place"
"Empty?", Minju turned to you. "Oh yeah, my parents passed away a while ago", She looked at you with concern and guilt. "Oh baby, I'm sorry",Well, a kiss always a good way to cheer someone up.
"We should go out to a date this week"
"Three of us"
"Of course cutie, I won't leave you"
"Let's go to the park again"
"Let's, go to my place, because I'm tired"
The two of them smiled and kissed your cheek. "Let me put on something more covering clothes then", Minju let go of you and skipped away.
"She's such a vixen", You tuned to Yuri who's doesn't seems to be mad."Yuri?", She turned to you, "I don't mind it, but she's too flirty, she might try to take your virginity oppa", This, is going to fast no? "I mean, Minju is a bit more, brazen? But I don't think-", She put her finger on your mouth to shut you down. "She will give you your virginity, and so do I, the question is who will take yours"
Alright, how do you tell them you're not a virgin anymore. "I'm back, let's go", Minju is wearing a baggy sweatpants and jacket. "Right, let's go", Maybe they don't need to know.
The three of you walk back to your house, you slipped Minju in while Yuri tell her mom she's sleeping at my place. "Hmmm, this place, smells just like you", Minju was looking around your bedroom with lusty eyes. "I miss sleeping at your bed again oppa, come on"
Yuri is definitely thinking about something other than sleeping. You lay on your bed with the two girls hugging you. Minju take off her sweatpants and jacket turning back to the previous very open and very thin outfit. Yuri actually changed as she went to her house earlier to a big oversized t-shirt that cover her mini pants.
"Oppa, this bed is so comfy, I can't believe you've been sleeping here with him this whole time"
"Hehehe, childhood friend advantage"
"Ssshhh, let me sleep"
"Yuri, you're thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Yeahhhh, oppa, we want some goodnight kiss"
Minju jumped on you and start making out with you. She pulled your hand in between her crotch and start grinding on it. "That's unfair", You hear Yuri whined.
As you are busy kissing Minju you felt Yuri pulled your hand inside her t-shirt. "Rub it baby", Minju moaned, you comply and starts rubbing her pussy through her pants making her moan.
Your other hand was led to Yuri's bare tits. "Squeeze it oppa", You comply again and made her moan. This continue for sometimes before you felt the wet pants Minju is wearing pushed itself onto your finger.
"I'm coming oppa", She pressed her forehead to your temple as she whispered in your ears. You saw her body quivered for a moment before slumping down. Yuri the jumped to your free mouth and start to get her own kiss. Your hand travel down to her pussy and starts doing the same thing you did with Minju. Your other hand travels up to start massaging Minju's breast.
Just like before Yuri started quivering and pressed her head to your neck. "I'm cumming oppa", She screamed, thankfully your house is empty.
"Oh my god, that was great"
"Yeah, we should repay the favour now"
The two of them look down to your erect cock."So big","So warm" The compliment only made you even hornier.
You felt one of them grabbed it through your clothes making you moan. "You're so hot when you moan oppa", Who said that? "Let's get this out of the way", Who said that too?
Feeling your pants being pulled down your cock got free from it's cage and the cold air washes over it. "Follow me cutie, I'll lead you", Okay that one is Minju.
You felt two sets of hand grabbed your cock, their warmth made your precum leaked."Slowly, go up and down" Minju take the lead as Yuri followed her, "Okay", Fuck the feelings of being jerked by two different hand is something else.
"Are you enjoying this oppa?"
"Yes"
"Yuri focus on your rythm"
The two girl continue their sensual and slow Handjob. Minju then come to whisper in your ears. "Can you cum for us oppa? I promise I'll drink it", Oh fuck, "Oppa, cum please, for me", Yuri followed her and made this whole experience a little too much for you.
"It's squirming"
"That means oppa gonna cum, come on oppa, cum all over our hand"
Can't keep up any ore your sperm shoot out, Minju closed off the tip just in time to make sure it doesn't spray anywhere. Looking down you see Yuri is also doing the same, making their hands covered with your sperm. "So warm"
Yuri whimpered. Minju smiled before licking her hand."Minju?" You hear Yuri's questioning tone, "So sweet, you taste amazing baby", Seeing the ecstasy on Minju's face, Yuri did the same, and start sucking on her own fingers. "Hmmm, it tastes good oppa"
The two of them went down to your cock and started licking it, getting any excess cum off of you. The sensation send your cock back to it's glorious form. "So vigorous, Yuri, follow my lead"
Minju climbed down to get to a more comfortable position, Yuri followed suit. "First, you kiss it", You felt Minju thick lips pressing up against yours. Then Yuri's soft pair of lips pressing up against the other.
"It smells so good"
"I know right? Now you start licking it"
The two started licking around your shaft giving some ungodly feeling.
"Now, watch me first", Yuri moves to the side before Minju started swallowing your cock whole.
"Whoa", Yeah Yuri, whoa, you did not expect Minju to be so good at this. The feeling of her throat massaging your cock while her tongue reached out to lock your shaft and balls is too good.
"Yaaaa, my turn", God damn Yuri looked so cute when she's pouting. Minju let go of her mouth before moving aside. "Now, first you need to try with the tip first Yuri"
Yuri was inexperienced, for like 30 second before she start giving you deep throat as well. "I'm so proud of you Yuri"
Minju get down and start sucking on your balls. Needless to say, as you're still sensitive from the ejaculations from before, you didn't last long.
Minju pulled Yuri up to only have your tip in her mouth while she use both hands to jerk you off. "Come on, cum oppa, cum all over cute Yuri's mouth"
Your hips bucked forward and start spraying your sperm to Yuri's inside. As your ejaculation subsided your cock fell limp to your crotch.
"Open your mouth Yuri, learn how to share", Yuri opened obediently and Minju's tongue slitehered to Yuri's mouth before they kiss. You see Minju's tongue scooping out your sperm into her own mouth occasionally. Then the two parted way, a loud gulping noise can be heard before they let our a satisfied moan.
"Thank you oppa"
"It was nice oppa"
The two gave you a kiss to the cheek before slumping down to your chest.
"Fucking hell, you two are, dangerous", The two giggles before they let out a sigh. Your breath and heartbeat seems to synchronize with them as your consciousness start to slip away.
It's been a long day.
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star-anise · 6 months
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Everyone's got a take, and I've got a take too, about the current Internet Villain: James Somerton, a gay Youtuber who just got exposed (in the back half of a 4-hour video) as massively plagiarizing the work of LGBTQ+ media critics, historians, and memoirists, and then exposed in another 2-hour video as just making up the wildest nonsense about the topics he demonstrably had access to accurate information on.
He achieved a six-figure income on his work by squeezing money out of his audience with claims...
That only he was creating content that preserved queer history and elevated the voices and experiences of the LGBTQ+ community (a lie)
He was in serious financial distress and would have to go out of business if people didn't give him tons of money (a lie)
That he was going to use some of that cash to make definitely good and not-at-all-plagiarized independent movies, a thing he was definitely skilled and experienced enough to do (a lie), and
That those plagiarism allegations were incorrect,, and frankly,,,, hurtful and homophobic. (a GIANT lie)
Like, here's a visualization of the script of one of his videos, "Society and Queer Horror". The highlighted bits were lifted nearly verbatim from the works of others—the 18 authors identified at the time the exposé was posted—and presented as Somerton's own work.
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So here's what drives me absolutely up the wall about this:
If he had just ADMITTED that it was the work of other people, THAT WOULD STILL BE COOL. If he had just said, up front, "We are going on a survey of thoughts and insights people have had about this topic", that would still be a good video with a real audience!
Like yes, he studied business in university, he might not have gotten the kinds of research skills and knowledge someone like Kaz Rowe uses to not just report on the history and analysis of others, but evaluate their relative validity and trustworthiness.
But honestly, since watching my niblings (oldest is 13) watch Youtube, I think you honestly can't underestimate the number of viewers who are really hungry for someone saying, "I don't understand this topic! Let's explore it together!"
But NOOOOOOO, Somerton didn't want to be just some schmuck waxing enthusiastic about homoeroticism on film and acknowledging the smartness of other people. He wanted to be HIM, MR. SMARTYBOY, very sophisticated and alluring and thoughtful and deep. Definitely an intellectual heavyweight who just happened to spout off his own personal ideas and analysis that put him at the forefront of all the scholarship on the topic he's come across.
I hate being wrong. Hate being wrong. But blogging for most of my life has forced me to confront constant textual evidence that two or ten or twenty years ago, I said some dumb-ass shit. Honestly, it'd probably keep me up at night sometimes even if I didn't have a written record. I absolutely understand the desire to scan the field, find the coolest people around, and quickly clothe yourself in as perfect an imitation of them as you can manage.
But if you want to be an artist or a scholar who produces something lasting, you can't prioritize coolness over truth all the time. To develop your true, independent voice, you need to find a time and place where it is just you and just the work you're doing, and you have pick up your tools and say, I don't know if I'm doing this right, but this is what feels right to me.
There are a lot of things in life to which we can only truly contribute our presence and our perspectives. Things we can only witness or hold space for. We cannot go back and bleed the pain out of history, or erase the complexity of another person's life. Not honestly, at least.
But those are the times that need our presence, our perspectives, our witness, and our space. When we gather round and tell sad tales about the death of kings, honesty can be the only thing you give that's worth a damn in the large scale of things.
If this dude had owned up to the truth and honestly showed the work of trying to piece together a queer understanding of the world, trying to draw the threads of culture together until he found a place he fit inside them, it would have been so much more valuable to our culture as a whole.
He probably made more money this way, though. While it lasted.
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fairycheol · 5 months
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Always An Angel
luke castellan x apollo!fem!reader
cw:fluff, kissing, mentions of injury, teeny tiny angst. death/murder
It had been exactly three days since Luke Castellan had seen you, his girlfriend of three years, around camp.
The first day of your “disappearance” he simply chopped it down to you being busy taking care of the camp infirmary.
