#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littobin · 3 years

Text

sprung

genre: suggestive romantic stuff, with a tiny bit of angst

pairing: tattooist!moonbin x reader.

warnings: none ? just a minimal language, and kinda heavy making out... yeah

- summary: sanha, the well known skater, had an older brother. and maybe his best friend y/n was too in love to proper think.

a/n note: this is kinda long and emo, it's just my first time writing in this genre so hfjbfn sorry in advance. gender neutral, also for a special friend who encouraged me to post on her birthday. planning on do stuff for the other boys soon. :)

...

[1:02AM]

putting a bit of effort into it you open your eyes, tired after waking up from what felt like a long nap.

your head still was unsettled, confused, looking around the place you found yourself at. by some point then you manage to recognize the living room and the nice sofa on which you were lying, such things from nothing less nothing more than the comfy, simple house of your best friend, sanha.

honestly no matter how much you tried to recall it on your mind, nothing reminded you of what could have happened for you to wake up there. despite how it was already one habit of yours to often visit this house where the tall, half black half blonde haired boy used to greet you in with his bubbly smile several times, and of course with his extra peculiar style, ripped pants, bandaids and chaotic printed t-shirts you always thought to be funny.

to be friends with a professional skater since high school days wasn't so bad, after all sanha was indeed one of a kind, such a mature and high spirited boy. he was such a nice goofball, always ready to talk about any topic, share taste on music or learn new things, the actual opposite of what people say about someone like him. sanha has always been an amazing friend, making you feel comfortable and your days a lot lighter every time you went to see him after dealing with responsibilities.

whether your short visits were to spend some time for both of you to help each other with things about studies or just when you missed spending time with him, you were already a common guest. for textbooks and notes purposes or for when it'd all turn into laughs, popcorn and your best friend's favorite games, or even in skate competitions he used to bring you with him at the square down street.

or else, when you'd also come to secretly see the black haired handsome man always on his casual clothes living there with your friend, who at the time he was home would stay sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes doing his works outside at the small desk near the garden, sometimes practicing sketches in his own room.

sanha introduced him as his older brother bin, who unlike him was a lover of all kinds of arts. whom you shouldn't pay so much attention to, but before your mind could go against it all of your thoughts were just as they ended up. constantly filled with him, with the need to see him everyday.

however now instead of going on trying to figure out any other possibilities to what could've brought you there, or even letting your thoughts wander over sanha's brother again, you hear calm footsteps approaching and immediately close your eyes, burying yourself on the sofa's recline. there you pretend to be still asleep, yet not understanding why your first reaction was like this, if it could be just your best friend.

for a few minutes the atmosphere remains monotonous, but soon enough turns tense as you feel someone come too close. two strong muscular arms embrace you carefully, bringing a sweet smell of shampoo you instantly could recognize so well. since the time when, in a game match with your best friend and his brother, both you and sanha attacked him with tickles for being the loser, as a form of punishment. you'd never forget it, for how it was your very first time hearing bin's boyish giggles, and touching his so silky, smooth hair, like a thin fabric tinted by the late night hues.

all of this together sent your heart pounding madly, already knowing who was there with you, especially when his jaw's downy skin brushes against your face for the proximity. at first he made a kind of awkward attempt to put you into his arms, in a position you could be carried comfortably. after one more try he gets to pick you up, and just when he easily manages to hold you firmly in bridal style, taking you off the couch like a light plush on his arms, nervousness started taking over you in silence as you couldn't assimilate where he planned to carry you to.

albeit a bit sudden at times and without much control of his own strength, except when you saw him drawing extremely detailed lines with his tattoo needle for customers at the studio he worked in, to where once sanha took you to bring him lunch, albeit he was too broad and intimidating, and his own homemade food didn’t always come out good for that little rough way of his no matter how hard he tried to do something thinking of you and sanha, albeit it all bin was always too gentle, too loving. it was so much whenever he'd open his mouth to talk with such sweetness and even a tiny bit of timidity to express his thoughts, even though how excellent he is with words, all of his little 'eh?'s when he'd be confused or cute neck scratches, you'd never believe he'd be a professional tattooist for years. he could normally work for all kinds of people, from madams to rockers, and do any type of drawings, from small daises to pretty complicated dragons and skulls. you'd have no clue of it if sanha didn't tell you, also about the fact bin always wanted to be a dancer, but because it was just the two of them and life tends to adapt itself according to necessities, he never thought about doing tattoos, yet casually came to work on it with time.

outside his job bin always took good care of his younger brother, though the troubles sanha would occasionally cause or how mischievous he could be even with him, and bin had to hit his head sometimes. all of his gestures were always docile, humble, treating you as if he was also a friend, and always being a real gentleman. not mentioning the countless times he had his crescent moons smile on up his eyes, just utterly enchanting.

all of this inevitably got you even more lovestruck, and your heart weak, no matter how hard you tried to muffle down those feelings. bin remained as the only man whose your mind and its daydreams for hours never grew tired of, the only one who gave new colors to your days. the more you knew him the more you were sure you couldn't be in any other way than hopelessly in love with him, too affected whenever he'd be around.

before you'd notice it you were thinking about this, about all you kept hidden inside for him. so you just settled yourself to forget what would be going on and let him believe you were really asleep, although in fact tension ran down your nape feeling his body's warmth, heat uncontrollably up your face while you leaned against his large chest.

after a few minutes of more footsteps sounds on stairs and doors opening through he carried you, bin stops at a certain point, slowly placing you carefully over another soft material, which you deduced to be of a bed.

you held yourself static, thinking he'd soon leave you there to rest and go, as you figured out sanha's brother probably would do so by his cordiality. nevertheless almost all at once you were simply taken aback when the male leaned on the bed, and slowly on top of you. his elbows and one knee supported him over, in such a way that made you too weak under his figure covering yours up, as if he was like a huge brown bear in charge. shivers hardened your shoulders, as you feel a heavier breath against your face.

"i know you're awake." he says softly, yet his characteristic boyish voice sounding way huskier than normally. you instantly open your eyes in disbelief over what you've heard, and just so your cheeks turns crimson, realizing how both of you were just few centimeters apart. his stunning almond eyes sparkled brightly into the room, dark and hooded while staring deeply at you. every one of his features on his manly face were lined on a serious expression, seeming concentrated, but almost fatal.

"bin.." all you could do was just mutter his name sheepishly over embarrassment, only to get a sigh from him in response. "shh..." his index finger lightly touches your mouth, tracing its tip to the corner of your lips, your hands starting to sweat cold just by the small contact with his digits.

bin then suddenly towered over you, without removing his intense brown irises from yours and rests his arms around your face, so his long fingers would now caress your hair. solely in this move his body quickly cornered you on the bed by his height. butterfly swarms rush into your stomach, as for a few minutes both of you kept quiet, staring intently at each other.

you swallowed hard. any trivial action like breathing now seemed dull, with him there so close to you as never. bin was like the definition of being drop dead gorgeous, every detail, every fiber of him exuded beauty, to almost seem unreal. through these few seconds watching him you couldn't keep your eyes from wandering, over each one of them. his thin, dainty rosy lips, which looked a little swollen, begging for another one's touches. black hair strands resembling the universe's dark matter hovering messy on his slightly sweaty forehead, and over his expressive frowned eyebrows. soft, milky skin which became a little more flushed as he stared at you, thick neck exposed by his t-shirt colar, wide shoulders covered by his cardigan tucked on his elbows.

oh everything about him was, so breathtaking.

although you couldn't understand why he was doing this, for how in your head you wondered why such an attractive man like him, who anyone would want to have, was there looking this way at someone so simple, still you couldn't hold back such things he made you feel. too many things screaming for you to let them out. and it was just the same for him.

"you know what.. damn it.." you heard bin break down the silence with a shaky whisper, and before you'd realize or question anything he placed your noses together in a soft brush and collided your lips with his eagerly, both of you sighing in the contact.

fear still was the main emotion taking over you, even though you closed your eyes right away and gave in to him, millions of beautiful sensations coursing through your veins at once. you simply didn't have any idea on how to act, what you should do in the first place all because of the frozen state his attitude caused, something you'd hardly come up with in your dreams by how far out of your reach you thought it'd be. however now you just put everything aside, gradually melting away with your knees getting weaker, as you felt bin kissing you in an irresistibly slow, delicate way.

not even through any of your deductions with yourself you'd imagine these little things which had your heart to almost explode now, that his nose would be so soft, and his lips would taste so sweet, velvety in their texture extremely hot and moist, pressing and moving gently as if they were massaging yours. easily you were found anesthetized, like one who reaches the ninth cloud. when they started to move more, just a bit hungrier between small sucks created by him and nibblings on your lower lip, you began to gradually further correspond them into the kiss, wherein he lets out quiet sounds, his pulsations so out of control and his cheeks burning red just as, or perhaps even more than you.

bin was still trying to not lose his composure. still trying to keep the feelings he had hidden for you from being all poured out at once, like a waterfall.

since the first time when sanha introduced you to him as his best friend, after he came home from a rough day at work. since then when you smiled saying your name and he could sense flowers blooming all over his chest, stealing the air on top of his lungs. to every time you locked eyes for too long or your hands accidentally touched his when you'd volunteer to help him in the kitchen. every little conversation, every time you patted his shoulders to encourage him when his brother would as well, never looking intimidated, like most people he knew.

he didn't want to show each drop of his honesty so fast in case you wouldn't flinch, but it was too hard when he had you there kissing him back, only the two of you in this moment, feeling you not repress him but otherwise, just wanting his touches as much as he's been longing for yours. he couldn't help but lose his mind more and more into each of your small actions. your hands timidly plugged on his waist, almost embracing it while his warm, long fingers intertwined with your hair strands, that somes mixed a little in his bangs, or your leg unconsciously poking his. in a way that without noticing bin tightened his arms more around you as well as the pressure of his chest, looking for more and more closure to you.

it didn't take long until the male would part his lips like a bud's petals, and so you shudder with his hot tongue there rubbing your lower lip, asking for entrance. you just give in not even being able to think through all the flustering this new sensation sent on you, and bin slowly deepened the kiss, making it fulfilled by all the so suffocated attachment you had for each other.

little by little his tongue slides in intertwining with yours, as the first thing hitting you was the fresh flavor of his chocolate mint cereal bar, which you were used to always see on bin's hands or pockets, and it just added an even better feeling through you explored his mouth. plenty more touches come up between the two of you so that the male, after staying still in the same position for a little while, suddenly slides one of his arms down. his huge veiny hand grips firmly and gives light squeezes on your side what caused you to jump a few times, running it down in a path of pure shivers to your hips, until he catches your hand still on his waist and without any previous warning pulls it in, under his shirt.

air immediately hitched on your throat out of shock, but bin was immersed, focused on only feeling you more. in the intervals his tongue's tip traced your mouth tilting his head for access, and when he brought it back so he'd press and gently suck your lips with his, the male kept the pace guiding your hand on his large back. slowly he also brought it down to the point of his firm, built up abdomen, which caused chills on himself, and moved your palm to make contact with the warmth of his absurdly soft, fragile bare skin inside the fabric. uncontrollable pulsations took over you the moment you get access to this new touch, your head in a fog of only bin.

this one was indeed a little different from the docile person you knew, with his contagious smile behind gloves and a tattoo needle you were so used to see. instead bin showed to be such an intense man, and why not say sexy, full of alluring gestures you didn't know how to handle, solemnly irresistible. over an impulse you make up a little of courage and start moving your hands by yourself, caressing and feeling his muscles, that have always been apparent on his manly athletic body, as each of his proportions under the shirt.

"god.." he suddenly said under his breath in a way sounding too sensual from his gracious, still husky voice among the kiss, melting completely in sensitivity and a cardiac mess because of you. bin then pressed a few more pecks a few more times on your lips, not wanting to pull away but doing so already for running out of air, through both of you parted trying to catch it.

yet you fail miserably, as soon as you see your best friend's brother face, completely flushed and breathless. his coffee colored eyes dripped fondness and loads of tiny stars all together, eyebrows pressed in such a lovely, affectionate expression you swore you never saw anything so endearing in your life. if it wasn't for another beat skipping your chest when you noticed a small amount of saliva, that you could clearly define as traces of the wonderful kiss of a few seconds ago, in the corner of his mouth.

as soon as he notices your widened eyes, bin's face changes and he cleans it by licking his lips seductively, as if he knew how much it affected you. the cardigan he wore falls from over his shoulders and he removes the cloth piece, dropping it on the floor. a small smile sprouted on his captivating features when he looks over at you watching him, as he lowered himself to your neck, putting his lips near your ear.

"keep going.." bin closed his eyelids, feeling the characteristic and comforting smell of fabric softener on your clothes. this smell which he always had on his memories from that day he shyly hugged you on your birthday, that now made him ask sweetly into whispers for your hands on him again, pressing more of his fine body and chest against yours.

his hips suddenly rolled down in a slow move, stimulating waves of electricity and adrenaline onto your stomach, your state now broke into sighs. you squeezed his waist slightly and involuntarily, moved by your latent feelings as he nuzzled against your neck, like a fluffy cat purring. bin was panting still heavily, sending incessant shivers down your spine.

"bin... you.. you're too much.." losing any lasting control over yourself you buried your face deeply on his shoulder and grabbed his huge biceps, letting out any first thing that would come out of your mind.

he smiled against your skin with a muffled chuckle, light and content for how cute you sounded to him, what got you even weaker as well as over the moisturizer perfume on his exposed collarbones by his shirt, before you went to fulfill his request. soon enough your palms were all over his muscular back once more, massaging them in up and down movements. bin took time to appreciate the feeling of having you into his arms, touching your hair, your nape, your lower back, or your cheeks where he decided to put gentle, tender kisses, that got you forgetting even more about the destination of your fingers under his shirt.

they ran all over his torso, sides, down to his beautiful abdomen once again to trace trembling patterns with your fingers under his stomach, running them up to reach the area of his chest, where you accidentally touch one of his nipples. bin stopped when he felt the stimulus, letting what sounded like a frustrated moan resonate in response, and you move your hands right away. yet you didn't expect him to feel so flustered to the point of, having his weight against you, to this time start distributing wet kisses, full of desire onto your neck and jaw.

in the middle of them bin took pauses where he sucked some of your skin to mark it slightly, or moistened each sensitive spot he left with the way too warm texture of his tongue. his hands also return to be entirely over you, one putting stronger, breath taking grips and squeezes on one side of yours as the other entered under the hem of your sweatshirt, his thumb touching your belly's area. each thing he did left you helplessly more and more of a mess for him, while his hips gave another roll once again in an enticing motion, causing you to feel an inevitable friction you tried to ignore but his moves only made it harder and harder, between his thighs wrapped tight by his jeans and yours pressed in the middle of his from jumping so much with his touches.

"sanha, saw you fell asleep, and asked me to take you to a room.. i went to see you and heard, you mutter my name.. saying that you wanted to have me..." for a moment, your eyes widen in realize, and finally you get how you were there.

your mind gets back remembering how sleepy you were before you'd come to see sanha, something which was again the result of another pulled night thinking about life, studies, and about bin constantly, about how incredible would it be if you had the courage to confess to him. but before you could even die of embarrassment for letting your dreams go too high right at your bestfriend's house, right next to him, bin slowly brings another trail of his warm kisses up your neck, eliciting quiet whimpers from you this time, especially when he stroked your waist skin inside your sweatshirt and reached for your earlobe, instantly capturing it in his mouth to suck on the small cartilage.

"do it now.. do whatever you want." you heard him confess with a bit of difficulty on his tone, for the much any response from you for now would mean to him. therefore he stopped, pulling away as he looked at you with sad traces, insecure.

bin needed to know about you, to get a reassurance from you, one more time of you expressing fully whether you were in love with him as much as he was with you to let yourself stay with him more, or if not, as hard as it could be he'd stop there, despite how reciprocal everything was from your side. he didn't want just a make out with you.

uncertainties still bothered him inside, through several sleepless nights spent on his room's desk among all his draft drawings and work notes, but thinking of the stupid, probably one sided attachment he developed for you, growing everyday because of how regularly he could see you. way too quickly you stole a space on his heart, bigger than the passion for art and colorful designs his job gave him. even when his needle did its work putting on pigment, when he found himself alone before a customer would come, he often wondered about what you'd feel, if you saw him only as your best friend's brother, if it'd be too risky to try and tell you what he felt.

there wasn’t one moment in 24 hours all of this didn't cross bin’s mind for once as the days went by, but he was too afraid of being rejected, to the point of thinking his brother could have much more chances with you. though he left all these things aside when he finally heard you demonstrating something for him as simple as saying his name on your sleep was, losing it all while he held you on his arms.

and so you knew you had to get all that fuss of feelings off your chest at once before the chance slipped from your hands. before you had no option but to go back to your routine of sinking in sighs about what could have been, wanting to be in his arms for a day, when you wanted it to be always.

taking a second to comprehend his eyes you raised your arms around the middle of his back to caringly engulf him on them. it caused bin to unhesitatingly lower himself again, resting his chin on your shoulder and hold onto your lower back, his heart rushing loudly, unsure by your action.

"i want what you want, love.." you confessed as well, still feverish for his previous caresses. then you just rested your face on his shoulder, and with all the sincerity within your heart you tightened your arms in a hug, trying to show your intention of making him feel exactly this, your simple embrace.

love.

as he heard you clearly when you hugged him, the moment you loosened the grip bin pulled his body a little away to look at you again. his serene, loving eyes flickered until they were deeply on yours, oceans overflowing with hope and anticipation into them. "did you say.. love?"

"yes, i.. always wanted to call you like that. can i?" your knees flutter with your own question, just by the idea of being able to call him as something that in so long would describe him so well for you.

bin, however, sighed till the bottom of his lungs, both now filled as everything within into a magical warmth, through every inch of his longing feelings were complete over his exhale. he wondered if he was dreaming, if this was finally the pure and graceful joy of touching clouds, or the lightness of blowing dandelions to the wind, of knowing that you felt the same, despite how he still couldn't believe it at all.

"you're so cute, i adore you so much y/n. if you say it like that, i'll be addicted to you.." the male's palm comes back to find itself cupping your cheeks, as his fingertips against your ear. once again you watch his fascinating gaze and face too close to yours, his irises, his lips to his shoulders, as if it turned into a new habit which would give you life. his voice sounds honeyed, like a blanket on winter, yet intimate, breathy.

almost as an immediate response you blinked repeatedly at the main three words on his first sentence, as of it didn't take long until you blushed violently trying to proccess everything, surprising bin while you placed your wrists at your nose's level to hide your face. you were now too caught up on a mixture of inexplicable waves of euphoria and emotions hitting you, too overwhelmed at all of these extremely heartfluttering things he just said so naturally. god, indeed he was too much to handle, but he still was your favorite.

"don't do this, fool! i adore you too.. a lot.." with your wrists still there your embarrassed expression only increase as you let out, but soon you moved them aside when the sound of his soothing laugh echoed into your ears. "wow.. i guess i'm the happiest fool now."

bin was smiling widely, grinning, perhaps in the most angelic, genuine way among all the days you've seen him do through routine. the crescent moons forming his beaming eyes harmonized as his lashes half closed with the curves on his lips up, giving room for two light dimples, forehead aligned with yours, emotions all over that you still couldn't read, as of relief and affection at the same time on his details. to hear him laughing in a tender and so spontaneous tone, his body seeming relaxed, comfortable, and to be a part of it almost like watching stars at midnight, all of this also made you smile along with him.

without being able to express too many feelings at once or what you'd like to say to him now you simply place your fingers against his face, the small, gelid earring on his ear, touching his bangs between them dearly, as if he'd be made of crystalline glass. another silence raised as you both kept looking at each other, like the night stopped passing around you, until bin draws another small smile and breaks the short distance again.

you took a deep breath, grabbing a certain spot on his shirt when you feel all the coziness of his thin lips pressing more kisses on different points of your face all slowly. on the area next to your nose where he placed the most of them, or on your mouth as he initiated another sweet, luscious round of lips on lips, pulling you closer and closer by your lower back, which seemed to be his best choice for a comfort zone.

but it doesn't take long for his attention to turn back to your neck, stopping to scan and softly trace his thumb on the small crimson hickeys he left there.

"some of them, look like tattoos... sorry, i.." bin whispered, trying to explain himself somehow embarrassed, but gets interrupted by you taking the initiative to hold on his back and get closer.

there you bury your face on his neck and kiss him gently, under his jaw to the beginning of his collarbones, as of every inch of his velvety skin flushed hot and sensitive in goosebumps where you explored. still being a bit taken aback bin shut his lashes and rested his cheeks now tinted in shades of pinkish hues against yours, disarmed by your suddenness. the more he felt your timid lips going so intimate on him, the more unrestrained beats and pantings had the best of him at that moment, bin no longer being able to maintain the same calm. you always had that power to leave him like that, definitely. the only one who ever did.

"there's something i always wanted.. but first tell me, if you want me by your side." one of his thick arms hug your waist, a barely audible moan escaping through he said out without thinking at all, just letting himself upon your guidance, locked on your touches.

the moment you proccess bin's words and what they'd mean your fingers slip from curling the silky strands at his nape, also leaving the curve of his shoulder where you planted more confident kisses, as if by magic your heart was sent on another unbalanced marathon. did he really ask it?

"of course.. of course i do." you answered his doubt with your whole chest, and it was all he ever waited to have you saying.

bin didn't know what exactly made him feel so lost on everything about you, wishing to stick to your side more and more. but he knew it was such a thing way too heavenly for him to not want to dive deep in. one drink, or a way too pure cup of water on thirsty times he'd last there appreciating till the last drop, a room wherein he'd feel better than in any other, or even a necklace he'd carry on himself everyday, a permanent tattoo.

any way it all should be, he wouldn't care. as of the moment he heard you a smile flourished across the corners of his lips again, and in a matter of minutes he held your sides pulling you with him as he sat back among the sheets, placing you onto him all too fastly and strongly in a way you had to look for support by putting your trembling palms on his chest.

you were left once more in a loss of words, swallowing hard over another wave of butterflies when you found yourself held sitting on his lap and facing him, through he gave you such a dangerously charming, sexy smirk, gaze so intense it almost knocked you dizzy like you never thought to be. yet less even would you imagine he'd strip off his t-shirt right in front of your eyes, and reveal his toned, absolutely perfect torso, all of his muscles there totally exposed from collarbones to his lower abdomen, where a black butterfly spreading its wings showed up printed on his skin at his side. bin just let your shocked eyes hover on the sight of his whole sculptural half naked body, before he'd glue your foreheads and squeeze your sides excitedly, also giving attention to your right thigh caressing and gripping it with his other hand through he adjusted you on his lap.

"everything i want is us, y/n..."

he couldn't wait to throw aside his stupid composure with you.

110 notes · View notes

kiriluvbot · 3 years

Text

hidden in the sand pt. i

in which feelings are discovered under early morning light.

—

i do not have a crush on shoto todoroki.

the boy in question takes a deep breath, muscled shoulders rising as he starts to shift. his head pops up, a mess of pink cheeks and disastrous, disgustingly endearing messy hair, and he squints at the light pouring in from the window.

all the air is knocked from sero’s lungs.

oh shit.

i have a crush on shoto todoroki.

yeah. this is that story.

—

you’ve heard a thousand love stories told a thousand different ways, with teary eyed confessions on a battlefield or explosive professions of adoration under a moonlit sky, but this story, however, is not that story at all.

this is a story of an extended hand, a knowing smile, a spot saved on the couch. it’s bumping shoulders in the hall, eye contact in a dark room, whispers over the phone. it’s one boy who never quite learned how to love, and one who has an abundance of love to share.

it’s learning how to be gentle, how to accept gentleness. it’s falling slowly, smoothly, oblivious.

it’s doing something completely mundane, like reading manga at one in the morning on a school night. it’s hearing a muffled bit of laughter, it’s catching the light in their eyes, it’s seeing a special smile they’ve reserved only for you, and realizing: oh shit.

there is no particular starting point, but it goes a little bit like this:

—

“poor little shoto todoroki. how tragic.”

heat and hate and rage washes over him, suffocating, crushing, inescapable. hands clasp as his ankles, his elbows, his throat. the pressure is unbearable, his skin is roasting, it’s falling apart, he’s crumbling at the seams, he’s—

“there’s nowhere to run.”

it’s too hot too hot too hot—

todoroki jolts up, sweat gluing his shirt to his spine, blanket trapping his legs to the bed. it’s too much, too hot. there’s no air—

he tosses the blanket back and jumps out of bed, tearing the shirt over his head, throwing it as far away as possible as his chest heaves.

“what’ll your friends think when—“

“shut up, shut up,” todoroki hisses, doubling forward until he’s on his knees, hands tearing through red and white hair. “you’re fine. you’re fine.”

it’s hard to breathe.

help, call for help, don't just sit here, don't just—

scrambling, todoroki crawls across the floor, tossing blankets and pillows out of the way. he finds his phone and unlocks it, ignoring the shake in his hands, the way his fingers can’t seem to hit the right buttons, and opens his contacts.

“fine, fine, fine,” he mutters. the clock says 2:37 am. shit. he takes the deepest breath his lungs will allow and hits call on the only name he’s sure might be awake.

one ring. doubles over again. two rings. presses his forehead into the floorboards. three rings. his throat catches.

“todoroki, holy shit, dude, whats—“

“sero, oh—“ another deep breath. “sero. i know it’s late, i’m sorry, i just—“

“woah, woah, slow down. todoroki, what’s wrong?”

“nightmare,” todoroki hisses, leaning back up and clutching the phone with both hands. “wasn't fast enough. sorry—“

“hey,” sero interrupts him, sounding more and more awake by the second. “don't apologize, okay? you’re gonna be alright. listen, you need to get your breathing under control. i’ll help you.”

sero’s voice alone, anyone’s voice at all, makes todoroki feel grounded to the earth. sero is calm and cool as he helps todoroki with his breathing, counting and humming. when he’s finally able to see straight, todoroki sits cross legged on his bed, still gripping the phone tight.

