#he doesn't really feel like that as Much when he's eating Louis but sometimes the feelings get mixed around | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

1d1195 · 11 months

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Traditional X

You can read the rest of Traditional here.

We are getting to the end of what I believe is the main storyline here. Maybe one or two more parts but I already have at least three little extras lined up in my head too.

Additionally, I added in the days because it was kind of getting all over the place and I wanted to make sure the timeline wasn't too confusing--especially since we're winding down on days until the internship is over. I hope it doesn't detract from the story. Also, another reminder I don't know anything about running a business.

This part has some minor character death/trauma mentioned, sensitive topics, grief, angst, and I may or may not have cried a bit while writing, so that should put it in perspective I think. Try not to hate me at the end I don't think you're going to like it. Thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing to read.

Just wanted to hear your voice, kitten. Didn’t get to see you much today other than tea. Get some sleep, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, love.

So now she texted him: I’m awake now if you want to hear my voice.

The phone rang almost instantly. “Hi,” she whispered.

“S’like music,” he said sleepily. She giggled. “That’s a symphony,” he murmured.

Friday

Louis and Eleanor were lying on her couch (and one another) while she lay on the rug in front of the coffee table, facing the TV. Her phone vibrated with a message from Harry.

Can we chat sometime today?

That sounds like a terrible way to break up with me. Don’t tell your other girls that.

Don’t be ridiculous, kitten. All of it.

I’ll call you when Louis and El leave.

I’ll be waiting impatiently.

“Must be Harry. She definitely doesn’t smile at Niall’s messages like that,” Louis chuckled.

She rolled her eyes and tilted her head back to her friends. They were watching a movie trying to decide where to eat or if they should order in. It was a regular, run of the mill day. They worked their Friday shifts and now they were lying about her pretty apartment that she hardly felt she’d been spending any time in. Mondays of course were still dinner out with Harry, Thursdays were movie nights at his place (and with any luck something a bit cheekier, now), and she spent many Saturday nights at his place sleeping beside him until one in the morning where they spoke quietly, candidly about anything. In the morning, she woke up to a rotation of pancakes, waffles, or French toast.

And kisses.

She woke up to a ton of kisses.

So, this Friday evening, she spent with Louis and Eleanor watching a movie that was so trashy it was wonderful. “How’s the job search?” Louis asked.

She frowned. The one sore spot that seemed to get sorer each passing day. “I really thought interning at Styles Incorporated was going to give me a leg up,” she sighed. “I don’t know... I’ve applied to some top places and they’ve either passed or ghosted me. Maybe I need to lower my standards.”

“Absolutely not,” Eleanor said immediately. “You deserve the top. You deserve it all,” she said.

Smiling, she looked at Eleanor, snuggled under Louis who was draped across her lap, and he winked at her. “You deserve the very best, babe,” he told her.

She shrugged and let out a sad sigh. “I don’t think these places think I do though,” she mumbled. “But it’s fine...I... I don’t know... I’ll figure it out. I’m not going to let it stop me now. Another month and I’ll be done.”

There was a pause. “Speaking of,” Louis began. “I’m told your program does in fact, have a graduation ceremony.”

She blinked surprised by the idea as if she didn’t already know. “What?”

“Harry told me that of course your college has one and you—”

She only vaguely heard the end of Louis’ sentence. She was feeling...anger? Anger at Harry? It didn’t seem like that was a reasonable conclusion. She had never been mad at him in the eight months she had known him. But her chest started to ache, and her blood felt hot, and she didn’t want to be mad at Harry, but she was sad he betrayed her trust in what she told him at one in the morning. Even if it was a silly little thing like making sure she had people at her graduation ceremony. She shook her head. “I’m not walking,” she interrupted. “I don’t want to.”

“Love, you worked so hard!” Eleanor gasped. “Please! It would mean so much to us to see you do it. We want you to have that.”

While the kindness and the meaningfulness of their words was not lost on her, she was serious in what she told Harry. But maybe she left out the part that she didn’t want to walk across the stage because it would remind her of the last graduation ceremony she attended. The last time she remembered a big happy family memory. “When did Harry tell you?” She asked quietly.

“He didn’t know for sure when it was...He was probing around, I think, because he might be trying to get you something,” Eleanor said so excitedly she was practically clapping. “Oh, I bet it’s going to be amazing whatever he gets you.”

“We weren’t that surprised, but we told him that you weren’t walking because there wasn’t a ceremony...and he told us there most assuredly was—which did surprise us. Most interns went in the past, so what’s the scoop on that, love?” Louis smirked, throwing a piece of popcorn at her. It caught in her hair. “Lying to your best friends?”

She didn’t feel like rehashing all the sad details and explaining why she didn’t want to go. “I just didn’t want it to be a big deal,” she shrugged as casually as she possibly could. She should have just told them, but she didn’t want it to be a thing.

However, Louis sensed there was more to her hiding it, immediately. It was why he was her best friend. But he didn’t press. Maybe he would later when he could get her alone. Every once in a while, he managed to pick up on something in her voice that said something of her past was coming through. “Hmm,” he hummed. “Well, that’s fine. We’d still like to go. A couple pictures and that’s it. Then dinner. Nothing else. I won’t even get you a card to commemorate the day.”

“Oh, I’m getting you a card,” Eleanor nodded fiercely. “Gonna write you the mushiest proud letter there is to write,” she smiled wrinkling her nose at her.

So, how could she say no to them? They loved her so wholly it really was unfair to exclude them after their endless support. Sighing, she shook her head. “It’s Saturday, the 14th,” she rolled her eyes. Both pulled out their phones and tapped rapidly putting it in their calendars.

“Good,” Louis smiled. “Now let’s go get dinner,” he said kissing Eleanor on his way off her lap and helping her up as he nearly ran for the door all in one movement. Eleanor rolled his eyes.

“You picked him,” she reminded El. “In high school too,” she shook her head and wrinkled her nose in distaste.

“I know, aren’t I lucky?” El said with a mocking dreamy tone in her voice but she meant it. It was obvious on her face, and she loved that about Eleanor most of all. Letting Louis be himself, unapologetically. Louis was the very best and she was glad someone else saw it too. Eleanor squeezed her arm and followed him. She took a second to take in the moment. She couldn’t help but smile so completely happy with her life for the first time in a very long while.

She woke up at some point in the night by herself on the comfiest mattress she ever owned all thanks to Harry. She peered through two of the slats on the blinds of her window to get a better estimate of the time without having to look at her phone in hopes of falling back asleep in a few moments. It was still pitch-black out, save for the moon illuminating the sky.

After tossing and turning for nearly five minutes without drifting off quickly, she decided she may as well make good use of her time. She grabbed for her phone. As expected, the clock told her that if they were sharing a bed, it was time to have her nightly chat with Harry.

When she came back from dinner and before she fell asleep this evening, she told Harry she was a bit tired. She would call, of course. But she might drift off while talking.

Just wanted to hear your voice, kitten. Didn’t get to see you much today other than tea. Get some sleep, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, love.

So now she texted him. I’m awake now if you want to hear my voice.

The phone rang almost instantly. “Hi,” she whispered.

“S’like music,” he said sleepily. She giggled. “That’s a symphony,” he murmured.

Her heart was bursting. “Yeah?”

“M-hmm.”

“Did I wake you?”

“Yes,” he said simply. She frowned. But it was like he knew she was frowning, because he continued, putting her mind at ease. “I would probably wake up from a coma t’hear your voice.”

She was so close to saying she loved him out loud. How could she not? But how would she be any different than any intern or companion before her? She was determined to wait until it was over. Until he stopped paying her and then she could at least tell him. So he knew and he could...decide if she was worth it. “Did you have a good day?” She whispered instead.

He yawned and she heard the rustling of his sheets. Sitting up against his fluffy pillows, she assumed. “S’alright,” it sounded as if he were shrugging it off. “I was in a crummy mood all morning.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she wished she went into his office earlier to see how she could have helped.

“Not something y’could have helped with, beautiful,” he had a smirk in his voice. It left her breathless that he could tell how she was feeling without seeing her. “Before y’worry.”

“Me? Worry?”

He chuckled that beautiful breathy laugh of his. She imagined his dimples, his glittering eyes. “Mmm...”

It was quiet for a moment and since he wanted to hear her talk, she thought she may as well get it out of the way. “So...” she sighed. “Louis and Eleanor found out about my graduation ceremony actually happening somehow...and they’re making me go.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, which told her he already knew that they had found out because of him. “I think y’should go, love.”

“I know. I’m going to.”

He sighed with relief. “That’s good.”

“If...” she swallowed awkwardly hating how she was even asking in the first place. “If you wanted to come...I think I get a ton of tickets...it is a Saturday so you wouldn’t miss wor—”

“Kitten, of course m’going t’be there,” he promised. “I’d sell m’company t’be there for you.”

She scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’d sell it t’Niall, maybe. But I’d still sell it.”

She giggled. “Do you think Niall would want to come, too?”

“Yes, absolutely. We wouldn’t miss it.”

She clutched the phone tighter to her ear enjoying the sound of Harry at the other end. The irritation she felt was only a nagging little bite on the inside of her head that she pushed away. Because really, this whole month had to be the most, and totally, happiest she had been in years.

Saturday/Sunday

“I blame myself for my brother’s death,” she said it softly. She didn’t even ask if he was awake. Either she somehow knew, or she wasn’t looking for him to answer. Harry frowned, trailing his fingers up and down her arm. It was a sudden comment, but it was the middle of the night. It was what they did.

“I don’t think that’s possible, kitten.”

“I went to some stupid school party. I didn’t want to get in the car with the person offering a ride home. So, he came to pick me up, no questions asked. Not a care in the world that it was almost two in the morning,” she shrugged against him. “A car hit us,” she said simply. It was silent for a minute. Harry hardly moved. “He must have seen it coming before I did... because he turned...so his side of the car took the brunt of the hit.” He squeezed her. “I tried to pull him out. Begged him to breathe,” she shook her head. “It was awful,” her voice cracked. Harry couldn’t imagine what she had seen. Couldn’t imagine what it took for her to get in the car. No wonder she walked everywhere.

“Y’don’t have t’tell me, love,” he told her, and he meant it. That was plenty. He could fill in the gaps if it meant she didn’t have to relive it again. He was sure she relived it every day.

“It’s why my parents hate me.”

Harry sucked his lip into his mouth. “They shouldn’t,” he fully believed that. He may not have judged them for the way they grieved but they lost one child in that accident. It easily could have been two and yet somehow, they chose to lose them both even though she was right there, alive and in need of love more than ever.

Harry wouldn’t say it to her now, but he would think part of his heart would feel like it was missing if she had been lost all those years ago. Whether he knew her or not.

“Sometimes I think they’re right to,” she sniffled. “I’d hate me, too. He was the best,” she whispered shakily.

“Kitten.”

He loved the dark and their little chats every day since they started. Today, he hated it. It was too revealing. This was hurting her. And he hated that most. “I should have died.”

“Thank God, you didn’t.”

