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#hades the roomba
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Headcanon: Thanatos from Hades is demisexual!
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Meet our contestants!
Seeding is in progress, the bracket should be done by tomorrow and Round One will begin! In the meantime send propaganda in the ask box!
List of the nominees under the cut:
Adora from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Aragorn from The Lord of the Ring
Ari Helix from Once and Future
Arthur from Code Geass
Arthur from Arthur King of Time and Space
Arthur from Shrek 3
Arthur from Disney’s The Sword in the Stone
Arthur Boyle from Fire Force
Arthur Dent from The Hitchhiker’s Guide of the Galaxy
Arthur King from King Arthur and the Knights of Justice
Arthur Kingsmen from Mystery Skull
Arthur Liebowitz from Fairy Odd Parents
Arthur Lester from Malevolent
Arthur Pendragon from BBC Merlin
Arthur Pendragon from Kaamelott
Arthur Pendragon from Seven Deadly Sins
Arthur Pendragon from The Mechanisms “High Noon over Camelot’’
Arthur Read from PBS’s Arthur
Bob from the Minion
Dave Strider from Homestuck
England from Hetalia
Excalibur from Soul Eater
Firestar from Warrior Cats
Fjord Stone from Critical Role
Flynn Carson from The Librarians
Jack and Annie from the Magic Tree House
Jim Lake Jr from Trollhunter Tales of Arcadia
John Uskglass from Jonathan Strange and Mr Nobell
King Arthur Baking Company from real life
King Arthur from Gargoyles
King Arthur from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
King Arthur from Quest for Camelot
King Artorius from Wizard 101
King from The Owl House
Ky Kiske from Guilty Gear
Larry the cat from real life
Link from The Legend Of Zelda
Little Josh from the Josh Figh
Lord Foog 2nd from internet meme
Lucille Kensington from Where the Stars Fell
Magnus Burnsides from The Adventure Zone
Martin the Warrior from The Redwall Series
Merric from Fire Emblem
Mario from Nintendo’s Paper Mario
Peter Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia
Poptropica Player Character from Poptropica
Prince Marth of Altea from Fire Emblem
Queen Elisabeth II’s ghost from real life
Rand Al’Thor from The Wheel of Time
Richard Campbell Gansey III from The Raven Cycle
Roland Deschain from The Dark Tower
Saber Artoria from Fate/Stay Night
Sailor Venus from Sailor Moon
Simon Snow from Carry On
Sonic the Hedgehog from Sonic and the Black Knight
Sora from Kingdom Heart
Stabby the Roomba from real life
Tedros from the School for Good and Evil
The lettuce who outlasted Liz Truss from real life
The little swedish girl who found a thousand year old sword in a lake from real life
The Luidaeg from The October Day Series
Thomas the Tank Engine from Thomas King of the Railway
Wart from The Once and Future King
Zagreus from Hades
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daz4i · 1 year
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kiki sat on the roomba (his name is hades) and turned it on. and then it ran vespi over so i started filming
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hopeshearthpod · 1 year
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ECH0 ft. The Hades Project
Our season 2 started with two guests from @thehadesprojectpod, Jupiter (@spaceeggscreams) and Erin, playing with Izze and Dirk.
They played Ech0 by Role Over Play Dead. Three siblings wander between decrepit mechs turned playground, leading the ghost of a dead pilot to their final resting place.
The Hades Project is a sci-fi horror audio drama about the crew of the USS Hades and their trip to Pluto. It seems to be going well, until things start going wrong.
It also has Stabby the Roomba.
Inspired by Wolf 359 and similar podcasts, this show has a delightful cast and an engaging storyline that will grab you and hold you until it's done with you.
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The Hades Project is a science fiction, horror podcast that follows the crew of The Hades as they journey on an exploration project to the planet of Pluto.
Their goal? A reconnaissance mission to see if the planet can be used for jailing convicts.
The journey? Well, it's much stranger than they thought it would be.
Hi, I'm Bri! I work on The Hades Project and I started this blog as a fun way to keep messing around with the show while we're between seasons! You may have seen this type of thing on Twitter, that one's also me!
What's The Hades Project you may ask? Well up above this message is the show's pitch! Hades Project is a podcast inspired by other space podcasts about a crew who are sent to Pluto in order to determine how well the planet could be used for holding convicts, but what the crew doesn't realize is that they're in for more than just an easy trip.