“sorry for waking you up,” todoroki mumbles, relishing in the clearness of his lungs. every nerve still shakes. “um—didn’t know what else to do.”

what he doesn’t say is: for some reason, you always know exactly what to say to help people feel better, in any situation at all.

sero is quiet for a brief moment. todoroki can almost hear him smile. “like i said, man, you don’t need to apologize.” a pause. “you sure you’re alright?”

“yeah.” todoroki runs a cool hand down his face. his lights are on now. he sits back on his bed, shoulder blades meeting the wall. on the other side, sero sits in a similar position. “i’m okay now.”

“if you need anything else,” sero murmurs, voice gentle, “anything at all, you can—you can come to me. doesn’t matter what it is. or what time it is.”

something about sero’s tone, his word choice, something about the late hour, about the nerves still dancing just beneath todoroki’s skin… he smiles, in spite of himself.

—

they never really talk about it after they hang up. not off the phone, and certainly not in broad daylight. talking about it meant admitting it out loud and—well, todoroki has a hard time thinking about any nightmares at all after he finally catches his breath. it’s something he’d rather ignore. sero understands.

“did you have another nightmare?”

“please just—talk to me. about anything else.”

shortly after that, classes got harder, tests more difficult, and sero turned to todoroki for aid. smoothly, nonchalantly, of course, because sero didn’t need anyone to know that if he didn’t get extra studying in he might just drown. he had briefly considered asking to join kirishima on his study sessions with bakugo before he saw how the blonde would take to literally beating the knowledge into kirishima’s poor head.

sort of unrelated, sero had stumbled in on them in the kitchen blushing under those buzzing fluorescent lights, practically nose to nose.

bakugo was furious, furious enough to deny sero extra help with his homework, that’s for sure. then there was kirishima, who couldn’t look sero in the eye for the remainder of that day.

sero’s still not sure why both of them had looked so embarrassed. it’s not like he hasn’t noticed they’d been fooling around, stealing glances across the common room and holding hands under the cafeteria table for weeks on end now. did they honestly think they were being sneaky?

not only that, but sero’s pretty sure bakugo’ll never let anyone else into his room aside from kirishima. not to study, and certainly not to peek at his limited edition all might posters. sero’s positive he wasn’t supposed to know about the posters, but kirishima kinda has a loud mouth.

and anyway, todoroki is much more patient.

“have you gotten number twelve yet?”

“hm? oh, uh, no. i’m kinda confused on this part right here, but—“

“i’ll walk you through it.”

most of the time, the studying took place downstairs in the common area. however, there were times when downstairs was just too loud. so naturally...

todoroki’s room is quiet. peaceful. also super fuckin’ fancy. needless to say, work is easier to accomplish in the peace of his space.

except for when it’s not.

“sero, focus on your work.”

“wh-huh? i’m focusing! just—“

“you were trying to balance that pencil on your nose.”

“still counts as focusing, roki.”

turns out todoroki makes a great tutor when sero actually pays attention.

—

sero takes it upon himself to start sharing his favorite manga after catching todoroki in the courtyard curled up with a familiar cover peeking through his fingers.

they liked to read a lot of the same things, they’d learned, but sero always had something new to show todoroki, and todoroki always had a classic to introduce to sero. it was a good back and forth, an excuse to escape their loud classmates and sit in companionable silence and read until they felt they’d go cross eyed.

todoroki sits on sero’s multicolored rug, hugging his knees to his chest. his chin rests on one knee, idly flipping the page of some romance manga sero claims is the best. his eyes find the spidery boy twisting around in his hammock, sticking his legs in the air and shifting until his head is upside down.

it’s an odd position, and todoroki has no idea why he refuses to sit still, but sero dips his head even further until his hair meets the floor, until dark eyes find blue and gray.

then he smiles, and time seems to slow.

“gettin’ to the good part yet?” sero asks, kicking his legs back and forth above him. his face starts to turn a little red. todoroki’s never really seen his forehead before.

todoroki blinks. time returns to normal. he goes back to his page. “all the blood’s rushing to your head.”

sero doesn’t seem to notice todoroki’s brief pause. if he does, he doesn’t spend too much time thinking about it. he smiles until todoroki considers asking if his cheeks hurt.

“you're deflecting. that’s deflecting, right? it’s gotta be. you’re totally deflecting, roki.”

maybe being upside down is affecting sero’s eyesight, but are todoroki’s cheeks a little pink?

it’s an excuse for them both to disconnect from the world, to indulge in something unreal, to explore another world with all its wonders and secrets and forbidden loves.

—

sero is in the middle of popping ungodly amounts of popcorn when todoroki makes his way into the common area. his classmates are either chasing each other around the couches, already trying to decide on a movie, or on the phone convincing the rest of them upstairs to come down and join them.

sero grins to himself when he thinks he hears mineta’s sly voice followed by a series of warning sparks from their friendly neighborhood bakugo. iida and kirishima’s voices follow soon after.

“do you need help in here?” a voice asks, startling sero out of his half daze.

“jesus, dude!” he chokes, clutching his chest. “you scared the hell out of me!”

todoroki is unphased, sidling up to sero and taking off the plastic covers of the remaining three bags of popcorn he still needs to pop. “guess i should’ve knocked?” he says, lip quirked just a bit.

after sero catches his breath (there’s an unholy screech from the living room that could only come from kaminari), he jostles todoroki with his shoulder.

“i saved us a spot,” sero says.

by saved, he means he stretched two long pieces of tape across one of the smaller couches in a big X shape. it was todoroki’s favorite couch, and sero was tired of seeing him show up last and have to sit on the floor. kaminari had been more than offended when sero told him the spot was already reserved.

sero didn’t see bakugo eyeball him suspiciously.

“i didn't know any of these heathens actually honored saved seats,” todoroki replied, working side by side with sero.

sero grins again, eyes bright. it’s warm, radiant. it’s lethal. todoroki bites his cheek to keep from grinning back.

“they’ll honor it if they don’t wanna get taped to the ceiling in their sleep, don’t you think?”

todoroki laughs at that. together, they exit the kitchen with their arms full of their own snacks. todoroki’s eyes find a giant X made out of tape on his favorite couch, and dips his head a little to smile to himself.

mina and kaminari sprint up to sero, who grins easily at them, too. kaminari has sparks in his eyes, but that might just be excess energy from whatever twisted game of tag they’d been playing before todoroki and sero exited the kitchen.

“are those for me?” kaminari gasps. “oh, hanta, you’re too kind!”

sero turns his arms away, rolling his eyes lightly. mina has already snuck behind him and is trying to tease a can of pop out of his grasp. he attempts to twist, tries to back away before they get their grubby little hands on his hard earned snacks, when he backs into kirishima instead. the redhead is already smirking mischievously before he joins the other two offenders on their quest to rob sero blind.

bakugo blows right past them, naturally. “you’re in my way, damn kids!”

todoroki smiles at that, too. damn kids. there’s a lot to smile about tonight. he takes away the tape X and sits cross legged on his saved spot. momo has the remote to the tv, and jirou is whispering movie titles in her ear.

“this seat taken?” sero asks, but he plops down next to the multicolored boy anyway. he managed to make it to his spot with nearly all his snacks. mina got a hold of the popcorn. todoroki notices, and offers to share with him.

it takes them awhile, but eventually the whole class makes their way into the common area, strewn across seats and the floor, snacks and drinks everywhere. they decide on some ridiculous romantic comedy movie. on their way in, midoriya and uraraka both ruffle todoroki’s hair as they walk past, and kirishima plants a kiss at the top of sero’s head.

sero and todoroki spend the entire night whispering their predictions for the end of the movie, making fun of terrible monologuing, brushing knees and shoving shoulders. it’s comfortable, easy. it’s fun.

“stupid icyhot,” bakugo grumbles to kirishima later on that night, in the quiet of kirishima’s room. “stupid soy sauce.”

“hm?”

“they’re both fuckin’ stupid.”

“oh yeah?” sometimes it takes bakugo a minute to figure out what exactly he’s trying to say. kirishima waits for him, always.

“fucking—dumbasses don’t even realize.”

kirishima feels his lips threaten to split in a grin, sitting at the edge of his bed. he watches bakugo pace. “you noticed, too?”

bakugo turns to him, eyes ablaze as they always were. he’s just within arms length. “of course i realized. only an idiot wouldn’t notice that. and they’re fuckin’ stupid! it’s gonna be a pain in the ass to watch them—watch them just—“

“dance around it?” kirishima suggests.

“fuckin’ stupid,” bakugo hisses again.

then when he throws his hands up, kirishima wraps his arms around bakugo’s thighs and pulls him close. it’s instinct at this point, to pull him closer, pull him out of his head.

they both used to be the idiots in question, dancing around the truth, around what they really wanted.

“give them time,” kirishima mumbles, cheek pressed to bakugo’s stomach. the blond’s hands rest on his shoulders. “they'll figure it out if and when they need to.”

kirishima tilts his head back, observing bakugo’s frown.

“if i have to watch those two losers pine—“ bakugo pretends to gag, sticking out his tongue.

laughing gently and taking bakugo’s collar, kirishima pulls him down until their lips meet. he kisses him like he means it, to remind him that they were both pining losers at one point.

in his own bed down the hall, sero sleeps soundly, curled around todoroki’s favorite manga. he’s read it three times now, but it never seems to get old. just next door, todoroki sleeps with his back pressed to the wall separating their rooms. he doesn’t dream, not this time.

—

part two on my account !

25 notes · View notes

daveyjacobss · 4 years

Text

clarity | davey jacobs

french vanilla part seven

reader x davey jacobs

summary: a stupid decision and a moment of clarity (in which maybe things aren’t as easy as they had hoped)

a/n: happy october!! not sure if anyone even remembers or cares about this series anymore but october 1st is when it all started lol so happy anniversary :) thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this and i hope you like it!! (please don’t be mad at me) as always, come tell me what you though of it!! (also this is unedited so pls forgive me for mistakes)

( french vanilla masterlist )

__________

Another month passed, all of the autumn leaves were long gone and the winter chill that lingered in the air had people crowding into coffee shops and the like. Y/N had gone to breakfast a week before with Race and Spot and they'd all been texting ever since. She'd gone to Crutchie's to bring him the promised coffee and banana bread and she had stayed there for hours talking. He'd been texting her, too. Even Sarah had started to text her regularly, chatting about whatever came to mind.

Davey Jacobs had been back in her life for a little over two months and her world felt a million times brighter. It felt like, slowly, he was bringing back all of the other people that she'd lost, too. She knew he wasn't actually responsible for Crutchie, Race, and Spot being back in her life, but it felt that way. It felt like merely his presence in her world was parting the clouds and combating the winter winds.

They were meeting up again, but this time he was coming to her apartment. Her roommate was gone for a few days visiting her parents, which meant they would have the place to themselves. It would be the first time since they saw each other again in that coffee shop that they would be alone together, no Sarah on standby waiting to act as a buffer if needed. Truth be told, she wasn't entirely sure what to do with herself while she waited for him to arrive. She had already done a deep cleaning of the apartment the night before, coffee was all ready to be made if needed, their cabinets were stocked with a good amount of snacks, and she was fully dressed and ready. That left twenty minutes until he was supposed to be there for her to walk around her apartment aimlessly, trying to calm her heart and control her breathing. She didn't have any papers out for their story. They rarely seemed to get any work done for it anyway, so she thought, maybe, she would ask if he just wanted to push the story to the side for the day. Maybe they could just talk or watch a movie or make out on her couch (okay, probably not the last one, but she could dream).

It was odd being so nervous, as if asking if he wanted to simply hang out with an excuse for doing so was some big step in their relationship. Their relationship would probably have to be normal for things to be categorized as big steps, what they had was all twisted and out of order. There were big steps that they had already taken and then backtracked on, steps they had never made it too, steps they would have to find their way back to. Still, her heart squeezed in anticipation for his telltale knock on the door. Alex would tell her how annoying her pacing was, but Alex wasn't there so she continued to stomp around.

Davey got there exactly eight minutes early, his knock loud against the wooden door. She startled like a cat, tensing immediately and practically jumping out of her skin. Her heart beat sped up to impossible rates, she felt like if she waited a few seconds more she would be able to watch it hop out of her chest and start doing laps around the building. Determined not to give it the chance, she stumbled quickly over to open the door. He was running a hand through his hair as she did so, smiling when he saw her.

"Hey," he said, bristling a little as he situated his bag and his coat. She opened the door wider to let him in and closed it behind him.

"Hey, do you want me to take your coat?" He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, obviously amused as he shrugged the garment off his body.

"Why thank you, kind madame," he said as he handed it to her, tone mocking and jovial. She laughed quietly.

"But of course, good sir," she responded, smiling up at him as she hung up his coat. Having in the apartment made the space look different somehow—smaller, but not in a bad way. It looked more homely, she supposed, cozier with his warm presence there. She took a step toward him without even really noticing, unconsciously trying to close the distance between them. "So, do you wanna watch a movie or something? There's this YouTube video I kinda wanna show you if you're down."

She saw the look of confusion pass over his face, eyes flicking over to his bag set down on the floor. She could tell he was thinking about the story, thinking about how he had brought his materials because he assumed that's what they were doing. She held her breath while waiting for him to say something, to react in some way.

Slowly, a grin spread across his face. His shoulders seem to sag a little in relief as he met her eyes. "What do you wanna show me?"

She clapped excitedly and then grabbed his hand to drag him over to the couch, picking up the remote so neither of them sat on it. She didn't realize until she had pulled the video up that she was till holding his hand. She looked at their joined fingers with wide eyes before her gaze moved upward to his face, finding him resolutely facing the TV, his cheeks flushed pink. The corners of her mouth twitched upward.

He hadn't pulled his hand away. He was still sitting there holding her hand and not looking at her and it felt remarkably similar to how it had been when they originally started dating. She untangled their fingers and moved her hand to her lap, but the feeling of his skin lingered. She had the urge to text someone about it, an all caps freaked out rambling kind of message. The thing was almost everyone she wanted to tell about it (Race, Spot, Crutchie, Sarah) was connected to Davey. She supposed she'd have to settle for telling Alex later, with his disappointingly apathetic reactions.

Later felt like it was centuries away, though, with the thoughts running through her head. He hadn't pulled away. He had just kept holding her hand. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she turned her attention to the video she had put on. Still, she remained painstakingly aware of Davey next to her and the small space between them. She wanted to scoot over and rest her head on his shoulder, curl up around him like she used to when they had movie nights. She wanted that space gone and she couldn't stop thinking about what he might do if she held his hand again. She breathed. He laughed at something in the video. She breathed again. Time seemed to be moving strangely, like they had entered their own little pocket of the world where nothing, not even the passage of time, could reach them. She took a second to revel in it before she found herself once again glancing at Davey's hands, her own fingers twitching with the desire to reach out to him.

She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep pretending she wasn't in love with him.

__________

In retrospect, Davey probably should have pulled his hand away the second they sat down on the couch. All he could think about since the last time they'd seen each other, on repeat, was that she didn't love him anymore. He was torturing himself at this point, literally laying down to have his heart stomped on. When she finally detached their hands neither of them said anything, but he could feel her looking at him and he fidgeted a bit under her gaze. He wished he wasn't so nervous around her, constantly tiptoeing around the things they wouldn't talk about. Eggshells wasn't the right word for the floor their feet had seemed to find, it was far more precarious than that. There was a fear buried deep under each of their interactions that he would say something wrong, make a reference to their relationship before or, god forbid, bring up the night it all fell apart.

And yet, she had invited him over for no reason. Not to work on the story, just to exist in the same space as her and show him a YouTube video that she thought he would like (he did, it was incredibly funny). That was dangerously close to what they had once been, and the potential of it almost scared him.

He needed to start thinking of this practically. None of his friends knew that he was talking to Y/N again, Sarah was the only one. They'd only been back in each other's lives for two months after spending over a year apart because they had broken each other's hearts. She likely wasn't still harboring any secret feelings for him, not after all that time and certainly not after what he had said to her that night. Realistically, this strange little relationship of theirs wasn't going anywhere. Maybe they would end up friends in the long run, but it was never going to go any further than that. So, thinking practically, Davey needed to decide whether it was all worth breaking his own heart every time he saw her and had to pretend that he didn't feel the same way about her that he had back then.

He wanted to just bask in the moment, to sit there with Y/N and steal glances at her as she pulled up another video for them to watch. She was so breathtakingly beautiful it was almost unreal. When he wasn't thinking practically, half the time he was convinced she didn't even exist, that he must have dreamed her up. But she was real and she was there and he needed to stop looking at her before she noticed. He wanted to bask in the moment, he really did, but he just couldn't. Not this time.

They made it through four videos before he got a text from Les. It wasn't anything important, just a question about if Davey knew where his favorite hat was, but he knew that was his chance to remove himself from the situation so he could think more clearly. He told her that the text had been from Jack and he needed him back at the apartment.

"Oh, you have to go so soon?" She frowned at him, almost pouting. He nodded, standing up reluctantly. She followed suite, looking rather dejected. It made his heart ache, seeing her upset over him leaving. But that was exactly what he needed to escape, her ability to break his heart over and over and over again every time they saw each other.

Something about it all made that goodbye seem very final. He wasn't trying to erase her from his life completely, so why did it feel like this was the last time he was ever going to see her? Maybe that was what made him do it. Maybe it was her frown or the finality of it all or the fact that he was about to go out into the cold and she always made her feel warmer. Maybe it was everything and nothing all at once. It didn't really matter why he did it, all that mattered was that when they paused together in front of the door he reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her securely into his chest.

She let out a surprised squeak, but then she was leaning into his touch and burrowing her face in the material of his crew neck. He held her for longer than he probably should have, just as he had held her hand earlier. Having her so close to him formed a barrier between him and any sense of his practicality, the smell of her shampoo flooding his nose and the feeling of her hands on his back soothing him more than anything else could.

He had to pull away, he knew he did. Taking one last deep breath, relishing in the feel of her body against his, he began to untangle himself from her.

He didn't make it far.

Their eyes met with their arms still wrapped around each other. He couldn't breathe, her face so close to his that he could see even the tiniest of movements of her pupils. Practicality, his brain kept screaming at him. He was making too much out of nothing, he needed to get out of there before it got to weird and then she didn't even want to be his friend anymore (more precarious than eggshells). He needed to get out.

But then she was leaning in and pulling him closer and crashing her lips against his and he figured he could probably stay a while. Forever, really, if she wanted. Screw practicality, caution to the wind, all that mattered was the fact she was kissing him.

And he was kissing back—fervently, desperately. God, he loved her. He had so much love for her he barely knew what to do with himself, but that didn't have to mean heart break and confusion anymore because she was kissing him.

He'd been stupid, thinking this was escapable. They were inevitable—of course they were, they always had been. He could see it all in front of him: his parents welcoming Y/N back with open arms, overjoyed that Davey had won her back. Les joking around with her and letting her wear his hat even though no one else was allowed to. His friends warming back up to her and all of them getting to be together like a family again. Sarah cheering him on when he told her they were back together. Nights spent together on her couch watching dumb videos that made them laugh and mornings in his bed, constantly asking for five more minutes so they could keep holding each other. Going out for dinner and going ice skating in the winter and talking walks in the park in the spring and going on day trips to the beach in the summer and frequenting coffee shops in the fall, laughing over how it all began.

It was all right there in front of him, right in his arms. He wasn't going to let it go this time, let her go. He loved her, and she was kissing him, all was right with the world.

__________

Holy shit. She was kissing him. Y/N was full on frenching Davey and she.....had not meant to do that. But he had had his arms around her and then he was looking at her with those sparkly eyes of his and he just looked so pretty that she couldn't resist.

Kissing Davey was nice, familiar. It awoke stampedes in her stomach and sent a warm tingling feeling through each of her limbs. She had missed kissing him a lot, more than she'd initially realized. It made her want to reach up and tangle her fingers in his hair, to pull him away from her door and back into the apartment where they could make out on the couch like she had fantasized about an hour ago. The tingling sensation was taking over her body and suddenly there was adrenaline rushing through her.

Something that felt like clarity broke through the haze. Maybe it wasn't clarity, maybe it was just foolishness or fear, but it broke through nonetheless.

She pushed him away as it came over her, staring at him with wide eyes. He looked wonderfully flushed and tousled, panting as he stood there. He was looking at her like he might be in shock, and she didn't blame him. She had come out of nowhere with that kiss, no time spent spent pondering the consequences or what it might mean for them.

But there were plenty of consequences to think about, millions of things running through her head at lightning speed once she finally found the sense to think of them. And, suddenly, she wasn't so sure kissing him had been a good thing. It had been too fast, too soon after everything they had put each other through in the past. She couldn't do this to him again, and she wasn't sure her own heart could handle loving him only to lose him again. Or, worse, to somehow find, as the time passed, that she would fall out of love with him. That one day she would look at him and not feel the same way, like she was still that girl behind the counter at the coffee shop writing jokes on his napkins.

And she wouldn't be able to survive it if she had to go through the loss again. She had given up so many friends for the sake of not intruding on Davey's life after they had broken up, she'd spent her entire time in Paris so sad that she could barely enjoy all the sights.

She hadn't meant to kiss him, and she really really shouldn't have. It was too much. The room felt like it was shrinking, the walls closing in on her, and even though she was panting no air was reaching her lungs.

She looked at him, at his messy hair and his red face and his eyes completely focused on her. She loved him, she really did, but she couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry," she choke out, feeling a sob forming in the back of her throat. "I shouldn't have—"

"It's okay," he breathed. The corner of his mouth started to move upward and she let out a strangled noise like a dying animal. His face contorted in confusion but she couldn't bear to stay and explain. She opened the door and walked out, rushing down the stairs until she was outside and the cold air was burning in her chest. She didn't even realize until she was a block away that she had just abandoned Davey in her own apartment.

She hadn't grabbed a coat or gloves, her body shaking in the cold as her teeth chattered. At least her phone was in her back pocket, waiting patiently for her to make an inevitable call.

The first time her and Davey had ever had a fight she had gone to Spot and Race's apartment to rant to them about he stupid he was being. Even though they had been his friends first, they listened dutifully to her and offered up their support. They had even helped her cool down with warm drinks and funny TV shows until she felt okay enough to call Davey and apologize. What had happened in her apartment wasn't exactly a fight, but it was a Davey related panic and they had always been her go-to people for that sort of thing.

She called them when she was halfway to their place, shivering violently as she walked and praying it wouldn't start snowing. Race picked up after the second ring and, when he heard the way her teeth were chattering, urged her to find somewhere warm to wait so they could pick her up.

The closest place was across the street from where she was standing, and it was the same coffee shop where she had met Davey. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry, but she went inside and told Race where she was. He told her he'd be there in ten minutes, asking if she wanted him to stay on the phone while he made his way to her so she wouldn't be alone.

She told him no, but when they hung up she felt the isolation suffocating her. Everything that had happened that day weighed her down, bringing her sluggishly into a seat next to the window where she could keep an eye out for Race.

She closed her eyes for a minute, pretending she was back at home in her bed and she had never invited Davey over, never even met him again after they broke up. It tore her up to think about, but maybe the alternative—the life she had been leading before, no closure and still heart broken—was better than the mess she had landed herself in.

Race made it to the coffee shop in nine minutes and thirty six seconds, she had counted. He took one look at her and wrapped her up in his arms. It was nice, and he was warm, but it felt like Davey's touch was still lingering on her and he had squeezed too tightly on a still healing bruise.

When they made it back to Race's place, Spot was waiting for them with three steaming mugs and a soft, sympathetic smile on his face. Race had given her one of his sweatshirts at the coffee shop and she bundled herself up in it, hiding away from the world.

"What's going on, Y/N?" Race asked gently. She sighed, taking a sip from her mug. She had called them, after all, she figured it was only fair they got to hear everything.

"It's a bit of a long story..."

__________

taglist:

@isarants @tomanybandstolove @seriously-ceci @bens-platt @earlyjunes @broadway-trashh @interwebseriesfan24 @returnoftheborle @cozykleinman @timesarehardfornewsies @jackclyde @last-an-eon @annabethgranger123 @musi-xals @notyouraveragegryffindoor @magic-made-by-melody @i-also-miss-our-talks

@linfuckingmirandaaa @shatteringinprogress @storytellersun @psych-stereo @books-cats-sprinkles @me-andthe-sky @connor-is-my-sunshine @merediths2003 @papesfordavey @larryisinfactnotstraight @casifer-is-cute @gem-evieve @actually-lizzy @broadwayobsessedteen @majo16199 @sarkitsm @suffering-bi @tommy-braccoli @starryrevelations @woolfhrd @thesleepingandthedead @cruelnatalie @bencookisagod @snazzydoesthings @boyinbluelance @thespacegeranium @sleepyintrovert @santa-feigh @write-whatyou-know @suckoutallthemarrowoflife-m-blog @ghostofletters @typhannijake-blog @hermionejacobs

#french vanilla #davey jacobs x reader #newsies fic #davey jacobs #newsies #newsies modern au #racetrack higgins #spot conlon #bambi can kinda write

79 notes · View notes

ironmansuuucks · 4 years

Text

Are You Lost?

dewey finn x reader

hey guys! here I have a little request from the amazing @thewolfisapartofmysoul !! it’s basically the reader has had a rough week and takes her sweet golden retriever out on a walk and meets dewey along the way! this is a sweet little request and i loved writing it so much - i freaking love doggos and Dewey. what more can you ask for? I hope you enjoy! lotsa love x

warnings: angst, fluff

words: 1600

and this unreal aesthetic was also made by the wonderful @thewolfisapartofmysoul

“Come here buddy” you called over your golden retriever, Gus, to get his leash on. He sat down and licked your face as you sorted him out, to which you thanked him by giving him a quick pet and a cuddle. You stuck your hat on your head and zipped up your fleece as you headed out, stuffing one of Gus’ tennis balls in your pocket along with a few treats. It was autumn heading to winter so you had to stay warm.