“It’s not fair,” she whispered. How many times had she said it to herself, her therapist, to Louis of all people? The only person who consoled her and not her parents...the only person who needed to be consoled as much as her was Louis. As he was breaking down, he was trying to keep her together. It wasn’t fair at all.

“No,” Harry shook his head. “It’s not.”

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

More silence. “I told you the dark is revealing.”

He smirked sadly. He wished he could tell her something just as revealing. But telling her he loved her so wholly when they weren’t in a relationship, not an actual one, after she was grieving for a moment in time, didn’t seem right. Harry wanted to tell her it was easy. Easy to love her. It was effortless having her in his life. He wanted to reveal something of equal weight. If only so she wouldn’t be sad. “I like getting t’know you,” he said instead.

“Even though I’m the reason someone died?”

He shook his head and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Someone else made a dumb decision, love. Of course, your brother would come t’help you. I’d do the same for Gem,” he promised. “S’in the brother handbook.”

“Louis said the same thing...he has a bunch of younger sisters...and me.”

“Louis would still do it for you, too; I’m sure.” They were silent again. He thought she fell asleep. Sometimes she would do that. So, he asked the question that had been burning in his mind forever. “I don’t want t’pry...What happened with your parents...after that?”

She shook her head. “Maybe another middle of the night talk. Not this one,” she mumbled.

He nodded. “Yeah, of course, love.”

“Thank you for...everything Harry. Really,” she yawned and nuzzled closer to his chest.

“Course, love,” he repeated and let her fall asleep beside him peacefully.

Wednesday

There was yelling from the other side of the door as she knocked, then immediately entered his office with tea. Right as she opened the door, he slammed the phone down to his desk. Then picked it back up and slammed it three more times into the receiver. She blinked and cringed with each hit. He slid a hand over his face and turned to face the window. Part of her thought he didn’t register she was in the room.

“Harry,” she said softly.

He shook his head. “Love, please jus’ leave the tea and go,” he grumbled. “M’gonna snap and I don’t want it t’be at you,” he sounded infuriated. Interns never seemed to work out because of his anger... She knew Niall worked hard to keep her away from Harry’s outbursts. Mostly because Niall knew Harry would never forgive himself if he ever broke her heart or scared her because of his job. But she still knew the stories. The whispers in the breakroom and by the copier about his anger weren’t something she could ignore. Sometimes Harry’s angry tone filled the whole floor. She bit her lip at his warning and nodded silently.

After she set the tea on his desk, she sat on the couch across the room. She sipped at her drink watching him tap on his phone screen searching for something. He turned back around after a moment looking at his computer and then she saw his eyes flicker over to her. “I know I told you t’leave,” his voice was icy. But she saw his gaze soften just a hair.

She didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to set him off or make him any angrier than he already was. She was content to sit there...just wanted to wait there in case he needed her because that’s what she did. Even if he was going to pretend that she wasn’t there.

His phone was ringing from the other end while he called someone. “I need the file we looked at this morning...” A pause and she watched him clench his fist and he squeezed his eyes shut angrily. “Well, I don’t have it!” he snapped slamming his fist on the desk. “If I had it, I wouldn’t have called! Can’t you just do what I fucking ask and bring—"

She hurried to his computer after he slammed his fist down. Not caring even a little, when he hardly moved out of her way and continued yelling at the poor person at the other end of the line. The words he snarled into the phone didn’t reach her ears. With three clicks and a few taps it was on his screen. She stepped out of his way and sat back on the couch waiting for the next mini blowup. He put his phone down again as his eyes scanned the screen. He grumbled about something unintelligible under his breath and he tapped on his phone screen again and brought it to his ear for all of five seconds.

“Come here,” he said into his phone.

Within moments, Niall was there. He frowned seeing Harry’s anger but managed a quick wink at the sweet girl sitting quietly on the couch. She sipped her coffee while Niall went behind Harry’s desk. He looked at the screen for a few moments and she saw his face falter a bit; he rubbed his hand on the back of his head. “Well, we knew this was coming.”

Harry turned away and paced to the other end of the room. Hands on the back of his head. Niall scrolled on his screen and sighed. He glanced at her. She hadn’t taken her eyes off the pair of them since Niall stood next to Harry. “C’mere,” he said to her. She hurried back over. He pointed to several itemized lines and murmured a few things that she only had a vague understanding of due to her limited understanding of things that happened here at Styles Incorporated solely because in the grand scheme of things, she hadn’t been there that long, and she was just an intern.

She looked at the numbers, pursed her lips in concentration and did her best to calculate quickly. “Can you shrink this number?” She asked, pointing at the screen.

He glanced at Harry who looked ready to jump out the window. His head pressed to the glass taking deep, angry breaths. “No, darling.”

“How about this one?” She pointed to a different cell. He shook his head again. She looked over at Harry who was clearly distraught. Sighing, she thought for a few quiet breaths and Niall frowned as he scrolled. She thought back to all her classes, every lecture, and every assignment she had ever worked on. Unfortunately, she came to only one conclusion.

“You can have them file for bankruptcy,” she shrugged.

Niall pushed her behind him as soon as the beginning of that b-word left her mouth. Harry hated that word. At the same time, Harry spun rapidly, took three long strides, and menacingly glared through Niall in her direction. “Are you fucking serious?” He hissed but he was staring so angrily at Niall, but the expression was really meant for her. She gulped audibly. This had to have been the nightmarish things that previous interns spoke about. It made her stomach churn and she thought she might throw up. God bless Niall for standing in her way—she knew Harry wouldn’t resort to physical violence. Not even a little. She felt it in her soul. But part of her wondered if it would hurt less than his cutting, angry voice.

No wonder Niall never let her be around Harry when he was mad. This was terrifying.

“Harry—” Niall started.

She blinked in surprise at how angry he got. At her. But he did warn her. Her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. “I am not having them file,” he growled.

Her face definitely turned red, and she swallowed nervously. “It’s your only option,” she whispered standing her ground anyway. He flung the cordless keyboard across the room. It smashed into the wall and many of the keys fluttered off in a heap against the wall. She flinched at the sound as he paced back to that side of the room.

“Darling, kindly shut it,” Niall whispered over his shoulder.

Harry paced and paced. Niall was still standing in front of her protectively as Harry grumbled to himself trying to make sense of it. “Why?” He practically barked at her. “Why’s it my only option?”

She took a deep breath. “The legal fees would equate to more than the bankruptcy payback.” He stopped pacing and turned to look at her. Niall even turned around and stared at her in surprise. “What?” She felt like this was a worse thing to say than bankruptcy. Niall stepped from in front of her and used the mouse to click through different screens on the computer, it took a moment because he no longer had a keyboard. He glanced at Harry and nodded.

Harry took a deep breath. “Can y’please explain that for me, love?” His voice was still tight with anger but at least he wasn’t barking at her or throwing things.

So, she did her best to explain that she remembered this once case she studied in her quantitative decision-making class. How it was expensive but kept the company afloat to file for a chapter of bankruptcy that allowed them to pay back the debt and keep going on if they could make it a few years. “She’s right...” Niall said clicking on the computer and gesturing to the screen. “Obviously,” he muttered under her breath.

Harry looked at the screen. While they did, she did some calculations on her phone. “So, they keep their assets?” He asked, looking up at her from the screen while Niall searched something on his phone to show Harry.

She nodded. “As long as they make this much,” she said and held her phone up to the two men.

Niall smirked. “I like her,” he said knowingly.

Harry sighed, still embittered. “Can you go buy me a new keyboard, love?” He asked.

Feeling like she had finally made a difference and helped a bit, she grabbed her coffee and nodded. “Sure,” she said softly.

“Don’t spend your own money on it either,” Harry said knowingly without looking up at her. She smirked to herself and left his office before she could say any more wrong things.

Since it was a Wednesday, she hadn’t seen Harry outside the office for two days. After getting the new keyboard and plugging it in, Harry was swamped for the remainder of the day. Lawyers, Niall, and others kept filing in and out of his office. At five in the evening, when most everyone was leaving, they were still coming and going. Niall hadn’t seen her in hours while she sat at her desk sending him files, answering calls, and taking messages. She knocked on the door before entering, carrying five or so pizzas and an assortment of drinks. Niall was the only one who noticed.

He winked at her, mouthed thank you, and watched as she left.

It was another hour before Harry noticed he was eating pizza...with pineapple on the slice. “Who got this?” He muttered.

“That cute intern of Niall’s,” one of the lawyers said.

“That’s your intern Niall? I’d be begging for her to alleviate the stress—”

“I wouldn’t finish that sentence if I were you,” Niall said calmly. Harry was glad he had a bite of pizza in his mouth and Niall interrupted that sentence before it finished. After the day Harry had he wasn’t sure he had much self-control left to not physically attack someone—especially on behalf of her.

How did he not notice the sweet girl bringing pizza? He was certain even if the room was on fire, he would still take the time to notice her. He frowned. He had no idea she did this.

“I think this is enough for tonight, Mr. Styles,” someone said after hours of being there. Harry hadn’t looked at the time in ages. Since before lunch at least. He was only vaguely aware that it was after one at some point only because she brought his daily tea. He nodded silently, still upset about the day but also that he had no idea the perfect girl was there.

“You screamed at her, y’know,” Niall said condensing the pizza boxes. Placing the empty ones by the trashcan for the maintainers to take care of. After everyone left. Harry was helping clean up as well and packing his things.

Harry tended to get a little fuzzy on his consciousness when he was mad. “I told her to leave.”

“You’re stupid for thinking she would,” he rolled his eyes. “She’s quite brilliant,” Niall said knowingly. “When are you going to offer her a job?”

“It’s complicated,” he remarked. “I think if I create a job for her, people...will get suspicious.”

“Who cares?”

Harry worked extremely hard to get Styles Incorporated where it was so quickly. You didn’t become a thirty under thirty member without working hard. In all that time, Harry made every decision he could to the best of his ability. He always wondered if he made mistakes. He loved this company. It was his pride and joy.

The idea of losing pieces of it broke his heart. Since it happened twice within the last three months, and she managed to save both those pieces from falling to the wayside...

She seemed to know how much he loved his job, his legacy. He didn’t like her idea all that much today, even if it was good or his only option. Even when he yelled at her and snarled like she wasn’t the most special person he knew. She still voiced her opinion, and he knew that had to have been hard for her.

It hurt him to think of failing in even one little branch. But he couldn’t argue with her that it was the best option he had for this moment. “This was a brilliant idea,” one of the lawyers said as they typed furiously on their laptop. It was hours after the lovely girl left the new keyboard on his desk. Harry didn’t respond with anything but one little nod. “We should keep this in mind...would have saved you some money a few years ago,” she remarked with a gentle smile.

Niall saying “who cares” suddenly sparked something in him. Why did he care? She was brilliant. He didn’t have to convince anyone of that. It was obvious when she walked into any room, took a passing glance at whatever document they were discussing, any graph they were looking at and she casually pointed out inconsistencies and almost always managed to save him money.

