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poetic-emptiness-fanfic · 3 years

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Something There

The name of this fic is from a song Something There from Beauty and the Beast.

Characters: Hande Kuura, Reidunn & Lydik - Reidunn and Lydik belong to @vikinglumberjack

The first meeting of Hande and Lydik!

No content warnings.

Words: ~4 000

Hande enjoys spring: it's that time of year when nature comes back to life after months of slumber. A smile creeps across her face while she's walking towards the marketplace, not only because of the warmth or budding flowers and leaves, but because today she will meet her best friend after a long time. Reidunn has returned from her months-long journey to Longyearbyen, so of course they had to arrange a meeting.

It doesn't take long for Hande to spot the redhead from the crowd. She starts to wave at her friend whose face turns to meet Hande's eyes. They both smile to each other and Hande takes the huldra into a warm hug.

”Dunna, welcome back! I've missed you! How was your journey? Any news from your family?”

”Takkâ, Hande! I've missed you, too! It was fine, sometimes the weather was a little stormy on my way back home, but I was happy to see my family again. They're all fine, thank you for asking! They sent their love to you – they had hoped you would come with me again.”

”I'm glad you didn't experience anything too harsh on your way home! I would've loved to come with you, but you know how it is: Nadia needs me with this mental health clinic project,” Hande chuckles before she continues, ”That's what you get when you say an idea out loud and the Countess actually ends up liking it.”

Reidunn pats her friend on the shoulder, reassuring Hande it was great, that Vesuvia is going to have an important institution thanks to her. The magician quickly brushes it off, changing the subject to Longyearbyen. The huldra decides to indulge Hande this time, and tells about all the things she's done during her stay at her childhood home. They keep sauntering the marketplace until they stop at Selasi's bakery to grab some pumpkin bread. They're sitting on a table, enjoying the warm weather and each other's company.

”So, Dunna, it seems that you haven't just come back to Vesuvia. What have you been up to, or have you just rested after the journey?”

”I've tried to rest, yes, but I also had to make some arrangements. I need to make some space to my new roommate.”

”Oh, you have a roommate now? That's so nice! How did you end up with this situation?”

”He's a friend of mine. I haven't seen him a while, but when I was at Longyearbyen, he approached me and asked if he could come with me to Vesuvia.”

”How neat! What's his name? Is he a Fosna?”

”His name is Lydik. No, he is not a Fosna. He's a fae – a Nøkken, actually.”

Hande's eyes widen and her posture becomes stiff. Reidunn has a Nøkken as a friend? One of those scary, human-eating water creatures? For all of her life, Hande has been warned about them, how they lure their victims to the water to drown them. She also knows some people in Hjalle who have lost their loved one to a Nøkken. And now there's one living in Vesuvia...

Lost in her thoughts, Hande whispers, ”Näkki maalle, minä veteen...¹”

”What is it, Hande?”

Hande turns her gaze to Reidunn, still a little absentminded, ”Oh, it's a Forestian spell, to banish a Nøkken from water if you're going to swim.You need to throw a stone into the water while saying those words and then a creature needs to go to the shore and can't go back unless you let it return with another spell. I... Why do you have a Nøkken as a friend? They're monsters, they've only caused harm in Hjalle – I've heard too many stories of disappeared people whose steps lead to water and not back. People didn't even find their bodies to bury...”

”Oh, I'm so sorry to startle you, Hande! I forgot how that could be upsetting for you. But it isn't what you think, Lydik isn't like that! Actually, he saved my, Guivi's and Bilzi's lives when we got lost as children.”

”Oh?” Hande looks surprised, but also intrigued, ”I didn't know that could be possible. How did it happen, may I ask?”

Reidunn starts to tell about her adventure with her siblings and how Lydik had taken them under his wing. How he had showed kindness to the children by entertaining and protecting them during the night. The huldra can see her friend relaxing a little, although the magician still looks astonished.

”Wow, that really is something else,” she says, ”I've never heard of a Nøkken who has saved human lives instead of taking them. Sorry, Dunna, it seems like I judged too harshly.”

Reidunn reaches for Hande's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, ”It's okay, Hande. I should have warned you first.” The huldra seems to think for a moment and then smiles to her friend, ”If you want, we can go to my place. Lydik's there so... I've told him about you and I think it would be nice for you to meet.”