The world had truly been against you the past few weeks and all you wanted to do was escape for a while. This morning you decided to get your life back together. You figured a long walk with your best friend was the best way to do achieve this. You could let Gus off his leash, let him chase the ball and just get lost in your own little world for some time.

Heading out towards the woods, you could see your breath in the air every time you exhaled. A gentle reminder of just how nippy it was. Gus didn’t care. His fur was warm enough for him and he loved the cold, embracing it with every step of his paws. It was mid afternoon so there was plenty of sunlight to be had.

Autumn walks were always the best. It was quiet, no one really tended to be around the woods. This meant you and Gus could just enjoy one another’ company. Autumn was also the best because of the beautiful colours and leaves. You loved the way they would crunch under every foot step, each one making you forget about your troubles. Gus loved it when you would pick up a big pile of leaves and gently throw them over him. He would snort happily and bound forward towards the leaves, leaving you giggling at him.

As soon as it was quiet, and you couldn’t see anyone around, you let Gus off his leash. He was well trained and you trusted one another. He wouldn’t run off. As soon as you unhooked him from the leash he bounced more ahead of you, wanting you to throw the ball for him. He barks lowly as you throw the ball. As his breed would suggest, he retrieves the ball and brings it back to you, tail wagging a mile a minute, his body swaying from side to side happily. “who’s my good boy” you would praise him and pat his head, taking the ball from his mouth and throwing it again.

You must have been walking for around an hour and a half before you decided that maybe it was time to head back. Your cheeks were all red from the cold and your fingers felt like they might go numb. You had managed to chill yourself out pretty much and felt ready to tackle the world again going home. “right Gussy boy, I think maybe it’s time we head-“ suddenly there was a small rustle from the bush further up. Gus’s head darted round and his ears perked up significantly. His tongue stopped panting. Shit.

Gus all of a sudden raced forward towards, what had now been revealed as, a rabbit. He was fast. “Gus… GUS!” you tried to call him but he was not stopping. You ran after him as fast you could but you were losing sight of him. FUCK! This was the last thing you needed right now. “Gus Stop-“ you were cut off as you stumbled and fell over one of the tree roots on the forest floor. “ouch..”. you got up slowly, wiping the green and dirt off of your fleece and jeans and tried to catch your breath. “shit.. where did you go Gus?”. He was nowhere to be seen.

Your heart started to race with anxiety. These forests where huge. He could be anywhere with his speed. It’s fine, it’s fine I’ll find him – calm down. You mentally told yourself as you started to shout “GUS?!?! Gu-us…”.

* * * * * * *

Dewey was sick of Patty. She was always yelling at him. She made him feel like he was worth nothing, as if he didn’t matter. So he found himself out a thoughtful walk through the woods, as he normally did on these kind of occasions. He loved autumn, with all of its beautiful colours and the cold air. He could stick on his hat and scarf and get cosy to brace the cold. It made him feel better when he was out in the fresh air and had time to himself to think over everything. He was trying his best these days, with his after school club for the kids and his new band. She was just a stuck up bitch who couldn’t get over what had happened at Horace green. I mean Ned had mentioned to him not long ago about how he was thinking about breaking up with her. Dewey really hoped he would follow through on that because he was just sick of..

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he suddenly noticed a little white dot bouncing towards him. He squinted his eyes to focus on what was coming towards him, his face screwed up in confusion. It didn’t take long for him to realise that it was a doggo. He began to smile as it got closer. “hey buddy..” he started but the golden retriever jumped up on Dewey and knocked him over, starting to leave kisses all over his face, wagging its tail frantically.

Dewey laughed and began to pet the dog “where did you come from dude?”. He found the dogs collar, looking for the name tag “Gus?” he questioned to which Gus barked happily. “well we better find your owner bub don’t want you getting lost” he worried as he picked himself up from the shrubberies.

Gus done circles around Dewey’s feet then bounced forward ahead of him, turning round and wagging his tail frantically at him. Dewey began walking in the direction of where Gus came from. “c’mon boy, c’mon” he teased him. “let’s go boy”. Gus followed Dewey through the woods, staying close to him.

After a minute or so Dewey began to hear someone shouting. As he continued walking the voice got louder and eventually he could hear you shouting “Gus!!”. He began to speed up, heading towards the shouting as Gus stayed close to him, apparently oblivious to your calling.

You were only a couple hundred yards away, worried sick about Gus. It had been fifteen minutes and he still hadn’t appeared. This wasn’t like him, where the hell could he be. If he was lost you would never forgive yourself. He was your best friend. As if the week couldn’t get any worse..

You stopped in your tracks when you heard a bark. “Gus?... GUS!”. You called out, speed walking towards the noise. God you hoped he was ok. What if he was hurt?

You got dragged from your thoughts when you noticed someone walking towards you. You squinted your eyes, confused until you seen Gus walking along beside him, looking up at the guy happily. “Gus!” you called out and almost ran towards him in relief. Gus’ ears perked up and he looked at you, jumping up on you when you got closer.

You looked up at the guy, while bending down to pet your sweet boy, “hey thank you so much for finding by dog” you exclaimed. Dewey was taken away. You were so pretty. The way the cold had made your cheeks pink was adorable, and your eyes were sparkling (obvs from crying about losing Gus but he didn’t know that). “uh yeah no bother, he actually kinda found me” he laughed.

You put Gus’ lead back on and stood back up. “I was so worried I’d lost him honestly. I’ve had the worst couple of weeks and that really would have broke me” you admitted. Dewey furrowed his eyebrows in concern. “aw I’m really sorry to hear that is everything ok?”. You looked up at him. He was kinda cute. His little hat and scarf was adorable and he had a sweet face. “I mean..”

You were stopped by suddenly being thrusted towards Dewey, both of you falling to the shrubberies. Gus had walked round the back of both yours and Dewey’s legs and you fell into one another. You both laughed on the forest floor at the antics, before capturing one another’s eyes. He smiled a sweet, giggly smile and you returned, before realising you were basically lying on top of him. You blushed and got up. “ugh sorry about that” you laughed awkwardly.

Dewey got up and brushed himself off “don’t worry about it” he laughed. “He’s really an awesome dog” Dewey said, bending down to pat him. Gus fussed over him and licked his face, making you giggle. “yeah he’s a sweet boy” you also bent down to clap Gus.

You smiled down at Gus, giving his ear a scratch, as Dewey looked at you, adoringly. He was nervous, but when else was he going to get the chance of bumping into a beautiful girl in the forest? “hey, uh, you don’t fancy going to grab some coffee or something do you?” he braved.

You looked up at the stranger. His pink cheeks and soft eyes. I mean, why not? You’d had a shitty week, maybe this could be the tuning point. Coffee with a cute boy from the forest? Hell yeah. You smiled sweetly “yeah that sounds good….” You left hanging, he picked up “Dewey! Sorry, my names Dewey” he laughed.

“well hey Dewey, I’m y/n” you grinned, and he returned. Gus stretched up and left kisses on Dewey’s face which made you both giggle. He got up “c’mon, I know this great place on fifth that allows dogs. AND they do pupaccino’s for this happy guy too”. You liked how he included Gus, and didn’t just expect you to take him home.

“that sounds good to me Dewey”.

tags: @thewolfisapartofmysoul @large-unit @little-miss-shy-goth @paxenera @heknowshisherbs @missihart23 @geminiacally @go-commander-kim @gegehaddock @baby-beej @sadpuppetshows

#dewey finn #dewey #dewey finn x reader #school of rock #pupper #Alex Brightman #cute

80 notes · View notes

saccharine-suffering · 4 years

Text

Target Practice

Woo this one was fun to write. More about that whumper gathering. I also introduce two new characters in this one so buckle up boys.

Please read the tags for CWs.

Masterlist

Read It On AO3

- - -

Micah hated it here. He never thought he'd see the day in which miss the torture chamber he was now forced to call home. But even still, Micah vastly preferred his cell to this place. He never thought Dollface had any friends-- he didn't know she could; couldn't understand how anyone could get along with that sadist. It only made sense when he realized that they were just like her. They all thrived on cruelty and violence. And unfortunately for him, he would be stuck at the epicenter of all of it.

A thick piece of fabric had been wrapped tightly around his head, blocking his vision. Three people he couldn't see led him outside. He could only assume that one of them was Dollface. His suspicions were confirmed when she spoke. Far too nervous and afraid to make out the words, but he could recognize the voice in half a heartbeat. He had never heard the two with her. One man and one woman-- or maybe 'girl' is a more accurate term. The other girl sounded young. Barely post-pubescent, even. He was trying not to eavesdrop as felt like he wasn't allowed to- like someone would punish him for it. But one thing the young-sounding said stuck out to him.

"I've never actually fired a gun before. Hard to believe, right?"

A gun? Oh god, what were they going to do to him? He didn't want to listen in, but a primal part of him commanded it.

"I wouldn't worry about it," The man started, "it's not hard." He sounded older. In his early thirties, maybe late twenties. The inflection of his voice reminded Micah of Dollface. He couldn't explain it, exactly. They just had a similar vibe.

"Let's hope you're a better shot than me," Dollface laughed, and the man joined her. Her voice alone was enough to send a shockwave of fear down his spine. It was so associated with the everlasting pain at this point that he couldn't help it.

They finally made it outside, and the hot sun gleamed down on Micah's face. It had to have been summer by now; late July, based on the temperature alone. It had been so long since he has last seen the sun. For a brief second, everything felt nice. The soft grass was a sadly forgotten yet welcome feeling. His slight moment of bliss shattered when his captor began to speak to him.

"I need you to stay right here on your knees. Try not to move, honey." Her all too familiar saccharine tone of voice reminded him that he was still in danger.

He nodded. His mind wandered back to the gun. Were they going to kill him? Was it wrong that a part of him was thankful it would be by gunshot? In Dollface's possession, a shot through the head seemed merciful.

He should be more afraid to die. But he's not. Maybe he's still in denial that Doll is going to kill him.

"Here, lemme show you how to do it, Kerina." The man spoke. Kerina. Must be that young girl's name. Micah was trying to distract himself over the sound of the barrel of a revolver spinning. "One- front sight," A moment of silence, "Two- controlled trigger press--"

The second the words escaped his mouth, the earsplitting sound of a gunshot filled the air. Micah could feel his heart skip a beat as the bullet sped through the air next to him at the speed of sound. But he wasn't hit. Didn't stop him from tensing up as if to brace for the pain to come.

"Three- follow through." He finished.

"Okay! Let me try! I think I get it!" The girl- Kerina- jumped. Micah was expecting another shot. Surely it wouldn't be as bad. "Alright, uh, front sight... trigger press--"

This time, immediately following the loud shot, his shoulder blade erupted with a wave of pain. He whimpered and doubled over, not quite finding the strength in him to scream.

"Whoops," Kerina seemed more shocked than remorseful. Doll and the man were laughing at the mistake.

"Okay, maybe I should be more cleat-" He said through stifled laughs, "'front sight' means aim." Micah's adrenaline was pumping enough to numb the pain of the bullet wound. It was bad enough when one person was reveling in his pain, but now there were three.

"But hey, still a better shot than Doll." He teased.

"I can't even defend myself since it's kinda true," Micah had never heard her joking like that before. She was always so ethereal and elegant. It almost seemed unreal.

"I wanna see you try!" Was Kerina always this enthusiastic? Or was she just cruel? It's not like Micah was in any position to ask.

"Yeah, Doll, just try not to hit yourself this time." The man appended, dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't you take that tone with me, Anthony, I was eighteen--"

"Still managed to take a bullet to the knee-"

They continued to bicker like siblings. Siblings. That's what it was. Well, at least it was Micah's best guess as to why they sounded so alike. They could be brother and sister. He hadn't seen Anthony yet, but he pictures him as just a masculine version of Dollface.

"Alright, just don't say I didn't warn you." Micah was terrified. Of course, he was, he could only assume that he was about to be shot for the second time in a few minutes. This time, there was no warning nor countdown- just a gunshot and then hurt. This time, the pain flowered out from his stomach. He could almost feel the led stuck in his flesh. And two open, bleeding wounds combined with the broilingly hot sun beating down on his face did not make a comfortable experience.

The sun was pleasant at first, a hint of warmth in a cold world. But then it felt more and more like how he always used to remember it as he became aware of his situation. With no time to look at the silver lining, he couldn't feel any gentle warmth- just heat. The searing, burning fire from the Arizona sun was burning into his skin, and he was seconds away from breaking down sobbing.

"Jesus Doll, did you even try?" Kerina borderline shouted.

"Yeah, you know you're not supposed to hit the person, right?" The man- er, Anthony- added.

"Alright, alright, I get it- I'm a terrible shot," Dollface laughed as she walked over to her captive, "But I need to get him inside before he bleeds out and dies."

It was all so casual. As if it was no big deal.

3 notes · View notes

jajko493 · 5 years

Photo

I decided to sketch out my Enderal Prophetess, since I’ve already drawn her twice. While ingame I can’t quite play with her clothes, I kinda see her in this outfit in my head. The background is literally just a scribble, so as to not leave space empty tho, mhhh. More about her in the full post, and spoilers up until the end of the game are aplenty. It’s a long one, I can’t seem to be able to be more concise!

Her name is Rak’hel. Her name, rather than being pronounced as Rachel (sir Firespark would most probably beg to differ), goes like this: rack-hell, with a very hard h. She’s half-Qyranian, obviously.

She’s a particularly tall woman, towering over many. She cut her hair shortly before leaving for Enderal, seeing it as troublesome to maintain while traveling. Three scars are present on her face, gained from a fight with a particularly meddlesome customer, not pleased with his soup. With but a bit of grace and her usual stern expression, she could be perceived as emotionless. Paired with her reluctancy to speak much and sparse shows of being emotional, it is no wonder. One who gets closer, though, gets to experience a range of both quiet and loud feelings dwelling inside.

When worried about you, she definitely would try to stick close to you, to the point of keeping some physical contact at all times, hoping to never have the chance to see something bad happen.

Were you to anger her, by showing extreme lack of respect by walking out mid quarrel, leaving her helpless and unable to finish the topic, she wouldn’t scream - but it’d be visible. With clear rage on her face, she could even slam her fist on the wall, the table (not a person, never!). Afterwards, her glass would be filled with mead and wine until the next day, to empty her head of worries and thoughts. Reason as well.

Goodness, at least she’s strong when it comes to alcohol.

‘That son of a Vatyr is going to regret this’, she spoke into her cup, gripping it as if planning to break it.

When happy, her expression softens, revealing a delicate smile. One blemished with a scar on the left side of her rip, slightly pulling it upwards. Definitely expect jokes, and not just the proper kind! She isn’t squeamish when it comes to physical pleasures.

She doesn’t remember much of her childhood, with her mind repressing the memories due to events related to her house burning down, which she can’t quite forget, due to frequent nightmares making her relive the event in horrible ways. It’s not as if she’s eager to discuss and exactly remember what happened, anyway.

She toiled away her teenage years mostly in kitchens of inns and taverns, training herself to maybe, just maybe, open one of her own in the future - though that prospect became as distant as it possibly could, with Nehrim being swayed by chaos of war after the death of Lightborn. With her workplace burnt down by the time she was 25, alongside her long time friend, Sirius, she decided to look for a new one in Enderal.

There, she quickly picked up alchemy, seeing it as an extension of cooking. Do not let her do both at the same time. Separately, she creates dishes that taste just like home and high quality concoctions. Mix them, and you just might find ghost wrappings in your tomato soup. Or worse - tomato in your stamina poison. She’s willing to take any challenge, there are no impossible recipes - only more difficult ones.

‘There are no negative effects in cures, or beneficial factors in venoms. There are only well- and badly distilled elixirs.’

Though not well versed in contract, she trains her muscle with swords, preferring two-handed to one-handed. Not quite logically, she prefers light armor to the heavy variety.

Suddenly gaining the ability to use magic was initially shocking. Tragically inspired by the two Apothecari, Finn and Carbos, whom she briefly met at the start of her journey in Enderal, she decided to teach herself in the school of Restoration.

If all went well in her adventures, she’d wish to gather enough money from her adventures to open an inn with place for healers beside it. If not as well, then at least she could manage traveling by herself, with potions she made (especially with the ability to recite every combination for health potion and ambrosia) and magic. Any companions she had - she could save.

‘All to not be left alone.’

And yet, after befriending some in the Order and outside of it, finding a soulmate in a certain cynical, yet endearing mercenary, she once again felt alone. Working alongside everyone against the incoming Cleansing, which felt closer and closer with each step towards stopping it. She figured a last-ditch effort would be necessary to counteract it. Learning that not only was she one of the key elements in bringing it to reality struck her deeply. On top of that, she wasn’t even fully real or alive - despite how alive has she felt exploring the wilderness of the Dark Valley, or hiding during a sandstorm close to Duneville. If, as the Black Guardian said, her dear one turned out to not have survived as well, she wasn’t sure she’d bother saving Vyn.

‘Hopeless’, she muttered. ‘Absolutely hopeless.’

But he was alive, and, by the Gods! He was there with her. And what more reassurance could she need? She stood next to him in battles, he survived her fury after running away, he wanted a future with her. But...

From the choices she could take, only one of them could lead to them staying together - and it was the most painful one.

Her decision, in the end, was to sacrifice herself to give this world a bit more time to figure out how to save itself. Shaping a new humanity into better kind was not something she deemed herself to be capable of. What she could do, however, is believe in the one she allowed to fly away on a Myrad before effectively dissolving into nonexistence.

...yeah, no. She wasn’t quite so willing to sacrifice herself. It wasn’t a suicide - it was a challenge, and the name of it was Dreamflower Elixir.

Having brewed it on her own, she wasn’t sure it was done well, and if it would work. She struck the Black Stones of the Beacon without believing she’d make it through. Could she cheat the Death itself?

Surprisingly, she opened her eyes again, after already accepting she was done for.

For all intents and purposes, she’d never again say she ‘woke up’ - and she was right about it. All the traveling and adventures she met on her path, whether alone or accompanied by her loved one, she took as just another chapter of a dream, granted to her as a reward for giving up her chance at fleeting, but real happiness.

Throughout endless conversations, she’d always go back to this very line of thought.

‘It is most probably a dream, but it’s not as if I mind, she declared in the same calm voice as always, despite the protests of her partner. Standing with her back against the railing of veranda with admittedly a dreamy view, in a gown that left little to imagine, she spouted what one could perceive as nothing but utter nonsense at times. ‘I welcome it, in fact. I am with you, and that matters to me. But it could have been different, you know. Maybe not as nice. But goodness... Just, the fact that it is so nice is what keeps me uncertain. Only Malphas would know the truth, I suppose.’

Indeed, she was dreaming. In a split of second, the Dreamflower created a soft cushion of illusion to shield her from reality. And it started showing cracks - it’s no good for it when the dreamer is too aware.

It all had to go deeper.

When she turned around after being met with no response to her monologue, she saw that she was alone. Furthermore, after blinking to make sure it wasn’t the peaceweed affecting her vision, she noticed she wasn’t even on the veranda anymore. Instead, she stood in a pure, white space, with a field of lightly glowing nightflowers at her feet. One more glance around, and she was met with The Veiled--- no, not her.

A veiled woman. But a different one, with a flower attached on the side of her head. By the gods, what kind of sick joke is her mind playing on her?

Then, she presented her an offer, almost too good to be true. Yet, Rak’hel somehow believed in it.

She was given a chance to start anew. Explore a different eventuality. Not leave the dream to experience the future, but try again, and possibly change it?

Utter foolishness. Absolutely unreal.

But, if magic was all about exploring different eventualities... Maybe this was one where that could actually happen?

Swayed by the prospect of seeing Enderal again, she agreed. With a snap of the woman’s finger, Rak’hel blinked and---

She was woken up from a nightmare by Sirius. She sat there dazed for a couple of seconds, before chuckling at her friend’s joke. If they had a penny for all the times he did it, they’d be traveling in their own starship, and she’d definitely have a barber cut her hair beforehand. It’s getting too long and troublesome.

Some people like to create fluffy AUs where everyone is happy, some like to instead torture their characters even more. Guess I’m the second one.

Kinda prompted into writing by this song.

#enderal #Enderal: Forgotten Stories #oc #prophetess #prophet #the prophetess #kind of fanfiction #this writing got out of hand #rak'hel #sasanka sketches #sasanka jajko art

35 notes · View notes

peytonhudson · 4 years

Text

Plan-B || Peychuck

tagging: @thepuckrmn & @peytonhudson

location: peyton’s bedroom

time frame: March 14 morning.

warnings: puck crying should be a warning.

peyton

Peyton couldn’t tell you what time she fell asleep. She didn’t know whether her tears had eventually just run out or if she’d literally ended up crying herself to sleep. There was a stronger chance it was the latter. It wasn’t until the sun shone through the crack in the curtains the next morning that she fully realized Puck had come back, his hand around hers as he laid asleep on the floor next to the bed. There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but in this moment they were all overshadowed by the fact he’d simply come back. After taking a minute for her eyes to adjust to the light, Peyton let go of his hand slowly and grabbed the pillow from next to her before crawling out of bed and moving to lay next to Puck on the floor. Trying not to wake him, she slid the pillow gently under his head and rested hers on his chest. Maybe if they just laid here for the rest of day, she could block out the rest of the world and everything would stop hurting for a second?

puck

Puck quite possibly drank all of the alcohol in Doveport. After a night of dodging people’s questions about how he was doing, he found himself sneaking into Peyton’s once more. It didn’t take long for him to pass out on her floor once he was sure she was okay. Deep in slumber, he barely felt her manipulating his head with the pillow. He did feel the pressure on his chest which caused him to instinctively wrap his arm around her body. The pounding in his head became more prominent as he slowly woke up. It took him a couple of moments to remember exactly where he was and how he got there. The reality of everything that was going on creeped back into the front of his mind. Glancing down at Peyton, he reached up and slowly ran his fingers through her hair. He had so much to say to her, and yet nothing was coming out of his mouth except for three little words. “I’m so sorry.”

peyton

Her eyes kept closed as she felt his arms wrap around her. She could smell the alcohol on his clothes, but it still smelt like... him. And she needed him. For once, she needed him to stay when he felt like running. She listened to the sound of his breathing for a moment, and opened her eyes when his voice broke the silence. “What are you sorry for?” Peyton muttered quietly. She kept her gaze looking down, knowing if she looked up and saw the pain in Puck’s eyes it would only be seconds before she turned back into the crying mess she’d been most of yesterday. It was one thing to see the person she loved upset, another to know she had caused the pain.

puck

Puck frowned when she refused to look at him. His heart hurt at the entire situation and he just wanted some reassurance that they were going to be alright. His head poured as he stared up at her ceiling as he tried to put what he was feeling into words. “I put you in this situation. You think I would’ve learned from my past. Always use a fucking condom. If I used a condom we wouldn’t be going through this. I’m so damn sorry, baby.” He squeezed her closer to his body. He knew she was just as upset at the entire situation as he was. He knew that it was something they needed to talk through. Shifting his body, he nudged her chin up so that she would finally look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry I’m the reason you’ve been crying. I don’t want to be that guy.”

peyton

“This... no, babe.” She shook her head, for once in her life struggling to find words for how she’s feeling. But it broke her heart to know that Puck was feeling like this was his mess... Or something that he was even a little bit responsible for. “This wasn’t your fault. At all. I promise.” Peyton pressed her lips together and let her head be shifted to look up at him. She was right, staring at the pain in his eyes hurt like hell. “Condoms have fail rates too... And-” She shrugged, and swallowed back the lump in throat — only somewhat successfully. “I shouldn’t have told you anything until I knew for sure. I know how these things work, I just... I really wanted it.” Peyton admitted as she gripped onto his shirt. “I wanted a chance to do it right, and I wanted my kid to have this amazing dad. I just wanted it all more than I thought I did. I’m sorry, Puck... I should never have told you anything without seeing a doctor first. I was so stupid, I never meant to hurt you.”

puck

Cupping her face, he let his thumb slowly rub her cheek as she finally looked at him. “It’s still kinda my fault,” he insisted. His breath caught in his throat as he listened to her speak. His heart broke for her, for himself, for what could have been. “I really wanted it too,” he muttered as he fought back his own tears. “I wanted a real family with you. I want everything with you.” Leaning down, he pressed his lips to her forehead, lingering there for a moment silently. Puck pulled back and looked at her. “I’m glad you told me. I wouldn’t have wanted you to go through all of this alone. We’re in this together, Peyton. I…I love you. And I always wanna be there for you. Even through times like these.” His eyes shifted to the ceiling as he blinked back tears. “It’ll work out for us one day. Right?”

peyton

“It’s not your fault,” she murmured again. This wasn’t a situation she’d ever anticipated being in. For a week she’d imagined what their baby would look like, what they’d act like, and what it would be like doing it with someone who she loved. But in minutes the fantasy had been ripped from underneath them, and she just wanted them both to be able to go back in time. Peyton felt the tears welling in the corner of eyes as Puck’s lips pressed against her head softly. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered only loud enough to reach his ears now he was so close. Hearing him tell her he loved her still felt unreal. It was the only part of this week she wouldn’t change. Puck had always been the sort of person to make her feel loved without having to say it. But hearing it? That reminded her everything could be okay again. “I love hearing you say that,” she muttered, reaching up to dry her eyes the best she could. Resting her chin on his chest, she looked up at him as he stared at the ceiling. Staring at walls and ceilings seemed to be his thing when he couldn’t deal with his own pain. She knew that by now. “It’ll happen for us, baby. We’re going to have a family... Kids that are half you and half me. I still want it all with you.” She couldn’t imagine a time that would change. “I just want this to stop hurting. I want to stop feeling like we lost something.”

