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redheadspark · 1 year

Text

Blossom

Summary - Doubt always stopped you from love, not anymore.

Warnings - This has some SMUT in the end, so 18+ only, You have been warned!

Author's Note- I wanted to write a one-shot with a reunion with Druig after the Emergence and make it more sensual than anything. I hope you like it :)

Throughout your time on earth, seeing centuries come and go and the planet evolves in such a natural state, you never thought you would be in such a predicament as this.

Covered in a hint of sweat, your heart still racing under your skin and against your chest, and your eyes looking at the outstretched fingers of marble. The rolling waves from the ocean roar in your ears with the sea air in your hair and along your eyelashes. One week ago you were living in solitude out on the Oregon Coast in the Pacific Northwest, the cool ocean was always calling to you along with the ever-consistent greenery and lush foliage of the forest. You liked living alone, watching the humans from afar, and seeing where they are heading when it came to their evolution. They have come so far in your mind already and they have still battle through and endure.

You weren’t always alone though, yet for the past 400 years you chose to be. The group of beings that you were with since the dawn of human time on Earth were the first group of beings that you grew to love, you family if you will. You were all sent to Earth to stop Deviants from hurting or killing humans, and not to interfere with the human evolution which was never ending and consistently changing. It seemed so simple at first, yet watching all that the humans could do unfold in front of you was both thrilling at scary.

The others with you, other Eternals, they grew on your skin like a new mold that was for you to wear, a new shield across your fragile body to make you stronger. They were just as curious to the humans around them, willing to help but not too much. They were all unique in their own ways when it came to how to interact and help with the humans, yet you all hid in the shadows as times passed. The curiosity of humans morphed into fear, and fear morphed into anger. When you were once worshipped as Gods, you were then feared as if you were cursed spirits bringing nothing but trouble and pain for the humans.

Just a betrayal, from the very species you swore to protect.

Yet you all still loved them, their ever-fragile lives that were so short compared to yours, and their brains and knowledge limited compared to your own. You noticed as time went on some loved the humans more than others, thinking of them as good creatures that had more good in their hearts than bad. Even with all the sin and pain they caused one another, there was still good in the heart of humans. Three Eternals stood out in your mind with that kind of gentleness and empathy towards the humans. Ajak, your leader and the one sole being that could communicate with the Celestial who created you all: Arishem. Sersi, a kind-hearted Eternal whose gentleness and soft words could melt the iciest of hearts.

And lastly, the mind controller of the group of you: Druig.

There you stood in the ocean waves, not caring that your armor was now soaked in both the salt water and some of the grim and a hint of blood. You were letting the sound of the waves going up and down along the sand near your boots both calm you and remind you that you were alive. Barely alive as it was, you felt it in your muscles and wrapped around your bones. Almost like an ache from the top of your head to your toes, your head throbbing and fingers shaking.

There was never a moment when you felt this kind of intense sensation of grief and relief rolled into one. All within minutes, minutes that felt like hours, and minutes that could have been the difference between life and death. All from the simple courage of keeping the humans alive and keeping their species afloat.

Your mind was still occupied with the last several minutes: the near Emergence that almost destroyed the planet, The Domo being damaged thanks to Ikaris, and Ikaris turning on all of you.

It was hard enough to hear that he was the one who killed Ajak because of her change of heart with the humans, but to know he was going to follow through with the Emergence just because of his belief in Arishem, was a blow.

But the worst part of all of it was Ikaris killing Druig right in front of your eyes.

Druig, the one true pacifist of your entire family that also stole your heart at the same time.

He was always an air of mystery to you, from the very moment you two met on the Domo when you woke up for the first time. He seemed to be isolated, alone, compared to the rest of the group who were all meeting one another. Of course, you were meeting everyone too, both excited and anticipating helping the humans on the planet below. But he came to you first, holding out a hand for your to shake and you took it with no hesitance.

You should have known then at first touch, his larger yet soothing skin against yours when you went palm to palm, that your destinies would be intertwined from that moment on.

So many nights spent talking together within the hidden halls of the Domo or along the weathered paths in the forest, observing the humans side by side, and even relying on one another as not just Eternals but as friends made you two grow closer as time went on. Druig was seen as an aloof Immortal, the Mysterious God in the earlier times that would be on the sidelines instead of in the fight. Hiding in the shadows to watch the humans both grow together and harm one another. The others knew him as powerful, but they thought of him as more of a cranky fool than ambitious or well-liked. He did have a sense of humor, you were a witness to that from time to time, but you knew the best thing about him was that he had a heart of gold.

“The guy doesn’t like anything fun, how can you stand it?”

“Druig has more heart and grit than Ikaris does, Kingo. Surely you can see that too!”

You never thought you would be his advocate when it came to the others and their judgemental comments. The only other person who was ever on his side was Makkari, the speedster with sticky fingers and massive optimism. She was your close friend too, the three of you always being together and growing as friends with one another. Yet Makkari could even see at the time how you and Druig were so natural together, from the laughter that was shared and exchanged to the deeper talks and longing for the humans to be at peace. She saw how you two leaned on each other, lifted each other up, and how things seemed so….natural when you two were side by side.

Druig has a unique soul, Makkari signed at you while you two sat together outside the Domo, sharing a catch of apples from the local orchid behind you, You seem to be the only one who knows and cares about him.

“You care too,” You signed and said to her, Makkari shrugging, “He and I are friends, you make it sound like he likes me or something,”

What’s not to like? She questioned you as you took a rather large bite from your apple, You’re kind, empathetic to everyone, a bit stubborn at times.

You huffed and nudged her shoulder as she laughed, But you are good to him.

How? You signed to her, not understanding as she paused and thought to herself. She then grinned widely.

You listen. You listen to Druig when no one else wants to, and I know he wants someone to listen to him. She explained calmly, you pausing and drinking in what she said. In your mind it wasn’t so hard to listen o Druig, he always had something good and important to say to you. He had a lot on his mind and you never minded him sharing those thoughts with you. Whether they were simple and playful like badgering Pathos’s newest invention or joking about Ikaris and his pompous ways, or big and deep like how he wished for there to be peace with the humans. You hung onto every word since deep down you knew he wanted to be heard. Truly heard.

“Hello you two!”

You both looked over to see Druig approaching, carrying a mesh bag of with fruit inside. As he stood in front of you two, he reached in with a hint of anticipation on his face and in his eyes. You were thinking of your talk with Makkari, how she mentioned Druig in such a way that you Neve realized the flutter within your chest about him. It never occurred to you that you loved the way his brown hair shined brightly in the sun, or how the flushness in his cheeks would occur after getting a compliment or praise, or even the blue in his eyes shined like diamonds or the twinkling stars at midnight.

Maybe Makkari was right: maybe there was something there.

“For you,” Druig handed you an orange, ripe and massive in your palm. You grinned at him, feeling your fingers touch as he placed the fruit along your palm. You missed the hint of flush on his cheeks as you smiled for thanks, him moving along to give Makkari her own share.

The orange was delicious, and the gesture was grand.

As time grew on and the humans were getting more and more vicious with one another, you and Makkari could tell Druig was getting restless and more on edge. He couldn’t interfere with the humans and their natural evolution, none of your could. So for Druig to watch from the shadows all the murder, all the pain and turmoil that that humans did against one another, you knew he could snap at any moment. No matter how many talks you would have with him or reassure him that all was not lost, he was already lost in his own mind.

You couldn’t help your own best friend, and it was killing you in the end.

Feeling a hand along your backside, you looked a bit timidly to see Makkari going you on the surf of the beach. Seeing her alive, after the brutal beating from Ikaris moments before when you thought all was lost. Yet she was fine and well, not a scratch on her that would be concerning, so you were relieved. Once you two locked eyes, seeing your best friend alive and well, you took in a long breath and she wrapped you in her arms.

Apart from Druig, Makkari was closest to your heart. She knew just how to make you smile and bring you the best gifts. She always had her eyes open to the world and felt everything around her, using all of her senses and more to simply drink in the world and its ever-changing ways. You were heartbroken when you left Makkari and the group so long ago, you have missed her company immensely.

I’m okay she signed to you as you pulled away and scanned her up and down, you sighed in relief as Makkari grinned, You okay?

What were you going to say? How could you say what was festering n your mind and you wished to have come out? The festering feelings that you had towards Druig that now seemed lost since he was gone? The yearning that you had to tell him far before any of this happened? It was all there in your mind, no way of coming out with your words as you then saw Makkari look over her shoulder, almost as if she sensed something. She froze, her hand on your arm clenching for a moment and in such a grip that you felt like you would get a bruise under your armor. Looking at her in confusion, you took her hand.

“What?” You asked in a breath, then followed her gaze to see what has her attention. As soon as you saw it, you felt like the beach dropped out from beneath you, almost free-falling and yet flying at the same time. The silhouette made its way across the beach, leaving footprints behind him.

HIm. Druig. Alive.

Makkari slipped away from you as you were frozen on your spot on the sand, not running or leaving a flash of light behind her as she would in the past. She simply walked, as if he was some kind of illusion and she would break it using her speed. You thought he was an illusion, after seeing him nearly die from Ikaris and his rage. But there he was, being embraced by Makkari with a chuckle on his lips. You watched in amazement and in disbelief, Druig pressing his head to hers, whispering “It’s okay…it’s okay” to Makkair knowing she could read his lips. Makkari grinned, no longer mourning for him.

Druig looked from Makkari to you, his eyes shifting from the joy of seeing Makkari to now looking at your shocked face. Slowly he slipped away from Makkari, walking with ease across the top of the sand and with the wind picking up on his armor and in his hair. You felt like you could cry, you wished you could cry, from thinking of the worst and how all of those “What If’s” no longer were needed. You wanted to run to him, to wanted to wrap your arms around him.

You wanted….what did you want?

Druig took your hands first, lacing your fingers together gently to be palm to palm. His touch was real, the coolness of his calloused skin and fingers against your own made you shutter as you finally looked up from your joined hands to his eyes. He stood right in front of you, hands in the middle, and his eyes were forever soft. You thought back, back to the plenty of times you got lost in those eyes.

When he spoke about the humans, when he joked about Ikaris, when he would hear you talk to him about whatever was on your heart when he would laugh at something you or Makkari would say, when he cried after being told not to interfere with another war. Those moments are flooding your mind in that second, the blue orbs in all their shades that were all Druig rolled into one.

He was there.

Reaching up, you placed a hand on his cheek near his jaw to feel the cool skin on your palm. Once you touched his cheek, he smiled. You knew that smile, and that’s when you cried. Tears rolled down your cheeks, knowing this was no trick or sick dream in the afterlife you thought you were in. Instantly, Druig pulled you into his arms as you cried, keeping him close as you two embraced. Perhaps there was nothing to really say since it felt it in the hug he had on you. One arm around you like a shield, the other clutching your back along your shoulder blades. Your fingers were clutching his armor, your head in his shoulder to breathe him in as another reminder that he was alive and real. That Ikaris didn’t kill him, and that all was not completely lost.

“You missed me?” He asked, sounding like his old self as you two hugged. You laughed, though it was wet since you were still crying. Druig must have heard and sensed it as he leaned back to scan your eyes. He said nothing, maybe he wanted to but he was silent about it. Finally, he simply leaned his head in and touched his forehead with yours.

You knew this gesture all too well, you’ve seen It happen for centuries on end with humans all across the globe. It was a way of speaking without words, the simplest action of consenting to another persona s if you were connecting souls to be one. Touching foreheads meant comradery, it meant mutual respect, it meant friendship and mutual understanding, it meant the sharing of grief.

Lastly, it meant love. Love that was keeping than words and the touching of lips. Love seemed to be laced in time and with the evolution of humans. The one constant thing about humans was love. Love could be in all shades, shapes, and forms. bBt love was still the same.

And you felt it, right there on that beach, with the Mind Controller himself. You loved him with everything you had.

“Let’s rest here for a few days and then we can figure out what we need to do, and I think we earned some rest,”

“Great, I need to call my husband and son. What about you, Druig?”

“Erm, I’m gonna change out of my armor first before I do anythin’ else,”

You watched as Druig slipped out of the meeting room of the Domo and into his old living quarter down the hall, the others then making their way to the ramp that was lowering down onto the South Dakota soil beneath you all. The whistling sounds of the wind were heard as Phastos walked down the ramp first, Thena and Makkari were right behind him. Makkari stopped, seeing you stay in your spot and not follow them.

You coming? She asked, you shaking your head.

“I’m gonna stay and keep an eye on him,” You explained, Makkari giving you a small smile and a nod before she glided down the steps. Thena paused for a moment more, maybe trying to read the room and see the hesitance in your stance. Thena was good at reading between the lines, better than you ever were as she merely smiled. She picked up on something, though before you could say anything to her, she walked away and down the ramp. Even after a heated battle and dealing with her Mahd Wy Ry, Thena was still the powerful warrior you knew and admired for centuries.

Finally, being alone and with your thoughts, you looked back over in the direction of Druig’s quarters. Of course, you were going to keep an eye on him, he has gone through enough and beyond on that beach, and even before reuniting with the rest of the Eternals after walking away from them willingly. But you saw the pain in how Druig was walking, the stiffness in his stance, and in how he would squint with every other step. He was wounded and hurt, but Druig was also never one to seek out help.

So you were going to help him yourself.

You knew his stubborn side and were at the wrath of it a few times long ago, but it was never something that was out of your control. This was just the same, Druig wanting to mend his own wound and not have help. Even after the world nearly ended and he nearly escaped death. As you walked down the hallway, you replayed the reunion that you had on the beach. The feeling of being held by Druig, closely and intimately as if there was no one else watching. You’ve hugged before, so many times, and in so many situations.

Why was this one different? Why did you feel love in it?

Carefully and without making a sound, you placed your hands on the door that was slipped slightly open and you pushed it, feeling it slide over. Poking your head into the dark room, you instantly saw Druig standing in front of the mirror by his bed, looking at his armor and his reflection. He looked more somber, almost as if his mind was haunted by something. Not a scowl, but a pondering gaze as he was scanning his armor. His fingers were twitching at his side, one had moved up and attempted to undo one of the seams that could be taken off easily and have the armor slide off. But he hissed when he moved his arm, you clearing your throat and he looked through the mirror at you.

“You need a hand?” You asked, closing the door behind you. The familiar humming of the Domo and its Eternal energy was the only thing heard as you walked across the small space to be behind Druig. He nodded silently, placing his arm down as you reached up to his shoulder. Pausing for a brief moment, you looked from his shoulder over to his reflection, seeing how his face was a bit downcast. Almost like he was lost in thought yet again, you knew that look far too well for far too long.

“What are you thinking?” You asked softly as you then felt his armor under your fingers, feeling out the latches that were under the armor.

“What makes you think I’m thinkin’?” Druig asked you softly, the tremor of his voice was soft compared to the humming of the Domo with the Eternal Energy.

“Because I know the face you make when you’re thinking and contemplating,” You explained, “You’ve made the same face for the past 7,000 years, Druig. You can talk to me….like we used to,”

Druig said nothing at first as you got one latch done on his armor, then moved to the next latch. You never wanted to use or rush him into talking to you, it never worked that way in the past. He would find you on his own time, and vice versa with you. It seemed as if you two were so in tune with one another that you both inwardly knew when you needed to talk to each other.

