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risuola · 17 days

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▶ BRUTALLY HONEST — when Satoru asked you for a rather unusual favor.

contents: silly Satoru, college!au, roommates, suggestive, humorous (??), male anatomy in brief detail, reader discretion is advised — 0,9k words

a/n: ok, this part is... a little more into 18+ territory but still keeping it light and friendly between the trio. a crack if you will, let's all appreciate the stupid boy Satoru.

𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀𝘿𝙇𝙀𝙔 | series masterlist

“Question!”

The moment Satoru stepped into the room, you could tell from the look on his face — the typical mischief twisting his features into a caricature of innocence — that there’s something going on his mind that you may or may not want to know.

“Yes?” You encouraged carefully, flipping your eyes back onto the stack of papers in your hands. Notes, that you wished would transfer their contents onto your brain before you fail tomorrow’s test.

“I have the most random question– a favor, actually and you have to bear with me.”

“Hit me.” You were ready for–

“How many dicks you saw in your life?” –well, not that. “Real life, real dudes, that is. Not porn.”

You blinked.

Once, twice. The air seemed a little thicker than just a moment before and you shouldn’t be surprised. Satoru is unpredictable, he’s vibrant, he’s straight to the point most of the time, but that took you a moment.

“Can you repeat the question?”

“Dicks. Penises, cocks–“

“Yeah, okay, I got that.” You cut him quickly, abandoning the idea of studying and now paying him your entire attention. “You have to give me some context, Toru.”

“I’m curious if you girls have a preference? Speaking about aesthetics. Do you, like, judge the look of a dick?”

“Has anyone made you insecure about the look of your dick or what is it about?” You asked, confused, though confusion would be an understatement to describe the state of your mind now.

“I don’t know, no one said anything but, uh–“ Satoru began, shrugging nonchalantly, but there was a subtle uneasiness hidden underneath his lighthearted tone that you could spot with no mistake. “Every time I am with someone, they look at it as if they saw a ghost and most often it gets me down before the party begins, so it made me wonder.”

You put down the notes, abandoning the hopes and dreams about a good grade tomorrow and your fingers found their way to the bridge of your nose, pinching it — a typical gesture when you tried to collect your thoughts.

“I highly doubt any part of you could not be appealing, Toru. Even your feet are pretty—”

“Irrelevant. So, I’m asking do you have enough picture storage in your head to compare or do girls even pay attention to the looks of a dick?”

“Well, yeah, I guess? I mean, I received a fair share of unwanted dick picks, I’d say I know how a cock look like… But I don’t know, I think the judgement happens automatically,” you said, exhaling. “I think I saw once a very unimpressive dick. The rest was rather similar, I suppose—”

“What do you mean by unimpressive?”

“God, that’s embarrassing. It was my first partner, you probably don’t even know him, but the guy had at max two inches, which is fine as long as you can work with it, but he lasted less than ten seconds and on top of that he was hairy like a gorilla what probably took an entire inch off his length.”

“Wait, you had a hairy gorilla boyfriend and we don’t know about it?”

“It wasn’t my boyfriend, we didn’t even end up having sex. It doesn’t matter, okay?”

“We’ll get back to this, but now, dicks.” Satoru got closer and kneeled on the bed. “So, the favor. Can you be honest? Like, brutally, 100% honest?”

“Honest about wha— Wait, you want me to judge your dick?”

“Yeah?” He looked at you with the pleading expression in his blue eyes, his voice got whiny for a moment and you really wished to flick his forehead right now. “Please? No other girl will be as honest as you and Suguru is not really the respectable source of knowledge about the issue.”

“Christ, okay.”

You agreed.

You said okay, but for some reason it still shocked you when Satoru, instead of talking like he usually does, pulled his sweats down. Looking away was your first reaction. You felt like you shouldn’t be looking, but he literally just asked you to judge, so you slowly allowed your eyes to run down his body, leaving his handsome face and landing finally on the now free manhood, and oh boy, there was a lot to analyze.

The word pretty usually wouldn’t be your first choice when talking about penises. They were usually very similar, more often than not unimpressive and overall uninteresting, but Gojo… He was just that. Pretty. Incredibly long, and girthy too, covered in light skin with the baby pink head. He looked heavy, mouthwatering, like a dessert of sorts. The set of veins spread from below his stomach and wrapped around the shaft. He was mostly clean shaven, with just the tiniest happy trail of white hairs that against his light body was just barely visible.

“And?” He reminded you why you are even taking in the view. “Brutally honest, please.”

“You know what… I really, really hate giving a head, but that dick I’d suck for hours. It actually makes me salivate, you’re fucking pretty Satoru. I don’t get your concern,” you told him, finally looking away and getting your thoughts together, forcing them together. Why was it so hot all of the sudden? “If they look oddly, that’s probably because you’re fucking huge. Christ–”

“It makes you wanna give me a head?” He grinned, obviously catching onto the words you said when you weren’t thinking clearly.

“Hold your horses and pull those pants up. You have nothing to worry about, you’re gorgeous from head to toe, you idiot.”

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lucysarah-c · 1 year

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Are you ready for ERWIN AND MIKE TRAINING CADETS HEADCANON EDITION?! YES?! OK, HERE WE GO!

Erwin was short, not that muscled, couldn't grow a bear for his life depending on him and was those nerd awkward kids that you think "this kid will never get pussy"

Thank god puberty hit him harder than the colossal titan to wall Maria. But he was a late boomer though, around his 17-18. Therefor, he had stretch marks on the bottom of his back because this kid like grew like crazy when his time finally came around.

Mike? he was the complete opposite, this kid was 12 and looked like 20 lmao. He was already tall like a mountain, thick like the walls, hairy like bear. He was the girlies dream as a cadet, pussy he wanted, pussy he got. He was the Reiner of his promotion, every girl wanted him and every guy wanted to be him.

Mike was what my mother would call "American's boyfriend", all the girls of the continent were his girlfriend at some point. He slowed down later on.

Erwin and Mike shared bunk beds and I think that at the beginning they didn't really get along. You know? Like Mike didn't pay any attention to the strategy/theory classes but was a genius on the 3DMG (Let's not forget that Mike was humanity's strongest soldier before Levi showed up). On the other hand, I feel Erwin as a kid/pre-teen kind of thing was those kinds who want to get along with the professors who do everything legal and correct until they had this magic moment where they realize they can get away with stuff. Plus, Isayama said that Erwin was in the top ten of his promotion but he wasn't that good at 3DMG. So Erwin want classes on 3DMG to get better and Mike needs to write an activity report that doesn't seem like written by a dog. When they began to work together, the friendship started.

Erwin is jealous of Mike, basically any girl he has a crush on only gets close to him to ask if Mike is available. Mike is ALWAYS asking him if he can leave the room and Erwin wants to sleep to be productive.

Let's jump when they stopped the training and carried on to the scouts, they share a bedroom. Erwin isn't a clean freak like Levi but Mike passes the limits, the new black plague grows in his bed. Erwin is always complaining he's the only one doing "all the chores, what will you do the day I decide to leave"

"You sound like my mother, Erwin"

Nile was the third one in the team and their betray to change to the MPs felt personal for the two. The three of them used to share rooms.

Ok, you remember I told you Erwin grew up all the sudden? ok, it took him awhile to get used to the attention before becoming the handsome charming smooth talker he's as a commander.

Mike would hear a girl talking to Erwin, see his clueless friend used to not being the girls attention and having to write him in a tissue from across the bar "she's flirting"

When it was Erwin's time to finally want the room for himself, Mike is a gossip little bitch. He wants to know all in return, how was it? how they did it? what they did it? which positions? This man was shameless, he would ask it in the middle of the corridor making higher-ups turn around with a smirk on their face and Erwin is a dying mess.

Each single bad idea originally was Mike and Nile the, as I told you, Erwin began to realize he could smooth out his way out of everything and oh boy. He planned the biggest scape plans and they never got caught.

It took Mike months to convince Erwin that Marie, the girl that Erwin has had a crush on for years, is finally showing interest and he's not making it up in his mind.

Definitely a toxic roommates relationship, Mike is just too laid back for Erwin in some aspects and Erwin is too obsessive for Mike. They 100% flighted way less once each got their own room lmao.

Once to make up, Mike searched for Erwin and said "It's a shame when we fight but a miracle when we fuck," being all goofy doing the regular "gay jokes between guys". Erwin looked at him completely done and said "Mike, the commander is in the bathroom he probably heard you,". The entire higher-ups of the scouts back the laughed about it from months in the meetings.

Erwin used to do kind of like "internships" to get his hands on legal and court themes more with Zachary. So when Zachary and Mike hangs out they make fun of how "cute and nerdly" Erwin used to be and how he shouldn't get cooky because they can always tell the rest. Erwin just role his eyes but he's secretly ashamed lol his modern au probably erased his teen pictures after his glow up.

Erwin isn't really good at holding alcohol but he's really good at pretending he does. Mike is all the opposite, he's better at holding it but once he's drunk he looks drunk and he acts drunk.

Mike and Nile once dared Erwin to use his "monitor" pass to go to the female barracks of the scouts, joking that he had to stay there for half an hour without getting caught by a girl. ... didn't come back in the entire night, the next morning Mike found him sneakily taking a shower and made fun of the hickey he had for weeks. Saying stuff like "I didn't know there were vampires in the female barracks "

Mike is one year and half older than Erwin, he joined with almost 14 years old the training grounds because his family had a farm and it was a rough year the one of his 12 and his family needed his help around. Good mommy boy.

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occult-roommates · 1 year

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I brought you to a gay bar

Once arrived at the bar, the three men went to the lounge upstairs. Immediately, Ralf and Daniele got some shooters, while Dawud just settled down for a fresh can of Pepsi™ (NOT SPONSORED). Which great, if he doesn’t drink then Daniele cannot use that to his advantage to seduce him back, making him feel less like a creep.

Afterward, they hit the dancefloor, though while Daniele and Dawud were dancing, Ralf was still mostly drinking. He said it himself, he was here to have fun and get shitfaced.

Dawud: Woah dude, aren’t you afraid of the hangover? Like I know you’re not flying until Monday but still. Ralf: I’m a tall German guy, I think I can handle my alcohol just fine. Dawud: Weren’t you from Ukraine originally? Ralf: Oooh, a Slavic guy who can drink no problem a ton of alcohol, literally unheard of. I swear I’m not drunk and I won’t embarrass myself, alright?

Literally a minute after, it was announced there was a karaoke downstairs, and as soon as he saw the mic, Ralf stripped to his famous “slutty underwear”, ran towards the stage, and grabbed it.

Ralf: Back when I was in flight school, I bottomed for all the other young pilots at the academy and this is how my butthole gained the nickname “The Cockpit”. Anyway this is Blank Space by Taylor Swift. Daniele: Oooh so that’s what he meant by his slutty underwear. Hot. Dawud: And you’re just gonna ignore what he said? Ralf: GOT A LONG LIST OF EX-LOVERS THEY’LL TELL YOU I’M INSAAANE!!

Starting to get tired of the noise, and to understand why Ralf’s deceased son found that embarrassing when he sang in the car with him, Dawud went back upstairs, where he sat at a bar and ordered another fresh can of Pepsi™ (STILL NOT SPONSORED). Next to him was another young guy, probably around his age, who seemed oddly familiar. Especially when he called him by his name, as if he was surprised to see him here.

Dawud: Who are you? Matteo: Well it’s me, Matteo, Dan’s cousin. Dawud: Oh wow! I-I didn’t recognize you...You got black hair no- Wait scratch that, you likely used hair dye, why the fuck are your eyes no longer yellow? I don’t normally notice eye color but like...Yellow is hard to ignore. Matteo: Not surprised you didn’t recognized me. Like you said, I dyed my hair black so I look less like a spellcaster, put on contact lenses for the same reason, started working out, and have been on testosterone for exactly one year today. Dawud: Oh congratulation. Matteo: Thanks. Also I’m here to celebrate that, but I’m also trying not to drink too much cause like, I’m also getting my tits removed in three days. Dawud: That’s fine I never saw your tits so it wouldn’t have help me recognize you...Wait did you said you dyed your hair to look less like a spellcaster? The yellow eyes I get it, but the hair...You know human ginger exist? Matteo: Yeah duh, but the gene that causes red hair in spellcaster is different from the one that causes red hair in human.

Dawud went on to ramble about that time they went ufo-spotting in the Strangerville desert with Audrey and Daniele, when the DJ put on Shut up and dance with me. This is essentially what Matteo told Dawud as they went to the dancefloor, where they had fun together.

Matteo: It’s a shame I never really got to know you earlier. But trust me, up until a year ago you did not want to hangout with me, I was such a miserable asshole and had been one for years. Dawud: Haha, same. Matteo: Also I was always busy cause I was in veterinary school. Though I should be graduating at the end of this semester assuming my top surgery won’t set me back too much. Dawud: Wow, that’s great man. I’m gonna hopefully be an airport mechanic soon.