puck

He squeezed her shoulder tightly as she apologized to him. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything,” he said softly. And he knew that deep down, it really wasn’t either of their fault. This was just one of those unexplainable life moments. Sighing, he looked down at her. It was pretty obvious that the both of them were going through an emotionally rough time. But deep in his heart, he knew that they’d be able to get through it together. A small smile played on his lips as she spoke about their future. “Kids? As in more than one?” he asked slightly amused at the idea. Her next words broke his heart all over again. He ran his fingers through her hair softly for a moment. “Me too, baby. It’ll get better with time. Me and you will get through this…together. When it’s meant to happen…it’ll happen. I want to be a dad so bad. And having a kid with you? That’s the fucking dream,” he said as he finally let go and allowed the tears to fall down his face. “It’ll happen. It’ll fucking happen.”

peyton

“As in a whole mini-van of kids,” Peyton joked seeing the faint smile light his lips. For the first time in a day there was a brief moment where she didn’t feel like her heart was breaking. Listening to him was comforting, feeling him next to her was comforting. They wanted the same thing, and they wanted it together. But watching the tears roll from his eyes sent her heart to her stomach. “It’ll happen, baby.” She muttered, reaching to wipe them gently from his cheek.”It’ll happen.” Peyton sat up slightly so her face was next to his and pressed her lips against his cheek where the tears had been. “You’re going to be a dad.” She murmured softly against his skin before shifting to bury her face in the crook of his neck. “I love you, and I will make you a dad one day. I promise, Puck. I’m gong to give you it all. I’m just sorry I couldn’t do it now.”

puck

“It’ll happen,” he repeated trying to sound as confident as possible. Not a lot of things worked out in Puck’s life, but listening to Peyton, he knew that at some point in their future he was going to get everything he wanted with her. As long as he had her in his life, he knew everything was going to be alright. Puck held her tightly as she buried her face in his neck. “Stop apologizing, baby. Please. If it’s not my fault then it’s 100% not your fault. The timing was just…off.” His eyes closed as he rubbed her back softly. “Is this a bad time to bring up the fact that I’m hungover as fuck?” he mumbled tiredly as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

peyton

It didn’t matter how many times he told her it wasn’t her fault, probably in the same way he felt responsible, Peyton had to put blame on something. And it made the most sense to blame herself. It was her body that couldn’t do what is was meant to do, and her decision to tell Puck before she’d even seen a doctor. She’d done this before, she should have known the pain she was in wasn’t normal. It was... her fault. “I hate timing,” she muttered, closing her eyes against him. “I just wanted this to be our time.” She sighed as she wiped her tears against his shirt. She can’t help but chuckle a little at his next words, “No, baby. Now is a great time to bring that up.” Though Peyton didn’t need him to tell him that, she could tell by the way he smelled that he’d spent the night in a bottle of alcohol. Or several. She couldn’t blame him for that. “I’ll go get you some aspirin... Do you need food?”

puck

He could feel his shirt getting slightly damp from her tears. He had a feeling this wasn’t going to be something they were going to get over anytime soon. But they’d figure it out together. It made him feel better to hear her chuckle. Opening his eyes, he glanced down at her and then over at the bed next to him. Puck shook his head at her question. “I’m not hungry. How about we crawl into your very comfy bed and pass out for like…another hour or two and then we can think about aspirin? I just wanna sleep next to you. Come on” Shifting out from under her, he shakily stood up and stripped down to his boxers. Puck got into her bed and pulled her down next to him. “It’ll be our time,” he whispered into her ear as he wrapped his arm around her waist and closed his eyes.

peyton

Peyton nodded. She couldn’t argue, the bed was significantly more comfortable than the floor... Though right now she would have laid anywhere as long as he was with her. “Ok, but I am making you take aspirin when we wake up,” she mumbled as she shifted off him to sit on the edge of the bed, watching him as he changed out of the clothes he had been in when he’d left her house yesterday. She tucked herself into him arms, her eyes closing when his breath touched her ear. She believed him. She had to. If there was any way to move past the way her heart currently ached, it was with Puck. Their time would come... Surely it had to.

#askmepara #para: plan b #para: puck #para

2 notes · View notes

xanthicantag · 5 years

Note

alright bro im gonna do all the ask so. U Know You're Doin Em Too

Hot read more since there’s so maaaaaany

1. if you were to have Hanahaki disease, what flowers would you cough up?

I feel like this is entirely based on who i’m feeling the one sided love for? (I googled Hanahaki disease and i’m all about that shit no doubt there) But like, maybe daffodils?

2. if someone were to catch Hanahaki disease for you, what flowers would they cough up?

Uh Roses motherfucker, you’re welcome

3. if you were any historic trope, what would you be? (i.e., the knight, the town baker, the witch of the forest, etd.)

Ok so like on the one hand I love lances, so fucking much, so I’m like big into Knights for that and like protecting people (and/or a beautiful prince cause like, you know), but I also really love the idea of just being like, a traveling fighter of some kind, leading a troupe of loveable idiots or being in a troupe as a loveable idiot. I want to be Iron Bull is what I’m trying to say I guess????? or like, Krem? who knows

4. tell us about your ideal battle outfit.

Ok so I’m torn again. Cause protection and ease of movement are super important, so like a breastplate and some kind of back protection, maybe a shield? or maybe a sick gauntlet arm like Ike from Fire Emblem cause he knows what’s up, and then some minor leg armor to keep the front of my thighs and calves safe and like a shield since those fuck am I right?? On the other hand: If you look like a Thot, the enemy is distracted and an easy target. I’m talking chainmail crop top, plate armor booty shorts, stupid looking heel shoes(?) for maximum thot energy, and of course a whip, either that i use or just have for the thot energy.

5. what would you be a god/goddess of and what would people sacrifice to you?

I think like, a minor deity that helps people make small to mediumish choices (i.e. talk the left or right path, call or don’t call this person), and then like, a cute little charm that people just kinda crush or burn before asking about the choice feels good, feels organic.

6. name five iconic quotes that make you feel things.

Now, I don’t know a lot of quote to be honest, but here’s some paraphrased stuff:

“Now that larping exists dnd is like, not the least cool thing to do”- Travis McElroy

“Yeah I have a pickle allergy, what about it *Pickle eating sounds*” -Me, often

“I fucked your dad” -Me during a quiplash game? And often yeah I’ll admit this

I don’t remember what’s said, but the scene in the Count of Monte Cristo where he just shows off all his sick skills to be like “Yeah I’ll murder the fuck out of your homeboy if he tries to step up to me”.

“All Magicians are inherently inclined to kill” -That unraveled about Megaman robots who get sentience

7. scythe, battle axe, broad sword, spear or trident?

Ok so like, Scythe for formal occasions/when I want to just look good cause I think their a sexy as hell weapon, at me if you want to be I know I’m right. Battle Axes are cool and like, really useful during a siege since you can easily bust stuff down with it and it lets you cut spears in half so you look dope as hell, like, Hector of Ostia if you’re out there, yes you’re correct. Broad Swords are like, just in general really good, you can use it in a duel, a battle, a coronation, magic rituals if you’re really feeling fancy, the list is just endless, a real classic all purpose weapon. Spears are for fucking losers, fuck you if you use a spear sword fight me like a fucking real fighter or get out of here none of this reach bullshit. Tridents are like spears but just, inherently sexier? You know? Like 1 point is stupid and boring, but 3? that’s some good shit. But really fuck all these weapons whips are lances are where it’s at yes feel free to at me again.

8. what combination of natural scents would you use as perfume?

Now this i have like, actually no idea for, but like, just tons of flowers. I just take like a fistful of flowers and rub them on my face.

9. ancient scrolls or leather-bound books?

Oh you know I’m about that leather-bound book life! Fuck A scroll, that is just a piece of paper that is going to tear and be illegible in like 5 years. A nice bound book though? *Chefs kiss*

10. describe yourself as if you were a storm.

A summer rain. It comes in quickly and is gone by the turn of the hour. A brief respite during the dry season, and gone before it can become a disaster.

11. what type of flower (other than a rose) would you offer someone you were trying to court?

First of all op, get the fuck off my back Roses or nothing. Secondly a big sunflower.

12. honey in milk or cinnamon in tea?

Um, neither??????????????????

13. cabin in the woods, apartment in the city or mansion in the suburbs?

Honestly an apartment in the city would be nice but like, living in the woods is the prime chance to be a local mystery.

14. curtains of beads or lace?

Probably lace? Do beads block light?

15. vocal or instrumental music?

I am a big fan of instrumental

16. describe your ideal fantasy outfit

Step one, big cape, it doesn’t touch the ground while on my shoulders but goes about mid calf. Step two, leather armor, it’s light and easy to move in, and provides good protection. Step three, Mask, nothing like flashy, just a plain black mask, preferably a full mask if i’ve got some magic to see with not my eyes, other wise like a typical masquerade mask

17. of all the fantasy races to ever exist, which one would you be?

Fuck. This is so hard. I want to be, so many. No you know what, fuck it. I wanna be a Dragonborn Tiefling hybrid, I’m talking cool horns, I’m talking sweet tail, you already know I can spit literal fire out of my face. Fucking try and get at me I dare you.

18. hard candy, fruit preserves or spice cake?

I love hard candy to just suck on, but my teeth do not.

19. show us an a picture of your ideal crown.

if you don’t think this crown fucks, get out of my face

20. tying your hair up using ribbon, yay or nay?

I’ve had my hair long enough for that like once, and I don’t really like tying my hair up tbh

21. an evening in the forest with elves, a night in the caves with vampires or a morning in the garden with fae?

Um. Bold of you to say I’m not hitting up all these parties??? Like def vampires first since the elven party is advertised to go for like 5 hours, but we all know it goes on for like 4 months and I can’t party that long as a mortal you know. And like you hit the fae up last since you literally are gonna be stuck there the rest of your life after one (1) round of truth or dare

22. tell us, in detail, about a curse a witch would put on you.

Like, in all honesty the biggest thing a witch could do to me via curse would just be to make my right arm like full unusable. Not gone or broken. Just like, it’s slow, I can’t always get it to fully hold onto something so it drops everything, there’s always a small feeling of discomfort, not pain just a minor annoyance, in the knuckles of the hand.

23. talking with sylphs or singing with nymphs?

I get kicked out of the nymph singing area after four seconds of

24. mint, rosemary, basil or sage?

I fucking go wild for the smell of basil don’t even try me

25. favorite childhood story? (doesn’t have to be a fairy tale)

I remembered Inkheart recently and like, I honestly really liked that book

26. tell us about an experience you’ve had that seemed unreal or supernatural. (doesn’t have to be scary)

Sophomore year of college, I realized that all the people around me were people I actually enjoyed spending time with, and it just felt so weird to be there after all the just nonsense that had happened up till then

27. would you rather have poison or healing ointment in your traveling pack?

healing duh? You think I’d ever remember i have the poison one? nope not me!

28. tell us three sayings that you live by.

Try and be a little nicer, unless they really don’t deserve it. Walk away sometimes. Eat food and don’t think about it.

29. vials or mason jars?

Oh get me those vials baby!

30. describe your ideal masquerade ball outfit (mask included).

OH HELL YES. Get me that suit, it’s a sweet dark red with rose colored vest underneath, the jacket and pants have flower vines on them that 100% connect to a big ass rose on the back of the jacket. The mask is more or less this guy:

31. splashing around in a river with mermaids or flying through the sky with harpies?

I can literally swim any day so let’s fly

32. what would you end up in the dungeon for?

Ok i didn’t understand this one at first so I’m keeping my initial reply below and the real one is: You know I beat some like high ranking knight or minor noble in a duel to humiliate them and no i didn’t think it through so here i am lol.

3 things: A talking magic weapon (Probably a sword but i’m down for other options). A certain someone is going in and I’m not letting him go in without someone to keep him safe. There’s dragon eggs that work like the Eragon dragon eggs and I am already waist deep in dead enemies getting one of those babies.

33. if you were a fairy, what color would your wings be?

Take a wild fucking guess

34. if you could have any magical item, what would it be?

God this is so hard, but I think a magic flower that when you pluck one if its petals you can undo a recent event, up to like ten minutes or so.

35. what song would the bards sing about you when you passed by?

I’ll say the Death of Me by Meg Myers

36. would you rather be a pirate or a king/queen?

God that’s hard, Like yeah pirates are cool but i’d love to be royalty and just get to do good shit for the people and also not have scurvy.

37. would you spend more time in the field of flowers, the tavern, the docks or the marketplace?

Hmmm, I think the Tavern as like the number 1, and then a tie for docks and field, and the marketplace in last since i hate crowded areas i need to buy things in

38. would you have a painting of yourself?

Only if I ever ride a dragon and then have a painting to immortalize the moment, and only if the dragon helps me paint it

39. what skill are you famous for?

I mean, people know I sword fight, fight fight, and program, so like, those? and I guess my sick dnd skills

40. if you could live any fairy tale, which one would you?

Fuck if I can think of one!

41. stained glass windows or fairy lights?

Ok Stained glass windows literally slap so like, you already know

#romanarcadia

2 notes · View notes

snkpolls · 6 years

Text

SnK Chapter 108 Poll Results

The poll closed with 1,200 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,159 Responses

While 4’s outnumbered the 5’s for only the second time in a year, 85% rated this chapter good to excellent. The average score for this chapter was 4.08 out of 5.

dude the art in this chapter!!! i said it once i'll say it again, totally unreal. The art was on point, and just overall this was a breath of fresh air after the head swirling exposition flashback-extravaganza that 107 was.

So many things are going to happen and this chapter was not the calm before the storm but maybe like the storm before the hurricane.

Isayama binging Game of Thrones is paying off. This set of conspiracies on top of conspiracies, with so many parties involved, is just building up to an explosive finale.

First chapter since the suicide charge that’s made me cry.

Great chapter with misleading hints on the upcoming horror that awaits Paradis

It was a very great chapter that combined events from numerous sides perfectly. Wasn't too rushed or too slow either. Although the 104th development is very depressing…

As usual, another chapter with lots of answers and yet I feel like I'm more in the dark than ever. Damn, Isayama sure has a way to keep the questions burning and the plot twists coming!

Why can't answers ever be answers in this series?

Got me shooketh. Eren bb what u doin?

WE’LL GET TO THE DETAILS OF THE 104TH FLASHBACK IN A MOMENT, BUT ASIDE FROM THAT, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THE CHAPTER? 1,168 Responses

The 104th flashback was the favorite fandom moment! The crew blushing at each other got almost a quarter of the vote followed by the “who takes the titan” love fight. “All of the above except Zevi” came in a respectable third.

Christ Gabi's so gonna be mindfucked if she hears DauperGirl's backstory about how Sasha saved her and also Dark fucking Connie I asked for some relevant screentime for him but come on Yams nOT LIKE THIS

I didn't know I could love Jean more, but boy I was wrong

I'm just glad Sasha isn't forgotten, we always have flashbacks of her and now that Gabi and the girl Sasha had saved stumbled upon each other... Well i just hope that if someone gets killed in the woods it isn't one of Sasha's family

let me tell you how absolutely thrilled I am to see Armin driving that train. I am always into watching this boy devour new knowledge and apply that shit. Both his engineer parents would be so proud if they weren't, you know, dead and all.

Armin driving, the Springles dumbception, Mikasa carrying like six or eight times my weight's worth of railroad spikes, Mikasa's ponytail, Mikasa blushing!!

Levi pointing out his team-mates height was kinda funny.

The GabixFalco moment is all I live for

Why weren’t the guys all shirtless while working on the railroad?

Levi was holding a mug normally. unacceptable.

THE 104TH FLASHBACK WAS FILLED WITH SWEET AND SHIPPY MOMENTS. WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 1,160 Responses

30% of respondents got the warm fuzzy feelings over everyone’s interactions with each other in the flashback. 17% loved seeing the 104th protecting each other from inheriting Eren’s titan, and at a near tie, Springles arguing about who’s a bigger idiot and Eremika’s blushy glance came in third.

Eren confessing his love and being a cutie pie

Jean immediately settling down after Armin gives an explanation. LET ME LOVE MY JEARMIN MOMENT TOO OK

Eren telling everyone he doesn't want them inheriting the titan so they can live long lives

THEY HIT ME WITH SPRINGLES IN MY FACE AHHHH WHY

Don’t really care too much about it.

The glorious foreshadowing of commander Kirstein

I really loved the sweet blush moment between Eren and Mikasa. I thought that everything was lost and Eremika was only an annoying ship created by WiT. Now Isayama decided to give Eren and Mikasa a little more light. I doubt something will happen between them because of Eren's action, but I see that Mikasa is very important to him.

WHAT IS YOUR THEORY ABOUT THE WINE? 1,159 Responses

Almost half of respondents speculate that the wine has some of Zeke’s spinal fluid in it, with about a third believing that it’s poisoned. If anything, most of the fandom agrees that something is fishy with that bottle...

Oh, right. The poison. The poison for the MP, the poison chosen especially to titanize the MP so Zeke can play his 4d chess game, the MP's poison. That poison?

As much as I want to say "it contains shifter spinal fluid," wouldn't the shifter spinal fluid disappear when it makes contact with the air like other Titan spinal fluids? Yeah, I feel a bit skeptical to see the wine is poisoned with titan spinal fluid, but I can see why fans are speculating it in light of the recent events.

I didn't think anything was up with the wine at the time I read it, but I've seen all these cool spinal fluid theories drifting around and now I want in on that.

IN VINO VERITAS

Nicolo spit in it.

its filled with the tears of the fandom

IS THE PREGNANCY A FAKE? 1,166 Responses

“Fake idk, but all this is fishy as hell” sums up a lot of responses. Close to 60% of the fandom thinks the pregnancy is authentic, 8% believe it is a fake, 30% are unsure.

She may be pregnant, but obviously not in love with the guy

I wish it were, but I'm sensing strong "Ymir reborn" vibes from all this mess so I dunno.

Pregnancy fake? Nah. Daddy reveal fake? I think so!

I'm starting to think it was Eren who suggested it, but because he needed to extend Zeke's lifetime (I'm still convinced the jaegerbros have something wild up their sleeve).

We don't really have enough real information yet to understand her motivations. There is definately something fishy going on though because I just can't see Historia doing something like this out of nowhere. Giving birth puts her at risk of dying, thus leaving Paradis without a queen. Also surely she has not forgotten Ymir and the promise she made to live her own life. If the pregnancy is indeed real then I hope we get real answers soon because I am so confused right now...:/

IF HISTORIA IS PREGNANT, WHAT IS HER MOTIVATION? 1,150 Responses

Almost 1 out of every 2 people think Eren had a hand in Historia becoming pregnant. Nearly a quarter of all respondents think Yelena worked her voodoo magic and basically forced Historia to become pregnant to prolong Zeke’s life. 1/6th thinks Historia left the Greek isle of Lesbos and actually wanted to have a mini-me with farmer-kun. An even smaller part thinks she’s not even pregnant at all.

Eren doesn't want her to become a titan at all as it would pretty much repeat the entire thing that the Reiss family used to do with passing down the Founding Titan every 13 years, I think Eren wants to protect Historia from becoming a titan at all

Eren used the power of the Founding Titan to manipulate Historia to have a baby for an unknown reason.

I think *she* doesn't want to become a titan, ever, so she's using this as a delay until Eren can do something.

I'd say politics and delaying the inevitable.

She wants to be a hero of the Eldians and be remembered as someone who sacrificed herself for them

Imma be real with you chief... I can't say yet. Too many conflicting options, considering the possibility of a fake pregnancy

DOES HISTORIA HAVE FEELINGS FOR FARMER BOY? 1,144 Responses

With nearly 65% of the votes, most people do think Historia is using farmer boi, while around a fifth of all respondents thinks they are in fact working together and the pregnancy is just a ruse. A mere 10% thinks they are actually in love.

As much as I wished that they had at least become friends and agreed on the pregnancy for some secret reason, what we saw so far of Historia makes it look like it's much more likely that she is indeed using him.

He's a willing conspirator due to his old guilt, regardless of the status of the pregnancy

I don't think she is using him, but she is not in love either.

It's complicated

She is using him to hide that Ereh is the dad.

The only person Historia loved and felt strong bond with was Ymir. She may like the farm boy but I highly doubt she is in love with him.

these questions are hard.

Wouldn't that be the twist no one is expecting? Someone in AoT actually fell in love and started a family?

WHO IS THE CLOAKED FIGURE WHO APPROACHED HISTORIA? 1,137 Responses

Half of respondents believe that Eren was the hooded figure who approached Historia. 33% believe Rogue’s theory that it was Yelena. A small percentage believe that it could have been Hange. Armin, Levi, and Floch were also popular write-ins! Quite a few people are also hopeful the ghost of Ymir came to have a chat with her.

I have no clue, tbh. But I think it's someone we don't expect yet.

Creeper in the bushes! Red herring!

idk honestly. Probably a random MP spy we will never see again.

I DONT FUCKING KNOW AND ITS KILLING ME

I have a feeling the cloaked figure is a red herring, maybe just a random person working at the orphanage.

I like the idea of Armin being the cloaked figure but idk what to think at this point, we really need Historia's POV.

If Historia truly is pregnant, I think the cloaked figure is just Rogue's imagination. If she is faking pregnancy, I think the figure is Eren.

Isayama

Ymir's ghost

HOW IMPRESSED WERE YOU WITH NILE STANDING UP FOR HISTORIA? 1,163 Responses

We’re happy to report that more than 50% selected “Bless this man for existing” when Nile stood up in defense of Historia.

Nile Dawk is underrated

Rogue is a dick

It was nice to see Nile again :D

IF THE SURVEY CORPS HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO TRY A DIPLOMATIC ROUTE FIRST, WOULD THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO STILL HAVE NEEDED TO HAPPEN? DO YOU THINK WAR WAS INEVITABLE? 1,144 Responses

We’re a pessimistic bunch. 64.2 % believed war was inevitable, but the many of the write-ins expressed that the attack on Liberio was not inevitable and probably made a bad situation worse.

How can you go for the diplomatic route when you're too underexploited to be either steamrolled by Marley or colonized by Hizuru?

I think conflict would be inevitable but diplomacy would've mitigated the damage dealt. It would've sparked off but I think in a different manner.

I think war was inevitable and the strike was necessary but I don’t feel great about Eren’s unilateral actions.

Invitable or not choosing the war path before anything else is never and will never be the right way

Liberio may not have happened, but the world was never going to accept paradis anyway and would have eventually attacked

My heart bleeds bc I think Eren done fucked up but a tiny voice in the back of my head is like 'what if eren and zeke really have the One True Master Plan after all and just can't/won't share any of it to take the burden themselves h ah ah pain one can really know war is inevitable until it breaks out.

Probably. If War still happened after a surprise peaceful meeting, they may have gotten sympathy from the public.

There has to be some universe in which war is not inevitable. Nothing controlled by people should be considered inevitable until it's happened.

War was sadly inevitable, but the attack was not.

DOES HIZURU HAVE ANY REAL INTENTION OF HELPING PARADIS OR ARE THEY ONLY INTERESTED IN RESOURCES AND THE RUMBLING 1,155 Responses

“They are only in it for themselves” is the strong fandom consensus with nearly 70% believing Hizuru has no interest in genuinely helping Paradis. 28.8% believe there may be be a little sincerity in their offer of help.

Hizuru's to-get list: resources, rumbling, Mikasa.

We don't know her real motives but there must be something she's hiding or something she wants for her people in all of this. Everything comes at a price, maybe she'll ask something horrible in exchange for her help.

I think there's still more to Hizuru's intentions that we have not been shown. I still think Kruger and Kiyomi are somehow connected.

This is Kiyomi helping Paradis in the name of Hizuru behind the actual nation ruler. She has her Seacret plan.

They are in it mostly for themselves and I personnaly think that Mikasa is the only reason they don't sell them out

HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, IF ONE OF THE 104TH ARE TO INHERIT EREN’S POWER, WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE BEST CANDIDATE? 1,148 Responses

Jean’s convincing arguments resonated with most respondents, with 54.8% choosing him. Armin was a close second, with folks wanting him to take on the quadrupel duty of holding 4 titans at once.

Eren cared, but he changed a lot... and that is here the possibility of someone eating him really soon ( i mean they gave us a flashback entirely focused on who will eat him, this is just a huge death flag to me).

I was honestly confused why Armin wasn't considered an option to inherit the titan, since Erens main concern is not shortening anybody's lifespan but Armin doesn't have to worry about that....

Depending on how the story develops, I think Eren would choose either Floch or Falco as the successor of the Attack-Founder Titan. Doubtful that he'll actually pass it on, though.

Theory: Eren doesn't want anyone to inherit his titan, he wants to get this whole war business over before his time runs out

Jean confessing that he'd eat Eren gave me life

WHO HAD THE BEST REACTION TO EREN’S CONFESSION? 1,159 Responses

Nearly half of voters enjoyed Jean calling Eren out for making the atmosphere awkward with his confession all the while blushing himself. 28% of respondents appreciated Mikasa’s knowing smile and blush.

Eren is wholesome. He and his squadmates are precious. I wish eternal happiness for them (Sasha in food heaven).

All good. All also gay. (especially the Erejean)

Eremika and Springles on one page oh my fucking god

WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THE FLASHBACK? 1,156 Responses

The responses are fairly evenly divided on this question, with slightly more than half saying the flashback was to show Eren still cares about his friends and reinforce his humanity. The other half consisted of those saying Eren changed, and a good portion of write-ins that felt the flashback fulfilled both purposes.