By the time day two rolled around, he began to worry, and unfortunately for him the Apollo campers were no help. Delivering cryptic responses every-time Luke asked where you were, practically avoiding his question.
He began to panic, did you leave camp with no goodbye?, were you secretly seeing someone else behind his back? His mind was running a hundred miles an hour.
On day three he took it upon himself to set out looking you. Leaving his campers with Clarisse he marched through every part of camp before arriving at the infirmary.
He hadn’t tried approaching the building earlier because Mr.D had placed a “do not enter” sign on the front.
Oh my gods, had Mr.D killed her?!?
Shaking the crazy thought from his head he finally opened the door to take a peak inside expecting to find a dead body on the ground but to his surprise it was something entirely different.
Sleeping on one of the beds was a 7 year old boy and hunched over asleep in a nearby chair was you, bow and arrow held limply in your hands.
Luke crept forward into the room when he stepped onto an extra creaky floorboard. The sound had succeeded in waking you up with a fright.
As a daughter of Apollo, you were gentle but you were also a fighter. Which would explain why Luke’s shirt was now pinned to the door with an arrow.
Now fully conscious you came to the realization that you’d just shot an arrow… at your boyfriend
“Luke!” you hissed at him
“What the hell is wrong with you?! I could’ve seriously hurt you!” Walking across the room you ripped the arrow off the door and placed it back in your quill.
“I-I was just coming to check on you, I haven’t seen you in three days.” Luke gave you the saddest puppy dog eyes imaginable. Gods was it impossible to get mad at him.
“Aw, you were worried about me?” Luke passed on a smile as you grabbed his face in between your hands,
“Wait no, i’m still mad at you for sneaking up on me!” Taking a step back you let out an angry huff, but the facade had melted almost instantly when Luke pulled you in by the waist and gave you one very very long kiss.
“I’m sorry for scaring you I just need to make sure you were okay. Your campers were pulling every excuse out of the book to get away from me.” Luke explained twisting an eyebrow up in mock suspicion. With a sigh you began to run your hands up and down his chest, feeling his heart race faster with every movement you made.
“I was gonna tell you were I was but he” you pointed at the young boy still fast asleep, “would wake up in tears every-time I tried leaving his side. He didn’t wake up this time cause I asked a daughter of Hypnos to help me get him to sleep comfortably.”
That’s right. The young boy laying in the infirmary had arrived three days ago. He was chased up the hill of camp half blood by a vicious three headed hell hound. When he got to camp he was shaken up and bleeding heavily. The only person able to calm him down was you.
“That doesn’t really explain you being cooped up in here with him.” Luke huffed putting his hands on his waist.
“Yeah well, after I got his stitches done and over with he begged me to stay in here. Said he could still feel the monsters chasing him.” You turn to look at him with such a saddened gaze that had him remembering of your arrival at camp and the night terrors you’d faced yourself.
“You know better than anyone Luke… I couldn’t leave him feeling like he was alone.” He knew exactly what you meant, and he couldn’t even be upset about it.
A pair of warm hands reached up to gently get a hold of your face, turning you to face him. He gave a smile that read a thousand praises.
Luke takes your moment of silence to give you one more kiss, the gesture sets off a million butterflies in your stomach.
“How did I get so lucky with someone like you” Luke brushes a strand of hair from your face, taking a moment to admire you.
His Angel in disguise.
the ending was lowkey rushed cause i didn’t know what to write 😭
hope y’all enjoyed it tho 🫶🏻
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yandere-daydreams · 8 months
Text
Title: Gorefest.
Pairing: Yandere!Gojo x Reader (Jujutsu Kaisen).
Word Count: 1.3k.
TW: Gore, Blood, Major Character Death (Reader Is Fine), Implied Kidnapping, Non-Consensual Touching, Prolonged Stalking, and Delusional Behavior.
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You found his latest gift on your doorstep.
It was a heart, this time – deflated but otherwise fully intact, blue viens still visible against pink flesh. A small puddle of blood and other gelatinous viscera surrounded it, but you ignored that in favor of wrapping the disembodied organ in your cardigan and unlocking the door to your apartment, too exhausted to fumble with your keys and too worn down to pretend you still thought you could get away from him on your own. His present was dropped into the ever-bubbling vat of crimson slurry you used to boil down his gifts until they’d been reduced to a less incriminating state, your shoes kicked off and left by the door. You didn’t bother turning on any lights. You were home, but you didn’t want to let yourself acknowledge that until he was gone.
You found Gojo in his usual spot; on the floor of your bedroom, his hands still stained red and one of your threadbare sleepshirts crumpled at his side, the dark material stained with something white and awful. That made two articles of clothing ruined, tonight. A few months ago, when the most he ever brought you was a half-beaten bouquet of roses and a list of questions for the strange man whose favorite place in the world seemed to be your living room, you would’ve been tempted to demand that he pay for the damages. You’d learned better than to imply you wanted anything from him, since then.
He was lying on his side, toying with something large and vaguely circular, his grin that of a cat dropping a slaughtered mouse at its owner’s feet. He was surrounded by more of his ‘presents’ – the disembodied organs of whatever poor criminal or curse user he’d taken it upon himself to dissect. You were glad you’d kept the lights off. You could see the outline of small intestine strung along the walls, assorted gore left in carefully considered piles wherever Gojo deemed it necessary. It’d take hours to clean up, after he left. Demanding that he help would only give him the impression that you wanted to spend time with him, and you weren’t going to make that mistake twice.
You moved to speak, but as always, he just had to be the center of attention. It was like he couldn’t imagine a world where you might’ve done anything but focus on him. “Welcome home,” he half-sung, pushing himself up and pulling his oblong, mishappen keepsake into his lap. “Do you want to start with dinner, or should I run you a hot bath? Or, if you want, you could always have a little of me—”
“Shut the fuck up.” And then, pointing in the general direction of your front door, “Get out.”
“So cold, babe. And after I went through all that trouble to set this up.” The coppery stench was starting to get to you. You could only pray the neighbors wouldn’t notice, or that you’d be able to think of a feasible enough excuse by the time they did. “I got hurt for you, too.” He held up a hand, gesturing towards the faintest, shallowest cut on his cheek. “Aren’t you going to dote on me? You know, like you used to – after you found me in that alley and bandaged my wounds. What was the first thing you said to me? That I was too pretty to bleed to death alone?”
You didn’t encourage him with a response, only crossing your arms over your chest and deepening your scowl. “Get out,” you repeated. “I don’t want you here.”
His grin only broadened. “If you keep saying things like that, I might start to think you’re trying to get me to leave.” Exasperation bled into your agitated expression, and Gojo let out a bark of a laugh. “Look, I know you like to play shy, but I’d really like it if we could use tonight for us. We could watch a movie, or—”
You let out a frustrated groan, dragging your hands over your face. “You know what? Fine. If you want to be here so badly, then stay.” You shut your eyes, standing a little taller. “I’m getting out of here.”
“Running off to spend the night with another man? Ah, what a cold-hearted temptress I’ve fallen for.”
“Oh, I’m going to do more than just spend the night with him.” You really should’ve shut your mouth. You should’ve bitten your tongue, swallowed your pride, refused to tell him anything save for the fact that you weren’t going to stay here any longer. But, the blood in the air was getting to you and you could still feel the cold flesh of the heart against your palm and you needed to get away, and you needed Gojo to know you were never coming back. “I met someone – a sorcerer. He knows you’ve been stalking me, and he offered to help.” You flashed him a grin, almost as awful as his own. “His name is Nanami, and he’s strong enough to keep me safe from people like you.”
You waited for him to laugh, to say he didn’t believe you, or better yet, to get angry, to feel a fraction of the dread and the rage he’d forced onto you. When he didn’t say anything, didn’t scream or yell or gloat, you opened your eyes. He was still staring, but his smile was softer, his eyes half-lidded in a way that could only mean something bad. “Oh, baby,” he started, his voice dripping with faux sympathy. “Whose heart do you think I went through so much trouble to bring you?”
A pebble threatening to slip off of its cliffside; two ends of a torn wire, a hair’s width away from connecting. Whatever he was trying to tell you, you just couldn’t seem to process it. “What?”
“Right. I’m sorry, sweetheart – that’s on me,” Gojo chuckled. “You were always more of a visual learner.”
The object in his lap was taken up and rolled towards you, coming to a teetering stop at your feet, where the residual light from the hall could illuminate it properly. In a daze, you dropped your gaze to it, allowed yourself to recognize blonde hair, razor-sharp cheekbones, and glassy brown eyes staring lifelessly back at you. There was a dark bruise on his jawline, paled by blood loss, and the mangled stump that used to be his neck was encircled by ragged flesh, as if it’d been torn from his shoulders. Despite everything, his mouth was closed, lips still pressed into a thin frown. As if he didn’t have time to so much as scream before Gojo got to him.
You must’ve passed out. One second, you were staring down at the disembodied head of your savior, and the next, you were on the floor, lying limp and breathless as Nanami’s blood formed a puddle underneath you. Gojo was already at your side, hauling you up and against his chest. You felt his arms around you, then plush of your mattress against your back. You were aware, distantly, that he was straddling you, that his mouth was pressing into the dip of your shoulder, then the curve of your throat. “It’s alright,” he muttered, his voice partially muttered by his closeness. “Why don’t you come stay with me for a while, after this? I’ve got a room ready for you back at my place and everything.”
He didn’t wait for an answer. Straightening his back, he let his lips crash into yours – his kiss lingering and deep and filthy. By the time he pulled away, he’d drunk the air from your lungs and frozen the blood in your veins, leaving you as empty and as lifeless as one of his gifts.
You thought, idly, of the heart being reduced to viscera in your kitchen, and wondered if you should’ve held onto it for just a few minutes longer.
“I’ll be able to spoil you properly, once I’ve got you where you’re supposed to be.”
