#gonna sob and cry now bc of the feels still GOODNIGHT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oculusxcaro · 11 months

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I absolutely love your portrayal of Khare! You thought through about how her mutation works. Which amphibians she was basically fused with and how they each have their own role in her mutation that when brought together makes for a very cool yet terrifying way to live.

Also such a beautiful tragedy with her story. How she had a normal life before being snatched away to get experimented on by Prometheus. Her escape, how the heavy trauma doesn't stop there nor does the practical storytelling as she had to survive in the wilderness on her own for a time. Gaining injuries and of the sort until she ends up in Gotham city. A perfect place to lay low from people who work for Prometheus as there still could be a chance they're out looking for her.

How her mutation slowly spreads, hindering her memory and slowly eating away her mind. And that's ALONG with the eyes and teeth growing all over her body especially after getting juried. The uncertainty of if there is a cure, or a way to keep the mutation at bay. Or if Khare's fate is sealed and she is living on precious time. How one day, she'll loose herself. Every bit that makes her human, the friends she's made, her compassion, kindness, her determination. All her emotions and thoughts slowly decay as she watches her own body deform into something else.

Not to mention how relatable and sympathetic someone may feel when Khare is too scared to tell her family that she's alive because of how powerful Prometheus is. Like, a giant corporation, with MANY connections. Surely they figured out where her family lives and are waiting for the day Khare might return.

All of this to say that you have a perfect balance of tragedy along with a slice of life. The way you write Khare being drained from long shifts hits the nail on the head on how it actually feels like. It's so easy getting entranced with your writing! always worth waiting for as it's always so descriptive even when it's just a few sentences! Khare is just so human and I love it!

Her mutations are very cool but they actually come with a cost and you show it. Which I don't think is done enough in media. (especially with some superhero powers where theirs "comes with a cost" but it actually doesn't show or feel like it does. It's just generic and on top of that the superhero is out doing superhero shit. Contradictory with Khare. Who actually reads and FEELS like a normal person being stuck with powers that come with a cost but only wants a normal life. And actually lives a normal life! That's what makes Khare stand out. Because in the situations where she does fight it feels more genuine and so much less scripted.)

Please tell me your favorite things about my portrayal/muse?

RUUUUUUUUUE, WHY YOU GOTTA SLAY ME LIKE THIS???? 😭😭😭😭 This right here? Is hands down is the loveliest message EVER like... where do we even begin? First and foremost, thank you so, so much for taking the time to write down and send such a dedicated and thoughtful message - it means the world to me, as do YOU in having been such a phenomenal writing partner through both Rorschach and Oswald (and while we're at it, let's not forget Dan!) Receiving such a detailed message about the things you like concerning Khare is just about the highest praise imaginable considering what an excellent writer you are yourself! You have a fantastic eye for storytelling, delving deep into the narrative to shape not only your muse but the world they live in, how they grow and develop through interacting with that world which is not always the easiest take and yet somehow you always make it seem so effortless? Ever since we started talking, your writing has been a huge influence and a stellar example of roleplaying to not only look up to but to admire and emulate. Writing is hard as fuck even on the best of days but you? Have really helped shape my perspective on so many things, how to write well without padding everything with purple prose and to get into a muse's head. Rorschach is a beautiful example of that what with being very much in his head (and not the forthcoming man in his feelings or words.) It's just one of the many reasons I love the relationship our muses have, Rorschach being incredibly unhinged and aggressive as he was during Watchmen but clearly having changed since his untimely demise, awakening somewhere in the middle of Gotham. You've made that feel so real, how very disconcerting it would feel to die only to wake up in a completely different world, in a universe oddly similar yet so different to the one you left behind. And then there's Dan over on @made-of-archimedes, being Rorschach's polar opposite in being so much more approachable and affable but having his 'darker' side present too, his woes, his worries and very real concerns. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you encapsulate personality so well, making your muses feel so very human with minds of their own, as though you've plucked them straight from the movie. You mentioned once before how you didn't feel you did that, that maybe you weren't writing them 'right' but that's not true at all. Your portrayal made me love your two ragingly repressed men and to appreciate their characters all the more after seeing them from your lens. Ah, I'm so sorry to have waffled on like that but honestly Rue, how you're always so kind and thoughtful is a mystery even Dr. Manhatten couldn't solve. Thank you again so much for saying so many wonderful things about Khare! I've tried so hard to describe some of these things (with less success than I'd have liked) so for you to have nailed everything on the head like you did? Means a lot to me, from your thoughts regarding her mutation to her struggles and fears to why she doesn't contact her family back home. She's fucking scared, completely at a loss on what to do or even if she'll manage to survive when every day there's a new tooth or eye to greet her. Her mutation isn't a cute issue at all, instead being the shit-covered end of the stick of gaining a 'useful' power with very heavy costs. Not everybody gets superpowers like Peter Parker and her story is an example of what happens when things go terribly, terribly wrong. Tumblr is getting fucky now and won't save this post so again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for such a lovely, uplifting message! It means so much that you like my silly frog-fish shambling flesh horror of a girl and her relationship with Rorschach is hands down my favourite part about her development as a character! I look forwards to interacting with him (and Dan) much more in future and for their stories to continue!

#the-rorschach-mask #memes ;; what's your favourite thing about my muse?#I am so sorry I typed this all out before and have forgotten the first load of tags asdfghjkl #Tumblr was getting mad about how long this response was and decided to error it so UH #I'm just gonna leave it here before it fucks up again #But people if you aren't already following the-rorschach-mask you are missing out on some prime fucking action!#Their Rorschach is fucking AMAZING and if you like Batman and DC then Watchmen is right up your alley #Rue doesn't shy away from the nitty gritty at all and their portrayal is nothing short of incredinle #Khare loves her violently unhinged repressed gay friend like you wouldn't believe #Rue has been instrumental in my writing and I honestly don't think I'd be half as good or even still writing if not for them #So yeah AAAAAAAAAAAAAA+ person and muse!!!#gonna sob and cry now bc of the feels still GOODNIGHT #tumblr please don't break this post again

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truetogaia · 1 year

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i saw ur post about sub!jake, imma be waiting for that fic ‼️ ur literally writing has me a chokehold bae

I'm just gonna post it answering you bc I can hihihii I LVOE U

Pairing: Sub!Jake Sully x Fem!Reader

Genre: smut, 18+

Warnings: Blowjob, strong language, explicit and mature themes, like use of "Good boy" once, I don't see how thats a warning but YK

Synopsis: Jake is needy thats all

Notes: It's 2:40 am and I JUST finished it, please excuse any bad grammar, i'll edit and fix it tomorrow *SOB* It also lowkey sucks bc IM STILL SUFFERING FROM WRITERS BLOCK IT WONT GO AWAY!!

Word count: around 600!!

Jake’s breathy moans filled your ears as you skillfully planted sloppy kisses along his neck, occasionally letting your sharp fangs drag across his hot, tender skin. His form trembled slightly beneath you, your hand busy tracing gentle shapes up and down his shaft. He mewled when you carefully ran your thumb against his slit, his hips bucking into your hand.

You cherished these moments, adored how obedient and submissive he was, how his ears flicked around intently, listening to every word that seeped from your mouth. But the one thing that made it so satisfactory for you, was that you were able to give him pleasure. The look on his face when he finally reached his climax was etched into the walls of your memories, and you were obsessed with it.

“Please,” his voice was croaky from the hours you had spent teasing his poor, neglected cock, “stop teasn’.. can’t take it anymore y/n- hmnn” You smiled up at him, finally wrapping your warm hands around the base of his needy length. His mouth fell ajar as your smaller hands worked his precum along his shaft, choked moans escaping his throat with each stroke.

You placed a light peck on his angry tip, increasing the speed of your hands, before finally taking it into your wet mouth. The sounds of you gagging on his big cock made Jake’s moans increase in volume, his hands finding a place to sit on top of your braids. You swirled your tongue around his bulbous tip, which earned a loud groan from your mate. You looked up at him through your heavy eyelashes, doe eyes sparkling with stinging tears from taking so much of him, and he swore he could cum right there.

“You’re s’good to me baby, mmm, so so good..” His hips lifted from the ground subconsciously, jerking his cock further into the warmth of your hot mouth. You felt his hands grip your hair tightly, and you braced yourself. Jake was so needy, so desperate for release that you finally decided to let him take control. He began pounding his thick length into your mouth, forcing you to deepthroat him.

His tip abused the same spot in the back of your throat with each lustful thrust of his snapping hips, and you were sure it was going to leave a bruise. “Oh baby, yes, fuck- hnghhh.. your mouth is so good-” His heavy balls slapped against your chin with each buck, thrusts turning erratic as he fucked himself deeper down your sore throat. His orgasm was approaching rapidly and he could no longer control the noises and moans leaving his mouth.

You held out for as long as you could, but considering you couldn’t get any air with the way your nose was basically buried in Jake’s abdomen, your vision was fading bit by bit. The feeling of Jake’s hot seed finally releasing itself into your welcoming mouth made you jump. When he was finished, he slowly pulled out of your mouth.

“Sorry, baby.. I got a bit carried away. I didn't hurt you, did I?.” His eyes carried a genuine, apologetic look, and a warm smile settled on your features. You placed a hand on his thigh, lifting yourself up to stand above him.

“No, It’s okay, love. You were a good boy anyway.” He looked up at your figure with an admiring gaze, taking in all of your ethereal curves and shapes. And just like that, his cock was rock hard again.

RAHH ITS SO BAD ONCE AGAIN IM SORRY IDK WHATS GOING ON WITH MY WRITING MMMMM IM GONNA CRY and now im going to bed goodnight ♡

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wherethegravelsthin · 2 years

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actually im coming to like a whole acceptance thing about this with the tlou remake lmao. like, i can’t get screwed over again as hard as i did with tlou2. it’s just not possible. like, look at it this way: they’re remaking my favorite video game of all time with updated graphics and models and environments and worlds and gameplay, like, obviously the constant remake question of “how badly is this needed” always applies bc it’s a question worth having but also oh my god i am getting fed

like, what’s the worst that could happen. the worst that could happen, imo, is that they shoehorn in tlou2 stuff. i mean, like, yeah. but how bad can that get, really? joel canonically cannot die until part 2 so, like, even if we have to see *bby which if they make story changes, which i’m kinda hoping we maybe see, they will add *bby, but y’know, like, i’ll live. i have watched so many speedruns of part two, including abby% runs, even the shitty parts. i think i’ve built up a resistance. i’m numb to it now

because, like, the other half of “they add new stuff to tlou1 remake” is... like, if one half is adding abby and doing more of the soft retconning of the fireflies that goes on in part 2, like, fine, because that’ll almost all but certainly mean that at some point after i’d have been playing all night on launch day, all of a sudden Joel will hop across some barrier and then it’ll be a whole new area we’ve never even seen before and they’re speaking new dialogue, it’s Joel and Ellie having conversations again --- but new conversations -- o h my goD what if they. what if they used some of the fucking. the old unused lines sob. like when joel nearly combusts at the thought of an espresso. when joel muses that maybe in jackson they’ll have hot water, a place to live and stay and belong. we’re wandering through the university and joel all of a sudden optimistically posits that “you and me, kiddo... we deserve a break.” and and and and and

i think i’d die if that happened. i hope that’s what happens. god. gimmie my father daughter comfort game in 4k. i’ll buy the overpriced fucking stupid fucking piece of shit fucking ps5. while it’s STILL overpriced and HARD TO GET by the way, fuck you for nothing sony, but i’ll STILL be giving you my fucking money by September 2nd and aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHAHHGDHKGSJKNBSGNLKSGDBGKL

i’m gonna go back to the last of us. curls up in a ball. tries not to cry. thinks about how it’s currently tlou season and i just got a big reason to go all nostalgic. title screen fades in, gustavo santaolalla’s music blends seamlessly with wind blowing through the open window, the flies buzzing. goodnight, and i’m fourteen again and i’m going to art camp in connecticut. it’s the summer before i enter high school and my life changes forever but i don’t know it yet. i’m just entering this world of video games and a lot of it seems kinda hostile towards people like me but here’s this game with a girl like me in it, my age and everything. vanishing grace, childhood. summer. this is the beginning of the rest of my life. the weeds seemed especially vibrant that year. so much green. wild chicory flowers dotted the road to camp. i made two friends there whose names i don’t remember, 16 year olds who loved the latest video game everyone was talking about, that i for once knew something about, that we all talked about together. i sculpted a mermaid from clay. the teacher of the class really liked me and my art and encouraged me to find out about ap studio art and continue with it because she said i had a lot of talent. if i listen to all gone for long enough i swear to god i can feel the hot summer sun on my skin if i close my eyes for just long enough, that summer... that i never went back and picked up my mermaid. the summer that i made two friends and never spoke to them again once the two weeks were gone. home fades in and i’m going home, but it’ll never be the warm summer sun on my skin, hope for high school, and the naiveté that can only come with being fourteen.

cries a lot.

#it is 3 am go to sleep gravel #gravel talks

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lihikainanea · 4 years

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can you please write smth where tiger's having a rough migraine but she wont tell bill bc she knew he'd drop work and would be at home in a snap of fingers if she told him smth, and then when he comes home he finds her in her room with all her blinds shut and doors closed to not let the light come through bc it makes her head ache more and its hurting so much already that she had thrown up a couple of times and he's worried and upset that she didnt call him but then takes care of her?

oh goddddd nani babes this is so sweet. As a fellow migraine sufferer, god I feel junk punched by this one.

I don’t know about any of you, sometimes I can feel a migraine come on from a day or two before--something will just feel off, I’ll get a nosebleed, or I have one of those “haha I’m so stressed god it’s a miracle I haven’t gotten a migraine yet” moments and then the next day--BAM. Flattened. Sometimes too, though, they just come out of nowhere. I’ll be fine, and then my vision will skew, my stomach will turn, and I know I have about a 5-10 minute window before I’m in some serious pain.

