#gonna do new page this weekend probably

[livingonthesands]

0.57.

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#well that's new #what an interesting new world #gonna do new page this weekend probably #art #living on the sands #fallout #fallout comic #fallout fanart #one heck of a party #fallout fancomic #fanfiction #post apocalyptic #giant scorpion #raiders #fallout oc #0 #michael #webcomic

[chouettecrivaine]

Ah, Young Love! [Our Life: Now & Forever]

Fandom: Our Life: Now & Forever

Characters: Qiu Lin, Tamarack Baumann

Notes: takes place during Step 1, so he/him is used for Qiu as that is how he identifies at this point in the story!

So anyway I'm obsessed with how everybody wants Qiu but Qiu only has eyes for MC once they meet so I'm thinking about his silly little boyhood crush. And then I couldn't leave best girl Tamarack out of the love fest so here's just a few little things I was thinking about with them having childhood crushes on u <3

Note that only the demo is publicly available and I am not currently a patron so anything here that is proven true is coincidence and anything proven false is just me having a little fun

Qiu Lin

So like. I've seen Qiu call you pretty twice in the demo. Once when you meet him if you choose to call him pretty first, and again towards the end of what's available in the demo when he's listing off reasons why you should be allowed to join the club..

I just think that whenever he talks about you he always has to let it slip that he thinks you're cute. "They had on a really nice hair clip today!" "Their hair looked so cute when they took off their hat at school." "When I picked them up to walk to school, I was so surprised at how pretty they looked!"

When he told his parents about you he probably said "this really pretty kid surprised me in our yard and we went on a miniature adventure!"

Also (and note that my MC uses she/her so im gonna quote him using gendered terms but only for this one instance) When he's introducing you to one of his friends, he starts off with your name and says "she's a girl!" (Or whatever terms you have set)

So I just think he says the most basic facts about you with so much awe and wonder 🥺 like you wore overalls to school? He talks like you invented denim. You had a funny comment or joke? It's like he's never heard one before in his life when he retells it.

I feel like…the first thing that makes him interested in you is that you're new. Not only does this make you fun to mess with, but it makes you far more interesting than the people he's known his whole life. Plus you, unlike Tamarack, don't immediately brush off the cool things he wants to show you or do with you if it isn't immediately your cup of tea.

Darren and Baxter are sick and tired of hearing your name !! If you're not around Qiu wonders aloud at least once if he should or should've invite(d) you. If he did invite you and you had to decline, then he wonders what you're doing.

The type of kid to skip out on his weekend chores at home and go to your house to help you unpack instead

Ok so MC says they used to live in an apartment, right? Probably in the city? And MC was only allowed to play on their own because Golden Grove is "a safe neighborhood?" What if MC doesn't know how to ride a bike. What if Qiu teaches them…

Whether you get a hang of it or not, he daydreams about doing that thing where he rides the bike and you sit backwards on the seat or on the handlebars or something

When he finds out you can't ride a bike, he definitely shows off by riding around without his hands on the handlebars.

Will teach you how to jump off the swing set too, then will have competitions over who can swing the highest and leap the farthest

I feel like Golden Grove has a cute little main street with a bunch of locally owned shops. If you're interested, he'll show you every. single. business. Even if most of them are "granny shops" he isn't interested in. He'll let you poke around for a bit :)

He has a special page in his notebook for all the little notes and doodles about you

If you look closely at the note he gives you after class, you can see the remnants of a few tiny little hearts that he erased!!

Going back to him offering you to ride on his bike: he probably got you in trouble once because you were on your front lawn and he rode up asking you to go on an adventure with him on his bike. You're expecting a fun little 20 min ride through the walkable path in the woods that'll have you back home by dinner. Instead he takes you to town and buys you ice cream and the two of you have to struggle your way back up the hill on foot and it takes like an hour and a half to get back and your mom was worried SICK

Buys a pack of pens with one/some of your favorite color(s) and writes you notes exclusively in that/those ink(s)

If you and your mom go somewhere and he knocks on your door while you're out, you will come home to see him sitting on the steps to your front porch and waiting for you

Before class starts, he always gives you a funny face or a wave. If you come in late because of a doctor's appointment or something, naturally a lot of the kids turn to look at your entrance, and he immediately waves at you. Maybe even says hi to you out loud if he knows Mrs. Murray is in a good mood / he can get away with it.

If he finishes his work early or something, he'll turn around in his seat and just watch you from across the room with major heart eyes. He smiles wider and waves when you notice.

Anything you compliment him on, he immediately draws attention to around others. Say his hair looks good today? He'll hit you with a "oh but not every other day?" but then tell his seatmates about what you said.

Buys extra portions of his little snack bags of chips and candy or whatever he likes when he can so that he can give them to you during lunch.

Gets on a kick and will pester you about having a secret handshake until you let him come up with one. He likes having special things just you and him 🥺

Probably invites you to his hideout at a specific time and day every week and he gets soooooo excited for that time to roll around.

Tries extra hard in your favorite subject, even if it's one he hates. He's not trying to be top of the class, but he doesn't want you to think he doesn't care about something you care about!

If you like a class he's terrible at, he'll ask for your help! Or, if you struggle in a class he's good at, he'll volunteer to help you out even though he HATES the concept of doing extra schoolwork. That's how much he likes u

He'll do this with any windows but especially if one of your bedroom windows faces his: he will definitely pull a Taylor Swift in "You Belong With Me" and write notes for you guys to read to each other

Since he can't sit with you, he'll write you notes or make you doodles and then pretend he has to get up to sharpen his pencil so he can pass your desk and slip it to you

Tamarack Baumann

Tamarack will straight up just stare at you 👁👁

She follows you around like a lost puppy and visibly brightens up when you're around

Looks forward to school because she gets to sit next to you all day! Like she'll skip happily along the path with you and Qiu and you'll ask her if she's looking forward to all these things and she'll just go "No!" and when you finally give up and ask why she says "because I get to spend the whole day next to you!"

When she goes to play in the woods, sometimes she'll spend a while in the shallower end of the tree line waiting to see if you'll come outside and play with her

Has definitely thrown sticks and pebbles at your back door to lure you out before she gets bored

Likes to go around and pick up the coolest rock, the prettiest flower, the biggest piece of tree bark, a leaf the size of her head…then before she goes home for the night, she stops by your house and gives what she picked up to you!!

If you're not home then she leaves it on your porch with a note, usually held down by a rock if it's not something heavy 

She'll be over the moon if you give her cool rocks and stuff you found. Even if you're literally giving her trash, like if you ONLY give her bottle caps or pop tabs you find on the sidewalk, she cherishes them. Would make jewelry out of them tbh

Ok so quick tangent but there's a book I read in about 4th grade called Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, and in it the love interest girl is the quirky type. One thing she has is a little decorative cart on her dresser which she puts rocks in every time she's happy and takes rocks out when she's sad. When the protag goes to her house and finds out, she explains how she has put the most rocks in it since meeting him. They kiss sometime after that and she puts another rock in and tells him about it. I think Tamarack would have a jar or a doll house bathtub and she would do the same thing, putting rocks in it when she's happy! So what I'm saying is give her plenty of rocks so she can exclusively use MC rocks for that 

Also will make matching jewelry for the two of you without even stopping to think if you even wear what she's making. She'll buy kits to make special rings and headbands, braid a million friendship bracelets out of multicolored string, use acorns she found to make earrings…anything! She is just as happy if you wear it then she is if you buy a jewelry display stand and show them off in your room. Eventually she adds keychains into the mix for some variety

Doesn't mean to spend a lot of her time waiting on you but she does. On weekends, instead of going directly into the woods, she'll just lie on her back in her yard and stare up at the clouds, completely still, daydreaming (about you) until she hears your door opening. Then she runs to you.

If any of your windows are open, particularly your bedroom window, she'll send a bunch of paper airplanes your way. Most of them make it! However, you've learned that if you find even one paper airplane inside, you're going to have to check that side of the house for more scattered on the ground

Grips onto your arms or your clothes whenever she can. You two are connected.

Makes a BIG effort to like anything that you like as much as you do! And when she follows you around, it doesn't really matter if you're doing something she doesn't care about. She just wants to spend time with you! It does make her whole week if you follow her into the woods, though.

She doesn't take notes in class, but you leave a writing implement out for her and sometimes she'll reach over and doodle a cute bear or something on your paper :)

If you say you're cold, she'll give you her scarf, no questions asked. Is also down to share but don't let her do that while you're walking because it WILL end badly 

Has wrapped the scarf around the two of you and tied you guys together before and yes it was the best recess of her life 

When walking, she tends to lean into you which sometimes almost turns into pushing you and Qiu into the road if you're not careful

Likes to drag you around places and pretty quickly invites you to her house. She doesn't tell her grandparents that she's inviting you over, so they're surprised by you almost every time, but they don't mind! She's dragging you up the stairs to her room too quickly for them to say anything anyway

#our life now and forever #our life now & forever #our life #qiu lin x reader #tamarack baumann x reader #qiu lin #tamarack baumann #☆ qiu lin #☆ our life #☆ olnf #☆ tamarack baumann #🐚 capricorn ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+{hcs} #🌠 pisces ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+{all writing}

[unbizzarre]

Barrayaran Uniforms

My laptop’s still broken so it’s been a messing-around-with-gouache-paint weekend! I always draw too small so doing the deatails on this one was rough! 😫

Modern imperial dress greens on the left, and an attempt at vorkosigan house livery on the right (I don’t love how the vorkosigan house one turned out so I’m probably gonna rework it some more before adding anything to the ol’ headcannon)

NOTES ON IMPERIAL DRESS GREENS

-book mentions stiff high uncomfortable collars, forest green color, riding boots and side piping. There should also be two ceremonial swords but I got lazy

- I wanted to put an emphasis on embroidery and hand details in barrayaran fashion in general so I picked side piping a little more intricate and ornate than just a simple stripe

- originally I was put piping across the front like in the reference, but it got too busy and I wanted the chest to be a little simpler that way medals and other stuff would stand out better against the fabric. Plus having fewer fiddly bits helps it feel more sleek and less out of place in space.

Reference photos:

UNIFORM OVER TIME

- Barrayar as a setting has had to basically speedrun 600 years of fashion history as they make the leap from midieval to space-age in a single generation. In order to show the shift in eras I made a little timeline(ish) of the general changes in the uniform silhouette.

- biggest change in the general silhouette is the gradual shortening of the coat/shirt element from calf lengths tabards to thigh length coats to to waist height jackets

- armor and chainmail fall by the wayside, and guns are picked up. Early occupation uniforms eclectic and a hodgepodge of old midieval weaponry + stolen cetegandan ordenance. They are not uniform at all as the barrayaran military is mostly small gorilla outfits with each fighting force cobbled together from the resources at hand. New Uniformity would come with the return of central government and the implementation of infrastructure for mass production. The uniform would probably stay relatively consistant during the conquest of komarr through the pretendership. Another major shift in in uniform style would probably occur during the regency or Gregor’s coronation in reflection of the successful regime change and the continued push towards a more modern barrayar

Here’s some rough outlines:

Reference Collages from photocopies of a fashion history book I picked up from the library a while back. Don’t remember the title. Will edit post when I do Left is Russia (not sure which century). Right is references for occupation fighters pulled from various pages, time periods, and nationalities (Russia, Mongolia, Crete and turkey maybe? Idk) I wrote all the page numbers down on the collage but I returned the book so now they’re useless.

Thanks for reading!

#vorkosigan costume #vorkosigan saga #fanart #fashion history #headcanon #costume design #lois mcmaster bujold

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; 1989 (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift (Part III)

"SLUT!"

Being this young is art.

What if all I need is you?

Got love-struck, went straight to my head.

Got lovesick all over my bed.

Love to think you’ll never forget.

Lovelorn and nobody knows

I'll pay the price, you won't.

If I’m all dressed up, they might as well be lookin' at us.

If they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once.

If I'm gonna be drunk, I might as well be drunk in love.

Everyone wants him, that was my crime.

The wrong place at the right time.

In a world of boys, he's a gentleman.

We’ll pay the price, I guess.

This is luxury.

You're not sayin' you're in love with me.

It might blow up in your pretty face.

SAY DON'T GO

I've known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark.

It won't stop.

Halfway out the door, but it won't close

I'm holdin' out hope for you.

Say, "Don't go".

I would stay forever if you say, "Don't go".

Why'd you have to lead me on?

Why’d you have to twist the knife?

Walk away and leave me bleedin’?

Why’d you whisper in the dark just to leave me in the night?

Now your silence has me screamin'.

You kiss me and it stops time.

I'm yours, but you're not mine.

Why'd you have to make me want you?

Why'd you have to give me nothin' back?

Why'd you have to make me love you?

I said, "I love you".

NOW THAT WE DON'T TALK

I heard from everybody.

You part the crowd like the Red Sea.

Did you get anxious though, on the way home?

I guess I'll never, ever know.

You grew your hair long.

You got new icons.

From the outside it looks like you're tryin' lives on.

I miss the old ways.

You didn't have to change.

I guess I don't have a say.

She said that it was for the best.

The more I gave, you'd want me less.

I cannot be your friend.

I pay the price of what I lost.

What do you tell your friends we shared dinners, long weekends with?

I can't pretend it's platonic.

She said to get it off my chest.

Remind myself the way you faded 'til I left.

I don't have to pretend I like acid rock.

