#has this been done yet? i don't think so

[introspectivememories]

too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.

#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit #about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels #like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they #broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane. #im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them #and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong #i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma #if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more #ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month #but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories #so make of that what you will #and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them #i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them #anyway yeah #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes

[crybaby-bkg]

Trainer Bakugou who you're a little terrified of the first day you're paired with him. when asking for a trainer at the gym, you had expected the friendly redhead who always looked so sweet and encouraging and cut as hell. you weren't expecting his grumpy looking blond counterpart, who was all glares and shouts for his clients to keep pushing themselves.

you were hesitant at first, before you quickly realized that it was all a ruse, for the most part. he pushed those who needed that extra encouragement, but was more lenient to people like you who simply wanted a professionals guidance. so, after a few weeks, you liked him for the most part, and his looks damn sure made it easier to cozy up to the big guy.

the only issue you've been having with Bakugou though are the...coregasms, as you've seen them been named on social media, that you keep experiencing. the first time, you weren't sure what it was, why your stomach and pelvis kept tightening up. you couldn't have...climaxed, or anything. you hadn't even been touched!

but, as the weeks go by, and the workouts get more strenuous, they've become harder and harder to subside and ignore, and so had Bakugou's commands to keep going when you suddenly stopped. you can only lie and say its cramps so many times before he realizes that something is up.

you're midway through a good morning, when that familiar feeling starts tightening in the pit of your gut. you clench your eyes shut, shaking your head a little, as if you could ward off the impending feeling. bakugou notices though, frowning at your almost pained expression in the mirror, walking up behind you to stop you as you pull yourself back up. his hands are on your waist, and as you come up, you feel his bulge glide over the curve of your ass, and something in you snaps.

you gasp, buckling over, one hand on your knee as the other reaches back for bakugou's hand to keep you up as your thighs shake. you can feel yourself spasming, clenching and unclenching around nothing, secretly wishing you had something that could fill you up, something that you felt throb against you as bakugou leaned over your form.

"Another coregasm, huh?" he asks you lowly, his lips brushing your ear as you bite your bottom lip to hold back your moan. your eyes buck open though, when his words sink in, head tipping back to look at him in the mirror, only to find his gaze already on you.

"You knew every time?" you ask quietly, panting now that its finally starting to pass over you. but bakugou doesn't let you up from this position, especially since the area you're in seems to be desolate for now.

"It's hard to ignore how pretty you look when you cum, sweetheart." Bakugou seals his words with a firm press to your ass, his cock rubbing the seam, and you can practically feel the heat and veins of it through your thin bottoms. you groan under your breath, getting lost in the feeling of him grinding against you, when he suddenly speaks again.

"You still feel it?" he asks, voice low as he looks at you through his lashes. you nod, biting at your bottom lip as you meet the steady rock of his hips, watching how he smiles before slotting his lips against your ear.

"Want me to help make it go away?" and he does, in the employee locker room after hours. he makes it go away, and rebuild, and go away again and again until you're hoarse and your legs are weaker than they typically are on leg day. bakugou helps the ache go away, but not for that sweet redheaded coworker of his, whose fists have fucked his cock the entire time of watching bakugou rail you over the locker room bench again and again.

#remember when I said in my lion bkg tags that I would write that long fic #sorry but I lied 😔 #idk its been so hard to write long fics for me lately!! #I thought it would be better since the brunt of everything in my life has passed #but the creative energy isn't all the way there yet #so I won't rush the process of it!!! when I let it come to me I typically bang out like #3-5 fics in two weeks lol so im waiting for that feeling #but anyway!!! I love trainer character aus they're so seggsy #also I had to throw in eiji sorry what else could I have done #NOT put him in this somehow???? I don't think so #okay bye im gonna write another Drabble ive had in my drafts for a few weeks now LOL #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #bakugou treats! 🍬 #also has anyone ever actually experienced a coregasm before??? I saw it on insta and was amazed LOL #I need to start working on my core more to get one lol if im LUCKY

[sysig]

Time Loops are they/them culture (Patreon)

Bonus of my little guy in ISaT style:

#Doodles #Pixel art #ISaT #Siffrin #Loop #And then I still don't have even a code name for smol and my time loop concept lol #I'm sure you can imagine my excitement upon seeing a time loop RPG <3 #Not to be silly but the thought of either of us picking up the wavelength and running with it is fun to me haha ♪ #I...may or may not have developed brainworms about it it's fine lol #Good characters! Good story! I'm always a sucker for a tragedy with bright spots <3 It's hard to even call the ending bittersweet tho hehe #It's very sweet! Like sugar :) Hehe #Shock of shocks I - person who has done this how many times now - liked the dynamic between Sif and Loop best haha #Is it spoilers if it requires past knowledge of my faves hmmm inconclusive lol #These were just introduction doodles - not even Getting Used To doodles yet a step before that! #Fun designs :D I like Sif's hair a lot <3 The way it's two-tone because he likes black! Adorable! And cowlicks hehehe #And eyepatch hehehe Sif's design is so fun ♪ #What no my time loop shop keep lad having a hat like that has no bearing! I'm completely unbiased! Lol #For the pixel art I did directly just use Siffrin's hat in shape haha I just added the belt and buckle ouò #Man it's been too long since I've played with pixel art it's still so fun <3 #Someday I'll get Aseprite. Someday #In the meanwhile it was fun to make their colour palette :D #I love that ISaT is in black and white canonically as well I think it's really cool ♪ #Me when monochrome red 💕💖😭🤌💗 #It is simply The Best colour palette out there I'm sorry others need not apply #Again my pencils and blood pen surely give away none of my biases because I don't have any lol #Hrmng I want SASASAP too pixel art cool - the glow up in ISaT is only strengthened by looking at the original closely! #Ah well I'll just admire at a distance until then <3

[toasteaa]

SHOW US THE TINY TOAST

You have five seconds to look and then I'm sending this post to the abyss

This is the ONLY copy I have of this because I can't find it in my parent's house and I don't know if I'm sad about that or if it's a blessing

Tiny Toast...that was the first time I had ever had my hair flat ironed 😭

#toast talks #a wild toast has been spotted #I can't even remember why this photoshoot was done! I think it was White Day??? #There was a company that came to the daycare I was in and had all the students dressed for photos! #I remember them pinning my hair and the lipstick but that's it! I don't really remember anything else! #Some of my memories in Okinawa are way more vivid than others. I can't help that I was only like...four LOL #I lied. I wasn't even four yet because we were back in the states by 2000. I HAD to have been three at the MOST. #Sobbing...I was so small...

[softshuji]

Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting #married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they' #think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i #said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with #a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive #ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could #talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed #i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man #and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in #front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?” #not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love #or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than #they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw #im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation. #and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down” #and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the #kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off #somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it. #my obligations are to god and myself and that's it #and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already #and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone #else has and that's it. #im done. #and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse. #i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit #and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding. #is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these #decision's for me? #ruined my whole day.

[chamaleonsoul]

A feeling of the past, living under the summer sun

#has this one been done yet #i don't think so #*insert crying smiley emoji here* #it's good. i'm fine! i swear (: #we're good #i don't wanna get older without your head on my shoulder smth smth #👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 #they're my comfort idiots your honour #i'm too sensitive for this #op

[sheyshen]

if any of y'all could do me a solid and report this griefer that's been hanging out by the limsa aetheryte on malboro that would be lovely. I don't need to name names you'll know exactly who i'm talking about if you go there

#dude's been here for weeks adding more and more of his bots and doing his lala hate spam every so often. seems he's added a bard now too #i reported him almost week ago and nothing has been done yet as far as i can tell #never thought i'd see the day that i'd think someone could be more immature than griefers on wow but here we are #he's been up to 34 or so characters a couple days ago #luckily i'm working on an alt through msq on a different server so i don't have to deal with it as much #but i do need to go there now and then on my mains for stuff so can't completely avoid it short of not playing at all

[dennisboobs]

ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall

#ada speaks #idk how ppl exist in this fandom who don't feel bad for him tbh #which is the last thing den wants bc being perceived as weak and pitiable is devastating to him but #chasing this mfer down to give him a hug #he is so. fucked up. he has been fucked up by every adult in his life. #i think the fandom perceives him as this spoiled rich kid who had it better than most of the gang but the reality is #he was failed just like the rest of them and it's almost worse because he doesn't – and almost CAN'T – recognize this #letting the protective ego-boosting and boasting drop leads to him having to confront SO much baggage and i don't think he is mentally able #i think he DOES know deep down that everything is a lie and he has been hurt because we see that self awareness in ptsdee and tends bar #but his relationship with everyone in the gang is so strained that i don't think he would be able to have a moment like charlie did in s15 #even in tends bar there's a moment where they all recognize something is going on with him but immediately place him at the center #because he's the problem with him. anything done to him is his fault. it's not only something he reinforces. the gang does too #this must be because *dennis* has no feelings and he hates valentines day because everyone else is unlike him which makes *him* mad #the entire gang has an issue placing blame on themselves but to not even be able to conceive of dennis being hurt by them is. telling #because he's inhuman to them. it's how he's propped himself up and yet simultaneously hopes that they will see through that act #the way he reworks things in his mind so that everything is a consequence of his grand plan #means that he is always at fault regardless of whether he brushes the blame off #so he is not a *victim* of anyone else. because this was all under his control. he wasn't raped because he was initiating it. #klinsky was His Conquest. he was fourteen and she was in her fifties but he forced himself on her so that makes it His Fault. #it was a two way road. he's fourteen. and he 'entered' her. he's fourteen. but she was uncomfortable with his advances. but he was fourteen #cw csa mention