As they kept dancing together, Dawud ended up accidentally pulling Matteo closer to him, but it’s ok, he didn’t mind. There’s a reason other than celebrating one year on HRT that Matteo came to that bar, which is it was bear night. You know, bears, the type of gay guy who’s big and hairy. Just like...well...look at Dawud,

Matteo: Kiss me. Dawud: You sure??? Matteo: I spent the first 23 years of my life afraid of any sort of intimacy, I am now at a point where I crave it. Please, kiss me. Dawud: Well if you ask so nicely then alright. Daniele: Dav, please send help, Ralf is refusing to leave the karaoke stage and all he’s doing is making other shitty plane jokes and singing the chorus of Sonne by Rammstein. I think it’s because he doesn’t know the other lyr-

Oh no, oh hell no. For the love of the Ancient Greek goddess of witchcraft, better known as Hecate, this cannot be happening. Daniele came here to make Dawud fall back in love with him and next thing he knows, he’s kissing his COUSIN??? He didn’t even know Matteo would be here tonight! Fuck his life...

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#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #ts4 simblr #simblr #sims community #sims 4 community #ts4 screenshots #ts4 storytelling #gay sims #gay simblr #occult roommates #dawud sahan #daniele rossini #matteo rossini #ralf montag #long post #OcRo s2

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thotsforvillainrights · 2 years

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I wanna try the matchup thing! Ok, im a girl, short light brown hair, i like drawing, music, sweets and reading(your stuff mostly). And teddybears. I almost forgot them how dare i- anyway, im not sure what else to add so imma rattle off a few things. Im an introvert, favourite colors are purple and blue (mb green and yellow alongside those), i preffer baggy clother bc im a rather hairy girl, i have like maybe 3 true friends, and all my life i preffered the villians instead of the heroes, can you blame me tho? Im not sure what else to put here, and im also pretty sure there is enought stuff. No need to rush and have a good day! Love your posts! 🧸❤️

(Glad you enjoy my stuff! It may be a tiny bit short for the matchup but I tried my best to stretch it out some! Hope you like it!)

Match-Up #24

-I match you with Jin Bubaigawara-

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-I feel as though you two had a special connection when you'd met each other and that you manages to grow close under a short period of time. It takes a lot of patience and time to be with somebody like Twice but I truly believe you stuck it out and held on even when things began to get rough occasionally. You'd probably met by accident (something along the lines of accidentally running into someone at a train station and connecting over a little thing like the sunset). Ever since then, you two have been in each others heart always. He probably ended up moving in with you when the time came since you insisted he get out of that cramped and moldy apartment he was festering in for so long. Besides, the rent and amenities was better in your part of the city compared to him. The day that he finished moving his stuff in, he felt a huge sense of pride wash over him. It was that special moment where you two got to share in coming together with each other. He gifted you a special bear he'd had customized himself for the occasion. After learning how much you liked bears he ended up making it his tradition. They've started being called the 'January Bear' since he'd get you one every year you two made it through dating (the first of January). Speaking of bears, he's taken to calling you a nickname according to it. Aside from this, you get a lot of joy out of being with this man. It's never really a dull moment with him around. It's like having more than one person in the house, especially when you catch him having full arguments and conversations with himself. Sometimes it's not all breezy and you have to support him when he's having a break down. It's probably the first time you'd seen a man like him cry so remember to be patient and not judge him during his rough times. Other than that, he's pretty much an all around fun guy to be with. He's loud, sometimes annoying, and very clingy when he feels like you're leaving the house for too long again. Who knows which of his halves is so attached to you but also…who cares? It's all love at the end of the day after all! He likes to be involved in your interest whether that's trying to draw with you or listening to your playlists and showing you his as well. He sneaks you sweets all the time, often hiding them around the house as a cute game to play with you when you try to find them. he may have to stop it though, considering one day you both lost a sweet and couldn't find it until a week later when the ants came. He's attracted to you in every kind of way. He loves your baggy outfits, and doesn't mind if you're hairy in any way. In his words "You're human aren't you? Humans have hair." He thinks it's cute you own a good deal of stuff that's correlating to your favorite colors and he tries to help build up on that by getting you more stuff as well. He can't wait for the day you introduce him to your friends! He's already introduced you to his. He knew he could trust you considering your stance on the villains point of view and whatnot. I think he mostly cherishes how much you see him as not another mess that isn't worth society cleaning up. He knows you see him as a person, a human…and as the man you love the most. To him, there's nothing worth more than that!

#match up

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pupplaylogan · 9 months

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what do u think about the sides' junk. Like I know they're shapeshifters but like. What hc do u have for everyone

WELL. I don't have headcanons the same as everyone else. I notice people usually stick with One Headcanon (ex. "My headcanon is this character is bisexual!") and rarely, if ever, change them for anything. I am the complete opposite. I have HCs for very specific situations and they change a lot. (Like, I headcanon Logan as transfem, but a lot of the times I don't always make her transfem in AUs.) But I'll try my best.

I headcanon Patton as a trans man who hasn't gotten bottom surgery, so typically he has a T Dick. However, if I were to view him as a cis man, I think he has the biggest dick out of all of the sides. Man's packing ok. Fucking massive. Probably trims his pubes into fun shapes.

I also headcanon Roman as an afab trans person who hasn't had any surgery, so he also gets a T Dick! As a cis man, he'd probably be average size, but very thick. I think he's a fat, hairy bear. & because of that he probably has a lot of pubes that he does not trim & its hot

I love hemipenis Janus. I know that's everyone's HC, but... he's got two dicks. In human AUs, it changes a lot, but I think he's above average. & I once read a fic where he had a dick piercing & its honestly my fave HC ever. Probably slender. Don't know why, I think it's the snake thing. (Snakes are slender and long and so is ... his dick.) Maybe curved a little bit.

I recently have been loving uncircumsized Logan. I don't know where it came from, but I am enjoying it. I also usually headcanon him has having the smallest dick out of all the sides. I don't think he shaves or trims anything, he probably thinks there's no point and also he's a very, very busy man (being a little submissive for the sides).

I love big dick Virgil. I think he's like right under Patton and above Janus in regards to dick size. Also, I bet he shaves. I don't know why I think that, but I bet he does. He also has a thick dick. I read an emetophilia fic where Logan gags on Virgil's cock and I can't get it out of my head. He has a big, thick dick. I also sometimes HC him as being an afab trans person & gets bottom surgery. He walks in & the first thing he asks is "how big can you make my dick" /j

AND. I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT REMUS' DICK APPARENTLY. It kind of just... changes constantly. Which I think is very in character for him. He shapeshifts, you know he is not leaving his dick size alone. Janus walks into the dark side place of the mind palace one day & Remus has made his dick like the size of the fucking room & it takes like 15 minutes trying to make him change it back so Janus can actually walk into the living room.

I ALSO don't think he's leaving it a human dick. He's changed his dick to a million things. C!Thomas learned that ducks have corkscrew penises & Remus immediately changed it to see how it was. Thomas put on The Good Place and Remus changed it to match Derek's windchime dick.

In order of size: Patton, Virgil, Janus, Roman, Logan (& Remus is whereever he wants to be 🧡)

& in order of thickness: Roman, Patton-Virgil, Logan, Janus

#THIS WAS FUN #ask #i do love talking abt dcks. theyre my favourite thing in the world.#also the way i talked abt patton & roman sounds like i love no op trans ppl #& i do.#🧡

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tomboyfriends · 1 year

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OSA nsfw/sex talk, male partner talk cw and general tmi, pls don’t read if you’re grossed out by that kind of thing

thinks about the time i was kissing this guy and he got a boner from feeling my mustache hairs against his lip o_o i know guys will get turned on by anything but i wasn’t expecting that and then he said he was glad i didn’t shave my pubes bc it’s really hot for him. one time later he just like........ asked to look at my bush/crotch while we were doing sexual stuff and literally just jerked off to completion looking at it before all of that he told me i am exactly his type which i thought was weird because i don’t have a body type that is considered “conventionally attractive”, then he said he was into masc women and feminine men. and then i’m kind of goth which didn’t hurt either. he did at a later point say that he wouldn’t mind if i was a bit hairier but was still totally ok with my body type (my body hair is thin and dark and kinda blends with my dark skin tone) also he is like the hairiest dude i have ever been with. and i’m like... his first opposite-sex physical experience, he’s only been with guys before (one tim, though he knows i consider tims to be men and is ok with it)

he’s also like, the hairiest guy i have EVER met. he once went on this app for bears (GROWLr) but then he realized there are only other hairy dudes there. he’s also autistic so he was just like oh... whoops should’ve figured he shaves his face for his comfort which i think is funny because his face is blank but the rest of his body is like... so fluffy. after he sleeps on any surface he leaves little dark hairs like how a dog or a cat sheds. it’s cute but like.... i have literally never met anyone so hairy. i read this post by this bi guy who couldn’t get over his ex because his ex was this hairy bear and that is his type, and i immediately thought of that post. his skin is quite pale too so it really stands out. just this hairy ass 6′4″ dude. it’s like a form of culture shock, but for body hair. very addictive to play/stim with though 10/10

#osaposting #ok xavery

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yapowo1078 · 2 years

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I was spending my holidays in Syria, my country, in the Middle East. I was in Damascus, the capital of Syria. It is a very overcrowded city and there are a lot of cars and buses going around the town all day, even in the late night.

This summer was particularly hot and 43°C was really easy to reach. As a result, a lot of taxi drivers drove their cars in sandals, slippers or even bare feet, and I had a lot of occasions to see some really nice Arabic male feet. One day I decided to try to do what I have been planning for years. I got out of my house and stopped a taxi, and when I got inside the car I couldn't believe my eyes. The taxi driver was a mature man around 45, he had big moustaches, but the most outstanding thing was about his feet, very large and meaty feet.

He was of course wearing slippers and I could see his wonderful feet with great and slightly hairy toes. He said hello to me in a harsh way and by the look of his face he was expecting me to answer in a submissive and accondiscendent way; most of the taxi drivers in Syria are like that because their job is very stressing, they can drive also for 12 hours in a day and they don't have a great compensation for their effort. I replied in a very kind and gentle way and I told him the place in which I wanted to go. Then I started thinking about a way to try to ask him something about his tiresome work and I finally found the way. The dialogue between us started like this: -So, Uncle

(A respective way to address someone elder than you in Arabic countries),

I bet your job is very stressing and you get tired a lot for it. He replied: -Yes boy, my workday is very long and sometimes I drive more than 12 hours in a single day. I answered: -Oh, that's really a lot of time! And your legs and feet

Don’t hurt after a long drive like this?

(Please, I beg you, say YES!!),

And he said: -Yes for sure my boy, my silly legs and feet hurt me a lot after these hours spent driving and in summer they also stink a lot because of the hot weather and I always need to take a bath! I replied: -Well, Uncle, don't you have anyone to give you a great and relaxing foot massage?

(SAY NO SAY NO.)

And he said: - Unfortunately not...I have nobody that can bear to smell the odor of my stinky feet to give me a massage... at that time I jumped up and said: -Then Uncle, if you don't mind I can give you this massage, I have some experience in this and I guess you will feel much better after a rest and a massage... and he replied: -Well, that would be great, my boy, but I'm afraid about the odor of my feet, they really stink a lot and they can send to hell anybody in 2 minutes, you know...

(Hell?? I would have said HEAVEN!!)

And I replied: -Oh, Uncle, that's not a problem at all, I can handle this for you if you want, you are my Boss and you can order me to do whatever you want and I just do as you say (this sentence is normal in Arabic countries and it is used to show maximum respect and submission to the person you're addressing). He started laughing in a very masculine way and said: -Ok my boy, I'll let you massage my feet for me...

But not in this car, I have to take you to my house where I can relax completely. And I said: -Yes, Uncle, whatever you want, I'm under your will. After this, he drove me to his house and on the road he told me that his name was Salah and when we arrived we got down from the car and he told me that we would be alone in the house because his wife had gone visiting her parents in Aleppo

(Another Syrian city)

And so I could massage his feet as much as necessary. I felt really upset and I was thinking that my dream was finally coming true; I was going to massage the feet

(PERFECT FEET)

Of a mature man, who seemed to be very dominant and used to rule people around him! A real Leader! We got in the house and he said: -I'll sit on this sofa and you can sit on the carpet at my feet, but bring me that stool over there so that I can lean my feet on it, boy. -Yes Uncle, I replied. I brought the stool and I sat on the carpet next to it. At that point the man said: -Ok my boy, lift up my feet and put them on the stool, I'm really tired. I obeyed without saying any word, and it seemed that this enjoyed him very much, and I was enjoying too...

Come on, boy, take off my slippers and start working with my feet. I had no way to escape. I had to massage his feet and this was a really submissive act in Arabic countries, anyone that massages the feet of someone was meant to be his servant and had to obey. -Yes, Uncle, immediately. I took off his brown leather slippers and stared at his really wonderful feet. They were the best pair of feet I've ever seen.

Perfectly shaped, they were really large and had hypnotic and slightly hairy toes...

His soles would cover my whole face because of their wideness and I was in a

Deep contemplation of those divine feet. He started wiggling his toes and I could smell the intense cheese odor that came out of his feet... It was outstanding and I felt completely under the power of this man. I took his right foot between my hands and started to massage in a submissive and smooth way those feet...

