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autisticandroids · 3 years

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yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

#spn #asks #anonymous

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dustydreamsanddirtyscars · 3 years

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So, thing is.... I have not watched the episode. I just was spoilered on the explore page on youtube when looking up news and there it was. Thank you so much algorithm for ruining the only episode in 4 years that I actually would have liked to watch unspoilered. That’s off the table now of course…. That said. I will watch it later in full. So take all of this with a shitton of salt, because my opinion is basically based only on Dean’s death scene and Sam’s life montage and the ending in Heaven of them meeting again without any in between so I might miss some vital infos – and yeah maybe I should have waited to post after I have seen the full episode first, then again, it doesn’t really matter, my opinion doesn’t matter, as I have not been involved with fandom or tumblr in ages, but maybe my impression can help someone somewhere to feel a bit better about this ending.

So, with that said. And I guess this will be a surprise to most people, these little ten minutes of episode to me delivered more emotion – though the hair and make up on Jared as Aging!Sam was just awful lol so I am ignoring all that – than all of the past 4 years combined.

Is the ending dissatisfying? I can see how people think that. I have to say, I look at it more objectively since I am not involved in fandom etc. anymore. But imo and I really would not have ever expected to say that about an episode written by Dabb. Imo this ending does make sense. I see a lot of posts going around saying that this ending doesn’t make sense, because of the season long arc of the death of the author and fight for free will and that it is the badly written ending Chuck would have penned. And I kind of think no, it isn’t. It’s just that many people treated the past seasons or watched them with rose coloured glasses.

I have expressed in a single post last week why I have issues with Dabb’s era and people’s appraisal of him, because they excused all the bad writing with that only having been „Chuck’s bad writing“ and therefore Dabb and Co were so extremely clever and amazing and soooooo meta. Which yeah, no Dabb was no genius and neither was a Berens. It was objectively bad and lazy writing. This ending however imo actually makes sense – and people only hate it because they did not get what they wanted. Did I get what I wanted from this ending? Not by a long shot – for one: Dean would have deserved more. Much could have been done better, but from the quality or rather extreme lack thereof since Dabb took over, this ending is more than I ever would have expected possible.

So let me get into the meat of it and why I think that way. I can see why it is frustrating to accept this ending, because it feels like all of what they went through was for nothing, because it was never „truly them“ - and I guess that was Jensen’s biggest issue with that ending – and that Dean dies so quickly after just having been free(d). You see, if you operate with the death of the author and celebrating that fact, because it means true free will for the Winchesters then this ending simply – as dissatisfying as it may feel for the character who just achieved freedom – is a fitting one and indeed does not negate character development made (which arguably was influenced by Chuck and never real), but rather showcases it.

Dean dieing on a hunt, in a mundane fashion, due to a rusty nail many say is a disgrace, because it should have been an epic fighting scene or whatever. Why though? We had that countless times. We know Dean is a skilled fighter. He did many Big bads in. Why would it need one more for the final episode? Especially when considering all those times before Chuck has been pulling the strings (this is much more why I think they never should have introduced God in that way and go this route, because that in fact destroys all of the past – which again is why I think Jensen struggled with the ending). Again, I understand people’s discomfort, but I actually think Dean dieing on a hunt, in a mundane fashion, due to a rusty nail is a „good“ (as good as it can get with Dabb & Co) ending. Why? Because it all was entirely Dean. No Chuck. No big story. It was Dean. It was Dean writing his own story. Holding the pen. And That is all I ever wanted (would I have wanted it for him to be able to do it longer, hell yes, but even getting Dean’s joy of being free just for one day imo is worth it and worth more than a lifetime as a puppet for a cruel God). Dean died while doing what he believed in, what he loved doing, with his brother by his side and them both on the same page and not butting heads, he was there out of his own free will, he was not supercharged by an special weapon and he was most of all not indestructable because he was a plaything of God. He died, because he was/is free. Because that is what happens when life happens. And life is tragic. That’s what this is. A tragic death. A tragic death of a wonderful human being. And that’s always what I loved dean for: his humanity and his flaws.

And I don’t see/read it as Dean only finding happiness or true free will in death, though I understand why you could read it that way, absolutely. But imo seeing it that way only cuts things short. Dean was able to let go, he was able to say goodbye to Sam (now his whole speech about him being weaker than Sam etc., that part was enraging and unnescessary, but for the sake of the much despised „bigger picture“ I will ignore it here, because that part I have big issues with). That means he did „overcome“ his „always be there for Sammy“ and giving himself up in the process of doing that (and again yes, that he was only to overcome this when dieing makes this part pretty problematic, very much so – but then again, I don’t expect well crafted story from Dabb, so…). Every single time before (when God was still in the picture) the Winchesters did something bad to undo „death“, etc. whether that was what they would have done if God was not in the picture is up for debate, but in any case here Sam and Dean met one another on eye level. Sam let Dean go and he lived with the grief (yeah, the irony of Dabb trying to replicate „Swan Song“ with roles reversed just in a spectacularly worse way is not lost on me, believe me), but he kept going, didn’t go to extremes to reverse it. He lived with it. Because that’s how life happens. Most of the time it’s not fair. And it’s not what we deserve. But we „carry on“. And we keep writing our story. However a tragic one it might be. But at least it’s ours. We are the paper. We are the pen. And not a bit of spilled ink in Death’s or God’s book. And I happen to think that is as good as it gets…

Alright, those are my two cents on an episode that I haven’t seen lol. I am sure once I see it, there will be a lot of things I will probably dislike about it, but just from the small but probably big bits of the episode, these are my two cents. Don’t get up in arms over it. I am not here to fight. Have never been. And I sure won’t start now that I probably will never log back into this account. :)

#SPN Spoilers #SPN 15x20 #SPN Series Finale #Supernatural Meta #SPN Meta #Pick up the pen Dean Winchester #Unpopular opinion #15x20 #Carry on

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Friday Night Dinner: the Best Episodes

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Friday Night Dinner is ten.

That’s ten years of crimble-crumble, humble bumbling, manic misunderstandings, and more lovely bits of squirrel than you could shake a dead fox at. For thirty-seven Friday nights across six glorious seasons the Goodman family – shirtless dad, Martin (Paul Ritter); long-suffering but ever hopeful mum, Jackie (Tamsin Greig), and their visiting prank-wanker sons Adam (Simon Bird) and Jonny (Tom Rosenthal) – served up a banquet of laughs to a hungry nation, ably assisted by chronically persistent, reality-adjacent next-door-neighbour, Jim (Mark Heap) and his faithful dog, Wilson, and a host of other regulars and monstrously memorable one-offs besides.

In celebration, then, of one of the most smartly-observed, perfectly-cast comedies of recent years, in chronological order, we count down ten of the show’s best.

The Sofabed

Series 1, Episode 1

Most first episodes – nay entire first series – of new comedies can be scattergun. Maybe the characters haven’t quite coalesced, or their fictional universe doesn’t feel ‘lived in’ yet. Not so with Friday Night Dinner. The show arrived fully-formed, with the Goodmans seeming as real as any family in your street; perhaps even your own family.

All of the gags, rituals and dynamics destined to run and grow and fold back in upon themselves throughout the series’ run are here: Martin’s secrets, conspiracies and hearing difficulties; Jim’s constant interruptions; Adam and Johnny’s brutal one-upmanship; the salt-in-the-water prank; Martin’s fondness for shouting ‘shit on it’.

The first episode revolves around the selling of a sofabed (with a brief sojourn into conspiracy when Martin inveigles his children into helping him hide the old magazines Jackie has ordered him to destroy), a simple enough transaction that turns to tragedy when death comes (quite literally) calling. Martin’s mis-hearing and misunderstanding of a crucial piece of information whilst standing at the bottom of a stair-and-couch-based conga line brings the series first proper belly-laugh, and with it the realisation that Friday Night Dinner is going to be something special.

Mr Morris

Series 2, Episode 2

Mr Morris, played by Harry Landis, is a marvellous comic creation. With his predilection for getting topless and dressing people down at the dinner table, he’s like a malignant, mirror-universe version of Martin. With the eyes of Mr Magoo and the moustache of Adolf Hitler – and something of the bearing of both – Mr Morris, Granny’s new and very married boyfriend, quickly establishes himself as the dinner guest from Hell.

After crashing into their house and blaming them for the damage, the pugilistic, preening, proud, petty, and pretty much certifiably insane pensioner goes on to engage in horrendously public displays of affection with Granny; shout angrily over the phone at his 95-year-old wife; make Adam and Johnny pay for the, well, johnnies he later planned to use on their grandma; accuse Adam of sexual assault, and then challenge the whole household to a half-naked fist fight. Just another Friday night at the Goodman’s.

The Mouse

Series 2, Episode 6

‘Mouse’ marks the first time that Jim manages to get his feet under the dinner table of the Goodman home, and it’s everything you could have hoped for. And more.

Normally the family manufactures its own chaos during the weekly meal – with extra helpings of misunderstandings, feuds, schadenfreude, embarrassment and horror – but here the Goodmans are cast as the straight men to Jim’s one-man reality-wrecking crew. While interpersonal connections and rituals are alien to Jim, the Goodmans’ set of mannerisms and catchphrases are his greatest challenge yet. His interpretation of their Jewish faith is equal parts sweet to absolutely bonkers, and only Jim’s anxiety, eagerness to please, incomprehension, and molten naivety keeps things from becoming insulting.

All of the Goodman rituals to which the viewer has become accustomed rain down on Jim in a hail of friendly fire, leading him to gargle on ‘Jewish water’ and scrutinise his dinner plate for hints of squirrel. The moment where Jim briefly considers whether he should eat the episode’s eponymous mouse as it scurries onto his dinner plate is pure comedy gold.

Christmas

Series 2, Episode 7

This episode features the first appearance of Rosalind Knight as Martin’s mother, or ‘Horrible Grandma’ as she’s known to the family. Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace and celebration, but that’s not an easy ask when your guest of dishonour is a terrifying little lady who’s equal parts Livia Soprano to the Shushing Library Spook from Ghostbusters. Very few Christmases contain the line, ‘Thanks for raping our grandma’s dog on Christmas day’, fewer still see a grandson sharing his grandma’s dog’s oxygen mask, but then nobody does Christmas like the Goodmans. And they’re not even supposed to be doing it.

There’s a surprisingly beautiful moment at the end of this episode, courtesy of resident oddball, Jim, that – like all of the other rare occasions on which the show veers towards sentimentality – is quickly undercut by a well-timed, and very welcome, gag.

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The Girlfriend

Series 3, Episode 1

Adam finally meets his match: an eight-year-old girl who blackmails him into a chaste but never-the-less irritating and inappropriate ‘relationship’ following the discovery of a racy, unsolicited picture of his girlfriend’s sister on his phone, while his girlfriend is there at the Goodman house for dinner. Thus unfolds an evening of unusual foot-washing, forced transvestism, secrets, lies, panic, and a stunning coup de grace from Jonny, who helps put the final nail into the coffin of his brother’s fledgling relationship.

The Fox

Series 3, Episode 2

Martin likes to squirrel away a great many things, many of them ridiculous, most of them out of sight of his wife. But Johnny and Adam probably weren’t expecting to discover a dead fox in their father’s chest freezer, much less find themselves enlisted to help move it around town like a hitman’s hairy bounty until the heat died down long enough for their father to have it stuffed. The funniest thing about Martin’s many hare-brained (or, in this case, fox-brained) schemes is the energy he throws at them, the sort of logistical chicanery seldom seen this side of the CIA. Watching the men of the family toddle around hither and thither with a dead fox, hiding it in the dining room, hurling it in cupboards, wedging it through windows, is exactly as funny as it sounds, and – as always – just when you think Martin’s got away with it… he hasn’t.

The Two Tonys

Series 4, Episode 1

Martin is an exceptionally quick-thinker. Unfortunately, his speed of thought is seldom married with precision, and he usually finds himself blurting something out at the start of an evening and spending the rest of that evening teetering on the edge of oblivion, with his long-suffering wife ready to push him off. His blurt-out in ‘The Two Tonys’, though, is perhaps his most desperate and ill-considered. In a bid to encourage Jason Watkins’ Tony – a loathed associate from years ago Martin had invited to dinner believing him to be another, better Tony – to leave the Goodman home, he forces Jackie to go along with the ruse that her mother has just died. This gambit, like all Goodman gambits, backfires spectacularly, and what follows is a farce worthy of Frasier, everything culminating in a desperate chase and the furious weaponisation of a pineapple.

The Funeral

Series 4, Episode 5

Friday Night Dinner deals with death incredibly often, and incredibly well, wringing joyous laughter from that most terrifying and inevitable of our shared fates. Here we have another delicious dose of Horrible Grandma, who’s in town to lay to rest her dear departed brother, Saul. Martin is pressured into giving Saul’s eulogy, even though he never really knew or liked his uncle all that much. Cue a day of stress, arrests, tense stand-offs and tantrums, ending with an uninvited Jim appearing at Saul’s graveside clutching four black balloons, while Martin proceeds to recite Saul’s death certificate in lieu of a proper farewell. Immediately following a Grand Prix-inspired coffin malfunction, Jim’s dog Wilson enters stage-left to put a necro-quasi-cannibalistic spin on the ending of Todd Solondz‘s Happiness.

Dad’s Birthday

Series 6, Episode 4

Horrible Grandma might make for a terrible dinner guest, but she makes for a perfect guest star. This time, we bid her goodbye for good, but not before a great deal of caustic put-downs, cathartic showdowns and perhaps the funniest, most macabre magic trick of all time, courtesy of resident ‘magician’ Jim.

Females

Series 6, Episode 6

‘Females’ wasn’t intended to be the final episode of the series, at least according to comments made by series’ creator Robert Popper immediately following its transmission. And it still might not be the end. But it’s hard to imagine a better, funnier or more touching swan-song for the show, with or without the tragic death of Paul Ritter.

Adam and Jonny finally have ‘females’ (as their progressive dad has always called their prospective girlfriends) in their lives at the same time, and Jackie is overjoyed to be welcoming them into her home. She thinks the evening is going to be perfect, which is rather naïve of her considering that she’s married to Martin.

Sure enough, Martin manages to contaminate every course of the meal with shards of broken glass, a calamity he’s forced to reveal to everyone but Jackie, going on to enlist their help in somehow preventing the matriarch from choking to death, while simultaneously preventing her from discovering the depths of his dangerous ineptitude. Martin is, of course, thoroughly rumbled, but before Jackie can strike him down with great anger and furious vengeance, two pregnancies are announced in quick and joyous succession.

‘Females’ is solidly, classically funny, but it’s the episode’s smaller, more intimate moments that will linger longest in the imagination: the brothers’ new-found, prank-less affection for each other; the subdued but sincere affection between Jackie and Martin as they discuss their new roles and the future; and the now suddenly larger Goodman family dancing as one in the living room. As codas go, it’s a damn near perfect one.

If Friday Night Dinner comes back, let it be in twenty years when Adam and Jonny are middle-aged. For now, I hope Martin gets to enjoy many long years as a granddad.

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Friday Night Dinner series 1-6 are available to stream in the UK on All4 and Netflix.

The post Friday Night Dinner: the Best Episodes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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southboundhq · 4 years

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MEET JOSEPHINE,

FULL NAME › Josephine Harper Ryan AGE › twenty three GENDER › Cis female (She/Her/Hers) FROM › Boot Hill, Arizona RESIDENCE › Villas Adobes community (Downtown) OCCUPATION › Waitress at the Turquoise Star Diner NOW PLAYING › Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order

BIOGRAPHY,

trigger warnings: disappearance of a family member, depression, death, car accident

josphine ryan is born the second of four to darby and felicity ryan on the hottest day in july. like her elder sister, she doesn’t have hardly more than a pale, peach fuzz or a gentle platinum swoop atop her head until the age of three. unlike her sister, joey hardly cries–even as a newborn–and never without reason. when heather learned to speak, she tried out every word, every syllable on her tongue–an intrepid speaker. joey takes her time and uses words deliberately, going from nothing to full sentences. the two girls are five years apart, but heather has been practicing this with her baby dolls for years. far apart in age, there are no closer sisters in villas adobes. as she grows older, joey thinks that, surely, there are no closer sisters in the world. it doesn’t change when the twins, katherine and edmund are born another four years later.

three girls and a boy, the ryan household is a bustling one. the kids all look after one another, getting along as well as parents can hope. heather and joey; katie and edmund. it’s just like that. it’s always like that. darby is a prestigious lawyer and they kids grow up hearing the tales of his life as a district attorney in seattle. one night, when the twins are asleep, heather asks him why he left seattle–why he left the job he loved so much. darby ryan racks his brain. he can’t remember. no matter how many times he’s asked the question, he can never remember.

one day, near the end of september, darby ryan walked out into the desert. he walked out into the desert and it was the most normal thing of all. he walked straight down silver mine road and felicity says that even one of the dominellis, or someone else over there near the funeral home, saw him walking down there and tried to wave and say hello, but he wouldn’t give them the time of day–didn’t even look them in their eyes. the cicadas sang their symphony to the desert night while darby ryan walked straight down that road , normal as can be, and he never came back.

the impact of grief affects her mother profoundly–how can you put a wandering spirit to rest?–but between the five of them, they make do. heather and joey, as the eldest girls, make sure the younger ones are looked after while felicity works two jobs. even after heather is on her own and starting her own family, she makes sure her siblings are taken care of. she fixes the lunches for the younger ones and trades out babysitting shifts with joey when she needs some solitude for homework or a trip to drive-in with margie and the girls.

joey is nearly seventeen when heather and her boyfriend die in the wreck that leaves joey with a broken arm and a small laceration to her forehead. hit by a drunk driver, joey’s niece and nephew are orphaned in one tragic accident. if her mother had been distant following her father’s disappearance, she is beside herself over the loss of her eldest daughter. within a year, felicity has lost both her job as a dental hygienist at old main street and as a waitress at the turquoise star diner. she rarely leaves her bed, let alone the house except to scrounge up enough cash for a trip to the liquor store. everything falls on the narrow shoulders of the eldest remaining daughter. still a girl herself, joey is hardly eligible for custody of her siblings and heather’s kids. on top of raising four kids, she makes efforts to maintain her mother’s image–only absent in public out of dedication to being a stay-at-home mother. the social security payments aren’t enough and joey starts working through high school. still a girl herself, she watches her sister and her dreams die in that same year.

she would’ve been a writer. some clever girl who’d spin words onto paper like she wraps blonde curls around her finger. outside this wretched place–a true boot hill, her family plot–she would have found adventures and peculiarities worth writing about. in boot hill, joey ryan finds only tedium and loss; boredom and death. history loves repeating itself like a chorus, or the nightly siren song of the cicadas, and the high school grad takes a waiting job at the same diner her mother was let go from. it paralyzes joey from making new connections; she tears up every phone number written on the back of some credit card receipt left on the table of the diner’s booths. she’s already raising four kids and her mom, most days, as well. she can’t afford a dream or a family of her own.

with the twins now in their senior year of high school, joey knows that they will move on–searching for their own lives, moving out to rent an apartment with a best friend, a lover. there are heather’s kids, seven and nine, and her mother that need looking after, and yet she feels more freedom now than she has had in the last six years. maybe someday she can get out of this place–even if it means leaving her loved ones behind. maybe someday she’ll walk out onto silver mine road, normal as can be, while the cicadas sing. she’ll walk right down that road like it’s the most normal thing in the world. she’ll pass right by a dominelli or maybe a close friend without a word or even a polite nod. maybe she’ll finally hear the cries of the amen shrieker. maybe she’ll hear nothing at all.

