#going for campy 60s movie monster

[tapeworm-loser]

“Surprise, Seymour!”

#aaaah!! #I’ve been working on this for a minute and I’m so proud #so here it is #am I working on an au? mayhaps #going for campy 60s movie monster #trying to get a reference sheet done #or at least something where you can see the design better #that being said it’ll be a minute #i have a lot of thoughts #they are fairly unorganised at the moment #lots of little details I plan to explain later #feel free to ask questions #Overgrown Orin #orin scrivello #orin lsoh #lsoh #little shop #little shop of horrors #art #procreate #fanart #au art #for the love of god tumblr #click for better quality

[ciaossu-imagines]

What are some of your favorite horror movies? And which ones you like to recommend to people?

Holy shit! This question makes me so happy but also so…wow, how do I organize this! How can I narrow them down…there’s just so many horror movies I definitely love and would recommend. The different sub-genres within horror and what’s the best to watch from those was considered, but that leaves out some solid horror movies that don’t fit into any particular sub-genre. So I kind of went chronologically, throughout the years…I might be wrong in some of these years, so please forgive me for that. I’ll also definitely have left off a lot of really good ones, so excuse the incompleteness of the list.

So, as mentioned on my other post, gotta start back in the roaring 20’s, when horror really kind of hit the mainstream, with 1922’s Nosferatu. It’s going to seem really boring if you go in expecting a gore-fest like what we get now, but I think it’s a really stand up film for it’s time, with a great atmosphere and feel to it.

All of the classic Universal monster film’s from the 30’s should be checked out. They’re classics for a reason and the horror genre really owes a lot to these early films.

As far as I know, the original that came out then is impossible to find, but you can find versions of 1932’s Freaks and it’s definitely worth checking out. That movie kind of fucked me up, though a lot of the horror in it was the mass exploitation of people who dared to differ from the norm.

As far as I know, the 30’s version of Sweeney Todd was the first time it was on film? Definitely worth checking out, comparing and contrasting to the Johnny Depp version of it. Both are decent in their own ways (though, of course, the stage renditions are the best).

To me, Son of Frankenstein, while considered a horror at the time, was the first horror comedy. At least, I very much have that feel watching it.

While there were a lot of 40’s horror films, the only one I still remember and enjoy is the Abbott and Costello film I recommended in the previous post.

In my opinion, the 50’s had a lot of really great horror films. Watching them now, they do feel campy and kind of B-grade, but I really do think that is part of the appeal to them and it’s also fun to see some of the tropes in horror that are still used to this day. So from that era, I recommend Donovan’s Brain, I Was a Teenage Werewolf, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, anything with Vincent Price, and Teenagers from Outer Space.

1960 brought us Psycho. Any horror fan should check out Psycho – I consider it a classic and a must watch. I also think that might have been the year The Little Shop of Horrors first came out on film. The original wasn’t bad, though I recommend the later version with Rick Moranis. It had a really great feel to it and was a little more fun than the original.

From the rest of the 60’s…oh, you guys know this one was going to be on here. Rosemary’s Baby, natch. Night of the Living Dead is also one that was obviously going to show up on this list because again – should be considered must-watch for any horror movie lover. Romero and horror – goes hand in hand and especially in terms of zombie tropes…it set up a lot of those. For a surprise from the 60’s though, I do recommend Blood and Black Lace.

The 70’s were great for horror. I definitely recommend the 70’s Wicker Man. If you start to watch Wicker Man and you see Nicolas Cage….press back or do whatever you need to do to turn it off. Then go watch the Wicker Man without Nicolas Cage. You will thank me for that tidbit of advice. Tales from the Crypt, The Exorcist, Jaws, Alien, the OG Carrie, The Omen, the OG The Hills Have Eyes, the OG Suspiria, Dawn of the Dead, I Spit on Your Grave, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Black Christmas, and The Amityville Horror were all fantastic movies from that decade. Plus, the Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchises started in this decade and I really recommend those franchises as a whole. Did both of them have some terrible sequels/prequels/remakes? Oh boy, did they! But overall, the franchises are solid. Young Frankenstein is a solid horror comedy and while technically a miniseries, Salem’s Lot from that time is still something I rewatch at least every year or two.

The 80’s brought Freddy fucking Krueger and boy, do I recommend watching the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise. The Chucky franchise also started at that time and I love the really kind of campy, horror comedy feel to that franchise, with some genuinely scary scenes. The Evil Dead is a classic for a reason and definitely a must watch. Just watch every movie in the franchise because at the worst, they’re hilarious, at their best they’re so, so GOOD. Pretty sure Poltergeist is also from the 80’s but if I’m wrong, it’s late 70’s. I love The Lost Boys, at least the original one.  Motel Hell was weird as fuck but pretty decent horror comedy? My favourite horror comedy from the 80’s though has to be April Fool’s Day – definitely one I recommend everyone see at least once. Fright Night from the 80’s was also really good and I actually also enjoy the remake with Colin Farrell. The 80’s also brought a lot of Stephen King adaptions and where I love his writing, I watched a lot of them – Christine, Cujo, Silver Bullet,  Children of the Corn (the OG one is my favourite, though the remake wasn’t absolutely fucking horrific), Pet Sematary, Creepshow…notice The Shining is missing? It’s because I actually don’t really like the movie. I found the book more genuinely scary. One that does have to be mentioned but which I will personally NEVER watch again – Cannibal Holocaust. Don’t eat going into it and be aware that it gets very, VERY violent. If you consider Gremlins a horror movie, it’s on there. I just say it’s a classic Christmas movie you should definitely check out around the season. I watch it every Christmas season.

From the 90’s, starting with a miniseries but the version of IT that still scares me the most? The 90’s miniseries with Tim Curry. It will legit make me cry but that’s because clowns freak me out royally.  But legit, the 90’s and the 00’s was the era I really was just getting into horror, so I struggle to figure out what is me viewing it with a lot of nostalgia and love and what is actually good so I’m going bullet points for these decades:

Se7en – even non-horror fans know THAT scene from this movie, let’s be real, and I think that  makes it have to be on this list.

Village of the Damned

From Dusk Till Dawn

The first Scream came out this decade, as did a couple of the others, but please watch all the franchise except the newest ones. I watched them, not as great as the original run but 1-4…fucking amazing and probably my favourite horror franchise personally.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

The first Blade movie came out in this decade, but I recommend all three.

The Faculty

Urban Legend

House on Haunted Hill

The Sixth Sense really did have an amazing twist, though it looks cheap and played out rewatching or looking back on it. For the time period though – it was an amazing twist.

Sleepy Hollow

American Psycho

Final Destination. Any of the movies in the franchise kind of give me the happy but the first one is probably the best.

Jeeper’s Creepers

Misery

The Leprechan franchise is great horror comedy. I love Warwick Davis.

I recommend the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, only because it led to the show and the show was so, so precious to me.

The Silence of the Lambs, naturally.

Candyman, also naturally.

The Frighteners was a fun horror comedy. I just like seeing bad things happen to Michael J. Fox

Sometimes They Come Back

Cube

Cannibal! The Musical is frigging fantastic and a great black comedy

The Craft

Idle Hands is frigging amazing as well for horror comedy.

From the 2000’s:

Ginger Snaps

Thirteen Ghosts

Valentine

28 Days Later

Cabin Fever

Resident Evil as a franchise is hit or miss, but I like the original

The Ring

Wrong Turn

The Grudge

The Saw franchise

Hostel

House of 1000 Corpses and the follow up movies to it

Shaun of the Dead

House of Wax, just for being able to see Paris Hilton die

When a Stranger Calls

1408 (have an odd crush on John Cusack)

30 Days of Night

The Mist

Dead Silence

Repo! The Genetic Opera

Coraline

Zombieland

Cabin in the Woods is from around that time and still one of the best meta-horror comedies I’ve ever seen.

#admin chatter #horror movie recommendations #please also recommend me horror movies if you don't see them on the list #i will love you forever

[kevinsreviewcatalogue]

Review: Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Rated PG-13 for sci-fi violence, brief sexuality and language

<Originally posted at https://kevinsreviewcatalogue.blogspot.com/2024/03/review-eight-legged-freaks-2002.html>

Score: 3 out of 5

Eight Legged Freaks is a self-conscious throwback to '50s monster movies that does the job it sets out to do perhaps a little too well. It's the kind of movie you'd imagine American International Pictures themselves (the Blumhouse of the '50s and '60s) would've made back then if they had a big budget and modern CGI technology to spare, a film that gets right up in your face with all manner of icky arachnid goodness that it takes every opportunity it can to throw at the screen, and even though the effects may be dated now, it still works in the context of the lighthearted B-movie that this movie is trying to be. It's a movie where, as gross as it often is, going for an R rating probably would've hurt the campy tone it was going for. Its throwback to old monster movie tropes is a warts-and-all one, admittedly, especially where its paper-thin characters are concerned, such that it starts to wear out its welcome by the end and could've stood to be a bit shorter. That said, it's never not a fun movie, especially if you're not normally into horror, and it's the kind of film that I can easily throw on in the background to improve my mood.

Set in the struggling mining town of Perfection, Arizona, the film opens with an accident involving a truck carrying toxic waste accidentally dumping a barrel of the stuff into a pond that happens to be located right next to the home of a man named Joshua who runs an exotic spider farm. He starts feeding his spiders insects that he sourced from the pond, and before long the spiders start growing to enormous size, eating Joshua and eventually threatening the town, forcing its residents to start banding together for survival. I could go into more detail on the characters, but most of them fall into stock, one-note archetypes and exist mainly to supply the jokes and the yucks, elevated chiefly by the film's surprisingly solid cast. David Arquette's oddly disaffected performance as Chris, the drifter whose father owned the now-shuttered mines and returns to town in order to reopen them, manages to work with the tone the movie is going for, feeling like he doesn't wanna be in this town to begin with and wondering what the hell he got himself into by returning to the dump he grew up in. Kari Wuhrer makes for a compelling action hero as Sam, the hot sheriff who instructs her teenage daughter Ashley (played by a young Scarlett Johansson) how to deal with pervy boys and looks like a badass slaughtering giant spiders throughout the film. Doug E. Doug got some of the funniest moments in the movie as Harlan, a conspiracy radio host who believes that aliens are invading the town. Every one of the actors here knew that they were in a comedy first and a horror movie second, and so they played it broad and had fun with the roles. There are various subplots concerning things like the town's corrupt mayor and his financial schemes, the mayor's douchebag son Bret, and Sam's nerdy son Mike whose interest in spiders winds up saving the day, and they all go in exactly the directions you think, none of them really having much impact on the story but all of them doing their part to make me laugh.

The movie was perhaps a bit too long for its own good, especially in the third act. Normally, this is the part where a movie like this is supposed to "get good" as we have giant monsters running around terrorizing the town, and to the film's credit, the effects still hold up in their own weird way. You can easily tell what's CGI at a glance, but in a movie where the spiders are played as much for a laugh as anything else, especially with the chattering sound they constantly make that makes it sound like they're constantly giggling, it only added to the "live-action cartoon" feel of the movie. The problem is, there are only so many ways you can show people getting merked by giant spiders before they all start to blend together, and the third act is thoroughly devoted to throwing non-stop monster mayhem at the screen even after it started to run out of ideas on that front. There are admittedly a lot of cool spider scenes in this movie, from giant leaping spiders snatching young punks off of dirt bikes to people getting spun up in webs to a tarantula the size of a truck flipping a trailer to a hilarious, Looney Tunes-style fight between a spider and a cat, and the humans themselves also get some good licks in, but towards the end, the film seemed to settle into a routine of just spiders jumping onto people. It was here where the threadbare characters really started to hurt the film. If I had more investment in the people getting killed and fighting to survive, I might have cared more, but eventually, I was just watching a special effects showcase. The poster prominently advertises that this movie is from Dean Devlin, one of the producers and writers of Independence Day and the 1998 American Godzilla adaptation, and while he otherwise had no creative involvement, I did feel that influence in a way that the marketing team probably didn't intend.