From knife wielding roombas to potential ghost demons on the vents, this ship has everything! Just be sure to read the trigger warnings of each episode
Personally I'm the creator and voice of Mal Paulitious! Our crew manifesto (which can be found on Twitter @HadesProjectPod) has this to say about her "A chemical pathologist with an optimism that outshines the stars around them. Mal is warm and friendly, with a desire to help everyone around her. Oh, and she wears a quilted plague mask." Yes, the quilted plague mask is very important to her character 😂
But we also have many other lovable characters such as "grumpy captain who's not here to make friends", "commander who has to struggle to keep her idiot scientists from killing themselves", and even "a depressed scientist just doing their best. No, not that one! Not that one either! No, the other one! How many sad scientists are on this ship???"
If you like laughs and great characters mixed in with the most angst filled storyline known to man, then the Hades Project is for you!! You can find it on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Castbox, Good Pods, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, Radio Public, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube!! Or you can visit the show directly at https://www.thehadesproject.com/
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kittleskittle · 4 years
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Bonus:
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Thank you AGAIN for your amazing modern AU niloy headcanons @tsvaling they give me life
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just-antithings · 3 years
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Just an anti thing : Accusing someone of wanting to fuck their brother for shipping incest and then immediatly turn around and call them 'a 12 year old' and 'a kid', as if the above statement is an acceptable thing to say to a real 12 years old.
Please do not say sexually explicit things to 12 year olds, jesus fucking christ.
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Maleficent: You’re leaving us with a babysitter?!
Sky: I have to.
Hades: For gods sakes, we’re not little kids!
Sky: Your past actions say otherwise
All villains: Explain!
Sky: Alright then
Sky, points to Pete: Nearly sold my social security to a ‘Nigerian Prince’.
Sky, points to Cruella: Destroyed the roomba because it was making distress noises.
Sky, points to Scar, Khan, and Zira: Fucked up all the curtains, rugs, and couches because someone activated zoom mode on em.
Sky, points to Hook: Kept ordering from Grubhub because he didn’t understand why the food wasn’t getting here fast enough.
Sky, points to Maleficent: Nearly killed the pizza guy.
Hook:…Ok you may have some what of a point.
Kronk: Will you be gone long?
Sky: Well, lawsuit cases can be either short or long we’ll see.
Jafar: What are you being sued over this time?
Sky: The pizza guy didn’t like nearly being killed.
Maleficent: Dramatic.
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sapphic-seph · 3 years
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Hadestown as Things my Friends have Said
Featuring our 48 page long document of “Crew Quotes” Some of them are a little cursed, you’ve been warned.  Orpheus: Why do you wear sweatpants so often- Eurydice, in a foreign accent: I NEED ROOM FOR MY LITTLE LEGGIES Hades: I am NOT paying child support for fourteen children, sorry.  Persephone: *sitting on a counter with her feet up* Eurydice: What are you, six? Persephone: Yeah- six feet taller than you- Persephone, awake at four am: Kinky roombas.  Eurydice: *being productive* Orpheus: *beating a tree with a stick* Orpheus: *eating a banana* Hermes: Get that weewee out of your mouth! Persephone: Oh? It's my turn to clean the bathrooms? Hm, well then. Could you pass the drain cleaner? I'm thirsty. Orpheus and Hades: *arguing*  Eurydice: There’s too much testosterone. Stop fighting about who has the most hammer injuries! The Fates, trying to cheer Eurydice up for once: “Attention seeker, he uSED YOU AND CAN GO EAT A CHERRY SHAPED LIKE AN ASS-”
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Headcanon: Dusa from Hades is aromantic asexual!
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More infos on Revival Rounds
After this Round ends we'll have a short hiatus from the main tournament for 4 one-day revival rounds. We will start with the losers of round 1 of the main tournament and work up from there until 4 characters comes on top and join the competition. It will be organised like this:
Round 1: 4 polls of 8 (32 round 1 losers)
-> top 2 of each poll go up (8 total)
Round 2: 4 polls of 6 (16 round 2 losers + 8)
-> top 2 of each poll go up (8 total)
Round 3: 4 polls of 4 (8 round 3 losers + 8)
-> top 2 of each poll go up (8 total)
Round 4: 4 polls of 3 (4 round 4 losers + 8)
-> top 1 of each poll go back to the main tournament for the quarter finales!
All the character have been randomly put into 4 groups and those will only change if characters who already met in the main bracket end up against each other again.
Revival Round 1 will start on May 7th at 8 am UTC.
