#had to work w people I usually don't work with esp on closes and that already made it uncomfortable routine wise

[dykefaggotry]

I love when autism makes ur whole day upsetting when it's a completely normal day for anyone else simply bc your routine was thrown off multiple times

#had to work w people I usually don't work with esp on closes and that already made it uncomfortable routine wise #I also slept in later than usual bc my neighbors kept me awake till 3am with loud fucking jazz music #so it's my own fault I slept in but I still didn't get my Morning Routine of an episode of spn and chilling #and then usually on sundays eliot goes grocery shopping w his parents while I'm at work but bc of some miscommunication #I ended up going instead of him After work #and other stuff I'm simply sgshdhsjshss I am Struggling #I'm so tired of needing routines I would like to be done w autism any time now #I used to think I didn't need routines but any time my routine is off the gorilla in my brain starts shaking its cage angrily

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if I started a different discord chat for my friend group just to exclude one person

I know it sounds bad and that I'm just starting shit but we've all been friends for 10+ years now so it's not something I'm considering lightly. We currently have a private discord server of just the 4 of us that we switched to as opposed to a traditional gc since we all have different phones and its good for having multiple conversations, quality photos and videos, and keeping a clear record of when and where plans are made

Anyway, this isn't a recent problem but the friend (A) has always had a tardiness problem it started with her not being able to wake up early in the morning but even if we have late night/afternoon plans she still can't get dressed and/or finish her makeup on time and causes us to be consistently at least 1 hour late which I was hoping she'd start growing out of after highschool but this isn't the case (we're now all 22+) and is especially frustrating when going out to eat bc by the time we leave all of us are hangry and expected to eat hours earlier. Recently A has started prioritizing other friends of hers which is nbd she can have other friends we all do except she'll drop plans last min with us to go with them which is also annoying bc it's disrespectful for the rest of us to be blown off like that. We're clearly not her priority anymore but she always expects to be ours, plans have to be on her work schedule, on her timeframe, on if she will be tired etc. plus being an afterthought leaves out a friend in the group (B) who had to move out of state with family and now he can't tell if we're making plans behind *his* back and he feels left in the dark when in truth he knows as much as I and the other local friend (C) do

It's to the point we've stopped doing any plans that start before like 2pm because we can't rely on her to be ready but she'll be upset if we don't wait for her while she's still getting ready, esp cuz we usually carpool, which already limits what we want to do together in the first place

However, it was my birthday recently and I'm currently ~2hr drive (no more than 3 with heavy traffic) from A and C, who doesn't have a car and needs to be picked up by A. I really wanted to go to my fav breakfast place and had some other plans for after and I kept emphasizing what time A needed to get here because the place closes early (they only serve breakfast). And at this point no one should be surprised she didn't arrive until after 1pm, after the place was closed, and at that point no one had eaten all day so we had to rush and find somewhere else that'd be open and nearby bc we were all starving and half my plans for the day were gone bc they were based on places we'd go after breakfast that also close in the afternoon (2-5 depending on the place) and since they are my closest friends and dont know my other friends who live closer and I've only known for less than 2 yrs (who I wasn't comfortable to ask for bday presents from yet still) (still got one from 1 even tho I insisted they didn't have to tho lol) they were the only people I made solid birthday plans with this year so it was really heartbreaking to deal with and have everything I was excited for be cancelled since it's hard for me to go out like this on my own w anxiety and busy work schedule too but I scheduled the day off. I was hoping that she would try even just a little bit because it was my birthday the one day I ask for literally anything and we rarely see each other now bc of conflicting work schedules and I DID plan for her to be semi late in secret but I didn't expect her to arrive for breakfast after 12

Anyway that's the whole backstory plus the recent straw on the camel's back but I just want to make a new chat between me, B, and C, to plan virtual movie and game nights bc she never reads the events chat anyway and all our online call plans grind to a halt for hours or days waiting for an answer bc at least C still wants to try and include A even tho her schedule is so busy or she's tired or will prob be late to the call and make us wait for her or cancel or leave early or we debate what game/movie A wants but she doesn't even NEED to be there it's just like.. Minecraft. Or a pirated 90s movie we're streaming or wtvr

I've tried saying like "hey I'm gonna be playing x on Saturday if anyone's free come and join me" but that usually just ends in me gaming alone bc it's so noncommittal the others will catch up on other work they have but really I'm just trying to hang with any of them even if 1 person can't make it at the time we don't always have to only call in a group yk?

A is nice otherwise like she's still my friend just planning anything with her is starting to be like pulling teeth and I still want to keep in touch with her and hear how she's doing from our discord server but stuff like that I just want to start separating her from weekly calls (which are currently more like monthly) bc she's so flakey but I know it's kinda shitty to purposefully leave her out and she'd be upset if she ever found out I was doing that.

I'm also open to advice on how to deal with this situation in general, thus the detail, without causing a huge fight or make anyone pick sides +her tardiness won't be something we can talk through it's something we've worked on for years and recently have just given up and accepted since she's late even to things that are important to her

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[destinyc1020]

I think a lot of the Austin hate now stems from Jacob fans, bt i find many of Jacobs "fans" to b very fleeting. i think the voice comments will always b there bt a lot of ppl got over the unjustified rumors of him cheating on Vanessa and ppl do think he/Kaia gerbers age gap is weird (ik i do 🥴) bt Austin just got famous from Elvis last yr n I dnt really think Kaia is that relevant in pop culture so some ppl will point it out bt I think their kinda overlooked as a couple. I think over time he will b fine though his fanbase seems to b strong

Yea, the Elvis/Jacob/Austin comparisons were bound to happen, so that was a given. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I still don't really get the voice thing tbh. Yea, his voice might be slightly different, but if you compare it to 7 years ago, his voice/accent basically sounds the same. He just has an older voice now, and maaaybe a less hard enunciation of certain words probably due to the Elvis vocal training all those years. But other than that?? People drove that voice thing into the ground imo.

Look, even Tom has an older voice now. That's what normally happens when you age. Your voice (yes, even women's voices) change a little, and usually get deeper with age.

But yea, I'm sure eventually people will get over it with him just like they got over the Anne Hathaway hate...

I'll address the Kaustin and Vanessa stuff below 👇:

RE: Kaustin....

I've already talked about what I think about them as a couple on my blog several times before... 🤐 Honestly? They as a couple have always seemed a bit OFF to me (and I'm not just talking about the age gap thing ; which is cringe in itself) and idk why. Look, I've tried to like them as a couple, and her, but I just can't get over the nepobaby-ism, and the weirdness of that family. I actually used to think they were real (and maybe they are?🤷🏾‍♀️) but this year, certain things about their relationship have seemed a bit contrived and pap-heavy??