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joelsgreys · 1 year
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to hell and back l one
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader
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series masterlist l main masterlist l next chapter
summary: After escaping a group of brutal slavers, you are left with permanent physical and emotional scars. Unwilling to put your trust in another human being ever again, you spend a year fighting for survival alone in the post outbreak world. But when you choose to save the life of a man named Joel Miller, the wall that you’ve built to protect yourself slowly begins to crumble.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI. canon violence, canon language, brief mentions of slavers, brutality, torture, assault, guns, reader is an archer, mentions of hunting, animal death, injured/unconscious Joel, very minor mentions of blood, age gap (reader is 30, Joel is 56) very brief mention of scars, reader does not/cannot speak at times, a lot of internal dialogue from reader, at one point reader does try to speak to Joel but she is unable. *please be advised that no specific diagnosis is used or will be mentioned, i’m writing the series with the idea that reader herself cannot fully comprehend her inability to speak at times. basically the gist of it is we have a very traumatized person who does not realize just how traumatized she is.
word count: 8.2k (good lord I am so sorry)
a/n: not a whole lot to say except for that this is...different. at least i think it is, i could be wrong lmao. this is by far one of the most challenging things i have ever decided to write, but hopefully it turned out okay
California l Fall, 2023
You’d been on the run since dawn.
It was several hours later now and nightfall was approaching—and it was approaching a hell of a lot fucking faster than you could have even anticipated. The darkness was quickly closing in, falling around you like a velvet black curtain. However, stumbling around blindly in the dark was currently the very least of your worries. 
Your feet were raw, both completely blistered and bleeding through your socks inside of your worn out, muddied white canvas sneakers. Your sore, aching legs screamed out for mercy and your knees trembled violently, threatening to buckle out from underneath the weight of your body at any given moment. 
In the week and a half leading up to your escape from captivity, you’d been deprived of both food and water—it had been your punishment for closing your eyes and turning your head away after you’d been instructed by the slavers to watch their brutal assault of the young teenaged girl that you had been sharing a cage with. She’d been unable to keep up with her work duties, and they had decided to make an example out of her.
Despite still having been forced to witness the horrendous, unspeakable things they’d done to that poor girl, your initial resistance resulted in you being beaten and then starved for several days. Occasionally, one of the late night guards would try and bribe you, offering a small piece of jerky or a couple of stale crackers in exchange for a blowjob. At first, you told him you’d rather cut your own tongue out with a rusty blade than suck his dick, but when he proposed the disgusting, vile trade again just a couple of nights later, you’d accepted it—because him pulling you out of that fucking cage after hours and removing the tight shackles from your wrists when no one else was around would give you the chance to finally make a run for it.
You swung yourself around the nearest redwood tree, slumping back against its thick, wide trunk. You covered your mouth with your two hands in an attempt to silence the sound of your heavy panting. 
Besides being in pain, malnourished and severely dehydrated, the exhaustion was starting to set in too. The adrenaline pumping through your veins had brought you this far, but exactly how much farther could it take you? How much longer could it possibly keep you going before your tired body decided to give up and give out?
Somewhere behind you, you could hear the men calling out cheerfully.
One sang out, “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”
“Come out and plaaaaay,” a second taunted.
The third shouted, “We’re gonna get you!”
Their giddiness made you want to vomit. If your stomach hadn’t been empty, you would have.
Those sick, twisted fucks weren’t letting up. 
They’d been on your heels for hours.
The large group of slavers in California were over two hundred strong and had dozens of prisoners chained up in their human cages—they had more than enough people to force into labor. There was no need for them to waste their time and efforts going after you, but after spending the last eight months witnessing firsthand how these sadistic bastards operated, it occurred to you that their desire to recapture you wasn’t out of a need for labor. It was for their entertainment. 
They were hunting you down for sport.
This was their idea of fun.
“Fuck,” you whispered underneath your breath, your hands falling down to your sides.
Something had to give.
Your legs, your body, your will to live.
Perhaps all of the above.
You couldn’t keep on running for much longer.
And even if you could, where the hell were you supposed to go? How were you supposed to get there?
You had no food, no water, and no weapon.
Just the torn, tattered clothes on your back.
You were defenseless against whatever else was out there and you couldn’t see yourself surviving longer than a couple of days at most.
There was a part of you that wanted to give up and surrender. If you could be absolutely certain that they would shoot you dead on the spot, you would actually consider it and step out from behind the tree—hell, you would happily let them put a bullet between your eyes and put you out of your misery once and for all. But they wouldn’t be so generous. You knew they would have their way with you here in the middle of this forest and only after they were done would they take you back to their settlement where they’d put you right back in shackles so the real torture could begin. Just like that teenaged girl, the slavers would make an example out of you so that nobody else in their right mind would even think about running away. 
They would be sure to make your death as slow and as agonizing as possible.  
No. If you were going to die, then you were going to die. But fucking not like that.
Hearing them draw closer towards where you’d been hiding, you pushed yourself away from the redwood and willed yourself to keep on going.
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Wyoming l Fall 2024
Your eyes softly flutter open.
Bright, early morning sunlight filters in through the ripped, white lace curtains that hang over the small, square shaped window right above your head. 
Blinking the sleep away, you prop yourself up slightly on your elbows and take a glance around at your surroundings. The old, abandoned cabin that you’d stumbled across just a couple of days ago is tiny, cramped, and crumbling. It also reeks—it smells damp, musty, and earthy, like rotting wood. But beggars can’t be choosers and you are certainly in no position to be a chooser right now. It’s not what you consider to be ideal, but it’s four walls and a roof, which is more than anyone can ask for. It’s sparsely furnished with a table and two chairs, an old wood burning stove you had been too afraid to light because you didn’t want to risk setting the place on fire, and there’s even a small, twin sized bed for you to sleep on. Well, perhaps calling it a bed was a tad bit too generous. It’s really just a mattress sitting on four large concrete blocks. It’s rough, dirty, and torn with rusted springs and bits of fluff sticking out from every corner. Still, it sure as fuck beat the hell out of sleeping outside in the dirt and using a rock as a pillow.
Besides the luxury of having something close to a proper roof to sleep under, there’s also a lake just two and a half miles north of the cabin where you had been able to fill your canteen with fresh water. Not to mention, you’d also been able to bathe and wash your clothes for the first time in a couple of weeks. You had been on your own for about a year now, and this was the luckiest you’ve gotten in terms of finding a decent place to stay.
Whether or not it’s safe, it was still too early to tell. 
Sure, you were out somewhere in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and hadn’t seen a single soul, living or dead, in a couple of months now. But that still didn’t mean that running into the infected or other people wasn’t a possibility. Letting your guard down was risky. Too risky. 
You swing your legs over the side of the mattress and sit up, slipping on your pair of warm, wool socks before tugging on your boots—you’d found them over the summer and even though they had been about one size too small for you, you’d managed to break them in since then and the supple brown leather now molds almost perfectly to your feet. You stand up and lift your arms up above your head while simultaneously twisting your stiff, sore back in a painful, but much needed stretch. You’re only just a couple of months shy of turning thirty years old, but lately, your bones snap, crackle and pop with each and every movement, making you feel twice your actual age. 
The thought of it makes you snort in amusement. You should be so lucky to stay alive long enough to see the age of sixty. Hell, you’re still unable to fathom how you’d even made it this close to seeing thirty.
Dropping your arms back down to your sides, you make your way over to your khaki colored pack and pull out your aluminum canteen from one of the side pockets. You twist off the cap and gulp back a long, cool drink of water, hoping to get rid of the dryness in your mouth and the cracks in your chapped lips. As soon as the liquid makes it all the way down to the pit of your stomach, the hollow, muscular organ grumbles loudly, demanding food. You’d had some decent luck while out hunting the previous morning, capturing two wild rabbits—you had eagerly skinned, cleaned and cooked them both, devouring one right after the other so fast that it had nearly made you sick. It had been a pretty decent meal, but not nearly enough to completely satisfy your ravenous hunger. Prior to finding the cabin and settling in, you had been living off of a couple handfuls of nuts and berries for three days while on the move. You were still fucking starving and all you could do was pray that you’d find more rabbits today. 
Maybe you’d get even luckier and spot a pheasant. It was their season, after all. 
You drink some more water and set your canteen aside. You’d planned to return to the lake later in the afternoon to refill it as well as to have another bath. You pull on your faded, black denim jacket over your hoodie and pick up the wooden bow and brown leather quiver of arrows sitting beside your pack. You’d found the weapon in some hunting shop back in Utah that had already been picked clean to the bone over the last couple of decades. However, no one had even bothered with taking the bow. It hadn’t really surprised you, though. In the post outbreak world, a bow and arrow would do absolutely nothing to protect against the infected runners and stalkers—and it would do much less to protect against clickers unless your aim was flawless.
Still, a bow was useful in its own right. 
It was perfect for hunting game. It was silent, keeping you and your location concealed from potential passersby at all times. Most importantly, you could reuse your arrows so long as you were careful and didn’t break them while removing them from your kills—and in the event that you did happen to snap an arrow, all you had to do was salvage what you could from the damaged projectile and make a new one. Simple as that. 
Your father had taught you how before he’d died.
“Why bother with a bow? What about a gun?” you had asked him. 
“Might not always be able to get your hands on a gun,” he’d replied as he sharpened an edge of the small, thumb sized rock in his hand. “Or bullets. It doesn’t hurt to have alternatives in the event that you can’t get your hands on either of those things, kiddo.” Despite being in your mid twenties at the time, he’d still always call you kiddo. “Always have a backup weapon, alright?”
He’d been wise to give you that advice.
You did have a firearm, a colt pistol that you hardly have ammunition for. There were ten rounds left in the clip and with no luck in finding any more in the last couple of months, you’d decided to preserve them, saving what little bullets you had left for a real emergency. You kept the gun tucked into the waistband of your jeans at all times, along with the sharp switchblade that you used to gut and skin game. As far as weapons go, you sure as hell could’ve been a lot worse off. But if you happened to stumble upon more ammunition for your gun, you certainly wouldn’t complain about it. 
