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seleneprince · 3 months

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Magische Linten (Magic Ribbons)

Contains: Dutch expressions (as a fandom, we forgot too fast that Kerch is a fantasy Dutch and that Kaz used dutch words in the books, like "ja". We should remember it). I used the translator for this, so if there are any mistakes, please let me know. Mentions of the Wandering Isle's culture about Grisha, which includes blood and questionable medical practices. Use some ocs. Saskia is a real character in the books, if you read them, you know who she is. I simply created an oc based on her.

(This follows the plot of the first book, Six of Crows, and not the show Shadow and Bone, althought it will contain references to it because I loved it too)

"There's no way"

"Seriously, I'm not lying"

"It cannot be true"

"Yes, it is. I can vanish anything in my hands and make it appear again somewhere else"

"¿Are you a Grisha?"

"Natuurlijk niet!* It's only a magic trick. I learnt it by watching one of those men with colorful clothes in the street. I think it's called 'illusionism' or something like that"

Saskia frowned. She knew what men he was referring to, but she never heard that word before. It sounded suspicious in her ears.

"¿Aren't what Grisha do basically magic tricks too?"

"Well, technically yes, but it's not the same. Anyone can do this if they learn and practice enough, but not everyone can do what a Grisha can, no matter how much they learn"

"I'm not sure. That trick you said sounded very Grisha-like to me"

"Fine! If you don't believe me, let me show you. I swear it has nothing to do with Grisha."

Saskia didn't quite buy it. It wasn't like she was worried that the boy would hurt her, but what he said sounded very weird. Where she came from, it was said that Grisha were dangerous and the only good thing they had was their blood, which could cure sickness. She remembered briefly when a doctor took some blood out of her when she had fever, and she cried the whole process. She couldn't understand how Grisha were capable of going through that so often, and voluntarily at that. They weren't normal.

But if he said he wasn't a Grisha, Saskia chose to believe him. Her "father" told her these boys were innocent, simple-minded. Her new friend had no reason to lie.

"Oké*, but make it fast. And if you hurt me, I'll hit you"

"I barely have to touch you, I just need something small. A pencil, or a button"

While they looked around them, Saskia brushed some strands from her eyes. She hated how her "mother" styled her hair, with ridiculous ties and curls. That's when she felt one of the ribbons she wore, and had an idea.

"Here", she took one of them off and gave it to him, "Use this"

He blinked at her, surprised.

"¿Are you sure? I don't-"

"You say you can make it appear again, ja? Besides, I have many more like this, so I don't mind if you lose this one"

He stared down at the red ribbon in his hand, his cheeks blushing in a expression akin to flusterment. Like he was holding 100 kruge in his palm instead of a simple piece of silk. When his eyes met Saskia's again, there was no sign of that expression. She was silently impressed with his quick facial control.

"Oké, now let us start!"

He smiled with confidence, and Saskia couldn't help but smile in return at his enthusiasm.

The boy proceeded to turn the ribbon around in his hands, twisting it with before her eyes, until suddenly...it dissapeared. Just like that, she was seeing it clearly one moment and the next she didn't anymore. No noise or twitch that signaled where it went. Saskia's mouth was wide open.

"What the-how did you do that?! You had it in your hand, I was seeing it! How is this possible? It just...vanished"

Instead of answering, the boy chuckled at her. He extended his hands towards her wrist, slowly, and stopped right where his fingers brushed her pulse point. He became still for a moment, worrying Saskia a bit with his lack of movement. Then, with a graceful twist of his hand, he started to move his hand away, and Saskia felt something soft sliding down her wrist.

It was the red ribbon.

She couldn't hide her fascination.

"Dat is geweldig!* How did you do it? I didn't feel it getting under my sleeve, nor I noticed it was there. How can it be?", she narrowed her eyes in suspicion at him, "¿Are you sure you're not a Grisha?"

When her eyes focused on him, she saw something weird. His cheeks were blushing, which didn't make sense because it wasn't that cold in the room. They had been mostly near the functioning chimney since they arrived. ¿Was he getting sick?