The Bottom Line

Eight Legged Freaks is a great movie with which to introduce somebody young or squeamish to horror, especially monster movies. It's shallow and doesn't have much to offer beyond a good cast, a great sense of humor, and a whole lot of CGI spider mayhem without a lot of graphic violence. Overall, it's a fun throwback to old-school monster movies.

#eight legged freaks #2002 #2002 movies #horror #horror movies #horror comedy #comedy #comedy movies #monster movies #killer animal #giant spider #science fiction #sci fi movies #david arquette #kari wuhrer #scarlett johansson #doug e. doug

[50-awfull-bad-films]

So to cash in on Batman the tv show, director Jerry Warren made this very campy and silly Batwoman . No relation to DC comics or Batman . A very cheap production with Warren regular Katherine Victor in the title role as the bargain basement super hero and her swinging bikini clad super agents. Made in 1966 with a limited budget. The monsters that the loony scientist keeps talking about is footage from the mole people 1956. Surprised they didn’t get sued .Steve Brodie stars as one of the villains. As you recall Jerry Warren made some really bad movies and even bought movies from other countries and added some footage like invasion of the animal people. 1959 which was made in Sweden under the title terror in the midnight sun and the Mexican made werewolf movie with Lon Chaney Jr. face of the screaming werewolf in 1964 which is only 60 min long. Warren also made the very bad Frankenstein’s island 1981 which I covered previously. But as for batwoman ripping off TVs Batman and spy movies. How low can you go?

[schibi12]

How about Scooby Doo?

So this is one i want to give a chance in the future since ive never been a big fan of it ever since i was a child i always wanted the paranormal to be real but no the monster was a museum curator with projectors and smoke machines and when I was young I thought of it as really formulaic and repetitive which I know that's sort of the charm of it you know Velma losing her glasses, the catchphrases, giving Scooby snacks to Scooby and Shaggy, the iconic running around through a hallway filled with doors which yeah they are iconic but little ole me wanted real monsters actual paranormal stuff but to be fair I've only seen Scooby-Doo Where Are You? you know the original show from the 60's in Boomerang (do kids even know Boomerang, does Boomerang still exist?!?!)

That why I really like the live-action movies (from the early 2000's because I know that they did more but they where for tv) not only do they have some real monsters to some extent but they are actually a great adaptation of a cartoon because they are so comedic and campy, that it feels like an actual cartoon in real life

To be fair I haven't seen a lot of the movies or other tv shows maybe there is some media where they actually deal with some real paranormal and the horror gets intense I have heard the Mystery Incorporated is really good and they do deal with real monsters and that it has some actual lore and great interactions between the gang.

And I do wanna watch the crossover they had with Courage the Cowardly Dog it looks like a lot of fun and intense.

But I really do like the concept of a group of teens and their dog in a van going around and solving mysteries and I'm thinking this is gonna be my marathon of this year, every year since 2020 I do a marathon of some studio or franchise 2020 was Ghibli, 2021 was Muppets this year it might be Scooby-Doo and I actually started watching Scooby Doo Where are You? As some background noise while I draw or do some chores and I've been enjoying it if I'm honest.

If you got any movie or series to recommend I'll watch it.

Thanks for the ask!

P.s. I saw some videos of the Hex Girls and I get it now I get the hype.

#ask #ask game #warner bros. #hanna barbera #scooby doo

[tttinytrash]

Ok fine, I caved again. Originally I said I’d at least attempt to not kidnap @shamedump‘s boys again, but their boys are so sweet (and also have to convenient distinction of not actually wanting to hurt their little reader buddy). Dumpling gave me the green light so with their blessing I’m going ahead with Shy’s final prompt for spoopy hide-and-eat with the Bad Sans Gang using Dumpling’s version of the spooky boyos. I hope I channel their personalities adequately, and I hope you guys enjoy!

Movie night with they guys was always a highlight of your week.

You all met as Archer’s castle on a regular basis to just hang out, piling into one room. Thank goodness this was a whole freaking castle, because your gang was pretty big. Despite the size of the room, the couch really wasn’t big enough for your whole group. As per usual Chain, Mage, Dusty, and Mason were crammed on the couch leaving Deca and you to nest on the floor. The plethora of cushions strewn about made that a non issue, luckily. Crash had made himself a hammock out of his own strings overhead, knitting a scarf absently as the movies served as background noise. This week, the reason the seven of you were sprawled over the couch in the first place was the horror movie marathon going on the TV across the room. 

You turned away as the blood curdling screams shrieked from the speakers, the delightful sounds of the hot blonde being torn apart by the feral werewolf on screen acting as your backing track as you cried “Oh come on! That’s just gratuitous!” You laughed, entertained by the campiness buried in the gore but still refraining from watching until the wet squelches subsided.

“you ok?” Chain asked, looking you over. (You didn’t miss Mage glancing over at you either.)

“I’m good. Having a good time, but so not looking forward to the nightmares tonight.” you respond, flapping a hand as if to waft away the concern.

“scared of horrible monsters coming to get you in the night?” Mason teased, abandoning his spot on the couch to push at your shoulder and attempt to loom.

Despite the blank sockets and black tears, the goof didn’t scare you so you laughed easily. “Not like that, and you know it. Stoppit.” You started to push him off, which made him double down on the game and try to knock you over into the pillow pile. 

Mage broke up the game before it turned into proper rough housing, wrapping one tendril around your waist and another around Mason’s ankle. He yanked you both off the floor, chiding “enough, you two.” 

Mason ended up limply hanging upside down, clearly unabashed and jokingly making grabby hands at you.

To prevent further childishness, Mage dumped you into Chain’s lap and dropped Mason into the thickest portion of the pillow pile.

You giggled when Chain wrapped himself around you, setting his chin on the crown of your head and purring about the newfound proximity.

Deca spun around to look at you, “you get nightmares after scary movies?”

“I mean yeah, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay for a good time.” You shrug, as best you can while wrapped up in Chain’s arms.

“Y-y-you know you’re just about the best guarded human-n in the multiverse, right?” Crashed asked, setting hit knitting aside.

“Yeah, I’m well aware that anyone who wanted to get me would have to go through you guys. My brain is just dumb.” You pat the skeleton wrapped around you as best you could, which in your position was patting the thick ecto on his middle since that’s all you could reach.

His belly reacted to the attention by growling, which you could feel while being pressed into it. You could practically feel the mischief coming off Chain as he said “well, i’m plenty willing to make that more literal if you want.” To emphasize, he licked your head.

You pulled away from the intruding tongue, and Chain let you tumble away from him and back onto the floor, laughing as you squealed about him being gross and trying to fix your hair from the huge cowlick Chain had gifted you.

You noticed Dusty quietly saying something to Mason, which was a pleasant surprise as Dusty usually preferred not to speak much if at all. You asked Mason what was up, curious what made the reserved skeleton speak up.

“he’s asking if i think you being taken in would help with the nightmares. so, would it?”

“Uh... dunno. Never tried it before.” You said truthfully.

“why don’t we try it out, then. but make it a game?” Mage asked, grin quirking predatorily.

“Game?” You asked, curious to see where this went.

“yes. you run, we chase. winner gets to keep you for the night.”

“Hah! Am I player or the prize?”

Mage shrugged, “both.”

You glanced around the room and saw several hopeful gazes and a few curious ones. Crash rolled his eyes and went back to his knitting, but you couldn’t deny the puppy dog eyes you were getting from some of the others.

“Alright, game on.”

-----

Crash made a seat for himself and another for Deca high up in the canopy of the woods by the castle, which would serve as your arena for the game. (Thematically appropriate, plus no one could tumble down unforgiving stone stairs.) Crash and Deca tapped out before the game began, neither of them really wanting a guest your size. The others still seemed gung ho, so they were on the forest floor with you. 

You waved your flashlight around the area, already scoping out routes, as Mage explained that a victory meant catching you, no shortcuts allowed, and stipulations about magic to keep you from getting hurt during the chase. You kinda tuned it out, instead strategizing. Not like you had to worry about limiting spells you couldn’t cast in the first place. 

You got a minute head start, and your heart was pounding as you ran. 60 seconds had gone by in your mental countdown, which meant you were officially being hunted.

You were mildly nervous, but far from afraid. You did try to tamp down on the nervous feeling and instead focus on your excitement about a new game. Hopefully a more positive feeling would be harder for Mage to track. 

You weren’t left alone too terribly long, as Dusty had a habit of popping up randomly, forcing you to run away with him snickering behind you. You quickly caught on that he was just there for jumpscares, which made you laugh. You weren’t totally positive where the others were for now, though. That made you more paranoid.

The first time you actually felt the game was afoot was when Mason suddenly appeared on your right and made a grab for you. You dodged the grab, and darted in the opposite direction. Being chased by Mason, you almost missed the dark chuckle in front of you. Luckily you didn’t, as your quick turn saved you from Mage’s tendril’s snapping out towards you. The realization that the tendrils were significantly harder to dodge than Mason had been made you realize Mason wasn’t actually trying to catch you, instead herding you towards Mage.

The realization that Mason was helping Mage rather than himself wasn’t surprising, but definitely amusing. You had to dodge plenty more of Mason’s divebombs, and Mage quickly caught on that you knew what was going on and actually had to chase after you now as well, rather than waiting for Mason to bring you close enough for a grab. You heard Deca laughing from high above when Mason lunged at you but missed, ending in a face plant. Good to know the two non participants were still entertained. Given this opening, you took off yet again only to be stopped by Dusty springing from a shrub.

It was no effort to get away from him, as per usual. But how did he keep finding you so easily?!

Oh, Delta. It was the freaking flashlight! You realized the bright light was all but a beacon in the dark woods. Mason had given it to you, hadn’t he? Ooh, that cheeky little-!

Fine, you could use their trick against them. You jammed the light in the crook of a tree and took of running, leaving the bulb alight. The laughter from both Mason and Mage meant they’d found your trick, but you were far from your boobytrap and felt a sense of victory.

Your skeleton sightings became fewer now, and your night vision had finally adjusted to the dim light of the moon. But it also heightened the nerves instinctual for humans in the dark. You actually screamed the next time Dusty caught you by surprise, and while you backpedalled you didn’t miss the surprised look on Dusty’s face before you felt two solid somethings wrap around from behind you and lock you in place.

You wriggled with all your might out of a pure fear reaction but stilled when you realized two things. 1) The things holding you were big, thick arms. 2) The plushness of the body you were being held to meant it was Chain.

You looked up, breathy laughter tinging your words as you said “I only saw you once this whole game, but wow did you make it count!”

Deca shortcutted to the ground beside you, while Dusty and Chain chuckled at your outburst.

“figured ambush was the way to go. picked a spot and waited for the right moment, and dusty gave me the perfect window.” Chain explained.

“did you even know he was there, dusty?” Deca asked. 

He shook his head, smiling wide.

Crash seems to have been the one who called Mason and Mage that the game was over, as all three approached in a group.

“well played, chain. and you did pretty well too, human.” Mage said as he approached. 