Both to show how much he changed, and to prove he still cares for his friends

To convey how serious the situations become that it's bringing if he cares or not into question

To. Make. Us. Cry. By drowning us in angst.

To show that Eren's not fully in control of his own mind. The WH and the Founder worked together to through Paradis under the bus 100+ years ago and now BOTH are in his head messing him up through P A T H S.

Both. Neither. I don't even have a red sunset as an excuse for my red cheeks. That entire scene was so adorable!

I think it was to show how much their whole situation has changed. It was also probably Yams adding some more salt to the wound. It'd be nice if he were less of a sadist.

DOES EREN STILL PRIORITIZE HIS FRIENDS? 1,154 Responses

78% of voters total believe that Eren still prioritizes his friends, however 41% of the total votes believe that it’s not with the same intensity as it was in the flashback. 15% of voters think Eren is no longer the Eren we knew and does not care for his friends anymore.

Not enough information to say one way or the other. Liberio indicates complexity in how Eren shows he cares

He cares about them as much as he did before and so he's willing to sacrifice everything for that sake, including their trust.

Yes, but he isn't the person he was, so his prioritizing will look different.

As already said, I think he is convinced he does, but loses the sight of the greater good.

Eren is a lost cause.

He cares about them even more than before. His time's running out, he sees them about to return to the old cycle, and he wants to settle things while he still can

I think *Eren* still prioritizes his friends. How much of Eren is still in there.... that I'm not so sure of.

He might still be doing it all to protect those he cares about, but he's now willing to put their life in jeopardy to accomplish his goals if he has to.

I Think he prioritises his goals but based on his reaction to Sasha’s death, I think he still cares for them but he is clouded by whatever his end-goal is.

yes...as sacrifices

i think he's being driven to madness. he's pressuring himself to a huge extent to keep everyone he cared so much about safe and out of harm, and it's literally driving him insane. i think he laughed at sasha's death simply because the pressure is making him crack to the point where he can't even cry about it anymore. he's become so desensitized to losing after a short period of victory at the start that it just seemed inevitable. of course he lost someone, of course he failed, he's going to die anyway what's it going to matter? we only hear from connie that he laughed as a response, so we don't know what was going through his mind at the time, but the long and short of it would be that yes, i do think eren still prioritizes his friends. however, he's lost his belief in himself to keep them safe and may have given up on their happy ending long ago now.

FROM THE PRESENT DAY 104TH CONVERSATION, WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS DO YOU BELIEVE ARE MOST LIKELY TRUE 1,159 Responses

Most believed there was a lot truth in the 104th conversation. The two options most people found fault with where “Eren is responsible for Sasha’s death” and “If Eren is against them, he should be replaced”.

Eren is on side that has the best chances of his friends ending alive, but that isn't his friends' side.

I'd rephrase two of those options. I believe Armin DOES want to save Eren, but unlike Mikasa, he has a contingency plan -replace Eren if he refuses to cooperate. I think Armin would keep that as the last option, and would only go for it if there literally isn't any other choice. So yes, he *is* trying to save Eren, because that option hasn't been barred yet. I also think Eren *thinks* he's on their side, whether or not everyone else thinks so or not.

Eren is so f*cked up cuz he has 3 titans. Being one of them the founder Titan complicates things.

I think Eren is & isn’t on their side. One of his goals is to protect them at all costs, but he may have to do some things they are against in order to achieve those goals.

Eren was willing to sacrifice his humanity for the lives of his friends

Eren is plotting a Zero Requiem and is willing to distance himself

I am neutral Switzerland.

WHAT DOES THE NEW 3DM GEAR REMIND YOU OF? 1,153 Responses

Nearly 50% of the people who answered this question refused to see anything phallic in this panel, and decided to call us perverts instead. To that we say: a dirty mind is a joy forever ;) Over 30% just had one question: But why? To the remaining 20%: you are our people. Thank you!

You polls people are perverted and I'm here for that.

Erenstans can suck my 3DMG 2.0

The new 3D gear is clearly a reference to the acclaimed Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon.

WHAT’S YOUR REACTION TO THIS PANEL? 1,156 Responses

32% of respondents just want someone to give Eren a reason to smile again, 30% are uneasy about Eren’s stare and believe he is no longer on Paradis’ side. 23% of voters would love to be mean-mugged by Eren all day and 13% of voters wished he would have been given shoes instead of a shirt.

Blushing Young Eren: A blushing baby who I want to adopt! Mean staring Adult Eren: Holy Bloody Mary on a pogo stick, he's making ME blush!

Is Eren wearing the same shirt as when he was a kid? Was he wearing it all the time?

Eren's prison bed is way too long

i'm tired of Eren's angry stare, I want to find out what's his deal, and him to go out from that prison, I swear to God, he spends like 30% of this manga either kidnapped or in prison, he is 19 and was 3 times arrested and 3 times held against his will by various captors.

I just hope that Eren can prove that he is on their side because I know he will always care about his friends.

WHAT’S YOUR REACTION TO THIS PANEL? 1,160 Responses

Reiner’s burst of motivation and drive has you all split - either for Reiner to go rescue the kids or for him to stay away from Paradis for good! (PS all of you that didn’t answer Pound Me are lying to yourselves)

All aboard the Paradis Feels Train, next stop Reiner's Suffering.

LET REINER HAVE CUSTODY BACK OF HIS CHILDREN.

Reiner is a sexi boi

REINER SAVE YOUR BABIES

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE REINER’S PRIMARY MOTIVATION IS TO RETURN TO PARADIS? 1,164 Responses

The vast majority thinks Reiner’s main motivation is rescuing the two little rascals, but 27% thinks he wants to face Eren one last time. A small part also thinks Reiner will live up to his role a traitor and will switch sides again. Then there’s the folks that believe Reiner stopped being suicidal. If only everyone would have such optimism.

His hands are overflowed with strength, his eyes are filled with resolve and will to live - what a great timing for Isayama to make a new round of suffering for Papa Braun

Reiner wants to return to paradis because it is a suicide mission.

I hope that this time Reiner is not going to cause more problems and fight to Eren and SC. I hope he has learnt something, understood his mistakes and is going to walk on the right path.

I can't wait to see Reiner becoming Helos

I really want a reunion of Reiner and the 104th kids ok

I wouldn’t be surprised if Reiner’s main motivation for returning to Paradis so quickly is to save Gabi and Falco, but then...I’m tempted to believe there’s more to it than that, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there IS more to it either. Maybe he still wants Eren to kill him, or maybe he suddenly feels that he has to die on Paradis and he wants to get it over with quickly, or maybe there’s just some other shit on his mind that might surprise us at least a lil bit, I don’t know.

Papa Reiner just wants to save his children. He has no alignments anymore. He just wants to keep his kids safe and die already. I'm crying over mY SON REINER JUST LET HIM BE HAPPY.

Reiner please stop scarring yourself by putting yourself at war with paradis consistently omg

Reiner just wants to suffer

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES

Most people who took this poll primarily discuss the chapter contents on Reddit, while around 1 out of every five people roams on Tumblr, with Discord taking a distant third place. From now on we’re only going to allow one choice for this question, to see if we can find some major differences between platforms. Thank you for your cooperation!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

bitccchhh where do i even start

Really great chapter, felt like one of those that needs to happen so that you get everyone's perspective before something major happens.

No one knows what's going on except those damn Jaeger Bros.

Armin said Zeke and Eren had a jaegertalk but nobody knows what they talked about....so....that can't lead anywhere good

Save Gabi from Paradis? Please. More like save Paradis from Gabi, amirite?

Good chapter, I just wish it was longer. So far we've had every chapter consist of a mix between flashback and present time. While I appreciate the flashbacks, I hope we get back to more present time soon so the story can move forward at a quicker pace. I really wanna know the full details of Historia's situation and also when tf is Annie coming back for real it's been 4 stinking years…

It was absolutely great. The juxtaposition of the sweet moments the 104th cadets used to have just one year ago with the atmosphere of hatred and distrut towards Eren that dominates now is heart-breaking. Other than that, the father story is really fishy, especially because it was told from an outsider's perspective. as opposed to say, Historia's. I honestly believe the father is someone else and farmer-kun is just a cover up.

(About Eren's panel) he has been wearing the same shirt since he was 10

Loving the Paradis flashbacks after a year of being willing to sell my soul for them.

I feel it's a bit ridiculous to say that none of Eren is left in there. My interpretation of his character post-basement thus far hasn't been that far from his post uprising personality. The difference is that he seems more at a loss for alternatives and even more determined to finish things by any means necessary (if that's even possible). But, I do think he's got some secrets to rival zeke's.

I have high expectation on Gabi. Her arc began from a rather generic/metaphorical one yet it's become more and more emotionally relatable and unpredictable. I once thought Falco was the core of Marley arc but now it looks like he might be the one who is more of the story tool among them.

I cannot believe that something that happened like 70+ chapters ago (Sasha saving that little girl) will be pivotal for the ending. Sasha truly was the real MVP.

104th don't know that real meetings are done with chairs, not couches and armchairs!! Kids, that's not how you were thought to do things.

It was an interesting chapter. We had more explanation, but even more questions to ask: why is Historia's pregnancy fishy, who suggested her to do it, why did Eren attack Marley, what happened that made him even more angry, and turned him into a mass murderer, what is going to happen in sasha's house and how is Marley going to counterattack.(and where is floch) It's getting even more interesting, and I really can't wait to see how Isa is going to explain and unfold all this

I liked the Connie dark moment. He finally got some attention from Isayama. I thought that he was totally forgotten. I wish Connie shown his other sides more often. He is way too good, calm and pure.

I have my doubts about Armin's theory that "when Zeke and Eren activate the Coordinate, Eren will be the one in control," because unlike Smiling Titan who was mindless, Zeke is a Titan Shifter.

Really bummed with Historia's story right now. Why not have Zeke bang a ton of women instead?

EAST SEA CLAN CONSPIRACY THEORY INTENSIFIES AAAAAYYEEEEKKK

Eren brought this on himself. Getting devoured is only facing the consequences of his actions. I hope Mikasa is the one that kills him in the end.

Eren is not father, but cloaked figure is definitely him.

Everyone in this chapter is precious and people can fight me on this. And I'm looking forward to what Hottie Eren bun has to say!

Honestly, I feel like we as readers are still quite in the dark on character motivations, like Eren and Zeke's so a lot of these questions I am conflicted on. I mean that in a good way.

We still haven't heard a lot from Zeke and Levi present day, I really hope it's coming soon. And someone needs to go and talk to Eren! (other than Hanji)

I’ve already called it, but I’m calling it again for record keeping purposes: Historia is going to die in childbirth.

I'm very, very glad that some members of the SC and 104th are starting to wake up and realize that Eren isn't in control of himself and therefore dangerous. I'm fascinated to see which path this takes them down.

I think at this point, Eren is simply fighting for what he thinks is correct, period. It's black and white. Eren probably doesn't see them as right and if they aren't, they are obstacles to overcome. If that is the case, Paradis cannot continue to cling to him. Hence why I can understand Armin saying the things he did.

I honestly don't think Gabi and Falco's lunch will be focused on Gabi suddenly feeling sorry for Sasha after a sad story. After all, she has her own grudge (Zofia -who has the same hair than the girl-, Udo, the gatekeepers...). If anything, this dinner party is here to tell us how Ragako was titanized, and how Zeke intends to spread the virus through food. Enjoy your meal!

Still hoping to see Levi knee Zeke in the face

Isayama is trying to kill me. The eremin/ema talk next chapter, if we really get one, is going to kill me. I will be dead. By isayama's hand. Killed.

I'm betting my pizza, my cat, whatever that this freaking monkey is pulling a ragako 2.0!

One of the best moments was when Gabi asked Falco why he’s following her because HE doesn’t have to die. She genuinely cares about him.

Jean leaning back was the best panel ever drawn

Mikasa in the little ponytail reminded me about how gay I was

can Levi kill Zeke already?

Where is Floch???

All of the above except Zevi

That’s all for this month! Thanks again to everyone who participated. We’ll see you again for chapter 109!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #poll results

115 notes · View notes

btsrabbithole · 6 years

Text

Ok so let me just report here as well my experience at the 181013 Love Yourself Tour show in Amsterdam. You can find all about it also here and here; if you already read what I wrote there, this is basically the same thing so don’t even bother lol.

First of all I have to tell you that the night before the concert me and my friend @hforhoseok went out of town to spend the night with some of my dutch friends and we came back at 4AM, so we actually slept 4 hours and arrived at the Ziggo Dome at 11 basically still hangover.. do NOT recommend lmao. Once there, the line was soo long, but pretty nice.. the weather was so good and the people around me were mostly chill! It looked like a festival, also because so many of us were wearing yellow clothes and flower crowns. I didn't even bother to go in line for the BTS studio since I would've had to stand in that line for about 3 hours, and the line for the ot7 picture was also too long, so I just gave up.. I wanted to keep my strenght for the actual show! I already kinda expected it so it was fine. Of course when they opened the gates at 5PM it was a bit chaotic, but nothing too extreme; the only problem was that when we were almost there they put us in three parallels lines so they didn't really respect a first comes first serves rule.. also the ground near the entrance was disgusting!! I really don’t get the whole camping thing, but if you wanna do it at least clean after yourself.. but whatever. Once inside, I kinda sprinted towards the spot I wanted to be in, so near the extended stage on the right, and I was pretty close considering I came there not so early!! Also once again I was surrounded by the chillest and nicest people ever. While waiting for the actual show to start they played the usual mvs, and I know we say this every time but it really felt like a cult because everyone knew all the songs and fanchants!! It’s just something I'll never get used to.

Now, talking about the actual concert!! I’m not gonna talk about every song they did or this would be an endless post lol. But let me just start by saying that when they came out it was CRAZY!! They looked so small to me since I was by the extended stage, but still I could not believe I was actually seeing them with my own two eyes. When they introduced themselves I finally saw them a little bit better and WTF they looked like gods, it's honestly unfair. Hearing Hoseok doing his “I’m your hope..” bit was also unreal!! I’ll post everything I recorded later on, but it’s not that much as I was either jumping and dancing like crazy, or in total shock and basically paralyzed.

It took me the entire Hobi’s and Jk’s vcr to realize... I was about to see Hoseok dancing and singing to Just Dance. Needless to say it was an otherworldly experience. I love that song so much and when he came to the extended stage I went batshit crazy. He’s born to be a performer. I love him so much!

Then it was Jungkook’s turn. Baby! He couldn't dance to Euphoria, even if for the rest of the concert he danced and walked around quite a bit. He sang so quietly yet so perfectly.. he eats cds for breakfast but we been knew. He took off his earpeace to hear us sing and it was so beautiful. I was in total awe.

With I NEED U (which was epic, everyone was singing every word of it) they all came on the extended stage, and let me tell you once again, they look unreal. They look so good, and as everbody always says, even better than what you see in pictures and videos. They try to look at us and have some kind of contact so much too! I'm pretty tall and I had shorter people before me, so I had so many eye contacts with them. I can’t believe I lived to tell the tale lol. When Hoseok first came to our side me and the girl beside me jumped so high waving and shaking our army bombs and he gave us the biggest brightest smile, like you know the one he does from one ear to the other, and istg I've seen the sun with my own to eyes and will never recover from it. But NEVER IN MY LIFE I would have thought that the person I was about to have the most interactions with was the one and only MIN YOONGI. Crazy!!! I guess they were all mostly looking at the very first rows or far away, while Yoongi was looking right in our area a lot more? And I guess as I was a bit taller we met eyes quite often!! Or at least that was my impression, but you can never tell for sure. Anyways I tried to sing my heart out every time he came close but idk if he noticed it lol. In any case I can’t believe I survived it.

Later on, Serendipity was so good. Jimin sang it so perfectly, and the way he dances is just so enchanting.. we were all singing it with him and he looked so happy. I hope he spent the best birthday ever. He deserve it all!!!

Right after that it was Namjoon’s turn, and WHEN I TELL YOU WE SCREAMED SO MUCH FOR LOVE. The people who said the crowd didn’t really cheered for him were clearly not there because everybody just sang it from start to finish! It was so loud and Joon looked so happy. I'm so damn proud!!!

When they came again to the extended stage though I got so mad because there were a couple of girls who held these damn banners for the entire time.. like that was SO smart.. I really couldn't see anything. So please just DON'T DO THIS.

But ps: yes I'VE SEEN JIN'S ABS AND WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM IT. The girl beside me was Jin biased and almost started crying lol.

The medley was so good and once again the crowd sang like crazy. We maybe didn't know all the fanchants, but we were singing along the entire songs so imo it was even better. In the words of Jeon Jungkook: it was LIT! I can’t even say anything about Baepsae because if you know me you know I’ve yet to recover from it. SHE’S MEDITATING (SHE’S DIED).

WELL then the next part of the concert is when I really ascended to another dimension. As I already said over and over I don’t know WHO THOUGHT THAT PUTTING SINGULARITY SEESAW EPIPHANY TTU AND TEAR one after the other was gonna be ok.. like it was a full on personal attack!! I knew I wasn't going to survive it and I didn't!!!

Singularity was insane. We screamed so much before it started and when it ended, but during the performance we were just in shock and total awe. Taehyung is truly a smooth motherfucker, he put a spell on the entire crowd and we were totally hypnotized by it. I still have chills thinking about it.. it’s one of my all time favourite songs so I still can’t believe I saw it live.

And YES I know there’s supposed to be Fake Love at this point BUT I unfortunately saw just the first seconds of it because one of the girls near me fainted and dropped her head on the ground! As I told you my area was pretty chill so she probably was too tired or dehydrated. Please be careful!! I hope she's ok. Anyways I saw the very first part of the choreography and the part in which Jimin “pulls” Hoseok up so I’m happy with it.

After that, it was Yoongi’s turn. Seesaw was so good!! He had so much fun with it. When he appeared on the couch the crowd went OFF. Can't believe I saw him doing his lil dance with my own two eyes! (sorry I’m probably repeating this every time but it’s just how I feel, I don’t mean to brag at all). I sang along to it as loud as possible and almost already lost my voice.

OOF then Epiphany started... and I still have chills!!! Jin is a damn vocal king, I love him so much. We sang along the entire song and it was so emotional!! Hearing so many people singing I'M THE ONE I SHOULD LOVE at once is just so powerful.

The Truth Untold right after was so so emotional as well. They sang it so beautifully and with so much passion, and we all sang along with them and cried. I just love them so much.

NOW, I don't even know how I can describe Tear but I’ll try. This is my friggin song. I was already crying after TTU and knowing Tear was coming I started bawling my eyes out.. then I saw the green lights and started shaking so much!! I had to take off my necklace, I dropped both my hair tie and my fan, I mean I was really going THRU IT. Tear means so much to me.. it was so good.. I met eyes with Yoongi once again while singing it and crying my eyes out and it meant the world. I just wanna thank them so much.

Ok then idk who thought of putting MIC Drop right after Tear because I was still in total shock and I had to start the fanchants while still shaking lmao!! But it was so cool. The crowd sang all the fanchants and they were all so hyped!! The choreo is so good too and dancing along to it was so fun. Insane!

When they came back after a little break it was kinda bittersweet, because I knew the concert was about to end. Still, So What was soo fun!! We went crazy and everybody was singing and jumping. So many of them came near us and it was the craziest experience!! Once again I had Yoongi right in front of me.. seriously don't know how I survived the night. OH also Jin sprinting to reach Taehyung for their usual bit was the funniest thing ever!! I didn’t see Jk doing the shoot dance tho :( , but I’m so glad he did!!

Then Anpanman was so nice!! They have so much fun with it and seeing so many people in the crowd making the superhero pose was the cutest thing ever. Also the Namjoon bit with Jimin was so sweet!

After that they started the ending ment and LMAO I mean I know we were in Amsterdam, but I think at least 50% of us if not more came from abroad, so I still don't know half of what they said because the translator was speaking in dutch. I still haven’t found translations if not for Jk’s ment, so please if you found some send them to me.. Anyways I kinda got something as dutch can be similar to english sometimes, and ofc I understood their english speeches BLESS THEM. They were so funny and cute. I may have written this already a thousand times but I friggin love them so much. Wen Jimin started his ment I wore the happy birthday glasses I brought and I think both he and Namjoon saw it and smiled!! ;____;

The last song was ofc Answer: Love Myself.. but I can’t really say anything about it if not that I was an emotional trainwreck. I didn't record anything because I wanted to enjoy every last moment to the fullest. I miss them already.

BUT! Let me tell you that when Namjoon came near us singing I basically serenade him the you've shown me I have reason I should love myself bit and told him thank you as many times as I could and sent him a couple of flying kisses and he looked so happy and proud :( . Istg it's so difficult to meet eyes with him but I’d like to think we at least got that moment.

And that sneaky motherfucker JUNG HOSEOK. He came near us and I jumped so much and sent him a thousand flying kisses and he frigging smirked at me and made the smuggest face I've ever seen in my life!!! Like HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE AFTER SOMETHING LIKE THIS. If anyone finds a video of him smirking like crazy while staying on the right side of the stage and wearing the white tshirt please send it to me!! I couldn’t find it anywhere.

Unfortunately I didn't make eye contact with either Taehyung or Jungkook, but they came close to us pretty often so this is more than enough!! Seokjin was one of the last of them who came nearby to say goodbye but he was just looking far away.. so I screamed the loudest KIM SEOKJIN!!! I could and he finally looked in our direction! He's truly worldwide handsome AND worldwide cutie guy.

And I guess that's it lol. I miss them. I'll never forget this. I hope I'll see them soon. They deserve everything and more. I love them so much!!!!!

14 notes · View notes

mysteli · 6 years

Text

Endless Summer Imperfect - Chapter 3

A/N: Real quick, just wanna say thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy! I reccommend reading the last chapters if you haven’t already! Enjoy!

Endless Summer Aftermath - Ending 1

Imperfect

Chapter 3 - Princess

Logan

She didn’t know what to say. The world around her had become nothing but a meaningless blur, including Sean’s faded out words. All she could was see him. Her man. Her husband. Her very own Jake McKenzie. The love of her life. The man she thought she’d never see again was stood before her. It was almost surreal, unreal, in fact. Her entire life, she’d never felt this attached to one man but for obvious reasons, she knew she’d never be able to let him go. And now, maybe she won’t have to.

Shifting her eyes slightly passed Sean, her ocean eyes trailed curiously over Jake’s familiarly rugged exterior. Strands of his sandy fawn hair drifted down his forehead, landing over his eyes, but they still didn’t hide the glow in his cerulean eyes. That glisten that could hypnotise anyone who got too close. His olive, tan skin. The military dog tags that dangled from his neck. His memorable khaki jacket. Memories suddenly flooded Logan’s mind. Memories of when Jake would lend her his jacket when she was cold and the special moment when he gave her the dog tags to show her how much he loved her.

Reliving those treasured moments, she smiled softly, still gazing at Jake as he trudged over to the bar, sending suspicious glances at anyone that passed him. Despite the new timeline, the new world and Jake’s unlikely remembrance, Logan knew he was the same guy. The same guy she fell in love with and she was determined to make sure it ended the way they wished it did the first time. An ending where they end up together forever.

All of a sudden, a loud voice disrupted Logan’s longing stare down at her husband, who was sipping on a bottle of whiskey, acting so... obvious. Immediately, Logan shifted her gaze by to Sean, who was eyeing her bewilderedly, eyebrows raised.

“...You okay there, Lo? You kinda zoned out for a second.” Sean pointed out, a genuine look of concern crossed his face, planting a weight of regret on Logan’s shoulders. All she wanted to regain her friendship with Sean, not leading him on only to let him down very uneasily. It took her a moment to respond and cure his worries, her eyes constantly flicking from Jake to Sean.

“I’m... great, actually. I think I just need a drink. How about I go get us a round from the bar?” Logan suggested, a forced smile fixed on her lips. In time, she’d attempt to rebuild her friendship with Sean. Right now, all she wanted was Jake.

“You know, we can just order drinks.” Sean pointed out, pointing to a nearby table, where a waiter is passing drinks to a middle-aged couple. Not sure what to say, Logan chuckled lightly, the nerves fighting to escape their protective cage.

“Oh please, I insist. What do you want?” She insisted, instantly standing up and checking the bar to make sure Jake was still there. A sigh of relief was released when she caught sight of him once more, a few empty glasses next to him. Of course, he was drinking away his troubles.

“Alright then, I’ll have a vodka. Hurry back.” Sean responded, a hint of suspicion in his eyes. He hunted in his pockets for some money but Logan shook her head, smiled lightly and made her way over to the bar, her legs starting to shake and weaken the closer she got to Jake.

He remained seated on a creaky bar stool, constantly sipping from a bottle of whiskey. Unfazed, no emotion touched his eyes. However, his eyes watered now and then from the strong affect of the whiskey he was repeatedly drinking.

Finally, on limited balance, she reached the bar, sitting two seats away from Jake, making sure she wasn’t getting too close for comfort. Noticing her, the bartender approached Logan, eyeing her expectantly, while cleaning a glass with a cloth.

“A vodka and a... whiskey, please.” Logan asked politely, her order seeming almost instinctive as she glanced at Jake’s half-consumed bottle. It must have been his third one. In response, the bartender nodded nonchalantly before preparing to make the drinks. An awkward feeling suddenly reached Logan, as she kept a close eye on Jake, whose expression remained still. Her deep thoughts were interrupted by a familiar husky voice ringing in her ears.

“Whiskey. Good choice.” The voice muttered, almost as if he was congratulating her. Of course, that raw voice belonged to Jake McKenzie. Her sapphire gaze darted over to him, only to find him squinting at her, almost as if he was trying to figure her out.