That never faded, even after those 500 years of being away from one another and on separate parts of the planets. You felt that tug on some nights alone when you were out in the Pacific North West, longing to talk to Druig and to get his sound advice or pearls of wisdom that he always had. But mostly, you just missed him.

“I’m thinkin’ about the world almost endin’,” Druig said calmly, his eyes going back to his armor that he was still sporting as you got the second latch done before moving to the third near his neck and upper shoulder blade, “I’m thinkin’ about how I was in my village not 4 days ago….and I’m thinkin’ about how I’ve missed you all,”

“They all missed you too,” You reasoned as you were about to undo the last latch when Druig’s eyes snapped over to yours within a second.

“Would it be unkind for me to say I’ve missed some more than others?” He asked you, not in a coy manner but sounding genuine. You had to smile, thinking nothing of it since it was a simple question.

“I don’t think so,” you replied in a hum, though you could tell Druig’s eyes were on you as you were looking at the intrinsic designs of Druig’s armor right in front of your eyes, “I know you and Makkari are very close—“

“I have missed her, but she’s not who I was talking about,” Druig interrupted you gently, and you hear almost a subtle hint in his tone as you were trying to avoid seeing his eyes. You were hoping that he was talking about someone else, anyone else, because you knew if he was talking about you, then you would both be petrified and ecstatic at the same time.

Ecstatic, because you knew those feelings that you had about him were accurate and true. Petrified, because you didn’t know what would happen between the pair of you from that moment on.

“It’s been some time, Druig,” You started, keeping your eyes down but seeing him out of your side view.

“It has,” Druig agreed, “We haven’t actually talked in some time, we used to be close,”

He wasn’t lying then, and as you were contemplating what you were going to or what you were going to say, Druig reached up and touched your hand that was on his shoulder, still not moving from undoing the last latch. Almost like a sign that you were waiting to undo the last latch of hesitance within you, and all Druig had to do was say the right thing or do the right gesture.

“I know,” You agreed, though your voice was not as bold as it was before. A vulnerability was coming in with no way or you to slow it down to eliminate it. And as Druig laced your fingers together on the top of his shoulder, you once again remembered all of those lost moments with Druig so long ago.

Was the feeling the love consistently there?

“Druig,” You started to say, though you had no real sentence formed together in what you were going to tell him, “I—“

Druig moved before he could stop, turning to face you within a moment and being nose-to-nose with you. You exhaled, almost lost in the sudden movement as Druig leaned in and kissed you.

Your mind was blank, your breath was gone, and you felt as though you woke up for the first time on The Domo all over again.

His lips against yours felt so soft, almost like touching the velvet pedals on a newly bloomed flower. Maybe it almost felt like a breath of fog that would brush against your skin to make you shiver, but the sensation of your heart unfolding as if it was tucked in for far too long felt surreal, uneasy, but much needed. He still held your hand, not with force but almost not with too much gentleness either. You felt it in how he kept your joined hands together: He was wanting to kiss you for some time.

But it was gone far too soon, Druig pulled away from one simple kiss that seemed to move mountains inside of you. He barely pulled away, you slowly opening your eyes to see him watching you for some kind of reaction. Did he think you were going to slap him? Or walk out the door and pretend that kiss never happened?

None of that was on your mind, and you leaned back in and kissed him just as softly.

Both of you moved then, not fast and quick like your beating heart, but carefully and in precision. Your fingers were reaching up to cup his face, feeling him slightly tremble as he kissed you over and over. His hands went around your waist instantly, and you felt him tug you in a bit closer as you both were consistently kissing. There was no way for you to stop, after thousands of years of hiding what you were feeling and not telling a soul.

Druig’s hands moved as well as yours, his going along your waist where there was an opening of your armor and he started to undo the latches there while he was keeping his constant slow kisses against your lips. Your body was reacting because of it too, your own fingers seeking out the latch on his shoulder blade. Finally, it clicked off, Druig moved his arms to let the top part of his armor slip off and fall to the floor as he was now moving his kisses to your cheeks and then your jawline. There was no urgency, it felt like Druig was mapping your skin with his lips and trying to engrain the feeling in his own mind. You were doing the same too, your mind was overwhelmed as his armor fell to the ground and his own fingers got your armor loosened too.

Once your armor fell to the ground, another layer came undone

His hands found your waist under your undergarments, you sighed as his lips were along your neck and kissing you so gently, it was like he was afraid you would be frightened by him. Your own hands moved on their own too, landing on his forearms to feel the muscles he developed thanks to running a village deep in the Amazon Jungle.

His fingers along your skin were electric, you felt like he had some kind of mind control over you though it was never the case. Neither one of you was slowing down on your kissing, and your neck was far too sensitive for his lips as you leaned into him some more. You could feel him slowly going lower with his lips, you moaning softly as he then moved away to stare at you deeply. With cherry lips and dilated blue orbs, Druig looked as if he was in his most vulnerable state, and you thought he was downright beautiful.

No walls to hide behind or to put up, no hesitance in what he wanted to do or how he wanted to do it. No reservations, he was simply bare and open to you in this small moment of time.

“I’ve only thought of you for all those 500 years since I walked away,” Druig said to you carefully, you watching his eyes as he held you a pinch tighter, “I should have said something way sooner: I was in love with you, and I still am.”

All this time? Were there signs of his love for you that you didn’t see or were blinded by? There had to have been signs all around you that Druig had feelings for you, and now you felt like a fool. But that had to be placed in the past, everything else that was in the past no longer mattered to you or to Druig. So you smiled, smiled so wide that you felt it in your cheeks as Druig then grinned too.

“I love you too,” You whispered to him, knowing it was true. Nothing else was as certain as those three words that you said to Druig. You had to let your heart guide you as you two undressed each other slowly and with such gentleness, time seemed to have slowed for you two. As clothes were tangled on the floor, Druig eased you into his lap on the bed as your lips never stopped kissing and your hands never stopped roaming.

Feeling this kind of love expanded and heightened was an out-of-body experience for you, Druig touching you in places where you would tremble and whimper in his arms and his love for you kept flowing and growing. He never slowed in his affection, lips traveling over your breasts and stomach, hands grazing your thighs and along your aching core, and his eyes mystified at the sight of you bare and open for him on the bed. He was just as bare, you taking in a breath in how you two got to this place and neither one of you wanted to go back. You loved having him in your arms, touching him along his own legs and hips to hear him moan as he swallowed your whimpers with his kisses.

Druig bringing you pleasure made you think of seeing the stars for the first time up in the heavens in the earlier years on Earth. Your senses were on overdrive and your own soul felt like it was expanding more and more as your pleasure was getting higher and higher. It was a sight to see, you sprawled on the bed and Druig between your legs and making your shake and moan so loud that you were inwardly glad the rest of the group was off the ship. But your mind was on Druig, feeling him lace your hands together as he kept your thighs parted and licked into your folds with vigor and delicacy.

Even as you were being held in his arms as he rolled his hips, you feel him go deeper and slower as you were holding on for dear life. Nothing else seemed to be flooding your mind in that room, just you and Druig tangled together in your sheets and letting each other feel the love you had for one another. It was always there from the very beginning, and now it was the instant sensation that you two were finally sharing it together. The way he held you as he fucked you, not in an animalistic way but in the way only Druig could. Deep and sensual, intense and yet gentle. It seemed like he was possessive of you, but at the same time, he moved your hands to where he knew where you wanted to touch.

Love was an insane feeling and sensational feeling, and you had it with Druig as you climaxed together.

After the rush was gone and you were in the afterglow, Druig still held you close as you were staring at one another. You both were in a sheen of sweat, hair all over the place, and your breathing was still labored. But there was a sense of peace there in that bed, you reached up to trace his brown hair away from his icy blue orbs.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked him as you could see him scanning your eyes. He scooted a bit closer, your shared body heat still couldn’t stop the shiver that you got as Druig traced your spine with his fingers. His kind and steady gaze were still cosmic after getting together in such a state he still took your breath away.

“How we could have had this sooner if I would have told you sooner how I felt,” he admitted. You felt your heart break a little bit from hearing that because you knew that deep down you are thinking the same thing. Perhaps you both were not realizing what was in front of you all this time, what could have blossomed into something beautiful and good.

“We still have time, Druig,” You reminded him, seeing him blink slowly at you as you kissed his palm soothingly, “There’s still time for us, and I wanna make it worth it with you,”

There was still uncertainty about your future now that the Emergence was over and you were all trying to find your ways again. There was no need to stay on Earth and wait for something, but the future will forever be foggy. For now, you were only thinking of the new love that was formed in the very bed, with the very Eternal who wished for love amongst the humans.

Druig leaned in a kiss you again, you sighing against his lips as he rolled to hover over you and kiss you all over your face. You had to giggle from the antic, Druig chuckled from hearing your laugh so light and floating in the air.

The fears were in the past, and your future was bright.

The End.

Tagged - @a-lumos-in-the-nox @botanicalbarnes @heartofwritiing @saradika @virtueassassin @heliosphere8 @basicrese @ethereal-athalia

#druig fluff #druig x reader #druig x oc #druig x female reader #druig x eternal!reader #druig smut oneshot #druig x fem!eternal!reader #eternals fan writing #eternals spoilers #eternals fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #marvel cinematic universe fanfiction #mcu writing #mcu fanfiction #mcu phase 4 #marvels eternals #marvel fanfic writer #marvel fanwriting

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wannaeatramyeon · 11 months

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HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!! IM NOT SURE IF YOUR REQS ARE STILL OPEN OR NOT, IF NOT, PLEASE IGNORE THIS!

its been like 2 or 3 days since i found your account and your fanfics and they are just perfect like they r literally the defination of perfect

and since i love reading ur fanfics, i wanted to ask if it was possible for you to write a gun x goo fanfic where they both realize that they slowly fall in love to each other, but they r too scared to admit it.. just idiots in love, yk. you write them so good and im here for it hehe.

love you, take care of urself<33

Oof Gun x Goo? Gotta admit, I love this pairing. Thank you so much for reading anon and getting back to your ask like... 8 weeks later (maybe 8 weeks of MORE reading heh). 🫶 Take care too!

Gun Park x Goo Kim: Equals

What happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force? Two lives fated to entwine for better or worse? Not souls to be saved but dragging each other to depths of depravity and then some.

Gun's ears pricked when he heard the name from Charles Choi. A weapons prodigy, someone meant to be his equal.

And on their first meeting, all Goo could say at first glance was 'woah' to the man standing before him. A legend built through rumours of ferocity and power on the grapevine.

What better way is there to prove everything than with a test of strength?

It didn't take long for them to bring out the brutality in one another. A bloody battle resulting in no clear winner but perfectly matched equals, lasting scars and permanent steel pins.

The beginning of a partnership.

An object of mutual hatred speeds up their bonding.

Mr. Carpenter. Tom Lee. Someone who tests the limits of their patience and what they are willing to do to achieve their goals.

Day after day, both put through their paces until their bodies are beaten and spirits almost broken.

Gun is the first one to offer a helping hand. A truce. Held in his palm a healing balm developed by the Yamazaki clan to ease the muscles and numb the agony.

It's not much. Though it means at least Goo can go to sleep instead of lying awake, brain kept sharp from his body and limbs pulsing with pain.

Goo calls him a bastard and takes it.

Opposites in so many ways yet different sides of the exact same coin.

Forced to spend minutes, hours, days, in one another's company. Until they know each other's habits like their own. Know every single button to press. Can predict the next words out of the other's mouth. The time together, the company becoming as natural as breathing.

It was Goo's idea.

After the training, after they both started working formally for HNH.

Cabin fever building from seeing each other day in day out. Partners during business hours, sharing a home during the rest.

Why not prove dominance in other ways Goo had suggested, thinking there is no way Gun Park would say yes to this.

But when all the constant fights only lead to dead ends, what else is there to do? Why not chase a little pleasure with the pain too.

Gun agrees.

It doesn't mean anything. Why would it? It's a means to an end (though the victor is never decided) and a way to fulfil a human need.

The first inkling of something blossoming is thanks to Sinu Han.

The Boss of Big Deal breaking Goo's glasses and him sulking all the way home.

After listening to his incessant whining for what feels like hours, Gun takes a detour; pulling up straight outside an optometrist and marching the blonde in.

He even pays the bill.

"Aww," Goo places the black frames on and Gun has to admit that his broken ones, the gold pair, never did him enough justice, "A gift for your boyfriend. How kind."

Little adventures together add up. Nights in a bathhouse. Natural springs. Sailing vast oceans. Drifting under the open sky.

Training and eating and fighting. Against each other or back to back, Gun looking out for Goo and Goo looking out for Gun.

Honing their skills, unknowingly, to fight with a very specific partner by their side.

Hours upon hours upon hours together.

Sunlight following as they drive along highways, experiencing the highs of summer and lows of winter and everything in between.

Moonlight illuminating dark corners in shady warehouses; casting a glow on all the skin torn open with violence and blood they have spilled.

It's a twisted sort of romance. One that would never be remembered as any great love story but fitting for demons that have never known anything else.

Karaoke in Ansan is never part of the plan.

(Neither was falling into bed together.)

Completely destroying the place and crew was but not the staying behind, surrounded by broken bodies and singing.

Goo pouts and frowns so much that Gun, even with the vein throbbing on his neck, acquiesce.

And when Gun suggested they make a move back to Seoul soon, and Goo scowled even more, saying he's having fun?

Fine. They stay for another song.

Which turns into 3, into 5, into the whole night.

Gun never gives in to the duet Goo asks for. He considers that a small win.

Goo is not familar with jealousy. Simply put, he’s an attention seeker. Loves the limelight, seeks it out and demands all eyes on him.

When Gun first started obsessing over Daniel Park, it doesn't affect him. Not really.

But when they're together, Gun is still distracted. Well, that's when it irks him.

On seeing Gun's broken arm, Goo laughed himself silly. It's what that bastard deserves.

Daniel Park should have broken his other one. Maybe snapped a leg too and his neck.

Goo continues to laugh even when he holds up Gun's phone for him.

Even when he knots that asshole's tie.

Even when he follows him to check ups and appointments.

Goo laughs especially hard when he offers to feed him and receives a dirty look in return.

It's only half a joke.

Everyone knows of their fights, the way they constantly butt heads and gripe at each other.

What no-one else sees are the moments of tenderness. That neither realise they are capable of giving and also could accept.

Goo, one that always prefers to run his mouth, stays quiet. Sitting in the gloom with Gun whenever a successor doesn't work out.

Eagerly takes the brunt of Gun's frustrations with his back arched and whimpers falling from his lips.

Then when finally, the storm passes, Goo is still there. Full of smart quips and sassy remarks until Gun cracks. A smirk, a tiny thing.

But it's there.

Debt is repaid and so is kindness, though no one is keeping count.

And neither would admit that it's kindness.

The night Goo returns home, shovel in hand after the run in with Charles Choi and Tom Lee, Gun is the one that offers to fight Tom Lee together.

Goo doesn't know how serious he is. Nevertheless the idea makes him cackle. Maybe they would win, maybe they would die together.

It’s kind of poetic, in a way.

In the morning, he wakes with Gun curled around his back and an arm flung over his waist.

Cards are still held close to their chest; Gun and Goo both keep their secrets. They're at each other's throat as much as they're on each other's lips.

It's an unconventional relationship that would likely doom anyone else but for them, it works.

