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#gosh im just. im just so so glad i cant put it into words
sludgeguzzler · 1 year
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im so glad im getting better lately and thinking of the future as full of possibilities and options. what really keeps me going lately has been thinking about graduating high school and moving out and going to college, getting a job, living my life normaly and on my own pace, which is such a big change from the plans i had made just a few months back. im feeling sorta hopeful about my future for once and its great. i want to grow old now. its great
#i mean it doesnt mean i have a clear vision of what i want to be as an adult and if im even gonna go to college#but. idk im living through it#gosh im just. im just so so glad i cant put it into words#its funny too cus just a couple of days ago i was in absolute misery because of the big test i had to do dfshgh#but actually doing it made something click for me i think. i came out of the building feeling so#so light i guess#it was raining a bit and i just wanted to walk#so i told my mom it was too crouded and for her to pick me up someplace else#and i walked to a bus stop while eating one of the worst cereal bars i have ever eaten and my shoes were all muddy and i had a headache#but idk. i felt. really good#you see i am a certified teenager im six months away from being 17 im living that late teen blues#where my face is becoming a little less greasy and my frontal lobe a little more developed#and that means its almost time for college and for drinking and for partying and for moving out#and like. man#its dawned on me that the plans i had the ones about offing myself when i graduated highschool#they just odnt hold up anymore#i WANT to graduate i WANT to move out to my own apartment#i WANT to get a job; to come out properly; to study art; to put these years behind me and live#and im not saying i want to embrace everything that comes with adulthood no#what the fuck even is a tax. what do you mean i have to pay for my own internet. what the hell water bill#but just the fact that i actually want to go through all the shit parts so i can live the good parts means a lot to me#idk at this point im just rambling#dont want to kill myself anymore yippie hooray#schools definetelly gonna be Hell next year but i want to get through it so i can live the good part of life#im also ok about not going to college. like fuck man if i dont go then i didnt go thats that#i do have one (1) cringe unrealistic expectation which is omg what if me and my current bf stayed together forever [autism stare]#at this point im just incoherently rambling sorry there was alot i wanted to say and i ended up losing whatever sense of writing i had.#if you read through all of thank you tho. extremely personal i know but idk. im happy#sg.txt
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denningsjawbreaker · 9 months
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KNITTING ERA ?!?!
by: denningsjawbreaker
summary: soft!demetri teachers reader how to knit but *sighs*
for: @volturi-stuff
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INT. VOLTURI CASTLE
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" Demetri this is literally so hard...I'm stupid I can't fucking figure this shit out " you complain to your smug ass boyfriend who decided it be best to spend time by knitting.
This motherfucker continued to smirk as he sits on the bed y'all shared and is almost done knitting a whole sweater. You blinked at and lips parted and you cross your arms .
" that's totally unfair ... why can't we just sit down relax and watch teen wolf ? " you whine and wrap yourself around the blanket he made for you three days ago.
Demetri looks down at you and puts the finished beanie on your head and kisses your lips and your forehead.
" because doing these things with you makes me happy....I love making things with you..and for you darling. you mean so much to me and I do sincerely apologize if this isn't up to your liking , but knitting is my comfort and so are you. Which is why I decided to combine them both . " he says softly and strokes ur cheek and puts his knitting gear to the side .
Now you feel bad because why the fuck would he explain so sweetly. You can't help but smile at him. The way he is with his words. In these moments , you can't believe you have the most flirtatious casanova of the vampire world at your feet turning into this gentleman you cant help but love so much.
" METRI.....stoppp you really feel that way about me ? Im actually gonna fucking cry. THAT is literally the most nicest thing anyone has said to me . You are my miracle and my comfort too. You make me feel so beautiful and confident in myself. You make me the most happiest girl ever . I'm glad you are my mate and I met you. " you say through tears and wrap your arms around your big man .
Demetri smiles and his undead heart flutters a bit at your answer. He feels himself at peace in the centuries he has been alive. Besides Felix, you are his family. You are his perfect match and his soulmate . He never saw love the same after what he went through but you taught him that giving it a second chance isn't something to hide from.
" I love you so much amore . You are my everything and my life. If I had my heart in my hand , I'm sure it would be alive again " he says and kisses you deeply and strokes your hair softly. You smile in his arms and he wraps the blanket he made around y'all and he puts on the TV in the room and goes to search and looks at you.
" It's Teen Wolf right? " he says with his eyebrow up and you give him a nod with a smile and squeal.
" I can't wait to see Issac...he is so fine oh my god " you tell him .
He pouts playfully and looks at you with child like eyes.
" I'm hotter than that mutt...right ?!" He asks you as you press on Season 2.
You roll your eyes playfully and kiss his cheek with a chuckle.
" Oh my heavens Demetrius , don't be jealous he is just my TV crush don't worry . You know I love you so so much " you kiss him everywhere and he smirks and has his arm around you.
" Yeah that's true....but I love you more my darling dove " he smiles wide as the theme song starts to play and he looks over again at the TV then at you.
" so maybe we can make teen wolf beanies ?"
" OH MY GOSH YES ! BUT you definitely have to make it cause I don't trust myself with knitting "
" don't worry I got you my darling "
Both You and Demetri are now lost in the each other's love and can't help the happiness that radiates surrounding you. You both were the sun to each other's darkness. If the evil leaks in, it's positively true that love will overpower it. Demetri loves you so much and you love Demetri.
is anything more important than that ?
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4dango-the2nd · 9 months
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hello dango-san!! I received my book bundle from you already but don't have a twitter account that I can post my feedback on, so here I am in your inbox 😭 I just wanted to say that I really, really adore your comics (especially the ones abt scara and nahida!!!!!) so much!!!!!!!!! I was so happy to read all of them, especially kabukimono's book!!!!! I really liked the little character design sheets and it was also very helpful to learn from them bc you put such detailed guides on how to draw the clothes :"))) you have no idea how delighted (and miserable, but in a good way) your comics make me <3 they mean the world to me and i genuinely cannot express how happy I am to read them!!!!! you have no idea how much I was yelling and being an absolute nuisance to my family when I found out I would be able to buy physical books HAHA
I think??? I remember that you mentioned before on twt that sometimes you felt that you couldn't compete with other artists in the genshin fandom but that you made your comics anyway bc you love doing it, (I MIGHT BE WRONG ABT THE EXACT WORDING SORRY) and honestly that love for your work really comes through in all of your comics! I really do love your beautiful way of storytelling and using the format of the comic to add depth to the plot, and the careful attention you put in making your characters (like toki-aneue!!!!) to make them well-rounded and real to us readers. I'm always scrambling to your account whenever I see a new post, and if you ever plan to make more physical copies of your comics in the future, I will be waiting with my wallet open and my Niwa tissue packet filled with all the supplies I will need for more of your work :")))))
I think I've rambled enough in your inbox (I usually prefer to do this on anon bc I'm really awkward if otherwise HHSHDHF) but once again, thank you so much for your hard work, dango-san! you have found a faithful reader in me ^^
AaAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAaaaa THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS 😭😭😭 Im so very glad that you find this much joy in my work and even remember the little things!! I truly appreciate your enthusiastic support, it makes all the effort worth it!!!