The odor surrounded my nose and every while my Master moaned for he was completely relaxing and enjoying the massage... My eyes didn't leave the sight of his foot which was being massaged and pampered by my hands... -good job, my boy, continue like this... said my Master. -Yes Sir, as you order me... I'm completely under your will. My Master, suddenly, said something I wouldn't expected at all: - I see that you're enjoying serving and massaging my foot, boy, at least as me...

Why don't you kiss it and sniff his odor? At that point I couldn't control myself anymore and said: -If my Master allows me and orders me to do so, I will do it. And he said: -Then don't waste time anymore, do as I said NOW! KISS MY FOOT! - Yes Sir, I am under your will, I will do it now. And so I did. I kissed his manly and hypnotic foot. I close my eyes and touched with my lips his divine foot that took completely control of my personality and I felt under the great power of my Master. I inhaled deeply the odor and

I remained hypnotized...

My Master was enjoying his time and said: -Yes yes, keep it like this my servant... I hadn't been served like this for years... I used to have a lot of boys like you serving my feet, it seems that the role of Master suits me in a perfect way and my feet hypnotize people by taking control of them and forcing them to obey me... that's great! I was sniffing deeply my Master's soles and I said: -Yes Sir... You are the King, the Emperor of the world... You order and I obey without questioning...

My Master laughed in a noisy and dominant way and said: Yea boy that's right, now shut up and complete your job by sniffing and licking between my toes and cleaning my foot. And don't forget my left foot or you'll be punished, slave! -Yes Sir, whatever you want will be done. I passed my nose and my tongue between those hairy and meaty toes and I cleaned his foot completely by swallowing all the little black pieces of cotton that were in the spaces between the toes...

He then said: - Good job, boy, now work on my other foot! And by saying this he stamped on my face his left foot which was worshipped and served as the other one and I was more and more under the will of my Master, who was smiling and touching his big moustaches with his hand and observed me serving him... it seemed that He was laughing at me, his humble slave...

After cleaning and worshipping His feet, He ordered me to lie on the carpet and he passed his feet on my face like I was His personal door mat and he continued laughing. My nose at that time smelled just the odor of my Master's feet and I couldn't react, I just had to obey, serve and listen to my Master. He then said: -Now looks intensely at my feet and don't look at anything else, you have to think just about my feet and me, your Big Master and Boss, understood, my boy? -Yes Sir, my Emperor, sure... I passed the next 10 minutes staring at his smelly and hypnotic feet, dancing and wiggling in front of me... and I felt to be in a much lower level than my Master's, who now ruled and controlled me completely...

Every while he neared his foot to my face and I kissed it softly and submissively... It was wonderful. He then said: -Now I'll wear my slippers again and I'll walk around the house, you'll have to kiss each angle that I stamp on it! Do it boy! -Yes Sir, as you wish, my Lord. He wore his leather slippers and walked around the house and I kissed the entire floor, for my Master has walked on it and it was blessed...

He then let me worship again his feet and then walked bare feet around the house and I had to kiss the floor all over again... He made me kiss and smell his slippers, who were full of the smell of his feet, and that made me fall more at my Master's feet and will... 3 hours had passed since we entered His house and my Master said that it was getting late and that all I had to do now was to kiss his hand in sign of respect and make a promise. I kissed 3 times the hand of my Master and put it on my face, as to show Him His great domination on me...

He then said: -Now boy, listen to me. You have to be under My array whenever I want. You have to give Me your phone number and anytime I call you have to be ready to receive My orders, now I am your Master and I rule you. You'll serve Me at least 3 times a week and you have to be completely free for Me. Is that clear, My boy? -Yes Sir, that's clear, I'm under Your Will... -That's great. Now lie completely on the floor and kiss each of my top foot 10 times to greet your Master in a dignified and respectful way. I kissed

His wonderful tops 20 times and I kept on saying: I'm under Your Will, Sir Selah... completely... He then drove me back to my house... It has been a wonderful experience and I've finally discovered my Master Salah, whom I had to serve faithfully from now on...

I was tired and I went straight to bed so that the next day I would have been ready for the new dispositions that my Master would give me.

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sashi-ya · 3 years

Text

Living with the Pirates of Heart ~Day 8: Garchuu! ~

Hi babies! So, here we are with day8 of this series. I have to apologize for the non daily updates, but here I am with a new short story. This time the shot tells about Law's arrival to Zou. (This actually happens after this fic - Warning: NSFW - Spicy Week Event)

A/N: Reader is Law's girlfriend. It is a mix in between comedic & angst & fluff. I apologize in advance for the sweet fluffy and angsty ending.

WC: 1.2K

Day 1; Day 2; Day 3; Day 4; Day 5; Day 6 ; Day 7; Day 8; Day 9; Day 10

Tag list: @rivvd-art

Day 8: Garchuu! ~

“Captain, we are having a banquet to celebrate your return” you tell your boyfriend, messing with him, because you know he actually hates parties. Law looks at you pissed; you clearly have interrupted his “planning sessions”. Yet, even if he hates it, he has a soft spot for you. He can’t say no to you… “Now?” he asks, standing up from the wooden desk. “Uhum…”. “Ok” he sighs and walks to you.

While walking, you have the best -worst- idea you could ever have… “Babe, here you greet people by saying <Garchu>, not hello or hi, ok?”. You giggle a little but keep the laughter inside. The surgeon looks at you, suspiciously but simply accepts it.

A huge table full of food and fluffy animals awaits you. Law takes his hat and holding it in his hand bends a little forward and… “Garchu” he says, smiling to the ground. Bepo’s ears twitch, you glance at Pen and Shachi anticipating their faces...

Every single fluffy mink stands up and runs towards Law. “Garchuu!!!”, “Garchu chuuu!”. Law’s cheeks completely squeezed, desperate eyes trying to look out for help. You can’t stop laughing at such a cute image; Law being trapped around multiple hairy hugs. Dogs, cats, lions, bears, even those you can’t recognize at all are there too.

You know Law loves fluffy animals, and that also loves to be crushed by them. That’s why he usually sleeps with Bepo. (Yeah, he still does sometimes… even though you are an already established couple. You don’t mind, though. It’s really cute to see him snuggling to Bepo’s white fur). But this is extremely overwhelming for him, so you intercept before the minks end up sliced up. “Ok ok, Law’s still a little hurt from the battle at Dressrosa guys!” you tell them, and quickly everybody let himself go.

“Sorry, Law!”. “Sorry, bro!”. “Can I still lick him, though?”. “NO! Don’t you dare put that tongue on my face ever again!” He points to a mink dog.

He sits, angry as hell with you for not telling him about this special welcoming habit. “So… did you lik…” you wanna ask, but he lifts his hand up, so you shut the fuck up. “Shut up, just… please shut up” he says, and bites some type of meat out of the table. You have to bite your own lips not to laugh like fucking crazy, especially while glancing at your crew mates. None of them can’t stop laughing, they all know how much Law hates, and secretly enjoys, that type of interaction.

“But Law… you love fluffy things” you insist. Law’s caramel cheeks turn burning red. “I…. don’t”. “Aaah come on, come here… Garchuuuu ~” you tell him, rubbing your cheek against his. He does not take you apart, if there is something he likes is your skin being pressed against his…

A rabbit bites his ears, a goat keeps offering him food. Loud music all over, people partying and enjoying themselves. Law likes a little party, but after all he’s been through the last few days, this doesn’t feel good… He actually thinks being in the Thousand Sunny go it’s actually more peaceful than this.

And because that isn’t enough, a little monkey jumps in between the two of you. He starts jumping on Law’s lap, trying to give him a banana. You laugh at it, “Hi!! Hi!”. “Look Law, Mugiwara has just left but here is someone to replace him” you tease him. Law’s eyelids twitch, he grits his teeth… Luffy stresses Law to no extent. He loves the little monkey gum gum boy like a brother, but oh boy… too much for him.

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I’M OVER!” he shouts, stands up and hits the table with his inked hands. “Babe…” you whisper, you know exactly Law has a limited amount of patience for social interaction and you have surpassed it by way too much.

Law walks away all pissed off. He hates to admit he likes the animals, but everything seems to overwhelm him… and you realize about it a little too late. Bepo stands up, he knows his brother is not feeling ok. Pen and Shachi too. “(Name), would it be ok if we go?” they ask. “Guys don’t worry. It’s my fault… I’m gonna go talk to him” you tell them, clearly taking the blame.

You walk through the humid streets of the devastated city, poor Minks… they have lost his ancient city just because of that fucking Kaido pirates… Law’s vivre card points towards the big “Whale tree”. Over it a pretty rainbow created by the remaining drops of water Zunīshahas splashed all over his back. Even if everything looks ruined, for some reason the place feels so magical. There is something in the atmosphere that makes the place sacred, mystical, special.

The paper on the palm of your hand, that holds a little piece of Law’s soul, vibrates intensely. Law is right there, sitting over a little rock, contemplating the marvelous scenery of this island. Grey eyes fixed on the horizon.

You come closer, no talking. Yet, he knows you are there… Maybe it is because of his observation Haki, maybe because of the string that holds your souls together. You sit on his side, silently and put your head over his shoulder. You can feel the lump of emotions on his chest. It must be so difficult for him. He went and faced his past, his traumas, everything. He was prepared to die, just to fulfill his revenge against Doflamingo.

“I’m sorry…” you whisper. “You were trying to make me laugh, don’t worry…” he says, eyes glossy as tears begin to form. “Yeah, but still…” you say, planting a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“You know… I spoke to… uh… admiral. Ex admiral, Sengoku” he suddenly confesses, while fidgeting his fingers. You freeze. You were not sure if you wanted or not to hear what he was going to say next, but you still let him speak. “He… was like… Cora-San’s dad, you know?” a little tear falls through his cheek. “Oh…” you say, wiping the tear off. “I asked him about the will of D… maybe he had a clue… maybe he had any idea why Cora saved me…”.

You still don’t understand why Law needs explaining about it, Rosinante loved him and that’s it.

“And what did he say?” you ask him, as both of you press your foreheads together. “He... uhm… said that… I should never attach a reason to the love I’ve received”. Tears sprout from his crystalline eyes. “And he is right, babe… you deserve all the love. Rosinante loved you, it doesn’t matter whether you were a D or not, you were just a sick kid… he loved you”.

Law shyly smiled, there was a glimpse of peace in his eyes… a much-needed peace and closure. “I love you, dummy…” you whisper, kissing his wet eyes. “I love you, too… with no reason at all, just because I do” he says back.

Law had finally understood what loving means…

And now you start running because Zunisha is splashing water all over again. “FUCK THE FLOODS!”. “RUN!!”. Both of you run to a higher place, holding hands, and laughing out loud. After all, being at Zou was like a little vacation for you all… ♥~

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fahhhhq · 3 years

Text

Never Say Never - Part 5

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader (Fem)

WaRnInGs: Explicit content and imagery. Sex. (Don’t read if you’re not mature enough to handle hot and heavy situations😛)

Summary: The connection between you and Henry is indescribable, but will both of you continue with what you’re doing or will your fear of everything get the best of you.

Thank you for reading, whoever reads this. Love you, my babies🤍

To be honest, you had never had sex in a shower, and you would be lying if that wasn’t the best sex you had had in your life. After both you and Henry had the most amazing orgasms, you finished washing yourselves. You grabbed some towels for both of you, you wrapped a towel around your head and around your body, but convinced Henry to do the same to his hair, after you teased him.

“Come on, it’s just you and me,” you poke at his side as he dries himself.

He wraps a towel around his waist and stands behind you, both of you looking into the mirror, “Fine.”

“Weee,” you say excitedly and grab a clean towel and turn to him expectantly. Instead, he rolls his eyes and shakes his head like a dog when you get close to him. “Henry!” you squeal and grin.

He laughs and stops, “Fine.” He whips his head forward and you wrap the towel around his hair. He lifts and he looks adorable, but sexy as fuck.

“Oh my, god, you look fucking cute,” you excitedly say and run to the room and grab your phone. You run back to the bathroom and he is waiting for you with a hand on his hip, smiling. “Pose,” you say grinning and he does. He mimics flipping his hair back and he cannot hold back his laughter, and neither can you.

“The things you make me do,” he sauntered towards you and you do not move. You were still not used to him wanting to touch and hug you all the time, because you were not a very touchy-feely person, but that was changing every time Henry touched you.

“What else should I make you do,” you fake a thinking face. When he got close you, you set your phone down and place your hands on his taut stomach and travelled up to his chest. You did not like hairy men, but for some reason, you thought this man was perfect, hairy and all. His body was trim, and his height added a menacing demeanor that drove you crazy. His broad shoulders and chest were glistened under the bathroom lights like if he had been lying in the sun for hours.

Henry grabs your chin with his finger and his lifts your head, “You can make me do whatever you want, and I’d still say, ‘what else?’”

You look straight into his sapphire eyes and he is serious. Your heart teeters. Your only response is to give him a no holds bar kiss. Your lips fit perfectly to his. He gives a hungry moan, and he hugs you harder towards him. You know your lips are swollen from so much making out, but nothing compares to kissing this man.

You moan into his mouth and he separates from you and gives you a warning look, “If you keep making sounds like those, I’ll be tempted to make this last all night.”