“Have the other interns been like her?” He asked quietly. He had been so closed off, so worried about the reasons they were truly there... The thought of that horrible woman who made comments to the sweet girl about sleeping with him... Harry would feel terrible if he was so cynical about the entire intern process if a quarter of them were as smart as her.

Niall smiled at his best friend. The relief flooded him before Niall even spoke. “Harry, I don’t think there’s anyone like her.”

The knock on her door surprised her. She thought it might be Louis or Eleanor who couldn’t be bothered to walk the last five blocks back to their place after a late-night dinner. It was nearing ten and she was snuggled up on the couch with her book and music playing on the TV.

Harry was leaning against the opposite wall as she opened the door. “Oh, hi,” she said softly.

Harry stayed where he was, and he smiled at her, tiredly. “You’re so cute,” he mumbled.

She glanced down at her pajamas. A mismatching pair of shorts and a tank top. One sock on because only the left one was cold. Harry looked tired but beautiful as ever. His button-down sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tucked into his dress pants. The tie he had been wearing all day was gone, the button at his neck undone. His hair looked as if he ran his hand through it a few too many times but his tiredness seemed most evident on his face.

“Come in,” she said opening the door wider. “Do you need something to eat or drink?” She asked.

“No... had the pizza y’got us,” he murmured finding his way to the couch, he folded the corner of the page where she was reading and set the book on the coffee table. He waited for her to sit beside him and once she did, his head was in her lap. “M’sorry I screamed at you. Y’didn’t deserve that.”

“I knew you didn’t mean it,” she threaded her fingers through his hair and lightly rubbed at his scalp. “Is it all taken care of?”

“Thanks t’you,” he mumbled. She smiled softly, grateful she could ease his anger and allow him to sleep. She didn’t say anything for a bit and soon enough he was asleep in her lap. She reached for her book and read for the better part of an hour while he snored gently into her leg.

When an hour had passed, she gently pulled herself out from his head and began undressing him down to his boxers. It took effort but once he was mostly naked, she tugged him off the couch holding him up as much as she could with his tall frame to drop him into her bed. She curled up to him, grateful for the extra night with him. The first one at her place, at that.

The moon was bright even through the closed blinds, making his skin practically glow as she faced his sleeping figure. His arm beneath her pillow outstretched so she fit neatly beneath his chin if she was close enough. Their legs twisted together, his much longer than hers.

She was quiet for a bit, tracing the sparrows tattooed just below his collarbones. “They stopped talking to me,” she whispered. It wasn’t quite the standard middle of the night, but it was pressing on her mind because it was rapidly approaching the seven-year anniversary of that horrible day and it hurt so freshly, so sharply. Like it was only a week ago. She wasn’t sure Harry was even awake, but she said it anyway...maybe it was better he didn’t hear anyway. “Except for when they had too much to drink. Then they just yelled and yelled. At each other, at me...” she swallowed the pain down. “If I didn’t go out, he wouldn’t have gone to get me. We would still be a family...he was their prince,” she explained.

Her fingers drifted over his arm that rested gently with his hand at her hip. She traced the heart tattoo, the rose, and then the anchor at his wrist. “They stopped caring about me, but I couldn’t stop caring about them. I made dinner for them even if they didn’t always eat. If they did, they complained about it. I stopped eating with them. We didn’t watch movies together on Sunday evenings. We didn’t celebrate Christmas. Part of me thinks they only kept me there because they knew deep down, I was still a minor and they had to—I could ruin their lives worse by reporting them...” she bit her lip. “I don’t even think I would do that... At some point... they were the only people that ever took care of me... but then they just stopped and honestly, I don’t blame them.”

Harry didn’t make any note that he could hear but she kept going anyway. “So, I started taking care of everyone I crossed paths with...” she paused for a moment just to see if anything registered on Harry’s mind. It didn’t seem like it. But it made it easier for her to tell the story.

“When I turned 18, I invited Louis over to help me. I didn’t say with what. But the second he saw my parents...the ones that didn’t love me anymore... Louis moved me into his place... I felt so horrible, but I actually asked him to stay there just until... until I left for university at the end of the summer. He looked... betrayed. Like I let him down... He gave me the lecture of the century and Eleanor just braided my hair while he did. They made my favorite food. Neither of them said Happy Birthday once and I didn’t even care because for even just one day someone was taking care of me again,” she had done well up to this point not crying.

She sniffled and shook her head. She reached up and outlined Harry’s eyebrows, the shape of his nose. The curve of his lips and the jawline that ached her to the core. “Louis doesn’t talk about it, but I know he saw more than I ever wanted him to. I know he resents the way I hid. I think part of him wished I still lived with him. He insisted I stay the summers I came home from university,” she told the sleeping figure.

“But I got a boyfriend part way through university. We moved in quickly. Of course, I took care of him... and I didn’t mind. I liked it. He liked it. He was easy... food, sex, cleaning...” she mumbled. “But I still went to visit my parents because I couldn’t help it. I’ve never told Louis that. I didn’t tell my therapist that either...I’m sure she would be mad. And you know, I still go twice a month without telling anyone. Well, except you now... I don’t know why... I don’t know... I couldn’t leave them...they...they have to be in there still, right? The people that threw me princess birthday parties and put Band-Aids on my knees after a fall on my bike? Even after...after all of it...they’re my parents somewhere in there. Every time I go it’s just...yelling and hating me. I clean, make sure there’s food in the fridge, and then I leave,” Harry didn’t answer her. “I was supposed to stay the night at a hotel because I was supposed to move some of the last of my things...but it was a bad day. I just wanted to go home... I guess I got the sex part right with him,” she said with a smirk but without humor in her voice. “Just...not with me. Guess I didn’t do a good job there either,” she sighed sadly. “So... There it is. They just...acted as if I died too.”

Harry didn’t move a muscle. She smiled softly and kissed his cheek. “I think that’s everything,” she whispered. “I think you know everything now,” she told him. “Good night, baby,” she whispered tucking herself against his chest.

There was no movement for at least a full minute and then his arms came around her so tightly, he squeezed her like he was trying to press all the broken pieces back together. “You’re so lovely,” he murmured. “Don’t forget that,” he pressed his lips to her temple and she closed her eyes tight trying to keep the tears from spilling over like a waterfall. “S’great t’know you,” he squeezed her again. “S’an honor t’know y’care ‘bout me,” he mumbled to her.

She nodded her head in recognition that she had heard him but if she spoke, she would either cry or, worse, tell him she loved him. So, she sighed deeply against his chest and slowly fell asleep while he pressed another kiss to her forehead. Like he was trying to heal her from the outside in just by kissing the front of her tired, sad brain.

Part of her thought that with Harry it might work.

Next Wednesday

Harry was going to lose his mind. When he started the day, he was so excited that he finally had good news for the sweet girl and was excited about their future. He couldn’t wait to surprise her during their movie night the following day, at home snuggled on the comfy couch.

Instead, he was totally blindsided by the fourth of the same type of phone call of that same day.

The call started out the same as all the other ones he’d been getting. They introduced themselves. “Aye, Harry. Zayn. How are you?”

Harry blinked in surprise at the voice at the other end. Zayn was CEO of his own company, located a few towns over called Malik Industries. Rarely did they interact with one another because their clientele was very different. But every so often at big black-tie shin digs and philanthropic events they’d run into one another. In this business, it was all about networking. He was hoping he wouldn’t get this call only because Zayn was closest to his age... which was closer to her age... “Right, good. Yourself?”

“Great. Listen, I’ll make this quick, I know you’re a busy guy. I have an application in front of me and it lists you and Niall as references, and I’m used to seeing Niall’s name... but I had to ask you. You never give your name as a reference.” His heart stopped because he could only guess who the application belonged to.

She applied here too?

“Harry?” He asked. “Did I lose you?”

“Uh...” he shook his head trying to regain his composure. He was absolutely confused. She didn’t say anything about applying to any of these places and this was the fourth phone call he had to sit through with an aching heart. “No, sorry. Untimely email,” he muttered quickly. He wasn’t even facing his computer.

“Right, I understand. I’ll keep it short... you think she would be good here?”

His breath caught in his throat. She would be good anywhere. But the idea of not seeing her smiling face each afternoon carrying tea in her hands to his office (not that she would continue to have to do that if she worked here full time) was the last thing Harry wanted. “Uh...yeah, she...she would be great.”

There was a pause and a short chuckle. “I know you don’t usually do these reference calls, but there’s usually a bit more than that.”

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat trying to get the words to spill out. How could he tell her she was perfect? How could he just give her away? He wanted her there all the time in every facet of his life. She made everything better. “I know, I know,” Harry shook his head again in an attempt to get his verbal processing to work again. “She’s perfect. She can do anything. Fit in anywhere. If she doesn’t know how t’do something, she’ll figure it out. Brilliant. Truly. It’s cutthroat out there and she still manages t’be an angel. Doesn’t even bat an eye in the face of adversity. She’ll keep morale up by decorating for holidays and she makes the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had.”

“See that’s what—”

“You can’t have her,” Harry interrupted flatly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought she applied because there—”

“Yes. No. I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “She did apply. She would be perfect. You can’t question that. Seriously. Y’would probably hand her the keys t’your office if she joined y’in any capacity. I want t’do that somedays...but I want t’keep her here.”

“I see,” Zayn sounded agreeable. “She sounds quite special. Her recommendations, her transcript, everything is incredible. She seems like a wonderful asset Harry. Are you sure you have room for her?”

He prickled at the notion that he wouldn’t make room for her. “Yes,” he said definitively.

“Alright. Well, good for you. I hope she’s happy there. I’ll take her application any time in the future if you see a reason she needs to go elsewhere.”

Harry didn’t see it happening ever. “Sorry t’disappoint.”

“Not a problem at all. You know a good one when you see them, I get it. Have a good one,” the call ended abruptly. As if on cue, she knocked and opened his door at quarter past the hour. Clockwork. She closed the door quickly.

“Hi baby,” she winked as she whispered the pet name at him. “Brought your tea. And I got us some cake pops. I think they’re yummy. Maybe we could try to make them from scratch this weekend.”

There is no way she could just go. His heart fluttered at her words, and he smiled. He felt the ache in his chest melting away as it always did when she was around while he was upset. “Whatever you want, kitten.”

Harry didn’t tell her about the good news during movie night. He was too upset about all the phone calls.

He didn’t tell her while they were making cake Pops on that Saturday either.

When she chose to just exist that weekend a couple months ago, and not remember anything that happened over her horrible couple of days and not think about her parents, she did catch up with Louis and Eleanor that following Tuesday. Harry watched from her kitchen as the pair of them cooed over her and she let some tears fall.

“Your mum’s not having a memorial,” Eleanor told her. So that was that. It was over.

“Oh,” she said like it was a surprise.

Louis glanced at Eleanor and pursed his lips. She combed her hair back and gave her another hug while Louis pressed his hand to her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Louis glanced at Harry and shrugged. Harry thought that meant her mum wasn’t having a memorial that she could attend. It hardened Harry’s heart while he set some mugs of tea on her counter out for the three of them.