”You have?” Hande sounds surprised. She gives a little smirk for Reidunn and adds, ”I hope you've told only good things, and haven't frightened him by telling that I'm a Nøkken discriminator.”

The huldra bursts into laughter at Hande's latest remark. Reidunn is also relieved – she doesn't want to upset Hande, and it could be troublesome for Lydik if her best friend would decide to dislike Lydik without actually getting to know him. The duo raise from their seats and head to Reidunn's home.

***

Reidunn lets Hande enter first to her herbalist shop-apartment. The magician is greeted by music – fiddle music, to be exact. Hande stops in her tracks, starting to listen the sound that comes from upstairs. A melody is swaying and gentle, and has lots of short glissandos in it. The magician can hear a tuning of an instrument differs from her own violin: it sounds warmer, raspier and more ”homemade”. A shy smile rises on her face and she closes her eyes, taking in the whole experience.

Hande's friend can hear the music, too, which fills her mind with worry. Oh no, it's Thursday! Reidunn approaches the magician quickly, fearing she'll be traumatised after this incident. Before she's reached Hande she becomes a little baffled: Hande isn't walking towards upstairs. The huldra slows down and circles to meet the face of her friend. The magician's eyes are still closed, taking in the pleasant melody. Reidunn can see how Hande picks out the tune with her fingers against her thumb, like it's the fingerboard of her violin. Reidunn relaxes immediately. Phew, Hande isn't in trance. The huldra decides to wait for the song to end before she'll speak, for she doesn't want to startle her friend.

When the song ends, Hande opens her eyes and smiles at Reidunn, ”That was beautiful. How did you do it?”

Reidunn thinks for a moment before she opens her mouth, ”It was... Hande, don't freak out, but it was Lydik.”

Realization hits Hande and she feels dumbfounded. It the Nøkken is playing the fiddle, then why...

”Why am I not in trance?” Hande places her hand on her forehead, as if to feel if she has fever. The magician had no idea about this ability of hers. Reidunn seems as much surprised as her but then answers, ”I am not sure what may be the reason of this, but it seems like you're immune to Nøkkens' music.”

The magician, still a little confused, ponders out loud, ”I guess quite a few can do that – maybe it's related to families that have had magicians in their bloodline? There's nothing special about me in addition to that...”

Reidunn looks at her friend, giving her a wistful smile, ”That is a rare ability, I've never heard of anyone who is able to resist Nøkkens' playing. Not any human, at least.”

Hande isn't sure what to say – this ability of hers has taken her completely off-guard. The magician decides she doesn't have the time to muse about it too much – she will have time to think about it and ask from her family later. Now she can see the humorous side of this incident and chuckles to Reidunn, ”That kind of hospitality, eh? Trying to trick unsuspecting guests with his beautiful playing! How rude.”

The huldra looks a little confused, not sure whether her friend is joking or not. Her tail swishes nervously before she answers, ”No, Hande, it isn't a trick. I just brought a friend home. I'm sorry, it's Thursday and for some reason Lydik plays instinctively on Thursdays, and I didn't realise to warn you.”

Hande approaches her friend, hugging her lightly, ”It's okay, Dunna. I was only joking. How could you know he's playing right now? Besides, this was spontaneous visit, so Lydik doesn't know I'm here, either.”

Reidunn relaxes, her tail calming down as well. The huldra can't help but admire Hande's abilty to see humorous side of situations even soon after she has been nervous or baffled because of them. ”Would you like to meet him?” Reidunn asks with a warm smile on her face.

Hande answers her friend's smile with a smirk, ”Weeell, maybe this once. And if something goes wrong, I can always incant him inside of a water orb!”

Reidunn lets out a giggle and leads Hande to upstairs. Lydik is still playing his fiddle, apparently unaware of the company he's going to get. Hande is still a little nervous, but her curiosity is taking over – it's not every day you get an opportunity to meet a fae, after all. She waits behind Reidunn when the huldra knocks on a door that apparently leads to Lydik's room. The fiddle playing ceases and Hande hears a low grunt behind the door. Reidunn turns to Hande, ”For your information: Lydik can't speak, but I can interpret his communication to you. He understands what we are saying.” Hande nods after which Reidunn opens the door.