Guess maybe I am better off now that we don't talk.

Guess this is how it has to be now that we don't talk.

SUBURBAN LEGENDS

You had people who called you on unmarked numbers in my peripheral vision.

All was quickly forgiven.

You were so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious.

I didn't come here to make friends.

We were born to be suburban legends.

When you hold me, it holds me together.

You kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever.

I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs would surprise the whole school.

You'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out.

I know that you still remember.

We were born to be national treasures.

You told me we'd get back together.

I broke my own heart 'cause you were too polite to do it.

You don't knock anymore and my whole life's ruined.

IS IT OVER NOW?

You still wouldn't go.

Let's fast forward to three hundred takeout coffees later.

I see your profile and your smile on unsuspecting waiters.

You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor.

You search in every maiden's bed for somethin' greater.

Was it over when she laid down on your couch?

Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

Was it over then?

Is it over now?

Your new girl is my clone.

Did you think I didn't see you?

At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight.

Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs and my whispered sighs.

Oh, Lord, I think about jumpin' off of very tall somethings just to see you come runnin'.

Say the one thing I've been wanting.

Let's fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later.

If she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her.

You search in every model's bed for somethin' greater.

SWEETER THAN FICTION

You never saw it comin'.

Now you've come undone.

Wish I could make it better.

Someday, you won't remember this pain you thought would last forever and ever.

I will say, "I knew it all along".

This life is sweeter than fiction.

All you got are your shattered hopes.

They never saw it comin'.

Now you're on to somethin'.

Proved me right when you proved them wrong.

It's like we don't remember the rain we thought would last forever and ever.

All at once, the rest is history.

Look at you now.

You've made us proud.

You know that I'll be there time and again.

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #exodusmusing #*mystarters #*1989

[cinamun]

I was just thinking about simblr today, and you are probably the legit glue that holds black simblr together. Especially in the storytelling genre. I know we have a few but ain't NOBODY doing it like you do. They are either inconsistent or rely heavily on gameplay, which is fine because storytelling in The Sims is a labor of love but heavy on the labor. Your story alone literally has its own community. Lately, I have been leaning heavily into my art, therefore I've been hanging out more online with other artists, but one thing I'm going to do is come check your page for a new story update. I even pray god keeps you in perfect peace and good health so you can continue storytelling for as long as your heart is content. On top of all that, you use your platform to share other simmers content. You shit post the most random funny stuff and you stand up to anti-blackness. Oh and last but definitely not least you are friendly. God knows I've bombarded your inbox on many a day with my woes and you were right there with the tea and tissues. I appreciate you and just wanted you to know that. You would definitely be missed if you were to go MIA. I wouldn't even know where to begin to look. Anyway just letting you know AGAIN you are dope as fuck and I love you like an internet sister.

SISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! My day just took an impromptu stressful turn so this was so timely and thank you so much!! You already know the feeling is mutual. Not only that, but you already know next time I'm in your area we're gonna have the best time in our head wraps! Love you like my sisterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

I also am a firm believer in, if I come up, I'm bringing the hood with me so.... I use this follower count to make sure other Black simblrs and storytellers get exposure too because we all we got!!

Also tumblr is stuck with me so there's that lol all these new apps and imma be right here getting flagged. LOVE! I hope you have a peaceful, easy weekend and I hope your next original painting sells for far more than you anticipated.

#with love #real friends!

[imekitty]

Star Error XIV

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13

Star investigates Danny’s glowing freckles.

-----

Star watched for any sign of the ghost boy over the entire weekend. During the day, she waited for news about a ghost fight, and at night, she went out to look for him. But he was nowhere.

On Monday in Lancer's English class, Star stared at Fenton a few desks in front of her as he scribbled something in his notebook. She still hadn't decided on a final yes-or-no question to ask him, and at this point, she wasn't sure she'd ever come up with anything good.

Was this it? Had she really lost this game? Had Fenton completely bested her after all?

Fenton shivered. Star frowned, wondering if she had just imagined it because it was actually kind of warm in the classroom.

He shivered again. Star tilted her head.

And then his breath fogged up. Star's eyes widened as she leaned forward because it definitely was not cold enough for that to be even scientifically possible.

Such a freak.

Fenton raised his hand. "Mr. Lancer, can I use the restroom?"

"We're about to break into reading groups, Mr. Fenton," said Lancer. "Are you sure you can't hold it?"

Fenton shook his head. "No, nope. Definitely can't."

Lancer sighed and waved in the direction of the restroom pass hanging near the door. Fenton wasted no time jumping up and running out of the room, grabbing the pass on his way out. Several students snickered. Manson and Foley stared after Fenton.

"The rest of you, please get into reading groups of two or three," said Lancer. "Read the passage on page three-eleven and answer the following questions together."

Students and desks began shuffling around the room, but Star stayed in place, not taking her eyes off the classroom door.

The school's ghost alarm started blaring. Many students screamed, others groaned, some chattered excitedly.

"Ooh, we haven't had a ghost attack in a while!" gushed Paulina. "I hope it comes here so the ghost boy can save us."

Star sat up straighter. The ghost boy, yes, of course. If there was a ghost at the school, then Danny Phantom would probably come to fight it off.

"Please remain calm, everyone," said Lancer as he activated the small ghost shield for the room. "Stay in your seats."

Star took advantage of the commotion to slip out of the room. She could hear Lancer still instructing her classmates to quiet down as she ran down the hall. Other teachers in their own classrooms were also telling their students not to panic, just sit and wait for the alarm to shut off and the all-clear sign.

Star ducked out of sight anytime she saw a teacher open a door and scan the hall for any wayward students. She listened intently as she continued through the halls, not entirely sure what she was listening for but she was sure she'd recognize the sound of a ghost as soon as she heard it.

The air grew colder. Star stopped right outside the library doors and stared at them. When she heard crashing sounds on the other side, she wasted no further time and pulled open the doors.

Inside the library, a huge monster ghost picked up an entire shelf of books and dumped them all into its unhinged jaw. The ghost then spit them out like bullets covered in glowing slime, firing them at none other than the ghost boy himself. Phantom flew out of the way, aiming his own ecto-rays at the monster ghost.

Star watched the battle before her, completely frozen with awe.

Until the library doors slammed shut behind her with a loud bang.

The monster and Phantom both turned their heads in her direction. Star clasped her hands behind her back and smiled sheepishly.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Phantom, his eyes wide. "Don't you hear the alarms? You've gotta go back to your classroom now."

"I will, I promise," said Star. "I just—I mean, there's something I want to ask you—"

"Go now," barked Phantom. "You're gonna get hurt if you—"

The monster ghost swiped at Phantom's right side with a clawed hand, tearing his suit and drawing ectoplasm from the fresh wounds. Phantom clutched at his side and grunted in pain, more ectoplasm oozing between his gloved fingers.

Star stepped backward, her back hitting the doors behind her as she gripped the front of her shirt.

The monster ghost spit more books at Phantom, hitting him in his chest and sending him to the floor with a crash. Phantom groaned, still holding his side, surrounded by torn and damaged books. The monster swallowed another line of books off a shelf and turned back to Phantom, whose head was down as he examined his wounds.

"Ghost boy!" shrieked Star.

Phantom looked up just in time to see the monster spit another barrage of books. He held out his hand and directed a blast of ice at the books, freezing all of them in a wall of thick ice. The monster roared and began attempting to punch through the ice.

"You really should get out of here," said Phantom, still sitting on the floor as he turned his head toward Star.

"No," said Star. "I might never find you again."

The monster's fist sailed through the ice wall, splintering and shattering the middle section. Phantom blasted more ice to freeze the monster's fist in place. The monster howled as it tried to free its hand.

"Well, now that we've broken the ice…"

Phantom phased down through the floor and disappeared. Star furrowed her brow and looked up right as Phantom reappeared in the air behind the monster and blasted a concentrated ecto-ray at the back of its head.

"I think it's time to end this," finished Phantom.

The ecto-ray launched the monster forward, slamming it into the ice wall and then to the floor where it lay in a dazed heap. Phantom then unclipped a Thermos from his belt and aimed it at the monster. Star squinted at the label on the device. It did indeed read 'Fenton,' just as Paulina said.

A bright flash of light, and the monster ghost was gone, sucked away into the Thermos. Phantom placed a cap on the Thermos and sighed with relief. He then looked around the library from where he hovered in the air.

"Minimal damage this time," he said as the ghost alarms stopped blaring.

Star also looked around at the toppled bookcases and ruined books scattered on the floor. "This is minimal to you?"

"Well, the school's still standing, isn't it?"

Phantom reclipped the Thermos to his belt and landed on the floor in front of Star. He winced, bending a little at the waist as he placed a hand over his wounded side just above his right hip.

"Do you need to take care of that?" asked Star, noting the ectoplasm dripping down his jumpsuit and staining his white glove.

"What, this?" Phantom scoffed. "This is nothing."

He straightened up and lowered his arm, revealing three gashes that definitely didn't look like "nothing" to Star.

"Now what is so important that you had to risk your life to come see me in the middle of a ghost fight?" asked Phantom.

"Aw, I wasn't in any real danger." Star batted her eyes. "Not with a big strong hero like you around."

Phantom smirked. "I bet you can get guys to do just about anything for you with that kind of flattery, huh?"

"Hey." Star pouted. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm waiting for you to tell me what you want to say," said Phantom with a small but amicable laugh. "You're Star, right? Paulina's friend?"

"You know me?"

"I've seen you around."

"Hmm." Star pointed to the Thermos on his belt. "Well, I want to ask about that."

Phantom looked down. "What, my Thermos? I use it to catch ghosts."

"Okay, but why does it say 'Fenton' on it?"

"Uh—oh—um—"

"Do you know Danny Fenton?"

"I—no, not at all. Who's that?"

"Don't play dumb." Star put her hands on her hips. "I saw him run out of class right before the ghost alarm went off. He ran out to give you that Thermos thing so you could catch the ghost, didn't he?"

"Uh…" Phantom paused. "Yeah, that's exactly what happened. His parents are ghost hunters, and he sometimes lets me use their inventions to fight off ghost threats." He nodded emphatically. "Right, yes, that's why it says 'Fenton,' no other reason."

"So you do know him," said Star.

"Um…" Phantom rubbed his neck. "Yeah."

"Really well?"

"Well, we're not like best friends or anything. But you know, he's a pretty cool guy." Phantom gave her a sly smile. "But you already know that. I heard you used to date him."

Star fumed. "I did not—" She caught herself, breathed in and blew it out. "Well, if you know that, then you must know other things about him, right? I mean, you trust him enough to actually work with him when his parents have been trying to hunt you down. He could easily give you some invention that actually traps you, couldn't he?"

"Uh…" Phantom's eyes darted around the room. "I guess I know him well enough to trust him, yeah."

"So then you must know that his freckles glow when he gets excited."

Phantom stared at her.

"Do you know why it happens?" Star leaned forward. "It's a ghost-related thing, isn't it? But what is it exactly that causes it to happen?"

Phantom stared at her a couple more seconds. Then his mouth twitched and he burst out laughing.

Star wrinkled her nose. "What is so funny?"

"That's why you're here, that's why you came here to find me." Phantom smirked. "Danny wouldn't tell you, so you thought that maybe I would tell you."

"I—" Star huffed. "Well, yeah."

Phantom laughed some more. Star felt her face turning red as she clenched her fists by her sides.

"Stop laughing!" she snarled.

"I'm sorry, but that's hilarious," gasped Phantom through his laughter.

"Why?" Star tapped her foot and pressed her fists against her hips. "Why is it hilarious?"

Phantom continued laughing. Star fumed more and more as she waited for him to stop.

God, he was just as insufferable as Fenton.

Phantom's laughter began to die. He held out his hands and breathed out in a final, calming sigh. "Okay, okay, I'm good now."

Star folded her arms and scowled. "Are you gonna tell me or not?"

"Tell you what?"

"About Fenton's freckles!"

"Oh!" Phantom shook his head. "Nope."

"Why not?" Star whined.

"Because he trusts me, too," said Phantom. "And if he doesn't want you to know why his freckles glow, then I'm not about to tell you either."

Star groaned and stamped her foot.

"But listen, I can see this is really important to you for some reason," continued Phantom. "I mean, you put yourself in the middle of a ghost fight just to ask me about it, so I don't want to just leave you here with nothing."

Star's eyes widened as she clasped her hands and waited.

"I can give you a hint if you want," said Phantom. "But that's it."

Star scrunched her mouth. "What kind of hint?"

"Well, first, you have to answer just one question for me," said Phantom. "One question, and then I'll give you the hint." He pointed a finger at her. "But you have to promise you'll be honest."

"Only if it's a yes-or-no question," said Star mockingly with a sassy shake of her head.

"It's not a yes-or-no question."

"Then I'm not answering it."

"Fine. Then you don't get your hint."

Star sighed. "All right, whatever, have it your way. What's your question?"

"What do you really think about Danny Fenton?"

Star blinked several times. "Excuse me?"

"Danny Fenton." Phantom folded his arms. "What are your thoughts about him?"

Star glanced up at the ceiling a quick second. "My thoughts about him as what? As my classmate?"

"Just as a person," said Phantom. "In general. How do you feel about him?"

Star squinted. "Why do you care how I feel about Fenton?"

"Hey, you don't get to ask a question right now," said Phantom with a smile.

Star rolled her eyes. "He's a pain in the ass, that's how I feel about him."