"Hey, ¿are you alright? Your face is getting red"

"Ah, uhm, I...it's nothing. I was just nervous that...it didn't work out. Yup, that's it", the boy shook his head, like he just broke out of a trance, and scratched his neck as he turned his eyes away. "And ja, I'm sure I'm not a Grisha. Like I said, anyone can do this"

"Oh, oké then", she had the feeling there was something else, but she got distracted quickly. "Well, I can't do it, and I'm very smart"

He chuckled softly.

"It has nothing to do if you're smart or not. You can't do it because you never practiced. If you tried, I bet you'll do it better than me", his cheeks reddened again, and Saskia thought he looked very cute like that, "You're the most talented person I know. You'll be probably good at everything."

"Well, I wouldn't say that either," now it was her turn to blush, "I read a lot of books, and my brot-my parents teach me many things, so that's why I know some stuff."

There was a pause between them, a comfortable silence that felt unusual in them. Whenever they were together, they talked nonstop and they didn't know how to stay still. Which was good for Saskia, because she couldn't stand silences. They made her nervous and uneasy, and she couldn't afford that. Not with him.

"Can I tell you something, Saskia?"

His voice sounded low out of sudden, and his eyes were fixed on her.

"Natuurlijk*, why do you ask?"

"It's just...I really like being with you and I don't want to make you bother you."

"I don't think you can do anything to bother me, dummy. Go on, what is it?"

He looked at her straight in her eyes, smiling shyly, but with a firm determination sparkling in his orbs.

"You're beau-"

The door was slammed open, showing Saskia's "father" and another boy with him.

"Here you are, ducklings", the man's deep voice captured the children's attention, "I'm sorry, boy, we lost track of time. Saskia, say goodbye to your friend, they're leaving."

"But pappa*, we still haven't-" she stopped herself when the man gave her a significant look. She bit her lip and nodded. "Oké"

They stood up, with Saskia brushing off her skirt and the boy fixing up his jacket. They walked side by side towards the exit, with Saskia's father and the older boy in front of them.

Just when the brothers were about to leave, her friend turned back to her abruptly.

"Wait! Saskia, take your ribbon. I forgot I had it", he extended his hand towards her, with the red silk still in his fingers, but the girl shook her head.

"Don't bother, you can keep it", she pushed his hand back gently. "It's a gift."

He stared at her perplexed.

"What are you saying? Are you sure?"

"Ja. Consider it a thanks for showing me that amazing trick. I loved it", she showed him a genuine smile, and he looked away again. "And if your hairs grows, you can use it to tie it back."

He scoffed playfully, glancing back at her with another smile.

"Yeah, sure, keep dreaming. No way I'm wearing that", his face softened. "See you tomorrow, I guess."

Something warm twisted in Saskia's chest. She pushed it back where it came from.

"Ja, see you tomorrow. And I hope you bring some new tricks. Now I want to see more of them."

He chuckled. Saskia was starting to find the sound very pleasant. She thought she wouldn't mind hearing it more often, and a sense of dread assaulted her. She shouldn't be having these thoughts.

"Ik beloof het*"

And after that exchange, they bid their goodbyes, both still smiling as the distance between them grew. She felt the firm hand of her "vader*" squeezing her shoulder almost painfully. A silent reminder.

A warning.

"Didn't you hear? The Black Tips are dust now. That idioot Geels emptied the vaults to get on the Dregs' bad side, and the Brekker demon set them all packing with their tails between the legs."

"Ja, they even came up with a song for it. 'The Durstraat is on fire and the Dregs don't have no water'. I heard it when I passed by their nest."

"Cocky klootzakken*. But I guess we can thank them for riding us from those rats. One less headache to deal with."

Those were the first sentences that Diantha heard as soon as she set a foot in the Emerald Palace. She twirled her way through the gaming tables towards the bar, expertly avoiding the waving hands and listening their talks about the latest news. The fall to disgrace of the Black Tips.

It didn't catch her by surprise at all. She already heard what happened on her way to the Palace, and haven't she been busy with her last minute assignment at First Harbor, she would've likely gone to witness the whole mess in front row from one of the rooftops. However, she didn't feel dissapointed for having missed it, considering the interesting events that transcurred in First Harbor and that she got to see by herself.

In the bar counter, she found Jesse rearranging some bottles and greeting her with a nod.

"Welcome back, Krett. I take it that it was a successful inspection."

"What makes you think that?"