They never tell one another how they feel, they don't have to. It's not in their nature to say I love you, anyway. Their actions speak for themselves.

Gun watches his partner, his equal, driving. Humming along to a pop song, windows down and breeze fanning his hair.

It really is strange how they have managed to slot all their broken edges together.

How the line has blurred and turned fuzzy, yet now he can't recall if there was a line in the first place.

Goo, feeling Gun's eyes on him, looks over and snorts when he sees his expression. It's become soft, softer still with each passing day. He would make fun but sometimes he catches himself wearing the same one.

And. Well, he doesn't want to be a hypocrite. Not with this.

Goo grins, wide and a little wild, "We have fun, don't we?"

Gun barely even needs to think about his answer.

"Of course."

#lookism #lookism manhwa #lookism webtoon #lookism fic #gun x goo #gun park x goo kim #gun park #park jonggun #kim joongoo #goo kim #gungoo #wannaeatramyeon

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kamigui · 11 months

Text

A fanfic idea I'd like to dedicate to you

I wanted to share this idea I have with you because I saw that beautiful animation you made of your OC Rubee and Wally with that scene of the Hunt vs Hunted AU that nonomives made and the other AUs incorporated in it. I'm actually currently writing a fanfic inspired by that AU with plans to dedicate it to nonomives (with their permission), and I just absolutely live for the angst and redemption arcs. Your incredible art really gave me the inspiration I needed to start working on it.

I'm actually in my lovers-turned-enemies trope right now, and my mind began racing with just this concept of (what if) Rubee actually surviving the Hunt vs Hunted scenario and was accidentally turned, but somehow the effect was so diluted it didn't necessarily destroy her mind and make her feral, but instead caused her to slowly start losing her mind, where any memories of Wally were tampered with or discarded and whatever horrors she might have witnessed were misplaced onto Wally?

(Because in reality, he'd never actually hurt her, she just convinced herself he did because there's so many pieces missing in her brain she had to just fill them in herself. And then there's the assumption Wally accidentally committed genocide as a response to his grief of losing Rubee, therefore, she's more convinced that he just has to be evil. She obviously doesn't know the true reason, only knowing that he had harmed a lot of people) (I'm thinking this affliction could potentially turn her immortal, or at least, very difficult to kill and inhumanely strong; but she could probably still get hurt).

Because of this, any positive feelings for him were replaced with disgust and hatred, where she felt her only response is to pretty much destroy him so he didn't hurt anyone else. But, it's conflicting because deep inside her soul she's hesitant, scared, and longing for the security/safety he provided her in the past, before she lost her memories /and before he thought she was dead/.

Anyway, there was a scene playing in my mind where she managed to get to him, like, actions set in motion just ready to pierce his heart. And Wally's just looking up at her, not really fighting back, but holding her off, eyes just pitiful and sad and desperate; because "How is she alive-?".

He's in disbelief, emotions torn between sadness, anger, and overwhelming love. And she's trying to kill him, not realizing that she's crying and struggling to actually finish him off. Because, yes, she has to kill him so no one suffers like she did--but also, no, because that part of her that 'died' that night still clings to hope and love.

I think Wally would immediately know that she's affected by his blood, since according to nonomives, people who are closer to Wally's blood go insane and feral, depending on the level of potency the person was dosed with. I really like this concept, because that could potentially lead to the rarest opportunity where someone hasn't been completely overcome by his affliction. Maybe Rubee was just extremely strong willed in mind and spirit, so her body (could have) managed to refrain from completely turning into a vampire zombie? That tiny, sliver of hope motivates Wally to figure out some sort of 'cure' for Rubee, but we have no idea what the implications of that would do.

(Could she die due to having lived so long and just turn into dust? Would she end up suffering from the pain and physical damage she's received all these years, finally catching up to her? Is there the chance she'll just return back to him? We don't really know. Too many endings, no solid answers.)

//Anyway, feel free to just yeet this in the trash if you want. Ha ha ha, I'm just dumb and rambling... I don't want to interject or impede on your work, or self-insert your OC into anything. I'd hate to misinterpret the characters. But I just really wanted to share this idea and hope you'd at least enjoy it. If you do approve and gave me permission to pursue this, I would be more than happy to dedicate a fanfiction on the topic because I just think it's *chefs kiss*

//I supposed, this is also my way of asking if it's alright with you for me to pursue this idea with your OC?

#submission

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just-dreaming-marvel · 2 years

Text

The Bond Between Us ~ 49

THE BOND BETWEEN US MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 4,070ish

Summary: Reunited, you and Obi-Wan need to get the people off Jabiim quickly before Vader arrives.

Notes: I loved writing this one! The little sweet moments I was able to put in was just so... ugh! Loved it!

You woke up in a bacta tank. You immediately began panicking, confused as to where you were and what was going on. Obi-Wan quickly got your attention from outside the tank. His hand rested against the glass as he tried to push some comfort toward you.

“You’re alright, little star,” his voice was muffled. “I’m right here.”

You continued to panic. Your brain still not comprehending that this was real. Obi-Wan noticed.

“Pull her out!” He demanded.

“But she’s not—“ Tala tried.

“I said pull her out! Now!”

Obi-Wan raced up the small set of stairs that led to the top of the bacta tank as Tala controlled the wires that began pulling you out. As soon as you breached the surface, you spit out the breathing tube and were crying and whimpering.

“Please, don’t hurt me,” you whimpered, clearly not thinking straight. “Please, don’t hurt me.”

Every time Obi-Wan thought he couldn’t feel anymore heartbreak, you went and did something that further proved him wrong. He quickly grabbed you and unhooked you from the wires, pulling you out and into him. You trembled as you willingly leaned against him.

“It’s just me, darling,” Obi-Wan’s voice was soft as his signature wrapped around yours tightly. “No one is going to hurt you here.”

“Obi?” You questioned, looking up. Then you remembered the rescue. The Fortress. Leia. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I—“

“No, no, no, no, no. Do not apologize, my dear. You have been through a trauma no one should ever have to endure. It’s going to take a while before you are fully healed; mind, body, and spirit.”

You nodded, looking around the room. “Where are we?”

~~~

Obi-Wan explained everything that had happened; Leia getting kidnapped, the Third Sister, the Path, his duel with Darth Vader, Leia getting kidnapped again, and Jabiim. He did this all while he helped you get dressed, knowing that you would not be willing to enter the bacta tank since you were continually clinging onto him. Not that he minded. Having you by his side was something he had lost forever. If you longed to be there, he would make it happen.

You and Obi-Wan walked out to the main area of the hidden base, seeing Leia talking to Haja.

“Haja?” Obi-Wan questioned. “What are you doing here?”

“I had nowhere else to go,” Haja said. “Right after I saw you, I got into a fight with that scary lady Inquisitor. Now, I’m wanted by the Empire. But now, I know what it feels like being a real Jedi.” Haja laughed. “It’s not easy. This place is a good business opportunity though.” Haja walked off.

“On you go,” Obi-Wan encouraged Leia. She ran off to join Tala who was talking to other kids. “Roken,” Obi-Wan and yourself walked up to the other man, “that transport, I need to get her back to Alderaan.”

“Once we get all these people out of here, I’ll do whatever you want,” Roken replied. “They’ve been waiting for months. We used an old trade route to get them out but the window’s closing. We held it to help you get the kid. We only have a few hours.”

Obi-Wan nodded as the two of you looked around in the crowded space. “We’ll do whatever we can to help.”

Roken gave Obi-Wan and yourself a thankful nod before giving Obi-Wan’s arm a pat as he walked away. “Alright, alright, let’s hurry it up! Get ready for dust-off. Leave anything you don’t need.”

“Come here. There’s something I believe you’ll want to see.”

Obi-Wan guided you over to a wall full of carvings. The carvings of names and symbols and sayings. You left Obi-Wan’s side to run your fingers along the carvings.

“The light will fade, but is never forgotten,” Obi-Wan read off in a whisper.

He glanced down to see a crate of left-behind lightsabers. Picking one up, he inspected it before setting it down and picking up one of the forgotten Jedi cloaks. Turning back to the wall, Obi-Wan looked at you. He remembered a time when your light could fill the whole Jedi Temple. Now, you stood before him so worn down, and yet you never gave in. Your light had faded slightly, but you were never going to let it be forgotten. He took a step and reached out for your hand. You turned as he brought it up to his lips for a kiss.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“To remind me that you’re real,” he admitted. “I… I had thought you died. The pain… it was…”

You hurried closer to him, cupping his bearded face. “I am so sorry, Obi. I did what I had to do, but that is no excuse.”

“No, no, please don’t apologize. I understand what you did. All of it. I am just grateful to have you here with me now.” He leaned forward and kissed your lips softly. “My little star.”

You sighed. “I have missed you so much.”

Your attention was quickly pulled to the hangar doors slamming shut above you. Obi-Wan made sure your hand was in his firmly as the two of you jogged over to Sully.

“What’s happening?” Obi-Wan asked.

“The controls aren’t responding,” Sully answered.

“An Imperial Destroyer just arrived in orbit above us,” Roken stated.

“She must have tracked us,” Tala added.

“It’s not her,” Obi-Wan said. He glanced at you to confirm what he was sensing. You gave him a worried look, feeling the same thing that he was. “It’s Vader.”

“He wants us to surrender,” Sully said.

“If we surrender, he’ll kill us all,” said Tala.

“He’ll attack next,” Obi-Wan stated. “He hasn’t the patience for a siege.”

“How do you know?” Roken wondered.

Obi-Wan and yourself looked at each other sadly. You squeezed his hand, trying to bring him some peace. He looked around, noticing that the crowd was panicking. He shook his head slightly.

“Everyone,” he called loud enough to gain the crowd’s attention. “Everyone. I understand you’re scared. The Empire will attack soon. They’re stronger than us, better equipped, better trained. If we try and fight them, we will not survive. But we do not need to fight them. We just need to hold them off long enough to get you all out.”

You stood there, holding Obi-Wan’s hand, in awe. Your mind almost took you back to the clone wars because there, beside you, stood General Obi-Wan Kenobi. And it was clear he hadn’t been around for a long time.

“Roken,” Obi-Wan continued, “how much time do you need to override the doors?”

“Three, four hours,” Roken responded.

“You have one. And block every other remote access. Everyone else, we’re gonna lock down every other entrance in this facility. If we defend our position together, then by the time they get inside, we’ll be gone.”

“You heard him!”

The crowd quickly started moving. Obi-Wan looked over at you, noticing you were staring.

“What?” He questioned. “What is it? Have I got something on my face?”

You chuckled lightly. “No,” you responded, your free hand coming up to rest on his cheek, “it’s in your eyes… General Kenobi.” You pressed a light kiss to his lips. “I saw you eyeing that cloak over there. Why don’t you wear it?”

“I don’t know—“

“There is no time for excuses, Master Kenobi. Grab it and bring me one as well.”

~~~

You, Obi-Wan, and Roken, quickly got to work on a plan to get the people out as quickly as possible. You knew that Vader had no patience and a force was on their way to you right now. You could sense them when they arrived, lines of stormtroopers and the Third Sister waiting outside of the base’s entrance. You flinched when the door started being fired upon.

“It’s a heavy gun!” Sully said, racing toward you, Obi-Wan, Tala, Haja, and Roken. “They’re trying to blast through the outside door.”

“Roken, we need the hangar roof open,” Tala stated.

Roken pressed a button, muttering to himself. “Come on. Come on. Come on.” The gears straining but the roof did not open.

“That was underwhelming,” Haja commented.

“I don’t need your opinion.”

“Did you try going in the vents to see what’s going on?”

“I’m a little too big to be crawling around in the vents. Would you like to try?”

Leia walked confidently toward your group. “I’m going to need a ladder,” she stated.

“It’s not playtime right now, Princess.”

“Do as she asks,” Obi-Wan ordered. Roken was surprised. “You trust me? I trust her. Get her the ladder.”

Roken huffed. “Get her a ladder. Quick.”

“Leia.” The girl turned to you and Obi-Wan as he called for her. “Be careful.” She nodded before walking off. “Haja, will you keep your eye on her?”

“I am not a babysitter, Ben,” Haja responded as a device began beeping in Obi-Wan’s pocket.

He pulled it out. “We have to go.” Without another word to Haja, Obi-Wan pulled you away.

“I don’t know how I feel about the name Ben,” you admitted.

“It was the best I could do.”

“Was it?”

Obi-Wan pulled you into a secluded room. He let go of your hand, set down the device and turned it on. Bail appeared in a recorded hologram transmission.

“I know we said no communication, but your silence worries me,” Bail said, his worry evident on his face. “If he’s found you, if he’s learned of the children… If I don’t hear from you soon, I’ll head to Tatooine. Owen will need help with the boy. I pray you’re safe, Obi-Wan. Both of you.”

You noticed the worried look on Obi-Wan’s face as he rubbed his beard. His old habit that you didn’t realize you had missed until now.

“We will get her home,” you told him, trying to reassure him. He nodded, opting to stay silent. “Then you can get back to watching over Luke on Tatooine.”

His brows furrowed as he turned to you. “Are you not coming—“

“Is everything alright?” Tala asked, sensing the room as she came in.

“It will be,” you told her, ignoring Obi-Wan’s look of great concern. He huffed slightly, crossing his arms over his chest as his concern grew.

“You know, I was following orders on Garel. The Empire said it was a roundup. People not paying their way, taxes for the cause. They lied… There were four families, all Force-sensitive, and we… we gather them up. I didn’t know who they were. I didn’t know what the Inquisitors would do. Fourteen people died, and six of them were children, and I couldn’t do anything to help them. So now, I do this.” She lifted her blaster to show tick marks on the barrel. “One for every one I get through.” She placed it back in the holster. “You’re right, Ben. Some things you can’t forget. But you can fight to make them better.”

“We’re in trouble,” Roken said, rushing in. You all quickly followed, feeling the blast against the door shake as you rushed into the hangar. “I don’t know how long it’s gonna hold. We got a plan B here?”

“We’re going to have to slow them down,” Obi-Wan said. “Tell the Inquisitor I want to talk.”

“That we want to talk,” you corrected.

“She started this when she kidnapped Leia. You do not—“

“She came to me before she kidnapped Leia. Trying to get information on how to drag you out because clearly having me in the Empire’s hold wasn’t working.”

“I didn’t know. If I had—“

“I know, Obi-Wan, I know. But she didn’t need to know that… She’s been taunting both of us. We will both speak with her. Besides, I believe I know her.” You looked at Roken. “We will buy as much time as we can.”

You and Obi-Wan walked over to the sealed doors. You could sense the Third Sister on the other side while Obi-Wan placed his hand against the door to do the same.

“If this is you stalling for time, it won’t work,” the Third Sister taunted. “Lord Vader will have you at any cost. Both of you.”

“You mean, Anakin,” Obi-Wan corrected. “You knew who Vader was. Back on Daiyu, how did you know that? Vader would have kept that hidden, and you’re too young to have know him. Unless…”

“Unless you were there,” you said, it finally coming back to you just as Obi-Wan used the Force to sense it from the Third Sister. “You were one of the younglings I once trained… Reva.”

“It doesn’t matter where I was,” Reva retorted.

“The night of Order 66,” Obi-Wan continued, “you were a youngling. That’s how you knew. You saw him.”

“Stop.”

“Anakin killed the others.”

“That’s enough.”