Lydik has put his fiddle away and turned to see the comers. Whatever Hande has expected to see, it wasn't this: a thin creature almost twice of her height with green skin, only loose pants covering his body. The Nøkken has yellow-green, wavy hair with twigs poking out of it, straight nose, elf-like ears and green, glowing eyes that reminds Hande of alligators.

A yelp, ”Ei perkele, hän on pitkä!²” escapes from the magician's mouth while she instinctively takes a step back towards the door. Her back hits the door and her brain catches up with her reactions. Don't be stupid, startling because of his height! There's nothing he could drown me with, and besides, why would he try to kill me, Reidunn's friend.

Hande's body is filled with embarrassment. ”I... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... I... I just got a little startled of how tall you are. I don't know why, but I get this stupid inferiority complex every time I am near someone who's much taller than me...” she stutters, trying to meet the Nøkken's eyes despite of their huge height difference.

Reidunn observes the situation a little worried: she can notice how Lydik has tensed a little, probably willing to hide, and now also Hande is nervous and starting a tangent in order to hide it.

”It's not because of you, it's completely on me... I've never met a Nøkken before and half of my family has always warned me about your kind... Reidunn told me how you helped her when she was a child, I really don't have anything against you, I'm so, so sorry...” Hande continues her rambling, unable to stop the flood of words. Her mind races, like she's on the back of a kelpie, unable to get off while the creature gallops towards the water. Great, now I'm thinking of horses...The last thing I need to do now... The magician starts to wringle her hands and she wants to do is to flee the scene, but she feels like her feet are glued on the floor.

Lydik is watching this new acquaintance in confusion. He isn't sure what he's supposed to do. He can sense the woman is nervous, even a little scared, but isn't sure if it's because of him, or like she claims, because of her. He glances at Reidunn pleadingly and the huldra goes to comfort the woman, who still hasn't stopped her nervous talking.

”Hande, it's okay. Just breathe,” Reidunn says calmly while rubbing her friend's back. Her best friend's voice helps Hande calm down – she feels safe, accepted. Reidunn has always had this skill of making Hande feel comfortable, since the beginning of their friendship. She is Hande's pillar of strength, always there for her, like Hande is for Reidunn. Little by little tha magician's breathing stabilizes and she's able to collect her thoughts. It doesn't make her feel any better about her messing up, but at least she's stopped rambling.

”Well, that was awkard... I'm so sorry, I don't know why I get this nervous in new situations... It seems like I'm socially rustier than I used to be,” Hande raises her gaze to meet Lydik's eyes once again, ”Please, let me try again: My name is Hande Kuura and I'm delighted to meet you.” Hande places her right hand above her heart and bows at the Nøkken in order to greet him.

Lydik is still a little confused, but his body relaxes. He glances at Reidunn who is still by Hande's side. The huldra gives him a nod – it's okay now, even Lydik himself can sense the woman next to Reidunn has calmed down. He cocks his head, but then he gives Hande a small smile while mimicking the magician's gesture. After his greeting he pews at Hande.

The magician looks questioningly at Reidunn, not sure what that sound means. ”I think Lydik is trying to say he's also delighted to meet you. Pew is a friendly sound,” Reidunn interprets.

Hande answers to Lydik's smile. ”I heard you playing, it was beautiful,” Hande says sincerely after a moment of silence. The Nøkken's smile turns into a friendly grin, revealing his sharp teeth. The magician doesn't get startled by that, ironically enough.

”You look different than I imagined,” Hande states looking pensive.

Lydik cocks his head again. This time Hande realises he's asking a question. She thinks for a moment, but then decides she can say her thought out loud, ”Well, to be honest, I expected to meet a huge pile of alga with scary eyes,” she gestures to his direction with her hand, giving the Nøkken a bashful grin, ”This... It is a positive surprise. My expectation would have been way too creepy for me to handle.”

Lydik looks at Hande for a moment, but then he starts to chuff. This yellow-haired woman is funny indeed. His chuffing increases which creates a confused look on Hande's face. The Nøkken notices that and approaches a shelf nearby. He starts to tap some kind of rhythm onto it with his finger. Reidunn follows him carefully while Hande's confusion seems to increase.