The lawyers managed to get some information about her inheritance. The house was already in a trust under her name. “Harry, we’re grasping a bit at straws here. We don’t practice family law,” he reminded him during their next movie night.

“I know, I know. M’sorry,” he said rubbing the back of his neck while he watched from the kitchen as the girl swayed quietly on the porch swing. At the end of February, she was still insistent on sitting in the freezing cold. “I jus’ want t’make sure she’s taken care of.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think this woman cares,” he said bluntly.

Harry frowned and ended the phone call before heading to the swing with mugs of hot chocolate. She lifted the blanket, a beanie hat almost falling into her eyes as he slid in beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder and for the moment Harry just let her live knowing that as long as she stayed here, she was cared for.

Which is why he was so happy when the lawyers finally informed him that she would have the house... eventually. The life insurance policy was never changed out of her name, and it wasn’t like they could change it now. All of it was something that could ease the ache of the worry she had.

Harry attended the memorial service, too, a week or so after that. He told her and Niall he was attending to business out of town. Niall looked at him suspiciously and he felt bad lying to the sweet girl but he...he wanted to...well he didn’t even know what he wanted. He just wanted to know what her parents were like. There were many people there. He was surprised that they still had friends after cutting off their sweet daughter. But Harry was trying his best not to judge their mourning.

He saw Louis and Eleanor there gently consoling her mother without it truly reaching their eyes. Louis saw Harry at the edge of the mourners at the cemetery, he gave him a succinct nod and then tilted his head discreetly to the right.

When everyone left, he headed to where Louis gestured, totally alone.

He read the dates on the stone, did the math, and he sighed. “I’ll do anything for her,” he knelt and pulled some weeds away from the flowers laid there. Quietly to her brother’s grave, he whispered “I promise.”

Monday

Now seemed like it was too late to tell her anything about the good news. She had seemed off all evening. Maybe it was the stress of graduation and her internship. The office had been so busy lately they hardly had a moment to have tea in the afternoon.

It was his own fault, however. When all said and done.

Now, he was walking her home from dinner. Well, actually, he was nearly running after her. She refused to get in the car. Despite how late it was. So, Harry followed her on foot. She was fast, even in the little heels she wore. The driver was close behind on their trail as well.

“I didn’t ask for you to do that!” She snapped at him. She never snapped at him. Not once. And there were plenty of times she could have over the last eight and a half months. But he thought he was being helpful. Figuring out the stuff with her mum, finding a way to finally split Niall’s position. All of it.

He thought things were going so well and even with the end of her internship coming up at the end of the next month, he was so hopeful for their future in so many ways. He didn’t really know what went wrong. He kept the conversation light trying to figure out her slightly soured mood. It didn’t seem completely fair, but he was heartbroken that he made her upset.

But it was the email that was the final straw. She received it in the middle of dinner. Mr. Malik stated there must have been miscommunication as she would be staying with Styles Incorporated. He would love to have her, feel free to apply in the future if so needed, but of course, she should stay where she’s comfortable.

Harry was in mid-conversation with the waiter, ordering dessert. Something she was reallylooking forward to when she read through the email. But the second she finished it she was angry and didn’t want dessert. She called Niall quickly, while Harry was still chatting, holding one finger up as she put her phone to her ear.

He winked at her, continuing his conversation and didn’t mind at all whether she was using her phone nor questioning it. He’d done so many times before and she was always so kind and patient about it. If he did question it, so shortly after the email, maybe he would have seen it coming. But he didn’t...he didn’t see it coming at all. “Did you...talk to Mr. Malik?” She asked him when Niall answered.

“No, darling, I haven’t heard from him or...or anyone yet about your applic—”

“Never mind,” she hung up. The second she uttered the name of another company Harry’s voice died in the conversation he was having, and he directed his attention to her.

“Did you?” She asked, point blank.

“Yes,” he said. “I told him you would be a perfect fit.”

She blinked. “Then why does he think I’m staying at Styles Incorporated?”

Harry frowned. “Don’t you want to?”

She wasn’t going to lie. “I mean...yes...but don’t you think you should have told me you were going to hire me before—”

“I just figured—"

“Harry...I’ve been rejected or ghosted from everywhere I applied to. I’ve been crying to Niall so stressed and anxious that I’m not good enough and—have you been telling everyone in the area?”

“You’ve been crying about—?”

“Harry,” she snapped.

He was surprised by her tone. “Of course...I want t’keep you,” he whispered.

“Well, what if I can’t,” her voice cracked, her hand fiddling with her silverware on the plate.

“What are y’talking about? Of course, y’can,” he said quickly reaching across the table for her hand but she pulled it back. “Kitten.”

“I don’t want dessert,” she said and stood up and marched out of the restaurant. He hurried to throw money on the table and follow after her.

When they made it to her apartment building, she was huffing. She was angry the entire way there not listening to Harry call after her, not stopping even though he begged. Harry felt like he was losing her with every step. When they reached her door, he tried again to console her as best he could. “Love, I just wanted to hel—”

“I know you feel entitled to everything I am and do because of what we are, but I didn’t ask you to do any of that! Stay out of my business.”

“Kitten,” Harry felt crushed, like she stole all the air out of her lungs.

“I know you told Louis and Eleanor about my graduation ceremony, and I let it slide... because part of me is hoping they forget that it’s in two weeks because right now, I don’t want to go. It hurts to think about my brother’s ceremony—the last time we were a family. And I know you had your lawyers talking to my mom because she called me today all up and arms about how I’m selfish to even take what she’s giving me and of course I hadn’t a clue what she was talking about. I thought it was a prank,” Harry was silent as he listened. “I know you have your driver follow me around whenever I’m out walking. Not even at night,” still quiet. But he dropped his gaze to the floor for a moment before looking back up at her. It did sound controlling when she was so angry. “On top of all that, I hadn’t gotten any notice about my student loans so I called my servicer to inquire. And guess what?”

Harry’s lips pressed together. He didn’t say a word. Because of course he already knew why she didn’t get any info about her loans. “Now this? Harry, I’ve worked my butt off to do this on my own and you just...told every company within a twenty-mile radius that I’m staying, and I didn’t even get to know that I could do it on my own? That all my hard work and all those hard things I had to face on my own just meant nothing? I thought I failed so miserably.” She was crying so hard, and she wished she wasn’t but every time she felt anger coursing through her it was an unfortunate consequence. Harry just wanted to console her and make it stop. He felt so terrible.

Every day she showed up to work and made everyone’s life so much easier. She baked brownies for the breakroom, made copies for anyone that asked because she was the only one who could stop it from jamming, and of course she went out every day, snow, sleet, hail, or rain to get himself and Niall their Starbucks order. She took care of him when he was sick and saved such a large chunk of his company, he could never repay her. All he wanted to do was help her the way she helped everyone else.

“Love,” he whispered reaching for her. She stepped out of his way.

“Just go,” she snapped as she slammed the door shut in his face. His heart felt broken, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. Because as always, she was right. He just...did everything for her because he could. Really because he wanted to, but he should have at least asked.

He could hear the sniffles and her tears through the door. He waited a minute listening to her gasping breath hoping something in his head would click. Something would appear in his mind that he could say to her. But in times like this, it was usually her that knew what to do. So of course, he couldn’t ask her. As he turned to leave, he heard her croaked voice whispering Louis’ name into the phone.

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a-libra-writes · 1 year

Note

Ello! may I please request some of the Lackadaisy characters reacting to a ridiculously tall male reader joining their crew?- like hit their head on every doorframe tall?/jk- but in all seriousness, maybe like 8ft or something?

okay im going for like 7ft or so because that SLIGHTLY more reasonable but not by much; idgaf tho this is funny. Also if you will please imagine this as a lanky ass oriental cat a la Pangur of pangur-and-grim fame. also featuring lots of bi cats, because I say so.

Lots under the cut!

♣️Rocky - Oh!! That's a big one! He makes endless "how's the weather up there" jokes (some are so weird) and has lots of ... stories ("St. Louis' very own creature from the river bottoms, only arising when the fog is heaviest!"); it really brings him back to his circus barker days. The first time you picked him up he was momentarily stunned, also he may or may not have climbed up you like a kitten when something startled him. It only happened once, okay? He's also fond of swatting at your absurdly long tail, as in it distracts him mid-sentence and he just has to take a swipe. Look, this probably won't awaken anything in him.

♣️Freckle - First thought? Terrifying, even when you bonked your head pretty bad on the doorframe. Okay, well, you were a little less scary after the third time. He's used to being smaller than most men, but something about you just towering is nothing short of creepy, especially if you have a more tough or intense personality. If you're a kinder soul, Freckle relaxes much faster. When you both have to pile into the back of the car, he feels really awkward about how you have to contort and twist yourself. Jeez, that doesn't look comfortable ... and somehow it makes him feel a lot smaller, which he doesn't appreciate.

♣️Ivy - Omiiigossshhh, the girls at school are not gonna believe this. She beelines to you right away, delighted with the novelty she's discovered. Naturally she wants to dance, and she'd be so shocked and delighted if you were elegant in spite of your lankiness - that'll get her a crush right away. Don't worry, if you're more clumsy, you're still cute! She thinks everything you do is "cute", even if you have the face of a thug and the body of a furry noodle. Having to scoot into cars, towering over the bar when you sit on a stool, your shirt sleeves nearly going to your elbows? Cute! She'd love to buy you something real fancy that fit, she just knows you'd look sharp.

♣️Mitzi - Oh. Oh my. Not her usual taste, but with the right clothes and some pomade, well, you'd be a proper gentleman. Mitzi is already plotting to get you a nice suit made, and good naturedly notes you ought to eat more or the wind will knock you right over. She already feels small next to Atlus and Viktor, but that's doubled with you. Sometimes it makes her a little uncomfortable, but she knows you don't mean to cause the discomfort. If she got you a real nice suit and a gun, you'd be an excellent guard for when she's out and about ...

♣️Viktor - He tries to recall the last time he was this much shorter than someone ... When he was twelve, perhaps? He feels zero intimidation from you, though. Viktor's confident he could snap you in half if need be. Hm, if they got some muscle on you, you might be able to handle some serious firepower... He thinks on it. Oh, and now he isn't the only one having to dodge doorframes. If you're a less violent-inclined person, many times he's growled at you to stop being so slack-jawed and try to look scary, especially when you both are supposed to be guarding.

♣️Zib - Wow yeah okay this is awakening something in him for sure. The musician gets a little hot under the collar when you stand really close and he has to look up, or god forbid, you bend down to his eye level. He has no idea why he's feeling both aroused and terrified, and what that's supposed to mean. Once you said "good boy" as a joke and he nearly tripped and fell off the stage. He's this hopeless even when you're a dork; if you're actually a smooth operator, he's doomed.

♣️Atlas - Yeah, it's not hard to figure out how you stood out to him. You were offered a job, and though you're much lankier than a triggerman out to be, Atlas has plans. Just some fattening up, some practice with a gun and a well-made suit (your Christmas present, in fact), and you cut quite a shadowy figure. The suit is probably the finest one you own, and the only clothing that's fit in years. Mitzi helped choose the color.