You giggle and bite your lip, “No, I’m sooo sensitive, if you would of touch me right now, I’d come in ten seconds.” You do not care if it was too much information, it was the truth.

He pecks you lips, “Fine, but I’m not responsible for what happens in the morning.” He winks at you and slaps your ass before exiting the bathroom. You are left with your mouth agape and speechless. You walk out and he’s putting on his briefs, the towel still in his head. The muscles in his back moving with every movement he makes. You just stare and try to not get wet, again. You grab the boxers and tank you were wearing before Henry discarded them and put them on. Henry turns off the light from his side of the room, lays under the blankets and motions for you to join him.

“Wait, you’re sleeping here?” you didn’t mean to sound so surprised; you were more excited than anything.

He does not seem offended, he just gifts you a cheeky closed-lip smile, displaying his dimple and nods, “Is that ok?”

You playfully roll your eyes, “Fine, but just because I like you.” He grins and you playfully stick out your tongue at him. “I’ll be back,” You go to the bathroom and do your nightly routine. Just because Henry was waiting for you in bed, that didn’t mean you were going to set aside your beauty regime. You dry and put oils in your hair, moisturize your face and body and make sure you smell nice.

You walk into the bedroom and Henry is already tucked in without the towel in his hair and checking something on his phone. You close the drapes, turn off the lights and get in bed like if you had gotten ready for bed with Henry a million times before.

“I’m so freaking tired,” you say as you scooch over to him. He wraps an arm behind your head. He puts his phone in the table next to him and when he turns, he engulfs you in a bear hug.

“I’m sorry I wore you out,” Henry looks at you, smiling. He is so close to you that your breaths intermingle with one another.

You snuggle into him and run your nose alongside his jaw and neck, “You definitely did, but I don’t mind.”

He hooks his right leg on top of your leg, and you place your leg between his. He kisses your forehead and hugs you closer to him. As if there was any more space.

“When do you leave for Italy?” he says after a while. You were almost asleep, but his question disrupts it.

You look up and he stares straight into your brown eyes, worrisome in his, “In three days, why?”

“Ok,” He nods and looks away, “Can we spend those days together?”

You separate yourself away from him a little, and he seems concerned, “Really?” you cannot help to sound surprised.

“I don’t know if we’re going to see each other again after that, so I want to spend all the time I can with you before you leave,” he says genuinely and your heart swells.

“I would love nothing more, if that’s what you want,” you say as you caress his chin.

“That’s what I want,” He smiles and bites your thumb, the one that was now touching his lower lip. You yelp playfully. He grabs your hand and kisses your palm. “Go to sleep now, sweet girl. I have a signing tomorrow at noon and I want you to go with me.”

You look at him with what can only be explained as a puzzled look, “Wait what? Really?”

“Yes,” he chuckles, “Is that too forward?”

“I mean, a little,” You sit up a bit, this was moving too fast, you wanted to spend time with him, but you weren’t ready to be seen with him in that magnitude. Having that much attention for “dating” someone was not something that sounded appealing to you.

“You don’t have to be in there with me, we can meet afterwards,” his hands still around you, not wanting more space between the two of you.

“Yeah, that sounds better,” you say and lay down again.

Henry’s grin was all that you needed to have sweet dreams, “Brilliant. Now rest, it’s 3:30 a.m.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Sir, you’re the one keeping me up.” He tries to grab you by the waist to tickle you, but you grab his hands stopping him. “I will kill you,” You try your hardest to sound serious but fail miserably, he does, too.

“Fine,” he suppresses his laugh, “I’ll let you sleep.”

“Thank you,” you say smiling and you feel the butterflies in your stomach going crazy. You give him a peck on the lips, but he does not like that, he pulls you towards him and you let him. The kiss is deep and filled with longing. As you divide from each other, you sigh a deep sigh. You lay back and turn the other way, so he’s spooning you. Which he likes. He wraps a strong around your midriff and sets his leg atop yours. It feels like a 50-pound weighted blanked was just draped on top of you, and you welcome the heaviness.

“Sweet dreams,” he coos into your ear, kissing your neck. You intertwine your fingers with his, not yet ready to let him go either.

------

You wake up with jolt. You were too hot. But then you understand why you are feeling that way when you look down. Henry is almost completely on top of you. His head on your chest, his strong arm around your stomach and his right leg wrapped over yours. Only a sliver of sunshine coming in through the curtains.

You smile to yourself. The night before was not a dream, it was real. You pass your fingers through his curls, careful not to wake him. You stare at the ceiling, remembering everything that had happened last night: the dinner, the drinking, the laughing, the orgasms. Your stomach doing summersaults at the thought of how good he was at fucking you. He stirs a bit, and your hand stops caressing his hair. He rolls to his back, finally giving you some room to breathe. He takes a deep breath and exhale with a snore.

You roll to your side and look at him. This man was molded by the god’s himself and he walked around like if was just another regular person. You couldn’t help but stare at him sleeping so serenely. You lift your hand to his face as quietly as you can. With your index finger you slowly trace across his strong jaw, to his beautifully pouty lips, then down his sharp jaw, you trace the dimple on his chin, then down his neck, over his Adam’s apple, to the hair that caresses the dip between his collar bones and big chest.

You splay your hand over his hairy chest, and feel his chest rise and fall slowly. But then out of nowhere his hand covers yours. He doesn’t say anything, because he’s still asleep. You happily leave it there.

You gently look over to the close and see that it’s 10:30 a.m. You struggle with the decision to wake him up, so he can get ready to go to the signing or stay there a little longer and wake him up like he has probably never been woken up before. You go with the latter.

You gently pull your hand from under his, he does not move. You look down and see his morning wood straining his briefs. A Cheshire smile exhibits across your face and dirty thoughts freely travel your mind.

next parttttt here

Taggity Tags🤍: @tapismyforte, @xxxkatxo, @stephartrave, @summersong69, @viking-raider, @nie-die-richtigen-wortex

#baby daddy #henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #fanfic

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gaybarbiegirl · 3 years

Text

00s Barbie rewatch - Magic of Pegasus (2005)

Now here's a movie I haven't watched in a while

The snowy atmosphere of this movie is so pretty

"The princess is missing!" "Again?" already starting off with some good dialogue

Why is this bear wearing mascara?

THE BEAR SPEAKS BABYTALK, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

"Sparkle parkle" - Shiver, 2005

Hi, background Nalu

Wenlock is the grossest Barbie villain, I don't wanna deal with him for an hour and a half

Go Brietta, to the rescue!

Ok but what is cloud kingdom? Does anyone actually know?

Like, is the whole kingdom just... one castle? And the whole population is just three children and some horses? I don't think this classifies as a kingdom

And if there are more people, where are they? Who are they? What do they do?

Actually, what does anyone in this place do? Is painting the clouds pretty colors really that important of a job that it requires the existence of a whole kingdom dedicated to just doing that?

Also, who is the cloud queen? How is there a royal lineage of cloud people when there are so few of them? And what does she even rule over, if her whole kingdom is just three children and some clouds?

I'm so confused, help

"We've never had a real person here before"??? Excuse me??? What do you mean? If you're not people, then what the hell are you?

Why doesn't Annika question any of this? You're in a castle in the clouds with a bunch of pegasi, three not people, and the queen of nothing in particular, and you have 0 questions?

I know I'm not the first person to bring this up, but the age gap between Annika and Brietta is too big to make sense

Brietta is SO traumatised by the whole ordeal with Wenlock, I've always felt so bad for her

"That's only three things!" That's the positivity I'm trying to have in life

The cloud queen is just a less sapphic version of the fairy queen from swan lake

The whole concept of Wenlock's enslaved ex wives is so disturbing and heavy, I'm surprised it made it into a children's movie

Like, these are women he forces into marriage and very likely abuses for years until he gets tired of them. Then he transforms them into little slave gremlins that can't speak or fight back against him in any way, and keeps on verbally and phisically abusing them whenever they don't do as he pleases. That's some really dark stuff, especially when you consider that Annika and Brietta could have had same fate

Annika and Aidan have some good banter, I will admit

"Is she crazy?" "Apparently :/"

Sometimes I forget this was supposed to be a 3D movie, and then the random vegetable chopping scene makes me remember

Lucky thing that ribbon happened to be exactly as tall as Annika, or else they'd be missing that measure of courage

Why is the bear crushing on a human? This is weird

Are we 100% sure shiver is a bear and not just a very hairy toddler?

I don't know why the visual of this man being turned into a carpet is so disturbing, but it is

Can horses walk down stairs?

Shiver nearly killed every character in this movie with her sparkle parkle

And now she's rubbing herself on Aidan, what??

Someone get a hold of this bear

Brietta sacrificing her crown 🥺

Once again, I liked the transformed version of the character better than the human version. RIP pegasus Brietta

Imagine if Wenlock just turned Brietta back right then and there, and she only got to be human again for like, 5 minutes

Annika was really not burried that deep, was she? It took less then 30 seconds of digging to reach her

Now I'm laughing, Wenlock really pulled that whole little show with the ground and the avalanche only to burry Annika in 40cm of snow

WAIT WAIT WAIT, THE CLOUD CHILDREN CONTROL TIME????

No, wait, hold on, wait, stop, stop, no, you can't just drop that bomb on me and keep on moving as if nothing happened

What do you mean painting the clouds controls time???? How??? Why???

And if that's such an important job, why are there just three children doing it?

I'm losing my mind, that's it, cloud kingdom broke me

How did Brietta know where Wenlock's lair was and what it looked like? Has she been there before?

Look at them having a little skating match while the cloud children are CONTROLLING TIME

Shiver, this is no time for sparkle parkle

Why do we keep bringing this bear to high stakes situations?

How did Aidan survive that fall? And with a gem in his pocket that didn't fall off or break?

I love how Wenlock's wives were supposed to be the most beautiful women in the land, but because this is 2005 3D animation, they barely even have faces

Honestly "the wand of light doesn't grant spells that harm others" would have been a much better explanation than "the wand of light doesn't work when you're mad"

Why is there an outdoor ice skating rink in the clouds? Has it been there the whole time? Does anyone in cloud kingdom even know how to ice skate?

The cloud queen turned the wand into a star? Since when can she do that? What are this woman's powers?

For the sake of my mental health, I have decided to stop asking questions about cloud kingdom

Final thoughts:

This one is... a movie. Like, don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun rewatching it, and it has a lot of really cool elements, but it's also the most confusing Barbie movie I watched this far, and by a lot. I hadn't watched this movie in almost two years, and I can tell you I did not remember it being this weird.

I'm not gonna repeat all of my questions here, since they're already written above, but I feel like this movie left me so confused I can barely conjure up some cohesive thoughts for this final portion. Just yeah, Annika's optimism is cool, Aidan is a decent love interest, I liked Brietta better as a horse, I liked how dark the movie could get sometimes, and now cloud kingdom will haunt my nightmares for years. I still loved it, though.

#barbie #barbie movies #barbie liveblogs #barbie magic of pegasus

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lu-undy · 3 years

Note

Cats sometimes bring rats or bugs for "gift" to their hoomans.. So Pearl brings Lu a rat proudly and he terrifies. Is it okay for a request?

Here it is!

"Lu'? I'm home!"

"Finally!" A voice answered from the kitchen. "I was starting to worry…!"

Mundy removed his shoes and his coat before going to his lover in the kitchen.

"What's cookin'?" He asked, and a smile appeared on his lips, only because the sight of his lover brought peace to him. Lucien was wearing a white shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a dark blue pair of trousers. He had an apron laced around his thin waist.

"Not even a hello or a 'how are you' ? I am starting to think that you prefer the food over me." Lucien joked as he was busy stirring something in a saucepan. Mundy came behind him and gently kissed his cheek from behind as he hugged him. “Here, taste this for me please.” Lucien raised the wooden spoon to his own lips first to gently blow on it before moving it to Mundy’s pouting lips.

"Well, what can I say? Not only it tastes amazin’, but it also smells bloody good." Mundy rested his chin on Lucien's shoulder as he watched him cook, his arms still laced around the thin waist he loved.

"The food or me?"

"Stop actin' jealous… I'm talkin' about both." Mundy added a few more kisses down Lucien's neck and the Frenchman started laughing. "You ticklish, jealous, gorgeous doll of a man…"

Lucien put the wooden spoon he was holding aside and turned to Mundy, splaying his hands on his chest. He was smiling wide, looking up to the reason his heart was beating so fast.

"How was work today?"

"Not too bad…" The tall Aussie bent down to kiss his lover's lips. "But I'm happy to be back home. Been missin' you."

"So have I. Do you mind laying the table, please? The soup will be ready any minute now."

"Sure." They exchanged a smile and Mundy got to work, coming and going from the kitchen to the living-room and vice versa. "Oh, let me put more water for Pearl."

Mundy noticed that the cat's water bowl was empty. He took it off of the floor and filled it again.

"Meow!"

The fluffy white feline entered the kitchen and trotted to Mundy. When she reached him, she stood on her back legs, meowing and asking for attention.

"Hey, baby… Here, more water for you."

"Meow!"