I get all the symptoms, too. Nausea. Extreme sensitivity to light. Blurred vision, or total blackout vision. Splitting pain. If I’m lucky, it only lasts a day. I’ve had some bad ones that last a long ass time and it’s awful.

So like, look--maybe tiger feels one coming on. Maybe Bill is on set--he’s in town, just on set for 16 hours every day--and tiger has been working like the boss bitch she is. But one morning at work--she feels it. That drilling sensation above her left eye--it’s a headache for now, but the minute the vision in her eye goes wonky she knows what she’s in store for. She quickly packs her shit, pops a few really strong Tylenol in an effort to fight it off (sometimes it works), and she heads home. She has a routine, one that works half the time--some strong Tylenol, a whole bottle of gatorade, and ten minutes later--two espressos. Hydration and caffeine can sometime nip it in the bud, if she’s lucky.

She’s not so lucky this time. She gets these, usually with the change of seasons or the barometric pressure being all off. She half contemplates calling Bill, but when she squints her eyes enough to see the time she realizes that he’s only been on set for two hours, and probably hasn’t even made it out of the make up chair yet. This shoot is a short one and every hour counts, and she can’t ruin his day.

Instead she stumbles to try and get her stuff ready for the long haul--cold compresses, warm compresses, her bottle of pain meds, some water. She barely makes it to bed.

And that’s exactly where she proceeds to stay for the next 14 hours.

The poor bean, it’s awful. The pain is so bad at one point that she dry heaves. And even if she wants to call Bill now, there’s no fucking way she can even function long enough to do that. She can barely speak. She’s just curled up in bed, in complete darkness, trying to relax and not tense up, whimpering in pain.

Bill wraps around midnight--he calls her, but it goes to voicemail. He thinks maybe she might be asleep, but something doesn’t sit right because she hasn’t texted him all day--and when she goes to bed, she always tells him goodnight. It’s a sweet sentiment, but also a warning that his lanky ass better not make too much noise when he comes home, lest he wake her up. He shakes off a feeling of malaise, and heads home.

But the hairs on his neck stand on end when he pulls up and every single one of the lights inside are off. He can’t explain it, but his Little Human alert is dinging furiously and he doesn’t know why. Taking the steps two and three at a time, he swings open the door and calls out to her.

But like, listen--the door whipping open and shutting harshly after, Bill’s loud voice calling for her? Fuck man, that’s torture when you have a migraine. And all he hears is her whimper, her choking sob, and he knows right away. And while he wants to be angry, his first instinct is just...concern. Care. He heads to the bedroom immediately, trying to walk as softly as he can.

“Oh kid,” he whispers lowly. He approaches slowly, crouching on her side of the bed and putting a soothing hand on her. She’s scrunched up so small, tensed in a tiny ball, in way too much pain.

“Billy,” she croaks out, and it’s half sob, half relief, half whimper of pain.

“It’s okay tiger, I’m here,” he whispers, “I got you.”

He’s trying not to talk too much because even a whisper is too loud, and tiger is just kind of full on crying now which is no doubt causing her even more pain.

“Hush,” he soothes, “I’ll be right back.”

There are a few things that help ease some of the pain, but more often than not, she just has to let it pass on its own. He gets some room temperature water and a straw, to help her swallow some more meds. He gets some new cold compresses, and heats up her warm ones. Granny made a ginger tea, a home remedy, that used to help with tiger’s symptoms--so he makes a mug of that.

He makes his way back to the room, puts the straw to her lips for a sip. When she’s done he just gently pushes two pain pills between her lips, giving her the straw back so she can swallow.

He doesn’t want to move her just yet--he will eventually, but he’ll let the pain meds kick in a tad first. Instead he just gently--oh, so gently--replaces the warm compress on her neck, places a new cool one on her forehead. She flinches at that one, and he apologizes softly.

She can’t sit up and sip the tea, and he purposely popped a few ice cubes in so it wouldn’t scald him. But then he just real gently dips two fingers in, and holds them to her mouth. She sucks the tea off of them that way--and he keeps doing it. Just getting a bit of liquid on his fingers and holding them to her mouth so she could wrap her lips around.

His other hand is on her somewhere--her thigh, her side. He wants to weave it through her hair but he can’t touch her head when she’s like this, even the softest head scritchies would still cause her too much pain. When she’s halfway done her tea, he starts on the second part of what usually helps her--just holding her tight, giving her something else to focus on, and pressing on a few pressure points that she taught him.

“I’m gonna move you kid,” he whispers. and she stirs a little. he climbs onto the bed as gently as he can, gathering her in his arms as he sits with his back to the headboard. She lets out an agonized whine.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he murmurs, “It’ll feel better in a second.”

He scoots her up onto him a bit more, cradles her head to his chest. He pats gently at her stomach with one hand, using his other one to pinch hard between her forefinger and her thumb. He alternates between pressing down hard on it, and rubbing slow circles.

It helps, but nothing but time will make it completely go away.

I’ll bet he falls asleep like that, doesn't he? Because pain is an exhausting thing, and after so many hours of it, tiger’s body just kind of shuts down and knocks itself out--and miraculously, she falls asleep. He hears her breaths evening out, feels some of the tension leaving her, and he too kind of sags in relief. He doesn’t dare move once she drifts off, not wanting to wake her. He knows how painful these are for her, and he’s going to have a long talk with her tomorrow about how she should have called him. How he doesn’t ever want her to be in pain like this, for that long, alone again.

But for that night, he drifts off real soon after she does. Propped up against the headboard like that, her all curled up in his arms.

#BFF!Bill #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard drabble #soft bill

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supergirl-writingz · 4 years

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Heartbroken

B!D

Request: Good angst maybe b!d gets her heartbroken and comes crying to her sisters and she's like "they just told me they during love me anymore."

And b! d's happy ending is her sisters make her feel better.

Note: finally posting haha sorry for the delay i have been going thru a LOT lately haha and also sorry i have an uncontrollable need to add lena to every fic i write HAHA if u want me to take her out i will and also i made it a boyfriend bc im bi, i personally like to switch off w writing the love interest being a guy or a girl but if u want me to change that lmk! also this lowkey is bad writing oops i tried

Warnings: heartbreak?

Life was going good. You had a great family, you had great friends, and you had a great boyfriend. You were chilling at home with Kara, Alex, and Lena. They liked Matt, your boyfriend. I mean it’s kind of hard not to, he was a sweet guy. And he always knew how to make everyone laugh. That’s what you loved about him. But lately, things have been weird between the two of you. You haven’t seen him a lot lately, and he’s been distant. You didn’t wanna pry, so you gave him some space.

You, Kara, Alex, and Lena were all watching a movie on the couch. There was a knock at the door.

“I got it” you said getting up. You opened the door to Matt. You smiled and pulled him into a hug. He smiled at you and turned to Lena and your sisters and you all said your hellos.

He turns his head towards you, “Can we talk out here?”

Noticing his serious tone, you nodded quickly.

“I’ll be back in a minute” you called out before following Matt into the hall.

You look at him feeling a little anxious, “What’s up?”

“I think we should break up” he blurted out, staring at the floor.

“What? What do you mean?” you asked, not fully comprehending his words.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.. I just.. I don’t love you anymore” he said sadly.

He pulled you into a hug, you could tell he truly felt bad and this wasn’t a decision he came to lightly. That didn’t make you feel better. He backed away from you and gave you a sad smile.

“Goodbye Y/N” he said and walked off. You couldn’t speak. All you could do was watch him leave. You opened the door and walked back inside.

“Hey, did Matt leave? He didn’t wanna stay?” Alex asked.

All you could do was shake your head. The tears you have been fighting this whole time, came freely pouring from your face. Lena and your sisters quickly noticed and motioned you to the couch.

“Baby what happened” Kara asked softly.

“He broke up with me” you said, the words causing you to cry harder.

“Oh poor darling, did he say why?” Lena asked.

“He just told me he doesn’t love me anymore” you sobbed out.

“Oh my pretty girl, its so hard to see you like this.” Alex said, pulling you close and kissing the top of your head.

“I for one thought from the beginning you were too good for him” Lena said.

This made you laugh for a second, but you went right back to crying.

“Why wasn’t I good enough?” you asked out.

“No baby you are always good enough! Sometimes relationships just don’t work out and we can’t blame ourselves. You are the kindest most beautiful person I know Y/N and I mean that from the bottom of my heart” Kara said softly, making deep eye contact.

“I’m just... I’m just gonna miss him” you said, starting to calm down.

“I know sweetie but it will get better okay? And you always have us” Alex said genuinely.

You were still sad, but you weren’t hopeless. You weren’t sure when you would feel happy again, but sure that one day it would happen... at least you hoped so. You were surrounded by the 3 strongest women people you knew. If they have gotten through the terrible things that they have, you could get through this.

“Thank you guys, honestly I’m fine... I think I’m gonna go to bed now” you said, the exhaustion from crying hitting you. They all gave you sort of sad smiles, but all hugged you goodnight. After you closed your door, they all looked at each other.

“She’s not doing well, but that’s okay. She’ll get through this” Alex says.

Lena nodded in agreement, “She’s strong”

“Yeah, and she has us” Kara added.

No matter who came in and out of your life, you knew that you had certain people who would stick forever, which gave you all the comfort you needed.

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miniyrds · 3 years

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As long as they don’t follow your blog, you could outline it anyways. Venting can be scary but it can also be healthy and provide some catharsis in the midst of all of this. You know, get the metaphorical weight of your chest

I've tried writing this a few times bc my brain is annoying and I keep forgetting things and then over explaining lol

thank u for the excuse to write out my problems on the internet

side note: I tell this humorously now and I know that I could've done things a lot differently, but it still messed me up quite a bit

this can pretty much be broken into several instance so to speak

incident one:

me and my ex-roommate and our two suitemates moved into an on campus apartment in the spring of our 2nd year. I am in my 4th year now. The semester started and we were all really excited to live together with a kitchen. ex-roommate proposed that we alternate cooking for everyone (this only lasted one month). but... ex-roommate’s bf was always over eating our food. this became more of an issue to one of my suite mates but I was fairly annoyed by him being constantly around. anyway, we decide to tell my ex-roommate that we didn’t think he should be over as often etc etc

ex-roommate left for a few hours and came back only to sit us all down and cry about how having her bf over made her feel better bc adjusting to living in an apartment was really hard and there was nowhere else for them to go (he lived in his own room in a different dorm on campus)

we dropped the situation

incident two:

in like February/early march I had gone to bed early while my ex-roommate, her bf, and our suitemates watched a movie until like 2 am. one of my suitemates shouted goodnight and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep. ex-roommate and bf then decide to spend the night together...intimately...while I am right there.

I send her a message the following Monday bc I debated for so long whether or not to tell her that I heard. I told her that I really didn't want her bf staying the night after I had already gone to bed (basically I just wanted a heads up. I didn’t phrase this well)

I ended up getting really paranoid that she was sneaking him in and I confided in my suite mate about this (bad move)

incident three:

a week after spring break, we are getting back from a late showing of Us. It’s after midnight and we can’t find close parking. My suitemates and I offer to walk with her and she says that her bf is gonna walk her back so she’s okay

I say “oh, is [bf] coming over?” (I swear. that’s it)

wrong thing to say apparently. when we get back into the room she starts tearing into me. I don’t remember everything that was said but it started with “do you hate [bf]” and went to

we all hate your boyfriend. he makes us all feel really uncomfortable and he has for the past two years. we just never said anything

you say a lot of hurtful things. if you even think that you said something mean, apologize no matter how much later it is

you hurt [suitemates] feelings by joking about [something]. do u think she doesnt tell me? we tell each other everything

is [ex boyfriend] abusing you? because it seems like he is *never brings it up again or checks on me* (he was slightly toxic but it wasn't thanks to them that I realized it)

“im shocked im not crying rn. im just so mad” (as im sobbing)

I spent the rest of the semester on eggshells around them. I left every weekend I could but that was difficult because I didn't have a car. my ex never stepped foot in my apartment again (cant say the same about her bf)

my ex broke up with me that summer and that hit me really hard because we were co-dependent on each other in the worst way and he said a lot of mean things. ex-roommate hung out with me one time and claimed she was ‘there for me’ and got me thru my breakup. (that award goes to my mom, thanks)

I didn’t move back in with them in the fall. that honestly changed my life

incident four:

I am now in a much better place but I still feel the need to apologize to my new group of friends when I think I said something wrong. (they constantly assure me that I don’t have to) (I apologized to my current roommate for joking about how she cooks ramen and she was like "nat I do not hate u for ramen”)

I am also constantly prepared for another callout. I know I wasn't perfect and I couldve been better about boundaries. I know what to do now should that ever happen again. I feel bad about how it went down

I was not prepared for ex-roommate to turn on one of our suitemates in a me-style callout

I don’t have the full story from both sides but from what I gathered they were all joking in their normal fashion (”___ is my favorite! no ___ is my favorite!”) when ex-roommate took it to heart. this led to suitemate being excluded the moment they were walking out the door etc etc

needless to say, she moved out

ex-roommate took to social media to say “those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. friendship applications closed forever!” after she blocked my suitemate.

this is when I learned that ex-roommate sees nothing wrong with how she treated me. like 0 empathy. I have 2 sources that believe she doesnt feel any at all

a few nights ago she tweeted about my old suitemate and I sent it to her (like a good friend lol). this is when I learned that ex-roommate was always mad that I hung out with other people

conclusion?

this was kinda cathartic. It was more timeline than venting but I have no more real venting thoughts I realized. I've exhausted them. but I do take smug comfort in the random instances that bothered my ex-roommate. we didn’t work as friends or roommates and im still messed up from everything but at least I have really good new friends now :))

#I dont have any tags for this lol #I don't really want it to spread so enjoy

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themarcusmoreno · 4 years

Text

unsteady

an: this doesn’t have a read more bc i don’t know how to do them tbh AND i’m posting from mobile. any errors present are yet again my own. i tried to give my dumbass, baby boy javier what i took away in timing is everything. i suggest listening to this version of the song that inspired the title and i hope that you guys enjoy it, i’m proud of this one. i left this with a possiblity for more, if that’s something you’d like to see let me know! feedback is welcome! //// tagging: @spacedadheadcanons, @bonkybaaarnes, @callingmrsbarnes, @buckywiththegoodglare, @drakecaggiula91, @thatsonehellofajedi, @mando-vibes, @i-like-those-odds, @i-am-forever-a-fan, @fvckingavengers, @ikeatwins776

You found becoming a DEA agent to be an easy task, falling into the training and field work like they were second nature. You made a name for yourself, eager to the fight and quick to solve the issues presented to you. So, when the opportunity came for you to take an open post in Colombia, in Bogotá, you took it. Transportig your life to the new country seemed easy enough but finding your place amongst the senior agents proved troublesome, especially when Javier Peña seemed to be involved. You'd been placed with him and his partner, Steve Murphy. Where Steve had warmed up to you quickly, Javier stayed distant and cold. Every bit the asshole you had been warned he would be.