And gosh I didn't expect people to actually like Toki-aneue this much! 😭💚💚💚
Again, I cant thank you enough for making my week, look at this bring a smile to my beak 🤣 i hope you have more fantastic days ahead of you! 🤗🤗🤗
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ipegchangbin · 5 months
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HOLY SHIT Z WHAT THE HELL⁉️⁉️😟😟🤯🤯
NEVER HAVE I EVER READ A FIC THAT MADE MY PUSSY THROB THAT MUCH‼️‼️🤭🙁🥵🥵😳😳😱😱😱
I READ THAT THING LIKE FIVE 5️⃣🖐️🤯 TIMES AND TMI BUT I GOT OFF ON IT TOO BC DAMN WAS THAT GOOD😝😝😋😩😫‼️💕🙏💕
I WOOOOUULLDD DO LIKR A WHOLE ANALYSIS (hehe analysis 😼😼🤭😛) BUT UMMMM UR GIRL IS HIGHKEY ASS AT WORDS‼️‼️😥😰😱😭😫 LIKE POOKIE‼️😫 I LITERALLY FAILED ALL OF MY ENGLISH CLASSES BACK IN HIGHSCHOOL😀😀😀😀⁉️⁉️⁉️BUT AAAANNNYWAYS WHAY YHE HELL Z 😱😱🤯🤯
THE WRITING IS LITERALLY SO AMAZING🤩😍😝😋😋😋
WHY⁉️⁉️😡😡
WHO GAVE U THE MF RIGHT TO WRITE THIS GOOD😡⁉️⁉️⁉️😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😾
BUT FR POOKIE WHAT DO U PUT IN YOUR FICS BC🥴🥴🤤🤤🤤😵‍💫😵‍💫😵😵‍💫😵‼️‼️‼️
THERES BARELY ANY BOYPUSSY FICS OUT THERE WHICH IS DEVASTATING 🤬🤬🤬😓😢😩😫😡🤬
UR MY SAVIOR Z‼️‼️🥹🥹🙌💕
ALSO YOUR ART OF BOYPUSSY HANNIE IS SO FUCKINF DELICIOUS LIKE I OPENED THAT LINK AND ZOOMED RIGHT ON THAT PUSSY AND I FUCKING DROOLED‼️‼️🥴🤧🤤🤤🤤💦💦 GUESS WHO TOUCHED HERSELF WHEN SHE SAW IT❓❓❓THATS RIGJT‼️‼️ ME😻☝️💕💕💦 I NEED MY MF MOUUUTYHH ON THAT JUICY MF PUSSSAAYYYYYY‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏😫😝👅💦
READER IS MUCH BETTER THAN ME🙌🙌🤧🤧 CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULD’VE PUT THAT VIBRATOR IN HIM AND ATE THAT MF PUSSY OOOUUTTT AND SUCKED THE LIFE OUTTA THAT CLIT😝😝😛😋😋🙏🙏🙏 RIGHT AFTER HE SQUIRTED LIKE IM FR GONNA MAKE HIM SQUIRT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IN MY MOUTH 😋😛😛😜💦💦🤪😍😍😍LIKE THIS TONGUE IS GONNA FUCKING ABUSE THAT ALREADY ABUSED CLIT EVEN MORE 👅👅💦💦‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️DID I MENTION I LOVE CLITS❓❓❓ IF NOT THEN I WILL NOW‼️‼️‼️ I LOVE CLITS‼️🙌😋 CLITS ARE SO FUCKING AMAZING‼️‼️😍😍😜😫🙌 EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING ABT STIMULATING A CLIT IM IMMEDIATELY BRICKED 🧱🧱🧱 UP⬆️☝️🆙👆CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULDVE TIED SUNGIE UP WITH A VIBRATOR TO HIS CLIT AND LEAVE HIM THERE FOR HOOOUURRRSSS‼️♾️😝😛😫☝️😋💦 I WOULD SPEND THE WHHOLE MF DAY ON THAT DELICIOUS CLIT ‼️‼️😍😛😋🙌👅💦😽👉👌OH MY GOD I SOUND GAY ASF BUT IDC BC ITS PUSSY‼️‼️😻🫰WHO DOESNT LOVE PUSSY⁉️⁉️⁉️😾😾I LOVE PUSSY‼️‼️‼️😛😛👅😻😽🙌 I WOULD EAT HANNIES PUSSY OUT ALL DAY ALL WEEK ALL MONTH ALL YEAR ALL CENTURY‼️‼️‼️‼️😝😜😜😽 THAT PUSSY IS SO MF JUICY💦💦 WND DELICIOUS AND IS BEGGING TO GET TOUCHED‼️‼️🙌👉👌😋
anyways pookie keep up the good work, amazing writing as always!! <3 🥰🥰💕 (definitely not rereading it for the fifth time and getting off on it…nooooo definitely not… ☺️☺️)
OH YM GOD i just logged in and this is the first thing i see 😭 I FUCKING SEE U ANON‼️ u are very seen
ANON I LOVE U SO MUCH MORE WTF THE AMOUNT OF PRAISE THAT U POURED OVER THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HAS BOYPUSSY BROKEN US BECAUSE IT SEEMS AS THOUGH IT HAS 😭😭😭 GOOD LORD and to think that this was supposedly just a private gift but mei is kind and i was able to post it … NOW IM SO GLAD I SHARED IT BC U HAVE FOOD TO EAT MY DEAREST ANON 😁
“ure my savior” yo…yo dont perceive me as messiah itll inflate the shit out of my ego /j and give me impostor syndrome /hj BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS gosh i cldnt stop giggling u made my day with these compliments like im just Some Guy but because of ur words i am now Some *Happy* Guy
and omg! URE RIGHT MAYBE SHOVING THE VIBE IN AND EATING HANNIES PRETTY BOY CLIT OUT WOULDVE BEEN SO GOOD…but then again…TEASING THE BOY JUST FEELS SATISFYING ‼️‼️ i love hannie and his clit actually i love pussy in general i wish i had boypussy especially boyclit in my mouth rn (in a non sexual casual way) (which was what reader intended) (until y/n and han both went CRAZY)
i wont lie this ask gave me massive eye strain from the emojis /pos like that brings me joy ?! its an impressive thought to know that somebody out there is losing their mind over silly words i wrote and a few lines that i drew. CRAZYYYY thats crazy?!!!
ill keep this entire ask, print it into a booklet form, and reread it as if its a mini prayer guide. i cant anon ure so silly and precious HAHAHAH hope u have the nicest day always!