When Lydik stops, Reidunn nods and turns to face her friend, ”Lydik used Morse code. He said that he would've thought that sharp teeth would be more creepy than some algae with eyes. He found your remark funny, by the way: that chuffing noise means he's laughing.”

Hande chuckles, surprised by the fact Lydik is laughing at her sayings. ”Morse code, you say?” the magician asks creefully, ”I need to learn that, so I can understand what you're saying.”

A realisation hits Lydik who starts to look confused once more. Still by the shelf, he starts tapping, looking at Reidunn questioningly.

”Oh yes,” Reidunn exclaims, ”Lydik asked how you're fine although he played, Hande,” the huldra turns towards Lydik before she continues, ”Well, it seems like that Hande is immune to Nøkken music. It didn't affect her at all, and Hande didn't even realise at first it was you who was playing.”

Hande nods in affirmative, ”I don't know how, but it seems like Reidunn is right about my immunity”. Lydiks turns to meet Hande's eyes. He looks like he's impressed. Once again the Nøkken taps and Reidunn interprets, ”He says: Woah, I've never met someone who could do that.”

Hande lowers her gaze to the ground, feeling embarrassed for the attention she's getting. In the hopes that Reidunn will indulge her, she tries to slightly change the direction of the discussion. ”Well, your playing did affect me, though. Like I mentioned before, it was very beautiful. I just wanted to stay and listen for a while. I play a violin myself, so it's nice to meet someone who can also do that,” she says wholeheartedly with a friendly smile on her face.

Lydik's impression brightens and he gives Hande a wide smile with some cheerful pews. He places his hands in front of him and then he draws his hands to the opposite directions in the air: his left hand upwards and right hand downwards. The Nøkken's fiddle and bow appear in his hands from thin air.

Hande smiles at Lydik looking impressed, ”That's a neat trick! I have to settle for a case and then glare at anyone who almost kicks it.”

Lydik chuffs and then gestures to his instrument, asking if Hande wants him to play again. The magician's smile softens when she replies, ”Please.”

Lydik lifts his fiddle onto his shoulder. He doesn't need to think for long what he wants to play. The song is faster than the previous one, something one would dance to. Most of the time Lydik concentrates on playing, but from time to time he glances towards the women in his room. Reidunn is swaying with the music and Hande taps the rhythm with her foot. The Nøkken notices Hande's face is lit up with a pure delight, not an empty smile what those people in trance would have. He finds it fascinating, intriguing even, and he wants to play even better because of that. Lydik really likes seeing that look on Hande's face.

After the song ends Hande starts applauding, Reidunn following suit. Lydik is confused, because he isn't sure why the women are clapping, but judging by the smiles on their faces, it is something positive. He smiles a little sheepishly and makes his instrument disappear once again.

Hande notices Lydik's confused expression and hurries to explain, ”Oh sorry, I'm so used to doing this I didn't realise it might be new to you. People start to applaud to a person if they've enjoyed their performance, usually something related to music, but it can be dancing, a speech or something like that. You really are playing well, thank you for this performance.”

Pleased with himself, Lydik grins widely to Hande. A chuckle escapes Hande's mouth, but it's a kindhearted one, so neither Lydik or Reidunn thinks anything of it. The magician seems to think for a moment, before she opens her mouth again, ”Lydik, have you made your fiddle yourself?”

The Nøkken nods in affirmative and Hande's face lits up again, ”That's wonderful! Unfortunately I can't make violins, but my uncle Paavo – he's the brother of my mother – has made mine. From what wood are your fiddle made of?”

The room is filled with Hande's questions, Lydik's tapping and Reidunn's interpreting. The atmosphere is completely relaxed which fills Reidunn with relief – she has been a little nervous when she noticed that her friends were uncomfortable, but now that they have warmed to each other, both of them are able to show their best sides which the huldra enjoys to watch. Lydik's expression grows brighter and brighter, now that he's able to talk about one of his passions with someone who actually understands the details.