Over the coming months, you saw small breaks in the persona the man presented. Whether it was when you joined he and Steve for drinks after a particularly rough day or at the "family dinners" that Connie held once a week. You, even in the briefest of moments, got to see a different side of him. One that showed the crinkle of his face as he laughed at one of the jokes Steve shared, the warmth of his smile as he watched Connie with the Murphy’s little girl and even the lingering glance he'd give you as you told stories about your early days as an agent. A smirk played on his lips every time he saw you home safely and bid you goodnight.

"You know if you keep this up I may think you actually like me or something, Peña." A smile spreads across you face as you lean against the doorway of your apartment.

"Now what would give you that idea?" Javier has a smile of his own as watches you, arms crossed over his chest and head tilted upward ever so slighty.

You chuckle and roll your eyes, turning to disappear into your quiet home. "Goodnight, Javier."

A brief wave of somethig like sadness fills his chest as he watces you turn away, his arm aching to reach out and grasp yours but instead he is met with the soft click of your door. "Yeah.. goodnight, cariña." He mumbles, sighing and rubbing his jaw before he backs away to head to his own place just a floor below.

In the coming weeks, you saw more of that change in Javier. Once in him lingering near the entrance of the office long after finishing his cigarette, fresh cup of coffee in hand for the both of you. You hid the soft smile that crept on to your face at the gesture behind your cup, walking along with him as he explaied yet another lead in the hunt for Escobar. You saw it again in him seeking you out after another raid had failed and your team had lost four men. You'd be alone, gathering your own thoughts when the knocking at the door had pulled you from your silence. Wiping your face quickly, you opened the door to him standing there looking no better than you felt. His jaw clenched and eyes tired as he took your appearance in slowly.

"Mind if I come in?" The softness of his request betraying the way his features held such frustration. You gave a slight nod and made your way back to the chair you'd previously occupied. When he speaks again there's something in his tone you can't quite place, concern maybe. "I couldn't find you when we got back. You disappeared and nobody saw where you went. I thought you'd left. I needed - wanted to make sure you were okay."

You were silent a few seconds before you brought your gaze to his, fresh tears threatening to spill. "Would you be? I lost men, Jav. I lost four good men because of a fucking raid I planned." There's a bite to your words, not at the man in front you but at the pain in knowing you'd cost someone their life for something you believed in, something you trusted. A wave of nausea brought you to your feet, the emotions overwhelming. You let the tears fall, not noticing the gentle pressure of Javier's hand on your arm as he pulled you close. You didn't fight him, instead you turned into him and gave yourself over to the sobs that racked your body.

"Easy, cariña. Easy." Javier rubbed the small of your back, holding you close and letting you cry. His heart broke for the pain you felt and the thought of the guilt you carried. "What happen.. What happen today, it wasn't your fault. The best laid plans fall apart every fucking day and I know that better than anyone else. So does Steve. But this, this raid and what happen to those men wasn't your fault. You want someone to blame, you blame me. Not yourself, me. Understand?"

You listened to him, your tears slowing as spoke to you. Firm but gentle. When you did't respond he said your name softly, repeating his question. "Blame me, no one else. Understand?" He gave you gentle squeeze, words slightly muffled by your hair as he rested his chin against you.*You nodded slowly, pulling away from his tear strained shirt, and answering. "I understand but - "

"No buts. You did your job well today and thats what matters for now. Losing men is never easy but we recover, come back harder the next time and you can bet we will. Harder and faster than this time. We'll avenge the fallen and take that bastard Escobar down a peg or two when we do." Javier looks over your face, absentmindedly reaching to brush a stray tear from your cheek. He lets his hand linger before he shakes his head a little and steps back. "You should take the day. I'll get your reports done. Just go home and rest, yeah?"

You don't stop him as he pulls away, don't reach out fo him the way you want, instead you nod slowly and wrap your arms around yourself to savor the bit of his warmth left. "Are you sure, Jav?"

"Positive, miel. Go home, rest and I'll check on you when I get done here." He gives you a soft smile, not hesitating to reach out and brush your hair from your face. "Maybe I'll bring food too."

"Nothing you cook though because I want to survive the night." You smirk, laughing at his look of shock. "Sorry, you're a great agent but a shit cook." When he grumbles a response, you just shake your head and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Jav." You squeeze his arm and smile, glancing back at him before you step out into the hallway.

He feels it then, the unsteady beating of his heart as he watches you leave. The feel of your lips still on his cheek and your scent lingering on his shirt, he knows what it is but he won't say it, at least not aloud. He just sighs, "Shit..."

The month that follows is different, you can't place it but something is different between you and Javier. He's more attentive, checks in on you more frequently. Lingering touches, soft smiles and few too many quiet moments shared for you to keep ignoring whatever may be there growing between the two of you. You don't get to bring it up to him, address the elephant in the room, before another wave of information comes in. Leads you needed to help the raid you, Javier and Steve were planning. Though leery to go out again, your partners encouragement had you eager to finally put a dent in the armor Pablo Escobar thought he wore.

"We've get every possibly scenario covered. Too many guards, too few guards. Nothing in the lab, something in the lab. Civilians present, no civilians present. I'm not saying it's perfect but its about the best damn plan we've had in a while." Steve looks up from the map to the small gathering of men, including you.

"Doesn't mean we shouldn't be careful. Expect the unexpected, I don't want another repeat of last time." Your arms cross over your chest as you look at everything spread across the table. “Everyone gets a vest, everyone has a partner. You watch each others back. We work quickly, we get home faster."

"Well you heard her. Date prisa, go get the gear and be out front in ten." Javier gives your arm a firm squeeze and winks before he joins the other men leaving the room.

You feel his gaze on you before you speak, sighing as you look at Steve. “What Murph?"

"You gonna tell him?" Steve quirks an eyebrow as he pops his gum and rocks on his heels.

Your breath catches and you brush it off as a cough as you start to speak again. "I don't know what you mean. There's nothing to tell anyone."

Steve scoffs, shaking his head as he gathers things from the table. "Uh huh. You keep telling yourelf that, darlin.” He smiles and squeezes your shoulder, "If it helps, he feels the same way. I've been that asshole's partner long enough to know when he's fallen for someone and that someone happens to be you." He heads towards the door, glancing back once more. "Just... Just don't wait too long to tell him. With our job, we aren't always promised tomorrow. But I told him the same thing and so far no one has made a move.”

You hesitate in the now quiet room and let Steve's words sink. Whatever you felt, Javier felt it too. You wouldn't wait past today, you'd tell him as soon as you could. "I'll tell him tonight." With vocal confirmation, you nodded to yourself and went out to join your men.

Javier had been right that day in the office as he held you close, the best laid plans really do fall apart and its usually in the worst of ways. There had been an ambush waiting, a leak from your own department tipping the guards off. You were all outnumbered before you even got there, but when you did you gave them hell. Losing two of your own men as they worked to stop the assault. When the man you'd paired yourself with was taken down, you felt the fear of not making it set in. It make you hyper aware, but not enough. Javier had covered your six after your partner went down, keeping an eye on Steve as well. That's how he saw him, lurking just out of your peripheral vision and coming up fast. The solid body crashing into you was enough to distract you from the shots but when the body didn't hurriedly move, you knew something was wrong. You shifted enough and the body of your protector landed beside you, causing him to groan lowly. You could see the blood pooling slowly, panic rising as your eyes traveled up to his face. Javier.

"Steve, fuck! Steve, get some medic here. Javi is shot, he's bleeding out!" You look around for Steve, locking eyes with him as he brings his walkie to his mouth.

"Necesito abulancia. Oficial de policía abajo." He listens to the feedback and curses. "Goddamnit! They're ten minutes out, he got that long?"

You survey the area of the pooling blood, grimacing at the pained sound Javier produces. "Maybe.. I can't be sure. He took a couple rounds, looks like they went through but its not good. It doesn't look good, Murph." You feel the familar burn of tears as they start to form. Steve's voice fading away as you look down to the soft call of your name. "Jav? Take it easy for me, okay? Try not to move."

Javier blinks softly, the vision of you him above edged in darkness. "Mi sol.." He winces, grasping at your hand as you press it against the wounds. "Oh mi sol, I'm sorry."

His sun. You blink back tears as you look him, cupping his face carefully with your free hand. "Javier, why? Why would you do this?" You don't hold back, letting the tears fall freely. The sound of the ambulance outside not pulling you from the moment. "Javi, why? I don't - I can't lose you now."

Javier smiles, its weak and fading but he smiles as he squeezes you hand and starts to lose consciousness. "This.. This is about keeping you alive." When he starts to drift off, he hears hurried spanish and your cries.

A week. Javier Peña lays in a drug induced coma for a week before he starts to become aware again. Its slow at first, a groan that has you gathering a nurse then a few mumbled curses as starts to fully wake up. You watch him drink slowly from the cup of offered water. Closing his eyes again before he slowly opens them once more to scan the room, you hear his breath catching softly as he looks at you. You don't hear the nurse leave, you don't feel yourself move until your close to his side and his hand is in yours. The warm, tan skin familiar and welcome in your grasp.

You get choked up as you start to speak, the reassuring squeeze of his hand in yours bring the words forward. "I.. I thought I lost you."

Javier's voice comes out soft, raspy from lack of use. "Can't kill me if they wanted to, miel. I'm too fucking stubborn to die." He laughs and grimaces, shifting in the bed for you to have room to sit.

You reach up, rubbing his cheek gently once you finally join him. "Well you at least got the stubborn part right." You tease, wiping your eyes as you look at him. Stubble lines his jaw and chin, his hair unkempt and you know he's never looked better. Never looked more alive.

"What's on your mind?" He questions, running his thumb over your knuckles as he watches your eyes shift over him.

"Do you remember what you said? Before you blacked out?" You work your lip between your teeth before he slowly reaches up and pulls it free.

"Si." He cups your cheek, no hesitation in his movements. "Por qué?"

"What did you mean? 'This is about keeping you alive.' What does that mean?" You lean into his hand, savoring the feel of him against your skin.

Javier shifts, taking his hand from your face and wincing he sits up more. When he's finally up and stable, he leans in presses a soft kiss to your lips. Sighing against your mouth as you return his affection, he breaks the kiss and rest your foreheads together. "It means that I can't picture my life without you in it and I don't want to. I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you that, to tell you I love you."

You smile, matching his own as you kiss him again. "Glad to know it takes almost dying to get you to confess your feelings." You joke, closing your eyes and basking in the moment with Javier. "I love you too and I'm not going anywhere."

#*unsteady #javier peña x reader #javier peña #javier pena x reader #javier pena #narcos #pedro pascal#pedro pascal character x reader #pedro pascal character #ash writes

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okaybutlikeimagine · 5 years

Note

Susan scolding Billy for something and maybe says something in the heat of the moment like ”this is why your dad treat you like this” and Billy says that Neil is not his father. But Billy also feels that its his fault he blames himself for getting beaten. And he runhome to hop and collapse in his arm and stays there for a long time as hop comforts him

Ohmydearme okay i dunno if this is what you were thinking of but i got real angsty thinking about this and made myself wanna cry bc like??

{TW: implied homophobia, implied abuse}

Let’s collectively think about Billy at the grocery store (bc i don’t think i’ll ever get sick of thinking of Billy doing little mundane tasks like grocery shopping) to pick up some random things like milk and a box of pasta or something, when he turns down the dairy aisle and locks eyes w/ a red haired woman he hasn’t seen in months standing at the other end of the walkway.

Susan.

And Billy leaves the aisle immediately bc he’s not about to deal w/ this shit. He doesn’t want to see her and he doesn’t want to handle it. But she fucking follows him, no matter where he’s going she’s peering around corners and looking at him w/ her tired eyes and he’s just gonna leave at this point when she finally bumps into him.

“Oh! Billy! What a surprise. I’m actually glad to run into you.” She says, clearly nervous as she fixes her cardigan absent-mindedly.

Bullshit. You fucking forced this.

“Sorry, can’t say the same.” Billy says with that charming smirk he gives to all of the middle aged mothers in Hawkins, except this one is laced with poison and is aimed at someone who is most definitely immune to it.

“Come on now, Billy.” Susan’s eyebrows are furrowed, her eyes disapproving but still semi-fearful. Her eyes are always fearful. “I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

And Billy is standing there basically stranded with a row of cheeses on one side and ice cream on the other and this woman in front of him so he just sits in his hip and looks at her expectantly.

She clears her throat.