❝ she tastes like nectar and salt. nectar and salt and apples. pollen and stars and hinges. she tastes like fairy tales. swan maiden at midnight. cream on the tip of a fox’s tongue. she tastes like hope. ❞

CENSUS,

FACECLAIM › Maika Monroe AUTHOR › Lucia

#maika monroe #rp #rpg #horror rp #original rp #{ all. }#{ f. }#{ local. }#{ over twenty. }#{ lucia. }#disappearance tw #car accident tw #death tw #depression tw

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fiinalgiirls-aa · 5 years

Text

GENERAL INFORMATION.

full name - jospehine harper ryan nicknames - joey, ryan gender / pronouns - she/her date of birth - july 12, 1996 place of birth - prescott, arizona / boot hill, arizona depending on verse citizenship / ethnicity - american / irish, english, scottish, icelandic. religion - atheist socioeconomic status / political affiliation - lower middle class; liberal. marital status - single, though may depend on verse. sexual & romantic orientation - bisexual. education / occupation - waitress. languages - english, some high school french and spanish

FAMILY INFORMATION.

parents - darby ( deceased ) & felicity ryan. siblings - heather, eldest sister ( deceased ); katherine, younger sister; edmund, younger brother. offspring - none pets / other - none. notable extended family - isabelle, niece and gabriel, nephew.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION.

faceclaim - maika monroe hair color / eye color - blonde / brown height / build - 5′6″ / slender tattoos / piercings - earlobes x 2. a few cartliage piercings. tattoo of ‘the moon’ tarot card on her left forearm. ‘x’ on her right middle finger. distinguishable features - big brown eyes, wild blonde hair

MEDICAL INFORMATION.

medical history - anxiety. known allergies - none. visual impairment / hearing impairment - none. nicotine use / drug use / alcohol use - very rarely will she smoke a cigarette or use drugs. drinks socially.

PERSONALITY.

traits - ( + ) amiable, stalwart, imaginative ; ( - ) melancholy, reserved, petulant tropes - small town boredom, desperately looking for a place in life, mommy issues, relative button, perky goth, cool aunt temperament - phlegmatic alignment - lawful good celtic tree zodiac - holly, the ruler mbti - infp hogwarts house - hufflepuff vice / virtue - envy / diligence likes / dislikes - fairy lights over a dark tapestry, old victorian houses, cats, a new pair of tights with no snags in them, a soft knit sweater, lavender lemonade, almond cookies, the sound of fallen leaves crunching underfoot / people who dislike children, drunk drivers, the after-church sunday rush at her restaurant, ants, boys who are music elitists. quote - “she tastes like nectar and salt. nectar and salt and apples. pollen and stars and hinges. she tastes like fairy tales. swan maiden at midnight. cream on the tip of a fox’s tongue. she tastes like hope.”

FAVORITES.

food - bacon cheeseburger, and sweet potato fries. no mayo. drink - strawberry milkshake pizza topping - jalapenos, chicken, and pineapple color - black and pink music - dark synth, black or thrash metal books - we have always lived in the castle, by shirley jackson movies - suspiria, night of the living dead, uncle buck curse word - bullshit scents - peony, pumpkin, rain

BIOGRAPHY.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: disappearance of a family member, depression, death, car accident. DISCLAIMER: this biography was written for the group rp southouboundhq, but is mostly applicable to all verses.

#joey bio #someday i'll get all of these posted

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mayquita · 5 years

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You’re My Best Friend (2/4)

Can you believe it? I'm posting again just one day later! I had to take advantage of the moment, now that it seems that my muse has decided to make an appearance. I hope you like this second part, which contains a bit of backstory, and some cute moments between Killian, Emma, and Henry.

@saraswans , @onceuponaprincessworld , thank you both for your continuous support. Sara the second part of your gift is here!

(This is unbeta’d, so I apologize in advance for the many mistakes and nonsense)

Summary: Emma shares her passion for Queen with her best friend Killian, with her son and with the rest of her friends. What will happen when Henry encourages them to participate in a Queen karaoke party? Will Emma (or Killian) finally dare to express her (or his) hidden feelings through the lyrics of a song?

Rating: T — Words count: ~3k

First Part —A03 — Ffnet

A few hours later, Emma was in her apartment enjoying another of their traditions on Sunday, movie and popcorn afternoon with her two favorite people in the world, her son and her best friend. They had established that tradition long ago, when Henry was introduced to the Marvel universe and Star Wars. Since then, every Sunday afternoon without exception they met there and enjoyed the good company and their favorite movies.

They had been doing the same thing for a long time, but even so, Emma couldn't help but feel some disbelief at the fact that, despite her history and her need to protect her heart after her traumatic past, she would have been able to open herself up in such a way to a person other than Henry.

That level of blind trust had only been achieved with Killian. The idea of snuggling on the couch with someone who knew all (almost) her secrets without entering a spiral of panic was unthinkable with another person, but with Killian, everything felt so natural, so right, that Emma treasured those moments as something precious.

In fact, that very couch had witnessed confessions of their tragic past on both sides sprinkled with laughter an tears. They had also gotten drunk and even both had fallen asleep together on some occasions, waking hours later wrapped in a blanket that wasn't there previously (Henry's work, of course).

On this occasion, the image on the screen was completely forgotten, going into the background, since Henry was so excited about the Queen event that, since they arrived at the apartment, he had not stopped talking and talking, even though he would have to settle for enjoying it from a distance. Killian —how could it be otherwise?— got along with him. If there was a bigger Queen fan than Henry, that was Killian. The complicity between them was evident, something that Emma valued more than anything and for which she would be eternally grateful. Luckily, his son would never miss a father figure, either in Killian's persona or in that of the other two men around, David (their neighbor and the closest thing to a brother Emma would ever have) and Robin (David's best friend and former Killian's roommate)

Maybe that's where her son's love for the band came from. He had grown up listening to that music since he was a little boy. Well, rather since Killian arrived in the States from England seven years ago and settled in as Robin's roommate in his apartment. It had been him, in fact, who had infected them with his love for Queen in the first place. You could say that the moment Killian had entered their lives, hadn't done it alone, but with Freddie and the band as partners. Now even Henry associated some events with Queen songs and had incorporated some verses into his usual vocabulary.

Is this real life? Is this just fantasy?

If you wanna have a good time, just give me a call

I want it all, and I want it now

And his favorite, whenever he won playing video games or just passed to the next level, he stood with his arms raised in triumph while singing loudly. 'We are the champions!'

"Are you sure you don't want to sing, Mom? It'll be fun!"

"Nope. I'm not singing, kid."

"Not even a song with the group?" Killian asked in a gentle way, nudging her softly with his shoulder. Her lips drew a tight smile as she glanced at him and denied with an imperceptible shake of her head. She appreciated the gesture, his subtle way of assuring that everything would be all right, that she would be accompanied on stage. But still, the trauma she brought from the past was too paralyzing.

Killian knew the reason why she wasn't able to get on stage and sing. That was one of the first confessions she had shared with him on that very couch one night, between shots of rum while they both hummed The Show Must Go On.

He had told her that her voice was magnificent and that maybe she should consider dedicating herself to singing professionally. She had been aware that it had been nothing more than an innocent compliment, but she couldn't help but snort as she shook her head and, after taking a shot in one gulp, she had explained the reasons why that would never happen.

Once upon a time, when she was a little girl she'd had the opportunity to participate in the annual school festival. Emma had clung to that opportunity with all her strength since her dream had always been to get on stage and shine even if it was only for a couple of minutes. It didn't matter if she had to return to her bland and lonely life afterward.

Emma hadn't always been given this chance, jumping from one foster home to the next one or to a group home, never staying the time necessary to form some sort of bond. This time, though, a small ray of hope had appeared among the storm clouds that always accompanied her.

During the weeks leading up to the festival, she had been rehearsing relentlessly, determined that her performance would be perfect. When the day arrived, she had bounced with excitement, the adrenaline rushing through her veins causing her stomach to flutter as her heart pounded in her chest.

All that excitement had gone out the window just a few minutes before going on stage, when she heard two other girls gossiping about her. They had laughed at her and her nervousness while saying that no matter how hard she tried, no one would be there to see her, no one would cheer her up, no one would congratulate her at the end of the day. She could pretend she was a star for a couple of minutes, but when she came down from the stage, she would be the same invisible girl, the same orphan girl she had always been.

Once she stood in the middle of the stage, her throat had closed, leaving her unable to articulate any words as tears of humiliation ran down her cheeks. Not only had her dream of singing vanished in an instant, but the embarrassment and misery she had felt had generated the trauma that had accompanied her ever since.

That sense of loneliness had almost completely disappeared. First, with Henry's arrival and later with the rest of the people she had met along the way and who had accepted her despite her issues. Now her heart was occupied with the love received by her son and her friends, her unconventional family. She also had a source of unceasing love to offer. Even so, that little thorn was still stuck in a corner of her heart, causing a paralyzing fear. Maybe at some point, she would feel sufficiently protected by her loved ones to get rid of that thorn, but that moment had not yet arrived.

Killian put a protective arm over her shoulders, drawing her to him, perhaps perceiving that her old ghosts of the past were hovering in her head. "It's a shame, because there's a song that suits you perfectly." Emma appreciated his attempts, never ignoring what troubled her, but using a tone casual enough to make her feel safe, easing the tension as he managed to get her ghosts back into the recesses of her mind.

"Does it have anything to do with the yellow color?" Henry asked, an incipient smirk blooming on his face.

"You've got it, lad."

Her brows furrowed in confusion, pulling back a bit to look at Killian as she bit her lower lip. "What are you talking about?"

"Why, 'I'm In Love With My Car', of course."

"Really?" She scoffed while directing a suspicious look at the two of them. Henry chuckled in the armchair next to her as Killian's smirk grew wider. "How's that?"

Killian shrugged. "Otherwise it wouldn’t be understood that you still have that atrocious contraption that you call a vehicle."

"Hey, what's wrong with my Bug?" She hit him in the arm with the back of her hand while her scowl deepened.

"Oi, Swan, there's no need for getting violent." He rubbed the area where she had hit him while his lips turned down in an exaggerated pout. “Accept it, love, your car is a minuscule metal trap."

Two could play this game, so Emma rushed to fight back. "I didn't hear you complain when you needed a driver at the beginning when you arrived at The States because you didn't dare to drive on the other side of the road." She crossed her arms while raising an eyebrow in triumph.

This time it was Killian who frowned in an exasperated manner. "That wasn’t the reason at all. I just didn’t have a car at the time."

"Whatever."

Their discussion was cut off when they both heard the sound of a shutter release and turned in Henry's direction.

He ignored them for a moment, typing something on his phone. Then he simply shrugged his shoulders at their scrutiny. "What? You two guys are kind of cute while arguing. I thought the others would like to see it."

Emma's eyes widened as Killian mumbled at her side. "Remind me why we let your lad join the group chat."

"Because I'm cool." Henry raised his eyebrows, a smile pulling at his lips in a gesture too adorable for his own good, causing her heart to melt a bit in the process.

After their little discussion about her beloved car, they continued their talk, trying to match the other members of the group with the most appropriate songs for each of them. Henry seemed to be the only one who didn't hesitate in his predictions while assigning songs to the rest of their friends. His strange occurrences caused them to burst into laughter in more than one occasion, while he assured them that he would be right and that he wanted, once again, graphic proofs of it.

A few hours later, after enjoying pizza in their usual Sunday dinner, Killian finally left to his own apartment. After closing the door, Emma leaned against the smooth surface as she couldn't help a smile of contentment appear on her face while her heart fluttered in her chest. Both Killian and Henry had the ability not only to see through her armor but to make her walls fall down, showing herself with no need for masks. These evenings with her two favorite people, sharing laughter, memories, and complicity, always brought her that feeling of stability and security that she had longed for all her life.

Only when Henry cleared his throat did she realize that she was leaning against the door with a lost look and a goofy smile adorning her face. She pressed her lips together and forced herself to focus, glancing at her son.

"What?"

"Nothing ... It's just that, if by chance you changed your mind about singing…”

“That’s not happening, kid.”

“I know, but…” Henry made an exaggerated pause to make sure he got her attention. “…Just in case you changed your mind, I’ve already chosen the most appropriate song for you, besides the one with the car involved, of course.”

She tried to resist, especially since the mischievous glance he was directing at her didn’t bode well, but finally, her curiosity won. After letting out a heavy sigh, she asked, “and what would it be?”

Before answering, Henry raised an eyebrow in a gesture perhaps too much like the one of certain British guy. “I’d choose You’re my Best Friend.”

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, she wasn't getting the reason why Henry would choose that song when it wasn’t Queen’s best-known verse and wasn’t even one of her favorites.

“Don’t you want to know why?”

She rolled her eyes, realizing that Henry had gotten her to fall into the trap with his enigmatic games while teasing her, something he had learned, once again, from, precisely, her best friend. Something clicked in her brain at that moment, a strange sensation washing over her as her stomach tightened into knots, anticipating what the possible response would be, but still, she couldn’t help asking. “Why?”

Henry’s face split into a giant grin. “Because Killian will be there.”

"Yeah, he'll be there and he's my best friend, but..." Emma's voice trailed off as she realized what her son meant, the lyrics of the song echoing in her brain, causing her heart to skip a beat.

I want you to know

That my feelings are true

I really love you

Oh, you're my best friend

She gasped, feeling a flush creep up her neck to her cheeks. She shook her head in disbelief. In no way was she going to have this kind of conversation with her son. Absolutely not.

She did not have time for a reply, though. Just as she took a deep breath trying to pull herself together, Henry continued.

"I'd have chosen 'I Was Born to Love You', but Uncle David just confirmed me that he and Mary Margaret have already picked it for them, so..." Henry shrugged and then put his phone in front of her eyes, showing David's message.

"Oh my god..." She muttered under her breath, as she felt her cheeks burn again. She forced herself to take a deep breath before answering her son, ignoring the flutter of her stomach and the frantic beating of her heart. "Killian and I are just friends, kid. You already know it."

"I know, I know, that's what you keep saying, but you like him and he likes you." He replied as if it were the most obvious answer. It was evident that he wasn't going to give up so easily.

This was not the first time Henry acted as a matchmaker with the two of them, but until then it had been nothing more than an innocent child's play. This time, however, his face was marked by an expression of determination, while his eyes glowed in a special way.

Her brows knit together while wondering what could have changed for Henry to take up his plan so insistently. Her eyes narrowed as she cast a scrutinizing glance at her son, trying to discern what was going on in his head. An idea popped up in her mind then, causing a sense of guilt to wash over her. What if her son was afraid of losing Killian in some way? What if he was just trying to make sure that Killian would stay by his (their) side one way or another?

"Henry..." She tried, but he cut her shortly.

"How long have you known Killian? I don't even remember not having him around. You have nothing to fear, Mom." Henry insisted, debunking all her excuses by using only a handful of words.

Henry was right, of course. Killian had come into their lives when Henry was only five years old and she was still trying to survive, heartbroken after the abandonment and betrayal of Neal, Henry's father. He, on the other hand, had fled London following in the footsteps of his friend Robin after the death of his girlfriend, Milah.

At that time, both had been so emotionally broken that, even though the attraction between them had been evident from the beginning, they were content to seek refuge in each other, forming an unbreakable friendship, bringing Emma the security and stability that she needed.

"Things are not that simple, Henry... Besides... Killian has made it clear that we're just friends... he does not..." Emma paused, not really knowing how to continue without revealing how she really felt, trying that her voice did not show her vulnerability, her fear of rejection and that their dynamic would change forever if she dared to take the next step.

Henry rolled his eyes before answering. "I may just be only twelve, but even I can see that Killian looks at you the same way David looks at Mary Margaret. He's just waiting for you, Mom."

Another thought crossed her mind at that moment, causing her knees to weaken and her stomach to drop to her toes. "You haven't talked about this with him, have you?" She muttered hating the hint of insecurity in her voice.

"Of course not, but I'm quite perceptive." His lips drew a reassuring smile before continuing. "And no, don't worry, I haven't suggested any songs to him. Yet."

He approached her and reached out, giving her arm an affectionate squeeze. "I just want you to be happy, Mom."

The corners of her lips rose slightly, while she gave him a look full of affection, her chest bursting of pure love towards her son. "I am happy. I have you, I have Killian and all our friends. I don't need anything else." Without waiting for an answer, she pulled Henry toward her, wrapping him in a tight embrace.

She wasn't singing, definitely, but after the conversation with her son, she couldn't help thinking what song Killian would choose, wondering if he would be brave enough for the both of them to express his feelings even if it was through the lyrics of a song.

New verses resounded again in her head. Maybe the time had come, maybe thanks to Queen she would find the necessary strength to take a leap of faith and risk opening her heart again.