Once the trio joined, the group was left in a loose ring and you still being held by the large skeleton who’d caught you. Conversation was immediate and comfortable, reliving some of the more lively moments and near misses with glee and laughing over mistakes made. After a bit, the chatter was cut by a rolling growl from Chain’s stomach which served as a reminder as to what victory entailed.

“well, the wager was already set. we’ll go set up the sleeping arrangements and meet you back at the castle. see you later, human.” Mage said, leading the others away and leaving just you and Chain out in the cool night air.

“you ready to get in your sleeping bag?” Chain asked, adjusting his grip on you at last to a more bridal style.

“Hah, yeah. Sounds pretty comfy to me.”

Chain smiled before gently fitting your head into his mouth while you went limp to make the next few moments easier on your host. Chain started swallowing with an easy, steady rhythm and you felt yourself relax in response. This was far from your first time being taken in by one of your skeletal companions so you knew the drill. It was with a happy sigh from Chain that you finished your downward journey and slid into the more open space of his stomach. The magic around you was mildly cool but comfortable, and the softness let you sink in a bit and feel cradled and safe.

Chain’s hand pressed in from outside to steady his newly added weight and you felt the light sway as he began to walk back into the castle. You began to rub at the surrounding walls in a successful attempt to get the monster to purr, and he even started rubbing back at you with your free hand.

He did you the favor of turning his magic transparent for you once you were back in the castle. He knew you preferred being able to see people if conversations were happening, and knowing how these nights went sleep wasn’t on the itinerary just yet despite the bedding being set up and pajamas being on.

Once you host had settled where he’d be sleeping, conversations flowed and jokes were made amongst the group with little difference from before despite your seating arrangements. Eventually, Mason approached and started to lightly pester you through the barrier of magic between you two. Chain seemed more entertained by the banter than bothered, but you hadn’t missed the black puddle that formed on the floor behind Mason.

A tendril emerged, wrapped around Mason’s ribs, and dragged him in. The satisfied look on Mage’s face would have clued anyone in the group in to where the troublemaker had ended up even without seeing him be puddled. Any nonexistent doubts also would have been dashed by Mage’s hand remaining on his belly the rest of the evening.

After a while, sleep was imminent and everyone settled comfortably strewn about Mage’s room. Mage and his internal guest were of course veiled on Mage’s four poster bed while everyone else was on various cots and cushions. Even without the luxury of a king sized mattress you felt exceedingly comfortable.

“doin ok in there?” Chain asked quietly.

“Oh, peachy on my end. How ‘bout you?” You kneaded at the wall the way you knew he liked.

He purred at your attentions, rubbing back as best he could from outside. “just wondering if this nightmare cure will do you any good, but i’m feeling pretty peachy too.”

“I will say, pretty hard to feel vulnerable in here. I’ll let you know come morning.”

“good. night, y/n.”

“Goodnight, big guy.”

You both settled in, and it felt like Chain falling asleep took mere seconds. You smiled fondly at the soft sounds of his slowed breathing and his body working around you.

As you drifted off, you couldn’t help but wonder if the chasing game would be played again at some point. 

...

Maybe next week you could watch the sequel to tonight’s movie.

#extreme cuddling #safe vore #soft vore #undertail vore

[vashito]

I need your guidance.

I haven’t seen Godzilla in forever and recently I was able to watch the first film from 1954.

I know you’re Godzilla’s main hype man so I need some recommendations! What are some good ones to watch that you’ve really loved?

I love being known as godzilla’s main hype man hahah im here to help! best movie is far and way the one you just watched! 54 Gojira is a gat damn masterpiece and the best place to start. Now its important to also know what you want out of your godzilla movies because that changes what is considered “good”,  if you want campy funtimes, theres a lot to enjoy,  if you want very serious and dark, theres very few. SO my favs for various reasons SHOWA ERA Gojira ‘54 the GOAT take all the awards Mothra vs Godzilla ‘64 one of the best story wise and iconic suit! if u like mothra its great with the twins and the music is A++++ Ghidora the 3 headed monster ‘64 great intro to godzilla’s most iconic villain plus rodan and mothra too, a fun one From here you can skip a lot of 60′s cheese til Terror of Mechagodzilla ‘75 - a bit darker than the previous HEISEI ERA Godzilla vs. Biollante - interesting story about genetically modified plant tissue mutating with godzilla’s dna and going haywire Godzilla vs. Mothra ‘92 i enjoy this one as a mothra stan and the inclusion of Batra is a cool update Godzilla vs Destroyah ‘95  one of my TOP TOP TOP favs, this is a one of the best, great monsters and an important story to godzilla’s history. Emotional Ending. 7 stars out of 5 MILLENIUM ERA GMK Giant Monsters All Out Attack ‘01 my fav from this era with some updates to classic monsters and really cool looking suits.  Baragon go RAAA Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla ‘02 really like the plot of the mecha being build around the original ‘54 godzilla’s bones, and the spirit of 54 Goji awakening REIWA ERA Shin Godzilla 2016 - my fav after the original, this movie for the most part brings a lot of seriousness and realism back into it, esp with dealing how modern japanese govt would deal with Godzilla as a natural disaster. A+++++ Thank you for asking me this and letting me be a big nerd

#godzilla #zenathered

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: June 2021

We in Ontario are still mostly locked down and my area is the MOST locked down (not being dramatic, it’s genuinely the only region that isn’t opening up at the start of July). What this means is there’s still lots of time for safe, distanced, indoor activities! Here’s how I spent June.

……….FILM……….

Groundhog Day (1993) Despite liking practically every time loop movie I’ve watched, I’d never seen Groundhog Day. It was great! I was surprised by how much of a journey Bill Murray’s character went on. Just when I thought he’d gotten to the point where he would break the cycle, the movie says “nope!” and digs deeper. Now I understand why it gets referenced in all the other time loop movies.

Cruella (2021) It’s a fairly bonkers premise and it’s just campy enough to work. The scenes where it slows down for drama feel...unnecessary, but maybe overall it was still a good time at the (at home) movies! It takes some swings and I’ll never complain about that.

……….TELEVISION……….

Loki (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) I tend to prefer my Marvel stuff a little more fantastic so this is...right up my alley. Time travel, strange planets, it’s all great. Very Doctor Who. Keen to see how this shapes up.

The Bachelorette (Episode 17.01 to 17.04) Katie gives off such a good “I’m not supposed to be here” energy that I can’t help but enjoy this season. That and the change from Chris Harrison to Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe is the breath of fresh air I need.

Neon Genesis Evangelion (Episode 1.12 to 1.17) Still a very slow burn and a slow watch for me but I’m digging it! It seems to be in an exposition/bigger plot phase right now so not as much giant robot v monster battles but hey, I’m all for variety.

Superstore (Episode 4.12 to 5.08) The series has really transitioned from Jonah and Amy to the full cast and that’s great! Also hitting some surprisingly topical story beats.

……….READING……….

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia (Complete) I have a rather limited exposure to the gothic genre (Dracula, Frankenstein, and Crimson Peak are pretty much it) but this felt right at home. Turns out I really dig contemporary gothic novels! If you liked Crimson Peak then check this novel out. If you haven’t seen Crimson Peak, watch that and read this.

DC: The New Frontier by Darwyn Cooke (Complete) Still one of my absolute favourite comics. I’d pitch this as Mad Men meets the Justice League. It deftly weaves fun superheroics into real-world events around the late 50s (including the overt racism and misogyny of the time). The pacing and artwork are cinematic, the narrative feels big enough for a full-team threat, and everyone feels like they’re a piece in a bigger puzzle. Just love it.

Beautiful Darkness by Fabien Vehlmann and Kerascoët (Complete) One of my favourite graphic novels to reread every so often. It’s so dark and sad yet beautiful to look at. I admit I less enjoyed the...meanness of the tiny fairy-like characters on the latest reading, but I think that’s byproduct fo the general climate in which I’m reading the book. Still highly recommend.

Head Lopper Volume 2 & Head Lopper Volume 3 by Andrew Maclean with Jordie Bellaire (Complete) Volume 2 is still my fave of the trio. The plot and pacing are ace and the style feels a lot more pulpy. Volume 3 is a really fun story that expands the world but it all feels...rushed in a way that the previous volumes didn’t. Maybe it’s the larger cast and the bigger story, but there were a number of times where I felt like panels were missing. The evolving art style is a lot more loose and I like it overall, but I think the art would be better complimented by more breathing room. As critical as this is sounding, I still have a blast every time I read this series and I’ve preordered volume 4, so know that I criticize because I love it all so so much.

……….AUDIO……….

The Adventure Zone: Ethersea (Podcast) I fell off of The Adventure Zone a while back but I’m digging this new premise! I know the worldbuilding episodes may not be loved by some but I really dig seeing how the sausage is made and getting a glimpse at another gaming format. Good stuff.

Love to See It (Podcast) With all the Bachelorette stuff going on this summer, I’m glad this podcast is back (albeit with a different name).

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The adventurers have made some MAJOR waves on the island! Or at least with one faction. I won’t spoil anything so there’s a more thorough breakdown over on Reddit!

Super Mario 3D All Stars (Nintendo) I wrapped up Super Mario Galaxy and I’m reminded that I always enjoy the 3D Mario games for about 60% of the time it takes to complete it. It just doesn’t feel as satisfying or challenging (in a good way, you know?) than the 2D platformers. It’s just not for me, an old.

And that’s it! As always, let me know if you have anything to recommend and happy Wednesday!

#Monthly Media #Kolbisneat #Andrew Kolb

[justgottafinishthischapter]

Tips on Writing LGBT Characters

As LGBT+ rights continue to make great strides in becoming normalized and accepted by widespread culture, LGBT people have started to pop up far more often in different forms of media. However, because LGBT people can vary wildly in experiences, locations, and beliefs, it can be tricky for someone to really have a good idea of what makes for good representation. Some would argue that it simply being acknowledged is enough, while others would argue that it needs to be a present part of the character, while others argue that it shouldn’t be the focus of the character and that their other traits should be emphasized on more. So, where should one start? Here are a few tips to lead the way.

If You Are Not LGBT, Do Not Make Your Story About Being LGBT - I’m not saying you can’t write an LGBT character if you yourself are not LGBT. A white person can’t really write a story about what it means to be black because it is an experience of life they have never experienced for themselves. If you want to write a story with an LGBT character, or better yet, a protagonist, that’s wonderful. But their sexuality, sex, or gender should not be a focal point of the narrative unless you know the experience first hand.

Not All People Use the Same Labels - Although the term queer is being reclaimed by some people in the LGBT community, there are those who still do not like the use of the word, and the same goes for other slurs. Like with the ‘n’ word for black people, some LGBT people feel fine using terms such as queer and fag when referring to themselves or friends who they know it doesn’t bother, but most LGBT people are mindful to remember that not everyone feels the same way about these harmful words.

Don’t Bury Your Gays - In the cinema that emerged from Hollywood following the censorship laws of the Hays Code in 1930, characters that were coded as homosexuals or otherwise ‘deviants’ from the social norm were punished, often with death. Themes of self-loathing were common, and it became extremely common for one or both members of a suspected homosexual couple in a movie to be killed by the end of the story, if not be portrayed as a sick monster or villain by the end. If they weren’t gunned down, their self-loathing boiled over and they took their own lives. So, if the only LGBT character in your story dies, consider killing off a different character, due to the particularly dark and troubled history of this trope. On a related note, if you’ve written a villain to be campy and effeminate in order to make them funny or look silly, you are once again playing into harmful stereotypes due to the frequency with which stereotypical homosexual behavior is used to code villains in order to make these behaviors look wrong and villainous.