"Okay, but what else?" asked Phantom. "Tell me honestly, come on."

Star scrunched her mouth, genuinely confused. "What else, like what?"

"Like, is he nice?" asked Phantom. "Maybe somehow not a total dweeb?"

Star laughed. "No, he's definitely a total dweeb. Gets all dopey about space and planets when I'm just trying to teach him math." She paused, thinking. "But…he can be weirdly thoughtful, I guess. I mean, he bought me orange roses for a total dickhead reason, but he at least remembered orange is my favorite color."

She thought about the way Fenton smiled at her, the flattering fit of his shirt.

"And he's not, like, hideous," Star continued. "He is kind of cute. I mean, you know, his eyes are a pretty blue color, and he's been putting on some muscle the past year, he's not all that scrawny anymore. And whatever cologne he wears, it smells nice."

Star paused, wondering why she was remembering the way Fenton smelled. But then she sniffed the air and it all made sense.

"Fenton really did give you that Thermos, didn't he?" Star leaned toward Phantom and sniffed again. "I can smell his cologne on you."

"Ah—" Phantom stumbled back one step. "So you really don't mind being around him?"

Star shrugged. "No. I guess being close to him isn't, like, repulsive. I really wouldn't mind tutoring him if he would just shut up and focus."

"He can do that," said Phantom with an eager nod. "Definitely."

Star quirked a brow.

"I mean, um—" Phantom cleared his throat. "So, would you ever go out with him on a real date, maybe?"

Star's face warmed. "Would I—what?"

"You're right, sorry." Phantom shook his head. "That's a new question. Forget I asked that."

A green blush flooded Phantom's cheeks. Star tilted her head, sticking out her bottom lip as she studied him.

"So, are we good?" she asked. "Do I get my hint now? About Fenton's freckles?"

"Oh, right." Phantom straightened. "The hint is, his freckles didn't always glow. I mean, he wasn't born like that. It was an accident."

"An accident? What kind of accident?"

"Well, now, I can't tell you that."

Star groaned and rolled her eyes.

"But is that an okay hint?" asked Phantom.

"Will you give me another if I say no?" asked Star.

Phantom laughed. "No, that's all you get."

"Then I guess it's fine."

"But I mean, does it help you at all?"

Star pouted as she studied Phantom, who appeared almost anxious for her approval.

"Yeah." Star nodded. "It does. Thanks, ghost boy."

"You can just call me 'Danny.'" Phantom jerked his head in a quick shake. "Or 'Phantom.' You know, whatever feels right to you."

Star smiled. "Okay. Phantom."

Phantom smiled back. Star couldn't help but notice that his eyes held such a pretty glimmer to them, gently ebbing with a peridot pulse.

And then Phantom hissed and clutched at his side.

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Star.

"I probably should clean it up," said Phantom, his gloved hand still covering the gashes.

"Right, yeah, you probably should," said Star.

They both nodded, but neither of them moved. They stared at each other, a strange energy in the air between them.

And for a moment, Star understood exactly why Paulina was so enamored with this boy.

But there was something else about him, something that reminded her of a different boy with dark hair and blue eyes that also seemed to glimmer at times.

"Um, so, to answer your last question…" Star wrung her hands. "I guess I wouldn't be completely against going on a real date with Fenton."

Phantom's eyes widened, his snowy eyelashes fluttering a couple times.

And then little spots of green light began twinkling across his nose and cheeks, even brighter than his ghostly glow already was.

Star's mouth fell open.

"Uhhhhhhh," was all she could get out.

"Star?" Phantom frowned, his freckles dimming. "Everything okay?"

"Uh—yeah, I'm fine." Star forced herself to nod. "I, uh—I should get back to class."

"Me too," said Phantom. "Uh, I mean, not class—I mean—I should go, too."

Phantom floated into the air, his legs melding into a transparent ghost tail before he zoomed away, phasing through a wall. Star stared after him, too dumbfounded to move, trying to figure out if she really just saw what she thought she saw.

Because did that mean—?

No, no, impossible.

Or was it—?

Star turned on her heel and pushed through the library doors out into the hall. She opened the door to Lancer's classroom and scanned all the faces, immediately locating Fenton's. He was sitting at his desk, staring at her like everyone else.

"Miss Rainsdon, please take your seat," said Lancer from the front of the room. "You weren't supposed to leave, not when there's an active ghost threat in the school."

Star ignored him and stared at Fenton, meeting his big blue eyes looking as dopey as ever.

He was here, right here in class.

So he couldn't have been out in the library with her just moments earlier.

Right?

Star narrowed her eyes and entered the classroom, studying Fenton as she walked past him toward her seat.

He smiled at her.

Star's heart quickened.

Why did he have to have such a nice smile?

Star sank into her seat and pulled her hair in front of her ears, hoping to hide the blooming flush in her cheeks.

#danny phantom #star error #imekitty writes #star rainsdon #danny fenton #danny/star #I meant to post this yesterday and forgot lol

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Holiday weekend everyone. We only have 3 left in this season. Hard to believe. Not a ton of Chenford content in this one but just enough ha It has some important stuff in it though. But definitely shorter than the last one let’s get started :)

2x18 Under The Gun

We start our episode off with some very welcomed shirtless Tim. I’m here all damn day for this. *puddle* He then changes into a black shirt. Trying to kill me even further whew lord. God he's so tall too. Look at him tall drink of yummy water. Making me feral per usual ha I want to add I would LOVE a scene like this for Chenford in S6. Tim getting ready for the day, Lucy hanging out with Kojo on the bed while he does. Her gawking at him a bit as he gets ready. A girl can dream eh?

But lets get back on track before I go further down that rabbit hole. heh. Tim tells Rachel she should start leaving stuff at his place. Look at him ready to make that move. She makes a face and he cracks a joke that it’s illegal to lie to a cop. Rachel breaks and tells him she got her dream job. Tim is all smiles and cuteness until she says it’s in New York…

Tim looks so sad but tells her she’s gotta take it. Dream jobs only come around once. He asks when does she start? It’s in one month. Quick turnaround and his head is spinning. She mentions New York has cops. Heh they do but you are not the one he will shift for honey sorry to say. Sorta. Not really. Tim just replies ‘Yeah…’ not the confident reply Rachel was looking for…

We catch our fav duo meeting up with Rachel for a case. Lucy immediately brings up New York. Seeing if Tim is ready to talk about it. Also Tim the king of plans she expects him to have one for this. He is straight forward with Lucy when she asks what they’re gonna do? For Tim it’s already over in his mind. There is no end date to this job of hers. She is leaving LA and isn't coming back. To Tim that is game over. (I mean unless it's the one which we all know she is not)

Tells her long distance never works and he seems dead set on that. Defeated but definitely definitive about the whole situation. Lucy’s face kills me when he says this. She’s so sad for him. Probably sadder for Tim than she is for Rachel. When she set them up it was to help Tim. Show him he could be happy post-Isabel. Shake him out of his routine. Now he’s going to lose all that and she’s devastated. Looks like she wants to give him a hug honestly. She hates it when he is all defeatist and you can tell she just wants to fix it. Sadly this is one thing she can not intervene in and fix.

They meet up with Rachel and it already seems awkward. She thanks them for coming. They are there in case her visit with the mom goes sideways. She’s there for a truancy call. The kid in question has missed a lot of school due to mystery illness. Rachel thinks it might be a scam especially since the mom started a go-fund me page for his medical bills.

Rachel seems suspect as hell with this lady. He goes to the hospital gets better then comes back home and is sick again. She thinks she is poisoning her own kid for attention. Lucy seems sick to her stomach about the whole thing. They both do. Can see it on their faces. Tim asks her what she wants to do?

We cut to them outside. Tim looking fine as hell leaning against their shop. How can someone be that attractive just filling out paper work? Anyways...Rachel asks Lucy if Tim would ever leave LA ? Lucy is honest with her and lets her know she’s not sure. Lucy knows how much he loves LA. He is proud af to be be born and bred. Which really means no if we're being honest. The man bleeds LAPD. Lucy can tell how sad Rachel looks with her answer. So she follows it up with how crazy Tim is about her. (Not crazy enough to follow her though….)

Lucy tries to make it better and says the man is a mystery. To Rachel yes. Not to her though....She has the book of Tim right in her pocket. Their convo gets interrupted by Paul’s mom coming out. Asking what they’re doing? Rachel says they’re taking him back to the hospital. It’s a sad scene to watch. Rachel basically removes her own child from her care. Saying she is a danger to him pending a full investigation. Tim and Lucy have to hold her back while they take him.

Tim comes to see Grey in his office. Asking him how hard it would be to make a lateral move? Wade lets him know it would be seamless. Tim ask what about the NYPD? Grey sighs and tells him that’s a whole other beast. That he would have to start from square one. Go through the FTO program before he could go back out on the streets. That he would be the John Nolan of the NYPD LOL Tim looks mortified about this. Like that is an instant no for him. There was no way he can do that.

Grey continues on saying it would be a big sacrifice. But if Rachel is the one it would be worth it. That’s the thing though she’s not. What proves Lucy being his person over and over is moments like this. In S5 Tim doesn’t blink before taking a desk job for her. If that’s the path that keeps him with her that’s the one he’s going to take. Grey even says it's not a great job and he replies ' Doesn't matter.' If Rachel was the one it wouldn't matter he would have to do all this for her.

His hesitancy is written all over this scene. The more Grey tells him the more we see him withdraw. With Lucy his decisions were always decisive and quick. In his mind when it came to her there was no choice. She was his choice. Every time. I’ve said this all this season Rachel had her place in his life for a reason. I am grateful for her I truly am. Her reason was meant to show him he could date again. Not only that but have a functioning healthy relationship as well. That saying people are in your life for a reason or a season is accurate.

Rachel was both. She served her purpose in the best way for him. Helped him heal post divorce. It was never meant to last. She was a stepping stone to Lucy. Which sounds cruel but also true. Wade gives him some dating advice. Tells him to be sure. Because moving in together is hard enough. Let alone a new city, jobs and no social network to lean on. Tim doesn’t linger after that just says 'Thanks' curtly and goes. Grey takes one last shot says ‘Anytime Boot!’ Haha He is getting a major kick out of giving Tim a hard time.

Tim runs into Rachel shortly after. She’s in an absolute panic. Tim tries to get her to calm down and tell him what’s going on. She discovered her co-workers have kids in the same neighborhood with similar issues. That they switched to well water 4 months ago due to construction. Paul got sick 3 months ago. Rachel is in a panic because there was a lawsuit with a company about dumping heavy metals in the water 5 years ago and they said it was cleaned up. Clearly not… Since the well water is making these kids sick.

Now Rachel may have taken a child away from his mother for no reason. I do love seeing how soft Tim is in this moment. It’s not Lucy Level soft but soft none the less. At this point in the series it’s so nice to see this side of him. Like I’ve said before their relationship was insight to Tim in a relationship and how he operates. It was a nice window into it since all we had before her was Isabel. Also a future look into how he would be with Lucy.

What does Tim do right after this? Go right to his girl. Little telling things that showed the entire time Lucy was his better half. She is the first person he runs to and vice versa. He asks if she’s heard from Rachel at all? Lucy says no…why? Tim lets her know the situation with Iris and her son. That Rachel blames herself. That she’s ignoring his calls and texts right now. He is very worried and needs Lucy's help.

I love that when he’s in a panic about Rachel his first thought is to go right to his safe space. Needs her calming sunshine ways to ease him. Hoping her POV is going to calm his anxiety. Tim wanting her to reassure him she won't do anything stupid. The concern and empathy in her eyes she has for him. My heart. That innate need to want to comfort and make it better for him. Lucy’s face says it all tbh when Tim asks if she is going to do anything stupid? I think she knows Rachel could very well do something stupid about this…

We find out shortly after Rachel did something she shouldn't have. She stalked owner of the company and pretended the water she threw on him was contaminated. Tim is able to get her cited out fairly quickly. Then we get another glimpse into the amazing heart of this man. How deeply he cares for those around him. What he is willing to do for them. He pulled some personal favors for her. Got them to reverse Rachel’s order to pull Paul from his home.

He’s so sweet and earnest about it. Rachel is in shock he even did this for her. Especially since she’s leaving. It’s like she doesn’t know this man at all. Of course he was going to help even if she was leaving. It’s who he is. A deeply loyal and loving person. Who will do anything for those who’ve earned his love and trust. Why he replies 'Duh.' Shocked she would expect any less of him. His love and loyalty doesn't just evaporate because she is leaving. Adore this man so much.