Not only that, but they barely even look like they're close friends w/each other half the time ROTFL. 😅🤣 Their vibe is so off to me lol. I'm sorry. But the gut doesn't lie. They look so bored and dead w/each other sometimes. I keep saying that Vanessa is the one who got away... 👀 Want proof? Just do a simple Google search photo comparison of his "couple" pics with V and his "couple" pics with K. That's all I'll say lol... 🤭

But hey, if they're happy, then I'm happy for them!? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Idc who he dates honestly, just as long as she's a kind person, is genuine, down to earth, and is dating him for the right reasons.

Here's some tea☕for you.... There's been some in the fandom who spilled that supposedly, Kaia went after HIM. 👀 That wouldn't surprise me lol.

RE: Vanessa...

Yea, I never fully believed the cheating rumors tbh, cuz things just didn't make sense. And no woman I know would be hanging out with the girl who her bf of 9 years cheated on her with. Add to the fact that their families (esp her sister?) still follow each other?🤔

Also add to the fact that Ash Tisdale is still SUPER close to Austin, and I know she is/was a close friend of V's as well, so I doubt she'd be hanging tight with him if he cheated on her friend like that. 🥴 So things just never made sense?

More tea ☕ for you....Take this with a HUGE FAT GRAIN of salt (because who knows if any of this stuff is true?), but word on the street is that supposedly, Vanessa was the one who broke up with Austin. 👀

IF that is true, then that would explain a LOT. Supposedly, it had to do with Elvis filming. 🤐 Supposedly, they had already broken up before the film even started filming. It's a long story.

Anyway, they seemed really happy together all those years, so it's kinda sad they weren't able to try to work things out again. But oh well! It's too late now! V is about to be a married woman (if she isn't already!). 😅

Honestly?? I don't blame her if she really wanted marriage and a family, and she didn't want to continue to spend more time waiting for him (and his career, etc) to catch up.

#sorry for the dissertation

[inlocusmads]

i'm pretty sure you've made a few posts about doing potential crossovers with your ocs, so i wanted to know if you think any of your ocs would be friends? or at least be able to sit in a room together?

Thanks so much for this q!! I've been pretty into talking about my ocs so really really appreciate you sending the question! <33

I have a couple of them here (and I don't think I can get to all of them, so this is just a tl;dr of some of them, esp ones that are 'technically mcs' from other books) including some additions that I should expand on so here's a quick rundown:

Inam (oc, laws-ish) -> Inam started out as my old Laws MC I played with, but quickly morphed into a completely different character. She's a IP lawyer who works for a prominent firm and is on strictly professional terms with Nora. They hit up each other after Nora did her thing with the Hand of Mahra and collaborate sometimes, on say the process of discovery in a case or just merely consulting each other on subject matters. They're not friends, I'd like to think but also not entirely enemies, if that makes sense. It's usually the tough stuff they really do reach out for help, otherwise they're just merely correspondences over a phone call or an email.

Ramona "Rowan" (mc, murder at homecoming) -> Rowan is also not technically "part of the gang" rather she comes to New York for an internship and stumbles onto the old story of those 'corrupted cops' Nora was looking into, many years ago (that got her kicked out from the NYPD). Rowan was targeted by the very same precinct and so Nora found out, she reached out to her and both of them settled down to talk about it. They're still in touch w each other, but Rowan ends up moving onto different prospects - the whole "kid detective" thing got too dangerous with Gabbie her parents didn't want to put her in such a career, so she took up investigative journalism instead in a non-profit company which is where she meets Aloka.

Aloka (mc, veil of secrets) -> Aloka, after the events in Birchport, ends up going back to New York to work for a non-profit investigative journalism company that were impressed with her work on the Sterling murders. She ends up creating a whole new life for herself there - having been a little worn-out by the stuff she wrote for the New York Gazette and reluctant to work with the FBI. Her domain of interest is reporting on 'missing people cases' specifically people of colour who are constantly overlooked by the media as well as 'instituitional corruption' which is why she was keen on taking up Rowan under her wing after reading her work. The two would have this kind of Gandalf/Frodo relationship where Aloka looks out for Rowan after learning she'd never had someone who was an adult figure who believed in her.

Morgan (oc, the unexpected heiress- next generation): Morgan is basically the 'next gen'/descendant of 'Lillian' Hayes (name in quotes as placeholder) and basically the Hayes family being this wealthy well-to-do electricity moguls passed down from generation to generation. Morgan is the next heir, their focus is on the Hayes-Horowitz company's R&D division where they aim to create more sustainable technology, which leads to a lot of say, patent troubles which is where Inam comes in. Morgan is pretty much Inam's regular client since they work in a field of mechanics, electronics and tech where it's prevalent to run into intellectual property disputes which suck. The two of them then have this sort of deep, close friendship and the shared love of getting into the thick of the mysteries as well as their background in STEM, as well as their general motivations in life, so to speak.

and some new ocs/mcs i haven't talked about and i'm probably going to fuck it up by introducing them into this shared world!

Ronan "Cato" (mc, the heist: monaco): Cato is the name he goes by as an alias, as well as irl and after the events of The Heist, he ends up doing some more - stealing from the rich and donating the profits to museums and libraries and schools. (Ik there are multiple endings and Cato does end up running a little international crime organization in the Good one) but I hc a couple years later, he kind of fades into retirement - despite having like villas in Spain etc, he kind of settles down in New York since his friends Eris and Rye end up kind of in their own bubbles - can't be an international thief all the time.

I'd like to think he goes for "one last heist" on his own and ends up getting caught by Nora and they kind of engage in their own quid pro quo - in exchange for Cato telling her the real story, his reasons for doing-so-and-so and for Nora to let him go, only for her to stumble onto something insanely massive. Or maybe he engages in a different "heist", meets up with Trystan and they just become really good friends because why not? Trystan knows people in literature, in underground drug rings, in the highest of posts in a dictatorship country, what's one more friend?

Penn (oc, platinum-ish): I'd like to think Penn became a full-time producer for MC while he was at Overknight records - maybe after Micah (Ozone) leaves to focus on his own career (?). Penn ends up producing a lot of smash hits for 'Cadence' and I'd like to think he meets Inam after Cadence gets her own sort of "Lana Del Ray sued by Radiohead" suit after her. Inam's admittedly a very good IP lawyer, so they win the lawsuit (I hc Inam received help from Nora, who in-turn received a lesson in music theory by Samaya). I feel like Penn would also end up in Trystan's social circle somehow and they'd know something about each other - he is a critically-acclaimed producer after all.