“He killed the other younglings, but somehow you su—“

“Enough! Enough!” You could feel that her memories of that night were replaying in her mind as she grew quiet for a moment. “We thought he was there to help us. I tried to help them, but I couldn’t. I was too weak. When he left, I played dead. Hid with the bodies.” Obi-Wan’s eyes closed. “Felt them go cold... I even saw Y/N arrive at the Temple. I thought she could help but watched Anakin overpower her…” Your eyes shut next as you tried not to relive the memories. “They were the only family I knew, and he slaughtered them.”

“You’re not serving him, are you? You’re hunting him.”

“Let us help you,” you told her, snapping your eyes open.

“Why would I ever trust either of you?”

“Because we want the same thing,” Obi-Wan responded.

“Do we, Obi-Wan? Do you really want Anakin dead?” Obi-Wan’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to form an answer to that question. “Where were you while he was killing my friends? He was your Padawan. Why didn’t you stop him? Why didn’t you save us? I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone.”

“You won’t stop him alone.”

“You have no idea what I’ve done alone.”

Suddenly, Reva’s red lightsaber was plunged through the door. Obi-Wan barely shoved you out of the way in time. She pushed it down and through the seal on the door. She opened the door next, only to be Force pushed back by both you and Obi-Wan. Reva grunted as she slid back through her lines of stormtroopers and they started firing.

“Fall back to second position!” Obi-Wan ordered.

The two of you ignited your lightsabers and began to deflect the oncoming blasts. Some of the crowd fired back on the storm troopers while the others rushed away, following Obi-Wan’s orders. Reva ordered her troopers to continue forward. The troopers entered the base, allowing you and Obi-Wan to physically cut them down and the crowd ran down the tunnel. You and Obi-Wan were the last ones into the tunnel, rushing down it. You were still weak and tripped over your own two feet. Obi-Wan quickly caught you as he kept running.

“I’ve got you,” he promised. “Come on.”

The two of you turned back when you saw that stormtroopers were closing in. You watched as a woman was shot down, injured. Obi-Wan quickly raced to her side, helping her to safety as you ignited your lightsaber and deflected shots. Tala was beside you, fighting as well. Her droid, NED-B, was in front of you both, firing and physically harming the oncoming troopers.

“Tala!” You screamed as she went down, having been hit in her abdomen. Obi-Wan spun around at your screams, igniting his lightsaber. You knelt beside her as she gasped.

“No!” Obi-Wan shouted.

Troopers began surrounding you, forcing you to fight back. Obi-Wan, busy with other troopers, was unable to get to you or Tala.

“Tala! Y/N! No!” He screamed.

“Go,” Tala urged you. “Get him out of here.”

Panting, you nodded. You fought through the stormtroopers to get back to Obi-Wan’s side. He continued to shout for Tala as he fought to get to her. Tala looked back to see you and Obi-Wan grunting as you swung your sabers. She held up a detonator.

“Go!” She shouted.

“No!” Obi-Wan screamed.

Tala shot at the door panel, closing the door between you, Obi-Wan, and her. “May the Force be with you.”

Obi-Wan pulled you away as the explosion rocked the base’s foundation. He ran with you until he got to the hangar, the doors closing behind you both. He fell to his knees, pulling you down with him, wrapped his arms around you, and held you close. You could feel his grief and quickly hugged him back to let him know he was not alone in it.

“Please, tell me we’re close,” Roken said.

“Leia, you close?” Haja called.

“Working on it!” She responded from the vents.

“She’s working on it.”

Slowly, Obi-Wan stood up, keeping you in his arms. He panted as he looked around, clearly distraught.

“What is it?” Roken asked. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s over,” Obi-Wan breathed out. He looked at you before leaning in and kissing you deeply. “I’m going back.” He let go of you and turned around.

“You can’t quit,” Roken caught Obi-Wan before you could. “I fought for too long. You can’t just throw that away. It won’t make a difference. They want all of us.”

“Vader wants me.”

“If you surrender, she died for nothing. He’ll keep coming.”

“That’s why I have to stop him.”

“Not alone,” you cut in. “If you think I am going to let you go out there and turn yourself in, you are crazy!”

“I cannot lose you again!”

“And you think I can handle losing you?! Especially at the hands of him… at my own brother…”

“Little star…” he stepped back to you, hands coming to rest on your arms.

“You will not do this without me. He is expecting you to surrender. Do it with me at your side.”

“He knows I’ll do everything I can to protect these people… to protect you.”

“That’s why I must come with you.”

Obi-Wan studied your eyes and knew that you were right. He sighed with a nod, kissing your forehead briefly before going over to Haja.

“Haja, look out for her, will you?” Obi-Wan requested, talking about Leia as he handed the man the communication device, his lightsaber, and his blaster. You handed your saber over to him as well.

“You want to tell me how either of you are gonna fight without a weapon?” Roken questioned.

“There are other ways to fight.”

Hand in hand, you and Obi-Wan walked over to the door that Tala had shut. A few civilians followed so that they could shut it quickly behind you. Obi-Wan brought your hand to his lips for a brief kiss before letting it go. Both of you held your hands up in surrender as you walked toward the stormtroopers.

“Seize them,” one of the troopers ordered.

Two troopers came on either side of you. They roughly shoved your arms down and bound your wrists together in front of you. Two stormtroopers escorted either of you out to where Reva was waiting. The troopers behind Reva, quickly aimed at you. Obi-Wan and yourself were stopped when you reached Reva.

“Inform Lord Vader, Kenobi and Y/N are ours,” she said cockily.

Reva nodded and you and Obi-Wan were forced onto your knees. You bit back a groan. Obi-Wan felt the pain, knowing you were still not healed enough, and tightened his signature around yours. The troopers backed away as you and Obi-Wan stoically knelt before the Inquisitor.

“He’s on his way,” Reva stated. “You’re gonna die soon.”

“You’re not bringing him to us,” Obi-Wan whispered. “We are bringing him to you… this isn’t over yet.” Reva came closer to the two of you. You stayed silent while you let the Negotiator do what he was best at. “There are families back there. Children. Are you gonna let him do it again, what he did to you? We could end this together.”

Reve thought a moment before shaking her head slightly. “What makes you think he won’t see it coming?”

“Because all he’ll see is me.”

Reva sighed, turning around as she paced. She motioned for the troopers behind you to escort you both back behind the doors. You and Obi-Wan quickly took care of the stormtroopers that were guarding you. He rushed over to you, checking you over even if nothing really happened to you.

“Are you alright?” He fretted.

“I’m fine, Obi-Wan,” you responded. “Though, I can feel my body growing more tired.”

“We must hurry then.”

Placing an arm around your waist, Obi-Wan held you close to his side as the two of you rushed down the tunnels. You could sense Vader approaching and knew that you were running out of time. When the two of you reached the hangar, you noticed the roof opening and Leia climbing down the ladder.

“Everything’s all set,” Roken told you both.

Obi-Wan nodded, letting you go and hurrying toward the girl. “Leia!” He exclaimed. He got on his knees and the two quickly embraced. You couldn’t stop the tears from coming. “Well done!”

Leia pulled away and looked around. “Where’s Tala?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. Leia sighed before looking at you and coming over. You got down on one knee to be closer to her level. You were surprised when she embraced you and quickly reacted in kind. When she pulled away, you looked at her with slight confusion.

“What was that for?” You asked.

“I feel like I’ve met you before,” Leia stated honestly. “It’s faint, but it’s there.” You looked up at Obi-Wan with glossy eyes before quickly focusing back on the girl. “Are you my real mother?”

“Oh, oh my sweet Leia,” you held her hands, “I wish I was.”

“Did you know her?”

“I did and maybe someday I might be able to tell you about her but right now, we’ve got to go.”

Leia took hold of your hand tightly as you and Obi-Wan guided her to the transport. You could sense Vader’s closeness and knew that time was almost up. You loaded onto the transport and watched nervously out of the window. Darth Vader marched in as a transport took off. You gasped as he seemed to so easily use the Force to prevent the ship from flying away. He forced the engine to shut down and crashed the transport to the ground. Using the Force, Vader tore off the wall, revealing no one inside. The transport you and the others were in, quickly took off before Vader could do anything.

You were leaning heavily against Obi-Wan as you and he sat on one of the benches along the wall. He was worried that if you didn’t receive the proper medical care fast, he could actually lose you this time. The ship shuddered just before Roken came in and quickly sat by the two of you.

“Our hyperdrive is down,” he whispered, “and they’re behind us.”

Obi-Wan looked at you with worry. He would not let anything happen to you or these people on board. Suddenly, you both could feel it in the Force. Something wasn’t right. You gripped onto Obi-Wan as he did the same to steady you.

His silence did not sit well with Roken. “Kenobi, are you listening to me?”

“Something’s wrong,” Obi-Wan stated.

“What is it?” Obi-Wan quickly looked at you and Leia, trying to see if what the Force was telling him had to do with the two of you. “Are you okay?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Obi-Wan brushed it off. “Thank you, Roken.”

You did not believe Obi-Wan as his eyes were still trying to sense out what was happening. The Force was warning you about something, but what was it?

next chapter >

TAGLIST IS CLOSED - Taglist Information

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lastontheboat · 9 months

Note

Fandom creators self rec game! Choose five favourites from your own creations (and tell me why, if you like!), then pass on to at least five other people. I'd love to hear what you're proudest of.

Thank you @tackytigerfic for providing me an opportunity for navel-gazing! I enjoyed reading about your own favourites; I find it super interesting to see what other creators value about their works.

Per my last letter (I hope you choke on it)

This is my favourite completed fic for a number of reasons:

1. I had always wanted to try writing an epistolary

2. I had always wanted to try collaborating on a fic with a friend

3. The writing process was an absolute joy

It feels like a distillation of many of my favourite things, but unlike many fics the creation process didn't involve tearing my hair out trying to make it do what I wanted. Whenever I'd get stuck, I'd just close the document and go to bed, then when I woke up the next morning @fluxweeed would have added several new scenes that set my brain on fire. It was an absolutely magical experience for me, and I'm extremely fond of the end result. This is probably the fic of mine that I've re-read the most, and it delights me every time!

Podfic of Stop All The Clocks, by firethesound

I've got a lot of podfics to choose from, but this is one that I'm particularly proud of. The original fic is imprinted on my soul, but the thing that sticks with me more than the actual plot is the sensation of reading it and feeling my heart break over and over.

Making podfics is a very personal craft for me. It's an investment of my time, and I generally choose ones to record that I strongly associate with a particular first-time reading experience. This was my sixth large podfic project, and I really wanted my reading to amplify the heartbreak that's already present in the text. It was a much more emotional recording and editing process than most of my podfics, but it's also the only one I've listened to entirely after releasing it.

I'm extremely fond of every listener who has taken the plunge and commented about their experience of it, and completely understand everyone who has been like "I don't fuck with that fic. You couldn't pay me to listen it."

body electric

This is the first fic I can recall writing that was entirely driven by a feeling. I remember being consumed by the idea of that spark between Harry and Draco, of them needing to feed it and hold it but being unable to act upon it. I was between jobs and had a lot of time to myself, and I wrote this fic in a fugue state over the space of two days. I had never experienced a writing process so feverish before, and I don't know if I will again.

I also need to shout out the beta feedback I got from @zaharya on this one, whose very insightful comments about the passage of time in the second chapter led to me adding a bunch of my favourite lines to it:

“I want to bend you over this table,” he says, panting now. “I want you under me, here in my workshop. You’ll leave here and every time you smell wood shavings you’ll think of me.” “I already do,” Malfoy says, his voice cracking.

Podfic of If The Fates Allow, by saras_girl

I spend a lot of time listening to audiobooks these days, and I really appreciate being able to consume so many stories while driving or cooking. For me, recording a podfic is about giving others the opportunity to experience some of my favourite fics, and trying to capture some of what they mean to me in my voicing.

saras_girls fics hold a very special place in my heart, and this one is my absolute favourite of hers. As a podfic, the biggest challenge here was dealing with the ensemble cast—it stretched the limits of unique voices I could do without them sounding forced, but it was also exciting trying to keep the voices consistent across 25 chapters.

the spirit is willing (the flesh is weak)

This is the newest fic that I finished (the only one so far in 2023), but I haven't made too much noise about it on here because it's attached to my alt account. This one started out as a concept that wouldn't leave me alone (Bill/Ginny fuck or die), but it's also another data point in my exploration of what it's like to write smut.

I still don't think it comes naturally to me, whatever that means—I'm much more comfortable keeping my writing to Teen, but I'm very satisfied with how this fic achieves what I set out to do with it. It was a stretch, but a good stretch!

#my works #navel-gazing #i've always wanted to put together some behind the scenes posts about my creations #thank you helping that process along!

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bigalockwood · 4 months

Note

Hey Liaaa,

I somehow completely missed that you were also doing that fanfic ask thing yesterday, so I'm a little late

♥️( I know you already answered this, but idk if you maybe have some more favourites I would love to know them, otherwise just ignore this one)

💥👻📗🎨

Hope you have a lovely day!! 💜💜

Sophia 💜💜

Thank you for sending these, I love talking about writing 💜💜

❤️: “The outside world seemed muffled, like a radio turned down so low that it was mere background noise, while the sounds inside the buildings seemed amplified by the cheerful spirits of the student body. Hillerska had become its own secluded world, a snow globe, although nothing tangible had changed.” (All is fair in love and secret Santa)

And for some reason also this one: “They were laughing now, laughing and giggling, elated to have escaped the stuffy room and Marcus, and Simon’s hand felt just that bit smaller than Wille’s, and his skin was endlessly soft, except where his palms and finger pads were calloused from countless hours of playing guitar and bass, and it was warm, with his rings pressing coldly against the back of Wille’s hand, and they hadn’t let go, not yet.” (Royally Whipped)

💥: Oh, this is sooo difficult. Because everything is connected and one thing sets off another, changing just one factor would impact the entire story. Not having Erik die seems like a too big change (I don’t think August would’ve done what he did for example), so I think I’d have to say Wille doesn’t deny he’s in the video. I love reading stories that deal with that, a scenario where Wille finds the courage to stand up for himself.

(If you feel like answering: what is one thing you’d change? I’m really curious!)

👻: I don’t think it’s all that wild (there’s been discussion about it after all) but I don’t think Erik was all that great and was more similar to Kristina than Wille and would’ve supported her call to make Wille deny the video. (And I also think Simon would never actually become a singer, much less a popstar, as much as I love reading and writing stories like that).

📗: I’ve written a lot of original stories, some of them novel length, others short stories. It’s mostly high fantasy, which is the genre I grew up reading. I also write a lot of poetry (many lines come to me during my nightly five minute wake-ups lmao). I currently don’t have the bandwidth for original stories, but I’d like to return to it once my schedule is less busy and my brain isn’t by consumed by nothing but YR. I’d also love to try writing a screenplay one day!

🎨: Oh, I don’t know. I mean, that would be incredible and I can’t believe anyone would ever do that! But I think I’d either like to see something from Royally Whipped (I think the concert scene I’m writing right now lends itself beautifully to “Wille starring mesmerized at Simon” art) or something funny featuring breeches hating Simon from “Simon Eriksson hates breeeches”. Like him starring at Wille’s ass when he rides past him lmao.