"Yeah, I know, c'mere…" Mundy crouched down to carry her in his arms. "Been missin' Dad, eh?" He scratched her and kissed her, standing back up.

"Meow…!" Perle leaned on his shoulder and purred, half-closing her deep blue eyes.

"Yeah, I know, baby, I know. Did she have dinner already?" He asked Lucien.

"Oui, she did." Lucien answered as he served the soup in two bowls.

"Alright, want a treat then?" Mundy went to a cupboard and opened it before his hand dived in a jar.

"Meow…" Perle raised her head as she recognised the melody that usually preceded a treat.

"Here, baby cat." He put it in front of her mouth and she gladly ate it. "Yeah, good girl, good baby." Mundy kissed her.

"Dinner is ready, mon amour."

[My love]

"Oh, Dad's dinner's ready. You go and be a good girl, yeah?" Mundy crouched down and released her. Perle trotted straight to the French window and politely sat down. That was her way of asking to open it. "Wanna go in the garden? Sure, here…" Mundy slid the French window open and the white cloud slithered out.

“You may leave the window open, a bit of fresh air will not hurt.” Lucien said.

“Sure, luv’. Let me take the bowls…” Mundy took them and moved to the living room where he found his lover serving water and wine before sitting down.

“Here, some bread, mon amour.”

[my love]

“Thanks, Lu’. So, what’ve you been up to while I was away?”

The discussion went on as the soup slowly evaporated from their bowls. It wasn’t very cold anymore, winter was gone and spring was well established. Mundy wished it could come faster. He preferred the hot and scorching sun rather than the blue, ice cold weather of winter. Now that he thought about it, he liked ice blue only in one thing, namely, the colour of his lover’s eyes.

“I went to shop for some groceries at the market.” Lucien went on.

“Did you take Pearl with you?”

“Oui, this time she wanted to come along. She behaved very well and managed to resist the urge to jump on the sardines when she saw them.”

“That’s progress I guess.” Mundy chuckled.

“Indeed. So as a reward, I bought her some and fried them for her with a bit of cumin and paprika. She loved it.”

“You don’t need to cook for the kitty, we’re giving her food, and the expensive stuff at that.”

“But wouldn’t you be bored of canned food? It is nice to bring a bit of diversity to her. Besides, she absolutely loved it. I might do it more often.”

“Hold on, you said you bought some fish at the market, right?”

“Oui.”

“Did that fisherman sheila say anythin’ to you again?”

“She might have.” Lucien cocked a smug eyebrow.

“I knew it… Next time, I’ll go with you and if I have to kiss you then and there for her to stop flirtin’ with you, I bloody will!”

“Ooh, how the tables have turned. Back in the kitchen I was the jealous one, but listen to you now, hm?”

“I’m not jealous, she just needs to get it in that thick skull of hers that you’re taken, and that’s that.”

Lucien chuckled and slid his foot under the table closer to Mundy’s, gently brushing his leg against his.

“I love seeing you jealous like this…” The Frenchman admitted with a lovestruck, lazy grin.

“Yeah, well. I get people, they see you and you’re gorgeous. Nice suit, handsome face and beautiful body too. But they gotta understand that you’re not for takin’. I got my hands on you and I’m not ready to let you go.”

“Neither am I.” Lucien answered. “Go and get a change to be more comfy if you want. I will deal with the dishes.”

“You sure?”

“Oui, go ahead.”

“Might as well take a shower too if that’s ok?”

“Take your time, mon chéri.”

[my darling]

Lucien stood up and started collecting the empty dishes on the table when Mundy pulled him away from his waist to hold him close and kiss him.

“I’ll be quick, you behave for me, yeah?” Mundy held his chin between his fingers.

“Anything for you, Mundy.” Lucien’s eyes crossed on the Aussie’s lips. They stretched in a smile. The tall man added a quick peck to his lover’s brow and left him.

Lucien exhaled in a long and longing sigh when his lover disappeared up the stairs before turning to the table and resuming what he was doing.

Upstairs, Mundy went to the bathroom and started stripping naked as he started the shower. He was standing in nothing but his boxer shorts when he heard a loud and high pitched scream coming from downstairs. Without a second thought and leaving the shower still flowing, Mundy spun on his heels and darted back downstairs.

“What’s wrong? Lu’?!”

When Mundy made it in the living-room again, he found Lucien standing up on a chair and leaping to get higher up on the table.

“What is it?!” The Aussie exclaimed, seeing his lover hunched and scared.

“It’s Perle!”

“What’s wrong with her?” Mundy got closer to the lady cat who was standing at the chair’s foot.

“She has a mouse in her mouth!” Lucien yelled, terrified.

“Oh…” Mundy started chuckling. “C’mere, show Dad what you got, yeah?”

Perle turned to Mundy and trotted to him before releasing the dead rodent on the floor. Mundy crouched down and petted her head, scratching her repeatedly.

“Are you not scared?”

“Nah, it’s dead, it’s not gonna run to you, come down, Lu’.”

“Why did she go and get a mouse?!”

“It’s a gift.” Mundy answered.

“A gift?!” Lucien exclaimed.

“Yeah, c’mere, pretty girl, yeah, you did great… Look at Papa…” Mundy chuckled more. “You got him scared, eh?”

“Meow…” Perle’s answer was rolled on her purr.

“Yeah, he doesn’t really like mice. Next time bring him some flowers, yeah?”

“Meow.”

“A gift...?” Lucien repeated as he landed from the table to the chair and finally the ground.

“Yeah, I guess she was happy ‘cause you cooked her the sardines. She just wanted to say thanks.” Mundy stood back up.

“Mon Dieu…” He put a hand on his mouth.

“C’mere…” Lucien approached and took a comically long detour around the dead mouse on the floor. Mundy laced an arm around his lover when he finally arrived against him. “I didn’t know you were scared of mice.”

“They are dirty and carry diseases.” Lucien buried his head deeper in Mundy’s bare, hairy chest.

“You shouldn’t have reacted like that to Pearl. Poor baby didn’t understand why you were scared shitless when she brought you a gift.”

“Well, it is a mouse, Mundy, not a bouquet of roses…”

Mundy chuckled.

“Oh c’mon. You gotta say thanks.”

“Do I? Won’t that encourage her to bring me more dead rodents?”

“It might, but a gift’s a gift. And she went out of her way to hunt down something especially for you. You have to thank her, darl’.”

“Fine…” Lucien crouched down and Perle naturally came to him. He scratched her and heard her purr. “Merci, mon bébé. I am sorry I reacted this way. Now I know that you meant to offer something.”

[Thank you, my baby]

“Meow…”

"Oui, mon bébé. Papa is sorry…” Perle stood on her back paws and Lucien carried her in his arms as he stood back up. “Is there any way I can make it up to her?”

“What about some fish?” Mundy asked and Perle’s head swooshed to him.

“Meow?”

“Yeah, what if Dad cooked some more fish for you, yeah?”

“Non.” Lucien answered.

“What?”

“I cook the fish, you get rid of the dead mouse... Non, Mundy! What are you doing?! Don’t touch it with your hands! What if it bears the plague?!”

“Oh you sissy, it’s just a mouse…” Mundy picked it up from its tail and went to the French window before throwing it far in the garden. He came back and washed his hands thoroughly. “There, Princess Lu’ can breathe normally now, the mouse is out.”

“Are you sure it will not come back?” Lucien skittishly peeked his head in the kitchen where Mundy was wiping his hands. He held Perle in his arms dearly, like a child does a Teddy bear to bring some comfort.

“Meow!” Perle’s pupils blew wide when she saw Dad open the big white box of cold food and take the fish out of it. “Meow…!”

“Lu’, it was dead. Now unless Medic’s out there experimentin’ on it behind our backs, I don’t think it will come back, nah.”

“You are sure it was dead and not pretending?” Lucien insisted.

“Oh, Lu’!” Mundy stopped what he was doing dead and Lucien hunched his back.

“What?” He whispered, looking everywhere around him.

“Listen! I think I heard the mouse’s Dead Ringer…” Mundy said before bursting into laughter.

“Mundy…!”

Lucien crouched to free Perle and-

“Oh, what was that for?” Mundy put a hand on his shoulder where Lucien had gently punched him.

“Mocking my Dead Ringer. It was a very precious tool!”

“Oh, come on… Oh-ho, are you that scared?” Lucien had slid to Mundy’s arms and was clinging to his naked skin, sandwiched between the kitchen top and his lover.

“Do not mock me, not only does it carry diseases but it was dead and disgustingly decomposing, ew!” Lucien pulled his nose and winced.

Mundy chuckled and laced an arm around him.

“Right, stay here stuck to me like a snail while I make the kitty her fish.”

“Meow…” Perle had jumped on the counter and raised her paw to the plate of fresh sardines.

“Perle, non, don’t touch it.” Lucien said.

She brought her paw closer to the fish.

“Pearl…” Mundy added, and the lady cat removed her paw. She sat down and licked her chops repeatedly.

“She listens to you better than she does me.”

“Well, like her Papa…” Mundy started. “She likes authority sometimes.” He put a pan on the stove and started the fire before adding a drizzle of olive oil in it.

Lucien blushed when he raised his eyes and saw Mundy winking at him.

#tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sniperspy

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vvorldtours · 4 years

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i finally drew out my sam and max gijinkas and i have a LOT to talk about them so there’s more about them under the cut :)c

OKAY. LIKE i said there is a lot. here’s the reference picture for the first picture

anyways. okay long stuff. here’s the simple stuff

Sam: Puerto Rican, no-op trans man and bisexual (he/she)

Max: Peruvian/Nicaraguense, non-binary transmasc (he/shey/they/it) and gay

okay so i’m gonna start with:

sam! there isn’t really much about sam since most of his design revolves around whats canon. but anyways heres none of that: sam is nuerodivergent/has adhd and is a second generation immigrant (which max is as well). sam stims though not as visibly as max does and will tend to get really hyperfocused on cases

also about sam being a trans man he used use solely he/him but being around max helped him in being more gnc and getting to be comfortable with it and uses she/her as well :+)

sam’s appearance is a little more rugged but he has a nice smile where the corners of his eyes will wrinkle up when he really grins. :) he has a little more wrinkles than what max does and he has a tooth gap in his two front teeth. honestly he just has rugged detective vibes but it’s never actually noticeable until max and he are separated. sam doesn’t really tend to shave so he’s relatively hairy though he does shave his face every now and then. also he’s fat and has bear body because it’s canon and i think it’s a nice feature that both of them r fat!

max is a lot more complex! i’m still between on what to make max and nicaraguense is the default i tend to make most characters but i don’t think he’s nicaraguense. i feel he could be peruvian but i’m not sure if i’m fully set on that. like i said he’s also a second gen immigrant!

max is a non-binary transmasc. he mostly just uses he/him pronouns but when you first meet him and you ask him for his pronouns and he won’t answer until you start listing pronouns and he keeps saying yes to all of them and he won’t stop until you give up or sam finally intervenes and says ‘oh yeah we mostly just use he/him though.’

max’s hair is typically unruly, though you COULD straighten it out if you tried. it’s bleached white aside from the roots where you can see a bit of dark brown/black hair poking out. however, there’s this one part of his hair that just seems to have a mind of its own and it’s just these two strands of hair that stick up on its own. max likes to call them his devil horns while sam thinks they look like rabbit ears. haha.

also more on his appearance: he has a crooked smile that leans more to the left and typically wide eyes that he just stares at you with. his teeth are sharpened though nobody really knows if they’re like that or if he actually gotten them sharpened himself. either way they hurt. ow. max isn’t really good at shaving so he tends to have a lot of facial hair that’s just littered on his face and it’s mostly because his hands are too shaky to hold the razor still. he has a tie hanging around his neck that’s never actually tied and it’s mostly there for stim reasons and just to play with. also he is chubby!

max is also nuerodivergent and he definitely has adhd. he wears loose clothes because anything tighter is bad sensory wise. also he tends to rock back and forth and shake his hands a lot. stim momence :)

ok i think thats everything. there’s a lot i feel like i’m missing but also i’m tired of writing this. anyways neither of them are white, cishet, or neurotypical. god bless <3

#sam and max #sam and max freelance police #samfp #trad art #my art #gijinkas

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grimelords · 4 years

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So since the last time I posted one of these the entire world has changed dramatically and hopefully 4 hours of music will tide you over in quarantine for a bit longer. Strangely I’ve been busier than ever, and what started as a personal challenge to listen to a new album every day in February turned into me listening to 116 new albums in March and 124 in April. I’ve got a stacked google doc full of star ratings and dates now and it’s really been a lot of fun, I highly recommend trying it yourself. This is my March playlist, because I accidentally took a month off, and I’m thinking of either switching these playlists to weekly to make them a little more digestible or just dropping them whenever. Who knows. Let me know what you think and drop album recommendations in the comments please.

Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

If you’d like to receive these playlists in a more digestible email format, please subscribe to my tinyletter here: http://tinyletter.com/grimelords

On A Slow Boat To China - Bing Crosby & Peggy Lee: Ok first off it’s amazing this song isn’t more racist. I don't remember now how or why I came across this. I think I was just thinking about crooners and how as a genre it's now existed in common popularity as a nostalgic idyll of a mytholigised past far longer than it was ever actually popular which is interesting. The origin of this song, according to wikipedia, is also one of the most 40s ideas I've ever read: "I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China" was a well-known phrase among poker players, referring to a person who lost steadily and handsomely. The idea being that a "slow boat to China" was the longest trip one could imagine. Loesser moved the phrase to a more romantic setting, yet it eventually entered general parlance to mean anything that takes an extremely long time".

Fight Night - Migos: I saw that Offset had some new show on Quibi the extremely fake sounding streaming service and I thought "how did Migos get so world conqueringly large that they get to make 10 minute shows nobody will watch for a $2 billion venture capital funded app that will never make any money?" They seem to have this massive reputation without having much to back it up. The last thing I remember everyone talking about was how Culure II was two hours long in order to game streaming numbers and was simply not good. They seemed to have sort of settled into making background music for scrolling instagram. But then I remembered Fight Night and I thought: "oh wait, that's right, Migos are fucking great". Where their other big hits like Bad And Boujee and Walk It Talk It have this sort of laid back vibe where they've comfortably nailed the formula and relax onto it, Fight Night commands your attention. StackboyTwan killed the beat - it has this propulsive momentum where it feels like it's constantly ramping up, moving up from the sidesick and bassline in the verse, up to the claps on the beat, and the big gang chants on the offbeat once the full instrumentation kicks in - then it just goes around and around and around with the constant bassline the whole tim. It's a perfect all-rise production because it never actually explodes, it's all building tension held down by an unchanging bassline.

Do It Puritan! - El Hombre Trajeado & Sue Tompkins: I am extremely delighted to announce that Sue Tompkins of one of my all time favourite single album bands Life Without Buildings has broken a nearly 20 year musical hiatus to appear on this song by El Hombre Trajeado. It is so nice to hear how her voice has changed and her approach has stayed the same. Her style is so unique and so good and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

5 8 6 - New Order: Before 'the incident' I had tickets to see New Order at the end of March and so I embarked on a big listen through of their discography, which has now unfortunately made it feel even worse that live music is cancelled indefinitely.

Oom Sha La La - Haley Heynderickx: First of all I love songs where they talking about how they're writing a song halfway through. And I love songs that seem like a pretty normal singer songwriter indie thing where someone just starts screaming near the end. I love this song. A great staring at the wall and absolutely losing your mind because you haven't done anything with your whole life anthem.

Elektrobank - The Chemical Brothers: Can you believe I've never listening to a full Chemical Brothers album before this month? Can you believe big beat ever went our of style? It feels insane that we ever swapped this sort of energy for the beige algorithm of EDM. I think there's a real triumph in this album, and in this track especially of replicating the live feeling in studio. Giving it this much space to grow and change and get very hairy near the end is amazing, it feels like it was just recorded live.

My Mind's A Ship (That's Going Down) - Katie Pruitt: It feels very rare to me that this sort of extremely smooth Nashville prduction actually makes a song better. It has a habit of strangling the life out of a song and making it blend into a boring paste of soundalikes, but with Katie Pruitt it works amazingly. Her songwriting is so distinct and clear and her voice, especially near the end where it punches hole in the sky, is so strong and so her own that it doesn't need anything else.

Water - Ohmme: "What if Tegan And Sara were a noise band instead?" is a question I didn't know I needed an answer to. I love any band that has the guts to write songs like this that sound like pop from an alternate history, so off kilter and odd and noisy but with this undeniable pop heart that the duo vocals make sound like schoolyard clapping chants remixed by Lightning Bolt.

Lions, Tigers and Bears - SLIFT: A friend put me on to Slift and described them as French King Gizz and really, I'm inclined to agree. This is the traditional long last song at the end of their new album, and as usual I am advocating that every song should be the long last song at the end of the album. I love this style of jam where everyone else goes to space but the rhythm section just digs in and works hard as fuck for ten minutes. Then the whole last 3 minutes of the song are just fat drone riffs. This song's got everything.

The Pines - 070 Shake: This 070 Shake album is unbeleivably good and it warms my heart to see the dark energy of The Pines live on through another century in yet another permutation. I have more to say about it later in the Jackson C Frank version coming up but it feels like this 070 Shake album kind of came and went but I implore you to listen, it’s an aoty contender for sure.

Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On - Funkadelic: If you can stop thinking about the intro, which I certainly can’t (Hey lady won’t you be my dog and I’ll be your tree and you can pee on me.) there is so much goodness in this song. For a while now I’ve been thinking about how, for lack of a better word, ‘positive’ music is consistently underrated in the critical canon. Dance music, disco and funk especially are derided as empty sugar music, while every cookie cutter metal band absolutely demands to be taken seriously. In dance music this manifests as genres like tech house sucking all the fun and individuality out of music until it’s just an endless parade of producers working to a schematic of the barest essentials. It feels like you can’t have fun and be taken seriously at the same time, which feels like an obvious contradiction but shouldn’t be!

Spoils - Dry Cleaning: Dry Cleaning are my Lock Of The Month Band To Watch In The Future Because They’re Gonna Go Off. They have such a great sound and I’m desperate for an album because I just need more. This song absolutely knocked me down when I first heard it. I love any band where it sounds like the singer has just wandered in while the rest of them were rehearsing. There’s a very good talking-songs movement happening in the UK right now between these guys, Do Nothing and Fontaines D.C and i’m excited to see where it progresses. I might put together a playlist a little later to show you what I mean.

As - Stevie Wonder: I finally listened to Songs In The Key Of Life this month, which is an experience I would recommend to everyone. This shit goes for 21 songs over 105 minutes and absolute bangs the whole way. The original release of this album was a double LP plus a 7", which is yet another reason I am grateful for streaming that I don't have to buy a damn box set to hear this thing.

Sleep Now In The Fire - Rage Against The Machine: I am working on a very niche playlist called Songs Where The Guitar Amp Accidentally Picks Up A Nearby Radio Station For A Couple Of Seconds and it's only 3 songs so far. A Man A Plan A Canal Panama by The Fall Of Troy, Melody 4 by Tera Melos and Sleep Now In The Fire by Rage Against The Machine. In every single one of those songs it feels like a critical component even though it's just an accident that's been left in because it sounds good. Here it's the perfect ending as the rage dies down and the commercial world fades back in. Anyway, my other question about this song is about the great Michael Moore directed video where they famously shut down Wall Street for an afternoon. There's a shot of a guy for a second holding a sign that says Donald Trump For President in 1999. Which is odd but not out of the question, he's been famous for a long time and there's always been freaks. My question is why the fuck did he have that sign that day? Was he amongst the Rage Against The Machine Fans that showed up? A counter protestor? Was he, perhaps most chillingly of all, just walking idly around Wall Street with his Donald Trump For President sign like usual and stumbled upon this whole hoo-haa accidentally?

Applause (Purity Ring Remix) - Lady Gaga: Did you fucking know that Purity Ring did a remix of Applause? If there’s something I’d love to know more about and it’s Purity Ring’s forays into pop production. After their first album they did some production for rappers like Danny Brown in the great track 25 Bucks, which is a good fit really - their sound is witch house with the tempo pushed back up, witch house of course just being chopped and screwed reinvented by tumblr users. So it’s a natural fit to take that new perspective back into the world of hip hop. They also did this fantastic remix of Applause after their first album. Then, after their second album they produced 3 songs for Katy Perry’s Witness album, and one Katy Perry song for a Final Fantasy mobile game soundtrack (?) and feel like the long silence and delay between their second and third albums is because of more behind the scenes pop production work - but if that’s true, where is it? Is it, as I suspect, part of my own personal Pepe Silvia, Katy Perry’s scrapped 2019 album that has vanished into thin air? Or is it part of Chromatica? I think Purity Ring have solidified an interesting place in pop, paving the way for Billie Eilish and Kim Petras’ dark anti-pop and so i’m excited to see where they go after this new album now that they’re the architects of the new wave.

React/Revolt - Drahla: The smartest thing you can do is add a saxophone to your band. The whole first half of this song could go for 20 minutes of growling screaming saxophone post-punk and I wouldn't mind. Then when the second half of the song kicks in it's fantastic in the way this whole Drahla album is: it's tight and sprawling post-punk at the same time with a complicated structure that seems to just pile onto itself instead of ever circling back.

And I Was Like - Porridge Radio: I'm seemingly having a real thing this month for songs that open with a bizzare acapella chant. Between this and the Funkadelic one it's a genre I'm very interested in hearing more of. Isaac Newton was a virgin and it's important to recognise that. The thing I love about this song is how it's in 3 distinc sections: Isaac Newton was a virgin, she's a birthday girl in a birthday world, and mum no please it's grunge, and they all feel like the concentrated energy of a 14 year old's thoughts. She sounds like she's almost crying when she sings 'she's a birthday girl in a birthday world'. The concentrated confusing teenaged energy of this song is just overwhelming.

Dirty Mattresses - Mama's Broke: So much of contemporary 'traditional folk' either exists as pure nostalgia music or as music that's trying too hard to be 'authentic' and evoke a mythology of a bygone time, but Mama's Broke manage to make it feel new and modern but honest and authentic at the same time. The super close harmonies and modern approach remind me of House And Land who I also love, but the songwriting is in another class entirely.

Building A House - CHOPCHOP: I don't know if you've ever seen Bad Boy Bubby but CHOPCHOP feels a little like the band that he ends up joining at the end. A musical ensemble built to enable the will of a very strange man. I think the band is from the UK and I'm not sure where the singer is from, but he has this incredible deeply accented voice that brings such a gravity to everything he sings in the way that anyone speaking english as a second language accidentally brings new weight to common turns of phrase.

Universal Soldier - Jay Electronica: It feels fitting, looking back, that Jay Electronica finally released his album right before the world ended. It was literally now or never. Some how Jay-Z is the breakout star of this album for me. He's got some of his best verses in years on here and he's a great opposition to Electronica's flow when they trade verses. I would also, as an aside, like to know the origin of the kids cheering sample throughout this, because it's the same one from AM//Radio by Earl Sweatshirt and Wish You Were Gay by Billie Eilish. So what's that about.

Sticky Hulks - Thee Oh Sees: I've been very slowly getting into Oh Sees and I love them a lot so far. Their unweildy, huge discography spread across a lot of variations of the same name makes digging into them very rewarding as well. There's a great line on their wiki detailing all the times they've changed their name that goes: Orinoka Crash Suite (1997–2003), OCS (2003–2005, 2017), Orange County Sound (2005), The Ohsees (2006), The Oh Sees (2006–2008), Thee Oh Sees (2008–2017), Oh Sees (2017–2019) Osees (2019) to give you some idea of what we're working with here. Basically it's just everything you could want from a pychedelic band like this: a history and discography as shaggy as the songs themselves.

Knife On The Platter - BODEGA: In reading about Bodega I learned that they don't have a drummer in the traditional sense. They have someone credited as a 'stand up percussionist', and in listening back I realised that's they key to the groove in their music. He's not playing a kit he's just slamming at a tom and a snare on a rack, while one of the singers plays hi-hat here and there. So all the drumming has this barebones caveman feel to it and I absolutely love it. The band feels a lot like The Fashion, and that whole mid-2000s dance-punk movement that I've been desparate to come back so naturally I love it a lot.

Against Gravity - Horse Lords: Horse Lords are one of the most incredible bands I've heard in a long time. Somewhere between a more analogue Battles and Laddio Bolocko, they make a kind of churning math-jazz that sounds like huge intersecting squares of rhythm slowly overlapping. It feels like there's an infinite depth in these songs, you can listen and focus on a single instrument and see it shifting in and out of place with everyone else, before you lose it again and it retreats back into the swirling mass.

Plain To See Plainsman - Colter Wall: I've been listening to this Colter Wall album a lot, and it's really beginning to rank among my all time favourites. I grew up around the flattest place in the southern hemisphere, so I love the plains and it's very nice to have a cowboy song I can relate to like that.

The Nail - Sarah Shook & The Disarmers: Sarah Shook has so much character in her voice I completely love it. She is also a fantastic songwriter that manages to make outlaw country punk that sounds authentic and doesn't have the rockabilly posturing that a lot of the genre suffers from.

Inner Reaches 慾望的暗角二 - Gong Gong Gong 工工工: The best thing about Gong Gong Gong is you can listen to this whole song before you realise they don't have a drummer. They're a guitar and bass duo that play and sing with such a layered rhythmic intensity between the two of them that they really don't need one. A drummer would just clutter the space already taken up by their ferocious rhythm.

Country Pie - Bob Dylan: I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan's dumb songs. He has a lot where if it's the first song you ever heard from him you would be mad at whoever told you he was the greatest songwriter to ever live for trying to trick you like this. What I especially love about this song is how abruptly it ends, like dad just came home and everyone panicked cause they're know they're not supposed to be staying up that late.