We get one last glimpse of our couple decompressing with Jackson and Angela. It's kind of nice to see actually. Jackson tells them he has a funny story for them. That the tech guy who flagged Angela as the most likely to get sued was wrong. He rode around with them all day trying to study her and had the wrong person. He picked the wrong Lopez. Jackson is legit tickled pink this has happened. Sadly he seems to be the one one haha Lucy has been around Tim too long cause she doesn’t even crack a smile about this LOL More like a pity smirk for her friend. Tim and Angela just judge poor Jackson baha Funny way to end the ep. Very low content Chenford so but important none the less with Rachel’s impending departure and all that.

~~~~

Side notes- Non Chenford

Prison SL with Harper and Nolan was good. always enjoy watching Oscar haha that’s pretty much it LOL

Only 2 episodes left in the season after this one and it’s an adrenaline fest. Thank you all who continually like/comment (how I love comments), reblog you’re all amazing thank you so much. Shall see you in 2x19 :)

#Caitlin Rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #summer rewatch #s2 #2x18 Under The Gun #the rookie 2x18 #waiting on s6 #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well #otp: some things matter more #tim bradford #lucy chen #the rookie #eric winter #melissa o’neil #tim bradford x lucy chen

[jazz-bazz]

the lab coat au brainrot be brainrotting, i had class today and i keep thinking of alpha as my prof… i walk through my building and i keep thinking of sunny getting lost… so here we have sunshine and mountain‘s first meeting, yay!

Flower Bookmarks

Friday afternoons are usually reserved for pack, Mountain usually got lunch with the others and then near the end of the work day they usually gather in an empty classroom to play some boardgames, Catan is a group favourite for some reason, or maybe because it’s the only one they have here on campus, and then usually they’d end the day at Zenith, where they’d watch Zephyr play and Swiss sing, Aether loosening up with his boyfriend Copia, owner and bartender of Zenith, after a whole day of quantum equations and whatever, and also watching Rain and Dew pining over each other obliviously.

But this Friday is unusual, Mountain couldn’t get lunch with the pack, he had some problems with his reaction and had to redo it, also he probably wouldn’t be able to join the board game session if he wanted to at least isolate something today, and then maybe he’ll have enough time to evaporate the solvent and take an NMR spectrum of the isolated substance that he can work on on the weekend and report to Cumulus on Monday.

He finally has about 2 hours to get something to eat, while his reaction is cooking and Swiss said he’s going to keep an eye on it while Mountain is out. So here he is, on his way to Caféine in hopes of some muffins or bagels, if there are any left, if not then Terzo’s diner it is, even though it’s going to take longer and he’s still anxious about his reaction.

He was still thinking if he should’ve used a different catalyst for this one, when suddenly someone bumped into him. It’s a woman, ghoulette too, judging by her scent and the slight magic he sensed, though he can’t pinpoint the element, so maybe a multi ghoulette? In any case, she’s someone he’s never seen before, with curly bright orange hair, who was apparently also distracted by something on her phone, “Oh my, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” The tiny woman said.

“No harm done, I was also not paying attention,” Mountain shrugged, “Anyways, have a good day!”

“Wait a second, could I ask you a question, I’m kinda new here.”

“Oh, sure! Shoot! I’m Mountain by the way, earth if it’s not obvious from the name,” Mountain smiled.

“I’m Sunshine, or Sunny, air and fire, and I’m looking for Professor Alpha’s room, I’m supposed to meet him in about 10 minutes and I’ve been going around and around looking for his room, mind telling me where it is?”

“I could show you, c’mon,” Mountain said while walking in the direction of the physchem section of the building, “So, physical chemistry huh? PhD or Master?”

“Master, and yeah, his research sounds interesting and not that far from what I did for my Bachelor’s so… here I am. And thank you so much, Mountain.”

“Not a problem, I’ve been needing some distractions today. It’s been a long day and nothing is working yet.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, do you also work here?”

“Yeah, I’m doing my PhD research under Professor Cumulus, you were in the organic chemistry section before, no Professor Alpha over there,” Mountain smirked.

“Stop it,” Sunshine laughed, “This is barely even my first day here, and the internet page is not helping at all.”

“I don’t think they’ve updated it since ages ago,” Mountain said with a chuckle, “And here we are, Alpha’s office.”

“Oh, again, thank you so much, Mountain!”

“If the meeting doesn't take too long and you’re free afterwards, would you maybe be interested in getting lunch with me? Not like a date or something, but just friends you know? I could show you a few things around campus and, yeah, something like that,” Mountain stammered with a blush high on his cheeks.

“Sure, I think we’re just gonna talk about my schedule for next week and the general premise of what I will be doing, so maybe 10 to 15 minutes? Is that okay or are you in a rush?”

“No, no that’s fine, I don’t have anything urgent unless my reaction explodes or something, but my friend is keeping an eye there. Go, Alpha doesn’t like it when people are late.”

“Oh right, thank you!”

Mountain waited outside Alpha’s office while fiddling on his phone, annoying Swiss by asking him about his reaction, even though they both know it’s fine, Mountain followed all the steps carefully and it’s not gonna explode or anything. Just then Omega walks by, a bit surprised to see Mountain in the physchem area, “Hi Mountain, fancy seeing you here.”

“Oh, hi Meg, Alpha gets a new ghoul and she got lost in our area, so I took her here and we are going to get lunch to get to know each other because she’s new and all, and I didn’t get lunch with the others earlier.”

“Huh,” Omega nodded, “Reaction problems?” He asked, earning a nod from Mountain, “Well good luck with that, and with the lady. Have a nice date! I’ll tell Dew and Aether not to disturb you.”

“Thanks! Wait, what? It’s not a date Meg!” But Omega is already walking away, back to his own office.

#lab coat au #bex keysmash #sunshine ghoulette #mountain ghoul #sunny mountain #ghost fics #my lab supervisors actually played catan during lab hours wkwkw

[quirrrky]

THE BOY NEXT DOOR 「PROLOGUE」

『MASTERLIST』  MOODBOARD • NXT »

𐑂 900+ words 𐑂 Your new neighbor, Miya Atsumu, is everything you’ll never ask for. With his annoying good looks and equally irritating charm, how can you not resist the boy next door? 𐑂 neighbors, humor, enemies to lovers, fake dating, friends to lovers

You tilted your head to stretch your neck, releasing any form of muscle tension. You'd been working hard non-stop yet some of your workmates did nothing but to chat and gossip around. 

"The apartment building in front mine is under investigation because of that so-called killer." One of them asked.

"Oh, really? Really?"

Your workmate, Nako, turned to you. "I heard he's targeting single women around. It's such a shame to be single nowadays. Isn't it Y/N?" You shook it off as you typed onto your keyboard. She’s not even doing her job! "Be careful, okay?" She added, as she fluttered her eyelashes.

You smiled, dryly. "I'm fine, Nako. Please just hand me the form that I need for processing."

Honestly, you really didn't give much thought about this serial killer thing. What's actually killing you was your new neighbor. 

At first, the land lady especially entrusted you the entire top floor for helping her out with some paperworks. You've been living a sweet life for a year now, enjoying peace and serenity of your home, until a new neighbor arrived last week.

It's only been one week since he started occupying the vacant unit next to you, yet it felt like he's gonna ruin your existence there. If you had a choice, you could've transferred to a different place, but the landlady offered you a cheaper rate and it was the closest one to your office. 

Drawing in a deep sigh, you remembered the noises he and his buddies would make during very inconvenient times. There were suspicious and loud wall banging too that just won't put you to sleep almost every night. 

You hadn't seen your neighbor yet nor had any glimpse of him, but you're sure he could very well be an ugly bastard with low-life buddies.

Cringe. You couldn't believe you'd be sharing the entire floor alone with such a human being. Just the thought of him made your blood boil. You really hoped he'd take a vacation even just for a weekend or probably forever. 

Packing your things up, you took a look in your monitor. It's already 11pm and you're just about to go home. The whole office area was out already and you greeted the security guard before heading out.

The streets were dark and the crowd must've went home already. Your way was just illuminated by lamplights and there were just few dogs barking around being heard. It was very quiet until the trash can suddenly tipped over, scaring the life out of you. 

Who could it be?

Now, your mind travelled to the gossips about the serial killer on the loose. You shivered, thinking for your life when you saw a cat went out of the can. You sighed in relief but your eyes didn't fail to notice a torn news paper page about the said murders. 

You walked through your home with extra caution while praying that you won't ever come across the killer. Ever. Your eyes wandered around, speculative of your environment. You only became comfortable once you reached your apartment building. 

Finally...

The elevator doors opened in no time and you immediately pressed your floor, thinking about the fact that you're close to safety inside your home. It was about to close when a hand came in between to stop it.

Your eyes widened and heart began beating faster in nervousness. A tall man came in. He was tall. Very tall. He was wearing a black cap and a face mask. Even beneath his dark-colored jacket, you could see how strong he was through his body structure. He didn't press any floor, instead he hit the close-doors button.

You couldn't do anything but freeze. Who's this guy? You've never known anyone like him in the area. You snuck a side glance at him and noticed that his knuckles were bloody wounded. You pinned your gaze on the elevator buttons; through the reflection on the mirror, you saw him looking intently at you. You were shaking. Was today the end of your life?

The doors opened to your floor and you rushed out of it. Good thing, that your apartment was the one near the elevator. Or was it bad? He walked passed you and was welcomed by several men.

"Tsum Tsum, ahhh you didn't see it. I smashed the thing straight in the head!"

S-Smash? T-Thing? Straight in the head? You froze both in curiosity and fear.

"I thought y'all went home already." He sighed. 

It's him! The specific voice you'd been hearing frequently next door.

"Not until I cleaned up the bloody crime scene you created." A more serious and stern voice interjected.

Bloody crime scene? You couldn't think of anything anymore. In panic, you fished for your keys inside your bag. Damn it! Out of all time, why would it be lost in this moment? Feeling the metallic curve, you finally caught your keys, but fumbled around it that it fell through your hand.

Shit!

You sat on your haunches to pick up your keys when, in attempt to pick it up for you, he accidentally took a hold of your hand. You shook at the contact, scared at being cornered. Gradually, you turned to look at him only to be surprised. His mask now resided around his chin, revealing a clear glimpse of his facial features. From his lazy doe eyes to his foxy grin...you gulped. This was not what you're expecting. 

Hastily, you took your hand away from his hold and picked up the keys, unlocking your apartment.

"Have a grea-" He attempted to greet you, but you shut the door on his face without letting him finish. An uneasy and heavy feeling started to creep on him as he stared at your door, speechless and humiliated. 

At that night, well sought-after star athlete Miya Atsumu, was ignored and rejected for the very first time. He’d never forget this. 

𐑂 AN : So...it’s Atsumu who won! This time...It’s a full series with him <333 Can’t wait to bond over this project with you guys. I really hope this’ll work here. I know there has been plenty of Tsumu neighbors to lovers thing that has been around already but I’ll make sure to create one that’s cut above the rest. I’m still nervous of the outcome, but I assure you that I’ll bring you to a new rollercoaster ride like how I usually do.

𐑂 TAGLIST : drop the ff emoji on my ask box to be added 🔔

REBLOGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED ♡ Please help me reach other viewers. Thank you so so much!

© quirrrky 2022 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means.

 ✧ DAYDREAM MUSEUM ✧

#⼾ the boy next door #atsumu x reader #atsumu fic #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu fic #hq fic #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x y/n #atsumu x you #atsumu x female reader

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey is: Chapter Fourteen: Scientific Marvel

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

After how badly the conversation in the car during the trip back from Black Mesa had gone, Gordon was reluctant to try to have another talk with Benrey about what he was or where he came from. His curiosity about it refused to dissipate though, if anything it only grew stronger the better he got to know Benrey personally. And then he’d gone and asked Gordon why he was being nice to him, adding the question of how bad had his life been in the lab, exactly? Not something Gordon needed to know, none of it was. But wondering about it gave him something to do while practicing writing with his left hand.

They were more settled now though and better friends. If he went about it the right way Gordon could probably get more out of Benrey. Nothing too personal of course but maybe more about his powers and maybe help him figure out if he was made in the lab or was an kidnapped alien. It was awfully sad he didn’t know, right? So Gordon could bring it up tactfully and politely, make clear that even if his intentions weren’t entirely pure, part of it came from a good place.

First came getting Benrey alone for it. Easy because they lived in the same house with no one else. Not so easy was the next step; actually starting the conversation. Oddly despite having grown the need for constant company and frequent conversation, purposefully choosing to talk about something heavy was still a daunting task. There was nothing else to do but to get to it though so on the morning of his first day off work since starting to set up the new lab – there was still more to do there but he was due a weekend – he brought Benrey into the kitchen.

Leaning against the counter, Benrey crossed his arms over his chest as he looked up at Gordon.“What’s this about?”

“Well, first I wanna say if I ask you anything that you don’t wanna talk about or makes you uncomfortable for whatever reason, just say so and I’ll drop it.” A thing he should’ve made clear the first time he’d tried to talk to Benrey about stuff but at least he was doing it now. “Second, while I fully admit that part of the reason I wanna know more about you and what you are is because you’re a scientific marvel, the main reasons are you’re my friend and I care about you and I think it’s sad you don’t know if you you were made in the lab or were just brought there when you were a baby. Maybe with the right information I could help you get more of an idea on which it is. We on the same page?” He paced the length of the kitchen while going through his little speech, stopping at the end to look at Benrey.