Slinging your bow and the quiver of arrows over your shoulder, you grab the dark gray foraging bag that you used to collect and carry your kills in and leave the cabin, feeling somewhat confident enough to leave the remainder of your belongings behind instead of hauling them all along with you like you had the morning before. It wasn’t that you feared someone would come along and steal them. There wasn’t really anything for anyone to steal, anyway. Rather, you’d gotten so damn used to the instability and the constant moving around—you never stayed in one place for too long and were always prepared to run. But today, you decide to leave your things in the cabin, feeling certain that you would return in just a couple of hours. 
You step out onto the creaking, three step porch that’s so old it buckles slightly under your weight and a gentle breeze nips at your cheeks and nose. It’s the middle of autumn in Wyoming and the air outside is fresh, cool and crisp. Winter was looming right around the corner like a dark shadow, and although you’d somehow managed to make it through the previous year’s brutal snow season, that didn’t do much to stop you from being nervous about the one that was to come. If all went according to your plan, you’d be holing yourself up in that shoddy little cabin until the worst of winter was over and then you would move along.
To where?
You didn’t have the slightest fucking clue. 
You make a short trek about two miles south, going in the opposite direction of the lake and finding yourself closer to the thick forest trees that surrounded the base of the mountain range out in the distance instead. There’s a dried, grassy clearing just feet from the entrance of the forest—finding a single, decently sized boulder in the middle of the wide, open space, you decide that behind it is the perfect spot for you to set up and hope for the best. Carefully setting your things down on the ground, you pull out a pair of old, cracked binoculars from your bag. You lean your body over the smooth, round top of the rock and lift them up to your face, peeking through the lenses. You hope to spot something right away because it sure would be fucking nice to eat something sooner rather than later. Otherwise you might just start gnawing at your own arm. 
Diligently, you scan your surroundings for any and all signs of wildlife. 
That’s when you see it, standing near the edge of the woods.
You gasp softly as your sights fall upon the deer. 
Pulling your face away from your binoculars, you blink furiously before taking another look just to be sure that your eyes hadn’t been playing tricks on you. It’s not a hallucination. It’s a white tailed deer, a female, and from the look of her, she has to be at least about a hundred pounds. At least.
You try to not get too far ahead of yourself, but it’s far too late. The thought of finding some herbs and making a hot, venison stew for supper makes your mouth water. The rest of the meat could be dried out and made into a batch of jerky that could feed you for months. Months.
Then, you suddenly remember you’ve never even attempted to bring down an animal of that size before and you’re slapped back into reality.
You think about your father, who would bring home a deer every weekend after going on his hunting trips with some of his old college buddies. “You want to aim for the heart or the lungs,” he’d say as you and your siblings would watch him dress the carcass, much to your mother’s chagrin. “Look between the shoulder blade and the last rib,” he would tell you and your brothers. You’d also had an older sister, but she had always been incredibly squeamish and had a soul that was much too sweet and caring for hunting. She would always want to bring home every animal your father shot and nurse it back to health. “Somewhere between those two lies everything you need to hit in order to do the job and do it well. And for the love of god, don’t you ever aim directly for the shoulder. Behind it, kiddos, always aim behind it. You got it?”
“Yes Papa,” you’d all chime out together.
Setting down the binoculars in your hands, you reach for your bow and pluck an arrow from your quiver before stepping out from behind the boulder. You’re careful to be as silent as possible as you take a few steps closer towards the unsuspecting grazing animal. You position yourself and stand perpendicular to the deer, placing your feet shoulder width apart—you’re a little farther from your target than you would have preferred, but you don’t want to risk going any closer and scaring her off, so it would have to do. Once you feel comfortable enough with your stance, you nock the arrow and set it on the string. You then hold the string and steady your grip on the bow, relaxing your shoulders before drawing it and pulling your arm back until you’ve reached your anchor point, which is always the corner of your mouth. 
Breathe, you remind yourself calmly as you aim at the delicate spot behind her shoulder blade. Nice and slow. Breathe.
Just as you’re about to release the arrow and take your shot, the deer whips her head back towards the trees and her ears prick forward—a split second later, she darts off, zooming across the field in the opposite direction of where you’d been standing. 
Your mouth falls open in disbelief. 
“Are you fucking shitting me?” you mutter under your breath.
Frustrated, you lower your weapon and just as you start to contemplate whether or not it’s even worth it to try and hunt her down on foot, you suddenly hear something—it isn’t until the noise draws closer to where you’re standing that you realize it’s the sound of a galloping horse.
Perplexed, you squint over in the direction of where you think it’s coming from, right near the edge of the trees. Then, just a moment later, a brown stallion emerges from the woods with a dark haired man riding in his saddle. He holds a rifle in one hand and clutches the reins tightly in the other. 
Gasping, you whirl around on the heel of your boot and immediately make a beeline back to the boulder. You swing around the rock and crouch down, ducking out of his sight. You couldn’t be too sure if he’d seen you or not, but it doesn’t matter—a wave of sheer panic washes over you and you can physically feel your own body preparing itself to go into fight or flight mode. Despite having your gun tucked into the waistband of your jeans, you still haven’t reached for it and continue to clutch your bow and arrow in your hands instead. 
Swallowing dryly, you turn and carefully lift yourself up just enough so that you can glimpse over the top of the boulder. That’s when you see a second man emerge from the woods. This one is blond and he is on foot instead of a horse. He’s also armed, carrying a shotgun. 
“You’re mine you fucking son of a bitch!” he shouts. He lifts his weapon, aims, and then squeezes the trigger, shooting the horse in the side and bringing him down instantly. His rider goes flying off and he hits the ground several feet away from the dead animal, landing so painfully hard that even from a distance you’d manage to hear the loud, cracking sound his body had made upon impact.
You momentarily freeze. 
Your heart anxiously jumps up into your throat as you watch the shooter begin to approach him. The attacker moves slowly and with no haste seeing as his helpless victim is lying there motionless on the ground with his eyes closed and no idea that he’s about to die. The blond man comes to a halt just a few feet away from him, grinning as he lifts his shotgun once again and points the barrel of it at the other man’s head. His index finger hovers over the trigger. 
Before your mind and body can even make the connection, you rise to your feet and aim your bow, swiftly sending an arrow straight through the blond man’s neck. He crumples, falling to the ground writhing and squirming as he bleeds out in less than sixty seconds.
You wait it out for another minute, refusing to move another muscle until his body finally goes limp and you are certain he’s dead. Taking a look around, you make sure the coast is clear and grab your belongings, slinging them over your shoulder before you make your way over to the scene. Unsure of whether or not there could be others heading in this direction, your plan was to pick off their guns and any other useful supplies before making a run for it back to the cabin. You crouch down beside the man you’d shot and killed, carefully pulling your arrow out of his neck. It makes a loud, horrid squelching sound as you remove it and blood from his jugular splatters your blue jeans. You then pick up his shotgun and check the chamber for ammunition. 
Just like the pistol tucked away in your waistband, there’s hardly any rounds left, making it all but useless. Rolling your eyes, you carelessly drop the gun on top of his chest and move on in search of the rifle. You spot it right beside the dark haired man.
Apprehensive, you cautiously make your way over towards him. With how still he had been lying, you could have sworn he was gone—perhaps the fall off of his horse alone had killed him. But just to be sure, you decide to give his side a harsh nudge with the toe of your boot. 
He groans and his head rolls to the side.
He’s still alive.
You effortlessly string the bloodied arrow in your hand and aim it right at his chest.
Move again and you’re dead, motherfucker.
“Ellie,” the man mumbles, his eyes still closed.
Ellie?
You slowly lower your bow.
Without realizing it, a little bit of your guard lowers along with it. 
Carefully, you sink down onto one knee next to the man and get a better look at him. He’s much older than yourself, somewhere in his fifties if you had to guess. He has harsh forehead lines, deep creases in between his eyebrows, a patchy beard that is speckled with many, many grays, and wild waves of thick hair that look soft to the touch. Though some of his features are a little worse for wear due to his age, he’s still quite a handsome man from what you can see. He also appears to be in decent shape, clean and well fed, and you detect the light scent of laundry soap on his clothes. Surely, he had to have been part of some kind of group, and judging by the leather trimmed saddle on his horse, this group was one that was very well off in this post outbreak world. 
You hesitate, but then lift a slightly trembling hand and take the side of his face, cupping it in your palm as you turn his head towards you. 
There’s blood on his right temple and your fingers reach up to touch what you had assumed was the source of the bleeding—but then you realize it was a scar, maybe an inch or two in length at most and completely healed. Your fingers trail up even further and venture into his hair which, as it turned out, is in fact just as soft as one would imagine. You find a small gash on his scalp and your fingers become coated in the man’s blood.
Must’ve hit himself on a rock or something.
Your hand leaves his hair and you place it on his broad chest as you begin checking him over for any other potential injuries or wounds. Slipping your opposite hand inside of his brown jacket, you lift the hem of the dark green thermal henley he’s wearing and you discover the scar on his temple isn’t the only one he possesses—he has several more, way too many for you to count on one hand alone. You’re so preoccupied with inspecting the remainder of his abdomen that you don’t even notice the way one of his hands is slowly reaching for yours, the hand that’s still resting on his chest, right over his heartbeat.
Semiconscious, the man takes your hand in his so damn gently that it startles you and takes you by surprise, but it doesn’t frighten you. Weakly, he laces his fingers together with your own and he speaks again, uttering softly, “Babygirl.”
Puzzled, your eyebrows knit together.
It almost sounds like he’s pleading.
For what—for who? For Ellie?
Is she the babygirl he’s referring to?
Your other hand moves up to his shoulder and you give it a violent shake. 
Hey, you’ve got to get up now.
“H—” You try to speak the words, but can’t. They’re formed in your mind and it feels like they are right there on the very tip of your tongue, but when you open your mouth, they refuse to come out. You frown.
It’s happened before. 