So take a chance with me

Let me romance with you

I'm caught in a dream

And my dream's come true

So hard to believe

This is happening to me

An amazing feeling

Comin' through -

The karaoke party will finally happen in the third part. That means Killian is singing :D

Thanks for reading :)

The songs:

I'm In Love With My Car

You’re My Best Friend

I Was Born To Love You

#cs ff #cs au #captain swan #captain swan ff #cs au ff #mayquita writes #my cs writings #captain cobra #swan believer #captain cobra swan #you're my best friend

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blancasplayground · 6 years

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Best and Worst of AoS Season 5

Here is my season five postmortem, in the form of a roundup of what I loved and didn't love. It got really long, so I won't spend too much time on the intro. Let's just dive in. Obviously, major spoilers for the entirety of the season follow.

Best: The Future

For the first half of season five it felt like the team was stuck in a dystopian YA novel. In a good way. It was a bold move to completely change the look and feel of the show, but it worked from both a narrative and production standpoint. Not only did it make the best use of the reduced budget, since they could film primarily indoors on smaller-scale sets, but they didn't have to deal with the goings on in the MCU back home (that would come later -- and it's not on the "best" list). Creating a future from scratch requires tremendous imagination and planning, and they delivered a rich backdrop. I was sorry to leave behind the characters we met there, like Tess and Flint. Of course, they had to return to the present eventually, but they did a really good job of world-building for those episodes.

Worst: Contradicting Time Theories

The showrunners have said in interviews that there were a lot of heated discussions in the writer's room about time travel logic, and it shows. Back in the season-three episode "Spacetime" they gave us one answer (which happened to be one I really liked) -- time is an illusion. As Fitz explained, the past, present and future happen simultaneously. We just experience it in a linear way because we're limited to the third dimension. So it cannot be changed. But when they blew up the Earth for the season’s main storyline, they also blew up that theory, because they HAD to change the future now. They weren't going to allow the world to be cracked apart. It's not that kind of show. Plus, they’re still tied to the MCU, so they couldn't let that future play out. And yet, when they returned to the past they had characters still behaving as if it were fixed (the whole "invincible three" idea, which so many people disliked), but trying to change it anyway. Either the future is pre-determined or it isn't. Trying to have it both ways makes for sloppy and confusing stories. It also gives viewers a headache.

Best: Fitz's Journey

Fitz's absence was notable in the first few episodes, but to make up for it we got "Rewind," one of the best episodes of the season. We saw Fitz struggling with his dark side, only to have to embrace it in the future to save Jemma and Daisy in the most badass way (a total "baller move" as Daisy put it). The blend of pre- and post-Framework Fitz was exactly what they needed at the time. Unfortunately, it may have opened the door for The Doctor to take control in "The Devil Complex." He got a chance to marry the love of his life, but that happiness was short lived. His psychological break (which was an incredible reveal and riveting to watch from an acting standpoint) and what he did to Daisy split the team and the audience, sparking a lot of debate about the nature of good and evil both on screen and off. Which, I think, was exactly the point. Was he redeemable? Could he have learned to control his dark side? Could the team ever learn to accept this new version of Fitz and his morally questionable, yet undeniably effective, methods? We'll never know. Which brings me to . . .

Worst: Fitz's Death

(Jemma gif because I can’t watch that death scene anymore.)

(But this is almost as bad.)

We've been over this, and the wounds are still fresh, so I won't rehash what so many others have said more eloquently. I will point out that the issue is not with the death itself. They had to do it in order to bring back Cryo Fitz (or perhaps because they knew they could), who hasn't experienced the majority of season five. It's an intriguing idea, and should open up a lot of pathways for his story next season. Also, it gave Iain another chance to show off his crazy talent (like he needed more this season, but whatever, we're grateful). It's just the way they did it, and the fact that anyone thought this would be an acceptable sendoff for a fan-favorite character if it really was the last episode. The fake-out (which wasn't even a proper fake out because they REALLY DID have to bury Fitz) undercut what should have been a bigger moment -- Phil's departure and impending death as well. They botched it, plain and simple, and there's no taking that back.

Best: Philinda Endgame

They took their time getting there, but May and Coulson finally expressed their feelings for each other (at least, the human versions), each in their own signature way. May finally telling Phil she loved him just to shut him up was classic May. And that kiss behind the shield ought to go down as one of most iconic TV kisses in history. I sincerely hope they get lots of parasailing in, and, despite it being a lovely sendoff, that we'll see one or both of them back next season. Incidentally, I believe the fact that Robin drew the two of them on the beach in Tahiti before they changed the future means that they wound up together in the previous version of the loop too. Of course, Phil had to be gone to allow May to become Robin's mom, and now I'm giving myself a headache again. See what you've done, season five!

Worst: Team Infighting

This show is never better than when the characters work together as a team, whether it's on an action-packed mission or simply solving a problem on the ground. Which makes the decision to split everyone up along multiple fault lines later in the season a confusing and super frustrating move that wasn't at all fun to watch. Families fight, sure, but the divisions this year were deep, involving the loss of trust and respect, and the questioning of each other's core moral principles. These are not minor squabbles. I'm not sure what they were trying to accomplish by stepping up the tension and having them take sides against each other in the face of their greatest challenge yet, but I don't think it worked out the way they wanted it to. I would love to see everyone come back together and be a family again, as long as it's done realistically without sacrificing characterization.

Best: Graviton

With this season possibly being the last, the writers took the opportunity to pick up a thread they'd left dangling in episode three. Ever since the introduction of gravitonium way back when, fans have been wondering if the show would follow through and deliver the major comic-book villain Graviton. Considering this season could have been the show's swan song, it was a good time to deliver on that promise. And they did, in a way that was surprising yet somehow fitting. Glenn Talbot has been a thorn in Coulson's side since he showed at the end of season one, so to have him become the final Big Bad is a satisfying, if tragic, fate for the character. Especially since, in his twisted mind, he believed he was doing the right thing, right up until the end.

Worst: Ruby Red Herring

Sorry Dove Cameron fans, but the show let your girl down. Despite the potential in her first few episodes, Ruby never lived up to the compelling, cutthroat (or cut-arm, haha) villain they set her up to be (her hooded alter ego never even got a cool villain nickname). As it turned out, she was only there as a distraction, to confuse the characters and the audience about the real identity of the Destroyer of Worlds. And just as she was getting interesting -- the way she watched and mimicked Fitzsimmons alone told us more about her cold upbringing and the lack of human connection in a few moments than we got in all her episodes before that -- they killed her off to give the team something else to fight about.

Best: Nostalgic Callbacks and Fan Service

We got so many callbacks to previous seasons throughout season five. Maybe it's because the writers knew there was a chance this would be the last year, so they packed in as many references to the history of the show as they could. There was also the milestone 100th episode, which naturally lent itself to looking back. In addition to paying off older plot points (see above re: Graviton) they directly acknowledged their loyal viewers with that "small but active fan base" line. It was exciting seeing Mike again. And good to have Davis back too, with his mysterious survival story (that I hope they never reveal). Not to mention Hunter (which I will, down below). These were all gifts to long-time fans and we ate them up.

Worst: Infinity War Tie-In

If you're going to go there (and yeah, they had to, given the show's history), then fully commit to it, rather than using the cop out of ending the season just before the movie's biggest moment. Anyone who's seen it knows that the ending could potentially have a major impact on the show. So embrace that (imagine Phil handing Mack the keys to Lola, only to watch them fall to the ground). Or they could have used the multiverse to disconnect from the MCU once and for all. There were already so many questions going into the finale, whether they would or wouldn't go through with the snap was one debate I could have lived without. And it's still up in the air as to whether it will be a factor next season. Given that the airdate is after the next movie comes out, I'm inclined to think not, but I kind of wish we didn't even have to worry about it.

Bonus Bests:

The Return of Lance Hunter

Every single moment he was in was pure gold. I really hope we haven't seen the last of him.

Fitzsimmons Wedding

I mean, obviously. So beautiful and emotional. A shining moment of light to balance the darkness of the rest of the season..

Deke

I love Deke. End of story. He is still around and he will be back. See my explanation post here. I have no official confirmation of this, I'm just thinking positively.

One final note: These gifs were pulled from all over. I’m still rather new to Tumblr, so if you see something that’s yours and would like credit, let me know (and also if you could let me know how to do it that would be great).

#agents of shield #agents of shield s5 #aos #fitzsimmons #philinda #phil coulson #daisy johnson #leo fitz #jemma simmons #alphonso mackenzie #yoyo rodriguez #deke shaw

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fiinalgiirls · 4 years

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GENERAL INFORMATION.

FAMILY INFORMATION.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION.

MEDICAL INFORMATION.

PERSONALITY.

traits - amiable, stalwart, imaginative ; melancholy, reserved, petulant tropes - small town boredom, desperately looking for a place in life, mommy issues, relative button, perky goth, cool aunt temperament - phlegmatic alignment - lawful good celtic tree zodiac - holly, the ruler mbti - infp hogwarts house - hufflepuff vice / virtue - envy / diligence likes / dislikes - fairy lights over a dark tapestry, old victorian houses, cats, a new pair of tights with no snags in them, a soft knit sweater, lavender lemonade, almond cookies, the sound of fallen leaves crunching underfoot / people who dislike children, drunk drivers, the after-church sunday rush at her restaurant, ants, boys who are music elitists. quote - “she tastes like nectar and salt. nectar and salt and apples. pollen and stars and hinges. she tastes like fairy tales. swan maiden at midnight. cream on the tip of a fox’s tongue. she tastes like hope.”

FAVORITES.

BIOGRAPHY,

trigger warnings: disappearance of a family member, depression, death, car accident

#joey.#♡ ━━━ VISAGE ჻ josephine ryan.#♡ ━━━ CHARACTER STUDY ჻ josephine ryan.#♡ ━━━ AESTHETIC ჻ josephine ryan.#♡ ━━━ SOUNDTRACK ჻ josephine ryan.#♡ ━━━ THREADS ჻ josephine ryan.#♡ ━━━ CONNECTIONS ჻ josephine ryan.#♡ ━━━ WANTED ჻ josephine ryan.#♡ ━━━ RESOURCES ჻ josephine ryan.#♡ ━━━ WARDROBE ჻ josephine ryan.

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devilishdewitt · 5 years

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Ladies of Burlesque, June 2019

Short’n’Sweet, off we go!

First things first, the most important part of any review I shall ever write:

~The Eternal Disclaimer~

It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.

Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.

Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.

However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.

All is sickly without self-irony.

Now, onwards! To fabulousness!

Ah, Michel! Beautiful as you approach it, delightful as you step in, courteous waiters, excellent food!

The stage seemed a tad bit too small and a little bit too close to the audience (to my liking), and seemed quite stifling, really. However, certainly not the worst option in Moscow!

Our gorgeous swan-queen host, Anja Pavlova was on top form both nights. Her hosting excelled - the marriage of her Moscow State University philosophy faculty, English teacher experience (hello, fantasies), European lady class and Russian intelligentsia wit provide endless charm, wittiness and grace. Brava!

The chorus line was better. The routine was polished, they had fun - and so they were fun to watch. But still, ladies! Waists! Synch! It’s not that hard! A little shape goes a long way!

You, dearest darlings, already know how much I adore Ladies of Burlesque.

However, h o w e v e r, there is just one thing I can’t for the life of me understand.

The fascination with Marie Weinberg.

Is she sweet? Undoubtedly.

Is she talented? Sure.

Is she good in this show? No.

Her tone of voice is just not suited to the mood, the vibe, the occasion.

Or she simply doesn’t make it work.

She seems dead scared every time she walks on stage, she doesn’t own the audience, she doesn’t seem to enjoy herself - and the audience feels it!

Being harsh is never my intention, and I have a healthy amount of self-doubt (believe it or not, darling reader!), so I decided to ask a certain number of fellow spectators. An opinion in unison…bland.

She doesn’t feel the energy of the songs she’s singing, either. She seems to simply enjoy the sound of her own voice.

And don’t even get my started on the crumpled, non-ironed dress (girl! Get a steamer!!) and the ill-fitting gloves. Oh, Whineberg…

Blanche de Moscou. Excellent! She completely transforms on stage. The sparkle, the charm, the stories, the moves - it’s all there! This time she entertained us with her “Pink 60’s” and “Kinky” acts. Both were great, though the Kinky one still isn’t Kinky - and even inserting a fox-tail butt-plug into her belle-chose (instead of it’s derrière-destiny) at the Kinky Party didn’t help the cause.

Elisha Fox - excellent as always. Unfortunate that the video projector got in the way of his dance flow (a very low ceiling for a tall performer (especially in those heels!)).

However, his magic is inextinguishable.

Especially the “My Little Pony” addition in the end of the “Magic Lamp” number…self-irony at it’s best!

I know what you’re thinking, darling. It seems as if I write about Elisha is every review. That’s because...it is the truth! He is indeed one of the few (ahem, two) performers who are invited to almost every event. All the cliques, groups and cults want a slice of his boylesque extravaganza. Of course it’s due to the fact that he’s really, really good - but also, he’s one of a kind, and being a boylesque performer in Russia is an act of bold, glittery rebellion.

However, Elisha does get elephantine bonus points for being, indeed, the first and only of his kind in Russia. So if I were to judge our luminary on an international scale, he wouldn’t shine quite as bright, and here’s why.

The marvel lends too much focus to the technique. Burlesque is about the magic of connection - that is what the tease does, creates electricity between the performer and the audience. The tease, the joy, the desire to inspire, the will to share the story...Elisha has everything. Now he has to let it go and enjoy his time on stage. The dancing is perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. Make eye contact! Make a mistake! Breathe! Allow yourself to be alive on that stage. Because the audience wants to be alive with you.

If I could make one wish on the lamp of our dazzling genie...it would be that Tanya, aka @konfetki, would look the part. The producer of such a dazzling event deserves to look as brilliant as the show. Oh, did I say deserves? I meant should. This is in no way an attack on anyone’s freedom of expression, but there are fairly simple style rules that would amp up the full experience. It’s a question of atmosphere, of vibe, of team spirit! When the team spirit is brilliance, you dress accordingly, darling!

It’s a damn shame that Victoria Semmybird wasn’t able to come. Tales of her Dumbo act travel far and wide, and St Petersburg burlesque quite often offers a refreshing quirkiness. Moscow takes itself so seriously...perhaps we shall see a flourish of comedic acts sooner rather than later!

Tamasina Beansun was alright. Her Vaping Moon act was syrupy, sensual and full of deeply-set inner emotional drama, and her Butterfly act was syrupy... sensual...and...well, you get me.

She did expertly get rid of a naughty button - rip it off and throw it away! That’s the temperament that could make her future acts truly shine.

Her Siberian Prime inseparable, Katerina Sahara, was her usual fabulous self. Starting with her Heartbroken act, that suits any occasion with its elegant languid flow & elements of enticing percussion. But it was her second act that really made the room explode with excitement. Take a Russian jazz-pop classic, add a feisty tropical/Cuban costume, add rum, twerking and brilliant charm and you got yourself a treasure.

Masha Arzamasova, a journalist, sex blogger and all-round brilliant lady did a stand up act on night 2 - and it was excellent. Sassy, confident, hilarious - the room was buzzing long after she sat back at her table. Refreshing!

I have a feeling that the Ladies might be lending this modest little writing endeavour a pinch of their attention, as Elena the Stage Kitten had her moment to shine and it was delightful! You go, Lena!

Wish I could say the same about Jeva Noir.

I must say, it takes talent to take one of the most adored and vivid female comic book characters - POISON IVY!!, choose the deliciously malicious Uma Thurman version, make some fern fans…and make it so bland.

Girl.

Posture.

That corset does NOT fit. It’s supposed to SYNCH YOU IN.

The wig is tragic. I’m sorry, but it’s just a fact.

Actually, no. I am not sorry. The reason why I’m making these comments is because I want the quality of Russian burlesque to rise and conquer the world. Someone’s gotta tell the truth!

The choreography is awkward and doesn’t do anything. It’s just moving for the sake of moving.

You can’t take one of the most ironically sexy songs in the history of mankind and NOT make fun of it or at least ENJOY it.

Apparently there is such a thing as too much glitter ( g a s p )

Also, sticky jewels on one’s forehead stopped working since every single festival-going chick started sticking them everywhere.

Caught a glimpse of Eva out of costume - my God, how gorgeous she is! Her elegant bob haircut suits her flawlessly, she carries herself with poise…so what happens when she’s in character?

A perplexing addition to the pantheon of LoB elegance.

I have the antidote to the sadness of this last paragraph, darling reader - our paramount lady, Anja. The two acts she brought to us this time were “A Lady Loves” (the big fan one) and “You’re My Thrill” (the moon act), dedicated to her lucky Persian prince husband.

Well, let me tell you, she was our thrill.

The lady loves and oh, the lady’s loved!

What really makes her stand out is the grace, the raw emotion, the adoration of the music (we can feel it in her bones), and just how much she loves this show and burlesque.

Another thing I must mention is the costume changes. God, I love a good costume change, and Pavlova did indeed bring. it. on.

From her breathtaking golden iris Mucha Bond-girl fantasy to a vivacious green glitter tassel Christmas tree fantasy (sewn in one night with no sewing machine!), it was endlessly entertaining and captivating - much like the lady herself! Also, the new wig length worked superbly well. I daresay that a longer style suited her much better than her usual curly bobs.

“Burlesque is unapologetic”, she manifests towards the end - and god damn, the gal is right! Unapologetic in its confidence, playfulness, storytelling and celebration of being alive in those bizarre, beautiful bodies of ours!

Hoorah, ladies and gentlemen! (of burlesque and beyond)

The Ladies of Burlesque Halloween show will take place on the 1st of November at the same venue, Cafe Michel.

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librarified2004 · 7 years

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Here we go again...

This looked like fun. Hijacked from the amazing @the-random-fandom-one, so the actual title of this should be “@dammittmarie, you made me do another survey!” Reblog with your answers! I want to get more communication going in the writing community here. Answer one, answer some! Answer whatever you want to! 1. What was the first character you ever created? I’ve been writing stories since I could pick up a writing utensil. I think the first character I ever really put a ton of thought into, though, was this character I played in an MMORPG during undergrad. Her name was Lindarian, and her past was tragic: the half-elven child of an illegal union between a mortal and an elf princess, she was basically raised in seclusion only to watch her three older half-brothers and her parents be brutally murdered on her eighteenth birthday. Man, even before I knew what fanfiction was, I knew how to whump a character.