Benrey’s expression hadn’t changed. “And if I say I don’t wanna talk about this at all?”

“I’ll uh… drop it, like I said. Do you want me to?” It would be disappointing but he tried to be a good guy and Benrey was his friend so he wouldn’t push if Benrey didn’t want him.

Silence as Benrey stared at him, frowning slightly as he apparently thought about it. Finally though, just when Gordon was about to prompt him for an answer, he replied. “I don’t care what I am but fine, if that makes you sad for whatever dumb reason, you can try to find out.”

“Do you really not care or are you saying you don’t because it’s easier to not care?”

“Just… do whatever you’re gonna do to try to figure out what I am so we can move on from it already.”

“Are you mad at me for wanting to know?” Gordon couldn’t tell, he was hard to read.

“Hmm… nah.” He could be lying of course but if they really were friends now, Gordon was going to take him at his word.

“All right, cool. First, this probably won’t help but could you… explain the skeletons?” That was definitely one of Benrey’s odder powers. “Like the ones that fought with you on Xen.”

“Oh uh… they’re just my boney dudes. I can summon them and have them do stuff for me for like an hour or so before they go away. They’re kinda… a lot though. Making one when all the Xen stuff was around at Black Mesa wasn’t too bad and making them on Xen was easy but uh… I could maybe try to make a small one, never tried that before, might be easier but… eh.”

It was tempting to encourage him to try. Gordon wanted to see what all he could do if he was willing to show it. But at the same time he’d snapped last time when he’d seemed to have inferred Gordon wanted him to put on a show. So difficult as it was, he would refrain for now, instead… “Only and hour or so, I swear the one skeleton that no one but me could see followed me around for like half the day or longer. I guess my sense of time wasn’t great at the time so I can’t say for sure.”

“Uh… what you mean by ‘no one but you could see’?”

“I mean the one that only I saw when everyone else was saying there was nothing there. It fucking shot at me at one point. That was one of your boney dudes or whatever… right?” It had to be. What else could it have possibly been?

“Don’t think that one was mine.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yep. Mine can’t can’t be invisible at all, especially not to only some people.”

Gordon stared at him for several more seconds but failed to get anything. “So it had nothing to do with you whatsoever?” After seeing the skeletons in Xen Gordon had assumed that all of the skeletons he’d encountered were connected to Benrey is some way.

“Nope.”

“What was it then?”

Benrey shrugged. “A ghost maybe. That place’s gotta be haunted, right? Or maybe it was another uh… escaped experiment. I got out and Bubby got out so why not other things too?”

And here Gordon had been thinking everything, as bad as it had all been, had been wrapped up in a neat bow. It was all if not understood, at least had a known reason for happening and more importantly was finished happening. But there was potentially a skeleton creature out there doing who knows what? What if it came back? … Surely it would’ve done so by now if it was going to, right? There wasn’t really anything Gordon could do but hope that it wouldn’t. And so…

He set to pacing the kitchen, walking its full length, which wasn’t far. “Getting back on track since that’s an entirely different mystery that I’m not prepared to tackle.” Not yet anyway, maybe later he’d tried to figure out what that was. “Speaking of Xen and your skeletons, uh… while there, you mentioned something about us… playing in the sand as kids? Or something like that. What was that about?” He would surely remember if he had a childhood friend that was a shape shifter escaped from a science center to play with him. But then again, if he hadn’t known that that was what he was dealing with or if he’d had his mind wiped or something… it might hold merit. And if that was the case it would mean Black Mesa had locations elsewhere and Benrey had been made/housed in one of those and then moved to the main one.

Benrey’s head moved, following Gordon’s pacing. “I was messing with ya, trying to see if I could upset you by making you think we knew each other as kids. People get weirded out by that kinda stuff.”

“Awesome, great, good to know my memory hadn’t been wiped.” Of all the explanations, that one was the least distressing. It had just been Benrey being Benrey. “Speaking of you being a kid though uh… I guess, what’s your earliest memory?” Chances were it wouldn’t give many clues about what kind of creature he was but it might and should still be interesting regardless.

“Uh… hmm… I bit one of my handlers and wouldn’t let go. On the arm, I think, maybe the hand. Everyone got real mad. It’s uh… think it’s the first time I died and came back. Which is maybe why I remember it. They started putting a muzzle on me ‘til I learned how to phase out of it which made them real nervous for a while.” No word on what killed him but it was obvious though, wasn’t it? His handlers to make him let go.

Gordon slowed to halt as he spoke, turning to face him properly again. He hadn’t intended to bring anything like that up. “That’s real fucked up. I’m sorry. How old were you when that happened?” Though maybe it best to not know.

“No idea. I was small enough that they could lift me to try to get me to let go though. But uh… might’ve just chosen to be that small or couldn’t make myself much bigger at the time. I don’t remember. It was fun though, made them afraid to get too close for a while. It’s why I got away with stealing the Game Boy, no one wanted to risk trying to steal it back.”

He wasn’t outwardly upset but… Gordon couldn’t just let that slide, could he? So he walked over and patted him on the shoulder. A hug would’ve been too awkward to go for. “You deserved better.”

Benrey sighed and rolled his eyes. “I just told you it was fun. They were scared of me, that was funny. I literally got a Game Boy outta it. So don’t… don’t get all sad ‘bout it. I’ve already been through all that with Tommy already and it was lame.”

Gordon withdrew his hand and stepped back. “Sorry.” If Benrey didn’t want comfort, that was fine with him because he had no idea how to give it. “But um… I guess moving on…. what’s the full list of things you can do?”

“You’ve uh… seen everything already… I think.” Which didn’t answer the question but he wasn’t saying he didn’t want to talk about it as Gordon had told him to do if he needed so presumably it was okay to continue this line of questioning.

Things being even more awkward now, Gordon set to pacing again. Benrey’s gaze followed him as he did so, he didn’t dare meet it but he sure could feel it. “We’ve been over the skeletons, you can come back from the dead, the Black Mesa sweet voice…”

“That’s not unique to me. Sunkist’s and Coomer’s got it too, remember?”

Gordon stopped in his tracks. “Wait, I guess Sunkist, yeah, sure, but Dr. Coomer? Since when?”

“Bro, he’s literally used it right in front you. There’s no way you’re just now finding out about this.”

“Uh… you’re joking, right?” Gordon didn’t want to believe it. “There’s no way I’m that stupid.”

“Nope. You’re that stupid.”

He could still be trying to pull a prank but… Gordon had been going through a lot. Missing something like that wasn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility if Dr. Coomer hadn’t done it often. He’d have to ask Dr. Coomer about it later. For now though… “Um… getting back on track, you can also heal. And that can supposedly be… drawn from you or something? Your blood goes into the goo in the health packs apparently… or went since you’re not doing that anymore. So does that mean if you like, smear your blood on someone who’s injured, it’ll heal them?”

Benrey shrugged. “Probably. They never did it raw so… we could test it. Try my uh… hand idea.” He held up his right hand and wriggled his fingers as if that somehow made the idea more enticing.

“Uh… no thanks on that. But we could try a less intense test and then if that works, maybe we’ll return to that hand idea later.” He was getting used to having only one hand but it was still less than ideal. More of his arm would have to be removed to even try Benrey’s idea though and that was the real blocking point on even attempting it. But even if it failed, he could get a proper prosthetic instead of the gun hand. … An idea for later because even the thought of surgical removal made him queasy.

“Lame but fine.” Benrey opened the drawer next to where he was still leaning against counter and pulled out a knife from within. One of the sharp ones meant for dicing vegetables that Gordon had bought even whilst knowing he would never use it because he only had one hand now and he’d never been good at dicing with two. “Give me your hand. We’ll uh… cut our palms and shake like a blood oath.”

Maybe a dumb idea, certainly an unsanitary one. But well, after surviving the resonance cascade, Gordon didn’t care as much as he probably should even if he was risking getting a blood-borne illness. And so he stopped pacing and stepped up to Benrey again, holding out his one and only remaining hand like the absolute idiot that he was. Of all people to trust to slice open his palm, someone who’d only learned recently that humans didn’t grow back lost body parts probably was high on the list of folk who shouldn’t be trusted to safely do such a thing.

Despite that he made no move to withdraw as Benrey grabbed his wrist in his unnaturally cold smooth hand and pulled it a bit closer. His other hand lifted the knife, pressing its tip to the heel of Gordon’s hand. He almost flinched but… held steady. What was wrong with him? Why was he doing this? Benrey pressed the tip down and pulled it across, creating a deep diagonal slice across Gordon’s palm.

It hurt but… with how sharp and clean the cut was, not nearly as bad as it could’ve. He barely winced as he took his hand back. The blood pooling in his palm was uncomfortably warm as it dripped over the sides to the floor. Damn, he was gonna have to clean that up later.

Wordlessly, Benrey turned the now bloody knife onto his own hand next. He did the exact same cut, seemingly just a deep. In the full light of day, steaming in through the kitchen window, his blood was noticeably a little darker than Gordon’s and seemed to have a purple tint to it, making it a purplish-red instead of the crimson usually associated with blood. Counter to other times he’d been injured, the cut didn’t close.

“I can uh… let it not heal if I don’t want it too,” he said in way of explanation as he looked back up at Gordon. “I’m also letting it hurt ‘cause… I can do that too. Now uh… shake.” He lifted his bleeding hand.

Gordon took it, giving it a slight but firm squeeze like he’d been taught to when shaking someone’s hand. As expected at this point, Benrey’s blood was fairly cool temperature wise, feeling almost cold in comparison to Gordon’s own blood, confirming the theory that, whatever he was, he was cold-blooded. And maybe it was just Gordon’s imagination but the sting in his palm seemed to fade.

Upon taking his hand back, he looked at it but it was hard to tell if it was actually healed under their mixed blood. Before he could step to the sink to rinse it…

“It work?” Benrey asked, drawing Gordon’s gaze back onto him just in time for him to stick out an naturally long tongue and lap up the blood off his own hand. Another couple passes and his hand, the cut on it gone, was basically clean. Gross but well…

Gordon lifted his hand and stuck his own tongue to it, trying to get just the purplish blood from Benrey. It was bitter, almost in a medicinal way. Kind of like tasting strong unflavored cough syrup mixed with blood. Cringing, he moved the sink to wash the rest of it off the normal way. “I can’t believe I just did that, ugh.” He’d swallowed it too for some reason, making him gag now.

Benrey slid up next to him. “Didn’t take you for a blood drinker.”

He spat in the sink a couple times, getting as much of the taste out of his mouth that he could. “Shut up, asshole. You consumed way more than I did. But uh… we did confirm you’re cold-blooded and it worked.” The cut on his palm was gone, not even a scar remained.

“Neat. Wanna try my hand idea now?”

“Still no. Maybe later.”

“Damn. But uh… that tell you anything ‘bout what I am?”

With a sigh, Gordon turned the faucet off. “Not really. ‘Cause you could’ve been made in the lab specifically with the healing blood in mind or it might’ve been an accidental side effect of something they did while making you. Or they brought you into the lab because of the healing blood and snatched you super young to make it easier and less likely for you to try to run away. You probably came from a egg if so… though I guess I can’t really say for sure. I just know cold-blooded animals normally hatch from eggs.” While he spoke, he dried his hands and then took that same towel to the floor to soak up their blood. This would be another test to see if Benrey’s blood would stain.

“So I might’ve maybe come from an egg, got it. Real uh… insightful information. Gonna give up on figuring it out?”

“Not unless you want me to.”

“Eh, I still don’t care.”

“Well then, the main thing that’ll tell us something is your shape shifting. Is that like uh… your true form?”

“What?”

“Like uh… when you’re not shape shifting, what do you look like? Your default form or what you looked liked before you shape shifted for the first time. If you’re made by humans it’d probably be human shaped, right? I guess it wouldn’t have to be. But if it’s something super alien, you’re probably an alien, right?”

“Oh uh… I always choose what I look like. I don’t think… I don’t know if I have a true or default form.” His expression was unreadable as he looked up at Gordon but he no longer looked entirely indifferent to the topic. “Does it matter?”

Gordon could say again that he found it sad Benrey had lived such a live that no one had ever cared enough about him to talk to him about such things but that apparently wasn’t enough for him. There was more to it than that and Gordon’s general curiosity though. “Because if you’re an alien it would mean you’re not the only one of your kind. You might have like a family out there somewhere, upset that their egg got stolen by a bunch of asshole scientists however many years ago. Or even if you were made in the lab you would know for sure that you don’t. Either way it’s kinda sad of course but… I don’t know, I just think it’d be nice to know. But it’s you so… however you feel about it is fine.” Gordon being sad on his behalf if he really, truly didn’t care was a bit presumptuous.

Benrey was silent for several long seconds, long enough that Gordon almost asked him if he was okay, before finally replying. “I don’t wanna talk ‘bout this anymore. I’m gonna go for a walk.”

“Oh, I…” Gordon cut off as Benrey turned and went straight through the kitchen wall, straight outside. “Damn, okay.” He could follow, run out the door and catch up, but if something he’d said caused Benrey to be upset, he probably shouldn’t. And if Benrey wanted company he’d have invited Gordon to come with him, right? So he’d have to apologize when Benrey got back.

Until then he was home alone. Which was fine, he could handle that. … Or he could go to someone else’s place for a bit to hang out, that’s why they all lived within walking distance after all. Tempting as that was though, if Benrey was indeed eventually going to move out on his own, Gordon needed to get used to living alone eventually. Ripping that bandaid off early would probably make it a bit easier to bear, right? He could go for visit one or each of the Science Team after like an hour if Benrey hadn’t returned by then. Practice for the real thing and all. He’d be fine alone that long, surely.