"Your clothes are still intact and you don't have an ounce of dirt on your face, so I assume there were no fights or accidents. Plus, you have that spark in your eyes from when you got your hands on something valuable and can't wait to show it."

She grinned. She didn't expect less from the Emerald Palace's head bartender. After so many years working behind the counter, Jesse learnt to be particularly observant with people, which allowed him to charm them into a false sense of trust as he filled their cups and pried secrets from their loose mouths. Also, he had known Diantha since she was a kid, freshly initiated into the Dime Lions after her brother, so it wasn't rare he could read her so easily.

"Well, the boss may feel conflicted with the news, but I think it'll distract him enough from the last fiasco."

"I hope so. I'm afraid he's going to be in a sour mood for the following hours, and it'll be nices to keep his attention away from us."

"Is he really that pissed about the Black Tips?"

"I guess it has more to do with the Brekker boy twerfing his plans once again rather than loosing the Black Tips."

Diantha felt her body tense, just like everytime someone mentioned him.

Kaz Brekker, the Dregs' lieutenant, and Pekka Rollins' biggest headache. His long story of crimes and blood stained hands, all in the name of profit, gave him the nickname Dirtyhands. Because there was no line he wasn't willing to cross to get what he wanted. People whispered his name in fear and covered at the sound of his lethal cane tapping the ground as he walked. Not even the Dime Lions were immune to his terrifying presence, but they knew better than to show it when Rollins was near.

She would never admit it, but Diantha was also a bit intimidated by him. Their paths had crossed only a handful times, and they only exchanged few words in them, but something in his eyes when she looked at him made her feel...very uneasy. Like he was about to lunge at her at any moment, but she didn't know when. She assumed it was due to her being a Dime Lion. They were enemies, it made sense he despised her, just like he did with her fellow gang members, surely.

She shook her head to expel any thoughts about him. It wasn't the time to divagate about whether the Bastard of the Barrel had personal reasons to hate her or not. Plus, trying to figure out the mind of someone like him would only drain her own sanity in the process.

Right now, she had crucial information to report to her already angry boss, and Saints knew how he could get if she made him wait.

Kaz Brekker had no power over her, but Pekka Rollins very much did and would gladly use it. And that was enough to push Dirtyhands out of her head at once.

"Really? You think it's wise leaving it like that, with the Black Tips still fuming and crawling around?"

"It's the right course of action. By the way, go call Jesper and Muzzen. I want them here at sunrise. And have Wylan wait for me at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

"Wylan? If you say the job is so important..."

"Just do it."

Inej crossed her arms, glaring at him with the same sharpness as her precious knives. He was sure she was considering murdering him right there.

"Are you going to give me any details, Kaz?"

"Once we're all reunited", he put on a clean shirt and buttoned it up as he walked to his dresser. "This isn't an order, Inej. It's another job, which you're free to accept or deny."

He finished with the buttons, throwing on next a grey vest with little pockets sewn discreetly underneath, perfect to keep tools he didn't want others to find out. Just when Inej opened her mouth, probably to ask something again, someone knocked at the door.

"Kom binnen*" he answered, barely looking at who entered.

It was Rotty, with a solemn expression that clashed vastly from his previous cheeriness.

"Hallo*, sir. We just received news from the Shu's cargment of gold that arrived this morning", he spoke in a rush. "The Merchant Council plan on keeping the ship docked at the port, under the stadswacht's surveillance, until further notice."

"Well, it was to be expected. That stunt Shu Han pulled made their plans a bit more complicated for the future. They'll refrain from touching the gold until they're completely sure of it", he hummed. "But why are you telling me this? That cargment of Shu gold isn't a priority now."

"Sir", Rotty stuttered, avoiding Kaz's dark eyes. "Pekka Rollins knows"

The temperature in the room went down drastically. Kaz freezed in the spot, under Inej's attentive gaze.

"And...?"

He had a feeling of where this was going. Rotty never stuttered before when he mentioned Rollins to him, unless...

"He sent one of the Krett siblings to cover First Harbor, sir."

There it was.

He felt that familiar fire at his stomach, like everytime he heard that name. He could feel the burning climb up his throat, setting his insides on an inferno.

He let out a raspy, humourless chuckle. He should have expected it. Pekka Rollins wouldn't have turn away from such a delicious, tempting treasure, not when he was still trying to plant his roots inside the Merchant Council's core. And of course, he would have sent his favourite puppet to follow the whole operation.