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ginnsbaker · 3 months
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I'm already very sick to my stomach reading the first chapter 😭😭😭
I'm sorry I'll probably spam you with asks like this, I'll try not to but I can't help it. Your choice of words is perfect, almost too perfect, moving spiders inside me when you describe the cheating part and all of the little details, their thoughts. It's- aaaaaahh 😭
I ranted to my friend yesterday after finishing In Flames and I said something along the lines of wanting to fly to the stars and burn because of how much it hurt. Without asking if I'm alright with that, my brain just put myself in reader's place and it feels like I have been cheated on by the love of my life. It's like one of the biggest fears of mine - to find someone I fully trust only to be betrayed like that. I'm so glad that the series is finished, I don't think I would be able to live normally if it was on-going and I had to wait for chapters to come out 😅
gosh I'm so sorry. but... to tell you the truth, it's going to get worse in the next two parts. i cant emphasize enough how revolting it is to see read the story from wanda's perspective. anyway, we have ilgoss to make it all better :)
im overwhelmed by how you describe what you're feeling. seriously, i appreciate it. :)
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taegularities · 4 months
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Rid you're crazyyyyyyyyyyy
just finished cmi11 IM FUCKING CRYING holy shit that was so good oh god
first of all the conversation between oc and her mom made me cry so hard- it hit home for me, as a girlie with mommy issues, that part felt so real to me. Oc's courage to stand up for herself like that and tell her how much she hurt her own daughter is something i dont have in me. It broke my fucking heart, that yearning feeling, i cant believe you put that specific feeling into words rid [are u part of the mommy issues community as well🧐 or are u just that amazing, a true fucking artist (i saw that anon calling you the beyonce of ff and i agree 100%)] idk how to describe my feelings rn, that part definitely left a mark in my heart, ill never forget it
second the domesticity in these two dorks oh my goddddd they're driving me crazy, theyre so cute and in love and im in love with them and i want to cry bc i want what they have but bc irl men suck the hopeless romantic in me is gonna have to live through fanfics for the rest of my life and that makes me fucking miserable but bless the fanfic gods like you that keep my soul alive, idk what id do without you
lastly that scareeeeee oh god like i knew itd be a negative but it had my heart beating out of my ass (idk if thats a phrase) but the way they handled it oh god, the emotionsssssss the fears and insecurities, just reminded me that theyre human, even if theyre the most fucking adorable characters ever, theyre still human and i loved seeing such nuance. You really are doing an amazing job rid, not only writing the story, scenes and dialogue, but also the way you write these characters in such depth, its so fucking refreshing to see.
i want to kiss your beatiful head that holds your beautiful brain, seriously ive never ever been so enchanted by a piece of writing before (and i read so much fanfiction its like an addiction) you are by far my strongest fix. For real tho, your writing, and particularly cmi has touched me deeply and I'll never ever forget it. So thank you
Rest assured and stop doubting yourself bc youre seriously incredible and so fucking talented. Now rest up and take care of yourself, i imagine its not easy to birth such work (i mean 36k you monster, i loved every second of it but damn girl take a break before you burn your brain out) but no srsly i hope youre eating well, sleeping well and doing things that make you happy and relaxed. You deserve all the best of this world rid🫂🩷
sincerely ~ 🐼✒️anon
panda hi hello oh my gosh, sorry for being late, but you mentioned so many important things, so i wanted to take my time HELLO!! never stop sending these lovely af reviews 🥺
i know... she really is inspiring bc the courage to stand up against someone you feared for so long is admirable. i'm part of both the mommy and daddy issues community even though it's gotten a lot better lol like i wonder why it's such a recurring theme in my fics 🤣 i'm so sorry you could relate to oc :( but i'm glad you liked the scene so much.
and ahhh the domesticity 🤧 it's been so so fun and relaxing to write!! real life romance can be hard to find, yeah :') so i guess writing these scenes and chapters has been extra cathartic (although it drives me crazy, too — the next chapter has been making me so jejfhdjjsgd), but here's to finding a cmi jk irl soon :') much more to come!!!🕯️
the scare was one hell of a ride 🥺 i cried a lot!! and even i have been realising lately that i sometimes try to make my characters flawless, but that's actually not what i wanna go for. i always snap out of it and then try to make them flawed bc they're human, and i think the cmi couple, despite how endearing they are, is definitely vv flawed :') thank you for pointing that out 🥺
your strongest fix?? girl PLEASE ILL CRY 😭💔 i love you so much, you're so sweet for saying that and seeing me in such a way, pls i want you here forever <3 i rested a lot after cmi11! but ngl, cmi11.5 almost burned me out ksjdhehd gonna rest even more after that hehe. tyssssm, i hope you're well and healthy and i appreciate you so much for your kindness, reassurances and love for this series/me. love you so much 🤍
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HII im new here and i LOVE the way u write 😭😭🫶🫶 trust me when I say that when I stumbled upon ur prince!gojo fic i fell to my knees. The way u wrote about his devotion and feelings for the knight 🥹🥹🥹🥹 ITS SO GOOD i read some of Ur other fics and the way u write suguru is so perfect like i don't usually read suguru fics cause ppl usually tend to mischaracterize him but U WROTE HIM SO PERFECTLY and im here to just appreciate ur writing and ask if there are any books or films that inspired the way u write? Genuinely curious 🙏🙏
ANON 🥺🥺🥺😭😭 u r the absolute SWEETEST welcome to my silly lil blog!!!!! i cant tell u how much it means to get messages like this and knowing that ppl enjoy my writing T_T thank u so so much!! <333
and wahh!! the fact that u like how i characterize sugu is also such an honour to me…. ive said this before but i rly do think hes so complex and multifaceted so it means a lot to know ppl enjoy my version of him 🥺🥺
AND AND AND…… we are so linked anon. i was literally JUST thinking abt different writing sources that inspire me (bc there are a Lot psjdjs)……. 
i think that just in general i try to emulate the kind of writing that i like the most!! so my writing style is probably like… just one big patchwork of every book/movie/game ive ever loved LMAO. but here are a couple of the most prominent!! 
first off all… poetry!!! :D a lot of books have probably inspired me too but i think poetry especially!!! since its usually so full of imagery its just become a super big inspo source…. :’3 some of my absolute fave poets are frank bidart, clementine von radics, AAAAAAND richard siken <333 hes my favorite ever and inspires me sm. my fave poetry collection of his is war of the foxes literally every single poem in it is so jjk coded ……
aaaa but also…. poetry aside!! i love kurt vonnegut a lot. his writing is so nice!!!!!! i recommend him a ton!!!!!!!! 
AAAAND honestly anon…….. my biggest inspiration source ever ever ever when it comes to writing is disco elysium!!!!!!! its my fave game and honestly probably just my favorite writing source in general? if u havent played it or watched someone play it pls do urself a favor and do so….. the writing is so earth-shatteringly good and pretty it makes me jealous. it’s such a genuinely funny game too (but also so so heartfelt!!!)…. gosh. i love disco elysium like i love nothing else in this universe.
if u play it and then read my fics its GLARINGLY obvious how much its affected my writing i think psjdjd 😭😭 here r some quotes from it for reference!! they’re so good it makes me cryyy
the last dream will be total annihilation. cinders peeling off the fuselage.
a white mourning. a modern death. divorce, or something similar. all you can do is put more distance between you and him, make him smaller. make him less *you*.