🏵️Serafine - She's intrigued right away, which is no surprise. Most people notice you right away, and it's even better if you work for the Marigold gang and she gets to have plenty of time to flirt and bother and amuse you. Serafine is doubly entertained if you're a more clumsy or nervous sort. She loves calling you "le fantôme" or "le boogeyman", and very much admires when you use your height to frighten someone they're having a "talk" with. She has absolutely grabbed your long-ass tail to get your attention.

🏵️Nico - Listen. He's been with men before - not as much as women, mind you, and he's always preferred those who are smaller than him, which is most. But look. You're a tree, he's a squirrel. No shame, you're cute and he'll say it. He can probably pick you up just fine (which he's very proud of) and laughs if it embarrasses you. He's very interested in how you might fight, and has given you several tips on how to use your unusual size to your advantage when going hand-to-hand with someone.

🏵️Mordecai - Yes this is definitely awakening something and he doesnt want to think hard about it also why is EVERY damn person around him a tree -- You drive him up a wall for many reasons. You slouch all the time, your clothes never fit right, you don't carry a gun that would work best for your long fingers. The Savoys joke about you being Mordecai's "project" because he keeps fussing over you. Though they must say, it's a lot easier to get information out of their targets when they have Mordecai's signature glare and a terrifying cryptid looming over him.

⛰️Wick - Oops! All those feelings he's repressed since boarding school are coming out. Note you could be awkwardly trying to get through a doorway or climb out of a car, with clothes that don't fit quite right or trying to finesse a gun that's too small and he is just, totally enamored. If you have more of a scary demeanor - or you put on that act when you're working as Mitzi's bodyguard - then he's still enamored, just with a dash of fear. So. That's confusing.

#i have a lackadaisy OC loosely based on that inbred oriental baby lol #who is just. a fucking tree. a snake with fur.#lackadaisy x reader #rocky rickaby x reader #calvin mcmurray x reader #freckle mcmurray x reader #ivy pepper x reader #mitzi may x reader #viktor vasko x reader #dorian zibowski x reader #zib zibowski x reader #serafine savoy x reader #nicodeme savoy x reader #mordecai heller x reader #wick sable x reader #atlas may x reader

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saintarmand · 18 days

Note

wait I need to hear about the Daniel Lestat parallels

in answering your question i ended up typing a lot about a lot of things... some of which i think is pretty good and some of which is messy nonsense. enticing sneak preview:

daniel and lestat's similarities

the show overall as a story about how substance abuse affects families

how daniel mirrors both louis and lestat as a husband and as a father

facts, conjecture, and lots of theories about different aspects of daniel's backstory:

how antoinette may parallel armand, madeleine, and daniel's daughter

how daniel might mirror claudia???

like lestat, daniel can be pretty arrogant. they both love to lecture. "this is just how it is, listen to me, i would know! i have so much experience and knowledge to share." classic old white man behavior. hell, they're both old bisexual white men even. like lestat, daniel doesn't think of himself as racist but is still throwing microaggressions at both louis and armand.

daniel & lestat, danlou & loustat

lestat and daniel are both judgmental of some of louis's life choices (though usually different ones) and are not shy about saying so. they both make faces at louis eating animals—daniel also just louis eating in general ofc. but WE KNOW he still secretly thinks it's sexy and is also perhaps a bit jealous when louis is drinking from a hot guy, much like lestat. (don't pick the jacked sailor louis!!! great aesthetic but NO.)

so personality-wise, daniel is a combination of both louis and lestat. (he even has some claudia in him with his quest for the truth. i bet claudia would love to be a journalist, digging up dirt on people, exposing corruption! she's already a prolific writer too. but i'm getting sidetracked.)

both loustat and danlou are fond of each other, attracted to each other, but are also constantly bickering, sometimes in all good fun and sometimes not.

we see daniel yelling at louis in the show, and he's always yelling at armand in devil's minion. like lestat, he has a lot of anger in him. i bet he could throw a punch too back in the day. and while i don't think he was abusive to his wives, we know he wasn't a good husband either. especially while he was using.

and this is where we get to the most important parallel between them: lestat's "overindulgence" in killing is analogous to substance abuse. of course drinking too much blood doesn't actually make him act the way he does, but what happens in the show is still very reminiscent of the way alcoholism and drug abuse contributes to relationship problems. the substance itself doesn't lead to abuse, but it exacerbates things.

human blood is drugs actually

in the books, lestat talks about getting drunk a lot when he was human. louis calls himself a drunk too, and in the show their relationship starts by them going out all night almost every night. then they start going out every night to drink human blood. louis feels pressured to drink in order to please lestat, but eventually he wants to cut back. lestat is angry, telling louis it's stupid, there's nothing wrong with drinking, it's pointless, it's gonna be so hard, you won't be able to do it. and of course he feels like it's an attack on his own blood drinking. louis doesn't ask lestat to quit with him, but out of respect for louis's choice, he doesn't drink around louis anymore. lestat starts having parties at the house all the time. louis is totally fine with it, he's there, it's fine, it's fun. at least until it starts to get out of hand. and then lestat's fucking around on him too. eventually louis has a big relapse, things get way out of hand, it costs him his job even, lestat's like lol welcome back! told you this would happen! so louis breaks up with him.

but whooops he comes back carrying a child. you know, in his arms! he really wants to keep the kid. lestat acquiesces. louis doesn't go back to drinking human blood, but he doesn't have to because lestat has a new drinking buddy, a 14-year-old girl! he gave her a taste and she loved it! yay! louis tries to warn her about potential consequences. he's had a lot of them. she was a consequence even, but a good one. but she likes drinking with lestat, and eventually she starts going out on her own. and it gets out of hand.

daniel is sober now, "like louis", but he had a big drug problem back in the day. louis asks him about the "best he ever had." black tar heroin is nothing compared to what lestat gave louis that first time. yeah, it's not just drinking, it's hard drugs that lestat gave his kids.

louis's family doesn't know what the hell he and lestat get up to all night but they know it's nothing good. he stopped coming over for months, even years, but one time he showed up, watched the baby for just a second, dropped him on the floor. he wasn't invited to the kids' birthday party cause they're afraid of him. he showed up late and broke the door. they cut him out entirely. are he and his... partner, the right kind of people to adopt?

one time the cops get called. they raid the house but the evidence is well hidden. mostly. they refrain on calling the child welfare league but they don't like what they see. louis and lestat lecture claudia; louis about the drugs themselves, lestat about not hiding her tracks well enough. and speaking of, are those track marks on her arms? we don't do that kind of thing in this house!

claudia tells louis he's the one who brought her into the house. enabled lestat to give her a taste. she leaves home, staying somewhere new every night. she's still using, on her own and in dangerous situations. eventually she returns home. it's safer with someone watching your back.

lestat and claudia say louis's abstaining comes off judgmental. so he starts using again too. they throw a big big party with great party favors. claudia puts something in lestat's.

in season 2 (and i'm spoiling the whole plot), claudia and louis will travel around looking for people who are into the same stuff. the ones they find are pathetic, living like trash. then they find a group having some real fun, big parties. louis's not into it, but he's into armand, who doesn't mind that he doesn't use as much. claudia will get sick of the parties but get louis to give this woman she meets a little taste like lestat did with her. but armand doesn't want claudia around. armand and louis will keep using together, meet a guy in a bar. give him a taste of the good stuff. eventually louis will want to cut back again, and armand accepts it, even helps him. but louis's not much fun anymore.

just this once, daniel is a step ahead of louis; daniel's second marriage has already fallen apart.

daniel and alice

daniel compares louis to his first wife when he tells her about her dyeing her eyebrow; she thinks she has a flaw and tried to cover it up, but daniel likes her the way she is. lestat treated louis's aversion to killing like a flaw, and louis internalized that, calling himself a botched vampire, but daniel likes that about him. louis is like alice in a way.

some wild conjecture: what if alice was an addict too? what if daniel somehow contributed to her addiction like lestat did with louis? what if alice stopped using like louis, while daniel continued like lestat? or maybe she never used any drugs, but started drinking due to strain on her marriage; a more indirect cause. and what about the kids? what if, like claudia becoming a blood drinker like her parents, daniel's kids ended up inheriting his addiction too? becoming alcoholics as teens or adults? or maybe it affected them even more directly, like one of them accidentally ingested something he left lying around, and almost died like claudia? okay, that got dark... maybe daniel avoided getting his kids directly involved, perhaps by simply not being around much, and that's one of the differences between their stories. narrative foils aren't supposed to be identical after all, just further the same themes. a parent's substance abuse affects the children, one way or another. we don't know the details, but like lestat's fledglings, daniel's kids don't talk to him anymore.

daniel proposed to alice "after he got his shit together" but we don't know when this was. we do know daniel had a daughter by 1978 (7 years before car seats are mandatory) though we don't know how old she was—probably under 6 given he was imagining her in a car seat. we can probably assume alice is the mom, and based on her commenting on this part of his memoir that he never owned a buick, we can probably assume they were together around this time, or at least in contact. we also know he used black tar heroin in 1978.

this is only like semi-canon but on his linkedin page it says he started working as a freelance investigative journalist in 1982. it could be a random date but i imagine he's "got his shit together", working real jobs. so maybe it was around this time that he and alice got married. if we're assuming the devil's minion mind wipe theory is true, it would also be very fitting if the confusion of lost memories was what drew him specifically to investigative journalism as opposed to the portrait pieces he did before that. he doesn't know what the truth is anymore, so he starts looking for it wherever he goes.

and speaking of devil's minion, if daniel was cheating on alice with armand, then he's a lot like lestat indeed. but his secret lover is so secret he himself doesn't even know about him anymore. (or maybe alice did know there was someone, and felt very gaslighted when daniel suddenly started insisting it never happened after basically admitting it before? or maybe daniel's denials just suddenly got so convincing she agreed to marry him?)

two marriages, two children?

in 1985, daniel and alice were talking past each other when she told him she was pregnant. he was like remind me again later

louis and lestat didn't have another kid together, but lestat did make another vampire: antoinette. lestat had a child! while the marriage was going badly, a few years after getting (back) together. just like our boy danny.

after "breaking up" with lestat, louis will also have a "child", madeleine. he's giving claudia a "sister" while he's dating armand.

so here's a two-part prediction: 1. alice dumped daniel before their second child was born. 2. daniel met his second wife before his second child with was born.

so like lestat turning antoinette, daniel got alice pregnant BEFORE getting dumped like lestat (pun intended).

and like louis turning madeleine, daniel's second child was born AFTER he met his (soon-to-be) second spouse.

what if, like armand, the second wife didn't like daniel spending much time with his kids? it's been known to happen. we know absolutely nothing about this second marriage but i think we'll get something in season 2. is there something daniel shares with armand as the types of husbands they make? i bet there will be

daniel's childhood?

we know where daniel is now, and a little bit about how he got here. but the thing we know absolutely nothing about is where he started.