In the spring, you’d stumbled across a small group of people while out hunting in Idaho—it was the first time you had seen other human beings since leaving California in the fall. There had been both men and women and they even had children with them, but that did nothing to stop you from panicking when they’d approached you. One of the women cornered you, trying to tell you that they were traveling across the country to the east coast. “It’s okay,” she’d tried to tell you, holding up her hands. “We’re not bad people, I promise. We’re just trying to get to the quarantine zone in Boston. I think you should come with us, honey.”
You’d been so terrified that when you’d tried to tell her that you didn’t want to join them, you couldn’t push the words out. It felt like your voice had gotten stuck in the back of your throat. That’s how afraid you’d been.
Technically, you can speak.
You’d talk to yourself often when you were feeling lonely. You would read the books you carried in your pack out loud. Hell, you even liked to sing.
But whenever you became stressed, anxious, or scared, it would happen. You’d lose your ability to speak and to communicate—not that you had anyone to communicate with except for yourself, but that’s besides the point. No matter how hard you tried to force your vocal cords, all you could get out were quiet, strangled noises. It was as if your own fears chased your voice away and during periods when you were under extreme distress, it would take several days for you to find it again. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that, whenever you used your voice back in California, it only led to the harshest of punishments. 
A gunshot sounds off in the distance, snapping you out of your train of thought.
You shake the man again, harder this time.
Come on, get up! They could be coming this way!
It’s useless. He’s losing complete consciousness. 
You hear another gunshot and this one sounds like it’s coming from the base of the mountain range on the other side of the trees, not all too far from where you are. For all you know, it could very well be members of his own group who are firing those weapons out there. But whether it was his group or the other man’s group, it doesn’t really fucking matter. You don’t want to run into either one of them, regardless of who were the good guys and who were the bad guys. In your eyes, everyone’s a fucking bad guy. 
Yanking your hand out of his, you get to your feet and prepare to make a run for it. But just as you’re about to take off, the man mumbles one last time. It’s incoherent and barely audible, but you manage to catch that name again. Ellie. 
Ellie, Ellie, Ellie.
For some reason you can’t quite explain, that sweet little name bounces around in the inside of your skull. 
You chew the inside of your cheek anxiously. 
If it’s his group out there, they’ll save him.
If it’s the other man’s group, they’ll kill him.
Normally, you’d have no problem with the idea of leaving another person to die.
After everything that happened in California, you had lost your sense of humanity. Your ability to empathize and actually give a shit about other people had been long gone—or so you’d thought. But you had just saved this man’s life and now you find yourself unwilling to run the risk of leaving him for dead. And you don’t have the slightest fucking clue as to why. He’s a stranger. He shouldn’t matter to you. 
You exhale a heavy sigh of defeat.
Okay, how the fuck do I do this?
Without much time left to waste, you gather up your belongings over your shoulder and pick up his rifle, slinging the brown leather strap across your chest so the gun rests comfortably against your backside. You walk around him, lean over, and hook your arms securely underneath his. Using every ounce of physical strength you have inside of you, you start dragging him back to the cabin as fast as you possibly can.
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The pretty melody fills his ears as he comes to.
“Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
there’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby…”
Joel Miller isn’t all too sure if heaven is a real place that actually exists, but the very minute he hears the feminine voice singing, he can’t help but think he’s died and that’s exactly where he’s gone—because only an angel could possibly have a voice like that. So rich, so smooth, and oh so sickeningly sweet.
“Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue...”
The ballad being sung is all too familiar to him.
The Wizard of Oz had been Sarah’s favorite movie back when she had been a little girl, when she was seven years old and she still believed in princesses and fairy tales and faraway lands with yellow brick roads. Even when she grew older, his daughter continued to hold a soft spot for the film and Joel would watch it with her every Thanksgiving at his parents’ house right after their dinner—it would air on cable and Sarah would beg him to let her have her slice of pecan pie while sitting cross legged on the floor in front of his old man’s television set.
“So long as you don’t make a mess on Nana and PopPop’s carpet,” he’d warn her. “Deal?”
Sarah would beam at him and nod eagerly. “Deal!”
He’d grab his own slice of pie, park it right on the couch behind her, and together they would get lost in the whimsical world of Oz, although admittedly he’d usually fall deep into his food coma long before Dorothy had the chance to make it back home to Kansas.  
“Where troubles melt like lemon drops
away above the chimney tops 
that’s where you’ll find me...”
The words fade and the rest of the song is now being hummed.
Goddamn, he thinks.Even the humming is too fucking beautiful.
Joel feels a cold, damp cloth dabbing at his sore right temple.
Come to think of it, everything is fucking sore. 
Once, when Joel had been in his mid twenties, he had been doing some under the table roofing job with his younger brother, Tommy. It had been the hottest day of the summer in Texas, and the two of them thought having a couple cold beers with their lunch to cool off would be a good idea. The pair of them went back to work and started fucking around, goofing off like the drunk idiots they were. While horsing around, Joel accidentally stumbled right over the edge of the roof and he had fallen about fifteen feet to the ground, landing on his back on Mrs. Adler’s lawn. Luckily, he’d been okay after the fall and hadn’t sustained any serious injuries or broken any bones, but he had spent the following three to four weeks feeling like he’d been hit by a fucking Greyhound.
That’s how he felt now.
Like he’d been hit by a fucking bus. Twice. There isn’t a single part of him that isn’t pulsating with pain—his back, his shoulders, and his head. Oh god, his head feels the worst. It’s fucking killing him. 
Joel’s eyelids twitch and he cracks them open ever so slightly, just enough that he can see the silhouette of another person hovering over him. He feels a hand at the crown of his head as the other continues to dab at his temple with the cool cloth. It feels incredible against his warm skin and even sort of soothes the pain.
He lets out a small groan and the humming ceases.
Finally, he manages to force his eyes open.
Joel hears a little gasp and the bed he’s lying on squeaks and shifts. He then hears a loud thumping sound as if something, or someone had fallen to the floor. 
Although he’s still disoriented and his entire body aches with even the slightest movement, Joel manages to push himself up into a sitting position. Blinking rapidly, his blurred vision steadies itself after a minute and he glances around. He’s in a small, single room wooden cabin that has seen better days in its lifetime. Looking down, he sees that he’s lying on a bare, worn out mattress with his own jacket draped over him like a blanket. He racks his mildly concussed brain, trying to recollect what had happened—it takes him a minute, but one by one, the memories start flooding back to him. Joel had been leading mid morning patrol with Tommy when they had been ambushed by a large group of hostile raiders. He remembers shouting at his brother, telling him that he’d try and lead some of them off, away from the direction of their community. He’d succeeded and managed to pick off a few of the bastards that had been tailing him with his rifle, all except for one. The very last thing that he remembered was the sound of a gunshot behind him before his horse went down and he’d been thrown off and knocked out.
Everything after that was nothing but a blur.
Joel takes another look around the cabin and that’s when he sees you.
You’re on the floor, backed up against the wall near the foot of the mattress. Your eyes are wide and round, like a deer caught in the headlights. Your chest heaves, rising and falling rapidly—you remind him of a helpless, frightened animal that had been cornered by a vicious predator. You clutch the handle of a switchblade up against your chest with the blade pointing downwards, holding it so tightly in your hand that Joel can see the skin stretching tightly over your knuckles. 
“Who the hell are you?” He grimaces slightly, his own voice causing his head to throb. 
You don’t reply.
Joel moves onto his next question. “Where am I?”
Again, no response.
He tries again. “Are you alone?”
Silence. 
Joel takes a better look at you.
You’re young. You couldn’t have been older than your late twenties, perhaps even your early thirties although that might have been a bit of a stretch. You had that look about you, one that had become all but too familiar to him in the last two decades—the exhausted appearance of someone trying to survive in the post outbreak world. Your face is tired and worn, but somehow still soft and youthful at the same time. You might have looked a little rough around the edges, but you’re still the prettiest goddamn thing he’s seen in a long, long time. 
Joel speaks again. “Who are you? Where the hell are we?” When he’s met with complete silence for the fourth time, he raises an eyebrow, feeling annoyed. “You gonna fuckin’ say somethin’ or what?”
You can only stare at him, your fingers wrapped around the handle of your knife in a vice-like grip.
Joel frowns.
Are you really that fucking terrified of him?
Or perhaps you can’t hear?
Only one way to find out, he thinks to himself.
He raises his voice, asking once again, “Who are you? Where are we?”
You wince, your features twisting in discomfort.
Oh, you could fucking hear him, alright. 
Joel swings his legs over the side of the mattress, his movement causing you to shrink back further against the wall, almost as if you were trying to become a part of the old, rotted wood. He holds up his two hands, demonstrating that he has no plans to move another muscle towards you. “How long have I been out?”
He tries to show some patience and gives you a minute, gives you a chance to respond, but when you say nothing, he can’t help but sigh out in frustration. Just when he’s about to force himself to come to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t be getting any kind of answers out of you, you lift your free hand and hold up three trembling fingers. 
His stomach sinks. “Three days? I’ve been out for three fuckin’ days?”
You give him a nod so tiny and so subtle that he would’ve missed it had he blinked.
“Fuck,” Joel curses, hanging his head. He begins to spiral.
What happened to Tommy? And the others? 
Did they make it out alive?
And then Ellie’s face flashes in his mind, causing the blood in his veins to run ice cold. 
What could she possibly be thinking right now after he’d been missing for three whole days? Who was taking care of her and looking after her while he wasn’t there?
He needed to get back to Jackson—he needed to get back to Ellie.
He wasn’t sure how he would be able to do that if you didn’t start talking soon and answering his goddamn questions.
Lifting his head, Joel looks over at you again. 
“You all by yourself?”
You hesitate, but then nod in reply. Yes.
Joel sighs, his tense shoulders relaxing. That’s a start. “Listen, I’m gonna need a little help here, alright? I don’t remember much ‘bout what happened. I’m part of a community. I was out on patrol with my group when we were attacked by raiders. There were too many of them and I tried to lead some of them away,” he explains. He might not have known what had happened after he’d been thrown off of his horse, but the fact that he’s in your cabin and he’s alive help him piece at least one part of the puzzle together. “Wait a minute. Did you—did you save me out there?”