“I just… wanted to talk to you. Because… well… there’s no real easy way to say this, is there?”

She seems nervous. For a second Billy thinks this is going to turn into something about Neil. A million reasons why this woman would want to talk to him run through his head all at once. They all scare him, until he comes to find this isn’t about anything he was thinking of.

“It’s just, my friends have been telling me that they’ve been… seeing you with a boy. Pretty frequently. Sometimes they say you get rather close to him and… well they’re starting to question my parenting because they know I’ve been your mother for-”

“You’re not my mother.” Billy grinds out and it seems to take Susan aback.

“I- I… well yes, of course not. Of course not.” Her voice is quiet as she says it.

She looks at Billy with that same hint of fear in her eyes. Billy’s stare is stone. Susan continues.

“I just had to tell you that it’s all getting so… well so embarrassing, honestly.”

“Embarrassing?” Billy’s arms are crossed, jaw tight, eyes fixed.

“Yes. You’ve put me in an incredibly embarrassing situation. And I can only think of how embarrassing it must be for Maxine, too.”

Billy’s seeing more red than just Susan’s hair.

“Well Susan, I have good news for you. You’re out of my life now and what I do with the local boys is none of your fucking concern.” He’s smiling something poisonous and harsh that Susan would normally shrink at, and she does for a second, before she puffs herself up.

“That’s absolutely no way for you to speak to me, young man.”

Billy’s going to throw fists at the mozzarella balls next to him. He takes a heavy breath. Susan looks like she’s about to step on a real high fucking horse.

“I just had to tell you that people are starting to talk. They say you... you might be… that thing that your father always said you were.” She’s shaking her head, looking anywhere but Billy for a second. “I’m just showing concern for you, is all. I don’t understand this hostility-”

“Well I can explain it to you. It’s because this is none of your fucking concern. I left for a goddamn reason.”

“Billy, really-”

But Billy isn’t done. He takes a step forward, looking down on her with a stare to melt ice, his gaze completely blinded by the warm rage clouding his mind because he’s fucking pissed and his whole body is shaking and his hands are slowly morphing fists and then he’s growling:

“And it wasn’t to listen to shitty warnings about what your hive-mind, hope-to-be-divorcee friends think of me. I don’t fucking care, so kindly stop talking to me and go grab your low fat cream cheese and your copy of Cosmo and cry yourself to sleep about how your husband doesn’t touch you enough.”

His mind is completely fogged up and racing and it’s not until he’s done talking that he starts to see again. Starts to cool down enough to even register Susan’s face in front of him and it’s one of pure submissive fear. Something he thinks he’s felt before, just by looking at it. Susan has always had fear in her eyes, has never stood up for herself, and Billy is so sure this is going to be another instance bc nothing in his experience has ever proved otherwise. But suddenly her gaze hardens over and she starts breathing harder and she’s huffing like a fucking chain smoker before she says, with venom in her gaze:

“I used to question it, but really it’s no wonder that your father treated you the way he did.”

And in a split-second, Billy’s world freezes over. He’s been stuck with shot of ice. He’s completely frozen solid as he watches Susan’s face once again slip into that fearful submission. He thinks maybe she’s going to be as meek and timid as she always is. It was just a blip and she’s about to start apologizing profusely, like she always does when she makes somebody upset.

But no.

No, she hardens up. She straightens her back. She looks Billy dead in the eye. This is the rock she’s chosen to stand on. This is the comment she’s decided to stick up for. This is the side she’s chosen. It’s this. And it’s against Billy. It’s saying Billy deserved everything she’s seen Neil do to him.

It’s getting hard to see again, but this time it’s blurry instead of red.

“That man is not my fucking father.” is all Billy can muster up.

They stare at each other for a good few seconds before Susan looks to the people who are slowing down near them. Ever concerned about her public image.

“I think you should go now.” She says like she fucking owns the store, like he’s not fucking welcome in this public grocery store.

He wants to fight. Wants to scream and kick and punch and just break something. But he turns on his heels and he leaves with what feels like a storm of emotions trailing him out and he drives back home in a rush of blurry red that honestly inhibits his driving more than alcohol does most times and he’s walking into the cabin and slamming the door behind him and Hop is standing in the kitchen with a mug of something and confused concern in his eyes and a question of: “Billy? What’s wrong?” on his lips and Billy is falling apart.

Unraveling and spiralling and falling falling falling because he sees Neil every time he closes his eyes. He sees that red face and that mouth full of spit and those eyes full of fire at every little thing and he hears himself. Hears what he just said to Susan not 10 minutes ago. Those horrible things that he knows were horrible but he still said them because he’s just looking for attention, just isn’t disciplined enough, needs to learn respect and responsibility and the consequences to his actions.

His vision is too blurry to see anything but angry and red and puffing Neil, looming above him and knocking him down and his knees can’t physically hold him anymore because he’s unraveling, thread by thread unraveling so fast that he falls and lands on something hard but soft, surrounding his torso because he didn’t fall down, he’s fallen into something and it’s rumbling something low and quiet and-

“Billy? Billy, let’s sit down, okay?”

And once he’s seated he realizes it’s Hop. It’s Jim. and the rage is inside of him because fuck he can’t fucking get rid of it, some days it feels like it just fucking lives there and he’s gathering the fabric of Jim’s shirt up in his fists hard and he’s burrowing his face into Jim’s chest and he’s just sobbing. Everything inside of him bubbling out like a soda bottle and the world is black yet blurry and red with that spit filled mouth of anger and he just feels so weak. Weak from crying, weak for crying, weak in his mind and his body and he just stays there. They stay there. For what feels like too long to be real, they stay there.

And Hop holds Billy until he feels the boy’s shoulders relax. Until the grip on his shirt is free. Until he stops hearing the mumbled ramblings of I deserved it I deserved it I deserved it being spoken against his chest.

He asks Billy if he wants to talk about it because he’s learning about this stuff as he goes and he knows sometimes Billy can’t talk. Billy shakes his head no.

They listen to a record and drink some hot chocolate and Billy stops shaking about half an hour before El comes home from hanging out with her friends. She immediately notices his red eyes and his runny nose and asks Billy if he wants to borrow one of her stuffed animals as a sleep buddy. He thanks her and lets her hug him before he heads to bed. Sends Hop a quiet “goodnight” and the smallest smile imaginable before he climbs under his covers. But he doesn’t shake through the night and actually gets some sleep and that’s enough to feel like an accomplishment right now.

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aaronhart93-archive · 4 years

Text

text ll Aaroman

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @romanbeckett

Mentions: none

When: morning of July 10, 2020

Description: Aaron sees Roman’s text in the group chat about crying every night and reaches out to him

Trigger Warnings: mentions of drug use

Aaron.

are u really crying everyday Ro

Roman.

where did you hear that

Aaron.

*thinking face*

Roman.

I’m okay

Aaron.

please talk to me

Roman.

I want to. Trust me. I want to so bad, it’s all I can think about. But what do I fucking say? I’ve never been so speechless in my life.

Aaron.

you’re all I can think about

I get drunk and do dumb shit bc it distracts me from thinking about you but you’re literally all I think about otherwise

Roman.

I want to believe that Aaron but I feel like just a huge phase

Aaron.

oh my god

Roman I’m so sorry

you’re far from a phase

Roman.

you went out and fucked every girl you could find

Aaron.

I love you. You’re far from just a hook up or experiment

I did that for my first two break up, when Ali told me she was pregnant, when my dad died, I’m not saying it’s healthy but it’s what I do

Roman.

I’m just. I don’t know what to think.

Aaron.

I’m so sorry I’m making you feel this way

I’ll stop sleeping around

Roman.

Aaron it’s too late for that

just don’t worry about it

listen, I’m not mad at you.

it hurt. Yeah. Especially when you hit on everyone in the group chat where I can see it, but. You’re single. You can do as you please.

Aaron.

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you

maybe I was trying to make you jealous but I was also drunk for most of that

Roman.

well it worked, so hopefully that pleases you.

because it’s not hard enough.

Aaron.

tell me what you want from me please

Roman.

Aaron, nothing. I don’t have any right at all to be upset, or jealous, or whatever else. I don’t have any rules as far as what I need you to do.

please don’t feel any pressure from me to walk on glass.

I care about you. I’m not mad. I’m not anything right now other than stressed, and nervous.

Aaron.

about the show or other things?

Roman.

the show is all I’m allowing myself to really focus on right now.

Aaron.

okay I’ll leave you alone

Roman.

that’s not what I meant

Aaron I’m sorry. I know this is all such a fucking mess.

Aaron.

it really is

I’m confused.

Roman.

me too.

I think we’re doing the best thing right now, letting everything blow over. Giving it time.

Aaron.

yeah but why do I feel so fucking shitty

Roman.

try just focusing on des, and being the best father for her. Drinking and having sex with everyone helps, I know, but don’t do anything that could hurt your relationship with your daughter

or hurt yourself. I don’t want that. I hate that I’ve ever brought any negativity to your life. I feel like I’ve been nothing but trouble to everyone from day one.

Aaron.

I don’t know why you keep saying that because you have so many people in town who would drop everything to help you. Especially me.

Roman.

I know that. That’s the problem. That’s why I hurt so many people.

bleh idk. I know why I say that stuff it seems so selfish

I love everyone so much and just don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.

Aaron.

you love so hard, I wish you would let other people love you back

Roman.

how

Aaron.

accept that people love you enough that they want to make sacrifices for you, that they’re willing to go out of their way for you, to go so upset at the idea of loosing you that they get drunk and wonder around drunk on the beach or get drunk every night and sleep with random women bc they’re trying to forget that they have to fall asleep and wake up without you next to them. Whether they love you as a friend or as a lover, I’m not just talking about me. Landon, Jaycee, khai, Ava. People want you in their lives. Let them let you into their lives. You’re so quick to take on everyone else pain but sometimes people want to help you with yours too. And yeah it fucking hurts but that’s what you do for the people you love.

Roman.

Aaron...

fuck. I’m sobbing lol wow. Ugh.

I hate you lol

Aaron.

lol

it’s just been on my mind so

Roman.

that’s what I thought I was doing here. Hurting, but doing it for the people I love.

Aaron.

no I know but you do it too damn often and now it’s wearing on you, AND you don’t let other people do it back.

Roman.

I want to believe that so bad. I feel like all I do is hurt people.

Aaron.

when you hooked up with Khai and Landon and broke up with me that fucking hurt. But I can name 5 good things you brought into for each time you hurt me. You’re so worth it I don’t know why you can’t realize that

Roman.

I don’t know.

in my mind...I’ve made you spiral.

and it fucking scares me.

Aaron.

man, I did that my damn self.

at the same time though you make me so fucking crazy and it scares me that I love you that much

Roman.

I don’t like that I make you hurt yourself.

Aaron.

maybe. But. There are healthier ways of coping that I elect not to do

Roman.

well yeah, but will you? It’s not even about the sex as much as it scares me that you did coke.

there are so many ways it can go wrong.

Aaron.

oh that’s what you’re talking about

It was fucking stupid

Roman.

I mean everything, but that scares me the most.

Aaron.

I’m not gonna do it again

for my kid

Roman.

good.

she’s the most important in all of this

Aaron.

yeah she is

Roman.

and I know you know that but.

she loves you so much

Aaron.

I don’t even wanna know the person I’d be without her

like think spiraling Aaron but all the time

she really woke me tf up

Roman.

I’m glad because you’re worth so much more.

Aaron.

gee thanks

Roman.

you are

Aaron.

yeah well so are you

Roman.

I know. I really want to work on being better.

Aaron.

I’ll work on being better if you work on being better

Roman.

lol deal!

Aaron.

please sleep. You have a show to work on in the morning.

Roman.

yeah. I just laid down. Going to try my best.

Aaron.

I could send you another one of Des’ favorite bed time stories

Roman.

lol please

Aaron.

There was once a prince who wanted to marry a princess. But she must be a real princess, mind you. So he traveled all round the world, seeking such a one, but everywhere something was in the way. Not that there was any lack of princesses, but he could not seem to make out whether they were real princesses; there was always something not quite satisfactory. Therefore, home he came again, quite out of spirits, for he wished so much to marry a real princess One evening a terrible storm came on. It thundered and lightened, and the rain poured down; indeed, it was quite fearful. In the midst of it there came a knock at the town gate, and the old king went out to open it It was a princess who stood outside. But O dear, what a state she was in from the rain and bad weather! The water dropped from her hair and clothes, it ran in at the tips of her shoes and out at the heels; yet she insisted she was a real princess. “Very well,” thought the old queen; “that we shall presently see.” She said nothing, but went into the bedchamber and took off all the bedding, then laid a pea on the sacking of the bedstead. Having done this, she took twenty mattresses and laid them upon the pea and placed twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses The princess lay upon this bed all the night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.”Oh, most miserably!” she said. “I scarcely closed my eyes the whole night through. I cannot think what there could have been in the bed. I lay upon something so hard that I am quite black and blue all over. It is dreadful!”It was now quite evident that she was a real princess, since through twenty mattresses and twenty eider-down beds she had felt the pea. None but a real princess could have such delicate feeling So the prince took her for his wife, for he knew that in her he had found a true princess. And the pea was preserved in the cabinet of curiosities, where it is still to be seen unless some one has stolen it. And this, mind you, is a real story.

goodnight, Ro

#discord #text: roman #text #roman #listen I was high af when we were doing this

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askthetotallynotcampcamp · 4 years

Note

I AM LOVING THE NERRIS X HARRISON CAN I HAVE A FULL STORY OF IT P L E A SE

Ava: of course!! We'll start writing it after we finish the one we're doing now:)

OKAY WE'RE WRITING IT NOW

Okay so it's the next summer and the first day on camp

---------

Nerris: *runs off the bus* HI DAVID!

David: why hello Nerris! Glad to see you here again! Everyone is in the mess all!