***

Benrey could walk to Bubby’s house, it was only like five minutes away if he went fast, less if he phased through some stuff. But fuck that, he had a phone, didn’t want to wait, had a need to keep moving and Bubby might not be home. So, starting down the opposite direction Bubby’s house lay in, he pulled out his phone and called him.

It rang three times before Bubby answered. “Why are you calling me?” It was indeed the first time they’d talked over the phone instead of texted. Texting was too slow for this conversation though.

“How do you know you were made in a tube?”

“’Cause I remember the tube and they put me back in it to insert knowledge into my brain.”

“Okay so… that means ‘cause I don’t remember any tube, I’m an alien, right?” If he was made the in the lab, it would be the same way Bubby was, right? Except maybe not because their purposes as experiments had clearly been different and thus they weren’t made by the same department and thus their exact means of creation would be different too.

“Uh… what? Why would not remembering a tube make you an alien? Are you an alien? I kinda just assumed… well actually, I didn’t assume anything ‘cause I never really thought about it.”

As expected Gordon was the only one who cared enough to even so much as pose the question. Which was definitely preferable because it didn’t matter. No one else caring enough to even wonder was a good thing. “I don’t know and I don’t care but Gordon does for some reason. And uh… he thinks it’s sad that I don’t know if I was made the lab or if they like… stole me as an egg or whatever. Silly, right?”

“Ooh, no that uh, that’s pretty sad.” Damn, Bubby too. “They seriously never told you or talked about it around you? You never broke in and looked through your records or anything?”

“No, no and uh… never thought ‘bout it.” And after deleting the video of his purring, they’d set up the lab to make it harder for him to break in to delete stuff again. So if he’d even thought to, he couldn’t have. Which he hadn’t because it didn’t matter, he didn’t care.

“Damn, sucks to be you.”

It didn’t. His life wasn’t bad. It was mostly boring, if anything. It was nice to be out of Black Mesa for good but that was just because it was more interesting out here. … He kicked a nearby pebble into the road and watched it skitter across, coming to a stop near the other side. “Gordon asked me what my true form is.”

“Do you have one?”

“I don’t know.” It was the not knowing that made the question a problem and maybe even a little distressing. If he could confidently say ‘no’ it wouldn’t matter but… if he did have one and it was alien, there would be other people like himself out there. Not that that mattered. Being the same species as someone else wouldn’t mean he’d want to spend any time with them if he even could, which he couldn’t. But still… “What if I do have a true form? How do I uh… find it or whatever?”

“No clue. You’re the shape shifter.”

Benrey resumed walking, going a little faster though paying just as little attention to where he was going. “That’s not helpful.”

“Well, I don’t know why you’re coming to me with this. I can’t help you with an existential crisis or whatever this is.”

“It’s not a crisis. Just… you were for sure made in the lab and I was maybe made in the lab so who else could I call?”

“Tommy.”

“Nah, he’d uh… just offer me a soda or to play Beyblades with him.” It was his solution to most emotional problems and it did help sometimes but it wouldn’t here. Or maybe it would but solely as a distraction. So maybe he should’ve gone to Tommy to get the question out of his head by just pushing it away because it didn’t matter.

“Fair. And Harold wouldn’t be particularly helpful with this kind of thing either. Meaning I’m your best bet if you can’t talk to Gordon about it. Damn. Maybe just… shape shift a bunch until you feel right or something.”

“It takes a long time to change more than a little bit though.” It had always taken awhile to do big changes even when in the middle of the parts of the facility he had the most power in. Xen itself was the only exception, there it had been pretty fast, allowing for more messing around. None of those shapes had felt ‘right’ though. What would ‘right’ even feel like? “And… I don’t know where to start.” He’d experimented with various inhuman shapes when younger, but had settled on some variance on how he looked now because it was easier. It let him put on a security guard uniform and thus be recognized as worth heeding. And all the game things and other devices he liked were designed for humans – except the N64 controllers for some reason, three hands was the best way to use those and most humans only had two. Making human-shaped his default form now but… did that make it his ‘true form’?

“Take like a weekend and just shape shift a bunch then. I found where Aperture is located… I think. It’s a few days’ drive but I’m thinking of starting down there tomorrow. You said you were thinking about coming with me for that so you could come along and just… fuck around in the back seat until you find yourself.”

“Not a bad idea, I guess, but… I can’t. Gordo says they won’t wanna hire me ‘cause they’ll want to study me if they find out I’m whatever the fuck I am and uh… being studied’s boring.” Also he couldn’t leave Gordon alone for that long without risking him dying of a sleep deprivation related accident.

“Ooh, I suppose that’s a fair worry. They can’t do anything to me though. I’d like to see them try.”

“I’ll keep an eye on your place… house sit or whatever it’s called, feed your plants, make sure no one breaks in and stuff.”

“Eh… I don’t trust you to not booby-trap the place. I’ll have Harold check on it occasionally instead.”

Damn, Benrey had indeed been planing to booby-trap the place. He still could but Coomer would likely find them instead. Which would still be funny so probably still worth it. “Fine.”

“Well, any other personal problems you want to share that I’m bound to fail to help with because I barely know how to handle my own emotions, let alone yours, or can I hang up now?”

“Uh… I think I’m good now… or better. Guess I just wanted to talk about it… maybe? Thanks for listening or whatever.” It had brought him no closer to knowing if he had a true form or what it might be if he did have one but somehow he felt a little less immediately like he wanted to scream about it.

“Eh, good luck figuring your shit out.” With that, Bubby hung up.

Benrey hung up on his end too and lowered the phone, putting it back in his pocket as he looked around. He’d walked pretty far and was nearing the edge of town. … Going the rest of the way there before turning back would be a good enough walk. He’d go slower on the way back too, enjoy the sun a bit and work out the last of Gordon somehow making him care about things that didn’t matter. … Maybe he would be doing a bit of shape shifting in the future though, see if he couldn’t find a ‘true form’. Out of curiosity and because Gordon cared, not because he cared because it didn’t matter.

~

Next Chapter

#hlvrai #frenrey #benrey #hlvrai gordon

[anonymouspuzzler]

Yay Yipee I Finally Remembered I Should Update Folks On Things That Are Happening

because hey whoops as some of you might remember Supposedly I Stream Sometimes! That Uhhhh Hasn't Happened In A While Has It! so I should probably let folks know what's goin' on!! the long and the short of it is

Around late November/early December I started having issues where Discord would crash and restart anytime I tried to screenshare my capture software with my friends who I stream with. This put console game streams (so 2/3 of the games we were streaming) on the backburner till I could troubleshoot and solve that issue

On top of that it was Fucking Finals Season for me at my Graduate School so at a certain point I had to be responsible and focus on getting my final projects & essays done, which meant sacrificing stream time till my break (where I would hopefully have time to troubleshoot and then do a ton of streaming to make up for lost time)

Except THEN literally the second I went home for the holidays my hard drive abruptly and completely died. It is very possible that this contributed to the aforementioned tech issues

I was able to replace the drive and get my computer working again but because I have a Fucking Curse a lot of tech-side things were lost or started experiencing issues due to the new drive, namely A) I haven't been able to get my capture software working yet and B) whoops my entire OBS layout is just gone now I guess

This whole saga, on top of juggling other life shit and work and the like, effectively ate up my entire winter break

so tl;dr! I have a computer curse and because of it streams are gonna have to wait till I can get both OBS and my capture software working again. I'm hoping to work on that this weekend so I can be back to streaming next week, but given my school & job workload I'm guessing it'll more likely be two or three weeks. On top of that, I won't be streaming most of March due to reason of "my partner is visiting then". all of this sucks cause I want to be streaming, both for reason of "i like spending time with my good friends doing this" and "haha whoops I'm not earning money now and oh boy there sure are a lot of expenses flying at my head like rocks huh".

I've already rambled a bit more than I'd like to now so here's da main points:

Streams will (HOPEFULLY) be back in February. When they are, they'll be Monday & Tuesday nights, 5:30pst/8:30est, for as long as my friends remain available at those times (we're all adults having to look for or maintain Day Jobs so availability could change. y'all know how it is). I may also do occasional one-off streams on weekends as my energy 'n schedule permits, most likely art streams

I'll continue to be around on Holly's streams Fri/Sat/Sun as her schedule permits, because I don't have to rebuild OBS from the ground up for that

There is a 99.99% chance I'll be totally absent stream-wise during March

Even though streams are facing The Troubles I am still taking art commissions! Those haven't been affected!! You can submit an interest form here and I'll reach out to confirm prices as soon as I'm ready to start work on yours

If, out of the kindness of your heart, you would like to toss some support my way during The Troubles (which would be much appreciated; as said I've got a lot of expenses coming my way and unfortunately my day job covers my rent and nothing more), here are some other ways you can do so: -- Tip me on Ko-Fi; if you pay $9 or more you can request a doodle that I'll do for you and post on here & twitter (and might stream the process of drawing once that's up and running again). Here's an example of some Ko-Fi doodles I did previously -- You can also tip through my stream page if you want but I probably won't see those till I start streaming again. Still appreciated!!! -- I have a Throne Wishlist that's mostly stuff like kitchenware, household goods, stuff for my kitty, etc. There's also a few Fun Things though, like vinyls and a billy big bass Jay insisted I add. Either way, if you wanna contribute to something on there it means a lot. You can also suggest items to make me laugh

an' above all: thank you for reading and for bein' around!!

#long post / #anonymous puzzler talks #sorry for the big ramble!! i just figured it was worth putting everything out there #you mighta heard bits and pieces of this on friends' streams slash twitter slash wherever #but i figured it was worth puttin' in one place #anyway if you read this far: i hope you're having a good day and if you're not i hope a good day comes your way!!!!! #edit: i forgot the link to the doodles!! silly me!!! that is in there now

[charmsandtealeaves]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags @theresthesnitch & @annabtg. I'm finally sitting at my laptop so I can do this (and have given up with the formatting being all over the shop).

How many works do you have on AO3? 72 total, but 31 are currently hidden away in a private collection and can't be seen.

2. What's your total A03 words count?

According to the stats page 308,146 3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just HP 4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? A.) Brown Boots & Breakfast Bagels Rated M, jily AU. Complete Multichapter. Lily’s love life was a tragedy of epic proportions and she had no brilliant strategy. But a chance encounter ends in a one night stand that blows her mind and leaves her wanting more. There’s just one problem… she doesn’t even know his name.

B.) One More Sleep (currently hidden) Rated G, Sirius raising harry oneshot. Three year old Harry Potter is very eager to stay awake and catch Santa Claus delivering him presents.

C.) Call Me By Name Rated E, Jily AU. WIP Multichapter. After a not-so-great breakup with a not-so-great boyfriend, Lily comes to the conclusion that if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. Whether mechanically, hydraulically, or auditorily? She WILL find the key to that currently unreachable pleasure.

D.) Evans Guide To Quidditch (and seducing James Potter) Rated M, Hogwarts Jily, oneshot. It had all started out innocently enough, a small wager between housemates on the outcome of the Arrows Vs Catapults game over the weekend. Lily hadn't intended to let slip she knew more about quidditch than she was letting on. Or to set up a fantasy quidditch league with James, but well... what's the harm?

E.) Stripped Back To Basics Rated M, Jily AU, oneshot collab with @athenasparrow In which Petunia probably regrets telling Lily to "put herself out there." Or: A Jily "Naked Attraction" AU (YES NAKED ATTRACTION IS A REAL SHOW!!!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I used to respond to some comments, but these days I try to respond to everyone who comments even if it's just an emoji as a like "hi yes thank you for your comment I see you I just don't know what to say!"

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angtiest ending? I don't know if I've ever written an angst ending... nothing springs to mind anyway. 7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I think most of my fics end up with happy endings or at the very least open hopeful endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I wouldn't call it hate... but I did once get a couple of people debating in my comment section that Lily couldn't be friends with Sirius before dating James because it would be "taking away from jily's relationship"

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind? I don't really understand the second half of the question, but yes I do write smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't know if stolen is the right term, but there was a period years ago where some on my one-shots kept being posted on Instagram. Sometimes with credit, others not. 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I'm aware of.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? Yes! and I would love to do it again. I did Stripped Back to Basics with @athenasparrow and june jilychallenge Ice Breaker with @jamesunderwater

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? This will surprise no one, jily. 15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Previously I would have said the fic I started over a decade ago... but I am actively trying to finish it and it is one of my publishing WIPs (we're gonna ignore the fact it's in desperate need of an update). It is currently publishing under a new name tho: Wake Me Up (When September Ends)

16. What are your writing strengths? I manage to sprinkle a little humour into most of my fics.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Sticking to an update schedule... even though I always start with the best of intentions.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I don't think I've ever done it but I can barely English to be fair. I don't mind it in other peoples fics.

19. First fandom you wrote for? HP