Sucking in your bottom lip, you nod again.
Stunned, Joel’s eyebrows raise up towards his hairline. “You fuckin’ serious?” he can’t help but question in complete and utter disbelief. Skeptically, he presses, “But how? What happened out there? How did you get me here all by yourself?” His queries spill from his lips one after the other despite knowing most of them, if not all of them, would go unanswered.
You look overwhelmed by them—by him.
Figuring it’s best to take it one slow step at a time, Joel stands up and he cautiously walks over towards you. He holds out his hand. “S’alright,” he assures you in the most gentle voice he can muster. “I ain’t gonna hurt you.”
You refuse to loosen your grip on your knife, but you accept his hand and allow him to help you up to your feet. Given that you didn’t lodge the blade straight through his chest, Joel would say some progress had been made. 
He releases your hand and takes a step backwards to give you your space. He isn’t too sure if you can’t talk or simply don’t want to talk—still thinking you’d been the woman he’d heard singing when he had drifted back into consciousness, he guesses it’s probably the latter. 
Joel tries to think of questions he knows you’ll be able to answer without having to speak. 
“How long have you been by yourself?”
Shifting anxiously from one foot to the other, you hold up one finger. 
“Sorry darlin’ but that don’t really help me much,” he mutters, shaking his head. “Are we talkin’ one week? One month?”
You make a gesture with your hand. Keep going.
“One year?” He doesn’t bother hiding his blatant skepticism. “You’ve been completely alone for one whole year?”
You point at him. That’s right. 
Joel is beside himself. He’s almost in awe over the fact that you’ve survived on your own for so fucking long.
“You got any other weapons besides that knife?”
You nod over towards a bow and sheath of arrows next to your backpack.
“You’re kiddin’ me. That’s all you’ve got?”
You narrow your eyes at him.
Hey, it’s a good weapon and it saved your fucking life, thank you very much.
“Sorry. Just can’t imagine that thing would do much against a clicker. ‘Specially if your aim is shit,” Joel muses. He notices the offended expression on your face and quickly moves on. “You don’t have a gun at all?”
You reach behind yourself and pull out a colt pistol from the waistband of your jeans. You finally set down your knife and then show him that you’re low on ammunition and don’t have any more. Tucking the gun back into your jeans, you step around him and walk over to a corner where his rifle is propped up against the wall. You pick it up, make your way back over to him and hand it over. 
I believe this belongs to you.
“Thank you,” he utters quietly, taking it from you. “And I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the gun, either. I honestly don’t think I’d be standin’ here alive if you hadn’t done whatever it was you did out there.” His eyes try meeting yours. “I’m serious, darlin’. I owe you one. I really fuckin’ do.”
You shrug, too timid to meet his gaze.
“I’m Joel,” he says after a minute, setting his rifle down. “What’s your name?”
You simply stare at him.
“Oh that’s right,” Joel mumbles sheepishly. “You can’t—” He stops himself, but he’s sure you know what he’d meant to say.
You can’t talk.
“You got a pencil or somethin’ to write with?”
You snort and roll your eyes at him. No, sorry. Silly me totally forgot to pick up a pack of pencils while I was out scavenging for supplies the other day.
Joel chuckles and holds up his hands in defense. “Figured it was at least worth askin’,” he says. “It’d be kinda nice to know the name of the person who saved my fuckin’ ass, you know.” He clocks the way the corners of your mouth threaten to turn upwards into a tiny smile at his remark. “How ‘bout a map? You got one of those so you can show me where we are?”
You hold up a finger, as if telling him to give you a minute. Digging into one of the front pockets of your pack, you pull out a large map of the state of Wyoming. It’s severely creased, as if you’ve folded and unfolded it hundreds of times. You hand it over to him and as he holds it out for you, you point to your current location. 
“Jackson’s ‘bout fifteen miles south from here,” Joel murmurs as he scans the map. Suddenly, his dark brown eyes flicker over your wrist—the long sleeve of your thin gray shirt had hiked up, exposing severe discoloration and scarring that went all the way around, marking your skin. 
Noticing where his gaze had wandered off to, you quickly retract your hand away from the map and tug your sleeve down back into place. But it’d been much too late. He had seen the mark, clear as fucking day. 
Joel awkwardly clears his throat and for the sake of not causing you any discomfort, he pretends he hadn’t seen a goddamn thing. He turns his attention back to the map. “Remember how I told you I’m a part of a community? It’s in Jackson and it ain’t all too far from here,” he states, peering up at you from over the top of the map. “The town’s gated and it’s secure. You’ll be safe there. If we head out right now, we can make it there by nightfall—”
You back away from him, shaking your head.
I’m not going with you.
He cocks an eyebrow at you. “Look darlin’, I don’t mean to offend, but you ain’t gonna last a whole lot longer out here on your own, especially not in a place like this with winter right around the corner. If you don’t starve to death, then you’ll fuckin’ freeze to death.”
You glare at him and lift your chin.
I’ve been doing just fine on my own, thanks. 
Having read your mind, Joel sighs. “Alright, fair enough. You’ve gotten this far by yourself, but that don’t mean you gotta turn down an offer for some help. Just come with me to Jackson—”
You shake your head even harder.
The last time that you had agreed to go back with a stranger to their camp, you’d been imprisoned. Tortured. 
Joel observes you, and it doesn’t take him very long to connect the dots between the scars around your wrists and your refusal to leave with him. His hard, stony face softens. “Listen sweetheart, I ain’t all too sure ‘bout what’s happened to you,” he says, choosing his words carefully. “But I can assure you that you ain’t gotta worry ‘bout a thing this time around. Just come with me and I’ll prove it to you.”
You toss him a skeptical look.
“Jackson is a safe place,” he swears. “My brother runs it along with his wife and a small council. There’s families, lots of children—hell I’ve got a kid myself. Teenager. Her name is Ellie and she’s fifteen years old.”
Your lips part slightly and your eyes glimmer with something that looks a lot like recognition, though Joel can’t be too sure what had prompted it. Perhaps you’d known someone with that name once in your life. 
“There’s plenty of food, running water, electricity,” he lists off in an attempt to sway you. “It’d be a shot at a normal life. Wouldn’t you like that?”
Crossing your arms, you lift your chin again.
You’d heard that before.
Why the hell should I even trust you? Why should I trust this place is what you say it is?
Joel bites back another frustrated sigh. 
Normally, he wouldn’t bother to put up with such stubbornness. He wasn’t one to plead or beg and part of him almost wanted to give up so he could be on his way, but you had saved him from being killed. He owed you his fucking life. He had to get you to go with him. He wouldn’t give up until you agreed to go to Jackson with him. 
“I’ll let you carry your weapons,” he offers as a compromise. “Hell, you can even walk behind me with your gun pointed at the back of my fuckin’ head if that’s gonna make you feel safest.”
You squint at him. Really?
“Or that bow of yours,” he adds, chuckling softly. “It’s your pick, darlin’. Whatever’s gonna make you feel comfortable. I’ll trust you not to shoot an arrow through the back of my skull—all I ask in return is that you at least make an attempt to trust me too. I think that’s a fair enough deal. Don’t you?”
You bite your bottom lip. 
I don’t know about this.
“I really don’t wanna leave you out here all alone,” Joel says, taking a step closer towards you. He finds himself feeling surprised that it hadn’t startled you and he only hopes that means that, to some degree, you trust him already. “Please. You saved my life—and I know you probably don’t need me savin’ yours, but at least let me take you to Jackson so you can see for yourself what we’ve got goin’ on there. If you don’t like it and you don’t wanna stay, then we’ll load up your pack with food and supplies. We’ll put you on a horse and you can be on your way. You can choose to leave and no one will lift a finger to stop you, I’ll make sure of it. How does that sound?”
He waits, giving you a chance to think it over.
Finally, after a minute, you sigh and reluctantly nodd your head. 
Okay. I’m gonna try and trust you.
“Good,” Joel says, softly. “Now get your stuff and let’s head out before we start losin’ daylight.” 
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↪ DANIEL 12:1 ─ chapter two.
AN IN NOMINE PATRIS, ET FILII, ET SPIRITUS SANCTI INSTALLMENT
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pairing: hotch x fem!consultant!reader. summary: murders committed using catholic symbology gets emily to convince hotch it's time to ask for an expert. luckily for you, you're the expert. content warnings: canon typical violence. religious themes. spoilers to season 4. mature themes. mentions of throwing up. word count: 1.2K
      At that time Michael, the great prince who protects your people, will arise. There will be a time of distress such as has not happened from the beginning of nations until then. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered.
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      He didn’t reply to your question, how could he? What type of person asks another if they believe in God after an hour of meeting each other? How could he answer a question he himself wasn’t sure if there was an answer to?
      Did he believe in God? What god? His mother’s, the one who allowed her to drink her feelings and spit it out in form of insults and violence towards her family? The one that allowed his father to die of cancer? The one that didn’t do anything to stop the sick men and women Hotch had to catch every week?
      He shakes his head, trying to get his thoughts back to the case presented now in the board of the DC precinct but his eyes land on you, the way your foot shakes, up and now, your legs crossed, your fingers tapping the table quickly and with a rhythm of their own, your bottom lip would bleed out if you kept chewing on them, but what he noticed most were your eyes, wide and focused on the board with all the pictures from the crimes, even the ones Emily hadn’t sent you.
      This was the reason bringing outside people was not a good idea. Not everyone is prepared to deal with death, horrific deaths at that, the way the BAU members were. You clearly weren’t. He might’ve asked you how you were once more, but as quick as he thought about it, you two weren’t alone anymore as the lead detective and Emily came into the room.
      “They were drugged but could feel everything.” The words ring inside your ears, loud and repetitive like a beating heart. Your heart. Your mouth waters in a way you know too well and you feel your palms clamming.
      You’re going to be sick.
      You give the room half a smile and a nod, quietly excusing yourself from the others while making the effort not to make a scene, but you’re barely able to see where you’re going as you try to reach the bathroom.