Nerris: alrighty thanks! *runs into the mess hall*

Harrison: *is straight up vibin*

Nerris: HARRISON!

Harrison: Hello Nerris!!

Nerris: *runs up to him and hugs him* HIIIII

Harrison: Hey!! *hug yummy* How was your year?

Nerris: oh it was great! I went to Harry Potter world with my parents and got so many wands and capes!

Harrison: That’s awesome!! I didn’t, uh do much with my parents.

Nerris: well um- I missed you!!

Harrison: i missed you too!!

Nerris: *sits next to him* so, did ya do anything for Christmas? *v happy*

Harrison: uhh not really-

Nerris: well you're always welcome to come over my house whenever ya want! *swinging her legs*

David: wow Gwen, harrison and nerris are getting along this year! Isnt that great?

Gwen: yeah, sure. they’re into eachother, though

David: I know you're into trash tv but dont go around shipping our campers!

Gwen: David how stupid are you? Can you not s e e

David: what? They're having a friendly conversation!

Gwen: David come ON- look at them!

David: they arent holding hands or kissing!

Gwen: Okay, well, here’s a shock, you don’t always have to do that to be in love

David: l-love? They're just kids!

Gwen: Oh come ON did you not have crushes as a kid?

David: well- we dont talk about that Gwen! They're probably just really good friends- I guess friends stare at the other person like they're in love- oh my gosh they are! Or at least Harrison is

Gwen: What do you me we don’t talk about that- see you agree with me now!

David: I think Harrison has a thing for her but nerris doesbt have a thing for him- she always ends up fighting with him

Gwen: David you have never been with a girl, have you? That’s how girls hide their FEELINGS

David: no I havent but that's not important! So she hides her feelings by telling him he sucks?

Gwen: ugh you make it sound like you like guys- yes david that is what i am trying to ge through your head

David: oooo I'm gonna make this be their best summer yet *walks up to them* hello guys! So I'm giving out rent information and you and Harrison will be sharing a tent this year! *walks back to Gwen* bam!

Gwen: oh sweet jesus- okay, i’m out this is out of my control now. peace *goes to councilorlrorleoldleldosrs cabin casually*

Nerris: oh yay! Let's go set up our beds! *runs outside to the tents*

Harrison: *S p e e d s to nerris*

Nerris: okay which side do you want buddy!

Harrison: Uh, the left?

Nerris: okay! *throws all her D&D blankets on the bed* ah home sweet home

Harrison: *vibes onto his bed*

Nerris: this may seem like a stupid question, but are ya still doing magic camp this year?

Harrison: Yeah, I haven’t been able to bring my brother back yet *a wkward laugh :”)*

Nerris: *hugs him* I know I'll probably end up yelling at you about something later but you can always talk about it whenever you want if you need to. I'm here

Harrison: Awww!! Thank you Nerris!!

Nerris: oh uh- you're welcome!

Harrison: *h u g*

Nerris: oh- *hugs him back bc shes nerris*

Harrison: *:))))*

Nerris: so, show me your newest trick! Unless you're addicted to hugs *giggles*

Harrison: Oh!! Ok!! *boop capowie flowers magic pew pew* Flowers for you, my lady

Nerris: *red* that was amazing! *claps*

Harrison: I know, right!

Nerris: Imma go get a vase from Gwen for the flowers! *runs to the cabin with the flowers* hey gwen, do have a vase by any chance?

Gwen: uhhh, there might be some in the kitchen. why?

Nerris: *shows her the flowers* Harrison did a new magic trick and gave me flowers!

Gwen: oh wow! that’s nice.

Nerris: yeah! *gets a vase from the kitchen and runs back to their tent* bam, vase

Harrison: Wow okay!! Do you have any new things to show me?

Nerris: yesyesyes!! I got new D&D dice!! *takes out the bag and puts them in her hands* it's even better because me and my dad made them!

Harrison: Oh wow!!! That’s super cool!!

Nerris: I also got a new wand but it was "too big" according to my mom so I couldn't being it *:(*

Harrison: Oh no, you can have one of mine if you want!

Nerris: oh my god really?! Thankyouthankyouthankyou- *hug*

Harrison: *hug :D*

Nerris: it's getting late...do we sleep or be rebels!

Harrison: let’s be rebels!

Nerris: ooooo Harrison the bad boy! *pats a spot next to her on her bed* I brought my tablet teehee

Harrison: *l e a p s onto Nerris’s bed* how rebellious!!

Nerris: you've never stayed up, have you?

Harrison: uhhh, no not really

-after they'd been watching videos for awhile-

Nerris: *rests her head on Harrisons shoulder*

Harrison: *has his arm around Nerris 😳😳*

Nerris: *yawns* I'm tired Harrison...

Harrison: go to sleep!

Nerris: but arent you gonna sleep in your bed? I dont wanna fall asleep on you *sleepy giggles??*

Harrison: you can fall asleep on me if you want *teehee giggle*

Nerris: *sleep*

Harrison: *😳😳* goodnight then- *kisses nerris’s head and goes to sleep ahahahaha*

-3 am-

Nerris: *wakes up* huh... oh- *v red*

Harrison: *sleeps shyly*

Nerris: *cuddles Harrison bc crush*

Harrison: *AWAKENS* huh- oh god-

Nerris: *pretends to be sleeping*

Harrison: uh, *speeds over to his bed and sleeps there bc 😳*

Nerris: *sleep*

Time: it is day kachow

Harrison: *sleep tiem*

Nerris: ugh Harrison wake up I'm boredddddd

Harrison: *SLEEPING*

Nerris: *jumps on him* WAKE UPPPP

Harrison: HUH *IFNSKSNSKSNSKSNSKSNS*

Nerris: oh goodmorning!

Harrison: Hi nerris-

Nerris: hi Harrison! *smiles at him*

Harrison: *:D*

Nerris: *pulls him up but now shes like sitting in his lap😳* so what do ya wanna do today?

Harrison: Uhh, we could see what the rest of the camp is doing? *😳😳*

Nerris: alrighty! *runs out of the tent* meet ya there!

Harrison: *😳😳😳* *speeds out*

-at lunch-

Nerris: *chilling with her food*

Harrison: *w a l k s over to nerris* Hi Nerris!

Nerris: oh hey Harrison!

Harrison: Could I uh, sit next to you?

Nerris: uh yeah I guess

Harrison: Thanks, *s i t* so, how are you?

Nerris: I'm good?

Harrison: cool cool cool *😳😳😳😳*

Nerris: why the hell are you so red? And sweaty? Sick people shouldnt be at camp and you look pretty sick to me *grossed out expression*

Harrison: Hey I’m not sick! You’re the sick one! *😳😳😡😡*

Nerris: Mhm, I dont think my face could even get as red as yours magic boy

Harrison: Oh really? I’ll make it go red with magic

Nerris: still wont be real. Your magic cant do anything against me, it's all silly old tricks *crosses her arms*

Harrison: Your “magic” is just rolling stupid dice and then yelling about it!

Nerris: *holding back tears and walks out of the hall*

Harrison: oh shoot- *regrets all his life choices*

Nerris: *sitting in the tent talking to herself while holding the dice* hes right, you're just stupid dice! You dont do anything! You're worthless! You dont make anything better! You suck nerris! I hate you!- *breaks down*

Harrison: *sp e eds to the tent* Nerris- nerris i’m so so so sorry i honestly didn’t mean it i was just confused and i feel bad and i’m so sorry-

Nerris: no it's fine. You're right. My "magic" isnt even magic, its stupid! They're just a game board a dice! *takes off her hat and cape* it's stupid.

Harrison: nerris- come on, please- it isn’t stupid! it’s really really cool!!

Nerris: that's not what you said a couple minutes ago, is it Harrison?! You called it stupid! If it's really really cool, why didnt you say that? And you werent confused, we've been fighting since the day we met, and you know that.

Harrison: Nerris come on, i really didn’t mean it. If we’re using that logic, then my magic is stupid too. *throws his h a t on the FLOOR* now we both feel stupid, how about that?

Nerris: i-..*hugs him sobbing*

Harrison: hey, uh, it’s okay, don’t cry- *hugs nerris sadly and shyly 👉👈*

Nerris: i- I'm s-sorry * still crying😳*

Harrison: I’m the one who should be sorry, I took it too far. It’s okay, don’t worry about it *pat pat*

Nerris: thank you Harrison *smiles at him and kisses him on the cheek*

Harrison: *😳😳😳😳😳* uhhh, yeah, no p-problem

Nerris: damn you blush easily *giggles*

Harrison: you make it easy to *😳😳*

Nerris: *😳* shut up

Harrison: ha, whos blushing easily now? *picks up nerris’s c a p and c a p e* i believe these belong to you, my lady?

Nerris: *picks up his hat and puts it on his head* there you go my good sir

Harrison: I’m sorry about what i said earlier, that was too much

Nerris: *holds his hands* it's okay Harrison

Harrison: *blushes shyly and cutely* yeah, i guess

Nerris: I'm serious. It's okay. And I'm sorry too, I swear I didnt mean anything. I have to make it up to you- I'll do anything *smiles at him*

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svnbursted · 5 years

Note

📱 + ana!

What was my muses 5 last sent texts yours?

✉ → i’m texting you even though you’re literally here because i can feel your foot rubbing up on my thigh, can you please not rub my thigh with your foot or leg or hand this is a very important meeting i need to remain composed CAN YOU PLEASE STOP RUBBING OH MY GOD THAT’S MY CROTCH I’M GONNA✉ → babe guess what? the internet is working REALLY fast here at the shack so i’m thinking of downloading a few more shows for us to marathon tonight. also kind of stressed bc a costumer threw fucking pizza at me for being late so yeah, might not be sleeping much later. what’d ya wanna watch?? i have errrrr masterchef junior season 3-5 downloading atm. movies maybe? some scary stuff? ✉ → hey, i didn’t see you at work or anywhere else outside the apartment today. everything alright? should i come over? let me know if you want me to. i’ll cook up something. i’ve learned to make the perfect poached eggs and toast (i shall un-lame them!) or if you just need me to hold onto or hold you i’ll be there right away ✉ → no specific reason for this text to be honest. just wanted to wish you goodnight. sleep well, rockstar ❤️✉ → can’t fucking sleep at all. kept jolting awake. i hope you’re resting right now but if you aren’t and you have extra energy, come sneak up to the roof and watch city lights with me. there’s something fascinating and calming about observing the nightlife from up here. i can draw you, if you want. you’d look amazing bathed in these gleaming rays. or we can just make out and bang butts, that’d be neato too.

What was my muses 5 last unsent texts yours?

✉ → i keep checking on you whenever i wake up first in panic. it still haunts me sometimes, the fucking fear of waking up just to see blood on my hands and you bloodied or fading away suddenly, surely, like ash. i guess there are parts of me that’ll never get rid of these thoughts, they’ve been glued to my head for years. ✉ → you give me peace and i haven’t had that in such a long time. ever since i was a kid even. that’s why i often get confused and freak the fuck out. part of me still thinks i don’t deserve it. ✉ → you cry in your sleep sometimes. felt your body shake and sob when you thought i was fast asleep or maybe you were just too deep in your slumber. i wish i could make it all better, the way you’ve always managed to calm some of my nightmares. trying my best. ✉ → my mom would adore you, i think. i don’t talk about my parents a lot and she’s sick and bedridden in sanya, but she’s a sweetheart and i think she would gush over your cooking or make up skills or your dresses. maybe all three at once. maybe i should give her a call✉ → come to china with me. travel the world. see forests and mountains and everything in between.

What my muse saved your number as?

✆ - RED 💕

What contact photo my muse has set for yours?

What ringtone my muse has set for yours?

✆ 10 hour version of Careless Whisper’s Saxophone.

How many times my muse has called your this week?

Pretty often, tends to call to let her know she’s close when she’s about to walk her home. Occasionally calls late at night after making sure she’s awake and good for it to have a little talk before sleep, if none of them is staying over.

How many calls has my muse missed from yours?

A few, Heather often misses calls when she’s doing delivery work but checks on them as soon as she gets her phone back.

#&& answers.#p: anabelle #s: but god i look at you and know hell is just another place i'll go to keep you warm ( ana / heather )#heather is a Chaotic soft gay #but like i keep picturing she's in a serious situation #and then ana calls and careless whisper just BLARES agdf

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mendesunicorns-blog · 6 years

Text

Believe

This is just my sad self, writing angst and not letting myself get lost in this shit. Also, my first try at angst, so I’m so sorry if this sucks.

Summary: you meet his friends for the first time and they seem to love you, but then you lose Shawn in the crowdy house and you’re not happy, so he brings up some stuff that he has wanted to say for a while.

a lot of asshole!shawn, im sorry. shawn, honey, ily

1k+ full of angst, enjoy x

You felt comfortable. Your hand in Shawn’s, you enjoyed walking from one circle of his friends to another, until you met the host of the whole party. You two had a chat, the friendly brunette showing you some stuff in the kitchen until you realized that your boyfriend wasn’t around.

Now, you weren’t a person, who’d get nervous about stuff, but anxiety kicked in as soon as you realized Shawn was gone. See, you were a normal, regular person, but you had anxiety doing stuff, that other people can do easily, since you felt scared to be rejected or misinterpreted.

You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat and it felt like being okay. “You good?” the female you had been chatting with the whole time, asked you. “You look out of place.”

“Y-yeah, it’s just...anxiety issues. Shawn promised to be around, but he left and it just kinda hit me,” you nervously laughed, trying to remain calm. This is stupid, you shouldn’t be doing this, Y/N, it’s fine.

It quite frankly didn’t help, that the house was really crowded. When you went to the living room and saw how many people there were, you felt lost. You felt like you could scan the room a hundred times, yet you still wouldn’t be able to find Shawn. Maybe he just went to the men’s room.