Groupes under the cut!
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GROUPE A
Round 1
Ari Helix (Once and Future)
England (Hetalia)
Wart (The Once and Future King by T.H. White)
King Arthur (Quest for Camelot)
Peter Pevensie (Chronicles of Narnia)
Tedros (The School for Good and Evil)
Jim Lake Jr (Trollhunters Tales of Arcadia)
Round 2
Thomas the Tank Engine (Thomas and Friends: King of the Railway)
Saber Artoria (Fate Stay Night)
Fjord Stone (Critical Role)
King Arthur (Gargoyles)
+ winners of Round 1
Round 3
Jack and Annie (The Magic Tree House)
Adora (She-Ra and the Princess of Power)
+ winners of Round 2
Round 4
To be determined + winners of Round 3
GROUPE B
Round 1
Ky Kiske (Guilty Gear)
Arthur (Arthur King of Time and Space)
Prince Marth of Altea (Fire Emblem)
Firestar (Warrior Cats)
Martin the Warrior (Redwall)
Arthur Liebowitz (Fairy Odd Parents)
Arthur (Shrek 3)
Rand Al’Thor (The Wheel of Time)
Round 2
Zagreus (Hades)
The Luidaeg (October Daye)
Lord Foog the 2st
Arthur Dent (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
+ winners of Round 1
Round 3
King (The Owl House)
King Arthur (Monty Python)
+ winners of Round 2
Round 4
To be determined + winners of Round 3
GROUPE C
Round 1
King Arthur Baking Company
Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Arthur (Code Geass)
John Uskglass (Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell)
Arthur Pendragon (Kaamelott)
Queen Elisabeth’s ghost
Merric (Fire Emblem)
Arthur King (King Arthur and the Knights of Justice)
Round 2
Arthur (Disney's Sword in the Stone)
Roland Deschain (The Dark Tower)
Arthur Pendragon (Seven Deadly Sins)
Arthur Lester (Malevolent)
+ winners of Round 1
Round 3
Stabby the Roomba
Link (The Legend of Zelda)
+ winners of Round 2
Round 4
To be determined + winners of Round 3
GROUPE D
Round 1
Lucille Kensington (Where the Stars Fell)
Bob (The Minions)
Magnus Burnsides (The Adventure Zone)
Arthur Boyle (Fire Force)
Sailor Venus (Sailor Moon)
Poptropica PC (Poptropica Astroknight Island)
King Artorius (Wizard 101)
Arthur Kingsmen (Mystery Skull)
Round 2
Simon Snow (Carry On)
Richard Campbell Gansey III (The Raven Cycle)
Flynn Carson (The Librarians)
Arthur Pendragon (The Mechanisms' High Noon Over Camelot)
+ winners of Round 1
Round 3
Excalibur (Soul Eater)
Arthur Read (Arthur)
+ winners of Round 2
Round 4
To be determined + winners of Round 3
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misterewrites · 5 years
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Jack’s Annoyingly Insightful Mall Trip
Hello everyone, Mr.E here with a fun little story. Working hard to get back into to writing and today I am happy to bring you a little nova story! YAY! been forever. So I have to make this quick because it’s late but basically my good friend deth @marionette-j2x asked me for a little oneshot story and here it is.
So basically a kinda noncanon story that is set a few months after the last major story arc of Nova vs. Jack is searching for a new bowtie in the one place he hates the most: the mall. During his search, he runs into a familiar blue haired maid and makes a deal in exchange to save his beloved accessory. 
That’s it for me for now. I am a bit rusty but I hope you enjoy the story. Also slight nova spoilers.  Jelina everyone’s favorite blue haired maid belongs to my good friend deth @marionette-j2x and Jack is mine. Have an amazing week and I’ll see you all soon!
Jack mumbled unhappily to himself as he wandered the Echo Creek Mall alone, the handful of people scattered about really highlighting the vast emptiness of the building.
Normally Jack wouldn’t have come at all on a Monday but with his mother currently overseas and the need for a new bowtie imminent, he had no choice to but brave the sea of similar stores trying to sell him the same thing.
He had been hoping his two best friends would have been able to join him on this trip but naturally the two were quick to play their excuses: Nova was supposedly forced to go to Mewni with her mother and Connor claimed that he was currently trying to prevent roombas from escaping into the outside world.
Jack scoffed in disbelief “They’re vacuum cleaners. Of course they don’t have any natural predators”
Jack stopped mid-step once he remembered what exactly Connor’s parents did for a living.