”every combination of words has been played out. the atoms don't form us anymore: us, our love, our unborn daughters…”
”where *are* we, lieutenant kitsuragi?” ”in elysium,” he replies, “behind our eyes. like all human beings, detective. (…) the world is what it is. i’m glad to see you’re stable. keep it that way.”
SORRY im just. so genuinely obsessed w this game psjfjdj i seriously could not recommend it enough!!!!
aaaa but what abt u anon??? do u have any sources that inspire u? or general recommendations? 👀👀 i would love to hear em if so!!! <33
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just-jordie-things · 8 months
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JODIE I JUST FINISHED TBAH AND IM IN TEARS!!!!QHABANKAKA
oh my goodness you ended it absolutely perfectly!!!!i cant even begin to describe how amazing the whole story was!!!
I never read ongoing works,but i started reading tbah since chapter 5 or so, because i always adored you and your writing and GOD IM GLAD I DID!!!
as always you made my heart flutter!!!the whole idea,the way you described everything gosh!!!!
I wanted to thank you for writing such amazing story and sharing it with us!im going to miss tbah so much now that its over tho....
Thank you for taking us to this journey, jordie!!!!
You're the best!
awe sweetheart thank you so much for all the kind words 🥹 making me long labor day at work go by so much easier hearing how loved this series is!!! especially when i’ve put so much love into working on it as well 🥰🫶
also side note if i ever post a series trust i will post the whole thing!! i also am apprehensive at reading partial series bcuz if it gets dropped i’m too invested!! so if i start posting multi-chaptered fics, know i have the rest saved and ready to post too!
thank you for reading love, i hope you like what comes next 🥰
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ohhh my gosh... I'm obsessed with call me IM ACHING, BACK ARCHED, SHEETS GRIPPED, I CANT BREATHHHH
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As a writer, I go back and re-read some of my stories and I low-key can't believe that I actually wrote it. Like I actually sat down and wrote it word for word.
Like...this stuff actually came directly out of my brain and I put it down on paper?!
(Or put it on my Fire tablet to be more accurate...)
Not that I don't like it, it's just I think about what if the people I know in real life knew about this side of me? Lord, If they only knew what actually goes on inside of my pretty little head....😳🫣🤭🤫
THANK YOU! ❤️ Huge compliment! I'm so glad you like it! 🥰🤗
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tangerinesteve · 3 months
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that’s such a good way of putting it! i like a few bmth songs but i don’t know that many. i’ve dabbled into emo music and i think fob and bmth fit under emo??? but i’m not sure 100%. definitely get the interest in them, i should listen to more honestly but it’s Not The Right Time yet haha. it will happen sooner or later! just not now :’]
REAL!!!! i fucking have to have lyrics the first time i listen to a song or else i may as well not listen to it. i need to know the very essence of the song in every form or i’m not satisfied. lyricism is one of my favorite things, probably because i love words in general, but GOD. i love songs and concepts and fitting that into groovy lil tunes. it’s the best. AND YES, oh my god. you get it. i fucking love chateau (feel alright) because at a certain point in the song, you can hear joe’s mouth sounds and i’m so fucking obsessed with it. it’s also just one of my favorite djo songs in general. it’s ethereal to me. it’s a favorite song of all time of mine, as well as end of beginning. i did the math of playing a certain part of that song as the new year rolled in, if that explains any at all how much i adore end of beginning. music and me are one, as are you and music. i’m so happy you understand. it’s made me overjoyed and no less of it
:( that’s so kind. i hope you’re proud of yourself, because i am <3 i am so glad that you’re here, thank you for being here. i’m sure little you is so so so proud of you and happy to be where you are now 🫶
WOAH. that food looks so delicious, holy shit. looks like food from an actual recipe website or something. broccoli is so good by the way. i had this broccoli bake recently that was like mac and cheese but was broccoli instead of macaroni and it was incredible! i hope you can have more nice food soon, to treat yourself and such <3333
-🦇 (MWAH, you’re so nice to talk to. i felt like this was worth adding. talking to you makes stuff feel less lonely, if that’s not too parasocial to say. you’re such a cozy person and you have incredible vibes. thank you for existing in this space. you make it a lot brighter just by being you)
I think technically bmth is like screamcore stuff but they aren't as screamy now thankfully cuz i cant do the constant screams. Im like baby you're hurting both us with all this yelling. 🤣🤣🤣 but yeah i would think like emo punky and fob is like poppunk i think. I just ADORE their lead singer and his voice and ugh i can try and rec you a few songs if you ever want! Whenever the time hits!!!
(Gonna pop this under a readmore cuz they keep getting long!!! 🤣🤣🤣)
Ooohh yessssss Chateau is SUCH a dreamy song!!!! Its not my fave fave one but it does get stuck in my head A LOT. and yesss end of beginning is amazing too!!! I think Mutual Future (repeat) is one of my very faves. I just love how slow it is and then the like, way he almost chants the bit later on. Like he's full of so much need. Like... gosh. There's also a line in Personal Lies that literally makes my head go all fuzzy every time i hear it. Cuz, and hopefully not too tmi here, but I'm a little subby gremlin and he uses his condescending voice when he says "you need attention. Well baby there's the line" and i just.... go a little feral. Every time. Getting shivers now just thinkin about it. But like... that happens with me and music alllll the time!!!! And i LOVE that you timed it!!! Thats amazing!!! Sometimes you just need to hear the right thing to start the year right!!!!
And i am! Very proud of myself. I still have bad days here and there. But they never feel like i can't get past it anymore. So thats really nice. I just sort of embraced the small joys and it really just makes things brighter!
And awwww thank youuuuuu!!!! I love cooking so much!!!! I would share my food if i could!!!
YOU ARE SO SWEET OH MY GOSH! not parasocial too much i don't think. Most of my friends are online people who live in my phone ans i have so much love for them!!! BUT IM GENUINELY SO GLAD MY VIBES ARE GOOD AND COZY YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRYYYYY!!!!
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sehunniepotwrites · 6 months
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HAAAAAAAI i'm so glad i could bring a smile to your face in your day through my messages heheheheh ☺️ how was your day today!!!