2. Is there a specific thing that made you want to start writing more? The MMORPG I played as an undergrad and grad student went down for good in about 2005, and after that, I stopped writing stories because there was no reason, really, to further develop that character. I got a job and started doing some professional writing--blogs and reviews and that kind of thing. Then I reconnected with an old friend who had written an entire book, and he started pushing me to do fiction again. I played around with some ideas, even published a short story, before I discovered fanfiction through a professional development class that I had to take. I can’t go back to school for my MFA in creative writing at this point, but I think writing fanfic is saving my sanity as well as giving me a sort of ad hoc, DIY MFA where I work at my own pace and set my own curriculum. Plus, some days it really saves my sanity. In the wise words of Lin-Manuel Miranda, I can pick up a pen and write my own deliverance.

3. Favorite character you’ve ever created? In the short story I published, “Swan Song,” I had this side character who existed simply to be my villain. I didn’t pay him much attention until very late in the creative process, when the editor said the big reveal was too abrupt. (He was right.) So I took that character out to coffee--literally, I took my laptop and a notebook to my favorite coffee place so I could have a distraction-free conversation with him--lit him a smoke (funny thing, I don’t smoke, but literally everyone in that story does and my smoker friends say I got that exactly right), and really, for the first time, tried to get to know him. I knew only the basics, but it turned out he had this whole past (tragic) and motivations that I’d never even seen. Knowing all this didn’t just change the reveal, it pivoted the entire story, and when I sat down to rework that reveal, the words just poured out. It turned out that he was rather an anti-villain and he ended up in an awesome place--if I ever write a sequel to that story, it will be his to tell. Nik, the villain of “Swan Song,” is my favorite because he taught me to look deeper, love harder, and never have a character unless you’ve taken the time to know them all the way down to their shoe size.

4. Do your stories tend to have only a few characters or a lot?

As few as possible. In fact, I kind of freak out a little bit when I realize I need another character to serve some purpose.

5. Do you sit down and plan out your worlds or just let them build themselves as you write?

Some of both, really. I tend to write a lot of fanfiction exchanges (or at least, that’s what gets published), and I always do a thorough canon review before I start plotting so I can get voices and world-building details right. My one published original short story is set in Moscow during WWII, and I did a bunch of research on that setting and time period before I went in, but I never really tried to force anything to fit. Interestingly, during revisions, I was able to go back and add date stamps to certain plot points based on my historical research. But that story also has a magic twist to it (it was for a fantasy anthology) and the magic part just came to me, no building required.

6. Do you ever meet people and want to write about them? Fictional characters, all the time. I love writing missing scenes. I don’t put much of real-life people into my characters (but I totally could--I work in a public library. Public libraries are literally the last remaining free resource in this country and my job is madness.)

7. What kind of environment do you do most of your writing in? Music or no music? Loud or quiet? In private or wherever? Depends on the day and the story. I have a novel in progress (which will never be finished, probably) and for that I have entire playlists of music for each character. But if there’s music, there can’t be words in a language I can understand, because I will end up singing along. No TV or movies, because I end up watching instead of writing. I like my backyard, and even better, my parents’ backyard. But when all else really fails, I’ll jot out whatever in the notes on my phone. I’m picky, but not picky at all. And if I’m on deadline, I will make that deadline come hell or high water or plague or fire or mass destruction.

8. Do the people in your life ever read what you write, or do you tend to not show them? Not fanfiction. I’m very, very protective of my writing in general. My mom was an English teacher (in fact, she was MY English teacher in tenth grade), and even when I was an undergrad getting my B.A. in English comp, she read all my essays with a red pen (after they’d been graded--and I graduated with a 4.0 in my major!). When I published my original short, she was so proud--and then she pointed out a glaring continuity mistake I had missed in about nine million rounds of editing. When I read my own stuff, I only see the mistakes, so I’m also shy about showing it to anyone else. That said, I have about a million partial fics rotting on my hard drive, phone notes, and Google docs, so someone might want to go after them if I ever shuffle off this mortal coil.

9. What inspires you? Oh my, so much. Music, other people’s stories, history, walks in the woods, the way the lights in the children’s room at the library change color. Literally everything. Probably the better question is who pushes me, and the answer to that is @dammittmarie, who got me into the school’s Dead Poets Society in undergrad (we met at midnight in the basement of the library and damn, we were cool) and the beautiful @rain-and-roses-in-the-city, who puts up with my crazy ideas, my headcanons, lets me play in her sandbox, and sometimes has even seen the partial stories I talked about earlier.

10. What’s the weirdest character you’ve ever created? Don’t really have one.

11. What’s the most boring character you’ve ever created? All of them, it feels like sometimes :)

12. Do you name your background characters? Do you even have them? I learned a hard lesson about knowing my characters, so now, if I can’t flesh them out, they don’t appear.

13. Are you one of the writers who writes in symbolism and specifically thinks about things like the color of a hat or that kind of thing? Or do you just pick those things at random? Sometimes. Not always.

14. Are there any authors you feel have influenced your style? Published authors, fanfic authors, ect. I learn things from everywhere. My gold standard for plot twists is the end of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which made me screech out loud on an airplane years ago. I think the Hamilton fandom in particular is full of talent, and the WhamFam especially (you know who you are). And going back to @dammittmarie, she’s the one who made me unashamed of being a whump writer.

15. Were you a story teller before you could write? Yes! I devoured books as a kid, and handwriting came super hard to me. You couldn’t read my penmanship until I was in junior high, so I learned storytelling in the oral tradition first.

16. How many characters have you created? Not too many. I tend not to write OCs in fanfiction for fear of them coming out like total, obvious Mary Sues. There are maybe a dozen characters in “Swan Song.”

17. Do your stories tend to take place in the real world or in a fantasy world? Both? Neither?

That depends on the story

18. Do you tend to set your stories in the present or the past or the future? Do you think about when it’s set or does that not factor into the story?

Whatever works on a given day for a given story, I guess. I love, love, love the canon era of Hamilton, but I also like modern AUs if they’re done well. So yeah, whatever works.

19. What kind of things do you like to write? Poetry? Short stories? Novels? Fanfiction? Children’s Books? Nonfiction? Something else entirely? Fan fiction for pleasure. My professional life includes writing book reviews, blog posts on various topics, and newsletters, so fan fiction is escapism for me.

20. Do you like to do events like NaNoWriMo or the Three Day Novel, or do you prefer to do things at your own pace? Yes and no. In my professional life, I’m a volunteer blogger and reviewer on top of the demands of my day job, so I’m almost always on deadline for something. (Right this second is actually an exception--I wrote two articles this weekend and I’m deadline-free until at least April 1.) I tend to write fan fiction at my own (snail on a strong sedative’s) pace, but I have signed up for NaNoWriMo a few times, and I might do Camp NaNo in April because I have a 5k exchange piece due at the end of the month. And the one piece that I’ve published that wasn’t fan fiction actually got finished because I went to a signing where there were like six people and ended up pouring my heart out to this poor author. I told her I had a story and no idea how to start, and she told me to write 100 words a day for 100 days and tweet her my word count every day. If I missed a day, I had to start over. I made it to 100 days, just over 11,000 words, and that piece is good--you can even buy it on Amazon.

#survey #dammittmarie #writer confession

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sleepingprinceonice · 7 years

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Georgi, the 3rd Yuri - Part 2

DISCLAIMER: This is a long meta. I wrote this along with a friend and we spent pretty much a week analyzing a lot of stuff, from the anime scenes to interviews and even song lyrics. There’s a ton of text, many links and it can get kind of pretty image heavy in some parts.

To help with this, and for organization’s sake, we divided this meta in 4 parts.

Part 1 - Georgi, the Chekhov’s Gunman and 3rd Yuri in Yuri!!! On Ice

Part 2 - Georgi, Victor, and The Sleeping Beauty

Part 3 - The types of love and Victor’s long hair

Part 4 - The romantic songs and Victor’s first love

Georgi, Victor, and The Sleeping Beauty

As observed and rightly praised, YOI plays a lot with gender stereotypes, but only four characters do it clearly; Victor, with his long hair and Lilac Fairy outfit, Yuuri Katsuki, who incorporated a feminine role in Eros, Yurio, who trained to become a prima ballerina for his programs, and Georgi, who played the role of Carabosse in his short program and wore an outfit that combines elements of both genders for his free skate.

Who else did the same thing in regards to their outfit?

A lateral half skirt, also present in Georgi’s free skate, that shares the roles of prince and princess in his own version of The Sleeping Beauty, where he was also Carabosse, the cruel fairy. And you know who else was a fairy, right? No? But the answer’s right up there: Victor! And the simillarities don’t stop there: this fairy that Victor interpreted in Worlds Junior is no one else but the Lilac Fairy, a character that also gets attention in The Sleeping Beauty ballet.

Georgi’s short program brought us the interpretation of the first part of this composition, the apparition of the fairy Carabosse, while the end of it brings us the Lilac Fairy.

“Buuh, but if its lilac then why is Victor’s outfit black?”

Because Yuuri’s color palette, the character that makes use of the outfit the most, wouldn’t work with this color? Because they thought it was best not to call a lot of attention to such an obvious detail?

There was a purple color scheme that was taken in consideration for this outfit. Of course it was, after all, the ouftit wasn’t made for Yuuri at first, it was borrowed from Victor. It wasn’t made to tell us the story of Eros, but it brings us the past of the Russian skater, a past the he remembers fondly as we can see when Victor, during episode 3, remembers it with an air of nostalgia, smiling differently when compared to other scenes, where his heart shaped mouth makes the moments seem less serious.

Whatever memories make him happy in regards to this outfit, they’re probably related to this picture:

So much pleasure, so much nostalgia, in the mere act of combing someone’s hair? Something deeper might bring this satisfaction, it’s the fact that he’s reproduzing this act with someone dear to him, the same kind of affectionate gesture and care that someone must have had with him some day in the past. But was it recent of from far away ago? Considering that his young apparitions (where Victor has long hair) are the ones that most empathize his happiness, these memories must come from these days, when he still had the luxury to be the Lilac Fairy.

But why our insistence with The Sleeping Beauty? Why do we keep on pressing on the same button?

You see: the Lilac Fairy is not The Sleeping Beauty’s protagonist. Why would Victor, the prodigy, Russia’s number 1, the national pride, interpret a secondary character if he’s the star of all of his presentations? He should at least skate to the main waltz, right? Well, it’s here that lies the answer; even though the Lilac Fairy is secondary, she’s the one that keeps the plot moving. Whowever, she’s not the only one that does that; Carabosse’s also there, and she’s a secondary character as well.

Until now we can understand pretty easily, Yakov made sure to explain us about how Georgi was always in Victor’s shadow, which makes sense for him to assume a secondary role. Still, as we already said, Carabosse and the Lilac Fairy move The Sleeping Beauty’s plot. They’re not protagonists, but they’re essencial for the story to happen. Without Carabosse, the Lilac Fairy’s role would be nothing, and withouth the Lilac Fairy, there would be no one to balance the shadows brought by Carabosse.

It’s because of this huge importance, this necessity that they have for each other to exist, that they share the same song, the same scene, the same stage, be it made of ice or not.

Yes, Sleeping Beauty on Ice, we’re talking about you.

Now, think with us: why The Sleeping Beauty? Why a secondary role if the most famous ballet in the world is Swan Lake? If playing with gender roles is something that the Lilac Fairy does, why not give Victor the role of Odette and make him skate to the Swan Lake Waltz for a brilliant interpretation, worthy of him? Why not the ballet comissioned by the Bolshoi? And why would Georgi skate to The Sleeping Beauty if Swan Lake is also a dramatic romance with a tragic ending, just like how we’re made to believe that’s the way Georgi sees his break up with Anya?

The Swan lake, besides all that, was Tchaikovsky’s first ballet. The first composition for Russia’s number 1 sounds adequate, doesn’t it? Oh, you want to know what’s the second one? Hint: it starts with The Sleeping and ends with Beauty. The same ballet comissioned to have its debut in St Petersburg, coincidently - or not - Yakov’s team training place. The same ballet with a waltz shared by Victor and Georgi.

We ask again: why didn’t they skate to the Swan Lake, a romance with a tragic ending, instead of The Sleeping Beauty, a story that celebrates the love that survives over the years?

Another interesting point to keep in mind is that in Russian ballet, The Sleeping Beauty doesn’t have a designated villain, contraty to the Swan Lake; it’s the passage of time the one that reunites the main couple, reminding us that time is the best medicine. It’s also time that, in Tchaikovsky’s composition, cures the curse cast by Carabosse - transformed by the Lilac Fairy -, until the long awaited happy ending.

Do we have any villain in YOI besides Yuuri Katsuki’s anxiety?

Besides the strong references from The Sleeping Beauty, Georgi Popovich himself seems to have many characteristics inspired by Tchaikovsky; he also dedicated one of his pieces to a woman, is known for being a romantic musician, would rather promote his art than his public life, and was only appreciated by his ballet compositions at the end of his career. Considering Georgi’s age, who’s also on the brink of retiring?

It’s observed in Tchaikovsky’s compositions that at the start of his career he made happy pieces of a nationalist character, while the last ones were about fate, perturbation and despair. And despair is the artistic trace most brought upon by our Carabosse during this first season.

Besides that, even if he’s admired for his music, Tchaikovsky was never part of The Mighty Handful, composed by the best Russian musicians of his time. It is also Georgi who’s one of the best of his country, but for some reason, not accepetd at Victor’s side, even though we already have enough proof to say the opposite. He is at Victor’s side on the ice, and everything makes us believe that he was at his side outside of the rinks as well.

And the separation, for what reason did it happen? We still don’t know, however, Tchaikovsky reached to the point of letting go of his happiness so his family and loved ones wouldn’t be harmed. With so much familiarity between the two Russian skaters, would that be another similarity ready to be adressed in the future? After Agape and Eros, when does Philia becomes Storge?

Continued in the next post. (x)

#yoi meta #yoimeta #yuri on ice #georgi popovich #victor nikiforov #meta #my meta

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Upcoming Must-See Movies in 2021

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It’s 2021. Finally. If you’re reading this, it means you’ve hopefully gotten through the wreckage of last year unscathed and are ready for a brighter future. And if you’re also a movie lover, this certainly includes a trip (or 20) back to the cinemas.

Sure, theaters were technically open in some places last fall, but the moviegoing season has largely remained dormant since March 2020. Yet given good news about vaccines starting to become available, and an absolutely stacked 2021 movie release calendar, we have reasons to be cautiously optimistic.

Indeed, 2021 promises many of the most anticipated films from last year, plus new surprises. From the superhero variety like Black Widow to the art house with Wes Anderson’s The French Dispatch, 2021 could be a much needed respite. So below is just a sampling of what to expect from the year to come…

The Little Things

January 29

One of the year’s earliest high profile releases is also the first of WB’s film slate on HBO Max. The Little Things is a serial killer thriller in the old school mold. It also boasts a brutally talented cast that includes Denzel Washington and Rami Malek as the detectives, and Jared Leto as the killer. As the latest movie from John Lee Hancock (The Founder, The Alamo), this looks like the type of star-led seediness that used to dominate the multiplex.

Maclolm and Marie

February 5

Assassination Nation writer-director Sam Levinson returns for a decidedly stripped down and intimate character study about two people on the threshold of their lives changing–and perhaps splitting apart. With Zendaya and John David Washington in roles unlike anything we’ve seen the pair in before, they play a couple returning home after the premiere of Malcolm’s (Washington) first movie. He’s on the cusp of life-changing success as a director, but when confronted by Marie about past secrets and hard truths… the night takes a turn.

Judas and the Black Messiah

February 12

It’s kind of hard to wrap one’s head around the annual “Oscar race” in a year when little trophies don’t seem so damn important, but Warner Bros. feels strongly enough about this movie that it’s getting it into theaters and on HBO Max right in the thick of the pandemic-delayed awards season. And judging by the marketing, it’s bringing heat with it.

Shaka King directs and co-writes the story of Fred Hampton (Daniel Kaluuya), who became the chairman of the Illinois chapter of the Black Panther Party in the late 1960s and was murdered in cold blood by police in 1969. LaKeith Stanfield plays William O’Neal, a petty criminal who agreed to help the FBI take Hampton down. This promises to be incendiary, relevant material — and it’s almost here.

Minari

February 12

Lee Isaac Chung directs Steven Yeun–now fully shaking off his years as Glenn on The Walking Dead–in this semi-autobiographical film about a South Korean family struggling to settle down in rural America in the 1980s. Premiering nearly a year ago at the Sundance Film Festival, where it won both the U.S. Dramatic Grand Jury Prize and the U.S. Dramatic Audience Award, Minari had a quick one-week virtual release in December, with a number of critics placing it on their Top 10 lists for 2020.

Its story of immigration and assimilation currently has a perfect 100 percent score on Rotten Tomatoes, with critics lauding its heart, grace, and sensitivity. A few of ours also considered it among 2020’s best.

Nomadland

February 19

Utilizing both actors and real people, director Chloé Zhao (The Rider, Marvel’s upcoming Eternals) chronicles the lives of America’s “forgotten people” as they travel the West searching for work, companionship and community. A brilliant Frances McDormand stars as Fern, a woman in her mid-60s who lost her husband, her house, and her entire previous existence when her town literally vanished following the closure of its sole factory.

Zhao’s film quietly flows from despair to optimism and back to despair again, the hardscrabble lives of its itinerant cast (many of them actual nomads) foregrounded against often stunning–if lonely–vistas of the vast, empty American countryside.

I Care a Lot

February 19

A solid cast, led by Rosamund Pike, Peter Dinklage, Chris Messina, and Dianne Wiest, star in this satirical crime drama from director J. Blakeson (The Disappearance of Alice Creed). Pike plays Marla, a con artist whose scam is getting herself named legal guardian of her elderly marks and then draining their assets while sticking them in nursing homes. She’s ruthless and efficient at it, until she meets a woman (Wiest) whose ties to a crime boss (Dinklage) may prove too much of a challenge for the wily Marla. It was one of our favorites out of Toronto last year.