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? I answered this as Stripped Back To Basics yesterday... I'm struggling to like my writing at the moment. But I enjoyed this first ever collaborative project and now Athena is a much beloved friend. tagging (and apologising if you've already been tagged): @merlins-sequined-hotpants, @uncertainwallflower, @practicecourts, @abihastastybeans

#charms was tagged

[ambrossart]

DWM Writing Update + Preview #2

I'm heading out of town for Columbus Day weekend.

I was hoping to have the next DWM fic done before I left (which is now going to be more like 7-8,000 words 😂), but I'm still editing the last few scenes, so I'll finish it when I get back on Tuesday.

While I'm away, here's another little preview!

--------------

Four blocks away, Scott Sloman was dressed in his Sunday best and restlessly pacing his basement, which was now pristine thanks to his diligent efforts the day before. 

On that morning, Scottie had woken up early, consumed a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage, and French toast (all prepared by his lovely mother, of course; Mrs. Sloman was an excellent cook), pulled on his rubber gloves, went downstairs, and got to work. It took him hours, but it was worth it. Every crumb, every cobweb, every splatter, every stain had been expertly tracked down and eliminated with the toughest chemicals money could buy. Now every surface sparkled radiantly, and the air carried a whimsical, woodsy scent that transported you to the crisp forests of New England—not that Scottie had ever been to New England, but he imagined that’s what its forests smelled like. 

He grabbed the can of EVERGREEN Air Freshener and gave it a vigorous shake.

“Do not spray that again,” Jeff told him. “You’re gonna give us all cancer.” 

“I’ll stop spraying when you guys stop smelling.” 

He pressed down hard on the nozzle and sprayed a thick cloud of EVERGREEN mist into the air. It showered over the table like a light drizzle of rain, getting on everyone’s hair, everyone’s clothes, and speckling the open page of Eddie Munson’s notebook. 

Eddie, who had been tuning everyone out and listening to music on his Walkman, now looked up with bewildered annoyance. “Dude, come on…” He fanned the remaining mist away with his hand and immediately went back to his notes. 

Observing him, Grant said to Jeff, “Damn, Eddie’s really in the zone today.”

It wasn’t exactly unusual for him to be this withdrawn. Eddie Munson took his D&D very seriously—perhaps a bit too seriously, although no one would ever dare tell him that. Before every session, while everyone else joked around and snacked on donuts and muffins (also prepared by Mrs. Sloman), Eddie sat quietly in his chair, the same chair he occupied for every session, and gradually slipped further… and further away. The Walkman, a gift from his uncle for his fourteenth birthday, only accelerated his emotional departure.

But he would return eventually. He always did. 

“You think he’s anxious about her coming?” Grant asked.

Jeff frowned guiltily. “Probably.” 

Beside Grant, Gareth was sharpening his pencil with a small metal pocket sharpener. From the look on his face, you would have thought he was honing a warblade. 

“He’s preparing his mind for battle,” Gareth said, his blue eyes burning with a ferocious and frightening intensity. “The enemy draws near. She will soon be at our gates.” He withdrew his pencil and blew fiercely on the pointed tip. “We must be ready to meet her.”

Jeff and Grant rolled their eyes. It was way too early in the morning for this. 

“She’s not the enemy,” Jeff said.

“Well, you’re a traitor,” Gareth replied. “Yeah, Eddie told me you’re the one who invited her, you Judas.”

“What? Oh c’mon, man, don’t start that now.” 

“How’d she do it?” Gareth asked. “Did she blackmail you? Bribe you? I didn’t realize your loyalty could be so easily bought, Jeff.”

“Dude, what are you talking about?” 

Grant, ever the rational one, said, “Ignore him. Gareth’s just mad she beat him in the spelling bee last year.”

And that’s when Gareth fired back with unseemly anger: “She did not beat me in the spelling bee! That whole competition was rigged right from the start. Every round, she got the easiest words while I got stuck with all the hard ones. It was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. I’m telling you, the whole thing was a sham!”

Jeff and Grant exchanged an amused glance. “My mistake,” Grant said while Jeff snickered. “Clearly you’ve moved on from this.” 

Gareth waved him off. “Oh shut up, Grant. Look, this is about way more than a spelling bee, okay? That girl is a heartless, horrible devil-woman. I will not break bread with her. I will not fight alongside her on the battlefield. I won’t, I won’t, and neither will Eddie.” Gareth clapped Eddie on the shoulder and said, “Right, Eddie?”

The older boy flinched, looked up, and pulled the left speaker box away from his ear. “What?”

“We’re standing together, right? Against our common enemy?”

Eddie’s eyebrows knitted together. “I dunno what you’re talking about.” 

And now Scott Sloman had heard enough. “Are you guys even listening to me? Come on, this is a huge moment for us… for me, especially. I need you all to be on your best behavior today. No burping. No farting. Sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table, gentlemen. Today, we have a young lady gracing our party.” 

Gareth sneered. “She’s no lady. She’s a hellbeast.”  

Scottie slammed his fist on the table. “See, this is the kinda shit I’m talking about! You psychos are gonna scare her off before she even—” He saw that Eddie had already put his headphones back on, an act of subtle but profound defiance. Scottie’s jaw dropped. “Eddie… Eddie… Hey, Eddie, I’m talking here.” 

“Leave him alone,” Jeff said. “He’s getting into character.” 

Scottie scoffed at that. “Oh please… Eddie uses the same character for every campaign. If he doesn’t know his character by now, he never will.” 

He snatched the Walkman off the table and yanked it away, viciously ripping the headphone jack from the plug. 

Eddie’s head jerked up in startled surprise. “Dude, what the fuck—” 

“I’m doing this for your own good, Eddie. It’s about time you learn how to socialize with the fairer sex.”

Eddie glared at him, exasperated. “I know how to talk to girls.” 

“Really?” Scottie shot him a dubious look. “Okay, Eddie… how many words have you said to that cheerleader you think’s so cute?” 

“Zero,” Grant answered for him. “He’s said zero words to her.”  

Eddie just sighed miserably. “Can I have my Walkman back, please?”  

“No, Eddie, you can’t,” and Scottie set the cassette player on the shelf behind him. “See, this is exactly my point, you guys. We have a huge opportunity here. A girl is coming to play D&D with us. And not just any girl. One of the popular girls! Do you guys understand what this means? If we play our cards right, maybe she’ll start bringing her friends. Her popular friends. Her pretty friends.” 

“Is that what you think’s gonna happen?” Jeff asked. “You think a bunch of cheerleaders are gonna wanna play D&D with you?” 

Scottie shrugged and said in a waning voice, “Well, you never know…”  

Eddie put his head in his hands. “I knew this was gonna happen. I knew this was gonna happen. She’s not even here yet and she’s already ruining the game.” 

“Hey, where is she, anyway?” Grant said. “It’s already after ten. Are we sure she’s even gonna show?” 

“She probably won’t,” said Gareth. He leaned back in his chair, satisfied and smug. “Yeah, I bet she chickened out like the coward she is. Screw her, I say we start without her.”  

“We’re not starting without her,” Jeff said. “Look, she’ll be here, okay?”

“Spoken like a true traitor.” 

“Dude, stop calling me a—” 

Suddenly, the doorbell chimed. The sound echoed over their heads like a distant warhorn on a cold, fog-covered battlefield. Gareth reached for his newly sharpened pencil and held it like a knife. 

“She’s here.”

#writing update #preview #dancing with myself #dwm #dwm short #ambrossart

[a-wolf-at-the-door]

I've been thinking about the No-Thing. Obviously, in the process of unbecoming a No-Thing, it stopped being. Despite no longer being, it does still exist, otherwise it wouldn't be able to know that it is a No-Thing.

In that case, if one would be able to step into the Void and survive, how would they perceive the No-Thing? Would it be a visible No-Thing? Would it be a feeling? A sound? In what perceivable way does the No-Thing exist? Not necessarily for the human perception systems. We are quite limited in those.

OR is the No-Thing's perception of itself so skewed with suffering and change that it no longer perceives itself as a thing that IS? Could it be that the No-Thing still is, but can't conceive the notion of its being?

I miss Rose :( she was in far less pain than the No-Thing.

Hope your week is going well, and that your weekend gets you very well-rested.

First off thanks for your well wishes and I hope your week is going well too!

I’m so glad you’re thinking about this, I have spent many hours wondering about exactly this question. I have four answers for your one question. They take the form of bad news, good news, a twist, and a promise. The twist is an essay tbh, get ready for a long read!

The bad news: I don’t have a satisfying answer to what the No-Thing is and how the No-Thing would hypothetically be perceived. This is partly because it’s a counterfactual hypothetical: the No-Thing isn’t. Is. There isn’t anyone else doing the perceiving, and if anyone else were to enter the Void they’d be either killed or No-Thing-ified too, excepting those with a Void ship, but my understanding was that part of the way the Void ship worked was by preventing external perception anyway… The other reasons I don’t have a satisfying answer: answering might involve a little bit of spoiler-ing that I don’t want to do, and also, though I pretend otherwise, I can’t entirely wrap my head around the concept of unbeing either! I’m trying to convey not only that which cannot be conveyed but also that which cannot be comprehended, and to get across the truly incomprehensible I can’t cheat and comprehend it!

The good news: You get to decide how to imagine it! Each reader probably has a different understanding of what it must be like for the No-Thing in the Void. Our imagination of unbeing is informed by our individual experiences of being, of embodiment, of identity. I know I move through the world of being very differently than many in my circles, partly due to big Identity Labels™ (cis woman, queer, short, thin, young, white, Latina, neurodivergent, etc. and oops! Now you know a lot more about me!) and partly due to non-Identity Label™ experiences, traumatic and restorative and neutral alike.

The twist: I lied a little, or told a half-truth. Definitely true thing: I believe that stories are always collaborations between writer and reader. Writers provide the scaffolding and readers fill it in and make it particular. We can try all we like to evoke a certain experience, but everyone brings their own background and experiences and lens to the story, so no two people ever really read the same story. And so with that, I think it’s the author’s responsibility to let go. The words on the page are published and the rest of the work is up to the reader to determine and decipher however they may.

But.

I am feeling a little irresponsible.

So I’m gonna tell you more about what inspired the way I write the Void. This isn’t technically a direct answer, nor is it meant to be the sole interpretation of the Void. If you don’t like it, you can always ignore it! Anything I say about these fics is pretty much “fan interpretation” unless it’s in the body of the fic. Here, I’m not really the all-knowing author, I’m just someone who gets to read ahead before everyone else. (because I wrote it lol)

So. How and why do I write the Void (and the No-Thing) the way I do?

The easy answer would be to point to some literary influences. I drew on some elements from DW canon. I love The Magnus Archives podcast and The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater (who is just generally a huge influence on my writing style, I adore her and her work). I consume a lot of speculative fiction and poetry and interesting science writing.

But the real deep-rooted influence of my imagining of the Void is rooted in my mental health challenges. I want to first couch this by saying I’m in a really good place right now and have been for a while. I’ve done a LOT of therapy and I’m on the right medications and I’m making a ton of progress taking care of myself, but I have at points in my life suffered from intense depression, anxiety, and complex trauma. I also have ADHD (but I don’t like saying I “suffer from” that one because it’s so intrinsic to who I am). I’m about to talk about these mental health things in a bit more depth so if you’re not comfy reading about them skip ahead to the promise!

Ok.

I have always struggled with embodiment. Not so much with my specific body—I have a lot of privilege as a thin cis woman and I want to acknowledge that—but with the idea of being in a body to begin with. I blame some of that on the Catholic Church teaching me that the body and all its earthly desires are bad things, and some of it on growing up surrounded by people with a lot of internalized fatphobia, and some of it on growing up intellectually gifted in a society that has a bedrock belief in Cartesian dualism (mind and body are separate, mind is superior to body, mind is pure and godly and must be cultivated, body is impure and animalistic and must be controlled/repressed). My thoughts have always been so fast (thanks ADHD) that I often felt like my body was a limitation.

I have long been very antagonistic towards embodiment and am only recently (past few years) beginning to truly unpack and heal from that. For a very long time the narrative in my head was like this: I am a mind and my mind is clever and creative and quick and capable of so much. My body is an inconvenience. Taking care of it takes time away from the extraordinary things my mind can do. Why does my body betray me by needing sleep, needing food and water, needing bathroom breaks and tooth-brushing and medicine and moisturizer? Why can’t I write as fast as I think? Why can’t I just be a cloud of disembodied thought?

A lot of egotism, a lot of shame. The two often go hand in hand.

These thoughts go back as far as I can remember. I learned to type really fast because I have memories of being a toddler watching my mom typing away and being jealous because handwriting was too slow for me to get my stories out.

I was also a pretty morbid kid. Like seriously, I would read the obituaries in the newspaper and search specifically for young deaths. I don’t know where this came from—I have been very lucky and have still not lost many people close to me, and at that time I hadn’t really lost anyone close to me at all. But I thought a lot about death.

I wasn’t a very good Catholic. I scored highly in religion class because I scored highly in almost every class, and I could believe that Jesus had really existed and done all that stuff the Bible said, but my faith broke down when I thought about death. Hell was terrifying. Purgatory was still beyond my comprehension. My real issue was with Heaven. It sounded interminably boring.

Before anything else, I am and have always been a writer. And as a writer I know that plot relies on conflict. So a reality where everything is perfect all the time and everyone is happy and nothing bad ever happens? Couldn’t get behind it.

As I started losing my faith, my thoughts turned more towards oblivion. (Cue early-2010s TFiOS-era poetic depression). The idea of winking out into nothing terrified me, consumed my thoughts, kept me up at night. What would death be like? Nothing. And what would Nothing be like?