Tomyris 'Iris' (oc, the phantom agent prequel): GAIA must have had a starting point, so I'd like to think Iris was one of those masterminds who built it up from the beginning. It wouldn't have been called GAIA (since I assume the real TPA story takes place years into the future where advanced world-ending tech ends up taking over the world), rather maybe starting out as a private detective business that kind of allies itself with the Ginovesi Agency. Iris is just one person, they kind of started out as a cop themselves but saw the internal corruption and decided to leave the position. I'd also like to think Iris tackles a whole different domain than Nora does. Their forte would be more on the side of "financial disputes and embezzlement" and would likely join forces with Nora upon knowing they could benefit from each other rather than worry they are each other's enemies.

Iris's character is still a WIP so I don't know how to approach their story a little. Maybe I'll figure it out someday, but as of now I'll stick with the characters mentioned in my original OC list and figure out the rest lmao

Thank you so much for sending me an ask!

#askboxed #moominofthevalley #character introductions

[littledamadelfuego]

ahhh!!!! thank you so much!!! i swear we could have a full-blown conversation about this. I've always wondered whether western synastry is more accurate than vedic synastry but honestly it's so haywire. also i do agree w the "subconscious block" part. he does seem like he needs a little bit of time to think about some things- like he's not fully mature yet or there yet. also i completely see your point w the nostalgic love part!!! he's VERY attached to his parents, very vocal about it, esp how close he is to his mom. i don't know how into that i am LMAO. & i completely get what u mean about the mutual aspect. usually, to figure out how a particular synastry placement may affect someone w my planets in their house, i try to visualise/remember how i was affected by that synastry placement as the house person myself in a diff friendship/relationship. ofc this is so complicated given that people respond to situations so differently & there are so many other niche aspects to consider- both within & beyond astrology. I've tried to understand houses in synastry by how i feel towards people w their personal planets in my house & I've realized I'm not usually open to 12th house synastry (as the house person)? it bothers me a bit & i tend to find those people quite annoying, usually i have a short fuse w them, they tend to get on my nerves easily (& i never express it, it's always hidden) but that might be bc i have absolutely no 12th house influence. perhaps i might be a bit welcoming to that 12th house energy if i had more 12th house influence in my natal but i don't. it's hard to tell whether he would perceive me the same way??? I've never viewed 12th house as the "soulmate" synastry (for me it's 8th house rather bc I'm quite 8th house dominant w my venus and saturn in 8th & moon sqr pluto among a lot of other pluto aspects). thank u for ur advice!! I'll definitely keep ur words in mind moving forward <3

You're welcome!!! Honestly, I think each type of astrology is valid, and it's best to use the one that feels the most true to you! But I think it's useful to learn different types of astrology to gain an added perspective!

& Yes!!! 4th House Venus can definitely indicate being close to his mother or even potentially wanting a partner like his mother... it's a definite possibility!!!

& Honestly, yes there are so so many ways to read synastry!! And it affects everyone differently!! That's why it's so important to first account for someone's own natal chart before making any general assumptions about how a certain synastry will work for them because everyone's own charts are so different, and we all have different karma's, chart configurations, familial patterns which can all affect how we react towards a certain synastry. And some are meant to experience certain synastries over others-- there is so much room for nuance.

And 12th house synastry is definitely controversial! If you don't already have a connection to it or your planets aren't making an angular connection to it, it can definitely be irritating! But I've noticed 8H'er's in particular either love it or hate it (I am an also an 8H'er with my Sun & Mercury-- caveat though, my chart ruler is in my 12H), but the thing is 8H'er's will either love how deep the 12H goes, or, conversely they will hate it, and in particular with your Venus in the 8H you probably prefer to keep certain aspects of what you love and your love life private, and you won't receive that privacy with people who are in your 12H. Most 8H'ers like to control who is able to see the deeper sides of themselves, and you don't get that choice with people in your 12H. More so, as an 8H'er you're probably quite skeptical of someone who seems to know more about you than you know yourself (as is the nature of the 12H), so it can feel very off-putting when someone brings you that energy!! & of course not everyone in your 12H has good intentions for you so it is again, always important to consider the whole chart.

Also, I don't think any house synastry alone is a *soulmate* synastry. I just think 4th, 8th, & 12th house synastry can be indicators of a potential soulmate connection because they are all spiritual houses, and these synastries imply that the connection is slightly more than what we can feel physically, and since the very nature of soulmates is spiritual I think any of these houses can be indicative of a potential soulmate, but there are again so many interpretations, but any of these houses I would want to see when considering a potential soulmate!!

#astrology #12th house #synastry #8th house #8th house venus

[fakeosirian]

it's my duty as your house of anubis mutual to ask you about patricia and eddie (for the ship bingo)

BLESS YOU BELOVED MUTUAL if i can rely on anything in this world. it's this <3

FIRST ACTUAL BINGO BABEY (and arguably there are more squares that depending on what i'm doing with them i could say are true that would make at least one more bingo but i reigned myself in a bit LOL)

peddie is so flexible in vibes?? i love that you can take their relationship in multiple different directions and it's still totally legit/within their range because there really is That Much to do with them (depending on the level of tragedy you want to milk out of them/what point in the show you're talking about/how much you want a happy ending for them) while it still feeling like their very specific brand/within their characterization

in my view (and this may be unpopular? idk) the only thing keeping them together by the end of the show is sheer force of will to not let go of their relationship because its just. A Thing They Need To Keep Doing. even if it hurts. literally everything around them (not just the plot tho that is too lol) is a huge neon sign saying BREAK UP PLEASE GOD. now dont get me wrong they absolutely are compatible, but there's so much about them that isn't re: small things that get in the way that become big things, sometimes incidental/situational and sometimes genuine incompatibilities, that they have to put a LOT of effort in to keep from flying apart by default. that's not a diss/not me saying i don't like them together -- tbh two people that are that devoted despite The Agonies is fascinating esp in the context of season 3b -- but more that they're SOOOO flexible narratively/thematically as a dramatic pairing and i love them for it + they are one of the few ships i genuinely enjoy breaking up/getting back together/breaking up/getting back together ad infinitum in my imagination LOL

definitely unpopular opinion is i don't see them working as a long term couple post-show? (or at the very least they break up For Realz/get different partners/maybe get back together later in life but as far as they know at that point they're done) like ok i enjoy the fics ive read + headcanons that keep them together A LOT but in my heart of hearts...my peddie breaks up dramatically, makes up after a lengthy period of Not Talking and causing hijinks and shenanigans for those around them, and then become the type of incredibly close friends you can only be if you have a very overdramatic romantic past LOL like new partners need to be "approved by [patricia/eddie]" "who is that? your sibling? "ew no of course not. it's my ex" "?????"