“Oh that’s actually terrifying.”
He shook his head, trying to clear the thought away as he resumed his search.
His eyes lazily glanced from storefront to storefront, each increasingly less appealing than the last.
A sigh escaped his lips as Jack rubbed the now empty space where his beloved bowtie once was. He felt so off without his signature accessory but nothing could be done about it. It was torn and Jack’s years of ignoring his mother trying to teach him how to maintain and fix various fabrics had gotten back at the magician at least.
Not that he would ever admit that.
Jack scratched his cheek mindlessly, trying his best to stay focus on the task but between the fact that he didn’t really want to be here especially alone and that none of the bowties he had seen so far really spoke to him, he really just wanted to go home and risk heading to the monthly magician’s meeting tie less.
“Ugggggggggggggh” Jack whined “Whyyyyyy is this so annoyingly hard? Why can’t it be like those cartoons where the character wanders around for like a second and then the perfect bowtie is just there, gleaming brightly within some unrealistic angelic glow, beckoning them to buy them. Probably at an insanely high price for comedic effect.” Jack gave a playful shrug “Thank Hades I’m rich annnnnd I’m talking to myself. Yeah, time to go.”
He pivoted on his feet, turning towards entrance when he was blinded by a harsh light. He covered his eyes, hissing furiously.
“Whoops” a voice called out “Sorry about that. Let me just put the cover back on annnnnd...”
The lights dimmed as Jack rubbed his eyes. He squinted carefully at the man putting the plastic covering back onto the overhead lights.
“Sorry kid!” The janitor apologized while he climbed down the ladder “I forget how bright these bulbs are.”
Jack groaned, absolutely done with this entire trip when he spotted a familiar person.
His eyes narrowed, unable to keep the glare out of his gaze as she came strolling into the mall.
Jack ducked behind a nearby trash can, squatting low to make sure Jelina didn’t see him.
His mind raced with suspicious thoughts: Though Star and the council had cleared Kim and his maids several months ago citing some sort of mind control played a part in Nova’s abduction, Jack was naturally less inclined to trust them. Especially with the whole shooting a rocket at him and his favorite human.
Might’ve made it a bit personal to him.
Just a little.
If Jack didn’t know better (Which, luckily, he did) he would’ve guessed she was a simple, slightly robotic looking human just exploring the mall. She was dressed far more casually than the last time the two meet: A blue blouse with black undershirt, dark blue demi jeans and flipflops though she still kept her hair up in her buns with her two headphone..antennas? Were they antennas or…
“Focus Jack!” the magician scolded himself.
He expected Kim and her sisters to come walking in after her but aside from checking her comically large purse for a moment and quizzically staring at her surroundings, no one came and Jelina tentatively began walking towards the center of the mall.
Jack rose to full height, still openly glaring. She had to be up to something! She was a demon lord’s maid and Jack knew first hand the only reason demons come to Earth was because they’re bored. He should know that’s why he lived here.
“Hey kid.” The janitor asked with a hint of concern “Are...are you okay? You’re still squinting. I-I can get you some eye drops if you need them.”
“I’m fine” Jack growled
“…..okay.”
Jack bolted, quickly closing the gap between him and Jelina. He was going to find out what evil deed she was up to, no matter how long it took!
10 minutes later
“Ugggggggggggggh” Jack whined, trying his best to prevent boredom from overtaking his resolve as he hid against a wall.
Jelina was a very uninteresting subject to follow. So far she wandered aimlessly, taking a second to look at a store or vendor booth before timidly shuffling to another location. Once or twice she would take a step forward towards entering a place before changing her mind and altering course. The only thing that seemed to really catch her attention were some stuff animals at a toy store but even that wasn’t enough to lure her within. Jack was starting to suspect she knew someone was tailing her and was trying to bore them into leaving. That was the only explanation he could think of about her strange actions though he was fairly certain she wasn’t aware of who was on her trail.
“Hello Mr. Ordonia”
Jack jumped back startled, wincing in pain when the back of his skull slammed into the wall behind him.
“Oww! Son of...” He grimaced.
Jelina’s face was indifferent though Jack could see the subtle crook of a smile.
“I am sorry if I startled you” She spoke neutrally “It was not my intention.”
“Sure” Jack replied sarcastically “How did you even know I was here?”
Jelina gestured to her headphones “I heard you talking to yourself about me. I suspect you assume I am for some sinister purpose. I can assure you I am simply a tourist today.”