omg is this telepathy or what! i was just considering and thinking of whether i wanted to pursue a masters after finishing up my undergrad degree studies!! hehe what's your masters in if it's not too private to ask 🫢 i was just thinking of doing masters because of my current timeline!! it's rly rly tuff to find a job here after graduating because the mkt is currently just kinda meh :/ so i was just wondering if perhaps going for masters would put me in a better spot!! but then again masters is something i can decide at a later time so rn im just gathering opinions from ppl who have taken it! wbu!! do u have any thoughts or opinions? :")
OMGGGGGG have i mentioned im a SUCKER for childhood besties concepts cuz that's just so so so cute 🥹🥹 I LOVE IT I CANT WAIT!!!! 😍 and my goodness how r u alw so creative w your ideas??? iM so unimaginative that like stories alw amaze me 🫢 hehehehe and HELLO wdym u have a life like a fic odnfoenfoke THATS SO COOL AND SWEET N LOVELY gosh i'd WISH i had like one thing from a fic ever happen to me 🥰🥰🥰🥰
AHHHH im so glad u could meet your friends and hang out together!! wish u had as much fun as u possibly could!! hehehehe how nice would it be if we could always be hanging out w our besties and just spending time together 🥺 hope you guys r meeting again soon!!! sounds rly rly fun to karaoke together it's been so so long for me to both karaoke and meet my friends cuz literally everyone im close to or care about is on exchange this semester :/
which brings me to my never ending rant of how despresso espresso i am this semester >< it's a rly tuff time in my life rn cuz im trying to navigate and find an internship that matches both my interest and my degree cuz it is a graduation requirement for me 🤡 i guess im at least getting somewhere w the search cuz i did have a pretti good offer lately! and im currently just pending the outcome of another role i interviewed for under the same company before making a decision (if i do get offered by the other role too heh) 😊 but then im just rly rly LONELY this semester and im just sad cuz im attending classes and doing everything by myself :/ and i dont have friends arnd locally rn that i could meet and just unwind after a period of stress so its rly draining me a lot on top of my never ending assignments projects and exams 🥲🥲 and yea ldr is so so tough and its so hard to keep my emotions in check because of how big of an overthinker i am so im always just having sleepless nights, constant nightmares and sometimes even sleep paralysis 🥲 i guess im becoming more independent from this whole experience though! forces me to become a whole even without everyone by my side and to continue living and functioning, doing what i should be doing!
i love coming to talk to u and reading all your responses too!! 🩵 m alw looking forward to your replies and your kind words to me hehehehe keeps me going!!!
love, 🍑
i've spent the weekend in bed becuase i'm sick again! i binged s2 of the summer i turned pretty and i cried a whole bunch. i love how they really took the angsty route this season--really showed how diff people deal with grief! probs gonna call out tomorrow because i've been sneezing like crazy and my voice is lowkey gone ;; i think i'm gonna try to get some writing done and post a teaser for a story that may never be completed but it's too good to just stay in my drafts!!
oh sure, i have my masters in education. i went thru a one year ma program with a teacher's cred tied into it too. my program was unique in that they condensed a two year prog into one accelerated and it was the toughest year of my life tbh. working full time as a teacher and going to school full time for basically two degrees was tough.
i love all my ideas but i haven't been able to finish them!!! i really want to get them out to the world bc theyre too good to sit in my drafts but it's so incomplete!! the one i am thinking about posting can be a standalone because its such an open-ended ending but there's still WAY more planned for it.
if you have time, playing games together online is a good way to keep in contact. we played pictionary on a website and it was super fun during the pandemic a lot!
it looks like youre slowly getting your ducks in a row for the internship despite the stress! but i see how missing your so and friends can affect your mood. feeling alone is never the best feeling and i totally see where you are coming from. but look at you, you're already looking at the positives out of your stressful situation! that's so great! you can only go up from here, you know? and listen, this is something i always tell my students, each person has their own timeline--their own time to make mistakes, to figure out what they want or need, etc. you may take longer than others but you don't need to worry about others. worry about you and focus on the things you can do for yourself to make you better. and if you make a mistake, that's just a lesson you can take. it's all about your growth mindset!
love u lots!!!
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princehoseok · 9 months
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i cant say im ok, i cant say it because it really doesnt feel like it, im just ... i think i know ill be ok, futures gonna be ok they say
and this is the internet, i dont know any of you whoever reads this if anyone does..
ive been struggling for a long time, ive been struggling mentally before the pandemic and i dont think i knew then, when the pandemic hit i was already trying to learn bts members names, i was already playing their music videos nonstop, everyday as i came home from work, first thing to do was playing bts music videos, then funny moments, then live performances, its been 2 years and a half and im still not done
at the end of the first year somebody asked me "what are you grateful for this year?" and they were my first thought, "im so glad i met bangtan"
i didnt know anything about them, i messed up their names so bad, and still from the very start it felt like ive known them my whole life, ive been proud of them my whole life
couple months ago i was having one of those bad bad days, my mom noticed there was something weird and she just said "put on some bts videos, thats like your medicine"
it shocked me, she was so serious, so i was like "yeah, i will, thats true"
im not the army that knows what EVERY song is about yet
but oh i believe in what i feel when i listen a language that its not my own
i feel them
ive never loved or felt anything like this, like what i feel for them, what i feel with them
i wish they knew
sometimes i feel like they know tho
ive been struggling for so long, and these people who dont know me have helped me through so much without even realizing, you know?
i am so so so thankful
im so thankful for them
yoongi says futures gonna be ok, and god knows ive been sad about that
gosh ive been pathetically sad for too long now, i say im ok, because hey im alive, i got health, i have a job, i know i have so much to be grateful and i am i swear
but there is something inside me that i still cant put into words, but im not ok, i have faith, i have faith believe me i have faith, i have faith future's gonna be ok, even if its so hard to feel safe about it,
i dont think im making myself clear i feel so desperate im sorry
i know futures gonna be ok, i just struggle to put it out there, to see it clearly
i didnt plan on watching the concert today like this.. live, i dont do that guys, i sleep through everything, im such a coward sometimes
i was gonna wait, but something dragged me to it, i wanted to see namjoon and it was the last one, i had a feeling hobi and jin would be there and there just was something that made me do it
i didnt know i was gonna feel like this
that last futures gonna be ok screen hit me hard
he had just sang that a couple minutes ago and i hadnt heard, i didnt get it until that friendly reminder
and i needed that so bad
i dont want to keep talking, i dont know what to say i feel quite dumb, i cant even see straight because the tears wont stop, i feel so ... something, im happy, im sad, im so tired
im so tired guys, i just know futures gonna be ok now
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and min yoongi, thank you
for giving everything, i love you
im so glad you opened the door
someday ill open my own
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queen-cariba · 5 years
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yOOOOO SETO IS IN JUMP FORCE AND IM LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD
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jeonfiles · 3 years
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once more to see you | kth 01
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pairing: taehyung x reader ft. seokjin
genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love
synopsis: taehyung is the complete opposite of you, and you're so in love with him. he's not interested in you at all, but he's willing to pretend so he won't be known for breaking the sweetest girl in school's heart. he knows you'll end up hurt either way.
warnings: taehyung is an idiot, a lot of pining, y/n is annoyingly dependent on validation, y/n does a lot of silent prayers, y/n is a track star, childhood bsf seokjin (cute), mentions of deceased family member
music for this chap: she had the world , carry me out
a/n: taehyung will disappoint u in the beginning but hes cute i promise
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"I get why you like him Y/N," Sohee swallowed the rest of her sandwich before finishing her sentence, "He's so hot. People say he's interested in you too, y'know?"
Sohee visibly tried to get food out from the back of her mouth using her tongue, and it made you chuckle at the sight. "I don't think he does." You sighed, resting your chin in your palm.
You were both situated at the table in the inner corner of the cafeteria, with a full view of who walks in the door, and sometimes you swore you could see Sohee drool when attractive guys walked in that exact door.