Understand the Difference Between Stereotypical and Nuanced - In the public eye, the stereotype of the gay male is that he is campy and effeminate with a lack of interest in traditional masculinity, and that the lesbian female skins wild animals and fixes broken appliances with the same vigor she plays softball and chugs beer. However, it is fair to point out that some of this is truth in television, and there are people in the world who are just as stereotypical if not more-so than these depictions. So, where is the line between stereotypes and realistic characters? The difference comes in how it is intended. If the audience or reader is meant to laugh at the character because oh ha a man shouldn’t act like that, then the portrayal is harmful and stereotypical. If the only defining characteristic of the character is that they are LGBT, then that is not a well-written character. Being LGBT does not dictate one’s interests or hobbies. But don’t feel compelled to write the exact opposite of the stereotype either. Effeminate gay men are people too, and although they flood the media perception excessively, there’s still a difference to be found between a character written to be gay, and a character who just happens to be gay.

A Character’s Surroundings Will Impact Who They Are - Two gay men could be completely identical in every single way but end up extremely different due to a simple change in hometown. Aside from universal experiences such as coming to terms with one’s sexuality or the coming out process, not all LGBT people are going to be met with the same challenges or the same opportunities. Take for example a gay boy in high school. Imagine him going to a public school in New York City or Los Angeles where the mindset tends to be more liberal and the population size is far larger. In a school with a student body of 300,000 students, he’s far more likely to go to school with other LGBT people based simply on population density and statistics. He’s far more likely to get a boyfriend from his own school, be part of an at least decently sized Gay Straight Alliance, and can probably come out with less fear of rejection on the whole. Now compare and contrast to someone living in a small town in Wyoming. On the whole, Wyoming is one of the least populated states in America. That exact same gay boy may now find himself one of only maybe a small handful of LGBT people. If there’s only one other guy in his school or even worse, his town who also likes boys, the two may very well almost force themselves into a relationship in order to satisfy a need for physical or emotional intimacy. By the time they go away to college, they may have already clung to each other so much that it’s easier just to keep the relationship going than to try to find somebody new. Skip ahead a few more years, and they may have a very rocky marriage held together on the sole grounds that at one point in their lives, they were each other’s only options for romance, and that them both being LGBT was not enough to hold a relationship together. Taking these kinds of elements into consideration when constructing a narrative with an LGBT character can yield compelling stories if examined under the right circumstances.

The Pitfalls of Dating - As if backlash from society, faith, and media portrayal aren’t bad enough, one of the most annoying parts of being gay can be finding a partner. Continuing with the school example from before, imagine that in a class of 180 that 13 students are LGBT, of those, 6 are males, your gay male character and his only five options for a potential boyfriend. Factor in the possibilities of incompatible interests, physical attraction, and even popularity, and of those five options, he may only have eyes for one guy in the entire school. Then, what can he do when he finds out the only guy he’s interested in is already with someone else? Well he’s left with three options: try a different school, hope someone comes out of the closet, or get comfortable with being alone. This can also put a lot more pressure on the anxiety of asking someone out. If a straight guy asks a girl out, even if she rejects him, he’s got another 60 girls he could pursuit. When there’s only 5 guys available, and there’s a realistic chance that the ones he finds attractive won’t be interested in him, there’s a lot more lost if he dares ask his crush out and gets rejected. There’s also the fact that especially straight men may get angry and possibly even hostile should a gay guy express romantic interest in them, to the point where some gay men may feel afraid to ask a guy out unless they can either get a good feel for whether he’s likely to respond that way, or a clear sign that the man is a homosexual.

Coming Out Is A Deeply Personal Decision - A sort of unspoken cardinal rule among LGBT people is essentially, “Thou Shalt Not Out Thy Community”. Outing someone else is a taboo within LGBT culture, due to the sensitive nature of the topic, and because some may be at risk of their home lives or work lives being compromised by this information getting out, and others just don’t feel like sharing this aspect of their lives with others. Thus outing someone else, especially intentionally, is considered to be a very egregious offense.

Transgender and Drag are not the Same Thing - A transwoman is a woman who was Assigned Male At Birth and a transman is likewise a man who was Assigned Female At Birth. A Drag Queen is a man who dresses in women’s clothing as a form of entertainment. A Transwoman is a woman. A drag queen may use female pronouns on the stage, but when the dress comes off, the man underneath is still a man and still identifies as  man. A Transwoman is a woman no matter what kind of clothes she’s wearing or what she looks like.

#writing tips #writing gay #gay writing #gay characters #gay rep #gay representation #lgbt #queer #writing advice

[almasexya]

Monster Monday: Godzilla

Well, I’ve decided to do it.

I’m going to go through every Kaiju movie that Toho has put out, front to back. We’re in that phase of quarantine y’all, and I’ve got an entire shelf full of these. I’ll try to keep the general structure of these write-ups fairly similar, with an overview and review of the movie, along with how I watched it and if I’ve seen it before.

So we might as well start at the beginning, and that beginning is of course, 1954′s Godzilla, or Gojira if you prefer the Japanese pronunciation. With 36 Japanese-language releases and two American remakes, along with multiple cartoon shows, the Godzilla series is one of, if not the longest-running film series out there, and it was starting up what we’d now call a “cinematic universe” way before Nick Fury showed up at the end of the first Iron Man.

Toho, the studio behind the Godzilla series also made other kaiju movies, and by the fourth Godzilla sequel they started tying these other creatures into their cash cow franchise, and before you knew it, there was a whole continuity. There have been different directors, writers, actors, monsters, you name it, but Godzilla himself is always a constant. While the continuity may at times be tenuous or outright bizarre, it is very much present, and it's what makes these movies so fun.

Though you won’t see any of that in the original Godzilla. Aside from possibly Shin Godzilla, there’s no other Godzilla movie that even comes close to the original, either in its bleak tone or in its stellar quality. This is probably my fourth or fifth time with the original Godzilla, and this time around I watched it on the 15-film Criterion set, though there’s also a single DVD/Blu Ray release of the Criterion edit as well.

The film begins with a fishing ship being destroyed by a strange, bright flash from under the sea. No ones survives, and countless more ships go missing, (in a fashion that absolutely evokes the Lucky Dragon incident, which in 1956 was still a painful memory) and a vicious typhoon strikes nearby Odo Island, an expedition travels there to try and find out what’s happening. Among the crew are three of our main characters, Ogata, a salvage ship captain, (Akira Takarada) his girlfriend Emiko, (Momoko Kochi) and her father and renowned paleontologist Dr. Yamane (Takashi Shimura). The trio encounter Godzilla, who rampages through the island before returning to the sea.

Yamane presents his research back in Tokyo, concluding that Godzilla is an ancient dinosaur disturbed by H-Bomb testing. Lines are drawn, with many wanting to kill the creature, and others, prominently Yamane, who wish to leave the creature be and study it. This conflict brings in our fourth protagonist, Dr. Serizawa (Akihiko Hirata) a reclusive scientist working on a dangerous project.

Afterwards, Godzilla attacks Tokyo, first briefly and then in full force, destroying buildings and incinerating countless civilians with his atomic breath. Nothing the military does has any effect on the beast, and he levels huge swaths of the city before returning to the sea. In the aftermath of the attack, scores of people are dead and even more are sickened with radiation poisoning. Emiko and Ogata convince Serizawa to use his creation, a weapon known as the oxygen destroyer, to try and kill Godzilla. Ogata and Serizawa dive into the sea and release the oxygen destroyer, after which Serizawa cuts his line to the ship and dies with the monster, so that his research can never be used again.

The film itself is a grim, bleak metaphor for the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, with a giant radioactive dinosaur standing in for the atomic bombs. The carnage Godzilla causes is played completely straight - hospitals are crowded with victims, and in one poignant scene that eventually wins over the reticent Serizawa, a children’s choir sings a stirring dirge for the dead, and it’s a scene that can’t help but stay with you.

Ishiro Honda’s direction is the deft, with sweeping shots of Godzilla that convey power and menace that none of the sequels can match up to. Scenes of Tokyo burning with Godzilla silhouetted against the flames have a chilling effect, and the camera lingers on them for just the right amount of time.

The stirring, bombastic score by Akira Ifukube deserves special mention as well. Many of the themes that would become franchise classics were born here, and they have an optimistic, brassy quality that lend excitement to the military scenes, as well as dread to the scenes of destruction.

Eiji Tsuburaya’s effects work is also stellar, especially considering this was their first real test of what would become a winning formula. The model cities are top notch, though there are a few shots of falling cars and trucks that have a toy-like quality to them, they’re gone in seconds and don’t detract from the experience. The Godzilla suit itself, a 220 lb beast that suit actor Harou Nakajima could only wear for around three minutes at a time without fainting, looks fantastic, though it’s clearly bulky and difficult for the actor to move in. The same praise can’t be given to the hand puppet used for the close ups of Godzilla, which looks clearly nothing like the suit and is really the only outright failure of the film. Later sequels would handle it better, so it’s difficult to fault the team too much when they were still finding their feet.

Overall, the original Godzilla is a tour de force, and it’s damn hard to find anything negative to say about it. The performances are great, and the human story draws you in, waiting for Godzilla to finally appear (though unfortunately his first on-screen appearance is in puppet form, which lessens the gravity a bit). The haunted Dr. Serizawa deserves a special mention here, a clear nod to the legacy of the atom bomb, he is torn apart by guilt that his invention (that he created on accident) could be used to cause yet more harm to the world. Dr. Yamane, in his desire to see Godzilla protected, is clearly wracked with pain seeing this creature that humanity unleashed have to die, yet he knows even more suffering will follow if it lives.

The story is tight and a joy to watch - there’s a palpable sense of dread whenever Godzilla is onscreen, and Nakajima moves slowly and deliberately, like a confused animal reacting to the world around him. Unlike many of the American monster movies from the same time period, the cast have sympathy for the monster, and there’s no great victory in killing it, only sadness both for the sake of Godzilla and Serizawa, who couldn’t bear to live in a world that would abuse his invention.

If you haven’t seen the original Godzilla, or if you’re more familiar with the campy 60s and 70s sequels like Godzilla vs. Megalon, do yourself a favor and watch this one. Clocking in at 96 minutes, there’s no scene wasted, and it’s a real thrill to see where the king of the monsters came from.

The film ends with a melancholy Dr. Yamane ruminating on the possibility of another Godzilla out there, waiting to be released if humanity continued its nuclear testing. That Godzilla, and not the original, would be back, much sooner than the good doctor expected.