You Did It Yourself - Arthur Russell: It seems hard to believe that I've only just found out about Arthur Russel. He seems to be a mainstay of Music Guy lists and somehow I've only heard of him this month. I've been obsessing over the Iowa Dream album, which is a compilation of a lot of different (mostly extremely high quality) demos from the late 70s to mid 80s and what really shines through other than the singular strength of his songwriting is how readily and easily he bends from country style folk to romantic piano ballads, to groovy post-punk like this. What I love so much about this song is it's a great lesson in songwriting: sometimes a song can just be a vague review of a middling movie and still have emotional resonance. Incredible. There's a great NPR article about Arthur Russel and the process of assembling half-takes and demos into complete recordings that you should read if you're interested. https://www.npr.org/2019/11/20/779721417/which-arthur-russell-are-we-getting-on-iowa-dream

The Dogs Outside Are Barking - Arthur Russell: I love this song because it's such a perfect distillation of a teenaged moment: trying to find a moment alone with someone when you have no freedom at all to create one. The song cycles through potential situations but leaves the problem unresolved, existing in the moment of nervous romantic tension preceding an unasked question and it's just beautiful.

Men For Miles - Ought: I love the vocal melody in the verse here so much. Spiking up unnaturally at the end of the lines like a nervous and strange version of The Strokes. Even the way he cramps his words in in the chorus is so good, switching registers randomly like he's impersonating someone else.

Mister Soweto - Lizzy Mercier Descloux: https://pitchfork.com/features/from-the-pitchfork-review/9828-lizzy-mercier-descloux-behind-the-muse/ Pitchfork has a great article about Lizzy Mercier Descloux detailing how she is continually undervalued and underappreciated. I found her though my Discover Weekly and became immediately obsessed with this album - a perfect mix of off-kilter 80s bass and brass that is so colourful and seems to move in a million directions at once like the songs can't even catch up with themselves sometimes. I'm excited to dig into her discography more and try to understand her more because she has a truly unique approach that I can't get enough of.

Sweden - Marilyn Crispell: I've been looking for a while for other pianists of Cecil Taylor's calibre, rare type that it is and I am so glad to have finally found out about Marilyn Crispell. She plays free jazz like Taylor, but in much less percussive and disonnant style. There's a New York Times quote that seems to follow her that says "Hearing Marilyn Crispell play solo piano is like monitoring an active volcano. She is one of a very few pianists who rise to the challenge of free jazz." and it's really very apt. She will move with seemingly no warning at all from mediative, colourful stokes to a mad descent unto uncertainty and beyond, then back again without a moments hesitation. Her music moves like a dream, linking a stream of unlinked images with an ease that only seems incongruous on reflection.

Twins - Gem Club: I have loved this song for a very long time and I come back to it over and over and appreciate it anew. What I appreciate about on listening to it this time is the strangeness of it's structure, following up the verse with an instrumental break, and then a long instrumental intro to the chorus gives it so much space to spread out and breathe, giving the beautiful gravity of the song even more weight. Then after the chorus it moves straight to a bridge and then the intro and first verse again. It's a fantastic song that makes it's small parts so large, where another songwriter or another producer would pare them down.

Grand Central - Paul Cauthen: Something I've learned in listening to a lot of cowboy music is that the number one thing that cowboys hate and fear is getting hanged. They hate it worse than cats hate getting sprayed with water. I found out about Paul Cauthen combing through Colter Wall's similar artists looking for more of this brand of new old fashioned country and I really found it here. Paul Cauthen comes from four generations of preachers and left the church to pursue country music instead, which feels like an extremely old fashioned position to be in here in 2020 but I guess lots of people in Texas still live like that, and thank god they do or we wouldn't have Paul Cauthen's big mournful Elvis voice to sing us songs about the railway.

Serafina - BAMBARA: I love this sort of spoken word leather jacket rock and roll. It's so extremely Cool in an old fashioned way. Like a more rock and roll version of Enablers.

So 4 Real - The Hecks: I love love love this song that sounds like a sped up Prince demo. The strange thinness of the mix and the way the vocals are buried just makes it sound so strange and great, like it was put together on some ancient 4 track recorder that can't handle the pure energy of the song.

In The Pines (Version 2) - Jackson C. Frank: There's a very good 3 hour compilation of Jackson C. Frank recordings that came out a few years called Remastered And Unreleased that I listened through the other day. It's just magnificent. This version of In The Pines is one of my favourite I've ever heard, the mournful vocals coupled with his churning rhythm guitar really brings out the darkness of it in a way I've never heard.

(Tumble) In The Wind (Version 1) - Jackson C. Frank: Another favourite from this compilation that is slightly hard to listen to. I don't know if there's a date on it but I'd guess this was recorded near the end of his life. It is so beautiful, but you can hear in his voice and breathing that he's unwell. In Horseshoe Crabs by Hopalong she sings a story from his perspective this song really seems to fit in the second half of that. "Woke from the dream and I was old / Staring at the ass crack of dawn / Walked these streets up and down / Looking for Paul Simon / All I found was myself, lost in time / I tried singing my songs / But I lost my mind"

Sludge - Squid: I'm thinking of putting together a playlist of all the great Black Midi-adjacent bands I've found out about recently and Squid is at the top of the list. This new breed of art-punk is so fantastic and goes in a million different directions. I'm just so excited it exists.

Straight Shot - Quelle Chris: I love this song and Guns is a phenomenal album but there’s one thing bothering me. The ‘who are you, what are you’ part at the end sounds so incredibly familiar to me and I can’t figure out why. As far as I can tell it’s not a sample, but googling reveals that the english voice on it is fucking James Acaster the standup comedian. So what’s going on? Quelle Chris himself is less than helpful: “Straight Shot is one of those ideas that reached out to me, we got along and I simply showed it around town. The chorus, poem at the end and basic piano progression literally came to me in two separate dreams”. Who knows. Great song though.

Levitation - Dua Lipa: What I really like about this song is that she says sugarboo. This whole album bangs and Dua is really reaping the benefits of being the only pop star with the guts to release an album while everyone’s in lockdown I also have a half-baked theory about the way this song is almost interpolating Blame It On The Boogie in the ‘moonlight, starlight’ part as a sort of aggressive takeover of Michael Jackson’s cancelled legacy. Which is smart really. The same way Taylor Swift is re-recording her albums, let’s just get The Weeknd in the studio for a couple of days and give the world back it’s bangers.

Another Crashed Car - Nine Inch Nails: I am so glad Trent Reznor put out another two volumes of Ghosts. Ghosts I-IV from 2008 seems to have been the bridge from his Nine Inch Nails work to his film score work, and now that he’s had such success with that it’s nice to hear him writing in this style without telling anyone else’s story again. It’s also interesting for him to go back to this project now that Ghosts I-IV has paid dividends in the form of the sample at the centre of Old Town Road but that’s neither here nor there. It’s hard to pick and individual track from these, because they work so effectively as long form albums and not individual tracks, but I chose this one because I put the album on as background ambient while I was doing some boring data entry at work and this track is the point at which I realised I was going out of my mind with stress from doing the simplest tasks because of Trent’s Damned Chords.

Lilacs - Waxahatchee: This is a perfect song. It makes me want to like, draw charts about it and go through it bar by bar to figure out how she did it. It’s perfectly put together. It feels like she uses every trick in the book and it just comes together flawlessly in 3 minutes. Amazing.

Cool Water - Hank Williams: I decided to properly listen to Hank Williams because his shadow stretches over so much of country music, and while a lot of his music really alienated or bored me, and a lot of his songs feel like they would read as novelty songs today (like Hey Good Looking), this is the song that made me understand why he’s so revered.

In My Bones (feat. Kimbra and Tank And The Bangas) - Jacob Collier: Jacob Collier generally irks me. He makes brain music for redditors that lose their mind when someone shows them chord inversions or odd time signatures. Youtubers whose whole personality is ‘y’all heard Giant Steps?’ But he killed it on this song. It’s great despite him. There’s still a lot of corniness to work through, mostly in the big yuck funky lyrics, but structurally it’s a kaleidoscope and a big chunk of its success I’m putting down to Kimbra and Tank who understand that performance is a bigger part of a song than composition in a way Collier maybe doesn’t yet. He can overload the bassline and stop-start the rhythms as much as he likes but without actual personalities driving it it’ll just sound like a Peter Gabriel midi played at 200%.

Earthquake - Graham Central Station: I learned something wonderful in researching this band. The leader, Larry Graham, who was in Sly And The Family Stone is credited with inventing slap bass. He himself refers to the technique as "thumpin' and pluckin' ".

Quand Les Larmes D’un Ange Font Danser La Neige - Melody’s Echo Chamber: Once again furious that I’ve known of Melody’s Echo Chamber for years but never listened to them until now. I have been missing out. This is a perfect sprawling psychedelic jam punctuated with a bizzare cut-up recording about shitting yourself when you die and being declared brain dead in the vatican. It’s got everything. I had to look up who the drummer was on this song because he’s just nailing it, and it turns out it’s Johan Holmegaard from Dungen which is really a perfect fit.

Murder Most Foul - Bob Dylan: I was thinking the other day about how Bob Dylan is doing in quarantine. The man who hasn’t stopped moving his whole life and who’s been on a never ending tour since the 70s is now, I assume, just pacing a hole in a hotel carpet somewhere and jabbering to himself. The strangest part of Bob dropping this 17 minute song about JFK out of nowhere is that he hasn’t put out any original music since 2012. So a gigantic song like this is an even bigger surprise. I, already a huge fan of gigantic songs and Bob Dylan, unsurprisingly love it. I love the slow stirring of the instrumentation, like he hired Dirty Three as a backing band and I love that nearly the entire second half is just listing good songs that he knows. It’s a remarkable song and unlike anything i’ve heard before from Dylan or anyone else. It’s interesting to hear Bob Dylan step into being the great chronicler of the 60s like he’s been told he already was his entire life almost 50 years later, finally accepting the fate foisted on him. The other thing I love about this song is the line when he for some reason praises Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting “Greatest magic trick ever under the sun / Perfectly executed, skillfully done”

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

#playlists

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shiredded · 4 years

Text

A white animation student’s take on Soul and POC cartoons

This got long but there’s lots of pretty pictures to go with it.

Hi, I’m Shire and I’m as white as a ripped-off Pegasus prancing on a stolen van. Feel free to add to my post, especially if you are poc. The next generation of animators needs your voice now more than ever.

My opinion doesn’t matter as much here because I’m not part of the people being represented.

But I am part of the people to whom this film is marketed, and as the market, I think I should be Very Aware of what media does to me.

And as the future of animation, I need to do something with what I know.

I am very white. I have blue eyes and long blond hair. I’ve seen countless protagonists, love interests, moms, and daughters that look like me. If I saw an animated character that looks like me turn into a creature for the majority of a movie, I would cheer. Bring it on! I have plenty of other representation that tells me I’m great just the way I am, and I don’t need to change to be likable.

The moment Soul’s premise was released, many people of color expressed mistrust and disappointment on social media. Let me catch you up on the plot according to the new (march 2020) trailer. (It’s one of those dumb modern trailers that tells you the entire plot of the movie including the climax; so I recommend only watching half of it)

Our protagonist, Joe Gardner, has a rich (not in the monetary sense) and beautiful life. He has dreams! He wants to join a jazz band! So far his life looks, to me, comforting, amazing, heartfelt, and real. I’m excited to learn about his family and his music.

Some Whoknowswhat happens, and he enters a dimension where everyone, himself included, is represented by glowing, blue, vaguely humanoid creatures. They’re adorable! But they sure as heck aren’t brown. The most common response seems to be dread at the idea of the brown human protagonist spending the majority of his screen time as a not-brown, not-human creature.

The latest trailer definitely makes that look pretty darn true. He does spend most of the narrative - chronologically - as a blob.

but

That isn’t the same as his screen time.

From the look of the trailer, Joe and his not-yet-born-but-already-tired-of-life soul companion tour Joe’s story in all of its brown-skinned, human-shaped, life-loving glory. The movie is about life, not about magic beans that sing and dance about burping (though I won’t be surprised if that happens too.)

Basically! My conclusion is “it’s not as bad as it looked at first, and it looks like a wonderful story.”

but

That doesn’t mean it’s ok.

Yes, Soul is probably going to be a really important and heartfelt story about life, the goods, the bads, the dreams, and the bonds. That story uses a fun medium to view that life; using bright, candy-bowl colors and a made-up world to draw kids in with their parents trailing behind.

It’s a great story and there’s no reason to not create a black man for the lead role. There’s no reason not to give this story to people of color. It’s not a white story. This is great!

Except...

we’ve kind of

done this

a lot

The Book of Life and Coco also trade in their brown-skinned cast for a no-skinned cast, but I don’t know enough about Mexican culture to say those are bad and I haven't picked up on much pushback to those. There’s more nuance there, I think.

I cut the above pics together to show how the entire ensemble changes along with the protagonist. We can lose entire casts of poc. Emperor's New Groove keeps its cast as mostly human so at least we have Pacha

And while the animals they interact with might be poc-coded, there’s nothing very special or affirming about “animals of color.”

So, Soul.

Are we looking at the same thing here?

It’s no secret by now that this is an emerging pattern in animation. But not all poc-starring animated films have this same problem. We have Moana! With deuteragonists (basically co-protagonists) of color, heck yeah.