The Father

February 26

Anthony Hopkins gives a mesmerizing, and deeply tragic, performance as Anthony, an elderly British man whose descent into dementia is reflected by the film itself, which plays with time, setting, and continuity until both Anthony and the viewer can no longer tell what is real and what is not. Olivia Colman is equally moving as his daughter, who wants to get on with her own life even as she watches her father’s disintegrate in front of her.

We saw The Father last year at the AFI Fest and it ended up being a favorite of 2020; Hopkins is unforgettable in this bracing, heartbreaking work, which is stunningly adapted by first-time director Florian Zeller from his own award-winning play.

Chaos Walking

March 5

This constantly postponed sci-fi project has become one of those “we’ll believe it when we see it” films until it actually comes out. Shot nearly three and a half years ago by director Doug Liman, Chaos Walking has undergone extensive reshoots and was at one point reportedly deemed unreleasable.

Based on the book The Knife of Letting Go, it places Tom Holland (Spider-Man: Far From Home) and Daisy Ridley (The Rise of Skywalker) on a distant planet where Ridley, the only woman, can hear the thoughts of all the men due to a mysterious force called the Noise.

Raya and the Last Dragon

March 5

Longtime Walt Disney Animation Studios head of story, Paul Briggs (Frozen), will make his directorial debut on this original Disney animated fantasy, which draws upon Eastern traditions to tell the tale of a young warrior who goes searching for the world’s last dragon in the mysterious land of Kumandra. Cassie Steele will voice Raya while Awkwafina (The Farewell) will portray Sisu the dragon.

Disney Animation has been nearly invincible in recent years with other hits like Moana and Zootopia, so watch for this one to be another major hit for the Mouse.

Coming 2 America

March 5

The notion of whether nostalgia-based properties are still viable has cropped up repeatedly in the last few years. However, streaming, which is where Coming 2 America finds itself headed post-COVID, makes golden oldies much safer. This sequel—based on a 32-year-old comedy that was one of Eddie Murphy’s most financially successful hits—sees Murphy back as Prince Akeem, of course, along with Arsenio Hall returning as his loyal friend Semmi.

The plot revolves around Akeem’s discovery, just as he is about to be crowned king, that he has a long-lost son living in the States (we’re not sure how that happened, but let’s just go with it). That, of course, necessitates another visit to our shores—that is, if Akeem and Semmi presumably don’t get stopped at the border. The film reunites Murphy with Dolemite is My Name director Craig Brewer, so perhaps they can make some cutting-edge social comedy out of this?

The King’s Man

March 12

This might be a weird thing to say: but has World War I ever seemed so stylish? It is with Matthew Vaughn at the helm.

An origin story of sorts for the organization that gave us Colin Firth and the umbrella, The King’s Man is a father and son yarn where Ralph Fiennes’ Duke of Oxford is reluctant about his son Conrad (Harris Dickinson) joining the war effort. But they’ll both be up to it as the Duke launches an intelligence gathering agency independent from any government. It also includes Gemma Arterton, Matthew Goode, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson as charter members.

Oh, and did we mention they fight Rasputin?

Godzilla vs. Kong

March 26

Here we are, at last at the big punch up between Godzilla and King Kong. They both wear a crown, but in the film that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures have been building toward since 2014, only one can walk away with the title of the king of all the monsters.

Admittedly, not everyone loved the last American Godzilla movie, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, but we sure did. Still, Godzilla vs. Kong should be a different animal with Adam Wingard (You’re Next, The Guest) taking over directorial duties. It also has a stacked cast with some familiar faces (Kyle Chandler, Millie Bobby Brown, and Ziyi Zhang) and plenty of new ones (Alexander Skarsgård, Eiza González, Danai Gurira, Lance Reddick, and more).

It’ll probably be better than the original, right? And hey with its HBO Max rollout, questions of a poor box office run sure are conveniently mooted!

No Time to Die

April 2

Nothing lasts forever, and the Daniel Craig era of James Bond is coming to an end… hopefully in 2021. In fact, delays notwithstanding, it’s a bit of a surprise Craig is getting an official swan song with this movie after the star said he’d rather “slash his wrists” before doing another one. Well, we’re glad he didn’t, just as we’re hopeful for his final installment in the tuxedo.

Director Cary Joji Fukunaga is a newcomer to the franchise, but that might be a good thing after how tired Spectre felt, and Fukunaga has done sterling work in the past on True Detective and Maniac. He also looks to bring the curtain down on the whole Craig oeuvre by picking up on the last movie’s lingering threads, such as 007 driving off into the sunset with Léa Seydoux’s Madeleine Swann, while introducing new ones that include Rami Malek as Bond villain Safin and Ana de Armas as new Bond girl Paloma. Yay for the Knives Out reunion!

Mortal Kombat

April 16

Not to be deterred by the relative failure of Sony’s Monster Hunter in theaters at the tail end of 2020, Warner Bros. is giving this venerable video game franchise another shot at live-action cinematic glory after two previous tries in the 1990s. Director Simon McQuoid makes his feature debut while the script comes from Dave Callaham (Wonder Woman 1984, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings) and the cast includes a number of actors you’ve seen in other films but can’t quite place.

The plot? Who knows! But we’re guessing it will feature gods, demons, and warriors battling for control of the 18 realms in various fighting tournaments. What else do you want?

A Quiet Place Part II

April 23

The sequel to one of 2018’s biggest surprises, A Quiet Place Part II comes with major expectations. And few may hold it to a higher standard than writer-director John Krasinski. Despite (spoiler) the death of his character in the first film, Krasinski returns behind the camera for the sequel after saying he wouldn’t. The story he came up with apparently was too good to pass up.

The film again stars Emily Blunt as the often silenced mother of a vulnerable family, which includes son Marcus (Noah Jupe) and deaf daughter Regan (Millicent Simmonds). However, now that they know how to kill the eagle-eared alien monsters who’ve taken over their planet, the cast has grown to include Cillian Murphy and Djimon Hounsou. While the film has been delayed due to the coronavirus outbreak, trust us that it’ll be worth the wait. Is it finally time for… resistance?

Last Night in Soho

April 23

Fresh off the success of 2017’s Baby Driver (his biggest commercial hit to date), iconoclastic British director Edgar Wright returns with what is described as a psychological and possibly time-bending horror thriller set in London. Whether this features Wright’s trademark self-aware humor remains to be seen, but since the film is said to be inspired by dread-inducing genre classics like Repulsion and Don’t Look Now, he might be going for a different effect this time.

The cast, of course, is outstanding: upstarts Anya Taylor-Joy (Queen’s Gambit) and Thomasin McKenzie (Jojo Rabbit) will face off with Matt Smith (Doctor Who), and British legends Diana Rigg and Terence Stamp. And the truth is we’re never going to miss one of Wright’s movies. Taylor-Joy talked to us here about finding her 1960s lounge singer voice for the film.

Black Widow

May 7

Some would charitably say it arrives a decade late, but Black Widow is finally getting her own movie. This is fairly remarkable considering she became street pizza in Avengers: Endgame, but this movie fits snugly between the events of Captain America: Civil War and Avengers: Infinity War. It also promises to be the most pared down Marvel Studios movie since 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and that’s a good thing.

In the film, Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff is on the run after burning her bridges with the U.S. government and UN. This brings her back to the spy games she thought she’d escaped from her youth, and back in the orbit of her “sister” Yelena (Florence Pugh). Old wounds are ripped open, old Soviet foes, including David Harbour as the Red Guardian and Rachel Weisz as Nat and Yelena’s girlhood instructor, are revealed, and many a fight sequence with minimal CGI will be executed.

How’s that for a real start to Phase 4? Of course that’s still assuming this comes out before The Eternals after it was delayed, again, due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Spiral

May 21

Chris Rock has co-written the story for a new take on the Saw franchise. Never thought we’d write those words! The fact that it also stars Rock, as well as Samuel L. Jackson, is likewise head-turning. It looks like they’re going for legitimate horror with Darren Lynn Bousman attached to direct after helming three of the Saw sequels, and its grisly pre-COVID trailer from last year.

Hopefully this will be better than most of the franchise that came before, and given the heavily David Fincher-influenced tone of the first trailer, we’re willing to cross our fingers and play this game.

Free Guy

May 21

What would you do if you discovered that you were just a background character in an open world video game—and that the game was soon about to go offline? That’s the premise of this existential sci-fi comedy from director Shawn Levy, best known for the Night at the Museum series and as an executive producer and director on Stranger Things. Ryan Reynolds stars as Guy, a bank teller who discovers that his life is not what he thought it was, and in fact isn’t even real—or is it? We’ve seen a preview of footage, so we’d suggest you think Truman Show, if Truman was trapped in Grand Theft Auto.

May 28

Just when you thought this never-say-die franchise had shown us everything it could possibly dream up, it ups the stakes one more time: the ninth entry in the Fast and Furious saga (excluding 2019’s Hobbs and Shaw) will reportedly take Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his cohorts into space as they battle Dom’s long-lost brother Jakob (John Cena, making a long-overdue debut in this series). Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Jordana Brewster, Helen Mirren, and Charlize Theron all also return, as does director Justin Lin, who took a two-film break from his signature series. Expect to see the required physics-defying stunts, logic-defying action and even more talk about “family” than usual.

Cruella

May 28

Since Disney has already made an animated 101 Dalmatians in 1961 and a live-action remake in 1996, it is apparently time to tell the story again Maleficent-style. Hence we now focus on the viewpoint of iconic villainess Cruella de Vil, played this time by Emma Stone. She’s joined in the movie by Emma Thompson, Paul Walter Hauser, and Mark Strong, with direction handled by Craig Gillespie (sort of a step down from 2017’s I, Tonya, if you ask us).

The story has been updated to the 1970s, but Cruella–now a fashion designer–still covets the fur of dogs for her creations. This is a Mouse House joint, so don’t expect it to get too dark, and don’t be completely surprised if it ends up as a premium on Disney+ in lieu of its already delayed theatrical release.

Infinite

May 28

This sci-fi yarn from director Antoine Fuqua (The Equalizer) stars Mark Wahlberg as a man experiencing what he thinks are hallucinations, but which turn out to be memories from past lives. He soon learns that there is a secret society of people just like him, except that they have total recall of their past identities and have acted to change the course of history throughout the centuries.

Based on the novel The Reincarnationist Papers by D. Eric Maikranz, this was originally a post-Marvel vehicle for Chris Evans. He dropped out, and the combination of Fuqua and Wahlberg hints at something more action-oriented than the rather cerebral premise suggests. The film also stars Sophie Cookson, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Dylan O’Brien.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

June 4

James Wan is already directing a new horror film this year so he’s stepping away from the directorial duties on the third film based on the paranormal investigations of Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga). That task has fallen to Michael Chaves (The Curse of La Llorona), so expect plenty of the same Wan Universe touches: heavy atmosphere, superb use of sound, and shocking, eerie visuals.

Details are scarce, but the plot—like the other two Conjuring films—is taken from the true-life case of a man who went on trial for murder and said as his defense that he was possessed by a demon when he committed his crimes. That’s all we know for now, except that, intriguingly, Mitchell Hoog and Megan Ashley Brown have been cast as younger versions of the Warrens.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

June 11

With the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot criticized (fairly) for its lack of imagination and castigated (unfairly as hell) for its all-female ghost-hunting crew, director Jason Reitman–finally cashing in on the family name by returning to the brand his dad Ivan directed to glory in 1984–has crafted a direct sequel to the original films.

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Set 30 years later, Afterlife follows a family who move to a small town only to discover that they have a long-secret connection to the OG Ghostbusters. Carrie Coon (The Leftovers), Finn Wolfhard (Stranger Things) and Paul Rudd (Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania) star alongside charter cast members Dan Aykroyd, Ernie Hudson, Sigourney Weaver, Annie Potts, and, yes, Bill Murray.

In the Heights

June 18

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first Broadway hit musical gets the big screen treatment (by way of HBO Max) from director Jon M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians). Set in Washington Heights over the course of a three-day heat wave, the plot and ensemble cast carry echoes of both Rent and Do the Right Thing. While a success on the stage—if not quite the cultural phenomenon that Miranda’s next show, Hamilton—it remains to be seen whether In the Heights can strike a chord with streaming audiences.

Luca

June 18

Continuing its current run of all-new, non-sequel original films started in 2020 with Onward and Soul, Pixar will unveil Luca this summer. Directed by Enrico Casarosa–making his feature debut after 18 years with the animation powerhouse–the film tells the story of a friendship between a human being and a sea monster (disguised as another human child) on the Italian Riviera. That’s about all we have on it for now, except that the cast includes Drake Bell and John Ratzenberger.

Pixar’s recent track record has included masterpieces like Inside Out, solid sequels like Toy Story 4, and shakier propositions like The Incredibles 2, but we don’t have any indication yet of what to expect from Luca.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

June 25

Can anyone honestly say that 2018’s Venom was a “good” movie? A batshit insane movie, yes, and perhaps even an entertaining one in its own nutty way, but good or not, it made nearly a billion bucks at the box office so here we are.

Tom Hardy will return to peel more scenery down with his teeth as both Eddie Brock and his fanged, towering alien symbiote while Woody Harrelson will fulfill his destiny and play Cletus Kasady, aka Carnage, the perfected hybrid of psychopathic serial killer and red pile of vicious alien goo. Let the carnage begin!

Top Gun: Maverick

July 2

It’s been 34 years since Tom Cruise first soared through the skies as hotshot pilot Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, and he’ll take to the air once more in a sequel that also features Val Kilmer, Jennifer Connelly, Miles Teller, Jon Hamm, and more. The flying and action sequences from director Joseph Kosinski (who worked with Cruise on Oblivion) will undoubtedly be first-rate, but the studio (Paramount) has to be nervous after seeing one nostalgia-based franchise after another (Blade Runner, Charlie’s Angels, Terminator, The Shining) crash and burn recently.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

July 10

With Shang-Chi, Marvel Studios hopes to do for Asian culture what the company did with the groundbreaking Black Panther nearly three years ago: create another superhero epic with a non-white lead and a mythology steeped in a non-Western culture. Simu Liu stars in the title role as the “master of kung fu,” who must do battle with the nefarious Ten Rings organization and its leader, the Mandarin (the “real” one, not the imposter from Iron Man 3, played here by the legendary Tony Leung). Director Destin Daniel Cretton (Just Mercy) will open up a whole new corner of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with this story and character, whose origins stretch back to 1973.

The Forever Purge

July 9

One day nearly eight years ago, you went to see a low-budget dystopian sci-fi/horror flick called The Purge, and the next thing you know, it’s 2021 and you’re getting ready to see the fifth and allegedly final entry in the series (which has also spawned a TV show). Written by creator James DeMonaco and directed by Everardo Gout, the film will once again focus on the title event, an annual 12-hour national bacchanal in which all crime, even murder, is legal. How this ends the story, and where and when it falls into the context of the rest of the films, remains a secret for now. Filming was completed back in February 2020, with the film’s release delayed from last summer by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Space Jam: A New Legacy

July 16

There are two types of folks when it comes to the original Space Jam of 1996: those who were between the ages of three and 11 when it came out, and everyone else. In one camp it is an unsightly relic of ‘90s cross-promotional cheese; in the other, it’s a sports movie classic. Luckily for kids today, NBA star LeBron James was 11 for most of ’96, and he’s bringing back the hoops and the Looney Tunes in Space Jam: A New Legacy.

The film will be among the many Warner Bros. pics premieres on HBO Max and in theaters this year, and it will see King James share above-the-title credits with Bugs Bunny. All is as it should be.

Uncharted

July 16

An Uncharted movie has been a long time coming. How long you might ask? Well, when the idea of an Uncharted movie first started getting bandied around Hollywood, the earliest game in the series just launched to rave reviews in the PlayStation 3’s first year. We’re now on PlayStation 5(!), and Mark Wahlberg has gone from angling to play young hero Nathan Drake to starring his wisecracking sidekick, Victor “Sully” Sullivan.

Still, we’re here with an Uncharted movie finally in the can. Directed by Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland, Venom), the video game movie stars everyone’s favorite web-head, Tom Holland, as Drake, a pseudo-modern day Indiana Jones. Whether it lives up to that older franchise’s storied legacy remains to be seen (especially given its gaming roots), but one thing’s for sure, Holland will get to show off more gymnast skill thanks to Uncharted’s famous parkour iconography.

The Tomorrow War

July 23

An original IP attempting to be a summer blockbuster? As we live and breathe. The Tomorrow War marks director Chris McKay’s first foray into live-action after helming The Lego Batman Movie. The film stars Chris Pratt as a soldier from the past who’s been “drafted by scientists” to the present in order to fight off an alien invasion overwhelming our future’s military. One might ask why said scientists didn’t use their fancy-schmancy time traveling shenanigans to warn about the impending aliens, but here we are.

Jungle Cruise

July 30

Disney dips into its theme park rides again as a source for a movie, hoping that the Pirates of the Caribbean lightning will strike once more. This time it’s the famous Adventureland riverboat ride, which is free enough of a real narrative that one has to wonder why some five screenwriters (at least) worked on the movie’s script.

Jaume Collet-Serra (The Shallows) directs stars Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt down this particular river, as they battle wild animals and a competing expedition in their search for a tree with miraculous healing powers. The comic chemistry between Johnson and Blunt is key here, especially if they really can mimic Bogie and Hepburn in the similarly plotted The African Queen. If they can sell that, Disney might just have a new water-based franchise to replace their sinking Pirates ship.

The Green Knight

July 30

David Lowery, the singular director behind A Ghost Story and The Old Man & the Gun, helmed a fantasy adaptation of the Arthurian legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. And his take on the material was apparently strong enough to entice A24 to produce it. Not much else is yet known about the film other than its cast, which includes Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander, Ralph Ineson, and Kate Dickie–and that it’s another casualty of COVID, with its 2020 release date being delayed last year. So this is one we’re definitely going to keep an eye on.

The Suicide Squad

August 6

Arguably the most high-profile of the WB films being transitioned to HBO Max, The Suicide Squad is James Gunn’s soft-reboot of the previous one-film franchise. It’s kind of funny WB went in that direction when the first movie generated more than $740 million, but when the reviews and word of mouth were that toxic… well, you get the guy who did Guardians of the Galaxy to fix things.