[autistic-shaiapouf]

JUPITER, BRINGER OF LIGHT, KING OF GODS

#hxh #hunter x hunter #meruem #AUGH FINALLY DONE WITH THIS...... HAPPY MERUEM MONDAY LMAO #this was initially supposed to be based on holst's jupiter (bringer of jollity) but i ended up reworking a lot of the ideas i had #did a little poking around and found jupiter (the god) has some connotations with light and then the whole #''name with directly biblical connotations'' thing happened; ive been wanting to draw him with a halo for so long now #also gave him eyeshine bc i think it's fun + makes him look a little more menacing; especially when the rest of him is cast in shadow #heavy light connotations yet i put him in the shadows.. #anyways I'm really happy with this one 💖 i dont really draw him a lot but I'm trying to make it count every time i do #''oh i dont like drawing meruem he's too detailed and complex'' and then i turn around and do this #i don't really play around with lighting a whole lot so a lot of this was new territory for me; glad the lineless look worked! #still had to um. manually draw to highlight his chest and abs for the EnjoyersTM out there lmao but other than that #not upset with this one and that's nice! it was meant to be monochromatic green as well. it got away from me lmao #hoatm draws

[hella1975]

this isn't meant to like. make you give your opinion on Discourse™️ or anything I just wanted to ask, but I keep seeing people upset about taylor dating mr. 1975 and I can't figure out if it's bc he's a terrible person or just a greasy alcoholic 😭😭😭 do you know what's up with that guy??? like on one hand I like not knowing things about celebs and I should keep it that way. but also

i, unfortunately, do know what's up with that guy and it's that he's said something problematic about every faction of society at least once. for me i have some weird, reluctant fondness for him because he is just a train wreck and he's such a twat all the time that at least it's nondiscriminating, and i also like that when he sings about mental illness it's bc he's actually BEEN THERE and been publicly a mess bc of it and been addicted to drugs and acted like a dick, and he ACKNOWLEDGES THAT, but also at no point am i gonna jump on the 'he's an amazing person' parade bc generally he is just a sleazy idiot. it is weird watching people suddenly dragging up every single thing he's ever said to be like 'look! this is why he's bad for our tay tay!' when the running joke with matty healy is that he's just a prick. like u dont need to expose his moral fibre. u can just say he's a prick. and also as funny as the jokes are she's still a grown woman who's been around the block a few times when it comes to dating. i think she will be okay maybe

#idk that's just what i think though. like he's been cancelled more times than he has songs and yet a lot of us are still here #and he acknowledges it like there's a running gag at his live shows where he goes to say a very explosive sentence and then he gets cut off #by the band with a random song it's so funny. like he'll go 'i just think that immigrants- *LOUD GUITAR*' & i think that's a part of it too #is that a lot of people don't get that sometimes he's being ironic? he takes it too far and these days he's annoying #but idk ive seen certain instances where im like. that went over so many people's heads #idk i just dont think he's Evil and Malicious i think he's just a prick. like people can just be pricks even if they're super famous. wild #he's so fucking pretentious but he got famous for being REAL and his music has helped a lot of people because of how real it was #like i made a post a while ago about his song 'give yourself a try' and how the concept of it is literally #'life is a little bit shit to be quite honest with you and you WILL get fucked over by it and fuck yourself over but you're here anyway #so you might as well give it a go' like???? so many mental health ballads are like 'the world is So Beautiful and So Are You' #but matty healy ALWAYS has gone actually it isnt and you arent. whatever though #and i just really like that #ask #also big disclaimer that i dont have an encyclopedic knowledge of all the dumb shit matty healy has said ive just been listening #to the band for a while and have picked shit up along the way. if it turns out he's done some actually reprehensible shit that ive missed #then that's literally bc i do not actively run in 1975 circles and do not intend to ever start <3 so dont yell at me LMAO

[violentlydefending]

always baffled me a bit to see people upset about ogata dying at the end of gk as if he didn't have like an entire chapter dedicated to his death scene and consequently the culmination of his entire arc and also he died at the END therefore maximizing his potential screen time. what's to be disappointed about.