I hope you have the loveliest day 💜💜💜

(Sorry this got so long lmao)

#lias letters #sillylittleflower #talking shit for the hell of it

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strwberri-milk · 2 years

Text

Passing Hands: Chapter 7 - Sunlit Meetings

Bridgerton!AU || Diluc x Fem!Reader || Drama, Falling in Love, Slow Burn || 3 240 words

“That ball was an absolute nightmare. I have no idea why you thought it was a good idea to have me be in such close contact with your picking for so long,” Diluc grumbles, sprawled across his chaise lounge.

As punishment for making him socialise, Kaeya was now doing his work for him. Despite how flippant the other man seemed to be he was actually very good at doing the work demanded of him when forced into it. It didn’t stop him from being a thorn in Diluc’s side which he despised, practically scowling as he tried to forget everything he was subjected to.

“You seemed like you were having fun though brother,” Kaeya states clearly. “Much more fun than myself at least.”

“That’s right. How did you manage to survive that brute of a Valet?’ Diluc asks, finding delight in hearing about Kaeya’s failed adventures.

“The mere fact that Rin grew to be the woman she is under his guidance is surprise enough to me. Honestly, that man does not have a bone of fun in his body. But I guess that’s why she’s so wily when you look away from her. He chewed me out for slighting her but I managed to make it up to her,” Kaeya responds with a smile, clearly happy with whatever reaction he managed to get out of the woman.

The use of Lady Kholer’s given name doesn’t shock Diluc in the least, knowing that she had quickly warmed up to both brothers upon meeting them.

“And how did you do that? Have you even told her you’ve been courting someone on my behalf? That kind of misunderstanding is enough for you to lose your permission to propose you know. And if that happens, how am I supposed to trust you with my engagement?” Diluc taunts lightly.

“Bold words coming from a man who was copying my play book to the letter. You normally aren’t that receptive to perspectives after all. A part of you knew that you needed to do what I’d do to make sure you didn’t scare her away and look what happened! You managed to keep her attention on you for the whole dance no matter how much I tried to steer her away from you.” Kaeya sounds slightly snubbed and Diluc laughs to himself at the fact.

“That’s because any woman in existence easily falls for anything you say to them. You’re just a playboy who does whatever he wants and manages to charm anyone you come into existence with. Of course if I want to get their attention I should play the part of a pretty boy charmer who’s more focused on thinking with his genitals than his brain,” he smirks.

“The fact that you’ve admitted that means I’ve effectively proved my point without having to lift a finger. And there was a reason for the way I was behaving last night. I don’t normally antagonise every person I come across - even though that would be fun.”

“Oh? Do tell me the method to your madness.”

Diluc’s sarcastic words are met with a well aimed scroll to the forehead he doesn’t bother to duck away from. It bounces off him harmlessly and finds its way into his lap, unrolling it to reveal some request from a neighbouring viscount who wanted him to attend a party he was hosting.

“Most people being accosted would find an elegant way out of the situation, don’t you think? Coming up with polite excuses is a true marker of being a part of high society after all. If you can’t lie, you can’t make your way through this world, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I suppose you have a point,” he agrees, tossing the scroll back to Kaeya.

“And yet, your dear admirer decided to fight back instead of backing down and running away with her tail between her legs. Is that not most interesting to you?” Kaeya pauses his writing to take notice of Diluc’s reactions.

“So she is spirited. What of it?”

“You really mean to tell me that you would prefer a quiet, demure wife as opposed to one who’s willing to call out your bullshit? Which, might I add, I’ve been doing ever since I was a young lad? And yet I’m not rewarded for my efforts in any way. How disappointing,” the other man sighs, continuing his work at Diluc’s desk.

“You do have a point, and yet your point also makes no sense,” Diluc smirks, wanting to wind his brother up a bit as vengeance for the night prior.

At this Kaeya groans.

“Are you serious? Just because I point out something it inherently loses value for the virtue that I said it, not you?” he complains, already knowing what the redhead’s answer will be.

“Precisely,” Diluc says quickly, not missing the way Kaeya’s face changes.

“Wow Diluc. Very kind of you,” Kaeya pouts, putting aside a stack of his finished work.

“At least try to show the help some more respect. We are working very hard to get you in an optimal position for your future and yet here you are dismissing those efforts,” he whines.

“I don’t recall telling you I was desperate for a partner,” Diluc scoffs.

“Maybe not but I’m sure that it’s much better than drowning yourself in paperwork. You don’t even make social calls anymore. Maybe you should, get yourself out of the house more often and make your intentions to marry even more obvious,” Kaeya suggests, pointing outside.

“It is a lovely day after all.”

“I’d much rather do anything but that,” Diluc grumbles, pulling on his coat and hat anyway. Kaeya’s eyes light up at the sight as he stands from behind the desk.

“Are we going to go for a promenade? Perhaps we’ll meet your suitress. We can ask her how she enjoyed the ball, see how her impression of you has changed at all,” he says excitedly, stretching a little as he uncrumples from Diluc’s chair.

“And why would it have changed?” Diluc asks as Kaeya gets ready as well, the two walking through the estate together.

“Well, maybe you should change. If we want my plan to work, it does hinge on you actually being you no matter how standoffish that is. That little persona you put on at the ball is not going to cut it long term and I fear being that kind to everyone around you will cut your lifespan short and I do not plan on becoming the Duke of this house in any way.”

“So now I’m allowed to be myself? Thank you Lord Alberich for the permission I was unaware I had to obtain,” he responds sarcastically.

To further the extent of his sarcasm Diluc bows lowly to Kaeya, prompting him to lightly tap the back of his head as they wait for their carriages.

“Just be your normal cold self and we’ll see what happens. After all, we’re trying to trap you into a marriage, not her.”

Thankfully for the brothers, the day is as nice as they thought it to be. On the way to the park Kaeya decided it necessary to further his grovelling, picking up his Lady to bring her on their walk together. That left Diluc to keep himself entertained by listening to Kaeya dig himself into deeper holes at the behest of Rin’s underhanded comments and mocks, shaking his head slightly at the strange interaction.

He finds his thoughts wandering to you as the two continue to bicker affectionately, a little lost as to why it was that he found you interesting. It was true that the initial reason was for much the same as Kaeya’s - of course it was strange to see a letter addressed to himself from where you were living. It seemed that most people there understood they had absolutely no chance at getting his attention. After all, they had nothing to offer him. No new land, status, nothing. He essentially had everything he needed at the call of any of his servants. You knew this, and yet you reached out to him.

If it weren’t for Kaeya’s knack of getting himself involved right where Diluc didn’t want him to be, he knows that he would have responded to your correspondence much later. Maybe not even at all. He was incredibly curious to know what kind of mind belonged to the type of person that would dare venture so far out of the typical comfort of societal etiquette and found himself begrudgingly pleased to meet a lady who was both polite and pretty enough to keep his attention for more than just a few fleeting moments.

He observed you carefully before making his arrival at the ball, only appearing when he did when he realised Kaeya might have been getting dangerously close to crossing a line he shouldn’t. From what he did see, Kaeya’s diagnosis of you was correct. You didn’t seem to be cracking under the pressure of being named the Queen’s Diamond which testified to your strong disposition. It’s something he can admire at the least, and for whatever reason it only adds to his intrigue of you.

It made you one of the more promising candidates, annoyed internally that Kaeya hit the nail on the head so cleanly with just a couple minutes of watching you at Diluc’s side before slipping down to mingle with the others. You were worthy of his attention, that much he can deduce but his need to best Kaeya and refusal to allow himself to even fancy the notion of falling in love with someone - especially when there are so many more important things he needs to do - was hindering any fanciful thoughts. Even if dancing with you was so much more fun than he anticipated it to be, and your conversation was much more riveting than anything he would have gotten from the other people who were unfortunately uneducated when trying to talk to him about something of a higher calibre. He never faults them. Just the house they were raised in.

Not only that, but your unique perspective would be welcome. He knew he’d love to hear more about your work, what kind of things you did on a daily basis and how different it must be from him. If he thinks back hard enough, he can remember some habits Kaeya had when he first came to their home he thought were strange that the boy eventually grew out of. Now older, he wonders if those were just simple things that typical households of a lower social strata. Whatever the reason, he feels a flutter of excitement at the prospect of seeing you at another ball Kaeya hosts, jolting out of his thoughts when he hears your name.

“I had no idea you’d be going out today!” Rin says, Kaeya pulling lightly on Diluc’s wrist to bring the two of you closer together.

Now, under the bright light of the sun he can see you as you are, wanting to avert his gaze to ignore the slight tendrils of temptation rising up in his chest. The way you look at him is so different from the hungry or scheming stares that he’s used to, a kinder weight in your eyes.

“I thought it’d be nice to get some air. I had many callers this morning and it was beginning to get a little overwhelming so I decided to leave and get some fresh air,” you laugh.

“Miss [Name] it’d do you well not to say that outside,” the other woman whispers, making sure only your small party hears what she says.

“Coming off as overconfident will only ostracise you from other suitors and even offend some of them. Many of them expect to feel as though you are only looking at them, even if there are half a dozen of them standing around in your drawing room waiting for your attention.”

He sees your face fall a bit at her words as you nod, avoiding meeting both his and Kaeya’s gazes.

“If this is still about last night I’m sorry I pushed you that far,” Kaeya says in an attempt to smooth things over.

“I just find it quite fun to push people’s buttons. Don’t take it too personally. It was not meant to be a slight against you.”

“I’d be much more appreciative if you left me alone, or at least refrained from being such a pest,” you say snidely, not really having any effect on him.

“If you’re so opposed to me then perhaps you’d rather spend some more time with the Duke. Of course there’s the worry that you’d be compromised in being seen alone with him,” Kaeya muses, Diluc giving him a dirty look.

“I was unaware I agreed to be paraded like a show horse,” he hisses into Kaeya’s ear, receiving a reluctant shrug of his shoulders.

“You told me I had complete control over your romantic endeavours. Here’s me exerting such privileges. I suppose since we have to stick together to keep her honour I will just walk a little ways behind you,” Kaeya whispers back.

“You will walk in front of me and that’s that. I refuse to let you eavesdrop without my knowledge.”

To further accentuate his words Diluc moves Kaeya to stand in front of him, making him take a few steps ahead of himself before giving you his attention. You still avert his gaze and he does the same, Kaeya’s sharp reminder to act more like himself keeping him silent. Walking behind him are his own staff and Lady Kholer’s, both groups finding mild amusement in the way he flounders.

“Quite lovely weather this morning,” he starts, trying to figure out what sort of direction he would like to take your talk today.

“Indeed. Last night the clouds seemed quite dark and I thought it would rain. Shockingly enough, it has not.”

Your voice has a slight edge to it, leaving him confused as to wonder what it is that’s forcing you to act in such a manner. As far as he understands, he did nothing to encourage such a gloomy disposition towards him. He treated you fairly and indulged in your conversation pleasantly, finding warmth in it despite having to present himself as Duke Ragnvindr, ever charming and affable instead of Diluc Ragnvindr.

However, the conversation finds itself in a lull, refusing to continue. The two of you stand next to each other awkwardly, trying to find something to continue with when someone clears their throat behind you.

“Pardon if I shall overstep my boundaries but My Lady spoke quite highly of you last night Miss [Name].”

The two of you turn to look at the man who speaks and you give him a slight nod.

“Thank you Sir…?”

“Kholer. That is what everybody calls me, outside of My Lady,” he smiles.

“I am her Valet, should you be curious,” Mr. Kholer continues.

“And why is it that you share the same name then?” you ask, curiosity again besting you.

Diluc finds it endearing, and every bit refreshing as Kaeya suggested it was in the letters he sent to you, and was apparently continuing to send you. He can’t help but find his attention firmly on you, the hand you gave him tightening the slightest bit over his arm as he walks. Unbeknownst to both you and him, the slight fragments of your identity you were showing him indenturing yourself further into his being than he’d care to admit.

“As her family is not from this country, the customs she partakes in may seem quite strange. She decided to adopt my name as a young girl. That is why you’ll see she breaks common etiquette several times over, no matter how many times I try to teach her otherwise. Look at her - she’s ruining her skirts by trying to get closer to that swan,” Mr. Kholer says with an exasperated voice, directing both your attentions.

Diluc looks over as do you, the two of you watching as she does exactly what her Valet said she would. Unsurprisingly, Kaeya follows after her and Diluc can feel your body shaking with barely concealed laughter at the sight of his spotless slacks quickly getting dirtied. A misstep almost sends him to the ground and you burst out loud with laughter, holding onto Diluc steadily.

“For such a smooth dancer I had no idea that mud would be the thing that bests him,” you manage to say between gasps, making Diluc chuckle as well.

“People don’t believe me when I tell them Lord Alberich is not as smooth as he thinks he is. To the untrained eye he is the picture of high society. To me he’s nothing more than the small boy who refused to sleep alone because there were monsters under his bed.”

“Really?” You look back at the young Lord. “A picture of elegance such as that -”

“Conceals with it a fear of arachnids.”

You laugh again at the Duke’s quick wit and he feels a sense of pride at being the one to encourage such pretty sounds to leave your lips. Because he does not plan to marry he finds that there cannot be any harm in indulging in that prettied noise that comes from them.

“To be quite blunt with you I didn’t expect you to be like this,” you say after you’ve caught your breath, still partial to the slight giggle.

“I had always thought of those in the upper mantles of society to be much more dignified and well spoken. Instead, here you are constantly making fun of your brother and letting every emotion flicker across your face.”

His hand goes up to cheek in confusion. Perhaps he wasn’t willing to go through the effort needed to create a perfect veneer needed to fully cloak his true intentions but it still should not be that easy for you to deduce his thoughts. It’s most likely because the thought of you being a threat to him did not come to the forefront of his mind.

“Maybe I should change that,” he says instead, quickly steeling himself against your charms.

“No, no that’s not what I meant at all. I suppose I am being quite presumptuous in assuming we had a more intimate relationship with each other,” you say awkwardly, doing your best to avoid his gaze.

“The letters you send me just seem to welcome me so wholly whereas in person you’re a lot more different. I find myself looking forward to meeting the man who wrote the letters slowly as you become more acquainted with me.”

Diluc frowns, realising that he probably should have read over Kaeya’s letters much closer. Clearly whatever he was saying was making you feel a lot more involved with him when the most he had done so far was sign his name at the bottom. But the fact of the matter was he couldn’t let this fall through. If Kaeya caught wind that it was done purposefully, who knows what lengths he’d go through to get Diluc to cooperate the next time.

Not only that but a sinking feeling in his gut doesn’t make him feel confident in following through with breaking the connection you think you have with him. It permeates his chest with a cold hand, forcing him to swallow some unknown fear with a cup of your smile.

#diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #bridgerton!au #bridgerton!diluc #passing hands

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socialprawn · 1 year

Note

I want to eat Agape with a spoon! Bless you. What is her relationship with her companions?

Thank youuu, she will probably taste kind of bitter though /u\

I received a similar ask emmmm in 2018 and I said I would draw it but I never did. Now I can answer writing wise and use the other ask to draw, fulfilling its purpose (⓿_⓿)

It is LONG so, under cut:

DAO:

Alistair: They end up being together but that is only because he is a very brave dude, otherwise she would not have initiated anything :V She and him are not every much alike but they complement each other a lot, plus they are both very determined souls and goal-oriented so that is a plus for both of them. She makes him more determined and he makes her feel cherished (ಥ _ ಥ)

Morrigan: They are made of the same cloth. However Agape is pro-circle (sceptic for 'herself and people who can prove themselves', but pro-circle nonetheless) and very, very ignorant and inexperienced with the real life world. At first, Morrigan disliked Agape but her interest into the forbidden magics was very punk of Agape, and Morrigan got to appreciate her. She was her pillar when it came to dealing with Mouse. (For those who don't know, Agape is an abomination and failed her Harrowing). Basically, sisters.