expanding on that: i don't really have a "preferred ship" to replace them with (i know i have specific non-peddie ships for them lined up in my fic but those are for the circumstances of That Fic specifically and not necessarily my ideal pairings for them) all i know is i like them when they're messy because they're sooooo good when they finally get catharsis (esp when it's not in the way they're expecting as two people who expect the worst from life and preemptively react accordingly, thus reinforcing the bad things they expect more often than not)

the irony of that is i kind of find it tedious sometimes in the actual show when they're being messy and enjoy their functional romance scenes the most but tbh it's mostly because they get stuck in cycles of being the same type of messy ('explainable misunderstanding #9387982734' i'm looking at you. Sorry) the toxicity is at its best when it's Fresh

inherent eroticism of attempted murder being ? is for 3b but the more i think about it the more i wish i had just full-on colored it in because it really is them even when there isn't possession involved actually LMAO

cursed thing i realized: this may be one of the very few totally legit enemies to lovers ships ive actively gotten into and written content for. i'm usually a friends to lovers pining and yearning enjoyer (if that wasn't obvious already) or, if there's antagonism there, prefers rivals to lovers but peddie....peddie hits

anyway closing thoughts they are highly entertaining and of all of the hoa ships i've spent a significant amount of time thinking about/writing for, probably the most versatile/fun to do things with and have the widest range/mileage? not a ship to be comforted with but a ship to challenge me creatively LOL especially since outside of hoa, if i have strong feelings on ships in a given fandom, i tend to get very. rigid and picky with what ships i like/what i don't (ie. i like despite the horrors of Having Conflict in the Narrative for my ships to have happy endings and tend to avoid ones that have fundamental incompatibilities that would most likely result in a breakup) and peddie is what i have to thank for Opening My Mind to that tbh

#thankfullynotaredshirt #answered #tysm!!! coincidentally ive been thinking about them a lot/considering making a post since i've been getting to the point in foyf where #they actually will be breaking up soon (probs not for another few chapters at least but its on the horizon) so this was a good way to do it #that doesnt feel like im trying to discourse or something LOL #hoa

[intersex-questions]

oh yeah, I'm sure that I have received bigotry due to my hyperandrogenism, I just have no idea how to separate it from the transphobia. A lot of my experiences that come to mind could rly be seen either way. And I'm nervous abt trying to be in intersex spaces bc I feel like starting hrt kinda makes the point moot. Like, the only proof I have of being intersex is high t levels, but I'm going ahead and making them high on purpose. idk I kinda want to try to check out the community but im also nervous that i'd be seen as a perisex trans person whose invading a space that isn't intended for me. (esp since my doctor essentially said that if i was a cis woman he wouldve looked into my hormone levels, but since im trans they arent significant)

Also, side question: what would i need to look out for with t levels that are too high? bc my doctor is not familiar w transmasc ppl (he usually does transfem) but he's my best option atm. I had my first t shot literally a couple hrs ago and my next blood test is in two months. he also didnt say anything abt starting with a lower dose. feel like i might be winging it a bit here.

Something that some people consider a key experience to being intersex are having faced bigotry due to it. I know earlier you said you felt like you hadn't really had an intersex experience, so I thought that might make you feel more validated. But you dont have to have experienced that to make you intersex!

I don't think that HRT makes you being intersex moot at all. Being intersex has shaped your life before being on HRT and it isn't something you can lose even if your body becomes more similar to certain things associated with being perisex. But I understand how you feel! I felt like that when I went on HRT too. I thought I was stripping myself of being intersex. But I wasn't!

Personally I think your levels are significant even if you are trans because it will affect how your body responds to HRT.

A good and responsible doctor should be closely monitoring your T levels once you start HRT and start you off at a dose based on your levels. You should probably be microdosing if you have hyperandrogenism. I currently take 0.13mL and have T levels that of the average cis man. The average dose is 0.3mL. Monitoring your T levels closely is important to figure out if you should lower your T dosage for your health or if it's safe to increase the dose (if you want to dose higher).

You should be getting labs done every month or two as well that check things besides just T level. These include but are not limited to:

A lipids panel/test (tests stuff like cholesterol—there is much debate whether or not higher cholesterol causes or is related to heart issues and disease but it's currently widely accepted that it does)

A hemocrit/red blood cell count and platelet test

A CBC/white blood cell test

A comprehensive metabolic panel

It's also important that you are aware that testosterone HRT can cause issues with bone density. Make sure your doctor is aware of that and take steps to ensure your bone density is healthy. This may involve screening.

I'm not an expert on the tests you get either especially since your results generally shouldn't be interpreted by anyone besides your doctor(s). Another test I once got was a test to determine how much of the thing that binds to testosterone in my blood I have and what my free testosterone (T not being used by the body) count was to figure out why my T levels were so high. The results were completely normal since I have hyperandrogenism.

I don't know how it is with most trans people but I have a team of several people who work with me and I go through an endocrinologist. Some endocrinology clinics have trans healthcare not advertised super openly.

I'd also like to say you aren't and won't be invading intersex spaces. If anyone tells you that, including other intersex people, they are exclusionists. Intersex spaces have exclusionists who try to gatekeep who is and isn't intersex. These people don't matter. Fuck 'em! You also don't ever owe anyone your diagnosis or any proof of being intersex. You don't need to tell them how you're intersex. You don't owe anyone anything at all and if someone tries to make you feel like you do, again, fuck 'em. You don't have to separate being trans and intersex either. They can be related for you, both in body and mind.

Might I suggest you look into altersex? Altersex is a term that means any individuals who want or currently have a body that doesn't match cisgender standards for their AGAB or perisex standards for their AGAB. This includes transmascs who have clitoromegaly from being on T HRT. It includes intersex people. It includes people who don't have but want gender nullification surgery. It includes people who want nonhuman genitalia. And more! It is an umbrella term that is welcome to intersex and perisex people alike. I've seen many people use the term, believing they're perisex, only to find out they're intersex and they used altersex as a way to help them realize and be comfortable with the idea that they were born the way they are. Altersex has other microlabels as well and there are alternative labels to it.

I used to want to be intersex thinking it was for gender reasons but it turned out it was because it genuinely explained how I was born and live.