"Hello, of course, he does! Even his friend Jimin told Kang Seulgi from Class 1, who told Go Euntaek in class 3, who eventually told his girlfriend Baek Ho-rang who ran to me to tell me the great news." Sohee gasped for air after rambling, and you rolled your eyes,
"Stories change when that many links contribute." You scoffed, sitting back in your chair and reaching for your juice box on the table, taking a huge slurp, which you knew would annoy Sohee.
"You don't believe me? Guess we gotta ask a link closer to the source then." Sohee stood up from her chair, and you looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Park Jimin, get your ass over here will ya?" She nearly shouted across the cafeteria, and now all looks were pointed at you two, and you felt the urge to just slip down the cracks of the floor tiles and hide there forever grow stronger for each nanosecond.
You sunk further down on your tacky, orange chair, but you could still see Jimin's black locks sway a little over the crowd as he walked over to the table you were sitting at.
"What's up sugar?" Jimin smirked at Sohee, and Sohee didn't even budge, and you had no idea how she did it. He was stupidly attractive and could make any girl drop her pants with a comment like that.
"Jimin my dearest, a little birdie told me that Taehyung likes my sweet Y/N, could you confirm?" She batted her long lashes and smiled prettily at Jimin.
He looked to the left, sucked his teeth, and said, "I can't, I'm sorry." You realized you had grown a little too hopeful, and your heart sunk quite a bit when he spoke.
"Does he think I'm pretty at least?" You spoke up, eyes shining when you looked up towards the standing Jimin, the harsh lights in the cafeteria reflecting in them.
"He hasn't mentioned you much, to be quite honest." He shrugged, walking back to his table, where Taehyung and the rest of his friends sat.
Your heart thumped when he met your eyes, and you looked away in panic. The rest of lunch was just Sohee apologizing and you avoiding eye contact with any of the students at the nearby tables.
Jimin mentioned you and Sohee's name several times, he was a loud speaker, and you were so scared of what he was saying you could probably die right then and there.
Saved by the bell, you picked up your stuff and got ready to start running to your classroom, praying you wouldn't meet any of Taehyung's friends, and especially not Taehyung as you ran Usain Bolt style.
You looked down while running, not thinking twice about leaving your best friend behind, you suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. This was surely not one of your glory days.
When you looked up, you wanted to cry. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, and he didn't look pleased. You gathered your things and muttered "Sorry." under your breath probably about 10 times, and he just watched, disappointingly.
"You're a klutz. Why were you running?" He spoke, and your knees turned into jelly when you tried to stand up, you nearly fell and dropped all your stuff again, but he caught you by the arm, straightening you up like it was nothing.
"Uh... Uhm... Err..." you mumbled, and he rolled his eyes, and not in a joking manner. "Fuck that, why are you going around telling people I like you?"
Your breath hitched, and he stared at you coldly. "I didn't! Gosh, my friend Sohee told me someone had told her that you liked me, and- uh... We asked Jimin, and-" He put his hand over your mouth, making you shut up.
"I don't want you two to go around making up baseless rumors about me, it's incredibly annoying for me to go around correcting people who assume shit just because your little friend speaks louder than a bunch of hyenas at a tea party." Taehyung nearly spat, and you took a step back.
You noticed that people were listening in, their stares burning holes in your back. He was livid, and you didn't understand why, you just smiled, praying to god that this would end soon.
"I just thought you liked me-" You began, and he interrupted you, "You thought I was gonna like someone like you? Get over yourself and enter the real world."
The hallway went silent, your lips trembled as hot tears raced down your face, and like the track star you were, you fled the scene and passed the finish line into the bathrooms.
You stayed till the school day ended, not knowing what was unraveling outside the four walls of the stall.
Sohee 💜: 01:12 pm
Y/N, where are you? i heard what happened :( i hate taehyung im gonna chop his sausage off
Sohee 💜: 01:38 pm
taehyung is fighting w doyoung because doyoung decided to defend you this is hilarious
but fr where are you
Sohee 💜: 01:57 pm
doyoung gave taehyung a black eye damn
doyo is on the verge of tears when taehyung said you liked him and not doyo
taehyung cant not have feelings for you like there must be smth deeper going on
Sohee 💜: 03:39 pm
class just ended i'll wait out back
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Sohee always knew when to leave you alone, so she did, partially. You usually shut off your phone when you're upset, but she still sends you texts to update you whenever you turn it back on.
This time, it was quite dramatic, and you rushed out of the icky stall and ran (again) to reach Sohee to get the full story, and as you expected, it was interesting.
"Basically, Doyoung punched Taehyung and Taehyung was a little too OP, so he failed to initiate a fight, so it just turned into Taehyung being an ass to Doyoung for defending you." She shrugged, adjusting the straps of her leather backpack as you walked home.
"Taehyung's rep is so tainted right now, I don't know how he's gonna fix this my dear Y/N, so I guess he got his karma. He's an idiot and I'm glad other people are starting to see."
You nodded yes, pushing out a fake chuckle, while silently you prayed that everything would soon be back to normal and that Taehyung would forgive you for the mess you caused.
Being in love with Taehyung for a year had taken a toll on you, and your best friend since freshman year had noticed too. You were different.
You used to be so independent and optimistic, but now you would strive for validation, and you had turned into one of the most insecure people Sohee had ever met.
Sohee tried to pull you away from him, but to her demise, it only got worse when you tried to meet other guys. She figured that the only way for you to disconnect from him was if you had your go with him, or if he treated you like a complete idiot.
You waved goodbye to Sohee as you entered your house, kicking off your shoes and throwing yourself down on the couch. You wanted to scream, but you saw your brother's and another guy's shoes in your hallway, so you kept it inside.
After having watched an episode of Seinfeld, you could hear the floorboards creak, and your gaze found its way to the hallway, where your brother, Yoongi stood, peeking out from his door.
"Ah, Y/N, you're the one who's home?" He smiled brightly, eyes turning into small crescents, which made you awe at the sight.
"Yuppers." You said and sat back again, pressing play to start the next episode. "Who's your guest?" And as you uttered your last word, another head peeked out from the door, and you couldn't help but feel the happiness brew inside you.
It was Kim Seokjin in all his glory, and this time, he looked even hotter. It had been about two years since you last saw him because he moved to Germany to study medicine.
Seokjin had been your neighbor since you were born, and you pretty much grew up with two older brothers who always took care of you.
No one dared to mess with you, because Seokjin and Yoongi always got to them first. That way, you grew up without a care in the world, protected from all evil.
You had no idea when you fell in love with him. It was somewhere during puberty, where your interest in Brad Pitt and Kim Soohyun from Dream High had grown stronger.
You remember Seokjin was scouted for modeling, acting, and even idol groups all through your childhood. He did a few ads, photoshoots, a popular teenage drama called Double Trouble, and even managed to get his own Wikipedia page.
There was no doubt that Seokjin was an attractive man, and in the two years he had been gone, his face fat was completely gone, and he had defined cheekbones, a slimmer and tighter figure, and you thought he couldn't be any more perfect.