Logan was so starstruck by the situation and she didn’t know what to say. Hell, she couldn’t process the entire situation. Seeing him again was so damn overwhelming that she felt like she couldn’t form words anymore. In the end, she decided to play it like she did when they first met.

“I always thought so.” She agreed, retrieving the glass of whiskey once it was placed onto the bar by the bartender. In the corner of her eye, she could feel Jake staring at her intently, as she sipped her glass of whiskey very slowly, her pale hands shaking slightly. Her nerves seemed to be getting the best of her at that moment. Everything still didn’t make sense. Finally, she turned to face him but his eyes didn’t shift away from her. “Who are you staring at?”

Jake couldn’t help but chuckle at her obvious sarcastic response. His laugh was the exact same, like everything else about him was.

“Oh yeah, I was checking out that painting of that ship, of course. I think I might have a chance.” Jake joked, turning his attention from the alcohol in front of him for the first time and focusing on Logan, watching her giggle lightly at his unusual comment. “Huh. You like that joke, Princess?”

Oh. My. God. Princess. Jake called her Princess. Why the hell would he call her Princess? Maybe this was what was meant to happen or maybe it was just a coincidence. A misunderstanding. Like most things seem to be. Or maybe it meant something. Something important. Maybe he feels familiar with her. Maybe there’s some part of him that remembers. At that moment, all Logan wanted to do was relive their first interaction.

“Princess?” She enquired, a sly smirk crossing her lips and Jake scanned her briefly. He seemed like he knew what was going to happen next. Like he was aware of how Logan would act and what she would say. But in the best way possible.

“What can I say? I give nicknames to people that annoy me.” Jake follows up with the same line he delivered on the plane to La Huerta. It caused shivers to scramble up and down Logan’s spine, especially when it came to how he said it. It gave her the same feeling it did the first time. Anticipation like she’d never felt it before. The first time, she wasn’t aware of what exactly the feeling was but he’d affected her with it so many times, it practically came naturally now.

A huge part of her wanted to continue to play the conversation out the same as the first time. But a small part wanted to explore other options and lead back to that key interaction.

“Oh, so I annoy you then?” Logan enquired, folding her arms dramatically and faking an insulted expression. Jake couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped his slightly chapped lips at her exaggeration.

“Everyone annoys me, Princess. You’ll learn that soon enough.” Jake retorted, dropping his voice to a raw, captivating whisper. Almost instinctively, he retrieved his many bottles of whiskey from the bar and scooted over to the next seat, closer to Logan, which caused the hairs on her arms to stand up. Once he reached the seat beside her, he smirked at Logan, raising his glass towards her, offering a toast. “To annoying people...”

“And plenty of whiskey.” Logan finished the toast, a genuine smile crossing her lips for the first time in a while. This was all she ever wanted. Was to see Jake Mckenzie. All she’d done this entire month was miss him and it pained her to assume that she’d never see him again. But now, here she is, graced with his presence once more.

“So... what are you doing at a a place like this, Princess?” Jake questioned, leaning his folded arms against the edge of the bar, eyeing Logan expectantly.

It took her a moment to think about her response, as she didn’t know if she should lie or tell her truth. However, an instinct inside prevented her from wanting to lie to Jake. “Actually, I’m on a date.” She admitted, tossing a strand of her platinum hair behind her ear, seeming slightly embarrassed.

“A date?” Jake reacted, raising an eyebrow at Logan, clearly surprised but the smirk remained locked on his face. “Yet you are sitting at the bar with... me, for some reason, instead of enjoying your time here with your date. Hell, I don’t blame you. He shouldn’t bring a Princess to this dump of a place. The whiskey’s so damn sour.” Just as Jake finished his complaining, the bartender looked his way, eyes narrowed. Unfazed, Jake shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, slumping back like it never happened. Amused, Logan couldn’t help but let out a light giggle.

“Clearly my real name doesn’t matter to you.” Logan pointed out, folding her arms at his constant use of the nickname, acting irritated but really... she loved it.

“I don’t know your real name.” Jake retorted, his smirk widening, as he chugged down some more of the whiskey. With that, Logan did the same, trying to hide her sheepish smile behind the glass. “The name’s Logan. Logan Mercer.” She said to a smug Jake, her tone low and forced, almost mocking. At that point, Jake let out a chuckle that was louder than intended.

“Chill out, James Bond.” He joked, relaxing his expression and returning to his unfazed state. “Besides, I still prefer Princess.”

At that comment, Logan felt like her heart was about to explode. It was all those first feelings all over again. He had revisited all the things that made her fall in love with him in the first place. If only he knew what was going on in her head, how fast her heart was beating, how much she loved him. If only he... remembered.

“Fine. I’ll let you call me Princess if I get to call you something in return.” She suggested, attempting to bargain with Jake in an unusual way. She arched her eyebrows slightly and his surprised expression told her that he was definitely intrigued.

“Alright then. Do your worst.” He dated her, smirking devilishly once more. By then, Logan immediately knew what she wanted to call him. How about we revisit some old classics? She thought to herself, a sly smirk of her own slowly forming.

“I’m gonna call you Aragorn.” She finally revealed, her voice dropping to a whisper, clearly affecting Jake. For a moment, he closed his eyes and released a heavy sigh, which felt like a puff of smoke in Logan’s face. Shaking off the feeling, he chugged more of his whiskey, more forcefully than before.

“Aragorn? I... don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jake muttered, his cerulean eyes falling to stare at the rusty floor of the restaurant and Logan knew exactly what to say next. She loved this moment they shared, how Jake’s first feelings came into play, even if he didn’t notice what was happening at first. Most of this was terrifying and heartbreaking but some part of Logan was excited to relive it all, if Jake would let her.

“Lord of the rings?” She enquired, holding back a laugh when she noticed how Jake’s sapphire eyes rolled. He was definitely blocking a chuckle too.

“Nope. Never heard of it.” He dismissed the entire idea and Logan accidentally slipped out a soft giggle and Jake instantly knew she was playing with him.

“You’re a bad liar.” She pointed out, leaning her head against her fist that was rested on the edge of the bar. Her every move caused unusual feelings to jolt through Jake and he didn’t like it.

“Fine. Call me Aragorn. I like it. Man was a badass.” Jake finally stopped protesting and gave in, literally throwing his hands up in complete and unconditional surrender. Like he would only do for her. Suddenly, he leaned forward, getting slightly closer but still too far away for Logan’s liking. “Your date’s staring at us.”

A wave of realisation washed over Logan. She forgot all about Sean. Cautiously, she swerved around to meet his wary gaze, as he watched Logan and Jake carefully, eyeing Jake especially. For some reason, she didn’t care but she knew that her plan to regain all friendships would be harder if she messed up this date.

“How’d you know that was my date?” She questioned, flicking her gaze back to Jake, who seemed surprised at her lack of interest in her own date.

“He keeps glaring at me and checking you out, might I add.” Jake acknowledged, his smirk widening once more and he stroked his subtle stubble thoughtfully, flicking his gaze from Sean to Logan repeatedly. “He looks kinda familiar.”

“That’s cause that’s Sean Gayle. I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of his football games.” Logan stated, clearly hinting something and referencing back to Jake being a super fan of Sean. A teasing look reached her ocean eyes and he furrowed his eyebrows at her.

“Damn. That’s him. He’s not as pretty as he is on the TV.” Jake pointed out, scanning Sean briefly before accidentally speaking his thoughts aloud. His face went red momentarily but he immediately relaxed when heard a playful giggle escape from Logan.

“I guess he’s okay.” She responded, running a hand through her radiant, blond hair and taking a deep breath, almost as if she didn’t wanna go back, which she didn’t. All she wanted to do was stay and talk to Jake, continue to reconnect with him. She was sure he didn’t want her to leave either. “I’d better go back. I promised him a vodka.” She admitted reluctantly, standing up from the extremely creaky stool. One last time, she scanned Jake’s exterior, wanting to be familiar with his appearance again. Soon, she realised she’d been staring much longer than intended.

“Princess, you still with me?” Jake questioned, waving his hand at her repeatedly. His words sparked another memory in Logan’s mind. That event when they were in search for the island’s heart, in order to save Quinn’s life. That blinding light struck them all once they’d found it and she remembered the feeling of Jake’s hand entwining with hers and his words echoing in her ear over and over again.

You still with me, Princess?

“Logan?” Jake’s husky tone snapped her out of her trance and returned her to the unbearable reality that she was forced to suffer in because of a stupid and pathetic choice she made. “You alright?”

“Just... peachy.” Logan assured, grabbing the glass of vodka and a glass of whiskey from the bar. Well, the only one that was actually full. However, deep down, she didn’t wanna leave. Honestly, all she wanted was hold Jake again, kiss him again and hear him say that he loves her. What if she never sees him again after this? What if he up and leaves and moves on? She started to turn away but then remembered something and met Jake’s eyes one final time. “By the way, I never got your name.”

“I thought it was Aragorn.” Jake joked, folding his arms in an amused manor, his smirk relaxing slightly. A teasing look dominated his cerulean eyes.

“Your actual name.” She corrected, expecting him to make that joke. However, she laughed it off easily. Jake seemed to consider it for a moment, uncertain what to say. Of course, he was contemplating whether he should give Logan his real name or not. It was obvious. It was all over his face. The questions practically popped out of his head. Logan expected something fake or made up but his next response took her completely by surprise.

“The name’s Jake. Jake... McKenzie.” He admitted, smiling genuinely for the first time. Logan tried her to best to keep her jaw from dropping and keep her eyes from widening, as she knew it would reveal to Jake that she recognised him as a the great criminal. Instead, she sighed in disbelief. Jake didn’t just tell his first name, he told her his full name. The main way that people recognise him. Maybe she thought Logan would understand or just felt like he had to tell her for reasons he can’t explain. Or maybe it was accidental. Who knows?

“See ya round, Aragorn.” Logan waves at him before making her way back to Sean, who she almost completely forgot about.

As expected, Sean greeted her with narrowed eyes, clearly not impressed with her momentary disappearance. Silently, she placed the glass of vodka in front of him, the extremely strong smell diving up her nose as she did. Then, she made her way to her seat and sat down back down, placing her half-full of whiskey on the edge of the table, not bothering to get a coaster. An uncomfortable minute of silence overwhelmed the two of them, like they were mourning the loss of the once-pleasing aura of their date. At this point, all Logan wanted to do was leave but at the same time, she wanted to help Sean.

— Sean Finally, Sean relaxed his chestnut gaze, slumping his shoulders, unsure what to say. He was confused and felt like he had lost his mind. Why the hell did it bother him that she was talking to another guy? This date just seemed like a rebound anyway but maybe Sean didn’t want it that way. Honestly, truthfully, it really didn’t bother him that.

Because this was his first date since Michelle, he wanted it to work. He didn’t want it to mess up since he was actually attracted to Logan. He actually liked her. But you know it’s a huge red flag when it doesn’t affect you when your date is interacting with a stranger at the bar. Maybe this was a mistake. However, Sean would want nothing more than to become friends with Logan.

Another moment of silence invaded and Logan’s face fell even more, the awkwardness getting to her head. Finally, Sean cleared his throat.

“So... who were you talking to?” He asked, trying to keep his voice and body language as idle as possible. A sigh of relief was released by Logan, as the anxiousness in her eyes died down but didn’t completely disappear. It took her a long moment to respond and think about her answer.

“Nobody. Just an... old friend of mine.” Logan muttered, her voice shaky and lost in her own words. Despite her attempts to cover it up, it was clear that she was lying. Slightly suspicious, Sean furrowed an eyebrow at her.

“An old friend or an old boyfriend?” He enquired, his gaze falling to stare hopelessly at the table. This was going much worse than he ever imagine. Struck by his words, Logan closed her eyes, releasing a sigh of shame.

“You got me. This isn’t going too well, is it?” She assumed timidly, dusting her shoulders as if she was dusting away her nerves. It was obvious she was thinking the same thing as Sean. They both wanted to end this as politely as possible cause that’s just the type of people they were.

“I think we both know it’s not.” Sean pointed out and Logan nodded fairly quickly, looking relieved that it wasn’t just her who thought that. With that, Sean sheepishly gazed at the table again, awaiting for Logan to get up and leave. However, a minute passed and she remained seated in front of him when he lifted his eyes back to her.

“How about... we don’t class this as a date anymore? Let’s just call it friends hanging out, since we know this isn’t very... romantic.” Logan suggested, folding her arms and smiling sweetly. With a sigh of relief, Sean nodded, pleased that she wasn’t completely irritated with his company and he loved knowing that she wanted to be friends.

“I’d like that.” He agreed, returning with a genuine grin of his own, grateful that Logan was staying. However, his smile faltered when he noticed how Logan took one last glance at the bar, realising that the stranger she was talking to before... was gone. It took her moment to turn back and she forced a smile weakly.

For the next hour or two, Sean and Logan spent the time chatting and discussing with one another. It was quite pleasant and there were even a few laughs added in there. To Sean, it felt quite amazing to talk to a girl that didn’t want romantic intentions with him. He wasn’t used to girls just being friendly and not having to let them down nicely so it was nice to be able to just talk to someone normally, if you will and not have to think about anything.

Eventually, they both finished their food and exited the restaurant. After a short stroll to the dorms, they reached Logan’s room. They faced each other, smiling more than they had the entire time.

“I’m sorry it didn’t really work out... romantically.” Logan apologised, smiling reassuringly at Sean, who was admittedly slightly disappointed with the outcome of the no longer date.

“It’s cool. At least we can be friends.” Sean replied, shoving his hands in his pockets and allowing his shoulders to slump.

“I’d like that.” She confirmed, kissing Sean on the cheek sweetly, before gripping the handle of the dorm door. “Goodnight, Q.B.”

“Night, Lo.” Sean waved her goodbye, before watching her wander inside her dorm. After that, he sighed heavily, mentally kicking himself for being so... understanding. Why should he be? After all that, at least he gained a friend. A person he knew would be an amazing friend. However, that was the point, it ended with them being just friends.

Shaking off the weird feeling, Sean finally exited the dorms and made his way back to his own, knowing he wasn’t ready for a new relationship just yet.

Finally, he arrived to his own dorm and he lazily gripped the handle and opened the door. As soon as he waltzed inside, he caught a glimpse of his roommate, Craig, planted on his bed and playing video games, his dark eyes glued to the TV, as it reflected in them. It took Craig a while to notice Sean until he threw his jacket on Craig’s head, startling him.

“Hey, dude! What the hell was that for?” Craig complained, flicking his eyes back to the game he was playing. His eyes narrowed when he realised he had died. “Great. You killed me.”

Unfazed, Sean tried his best to hold back a chuckle as he threw himself on his own bed, rubbing his face tiredly.

“Sorry,” was all Sean replied with, not caring about being nice and polite anymore. He was tired of being the good guy or maybe that was just the alcohol talking.

“What’s up, bro? Did your date not go all?” Craig questioned in an obvious mocking tone. In response, Sean rolled his eyes, throwing a pen at Craig but he caught it before it could hit him. “Nice try.”

“It’s not that it didn’t go well. It just didn’t end like a date.” Sean admitted, not sure why he was telling Craig any of this. Then again, he was his best friend.

“Seriously? You got friend zoned by her? Usually, you’re the one doing that, bro!” Craig joked, laughing obnoxiously as he spoke. Irritated, Sean put his hands behind his head and leaned back against the headboard of his bed.

“I really don’t wanna talk about it.” Sean pleaded with Craig to not push the topic any further but when did he ever listen to anything anyone said.

“Oh come on, what kind of girl would turn down dating the quarterback?” Craig questioned, seemingly genuinely curious for once. He folded his arms, eyeing Sean expectantly. Reluctantly, Sean sat up and looked Craig dead in the eye.

“Her ex-boyfriend showed up and she ended up talking to him. Things kinda went downhill from there.” Sean admitted, stroking his jaw thoughtfully as he relived the uncomfortable few minutes. Then suddenly, something occurred to him. “The weird thing was... I sorta recognised him.”

“Recognised him? Why... did you date him as well?” Craig joked again, a goofy grin crossing his lips. Sean lashed another pen at him and Craig couldn’t think quick enough that time and it pounded his head. “Damn. Save your skills for the field, Sean.”

“I’ve never dated him. He just looked familiar to me.” Sean corrected, folding his arms and contemplating carefully.

“Maybe he just looks like someone you know. Just let it go, bro. It didn’t work out with you and Logan so it doesn’t matter anymore.” Craig assured, getting up and heading to the bathroom.

“I guess so.” Sean muttered, his voice so low that Craig couldn’t hear. For a moment, Sean just sat there, caution flooding his eyes. He wasn’t sure what to think about the situation but he was positive that he’d seen that weird man before. But where?

— Jake The next day arrived fairly quickly, the blinding rays of the sun overflowing in Jake’s eyes, even though he’d barely opened them. He hoped that the weather would be colder over here but it was still as sweltering as Costa Rica. Despite the fact that he was living in an abandoned alleyway, the sun still managed to find him in an instant. Well, it was a better job then the police’s attempts to find him. Everything felt so different now that he was back here. Everything was so... unfamiliar.

However, he’d been away for 5 years. Of course some things would be different. He still struggled to understand why he chose Hartfeld of all places. He felt drawn to it or maybe it was cause of how secluded it was, even though the news had managed to spot him almost immediately. But he couldn’t stop himself from going to the university. It was almost instinctive and he knows he shouldnt have done it but he couldn’t stop himself.

Then, there was last night and the mysterious princess he’d met. The princess that had been on his mind. The princess that intrigued him more than anyone ever had. The princess that made him want to risk everything just to see her. Everything was fine until she walked up to the bar and ordered a whiskey of all things. She was just different and interesting than anyone he’d ever met before and that drew him in more than anything. All he wanted right now was to see her but he couldn’t go out much. He was already shoplifting food and drinks in his black hoodie to make sure no one recognised.

Another reason he chose Hartfeld, terrible security.

Finally, on the sun’s insistence, he rose from the scatty and uncomfortable bench he’d been restlessly sleeping on. Lately, his energy had been critically low but he didn’t care. He only really counted on food to keep his going and that was mostly just a few odd apples and plenty of whiskey. At some point, he had some money but he wasted it all on whiskey last night. Well, Jake wouldn’t say wasted. It was for a good cause.

Reluctantly, Jake lifted himself up and leaned down to fetch the leftover whiskey he stole from the bad last night and chugging it down as if he was dangerously dehydrated, which he sort of was. But definitely not on whiskey. Just water, which he hadn’t consumed in days. Lately, Jake had been feeling hopeless, which wasn’t different than what he usually felt. But he felt lost. And it had been hard to survive since Mike disappeared. It had been for Jake to run since all he wanted was find his best friend. His brother, even. He wouldn’t have gotten through the last few years if it wasn’t for Mike and to leave and forget about him just seemed wrong.

See, this was the real reason why Jake came to the USA. Why he came to Hartfeld. Because of Mike. On the night he disappeared, Jake was left with a mere note to go off with the words Hartfeld. Immediately, Jake knew where that was, in the state he wasn’t supposed to go but he did anyway, to save Mike. What was worse was that Jake had no clue who wrote that. The most simple suspect would have been Mike himself but Jake refused to believe that he would just leave like that. Someone must had taken him or maybe Jake was being misunderstood, as usual.

Since then, Jake had refused to give up and all he could do was keep as low of a profile as possible. His main rule was to never reveal his real name. However, he kinda broke that rule last night, telling it to the mysterious princess. (He knew her name but he liked referring to her like that). It was odd, almost like an instinct. For some reason, he felt like he couldn’t lie to her. He felt like he had to tell her the truth and half of him regrets that choice. But the other half is begging to see her again. He just... feels like he knows her.

And maybe, somehow, on instinct alone, Jake has a feeling that she may be connected to Mike.

—

Grace Breathe. Just breathe. You’re gonna be fine. Grace continued to convince herself that all her troubles didn’t exist. That everything was gonna go exactly the way she wanted it to. Nothing was gonna get in the way. Her mother would understand because she loves her daughter.

That’s right, Grace was on her way to meeting her mother for a midday lunch. Her mother wanted to discuss her daughter’s “future”. Of course, Grace knew what her mother expected. For her to follow in the honoured Blair Hall’s groundbreaking footsteps and keep up with the traditions. But lately, Grace has had doubts. She’d never wanted to take over the business her mother created. It was never in the cards for her. And no matter her mother tried to convince her that it was the right path, Grace would never be persuaded. Right now, she didn’t know what she wanted but it definitely wasn’t this.

Since forever, Grace wanted to work for everything she had instead of allowing to be given to her. Her mother respected that, saying that Grace would have to work for the opportunity to take over the company. But was that really true? Because when Blair does retire, it will be immediately be given to the next heir. And that was, of course, Grace.

Grace continued to contemplate with herself, clutching the sides of her books tightly and pulling them against her chest. Nerves creeped up her arms and she struggled to form thoughts. She closed her eyes, trying to relax until...

BANG!

She slammed into someone and before she could regain her balance, her petite figure fell to the floor, her many books raining down with her - scattering.

“Oh. Are you alright?” A voice asked her in the most polite tone she’d ever heard. The helpful voice definitely belonged to an Englishmen, judging by the accent.

Rubbing her head, she glanced at the figure who had kneeled down beside her, some of her books he gathered for her to retrieve. Awestruck, she admired the extremely tall man in front of her.

He was quite pale and the sun illuminated that very well. With platinum blond hair and tinted blue eyes, he was one of the most amazing men she’d ever seen. Her huge, chestnut eyes widened with eagerness and intrigue, as she instinctively took his free hand, which he had held out to her.

“Excuse me? Are you... still here?” The English man asked, anxiousness rolling into his sky blue eyes. Realising how long she’d been staring, she snapped herself out of her trance, focusing her attention on the books he’d retrieved.

“Oh, are those my books?” Grace questioned, smiling at him weakly and his eyes dropped to look at him, the bright colours echoing at the sun.

“Um... yes. Here you are.” He muttered, coughing in order to clear his throat. Grace batted her eyelashes thankfully and obtained her books from him. They both eyed each other intently for a moment.

“...Thank you very much... umm...” Grace attempted to thank him, realising she was unaware of his name.

“...Aleister.” He answered, almost reluctantly which caused the joy in Grace’s heart to die slightly. He didn’t seem to like her or wanna talk to her.

“I’m Grace.” She returned the favour by telling him her name, cheering up slightly as she offered him a handshake. Rubbing the back of his head, he contemplated for a moment before returning the handshake which caused Grace to release a sigh of relief. It was like she’d been holding her breath that entire time.

“Nice to meet you, I suppose.” Aleister responded, his tone dropping the more he said and that hurt Grace a bit. Even a pigeon could tell he didn’t wanna be there. He just wanted to leave. “Nice to meet y-“

Before Grace could finish, Aleister chimed in, arching his eyebrows all of a sudden, anger and annoyance taking over his once nonchalant expression.

“You do know why I helped you, don’t you?!” He snapped, folding his arms in an arrogant manor. All Grace could was shake her head, confused and bewildered. “Well, let me enlighten you. It’s because you were in my way! Not because I wanted to be helpful. Am I clear?”

For a moment, Grace couldn’t speak. She didn’t know what to say. If she tried, it would just come out as a stutter.

“AM I CLEAR?!” Aleister shouted, his deafening tone screaming through the courtyard, causing a lot of faces to look their way. A redness reached Grace so she stared at the ground, completely embarrassed.

“Y-Yeah.” was all she managed to respond with, like the world was forcing her too. With that, she yanked the rest of her books from the floor and ran away, leaving Aleister left with angry glares going his way.

Once she reached a secluded corner at the side of the college, she took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears. But she couldn’t. She let them shower down her face and drown her in her own sorrow. It was stupid and pathetic as to why she was crying. But she didn’t care. How could someone being that cruel? What did she do wrong?

Now she was late for the lunch with her mother, so she dried her tears, tried to make herself look at least a little presentable and started towards the coffee house, shaking off the sadness as best as she could.

—

Logan

Later, Logan returned to her dorm, coming face to face with an empty room. Zahra must be out, she thought. That meant she had the whole place to herself for the night. So, she planned to distract herself with a good movie and lots and lots of snacks. Maybe some time alone would take her mind off things, especially that disastrous date with Sean. She didn’t even wanna think about it... or Jake, since she probably won’t be seeing him ever again.

Humming to herself, she wandered over to the window, gazing at the beautiful night sky, where the semi-full moon stood dominate and its worshippers, the stars, remained scattered across the sky. She prepared to close the lilac curtains until something unbelievable caught her eye. Jake McKenzie was wandering around the courtyard of the college?! Where there are security cameras EVERYWHERE?! And where ANYONE could see him and call the POLICE at any time?

Instantly, Logan’s jaw dropped and her ocean eyes narrowed, squinting to make sure it was him. And it was. She recognised that broad, chiselled figure immediately and the moon emphasised his fawn, sandy locks. He was wandering around in circles aimlessly, like he didn’t know he was going or why he was even there in the first place. Suddenly, he swerved around, his bright cerulean reflected by the glorious moon. His eyes focused on Logan whose was shook from the sight of him. Once he noticed her, a smile broke out on his face and his eyes lit up. Why was he happy to see her and what the hell did he want?

No, no. The real question was: Why was Jake McKenzie even here in the first place?

#Endless Summer #Jake McKenzie #Jake x mc #quinn kelly #estela montoya #sean gayle

29 notes · View notes

jennycalendar · 6 years

Text

buffy summers, muggle-born

read it on ao3!

read it on twisting the hellmouth!

SO I WROTE ALL OF THIS TODAY AFTER READING A BUNCH OF HARRY POTTER FIC AND GETTING NOSTALGIC. i’m feeling so self-satisfied right now. it’s unreal.

the premise: the scooby gang attends hogwarts with the golden trio! this is 100% the first in a long and ambitious and very adorable series; i have plans for a sequel involving tara that i will probably end up writing tomorrow. so i would definitely recommend reading this one.