#asks #talking #questions #hyperandrogenism #testosterone hrt #hrt while intersex

[enden-k]

Hey hi this is... high-key ridiculous of me, but! How? Do? Friends work in genshin? I haven't even co-oped yet, like at all, cus I don't understand the like. The etiquette? Obviously there's a bunch of tiktoks where some Childe main joins worlds to leave partial lyrics and see what happens and thats funny and all but what? Is the done thing here? I'd like to be able to do co-op, my absurd social anxiety aside, cus it seems like a lot of fun but I can't figure out the... rules for lack of a distinctly better term djdjdn not to be cripplingly socially inept but you've got a bunch of friends on genshin and you've shared your uid so people can add you so clearly you know how this works and so like. Oh my god. *pinches the bridge of my nose* this is genuinely the stupidest ask I've ever sent istg.

TLDR: how do friends and co-oping work in genshin cus I am entirely too skittish to find out via trial and error and you seem to know what you're doing djdhsksl

this not a stupid thing to ask, dont worry!! i can understand your question!

ok so basically, in coop/with friends you can:

join low level players and help them with progress/bosses/farming/etc. sometimes you find people in the coop list that literally have "need help with bosses" or anything similar in their signatures so theyre actually hoping for someone to join and help them out! i have a few low level friends and they often ask me for help which is v fun, i really enjoy helping people out

ask friends or join strangers if you need any mats you ran out! my friends ask me whenever they need smth if they can pick that in my world and if i dont need those mats myself, theyre free to pick. obv the other way around too; if i need smth (for example when i needed dandelion seeds back then) i just ask friends or even here. if you join strangers and are in need of mats, its better to ask them first if you can pick those!

farm together with friends! i tend to farm with irl friends or my close friends on here for artifacts/bosses; for me its more fun to do that together, especially if all of you need the same thing (shared pain over a shitty artifact is half the pain, as a saying goes ajsbsb) you can also coop in domains w random people, the game will match you up with whoever needs to run the same domain! ive never tried it (like i said, i usually farm alone or with friends) but yea, thats also an option if youre bored farming alone or need help and wanna play with others

do whatever you want w your friends, like mini concerts or photoshootings AHHA YEP! my best friend and i sometimes do little photoshootings with our ships (since u cant really take pics of two of your characters jasbc); i have really cute pics of our zhongli and childe on the bridge under the tree in the harbor <3 (he often neglects his childe, esp now that he finally got his fav boys together so i guess i need a new childe AKJBCKAJ </3)

jon others and just-- chill and chat? i had a xiao come in my world (they were the first random stranger i ever accepted bc i was also super anxious about ppl joining) and they didnt need anything, they just wanted to chill. turned out they just joined random peoples worlds and asked them about their current fav song (mine was teardrops by bmth, btw HAH i managed to share a song with yall) and turned out we share the same music taste so we ended up running around, fighting a little and chatting about fav songs and art and got super excited over stuff and boom, were friends now HAHAH (it was a really nice first coop w strangers experience for me!) but yea, never did that myself, i guess most people who dont mind/shy away from talking to others enjoy just popping in and have a chat, they just have to find the right people who are up for that i think ahbhjhja

i threw in a few things i do or experienced as some kind of example but yea! there are not really any rules; just talk to people! i think many people tend to kick others if they join their world and then just pick mats or do whatever without even a greeting or asking or anything, which is understandable

also: if it helps, depending on your server we can play together too and you can see how its like? on EU im used to help others and on america i absolutely dont mind getting help with exploration or anything since im so behind with everything and it can get a bit boring lmfao

#coop/w friends is super fun but ofc it can also get a bit weird at times. if you encounter weird ppl just leave the world or kick them out #your comfort is important esp if youre already socially anxious so dont force yourself to anything! #hope this somehow answered your question i hope i didnt misunderstand it or anyhting akjbs #myountalk #reply

[amysubmits]

Do you have any advice on opening up to someone new esp a potential romantic interest for someone who experiences a lot of anxiety over their shy personality and deciphering the other person’s intentions w them/feelings of safety? Or maybe even sharing how you navigated that time with CD in the beginning. If you’re comfortable w that of course! Your post “Opening Up” really resonated w me bcs I’ve dealt with much the same my whole life as well.

Sure :). I'm no sure if it works this way for others or not, but I have found that with CD and with my close friends, I basically just clicked with them early on and opening up to them was a lot easier than it is for me with most other people.

I find that with the right people, I just naturally find them easier to open up to. If I don't have that natural 'click' with someone, I don't usually push myself to open up to them, I tend to just assume we aren't meant to be close. And more than just not clicking...whenever anyone has made me feel like they're prying to get to get me to share things with them before I feel comfortable? That makes me guard up even more and probably just try to avoid those people. I am definitely not going to hit it off with someone who tries to push me to open up before I'm comfortable.

With CD, the process of feeling safe and natural just opening up to him did happen a lot quicker than with others. It kind of scared me a little how quickly I put my walls down with him. I remember one day after we hung out I was mortified thinking about how I had made up a song and sang it out loud in front of him. I had always done/said/thought goofy things in my head, but even around family or my best friends I wouldn't sing like that, haha. That is just so not me, usually. I'd never do that in front of anyone else, and I had done so in front of him without thinking twice about it. I was able to just let the goofy stuff in my head out in front of him naturally. It was embarrassing to me later, thinking back to it. But I just felt so comfortable with him that I would have had to consciously expend effort to not put my walls down around him.

Again, I don't know if others work the same way or not. But for me, even though I don't open up easily to most people, with CD and my close friends, it just happened on is own almost.

#asks

[marshmallowprotection]

hello lovely !! i’d like to request a matchup if you’re still doing them?

i’m a 5’6 infp queer female and am a little on the chubby side. while i am working on and getting better w my insecurities, my body weight still sometimes makes me a lil insecure and i’ll just wanna hide away from everyone. i love tattoos and i have multiple with plans to get more! my style tends to change between darker ‘emo/punk’-ish styles to cottagecore and girlier styles. i also dye my hair a lot and it’s usually unnatural colors.

i like to think i’m a kind person! there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to help someone out and i esp would bend over backwards to help my friends & anyone i love. i hold my friends v v closely to my heart and am very protective over them, and if i’m on the phone w them, i always tell them i love them before hanging up. i always try to make sure people are comfortable around me! i laugh at myself a lot and try not to take myself too seriously.

i can be a very argumentative person- esp when it’s over things i strongly feel about. i love debates and politics and i tend to raise my voice whenever i get excited over anything without realizing it. i love to read and even tho my to be read pile is ever growing, i still buy books all the time. i also love history and am currently in college to get a history degree !

immm not too sure what else to put ! thank u and have a nice day !!

I match you with...

Jumin!