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Elements from the original movie are still here, most notably Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn and Viola Davis’ Amanda Waller, but the film promises to be weirder, meaner, and also sillier. The first points are proven by its expected R-rating, and the latter is underscored by its giant talking Great White Shark. Okay, we’ll bite.

Deep Water

August 13

Seedy erotic thrillers and neo noirs bathed in shadows and sex are largely considered a thing of the past—specifically 1980s and ‘90s Hollywood cinema. Maybe that’s why Deep Water hooked Adrian Lyne (Fatal Attraction, Indecent Proposal) to direct. The throwback is based on a 1957 novel by the legendary Patricia Highsmith (The Talented Mr. Ripley), and it pits a disenchanted married couple against each other, with the bored pair playing mind games that leave friends and acquaintances dead. That the couple in question is played by Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas, who’ve since become a real life item, will probably get plenty of attention close to release.

Respect

August 13

Respect is the long-awaited biopic of the legendary Aretha Franklin, with the Queen of Soul herself involved in its development for years until her death in August 2018. Authorized biopics always make one wonder how accurate the film will be, but then again, Aretha had nothing to be ashamed of. Hers was a life well-lived, her voice almost beyond human comprehension, and the only thing now is to see whether star Jennifer Hudson (Franklin’s personal choice) and director Liesl Tommy (making her feature debut) can do the Queen justice.

Candyman

August 27

In some ways it’s surprising that it’s taken this long—28 years, notwithstanding a couple of sequels—to seriously revisit the original Candyman. Director Bernard Rose’s original adaptation of the Clive Baker story, “The Forbidden,” is still relevant and effective today. Back then, the film touched on urban legends, poverty, and segregation: themes that are still ripe for exploration through a genre touchstone today.

After her breathtaking feature directorial debut, Little Woods, Nia DaCosta helmed this bloody reboot while working from a screenplay co-written by Jordan Peele (Get Out). That’s a powerful combination, even before news came down DaCosta was helming Captain Marvel 2. And with an actor on-the-cusp of mega-stardom, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, picking up Tony Todd’s gnarly hook, this is one to watch out for.

The Beatles: Get Back

August 27

Peter Jackson seems to enjoy making films about what inspired him in his youth: The Lord of the Rings, King Kong, his grandfather’s World War I service informing They Shall Not Grow Old. So perhaps it was inevitable he’d make a film about the greatest youth icon of his generation, the Beatles. In truth, The Beatles: Get Back is a challenge to a previous documentary named Let It Be, and the general pop culture image it painted.

That 1970 doc by Michael Lindsay-Hogg zeroed in on the band’s final released album, Let It Be (although it was recorded before Abbey Road). Now, using previously unseen footage, Jackson seeks to challenge the narrative that the album was created entirely from a place of animosity among the bandmates, or that the Beatles had long lost their camaraderie by the end of road. Embracing the original title of the album, “Get Back,” Jackson wants to get back to where he thinks the band’s image once belonged.

Death on the Nile

September 17

Murder on the Orient Express (2017) became a surprise hit for director and star Kenneth Branagh. Who knew that audiences would still be interested in an 83-year-old mystery novel about an eccentric Belgian detective with one hell of a mustache? Luckily, Agatha Christie featured Poirot in some 32 other novels, of which Death on the Nile is one of the most famous, so here we are.

Branagh once again directs and stars as Poirot, this time investigating a murder aboard a steamer sailing down Egypt’s famous river. The cast includes Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Letitia Wright, Tom Bateman, Ali Fazal, Annette Bening, Rose Leslie, and Russell Brand. Expect more lavish locales, scandalous revelations, the firing of a pistol or two, and, yes, more shots of that stunning Poirot facial hair.

The Many Saints of Newark

September 24

The idea of a prequel to anything always fills us with trepidation, and re-opening a nearly perfect property like The Sopranos makes the prospect even less appetizing. But Sopranos creator David Chase has apparently wanted to explore the back history of his iconic crime family for some time, and there certainly seems to be a rich tapestry of characters and events that have only been hinted at in the series.

Directed by series veteran Alan Taylor (Thor: The Dark World), The Many Saints of Newark stars Alessandro Nivola as Dickie Moltisanti (Christopher’s father), along with Jon Bernthal, Vera Farmiga, Corey Stoll, Ray Liotta, and others. But the most fascinating casting is that of Michael Gandolfini—James’ son—as the younger version of the character with which his late dad made pop culture history. For that alone, we’ll be there on opening night… even if that just means HBO Max!

Dune

October 1

Could third time be the charm for Frank Herbert’s complex novel of the far future, long acknowledged as one of the greatest—if most difficult to read—milestones in all of science fiction? David Lynch’s 1984 version was, to be charitable, an honorable mess, while the 2000 Sci-Fi Channel miniseries was decent and faithful, but limited in scope. Now director Denis Villeneuve (Blade Runner 2049, Arrival) is pulling out all the stops—even breaking the story into two movies to give the proper space.

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On the surface, the plot is simple: as galactic powers vie for control of the only planet that produces a substance capable of allowing interstellar flight, a young messiah emerges to lead that planet’s people to freedom. But this tale is dense with multiple layers of politics, metaphysics, mysticism, and hard science.

Villeneuve has assembled a jaw-dropping cast, including Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Josh Brolin, Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, Zendaya, Charlotte Rampling, Jason Momoa, and Javier Bardem, and if he pulls this off, just hand him every sci-fi novel ever written. Particularly, if relations between the director and WB remain strained…

Morbius

October 8

Following the monstrous (pun intended) success of Venom, Sony Pictures is making its second attempt to mine Spider-Man’s universe of villains with the dark tale of Dr. Michael Morbius (Jared Leto), whose efforts to cure himself of a fatal blood disease turn him instead into a blood-drinking anti-hero. Morbius has been lurking around the Marvel Comics canon since 1971, often either sparring or teaming with Spidey, and it remains uncertain whether he’s got the cache to carry a movie on his own. In addition, can Leto wash away the bad taste left behind by his tattooed and grilled Joker in Suicide Squad?

Halloween Kills

October 15

2018’s outstanding reboot of the long-running horror franchise—which saw David Gordon Green (Stronger) direct Jamie Lee Curtis in a reprise of her most famous role—was a tremendous hit. So in classic Halloween fashion, two more sequels were put into production (the second, Halloween Ends, will be out in 2022… hopefully).

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Curtis is back as Laurie Strode, along with Judy Greer as her daughter, Andi Matichak as her granddaughter, and Nick Castle sharing Michael Myers duties with James Jude Courtney. Kyle Richards and Charles Cyphers, meanwhile, will reprise their roles as Lindsey Wallace and former sheriff Leigh Brackett from the original 1978 Halloween (Anthony Michael Hall will play the adult version of Tommy Doyle). The plot remains a mystery, but we’re pretty sure it will involve yet another confrontation between Laurie and a rampaging Myers.

The Last Duel

October 15

What was once among the most anticipated films of 2020, The Last Duel is the historical epic prestige project marked by reunions: Ridley Scott returns to his passion for period drama and violence; Matt Damon and Ben Affleck work together for the first time in ages as both actors and writers; and the film also unites each with themes that were just as potent in the medieval world as today: One knight (Damon) in King Charles VI’s court accuses another who’s his best friend (Adam Driver) of raping his wife (Jodie Comer). Oh, and Affleck plays the King of France.

With obviously harrowing—and uncomfortable—themes that resonate today, The Last Duel is based on an actual trial by combat from the 14th century, and is a film Affleck and Damon co-wrote with Nicole Holofcener (Can You Ever Forgive Me?). It’s strong material, and could prove to be one of the year’s most riveting or misjudged films. Until then, it has our full attention.

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

October 22

While the idea of a Hasbro Movie Universe seems to be kind of idling at the moment, corners of that hypothetical cinematic empire remain active. One such brand is G.I. Joe, which will launch its first spin-off in this origin story of one of the team’s most popular characters. Much of his early background remains mysterious, so there’s room to create a fairly original story while incorporating lore and characters already established in the G.I. Joe mythos.

Neither of the previous G.I. Joe features (The Rise of Cobra and Retaliation) have been much good, so we can probably expect the same level of quality from this one. Director Robert Schwentke (the last two Divergent movies) doesn’t inspire much excitement either. On the other hand, Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians) will star in the title role, and having Iko Uwais (The Raid) and Samara Weaving (Ready or Not) on board isn’t too bad either.

Eternals

November 5

Based on a Marvel Comics series by the legendary Jack Kirby, the now long-forthcoming Eternals centers around an ancient race of powerful beings who must protect the Earth against their destructive counterparts (and genetic cousins), the Deviants. Director Chloe Zhao (fresh off the awards season buzzy Nomadland) takes her first swing at epic studio filmmaking, working with a cast that includes Angelina Jolie, Gemma Chan, Kit Harington, Salma Hayek, Richard Madden, Brian Tyree Henry, and more.

Movies

Upcoming Marvel Movies Release Dates: MCU Phase 4 Schedule, Cast, and Story Details

By Mike Cecchini and 1 other

Movies

The Incredible Hulk’s Diminished Legacy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

By Gavin Jasper

In many ways, Eternals represents another huge creative risk for Marvel Studios: It’s a big, cosmic ensemble film introducing an ensemble that the vast majority of the public has never heard of. But then, it’s sort of in the same position as Guardians of the Galaxy from way back in 2014, and we all know what happened there.

Elvis

November 5

Obviously we’ve all seen musical biopics before—too many after Walk Hard broke the formula down—but Elvis promises to be something different. A new passion project from Baz Luhrmann, the filmmaker behind Moulin Rouge!, Romeo + Juliet, and The Great Gatsby, Elvis is expected to be a radically stylized account of Elvis Presley’s rise to all shook up fame. With an impressive cast that includes Tom Hanks as manager “Colonel” Tom Parker and Kelvin Harrison Jr. as B.B. King, and with up-and-comer Austin Butler as the King of Rock and Roll himself, it should be a hell of a show.

King Richard

November 19

Will Smith’s King Richard promises to be a different kind of biographical film coming down the pipe. Rather than being told from the vantage of professional tennis playing stars Venus and Serena Williams, King Richard centers on their father and coach, Richard Williams. It’s an interesting choice to focus on the male father instead of the game-changing Black daughters, but we’ll see if there’s a strong creative reason for the approach soon enough. The film is directed by Reinaldo Marcus Green (Monsters and Men, Joe Bell).

Mission: Impossible 7

November 19

Once upon a time, the appeal of the Mission: Impossible movies was to see different directors offer their own take on Tom Cruise running through death-defying stunts. But then Christopher McQuarrie had to come along and make the best one in franchise history (twice). First there was Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation and then Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Now McQuarrie and company have set up their own separate quartet of films with recurring original characters like new franchise MVP Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) across four films.

Movies

Audio Surfaces of Tom Cruise Raging on the Set of Mission: Impossible 7

By Kirsten Howard

Movies

Mission: Impossible 7 – What’s Next for the Franchise?

By David Crow

Thus enters M:I7, the third McQuarrie joint in the series and first half of a pair of incoming sequels filmed together. The first-half of this two-parter sees the whole crew back together, including Cruise’s Ethan Hunt, Ilsa, Benji (Simon Pegg), Luther (Ving Rhames), and CIA Director Erika Sloane (Angela Bassett). They’re also being joined by Hayley Atwell and Pom Klementieff, but really we’re all just eager to see what kind of insane stunts they can do to top the HALO jump in the last one.

West Side Story

December 10

Steven Spielberg has just two remakes on his directorial resume: Always (1989) and War of the Worlds (2005). While the former is mostly forgotten and the latter was an adaptation of a story that has been filmed many times, his upcoming reimagining of West Side Story will undoubtedly be directly compared to Robert Wise’s iconic 1961 screen version of this classic musical.

A few numbers in previous films aside, Spielberg has never directed a full-blown musical before, let alone one associated with such powerhouse songs and dance numbers. His version, with a script by Tony Kushner, is said to stay closer to the original Broadway show than the 1961 film—but with its themes of love struggling to cross divides created by hate and bigotry, don’t be surprised if it’s just as hard-hitting in 2021. Certainly would’ve devastated last year….

Spider-Man 3

December 17

Sony has finally gotten to a “Spider-Man 3” again in their oft-rebooted franchise crown jewel (technically though this film is still untitled). That proved to be a stumbling block the first time it occurred with Tobey Maguire in the red and blues, but the company seems undaunted since Tom Holland’s third outing is expected to bring Maguire back—him and just about everyone else too.

Movies

Spider-Man 3: Charlie Cox Daredevil Return Would Redeem the Marvel Netflix Universe

By Joseph Baxter

Movies

Spider-Man 3 Adds Benedict Cumberbatch’s Doctor Strange

By Joseph Baxter

With a multiverse plot ripped straight from the arguably best Spidey movie ever, 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse, Holland’s third outing is bringing back Maguire, Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man, Alfred Molina as Doc Ock, Jamie Foxx as Electro (eh), and probably more. It’s a Spidey crossover extravaganza that’s only missing a Spider-Ham. But just you wait…

The Matrix 4

December 22

Rebooting or continuing The Matrix series has always been a tough proposition. While the original Matrix film is one of the landmark achievements in science fiction and early digital effects filmmaking in the 1990s, its sequels were… less celebrated. In fact, directors Lily and Lana Wachowski were publicly wary about the idea of ever going back to the series. And yet, here we are with Lana (alone) helming a project that’s been a longtime priority for Warner Bros.

Movies

The Matrix 4: Laurence Fishburne “Wasn’t Invited” to Reprise Morpheus Role

By John Saavedra

Movies

The Matrix 4 Already Happened: Revisiting The Matrix Online

By John Saavedra

The Matrix 4 also brings back Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Jada Pinkett Smith. This is curious since Reeves and Moss’ characters died at the end of the Matrix trilogy—and also because Laurence Fishburne’s Morpheus did not, yet he wasn’t asked back. We cannot say we’re thrilled about the prospect of more adventures in Zion after the disappointment of the first two sequels, but we’d be lying if we didn’t admit we’re still curious to see the story that brought Lana back to this future.

The French Dispatch

TBA

Wes Anderson has a new film coming out. Better still, it is another live-action film. While Anderson’s use of animation is singular, it’s been seven years since The Grand Budapest Hotel, which we maintain is one of the best movies of the last decade. Anderson is working with Timothée Chalamet and Cristoph Waltz for the first time with this film, as well as several familiar faces including Saoirse Ronan, Willem Dafoe, Tilda Swinton, Léa Seydoux, Adrien Brody, Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and, of course, Bill Murray.

The French Dispatch is set deep in the 20th century during the peak of modern journalism, it brings to life a series of fictional stories in a fictional magazine, published in a fictional French city. We suspect though, if Anderson’s last two live-action movies are any indication, it’ll have more than fiction on its mind–especially since it’s inspired by actual New Yorker stories, and the journalists who wrote them! We missed it in 2020, so here’s hoping it really does go to print in 2021!

Other interesting movies that may come out in 2021 but do not yet have release dates: Next Goal Wins, Don’t Worry Darling, Nightmare Alley, Antlers, Blonde, The Northman, Resident Evil, Red Notice, Those Who Wish Me Dead, Army of the Dead.

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Ch. 2: “The Empress of Mars” Analysis Doctor Who S10.9: Friday, Odin & the Doctor; Missy’s 2 Faces; Etc.

Apologies for getting these 3 chapters for “The Empress of Mars” out after the airing of “The Eaters of Light.” I post first on Archive Of Our Own, which I did before the 10th episode. With photos, it takes more time to post here.

If you missed the 1st chapter, check it out Ch. 1: Fastballs, Mars-Not-Mars, Rassilon References, Etc.

NOTE:

TPEW = “The Pyramid at the End of the World” TRODM = “The Return of Doctor Mysterio” THORS = “The Husbands of River Song” CAL = Charlotte Abigail Lux, the little girl from the Library TOS = The Original Series of Star Trek TNG = Star Trek: The Next Generation

Norse Mythology & Vikings Have a Big Role

Roman and Egyptian mythology aren’t the only mythological references in “The Empress of Mars.” Norse Mythology, for example, has a huge role in the episode, as well as other Viking references.

Egil & Eagle

At NASA, we see a sign “EGIL” in front of the Doctor in the image below, which refers to Egill Skallagrímsson (Anglicized as Egil Skallagrimsson). The Doctor, The Ghost, is associated here with Egil. At first we see the sign without the Doctor.

According to Wikipedia, Egil “was a Viking-Age poet, warrior and farmer. He is also the protagonist of the eponymous Egil's Saga. Egil's Saga historically narrates a period from approximately 850 to 1000 CE and is believed to have been written between 1220 and 1240 CE.”

Egill was born in Iceland, the son of Skalla-Grímr Kveldúlfsson and Bera Yngvarsdóttir, and the grandson of Kveld-Úlfr ("Night Wolf"). His ancestor, Hallbjorn, was Norwegian-Sami.

Here’s another wolf reference, where the Doctor-mirror is the grandson of a metaphorical wolf.

When Grímr arrived in Iceland, he settled at Borg, the place where his father's coffin landed. Grímr was a respected chieftain and mortal enemy of King Harald Fairhair of Norway.

OK, the term “Borg” automatically conjures thoughts of several Star Trek: TNG episodes where alien cyborgs known as the Borg show up to assimilate people, turning them into Borg and absorbing them into the collective. They first show up in the episode “Q Who?” Um… I never thought about this before, but wow, just change Q to Doctor! Captain Picard gets converted to a Borg in “The Best of Both Worlds.” Part 1 was the finale to Season 3, while Part 2 was the premiere of Season 4.

Egill composed his first poem at the age of three years. He exhibited berserk behaviour, and this, together with the description of his large and unattractive head, has led to the theory that he might have suffered from Paget's disease. As professor Byock explains in his Scientific American article, Paget's disease causes a thickening of the bones and may lead eventually to blindness. The poetry of Egill contains clues to Paget's disease, and this is the first application of science, with the exclusion of archaeology, to the Icelandic sagas.

Here’s a reference to blindness.