#no but actually i thought his death was really well done and was a fitting end for him? wat's the issue #he's not a character i've thought about A Lot outside of actively reading so maybe i'm missing smth if any1 has insight i'm here to hear #contra.txt #golden kamuy #golden kamuy spoilers #<- i guess. i forgot how long it's been since it ended LOL #don't think the anime's done yet though so

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director #and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production #and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out #but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again #i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately #so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me #i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me #i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added #and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad #anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much. #but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great #but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else #but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing #and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us #and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing #and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more #especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this. #and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not. #and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING #and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine. #but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad. #because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented #if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that. #but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent. #and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt #i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried. #and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over. #i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help #and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh #brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.

[outeremissary]

Oooh how about 18 (if you want to, it looked like a funny question), 32, and 37 for Balthazar?

I fear I'm going to disappoint you on 18- I don't have my ex's encyclopedic memory of B99 even if thanks to them I think I've seen the whole show about five times over. ^^;; But I can do my best for the others!

[prompt]

32. Your character is having a prom night/debs. What kind of outfit do they wear?

Hm, a modern question. Balthazar is so weird to define in modern style because we live in an era where masculine clothing is rather enclosed. I think being trans in a modern setting vs. a fantasy setting also comes with a different kind of weight. But there's a fantasy element to prom, and certainly a certain kind of spite that queer teens bring to it (at least in my own experience). His outfit is cobbled together from a combination of thrifted oddities and ordinary formalwear. The pride of this ensemble is a bright red blouse with ruffly poet sleeves that must have been nearly fifty years out of style. He goes as friends with Linzi and both of them are called vampire lesbians at school for a week afterwards. It's a nightmare.

At this point in his teen years he would have been a true terror if he'd been left in the Catholic school he went to when he was younger.

37. Your character has been kidnapped. Who has kidnapped them and how do they escape?

Hm, a lot of possible answers here. To seize on one that nearly did happen: one of Balthazar's great fears when he was younger and homeless for a time was getting picked up by any of the various cults that valued having a discount celestial on hand for various gruesome reasons- there's a reason the average lifespan of aasimar is so low. He was never very capable of defending himself despite his sorcerous abilities, so he slept with one eye open and was constantly paranoid about anyone he spent the night with. He can vividly remember an evening that he was approached by a pleasant, well-dressed woman who seemed especially set on talking to him; when she bent forward he caught the briefest glimpse of a death's head moth tattoo under her shirt. Even after he made his excuses and left the bar she had cornered him in, he kept thinking he caught saw someone from the corner of his eye following him throughout the evening. He ultimately spent the night on the floor of a temple of Abadar with a concerned young cleric near him. It's frighteningly easy to imagine what could have happened if he hadn't picked up anything strange about that woman. He could have easily gone along with her to her home- or wherever she decided to lead him- and woken up imprisoned who knows where (if he'd woken up at all).

If he was stuck in a situation like that, it would be difficult to escape, and it would have to be done fast. He would seize on the first opportunity he had with one of his captors alone to attempt to charm them into either giving him the opportunity to get away or getting close enough that if he put them under with a spell he could get either the keys (ideally) or a weapon away from them. There wouldn't be much more for it then except making a break for it and hoping he got lucky. Who knows- somehow his abysmally terrible luck somehow always balances out in the critical moment. Despite everything, maybe the gods look out for him after all.

#b99 and community had for years a similar grip on my ex as kingmaker has on me #I don't think I can ever watch b99 again even though I like it because for three straight years it was in the background almost constantly #regarding the modern au question I'm continuing to channel the lore established in 2020 #in a university au defined 90% through texts from last night jokes. premier worldbuilding. everything just for bits. #that's right: childhood friends balthazar and linzi is the product of just one text post that was funny to me at the time #they have a very up and down relationship in high school. this is one of their closer moments though. mlm/wlw solidarity #and since I've done so much commentary while writing already I'll say that a high awareness of exactly how aasimar are useful to occultists #is the reason that balthazar has never been deeper in anything to do with dark gods #why put yourself in a room with your natural predator without being sure you can survive? he's not that confident... not yet. #ask game #ask me emithing #balthazar lucienne #cassynite