You are ultimately a very opinionated person and because of that you speak your mind. You don't let people push you around when you have a strong perspective that means everything to you. If you believe in something you don't let anybody change your mind, because you believe so strongly with all of your heart. You don't mind getting into debates and discussions with people but when certain subjects come up, it's too hard to not let your heart get into it. There are just certain things that require a lot of empathy. Sometimes people use that against you but the people that love you the most aren't going to twist your words or torment you. It just so happens that you're the kind of person who loves discussion and deep thought. You love to be by a partner that believes strongly in what it is that you have to share. For Jumin, that's his ideal type of partner. He wants somebody passionate and ready to speak their mind. He doesn't want somebody to always agree with him. He wants a sincere simple challenge to his perception of the world. He wants to hear it. He doesn't want everybody to agree with him.

Jumin loves when there's a fire in your eyes because it means that you're going to tell him the honest feeling inside of your chest. It's powerful, it's strong, and he's never loved you more than when he can see this side of you come out. He adores you for your passion. He'd never let anyone think otherwise. You can be a spitfire but you bring out the best in him that he's ever had. He also enjoys that you can talk for hours without fail. There's just something sp attractive about your voice and your smile. This is love for him. You could be reading a shopping list and he'd listen to you with the fondness of a poet murmuring a soliloquy. You are knowledgeable and can keep up with him all the time. This is safety and security for him. You are heaven and earth.

#mod kait #mysme #ask #anon #matchup #Jumin Han

[skypied]

AO3 Tag Game Tagged by @anchoviesinthenightsky wh- who me?

Ty for the opportunity to not shut my mouth ahhah

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 6

2. What is your total AO3 word count?  57,343 wtf

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?  well I did write two oneshot Zelda fics at 13 and one oneshot Harry Potter fic at 15 but we don't think about those. (and i just remembered I have a trashed Ace Attorney wip buried deep in my drive somewhere) So I honestly consider Luca the only I've written for for real.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

actually it's the same order for hits/bookmarks/comments except one of them

Cliff's Edge (450 (you nasty people <3))

make me crescendo (176)

you've been hiding all your life (139)

sickeningly sweet like honey (108)

always be this close (82)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yeah I try to reply to all. I think there's like two with just an emoji I haven't replied to. But it usually takes me a little time, esp right after publishing something, to reply, I save them up a little. But like now, when it's been a while since publishing and I think a week or more since a new comment, I get excited and rush over immediately haha.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? well all that are ended have happy endings. The angstiest rn is probably the Alberto angst one, hold my breath for me, but if it actually goes somewhere story-wise and not just short standalone chapters, I'm hoping to veer it somewhere happy. Boy deserves to heal. I kind of doubt I'd ever write something w an angsty ending. For me what's the point of escapism if it's not happy and carefree (I say, following Eli's planned tragedy with hawk eyes HAHA). I'll get out more angst when I finish the untitled Big Sad Gay Fic but that'll have a happy ending too.

7. Do you write crossovers? Never tried or considered.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? No

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Well. You already know. I write anything I want to, tbh. I think my "genre" is "spicy vanilly" like I'll add elements of kink but keep it pretty soft and gentle still. Sorry to go on a tangent here but truly believe that's to do w my identity being somewhere on the ace spectrum, if kink goes too far I just don't understand it. I feel like I write all my pwps from a very emotional perspective rather than a physical perspective, and for me it's hard to grasp kinks where I don't understand the emotions of it. I guess! I do enjoy occasionally reading stuff that's kinkier and more physical, just yeah. I don't understand it enough to write it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't know! Probably not?

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, though I'm working on some stuff with @albertolovesluca! not co-authoring but we're bouncing ideas for each others' fics and it's lovely and he's helped me a LOT! I've not really interacted enough w people before to have anyone to talk ideas with so it's been a very fun and rewarding experience<3

12. What’s your all time favorite ship? Well I'm a hyperfixator at heart so that changes whenever I change fandoms but the actual OTP that remains after years are probably Klavier/Apollo from Ace Attorney, I periodically fall back into them even now, something like 12 years (fuck! I feel old) after getting into them. All the rest have mostly faded away, though the biggest ones have been Davekat (Homestuck) and Wolfstar (Harry Potter) but I feel like nothing can compare to Luberto since I haven't actively participated in fandom or writing before them.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Zelda

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? Hmm I think my favorite published one is you've been hiding all your life bc that one's so intensely personal to me. Like reading it back I'm a little more "eh, it's alright I guess", but it was such a profound and transformative experience to write. I feel like it untangled some knots inside me. As a whole I think make me crescendo is my best pwp at least. I think it's hard to compare the pwps with always be this close but that one was really, REALLY fun to write. 3

Though I feel pretty certain the Big Sad Gay Fic will be my fav when it's done, simply bc I have never done anything properly multichapter, it's very personal to me, and I believe in its concepts and am in love with some of the more pivotal scenes I've written... I think! We actually made some progress on completely rearranging a lot last weekend but aren't done so it's all a little up in the air rn!

Ok I'll tag everyone I can remember are authors, but really anyone who wants to, grab it! Have fun!

@morganskii @love-your-enthusiasm @imbeccablee @sgtalligator (yours is on Wattpad but I suppose the questions will work either way!) @albertolovesluca @someonehidethetequila @big-meows @beartofry @themeganator5000 @annie-mantic @jofngve @curioserprime I'm not sure how many of the tags work, think I exceeded max tagged but hope you get the memo! but no pressure ofc! (aka most of the people on my to-read-list but I haven't gotten around to... sorry! 😬❤️ I hope to get a little more energy and time when my cold finally fucks off!)

#skypieposts #not to toot my own horn even more but i'm literally at 999 kudos total and i've been hopefully refreshing my stats all day #skypiechats

[wolf-stark]

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

-

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

#Asks

[iscosbitch-archive]

Do you tell people you meet that you like football, if it comes up early on? Okay, when I say people I mean men. I don't know anyone in real life who watches football and I neeeed to talk about it, but I also don't mention it, because when I did in the past, they would test me like NAME EVERY PLAYER ON THAT TEAM IN 1987 or some stuff like that. And I mean, I'm a casual fan, I watch maybe 1-3 games a week, but meh, idk, what's your take on it, if you don't mind my asking?