daniel was already struggling with drug abuse by the time he met louis and armand, doing what he "had to" to get high. we know it's not really the only reason he frequented gay bars, but still. he was at a point where he was willing to play the crack whore. so what led to it? addiction doesn't come from drug use alone, and genes aren't enough either. there's always something you're struggling to cope with that leads you to drug abuse. so what was it? his sexuality could be enough, but i bet there's more to it than that.

if we're looking for lestat parallels, rape trauma works. maybe his interest in claudia's assault was personal, his flippancy a defense mechanism? certainly a possibility. but childhood trauma seems like the safest bet, doesn't it? lestat certainly had it. but i don't wanna focus on him now.

i mentioned earlier that daniel and claudia share a passion for the truth and for writing. what if he had some of her childhood too? abusive parents, parents abusing drugs or alcohol, parents fighting a lot, parents cheating on each other. pick as many as you like. maybe he was even a band aid for a shitty marriage. maybe there was a difficult divorce. maybe one of his parents had an awful new partner and said they'd dump them but never did, or got back together every time. picked someone else over him over and over again. he certainly had a lot to say about that! maybe he gets so incensed over being lied to because his parents always lied to him too. maybe his outburst wasn't about louis at all. maybe memory is the monster. maybe his parents cursed him into the darkness. lestat's did, and he cursed his own children in turn. i bet that's what happened to daniel too: they fuck you up, your mom and dad; the poison drips through; we dance on the strings of those who came before us; memory is a monster. maybe daniel became his own father too. his father or his mother or both. it's usually both, right?

this is louis's story first and foremost but parts of it are claudia and lestat and armand's too, and daniel functions as a funhouse mirror for all of them!!!

whew

in adding the chapter headings i ended up moving things around so idk how coherent this is but i fear proofreading would only result in me editing this forever and i would really like to avoid locking even more posts into the drafts vault. 😭 hopefully it coheres? thank you for reading and please let me know your thoughts!

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #s #daniel #vampterview #vampterviewing

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covenofthearticulate · 4 months

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I asked people this about Armand and Daniel ages ago, but now I'm curious about your thoughts regarding Louis

If Louis had the opportunity to undo one of the vampire nerfs, and either be able to go out in the sun without danger or pain, eat human food and generally be able to absorb things that aren't blood, or have sex without the need for hormone injections, which do you think he would go for?

Oooooooh that's such an interesting question, idk!!

On a practical note, opting to digest food would put an end to all his moral anxieties over killing that he's been grappling with for ages. But to give up blood feels like giving up vampirism as a whole LOL like what's the point. Killing is the only source of pleasure in his miserable existence; blood is really the only constant he has in his life. Getting up each morning and wrestling with that fact is one of the foundational tenants of Louis de Pointe du Lac.

I'm also just thinking about this absolutely based quote from totbt:

Lestat, you can't become human by simply taking over a human body! You weren't human when you were alive! You were born a monster, and you know it.

Like aksjhdbkfdhsb apart from this being the most sickening insult in the history of vampire kind, I've always wondered how much Louis was actually talking about himself here. Despite the fact that he later admits that he KNOWS he went too far when he said this ("Sometimes you frighten me so badly I hurl sticks and stones at you.") I still think he absolutely meant what he said. There's just something about the Catholic Angst Flavor of being born a monster, being damned from the start, that I think is just going to be forever engrained in Louis.

ANYWAY I didn't mean for this to delve into a whole meta analysis but this is all to say that I think even if Louis were to give up blood, he would still perceive himself as a monster.

My instinct is to say that he'd pick sunlight, mostly because the very first thing that popped into my head when I read this ask was the exchange he had with Lestat at the end of totbt:

"I didn't want the weakness; I didn't want the limitations; I didn't want the revolting needs and the endless vulnerability; I didn't want the drenching sweat or the searing cold. I didn't want the blinding darkness, or the noises that walled up my hearing, or the quick, frantic culmination of erotic passion; I didn't want the trivia; I didn't want the ugliness. I didn't want the isolation; I didn't want the constant fatigue." "You explained this to me before. There must have been something...however small...that was good!" "What do you think?" "The light of the sun."

There's just something so poignant about this moment, when after his big misadventure, Lestat is still reeling, still upset and confused and anguished about everything that happened, and it's Louis who reminds him of why he so desperately wanted to be human in the first place.

I know that, when Daniel asks Louis if he misses the sun, Louis replies "Not really." And maybe that is true, maybe Louis doesn't miss the sunlight when he's able to enjoy the beauty of the world around him with all the depth of a vampire. But I still think that the poet and the aesthete in him yearns for the light.

Also he's definitely not choosing sex LOL my guy has 0 libido and no interest in experiencing that sort of thing as a vampire. I know that's hypocritical of me to say as someone who thinks about Loustat Smut like 24/7 but LMFAO Lestat has enough sexual appetite for the both of them

#THANK YOU FOR THIS #girl i've been pouring over the loustat scenes in totbt for the last 2 months and it's got me fuck UP!!!!#i love it so much. favorite flavor of canon tbh #;answered #louis de pointe du lac #vampire meta

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rainbowcarousels · 9 months

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I want to do something longer about this but one of the things I really enjoy doing with a modern Nicki is to make him something of antithesis of what you consider a Ricean vampre to be. I think it puts him into a more interesting contrast with the others, especially Louis, Lestat and Armand as the original vampires in the series.

Louis is gentleman death, kills indiscriminently but will lose himself to his books, is not overly concerned about his appearance (although Armand and Lestat do seem to make sure he's dressed well), he's generally neat and quiet and dignified by comparison to the more boisterous Lestat who more embodies what I think of when I think fo Ricean vampires. He's clean cut but mischievious, wild and challenging but deep and meaningful, he's the mess of contradictions - they all are really. Armand is also someone who reinvents himself for his eras, his era identity shapes around his personal identity but he is a tech nerd, he does love the arts, he likes to feel safe and he is by nature a caretaker. He knows the rules of vampirism and largely sticks to them.

So Nicolas (at least the way I'm doing him) is a contrast to that. I don't think he leans into the regality that attracts Lestat or Armand or feels a lack of care about his general appearance like Louis but rather leans into that 80's and 90's post-punk and goth subcultures. It's about looking distressed but in a way that is expressive of that darkness that tends to plague him. Leans heavily into 'everything is fucked so might as well look pretty' mixed with 'making something flawed makes it better because purity is that most heinous of sins, it's boring'.

I also think he tends to break taboo's around the vampire experience. They are by and largely neat eaters, after all, blood is sacred. I think neither are true with him, blood is something played with so he probably is the type to use his his nails and his teeth, run his fingers along it and lick them like he's just had ribs because it's grotesque and Not Done and that is something he loves to do.

I think he makes a point never to lie about who he is or what he is but given the era and how he looks, I think that's just accepted as part of his social identity.

I think he prefers to get lost in big cities, in raw art and performances much as Armand did but the more extreme, the better. (I bet he loves the half a cow) I think the main reason he hasn't been caught when it comes to bodies is because he tends to mutilate and stain the ground so it ends to look more like there's a serial killer on the loose. He probably loves the idea he has serial killer lore about himself.

I think ultimately he is a very messy sort of vampire, but he's not stupid. Just obsessive and driven to create, likely feasting on the very artists he likes because consuming them is an ultimate act but also sometimes just because he's left it too late and he Needs To Eat or because they look a little too much like a certain someone he doesn't really try thinking about.

Ultimately, this just makes him really fun and is part of the reason I do want to continue the Nicki Lives series when I've got some time.

Vamptember, maybe?

#rainbow rambles #this is just me talking into the void about my characterisation decisions #nicolas de lenfent #nicki lives au #to add later: armand's ferocity also gets echoed in nicki which is why they're a fun twisted ship

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lehdenlaulu · 1 year

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lestat and armand for the ship meme if you havent gotten em already because OBVIOUSLY!

Yasssss. I counted on you. 😆

Okay, these might be a little obvious, but here goes:

who’s the cuddler:

I feel like both of them are. And while Louis and Daniel for example accept their clinginess without complaint, I feel like with each other – once they got over themselves – it would be like... limbs tangled, fingers entwined or threaded into hair, faces nuzzled into crooks of necks, as close as physically possible. A whole-ass vampire Gordian knot. You know?

who makes the bed:

Armand. Lestat, bless his black little heart, is 100% a slob.

who wakes up first:

Hmm. Armand. He probably stays snuggled into Lestat for a good while, though.

who has the weird taste in music:

C'mon, anything weird is Armand's domain. Lestat loves music and gamely tries to be as adventurous as possible, but Armand still manages to hyperfixate on some obscure Peruvian doom metal that is played almost entirely on pan flutes or something and Lestat has to admit defeat.

who is more protective:

ARMAND. I mean, it's not that Lestat doesn't have sometimes even somewhat patronizingly protective feelings towards Armand, but... Canonically, not only is he Lestat's own personal guardian devil (come on, he even met Daniel because he trespassed on Lestat's resting place), he'll happily tear the head off anyone who even looks at any of his loved ones wrong, and probably use their skulls as decoration as well. Maybe eat their soul for good measure, you never know with him.

who sings in the shower:

Lestat. Obviously.

who cries during movies:

Lestat is a world-famous champion weeper, but I bet there's something completely unexpected that will get Armand misty-eyed. Or not so unexpected. Maybe he has cried once or twice while watching Blade Runner. Maybe he can relate.

who spends the most while out shopping:

Hmm. I feel like Lestat, an extravagant extrovert, enjoys the act of shopping more, but Armand is just as good if not better at burning money on things (and then abandoning them or forgetting they exist).

who kisses more roughly:

Huh. I don't think there's a clear-cut answer to this one. Their canonical kisses are all, IIRC, rather tender, sweet, or casual. I think Armand might get a bit more bitey, but not exactly rough, not with Lestat. 🤔

who is more dominate:

Again, there's no simple answer because their power dynamic is overall particularly complicated, nor do I think you can really separate the (semi-)sexual power dynamics from their overall power dynamics.

I mean, Armand is canonically a switch, and I always got the vibe from Lestat that he's probably too when it comes down to it. And then there's that whole aspect of odd mutual... deference, I could say, that has elements of worship. And I mean... Lestat looks a lot like Marius, which I'm sure initially absolutely messed with Armand's head, especially in those circumstances, so there's that. And Lestat on the other hand will probably always be a little bit in awe of Armand, in all meanings of the word. So I'll just say that it would probably take some time for them to find a balance that works for both of them.

my rating of the ship from 1-10:

Honestly, can I even give them anything but 10? I don't know if they were originally my 'favourite ship', as I think my teenage self sort of went "right, these guys don't operate by any traditional human relationship conventions so 'shipping' something would be a bit silly" (okay I did have a soft spot for Marius and Pandora, but I digress). But I'm sure I always found them fascinating. Because... come on. All hyperbole aside, who is doing it like them?? Two centuries plus of drama, devotion, and... defenestrations? I could say so much more and pull so many quotes, but let's just leave it with: "Does anyone else know the size of your soul?"