Leliana: Agape loved that she was from the distant country of Orlais and she ended up dressing up with everything Leli was describing her; fancy ribbons, flowers, embroidered shoes. She let Leli braid her hair. Leliana found Agape both precious and fierce. Agape always went to her for advice and really enjoyed her brain. She appreciated that despite her melancholy, she was willing to chat about anything with great excitement, and they also prayed together 💪

Wynne: Very rocky.... Wynne didn't like Agape since the times in the Circle. Agape was very much a teacher's pet, and Wynne is not fond of snarky perfectionists. When Agape was found to be an abomination, Wynne tried to slay her, with the reasoning of Alistair taking over (which was basically doom for Ferelden). Agape found her disappointing and a hypocrite, all things considered with her being an 'abomination' also.

Zevran: Agape was kind of scared of Zevran's view on life and killing, but she was always encouraging his flirtations because she lovessss validation, making Alistair uncomfortable. Agape is very awkward with very confident people and they didn't have a lot in common, so Zevran liked to learn more about her over wine in the campfire. They spoke of their deepest corners of their souls with ease, in the end. Separating in the end felt natural but their company together was very important for Agape to feel more human and less of a Warden Mage Killing Machine.

Sten: Agape's crush 😪 Absolute respect for each other that took hard work by both of them... Agape only knew Qunari from legends but she had no idea she would see one in her lifetime, so she was curious. Sten appreciated Agape's determined spirit and no-bullshit attitude, however he agreed with Wynne for Agape to be slain after she explained her reasoning. He absolutely loathes blood magic and spirits. This later only made their bond stronger however, as he truly felt she was a master of determination being able to stop the blight while being tormented by a demon.

Oghren: Nope.

Shale: I think Shale found her adorable. Some moss grew on the crevices of her body and she said "We are matching, you and your flowers, me and my moss. Aren't we positively girly right now?"

DAA

Anders: They started out as how Morrigan and Alistair were in DAO pretty much, only they have way too much in common with their upbringing. They wouldn't shut up about the Circle. "And do you remember when x did this XDDD" Agape was a Commander now and with no demon whispering bullshit, so her confidence was sky-rocket high, and she was much chattier and relaxed. She liked joking a bit more and she received the Alistair sarcasm training. They were OK. Anders found her to be a bit of a stuck-up princess but he was also amused by it. Let it all floww attitude.

Nathaniel: They were more than OK. Agape's other crush 😭 As soon as he mentioned his expedition to Kirkwall she immediately went "I've heard tha the Amells are nobles in Kirkwall!!" They bonded over how obviously snobby they both are. It really helped Agape be comfortable with him despite his assassination attempt, over the fact that she pulled her Duncan-oriented BOSS move to recruit him. She was determined to help him. HOWEVER, she killed her dad 1970's Carrie style, so this doesn't help them get very very friendly. She did apologise in the end but obviously what she did was too harmful. (Especially knowing that she enjoyed it 😬)

Justice: Justice knew Agape was an abomination even though she doesn't use her blood magic or mentions Mouse in DAA. He wasn't distrustful of her as he judged her for her actions, and could truly see her separated from Mouse. When he decided to 'warn' her, she panicked and told him that after she finds someone to replace her, she will attempt to defeat Mouse. Justice evaluated her and believed her, as she has never done anything unjust. It's a different story if she's dangerous.

Velana: I think Agape was too impatient to deal with Velana's hatred towards humans. When she gave her the notebook, Velana immediately snapped at her and Agape threw it on the floor LOL. Short fuse. I think an older, more mature Agape would reflect on her relationship with Velana with great regret.

Sigrun: Sigrun is my favourite DAA companion (❤´艸｀❤) however Agape did not bond with her much as their relationship was very impersonal. Agape gave her a note with her favourite books and Sigrun followed it to the t <:

I haven't finished DAA yet and I know Velana's and Sigrun's personal quests are bugged so maybe these relationships will change...

That's it! There's a tonne more but I'd rather doodle them or write short fics maybe?! Whoever cares about these hehe c:

#i know most wont read but i need this as an archive for myself also!#referential point for my comics #sometimes i forgetttt #i dont like how i WRITE i dont think my stuff comes across but it is ok #we are trying 💪#agape amell

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finniestoncrane · 2 years

Note

So I have mobility issues due to an accident that left me with nerve damage and over the years my legs have been getting worse. Sometimes I get into this feeling of helplessness. Could you maybe do a scenario of Dano!Riddler comforting a long term partner in a similar position?

Dano!Riddler x GN!Reader, word count: 1.1k urgh ok i'm sorry about that situation with the accident, i don't have personal experience with nerve damage issues but i am watching someone close to me coping with something similar and every day is a new learning curve. i apologise if anything i write doesn't suit your exact situation or comes across as too positive or negative but i hope i did your request justice 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi minors DNI!! 🔞cw for nsfw stuff: tiny little injury on poor eddie with some blood

"Patience. It's a virtue."

While Eddie’s words had long been a source of comfort to you, in the time you had known each other, been together, you had become aware that there were times when he could be abrupt. Speak without thinking. Offer solutions when all you wanted was to vent. He tried to stop it, listened to you when you told him what you wanted from him, but he was a problem solver. Puzzles, issues, they were problems to be solved. And quite often, your mood was the perceived problem, and Eddie’s words were his solution.

“Ok, I will patiently wait for you to explain yourself to me before I throw something hard at you.”

“That’s the spirit!” He beamed at you, pleased that you were feeling energetic enough to even pretend that you were willing to push past the low mood to exert yourself physically.

“Eddie.”

His smile faded, worried he had upset you, knowing he probably did. Guilt throbbed in your chest and in your stomach. He was just trying to help.

“Can I sit by you?” The earnest way in which he requested permission to get into the bed with you tugged at your heart, and you patted the space beside you, welcoming him in with a half-smile, unable to stop yourself. He scooted into the bed with you, enclosing you in one of his warm, generous hugs, chin resting on your shoulder as he pressed his body as close to yours as he could. For all that others might be put off by it, Eddie’s desperate need for closeness and physical touch was something that kept you feeling useful. You sank into him, feeling the heat, his soft body against yours, breathing close to your ear, fingers stroking the skin they lay closest to.

“I’m sorry if I don’t always say the right thing. You’ve seen my streams, I can ramble on and on, no one stops me. It’s an echo chamber in there.”

“Yes, I’m familiar.”

Given that your body was struggling with any physical exertion, you had been inside a lot more, almost every evening spent sitting, sometimes in pain, sometimes not, listening to Eddie preach about his big plans. It was admirable, he was admirable. Inspiring. Better off not having to worry about you, or carry you on his back as he tried to change the world. The thought sent you further into the spiral, obviously showing on your face as Eddie grew more concerned, big eyes sparkling as they stared at you from behind his smudged lenses.

“I just want to help you. I know it’s difficult, and I know I can’t truly understand. But I have seen my fair share of the worst the world has to offer, and I just…I want to give you…I want to tell you what helped me. Maybe that way my suffering will have been worth it.”

You were facing away from him, lying on your side, his arms wrapped around you. Warming to his unique brand of ‘help’ you wanted to let him continue speaking, but a question had been circling your brain since he first mentioned patience, and if you didn’t let it out, you’d worry about it forever, letting it gnaw away at what little happiness you could muster.

“You feel the need to be patient with me?”

Edward’s body tensed up, his fingers instinctively pressing into you, clinging to you in case you decided to get up and leave.

“No! Never! I w-would…never…well…maybe, but not like-”

“You’re digging a hole Edward, and it’s horrible enough that I might decide not to help you out of it.”

Straining to hold back tears at the idea that he woke up every morning, trying to renew his love for you, deciding whether your decreasing moods, your new daily struggles, his seemingly continuous inability to help you, was worth it, you pressed your eyes tightly together as he continued. Before he spoke, he took a deep breath, calming himself, trying not to make it any worse for himself or for you. Up until now, you had thought it might be projection, that your own thoughts and worries were manifesting as an anxiety that Eddie might feel the same.

“I feel as though I do have to be patient with you, but patient for the future.”

“For whatever problems are going to keep cropping up?”

“Those don’t factor into my patience. Each day might bring a new challenge, but it also means that I get to extend our time together. I’ve had to learn to be patient with myself, with my plans, with Gotham even. I’ve had to wait, for the right time, for the right ideas, for the right people. For money, for a job, for the opportunity. And for me to be confident enough, to have the right ideals, to pursue my morals. I’ve had to be very patient.”

It was interesting to hear him talk about his work, earnestly discussing it with honesty, not trying to hide it from you in this moment as he usually did. He thought he was shielding you from it, protecting you. But somewhere in his mind, finally breaking through his need to help you, he must have known that trying to tiptoe around you as though you were too delicate for his truths would only serve to make you more concerned that he was worried and stressed about you, about your abilities, about the accident, about how it affected you. And instead, he was, for the first time in a long time, treating you like you were the same you from before. He really did listen to you. Taking his hand in yours, you brought it to your lips to kiss it, absent-mindedly holding it there as he finished his thoughts.

“And you might have to learn to be patient with yourself. You can’t expect things to be the same, or to get better quickly, or at all. And if I’d thought for a moment that we’d be the same people forever, well that would have been boring!”

Eddie loved his rants. You tried to stifle your giggle as he finished his little sermon to you.

“So, to summarise!”

Too much, you were laughing now, and he was holding you close.

“What, something funny?”

“No, no! Please, finish what you were saying.”

“I have to be patient with you, but only because my biggest desire is to spend eternity with you. And that can’t just happen overnight. So I have to wait. And every day, regardless of the difficulties, means I’m one step closer to achieving that goal.”

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danoscigarette · 2 years

Text

Eli Sunday x f!Reader

Chapter I - My Body is a Cage

Summary: A young girl and her religious family move to Little Boston - the only problem is the reader is faithless. With no other choice, her family turns to the likes of a young pastor to rekindle the lord’s flame and penetrate her with the Holy Spirit.

Warnings: misogyny, nothing too heavy right now, religious trauma, eventual smut so 18+

A/N: Just a warning,,,,I haven’t even watched There Will Be Blood yet but I’ve found myself on Eli Sunday TikTok and I had to write this up 🥵 I did look up the plot though, so I spoiled the movie for a bit of smut - Its just who I am. - Also sorry if there are any inaccuracies in this, just overlook them 😌

I have a lot of religious trauma and this may be projected through this fan fiction. I will also update any tags if necessary!

Also I am still writing my Riddler x Reader, this little fic is what I have written between chapters so if you are having some Paul Dano brain rot - check out my longer fic: Riddle Me Witch

AFAB reader using she/her pronouns

Christ, the Lord Saviour was sent to Earth by his Heavenly Father to die for humanity's sins. This is the word that was drummed into you since you left the womb, the word that continues to ring in your ear at church and the word that you will be buried to. Religion to you was a dictation and an oppressor, especially to a young woman like you in a time such as this. 1911, a mere decade past the turn of the century and women were still held tight by religion's iron grip; this continuous mistreatment erupted into a storm within you.

The youngest of 3, your family were simple church going folk; the almost idyllic image of a good Christian household. You however, were the exception. Called a spoiled brat by most, hysterical by others, you internally spat at the floor whenever you heard the word of the 'Lord'. Your disdain for the Christian religion eventually lead you to lose your faith completely. You'd ask questions, something which was a 'no-no' in your household, making blasphemous remarks and even mocked the Bible. Your poor family tried their best to tame you, to teach you, to brain wash you to no avail.

It came as a detriment to them, you were always chaperoned in case you misspoke in public, not that you were stupid enough to do that considering it was a punishable offence. Other than church, your parents had kept you away from formal functions and parties - especially events that included alcohol. If you weren’t already bold, the alcohol certainly brought out your passionate anti-religious speeches.

Another issue your parents had was being unable to marry you off to some good man. All you encounter were either stupid, cowardly or had zero tolerance to your headstrong personality. Things became worse when your father died; he at least used to keep you in check. You'd allow no man to dominate you, no man would dare. Even at both of your sisters wedding, the gentlemen who'd approach you would soon turn on their heel and run head fast away from you - and you liked it this way. You could be independent forever, the master of your own life.

That was until your mother remarried. You kept out of your family's business for the most part so your mother finding love again was the least of your worries; that was the case before discovering your step-father, Joe and his plans. He wishes to move you and your family to a place called Little Boston, California. Apparently, being a young girl in her 20s and unmarried was quite the unfortunate state of events - your family's reputation was at stake. If you had chased away all of the men in your town then god see to it that he will find you a husband in another.

The idea sprung to mind when your step-father was offered a job out there which promised oil. Your mother and him thought it be a great idea to place you in a different, more enclosed environment - to break your spirit down, make you vulnerable and willing to accept Jesus and be a meek woman like a good baptised lady should. Needless to say, you weren't thrilled by the idea. And by that, you threw a fit of rage. You might have been the dark sheep of the family, but in your home town you had the community, you had friends and even a chance at a future for yourself.

You understood completely why they wanted to take you, fuck the oil job, they were punishing you into submission. Your family dragged you kicking and screaming to Little Boston, no amount of comforting words sated your fury. But here you are, sat in your new house, in your new bedroom, sulking into a chair and staring out the window. It was an almost barren land, the sky stretched on for miles and the noise was quiet, too quiet; you enjoyed peace but this, this was eery.

Your eyes hung heavy, bags from lack of sleep and dried tears, you looked a wreck. The population in this god forsaken town was stupidly small and the combined IQ even smaller; no doubt full of religious and uneducated nut jobs considering a school has not yet been built. Your punishment.

The pressure built in your bones, rage rampant in your chest and head full of thoughts that could shame your family for generations. You could feel your whole body shake, how dare they do this to you, cornering you like an animal.

It had been 3 days since you moved in and you hadn't spoken a word to anyone, staying in your room you refused to engage with your oppressors. That was until you saw a group of people approach your house, you look down and notice a young girl and three men; two who were quite obviously identical twins. Staying out of sight, you listen to your step-fathers interaction with them - it was them welcoming your family to the community and that you should pay the "Sunday's" a visit for dinner.

As they walked away, you stayed staring out at the window, catching another glimpse of the party; in doing so, one of the twins had turned back and noticed you. For a split second you considered hiding but instead, you held eye contact with him - an interesting looking fellow dressed all in black and wearing a cross around his neck; another religious nut. Even so, you couldn't help but stare, even when he turned around and carried on walking, you watched him disappear with his family.

"Y/N..." you hear a knock at the door, turning to it, you accept their entrance to see your mother. Despite feeling immense anger, your mother held an air of comfort, especially when you are feeling emotional. It's almost as if the more you feel, the less strong-willed you felt. "How are you doing darlin'?" She comes to sit on the bed close enough to place a hand on your lap. You hesitatingly take it in yours, playing with her fingers lightly.