#godzilla #monster monday

[ladyofpurple]

answer all of the questions!!

holy SHIT ok bless you omg

(sorry it's a full day late i took this shit SERIOUSLY. don't ask me how many hours this took, i was in A Mood™️ last night. removed the ones already answered xoxo)

angel; have you ever been in love?

yeah. didn't end too well, but i loved him.

petal; favorite novel and author?

this is like asking me to pick a favorite child. i guess favorite author would be stephen king, if only based entirely on the sheer quantity of his books i own alone. favorite book would probably be special topics in calamity physics by marisha pessl, and i'm only saying that because it's been my go-to response for years. i have lots of favorite books. ask me again in five minutes and i'll give you another one.

honey perfume; favorite perfume/scent?

freshly made coffee. lilacs. jasmine. cut grass. the ground after it rains. chocolate chip cookies in the oven. cigarette smoke on skin. my mom's shampoo. my grandma. my dog when he's just had a bath. thanksgiving dinner. acrylic paint on canvas. sawdust. that one cologne i can't name but can smell on a guy from a mile away. mulled cranberry and apple juice. vanilla. coconut. fresh laundry. peppermint.

sweet pea; what’s your zodiac?

virgo sun, pisces moon, scorpio rising ✨

softie; talk about your sexuality.

i'm biromantic asexual, primarily attracted to men more than women (but have had too many crushes on girls to consider myself het), generally sex repulsed when it comes to the thought of having it myself. i prefer to call myself queer in passing conversation, it's easier than explaining asexuality and the differences between sexual and romantic attraction. if someone asks more specifically, i'll usually just call myself bi for simplicity's sake, even though the ace part is a much more important (to me) part of my identity. monogamous as fuck.

i'm still struggling with internalized homophobia and a lot of "am i even queer enough" thoughts, which is super fun. took me a long time to even consider the fact that i might like girls at all. i'll probably never come out to my parents. not that they'd, like, disown me or whatever, but they're juuuuust homophobic/transphobic enough that my few attempts to educate them when they say something A Little Yikes have shown me that i should probably just stay in the closet unless i absolutely have to come out. like i'm getting married to a woman or something.

sugarplum; what’s the color of your eyes and hair?

i usually say my eyes are green because it's easier, and they mostly are, but i have rings of greyish blue around the irises and sometimes they're more hazel in the middle. they always have a green tint to them though, even if the intensity of the green varies.

my natural hair is brown, a little on the darker and slightly ashy side of completely generic. currently a former blonde, although i'm hoping to bleach my fucking YEAR of growout soon, and then go some crazy color as a last hurrah before i have to go dark again. being broke fucking sucks.

wings; coffee or tea?

tea!! black tea. chai, to be specific, with an irresponsible amount of milk and sugar. chai lattes are a fucking drug okay? coffee makes me sick (not a judgement, a literal fact. last time i tried some i threw up).

fairytale; are you a cat or dog person?

cat!! but my family has a chihuahua named sonny and you can pry that little monster from my cold dead hands ok i will fight you.

snowflake; favorite time period?

okay, i wrote and rewrote my answer to this about 10 times. then i tried to divide it up into categories (aesthetics, history, fashion, vibes, geographical location, etc), but that didn't help. so basically: i don't have one, because i have too many.

i like the american 20s-60s for the aesthetic, music/movies, and the fashion. i also like the european 1600s-1800s for the interesting history and also vibe. i love the french and russian revolutions — the fashion! the art! the wars and political upheaval! I FUCKING LOVE HISTORY. then, of course, we can't forget the rennaisance. or the witch trials (pick your continent). and ancient greece? the roman empire? hello?? did i mention empires? how bout we mosy on over to south america — can i interest you in the mayans? incans? aztecs? what about china and japan? korea? vietnam? and don't even get me fucking STARTED on the black plague.

ancient egypt? sign me the FUCK UP. vikings? yes please. the celts? oh boy. the MYTHOLOGY. the ARCHITECTURE. the LANGUAGES and POLITICS and LITERATURE and REVOLUTIONS and GOD HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN ANY OF THESE

i uh. might have gotten a little excited. basically i like history a lot. and mythology. and linguistics. and cultural practices. and the politics and prejudices behind wars and stuff. and learning in general. moving on.

vanilla; do you believe in ghosts?

let's put it this way: i don't not believe in ghosts??

listen. we don't know jack shit. we don't know what happens after we die, there are constant scientific revelations that turn our understanding of the universe completely upside-down, and there is literally no way to know which religions or myths or urban legends could have some grain of truth to them. like, dude, i've literally thought i was haunted before. psychology is bananas and the universe is infinite.

demons could be real. ghosts could be real. what if we just haven't invented the necessary technology to prove it yet? what if we never do, and they just fuck around alongside us, moving furniture and making shadow puppets on the walls just for kicks until the earth explodes? what if that one tumblr post was right and ghosts are actually real people from alternate universes or timelines that we see accidentally bc some cosmic wires got crossed? who fucking knows.

i love horror movies and scary stories and ghost hunter shows just as much as the next gal. but listen. psychics? mediums? people who accept every single creepypasta retold third-hand from their neighbor's kid's classmate's second cousin who "totally knows a guy"? doubt.jpeg

i don't understand the sheer amount of assumptions made willy-nilly about the nature of ghosts and demons and things that go bump in the night. the assumption that "oh this machine that totally doesn't look like a coathanger taped to a walkman will work because ghosts have this temperature and can always communicate like this and are electromagnetic" or whatever just baffles me. to a certain degree, following a general consensus is one thing — some basic things everyone can agree on? that's cool. ghosts can walk through walls and are probably dead people or whatever. but oh my god, taking every single story as absolute, undeniable proof?? taking these stories and expanding on them to infer intentions and scientific facts to something that by it's very nature is unknowable and assuming, like, every spirit is created equal?? and yeah, ghost hunting shows are fun and campy and kinda creepy but like. you really, genuinely don't think any of them have ever faked anything at all??? even if ghosts are real, it's fucking reality tv, my dude. it's the entertainment industry. at least maintain the slightest ounce of critical thought before taking zak bagans' word as the goddamn gospel.

and sidenote, maybe it's just my limited exposure as a white woman in the western world, but of all the shows and podcasts and movies and documentaries and whatnot i've been able to find and consume, there's the constant use of christian ideology applied to every situation that just really burns my bacon. what, there's never been an atheist ghost? if you see a shadow person and you don't know the lord's prayer by heart, are you automatically fucked? why are there never stories about, i don't know, viking ghosts? does your religion in life preclude you from becoming a ghost in the first place? is that why people never mention buddhist ghosts? i don't get it, and that's why even though i'm self-admittedly the most superstitious person i've ever met, true believers make me roll my eyes so hard they almost fall out. makes me come across as more skeptical than i theoretically am. I HAVE VERY STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT THIS OK

but like, you couldn't pay me to fuck with a ouija board. i'm not stupid.

delicate; diamonds or pearls?

both have their appeal and their place, but diamonds, i guess. i like the sparkle. but fake ones!! or synthetic. diamonds are overpriced and artificial scarcity is a scam and i don't need a dumb rock that some poor person in a mine somewhere was exploited and possibly died for. no blood diamonds in this house, thank you very much.

if i ever get engaged, i don't want a diamond ring. i'd want something cool, a little unusual, like a ruby or a sapphire or some other sparkly gem that isn't literally shoved in your face every waking moment as the expected standard symbol of True Love. they're cheaper, they're cool-looking, as a ring they still hold the cultural symbolism of an engagement/wedding ring. and honestly, as long as it's well-made and durable, whatever hypothetical gem it is doesn't have to be real either. i'm a woman of simple needs and demonstrably low standards. no point in going into debt for a fucking piece of jewelry, regardless of ~tradition~.

lavender dream; favorite album?

oh lord. welcome to the black parade, i guess. or anything by panic! at the disco. there are dozens of possible options — my interests are mercurial and my memory is garbage. but i'll always be an emo little shit. black parade and vices and virtues were also the first two albums i ever listened to where i loved every single song on them, and i happened to listen to them for the first time at around the same point in my life (i got into mcr super late. like, 2012 late. rip).

silky; what’s your biggest dream?

it's cheesy but i guess i just want stability and, by extension, happiness. emotional stability, mental stability, financial stability, stable living situation, stable routines, stable relationships... you get the idea. i have ambitions and passions, of course, but my ultimate goal is happiness at this point in my life, and i'm pretty sure stabilizing all those things would go a pretty long way in achieving that goal.

a little apartment with walls i can paint because white walls make me angry. bookshelves and posters and fandom merch on every wall. a computer i can actually play games on again, and somewhere i can paint and draw and record my podcasts. someone who loves me, maybe. a cat, if i'm stable enough. space for people to come visit me, and a place for them to sleep if they need. a tiny balcony, if i really want to shoot for the stars. a job i don't hate. the spoons to hang out with my friends, and the money to not worry about buying little presents for the people i care about sometimes. i don't need much.

strawberry kiss; do you have a crush right now?

nope.

glitter; favorite fictional character?

another loaded question. like books, if you ask me again in five minutes i'll probably give you a different answer. but in this particular moment, caleb and jester from critical role (please don't make me choose between them). i won't go full shipping mode rn, but jester is so funny and silly and sweet, so much more complex than she seems, and she tries so hard to make everyone happy even when she's so sad inside. the healer who treats healing as an inconvenience in battle (she's so fucking valid and also mood), the glue that keeps the party together. and caleb learning to trust again, facing his trauma and coming out of his shell. he loves his friends so much he plays wizard as a support class and i love him so much.

i love the mighty nein in general, of course, and all the guests/honorary members they've had. pumat!! pls don't be evil reani!! keg!! shakäste and grand duchess anastasia!! cali!! kiri!!!! the brotps! empire siblings! chaos crew! nott the best detective agency! i still love molly and all his assholery to bits (fight me), and mourn his lost potential. i adore yasha, even when she's gone; fjord has grown so much; beau and nott and caduceus — i love all their flaws and disagreements and their character arcs and the excitement of watching them grow and learn. but if i had to choose, caleb, jester and molly have always been my top 3 since day 1 and, well, molly isn't really an option anymore.

but like i said, ask me again in a minute. i have a fucking list.

swan; share a quote or passage that means something to you.

a collection of things off the top of my head:

Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition. — Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen

a tired feminist Mood™️

"What I say is, a town isn't a town without a bookstore. It may call itself a town, but unless it's got a bookstore, it knows it's not foolin' a soul." — American Gods, Neil Gaiman

i got my love of books from my grandma — some of my favorites i got from her. sometimes, as a treat, she used to take my sister and i to bookstores and we'd stay there for ages, getting to pick one out, roaming the shelves, the mental torture of having to choose. the peace of being surrounded by thousands of potential worlds, so much information, so many stories just waiting to be told; being surrounded by strangers who share that same wonder. the anxious drive home so we could read them, being unable to wait that long so i inevitably start reading in the car and make myself sick. telling her in excited detail all my favorite parts. if we were lucky, maybe we got to split a bear claw, or she'd drive past starbucks and get us something there too (tall vanilla soy steamer with one pump of vanilla syrup, whipped cream on top that always melted too quickly and squirted out the hole in the lid, so hot it burned my tongue but so good i didn't care). i have never felt more at home than i do when i'm surrounded by books.

"There are a lot of different types of freedom. We talk about freedom the same way we talk about art, like it was a statement of quality rather than a description. “Art” doesn’t mean good or bad. Art just means art. It can be terrible and still be art. Freedom can be good or bad, too. There can be terrible freedom. You freed me, and I didn’t ask you to." — Alice Isn't Dead, season 1, chapter 2: Alice

as cringey as it is to admit it, this line made me cry a lot after my breakup.

"So you aren't American?" asked Shadow.