"None other than God himself," Seokjin said smugly, opening his arms to greet you with a hug, and you threw your blanket you were covered into the side as you bolted into Seokjin's arms, legs wrapped around his waist.
He slowly put you down so your feet touched the parquet, and you felt a kind of euphoria as he smiled at you again, the same smile he had flashed you as long as you could remember.
Everything about Seokjin had matured and changed, but his smile remained the same. "What are you doing back?" You sniffled, holding back the happy tears that were forming in your eyes.
"Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Germany, but it's a little bland. I miss ahjumnas complimenting me on the subway and the bomb ass food here in SK." Seokjin grinned as he wiped a tear that fell down your face.
Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, smiling at the grand reunion. You knew he liked seeing you two together, and you had a small suspicion about him shipping you guys.
"Please don't ever leave again." You gripped onto his shirt, digging your face down in his chest, and he said, "I swear to god if you're wearing makeup right now-"
You laughed as you pushed him away, placing your hands below your chin and batting your eyelashes dramatically, "I'm all-natural."
"Naturally pretty." Seokjin leaned forward and whispered in your ear, and your heart did a little somersault.
Seokjin's always been a charmer.
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You woke up in your room, pink sheets draped over your half-naked body as tons of messages poured in on your phone, vibrating so much it nearly fell off the edge of your nightstand.
You grab it while rubbing your eyes, and you're shocked to see the messages that had exploded on your lock screen.
Unknown: 08:39 am
Hey, it's Kim Taehyung.
Look, I'm sorry for the shit I said to you and I would love to make it up to you in some kind of way.
Maybe I could take you out?
I get it if you don't want to, but I heard you were interested in me so...
What kinda food do you like? Activities, hobbies?
I really wanna make this right :)
You: 08:43 am
oh hey! I'd love to, you kinda owe me one. if it's your treat, I suppose we could get some sushi and boba...
btw I don't like u like that
Contact made, saved as "taehyung <3" at 08:44 am
taehyung <3: 08:47 am
Okay. Meet me at Nori Table at 6 pm. Don't make me wait.
Your heart was palpitating, and when you pressed your phone up to your chest, you could feel your body heat up from your scalp to your toes.
Maybe Kim Taehyung had no interest in you right now, but he sure would after tonight. You were gonna make him love you, soon enough,
Running to the shower a few hours of Seinfeld later, you scrubbed with all your might with your newest strawberry scrub, did your makeup, curled your hair, and sat down on the couch, outfit draped over the armrest of the chair.
It was an hour till you were leaving, so for the time being you sat with hair rollers in your hair, dressed in pink sweats. Seokjin and Yoongi had been awake all night, you had heard them laugh and play Mario Cart all night, it reminded you of old times.
Old times where you went to bed crying because Yoongi and Seokjin's bedtime was later than yours at sleepovers. Thinking back, your parents made a pretty rational decision, but you resented them for it.
When Seokjin left for school in Germany, during your Sophomore year you cried again. You thought it was so unfair that you had to be two years younger, why couldn't you come with him?
You were painfully in love with him, and you had been probably since you were. A few months after he moved, your feelings faded. You were love-free, only to fall stupidly in love again with Taehyung just a year later.
You were forced to snap out of your train of thought because you heard the floorboards creak again. When you looked over at the dark hallway, you saw a tired, yet familiar face smile at you.
Seokjin looked quite disoriented, hair ruffled and eyes puffy, yet he looked like a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection, he smiled at you like he did yesterday and all the times before.
"Morning." He grunted out, his morning voice prominent. You chuckled when you looked at the time, feeling kind of bad for Seokjin who had slept away the majority of his day, which you knew he didn't like.
"It's 5 pm, cutie. Mom said you guys could order takeout, cause she's working late." You stood up, and Seokjin gave you a good look up and down, and then diverted his gaze to the lavender ruffle skirt and white long-sleeve blouse you had neatly hung over the armchair.
"What's the occasion?" He nodded over at the clothes and then your hair rollers and full-face makeup-covered face. He threw a few walnuts from the little bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.
"It's none of your business, but I have a date tonight," you said smugly, and a walnut flew out of Seokjin's mouth in shock.
"A date? Like a real one?" He frantically asked, and you nodded as you walked away with your outfit in hand.
You came back out minutes later, and Seokjin had to hold his mouth shut so it wouldn't drop to the floor. You had matured so well, a white blouse adorning your waist, and the lavender skirt hugged your curves nicely.
You had decorated your neck and ears with golden jewelry, and you had a pair of Air forces dangling from your left hand. You were beautiful, hair let free from the hair rollers, curls swaying as you did a twirl.
"It's alright, I guess." He pretended not to care, and your proud grin morphed into a frown pretty quickly, and he noticed.
He stood up and walked towards you, standing very close. His tall figure was hovering over you. Seokjin leaned forward towards your ear, not whispering this time,
"You're gorgeous." He pushed your curls behind your shoulder, adjusting your golden necklace as he returned to Yoongi's bedroom.
You were screwed.
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The time on your phone showed 6:06 pm. You recall him saying ‘don’t be late’. What a hypocrite. It had started to pour down, so you were squeezed up against the brick wall of the restaurant so the ledge above you would shield you from the rain.
You were shaking from the cold, legs exposed because of your skirt. Sighing deeply, you reached down into your purse to text Taehyung, but when you looked up, you saw him running over to you.
He was holding a bouquet of pink delphinium and peonies. You’d always been interested in flowers, and this small gesture made you all fuzzy inside.
“I apologize for my late arrival m’lady. The flower shop was about to close down for the day, and I had to beg the cashier to let me in, promising to buy a huge bouquet if she did.” He smiled as he stood in front of you.
“No worries sir, I haven’t been waiting for long.” You chuckled, as you accepted the bouquet. His eyes scanned every inch of your body, and he said, “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”
This was a side of Taehyung you had barely seen before, caring and warm. This was also the side of him that initially made you fall for him.
The memories of him reading stories for children at the hospital was heartwarming. Whenever you went to visit your brother, who has now passed, you would see him read stories for all the unlucky kids.
Your brother, who was only 7 years old talked about Taehyung like a superhero, and it seemed as if Taehyung’s stories were the highlight of his days at the hospital.
Daejung wasn’t a kid you would pity. In his last months in the hospital he never once cried. You believed that Taehyung was a big part of the reason.
That’s why you fell in love with him. He hadn’t been a superhero in the form of saving lives, but he definitely made a whole lot of sick kids happier.
How could you ever repay him?
Taehyung rested a hand on your shoulder and lead you inside the door, and there stood a beautiful tall woman, black hair to her waist, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips.
She was beautiful. You looked up to see Taehyung’s reaction, and he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at you. His eyes met yours, and you could’ve sword the whole world stopped.
“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and it kicked you right back into reality. It was the pretty woman speaking, an even prettier voice to match her.
“Do you have a reservation?” She questioned, smiling so genuinely from ear to ear. “Yes. It’s on Kim.” Taehyung spoke so confidently.