“A tourist? To Earth?” Jack rose an eyebrow “No demon is that bored!”
“Good thing I am a cyborg.” Jelina answered. Jack could hear the sass behind those words.
“Let’s say I believe you.” Jack began.
“You clearly don’t.”
Jack ignored her “Why the mall? This place isn’t even exciting during peak hours. Pretty strange place to pick on your day off. If it is your day off!”
Jack gave an accusatory point with his finger but Jelina just nodded “Yes it is in fact my day off.”
Jack’s finger dropped as he tried to process this information “I...but...”
“To speed this along, my lord, my sisters and I are currently under probation. After being monitored for several months along with full cooperation, the council has agreed to lift the dimensional travel ban under the condition we do not cause further trouble. Master Kim felt terrible about the situation we accidentally were dragged into and gave us each a day off.”
“So where are your sisters?” Jack eyed the surroundings carefully, half expecting them to jump out in an ambush.
Jelina took a deep breath “While I am grateful and respect the lord of the manor, I am afraid we would return to a pile of ash if we left Master Kim unattended for a day.  
Jack laughed “Hahah that’s funny. Demon lords are so helpless.”
“Like you?”
Jack huffed causing Jelina to grin mischievously
“So let me guess, it’s your turn and you decided to come to a mall?”
“Of course.”
“Why?”
It was subtle but there was a shift in Jelina’s stance. What was once indifference was now guarded though timid.
“I am afraid to admit to you that I do not leave the house often.”
“No kidding” Jack smirked.
It was Jelina’s turn to glare “Well in any case I decided my first trip onto Earth should be the mall. It is such staple of many movies it seemed a perfect first choice.”
“Riiiiiight okay I’m going to go now. Bye!”
“Wait.”
Jack paused, surprised at the softness in the maid’s voice.
“I...” Jelina gulped nervously “I...don’t know how this works….”
“The mall? It’s not….” Jack caught the embarrassed blush on her cheeks “...always easy to navigate the first time.”
Jack let out a sigh “Okay, look if I help you through the mall, can you do me a favor?”
“Oh?” Jelina tiled her head quizzically “I admit I wasn’t expecting that to be honest but I suppose if it’s within my power and reasonable.”
“You’re a maid, right?”
“You know this Mr. Ordonia.”
Jack narrowed his eyes at the smiling Jelina “Call me Jack. Anyway, I take it you have someone who maintains Kim’s clothing? Like a tailor?”
Jelina nodded in agreement “Yes. Do you need something made or repaired?”
“Yeaaaah. If I show you around the mall, will you have them fix my bowtie?”
“That seems fair though you may have to wait a while for the tailor to perform their work.”
“That’s fine, better than wandering this hellscape for a replacement. Alright, where do you want to go first?”
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“Sooooo” Jack gestured halfheartedly to the loose circle of various food booths “This is the food court where there is a court..of food.”
Jelina’s blue eyes sparkled with excitement “Interesting though I imagine this must be difficult for someone particularly indecisive. I am surprised the Underworld hasn’t adopted this as a form of torture.”
“Oh I’m sure my father is working on it” Jack murmured unhappily.
Jelina glanced at the half demon out of the corner of her eye but decided it was best to say nothing.
“Do you think we can try one?”
“Umm yeah...sure. What are you feeling? Burger? Chicken bowl? Pizza?”
“…..”
Jack rose an eyebrow as Jelina stood there, eyes darting back and forth between the various options.
“You trying to pick?”
“Yes”
“Indecisive, are we?”
Jelina’s indifferent face broke into a surprisingly cute pout that caught Jack completely unaware.
“No, I am calculating the best choice for a meal.”
“Yeah, I’m not buying that.”
“That is because you suck Jack.”
Jelina giggled playfully, breaking into a sprint as Jack gave chase.
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Jack lazily tossed a fry into his mouth as Jelina cheerfully finished up her burger.
“I think I want to go here” Jelina gestured to a storefront, making her way within with Jack close behind.
“There seems to be a theme here.” Jelina thought out while she took in the various clothing options and designs “Are you sure a demon didn’t create a mall?”
Jack shrugged “Who knows but either way they were clearly some sort of evil.”
Jelina pursed her lips, eyes scanning the room as she wandered about.
Jack rolled his eyes, batting at various articles of clothing out of boredom. Just pat that, move this, touch this jacket for a while because the fabric felt nice.
“Jack?”