"Well, I have made my thoughts quite clear" you begin, raising an eyebrow. "But I am surprised at how lovely the weather is" it was the only thing you could really say that was positive. As much as you wanted to keep your wilful persona, you mother occasionally brought out the softer side of you; she had been through a lot as it is and you knew how much of a nuisance you could be towards her.

"Isn't it just lovely?" Your mother had a sweet Texan accent, it was gentle and dainty, much like her as a person. "I would say that would be mighty fine to explore this place, wouldn't you?"

You don't respond at first, calming yourself before answering. Your mother was really trying with you and you wouldn't forgive yourself for shouting at her so soon upon arrival. "Perhaps we can walk about the town once we are all settled"

"Oh Y/N!" Your mother threw her arms around you with a squee, you welcomed her with cautious affection; you really didn't want to explore (not that there was much to explore anyway) but you wanted to meet her part way at least. "Okay but first, we had a little visit from our neighbours, they wish to host a dinner for us as a little welcome! Now waddaya say?"

'No' was the thought that came to mind, you give her an unsure expression. "They could be crooks mama" you doubt it, but anything to put your mother off you'll say.

"Oh don't be silly Y/N, the Sundays are a reputable family they mean no 'arm. The two sons are also unaccounted for" she gives you a cheeky wink, you pull a grimace in return.

"Don't even think about it Ma"

Oh but she did, and she does. Your mother gives you her best puppy dog eyes and holds your hand close to her chest.

"Fine" you exhale out, your mother reaches in for another aggressive hug. You feel slightly defeated, but getting to know the community may help you gage what kind of company you'll be sharing in the future.

"This will be a delightful occasion, but my my Y/N you look like you could do with a week's rest!"

"Will you let me rest for that long?"

"And miss church? I don't think so"

And that was that, you had agreed to a dinner party. You could kick yourself with how quickly you allowed yourself to be convinced to engage in any of your family's shenanigans. But there you were, a Saturday night in June, putting on your forget-me-not blue dress to meet the Sunday family. You hadn't intended on looking particularly nice for this mystery family, however, there was a side of you that wanted to look so good that you'd be intimidating; but then again, you didn't want to look like a common whore either.

"Oh Miss Y/N you look like the prettiest peach in spring" you hear a soft feminine voice chirp. Turning towards the door, you see Vi and Elizabeth, your sisters, poking their head through the frame; grins plastered on their faces.

"Get out of here" you joke, waving your hands to shoo them away.

"Ah come on sis, we're all waiting on ya!" Liz pulls at your arm

"And you will wait even longer" You try to slap Liz's hand away to no avail. Violet and Elizabeth are already married women, Violet being the eldest already had a child on the way. Their husbands Mark and Jason were also (conveniently) offered the job to work with your step-father and decided to move to Little Boston as well.

"Come here, we got a surprise for you" Violet spins you in front of your mirror. "Now please, don't take it off I know what you're like" she wraps a gold chain around your neck, hanging from it was a delicate cross. Your eyes widened.

"Vi! I can't accept this...I don't-"

"Hush now, we are eating with the first family to greet us. We at least have to make a good impression"

You give in, once again; perhaps the new environment had softened you (though you blamed your sleep deprivation) and accepted it. You couldn't lie though, it was a very pretty necklace, whether it was a religious symbol or not.

Walking down the stairs, you could see your mother marvel up at you, she looked like she was on the verge of tears. 'It's not exactly my wedding day' you grumble to yourself. Jason and your step-father Joe had far too much work on their hands to attend any fancy meal, so you it was just you, your sisters, Mark and your mother to attend.

Arriving at the Sunday's house, you are greeted by a young man with a friendly face; this was Paul Sunday. Upon entry he shook all of your hands and you all each gave him a polite smile; except for you - you smiled but it was more civil than it was warm.

"So this is us" Paul spread his arms out to show off his family. "This is my little sister, Mary, my father Abel, my mother Ruth and" finally he waves his hand in his brothers direction. "This is my brother, Eli"

You hold your breath as you look at him, up close he was far more…intense than he was through your window. It astonished you to his likeness of his twin brother except, he was different somehow. More refined perhaps.

'Eli' you repeat in your mind, you notice the same obnoxious cross he wore around his neck. You dismiss all curiosity and enforce those walls again; you may be here for food, but you weren't about to make friends.

"Well hello everyone! This is my family! We have my 3 beautiful daughters, Violet, Elizabeth (and her husband Mark) and Y/N" Your mother reaches out her hand in your direction, you give a little wave with an awkward smile that clearly shows you didn’t want to be there.

Your eyes return to Eli, he is full on staring at you which kind of creeped you out a little. You give him another polite smile before your family take their seats around a table. There were many a pleasant conversation shared amongst the families, you remained silent throughout except for whenever there was a question directed at you. Apparently, Eli was the pastor at the local church, you force yourself not to say anything at this, you just sat there and listened to the drivel about how religion is important blah blah blah.

Neither you or Eli had spoken directly, occasionally exchanging in a few glances here and there. You could feel your palms sweating just thinking about looking at him for longer than a few seconds; for some reason this pipsqueak had made you feel on edge and you couldn't pinpoint why. The dinner continued on, you didn't like to admit it, but the food was actually delicious and far exceeded that of your family's rations for the last few days.

"So tell me Y/N, what's a sweet thang like you doin' unmarried?" Abel asks, you almost chocked on your food. Your mother turns towards you sympathetically and then back to the rest of the party.

"My littl'un has had some trouble over the years..."

"Trouble how?" Paul pushes, the air is thick at this point. You could almost read the room's mind, you look to either Paul or Eli, both of them were also unmarried. You definitely didn't like where this was potentially going.

Before your mother could speak you sit up straight in your seat and pick up your glass of wine. "No man could tame the horse as one could say" you let out a short laugh, the first laugh since you arrived at this cursed place.

"What- what she means to say is that she hasn't found anyone on her level" you mother tried explaining, she at least didn't put you down. "Most of the men where we come from ain't too kind to her fiery nature y'see"

“Nothing wrong with a free spirit” Ruth answered plainly, giving you a sympathetic smile

“There isn’t…but its not a…desirable quality when it comes to finding a suitor” Your mother rubs the back of her neck

“Mama” you disgruntled under your breath, placing a warning hand on her leg. There were a few moments of silence before Abel coughs into his fist.

“I see, I’m sure a bit of Little Boston’s fresh air will do you some good”

“Here here” you mother chimes in, raising a glass before taking a sip of wine. You lean back in your chair in a sulk, the heat of humiliation rising to your face.

"I see you are a lady of faith" Eli finally spoke to you, gesturing to your cross. You blink at him for a moment before realising your necklace.

"I-"

"She is a little hesitant towards religion but she is of the faith, yes" your mother spoke for you once more, panic painfully obvious in her voice.

"Then perhaps she should visit one of my sermons, I do them every Sunday"

“I’ll vouch for my son, he is really very good. I was the pastor for a while before Eli here took over” Abel added

“That sounds like an excellent idea, reinstall those good Christian values we were brought up on” Liz strokes your arm encouragingly, you really wanted to die in that moment.

You purse your lips, really biting your tongue at this point. How you wanted to rant and rave about how ridiculous it all is, but you subsided your anger however, got to keep up with appearances and all that.

"We shall see" were your only words, and they remained your only words for the rest of the evening. Eli personally saw to it a challenge, being a man of God and having so many rely on him sky rocketed his ego; if he could persuade you in any form, he would see it as his greatest achievement.

The rest of the evening was fine, an awkwardness hung in the air but it was manageable. All you wanted to do was escape this place, going somewhere on your own and live as a hermit for the rest of your life. Little Boston was nothing like your home town, the weather may be nice but you honestly couldn't say anything good about it.

#paul dano #danocel #danonation #eli sunday #Eli Sunday x reader #there will be blood #Eli Sunday Paul dano

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jack-kellys · 2 years

Note

The SOC au for the headcanon thing? Bc I will never get enough of soc AND newsies - @roideny

SOC MY BELOVED... im going to nycc and their panel is gonna be, of course, the day i can't go. robbed fr

send me an au (mine or an idea u have) and i'll give you some headcanons!

so if yall dont know i made this post a while ago and the concept is a bit too much of a novel for me to write fr so it just. lives on mentally and brain-rottingly

so i'll give something for everyone!

jack does have a "jordie" in this; he has a brother he lost when he first came to manhattan, and that brother was kid blink <3 in the book kaz is the younger brother and that makes sense for him, but older brother jack will never leave me soul so he's blink's older brother. same stuff happens, the boys are swindled at a young age by an asshole club owner (in this au its snyder is pekka rollins >:)), are left with nothing, blink gets sick and dies :(

manhattan is obv kerch in this (each of NYC's boroughs serve as like. kerch/novi zem/ravka/etc), but manhattan was jack's "santa fe" idea so once he got there and it wasn't what he pictured he had to find a way to swindle his situation into a lifestyle he could fit himself into and rule over enough so so nothing like what happened to him as a kid could ever happen again.

(also, smaller point, but as kaz is adverse to skin/touch bc of jordie's sickness and all the gross bodies on the funeral barge, jack is extremely afraid of water, drowning, all that!)

davey is just so interesting as a character in general bc he is a leader who is not really allowed to lead, like he has the right characteristics to be a leader but jack fills that role. and the same goes for inej!! which is who i modeled davey after.

dont worry everyone! davey is brown.

jack is also brown but you'd have to be STUPID. stupid. not to know that

but yeah so inej's end goal of wanting to be a captain is something i am gonna give to davey, mostly bc he just. he aligns so much with inej like guys if you've read the book just think abt it. but it'd let him be a leader in the exact terms he desires, of the people he wants to trust and lead, and for the exact causes he believes in (which can't be said about jack.)... and also yeahhh bc jack's afraid of water so what davey wants is too much for jack but he's willing to try and conquer it bc he loves <3 him <3 :(

in this davey makes all his gear, which isn't true for inej. i think him making his own tools of destruction, especially since it takes a lot of work, is a form of penance for what he's going to use them for (kill and maim and stab!)

RACETRACK HIGGINS BEST CHARACTER. this is where like race gets his redemption arc bc i never write him

for jesper he like. he Thinks he can talk his way into things but often gets into a shenanigan. but i think race actually Can talk his way into stuff.. but can talk his way into both good stuff And bad stuff bc his vices don't stop at gambling... like i think he's more self-serving than jesper? but more to the detriment of himself than of his team. or if he thinks it could backfire on the team, he does whatever he can to make sure it bites him in the ass worse than anyone else. team player but bad at it!

charlie morris also best character. he has the strongest abilities of anyone in the group and tends to be a bit impulsive about it. he's under a contract to jack's gang, though, so he can't exactly do everything he wants... he also has a rly big heart so if someone's like. do this or someone will get hurt. boy will fold everytime and be so mad abt it LMAO

also i did some rereading recently and heartrender powers are even more hardcore than i remember so MAJOR charlie rights. can literally.. kinda bloodbend is the closest way i can describe it go charlie go!

spot conlon i am still figuring out!!! matthias is such a hard character to begin with so making someone off of him. damn bro.

but i think the sort of honorable warrior spirit that matthias has is very...grecian hero, and spot also harnesses that for me too. like he's the leader of all these boys, he's this symbol, and matthias also serves a symbol. and then matthias learns to become his own man despite the symbol, and that just sounds like the ideal character arc for spot conlon. who is the king of brooklyn when he's taken from the kingdom?

KATHERINNNNE. katherine is literally so cool in this fr, since she's pulitzer's daughter and naturally they got the van eck drama going on. similar backstory, kath also has dyslexia but instead of wylan's music route she slaaaays at mathematics. really interested in trades and building. loves a good bomb.

BUT. very much unlike wylan, she's not the youngest. she's older than all of the crows. like she's like. why are a bunch of 17 year olds the ones hired to fucking. unkidnap me. what the fuck. so kath's like 22 or so, so not as sheltered as wylan but like works on her own and has an apartment but still rides above ketterdam (ahh lower east side manhattan who would've guessed).

and that's everyone for you el! hope everyone enjoyed. go read six of crows by leigh bardugo. and/or watch shadow and bone

#SLAY SIX OF CROWS LETS GOOOOOO #this would #be so cool if i had time #thank u el!!#newsies #newsies aus #mutuals #six of crows au #six of crows #jack kelly #davey jacobs #racetrack higgins #charlie morris #spot conlon #katherine pulitzer #fizz freaks #fizz wants to write

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une-sanz-pluis · 7 months

Text

I have a list of blogs I want to write that are far more relevant to this sideblog but stuff it, I'm going to talk about William Courtenay's will and his burial.

So, in William Courtenay's will, drawn up in the summer of 1395, he asks for burial in Exeter Cathedral in a "worthy manner" in a place that appears fairly prominent within the church. Here's the relevant paragraph (I'm quoting from Joseph Dahmus's translation in his biography of Courtenay):

First, I leave my soul to the omnipotent God, my Creator and Redeemer, submitting myself and it to his mercy of which there is no number. My body which will be corrupted and decay I wish to have buried as quickly as possible in a worthy manner in the nave of the cathedral church of Exeter at the place where there now lie three deans in a row before the great cross, for which occasion no great lords should be invited but only the bishop and those in the vicinity. I wish that the bishop of the place bury me unless my venerable brother Lord Thomas by the grace of God archbishop of York and primate of England, should come in accordance to an earlier agreement between us; in which case I ask my brother, the bishop of Exeter, whoever he is, and all belonging to his church and diocese, that out of reverence for God, his church, and my poor prayers, they show all reverence, honor, and kindness to it.*

Archbishops of Canterbury weren't always buried at Canterbury Cathedral and Exeter Cathedral was where William's parents were buried and where he had been a prebendary so there's nothing really surprising or strange about that.

But on 28 July 1396, three days before his death, William added a codicil to his will (going by Dahmus's translation, it seems to have been a verbal codicil recorded by witnesses), where he said he felt unworthy to be buried inside any great church and asked for burial the churchyard of the collegiate church he had founded at Maidstone the year before and was still being constructed at his death (it was finished under Archbishop Arundel). Here's the relevant bit:

What was written above was and is the true testament of William of pious and worshipful memory, recently while he lived archbishop of Canterbury by the grace of God, now deceased, except in so far as the will is modified by a subsequent codicil, namely that on July 28 just past, the same most reverend father, languishing in his last agony in an inner room of his manor of Maidstone in the diocese of Canterbury, willed and directed that since he did not consider himself worthy, as he said, to be buried in his metropolitan or any cathedral or collegiate church, wished and chose to be buried in the churchyard of the collegiate church of Maidstone at a place pointed out to John Boteler his squire.

In the space of a year, William has gone from wanting to be buried in a prominent place within a cathedral with strong ties to his birth family to feeling worthy only being buried in the churchyard, in the dirt, of his foundation at Maidstone.

It seems to be a major change of mind. Even extreme. I want to know why he changed his mind. I want to know why he felt unworthy of burial that his position and social status. My writer's brain fizzes. There could be a good story here, the story of guilt and shame. A dying man comes face to face with a singular sin that he has committed and decides he is no longer worthy of the prestigious burial he had planned for himself.

We don't know why William changed his mind. The codicil is the only surviving evidence of his change in mind. And, while William was an important figure in Richard II's reign and the history of Lollardy, he wasn't one of the more pivotal or partisan figures** to become the subject of speculation, much less the speculation to focus on his wish to be buried within the churchyard.