      Something tells you you’ve done a good job at being discreet, even if you weren’t able to conceal the awful sounds coming from your throat, the light breakfast you had suddenly not seeming very light. It’s probably the fact no one knows you, or maybe because everyone else is busy trying to solve a goddamn murder case.
      The thoughts in your head were quickly brushed over when you heard someone clear their throat, a light knock on the door of the stall you were kneeling at. Your body reacts fast, holding the door with your palms even though it was locked.
      “Sorry, occupied.” Your voice in rough from putting it through too much, but you stay polite regardless.
      “Are you alright?” There is genuine concern in his, it keeps any shame from creeping up on you.
      “Mr. Hotchner! I’m okay… I ate something bad, it’s alright.” The lie comes without a second thought, but it’s obvious he doesn’t buy it. You get up quickly, opening the door as an attempt to leave the situation behind along with the contents you just flushed down.
      “No one expects you to react to these like we do.” His eyes are piecing and you swallow dry, nodding in understanding and thankfulness, but unable to say much else. “I will leave you to it, we are going through the files again, if you need anything, you can text me.” Hotch hands you his card, realizing you don’t really have his number and stands to his word, leaving you alone.
      Truthfully, he’s not sure what made him follow you to the bathrooms, possibly the fact Emily didn’t seem to notice the way your lips had gotten devoid of color or maybe it was just in his nature to care for others, fascinating alike you or not.
      It doesn’t take you too long to go back to the conference room the team was set, only some minutes to wash your mouth and your face, a few deep breaths to control your heart rate.
      “So the motive isn’t religious?” You hear a police officer ask as soon as you get back.
      “It has religious elements but the message doesn’t seem religious.” You smile to yourself as Emily speaks, fascinated by her quickness to get into work mode, to get into the mind of who was doing all of that.
      “It‘s about punishment.” Hotch repeats your earlier insight, it makes you feel useful, and smart. You knew you were intelligent, brightly so, but having something you said be important in something so big as an investigation was… Different.
      “And how is that not religious?”
      “Punishment coming from a religious motive would probably include whipping and at the most extreme, burning. The use of the cross pose seems purposeful, it is a punishment, a shameful one, but also, there’s some… Status to it, because it was how Jesus was killed.” You can be heard by everyone, but your focus is again on the pictures, your finger quietly drawing invisible crosses along the table. “I guess it can be another way to allude to Catholicism, like Saint Michael, they are the religion with the biggest attachment to the image of Christ in the cross. But then again, it doesn’t have any other aspect of Christ’s crucifixion.”
      No one has the time to reply to your rambling, a loud ringtone interrupting the brainstorming, Hotch answers, promptly putting the call on speaker.
      “The widow was no help, she is shaken up and has no idea who would want to kill her husband.” Derek sounds defeated, “And Hotch, he wasn‘t religious.”
      “Mrs. Beckett said she tried to bring him to mass countless times during their marriage but he always vehemently refused to.” Spencer’s voice is higher in pitch but he sounds intrigued, deep in thought.
      “Alright, come back to the precinct, we are waiting for Rossi and JJ and beginning to create a geographical profile.”
      Your puzzled look doesn’t last long, as the team present begins pinning on a map the victim’s homes and where they were found.
      “No churches near the warehouses, but two near Monica Dawson’s place.” Emily comments first looking at the red pins.
      The phone rings again and you wonder if they don’t get headaches from that sound coming out of nowhere all day, but the sweetest and most cheerful voice you ever heard comes on speaker, Garcia, and you smile involuntarily.
      “Garcia, any leads?”
      “You know I do, my darling sweet boss—”
      “Don’t call me that.”
      “Fine, sweet sir, both warehouses are pretty much truly abandoned, but I sniffed around, and by that I mean I went far far back and found some documents I maybe shouldn’t be sniffing around—”
      “Garcia.” You hold in a laugh at the interaction and the supposedly threatening tone Hotch was using.
      “Both were used for military training, like… SEAL type of military.”
      There is a bit of an awkward silence before Hotch thanks and dismisses her, with the mission to find records of everyone who were apart of those trainings.
      “If we’re dealing with a Navy SEAL…” Emily’s voice is a whisper you’ve never heard before.
      “Things might get ugly. We need to be fast.” Hotch’s shows more confidence, but he is worried and as you realize seconds later when an officer barges in, he has every reason to.
      “There’s been another one.”
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sansaorgana · 3 months
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Can you do a buck x reader where she’s a nurse and takes care of everyone at the 100 and they all think she’s just perfect and a mother figure while all the soldiers are away from that mother figure and one day she like snaps when having to deal with screaming soldiers and she goes up to one the higher power guys and like cussing them out for constant sending the men into a death trap and her having to pick up the pieces and buck has to hold her back while she’s just screaming at the other guy and everyone else is like 🧍
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hello, thank you for your request! 🧡 I've just realised that none of my previous Readers in the stories with Buck were nurses lol 😷 most likely because I can't even imagine myself as a nurse and writing about all these things is enough to make me feel sick 🤣 but because of this, it was easy to write this story where the Reader is at her breaking point lol proceed with caution because there are ugly descriptions of blood, needles, death etc.
also this gif asdfghjkl I swear, in the story he has more compassion towards the Reader 🤣🤣🤣
my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗
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You thought you could do it. When the war had started, you hadn’t thought twice as you had signed up to help. Real help. No paperwork or coffee making. You had wanted to become a nurse.
The physical aspect of your job was not that difficult. You knew what to do in most situations and you had learnt how to stop frowning at the physiological body functions. It was the emotional aspect of the job that no one had prepared you for.
Sometimes the boys would come back from the air battles with nothing but mere scratches. They would still come by just to spend time with you and let your gentle, skilled hands to patch them up as they were telling you stories.
Sometimes the same boys would not come back from their next mission and the stories they had told were all that was left of them. You would cherish them in your heart forever.
Sometimes the boys would come back burnt, with half of their faces blown out or their guts bleeding all over the floor. Their screams of pain would haunt you later at night. Those were your boys.
Perhaps that was why you were everyone's favourite nurse. You were getting attached to them so easily, treating everyone as a friend, offering them a loving hug when they needed it, listening to their stories, helping them to write letters to their mothers and girlfriends or children. You were a good spirit of the base and one of the planes was named after you. So far it still hadn’t gone down and everyone treated it as a sign that you were their guardian angel indeed.
You didn’t see yourself as a guardian angel. If you had to stay within the religious imagery examples, you’d rather describe yourself as a mater dolorosa – lady of sorrows watching her son’s suffering and not being able to help him.
Sometimes they would die in your arms. Still, it was better than to die in a burning plane. Better for them. Not for you.
Today was a day of a very difficult mission. Most of the planes hadn’t come back at all. And the ones who had, were full of men screaming in agony and pain. You were barely able to hold it all together when they were reaching their hands out for you as if your touch would heal them. But it wouldn’t. It couldn’t, no matter how much you wanted it.
“(Y/N), you should take a break…” Your friend put her hand on your shoulder. You were exhausted indeed. You were working for three hours straight without sitting down for one second and you were running around from one bed to another. “Go, rest,” she insisted but you shook your head and went back to work.
Only when you noticed that your hands were shaking so much that you weren’t able to inject a needle into a vein properly, you decided to take a break indeed. You didn’t want to cause even more damage by trying too hard.
But before leaving the sickbay you wanted to check on one of the young pilots. He was nineteen years old, it had been his first mission and you remembered how excited he had been about it. Now he was laying on one of the beds, barely breathing as his chest was burnt and lungs damaged.
You were approaching his bed and your heart sank to your chest at the sight of the doctor putting a white sheet over his face.
“Wh-what… What are you doing to Johnson, sir?” You asked.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” the doctor shook his head. “He’s just passed away.”
You just stood there with your lips slightly parted. Johnson was just another surname on the list of all these boys you would never forget about. But Johnson was special. He was the youngest you had known. He couldn’t stop talking about his mother and little sister, about his dog and his girlfriend waiting for him back in Alabama.
Your sadness overtook your whole body and then it developed into an anger so big that you felt as if you were about to explode and bring down the whole base.
“Son of a bitch…” You breathed out angrily as you stormed out of the sickbay without even taking your apron off. It was full of blood but you did not care.
You walked down the corridor with murder in your eyes, making everyone step out of the way. And you entered the Colonel’s office without knocking, so loudly and rapidly that all the men inside startled.
“Miss?” Colonel Harding asked as he was sitting behind his desk and showing some sort of a map to a few Majors.
One of them was Major Cleven. He hadn’t been up in the air on that day but he would be tomorrow. And was the one you had befriended the most. But even his presence couldn’t stop your rage at that moment.
“You can’t just keep sending them to die, Colonel!” You clenched your fists and approached the desk as the men watched with big eyes. “Look! Look, Colonel! Look!” You showed him your bloody hands and your apron. “Why is it me with their blood and guts all over me? While you’re just sitting here, planning…” You gave the map a very angry look. You wanted to tear it apart and you were shaking to stop yourself from doing so. “You’re sending them to death, all of them, they’re just boys! Johnson was nineteen years old! Do you even know who he was? Or was he just another number to you?!”
“(Y/N), calm down, let’s take you outside…” Buck approached you carefully but you moved away.
“No! I will not be silenced. I have things to say and I will say them!” You snapped at him and he froze. You laid your eyes back on the surprised Colonel again. “You just sit here and plan how to send them to death more efficiently. You men… Can’t you see how stupid this whole war is? How stupid every war is? And just because some brilliant engineers constructed planes, doesn’t mean they should be used to kill people!”
“Miss…” Colonel furrowed his brow, “Miss I-Don’t-Know-Your-Name, are you done?”
“You son of a bitch!” You banged your bloody fists on his desk and his stupid map got covered with blood. “You don’t even know my name. But I am the one to patch them up and hold their hand when they’re dying after you sent them to death. God damn you, Colonel Harding! You and all the Generals that you serve! God damn Hitler, God damn Churchill and God damn your fucking President Roosevelt!”