Jack snapped out of his thought, dropping the jacket sleeve as Jelina stared at him curiously.
“Are you alright? You weren’t talking about yourself so I assumed you had been arrested for shoplifting.”
“Ha ha. Shows what you know, I wouldn’t have been caught.” Jack beamed with pride.
“And you’re proud of this?”
Jack grumbled “You are just the worst….”
“Anyway” Jelina continued “I managed to find some clothes my sisters would love.”
Jack glanced over the articles of clothing and scoffed, snatching them from Jelina’s grip and shoving them onto the clearance rack.
“Hey! I was going to buy those!” Jelina angrily shouted, reaching for the discarded clothing only to have Jack stop her with an outstretched hand.
“No you’re not. That brand is my mom’s chief rival. You don’t want that trash.”
“I will not conform to your biases Jack. If I wish to buy these items, I will.”
“Fine but you’re going to have to have your tailor stitch holes and tears by next week assuming if they even last that long. The fabric is cheap, the sewing shoddy and it’s overpriced.”
Jelina rose an eyebrow “and I’m supposed to believe you?”
Jack waved his hand dismissively as he made his way out of the store “What do I care? It’s your money you’re wasting. My mom’s a lot of things but at least she takes pride in her work.”
Jelina thoughtfully watched the retreating figure of the magician.
Jack fumed on the outside bench, hands cradling his head while he murmured to himself “I really shouldn’t have said anything. What does it even matter? I don’t care. Why should I care what she spends her money on?”
What was he even doing? This was the same person that tried to blow him apart half a year ago and while she ultimately helped and even saved his life, it was less of being a good person and more to save her master. He should just go home and accept that his bowtie was dead and there was nothing to do but give it a proper viking funeral.
Jack went silent as he heard the clack, clack, clack of Jelina’s flip flops approaching.
“I take it your mother is a fashion designer?”
Jack scoffed “What gave it away?”
“Since you convinced me not to buy second rate clothing that my sisters would’ve adored, can you help me find your mother’s brand? And for your sake, they better be as cute as the ones I found.”
“….Fine but only because my mom would kill me if I didn’t at least try to push a sale.”
Jelina gave Jack a gentle smile.
Jack coughed awkwardly as he stood up.
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“So does Master Kim not give you ice cream or do you not know what it is?” Jack teased as the two patiently waited in the line.
Well Jelina was waiting patiently, Jack had his arm crossed, tapping his foot in an annoying fashion.
“Of course I know what ice cream is Jack” Jelina shot back “But this would be the first time in a long time that I wouldn’t have to fight off my sisters for such a treat.”
“Why don’t you all just buy your own?”
“We do. We really just love ice cream.”
“I can strangely relate. I too usually am trying steal ice cream from my friends.”
“I cannot see why Connor puts up with your antics”
“Probably my charm and good grace.”
“It’s certainly not for you humor that’s for sure.”
Jack mumbled under his breath while Jelina gave a crooked smirk. He opened his mouth retort when he caught sight of the headphones covering her ears. She had been wearing them all day. He assumed that it was a personal preference but in this moment, he couldn’t help but recall her words earlier. She was a cyborg which meant she possessed robotic parts intermixed within her human body.
Did Kim do this to her? Was it to save her life or maybe to ruin it? Demons weren’t exactly known for their kindness and that thought made Jack squirm uneasily.
“Stop staring Jack. It’s quite rude and for you, that’s saying something.”
Jack snapped out of it, trying to ignore the icy glance the blue haired maid was sending his way.
“I wasn’t staring, I was thinking.”
Jelina’s eyes widened in surprise “That explains the smoke coming out of your ears. Must be overworking your poor brain.”
���More like underworking.”
“That’s not a word.”
“And you’re not even human!”
Jack hadn’t meant to snap. He didn’t even know why he responded so poorly. It wasn’t anger. It wasn’t even embarrassment. Maybe some part of him realized how much fun he was having with a near stranger. Maybe he was scared of being lured into a false sense of security, of being set up for some malicious or ill intent. Maybe it was because how easy it was to be so comfortable Jelina that threw him off. He had only met her twice and he already felt like he knew her his entire life. A strange and foreign connection that formed far more quickly than he expected. Someone as sassy and witty as him that he didn’t mind spending time with.  
There was a thick pause as the words tumbled out of Jack’s mouth. If Jelina was hurt or shocked by his response, she didn’t show it but Jack could feel her attitude shift, a distance that wasn’t there before  suddenly grew once more.