You suddenly felt an arm grab you and shove you in a room. You were ready to scream, but then you saw it was Hailey, the girl you were talking to earlier. “Hails, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

Then it hit you. You couldn’t feel it until you sat down. All the thoughts came back to you, it felt like the power of your anxiety took over your body and you just broke down. You couldn’t help it. Everything was okay, but it felt like it wasn’t. It felt like the walls you built around to make sure you were okay today, weren’t there anymore. They all fell down and you were just you now.

But everything was okay.

You started crying and slid down the wall, shaking uncontrollably. Suddenly, Aaliyah, Shawn’s sister, ran in and saw the state you were in. Hailey gave her a quick rundown and ran outside, but you didn’t hear why. Probably to look for Shawn, who’s gonna beat the shit out of someone, because his girl was a mess.

You didn’t see him run in, but you did saw him in front of you. His face made your heart break, it was so...fragile. Like, you did something to him. Oh yeah, you panicked with no damn reason, but that was mainly all. God, you felt terrible.

“Baby, look at me,” he put his soft hand on your cheek. Lord, his touch always made you melt. “Hey, shh, I’m here.”

He held you, while you cried your heart out over the stupidest thing. The moment you seemed to calm down, you just remembered why you were crying and it all started again. But when you finally had calmed down, he asked you the same question he had been asking this entire time. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid,” you looked down, embarrassed, shy, feeling rather pathetic.

He kissed the top of your head, while rocking you in his arms slowly. “Honey, nothing you say or cry about is stupid, you know that.”

You sniffled.

He turned you around, so you’d have to face him. But you didn’t want to. “Hey, look at me.” You didn’t. You wanted to bury yourself deep under ground in embarrassment. He put a finger under your chin so softly, you could just fall apart. He looked in your teary eyes, feeling his heart break in thousand pieces. If not even million.

“It’s just...” you couldn’t find the right words for the situation that had happened. “You left,” your voice cracked. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault, it’s just...the moment I realized you’re not around, I felt vulnerable. And the moment I saw the crowded living room, Hailey brought me here and I just...fell apart. I’m sorry-”

“No, don’t even apologize. I should be the one to apologize, as I promised to be next to you the whole time. Let’s just go home, okay?”

So you did. Although, you noticed something snap in him after a talk with a dude who’s name you couldn’t remember. His mood was snappy, he wasn’t the soft and caring boy you spent the time calming down with, in one of the rooms.

He suddenly stopped the car, at a green light, so you kinda flew to the front. When your back hit the uncomfortable seat, you looked at him. “Shawn, you okay?”

He looked at you. “You had to do that, didn’t you?”

“What are you talking about?” you let out an awkward laugh. Knew I’d fuck it up with my anxiety issues.

“It was part of the plan, wasn’t it?”

“What plan?” you put your hand on his cheek. “What plan are you talking about, honey?” he did what you thought he wouldn’t do. He slapped your hand away.

He continued to drive. “The whole anxiety attack prank. It was a prank, wasn’t it? Oh no, wait, it was just a trick, huh? And let me guess, it was Hailey’s idea, since she thinks she has something to get back at me with. You just went with it, because you know how to do it.”

“Shawn, no-”

“I can’t believe I was sitting in that room, holding you, but it was all fake. Your cries were legit, it felt like it was real.”

You yelled. “Because it was!” Silence consumed the car. You didn’t let him continue to humiliate you. “It was real, because it felt like the walls I built around myself, preparing for the party broke down. When I saw you weren’t there, something inside me clicked, something inside me just....fell apart. I’d never join in a plan involving something like that or a plan, that’d involve you, being hurt, because I love you. You’re the one that I love and for God’s sakes, you’re stupid for believing whatever the dude told you.”

Silence. Again.

Shawn reached his hand for your thigh now, as he usually did, but you slapped it away. “Piss off.”

Once he stopped the car in the parking lot, you got out, took your stuff and went in the house, before unlocking the door, messing with the keys. Shawn was fast on following you, but didn’t catch you. You took your shoes off and ran upstairs, slamming the door shut and it made Shawn wince.

He fucked up. He believed a dude’s theory rather than the sad, embarrassing truth.

You fell on your bed, got under the cover and sobbed loudly.

He didn’t believe you.

just before I post this, I’d like you know that I’m not using anxiety to romance the relationship between characters. anxiety is a thing, it’s real and it happens, and I wrote Y/N’s experience as my own. i’ve been there, so if you dare to tell me that it’s not, i’ll just end you. bc it is real and it’s a thing. love you. goodnight. x

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawnmendes #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes angst #angst

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brittney-brutal · 3 years

Text

Here we are again. I realize I didn’t say much last night after my surgery but I was so out of it I had to go to bed.

I went to the hospital at 10.30am and I got situated and they gave me a room and I watched tv until they came to put in my IV, I had a nice nurse named Mark put my IV in bc hes training to be a nurse anesthetist so he had to put in a certain amount of IV’s before he could be cleared so he did a great job he talked to me bc he knew I was nervous bc I hate IV’s.

I got to wear those cool yellow socks they give for fall risk patients. They gave me a warm blankie and I was so ready to fall asleep. They shut the lights off in the room and I watched some more tv. Then my doctor came in and he was like hey kiddo what’s happenin’ and I said what’s poppin and he laughed and he was like look I’m gonna go get changed into my other pair of “pajamas” (scrubs), and we’ll get this thing started” and I was like “otay” bc I was in a very soft headspace.

So finally 2pm rolls around, my surgery was scheduled at 1pm but they had an issue with anesthesiologists not being there so I had to wait even more.

Anyway, they roll me back and I’m getting nervous so I get moved to the operating table and my new anesthesiologist, Nick, talks to me and he’s like “I’ll take care of you I promise” and that’s all I ever need a man to say to me xD but nah he gave me some oxygen and then the anesthesia came and my doctor was holding my hand and he was like “you know what they say, have “sweet” dreams” and everyone laughed bc his name is Sweet. So I remember telling him “oh doctor sweet has jokes today” and I looked up at the lights and I said “Nick you’re so good at your job” and I was OUT.

Here’s where it gets weird.

I entered this black space.

There was nothing there.

I heard someone call my name so I looked to my left and my grandparents were there.

I got to hug my grandfather for the first time since I was five, and my grandmother for the first time since I was eighteen.

They were so happy.

My grandfather had two working legs again instead of one prosthetic, and he was walking, which I had never seen.

My grandma was finally happy. After 15 years of being alive without her soulmate she was finally happy.

They talked to me and walked me through the black space, showing me memories and saying how wonderful the afterlife is and how proud they are of me. I asked if I could stay with them and they said no, I had to go back and keep making them proud. I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay. My grandfather told me that he hasn’t protected me all this time for me to just not go back. He wiped my tears and said I’ll see you again my lovely, I’m always with you, now go back, and give that little boy a hug from us. We are so proud of you, he’s beautiful.

Next thing I know I’m being brought into recovery and I’m sobbing. My eyes aren’t even open yet but I feel the tears streaming my face like I cried the entire time I was asleep. I opened my eyes and the nurse said hey sleeping beauty and I cried more and said I want to see my baby. She started asking about my boy and I got to stop crying and I drank some ginger ale and she helped me get dressed and I sat in a recliner until I didn’t feel nauseous anymore.

I just stared at the floor thinking about everything that happened while I was asleep.

I saw memories from my childhood that I don’t remember now but I know my brain is keeping them safe somewhere.

They talked to me about you. I don’t remember what they said, but I know it wasn’t bad. They talked to me about you for a long time.

The nurse asked me who you were, and I didn’t understand, but then she said that as I woke up I said your name and I don’t remember that, but she said I was crying and I was still asleep as they brought me out of the operating room I was saying your name over and over.

I know you probably don’t want to hear that, and I know there’s nothing you can do. But I just want you to know that even when I’m drugged up and knocked out, I still want you. Sometimes I wish I didn’t, just for ease of life. But the drugs don’t lie.

So that was my fun time yesterday.

Now I’m going to bed bc I have to work tomorrow morning.

Goodnight

#personal

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pikapegasus · 7 years

Text

Broken Things (Chapter 3)

WHEW WE'VE REACHED THE END FELLAS,,, time for more angst yay

(read chapter 1 & chapter 2)

(also read on ao3)

Gamora likes to think she managed to get some sleep before she wakes up choking, coughing, blinking through an unprecedented surge of tears. Whatever awful vision had plagued her mind moments before is now, thankfully, gone, but her body is still processing, leaving her shivering.

Unfortunately, despite her best efforts to minimize how much of a disturbance her rude awakening could cause, Peter wakes up just moments after, sleepily lifting his head to look down at her and pulling her more closely to his body. He untangles his fingers from hers to grab the blanket that’s since fallen down their hips, pulling it up to her shoulders and rubbing her arm.

“It’s okay,” he says.

“No,” she says, voice thick with tears, “it’s not. It’s not at all.”

“It’ll be okay,” he says.

“It won’t,” she says.

“Gamora.”

“It won’t.”

His strokes up and down her arm cease as his hand settles just above her elbow.

“Babe,” he murmurs, “talk to me, please.”

She almost laughs, because of course he’s more concerned with her wellbeing than he is with his own, and it’s not fair, because that selflessness might get him killed in the next few days.

“I’m going to lose you,” she says, with certainty, because if anything is consistent when it comes to Thanos, it’s his ability to take away those who Gamora loves most.

These are, as far as she knows, her final days with Peter Quill.

Peter blows out a slow breath, his hand finding hers again, squeezing it gently. “Gamora—Gamora, stop, please. You’re not—that’s not going to happen, dammit.”

“It already almost did,” she whispers, as if Thanos himself is just outside their door, listening, waiting. “And that wasn’t even Thanos.”

“You’re scared,” Peter says, not unkindly. It comes as more of a reminder, a gentle observation, than anything.

“I can’t afford to be, when he’s so close…”

“Gamora,” he says, calmly, slowly, “what happened after we got separated during the attack earlier?”

Her breath catches in her throat, thinking back to just hours ago—those long, long hours of anxiety, of not knowing, of hoping and despairing—

“Fourteen hours,” she says. “For fourteen hours, I did not know where you were…nor if you were dead or alive.”

Peter sighs, making a move to sit up, but Gamora quickly sits up first to push him back down. He groans softly.

“Babe.”

“Stop.” She averts her eyes. “Just—stop.”

“Gamora,” he repeats, exasperated, “don’t try to downplay this. That’s—that’s terrifying. I can’t imagine—“

“Don’t,” she cuts, but her voice is more defeated than cold. “Don’t try to imagine, I…I wouldn’t wish that experience upon anyone, imaginary or real.”

Her voice grows quieter with each word, Peter’s gaze softening.

“It’s in the past now,” she insists.

“No,” he says. “Just…forget about Thanos and the Black Order and the other Guardians and Earth and everything for tonight, okay? We can think about that later; for now, let’s just focus on what happened earlier.”

“It happened,” she says, frowning. “It’s done.”

“It’s not,” he says, resting a hand on her hip. “You’re still shaking.”

“I have other reasons to be shaking,” she says.

But Peter remains steadfast. “Your mind and body still need to get over all your anxiety from earlier, babe. Let it, before we go back to the other stuff.”

“But…” The argument dies on her lips, exhaustion steadily claiming more and more of her.

“Please, Gamora,” he murmurs. “Let’s just take care of what happened today, okay? I’m here now, and I’m okay. I’m sorry you had to wait so long.”

Her shoulders sag as she sits back on her feet, loosening her tense muscles. She takes a deep breath and rests her hand on Peter’s arm. “It’s not your fault. It’s…”

“…Not your fault, either,” he says when she doesn’t continue. “What did you do while you were…waiting?”

He looks as unsure as he sounds, but she knows that he trusts her to be open with him—at least, as open as she feels comfortable with.

And at this stage in their relationship, that comfort level has skyrocketed.

“I looked for you,” she murmurs. “I looked everywhere for you, around the town, but...I asked people if they’d seen you, and one family lead me here, and there was this nurse, Cynthia…”

She trails off with a sigh, shaking her head as tears reemerge. Peter’s hand on her hip slips under her shirt, his thumb rubbing gentle strokes across her skin. She tries to smile for him, but breaks off into something between a laugh and a sob. The world around her is starting to crumble again, but Peter just keeps rubbing, his expression patient.

“Sorry,” she whispers, rubbing at her eyes.

“Gamora,” he says, “I’m okay. We’re okay. Thank you for telling me.”

“Yeah.” She releases a shuddering breath, followed by a sniffle.

“Wanna lie down?” he asks.

She nods wordlessly, pressing her lips together in a (futile) attempt to stop them from trembling. Carefully, she lies back down beside Peter, settling her head just beside his on the pillow so they can make direct eye contact. Fourteen hours may only be slightly longer than half of a day, but it seems as if an eternity had passed in which Gamora could not even look at Peter, except for the picture she’d had to share with everyone else to find him.

But this view, this view is hers, it’s private, safe from the rest of the world, safe from Thanos. Peter offers her a small smile, pressing a poorly aimed kiss to her brow.

“I’m here now,” he whispers.

“It was like a nightmare,” she whispers back, again, as if Thanos is here, just outside their door. “Except I couldn’t wake up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay now.”

She feels like a child again, exchanging whispers with those she trusted behind Thanos’ back, and she knows Peter may relate to an extent, after having a father who could cover the entire universe and overhear anything. She presses herself more closely to Peter, the two of them occupying an even smaller, cozier fraction of the universe.

“You don’t have to feel okay yet,” he says. “That’s okay.”

“I know.”

“Good. Just wanted to make sure.”

He yawns.

“You need to rest,” Gamora says. “Sleep.”

“You, too,” he mumbles through another yawn. “Sleep, Gamora.”

“I will.”