"Nobody's American," said Wednesday. "Not originally. That's my point." — American Gods, Neil Gaiman

[side-eyes white america real hard]

there's more, of course. there's always more. don't even get me started on song lyrics, we'll be here all day.

lace; what’s your favorite plant/flower?

lilacs and roses.

mermaid; do you prefer the forest or the ocean? why?

both, i guess. but in different ways, and in different circumstances.

the sea is wild. it is endless and deep and unknowable. it is beautiful and dangerous. i am terrified of the ocean, and yet my favorite place in the world is an empty beach on the oregon coast. i have picked sand from between my toes for days with hair crusted in salt, danced around bonfires and watched the stars while marshmallows burn, gotten pulled under the waves as a child and nearly swept out to sea. picked starfish and crabs from small pools in the rocks, and swum (accidentally) with wild sea lions. in a long skirt, too early in the year to be swimming, i once took off my shoes and waded fully clothed into the water to my waist and just... danced. splashed and kicked and laughed with a boy i barely knew until our throats were sore and our toes were numb, walking home hours later with our soaked clothes clinging to our legs, shoes squelching, dripping algae as we went. the ocean is freeing and overwhelming all at once. i love it and am petrified by it in equal measure.

the forest is beautiful in a different way. it is silent and dense and serene. you are surrounded by life and yet, somehow, completely alone. there is magic in the forest, and history, and even when all else dies, that will remain. the trees grow from the corpses of their ancestors, and some have lived dozens of our lifetimes — with luck, a few dozen more. it is quiet there, peaceful, even the tiniest wood in the middle of a city muffling the outside world through the trees. you can feel the ancient ways deep in your soul as you follow winding paths strewn with fallen leaves, the mystery and wonder and superstitions of your forefathers. you wonder what it would be like, to run your fingers over the moss, to take off your shoes and socks and just run, leaping and dancing over rocks and roots, hair wild and air filling your lungs in deep, pure gulps as you shed the responsibilities and struggles of modern life, for just a moment remembering what freedom tastes like. it is primal, this connection to nature, one we have nearly forgotten over time. and as the sky grows dark and the silence of night presses against you, shadows looming, every footfall deafening, perhaps you begin to understand why some believed in monsters.

honeymoon; do you keep a journal?

i used to. honestly, that's a good idea, i should start doing that again. lord knows i have enough empty journal-type books.

starlight; do you believe in love at first sight and soulmates? why/why not?

i want to. i want to believe there's someone out there for me, the love of my life, someone to whom i'll be the love of their life, and that when i meet them i'll just... know.

but when i met my ex, i didn't really look twice at him for a while — no love at first sight. and when we were together, when i loved him and he swore he loved me back, i thought he hung the stars in the sky and knew i would marry him someday. couldn't even consider the idea that that wouldn't happen. and then when he broke up with me, he ghosted me so suddenly and thoroughly that he even preemptively cut contact with every single one of our mutual friends he thought might side with me in the breakup, before anybody even knew we'd had a fight. so, not soulmates either.

i really want to believe that someday the perfect romance will just fall into place and i can have the happily ever after i've always dreamed of. but the reality is i might never even have another s.o. for the rest of my life. maybe i'll get hit by a car tomorrow, or my hypothetical soulmate moves to argentina to become an alpaca farmer on a mountain somewhere and we never even meet. maybe i'm so traumatized by the betrayal and lies that i'll never have the courage to even try again.

and even so, happily ever after doesn't have to include a fairytale romance, regardless of whether i want it or not. i still like to cling to that hope though, deep down.

princess; what do you value most in people?

i'm going to assume you mean "real people" as in people i have positive relationships with, and not random strangers on the street.

loyalty. kindness. support. humor. similar values. patience. being able to grow together and teach each other things, so we can make each other better. honesty. trust. compassion. confidence. emotional vulnerability. communication. intelligence, or at least a willingness to learn. strength.

#nobody asked me to go this hard and yet here we are #my favorite pasttimes: talking about myself and being pretentious on main #Lady answers stuff #anon good nurse #Lady of Purple's slice of life #ask meme

[posthumanwanderings]

while I was on the train to Nakano Broadway to collect more Heisei era Godzilla toys, I thought I’d make a personal list of the best to worst Godzilla films (up until Godzilla 2000 cause that’s around the time I stopped caring, I’ll try again tho) since the new Godzilla film is around the corner and maybe some of you are interested in giving the Big G’s archive a shot (you can delete this caption too if you just like the pic! and yes Morrigan counts as a kaiju, a beautiful one at that)

1. Terror of Mechagodzilla - last of the Showa era, ending with one of Godzilla’s most deadly foes. and I love how fucking big Titanosaurus is, god damn. the cyborg girl was cool too, loved her arc and how she controls both monsters.

2. Godzilla Vs. Mothra (90′s) - Mothra’s Heisei debut, and looking more dazzling than ever and also alongside her evil twin Battra. the fight in Yokohama (after its real life modern expansion when Japan’s economy was at its best) was a nice fresh setting for the climax. this one perfectly balances campyness and just a good kaiju film altogether. 3. Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster - Ghidorah, besides Mothra and Mechagodzilla is probably the next most recognizable kaiju even to nonfans. One of the best moments in Godzilla history is when Mothra desparately tries to convince Godzilla and Rodan to team up against an even bigger menace, then they can get back to their typical kaiju businesses. 4. Godzilla Vs. Destroyah - like how T.O.M. ended the Showa era with a bang, this is the one that ended the 85-95 era with a monster that really beats the shit out of zilla who is already on the cusp of exploding like a nuclear reactor... it ties together the very first Godzilla movie too for plus points. for those looking for a more serious, borderline horror movie kaiju experience.  5. Godzilla Vs. Mothra (60′s) - yup two Mothra movies in the top 5. Mothra fights with Godzilla are always so tense, since Mothra being a giant graceful butterfly appears so delicate against big boi Godzilla, plus her kids are under his threat as well. and on top of that Godzilla moves and fights like a drunkard the whole time. 6. Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (70′s) - Godzilla faces his robot clone for the first time who has one of the largest movesets of any other kaiju, a true force to be reckoned with. instead of Mothra being summoned by an ancient race, we have King Caesar, a stone guardian puppy dog lion to team up with zilla against the bigger baddie. fun fact: this was filmed right after Japan gained back Okinawa from America since WWII, and makes once again another fresh setting.

7. Godzilla 1985 - I’ll be honest, the lone Godzilla movies with no other kaiju weren’t the top of my interest especially being an ADHD kid, but from a film perspective this is shot really well, the miniature city set had a nice upgrade since T.O.M. from a decade before, and I love the laser beam special effects from the upgraded Japanese Defense Force in this.

8. Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah (90′s) - Not to be confused with the other 5ish Ghidorah encounters, this was the Heisei debut of the 3 headed monster mixed into a time travel plot since movies like Terminator were all the rage in the early 90′s. The tie in plot about WWII had more to be desired and felt very nationalist, but as a kaiju film the special effects were top notch especially with Mecha Ghidorah.

9. Destroy All Monsters - the ULTIMATE Showa era kaiju crossover fest has just about every giant monster Toho made up until the point because why not? It’s another typical story about mysterious aliens mind controlling kaiju to destroy Earth, but this time when they say Earth (and not just Tokyo) they mean it. Plenty of things get destroyed, nice big battle at the end, only thing lacking is they gave Baragon and Varan 3 seconds of screen time and they both are some of the coolest looking kaiju there are out there. big shame

10. Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (90′s) - in this Heisei take on MechaG, his role goes from super deadly alien robot menace to kinda still deadly robot guardian built by the EDF. he looks cool but just seems more weak compared to the more sinister alien engineered one. Rodan makes a long awaited return and basically has a custody battle with Godzilla over a mysterious kaiju egg. no spoilers

11. Godzilla Vs. Hedorah - probably the scariest Godzilla movie with Destroyah placed next. he fights an alien pollution monster who has been taking big rips from factory smoke stacks only making him bigger every time. Japan’s take on an environmental awareness film and I see nothing wrong with it one bit.

12. Godzilla Vs. Biolante - zilla sees another type of counterpart to himself, this time essentially a ‘PlantZilla’ after a scientist thought it might be a good idea to merge Godzilla cells with a plant for some reason. the story is a bit odd, but this remains in middle ground territory because it debuts Miki Saegusa, the super adorable psychic girl who appears in every 90′s film afterwards and the special effects of Biolante in final form are sick.it also has a disco version of the zilla theme for some reason.

13. Godzilla: King of The Monsters - someone would bash me big time for having this any lower on the list, but this is the one that started it all, grimly filmed in black & white a decade after the end of WWII. fans know this already but it’s the atomic bombs themselves which devastated Japan that influenced the idea for Godzilla, a force of mutated nature that lashes back on humanity for making really bad decisions. I like this and all but it lacks zero charm or kaiju style ‘fun’ but for good reason, since it was meant to be more of a horror flick. 

14. Godzilla Vs. Gigan - for those that do want the campiness, this is one of the best the series has to offer along with a couple more below. Godzilla’s ol pal Anguirus returns for his last Showa effort as they team up against space monsters Gigan (who is edgy af) and once again Ghidorah (who sadly has been fighting on his own the whole time while other monsters always team up to bash him). being in the 70′s, it’s got shades of James Bond / spy films in it and the fashion is on point. we get to hear Godzilla talk for the only time ever too.

15. Godzilla Vs. Megalon - probably out camps #14 for several reasons: this entire time there have been an ancient race of humans living below the Earth who feel enough is enough between pollution and expansion of society and finally unleash their protector, a giant cockroach monster with drills for arms to destroy just Japan all modern civilization (where was he during Hedorah’s visit tho?). 2nd reason is there’s copycat Ultraman who also looks like Jack Nicholson, then there’s the edgy middle-school bully like relationship between Megalon and Gigan and then lastly the infamous Godzilla dropkick you might’ve seen in GIF form, if not well here you go:

16. Godzilla Vs. Monster Zero - probably the 1st 90% campy zilla flick because of the Godzilla victory dance alone, but this was also because as time went by more kids cared about the movies and not the original target audience of war torn adults. the aliens (at least in the dub version) speak super monotone even when they are being huge bad asses, and we get to see G and his on-and-off lover buddy team up again but this time IN #&$%#% SPACE. the setting on Planet X was real cool to see as a kid, but sadly we haven’t seen any kaiju fighting back in space ever since. the NES Godzilla game fixes that itch.

17. Son of Godzilla - well I’ve only ever seen this movie twice, which means it maybe just isn’t that good, even for G fans. it debuts, of course, the son of Godzilla who looks like a cross between the Cookie Monster and Michelin Man. I’ll give this movie credit for distancing zilla away from the city setting in replace with his tropical home territory in Monster Island which only gets glimpses in the other films. the ending shot is real sweet too.

18. Godzilla Vs. SpaceGodzilla - back to spaciness, we do see one last alien monster come to Japan in the 2nd to last 90′s Godzilla movie, appropriately called SpaceGodzilla. while he lacks agility (when not flying on his giant meth crystal) he makes up for it with telekinesis and other long range attacks. the story / acting / mostly everything is pretty so-so and we all know deep inside the only reasons to watch it still are the scenes with baby Godzilla stepping on land mines and more Miki Saegusa wardrobe changes, but the final battle in a crystal filled Fukuoka is really awesome. 

19. Godzilla’s Revenge - wow well I just noticed I put 3 baby zilla focused movies all in a row near the very bottom of the list, my bad. this one takes the cake tho for pure cringe. but it’s better than the last 3 so it can’t be super terrible, right? once again no spoilers but the only thing that bumps this stock footage filled movie more up then from being the worst of all time are the super silly fight scenes against baby Godzilla’s bully Gabara. you know Godzilla has to do it to em.

20. Godzilla Vs. The Sea Monster - even tho the former movie just reviewed uses stock footage of almost all the fight scenes of this one, it is somehow worst than #19 because it focuses way too much on a 60′s party cruise, and Godzilla gets a lil King Kong-ish during a scene with the love interest of the movie, and the giant lobster monster with no lasers / projectile claws just doesn’t seem as threatening as all the previous monsters zilla has fought since.