Aladdin... Pocahontas... The respect those films have for their depicted culture is... an essay for another time. Mulan fits here too. the titular characters’ costars are either white, or blue, and/or straight up animals. But hey, they don’t turn into animals, and neither do the supporting cast/love interests.

Dreamworks’ Home (2015) is also worth mentioning as a poc-led film where the deuteragonist is kind of a purple blob. But the thing I like a lot about Home is that it’s A Nice Story, where there’s no reason for the protagonist to not be poc, so she is poc. Spiderverse has a black lead with a white (or masked, or animal) supporting cast. But, spiderverse also has Miles’ dad, mom, uncle, and Penny Parker.

I’d like to see more of that.

And less of this

if you’re still having trouble seeing why this is a big deal, let’s try a little what-if scenario.

This goes out to my fellow white girls (including LGBTA white girls, we are not immune to propaganda racism)

imagine for a second you live in a world where animation is dominated to the point of almost total saturation by protagonist after protagonist who are boys/men. You do get the occasional woman-led film, but maybe pretend that 30 to 40 percent of those films are like

(We’re pretending for a second that Queen Eleanor was the protagonist, because I couldn’t think of any animated movies where the white lady protagonist turns into and stays an animal for the majority of the film)

Or, white boys and men, how would you feel if your most popular and marketable representation was this?

Speaking of gender representation, binary trans and especially nonbinary trans people are hard pressed to find representation of who they are without the added twist of Lizard tails or horns and the hand-waving explanation of “this species doesn’t do gender” But again, that’s a different essay.

Let’s look at what we do have. In reality, we (white people) have so much representation that having a fun twist where we spend most of the movie seeing that person in glimpses between colorful, glittering felt characters that reflect our inner selves is ok.

Wait, that aesthetic sounds kind of familiar...

But I digress. Inside Out was a successful and honestly helpful and important movie. I have no doubt in my mind that Soul will meet and surpass it in quality and and in message.

There is nothing wrong with turning your protagonist of color into an animal or blob for most of their own movie.

But it’s part of a larger pattern, and that pattern tells people of color that their skin would be more fun if it was blue, or hairy, or slimy, or something. It’s fine to have films like that because heck yeah it would be fun to be a llama. But it’s also fun to not be a llama. It’s fun to be a human. It’s fun to be yourself. I don’t think children of color are told that enough.

At least, not by mainstream studios. (The Breadwinner, produced by Cartoon Saloon)

It’s not like all these mainstream poc movies are the result of racist white producers who want us to equate people of color with animals. In fact, most of those movies these days have people of color very high up, as directors, writers, or at the very least, a pool of consultants of color.

These movies aren’t evil. They aren’t even that intrinsically racist (Pocahontas can go take a hike and rethink its life, but we knew that.) It’s that we need more than just the shape-shifting narratives of our non-white protagonists.

It’s not like there isn’t an enormous pool of ideas, talent, visions and scripts already written and waiting to be produced. There is.

But they somehow don’t make it past the head executives, way above any creative team, who make the decisions, aiming not for top-of-the-line stories, but for the Bottom line of sales.

When Disney acquired Pixar, their main takeover was in the merchandising department. The main target for their merchandise are, honestly, white children.

So is it much of a surprise

that they are more often greenlighting things palatable for as many “discerning” mothers as possible?

I saw just as many Tiana dolls as frog toys on the front page of google, so don’t worry too much about The Princess And The Frog. Kids love her. But I didn’t find any human figures of Kenai from Brother Bear, except for dolls wearing a bear suit.

So. What do I think of Soul?

I think it’s going to be beautiful. I think it’s going to be a great movie.

But I also think people of color deserve more.

Let’s take one more look at the top people who went into making this movie.

Of the six people listed here, five are white. Kemp Powers, one of the screenplay writers, is black.

It’s cool to see women reaching power within the animation industry, but this post isn’t about us.

We need to replace the top execs and get more projects greenlit that send the message that african, asian, latinix, middle eastern, and every other non-white ethnicity is perfect and relatable as the humans they were meant to be.

Disney is big enough that they can - and therefore should - take risks and produce movies that aren’t as “marketable” simply because art needs to be made. People need to be loved.

Come on, millennials and Gen Z. We can do better.

We Will do better.

TLDR: A lot of mainstream animation turns its protagonists of color into animals or other creatures. I (white) don’t think that’s a bad thing, except for the fact that we don’t get enough poc movies that AREN’T weird. Support Soul; it’s not going to be as bad as you think. It’s probably gonna be really good. Let’s make more good movies about people of color that stay PEOPLE of color.

#soul #pixar #disney #poc #animation #long post #shire screams

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captainenjolras · 4 years

Text

ThorBruce fic! Mostly fluff, maybe a little angst.

Summary: Thor throws Bruce an actual birthday party!

⚠️Slight TW for mentions of child abuse (barely tho but just in case)⚠️

“What’s that?”

Bruce looked over to where Thor was pointing. In a neighbors yard, he could see a bounce house, children running and about five boxes of pizza.

“Oh, it’s a birthday party.”

The scientist continued walking, unaware that his boyfriend was still watching.

“Thor,” asked a puzzled Bruce once he noticed that Thor’s hand wasn’t in his, “what’s up?”

“I’ve never seen a birthday party like that,” beamed the god. “Is that what they do here on Midgard?”

“Oh, yeah; you’ve seriously never seen one?”

“Well, I’ve had birthday parties back on Asgard, but they were never like this!”

“What were they like?”

“A bit more formal.”

“Ah; yeah here it’s just kinda a fun, casual day.”

“Did you ever have a birthday party,” asked Thor once they started walking again.

“Hmm? Oh, not really.”

“How come?”

Bruce tensed up a little when Thor asked him that. The god instantly remembered the reason and tried to change the subject.

“Anything interesting happen at work lately?”

“Umm, not really.”

The scientist tried to had the sadness in his voice, but it wasn’t really working. Still, Thor tried to cheer him up.

“One time on Asgard, Fandral and I were hunting and we thought we saw a bear! But guess what? It wasn’t! It was just a really hairy man!”

Bruce tried his best to give a genuine laugh, but he felt like he just couldn’t. Guilt washed over Thor as he watched his boyfriend put on a fake smile.

“Bruce,” he started, once they reached the crosswalk, “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to bring...that...up. I should’ve realized. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Bruce assured him sorrowfully. “You didn’t know.”

“Hey, your birthday is in a week. I’m gonna make sure you have the best birthday of your life.”

“You don’t have to do that,” chuckled the scientist sadly. Thor places a gentle and caring hand to the mans cheek before speaking again.

“I know. But I want to. You deserve it. Bruce, you deserve the world. I love you.”

“...Thanks, Thor, but you don’t need to waste your time to celebrate just another day.”

“But it’s your birthday!”

“Birthdays happen everyday; why waste your time on mine? It’s fine, I just wanna...can we maybe head home now?”

Thor scanned the shorter mans anxious and sad face before nodding and taking his hand.

“I love you, Bruce.”

“I love you too, Thor.”

——————————————————————————

“Stark!”

Tony jumped at the sound of Thor’s booming voice.

“Jesus- I told you not to do that.”

“Many apologies; I need your help with something!”

“What’s up?”

The mechanic turned away from his work to see Thor standing a few feet away, notebook and pen in hand.

“...Is this an interview?”

“No, I just need to ask you a few questions.”

“That’s an interview, big guy.”

“Oh.”

“...So what do you need to know?”

“Do you know what Bruce might want for his birthday?”

Tony smirked before turning back to his work.

“He’s your boyfriend, Pointbreak. I hoped you’d know what he liked.”

“Oh, I do! I just didn’t know if he maybe told you anything that he wouldn’t mention to me, cause you’re bestrfriends and all.”

“He wants a ring on his finger,” mumbled Tony jokingly.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing; he never really mentioned anything. Maybe Nat would know? They’re real close.”

Thor thought for a minute before giving the mechanic a smile.

“Thank you, Anthony! Enjoy your work!”

——————————————————————————

“So you want us to help you come up with ideas for a gift for Bruce?”

“If you wouldn’t mind!”

Clint and Nat looked at each other before shrugging and turning back to Thor.

“Sure,” said Clint. “What were you thinking of?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure; that’s why I came to you guys!”

“Well,” started Natasha, taking the book and pen from Thor’s hands and drawing out columns, “let’s start by making a list of gifts that are “go” and “definitely not.””

“Good idea!”

“What’s some stuff he likes?”

“Well,” beamed the god, “he really likes The Office! He also really likes yoga and reading! Oh, and animals! And science, obviously! There’s also space, Disney, Broadway, the color purple, that one movie with the five kids in detention, flowers, the little house plants that Stephen has a lot of, old books, baking-“

“Let’s start with The Office.”

“Ok!”

“You could get him some merch, like a mug or hat.”

“That’s actually a good idea,” added Clint, taking the notebook and writing something down.

“And for yoga and reading,” said Nat, “you cold get him some books and a yoga mat.”

“That could work!”

“Any other ideas?”

“Well, Tony said something about a ring.”

“I-“

“Does Bruce like children, Thor?”

Nat slapped the man up the back of the head before turning back to Thor.

“You could get him a promise ring.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a ring couples get each other sometimes, kinda like to show the other that they love them.”

“I like that idea!”

“So you think you’re gonna settle with that?”

“Yes! Thank you, Natasha! Thank you, Barton!”

——————————————————————————

“You want me to help you bake a cake?”

“If you will.”

Loki thought for a minute before looking up at his brother from his spot in the couch.

“If I give you the instructions, would I still have to help you?”

“No, I’m pretty sure I could handle it from there!”

“...Alright. Give me a piece of paper and a pen.”

Thor handed Loki his notebook. The other god looked down at the writting in confusion.

“Why do you need a mug, a mat, a book, a ring and children?”

“I don’t need children, Barton wrote that.”

“...What is this for?”

“Bruce’s birthday is soon!”

“Wait, you want ME to help YOU make a birthday cake?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Thor, I’m a trickster. You really trust me to help you make a cake for your boyfriend?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my brother!”

“...Trickster g- never mind. Just give me a pen.”

——————————————————————————

“Good morning, love.”

Bruce smiled as Thor pressed a kiss to his curls.

“Morning, Thor.”

“Happy birthday!”

“...That’s today?”

“Yes, silly!”

“Oh.”

“Here, let’s go to the living room; I have something I think you’ll like.”

Thor led his still sleepy boyfriend into their living room, covering his eyes as to not spoil the surprise. Once they reached the couch and sat down, Thor began to speak.

“Before I remove my hands, I need you to close your eyes. Now, I know you said I didn’t have to do anything for you today, but...that didn’t feel right. Over the week I had help from our friends to find something I’d think you’d like, and I came up with this. Ok, I’m removing my hands now, but PLEASE keep your eyes shut.”

Bruce nodded and closed his eyes as Thor’s gentle hands left his face. He heard the god walk away and quickly come back, standing between him and the coffee table.

“Open your eyes, love.”

The scientist slowly opened his eyes to see Thor holding a bunch of gifts. He couldn’t help but gasp a little at the action and let a small smile spread across his lips.

“You...you got this for me?”

“Of course! Would you like to see what I got?”

“Y-yes!”

Thor handed him one gift, which was wrapped tightly in paper. Bruce tore open the wrapping and admired his new books.

“Oh my god! Thor, thank you!”

“Would you like to see the other gifts?”

“Duh! You got more?”

“Of course! Here, I think you’ll like this one!”

The god handed the shorter man a bag, still balancing all the other stuff in his large arms. Bruce removed the tissue paper and pulled out a “worlds best boss” mug. What really made him smile though was the fact that Thor has crossed out “boss” and wrote “boyfriend.”

“Oh my god...”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes,” smiled Bruce, I little chocked up. “I love it.”

After the mug came a new yoga mat, a purple hoodie, a few succulents, a Disney movie collection, a Breakfast Club T-shirt, and a pack of glow-in-the-dark stars. Bruce was smiling wider than ever as Thor finally took a seat next to him.

“Thank you so much, Thor! I’m literally about to cry, I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve the universe, Bruce...and there’s one more gift.”

Bruce shook his head with a laugh as he looked at his already many gifts. When he turned back to meet Thor’s eyes, the god was holding a small box.

“...What’s that?”

“It’s a promise ring,” smiled Thor as he opened the box. “Natasha told me that here on Midgard, couples get this for each other to show that they love each other. And I love you, Bruce. I love you more than anything.”

The scientist stared down at the small silver ring that his boyfriend held before looking back up with tears in his eyes.

“...Thank you, Thor. I-I love you, too. Oh god, I-“

Bruce wrapped Thor in a hug, resting his chin on his shoulder. The god placed a hand on the back of the scientist’s head and held him close.

“I love you so much, Bruce.”

“I love you too, Thor. Thank you so, so much. This is the best birthday ever.”

“It’s still not over. Also, there’s cake in the fridge.”

Bruce let out a small, genuine laugh before closing his eyes and melting into Thor’s hug.

#thorbruce #thunderscience #gammahammer #thundersmach #thorhulk #thruce #thulk #thunderhulk #bruce x thor #thor x bruce #thorbruce fic #my second fic hope yall like it #doctorthunder #brucethor #hulkthor

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