Jelina sighed “I am human. Just not completely. Was that what you were thinking of?”
“I...”
“Everyone does” Jelina spoke softly “Sooner or later they noticed my antennas or my headphones or the camera lens in my eyes.”
Jack was confused “Wait, there’s camera lens in your...”
“And they always think how human I must really be” Jelina pushed on “I am very human Mr. Ordonia.”
“Wait, that’s not what I...”
“I think I should go.” there was a finality in her voice that made Jack fidget guiltily.
She turned to him, shook his hand politely and gave a little nod “Thank you for your time”
“Hey wait a minute” Jack growled “I wasn’t thinking about how human you are. I was thinking….”
Jelina was unconvinced “You do not have to lie to me Mr. Ordonia. I know it is your prefer method of avoiding responsibility but I can assure you I am used such responses.”
“Fine” Jack huffed “Fine, what do I care? Just...fine!”
Jack stomped off, unable to control his rage despite his best efforts.
This is why he didn’t help people. This is why he hated the mall and this is why he was just going to go straight home.
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He hadn’t. Guilt set in shortly after and when he returned to fix his mistakes like Connor taught him, Jelina was nowhere to be seen.
Many people who knew Jack would assume by performing this bare minimum effort to apologize he would clear his conscience and was now able to go home.
But those who truly knew him knew what he was about to do, driven by deep seated moral code he pretended he didn’t have.
He searched the mall. The second floor, the various stores, the court of food, even asking people to check the bathrooms for him. Seconds into minutes into an hour and still he searched.
He nearly gave up and took the weight of his guilt home with him until he heard the scuffling of sneakers across the sleek mall floor somewhere close by. Jack may have been a subpar student with an attention span of a rodent when forced to deal with things he’d rather not but that didn’t mean he was some simpleton.
That particular squeak was caused when someone was putting all their weight down on the balls of their feet, usually in order to brace for impact or preparing to lunge at someone.
Jack rounded the corner to a group of older teens, hands clenched into fists and snarling at Jelina who stood in front a younger girl who clutched at the blue haired maid’s bag fearfully.
“We just wanted the money she owed us” One of the boys shouted, eyes narrowing in righteous fury.
“Stop lying” Jelina scoffed “I know a bully when I see one. You will leave this poor girl alone.”
The trio laughed “Or what?”
“You really don’t want to know” Jack spoke up without warning.
The tap on his shoulder caused one of the bullies to whirl around in surprise, fist raised but Jack had flicked his nose, sending the unprepared bully staggering backwards.
“You best be off and mind your own business.” The leader spoke up, eyes shifting warily between Jelina and Jack on either side of him.
“Bold words for someone whose on fire.”
“What?”
Before anyone realized what was going on, the teen who stumbled over Jack’s sneak attack spontaneously caught ablaze,  flame burning the fabric for a moment as smoke rose upwards. An alarm blared while the sprinklers sprung to life, dousing the flame and bullies into a soppy wet mess. They shouted obscene curse words as they bolted past the lazy magician, tripping and flailing of over the slippy wet floor, the yells of the security guard trailing close behind the trio as they attempted to escape.
Jelina sighed in relief before glancing at the little girl “Are you safe?”
She nodded happily “Thank you!” and she launched herself into Jelina’s arm, wrapping the maid in a tight hug before leaving to search for her mother.
Jelina smiled warmly at the act but when she glanced back, Jack was nowhere to be seen.
Jelina raced down the hallway as quickly as she could only to find Jack casually leaning against the wall, grinning mischievously at the sight of the bullies being hauled away by mall security for setting a fire.
Jelina stood there awkwardly, unsure what to say to the demonic prince. While she no doubt could’ve handled those punks with no issues, she was grateful she didn’t have to wipe blood from her knuckles.
“You’re welcome.”
Jack’s soft voice surprised Jelina.
“I could’ve handled it myself but thank you all the same”
Jack stretched his arms “I know but I figured this was better than you getting in trouble with the council. Wouldn’t want you to be stuck at home for another god knows how many months.”
Jelina hadn’t thought of that. Had she picked the fight with the bullies, even in self defense and defense of another, it was entirely possible the council would’ve viewed it as causing trouble and forced her under harsh monitoring.
“….Thank you Jack.”
Jack grinned impishly “There’s the real one. Well since that concludes our business together.”
Jack pushed off the wall, turning away towards the exit when a hand gripped his shoulder gently.
“Jack….what were you thinking when you were lost in thought?”