[no-one-hears-me]

I've spent too much time on the verge of suicide to be here today

#suicide tw #that's genuinely embarrassing #why haven't I done it yet. what am I staying here for #the truth is that I am a hopeful person deep inside and I want a decent future #I don't want to die in misery without ever knowing anything different #but the realistic part of me knows that I will never live a peaceful life #my hope is built on the fact that much of my misery stems from my environment and therefore I think that leaving will make me happy #and there is so much truth to that. I would be happier in different circumstances #but that doesn't change the lifetime of abuse and social isolation that has fundamentally damaged me as a person #I will carry the past with me wherever I go and it's impossible for me to escape #I will never be someone that was equipped to function in society and that is no fault of mine but I alone carry the burden #which really upsets me. why is my life ruined over someone else's choices? it's so easy to destroy someone #and so I know I will never truly change #I've had an ed for over 5 years I've been casually suicidal for like 10 years. also this happened during important formative years #I'm never gonna be mentally healthy. why do I keep holding on to the future #I wanna do something drastic #I wanna cut people out of my life. like past friends that are somewhat current #I'm easy to take advantage of bc I'm so lonely and desperate for a friend #and I wanna stop talking to the people that don't value me bc I know they don't care and it makes me sad all the time #but the problem is that I am desperate for a friend. and I don't wanna lose anyone even if they are shitty #unfortunately I still love them even if they don't care about me #that's so pathetic tbh but I can't help it. I love everyone #Sera

[m4niackkyun]

Hi. (Announcement in the tags)

#uhmm...i don't know how to explain this... #so my family has been having a lot of trouble lately #mostly our relationship with our step father #there's been ups and downs..well..more on the downer side. the only main reason my mother married him was because of..well.. #money..as trash as that sounds. i can't deny the fact that I've been able to continue my studies due to his financial support. #i don't want to justify anything that i've probably done wrong to him but emotionally right now—i'm simply scarred to the point where— #I don't think I could heal without professional help. I've been struggling a lot with it ever since of what he did #i felt disgusted. dirty. I felt lost. I didn't want to forgive him. maybe this is the punishment i have to endure because I didn't have it— #—in me to forgive him. I know the principles of my religion and it is stated that one must always find forgiveness towards others. #no matter how big their mistake is. but you see—I'm not God. I am human. my kindness isn't as grand and as big as Him. #my patience is limited and so is my forgiveness #that applies the same to my mother. my mother is a very patient person when it comes to her husband. but yet again she isn't an angel— #nor is she God. she is also human and has limits to what she could handle and what she could forgive and forget. #they argued tonight. and I don't think it'll slide or end well like the past arguments. and I'm sorry to say but— #I won't be able to be active all that much either. #without him now I'll probably have to look for part time jobs. which is gonna limit how active I will be here and on my main account #I will probably go into an indefinite hiatus for some time #maybe I'll come back...maybe I won't. hopefully I will. just...pray for me that I have it in me to continue doing what I love and— #—sharing these little bits of what I do in my free time with you. #I won't have the time to reply to anything for the time being. college tests are on the way and I have to prepare myself for— #—the better or worse. #if things go downhill and you don't hear from me for a long while. then this will probably be my last post here. #I'll still be able to reply to messages on other platforms #but I just don't have the emotional stability to talk right now. No it's gonna be fine. I have faith in me and God. #I know that He doesn't put His children into burdens that none of them could handle. #and if He thinks I could handle this. then I will. and I can. He is with me and so is all of your faith. #that puts me in a sense of reassurance a little hahah... #yeah.. so...I'll see you then..bye.

[dallonwrites]

i love not counting word count literally only just found out that lover boy is past 10k. just a fun thursday night revelation

#12k apparently!!! 5k in the actual chronological draft but i know where most of that other 7k goes #its so easy to write when i sit down and do it like why did i write 2k words today..... #i've been doing this thing where i clearly separate free writing (where i have fun with an idea but don't tether it to a scene yet) and #actual drafting work...that has helped boost the word count and more importantly to me writing consistently #i just try to have an idea of where around the plot an idea will go which i know enough to do that now yay!!!! #the main thing is just keeping the balance i think ive been stuck on this first chapter #precisely because i want to be done with it LOL #usually do some free writing for warm up then actual chronological draft work later on if i have a free day #this is the best writing process i've ever had for a novel in terms of balancing my needs + getting the results i want so YAY!!!!!!