After Hande has learned that Lydik has used Nøkken magic to make his fiddle waterproof she starts to wonder about differences between Nøkken and humans in general. The magician keeps eyeing Lydik curiously, trying to determine what kind of skin does the Nøkken have. Only if she could touch it... No, it's not appropriate to touch others! But what if I ask permission first? No! Hande tries her best to listen Reidunn, but she's buzzing with curiosity and it gets harder and harder to contain herself. She must know.

Before Hande can decide whether to open her mouth or keep silent, Lydik's eyes lock on hers. Ugh, he must've sensed I was ogling... She gives him a bashful smile which the Nøkken answers. Feeling a little more courageous, the magician blurts, ”Can I touch you?”

Reidunn turns to watch Hande, looking extremely surprised. Lydik's smile turns into an expression of confusion once more which causes Hande to wince. ”Ugh, sorry... That came out wrong... I meant to ask, if I can touch your skin, to try how it feels like? It seems like the texture of your skin is different from human skin... Of course you don't need to let me if you don't want to, my curiosity just took the best of me...”

Before Hande can start another ramble, Lydik holds out his arm to her, smiling encouragingly to her. Hande holds her tongue and glances at his arm, a little hesitant. ”Are you sure?” the magician asks to which Lydik only nods. Slowly Hande reaches out her right hand towards Lydik's arm. She lightly strokes his hardel with her forefinger a few times. ”I didn't expect it to be this soft,” she states absentmindedly, ”It feels like a skin of a lizard... Interesting...”

Sensing Lydik's pretty intense gaze on her, Hande becomes extremely self-conscious and lets go of Lydik's arm. The magician clears her throat and thanks Lydik for letting her inspect his skin. Then she looks like she just rememberd something and exclaims, ”How rude of me! I kept touching you like a test subject, but didn't offer the same for you. If you want, you can touch my arm.” While saying the last sentence, Hande holds her arm to Lydik in turn.

Lydik isn't quite sure what Hande meant with ”test subject”, but he touches Hande's arm, mimicking her previous movements. The magician's skin feels smooth under his fingers and only soft arm hair offers some texture to it. Lydik notices how the hair on Hande's arm rises up and her muscles tense up a little, so he stops stroking, cocking his head once again.

”Oh, it's okay. I just am not used to new acquaintances touching me,” Hande says bashfully, ”To be honest, usually I don't like being touched at all, if the person is not a close friend of mine or a family member. I was ready to make an exception because of my intrusiveness.”

Lydik is still watching Hande, feeling a little puzzled about how to response to her latest remark. He didn't feel the woman had been intrusive, she has asked permission. This has been the first time someone has asked permission to touch him before doing that, except for Reidunn. Hande has been nervous, yes, but she's also been kind and friendly to him, even though she has learned to fear his kind, if rightfully so.

Lydiks smiles at Hande and gives a clumsy pat on her shoulder with some pews. Reidunn swallows up a giggle and states, ”I think Lydik tries to say he likes you, Hande.”

Hande answers Lydik's smile. ”Thank you, Lydik,” she says sincerely, but after that her smile turns into a mischievious grin, ”I think you're okay... for a Nøkken.”

Everyone stays silent for a moment, but then Lydik starts chuffing which causes Reidunn and Hande to burst into laughter, as well. The atmosphere is full of warmth, and it looks like a magician and a Nøkken have found a friend from each other.

TRANSLATIONS:

¹ ”A Nøkken onto the ground, I into the water...”

² ”Holy shit, he's tall!”

#The Arcana #Arcana oc #Lydik #fan apprentice #Reidunn the Apprentice #Hande the Apprentice #fanfic #my writing #my work

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fantasmalibre · 6 years

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DO-RE-MI-FA-SOL-LA-SI-DO

FEEDBACK LAW

Hace 5 meses tenía la firme intención de hacer un recuento de las actividades de los últimos 2 años de mi vida, de mi paso por la carrera de Derecho y todos sus derivados; sin embargo, quise esperar a fin de año para finalmente poder tener una retroalimentación mucho más amplia y aprovechar, a su vez, el aclarar mi mente puesto que mis emociones se peleaban, con fuerza, con mis pensamientos en ese entonces. Fue una etapa compleja, más de lo que me esperaba, mi paso momentáneo me atrapó al grado de no querer salir de aquella zona de confort donde todo era miel sobre hojuelas.