The only discussion I've found is in Dahmus, who says:

For as Courtenay lay languishing on his deathbed, what remained of his pride oozed away with his spirit, and he was left feeling too humble to be buried in Exeter cathedral or any other great church.

It is very possible that in the face of his encroaching mortality, suffering from the "agony" of what appears to have been a lengthy illness, William felt himself humbled and penitent. He was approaching his death - this codicil was made only three days before he died - and would've believed that judgement awaited him. A lengthy illness could be interpreted as the sufferer going through Purgatory in life, which would also add to the atmosphere of penance. His choice of burial was probably tied up with this idea of penance.

But we are no closer to knowing what William's sins were and which ones troubled him the most. One might say the pride or arrogance in which he handled matters - but that is our reading of his actions and attitude and not his own. Would he have seen his actions as prideful or as showing obedience to God or the pope?

It would be easy to speculate and come up with various "sins" he committed and is trying to perform penance for. But we know only a small fraction about the private lives of any late medieval person, even the famous ones, and with someone more on the obscure side, like William, it's virtually impossible to know what William was really like or what sins he might have done. In the end, what sins we'd come up would speak more to our own interests, biases and beliefs than William's life.

If I wanted to push a narrative about Lollardy and reformation, I might say that William's sin was that he regretted his attempt to suppress the movement rather than letting the reformation happen. Or I might want to speak to its survival despite William's efforts by depicting William regretting his failure to fully crush Lollardy with a knowing wink to the audience who knows the Reformation is coming.

Or I might want to depict William's regret as completely grounded in Richard II's court, and depending on whether I'm Team Richard or Team Appellants, I might depict him as regretting not supporting Richard against the Appellants or not supporting the Appellants against Richard. Or there might be a depiction of something in the middle, something more moderate.

Or I might see William entirely within the context of his relationship with John of Gaunt. That he regretted their quarrel descended to such lows. I might be a Gaunt fan who thinks William's worst sin was the one of disagreeing with Gaunt and that he should have grovelled in apology. Or I might go full sickos.jpg mode and think that William was regretting his torrid love affair with Gaunt and the nights of wild sex (n.b. I don't actually think this happened).

Or I might be interested less in William as a person or in his own context but see him as an icon of the Catholic Church, and was guilty of one or more faults or crimes attached to that institution, whether they be modern or medieval. He might have been the lecherous priest or guilty of the clerical vice of sodomy. He might have been an usurer and more interested in protecting the church's reputation and rights than doing what was right and just.

My own interest is in William's relationships with his family (obviously, the most important to me is his relationship with Richard Courtenay, his nephew, foster son and probable godson). I'm thinking of an alienation or a quarrel or something.

But none of these routes of speculation tell us what really happened. They only provide us with a narrative that confirms our own biases. Even the things I think are most likely just speak to my own biases. My personal feeling is that the most likely option that has the most evidence behind it is the idea that he regretted failing to squash the Lollard movement completely - he does seem to have cared about that but I don't see this regret as proof of a "see! the Reformation triumphed!" or proof of his own moral and religious failings. How I read William is that he was firm in his convictions and morally upright - he believed Lollardy was heresy, an affront to God, and his failure to root it out weighed heavily upon him. That also reflects my ambivalent relationship with Lollardy - I don't see it as an unqualified good to see William's stance against it as an unqualified evil. Personally, I'm going "oh just leave each other alone".

And personally, if I was writing this as a story, I think it's not a story I'm particularly interested in so I'd probably pick another sin.

Did William really regret failing to stomp out Lollardy? It's impossible to say for sure. There's no evidence.

He does seem to have experienced spiritual anxiety in his final years. Obviously as evidenced by his change of mind about his burial, his feeling of being "unworthy" for burial inside of a great church. But the codicil also added the amendment requesting that his executors pay his debts and the legacies he willed to his household members, but to void the legacies to those outside his household, and what remained of his goods be used to fund his foundation of the Maidstone collegiate church.*** It does seem like his focus had narrowed to the spiritual and the household.

And of course, William appears to have been ill for a long time before his death - his original will was drawn up a year before his death. There was the thought that a long illness could be a sign of God's favour, allowing the sufferer to begin undergo the trials of purgatory before their death, which would further William's sense of spiritual anxiety and penitence. The unworthy burial might also be itself a form of penance, letting his body be food for worms rather than embalmed and placed inside a prominent position in a great church.

Some of it might just be good old Catholic guilt. There doesn't have to be one major sin but a series of minor infractions. Augustine of Hippo bewailed committing the sin of taking a pear from a tree as a teenager. Everything was potentially a sin. Every thought, every word, every deed, every dream. For William, it might have been a series of tiny infractions rather than one major one.

----

Dahmus notes it was "improbable" that his executors intended to bury him in the churchyard, "for it would have been most exceptional to have buried any fourteenth-century bishop outside a church". I wonder if William knew it, if his request was cynically made knowing he wouldn't have been buried in the churchyard. Yet the wording seems genuinely given.

His request wasn't fulfilled. A memorial brass for William was (or is?) found in the Maidstone collegiate church and an effigy-tomb was found in the Trinity Chapel at Canterbury Cathedral. Until the late 19th century, debate raged over whether William was buried at Maidstone or Canterbury. In 1794, the slab at Maidstone was raised and some bones were found and some believed this was to be Courtenay, but there was no episcopal ring or crozier, and the teeth were considered too perfect to belong to a man as old as William had been. The Canterbury Chapter Records were later checked by M. Beazeley and the register recorded that Richard II had delivered William's body to be buried in Canterbury. Beazeley considered William's burial in Canterbury Cathedral was Richard making amends for the speedy election of the new archbishop (necessary for his marriage to Isabelle de Valois) after William's death.

* Some commentary: 1. William, I bet you loved transi tombs. 2. The difference between his request to be buried "as quickly as possible" compared to John of Gaunt's request for a period of 40 days before burial. 3. The agreement between William and the "Lord Thomas" archbishop of York who, of course, was Archbishop Arundel and Courtenay's successor (they do appear to have been friendly). 4. The request that no great lords be invited - none for John of Gaunt, none for Richard II etc etc.

** Of the great events in Richard's reign, William doesn't appear to have played a major role in the Peasants Revolt or the Appellant Crisis, and he had died before Richard's alleged tyranny and deposition. He played a greater role in church affairs and while he seems to have attempted to curb Lollardy, his efforts never reached the extremes they did under his successor, Archbishop Arundel.

*** We don't know to what extent this was honoured; the church was completed by Arundel and some legacies outside of his household appear to have been paid out - his single largest bequest was to Christ Church and this was fulfilled, while his nephew, Richard Courtenay, appears to have gotten at least some of the items willed to him (whether Richard was part of William's household is unknown, he seems to have been fostered by William who refers to him as his "dearest child and foster son").

#william courtenay archbishop of canterbury #blog #graves and tombs

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procrastinatorproject · 1 year

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“ where do you think you’re going? ” combined with Emil, if you should feel the need to write 😁

Thank you so much for the prompt! (Based on This Post)

So... This isn't technically the fill for this prompt 🙈 This is eventually going to be the middle chapter of three (?), and it's the only one that doesn't have the line in it 😅

But it's in the same spirit and it's done, and I figured you'd probably enjoy it regardless. So here goes.

Soji

“And here I thought positronic language comprehension was supposed to be superior to that of organic brains.”

Soji groaned and clasped a hand over her eyes. Unfortunately, that did nothing to drown out the acerbic voice coming from somewhere above.

“Tell me, which parts of the phrase ‘strict bed rest’ did you find difficult to parse? I’d be happy to elaborate on anything that might have been unclear.”

“I’m fine!” Soji balled her hand into a fist and pounded it against the metal floor in frustration. Normally, this would have left a dent that Steward or Ian would have had to flatten out again. Right now, though, her feeble muscles barely offered enough strength to set the floor plates vibrating; nauseating ripples that seemed to amplify all along her back, where her sweaty singlet was pressed against the cold metal.

It also sent a sharp shock of mechanical pain up her arm right into her head. Soji groaned again.

She could practically feel the exasperated look Emil was casting down on her, although she knew better than to open her eyes.

The EMH sighed. “Of course you are.” The rustle of his simulated clothes pounded against her eardrums as he crouched down next to her. “Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”

When Emil’s fingers touched the skin on Soji’s bare arm, the charge from the forcefields bounding his holomatrix crackled along her clammy skin and set her nerve-endings ablaze. She jerked away with a shout and curled in on herself.

“Shit, I’m so sorry! Ian said this might happen. Are you alright?” All hints of sarcasm were gone from the EMH’s voice, and Soji could tell he was holding himself very still behind her.

After a long moment of breathing through the tingly aftershocks, she managed to nod. “I’m fine. Just leave me alone!”

“I’m not gonna do that.” Emil’s reply was calm, but he didn’t sound like he’d be willing to argue on this. There was the swish and rustle of more fabric, and then Soji’s favourite blanket was draped over her curled up body. “Here, that should help.”

This time, when Emil put a gentle hand on her shoulder, the blanket seemed to insulate her from the effects of his touch.

“Better?”

Soji didn’t feel like replying. She just wanted to be left alone. To get out of bed and get back to her life. She was a synth, not some feeble little girl! If she was going to be settled with the Burden of Singularity, as Picard liked to call it, at least it should save her from feeling as useless and wretched as this!

She tried to articulate some of this frustration to Emil, who was still waiting for an answer. What came out, however, was a petulant: “You didn’t make Agnes stay in bed.” So much for not being a little girl…

Emil’s fingers twitched minutely. Barely more than an unconscious tremor, but even through the blanket, her over-sensitive nerves registered the movement like a seismograph. “I assure you, Dr Jurati is resting”, he said. “And you should be —”

Soji moved so fast that by the time her body remembered it was too dizzy to get up, she was already on her knees, squaring off against the EMH. “She’s on the bridge talking to Rios right now! I can hear them laughing from here! You would never tell her to just lie in bed and stare at the bulkheads! Oh no, your precious Doctor Jurati needs to have her every need catered to. But who cares if the synth girl is crawling out of her skin? That skin is easily replaceable, right?”

She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. She liked Agnes! And Emil. But she just felt so trapped and like her bones were on fire and her brain was fractured into a thousand pieces that were all running at different speeds but all of them way too fast and —

The edges of her vision became unfocused and her legs started to tremble from the effort of holding her up.

Emil, who had been looking at her with an unreadable expression, moved so quickly that even her senses had difficulty keeping track. He managed to get the blanket between them, just as Soji pitched forwards. Her head collided with his holographic chest with a thump, muffled by the thick fabric.

“Fuck.” She wasn’t sure the swear came out quite right, her speech centres seemed to have difficulty connecting to her facial muscles.

“Quite.” Emil wrapped the blanket around Soji’s back and left his hands resting on her shoulders, steadying her.

For a moment, they sat in silence, only interrupted by Soji’s laboured breathing.

Finally, Emil said: “I’m very sorry I didn’t realize how much you were struggling.” Even though he had neither vocal chords nor lungs, Soji could feel the EMH’s warm voice vibrate slightly in his holographic chest.

She made a frustrated noise, trying to find the words to explain. “I’m not. I mean… I don’t know. I’m just…”

“You’re just ill for the first time in your life and have no experience to help you through it. That’s bound to take a toll on anyone, no matter how capable.” The deep sympathy in Emil’s voice made Soji’s eyes sting and she pressed her face more firmly into the soft blanket.

“I guess it’s… I remember having a bad chest cold at college, but…” Her voice trailed off and she had to swallow hard.

“… but that wasn’t real,” Emil finished for her. He hesitated briefly, then he added in a very neutral tone: “I doubt Bruce Maddox, despite his professed genius, had any idea how to simulate the sensations of a virus attacking the semi-synthetic nervous system of a sentient android.”

Soji scoffed, but the bitter taste that usually accompanied reminiscing about the past her maker had fabricated for her was eased somewhat by the steadying weight of Emil’s hands on her shoulders.

“You were right,” he said gently. “I shouldn’t have left you alone with this. I really am sorry.”

Two hot tears rolled down Soji’s cheeks, leaving raw skin tingling in their wake, but she managed a nod.

“Tell you what.” Emil moved his hands to Soji’s upper arms so he could support her as leaned back a bit to look her in the eye. “It’s just past noon on Nepenthe. Why don’t we ask Enoch to establish a subspace link to the Troi-Rikers? I’m sure Kestra would love to hear all about your most recent discovery about yourself.”

Despite the jumble of emotions swirling in her brain, Soji couldn’t help but smile a little. “She’ll get a kick out of this.” Her friend was always eager to help Soji explore her strange mix of synthetic and organic experiences. Soji could only imagine Kestra’s delight at discovering Soji had caught what amounted to the synth-flu.

Emil smiled back at her, but then his face switched back into full Doctor Mode. “Fortunately, La Sirena is equipped with sophisticated holographic projectors, so you won’t have any trouble taking Kestra’s call from the comfort of your bed.” He leaned down a little closer. “Where you will stay for at least the next 24 hours.”

Soji rolled her eyes (regretting it instantly, as it sent a shock through her brain), but it was more out of mild annoyance now, no longer the utter desperation she had felt before. “Yes, fine.”

“Good.” Emil leaned back again. “In return, I promise I’ll make sure you have as much company and distraction as you need to speed along your recovery without overwhelming your tender nervous system. Deal?”

Soji smiled again. “Deal.”

Emil nodded, holding her gaze for another moment. Then, he sprung into action, rearranging the blanket so he could help Soji get up from the floor.

It took a couple of minutes of uncoordinated stumbling and barely-avoided skin-to-forcefield contact, but finally Soji was back under the covers, propped up by pillows piled high against the headboard, her fluffy blanket slung around her shoulders.

As she watched Emil get a cup of hot tea from her little replicator, she struggled with the many conflicting emotions that were still making her muscles itch. When he came back over and carefully set the cup down on the bedside table, she finally managed to blurt out: “I’m sorry, too.”

Emil looked up at her in surprise.

Soji’s fingers twisted into the thick blankets in her lap, but she forced herself not to look down. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

The EMH put his hands into the pockets of his coat and tilted his head. “Trust me, I have been accused of much worse than medical favouritism and neglect.”

Soji could feel heat rising in her cheeks, but before she could get too embarrassed, Emil added: “But I do appreciate the apology, thank you.”

Soji nodded, unsure she trusted her voice right now, and grabbed the cup off the bedside table to take a hurried sip.

“Right.” Emil straightened and bounced a little on the balls of his feet. “I’ll send Enoch over right away to set up that comm link, and I’ll look in on you in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Okay.” Soji took another sip, keeping her eyes on the steam rising from the tea.

Emil didn’t seem to notice her embarrassment, though. His eyes were directed towards the front of the ship, in the direction of Rios’s cabin. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s high time I informed the captain that while I appreciate his new-found enthusiasm for the practice where it concerns Dr Jurati, he, too, is sorely mistaken about the meaning of ‘bed rest’.”

Soji choked on her tea as the EMH shimmered away with a hint of a mischievous grin.

#thanks for the prompt!#i hope there will be more soon #but have this for now :D #star trek picard #star trek picard fanfiction #soji asha #emil (emh)#whump #sick fic #sort of #soji is not having a great time #prompt fill #if anybody else wants to send in a prompt: go for it!#no guarantees 😅#but i seem to be in a writing mood #lili's writing adventures #@jazzfic

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