His eyes start to fall closed, and she feels not far behind him in sleep, exhaustion pulling at her eyes as well. They fall into a silence disrupted only by their soft, slow breathing.

Until, just as she’s about to drift off—

“Wait, G’mora,” he’s sleepily slurring when she opens her eyes, “did’ya say you were my wife earlier?”

Despite everything, she smiles.

“Goodnight, Peter,” she says, pressing a kiss to his brow just as lazily aimed as his minutes earlier. He giggles softly, exuding an air of pride around them.

“I’m Mr. Gamora,” he mutters nonsensically, eyes closing once more. (Perhaps the anesthesia hadn’t completely worn off yet.) “I’m Mr. Deadliest Woman in the Galaxy.”

“Goodnight, Peter,” she repeats, this time with a small giggle of her own.

“’Night,” he whispers. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“See you in the morning, ‘kay? ‘Cause I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not gonna leave you again, ‘kay?”

“Okay.”

With that, Peter’s finally snoring, and Gamora follows him to the realm of sleep not too long after.

(This time, however, she does not wake up choking, crying, or shaking.)

(This time, when she wakes up, it’s to sleepy kisses and giggles from Peter about how much he loves her.)

(This time, even though they may only occupy one miniscule fraction of the universe, Gamora is confident it is more than enough to liberate the rest of the universe from Thanos.)

it's been great writing fic again !!!! school basically killed me this semester (it still is) so i've been suuuuuuper drained, left with little to no energy for fic, rip....

this fic started out as a vent piece for me, esp the first chapter when gamora's just waiting forever,,,, long story short that uhhhh mass shooting in vegas last month yeah...my cousin was actually there and tho she came out of it (miraculously) unscathed, she put my ninang ("godmother" in tagalog) and uncle through this same waiting game--for 14 hours, they weren't sure where my cousin was or if she was ok bc she lost cell service, hence why i had gamora kinda go through the same thing, to process my Emotions after hearing about my fam i guess...SO THANK YOU for your support on the 1st chapter (and the 2nd!) :'''D it feels really good to let go of this fic and all the feelings associated with it

anywho !!!!!! thx for coming along on this ride :) i hope to have more fic for you guys sooonnnn!!!!! (12 days of starmora, perhaps???)

#starmora #peter quill x gamora #star lord #guardians of the galaxy #mcu #gamora #peter quill #multichapter #fanfiction #broken things #*dora voice* WE DID IT WE DID IT YAYYYYY

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eatgraypes · 7 years

Text

I Won’t Tell

Character/Person : Eliza Schuyler

Pairing : Eliza Schuyler x Reader

Time : Modern

Reader's Gender : Female

Side Note : i made it modern bc back in hamiltime women were always wearing dresses so it wouldnt make sense if eliza has never seen you dressed up before

Warnings : READER SIDE BOOB, slight mentions of sex, I don’t ever proofread my shit so

Possibility Of Having Another Part : idk

Genre : Fluff

Request : Hii! Can I request an eliza x reader fic? If so... prompt : The reader and eliza are bestfriends (eliza secretly daydreams for more). One day while getting ready for a ball. The reader asks eliza for help with her dress. Eliza has never seen the love of her life dressed up before. The moment that the she sees the reader she gets very red and shaky and just loses her cool because woah! I'll give you creative freedom with the rest. Make it fluffy with a happy ending please. Thanks.

Word Count : 3488

Summary : Invited to a ball, you have Eliza come over to help get ready and she falls apart at seeing you in a gown. All it took was some alcohol to get her to spill.

You slid your arms around Eliza's waist, pulling her dangerously close to your frame. Her gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips, subconsciously leaning into you, desperately wanting more. You chuckled lowly and tightened your hold on her, sure to leave bruises. At the time, Eliza didn’t mind; she’s been dreaming about this for months. You laugh. She could feel your hot breath fanning on her lips. She leaned in closer, the desire of feeling your lips on hers was driving her crazy. She wanted to know how soft your lips were, how they felt moving against hers.

“Eliza,” you whisper. She doesn’t even attempt to look at your eyes, keeping her eyes focused on your plump lips.

“Yes?” She pushes forward, the tip of her nose touching your and her head tilting.

“Do you want pineapple on the pizza?” The question took her aback. Her brows shot up and she pulled away slightly, getting a full look of your own confused expression.

“I said, do you want pineapple on the pizza?” You repeated slower than the last time.

She blinked twice and that’s when she realized she was seated on your couch, staring blankly and holding onto one of your pillows like her life depended on it.

Her eyes danced around the room until it landed on you, propped up against your marble island in the kitchen, phone in hand and eyes boring into Eliza, awaiting for her answer.

“Oh!” Eliza straightened her posture, fixing her ponytail.

“Uh, no pineapple, please.” She manages.

You smile and scoff, “I think we’re beyond saying ‘please’ to each other, Liz.” You rotated in your chair, hopping off and scrambling over to the couch where Eliza sat, flustered from her daydream.

“What’s wrong? You’re all red. Ooh, you thinkin’ ‘bout that one guy I hooked you up with?” You grinned and crossed your legs, reaching over the coffee table to grab the remote, exposing a bit side boob from your very large tanktop. Eliza blushed, whipping her head in the other direction and fidgeting with the pillow trapped in her lean arms.

“No, no, one night stands aren’t my thing.” She stuttered, chewing on her bottom lip.

You glanced up from the remote and at Eliza, an eyebrow raised at her sudden embarrassed tone. “Oh? Then what’re you so flustered for? The pizza?” You snorted.

She returned her gaze to you, blush only growing even more at the sight of you, messy hair pulled back into a high ponytail and lips tinted from lipstick you hadn’t washed off properly. You could be in a banana suit and Eliza would be like “damn, that’s hot.”

You cocked your head, “oh, now you’re getting me invested. Who is it?” You leaned into the palm of your hand, teasingly smiling at your best friend who thrashed around on the edge of your couch, turning her head in all directions, denying anything you suggested.

“It’s not a guy,” she clarifies, scurrying further into the comfort of your couch.

If possible, your smile grew wider. “Never said it was, doll.”

Eliza grew lightheaded. She didn’t know what to focus on, the new nickname that made her swoon or the fact that you was asking about her crush and she had to come up with an excuse; quick.

“Eliza,” you drawled, playing with the drawstrings of your hoodie.

“It’s nothing.” She whispers in response, staring down at her lap.

You rolled your eyes, not believing Eliza’s answer. “Maria?”

Her eyes darted over to your form, confused she spoke up, “what?”

You pressed the call button for the pizza place Angelica suggested to you a few days ago. “You know, is it Maria?” Eliza’s expression didn’t change, still showing how confused she was. “Being the one that you’re thinking about, I mean.”

Eliza shook her head softly and you threw your head back into the cushions. “I know a lovestruck face when I see one- Oh, hey! Can I order one large pizza and a small, both without pineapple.”

Your voice became white noise to Eliza as she replayed your words in her head, over and over.

I know a lovestruck face when I see one.

If you can tell if someone’s in love, why can’t you tell when someone’s in love with you? Is what Eliza wanted to say as she eyed you, on the phone, discussing a pizza order over the phone. Why couldn’t you figure it out? Better yet, why couldn’t she just tell you?

“Cool! Thanks, man.” You say, ending the call with the pizza parlor, noting to thank Angelica later for the pizza recommendation.

This is going great, Eliza thought. Now that you guys were getting some alone time, with food, Eliza was going to be given an opportunity to tell you how she felt.

“By the way, I invited the girls.”

Eliza furrowed her eyebrows, clearly upset at having her alone time with you crashed. But you took it as a look of confusion and piped up, “oh, the girls as in Maria, Pegs, Angelica, and Theodosia.”

Eliza’s shoulders slumped, but she was quick to mask her displeasure with a smile and a breathy laugh. “Can’t wait.”

“Oh honey,” Theodosia cooed, patting at your back as you drunkenly spilled about your ex boyfriend, Charles Lee.

Eliza held your hand in hers, quietly comforting you as you sobbed and ranted.

Eliza was the only sober one.

In fact, everyone was.

Until Peggy showed up with a cart of brown bags nursing champagne and a pound of snacks.

That is exactly how you ended up crying your heart out and tugging at Eliza’s hand, which she would’ve found very romantic if you weren’t a snotty mess. But she somehow sTILL FOUND YOU CUTE.

“Do you think she’ll be fine for the ball tomorrow?” Maria asks Angelica, who held a bucket underneath your chin and grasped your hair, holding it up just in case you were in need of it.

Angelica smiled reassuringly, “Y/N will be fine. Her hangover in the morning will be bad but she bounces back pretty quickly,” she says before turning her head to look at Eliza, “just make sure she takes something and gets to sleep, and water.”

Eliza nodded, already knowing the routine as she’s done this many times for you before. Back from when you got seriously drunk at Alex’s birthday party and challenged John to a handstand contest, or when you got so drunk at Theodosia’s baby shower that you stripped down and gave Eliza a lap dance, which you didn’t remember and remains a secret between every party guest and Eliza.

“Did you just bring drinks to get Y/N wasted?” Maria complained, trying to keep from you doing sudden jerky, rapid movements.

“What! No! I didn’t know she would drink it all herself!” Peggy countered, crossing her arms and huffing.

Eliza sighed and reached forward to grab one of your arms and throw it over her shoulder, “you say that every time. I’m gonna go put her to sleep,” she excused herself, helping you walk up the stairs and into your room.

You stumbled, knocking your feet against the steps and banging your head against the wall multiple times.

“Eliza,” you whispered loudly. She couldn’t help but smile, side-eyeing you. “Yes?”

You hummed, toothily smiling and resting your head on her shoulder.

“I love you,” you slur.

Eliza can’t stop the slight blush that crawls up her neck, even if you meant it platonically. “I love you too.”

Eliza dragged you over to your bed and set you down. She walked to the foot of your bed and lifted your legs that hung from your mattress, dangling out in the air at the edge and back onto your bed. Taking your blanket in her hands, she pulled it up to your chest, tucking you in and hesitating when coming to face you.

She leaned forward, lips aimed for your forehead, but she stopped, eyeing your peaceful face and dozing body. Standing straightly, she left your bed and disregarded the kiss she planned to plant on you, a friendly goodnight kiss, she’d call it.

“Good night,” she whispered, heading downstairs to get back to the others and keep them company.

Eliza rubbed at her eyes and yawned, staring blankly at her phone, waiting for her older sister to reply to her text message. Due to the long wait, her thoughts seemed to wander, painting a fantasy of you in a quick second. Before she could really process what was happening, you stood in front of her in the gown you both picked out for the event tonight. Spinning her in your arms and dipping her low, you pressed a chaste kiss on the ball of her nose. Eliza giggled but stopped when you dipped her dangerously low, sliding her hands from your shoulders to the frills that sat on your chest.

Gripping it tightly in fear, she pressed a heel against the floor, trying to regain balance and just in case you let go. You bit back a laugh, grinning down at Eliza.

You shifted closer to the point where you could feel your own breath fanning on your face, bouncing off of Eliza’s. “Would I drop you, doll?”

Eliza’s heart skipped a beat, albeit knowing that this was just a daydream.

Eliza smiled and leaned into the comfort of her palm, completely disregarding the chiming to signify that she had a new text message, too lost in her own thoughts.

Your body pressed against Eliza’s, and yet she desperately wanted to feel more. She held you tighter and lifted her head, tilting it in the process to allow her lips to gravitate towards yours. Before Eliza’s lips could meet yours, you halted, whispering against Eliza’s lips, “doll,” you started, sensually.

“Yeah?” Eliza breathed, unable to remove her gaze from your mouth, finding herself in the same fantasy as before.

“You made me breakfast?”

Eliza groaned, knowing her fantasy was cut short the exact same way as before, and turned in her seat to glare at whoever interrupted her, stopping short at the subject of said fantasies. You looked taken aback, chuckling, “wow, okay. What’s the mean look for, doll?”

There it goes. That damn nickname.

Eliza nervously laughed and slid off of her seat, standing up straightly and outstretched an arm, gesturing to the two plates of food on your counter.

You approached Eliza, eyes glancing from her to the plates of food, noting that she didn’t eat her plate and probably had to wait a few hours to eat.

“You didn’t have to wait for me, y’know.” You said, rubbing at your temples in attempt to soothe your headache.

“And you shouldn’t have gotten severely drunk.” Eliza teased, holding up a fork for you to take.

You snatched the fork from her, playfully sticking your tongue out at her, “whatever, mom.”

After breakfast, Eliza rode back to her house for her gown and any makeup she had lying around in her bathroom. You, on the other hand, crashed on your couch to watch T.V and wait for Eliza to come back and help you squeeze into a corset, cause God knows you can’t do it yourself.

“Why aren’t you getting ready?” Eliza managed to say, struggling as her arms were full with bags and a baby blue gown. You lazily bent to look at Eliza over your shoulder, guiltily smiling like a child who was just caught sneaking cookies from a jar.

“It’s not fun stripping down unless you’re here with me,” you inquired, crossing your arms in front of you and resting your chin on the back of your hands.

Eliza bit her tongue, staring down at her feet as she awkwardly shuffled towards your kitchen, doing her best to hide the flustered expression hidden by her hair. Her heart was beating faster than usual, she could practically hear it thumping in her ears, and she was sure you could too.

“Oh,” she said with a cracked voice. You grinned wider and peeled an, unusually soft, blanket off of your body, deciding to help Eliza with her bags.

By the time Eliza finished getting ready, you were trying to squeeze your head into your dress, trying not to smudge the makeup you worked hard on; twice.

Your hangover just subsided after you managed to put on your corset, puking out whatever was left from the breakfast Eliza made you, meaning you had to redo your makeup. Which also meant that Eliza was ahead of you, and probably already finished.

“Uh, Liz?” Your voice quivered, struggling to reach around and tie up your dress from the back.