#Lestat x Armand #Armand x Lestat #Armand #Lestat de Lioncourt #does anyone else know the size of your soul?#The Vampire Chronicles #Darna talks TVC #q and a #defeateddetectives #ship meme #TVC headcanons #headcanons

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symphonyofmalice · 1 month

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Reflections on the show

So it's been a week since I finished Season 1, and I've had some time to reflect on it, read/watch other people's reactions, and gather my thoughts.

Actors great, characters inconsistent I want to say that all the actors were well-cast for the show. They did excellent work bringing the scripts to life. The trouble was, the writing sometimes had them playing wildly different characters. Sam Reid makes an excellent Lestat, when the script let's him play Lestat. Louis is sometimes philosophical, detached, and refined. Sometimes he's coarse, direct and irreverent. Yes, characters can change and no one is just one thing. But there was no clear arc, they seemed to flip-flop episode to episode. Lestat is sometimes recognizable as his impulsive, needy, theater-kid self, and sometimes he's a cold, calculating chessmaster. I want to be clear I do not expect the characters to be good people. These are vampires, and I expect them to act monstrously. But with book Louis, I have a basic idea how he might react to different situations- when he might be passive, when he might snap and act out, what might upset him and what he doesn't care about. This Louis? No idea. He's fine with eating humans until he isn't six years later, he'll delight without any hesitation in murdering people who made racist remarks, but is too squeamish to enact his own plan (because it's his now) to kill evildoers, in the modern day he no longer kills but gives the 'alpha predators' speech.

What did y'all do to the family dynamic In my initial reviews, I noted the 4th episode was the first that really felt like the Louis-Lestat-Claudia dynamic I expected. And I think it's because it's the only episode that didn't decide that Lestat just hates Claudia from the very beginning. All the other episodes lean hard into the idea that Lestat never wanted to make Claudia at all, is constantly happy when she leaves/trying to drive her away, wouldn't want her back if not for Louis, and is barely tolerating her very existence for Louis, and would hurt/kill her if he could. Now, in the books, their relationship obviously sours- she kills him, after all. But they do have a genuine love and respect, and it is in the hope of repairing the decaying relationship and 'making peace' that Lestat accepts her gift of poisoned blood.

Pick a lane/Easter eggs are not adaptation points I think a big reason the characters flip-flop around so much is that the show is trying to tell two stories. One is the story of a Jazz-age queer Black man discovering vampirism as a possible escape from the restraints of society. One is Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire, with it's plot beats of Louis, Lestat and Caludia. And since the first is pretty different from the second, anytime the show has to switch tracks, it introduces sharp turns and inconsistencies. The crew promised easter eggs for book fans and sometimes it seems like easter eggs are all there is. "Look, Lestat said Savage Garden! He mentioned his mastiff! Nicolas name drop!" which ended up feeling almost distracting. A metaphor for adaptations:

The original books: A black forest cake. Rich and dark and bittersweet. A classic that is iconic and famous, though definitely not for everyone.

The 1994 movie: A black forest cupcake. A little condensed, a little different. Smaller in size, so it's not the full experience. But in flavor and structure, it's a pretty close match for the original.

The musical: A black forest cocktail. Structurally, this is a very different experience. If you don't like cocktails/alcohol in general, than you probably don't want your cake in cocktail form. But if you do, then it's pretty decent! There's a clear attempt to get the essence of the taste across, and for some people (like me) it can be a wonderful way to immerse oneself in the same flavors in a different way.

QOTD movie: Cherry cheesecake that's gone bad/old. First of all this isn't even close to the original, and second of all you cared about it so little that it's gone sour and even people who might like cheesecake probably don't want this.

The show: Black forest (brand) gummy bears. This is clearly just a different thing. It can be really good as it's own thing! No having the brand-name black forest does not make it the same. No, it doesn't particularly help that some of the gummy bears are cherry flavored and black forest cake also has cherries. No it would not help to dip the gummy bears in dark chocolate.

Let's not "secret good fourth Sherlock episode" ourselves I've seen some theories that the discrepancies in Season 1 are deliberate, due to unreliable narrators, or Armand's mental influence. The trailers for season 2 so far certainly seem to lean into that, with the repeated memory theming. It's possible they'll pull something off with this. But I'm also hesitant to accept it as a blanket excuse. Even if they do retcon some of these details later...why? How is that any better than an "it was all a dream" excuse? Why should I, as a viewer, remain emotionally invested in the show if, at any moment, I could be told none of that happened? Twists and reveals can be good, but they can't be everything. 'Don't worry, season 2 will explain season 1' is not very promising for season 1 as a story.

Concerns about Season 2 I'm going to watch season 2. I have to, the same way I watched the QOTD movie knowing I'd dislike it. I'm curious to see what they do, and if nothing else, I might get some Nicolas images out of it. From what I've seen of Joseph Potter, I believe he can act Nicolas very well...if the script lets him. I'm also concerned about escalation. Everything in blood and violence was dialed up to 11. In the books, Lestat hits Louis (when Louis interrupts his feeding on Freniere) in the show, it's an extended beating. He punches through the priest's brains, and drops Louis out of the sky. In discussion with someone, I described this as "Lestat acting like Armand" since that kind of roof-dropping is literally a thing Armand does. And if they keep Armand's role as the 'villain' of IWTV/TVL, I'm concerned to what levels of extremity they'll have to push him in comparison.

#ooc #Vyt watches AMC #amc iwtv #amc interview with the vampire

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mejomonster · 2 years

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I have been listening to Interview with the Vampire audiobook since hey the amc show is in October and I missed the vampire chronicles and

1 I forgot so much of the later half of book, my memory really means things are brand new after like 3 years ToT rip

Im very much appreciating that it was a big book to switch to telling a vampire story from vampires pov, which I realize now I do appreciate a lot and it's probably why now I enjoy when monster stories decide to go monster pov route

Hearing that it was sort of a historical fiction (from maven of the eventides lovely youtube videos) so much clicks into place. How Louis is a symbol for his generation of rebellion and feeling he doesn't fit, feeling so Much. How all the vampires personalities and traits to some degree serve as historical parallels or references to feelings of a time/place/attitude, how a lot of the settings and general plot showcases location and daily life. Yes it's vampires, but it's also just 2 dudes living in New Orleans, then 2 dudes having a daughter they spoil in New Orleans, then 1 dad and his kid traveling Europe and eventually settling in Paris. The kills of the vampire life are occasionally focused on but it's like... mostly everyday life scenes with a vampire twist and historical setting showcased. Armand and Louis conversation in the tower with Armand saying how Louis is attractive and desirable for BEING an embodiment of rebellion and feelings and change really hammered that home for me. It's an aspect I like a lot about the novel that I barely noticed let alone appreciated the first time I read.

The narrator pronounces Louis the English instead of French way, which I just can't get used to lol cause the movie imprinted on me ToT so that's the funniest thing to me in the audiobook

I have come to appreciate how much vampires get written as sort of creatures Separate to human. Yes Louis sometimes views becoming a vampire as a dark gift/curse, but overall there's vampire stories that treat vampires like dead versions of their alive selves with magic aspects. Then ivtw treats it more like: theyre alive so long as vampires, personality evolving with time as expected, that their vampire life is like a New Life as a New Creature. A creature who sees diffetent, eats different, feels differently, and wonders in its lonely life if there's other creatures and what their own meaning of existing is. It's like humans in the sentience, but a new species of animal wondering what their purpose is and their morals are or should be or what society is or should be and if there's god and if humans are equal to them in worthiness, or if a human to them is like a mouse or ant to a human, which is to say so much less in the consideration of sentience some humans don't much think about if they accidentally step on an ant or if their dog manages to eat a mouse at least not to the degree of thinking it's a huge crime. I have seen some vampire stories go more this route as it feeling a wholly new creature, and others swing opposite and make vampires feel very much like humans still but cursed/altered (like Shadowhunters, and my own writing usually).

Louis has awful taste in men lol. This is subject to change if future books make Lestat seem better (as I never finished future books lol), but like. My dude Louis gets hitched with who he thinks is a dull gold digger, for some reason doesn't break up though. Then when his lover "dies" he keeps mooning over him with longing like Louis! A little late to recognize u liked him a bit! Then u like Armand, who couldn't care less if ur dear Claudia dies. And u really say u love him! Wow Louis, worldliness really appeals to u huh. If Lestat talked about great thoughts and mused over it despite u know, knowing nothing like Armand doesn't truly know much either, u would think Lestat was charming way earlier dude! Louis is the example of that person who likes an emo guy singing in a band cause "he seems so deep mom" but then given a similar guy who doesn't sing is like ugh he's so uncreative and bland and material. When it's like Louis honey get to know both ur jumping to a lot of I Love You conclusions after so little time ToT.

#rant #ivtw #im having fun #the audiobook got me into regular reading too so ive read like 100k chinese characters this week!#also i would say. ues the books are gay.#louis definitely means love love Armand. at least to #the degree of what love means to vampires in this story universe #which is like i said. a different creatures concept od love.#but irs still overall like: desire to be the companion. enjoy time together and holding each other. want to #stay together and have each others company and share experiences together.#so yeah louis likes armand thays just book 1 lol #and louis liked lestat but didnt deal witj it til lestat '#died* then still didnt deal with it. typical louis ajjsjd

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almateantales · 4 months

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An unsent letter.

(Inside a well-secured case, a number of pages fall upon breaking its spell. The paper pages look in perfect condition, despite the worn out appearance of everything else)

Date: April 3rd (no year).

Hello Yazmin… Or Yamn, I guess you’d like your nickname better. It's the end of the year and I find myself writing to you, a letter never to be sent. See, I’ve been thinking of something lately. About the past, and wondering if things could have gone better back then.

I recall that day more often than not, the seconds awaiting for the texts and explanations, the way you stumbled around your words as you made your point. I could tell you were nervous, and I was too. I let myself wonder sometimes how much of what happened afterwards could’ve been avoided, had the circumstances been different. It's been eating at my mind lately.

Years have passed now, and I see you remain as kind as ever. You've come so far too, it makes me proud to be around you after all this time. You have a life companion in Maerin, and as far as I've seen you're happy with Nive and Louis as well. I was surprised when I found out about Louis's participation, but I learned that you were not together and only formed a relationship with the same person, an axis. That's great, and I'm happy for you.

Still, when I found out I felt so… Strange.

I thought it was because of Louis, maybe I didn't move past my feelings for him after all? But that couldn't be it. While I would’ve liked someone like him as a partner in the past, it wasn't the end of the world if he didn't return my affections— It's been years, I moved on.

So why would I care about this situation, then? Thinking and trying to figure this out only made me more and more confused. Maybe I am just lying to myself and still like him after all? Jealousy isn't something to be ashamed of after all; it would be pathetic on my part, but emotions are nonsensical like that sometimes, right?

But I knew that wasn't it. I looked at a picture of them together, and didn't feel a thing. Not even a sign of envy, heartbreak or disappointment. If anything I felt happy looking at it, reading the description saying how happy he was with the love of his life. So it just wouldn’t make sense to say I’m jealous if that’s what’s crossing my mind, right?