Jamás olvidaré el día en que recibí la carta de aceptación a Derecho, en aquel entonces estudiaba Ciencias de la Tierra y por una decisión a consciencia mi pasó por aquella carrera debía llegar a su fin debido a que no cumplía mis expectativas. El elegir Derecho como trampolín a Energías Renovables era la salida fácil que había conseguido idear. No sé exactamente lo que ocurrió, sólo pasa por mi memoria que regresaba de una fiesta aquél último domingo de marzo de 2015, a las 7:30 am abrí mi sesión y más ebrio que cuerdo vi que mi folio coincidía… tenía un lugar en Derecho, era el primer paso de mi nuevo plan de vida.

Algo cambió… dejé de ir a Ciudad Universitaria a tomar clases, me la pasaba en una estación del Tren Suburbano perdiendo el tiempo o en su caso visitaba CCH Naucalpan para brindar con mis ex-compañeros que no habían conseguido salir en el tiempo regular, todo esto durante 3 meses. Apliqué para mi examen de Energías Renovables un día de Mayo, no apagando la esperanza de obtener un lugar, eso si sin haber estudiado nada. Al llegar a Morelos y ver el examen supe que ni de chiste me llamarían a la entrevista, pero aún así termine de resolver la prueba (era de los exámenes mas complejos que se me había presentado en la vida jaja). Saliendo del examen y de camino a la CDMX replantee de nuevo mi vida, sabía que si no era Energías Renovables yo ni de chiste seguiría en el Area 1 y guiado por la comodidad que proporcionaba Derecho decidí elegirla para finalmente cambiarme de carrera, de vida…

Era Agosto de 2015, mis padres no tenían idea de la decisión radical que había tomado y las clases estaban por iniciar el lunes próximo (era jueves). Tras firmar mi carta de renuncia llegué una mañana y al primero en decirle todo fue a mi hermano, el se quedó un poco atónito, pero sin embargo, sus palabras fueron: “yo ya sabía que esa carrera no era para ti, ya diles a mis papás”. Llegada la noche aventé la noticia, ese día la cena fue distinta. Mis padres me apoyaron y al día siguiente fui a dejar documentación a FES Acatlán. Al llegar al lugar presentía que algo no había decidido bien, la razón… no me gustaba el plantel, desde que lo vi extrañe Juriquilla y C.U., pero las cartas estaban echadas y debía poner de mi parte para que luciera como estudiante, egresado y profesionista de esa pequeña casa llamada Acatlán. No había tiempo para mas cambios o ¿si?

¡Qué locura! No tengo palabras para describir el primer semestre, mes y día en Derecho, la vida es tan sencilla… apenas ingrese a unas cuantas clases, de las 5 materias que llevaba, a lo largo del semestre y tuve el mejor aprovechamiento en años, y es que un 9.6 de promedio no siempre se tiene en la Universidad; vale la pena decir que sólo tenía una profesora barco. Aquel perfecto semestre recuerdo haberme encontrado con un cardumen de amistades, muchas de ellas hechas en bares mas que en salones de clases, pero a quien le importa, siempre seré feliz por haber hallando a mis amigos: Luis, Sam, Gio y Xime. Ese cuarteto de tíos en que nos convertimos marcó el primer semestre y a su vez el shock en el que entré al darme cuenta que no quería el camino fácil y requería de irme de Derecho, pues de fiesta estaba suave un semestre, de ello no iba a vivir y el sueño de ser Ingeniero regresaba a mi mente, sabía que tenía las capacidades y el impulso de mis amigos al apoyarme era suficiente para que en 2016 hiciera realidad mi sueño.