Well first of all, I think men that need to ask someone(females) about the entire history of a team to “prove” that they like them are 1. dumbasses and 2. misogynistic and toxic tbqh. I mean I’ve never encountered anyone like that personally, but that’s bc I don’t talk to anyone unless I like……Need to. But the dudes that I have talked to abt football they’re like “oh cool what team” and then that’s abt it?? Like the day of the match against Ajax, I was watching the match in class cuz duh and this dude in the class who is close w my friends was like “oh man rm is having a rough season eh?” and I was like “don’t talk about it” and we left it there. And I have this friend, we’ve known each other for like 8 years, he’s a c*le, but he’s like the only person I talk to abt football bc he’s a chill dude. And there were these dudes that I worked w last summer and we’d talk abt the wc and that day/night’s matches during our break and they were all really cool. So honestly like if it comes up in a discussion, I usually Will mention it, esp since I’ve never had a bad encounter with m*n like you have(v sorry abt that btw m*n are so shit), and bc the people that I Have talked to have been v chill about it

#ask #anonymous

[adhdvane]

Anon back again, don't worry about delay in answer! I'm not expecting you to reply in a matter of seconds and I'm patient anyway! (●'◡'●) (and yeah, tumblr's notification system kinda suck so really, not your fault haha)

I understand your struggle with fics all too well lol I'm sure a time will come when it just clicks and you can write the good stuff ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ And no need to feel bad if you haven't posted a lot on ao3! You don't have to have 1000 fics or 200k word-long fics for your works to be enjoyable!! Even little ficlets and drabbles are good to have around ♥

It's good of you to have taken time for yourself if you needed it ♥ And yeah, completely understandable to hesitate and come back to fandom in general with the current state of things (a couple years ago I made an IE/Go sideblog and I'm still terrified that someone is going to come up and yell at me for shipping the characters lmao And that's without counting the Problematic™ fics I wrote when I was 16 lmao)

Regarding your tags, I'm just sitting there like starry-eyed because YES TenKyou. I'm DELIGHTED to know that's your preference because that's mine too for the ship asklhjkh

As for Todd and Prof Mirror, that's a tough and personal question, so good luck! (I'm thinking Todd topping's nice but does it make the prof kink better or not is the question!! ALSO in the french version, I know there's a line from Todd going like "Mirror was already being called Professor before he was a professor" so maybe he's not the only one with a prof kink, just from a different angle, hah)

(you say sorry for rambling, but joke's on you, I ramble too! Sorry for clustering your blog though woops Have a good day! (´･ω･`) )

rip, okay, once again i apologize about this one being even later, mostly bc i saw it early, but i haven't been able to sit down and respond to it. this week was the last week of the month so i actually had a lot to do at work and was able to go in every day (as opposed to 1 - 2 days bc business is still so slow). but at the end of the month i do invoicing for inventory charges for that month for each customer. though i was able to actually get a lot of it done sooner than usual (bc i actually started the process on tuesday instead of thursday), there were still three big ones i couldn't even do until thursday bc they had several orders in production that didn't get shipped until thursday. I was going to finally get to this ask on friday when i got home (we only work half days on friday and close at noon)… but the new gbf event had started… and uhg… a sho centric event. g od.

rest of the word vomit under the cut

before i just—IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THIS GBF RAMBLING FEEL FREE TO SKIP BELOW TO THE END THE GBF OF RAMBLE—this event askjdsjkdfslkdjsdjg talk about giving the antag his redemption art event. the emotional growth in sho. so many new assets to save… there are fricking 6 different versions of his character labeled _painful (_painful, _painful2, etc.), and like so many zoom in's that basically every one of his images has an _up version (the battle ones ((the ones of him on his gearcycle)) also have a bunch of _up2 versions that are zoomed in between the default and _up close up) anyways these in particular kill me.

sho "i'm-not-going-to-cry-or-show-expresions-of-gratitude" awkwardly smiling and crying in this event (while also repeatedly getting the shit kicked out of him/getting hurt. having a moment of breaking down from exhaustion and pain, in the rain, before deciding he has to swallow his pride. every single english word that comes out of his mouth, cv: taniyama kishou is a gift (on a side note i can't believe he fucking played alpha in chronostone. like thats fucking hilarious a va and voicalist capable of such range and drama voicing alpha and his serious monotone ass). Sho (@tsubasa): You showed me the light before—[…] Tsubasa: Wait, what? Whaddya mean I showed you the light? ((you mean when he punched you in the fucking face at the end of the previous event of this series?))). I mean I already shipped bc of the their last event, how can you not ship the guy screaming he's going to kill the protag w/the protag esp after getting punched in the face by the protag at the end makes him calm down and be like fine i guess you win i'm not going to try to kill you know and our gangs don't have to fight. also they're both like 16 (or at least tsubasa is canon 16 (a yeas totally looks like a 16 year old) and sho is at least still in school and at least confirmed to be a minor (not age of majority, which idk what that is exactly in universe, could be 18, could be 20, bc it is fantasy, but it's also japanese, thoguh japan's age of majority is actually lowering from 20 to 18 next april (2022), drinking/smoking/gambling age will still be 20, and the comment in this event was about we're still minors save the smoking for when you're an adult). sho could arguably be 18 or 19 and still believably in school and be considered a minor legally (if in universe gbf follows japanese laws) considering the time he spent in juvie he could easily have been held back. gbf will probably just make him tsubasa's age if a canon age is release. but thinking about sho being 19 and tsubasa being 16 would make some ppl upset and that brings me joy. (also just how funny it could be thinking about (bc everyone is perpetually the same age) how later when sho a year older and legally being able to drink, and tsubasa not, and despite the fact sho being like i will break the laws about physically assaulting a guy but underage drinking, smoking, and drugs is a no-no is fucking hilarious. (the app is rated t so i guess there's only so much you can do…) (oh and one last note, a character in the event asking if sho enjoys the pain and is a masochist, to have other character be like dude you can't just ask someone that. sho saying no he doesn't enjoy the pain. only for later when they are escaping, a character noting "You look rather happy about all this. Now I'm sure youre a masochist." gbf first crushing my sho masochist headcanon and then building it back up in this event, thank u gbf). anways, rip that was a lot and not even everything, as you can see i have been… distracted by this event. apologies

—END OF GBF RAMBLE—

oh god worry about ppl like that in ina like, there really people out there who don't want you shipping ficitional children?????? and the main ina cast is roughly between 12-15. and got i started watching ina in 2013 when i was 19. which apparently for some people is like bad uwu because it's a show for young teenagers (like lol too bad i'm 27 and even though i haven't kept up with aries i still love ina and all the little babies and wont stop shipping). i didn't even know there was people out there who get UPSET AT AGING UP??? like wtf???? sorry i want them to be old enough to marry, adopt children, have a job, and also f.uck. the dpk au is my lifeblood (and has a lot of Problematic™ content that's never even been posted online anywhere bc it used to be an rp. my favorite is that out of all the relationships in the au, tenma and kyousuke's is probably the most unhealthy bc of kyousuke's mental health. some very bad things happened to fei (per request of my rp partner) (part of vanfeny and garsha's revenge on saru as they were sent to megun while saru walks around ''free'' (what exactly is free is a whole other lore mess in itself that i wrote up about post chrono stone future). and that just lead to more bad things fei then did to himself. problematic™ content 9492347 in the dpk au, shipping ozrock and lalaya. (even worse, bc of lore planning i did for the au and decided how their species worked, lalaya is about 6.5 cycles (faram obius years) or roughly 130 earth years and biologically similar to 13 year earth years, and ozrock is about 48 Ixal years roughly 48 earth years and biologically similar to 24 earth years. so like even a worse ship. i mean just ignore cultural norms would be different on an alien planet and also she's royalty and has an obligation to be wed even younger and is probably socially more mature than a human 13 year old. rip sorry i just like alien stuff. a lot of this was also because wouldn't it be great for lalaya to have a really long lifespan so the human friends she makes get older faster and also die way before her :) ina's gunna hurt me with the bug aliens then i'm going to… continue to hurt myself with more alien life span stuff.)