He knew one of the Kretts was out of the Barrel at the moment, so that only left one for the job. Her.

"Thank you for telling me, Rotty. This definitely supposes a change in our plans", he pulled out a new set of gloves and fastened the buttons around his wrists, rather hastly. "We should reconsider First Harbor's importance for us. You can leave now."

Rotty nodded and left the room almost running. Inej eyes him warily. She knew too what that information meant to him.

"What do you have in mind now, Kaz?"

He didn't answer inmediately. His gloved fingers went inside the drawer again, brushing against a worn out piece of red silk he kept hidden in there, only for his eyes to see. A trinklet from a painful dream, a reminder of what his goals were.

He closed it again with a loud thump, before walking out of the room without a single word, leaving the ribbon hidden underneath the documents once again.

(One day, she'll be hidden too, where only he could see her and grasp her)

A/N: Inspired by my discussions with @stayconnecteed about her awesome aus for six of crows and my own silly headcanons. She also happens to be the one who came up with that beautiful cover, so all credit to her. And @mrsmiroir, because we both wanted to see more of Saskia so my mind created this.

TRANSLATIONS:

-Natuurlijk niet!*: Of course not!

-Dat is geweldig!*: This is amazing!

-Ja*: Yes

-Oké*: Allright, okay

-Natuurlijk*: Of course

-Vader/Pappa*: Father

-Ik beloof het*: I promise

-Idioot*: I think this one is pretty obvious

-Klootzakkenn*: Assholes

-Kom binnen*: Come in

-Hallo*: Good evening

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19burstraat · 5 months

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anyone want to hear my six of crows x jane austen's emma au. yes of course you do don't be silly. the only person allowed to be silly is me as I descend into madness in the course of trying to cast this. (if you think 'I've heard this before' yes I've posted abt it before tho I think it was on my main)

kaz is emma, a bored, overintelligent rich bitch stuck in a country house with a bunch of shit idiot neighbours and almost no one to entertain or match him. fucking useless dad per haskell / mr woodhouse is a weaksauce hypochrondriac, and jordie / isabella has gone and got married and ditched kaz, the bastard. the only consolation is their neighbour inej / mr knightley, who is rich, sensible, popular, and elegible as hell... glory be, an intellectual equal for kaz!

in order to be less bored, kaz takes on a protege, mysterious randomer and natural son wylan / harriet smith, who kaz decides to mould in his own image and make a good match for. wylan is in love with gentleman farmer jesper / robert martin, but kaz is a snob and tries to push him towards local vicar kuwei / mr elton (I KNOW. I'M SORRY KUWEI), but that all goes tits up bc turns out kaz is a fucking terrible matchmaker, who'd've known.

meanwhile, unassuming and a little cold, but locally well-liked matthias / jane fairfax has arrived back in the village, and kaz busily commences hating on him because he's another accomplished young man and he makes him feel inadequate. hot on his heels comes the mysterious nina / frank churchill (NINA I'M SO SORRY I FUCKING HATE FRANK BUT THIS IS WHAT WORKS FOR THE COUPLES YOU CAN BE A NICE FRANK CHURCHILL ): ), who kaz is kind of fascinated by and enjoys sparring with, and hence kind of misses the really obvious signs that nina and matthias are secretly engaged, even though inej, ever thief of secrets, has lowkey noticed something's up, like matthias getting mysterious gifts from someone. kaz ends up being convinced that possibly it's inej that's pursuing matthias, which nina encourages because it helps her cover, and kaz kinda panics.

everyone has petty village drama which culiminates when kaz sneers at pekka rollins / miss bates (LISTEN. LI actually you don't need to listen bc I laughed out loud when I thought of this comparison but hear me out, if you just think of it as the equivalent of the church of barter scene except instead of 'I buried him' it's 'when have you ever stopped at three?' it kind of works. sorry to miss bates tho who is still kinda my fave austen character) at box hill, which culminates in inej going BOY WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM and kaz is like wow she kind of has a point should I be a better person :/