So you see, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about unbeing. And I’ve spent an awful lot of time ignoring the realities of my being, dissociating from my body because I felt limited by it, ashamed of it, detached from it, betrayed by it. (In reality, I was the one doing the betraying.)

Writing Rose/the No-Thing in the Void has been an exercise in paying attention to my being. Trying to capture absence means I have to better understand presence. And it’s made me a hell of a lot more aware of reality.

Because depression lies to you and tells you that you are nothing, that you know nothing, that you feel nothing. Anxiety lies to you and tells you that you are everything everywhere all at once, that you know and can predict every possible outcome, that you are hyperaware of all that’s happening. The No-Thing is both of these and more and less. Like depression, the Void robs Rose of identity, memory, connection, but also like depression, it does so imperfectly. She is not unsalvageable because no one is ever unsalvageable. Like anxiety, the Void gives her a hyperawareness and detachment, a series of images she can’t quite connect and comprehend, an inner monologue she cannot silence. But also like anxiety, it doesn’t actually bring anything into clear focus or control.

Rose’s journey back towards embodiment is coming, and I’m really excited to write it. Partly for her, and a lot for me. It’s going to mirror some of the lessons I’ve learned as I get more comfortable with the fact that being human means being embodied, that I am on the same team as my body, that it sends messages to me and I choose to listen or ignore them, that it never betrays me but that I can choose whether or not to betray it. Her return will also show more of Bad Wolf as a disability. (Disclaimer: I don’t generally disclose the specifics but I have a few conditions that can be classed as disabilities, though they are the sort that can be managed thanks to modern medicine, my parents’ health insurance [thanks Obama!], and a lot of luck and privilege, so with the exception of rogue flare-ups, they don’t usually have disabling effects on my day-to-day life.)

The promise: Rose will return. Can I promise she’ll be in less pain? No. But can I promise she’ll come back and grapple with her new challenges and do it all with characteristic aplomb? Yes.

Ok that’s all! Hope you enjoyed the essay that didn’t really answer your question lol, now go forth and imagine!

#ask lia #spoilers for my fic lol #tw mental health #tw mental illness #tw anxiety #tw depression #tw body issues #oops I wrote an essay #tw religious trauma

[apersonwholikeslotus]

For that character ask, Poland #0

sorry this took so long! I've had a busy weekend 😅

#0 All numbers in the list!

1, what would their social media page/activity be like

A mix of Straight girl and history obsessed white cishet guy.

He has "You have to try this Starbucks secret menu item!!!!" and *inaccurate history meme taken from reddit* right next to each other.

also Christian memes and horse girl memes.

2, What animal they remind me of

a cat actually; like, how dare you ignore him but also how DARE you bother him when he doesn't want to be bothered.

3, my thoughts on their design/aesthetic alone

canon Poland looks like his name is Stephanie and he's a wine mom who says "I'm doing this for my crowns in heaven!" whenever doing a favor for someone.

Fanon Poland Is amazing I love him, we all really went "This man is actually a walking thrift store but in a good way" and it works amazingly on him.

4, physical headcanons

he sleeps with like 7-12 pillows. It drove Liet insane when they were married.

when he's home alone he THROWS every door open looks around suspiciously then makes a mad dash to whatever other room he needs to go to. my guy DOES NOT linger in hallways.

hates knitted stuff on his skin. Can't wear sweaters without a long sleeve shirt under them, loves the knitted crop top look, can't commit to wearing them for more than 5 min.

everyone thinks he's a 17 step morning routine person; his darkest secret is he owns 1 watered down face wash and uses 3 in 1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash.

5, Social Headcanons

The Friend Group(TM) consists of Lithuania, Latvia, Prussia, Estonia, Hungary, Finland, Czechia, Slovakia, and Belarus.

"If we're gonna go out we should get the whole group together!!"

individually;

Lithuania: The Ex Husband, the boyfriend, the mom friend he's literally a 3 in 1, it's great. LietPol is one of my "Soulmates in more than 1 flavor," examples, they're stuck together. Whether it's romantic, platonic, or somethign you need a whole fic to explain.

Latvia: The little brother that tags along so much you accidentally become friends with him too. Feliks loves Raivis, they're buddies. They 100% sincerely pray for each other, like "Hey this is happening, could you pray for me?" "Of course <3"

Prussia: The former enemy. They're friends now but Feliks is still super snarky to him. "I'll pray for you <3" but condescending and unsolicited. They fuck sometimes ngl.

Estonia: Feliks takes one look at Kalev and just!!! Look at this little nerd!!! He needs friends!! I'll take pity on him and be his friend!!! Feliks is just as nerdy and knows it, but like,,, still calls Kalev a nerd, lovingly ofc.

Hungary: THE RIDE OR DIE. The shared experience of being genderqueer and horse girls. Feliks would die for Erzí, Erzsébet would die for Feliks. They complain and brag about their bf's and Erzí talks about his kids while Feliks (depending on the day) cements himself further into "I'm never having kids" or "I want a baby so badly :(((((("

Finland: Feliks straight up does not remember becoming friends with Kasper. He just knows one day Kasper tagged along with Kalev and Erzí and then they became friends? Tbh more than anything is just "Erzí and Kalev's little brother"

Czechia: his relationship with Adéla can be summed up in "I wouldn't take a bullet for you bc If I have time to jump in front of it you have time to move" but like, he would actually take a bullet for her. Tbh they really only hang out at like 3 am when drunk.

Slovakia: i... don't actually have hc on them yet.

Belarus: Feliks is actually 2 seconds away from adopting Natalya. He's gonna be her new dad and he's going to raise her right. Feliks relationship with Natalya is really complicated, but he does really feel bad for her and has moments of "I could save her from everything probably"

Psychologic headcanons

Has to be surrounded by people at all times. He has 'safety in numbers' drilled into his subconscious.

has APD, It made learning to read really hard, and like you can't talk to him in a noisy room bc your voice and that fork clinking on the plate over there are the same sound sorry :\

has nightmares so often he started taking nyquill every night so he sleeps through them bc no I don't have time for this.

7, ships with them that I like or at least consider

LietPol, legit did not think about this two until I started following 2 specific people I will let you all guess who they are.

PruPol, i have to be a specific angsty/slap-hCppy mood to enjoy it tho.

8, Made up connections with other characters that weren't in canon

I think I accidentally answered this one with #5

9, Headcanons about their past

Feliks is one of the few nations to have both human parents (Japan is one of the others I have rn) he was only a few months old physically when his father died, and 2-ish when his mother died.

They didn't throw him out. After their parents died, his younger brother (a human) took him. Generation after generation they took care of this little mystical being.

Most nations born to humans are thrown out as curses. Feliks' family called him a blessing, some family members even claimed he was their guardian angel.

Generation after generation they took care of him, they loved him so much.

A tragedy struck, they all died. He buried them all himself. He laid next to the graves and cried for days, he begged God to kill him.

He was only physically eleven years old.

He didn't know what he was, but he had bought into the guardian angel thing. He thought he had failed. Eventually he got up and moved on, he left just wandering...

Then he met Liet... found out he wasn't alone.

10, Content about them I'd like to see more of

tbh more platonic PolHun, I love them <3

#ooooo this is long #aph poland #hws poland #tw: death mention #tw: religion #hetalia #apersonwithsomeanswers

[krsive-writes]

Pleasure to Meet You

Title: Pleasure to Meet You

Author: krsive

Rating: M-

Tags/Warnings: mention of past sexual assault, soulmates

It was supposed to be just another day at work for Rick DX-318. A busy day, sure—after all, it was the Thursday before Valentine's Day—but Dex had been working at Mate Mart for years now and he knew the ropes. Just get through this weekend, and on the other side he and the other machine operators would go on their annual pub crawl and blow off this steam. Just get through. Just ignore the clammer of voices in the crowded room that itched at the back of his poor autistic brain. Just do one job at a time.

The unimpressive Morty seated across from him looked nervous. Dex was too tired to smile and put him at ease. His new work polo was rough against his skin all day, and it had him in a mood.

"Put your hand in the machine," he instructed. He picked up his clipboard and clicked his pen, holding it at the ready.

''Just... in? Like...?"

"Just put it in there, flat on the table." Two clicks. "Ok, Morty...” Here he checked the paperwork.    “G-116, what brings you in today?”

Morty's brow knit in confusion. "Same thing as everyone else? I-I wanna find my Soul mate."

"Yeah...you're gonna have to dig a little deeper if you want the process to work. The machine can't analyze your emotional resonance unless you're actually feeling something. I already know why you're here, but why are you here?"

''O-Oh. Well, um..." Morty squirmed in his seat. The machine began to hum. "I’m. I'm lonely. Like, r-really lonely."

"You're single?"

''Yes."

"Do you have a Rick?"

"K-kind of?"

"There's no 'kind of' box on my sheet, kid. Yes or no."

"Yes, then? I-I... I ran away from him but I think he's p-probably still on the Citadel."

Dex scrawled a note. "Why did you run away?"

"He..." Morty looked sick to his stomach. ''Do I really have to say? C-Can I just think about it and the machine will know?"

"Sorry, kid. This is the process." It wasn't like Dex was thrilled to hear the boy's trauma dump, either, but it was a living. Just barely.

''H-He tried to...y'know...” Morty's eyes were welling with tears.

"Look." Dex put down the clipboard and leaned forward. Morty mirrored his posture naturally. “You're not the only one here with a past. I did 25 years in Earth prison. I'm extremely personally acquainted with the concept of rape, if you catch my drift. It's ok. You can say it."

Morty broke down all at once. The machine chimed cheerfully.

"My grandpa tried to rape me," he managed to say. "I keep thinking he’ll show up to find me any time now. I'm scared all the t-t-time."

Dex made another note. Staring at the clipboard was so much easier than looking at Morty. "Did you get yourself emancipated yet? We have a legal service on standby for customers who match outside of their original pairs."

"He'd have t-t-to sign, right? I can't..." Morty sniffled. ''I can't do that.”

"Alright. Whatever you say goes. But how about I give you the brochure anyway?"

“Yeah, ok. Sure."

Morty darted a look up at him, a shy, guileless glance. Rick quickly turned his attention to his own hands, to the blown out, faded old tattoos on his knuckles. He didn't like getting too chummy with the customers. He busied himself flipping to page 2.

"If you could pick, who would be your soulmate?” he read.

"Geez. I don't r-really even know. I used to think maybe the Jessica from my dimension, O-o-or...there was this really funny Morty at my old job. I liked him but I was too scared to ask him out."

"What do you like about them?”

"I guess they're both really cute. Like s-soft and pretty. And gentle. Like, they both wanted me to feel good about my self, I could tell. I want someone sweet like that to want to be with me, too." Morty was welling up again. "I just want someone like that to love me.”

The machine, pleased with the display, chugged through its calculations faster. It was almost finished.

"What do you like about yourself?" Dex prompted.

"Oh man..." Morty shrugged one shoulder, his lips turned down in a hard frown. "I d-dunno... nothing, I guess."

''Dig deep." Dex was rooting for the kid. What a pathetic case. The charitable man in him wanted this one to be a success story.

''I guess..." Morty took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm good to people even when I'm hurting. I-I still want to help people    so they can be happy. Even though people are mean to me a lot, it didn't make me be mean back. So I like that."

Ding! The machine pinged, startling Morty. A printout slid onto the tray.

"Congrats, kid. You actually have an other half out there! It's—“

Dex read the page. Rick Sanchez, DX-318. He blanched. Read it again. Rick Sanchez, DX-318. Again. Again. Nothing changed. He lost track of the world, dropped the paper.

"No way," he said, blankly.

"DX-318?”

"Who—“ Dex looked around at the row of tables where his coworkers were all busy.

"Isn't that you? A-Are you fucking with me?''

"Which one of you fucks did this?" Dex demanded, shooting out of his chair, voice booming.

"Is this for real?" Morty asked, but Dex barely heard him.

"You do this, C-487? You fucking—“ he stepped menacingly towards the worker at the next station over.

"Do what?" the other Rick asked, clearly confused.

The manager was on his way over, but Dex shouldered past. "I’m taking my 15," he said, and didn't stop to be told no.

"Wait!" called Morty somewhere behind him.

Rick pushed through the break room and out onto the walled back patio where a Rick lingered by the ashtray.

"Out! Get out!” Dex thundered.

“What—“

"OUT!"

The other Rick didn't stay to argue, but when he headed inside Morty passed him. Now the boy was between Dex and the door, and he was walled in on all sides, trapped like an animal. He was ready to chew his own leg off to escape, but he couldn’t bring himself to step towards his soulmate.

"Wh-What's happening Rick?" Morty asked, breathless and pinkened from exertion.

"I don't know!" Trapped, Dex paced back and forth, pulling at his hair. "Someone must have fucked with my machine, it must be some kind of prank, I—“

"What if it's not, though?"

Dex's brain was melting down. He thought about his shabby, half-hoarded studio apartment. He thought of the k-tax pipe in the bag in his locker, the days and nights spent in the numb embrace of drugs. He thought about the day that he killed his daughter, how crazed he still was when the cops came to take him, high off his ass and running amok. He couldn't do this. He couldn't have a soulmate. He couldn't care for a Morty. He didn't even want to care for himself .

"Trust me, kid, you're better off if it's a prank. You don't want me for your other half."

''What..." Morty stepped forward, making Rick shrink back. "What if, though?"

"’What if' is bullshit. ‘What if’ is wishful thinking."

"I bet you're lonely, too, though, right?"

"That's not the point. You don't want me, Morty. I'm just like your piece of shit grandpa, ok? I'm just... I'm not a good person."

"I deserve love," Morty said, jaw set, fists batted tightly. "I deserve love! I deserve for someone to try for me!”

''I—“

"So try! Just try, Rick!"

He pressed his lips together hard, breathing through his nose. Nothing made any sense now. In a world where he could feel love again, he didn't know his place. But Morty's pain was breaking his heart, and the boy wanted to crawl into the cracks of it with probing roots like a weed growing in concrete. Could someone really want him again? He was so afraid. He took a deep breath.

"Call me Dex," he said, offering his hand.

It was a start, at least.

#rickorty #rickortyweek2023 #soulmates