21. Godzilla Vs. King Kong - I’ll admit, I never liked King Kong and probably never will, and because he moves faster than Godzilla they had to use non-slowed down footage to make the monsters fight like kids on a playground slapping each other, and just looks weird. real talk, Godzilla would beat the shit out of Kong with a single radioactive blast and the movie would end right there. but that’s not the ending we got.. let’s start a patreon to rewrite the movie we all wanted.

22. Godzilla Raids Again - alright we finally made it, thee very worst Godzilla movie of all time according to the loser typing this. why? because it went against everything the first Godzilla movie represented, but like... suddenly, since it’s the sequel to the movie and the big G was never meant to return after, which luckily wasn’t the case. it’s superrrr campy but on the acting side, and the fights with newcomer Anguirus are super sped up even more than the Kong fights, and just seems tacky overall in a non-funny way. the suit for Anguirus is honestly one of the coolest kaijus ever tho, and they made little changes to him every time he came back cause it was just that good. 

anyways, thanks for coming to my TED Talk. if I were to recommend just 3 Godzilla movies to someone who has never seen them before to represent each side of the series, I’d pick Terror of MechaGodzilla for the serious pick, Ghidorah The Three Headed Monster for the balance / kaiju fest pick, and Godzilla Vs. Megalon for the most campy and fun one overall. hope this big list can help those who are curious! next up: Godzilla game reviews :)

#feel free to delete caption #godzilla #kaiju #long post #japan #tokusatsu #review #text #had to show some love to a big part of my childhood #mothra

[chongoblog]

Hey I know that you all see me as the Grand Authority on Movie Opinions in that I am correct and can never be wrong and also my opinion on things is NEVER unsolicited because I’m literally the most important person on the internet and you CRAVE my opinions.

So I saw Shazam last night and I’m gonna talk about it under this readmore because I dunno how long it’s gonna be and I respect y’all’s dashes like that (plus if y’all don’t care abt what I thought then you can keep scrolling). There will be spoilers but I will clearly mark them.

So I’ve been thinking to myself on whether or not Shazam was the best DCEU movie. All things considered, it didn’t have too high of a bar to leap over, seeing how Wonder Woman, which was originally my favorite, had a lot of incredible moments, but was bogged down by a few of the scenes around those moments and a frankly terrible final act. And if I were to put it into numbers, (which people seem to love) I’d put Wonder Woman at about 50% INCREDIBLE 20% ehhhh and 30% GOD WHY, plus add a few bonus points for being so inspiring within its social context as a female-led superhero movie that isn’t terrible, sexualized or both. Shazam, on the other hand, doesn’t get those bonus points of social context, but has about a 60% Pretty Good and 40% ehhhh with one small bonus point for having one scene that personally hit me pretty hard that I’ll talk about later. It doesn’t reach any of the LOWS that any other film in the DCEU had, but at the same time, it didn’t really hit any of the highs either.

Something that’s worth addressing is that as someone who likes to partake in any and all drama because I’m a gremlin who loves seeing complaining, I saw plenty of DC fans complain that this movie was falling into a sort of trap set up saying “ITS ONLY BEING LIGHTHEARTED BECAUSE IT THINKS THAT IT HAS TO BE MORE LIKE MARVEL AND THATS WHY MORE PEOPLE LIKE IT” and I do want to address that because it’s a stupid argument. While Shazam is a departure from the DCEU’s more serious tone thus far, it’s not a black and white deal. DC isn’t strictly defined by being “the more serious Marvel” or vice versa. Being lighthearted did help Shazam out, not BECAUSE it was more like a Marvel movie, but because unlike movies like Batman v Superman, it didn’t try (and fail) to tackle more complex themes and down to earth schemes that made it lose focus and become an enormous mess. That being said, Shazam’s schemes and themes were much simpler, and it made for a much SMALLER mess if/when it did lose focus.

Before I dive into the spoilers, I’ll give my two cents on the film as a whole. Like I mentioned, the light-hearted tone did help out the movie, and it took itself a little less seriously with things while still balancing out some emotion in the story, and the whole theme behind it, while not PERFECTLY drawn out, still had a coherent message behind it. Visually, the movie was definitely trying to break out of the Zack Snyder mold that had been set up back with Man Of Steel, and while it still chills out in Low Saturation City a lot of the time, it IS doing a better job. Zachary Levi definitely deserves a shoutout in this movie for probably being the second best actor in the DCEU closely behind Gal Gadot in terms of casting choices, perfectly encapsulating the idea of Shazam, and pulling off the role of a Big Billy Batson, however he seems to have taken away the acting talent from half of the rest of the cast, because some of the acting in this movie is.....not great. And that’s not counting the child actors who did alright considering they’re child actors (Freddy in particular was fantastic).

The dialogue in this is pretty solid and indicative of the situation, and they really tried to lean into the idea that it’s some middle school (or early high I cant really remember) kid who just got these powers, and they do a pretty good job of that in both the dialogue and in the first half of the movie. And like I mentioned, there is a bit of Emotion in this movie that they really tried to deliver and they did a pretty good job delivering it. That being said, it’s very clear that they’re going for a kinda cheesy sort of vibe. Which makes sense, since the concept is Kid Becomes Superhero, which is ripe for picking like some kind of Cheese Tree....orchard.....thing.....and it leads to just a fun experience. It’s something that knows it shouldn’t be taken too seriously, which is why I’m writing an incredibly long analytical review of it, because I’m a curmudgeon like that.

ALRIGHT SPOILER TIME SCROLL DOWN TO THE VERY BOTTOM IF YOU DONT WANNA GET SPOILED

Lol alright so this spoiler section is gonna have a lot of negative points, so let me start with some positives.

The overall theme of this movie is sort of an idea of Found Family (which I’m an absolute sucker for), and there’s a subplot that follows this idea where Billy is looking for his mom. The movie starts showing a flashback where Billy’s mom gives him a compass saying “it’ll always help you find your way home” and then very shortly afterward, Billy gets himself seperated from his mother and had to be put into foster care and is now searching for his mother by looking everywhere he can to the point it causes him to run away multiple times. It’s not too surprising how this ends, with him finding his mother, only to find out that she just didn’t pick him up because she was 17 at the time and felt she COULDN’T take care of him. And that’s the point when he realizes “maybe my REAL family were the kids in the foster home all along”. Billy Batson sees that his birth mother’s life is tumultuous, taking on new lovers, working part time jobs, and not having time to even consider caring for Billy, moreso just hoping he turned out alright. Billy, as a sort of symbolic gesture, hands his mother the compass saying “you’ll need this more than me”. And then she replies with two words that just killed me for some reason.

“What’s this?”

I don’t know. It was a line that hit me. Kinda reflecting that sort of disconnect. Alright enough being nice, let’s talk things that are Alright but could be better.

The villain was alright. His character was pretty fun at the beginning, but after he got revenge on his father for Toxic Masculinity™ he became pretty boring, acting more like a CGI Monster Vending Machine. Of course it kinda leads into the whole Cheesy vibe they were going for, but it’s hard to make your movie seem like it’s gonna be campy and cheesy when your villain doesn’t really fall into the role once he actually fights the hero (also with the color palette). Just wish they would’ve sorta gone full Sam Raimi and just leaned into the campiness, with this movie kinda afraid to jump into the pool past its bathing suit.

And then there was the climax of the movie in the carnival, where I felt like it went a little bit downhill, not really being the best that it could be, but still pretty serviceable. The director seemed to be REALLY into using slo-mo, using it a little more than necessary to the point of being distracting, and while the Shazam concept was used in a few fun creative ways, there were some moments where it could have had more utility, or one moment in particular when he absolutely needed to change back and probably had time to say “Shazam” like twenty times over, but he didn’t, which was a LITTLE frustrating, but that’s way more nitpicky. Speaking of nitpicks, there were a few shots that were.....questionable (most notably the Santa.....moment? It seemed to be a clear funny moment, but it didn’t really land and didn’t flow either)

And also the climax has a bit of a fun twist moment that helps round out the Found Family moment where all of Billy’s adopted family also become superheroes, which is pretty sweet, but there was one SMALL nitpick that doesn’t overwhelmingly detract from anything but I found strange. Every character had a power, with one person showing the super strength, another showing super speed, another with lightning, another with flying, which were Shazam’s powers. And then Mary was there....and we don’t really get to see her powers? I did research and apparently she’s a character in the comics with all the powers of Shazam, but Mary was one of the only other characters with an arc and we don’t get to see her with any powers, which is a bit weird (we also don’t get to see her arc formally conclude. We can draw conclusions but still). So in the end it looks like Mary essentially kinda got Kairi’d. Oof.

But that’s really it for spoilers, in terms of the “bad” it’s really just that it didn’t really give it enough of an impact and while it knew what it wanted to be and isn’t disingenuous about it, it also doesn’t really commit to BEING what it wants to be.

ALRIGHT SPOILERS ARE ALL DONE YOU CAN LOOK NOW HERES MY BOTTOM LINE

Bottom line is that this movie is definitely flawed, and after consideration I don’t think I’d put it at the top of the DCEU, if only because Wonder Woman reached higher points than this one did, but that shouldn’t be a slight against Shazam at all. Heck, I would consider putting it a little bit above Captain Marvel if we’re inevitably comparing rivals.

So all in all I give it a Shazam/10. A good fun time. Not the BEST movie you’ll see this year, but you’re there to have a good time and you’ll have it.

#reviews i guess #dang im really just writing a review #ah well #shazam #dceu

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #388

Top Ten Things Tim Burton’s Batman Films Did Right

Thirty years ago, give or take, the first Tim Burton Batman movie was released in cinemas (according to Google, its UK release date was 11th August 1989). Everyone knows the story; it was a phenomenon, a marketing juggernaut, a hit probably beyond what anyone was reasonably expecting. I was too young to understand or appreciate what was going on, but for twenty years or more the image of Batman in the public consciousness was intertwined with Adam West and pop-art frivolity. Suddenly superheroes were “dark” and “grown-up”; suddenly we had multi-million-dollar-grossing properties, franchises, and studios rummaging through their back catalogues of acquired IPs to land the next four-quadrant hit. Throughout the rest of the nineties we got a slew of pulp comic adaptations – The Spirit, The Phantom, Dick Tracy – before the tangled web of Marvel licenses became slightly easier to unpick, and we segued into the millennium on the backs of Blade, X-Men, and Spider-Man. Flash-forward to a super-successful Batman reboot, then we hit the MCU with Iron Man, and we all know where that goes. And it all began with Batman!

Except, of course, that’s not quite the whole story. Studios were trying to adapt superheroes and comic books for a number of years, not least because Richard Donner’s Superman had been such a huge hit a decade before Batman. And the Batman films themselves began to deteriorate in quality pretty rapidly. Plus, when viewed from the distance of a couple of decades or more, the supposed dark, gritty, adult storytelling in Burton’s films quickly evaporates. They’re just as camp, silly, and nonsensical as the 1960s show, they’re just visually darker and with more dry ice. Characters strut around in PVC bodysuits; the plots make little to no sense; characterisation is secondary to archetype; and Batman himself is quite divorced from his comic incarnation, killing enemies often capriciously and being much less of a martial artist or detective than he appeared on the page (in fact, Adam West’s Batman does a lot more old-school deducing than any of the cinematic Batmen).