Buffy heard the word Mudblood for the first time when she was trying on robes at Madam Malkin’s. Her mom had that continued look of vague confusion that she’d had ever since Buffy had gotten her Hogwarts letter, a look that seemed to be exacerbated by the droopy and not very stylish fit of Buffy’s robes. Buffy knew it would be pushing it to ask for some robes from Twilfit and Tatting’s, especially since she barely knew anything about this weird new world as it was, but some of the robes in there looked a little more comfortingly like dresses and skirts and things from Buffy’s reality—the one she knew much better.

So she was getting fitted, getting pricked a little by the pins, and this snooty-looking kid walked in, said very theatrically, “Good lord, they cater to Mudbloods here?” and ducked out to giggle with his friends, hurrying them along before Buffy could reply.

This was the very first time that Buffy considered—maybe not knowing a lot about this in her might be a disadvantage. New words to learn, new social niceties, new etiquette, new robes—she had planned to try out for her middle school cheerleading squad, this year. She had been so close to being in middle school, for crying out loud, something she’d been looking forward to since—kindergarten, probably, plus her mom had always said “bedtime is at nine-thirty until you’re at least in middle school, Buffy,” and how did that rule apply to weird magic boarding schools where they might call her a Mudblood and run away?

Before she even knew what the word meant, it had twisted itself into her being.

Xander had grown up hearing the word Mudblood. Sort of an “oh, at least we’re better than the Mudbloods” thing his lame-ass pureblood dad always said to his barely-listening pureblood mom, to make them both feel better about burning through their respective family fortunes before Xander was even born. They had never liked Willow, and she was a half-blood with a mom who was respected and active in the wizarding community—but all his parents cared about was Willow’s Muggle dad.

Personally, Xander liked Willow’s dad. Willow’s dad had been a college professor before meeting Willow’s mom, and now he was a spokesman for the Ministry and worked to better human-Muggle relations. He made nice cookies and he was gentle and kind with Willow, which was more than could be said for Xander’s dad. But that was something Xander didn’t like getting into.

Faith was an orphan. She didn’t like hearing everyone fussing over her in Diagon Alley like she was some charity case, and she definitely didn’t like the way people whisper about how “You-Know-Who was an orphan” because first of all, she didn’t know who, and second of all, so what if she wasn’t as friendly as all these weirdly dressed people expected her to be?

She figured she was a Mudblood, probably. She heard the word when she and the big groundskeeper guy were walking past Knockturn Alley, and she grabbed onto it and liked it. Faith had always had a habit for taking other people’s hatred and twisting it into something good—yeah, she was bad, but she was bad on her own terms.

She was eleven years old and this habit would stay with her for a very long time.

Professor Rupert Giles, History of Magic, was a pureblood of the old families with old money and an extensive knowledge of wizarding achievements throughout the ages. He, more than anyone, knew the value of Muggle-born contributions to wizarding society, and had forbidden the use of the word “Mudblood” in his classroom. He made it very clear that anyone who said it would be in detention for as long as Hogwarts policy would allow. It was a small gesture in the grand scheme of things, but it was still more than the other teachers did—they seemed to pretend the word itself didn’t exist. Professor Giles, more than anyone, knew that attempting to cover up the past would only end up hurting people in the long run.

History was about learning from one’s mistakes.

Platform Nine-And-Three-Quarters was busy and bustling on September the first, and there were whispers about a Boy Who Lived attending Hogwarts for his first year. Buffy, who didn’t have too much interest in boys at the moment (living or dead), was more invested in trying to find an empty compartment on the train, one where she could sit and enjoy the nervous excitement of going to a magic boarding school for a year. A free magic boarding school. Her mom had never wanted to pay for tuition for any boarding school, magic or not, but now Buffy got to have the full experience and it was—thrilling. She was thrilled.

Weaving through the train, she finally found a compartment that was relatively empty, at least in comparison to the rest of the packed train cars. The only occupant was a tiny redheaded girl, curled up with one of the Narnia books, and she looked up half-hopefully when Buffy came in.

“Is this—um, can I sit here?” Buffy asked a little awkwardly.

The girl blew out a breath and shut the book, looking somewhat sad. “Yeah,” she said.

“Are you okay?”

“My best friend isn’t here yet,” said the girl. “I think he’s sitting with a boy he met on the platform, and—and I’m his best friend.”

“If you’re his best friend,” Buffy pointed out (gently, because this girl seemed to need some delicate handling), “he’ll show.” The girl did look a little cheered by this, and Buffy took this opportunity to tug her trunk the rest of the way in and sit down. “You reading Narnia?”

The girl grinned a little. “You’re a—half-blood?” she asked, sounding hopeful.

“No, I have all my blood,” said Buffy earnestly.

The girl’s grin widened and she giggled. “No, I mean—is one of your parents magical, or are you the first in your family?” she asked.

“Oh!” Buffy giggled too. “I’m—the first,” she said, and almost mentioned the boy who called her a Mudblood, but it was beginning to sink in that the word meant something probably not very nice. “What would you call me, then, me being the first in my family to have magic?” she asked, a sort of litmus test.

“I don’t know,” said the girl. “I still don’t know your name.”

And that was how Buffy Summers and Willow Rosenberg became friends.

Xander showed up, out of breath and excitable, about ten minutes later, his new friend Jesse stumbling behind him. Jesse was a Muggle-born like Buffy, she found out, and something about that made her feel warm from head to toe; she didn’t feel quite as alone, quite as much of an oddity, when there was someone else just as confused as she was sitting right across from her.

Willow knew Muggle culture quite intimately, though—her parents wanted her to have the best of both worlds—and it was just as nice to be around her; she talked about books she had read that Buffy remembered seeing in her own elementary school library. Hogwarts isn’t that bad, Buffy found herself thinking, Hogwarts can’t possibly be that bad with people like this around me. She bought everyone snacks when the trolley cart came around, and the Chocolate Frog card she got—

“Oh!” Willow squeaked and made a dive for the card, scooping it up. “Ms. Calendar! She’s got a Chocolate Frog card?”

“Ms. who now?” said Buffy, mouth twitching. She’d gotten the mental image of a calendar with lipstick and legs.

Willow was blushing a little as she held the card close, all but cradling it. “I, I got a little excited,” she said, handing it back to Buffy. “Jenny Calendar works with my dad! She’s spent a bunch of time putting in the hard work to get Muggle technology recognized. She’s kinda radical—”

“Like a surfer?”

“Like a line of thinking,” said Willow. “She thinks the wizarding world shouldn’t be as much of a secret as it is, and that there’s a lot we can learn from Muggles.”

Buffy looked at Jenny Calendar’s face. She didn’t look like someone who would call Buffy a Mudblood, either—she had bright, lively eyes, and when Buffy made eye contact with her on the card, she grinned a little and winked. “They move?” Buffy said, awed. Now Jenny looked like she was giggling a little.

“Yeah!” Willow didn’t tease Buffy for not knowing—she just looked happy that Buffy’s learning. Buffy was liking Willow more and more, the more they talked. “Oh, wait ‘till you see the paintings at Hogwarts—my mom says the Gryffindor common room has a talking painting lady who you have to tell the password!”

“My dad says the Slytherin common room just has a wall,” said Xander, and smirks. “Sucks to be in Slytherin.”

“How come?” Buffy asked, curious.

Xander shrugged, scowling. All he said was, “My parents were both in Slytherin.”

Buffy got the sense that there was a little more to Xander than he was letting on, but let it lie. “I feel really behind the curve, here,” she said a little nervously. “Like there’s so much I need to learn.”

Willow’s smile softened into something both sympathetic and understanding. “It’s okay,” she said. “I can help! I’m good at helping—I help Xander with his math, and I know a bunch about the wizarding world. What do you want to know about?”

Buffy chewed on her lip, trying to keep the question down, but it bubbled up before she could stop herself. “What’s a Mudblood?”

Xander went still. Willow’s smile froze. Only Jesse looked unbothered by the word, focused instead on devouring his pumpkin pasty, but he stopped mid-bite upon noticing the way the mood in the car had shifted. “You okay?” he asked Xander, mouth full.

“Where did you hear that word?” Willow finally asked.

Buffy felt ashamed and afraid—like she’d lose her new friends—but she answered honestly. “Some boy said it while I was getting my robes fitted,” she said. “About me. What does it mean?”

Willow’s face relaxed a little, but she still looked upset. “It means—it’s a really, really mean way of saying you’re Muggle-born,” she said. “My mom always told me she’d wash my mouth out with soap if she ever heard me using that word.”

“My parents toss that word around a lot,” Xander mumbled, then added hastily, “but I never say it, obviously.”

“Do people not like Muggle-borns?” Buffy asked hesitantly.

It took Willow a moment to answer. Finally, she said, “My mom says only small-minded people with small ideas don’t like Muggle-borns.”

“Okay,” said Buffy. “And you guys aren’t those small-minded people, right?”

“Right,” said Xander fiercely, taking a chocolate frog and violently chomping off its head.

Buffy looked again at her Chocolate Frog card. Shyly, she asked Willow, “So—Jenny Calendar likes Muggle-borns?”

Willow seemed to get what Buffy was really asking. “Ms. Calendar thinks there’s no real difference between Muggles and wizards, at the core of it all,” she said, “and I think that too.”

The picture of Jenny Calendar nodded emphatically. Buffy tucked the card into her pocket, near her heart.

Hogwarts was big and bright, even from far away, and Buffy was too in awe to shiver as they were bundled into boats. Jesse was inadvertently separated from them, put in a different boat with two pretty girls who were fussing with each other’s hair, and Buffy, Willow, and Xander found themselves with a fourth boat buddy that none of them had met till then. Her brown hair was messy, and her mouth set in a firm line like she was trying to look as brave as she could, but her eyes were still lit with a wonder she couldn’t seem to hold back.

“Hi,” said Buffy, sitting down next to the girl. “I’m Buffy. I’m Muggle-born. What about you?”

“I’m Faith,” said the girl, chin jutting out, “and I’m a Mudblood.”

Willow drew in a shocked, reproving breath. “You shouldn’t say that word!” she said. “It’s a bad word!”

“I’m a bad kid,” said Faith, and directed her attention back towards the lit-up castle across the lake.

Buffy and Willow exchanged nervous looks before Buffy clambered awkwardly back to sit next to Willow again. She didn’t like the word Mudblood, even if Faith was okay with it—it made her feel too much like an outsider in this world she still felt like she didn’t belong in. Some part of her still thought there must have been a mistake—maybe it really was an accident that had made all her dresses that gorgeous shade of pink when she was seven, and maybe that slice of cake she’d wanted really had just fallen off the top of the fridge when she was nine, landing neatly on a plate—and she felt so, so worried that someone would catch her as she was entering the castle and go sorry, Buffy, this place isn’t for you.

They reached the castle, stars twinkling above them, and they were met at the door by a Professor McGonagall, taken through torch-lit hallways, and led into the Great Hall. Shivering, breathless, Buffy took in the floating candles and the golden plates, almost too awe-struck to speak, and her sense of awe only increased as the Sorting Hat began to sing, but—it was a long song, and she started getting bored, so her eyes began to wander.

Up at the front, at the staff table, she accidentally locked eyes with a bespectacled, austere-looking professor who was attempting to read under the table while the Sorting Hat sang. He looked a little flustered at being caught, but then he grinned a little, shut the book, and gave Buffy a tiny salute. She giggled.

“What?” Willow whispered.

Buffy tried to explain about the professor and his book, but Professor McGonagall cleared her throat and shot them both a look before she continued to read off names. Realizing that she really should be paying attention, Buffy shifted and watched, nervous and impatient to be Sorted.

One of the pretty girls who sat in the boat with Jesse was called up as “Chase, Cordelia!” Flouncing up to the stool, Cordelia sat down in her expensive-looking school robes (those were probably from Twilfit and Tatting’s, a slightly jealous Buffy thought) and waited for the hat to be dropped on her head.

“GRYFFINDOR!”

Next to Buffy, Xander choked. “Her?” he said, indignant. “She’s the most Slytherin girl I know!”

“You know her?” Buffy asked, curious.

“Her dad works at the Ministry,” Willow explained. “She’s always talking down to us ‘cause our dads don’t make as much money as her dad.”

Buffy made a face. Maybe Gryffindor wasn’t that great a house either if a girl like that went there.

Xander was the first of them to get Sorted, and when his name was called, Willow squeezed his shoulder and beamed, sunshine-bright, whispering, “You’ve got this, Xander!” Xander held onto her hand for a second, then took a few trembling steps towards the stool and sat down.

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

Willow didn’t look at all surprised as she started cheering. “What’s the Hufflepuff house do?” whispered Buffy, who was starting to really wish she’d been paying attention to the song while it was talking about the houses.

“Just and loyal!” Willow whispered back.

“Just loyal?”

“No, just and—” Upon receiving yet another terrifying look from Professor McGonagall, Willow made an “eep” noise and attempted to hide behind Buffy (who thought she saw McGonagall’s mouth twitch).

“Lehane, Faith!”

Faith Lehane from the boats all but swaggered up to the Sorting Hat, glaring furiously at the entire Great Hall as though she didn’t want to be at Hogwarts in the first place. Sitting down on the stool, she screwed up her face and waited.

It took the hat a good ten seconds to say anything at all. Buffy and Willow exchanged intrigued looks, watching, and waited with bated breath until the hat finally shouted out, “HUFFLEPUFF!”

Faith looked startled, and surprisingly vulnerable. Something in her face softened just a little as she headed to the loudly cheering black-and-yellow table.

“Well, at least Xander has someone he sorta knows there,” said Willow with rueful amusement. “I know I’m not gonna be in Hufflepuff.”

“You’re not? How come?”

“I just—know,” said Willow decisively. “I’m definitely loyal, but I’m not loyal like Xander. His family says heaps of mean stuff about me just ‘cause my dad’s a Muggle, and he’s stuck by me since we were babies.” She smiled, proud. “I don’t know if anyone’s loyal like Xander,” she said. “Hufflepuff lucked out.”

“Where do you think you’ll go?” Buffy asked, curious.

“Ravenclaw,” said Willow. “On account of me knowing a bunch, and—and Ravenclaw’s where you get to learn more, right? I want to—oh!” She managed a sheepish smile in the direction of Professor McGonagall, who at this point looked a mixture of amused and exhausted. “Sorry,” she whispered. Then, “Maybe I’m not quite smart enough for Ravenclaw,” which made her and Buffy do their best to stifle giggles before—

“Rosenberg, Willow!”

Willow threw a last smile over her shoulder at Buffy as she hurried up to sit on the stool.

The hat was dead silent for a scary long time. Buffy saw Willow’s hands trembling as they clenched around the edge of the stool, heard the soft, interested murmurs of the older students as they watched—she thought she caught the word hatstall, and worried that it might mean something bad for Willow—but finally, finally, the hat cried out, “SLYTHERIN!”

Willow’s eyes flew open; she looked like she’d been socked in the chest. Looking very small, she quietly removed the hat and hurried, forlorn, towards the Slytherin table. Buffy’s heart went out to her, and she made a mental note to check in on Willow as soon as she could—Buffy personally didn’t know which house she’d be in, but she did know she would have be very sad if she’d had her heart set on one and hadn’t made the cut.

“Summers, Buffy!”

Buffy felt her stomach jump as she stepped up to the stool, looking first at Willow (who beamed at her) and then, half-involuntarily, at the professor who had been trying to read. He gave her a soft, encouraging little grin, and—that settled her, a little, enough to listen to what the Hat had to say.

If all the children were as easy to Sort as you, I don’t think they’d need me anymore, it said, a laugh in its voice. Then, to the hall, it shouted, “GRYFFINDOR!”

The hat was taken off Buffy’s head, and she blinked at the cheering red-and-gold table. At the end of it, Cordelia Chase gave her a shy, pleased smile and cleared a seat right next to her on the bench. Buffy glanced at Willow, but—Willow just looked excited, and not too bothered by the fact that Buffy wasn’t in the same House as she was, so maybe this whole House business wouldn’t stop them from being friends.

She still didn’t feel like sitting next to someone who talked down to the only friends she’d made, so she squeezed in instead next to a boy with messy dark hair and glasses, trying to ignore Cordelia’s disappointed blush. “Hi,” she said to the boy. “I’m Buffy.”

The boy looked a little surprised. “I’m Harry,” he said.

“Do you know anything about Gryffindor?” Buffy asked, curious.

“Not really,” said Harry, smiling a little nervously. “I’m—um—”

“Oh,” said Buffy, relieved, “are you Muggle-born too?”

“Not really,” said Harry again.

“He’s Harry Potter,” said Cordelia Chase from the end of the table, sounding a mixture of skeptical and amused. “You’re telling me you don’t know who Harry Potter is?”

“I don’t,” said Buffy, feeling her face flush a dull red, and was frustrated to find that she wasn’t sure if it was from anger or humiliation.

To her surprise, Harry moved a bit closer to her on the bench. “It’s okay,” he said, grinning a little. “Up till a few months ago, I didn’t know who Harry Potter was either.”

Cordelia looked affronted. A few of the older students looked amused. Buffy, comforted, looked up to smile shyly at Harry. “Okay,” she said, “so who are you?”

“I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging,” said Harry. “Can I just say I’m Harry Potter and I’m sort of waiting to see if my friend gets into Gryffindor too?”

“Absolutely,” said Buffy, relieved. “Which one’s your friend?”

Harry pointed towards a red-headed boy at the end of the line who looked slightly green. “Him,” he said. “Ron Weasley. He was nice to me on the train.”

“He looks—” Buffy wracked her brains for an adjective that wasn’t nauseous, and settled on, “—pretty nervous. Is he okay?”

“Truthfully—”

“Weasley, Ronald!”

Buffy and Harry shared a last smile, then went back to watching the Sorting.

The Gryffindor common room did indeed have a painting that talked, along with comfortable armchairs and twisting staircases that led up to a comfortable-looking dormitory. Cordelia Chase set herself up in the four-poster bed nearest to the window, ignoring the indignant huffs from the other girls, and immediately started brushing out her hair with the dramatic flair of a girl who had been raised to believe she was a princess. Buffy, rolling her eyes, settled herself on the bed as far away from Cordelia as possible, which put her right next to the girl who had attempted to do the same thing.

“Hermione Granger,” said the girl without preamble, looking shyly excited, “and did I hear you say you were Muggle-born too?”

“Oh!” Buffy beamed, shifting all the way on her bed to face Hermione. “I did! I was talking to Harry about it a little at dinner. He says he’s not really Muggle-born but I don’t know what that means—”

“He’s Harry Potter,” said Hermione, again as if this was supposed to mean something to Buffy beyond the name. Off Buffy’s look, she elaborated, “He defeated the most powerful dark wizard in the world when he was only a baby.”

“Seriously?” said Buffy, amazed.

“Sort of,” said Hermione. “Probably. He doesn’t seem to remember all that much about it.”

Buffy thought about the skinny, shy kid who had dug into his food with gusto, and tried to imagine him taking down a dark wizard—as a baby, no less. “Huh,” she said. “This school is weird,” and began to get ready for bed.

She saw Xander and Willow again in the morning. Xander was happily dressed in bright Hufflepuff colors, but Willow looked a bit more somber in her green and silver. “All the dark wizards come out of Slytherin,” she was saying in a small voice to Xander; she’d snuck over to the Hufflepuff table for breakfast. “And I just know my mom’s gonna be mad I’m not in Ravenclaw.”

“But you’re not going to be a dark wizard, right, Will?” Buffy pointed out, tempted to squeeze into the Hufflepuff table herself. She was a (mostly) rule-abiding citizen, however, so she sat down at her own table instead, turning on the bench so she could face them both.

“All the Slytherins are—”

“Well, whatever you’re going to say, that’s probably not true,” came a voice, and Willow jumped; a pretty, blonde teacher had swept over to all of them, squinting down at them thoughtfully. “I was in Slytherin seven years, and I turned out all right, I think.” She stuck out her hand to Willow. “Professor Anya Jenkins,” she said. “I teach Ancient Runes. You’re a bit young for that, but maybe I’ll be seeing you third year—now, is this your table or should you be sitting somewhere else?”

Willow took her hand, peering nervously up at Professor Jenkins. “You’re a Slytherin?”

“I was,” said Professor Jenkins. “Look, it’s seven years of your life. It’s not like people are going to ask you at every formal occasion what Hogwarts house you were in—and yes, a lot of dark wizards ended up in Slytherin, but that’s mostly because dark magic is all about ambition and power. It’s like saying that a lot of stuffy academics came out of Ravenclaw—look at Professor Giles, for instance.” Professor Jenkins gestured up towards the staff table, and to Buffy’s surprise, she saw the same professor who had been reading under the table at the Sorting. Upon noticing that he was being watched, he smiled a little awkwardly and began to uncomfortably polish his glasses.

“He’s a total dork,” said Professor Jenkins fondly. “But my point is—wanting power and being ambitious isn’t always a bad thing. It’s what you do with it that counts.” She ruffled Willow’s hair, then said, “You want me to walk you back to your table, kiddo?”

Willow looked nervously at Xander and Buffy.

“You’ll have classes with both of them, don’t worry,” Professor Jenkins encouraged. “I know for a fact you’ll be taking Potions with the Gryffindors.”

Willow’s expression softened and she smiled a nervous goodbye to her friends, letting Professor Jenkins steer her back over to the Slytherin table.

Xander watched her go with a strange, sad look on his face. Finally, he said, “I kinda always thought my parents were bad people on account of them being Slytherins. I guess—maybe it wasn’t that.”

Buffy got the sense that he’d forgotten she was there. She turned back to her breakfast.

History of Magic was with the Hufflepuffs, and Buffy had had every intention of sitting next to Xander before Faith plopped herself into the empty seat Buffy had been saving and said brightly, “Hey, Blondie, what’s up?”

“It’s Buffy,” said Buffy. “Are you going to say that word again? ‘Cause if you are, I don’t want to sit next to you.”

“What, Mudblood?” said Faith, unashamed.

A horrified hush fell over the classroom, and it took Buffy a moment to realize why: Faith had said the word Mudblood right as Professor Giles had entered the room. Quietly, he said, “Class, if you would all hold your seats. You two—” and here he gestured to Buffy and Faith, “—kindly step out into the hall with me for a moment.”

Buffy, furious and mortified, got up immediately; she hadevery intention of explaining to Professor Giles that she hadn’t done a thing wrong. Faith followed her, that same determined jut to her chin, and as soon as the classroom door was swinging shut behind them, she said to Professor Giles, flat and firm, “I’m a Mudblood, Professor. I’m not calling anyone else a Mudblood, I’m saying that I’m one.”

Buffy stared at the floor and wished she was somewhere else.

“Miss Summers,” said Professor Giles, “is there anything you have to say about this?”

“No,” said Buffy in a small voice. “Can I go back inside? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’m well aware of that,” said Professor Giles a bit more gently. “You’re not in any trouble, Miss Summers—I merely felt it my responsibility as an educator to talk to you both about that word. You’re both Muggle-born, yes?”

“Yeah,” said Faith, her voice sharp. Buffy felt a lump in her throat and she didn’t say anything.

“Miss Summers?”

“I want to go inside,” Buffy burst out, feeling all of five years old but being too miserable to care. “This school is too big and I still don’t know who Harry Potter is and everyone else knows more than me here, and I was going to try out for cheerleading at my middle school and I don’t ever want to hear that word Faith said again or even have to talk about it!”

“Your middle school does cheerleading?” Faith sounded slightly amused.

Something in Buffy finally snapped. Without hesitating, she shoved past Faith and ran down the hallway, not quite sure where she was going but very sure she didn’t want to go back. Going back would mean talking about what the word Mudblood meant and talking about how Buffy wasn’t smart enough for a place like this magical school (because Buffy knew who she was, and whatever she was, it wasn’t magical), and, and—

—and she had reached a dead end. Slumping to the floor of the corridor, Buffy buried her face in her hands, feeling hopelessly lost and hopelessly small.

It was about two minutes of her sitting like this before she felt someone sit down next to her. “I come from a very old, very antiquated family of purebloods,” said Professor Giles, and Buffy didn’t dare look up at him. “I grew up surrounded by crests and finery and long quizzes on family history. My family’s also linked to a council of Watchers, but that’s a whole other world and a bit too long of a story for us to talk about just now.”

“I don’t wanna talk about that word,” said Buffy, sniffling.

“I know,” said Professor Giles. “I can understand why. It is a horrible word with a history of prejudice and intolerance behind it, and you are a girl who has just now learned about this world and this word and still doesn’t quite know what to make of it. You’re not lesser, Buffy, if that’s what you’re worried about. You’re not lesser because you’re Muggle-born, and you certainly aren’t lesser because you don’t know anything about Hogwarts, or Galleons, or all the things you’ve got the rest of your life to learn about.”

Buffy raised her head from her hands. “Everyone I meet just seems to know things already,” she said. “And it sucks. And I miss my mom and my little sister.”

Professor Giles gave her a small, encouraging smile. “You have a little sister?” he prompted.

“Are you trying to distract me?”

“A bit,” said Professor Giles. “Thought it might cheer you up.”

Something occurred to Buffy, then. “You have class,” she said, horrified. “It’s the first day and you have class. Are you going to be in trouble?”

“I am a teacher first and foremost,” said Professor Giles, “and my job is to go where I am most needed. Is there anything at all that you want to know?”

Buffy sniffled again, feeling a soft, steady warmth in her chest that reminded her of being wrapped in a blanket on her mom’s cozy couch, holding hot chocolate and watching cartoons. “A lot of stuff,” she said. “Can I write up a list?”