SOL

El inicio de la adaptación y un huracán para acomodar. Dentro de mis 12 propósitos a cumplir, de 2016, estaba primordialmente ingresar a la Ingeniería y además deshacerme de mi pasado amoroso para comenzar a vivir con plenitud mis 20 años, pero jamás imagine que la jerarquía se invertiría para dar prioridad a lo segundo y con ello llegar a conformarme con Acatlán, Derecho y sus efectos secundarios. No le daré mil vueltas, en febrero me cambia la vida al conocer a mi novia universitaria “Alejandra”. A la fecha no sé como se dio todo tan rápido ni mucho menos sé como entablamos una relación antes del mes de conocernos, es bien dicho que “el amor llega cuando menos lo esperas” y es tal cual, puesto que fue fugaz. Aunque me cueste admitirlo, tengo que manifestar que me enamoré desde el primer día que la vi, que cada qué teníamos una cita (aún siendo novios) trataba de impresionarle con algo que había hecho, vivido o algo que había leído, y no sé porque, pero tuve una inmensa confianza en ella desde esa primera cita (a la cual llegue tarde, casual seee jaja) que le revelé partes de mí que contadas personas sabían. Nunca he sentido mayor reciprocidad en la vida, que aquel primer martes de Marzo de 2016, por primera vez sentí que la felicidad me esperaba a la vuelta de la esquina.

GUIVINNI ALEJANDRA. Esta fue la etapa que cambió mi vida para siempre, la que se lleva, por mucho, toda mi estancia en Derecho y deja secuelas sumamente importantes para todo el guión por escribir. El nivel de relación que adquirimos es incalculable y los momentos que vivimos indescriptibles; el miedo a enamorarme con el paso de los días, en aquellos pastos de la Facultad, desaparecía con enorme facilidad y el tiempo… el tiempo era veloz, el llegarnos a amar en apenas unos cuantos días de saber quienes éramos, hacía parecer que ó vivíamos en nuestro pasado ó vivíamos un ideal. A pesar de que intentaba no internarme en la relación, ella hacía que me involucrará a fondo; su apoyo para alcanzar mi meta de estudiar la ingeniería, se hizo presente desde el inicio nuestra relación, y aquel viernes de Mayo de 2016, después de haber presentado la prueba, ella no sólo me alentó a que podía lograrlo desde meses atrás, si no que al llegar del examen, me esperaba con un pastel para felicitarme y animarme a su vez; jamás lo olvidaré. Terminó 2º semestre y en Junio el resultado era positivo en el examen mas no así en la entrevista. Ella no dejaba de estar ahí, perseguía mis sueños más que yo, comprendí que si de alguien debía estar a lado era de su persona, era un ángel en mi indefinida vida. En 3er semestre ambos comenzamos a conducir, ella tuvo su auto enseguida que yo, pero lo condujo hasta un semestre después, mientras tanto practicábamos en el mío. Pudimos salir a varios lugares y desmonotizar nuestra relación de la escuela. Conseguí celebrarle un primer cumpleaños, las cosas no salieron como esperaba pues creo que tuvimos una pelea, sin embargo, puedo decir que recordaré la jirafa que le regale aquel día y un cartel (terrible) que le hice de Feliz Cumpleaños… su sonrisa de aquel lunes de Septiembre se encuentra tatuado en mí. El año terminaba, lo podía resumir en dos salidas a Valle de Bravo y en tener una relación tan esplendorosa para fiestas decembrinas. No había más, sentía total plenitud aunque por falta de coordinación de planes nacionales no pudimos celebrar juntos Navidad y Año Nuevo. Cada día que comenzaba la amaba con mayor intensidad, sin darme cuenta estaba en picada, intoxicado de amor, que había olvidado casi por completo que existía una Ingeniería por la que debía luchar un año más. Ya no importaba estaba pleno.