It was a beat, but she walked up to your room with heels in hand, eyes widening as she spotted you in a tight fitted y/f/c dress.

“Oh,” she stuttered. You turned at the sound of her voice and smiled, red lipstick bearing your lips that Eliza couldn’t stop staring at.

“Can you help me tie it?” You asked, turning back around to show Eliza the knot of string you created in your own attempt of lacing up your dress.

Eliza swallowed the lump in her throat and sauntered over to you, shakily placing the pair of heels in her hand down to work at the knot. She clenched her jaw and let out a nervous chuckle, eyes darting everywhere but your backside.

“Doll, it’s a dress, not a bomb. No need to be nervous,” you quipped with a laugh, peeking over your shoulder and reaching to grab onto one of Eliza’s hands.

If Eliza wasn’t dying, she was now.

Sure, you’ve called her Doll many times before and held her hand. Hell, you did last night while you were sobbing and ranting to the others, but something about this felt different.

Maybe it was the dress?

The bright red lipstick?

Your hair was done?

“Doll,” you asked.

Eliza’s eyes darted up to meet worried ones, “you okay? I can do it myself if..” you trailed off.

Eliza shook her head rapidly, not wanting some wish of hers to get in the way of your friendship, something she much preferred than having to live without you at all.

“No, no I’m fine,” she offered, plastering on the best smile she could. You returned the gesture and turned back around.

Eliza released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, nervously fidgeting with the strings that held up your dress.

You walked in, arm in arm with Eliza, who offered to bring Alexander and Lafayette along as your dates, though you quickly shot the idea down and suggested that the two of you go together, as ‘friend-dates,’ unknowingly causing Eliza’s hope of you liking her back to shrink largely.

You squeezed her arm tighter and smiled brightly when greeted by friends that danced around the ballroom with their own dates.

“You made it!” Peggy squealed, dancing over with Maria and Theodosia in tow. Theo laughed and lazily threw an arm around Maria, “how was the hangover?” She smirked playfully.

You rolled your eyes and tutted your head in Eliza’s direction, tilting your head to lay on her shoulder, earning a blush from her. “It was great. I puked my heart out while Eliza held up my hair, definitely an experience.”

The girls laughed as you removed yourself from Eliza’s arm to pull them all on the dance floor, not spending a second to settle down and get a few drinks, flirt, or try some of the food, much to Peggy’s dismay.

“As much as I’d love to stay girls, someone’s been eyeing me all night.” Theo pried herself away from you to sneak a peek at a tall bald man quietly drinking with Thomas and James. Maria whistled, lightly pushing Theo in the direction of Aaron.

Eliza smiled gently, which was a contrast compared to you, Peggy, and Maria, who catcalled and whistled loudly.

It was pretty quiet for a while, watching Theo walk off to go find her husband when Peggy broke it, grabbing onto Maria harshly.

“We’re getting a drink, you guys coming?”

You turned to look at her, then glancing over at Eliza who nodded after a bit of hesitation. You beamed, rolling your head over to turn back to Peggy and Maria.

“Great, let’s get wasted.”

Peggy was wasted, probably blackout drunk.

Maria was.. Somewhere, off flirting with whoever she could find.

Theo left a while ago with Aaron in a rushed manner.

Eliza was a bit tipsy, not too much though.

You apparently hadn’t learned your less from last night and ended up being highly tipsy. Not drunk enough to just pass out or violently throw up, but just enough alcohol in your system to get you up and going. On the dance floor.

You clumsily hopped off the bar stool and spun around, grabbing onto Eliza’s wrists and rushing over to the center of the room, doing your best not to trip over your own gown.

“Y/N, I can’t dance.”

You scoffed, “I can’t either,” you paused to lean in in a secretive matter, “just pretend.”

Taking her hands and placing it on your shoulders, because you know damn well she wasn’t risque enough to place them on your waist, you placed yours on her small hips. Slow, loud music filled the air. Couples and non-couples around you danced slowly, in the same position both you and Eliza were in. You snickered, “cheesy.”

Eliza nodded, sucking in her bottom lip.

You sent her a worried look at how quiet she’s been. Desperate to lighten the mood, you bent down and tried to keep a straight face, “I s’ppose this is where we kiss?”

Eliza’s head shot up, alarmed, and she blinked multiple times in an attempt to register what you had just said.

You chuckled, “I was kidding. You have your eyes set on Maria.”

Eliza groaned, “I don’t like Maria. I already told you this.”

Raising an eyebrow, you eyed her, “well, since I got you to talk, who is it?”

Eliza removed her eyes from you and looked around for some sort of escape or excuse, you rolled your eyes and smiled.

“Uh..”

“C’mon, might as well tell me. Promise I’ll keep it a secret.”

You pursed your lips at the response Eliza didn’t give. “How about, I guess a few people and you answer with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no?’

Eliza didn’t respond.

“Theodosia.”

“She’s married.”

“That’s not a no,” you quipped, hooking a finger underneath Eliza’s chin and grinning. She sucked in her lip and looked away, “no.”

“Mm, Maria?”

“Y/N.”

“Okay, okay!” You laughed.

“Sally?”

“Who?”

“Thomas’s maid.”

“Uh, no?” It was more a question than a statement.

You huffed, glancing around in search of other females you might know. Lighting up, you pointed at a short woman dancing with her own group of friends. Eliza didn’t even have to look at her for long before shutting it down, giving you a slight theory on who it might be. “Not my type.”

You choked on your own laugh, “since when do you have a type? You’re too nice to have a type.”

Eliza laughed herself, something you haven’t heard since you started grilling her last night, “hey! I can have a type.” You raised an eyebrow, performing a smug look that Eliza desperately wanted to wipe off of your face.

“In fact, my type is standing right in front of me.” She said matter of factly.

You opened your mouth, but closed it. When you pulled away from her slightly, that’s when Eliza registered what she said.

Oh, my god.

“No! No, I mean.. You’re not my type. I uh, I don’t have a type. You were right!” Eliza rambled. You remained quiet, adding onto Eliza’s fear.

“Y/N?” She said warily.

Quickly wrapping your arms around Eliza, you pressed your lips against hers. It took a while for her to respond, too in shock to believe your mouth was on hers, but when she did, it was the most passionate kiss you’ve ever had.

Her lips were impeccably soft and moved slow against yours, almost teasing you.

You could feel her mouth curl into a smile against yours, and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling too. Pulling away, you held her face in your hands, cupping her rosy cheeks and disregarding the fact that your lipstick was probably a running streak on your cheek and that you both stopped dancing and kissed, in the middle of an entire crowd.

You both panted, grasping onto air after the long kiss you shared. Her eyes gleamed with something, something you could identify as, not lust, but pure, utter love.

You leaned in and hugged her, swaying to the soft, classical music that blared at the same time.

“I won’t tell.”

She laughed airily, holding back a choked cry. You smiled into the crook of her neck, hugging her tightly.

gOOD LORD IM FINISHED THIS TOOK DAYYYYSSS

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cauldronoflove · 7 years

Note

Do you have any headcanons for the El Internado gang having a Disney movie marathon together? Like if Paula convinced Marcos and then they all ended up loving Disney and wanting to watch them all. (If you can I love Marcos/Ivan and Vicky/Julia!) Thank you so much!!

this took,,, so long and i’m so sorry, heres 1.3k of these kids terrorizing one another with sad disney deaths and old childhood crushes bonding

- alright so to set the scene here, it’s spring break or something of the like and the school is mostly cleared out save for The Kids

- so it’s edging on day 3 of break and when all your friends are off doing whatever 8 year olds do on break and you’re alone, 3 days is an Eternity

- thus Paula decides she has to do something, because she has the worst thing you can have as a child aka Boredom

- and so she readies her best puppy dog eyes and lip pout and she marches herself to the boys’ dorm room and she settles herself beside Marcos and she does what baby sisters do

- now, Marcos loves his sister, like a lot, so he finds himself agreeing to Paula’s request to watch a movie with her

- 94% of Marcos’ life is him not realizing what he’s getting himself into so this literally is no different vksnfjs

- Paula thinks that it was way too easy to get Marcos to agree and by golly she didn’t prepare her best puppy dog eyes only to find her brother’s a pushover

- Plus, she remembers how much fun she and Marcos and their parents used to have when they’d build blanket forts in the living room and watch movies until way past her bedtime so she puts 2 & 2 together or rather 2 and 6 and she sets off to pokémon the shit out of the rest of these teenagers

- she has the easiest time finding and convincing Carol, and Carol in turn gathers up Vicky and Julia; Caye’s also an Absolute Pushover, and Roque can’t say no to Caye so there’s the majority of her band; all she has left is Iván

- Marcos, in addition to loving his sister, also dearly loves his boyfriend. and though he is completely jaded when it comes to the former he is Not when it comes to the latter (read: he doesnt want her to catch Iván on one of his off days and for her to get her feelings hurt)

- but Paula is Determined, she’s Stubborn, and she also Does Not Care about Iván’s teenage angst bullshit

- Getting him to agree, she will years later realize, is one of her biggest life accomplishments

- so they pool together what pillows and blankets they can get together and they all turn to vicky bc they figure hey! vic’s smart she can do this.

- Vicky Cant Build A Pillow Fort For Shit

- cut to julia and iván handling it like oh my god (roque: is that a cup holder made out of a pillowcase ? julia, grinning: you bet your ass it is)

- so now that theyre gathered and in a Pillow Castle™ someone (caye’s bc he has every movie ever on his laptop lbr) laptop gets tugged out and they then commence The Great Movie Decision Debate

- they eventually settle on The Little Mermaid (it’s a classic, iván argues; ariel was hot, carol inputs)

- about 20 minutes in everyone Immediately Knows why iván was im favor of the little mermaid

- prince eric, really? marcos asks, definitely not jealous of an animated, completely fictional man or anything

- vicky Loses It bc this is literally the funniest thing that has ever happened to her ever she cant believe she got to witness iván trying to defend himself against marcos’ accusation

- iván gets her back tho lmao

- but he bides his time

- in the mean time they watch

- the lion king: caye loses his shit, he’s straight up sobbing when mufasa dies and he’s got roque on one side and paula on the other and paula’s patting his hand and telling him it’ll be ok

- mulan: why do Roque, Caye, and Iván know be a man by heart why are they so in sync and on tune How Many Times Has This Happened Boys Oh My God Did You Guys Rehearse Choreography

- the fox and the hound: *marcos voice* fUCK-paula dont repeat that-THIS MOVIE

- bambi: iván cries (“no, carol, i’m not, it’s just hot in this fort with all you shits and im sweating”) but it’s chill bc marcos wraps his arms around iván’s waist and rests his head on his shoulder and it’s sweet and iván’s still Definitely Not Crying Thank You V Much Carol but he’ll admit he’s a bit emo ok

- after bambi ends iván thinks it’s abt time for him to exact his revenge so he suggests hercules and VICKY LAUNCHES AT HIM

- (mind you paula is still here, she just migrated abt the fort and is with carol and is content enjoying her movies and her snacks and her convo with carol’s cool gf who’s on skype as vicky tries to murder iván in the bg)

- julia’s intrigued, and so she smiles real sweet at her Best Friend caye and bc he’s a good good friend caye obliges

- julia, 2.2 seconds into the movie: ITS MEG ISNT IT VIC

- vicky, trying to strangle iván over marcos’s laughing form: N-NO SHUT UP

- julia: are you always this articulate ;-)

- vicky, dying and living all at once, no longer trying to kill iván

- carol: Why didnt we see this before julia is totally meg

- roque: thts true

- julia: i cant wait for halloween

- vicky: tht one meme where the dude’s wiping sweat off his brow you know the one

- marcos to iván in the back even tho he hasnt said a word: only if youre ariel

- things start to wind down after tht and they decide maybe one more movie bc it’s gonna be late soon and theyve already decided to end the marathon with paula’s only real request so theyre abt to start tht when caye’s like:

- Wait. we’ve all had our emotions plucked at or embarrassing childhood crushes critiqued What Abt Julia

- julia: i’ll kill you tbh

- marcos: yeah julia what’s Youre movie

- iván: if i have to suffer knowing marcos now Knows then you gotta suffer with vic Knowing too

- julia: …

- julia: thts fair

- julia: caye play aladdin

- vicky: ohmYGOD

- iván: aladdin or jasmine

- julia: *voice crack* STOP

- caye, in tears, having to lean on roque for support or he will literally fall on his face with laughter

- julia, under her breath: both

- marcos, in the back: damn. same.

- it takes Forever for them all to settle down to actually Watch the movie tbh it’s ridiculous but instead of letting them tease her abt it julia ROCKS every single song and yes, she knows every word (julia: ive literally owned multiple vhs copies bc i’d watch it so much they wouldnt rewind Of Course i know every word)

- (for weeks after this marathon everyone quotes movies at each other but marcos and julia’s aladdin quotes are truly Iconic)

- after aladdin ends it’s like 9 so they still have time for paula’s pick aka frozen and god do they go out on a high note tbh

- paula singing, pointedly looking at marcos then flicking her eyes to iván, shrugging: so he’s a bit of a fixer upper

- Also can i just say that carol and paula’s duet of let it go was absolutely the stuff of legends even if that song should have died years ago

- anyway it’s Incredibly Much So after paula’s bedtime by the time theyre done with the movie and paula’s passed out in the corner, vicky and julia have a blanket over their shoulders and are trying not to nod off together, carol’s saying goodnight to her gf who has been in and out on skype all day, marcos and iván are bickering (lovingly??) and roque and caye are Gone (they went to bed lol nerds)

- marcos ends up having to carry paula back to her room and of course iván goes with him and julia and vicky and carol gather what pillows and blankets they Think are theirs and trudge back to their room and all in all it was a Good Night

#my hcs #el internado

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