“Oh now you believe me.” Jack raised an eyebrow.
Jelina pulled back her hand “You did set someone on fire for me after presumably looking to apologize. It’s only fair I hear what lie you came up with.”
“I never apologize” Jack exclaimed before glancing away “But I have to admit when I really thought about your….cyborgness...”
“Not a word.” Jelina cut in.
“Not caring” Jack continued “I wasn’t thinking if you were human because you clearly are. Like duh. I was thinking did Kim save you or did he do that to you. Demon lords aren’t exactly known….”
“For their kindness” Jelina finished “That is a fair question. I am not used to someone who understands the inter workings of demonic culture so intimately.”
“Yeah me either.”
Jelina paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts and deciding on how best to answer the question “Yes Master Kim did perform the operation on me though it was to save my life and the lives of my sisters. We owe him so much and he has always been kind to us. That’s why we refused to leave his side even when he was clearly not himself.”
“And why you were willing to free me and Connor.” Jack filled in.
Jelina nodded in agreement “You were our best hope….I am sorry I assumed poorly of you. Despite this last hour, I had fun today.”
“Well I didn’t”
Jelina’s face fell “Oh….I...”
“But” Jack rubbed his neck timidly “That’s my fault. I was so caught up in your angle and what you were planning that I pretty much was on guard about everything. When I finally actually stopped and looked at you, thinking about what you’ve been through….well I dunno I guess I wasn’t liking the fact you weren’t as bad as I thought you were. Even if you are really annoying.”
Jelina stifled a chuckle “Just because I do not think poorly of you does not mean you are not irritating.”
“Look, about the bowtie….”
“Oh right” Jelina snapped fingers “Do you have it on you? Given how far you were willing to go just to repair it, I suspect you do.”
“Yes” Jack began slowly “But given how much trouble I almost got you in, it’s okay if...”
“Hand it over Hellspawn.”
Jack wasn’t sure how to feel about the sudden name calling, no matter how accurate, and decided perhaps it was best to just to give her the bowtie. He fished it gingerly out of his pocket and carefully handed it over. It didn’t really matter, the tailor must’ve been back in the Underworld and lord knows how long it took them to fix tears on fabrics. It was only fair that he wait however long it took.
Jelina studied the rip on the strap cautiously as she fished out a small square kit from her purse. She pulled out a sewing needle and thread and before Jack could mutter a single confused curse, she began stitching the beloved bowtie back together, her work fast, efficient and effortlessly. Less than a minute later, the repair work was complete and Jack held his precious bowtie in his hand good as new.
“Thank you for a wonderful day Jack.” Jelina politely bowed and quickly strolled away.
“You are the literal worst maidy!” Jack called out, no real bite to his insult.
Jelina simply smiled to herself, humming softly as she made her way back home.
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sakurabunnie · 4 years
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Random Headcanons for Maxwell Lavellen
Maxwell’s name was Prometheus back when he lived as Azem
He was responsible for both the creation of Moogle and Paissa (Which is ironic considering the trouble Paissa give him in his current life)
Would constantly get updates about Hades from Hythlodaeus when he was out traveling because Hades could never be bothered to contact him. He always had Hythlodaeus bother Hades constantly in his stead since he didn’t want Hades to get lonely while he was away
Maxwell’s birth name was actually Maxwell Trevelyan but he changed it when he signed up for the Adventurer’s guild because he wanted to completely separate himself from his family. Which ended up for the best because so far he’s been lucky enough that his enemies made the connection between him and his family. At this point in his life though he considers Maxwell Lavellan his true name.
Hooked Captain Carvallain up with some business contracts with his older brothers’ merchant business as an apology for blackmailing him about his past. He understands what it’s like to want to start a new life under a new name.
Has a major sweet tooth and constantly frequents his Miqote friend’s bakery to buy desserts (At this point he could be considered one of the bakery’s best patrons with how often buys from them)
Absolutely HATES fighting giant bugs. They gross him out and fighting Ravana was a huge nightmare.
No one can stop him from collecting minions no matter how hard they try. At this point he was over 200 and it would turn Thancred’s hair white if it weren’t practically that color already
His older brothers know he’s the Warrior of Light and maintain contact with him, but they always come visit him at the Rising Stones under the guise of doing business with the Scions to help keep their relationship a secret. Only the Scions know about their true relationship with Maxwell.
He put a little maid cap on his Atrophied Atomos and uses it as a roomba
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