“(Y/N), please,” Buck’s strong hands pulled you away. “I’m sorry, Colonel. She’s all shook up,” he tried to explain your behaviour as you started sobbing when the anger had finally left your body. You hid your face in his uniform and allowed him to put his arm around you. “I’ll take her outside.”
“Yeah, you better do it, son,” Colonel nodded at him. Buck started to walk you out slowly and carefully as you heard Colonel’s voice while you were walking out of the door. “Poor girl… She needs a free weekend.”
Buck took you outside and watched you worryingly as you were catching your breath back and trying to calm yourself down, wiping the tears off of your face with the palms of your bloody hands.
“Here, let me,” he took out a handkerchief and wiped your face with it gently. “Gee, (Y/N), what was that?”
“I… I don’t know… I just can’t… I can’t do it anymore, Buck… That boy, Johnson, he was nineteen… Nineteen, for God’s sake,” you sniffed your tears back and looked into his eyes as your lips trembled. “He was telling me stories about his mum and little sister… His dog and his girlfriend… And now… And now he’s gone. Just like that. His lungs were burnt. Every breath was agony…” You tried to explain, still shaking.
“You really need a free weekend,” Buck pointed out and brought you closer to give you another hug.
It felt good to be in his arms. It was comforting. But you were scared to admit to yourself that you indeed liked him more than just a friend. Because if he would go down tomorrow or any other day, it would hurt even more.
“I can’t… I can’t leave my boys…” You took a step back to look at his face again. “And… And I can’t just take a free weekend. It would feel wrong. When you boys are up in the air, so brave and so heroic. All I can do is patch you up later. I can’t give up, no…”
“We all need a break sometimes. Hey,” Buck raised your chin up with his finger, “promise me that you’ll take a free weekend.”
“Aren’t you on a mission this weekend?” You asked.
“Yeah.”
“Then no way, Buck,” you shook your head. “I have to be here to patch you up,” you smiled through the tears.
“There are other nurses ‘round here,” he pointed out with a soft smile.
“I don’t want them to touch you,” you admitted suddenly as your cheeks heated up.
Why the hell had you said that…?
“They don’t know how to patch you up properly, I mean…” You tried to explain yourself quickly. “Only I know how to–”
But he didn’t let you finish. He leaned in very carefully and placed a gentle kiss upon your lips. You were stunned.
“I know what you mean, sweetheart,” he teased after finally breaking the kiss and caressing your cheek with his thumb. “I promise I won’t get a single scratch when you’re not around.”
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MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST
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ailithnight · 1 year
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Aheem... prompt from @regonold
16 Hours
Danny remembers the first time something shorted out his powers. Vlad with his stupid Plasmius Maximus thing. Well, 'remembers'. Mostly he remembers the aftermath.
Apparently Vlad hadn't known at the time exactly how Danny ended up half ghost. He thought it had been a slower progression like his own development. It hadn't occurred to him that Danny's original death had been much quicker.
Danny remembers a short, light shock. Really, the spector deflector was worse. But this shock... suddenly his muscles were seizing, his heart stuttering, his Lichtenbergs burning. And then, nothing. A blank space in Danny's head that apparently spanned 3 hours.
Next thing he knows, they're in some kind of vehicle. There are sirens outside (a police escort, Danny would later learn). His mom is driving like her life depends on it. And Vlad is giving him chest compressions, looking grieved and panic striken. He's crying. They both are.
"Please tell me you didn't have to kiss me." His voice comes out pained and raspy. Mom almost crashes the vehicle.
"No, Little Badger. Thankfully, you kept breathing. Just your heart that was struggling." Vlad chuckled, guilty yet relieved.
It was another hour before they made it to the nearest hospital from the stupid hunting cabin. 6 more for all the stupid medical tests. "An accident," Vlad told them. "Small shock, but with an already weak heart..."
Any other time, Danny might have argued. Tried to make Vlad admit more guilt. But the whole ordeal had exhausted him to much to care then.
The second time was marginally better. At least with the Fenton Crammer, it was a steady loss. And Danny managed to fix it before his healing factor fully failed. It still hadn't been pleasant, fighting Skulker and dealing with Dash while phantom echoes of his death arced across his body. But he'd managed.
This. This is so much worse. Danny thought it would be like the Crammer again. A steady decline. But it isn't.
And it isn't like the Maximus either, a one then done, pain then nothing, dying then dead, moment.
No. This is more like the blood blossoms. This is torture. This is hell.
The suppression cuffs let just enough of his power bleed through, just enough healing factor, to keep him alive. Alive and in agony for... hours? Days? Weeks? Minutes? Danny couldn't really tell. His thoughts had long since turned to nothing but static and pain. All he knew was that time was passing around him while he was here, suffering on the absolute brink of death yet unable to embrace it.
Oh god he wanted to die. Please just let him die already! It's too much. A death that should only last a few seconds drug out into an eternity. His muscles ached with the strain of being locked up. His insides were broiling from the electric heat. His heart stuttered and stopped and started and stuttered. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts!
He might have been screaming. He might have been Wailing. Or he might he been choking on weak uneven breaths. Danny didn't know. Didn't care to know. Didn't care if he ever found out the details of his time in chains. He just wanted, no needed, it to end. But it just dragged on and on and on. And Danny was lost in it.
Too far gone to even realize when it ended.
.
Batman hadn't been there when the new meta appeared, quite literally materializing from nowhere in the conference room mid-meeting. He had been dealing with a mass Arkham breakout at the time. So he wasn't there. An unfortunate fact which will haunt him for the rest of his life and possibly beyond.
He should have been there. If he had only been there...
He didn't blame his team mates. They didn't know. Who would have guessed that simple power suppression cuffs could ever be an instrument of torture. He'd never considered it possible.
He didn't blame his team mates. How could he blame them? Batman wasn't even the one to connect the dots. Red Robin figured it out. He always was good at stringing together thoughts know one else would think to connect.
Red Robin asked the right questions. He figured out in 5 minutes what the rest of the league and the best doctors -not technically- on earth had been agonizing over for 16 hours.
16 hours too long.
He should have been here. Should have come sooner.
"Don't know, B!" Flash had met him at the Zetas, already rambling at top speed before he could reorient himself after teleportation. Everyone else had gone home, unable to help and needing to tend to their own cities and responsibilities.
"He just- He appeared out of nowhere while we were in meeting. Didn't trip any alarms or nothing. Just popped up. We figured it had to be teleportation, but he'd have to know where the Watchtower was to do that.
So we figured, you know, random kid teleporting into the Watchtower during a Justice League meeting. Not good. Big threat. Bats would tell us to detain. So we did.
But before we could get him to a holding cell, there was this flash of light and he changed or something. He had white hair and green eyes and some sort of jumpsuit on when he appeared.
But after the light he had black hair and a t-shirt and jeans and I actually didn't see his eyes cause he just collapsed on the spot.
Started convulsing or seizing or something. And screaming. God, B, the screaming... So we took him to medbay and...
He's dying B. He has to be. He's got a fever that keeps spiking and dropping, his muscles keep spasming, and his heart keeps giving out...
He looks 14. He looks like..."
Flash had trailed off there, as they reached medbay. Bruce understood his reluctance to complete that sentence as soon as he saw the boy.
He looks like a Robin.
Like all 4 of his sons combined.
Like someone mixed Dick's and Jason's faces and put it on Tim's body at Damian's age.
It can't even be a trick. The suppression cuffs are nullifying his abilities. This is what he truly looks like.
His sons.
In pain.
In agony for 16 hours because Batman prioritized Gotham over an emergency on the Watchtower.
"When exactly did you say he collapsed."
"When we were moving him to a holding cell after we caught him. He was a trick to catch too. He-"
Red Robin cut him off. "Yeah, sure. But when exactly did this start. What happened immediately before?"
Flash was less then pleased about being interrupted, but acquiesced after a look from Batman. Tim had an idea. Tim was on to something. "Like I said, just after we caught him and got the cuffs on so he'd stop slipping away again."
Bruce couldn't keep the growl out of his voice one he realized what Tim was suggesting. Of course he knows it wasn't their fault. He's told all of them as much since. But in the moment...
"Take them off!"
"What?"
"It's the cuffs! Take the damn cuffs off! They're killing him!"
Flash wasted no more time, bolting out of the room to fetch the disabler. Tim didn't bother waiting for the fastest man alive. He had the cuffs disabled before Flash would have been able to swipe his access card into the detainment center storage room. Bruce practically threw the cuffs out of the room in his haste to get them away.
The change had been... not nearly as quick as Bruce would have liked. The heartrate settled out almost instantly, although into something a bit too slow for comfort. But it was steady and Bruce knew nothing about this kid's normal physiology so he counted it a win.
The screaming, of course, had long since choked off. According to Flash's report, his vocal cords failed after about an hour. But his facial expressions still indicated consciousness, though not awareness.
The muscles stopped spasming and unlocked slowly over the course of several minutes. Flash was back by then, looking a bit put out to have lost a race against Red Robin. Batman could not give a single flying fuck about Flash's ego right then.
Shortly after his muscles unlocking was when he finally passed out. Once more, Batman thought about 16 hours. 16 hours and he hadn't even been able to slip into unconsciousness for relief. He should have been here.
The fever was the slowest to break. In that it still hadn't broken almost 2 hours later. Batman had sent Tim and Flash home after Red Robin finished squeezing all the details he could out of Barry. Tim had given him a look before leaving, some mixture of worry and mischief. "Should I tell Agent A to prepare a room?" Bruce just rolled his eyes and shooed him off. Hopefully to bed. Knowing his son, probably not. Tim was most likely still up doing research. Bruce wanted to call Alfred to wrangle Tim to sleep.
But calling Alfred would mean leaving the room so the still potentially a threat meta couldn't hear if he woke up. And Bruce couldn't leave him. Not until the fever broke. Not until he woke up. Not until he knew the boy that looked like his sons would be okay.
Not until he could apologize for being late.
16 hours.
16 hours too late.
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