Keeping that last thought in mind, I went to your profile to see a similar picture, of you and Nive happily embracing each other, you were giving her a kiss on her cheek while she laughed with joy. It was the perfect photo really, you both look so happy to be together…

That should've felt the same way as with Louis, but. It didn't.

Implications were now messing with my mind. How is that possible? It doesn't make sense, why now? Now that you've moved on with your life, and so much time passed. It feels unfair and cruel… It doesn't make sense! I rejected you saying I wasn't attracted to women. Then I spent half my teenage years infatuated with this boy who's now my best friend, got rejected and over it. I even had other relationships through the years. So why?

It isn't fair, neither for me nor for you. If I was you, I would feel insulted— the way I rejected you and left was awful, and now I dare to feel jealous of your loving, happy relationship? What kind of person am I? This feels so wrong and just… I don't know. Unfair, I guess. I feel stupid thinking about how long this has been going on without me noticing, nevermind the fact that I might be bisexual. Have I ever been attracted to other women? Was it only you? I can feel myself spiraling the more I think about that as well. I’d rather not.

The thought “I don’t know what to do now” crossed my mind for a moment, but I know there’s nothing for me to do in this situation, not really. Things should stay as they are, and you don't deserve to be bothered by something like this. I just needed to write about it, to get it out of my system in some way. You were right, this does help.

I’ll just keep writing if I feel like this again. As you said one time, I promise I will not let this burden you. You are still very dear to me.

I think that’s all I can say for now. I hope you keep living your life to the fullest, as happy as you deserve. I will be cheering on you from the sidelines.

-S.P.

#Seehra Pierce #Yamn Wintar #Unsent letters #Almatia #Long post #(The longest post actually... I'll edit it later)#(sorry lmao)

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kingdomsqueendomkimgme · 1 year

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Long live the king - Louis x reader pt.2

This is part 2. I really hope yall like it ^^

Word count: 2247

Kingdom Masterlist

Pt.1

Louis Pov.

We all were ahooked when our enemies got send flying and knocked out from her powers. //she can't control them which means she doesn't know anything about them..// we all turned to her looking if she was alright only to run towards her to stop her from hitting the ground. I used my time control to stop time and get faster to her. After I let time go normal again, I catched her just before her head could hit the ground.

"Should we bring then to the Hotel or should we take them to the Palace?" Dann asked. I picked the girl up "we'll bring them to the Palace, it's to dangerous to let then stay at the hotel." I said. And added "and Mujin, Jahan. Please get their things from the hotel, they'll stay at the palace for the time being" both of them nodded and made their way to the Hotel. While the rest of us took both of them back to the Palace.

Time skip next day in the Palace.

We brought everyone of them in their own rooms and I ordered each 4 guards to watch them.

I was awake the whole night. Thinking about possible ways to find out how much of Jaehyns people are here. //damn we need to keep them save. And now that they have their proof that she's the one their searching for its even more dangerous... why do I care about that??..// I sighted, run a hand over my face and looked out the window..... // I need to ask Dann what that feeling is.. sometimes I really hate my dad for raising me like this...// I got up and got charged, just as I was about to leave my room the door banged open "she's awake sir." The guard said. I looked at him " Ok I'll be right there" He nodded and disappeared again. // I'll ask Dann later about it.// I went to her room and knocked. I silent 'come in' came and I stepped in the room. Two of our maids helped her sitting up "Good morning your majesty, she weaker then we thought she would be. She can barely walk on her on. We helped her change out of the clothes from yesterday and helped her cleaning herself. We'll go and make her breakfast." They both putted the last cushions behind her back, bowed to both of us and left.

"How are you feeling?" I stepped closer to the bed and sat on the chair next to it " it's ok, I just feel so tired but I can't sleep. And I have a light headache" she smiled at me "Thank you for saving me" //shes so pretty and her smile is cute. What am I thinking?// I smiled slightly back "no need to thank us, btw what is your name?" She looked at me titled her head slightly. "OH I'm really sorry.. my name is Y/N, Y/N L/N" "pretty name. Fits you" she blushed looked down to her hands. I chuckled. Just as I was to say something else someone knocked the door "Your majesty ? Y/N ? Can we come in we have the breakfast finished. " "You can come in" I said, stood up and opened the door for them since I know they tend to slightly make to much food for one person or also in general. And as I thought it's more of a buffet for 10 people then for one. "You know she probably won't eat that much." One of them turned to me and smiled "oh its not just for her, it's also for you your majesty, since her best friend was awake earlier then her he already got breakfast" I nodded and went to the chair next to her bed again. The build up a bedtable so she would have to leave bed while I stayed at the table next to the bed.

As they have sat the last plate down, I dismissed them and they left the room again.

"That is really a lot" I heard next to me. " That's normal. You don't have to eat everything, the rest will be Givin for the breakfast round for those people on town who can't afford as much as we do, so there won't go anything to waste." She looked at me and smiled again "I really wish it be everywhere like this" with that she began to eat and so did I.

The breakfast was one of the nicest I've had in a long time shes really bubbly which is a change from most of the other people I've met. As we talked about a lot of things one thing got my attention the most which was her interest in History, myths, rumors and fairytales of different cultures. That's also when I found out the truth about their lost being the day before. " and ill be honest with you we didn't really got lost, we found something that I wanted to know if it was true. But he definitely hadn't the intention to break thing or steal things." I was first confused " what do you mean by that.? What exactly did you find?" She then took out a old letter and handed it me. "I Asked the maids to give me the letter from my backpack before. I don't like lying to people especially since you saved my life." I looked at the letter then back at her " There is something described in the letter and I wanted to know if it's true." She looked down.

I opend the letter after a few more seconds of looking at her. I read the letter and then realized what letter it was " how did you get that letter" she looked at me now fear in her eyes. Yes I was angry but not at her. "W-we got that from Birans dad, his dad has gotten the letter from a friend of his" I took a deep breath "first of all sorry I didn't mean to scare you and secondly the letter got stolen a few weeks ago. It was never supposed to leave the Palace.. if not you but someone else would have gotten their hands on the letter we all would be in deep trouble." I ran a hand trough my hair. And watched her closely, she relaxed again. "I'm sorry.." she mumbled and looked down. "It's ok, I mean you didn't knew. " I reached out to her and padded her head. She looked up at me and in that moment I knew I still had a heart because it broke at the sight of her crying. I sad down on the bed next to her "Hey why are you crying?" I looked in her eyes " I- it's just that since I lost my parents everything I do is wrong in everyone's eyes.... and it's even worse when I do mistakes like this..." I was shooked at least to say " It's not your fault, and I'm not mad I promise" she nodded and I took her in my arms where I rested my head kn top of hers..//seems like she's been trought a lot...// " you don't ever need to be scared of me ok?" I felt her nod. I held her for a long time more.

She fell asleep again so I laid her down and put the blanket over her. I made sure to call the guards back and the maids to clean her room.

After that I went off to find Dann and ask him about what feeling I was having when I'm with her.

Time skip evening.

Y/N Pov.

I woke up and looked around. I was still in the room, I must have fallen asleep again. I thought about what happend and blushed madly. //oh shit...that's do embarrassing... but I felt comforteble with the king... weird I know...// I took a look out of the window.. It was slowly getting dark... I looked at my phone which charged on the nightstand. 05.37pm.... //theres no way im going back to sleep...// I stood up, feeling how my legs didn't really have any strengh, I still kept going, I had a really bad feeling and wanted to see King Louis. I slowly opened the door and saw that the guards wheren't there. //no no no thats bad really bad...// Panic began to slowly run trough my veins.. //shit. shit, shit. I need to find him.// I tried to walk faster and it worked, probably because of the adrenaline. I saw a door slightly open. At this point I was already running. and the figure that has been standing infront of one of the windows didnt do any help to my Panic and fear. I heard two voices, one that I didn't know and //Louis!// I reached for the door and then I felt super light headed //Now I know why I was told to stay in bed fuck// Again I fell, just this time I stayed conscious, bad thing I fell trought the door and it banged open. I couldn't move to see who was in the room so I stayed on the floor.

"Y/N!!!" I heard foodsteps coming closer. I felt two arms pulling me slightly up. "Why aren't you in bed, how you were told to??!!" he was angry i could tell even thought he spoke calmy the tone in his voice showed that he was anrgy. "Louis calm down and maybe at least get her on a chair insted of letting her on the cold floor" The other one spoke //Damns their all pretty handsome wtf// Louis liftet me up and put me on one of the couch chairs in the room.

"Dann can you please close the door?" The other nodded and did what Louis asked him for. Dann also gave me a glass of water and Louis a blanket, then both of them got a better look on me and their eyes widden in shook "Y/N what happend? why are you so paniced?" Dann asked I looked at him both of them crouched down on each side of the chair. "I- there was no one in front of my door and there was wśomeone at the window. I got scared and yeah..." I looked down at the glass "Wait there was no on infront of your door?" Louis asked and i shook my head. "Wait, there were supposed to be two gurads." Dann said and looked at Louis. "Could you make anything out what the person from the window looked like or did you see something that you remember?" I tought "He had something red on but I couldn't see more. " Dann nodded "I go get the others to search for the guards and maybe some glues on who that was. It would be better if she'd stay with you for this night" He clealry ment it more as an order then a request but Louis agreed with him. With that Dann went out of the room closing the door behind him. now i was alone with Louis. "I'm sorry..." I looked at the glass again. "It nohing to be sorry about you helpt us finding the traitors." "But now i have to stay here and I'll defenetly be a bother to you." he looked at me confused "Your not a bother to me" I looked up. "I'm not? Are you sure?" He smiled and nodded "I'm 100% sure" I smiled at him. "So are you hungry?" "No not really.. But I'm also not tired" He stood up from his crouched position next to me and went to his book shelfe... "I know your intersted in the history of this Castle and town so if we really won't go to sleep today, I figured we can just read some of the books that were written a few thousend years ago, their still in very good condition so you don't need to worry about breaking one of them unless you use a lot of strength. " He chuckeld //I wish he would laught a bit more it sounds so good and suits him more then this cold face expretion he has all the time.// I smiled "That sounds nice" He came back with a few books "Here this aren't all of them but I think for now it should be alright" I looked at the books with sparkling eyes "Which onr do you want to read first?" I Looked at the books and a red one catched my eyes, I pointed at it and he handed it to me. "You seem to like dark red pretty much" He smiled, I looked up "Yes its my favorite color" His smile grew a bit bigger "Nice choice". He picked me up and walkeed over to his Kings size bed. After he putted me down he went into the bthroom the was for the room. After he came back he had normal clothes on and set down next to me. "Are you ok with me being here or do you want me to sit on the chair?" I looked at him " Of couse its ok. Why shouldn't it be?" He shurged "Maybe you would feel uncomfofŕtable? IDK" He mde himselfe comfortable and I scutted a bit closer to him. We made ourselfes comfortable and began to read the book at some parts I asked him questions too undertsand it better and he always explaint everything for to me.

#kingdom arthur #kingdom chiwoo #kingdom dann #kingdom ivan #kingdom jahan #kingdom louis #kingdom mujin #kingdom x reader #kingdom reaction #kingdom hwon

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