Anyways, With TenKyou, idk I think it's easy to paint tenma as the innocent ~pure baby~ and kyousuke as ~bad boy~ bc of the first inago… and seed kyousuke was a little bastard man (affectionate). which would idk explain the default to kyouten. but like kyousuke chills the hell out in chrono stone and galaxy. and just bc tenma is a dumbass with a heart of gold obsessed with soccer doesn't necessarily mean he's has to be ~innocent baby 受け~ trope. (not that these are the only tropes that decide) (maybe it's bc i sort of like messing with what it must be like to be the main protagonists best friend and watch him continue to overcome everything and be in the spot light and how everyone praises him. kyousuke with self-esteem issues, looking back at all the problems he's caused, tenma has flaws but they're either negligible or something to love about him and mine have only hurt others. disregarding his own goddamn plot armor in the past. complex, emotional, suffering kyousuke is how i like my kyousuke. need we even get into how god eden was canonically revealed to be physically/mentally abusing seeds and that whole can of worms) (also just "nervous baby i don't know how to approach tenma" kyousuke, "cheeky little shit doesn't have any regards to personal space and boundries" tenma) at least if anyone starts giving me shit about an ina ship or problematic fictional ina content, i can always respond with something i drew back in 2015.

back to the matter of new snap though… that line is so familiar (im pretty sure it's in the eng txt, i have it set to jpn audio tho). i recently started keeping a log of the messages that pop up on the camp, lab, and map screens (but haven't saved too many bc i get distracted or at least i know i'm missing quite a few i have vague memories of). (also idk why my first thought to that line was mirror responding with "That was because you were the one calling me that.") there actually were a couple messages i saved initially that would be useful for fic writing:

Todd: "The professor used to be kinda reckless back in the day. I suppose after 10 year he must've calmed down a bit."

and

Mirror: "Todd's calmed down since I last saw him. Or maybe he's just acting mature because you kids are around…"

possible implications from these that I'm deciding to consider for headcanons:

both reckless and wild in their early 20's but that's not unusual, so they were acting like reckless young adults when they were 20. makes sense.

because mirror mentions the last time i saw him (which is definitely implied not 10 years ago since todd had a research team pin so obviously he's been around a bit since the lab was established) meaning todd is potentially still a chaotic bastard but is just trying to act like an adult in front of the kids. beautiful.

and on that note another wonderful Tood message:

Todd: "I never invited Phil to be my pupil—he just declared himself my "number one student" and started tagging along! But honestly…I was kind of flattered."

the possibility that when todd showed up in game, after that cutscene he went to talk to mirror like "this 10 year old just started following me and wont go away, pls help. what do i do?????"

this unsupervised 10 year old just followed a ~30 year old man into the wilderness and somehow just declares todd is mentor (and took the research team pin from todd to ''borrow''). this is a hostage situation. todd is the hostage.

the idea that perhaps todd just got back from a long expedition and was glad to be back and spend time with mirror, except this kid started following him around and wont leave him alone or go away, and then when he got to the lab there were two more kids there. how the fuck am i supposed to get it on with mirror when we have little alone time and when we finally do we're constantly at risk of being interrupted and/or walked-in on. (that last part was mainly the premise of the fic i wanted to write. "these kids are a handful how are we supposed to have intimate time. especially bc they're all so young and have child energy levels and when they go to bed i am already fucking exhausted." i'm thinking it might work better as like a drabble collection, that way i don't have to adhere to a plot line and can pick and choose scenarios to write because i keep winding up with more scenario ideas that i can nearly piece together into a coherent timeline anymore.)

(also a bit that rita becomes suspicious that they are 100% fu.cking even though all that happened was mirror wasn't asleep up in his bed above the lab and fell asleep in one of the bungalows w/todd and then tried to cover it up like haha what no, i was checking on todd he's not feeling well uh… what? where are my pants? oh. oh i can't believe i just totally got out of bed and left the lab without my pants haha.) (todd and mirror just trying to keep their relationship a secrete out of fear of rumors spreading and it affecting the lab's funding, even though rumors definitely started ages ago but neither of them realize). (also todd doesn't trust phil to keep his mouth shut and doesn't like the optics of the random 10 year old who started following him (UNSUPERVISED) just blabbing to his parents about how his cool mentor is dating the professor at the lab like yikes that could end badly worst case scenario.)

(i like the idea of mirror playing along with todd's ki.nk, albeit a little awkward sometimes (not very good at being intentionally 'sexy' about it, but that's not what todd wants anyways bc it's already inherenty sexy for him). Phill has a message "I barely get half the stuff the professor talks about. Do you?" and i can only image if he said that to todd

todd: （人*´∀｀）i know it's hot

phil: what)

anyways i hope you don't mind me rambling even more on your asks like this. last time i totally just cut chunks out to be smaller but this time… i'm going to leave things in rip.

#ask #anon #thank you or bearing with me #i haven't been on tumblr the whole week oops #sammy be quiet #i have been thinking about them a lot though #alSO RIP I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TENKYOU A LOTT TO BECAUSE OF YOU #listening to ina music on the way to work every day this week #but also now i've just entered tsubasa/sho hell because of the new gbf event #their previous event was in 2018 so it's been some time #i didn't except sho to ever get content again #and now i know he's gunna get a gacha release when the banner changes to gala #and i want him so bad #if i don't get him.......... i would be willing to later sup ticket his ass though it'll be a while til he'd be ticketable rip #cw kink mention /////// #the dpk au means a lot to me even now #also speaking of ina shipping my first ina ship tsunatachi and god there was a really good doujin artist on pixiv oh boy #some people on here would lose their shit over like so much of pixiv's content #idk man #i apologize if some stuff doesn't make sense bc brain just vomits out words and thinks everything is in the correct order