uhh what else even happens. there's a ball after nina massively encourages one, inej saves wylan from being partnerless and later dances with kaz (think of the gloveless dance scene from the 2020 adaptation? yeah? yeahh??). the regency gender conventions here are getting so messed up lmao, never mind. in emma harriet fancies herself in love with mr knightley and emma is forced to realise that she likes him, so let's say that wylan pretends to be after inej, in order to strong arm kaz into realising that he's wanted to marry inej this entire time. wylan's dad turns out to be minted (I'm stretching the book here to make it work w SOC but never mind) but that's after kaz has admitted he fucked up and sent wylan off to marry gentleman farmer jesper, yaaay. nina's relatives who are stopping her from marrying matthias die and hence there's a massive revelation with 'oh they were engaged this whole time lol', kaz is PISSED bc he didn't clock it. uh. everyone gets married and now kaz can escape the shit village and actually go places. the end.

#this would read less batshit if I could draw bc I would just DRAW it #unfortunately I cannot. LOOK AT MY TEXTPOST BOY #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #soc au #six of crows au #helnik #wesper #crooked kingdom #yk the lads would kind of eat those regency clothes tho. kaz doesn't dress THAT differently honestly except for those damn breeches fjd

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roses-and-riots · 4 months

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when the devil calls

a Kanej, Fake Dating Sci-Fi AU | rated: E | wc: 5.8k, chapter: 1/? | tags: dirty cop!Kaz, corruption + murder, revenge, fake dating

Kaz Brekker, member of the Stadwatch on Ketterdam Station, would do anything that it took to get ahead. After all, that was why he was a fucking cop.

But when a new case lands on his lap, all of his carefully-laid plans are blown up in his face. Pekka Rollins, crime boss and the target of Kaz’s ire, shows up dead––someone got to him before he could. And then there’s the entanglement that comes with the case. Inej Ghafa went from belonging to The Menagerie to Rollins, but even with his death she knows she’s not free. So in exchange for her protection, she offers to give information to Kaz… under the guise of them pretending to be in a relationship.

It’s a terrible idea that Kaz can’t bring himself to say no to. Especially as pretending blurs into reality and he finds that he has a new compass to guide his violent revenge.

read on ao3

#kanej #kanej fic #six of crows #soc fic #six of crows au #inej ghafa #kanejedit #kaz brekker #tag: something i made #fic: when the devil calls

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demonictumble · 19 days

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would i be friends with the crows?

kaz brekkar, 2/10 possibility of us being friends. i’d hate his attitude and i could not get close to him. on paper he’s a great complex character but i don’t vibe with that in rl. hes also really secretive and i could not like that. the points are added bc id have fun with nina making fun of hair and also he’d totally bring chaos into my life with his schemes (that would get annoying easily tho)

inej ghafa, 8/10 possibility of us being friends. i love have girl friends and she would totally be so great. also id totally rope her into doing my hair bc she seems to know how to braid and i would enjoy that. i dock two points bc i would be like him??? about kaz and we would both have a small fight about her low standards bc im still warming up to that man. and also bc i would tire of her sneaking up on me all the time.

nina zenik, 9.5/10 possibility of us being friends. nina seems like such a girls girl and i love her for that. i love girls girls and also she’s a queer icon like me fr. and idk we’re kinda similar and i like people im similar too. i’d love to team up with her on stuff like laser tag and we’d have a blast making fun of kaz together. .5 points deducted bc i feel she’s competitive if we ever played a board game and i too am competitive.

matthias hevlar, 4/10 possibility of us being friends. okay we’d vibe in certain situations when we both exchange glances and are like “stupid dumbassez, love them tho” . but there are bits that kinda make me shy away from being friends with him. the religiousness, like if it was like how it was in the beginning of the duology, would definitely be a sign to not associate with him bc i hage had too situations where people use religion as an excuse for being hateful. also he feels like he’s too much of a rule-follower when he’s not with nina. like c’mon, let’s go! also he seems sporty and i don’t really like sporty people which is an internal bias of mine that i’m working on okay.

jesper fahey, 7/10 possibility of us being friends. he’s so fun!! but also i hate guns so idk we’d butt heads over that sometimes but prolly not a lot. also gambling habits, i hate seeing people being self-destructive and it would make me sad to see that bc id try to help but id get frustrated quickly. he has a great personality tho i would be kinda weirded out by the flirting at first but he’d either tone it down or id return the energy. the points deducted are mainly bc of his gambling habits that he’ll get rid of but if i was there during it that’s why.

wylan van eck, 9/10 possibility of us being friends. he’d be a blast to have in a chemistry class bc you know class is gonna end with a fire alarm being set off bc he’s tired of being in class. he’s such a gremlin and i am too and i think we’d cause great chaos together. 1 point deducted bc he’s a gremlin but nobody would believe it bc he has that innocent type face (but i know your secrets van eck) and id try to convince people he pranked me and they’d be like him?! no way!! while he grins deviously. i’d shake my fist in anger but that’s all i could do.