Egil had a very bloody history. At times, he was marked for death, but his epic poetry, fit for kings, saved him. So words saved him, just like they have saved the Doctor time and time again.

“Egil” is another overloaded word, as its homophone is “eagle.” The Doctor is either a bird, being a proxy of Zeus, or Zeus, himself. Zeus’s Roman equivalent is Jupiter. In Norse mythology, Odin is the chief god. He’s not a one-to-one correspondence, though, to Zeus and Jupiter, like the typical Greek and Roman gods are to each other. Odin, among other things, is also a god of war like Mars. He’s a tyrannical leader who is not concerned with justice, and this sounds like Morbius, who may be the possessed Doctor.

Odin, too, was a shape-shifter and turned himself into an eagle. It’s one of his many disguises.

Valkyrie Has Multiple Meanings

The Martian probe Valkyrie, while probing the Martian ice caps, is named for multiple references.

Operation Valkyrie & “Let’s Kill Hitler”

Operation Valkyrie was a German plan during WWII to assassinate Hitler, take control of German cities, disarm the SS, and arrest the Nazi leadership. Although the participants made lengthy preparations, the plot failed. Of course, this also refers to the 11th Doctor episode “Let’s Kill Hitler,” where River was engineered to kill the Doctor. Of course, that lengthy plot failed, too, at least for the time being.

In “The Lie of the Land,” we saw the Doctor involved in a totalitarian government with the Truth logo, which looked like it could be a type of Nazi logo with an SS (mirrored Ss). Interestingly, Daleks were created as symbols of the Nazis.

Valkyries of Norse Mythology

In Norse mythology, valkyries are female figures who decide the fate of those who die in battle.

According to Wikipedia:

Selecting among half of those who die in battle (the other half go to the goddess Freyja's afterlife field Fólkvangr), the valkyries bring their chosen to the afterlife hall of the slain, Valhalla, ruled over by the god Odin. There, the deceased warriors become einherjar (Old Norse "single (or once) fighters"). When the einherjar are not preparing for the events of Ragnarök, the valkyries bear them mead. Valkyries also appear as lovers of heroes and other mortals, where they are sometimes described as the daughters of royalty, sometimes accompanied by ravens and sometimes connected to swans or horses.

Ravens and horses are certainly significant. In fact, ravens are indirectly referenced at least 4 times in the current story. We’ll examine more about the raven in a few minutes. And we’ll look at them in more depth in regards to Clara and the Doctor in the next chapter.

Valkyries today tend to be romanticized in a way, but in heathen times, they were more sinister and sound like they have a connection to the 12 Monks. According to Norse-Mythology.org:

The meaning of their name, “choosers of the slain,” refers not only to their choosing who gains admittance to Valhalla, but also to their choosing who dies in battle and using malicious magic to ensure that their preferences in this regard are brought to fruition. Examples of valkyries deciding who lives and who dies abound in the Eddas and sagas. The valkyries’ gruesome side is illustrated most vividly in the Darraðarljóð, a poem contained within Njal’s Saga. Here, twelve valkyries are seen prior to the Battle of Clontarf, sitting at a loom and weaving the tragic destiny of the warriors (an activity highly reminiscent of the Norns). They use intestines for their thread, severed heads for weights, and swords and arrows for beaters, all the while chanting their intentions with ominous delight. The Saga of the Volsungs compares beholding a valkyrie to “staring into a flame.”

The Norns sound very similar to the 3 Fates, which we examined in my analysis in TPEW, where I likened the Monks to weaving a tapestry and compared them to the 3 Fates who weave destinies. It seems likely then that the 12 Monks may symbolize the 12 Valkyries, who are weaving the tragic destiny to come.

Valhalla & the Cloister Wraiths

Valhalla is a the hall where the dead are deemed worthy of dwelling with Odin, and it’s located on Asgard, which brings in the references to the Doctor and River picnicking on Asgard. This picnic entry in River’s diary came up in “Silence in the Library,” as well as “The Husbands of River Song.”

Wolves guard Valhalla’s gates, and eagles fly above it.

According to Norse-Mythology.org:

Odin presides over Valhalla, the most prestigious of the dwelling-places of the dead. After every battle, he and his helping-spirits, the valkyries (“choosers of the fallen”), comb the field and take their pick of half of the slain warriors to carry back to Valhalla. (Freya then claims the remaining half.)

According to Norse-Mythology.org:

The dead who reside in Valhalla, the einherjar, live a life that would have been the envy of any Viking warrior. All day long, they fight one another, doing countless valorous deeds along the way. But every evening, all their wounds are healed, and they are restored to full health. They surely work up quite an appetite from all those battles, and their dinners don’t disappoint. Their meat comes from the boar Saehrimnir (Old Norse Sæhrímnir, whose meaning is unknown), who comes back to life every time he is slaughtered and butchered. For their drink they have mead that comes from the udder of the goat Heidrun (Old Norse Heiðrun, whose meaning is unknown). They thereby enjoy an endless supply of their exceptionally fine food and drink. They are waited on by the beautiful Valkyries.

But the einherjar won’t live this charmed life forever. Valhalla’s battle-honed residents are there by the will of Odin, who collects them for the perfectly selfish purpose of having them come to his aid in his fated struggle against the wolf Fenrir during Ragnarök – a battle in which Odin and the einherjar are doomed to die.

From what we’ve seen in “Hell Bent,” the Cloister Wraiths are, at least in one way, like the dead who reside in Valhalla. As the Doctor said, they are the dead manning the battlements. We may be experiencing the unreality of the symbolic Valhalla right now. The relative calm before the Ragnarök storm.

The Ice Queen Mirroring a Valkyrie or Odin

The Ice Queen, Iraxxa, decided who died and who lived, especially when it came to Colonel Godsacre. (God’s acre actually means “a churchyard or a cemetery, especially one adjacent to a church.”) Therefore, Iraxxa is mirroring a Valkyrie or even Odin, given her position of leader of the hive.

Odin, Ravens & the Valkyries

According to Wikipedia,

In Germanic mythology, Odin is a widely revered god. In Norse mythology, from which stems most of the information about the god, Odin is associated with healing, death, royalty, the gallows, knowledge, battle, sorcery, poetry, frenzy, and the runic alphabet, and is the husband of the goddess Frigg. In wider Germanic mythology and paganism, Odin was known in Old English as Wōden, in Old Saxon as Wōdan, and in Old High German as Wuotan or Wōtan, all stemming from the reconstructed Proto-Germanic theonym wōđanaz.

BTW, WOTAN is a reference to a 1st Doctor story called “The War Machines.” According to the TARDIS Wikia, “WOTAN was one of the first artificial intelligences created on Earth by Professor Brett. Its name stood for Will Operating Thought ANalogue.” It goes on to say, “Deciding to conquer the world, WOTAN ordered the construction of mobile, armed computers which were designated War Machines. These were constructed in locations across London.”

Anyway, according to WizardRealm.com:

Odin (or, depending upon the dialect Woden or Wotan) was the Father of all the Gods and men. Odhinn is pictured either wearing a winged helm or a floppy hat, and a blue-grey cloak. He can travel to any realm within the 9 Nordic worlds. His two ravens, Huginn and Munin (Thought and Memory) fly over the world daily and return to tell him everything that has happened in Midgard. He is a God of magick, wisdom, wit, and learning. He too is a psychopomp; a chooser of those slain in battle. In later times, he was associated with war and bloodshed from the Viking perspective, although in earlier times, no such association was present.

Interestingly, Odin has ravens. And this is another example of how “The Empress of Mars” has quite a few indirect references to ravens. Because Clara is associated with a raven, it brings up a reference to her, too. However, there are very pointed Clara references, which we’ll examine in the next chapter.

Being the god of magic, wisdom, wit, and learning, Odin has a lot in common with Merlin. Odin actually disguises himself as an old man and travels Midgard (Earth) looking for heroes for the coming of Ragnarök.

According to WizardRealm.com:

If anything, the wars fought by Odhinn exist strictly upon the Mental plane of awareness; appropriate for that of such a mentally polarized God. He is both the shaper of Wyrd and the bender of Orlog; again, a task only possible through the power of Mental thought and impress. It is he who sacrifices an eye at the well of Mimir to gain inner wisdom, and later hangs himself upon the World Tree Yggdrasil to gain the knowledge and power of the Runes. All of his actions are related to knowledge, wisdom, and the dissemination of ideas and concepts to help Mankind. Because there is duality in all logic and wisdom, he is seen as being duplicitous; this is illusory and it is through his actions that the best outcomes are conceived and derived. Just as a point of curiosity: in no other pantheon is the head Deity also the God of Thought and Logic. It's interesting to note that the Norse/Teutonic peoples also set such a great importance upon brainwork and logic. The day Wednesday (Wodensdaeg) is named for him.

It’s really interesting that Odin’s wars are fought on the “Mental plane of awareness.” This corresponds to the Doctor being a creature of pure thought through the Great Work. This also corresponds to him being a mirror of CAL, who is also a being of pure thought in a mental plane of awareness.

Odin & the Doctor

In “The Girl Who Died,” the Doctor pretended to be Odin when the Vikings took him and Clara captive. We then saw another extraterrestrial claiming to be Odin, shown below. His helmet is obviously symbolic in some ways of a bird. Are the wings those of an eagle or a raven? There are symbolic feathers on the top of the helmet, too, but that’s where the similarities to a bird end.

The crest looks more like something a Roman soldier would wear on his helmet. And then there’s the weird part covering his forehead that looks like 2 eyes and a nose. Is the representation supposed to be 2 faces in One? The symbolic eyes are empty, perhaps, representing The Ghost. Odin is a dark mirror of the Doctor, and it seems to me from the symbolism that Odin represents the possessed Doctor, who has an augmented eye. That could be a reference to the Eye of Harmony.

The Doctor actually does more than just pretend to be Odin in this episode. Like Odin in mythology, the Doctor decides life and death here. He assumes Odin’s role. Ashildr dies, and the Doctor literally brings her back to life, another signal of the coming of Ragnarök. Clara represents a valkyrie, the Doctor’s helping spirit.

But this isn’t all. Extraterrestrial (ET) Odin in “The Girl Who Died” has a connection to the “Robot of Sherwood.” The sheriff’s boar emblem looks very much like ET Odin’s helmet when placed behind someone’s head. Check out this image below of the arrow bearer in this perfectly centered camera shot where the emblem of the boar’s ears (yellow arrow) now looks like the wings on Odin’s helmet.

In fact, the sheriff looks a lot like Odin without the helmet.

Interestingly, we have seen a character in TRODM, Lucy Fletcher, whose name means arrow maker or to furnish (an arrow) with a feather. Through all the mirrors we’ve examined, she connects to Amy, who connects to River. Susan connects to River, too. And River may connect to Missy. We know Missy has been controlling the Doctor through Clara, and she’s running a con game now.

Who’s Behind Controlling the TARDIS?

Check out the image below in the darkened TARDIS when Nardole goes to get some gear to help Bill after she falls into the pit. The bookcase is lit, which is very abnormal. And it’s only one bookcase in particular. This indicates it’s River.

In fact, interestingly, Missy has 2 faces when we first see her at the end of “The Empress of Mars.” The blue arrow points to her face that looks like it’s inside the TARDIS, while the yellow arrow points to her other face. The TARDIS symbolizes the Doctor’s wife and the Doctor’s mind.

The Doctor is being controlled by his wife is what part of the subtext is pointing to. We saw in “The Lie of the Land” analysis that with the 2nd Doctor story “The Mind Robber,” where the Master was the author who controlled things in the same way River controlled things in “The Angels Take Manhattan” with her novel. We know River is one of the architects of the rescue plan.

Friday Has a Norse Connection

Of course, the name Friday comes from Robinson Crusoe. However, given the plot along with Friday’s name, appearance, and references, there are other allusions intended, too, making Friday a brilliant name with overloaded meanings.

Friday & Odin

“Friday,” as the actual day of the week, is named after Odin’s wife. In Old English, her name is Frīge, so it’s "Frīge's day." Other spellings, according to Wikipedia, are Frigg (Old Norse), Frija (Old High German), and Frea (Langobardic).

So the character Friday automatically has a connection to Odin and can represent Odin’s wife. However, there’s more.

Like Friday, Odin has one eye.

In fact, according to Norse-Mythology.org:

Odin’s quest for wisdom is never-ending, and he is willing to pay any price, it seems, for the understanding of life’s mysteries that he craves more than anything else. On one occasion, he hanged himself, wounded himself with his spear, and fasted from food and drink for nine days and nights in order to discover the runes.

On another occasion, he ventured to Mimir’s Well – which is surely none other than the Well of Urd – amongst the roots of the world-tree Yggdrasil. There dwelt Mimir, a shadowy being whose knowledge of all things was practically unparalleled among the inhabitants of the cosmos. He achieved this status largely by taking his water from the well, whose waters impart this cosmic knowledge.

When Odin arrived, he asked Mimir for a drink from the water. The well’s guardian, knowing the value of such a draught, refused unless the seeker offered an eye in return. Odin – whether straightaway or after anguished deliberation, we can only wonder – gouged out one of his eyes and dropped it into the well. Having made the necessary sacrifice, Mimir dipped his horn into the well and offered the now-one-eyed god a drink.

Odin’s story of trading an eye for a different type of perception and knowledge meshes with the concepts of the Eye of Harmony and the Matrix. We’ve examined how the Matrix gives the gift of prophecy.

ENGIN: Yes. Trillions of electrochemical cells in a continuous matrix. The cells are the repository of departed Time Lords. At the moment of death, an electrical scan is made of the brain pattern and these millions of impulses are immediately transferred to the DOCTOR: Shush. I understand the theory. What's the function?

ENGIN: Well, to monitor life in the Capitol. We use all this combined knowledge and experience to predict future developments.

And the Eye of Harmony from TRODM clearly has to do with the Matrix. The Eye, as the 8th Doctor said in the movie, is his.

DOCTOR: Lee, this is my Tardis. This is my Eye and I'm in my own body. The Master has run out of all his lives. Now he plans to steal mine. That's the truth!

Anyway, in Friday’s case, because he defers to Iraxxa, he symbolically could represent Odin in disguise as an old man. After all, he did tell the Doctor:

DOCTOR: Why have you really come back? FRIDAY: (sigh) I am old and tired and spent.

The reversed roles of the queen and Friday could also possibly be explained through the gender change.

Friday & The Vikings

After the Doctor and Bill discuss the Ice Warrior, Bill mentions a movie and an eye gouging when Friday is present, tying the movie to Friday.

DOCTOR: Yes. The indigenous species. An ancient reptilian race. They built themselves a sort of bio-mechanical armour for protection. The creature within is at one with its carapace. The Ice Warriors. They could build a city under the sand, yet drench the snows of Mars with innocent blood. They could slaughter whole civilisations, yet weep at the crushing of a flower. BILL: Like The Vikings. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, very much. BILL: Yeah, Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis. Oh, the theme tune is amazing! There's this brilliant bit where his eye gets gouged out (Friday stops and Bill notices the missing eye.)

Friday’s missing eye resembles that of Kirk Douglas’ character in the 1958 movie The Vikings.

Wikipedia says

The King of Northumbria is killed during a Viking raid led by the fearsome Ragnar (Ernest Borgnine). Because the king had died childless, his cousin Aella (Frank Thring) takes the throne. The king's widow, however, is pregnant with what she knows is Ragnar's child because he had raped her during that fateful raid, and to protect the infant from her cousin-in-law's ambitions, she sends him off to Italy. By a twist of fate, the ship is intercepted by the Vikings, who are unaware of the child's kinship, and enslave him.

BTW, the queen sends the child with the monks.

Many years later, we see that the boy has grown into a young man named Erik (Tony Curtis), who is still a slave. After some events take place, Erik in retaliation orders his falcon to attack Einar (Kirk Douglas), Ragnar's legitimate son and heir. The falcon gouges out Einar’s left eye.

The enmity between the half brothers is exacerbated when they both fall in love with the same woman, Princess Morgana, who is to marry King Aella but gets captured in a raid. In a way, this is like the 11th and 12th Doctors with River. BTW, I forgot to mention this, but the Doctor in Missy’s execution scene in “Extremis” and in the scenes in “The Lie of the Land” wears an old raggedy coat, which would represent the 11th Doctor. In fact, the 11th Doctor’s theme music does play in the latter episode.

Anyway, at one point Aella captures Ragnar and, according to Wikipedia, “orders the Viking leader bound and thrown into a pit filled with starved wolves. To give Ragnar a Viking's death (so that he can enter Valhalla), Erik, who is granted the honour of forcing him into the pit, cuts the prisoner's bonds and gives him his sword. Laughing, Ragnar jumps to his death. In response to Erik's "treason", Aella cuts off his left hand, puts him back on his ship and casts him adrift.”

(Amy cuts off Rorybot’s hands in “The Girl Who Waited.” Rorybot is sentient. So is this movie scene significant to the story?)

In the end, Erik and Einar fight for Morgana, and Erik mortally wounds Einar. Wikipedia says, “Echoing the scene with Ragnar, Erik gives Einar a sword, so that he too can enter Valhalla. In the final scene, Einar is given a Viking funeral: his body is placed on a longship, which is set on fire by flaming arrows.”

Friday not only represents Einar with his eye gouged out, but also Erik, as a servant.

Erik is a hybrid, half-Northumbrian and half-Viking, mirroring the hybrid nature of the Doctor.

Also, it’s interesting that Erik and Einar are half brothers because I’ve wondered for quite some time if the Master and Doctor were brothers (as was originally planned in Classic Who) or half brothers. The idea that the Doctor has a half brother has come up in the subtext before. In fact, it most likely relates to Castor and Pollux, which we’ll look at below.

The idea of Valhalla and a Viking funeral for the Doctor is important for several reasons. The first is that Rory gave the Doctor a Viking funeral in “The Impossible Astronaut” after River killed him. (Interestingly, though, there is a hidden face of the Doctor’s in the reflection in River’s helmet. Things didn’t quite happen the way they appeared.)

The ideas of Valhalla and a Viking funeral lead to redemption for the Doctor and his fate. We’ll look at this more in the next chapter when we examine the Victorians.

The First Time We See Friday

The first time we see Friday, something curious takes place. The Ice Warrior comes toward the Doctor in a threatening manner. However, the Doctor diffuses the situation with an Ice Warrior greeting.