A few of the students did whisper a bit when Buffy and Professor Giles returned to the classroom, but Professor Giles gave Buffy a lot of books to read at the end of class, and told her that her learning more about the wizarding world would count as a little bit of extra credit. So Buffy didn’t mind all that much about them casting aspersions.

Faith caught up to Buffy as she was struggling to pack the last three books into her bag. “Hey,” Faith said, her voice softer and a little more anxious. “Um, Buffy, right? Listen, I’m really sorry about that, I didn’t mean to—I didn’t realize it’d hurt your feelings so much to hear that word. I just thought it was a mean word.”

“It was,” said Buffy. “And it’s, it’s got a lot of history behind it, according to—” she hefted the large volume up and out of her back, but couldn’t quite make out the title, “—whatever this book is.”

“Yeah,” said Faith, shuffling her feet. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. You seem really nice and I don’t know anything either, so, um—” She handed Buffy a crumpled, messy piece of paper. “Can you give these questions about—uh—wizard stuff—can you give them to Professor Giles for me too?”

Buffy smiled slightly, then nodded. “Okay,” she said.

“Cool,” said Faith, and grinned at her, then threw her bag over her shoulder and sprinted to catch up with the rest of the Hufflepuffs.

Buffy watched her go, smiling a little, then fell into step with Hermione Granger. “That Faith is a bit—much, isn’t she?” said Hermione, not in a judging way, more in a half-awed, half-frightened sort of tone. As though she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be taken out into the hall for a talking-to—which, judging from what Buffy had seen of Hermione, she probably couldn’t.

“Yeah, she is,” said Buffy. “But she’s pretty cool.”

Buffy kept Jenny Calendar’s Chocolate Frog card close to her heart when she cast her first spell. Wingardium leviosa, and her feather sailed high up to the sky—and there were bunches of people who said she had a place here, like Jenny Calendar with the work she did, like Professor Giles with his kind eyes. She took tea with him every Wednesday, now, and they talked about the wizarding world, and sometimes Willow and Xander came along.

“Almost in Ravenclaw?” he said when Willow told him about her hatstall. “Well, you must be quite a special girl to confuse the Sorting Hat so thoroughly.” Which made Willow smile, bright and wide, for three days running, and she told anyone who would listen that Professor Giles thought she was special.

Things began to pick up, slow but steady, over that first month: most significantly, Buffy learned to fly, and that was something else. Their flying lesson was a bit disrupted when an idiot Slytherin got in a lot of trouble and Harry became the youngest Seeker in a century, but Buffy forgot about all that when she finally got to be up in the air. Willow had a fear of heights that kept her clutching the broom, and Xander flew just a little wobbly, but the moment Buffy took off, she just—knew. Maybe spells and potions weren’t her forte, but this—this she could do. This felt absolutely, exactly right.

Buffy, I’m sorry, but I can’t buy you a broomstick, her mom wrote her back the next day. First years aren’t allowed to have them, according to that letter you gave me, not to mention I’m not at all comfortable with the thought of you hundreds of feet in the air. We can talk about it when you’re a little older, and maybe I’ll have changed my mind a little.

Buffy huffed, slumping back into her seat, and nearly missed the copy of the Daily Prophet that landed next to her. Looking up, she saw an excited Willow standing there with her own copy. “I just—I remembered you kept that card of Ms. Calendar,” she said, “and—look! It’s not on the front page, but, but she wrote an article about how important the perspectives of Muggle-born children can be.”

“That Calendar lady sure talks a lot about Muggles,” scoffed Cordelia.

Willow’s smile didn’t falter. “She’s using her platform to elevate the voices of the under-represented,” she shot back, “which is more than I can say for you, Cordelia.”

“Whatever, Slytherin,” Cordelia retorted. “Don’t you have some kids to bully?”

Willow flushed an ashamed red and her smile quivered.

Buffy made a face at Cordelia and scooted down the bench until there was room for Willow. “Here,” she said. “We should read this one together.”

She tacked the article up above her four-poster bed, in between her beat-up poster of Dorothy Hamill and a picture of her with her mom and Dawn. One section was highlighted—

…children born and raised outside our magical world inhabit not just our world, but their own: they are able to look at our culture, history, and knowledge from an outsider’s perspective, and oftentimes they see solutions to problems we haven’t even considered yet. Take, for instance, our owl-only methods of communications: non-magical individuals have found a way to communicate within a manner of seconds, whether it be through telephones or, as of late, emails. These children, attending Hogwarts, have created spells that enable them to make cost-free long-distance calls to their non-magical parents—something that might never cross the mind of someone raised in the wizarding world from birth.

Magic isn’t nearly half as important as what one does with it. Insight is a thousand times more valuable.

#fic #buffy summers #buffy and giles #(that tag is relevant)#listen i had a crazy amount of fun with this fic and i am so so proud of it

25 notes · View notes

rorykillmore · 6 years

Text

this next gift is for my friend jay! who is no longer on tumblr (the augers got him,) but i’m posting this here for him to save however he wants. jay left his request open and so i thought for awhile about what i wanted to do and settled on -- what better than a fic about our first important rp dynamic? naruto joining the legends may still be a plot in progress, but i wanted to explore a few snapshots of his relationship with them and sara specifically. so this is kind of? future-set? as will become apparent the more of it you read.

merry christmas, jay!!! idk if there are words to properly express how grateful i am to have met you and gotten to know you so well this past year. and i know it’s only been a year, so it really speaks to your character how quickly you’ve become one of my very best friends. you’ve always been there to support me and listen and be validating when i’m upset or frustrated, or just make me smile by linking me to some silly (or terrifying, CLICKHOLE) video. the trust we’ve built up is very rare in my life and important to me and i feel so lucky to know you and be able to share all our varied interests with each other (from saw to borderlands to cry of mann to dctv -- and of course, cube!). never forget that you’re a wonderful person and friend.

Child soldiers, Sara thinks dryly, great. She supposes the League wasn’t much better, but at least she’d been old enough to vote before they started training her to kill.

“Wow,” Naruto says the first time he’s ever aboard the Waverider. “Does this thing have a kitchen?”

Sara feels like that’s the point at which she should have realized she was in trouble.

Honestly, the team doesn’t exactly need any more teenagers. They already have Gardner, and Maive pretty much counts, and Ratchet is along for the ride at least some of the time. It’s not that they can’t fend for themselves in their own respective ways, but they’re still teenagers, questionable judgment and poor impulse control and all, and looking out for all of them can be a little bit stressful especially when it’s just her and Newt.

Except Naruto, whatever else he might be, is brave, with a genuine sense of compassion and a desire to help other people. He gets along well with the other Legends -- Maive especially, which is a big plus in Sara’s book, all things considered. Worst of all, he’s eccentric, one-of-a-kind, a bit of a disaster -- just odd enough to not quite fit with the rest of the world, in spite of all his friendliness and easy charm.

In short, he was practically a Legend in the making even before she met him. She supposes she never really stood much of a chance.

The first time they bring him along, it’s to put a wrench in the plans of some time traveling rifter who wants to fuck with World War II (Why do they always pick World War II? Are there that many people running around who want to see the world overrun by Nazis? It’s discouraging, honestly). Maive suggests Naruto might be useful, and Sara can’t turn down the extra firepower.

So they go -- right into the thick of it, which means Ratchet has to come up with these bullshit holographic disguises for him and Maive. Sara tries not to laugh as Naruto lines them up for a picture with ‘Franklin Delano Roosevelt’ and ‘Winston Churchill’. It’s silly and dumb and out-of-this-world, and somehow, they all have fun. Even Maive seems happier and more at ease with the group when Naruto’s around.

And so, Sara relents, maybe it won’t kill her to keep him around.

Or (knowing the Legends in any universe) maybe it will -- but it just might be worth it.

“Is it normal for kids to learn to fight like this, where you’re from?” she asks her one day after Naruto’s talked her into some light sparring. He seems to like to make a game out of it -- his sparring style is eager and fun even compared to the non-hostile practice she and Rkorya do. It’s not that he’s not skilled, because he undeniably is -- it’s just that his attitude is different from the people Sara once trained with.

“Well, I mean --” Naruto pauses to scratch behind his head, and Sara clamps down on the instinct to take advantage of the casually given opening. “Kinda? Most of the people I know have been training since they were...” He seems to lose count, and shrugs. “I mean, I guess it’s like -- how else would our villages protect themselves?”

Child soldiers, Sara thinks dryly, great. She supposes the League wasn’t much better, but at least she’d been old enough to vote before they started training her to kill.

“Where’d you learn to fight?” Naruto’s question breaks through her thoughts, and she pauses.

“It’s complicated.” Somehow, she knows that answer won’t satisfy his curiosity. “The organization that trained me -- most of them weren’t very good people.”

And yet that part of her, the assassin trained by the League, still sometimes feels like the part she knows best. It wasn’t so long ago, after all, that she’d gone running back to them when she’d felt she had nothing else to do with herself.

Naruto’s expression falls, and Sara tries not to grimace. “Look, there’s no reason to worry about it. It was a long time ago.”

“Still...” He frowns at her without trying to hide his reaction. “I’m, uh. I’m really sorry, Sara.”

The thing is, he doesn’t even know what he’s expressing sympathy for. The thing is, it’s not just what happened to her, it’s what she’d done.

The thing is, even if Naruto knew all of those things, Sara gets the feeling he’d be no less shy about reaching out to her.

“Well.” She shrugs, because she’s still not very good at taking sympathy, but she doesn’t want to brush him off either. “Whatever happened to us before -- it’s not an excuse not to move forward now. Right?”

“Right!” Naruto breaks into a grin just as quickly as he faltered a moment ago. “I mean, hey, look at you now -- you’re a superhero!”

Sara scrunches her nose, but it’s half-playful. “Don’t use that word.”

Inaccurate though it may be, she can’t help but appreciate his sincerity. Naruto might belong with them because of his general ragtag misfit nature, but the reason he makes a difference -- it’s moments like this. He doesn’t seem to have it in him to ever stop caring.

She gives him a brief, friendly nudge, and raises her bo staff. “Let’s get back to it.”

Leery as she may be of taking her team to the 80′s after the chaos emeralds incident, Sara will concede that they could all use a holiday vacation. That means picking a ‘fun’ decade, and it generally doesn’t get much more fun than the 80′s (well, okay, the 70′s, but a good portion of her team is underage). She lets them pick a few things they want to do - namely things that don’t involve too much more of Ratchet and Maive hiding, although Ratchet insists he can pull off a killer Madonna - and one of those things happens to be attending a real, authentic, 1980′s drive-in movie.

Their movie of choice? One of the original showings of Aliens.

Newt spends most of the time being concerned over the extinction risk to a foreign species ( “You’re thinking too much about it,” Sara keeps telling him, “They’re supposed to be evil aliens.”) while Gardner seems more intrigued with the technological aspects ( “Pretty inaccurate for the time period this is supposed to be set in. But cool.”). Maive, for her part, has found a new hero in Ellen Ripley, which Sara can’t help but consider to be the best thing in the world.

“Does she die?” she keeps murmuring. “Don’t tell me if she dies. She can’t die. She’s unkillable.”

“I’m... pretty sure she’s in other movies in this franchise?” Ratchet ventures. “So she probably doesn’t die. In this one, anyway.”

“Just so you know, Alien 3 isn’t worth watching under any circumstances,” Sara shoots back at them. “Ripley or no Ripley.” Her gaze catches on Naruto, and she tilts her head, amused. He’s sitting there in uncharacteristic silence, squashed between Ratchet and Maive, sporting one of the goofiest grins she’s ever seen. Sara’s not sure she wants to interrupt his experience, so she doesn’t say anything.

Maive, on the other hand, has no such reservations. “What’s with you?” she asks teasingly, nosing him.

“Huh?” Naruto’s eyes barely move away from the screen. “Nothing! It’s just --” He pauses to soak in a particularly detailed action sequence, then finally steals a glance at Maive. “This is one of the coolest things I’ve ever done.”

It sounds nothing short of sincere, for all that Naruto is a trained ninja with a lifetime’s worth of experiences that Sara is certain are way flashier than this. She has to admit, it’s a little bit sweet. Even Maive pauses for a moment. Then --

“Wow. You really need to get out more.”

“Hey!”

“As if watching Ripley kick alien butt isn’t one of the coolest things Maive’s ever done, too.” Apparently confident in the distance Naruto’s currently putting between them, Ratchet calls her out. Then he looks at Naruto, and ears wiggle in a way Sara recognizes by now to mean that he’s a little apprehensive. “Anyway, I... kinda get what you mean. I never really got to do stuff like this, back on Veldin.”

Naruto gives him a friendly nudge. “Weren’t you a superhero even back in your world? Saving people and getting to visit different planets in a cool spaceship is still pretty awesome.”

Ratchet looks even more embarrassed, and Sara turns around again to hide her smirk. Suddenly, she’s pretty sure it’s a kindness that Maive isn’t the one sitting between them.

They seem happy, she reflects as the banter fades away and they all get caught up in the movie again. Happy is a concept that still seems a little too far out of her own reach, but if holding this team together means that these kids get to have something like this -- well, it’s worth it.

She really is glad they picked up Naruto, after all.

But things like this don’t last forever. No matter how important they are, or how much she wants to protect them. Sara knows this by now.

Maive is dead. Sara can’t get her lifeless form out of her head -- so starkly contrasting, so unreal compared to the energetic, alive Maive they all knew only days ago. She steels herself, in spite of everything, and gives her team what she knows they need to hear. That it’s going to hurt for awhile, but that they have each other. That they can come to her if they need anything. That she’s going to lead them through this, that they’re going to find Maive’s killer, and win her some justice (because they need something to drive them forward, and Sara knows from experience that revenge is an excellent motivator).

It feels hollow to her own ears. The strength she tries to lend them feels like a lie, because the moment she retreats to her office, she has a hard time believing any of it.

There’s just the loss. Another hole in her heart. She’s used to it by now, or she should be, but it’s different now that she’s captain. That she’s responsible, that there are a million things she’s telling herself she could have or should have done.

If she’s being honest with herself, well -- the big speech she called the team together for was as much to shield what she’s really feeling from them as it was meant to be a reassurance. They have each other - they have her, if they need her - but she’ll deal on her own. She always does.

Still, she knows them by now, so she’s not entirely surprised when she hears a knock at the door. She’s fully prepared to brush whoever it is off, to tell them to go get some rest --

“Sara?”

But somehow it isn’t Naruto that she expects, and it stalls her a little. She makes the mistake of looking at him -- she doesn’t think she’s ever seen him look so tired.

“What’s up?” she asks him dully.

He hesitates uncharacteristically. “I’m... not gonna ask if you’re okay. ‘Cause I don’t think anyone is.” He shifts slightly in light of her lack of response. “But there’s something else I wanted to ask.”

Sara straightens from where she’s leaning against the desk, trying to look a little more attentive.

“I wanna -- help you guys find who killed her.”

The statement hangs there for a moment. She blinks. It takes a moment to process.

“I know I haven’t been hanging around with you guys for very long.” Naruto continues a little more quickly. “But she was my friend - she was all of our friends - and I’m not gonna let whoever did this get away with it. I know you have a lot to deal with right now, but I -- I just wanna help. I wanna help all of you.”

She doesn’t think she’s ever heard him sound so serious. She swallows, mulling over a response slowly -- more how to word it, because she already knows how she feels. “I know.”

Naruto opens his mouth, closes it again, then blinks. “You do?”

“I’d already figured you weren’t going to stand by.” She shrugs, giving him a thin smile (or as much of one as she can manage). “And why wouldn’t I let you help? You’re part of the team.”

It’s Naruto’s turn to go quiet for a moment “I am?” He frowns, dissatisfied with his own uncertainty. “I mean, uh -- I just... didn’t know if it was official, I guess.”

Sara guess that somewhere amidst everything that’s been going on lately, ‘official’ has kind of slipped through the cracks. But the truth is, she accepted Naruto a while ago -- she’s pretty sure most of them have.

Moving almost makes the ache in her chest a physical ache, but she crosses the room and rests a hand on his shoulder regardless. “You are,” she tells him, meeting his gaze levelly. “And we’re going to get justice for Maive. I can sure as hell promise you that.”

The determination that flares in Naruto’s eyes is as good as an agreement, and this time, Sara thinks her own words don’t feel like quite as distant from the truth.

#fic #christmas gifts #also eternal prayer circle that i wrote naruto okay #attempts to infiltrate ninja hell

6 notes · View notes

akocomyk · 6 years

Text

The Top 10 Books I Read in 2017

Funny how I wasn’t able to read as much books as I wanted to despite the fact that I wasn’t really doing anything for two and a half months. I was able to read 25 books in 2017, just enough to hit my Goodreads 2017 Reading Challenge. Usually, I go over my pledged number of books. This was the only time, if I remember right, that I wasn’t able to surpass my reading challenge.

Finishing that challenge was an effort, mind you. I finished reading the last book for 2017 on December 30, and i pushed myself just so that I can finish the challenge. I blame all this slow reading to Miss Peregrine. If you’ve read my thoughts on that book, you’d know why.

Going back to the real purpose of this blog... Of the 25 books I read this year, 15 were considered for this list. I know that’s quite a lot, but that’s good, in reality. That means I'm now more careful on choosing which books to read.

The sad part about this—similar to my dilemma last year—is that I have too many books that I want to include in the list. It’s with great regret that I won’t be able to put them in here even if I wanted to.

Anyway... here it goes.

*The books in here are included regardless of their genre, release date, and author—whether they be Filipino or international. As long as its a book that I’ve read within the given year, they can be considered for the list.

(Scores are on a scale of 1-5, inspired by Goodreads’ rating format)

10. A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett (2005)

SCORE: 4.250

This is the second book in Pratchett’s Tiffany Aching series. I really loved the first book and I’m so thrilled that whatever it is I liked from the first one continued with this—at times, even better. But I’m a nothing-bests-the-original type of person, so the first book scored higher for me. You’ll see it further on this list.

9. The Inexplicable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Allire Sáenz (2017)

SCORE: 4.275

One thing that t I really love about Sáenz‘s books is the tone of his writing. It’s utterly simple, yet very poetically beautiful—which for me makes it very quick and easy to read.

His other book that I read, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, is one of my favorite books. Having known that he recently released a new book, I din’t mind that it’s still only available on hardbound, I immediately bought it when it came out. I had high expectations for it.

This book gave me the same feelings when I read Ari and Dante, though it wasn’t as effective. Toned-down would be a good word for it. There are parts where it would hit you right on the heart. Ironically, this is what the books is all about—love. It’s about all types of love, even if the book never had an ounce of romance in it—maybe just a little bit.

8. The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett (2003)

SCORE: 4.330

The story in itself is very similar to a fairy tale and you can even identify a few references grabbed from the classics. But unlike those old tales of fantasy, this one is void of all the atrocities and rather has common sense and unwavering cleverness—not to mention, an ample amount of humor.

One thing that I also love about the book is that all characters are very likable and have distinct personalities—even the tertiary and background characters have personalities, it’s insane!

See full review

7. The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill (2016)

SCORE: 4.345

I always love a book with amazing characters who have deeply rooted motivations. This is what I adored about this book. It felt like all the characters have valid reasons why they were doing the things that they did in the story, and the way it just pushed the plot forward and how everything went to be is just enchanting.

This is a book meant for children but it can certainly be enjoyed by any person of any age—except for the toddlers who can’t read, obviously. This book is for the people who looooove fantasy. I got into reading because of fantasy books—hello Chronicles of Narnia—and this creation by Barnhill is a unique jewel in the midst of middle grade to young adult novels which nowadays are starting to sound too similar to one another.

6. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky (1999)

SCORE: 4.405

I had setbacks when I decided that I wanted to read it. It was on the bottom of my I-plan-to-read-list primarily because I’ve already watched the film adaptation and I’m worried that I wouldn’t appreciate the book that much since I already know the story and thought that it would take away too much of the book’s charm.

BUT I WAS WRONG.

I didn’t really plan on reading it but on June 10, when I was alone in our house and wanted to do something so that I won’t get bored, I went out to find a book and eat at a local café. Turns out, this was the cheapest book I found that actually pulled my interest.

Anyway, the book—much like the film—is very touching and fun to read. Like, I never would’ve thought that the book was written during the 90′s because it gave me the modern YA feels, like it totally blended in with the books that I love reading.

It gave me the feels. You know, the weird feeling in your heart when you read a book or watch a film. It was very prevalent in this book.

5. The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (2007)

SCORE: 4.475

I got this book as a Christmas gift from a fellow Star Wars nerd. She loved it that’s why she gave me a copy. Basing from the reviews it got from Goodreads, it is an amazing book. AND IT LIVED UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS.

I just love how the characters are fully made up… although some feel like cardboard cutouts, I don’t mind. I mean, they’re very minor characters. At most, the main characters are very interesting.

It’s a good substitute to those who are reading the A Song of Ice and Fire series. It has the same amount of epicness, same amount of characters, ample amount of secrecy and mysteries, but thankfully not as grandiose and confusing\ as GRRM’s (yeah, as much as I love the ASOIF books, sometimes it goes a little too far).

It’s a really thick book which I would normally get bored of reading in the middle, but that didn’t happen.

4. Simon Vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli (2015)

SCORE: 4.605

It is a truly wonderful book that proudly represents the LGBTQ community.

I love how Albertalli wrote it in such a sarcastic tone, and it reminds me of the time when I have a similar tone in writing—the time before I started doing all those melodramatic stuff.

There are times in the book that I almost wanted to cry.

Also, it’s one hell of a page-turner. I couldn’t stop reading it! The book laid open on my desk at work and I occasionally read a few pages every now and then. I wanted to know how it ends so badly.

I also love the way that the story is also very engaging to the readers, like the way that you want to share with Simon’s adventure and search for the mysterious identity of Blue. I had speculations. I said, if this would be him, the story would be stupid. If this would be a girl, it would be disappointing (and Will Grayson-ish). If it was this other characters, it just doesn’t make any sense. But there’s this minor character who would probably fit. AND I WAS DAMN RIGHT. I predicted it but it was good, because all the other options would make a really bad story. I predicted it but it was good, because if I was the one who wrote the story, I would’ve written it the same way.

3. Scythe by Neal Shusterman (2016)

SCORE: 4.610

This is only my second Neal Shusterman book and I think I’m starting to become a fan. In this novel, he created a world that is so thought-provoking, and he made it distinct among the over-crowded dystopian novels of the recent years.

I recommend this to anyone who loved reading The Hunger Games—or just to anyone who loves to read—because it gives you the same emotions. Different story, same feeling. It will surprise you. It will scare you. It will excite you. And at a certain point, it will crush your heart.

See full review

2. We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson (2016)

SCORE: 4.615

This book portrays the message that no person in this world has a perfect life. We are all flawed, and we all have reasons to be unhappy.

I was heavily impressed at how Hutchinson was able to incorporate that factor in all of his characters. That is what I like most about this book. Anyone in the world who loves to read may be able to have a connection to it—naturally, everyone of us has imperfections and we can empathize on the characters because of that.

I love the little sci-fi things that are enclosed in-between chapters, including the main premise that Henry (the main character) is abducted by aliens. And I love the mystery by the end as to whether or not these abductions are true or just a figment of Henry’s imagination. *Spoiler alert, if you’re wondering how this part of the story is resolved… it was never resolved*

He’s depressed and he probably has anxiety so this could possibly his mind’s manifestations to cope up with his life. This real-unreal phenomenon kinda reminds me of A Monster Calls… you know, you’re not sure if whether or not the Monster was real or not.

This factor adds a little interaction with the readers as it forces us to use our own creativity and rely solely on our imagination on how this all adds up. It can be true. It cannot be true.

And also, the book has these occasional moments that will really crush your heart. You know how much I love books that do that to me.

AND THE AWARD FOR THE BEST BOOK I READ IN 2017 GOES TO...

1. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (2003)

SCORE: 4.630

I’ve seen this book on store shelves a couple of times and I always overlooked it. Probably because the cover isn’t very much appealing to me, and I’m not a usual fan of books that center on war themes, especially those that are set in the middle east.

So when I finally paid attention to it, and saw the good reviews it had on Goodreads, I said to myself. “I effin’ need to read this.”

Also, one of the reasons why I decided to read it is for this list. At the time, this list was dominated by YA novels, all of which have LGBTQ themes in them. Had We Are the Ants topped the list, for three years straight, YA-LGBTQ books bagged the top plum. I have nothing against these type of books—I like them, obviously—but I thought that I just need some sort of variety.

Going back to this book... this has left me scarred. There are scenes in the book that I will never, ever be able to forget. Like there were scenes that I read while I was inside a bus on my way home, and I had to stop reading because I didn’t want people to see me crying in public. Unfortunately, I still cried.

For me, this book tells us that life will always be full of sh*t. You may have your good days, but it will always try to test you. Other than that, it tells us that there are people in this world who would die for honor, and for love.

I will no longer tell anymore about this book. I suggest that you should just read it. I highly recommend it. Definitely one of my favorites.

Other books considered for this list were I Wrote This for You by Iain S. Thomas, Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell, Chasers of the Light by Tyler Knott Gregson, Kids of Apetite by David Arnold, and Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon. I really wish that they were in the top—especially the poetry books by Thomas and Gregson, that would’ve been a first—but I only need ten and 2017 was just crowded with good books.

I read better books this year than the past year. You can just tell from the ratings. The tenth place on this was already on 4.250—I had to include a third decimal to break the ties, that’s why the scores are so close. Last year’s tenth was at 3.68, and the first book to actually go higher than 4.250 was All the Light We Cannot See with 4.32, last year’s fourth placer. Last year’s first placer— I’ll Give You the Sun which scored 4.57—was edged out by this year’s with 4.630.

I wish I would still have the same dilemma for 2018. I know it’s a problem, but it’s a good problem.

Happy book-reading this 2018!

#Top10Books

1 note · View note