#take all of this with a grain of salt bc these are all literally opinions #six of crows au #six of crows #incorrect six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #nina zenik #matthais helvar #inej ghafa #kaz x inej

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rupturedhaven · 1 month

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“We can’t leave them alone.” Jesper stated.

“You all need to know we can be trusted to play our parts in this team just as much as Matthias and I do ourselves. Please. I’ll be fine.” Nina pleaded.

“Handcuff me if you must.” Matthias said. “I will not harm her.”

“I don’t have handcuffs.” Kaz said, making a note to get some while they were out getting supplies.

“I do!” Jesper stood up, producing a pair from his coat. “Always keep some on me. Don’t ask.”

Second chapter is up! Will try and pace chapters out a bit more while I'm still working on my other stories in progress but this felt like the last "setting everyone up" chapter (it's title even links to chapter 1) so it's good to get it out there. Enjoy!

#ao3 #archive of our own #six of crows fic #soc fic #six of crows #soc #kanej #wesper #helnik #modern day au #six of crows au #soc au #heist au #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik

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nerdy-girlramblings · 3 months

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I saw a post that kind of touched on this and got inspired.

Kaz is very likely villain in someone else's story. Let's say that Filip, the boy with the wind-up dog that Kaz tortured for two days and then killed, was just trying to make some money. Let's say he had a sibling. They hunt down Kaz Rietveld, wondering why would a child kill their brother so brutally? And then they hear the rumors about him, Brekker. Dirtyhands he's called. There's no job too evil for him to do. His gloves hide permanent blood stains and some even say he has demon's claws too. And then they finally track him down, in an alley, a small knife shaking in their hand at their side and ask that very question that has been driving them to find Kaz: why?. The boy, a teenager now, in a long coat with a crow-shaped cane turns his head to look at them over his shoulder.

"He helped Pekka Rollins kill my brother." There's anger in his tone, but grief too.

They're confused. Philipe was only a small child, how could he have killed someone?

"That can't be true you!" they yell, tears welling in their eyes. "He was just a boy!"

Kaz lowers his head and whispers something so quiet they barely hear it over the sound of the rain.

"So was I." Kaz's head rises and he turns to face them, black gloves covering the cane's crow head. Their gaze drops down, looking for the outline of claws in the fingers of the gloves.

"Someone had to pay." Their head snaps up and Kaz stares them down. "You got your answer. Now go."

They do, hesitantly backing up out of the alley and breaking into a run, the rain blending with the tears streaming down their face. As they run, that grief and sadnesses turns rotten. A new motivation takes hold of them. Revenge. Kaz Rietveld will fall, if it is the last thing they do.

#this was meant to be a what if post but um my hand slipped #I wasn't planning on writing this but here we are #six of crows #kaz brekker #kaz rietveld #pekka rollins #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #jordie rietveld #six of crows au #nerdygirlramblings

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 11 days

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Okay I’ve been toying with an idea for a Six of Crows au post-Crooked Kingdom where Van Eck won for a little while now and yeah idk but I had a scene idea come to me just now so I’m gonna write it here to see what you guys think and if there’s any interest then I might add it to my list of fics to write

This feels like a weird introduction but, er, here we go:

Inej knew the moment Kaz got home. There were no longer any crowds in the house to come to attention at his entrance, or if there were then no-one had bothered to come down to the half-room and tell Inej, but she could hear his voice drifting through the vents as soon as the door upstairs banged shut behind him.

“Where’s Inej?”

“Where do you think?” Matthias’ reply came roughly, and Inej could all but picture the disapproving grimace that must be crossing his face about now.