DOCTOR: I know your people of old. I was once an Honorary Guardian of the Tythonian Hive.

(A rifle bolt is moved.)

However, we then hear Godsacre’s voice, and he says and does something curious.

GODSACRE: Don't move. I'll sort this beggar out.

(A red-coat with white pith helmet is pointing what ought to be a Martini-Henry breech loading rifle at them.)

DOCTOR: No, no, no, no! You don't understand. This creature is no threat. He may look like a monster to you

(A rifle shot at the Doctor's feet makes him jump back.)

GODSACRE: I wasn't talking to you. Are you all right, Friday?

The Doctor is portrayed as the monster here, not Friday. To make that clear, the Doctor even says, “He may look like a monster to you…”

This really is interesting behavior, especially since the Doctor looks human here in this altered reality. What does he really look like?

Friday, the Doctor & Shakespeare’s Henry V

Since the Doctor is metaphorically Shakespeare, it seems as though there may be another connection with both the Doctor, Friday, and Henry V. Since they can be a symbol of Odin, walking through Midgard in disguise, they could also symbolically be King Henry V, who disguises himself as a commoner and walks around camp, where nobody recognizes him as the king.

Actually, we already saw this type of thing with Queen Liz 10 in “The Beast Below,” where she walked around with her mask on, not wanting to be recognized. Therefore, we should expect that something like this is happening now.

If the Doctor has been possessed, mind controlled, or some other type of usurpation, then there is a disguise of sorts going on.

Castor & Pollux: The Master/Missy & the Doctor?

Are the Master/Missy and the Doctor mirrors of Castor and Pollux from Greek and Roman mythology? The references have come up in the subtext before, and it seems appropriate to consider this since the plan in Classic Who was to have the Master and the Doctor be brothers. However, once Roger Delgado, the 1st Master, died in a car crash, the plans never came to fruition. In fact, the 3rd Doctor, Jon Pertwee, who was good friends with Delgado, left DW because of Delgado’s death.

Anyway, there are multiple versions of the Castor and Pollux myth, where they could be brothers or half brothers, depending on the version. Since The Vikings refers to half brothers, I’ll concentrate on that version.

Castor and Pollux were twin brothers, together known as the Dioscuri or Dioskouroi. According to Wikipedia:

Their mother was Leda, but they had different fathers; Castor was the mortal son of Tyndareus, the king of Sparta, while Pollux was the divine son of Zeus, who seduced Leda in the guise of a swan. Though accounts of their birth are varied, they are sometimes said to have been born from an egg, along with their twin sisters or half-sisters Helen of Troy and Clytemnestra.

In Latin the twins are also known as the Gemini or Castores. When Castor was killed, Pollux asked Zeus to let him share his own immortality with his twin to keep them together, and they were transformed into the constellation Gemini. The pair were regarded as the patrons of sailors, to whom they appeared as St. Elmo's fire, and were also associated with horsemanship.

There was a common belief that one child would live among the gods, while the other was among the dead. That’s interesting since the Doctor is associated in multiple ways with ghosts.

Anyway, here’s yet another reference to Zeus. We know the Doctor has been cast as either a proxy to Zeus or Zeus, himself. However, there are multiple versions of the Doctor. Is one the father and one the son while a third is a ghost? Like in the Trinity?

We also see other important references. We know horses are important. Sailors could also possibly refer to space and time travelers. And the topic of eggs comes up a lot. For example, we saw the moon as an egg in “Kill the Moon.” Missy, too, mentioned that Nardole looks like and egg in “The Lie of the Land”:

MISSY: You haven't been to see me in six months. No-one has! Not even that bald bloke who looks like an egg.

However, eggs also come up in other episodes, like the 9th Doctor episode, “The End of the World,” which we looked at in the analysis of “The Lie of the Land.” And there’s an indirect reference to eggs in “The Empress of Mars” where the Doctor mentions “Tythonian Hive” when he meets Friday.

DOCTOR: By the moons, I honour thee. I'm the Doctor. What is your name? (The Ice Warrior growls. He has one eye missing and a scrape across the helmet nose guard.) DOCTOR: I know your people of old. I was once an Honorary Guardian of the Tythonian Hive. (A rifle bolt is moved.)

The Tythonian Hive reference, BTW, makes no sense when relating it to Ice Warriors. The term refers to the 4th Doctor episode “The Creature from the Pit.” However, there are other important pieces of information in that episode. For example, it also refers to a pit, which Bill happens to fall into in “The Empress of Mars.”

“The Creature from the Pit,” the Egg & the Y symbol

I had never seen “The Creature from the Pit” before, so I was surprised when I watched it that there were no hives or references to Ice Warriors. I haven’t seen this happen before with a reference that didn’t make sense, but obviously, we are supposed to get other things out of that reference.

When it comes to this episode, many things don’t make sense. There is a giant structure that looks like a flat wall, but the Doctor calls it an egg and eggshell and says it’s alive:

ADRASTA: Yes. My huntsman heard you say that the shell was alive. DOCTOR: Alive and screaming in pain. ADRASTA: The shell? Then why can no one hear it? DOCTOR: Because it can only be detected on very low frequency wavelengths. ADRASTA: What's the shell screaming about? DOCTOR: Ah. More to the point, for whom is it screaming? Its mummy? By the pyramids, imagine the size of its mummy.

Not only is it an egg, but here’s something once again that is looking possibly for it’s mummy, like “The Empty Child.” Also, it’s screaming but can’t be heard like the Star Whale in “The Beast Below.” Both the Empty Child and the Star Whale are metaphors for the Doctor.

Nardole is associated with an egg, just like the Doctor is with the moon as an egg concept. And Nardole is an unactualized mirror for the Doctor. The egg also symbolizes going back to the beginning. This meshes with other things we’ve examined like how the universe was only 23 million years old in “The Pilot.” Also, the Doctor’s timeline is going backwards, and we see that in the opening credits.

In “The Creature from the Pit,” there’s also a pit, of course, with a creature in it. The Doctor actually jumps into the pit, like the 10th Doctor jumped into the pit in “The Satan Pit.” Both find gigantic creatures. Bill falls into the pit in “The Empress of Mars” and finds a gigantic hive and the sinister Captain Catchlove.

However, the 4th Doctor calls the creature a giant brain. Um… this doesn’t make sense, either.

Here’s what the TARDIS Wikia says

The Tythonians were massive, blob-like organisms, sometimes hundreds of feet long. They were glowing green and had an outer membrane that was deeply creased. They had no true limbs, but had two large pseudopods. One pseudopod was shaped like the letter Y, while the other was simply a large tube. They had no vocal cords and communicated with the aid of Tythonian communicators. Tythonians could live for forty thousand years.

The Y shape refers to a plague of deaths. The humanoids throw people down into the pit for the creature to eat.

While this all is important, I also see the whole pit and creature reference important, which refer back to “The Satan Pit” and the war for freedom from slavery. The 4th Doctor does help free the creature in the pit, who actually doesn’t eat people.

Therefore, this episode is hugely symbolic of what is happening in Season 10; however, not by the Tythonian Hive reference.

Living Underground As a Theme

Not only do the Ice Warriors live underground, but the Silurians do too, as we saw in the 11th Doctor episodes “The Hungry Earth” and “Cold Blood.” In the 1st Dalek story, “The Daleks,” the Daleks also live underground. The creature in “The Creature from the Pit” and the Beast in “The Satan Pit” also live underground.

In all these cases, it’s not really by choice. They are forced to live underground because conditions on the surface are problematic, or the creatures are imprisoned underground.

It’s interesting that on Gallifrey everything looks dead, as far as the landscape is concerned. The Doctor and Master talked about how it used to be beautiful with grass, trees, etc. While people live in the doomed city, where do they get their food from? Of course, we are only seeing a small portion of the planet, but it still makes me wonder.

Skaro looks much the same.

Tunnels & The Thing

Interestingly, Bill mentions the movie The Thing, tunnels, and how the Doctor would like the movie because everyone dies. The latter seems really odd for the Doctor we know, unless we consider the Doctor as the mirror to alternate-Donna in “Turn Left.” Both have to die, along with the parallel world. The Master, Morbius, the Valeyard, and some others would also like to see everyone die.

BILL: (walking away) Oh, it's like the underground tunnels in The Thing. DOCTOR: The what? BILL: It's a movie. You'd like that one too. Everybody dies.

There are several movie versions of The Thing. In the 1982 version, the setting is in Antarctica, which fits the Ice Warriors. Where is the ice for the Ice Warriors anyway? The setting is reminiscent of “The Planet of the Ood” and the large brain found on the ice. Also, it also is the setting of “The Seeds of Doom,” another 4th Doctor usurpation story that we looked at.

The creature from a crashed spaceship can perfectly duplicate other beings, like “The Zygon Invasion” and “The Zygon Inversion.” This creates a very similar situation that we saw in “Midnight,” where at first Skye got possessed and people freaked out. The being then possessed the Doctor, and they freaked out even more. It was mob mentality and a witchhunt, just like the movie. And they turned on each other.

This also brings in the idea of “Love & Monsters,” the 10th Doctor episode where Victor Kennedy/The Abzorbaloff, absorbs people into his body.

Here are more themes that are being repeated.

The Next Chapter

In the next chapter, we’ll examine the Victorians and how Clara fits in in multiple ways, along with the ravens. I’ll show you what I call collective symbolism vs. individual symbolism.

Go to next chapter => Ch. 3: Clara, Ravens, Victoria(ns), Oh My!

#doctor who #twelfth doctor #bill potts #nardole #clara oswald #river song #eleventh doctor #amy pond #rory williams #tenth doctor #meta #analysis #the empress of mars

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 24th February 2019

Top 10

After one week off the top, Ariana Grande’s “7 rings” replaces her own song as done to “7 rings” the week before, for its fourth week at #1, and Ariana’s fifth consecutive week at the top.

This means “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” by Ariana Grande is down a spot to number-two.

“Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi hasn’t moved at number-three.

“Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man is up two spaces to number-four.

Mabel’s “Don’t Call Me Up” hasn’t moved at number-five – you know, it was a good idea to make one of the least busy weeks on the chart the week in which the BBC completely messes up the structure of their Top 40 online presentation, by making the single art so large for no reason, and making you not able to specify and filter by climbers, fallers and new entries, which I feel is somehow to make me do more work for these episodes. I’ve been slacking, I guess, and the BBC wants me to write notes.

“Dancing with a Stranger” by Sam Smith and Normani is down two spots to number-six.

Post Malone’s “Wow.” hasn’t moved at number-seven.

Up two spaces this week to number-eight is Billie Eilish with “bury a friend”.

Oh, and we have a new top 10 entry, not a new arrival, but the first ever top 10 entry for NSG and Tion Wayne, as their song “Options” is up three spaces to number-nine. Congratulations, the song’s actually pretty decent.

Oh, and “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max is up a spot to #10.

Climbers

There weren’t many climbers this week, but the ones we do have are pretty massive, with “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz continuing up 22 spaces to #14 off Cadet’s tragic passing in a car accident, “Just You and I” by Tom Walker bouncing up 11 spaces to #19 thanks to Walker’s album release, “i’m so tired...” by LAUV and Troye Sivan also up 11 spots to #22, and finally, the continued rise for “Thotiana” by Blueface, up 17 positions to #23 thanks to a remix featuring Cardi B, and more buzz surrounding Blueface’s name recently. Do you think any of his other songs will cross over? I doubt it.

Fallers

Now this is a different story. “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart” by Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus is down eight spaces to #17, “Hello My Love” by Westlife is down five positions to #24 (I’m just surprised it’s lasted this long anyway), “MIDDLE CHILD” by J. Cole is down 11 spots to #28 (It’ll rebound next week due to the video), “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is down six to #29 (Likely at the end of its run), “Swan Song” by Dua Lipa is down eight to #32 (And is somehow still having more longevity in its success than the film it was made to promote), “Gun Lean” by Russ (splash) is down 13 to #33 (Let’s hope this goes away as quick as possible), “Psych Out!” by AJ Tracey is down 16 to #34 (Album hype wearing off), “Undecided” by Chris Brown is down 10 to #35, “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is down five to #36, “Without Me” by Halsey is down 11 to #39, and, sadly, “a lot” by 21 Savage featuring uncredited guest vocals from J. Cole is down 11 to #40.

Dropouts

“Who Do You Love?” by the Chainsmokers and 5 Seconds of Summer is out from #34 (Let’s hope this goes away forever, it’s pretty worthless), “Lost in the Fire” by Gesaffelstein and the Weeknd is out from #35 (Once again, this song is pretty trashy, let’s keep it out for as long as possible), “Nights Like This” by Kehlani and Ty Dolla $ign (Currently serving 15 years in prison for cocaine possession) is out from #38, and, finally, “Thursday” by Jess Glynne is out from #39.

Returning Entries

Now, we only have one returning entry, which is “Think About Us” by Little Mix, with a remix featuring Ty Dolla $ign, which returns to #26 thanks to a video, which I haven’t seen, but do you think Ty Dolla $ign is in it? I’m not sure if they would have pre-recorded it when Ty Dolla $ign wasn’t serving 15 years in prison for cocaine possession, or rushed it because they realised that the one hit from this album, “Woman Like Me”, isn’t coming back now and they have to quickly see if they can grab another hit off of this cycle. Anyways, for the first time in what feels like ages, we have a quick and easy new arrivals section, as there’s only three, so let’s get this done.

NEW ARRIVALS

#37 – “365” – Zedd and Katy Perry

The big comeback single for Katy Perry, with production from Zedd, is called “365”. No wonder this isn’t doing well in America, naming your song after random numbers is barely ever a good idea, even if it has thematic relation to the song’s lyrics. This is Katy Perry’s 26th UK Top 40 single (Which is really impressive) and Zedd’s tenth. Now, I’ve liked Zedd for a while, ever since that song “Stay the Night” with Hayley Williams – I still stand by how his first two albums are pretty great for their genre and that it’s some of the best electro- and dance-pop to come out of the 2010s – but ever since he got a resurgence in America with “Stay”, he’s really been sticking to that formula and it’s getting really tiring to keep up with him. I hated “Starving” and have thought everything he’s released since is pretty in “The Middle” but hopefully this collaboration with Katy Perry can be diff—nope.

It starts with a pretty ugly synth sound that acts as a pitched-up bass with some pathetic percussion building up Katy Perry’s breathy voice until we get to the drop, which is nonexistent. When we get to the second verse, it’s the same with some added tweaks that I actually kind of like, such as the multi-tracked vocal harmonies, but it quickly transitions into that painfully un-catchy chorus, and a post-chorus using “Hey!” backing group vocals because why not? Then that bloody clock ticking sound appears that’s been so typical of Zedd this past year or two under some autotuned Katy Perry vocal samples twisted to make some remnant of a melody, because Zedd really likes clocks. Even stuff like “The Middle” was articulated and had layers, while this just feels like a lazy attempt to get Katy Perry in the spotlight again, and so far, I’m not entirely sure if that’s worked.

#16 – “Kitchen Kings” – D-Block Europe

D-Block Europe is a British and European hip-hop collective hailing from South London and lead by Young Adz and Dirtbike LB (Some of the worst names in rap? More likely than you think!). They had a hit once before with “nASSty” a few months ago and that was awful, so I’m not exactly excited to see them back, although again, it’s a collective, it might be an entirely different set of artists for their recent song about “Kitchen Kings”, which I’ll admit is a somewhat clever and catchy way of saying you cook and sell drugs, but we shouldn’t care because we immediately recognise the nasal, childlike voice of who I believe is Young Adz and realise that even if they are selling drugs, they can’t convince us that they are because they’re not intimidating or at least make any attempt at sounding hard like Dave or Fredo. There are couple pretty synths covering Adz in the intro, specifically his hilariously awful “Skrrt” ad-libs that he just keeps on doing and elongating until the chorus, which has some pretty bad bass mixing and emotionless repetition of “Mm-hmm” to replace any attempt at wordplay. Adz’s verse is actually pretty funny, not on purpose mind you, due to once again the pitched-up ad-libs, including those skrrt-skrrts and a voice crack in his falsetto “Kitchen, girl” backing vocal. Oh, and the last line about how losing money that he would usually be covered by his drug-selling is “Flipping hell”, or something of that sort, is delivered awfully. The second guy’s verse is painful, and evidently he was so offbeat that they had to completely get rid of the beat for his verse, getting rid of the percussion and bass, or at least all of its punch, by filtering it and causing those empty pauses in his verses which are just autotuned vocal riffs feel so much more pointless. This is amateur, so I can’t exactly be that hard on it, but it still shouldn’t be charting in the top 20.

#12 – “Please Me” – Cardi B and Bruno Mars

And now we have the highest-charting new arrival here, which is already a top five hit in the US, by some of the biggest names in popular music, both of which were behind one of my favourite hits of the year, “Finesse” (The remix, of course). This is Bruno’s 18th top 40 hit in the UK and Cardi’s tenth to reach this height. Does this have nearly as much fun, bombast and charisma as their last hit together? Yes, in the vocal track, at least. Bruno Mars’ performance here is amazing, albeit mixed oddly with a bit too much reverb while we have these pretty 90s synths oddly being put against dated trap synths that sound straight out of a Tay Keith sample pack, as well as a stunted trap skitter that puts a halt to all of the fun that we could be having with the intricate synth work, Bruno Mars’ great multi-tracked vocals and Cardi B’s groovy verses with enough interesting lines and even ad-libs, but the pre-chorus is janky and Cardi isn’t exactly a great singer (Although she doesn’t sound awful here and I do like her hyping up of Bruno in the chorus). It takes a darker turn in the bridge which is a bit abrupt and unnecessary, and Bruno crooning “Twerk it on me slowly” isn’t exactly something I wanted to hear, so it’s safe to say this is disappointing right now, but it could grow on me. What’s sad is that this relatively mediocre R&B track is by far the best pick here.

Conclusion

Yeah, that means Cardi B and Bruno Mars get Best of the Week for “Please Me”, but I’m not sure how much that’s actually deserved yet. Worst of the Week goes to D-Block Europe for “Kitchen Kings” because, well, just listen to it. See you next week.

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