Cambios, muchos cambios. Estaba harto, no quería seguir peleando por un hecho que no estaba destinado a ocurrir, dejaría atrás el sueño de ser ingeniero y preferiría el Derecho Fiscal, Energético o Ambiental. Y aunque Derecho conseguía decepcionarme y me estancaba cada que intentaba superarlo, mi ego y fuerza de voluntad habían sido vencidas… tiré la toalla, pues había encontrado la felicidad en aquel lugar que odie desde el primer día, deseaba terminar la Uni y comenzar a llevar a cabo planes para dos. Recuerdo que corría el mes de Abril, cuando Guivi me preguntó si ya había metido mis documentos para la Ingeniería, yo le dije que lo haría en esos días. Para serles sincero, metí mis documentos el último día que se podía, un 10 de Mayo de 2017. No le corregí nada al ensayo, lo hacía por cumplir lo prometido: “un intento más y se terminó”, era consciente de que esta vez no pasaría ni el examen, pues aquella penúltima semana de Mayo en qué debía presentarlo tenía que entregar una serie de trabajos y presentar exámenes para no irme a finales, ah y por si fuera poco estudiar algo para ese examen dichoso. Llegó el día, Guivi me acompañó a presentar el examen, fuimos en su coche hasta Temixco, Morelos, recuerdo que esa mañana me quedé dormido, tenía que verla a las 7am en C.U. por obviedad me agarró un transito tremendo, al grado que llegue 1hr mas tarde, el examen era a las 10am, mi resignación era un hecho; mas sin en cambio, nos aventuramos para intentar llegar. Arribamos a las 10:05 am al examen, no sé ni como lo respondí, sólo recuerdo que me sabía 5 de las 50 preguntas. Terminó de nueva cuenta el semestre, y la segunda semana de Junio cuando cenaba con Guivi en Casa Toño, después de asistir a SkyZone en mundo E, revisé mi mail y estaba ahí la aceptación a la entrevista, admito que quedé atónito. A la siguiente semana era mi cumpleaños, lo había olvidado en parte, pues quería concentrarme en la entrevista. Después de pasar un cumpleaños especial con Guivi y una noche de antro que quiero olvidar por la tremenda peda que me puse, llegó el gran día, otra vez la entrevista en la que me hicieron menos pedazos que en otras ocasiones, pero que estaba seguro que no pasaría; salí en lágrimas de aquella entrevista, ella estaba para consolarme, pero mi frustración era tanta que no podía dejar de llorar. Recuerdo que de camino a la CDMX, le mencione a Guivi, que enviaría un video diciéndoles (a los entrevistadores) cosas que me faltaron. Después de enviarlo, quedé más tranquilo. Para del viernes 23 de Junio, no llegaba ningún correo, presentía que estaba aceptado, pero no quería decir nada. Estaba con Guivi en la Pizza del Perro Negro en Metro Zapata cuando llegó el correo de aceptación. Para serles sincero sentí alegría por haber alcanzado mi objetivo, pero faltaba algo, hoy se que perdía mi felicidad, lo único que había encontrado en Derecho.

Hace unos años, leí una reflexión en facebook del Bajista de la que fue mi banda favorita (PXNDX), me identifique tanto que cuando cambié de carrera quería hacer este ejercicio, pero me faltaba algo, un motivo fuerte para crearlo. Esta es la reflexión, ojo, no meto las manos al fuego por la veracidad de la historia. Cuenta la leyenda que Mozart era muy fiestero (seeee jaja) y que cuando estaba crudo y se sentía mal y cansado, la esposa enojada iba a su piano y tocaba DO-RE-MI-FA-SOL-LA-SI, pero no tocaba el último DO para cerrar el círculo. Ésto lo volvía loco, y por más mal que se sintiera, se tenía que levantar y tocar ese último DO para cerrar el círculo, y sentirse tranquilo y en paz. Algo obsesivo compulsivo en la música, lo cual me identifico porque yo soy igual en la vida real. Parecido a Mozart, siento que cierro un círculo, éste es el DO que me faltaba. Hoy, apenas hoy, lo toco, y puedo regresar a mi cama a descansar, feliz y pleno, de que empezaba por dar el mayor de mis esfuerzos para que las cosas no cambiarán, para que la relación que mantenía continuara viento en popa, para que los sueños que construimos fueran cimentados en metas. Reconozco que tuve grandes errores, el primero de ellos: la inseguridad manifestada en celos, después la impotencia que desprendía de ésta me ganó y dije palabras que hieren más que las acciones, aún después de ello intente enmendarlo, de igual manera no resultó; logré darme cuenta que pueden existir millones de circunstancias, que puedes intentar defender a capa y espada tus prioridades, sin embargo, al ser seres humanos requieres de la voluntad de la otra persona para reencontrar la armonía que cientos de veces puede perderse.

Hoy empiezo con el primer DO de nuevo, y veremos que notas sigan y cuándo, en la escala de mi vida.

#FEEDBACK #amor #leyes #cambios

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