Let him judge. She didn’t need to leave the half-room, and for as long as that was true she wouldn’t. The vents did not give her every room though, and she did miss gathering her secrets. She wondered if there was anyone else in the house, but the five of them. Five? She stopped and counted them on her fingers. Yes, five. Hopefully still five. Inej had not bothered to leave the half-room in days, and no-one had been down to see her since yesterday morning.

She heard the door click open behind her, of course, but she did not bother to look up as Dirtyhands entered the room.

“Wraith,”

“Don’t you read the papers, Kaz?” Inej asked, without turning, “The Wraith is dead,”

She stood up, hand wandering across the table for her little pot of jurda. It tasted like shit and it wasn’t nearly as strong as she wanted it to be, but it took less than a month for the price of the blossoms to surpass the height of the stars so she’d have to make do with whatever they had left.

“Inej-”

“They found her body on the steps outside the Church of Barter almost three months ago, remember?” she finally turned to face Kaz, unscrewing the lid on the little silver pot as she did so, “Killed by some mercenary called the White Blade, who still hasn’t been found by they way in case you haven’t seen the latest. I guess it’s difficult to catch a ghost,”

Difficult to catch a wraith.

“We’ve had this conversation several times, Inej-”

“And we’re going to have it again,”

Inej placed an orange jurda blossom on her tongue, then offered the open container to Kaz. It was almost empty. He waved her off.

“I thought you didn’t go in for that sort of thing,”

Inej shrugged.

“Gotta stay awake somehow, haven’t I? We’re busy,”

“We’re not on a job”

“We’re never on a job. Unless the reason you’ve bothered to grace me with your presence is a proposition?”

Kaz shook his head.

“I just wanted to tell you there’s no news,”

Inej looked away. There was never any news. And yet somehow she always expected differently.

“He’s dead, isn’t he?”

“Probably,”

Inej caught another jurda blossom between her fingers. She needed to stay awake, because if she slept she would see him. She would see all the ways she’d failed.

“It wasn’t your fault, Inej, we’re having the same conversations on repeat can’t you see-,”

“And we’ll have them again,” she shrugged, “We will have this conversation again, Kaz, because I made a mistake and you are coddling me like a child who won’t be able cope if you tell them something was their fault. Tell me it was my fault, Kaz! We both know that it’s true,”

Kaz shook his head.

“I’d rather repeat the previous,”

“Then let’s,” snapped Inej, because hell if this jurda wasn’t strong enough to keep her awake then maybe an argument would be, “Let’s repeat the goddamn conversation, Kaz, because you’re right. We have the same two conversations on repeat and do you want to know why? Because I am owning up to the mistake I made and I am trying to deal with the consequences of it, but you had no right to do what you did, do you understand me? You messed up and you need to take some damn responsibility, because if you think-”

“You always knew Tailoring Dunyasha’s body to look like yours was a possibility for your escape option,” said Kaz, calmly.

She hated how quiet his voice was, how slow and deliberate he sounded next to the and ramblings that she could not stop from stumbling out of her.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” she hissed, slamming her jurda back down on the table.

“I couldn’t have done anything to stop that,”

“You could have tried,”

“Inej-”

“Shevrati,”

Know-nothing.

She waved a hand vaguely at the door.

“Get out,”

Kaz turned to leave, then paused.

“I am sorry, Inej. They’d like to see you upstairs, you know. Nina misses you,”

“Nina can come down here then,”

“Inej… I can’t do anything for you but apologise,”

“Keep you apologies,” she snarled, and when the door had closed behind him added: “Choke on them,”

Kaz could apologise all he wanted. She would not forgive him. What right did he have to expect anything different from her than this? Did any of them? Kaz had not had to watch his parents cry, as they carried home the body of a child that wasn’t theirs. Kaz had not had to feel the ironclad grip of the person he thought he’d trusted most in the world as they held him back and told him to swallow his sobs and keep quiet. Kaz had not given up and gone limp in their arms, a mess of tears and useless prayers, as he saw his parents slip from his grasp once again and knew that he would not have the chance to tell them truth.

Kaz had also not failed the others, and did not have to feel the truth of that choking him every time he saw them. Kaz had not spent almost three months barely daring to venture out of the half room, just so he would never have to lock eyes with Jesper Fahey. There was a scream inside Inej that had been slowly building itself since the day of the auction, and if she did not find a way to release it soon it may very well eat her alive.

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