“Ah, for two. I’ll be your server tonight.” She waved for you to follow her, and before she turned around, you saw her name tag.
Bae Eunmi. A pretty name for a pretty person. Of course, she had to be pretty. Your confidence sunk even lower, and your insecurities grew.
“I’m not interested in her, by the way. I’ve talked to her before. She’s all beauty and no brains. Not for me.” Taehyung whispered into your ear, possibly to reassure you.
You sat down at the table and ordered a huge plate of different types of sushi, maki, nigiri, uramaki, and even sashimi.
This restaurant was fancy, nearly too fancy for your liking. It was huge and flashy, and it made you doubt your outfit choice completely.
The restaurant fell silent since there weren’t many guests here this early. The silence wasn’t awkward between you guys. It was just, too silent, and you decided to break it.
“Do you still write stories?” Taehyung’s face froze. How did you know about the stories he wrote? Had you been stalking him? Was this when everyone would find out how weak he truly is?
“How did you find out... About them?” He asked hesitantly, fidgeting with a small woven basket with bread placed on your table.
“When sun and moon met, moon felt bad. When the moon was alone at night, he cried, because he wanted to shine just like the sun.” You quote his story word by word, it was your favorite paragraph.
He looked at you with a confused look and his eyes told you that he wondered why you knew the story so well.
Before he could speak up, you said, “My brother's name was Daejung. He looked up to you and constantly told me about how he wanted to be like you when he grew up.” You placed your hands on top of his over the table.
Taehyung was speechless. He sat there, body completely frozen as he processed what you just said. The little boy he had mourned for many months was the same flesh and blood as you.
“Daejung told me how he wanted me to marry you because he thought no one else deserved me.” Letting go of his hands, he continued sitting completely still.
First, he felt disappointed in himself. Disappointed of the way he had treated you, how sad Daejung would be if he knew.
Second, he could see him in your traits. Your button nose matched his completely, and your eyes sparkled just the way his eyes did.
Third, he realized he had to take care of you. Fall in love with you, for Daejung. Taehyung had promised the little boy to take care of his friends and family when he has at his worst.
His expression completely changed. It softened, and his eyes looked at you like you were godsent. He believed you were too. It was fate.
join the “once more to see you” taglist
a/n: u guys know the angst isn't over lol u guys r never gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel ! this chapter was originally a bit longer but i have to test the waters and seeing how u guys like it !! pls reblog <3
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ahh hellooo ari !! i just came to say i absolutely love love LOVEE your writing so much ! you are like an angel i swear >< i have totally not been rereading your fics every single day.. 😭 but gosh i can’t even put into words how much i love your work, you are insanely talented (and that’s only a little of what i can put into words). because omg.
you don’t understand.. your writing is heaven-sent, and you inspire me so much🥹 i’m currently dealing with high school stress (also exam season coming up which absolutely sucks!) but i love comkng home from school, or just staying up until ungodly hours reading your fics. lots of love and hugsss <3333 mwah
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anon……………….
did reading this make me cry? no. (maybe (yes)) you are SOOOOO so so sweet i cant take it…. im lying on the floor in a puddle of my own tears……..
i cant tell u how much this means!!!! how much it warms my heart!!!!! this is so so thoughtful n i just…. thank you so much <3 knowing that u reread any of my fics at all makes me feel so overjoyed pshfkdjd 😭😭😭 and being able to inspire u!! is such a lovely thing!!! im so so glad 🥺🥺
and anon!!! uve probably heard this lots of times but it rlly is true; ur worth is never in any way connected to or decided by ur academic value or exam results!! just try ur best to get thru it w ur mental health intact, n then reward urself properly w lots of good food n rest <333 dont let high school bring u down!! im cheering u on always always always.
but seriously, tysm!! i feel so so lucky to have anons like u 🥺🥺 its sm inspiration and motivation for me too!! im sending u lots n lots of love right back <3333 picking u up and spinning u around!!
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hjeojeo · 2 years
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I was reading some of my old personal journal-esque rambles i’ve written in past and now i feel like
yeah i’ll pick that up again >:)
but god yeah i dont really remember where i last left off so i wont try to pick up where i left off, I’ll just try to like i guess
put a starting point, starting with this one so that i know what i’m just adding onto as i write more journal posts in future
I’m really glad to be using tumblr again cause
wow so many significant changes in my life and growth happened here
first of all I got together with jude cause of tumblr, uhhh...almost 9 years ago!
i went through 2 additional polyam relationships on tumblr
(2015 - 2017 with manie 2020-2022 with beth/venti)
i ran away from my abusive family while on tumblr ...that was probably the biggest one
(it was in 2014)
i learned more about my gender identity and sexuality while on tumblr
OH!!
that’s a big one to talk more about
so i’m planning on making some big steps towards transitioning this year
i first wanna take care of a upcoming surgery for our cat, and then have more brain space to tackle the entire transitioning process like find a gender therapist first to be able to get on hrt
but yeah I”m really looking forward to it and trying to not get too impatient with myself : )
i think a lot of my old journal posts were centered around my mental health and the understandings and growth i would go through
so i think a really important one from recent (by recent i mean either anywhere from few months back to a year ago..my sense of time is p bad) is finally understanding how saving face doesn’t truly protect me. growing up i was heavily conditioned to always save face as if that’s what would protect me as an immigrant, a poc, and as an afab ueer/trans person.
but thanks to long talks with jude, i was able to just like...kinda look at how my life had been and reailzed. it never protected me. it just kinda had hurt me more to have so many layers of not trusting people. but more importantly not trusting myself. cause saving face for me was out of not trusting myself to put my foot down, to say no, to enforce my boundaries, instead i’d manipulate and lie out of uncomfortable situations and feared confrontation the most.
so being able to grow out of that bit by bit has done wonders to my mental health. being able to trust yerself really is just priority when it comes to mental health, imo.
ah lets see
another thing that’s been amazing is
i found out that i have adhd, and iw as able to get on adderall june 2021, and my gosh. my life really turned upside down. being able to be on top of my work made room for more personal enrichment and passions and.
i am so grateful to jude’s and my primary-care-physician for it. rest in peace, clarke, words cant describe what you did for me.
oof okay before i tear up about that.
i’ll wrap up this really like disjointed rambles with one last thing,
nowadays i spend a lot of my time watching my friends stream while i work, or streaming myself, and also part of a new ttrpg campaign and i’ve been so invested in that ; __;
there is so many wonderful stuff being built up in jude’s and my life and i couldn’t be more thankful.
and maybe in future too i might ramble about another wonderful update ;O regarding another polyamorous relationship i approached a long time friend about haha, but i wanna make sure she has the space and privacy to not feel rushed so, im gonna be very reserved about talking about that for now <3
WAIT NO ONE LAST LAST UPDATE
JUDE AND I WATCHED “EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE”
AND WHOOOOOOO god we loved it so much.
definitely my favorite movie of all time now...
i am itching to go watch it again...and when it coems out on bluray cannot wait to get that too...; __ ;
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