I think a lot of people of my generation, who grew up with Adam West, went through a period of disowning the series because it was light, bright, campy and, essentially, for children; then we grow up and appreciate it all the more for being those things, and also for being a pure and delightful distillation of one aspect of the comics (seriously, there’s nothing in the series that’s not plausibly from a 1950s Batman comic). And I think the same is true of Burton’s films. for all their importance in terms of “legitimising” superhero movies, they have come in for a lot of legitimate criticism, and in the aftermath of Christopher Nolan’s superlative trilogy they began to look very old-fashioned and a much poorer representation of the character. But then, again, we all grow up a little bit and can look back on them as a version of Batman that’s just as valid; they don’t have to be perfect, they don’t have to be definitive, but we can enjoy them for what they are: macabre delights, camp gothic comedies, delightfully stylised adventure stories. They might lack the visual pizazz of a Nolan fight scene or, well, anything in any MCU movie, but they’re very much of a type, even if that type was aped, imitated, and parodied for a full decade following Batman’s release. There’s much to love about Burton’s two bites of the Bat-cherry, and here – at last – I will list my ten favourite aspects of the films (that’s both films, Batman and Batman Returns).

Tim Burton’s Batman isn’t quite my Batman (but, for the record, neither is Christopher Nolan’s), but whatever other criticisms I may have of the films, here are ten things that Burton and his collaborators got absolutely right.

Great Design: seriously, from an aesthetic point of view, they’re gorgeous. The beautiful Anton Furst Gotham, all gothic towers and industrial pipework, is a thing of beauty, and in terms of live-action the design of all of Batman’s vehicles and gadgets has never been bettered. It gives Batman, and his world, a gorgeously distinctive style all its own.

Wonderful Toys: it’s not just the design of the Batmobile and Batwing that impresses (big, bulbous round bits, sweeping curves, spiky wings); its how they’re used. Burton really revels in the gadgets, making Batman a serious tech-head with all manner of grappling hooks, hidden bombs, and secret doo-dahs to give him an upper hand in a fight. It makes up for the wooden combat (a ninja Michael Keaton is not), suggesting this Batman is a smarter fighter than a physical one. Plus all those gadgets could get turned into literal wonderful toys. Ker-ching.

He is the Night: Adam West’s Batman ran around during the day, in light grey spandex with a bright blue cape. Michael Keaton’s Batman only ever came out at night, dressed entirely in thick black body armour, and usually managed to be enveloped in smoke. From his first appearance, beating up two muggers on a Gotham rooftop, he is a threatening, scary, sinister presence. It totally sold the idea of Batman as part-urban legend, part-monster. Burton is fascinated with freaks, and in making his Batman freaky, he made him iconic.

You Wanna Get Nuts?: added to this was Michael Keaton’s performance as Bruce Wayne. Controversial casting due to his comedy background and, frankly, lack of an intimidating physique, he nevertheless utterly convinced. Grimly robotic as Batman, he presented a charming but secretive Bruce Wayne, one who was kind and heartfelt in private, but also serious, determined, and very, very smart. But he also excellently portrayed a dark anger beneath the surface, a mania that Bruce clearly had under control, but which he used to fuel his campaign, and which he allowed out in the divisive but (in my opinion) utterly brilliant “Let’s get nuts!” scene. To this date, the definitive screen Bruce Wayne.

Dance with the Devil: The counterpoint to this was Jack Nicholson’s Joker. Cashing a phenomenal cheque for his troubles, he nevertheless delivered; his Joker is wild, over-the-top, cartoonish but also terrifying. In my late teens I was turned off by the performance, feeling it a pantomime and not reflective of the quiet menace and casual cruelty of, say, Mark Hamill’s Joker; but now I see the majesty of it. You need someone this big to be a believable threat to Batman. No wonder that, with Joker dead, they essentially had to have three villains to replace him in the sequel.

Family: Bruce’s relationship with Alfred is one of the cornerstones of the comic, but really only existed in that capacity since the mid-80s and Year One (which established Alfred as having raised Bruce following his parents’ deaths). So in many ways the very close familial relationship in Batman is a watershed, and certainly the first time many people would have seen that depicted. Michael Gough’s Alfred is benign, charming, very witty, and utterly capable as a co-conspirator. One of the few people to stick around through the Schumacher years, he maintained stability even when everything else was going (rubber) tits up.

Meow: I’ve mostly focussed on Batman here, but by jeebies Batman Returns has a lot going for it too. Max Shreck, the Penguin, “mistletoe is deadly if you eat it”… but pride of place goes to Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. An utterly bonkers origin but a perfectly pitched character, she was a credible threat, a believable love interest, and an anti-hero worth rooting for, in a tour-de-force performance. Also came along at just the right time for me to experience puberty. If you’re interested. Plus – and this can’t be overstated – she put a live bird into her mouth. For real. I mean, Christ.

Believably Unreal: I used to criticise Batman for being unrealistic, just as campy in its own way as the ‘60s show. But that’s missing the point. It’s a stylised world, clearly not our own thanks to the Furst-stylings. And Burton uses that to his advantage. The gothic stylings help sell the idea of a retro-futuristic rocket-car barrelling through city streets; the mishmash of 80s technology and 40s aesthetics gives us carte blanche for a zoot-suited Joker and his tracksuited henchmen to tear up a museum to a Prince soundtrack. It’s a world where Max Shreck, looking like Christopher Walken was electrocuted in a flour factory, can believably run a campaign to get Penguin elected mayor, even after he nearly bites someone’s nose off. It’s crazy but it works.

Believably Corrupt: despite the craziness and unreality, the first Batman at least does have a strong dose of realism running through it. The gangsters may be straight out of the 40s but they’ve adopted the gritty grimness of the intervening decades, with slobby cop Eckhart representing corrupt law enforcement. Basically, despite the surrealism on display, the sense of Gotham as a criminal cesspool is very well realised, and extends to such a high level that the only realistic way to combat any of it is for a sad rich man to dress up as Dracula and drive a rocket-car at a clown.

The Score: I’ve saved this for last because, despite everything, Danny Elfman’s Batman theme is clearly the greatest and strongest legacy of the Burton era. Don’t come at me with your “dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-Batman” nonsense. Elfman’s Batman score is sublime. Like John Williams’ Superman theme, it’s iconic, it’s distinctive, and as far as I’m concerned it’s what the character should sound like. I have absolutely no time for directors who think you should ever make a Batman film with different music. It’s as intrinsically linked with the character as the Star Wars theme is with, well, Star Wars. It’s perfect and beautiful and the love-love-love the fact that they stuck it in the Animated Series too.

Whelp, there we are. The ten best things about Burton’s two Batman movies. I barely spoke about the subsequent films because, well, they’re both crap. No, seriously, they’re bad films. Even Batman Forever. Don’t start.

#top ten #batman #1989 #tim burton #Michael Keaton #batman returns #comics #movies

[brundleflyforawhiteguy]

I’m coming to you because you always seem to have an educated response. I feel like rocky horror doesn’t get the love that or should from B horror/sci-fi movie fans. It’s actually a really fun&wildly creative movie w/ a weird fun history. But the fan base that surrounds the film is for lack of better terms, off putting. In my experience it is never viewed as a simply a movie but a movie with SO MUCH BAGGAGE! Shadow cast, callbacks, props etc. I feel it could be considered a top 70s horror film..

Okay, I actually have a deeply personal connection to Rocky Horror. My wife has been part of a shadow cast for the past five years now. I’ve seen the movie dozens of times at this point, if not more. I think it’s a hugely important cultural milestone. It’s one of the iconic movies of its decade. I do see a bit of dismissiveness toward it from genre fans these days, it’s true, usually because they have something else that they love that they feel should have reached that level of cult status instead. 

But I’ve never really understood the notion of being a fan of this stuff and at least not respecting the Rocky Horror Picture Show because the movie is a pure, genuine love letter to the gothic mad scientist flicks of the ‘40s and the atomic age alien invasion movies of the ‘50s. Right from “Science Fiction Double Feature,” that love is made clear as that song is literally a pastiche of classic-era B-Movie references. 

Rocky Horror is a genuinely smart satire that’s just as campy and goofy as it needs to be. It’s taking all these tropes of classic B-Movies, digging through them to look at the subtext underneath, and then flipping that subtext on its head and exploiting it. 

The gothic Universal movies and ‘50s monster movies were always about outsiders, always about people on the fringe, but they were sort of forced to condemn that, and they were extremely sexually repressed. Rocky Horror flips that on its head, so that these previously conservative ideas and themes are completely reworked through a sexually charged and sexually fluid lens. 

I also just personally love that Rocky Horror Picture Show is, in itself, a science fiction double feature, just as the song suggests. While it has one overall narrative, it’s almost like two movies very subtly split down the middle. The first half is a completely different film than the second, in many ways, being much more of that classic gothic mad scientist story, whereas the second half flips everything into being a pure camp ‘50s era alien invasion flick. It’s just like going to the Drive-In and seeing a double feature of something like The Old Dark House and Plan 9 From Outer Space. 

On a deeper note, I’ve honestly seen more people of so many different backgrounds across all ages--from their 20s into their 60s--say that Rocky Horror saved their lives. People continue to see something in this movie that allows them to celebrate who they are, always. It’s a film that allows people to find a sense of community. You can feel alone, you can feel like a weirdo. You dress differently. You listen to different music. You don’t like the same people, sometimes even the same kind of people that your friends like. 

And you feel alone until you see people piling into a movie theater dressed just like you. It’s a very powerful thing. It absolutely deserves that iconic status, not just for what the movie is, but what it has meant to so many people over the past four decades.  Whether people are into the movie itself or not, I absolutely believe The Rocky Horror Picture Show deserves respect, because it is a movie that not only brings people together, but brings together people who often feel completely alone and both allows them and encourages them to celebrate each and every one of the things that makes them different and wear those things as a badge of pride.

[stephenjaymorrisblog]

It’s the Same Old Déjà Vu

(But With a Different Meaning)

Stephen Jay Morris

11/24/2021

©Scientific Morality

The 1950s—I vaguely remember that decade. My life stopped at the end of my hands. From what I’ve read, it was the time when Elvis was the King of Rock & Roll, Marilyn Monroe was the American Aphrodite, and Joseph McCarthy was looking for Communists under every bed. Doctors were smoking cigarettes in front of their patients. Comic books were corrupting American youth. Beatniks were at coffee houses, wailing poems of doom, and we all were terrified of the Atom bomb. Eisenhower was President. We liked Ike. I am reminded of him whenever Joe Biden emotes during a speech. The John Birch Society accused Eisenhower of being a communist. Well, at least the Birch Society members wore suits and ties, and they spread propaganda that sounded a lot more believable than that of today’s conspiracy nut burgers, “Qanon.” In the 50s, LGBT+ people were all considered child molesting perverts. Now, it’s primarily the Transgender youth. According to historical journalists, the only thing I liked about the 50s were the “I Love Lucy” T.V. show, the Beat movement, Rock and Roll, and the advent of Playboy Magazine. Everybody smoked and dressed in formal clothes. “Family Values” applied only to white families, as portrayed in T.V. sitcoms like “Leave It to Beaver.” Popular movies featured either monsters or campy sex comedies. Conservatives were the creators of “cancel culture.” Many actors had to go underground because they or someone they knew went to a Communist Party meeting in their past.

Do you any see any similarities between then and now?

Whenever I hear Biden speak, I hear the histrionic oratory of President Truman and the rhetoric of Eisenhower. The 2000s has been like a mixture of the late 50s and the 1960s. I am so glad I’ve lived long enough to have seen the tables turn. In the 60s, when the Civil Rights movement turned into the Anti-War movement, the Right wing was regarded as the “bosses” and self-styled patriots—the “Establishment.” They created the conglomerate corporate system. Big tech corporations like IBM were loved by the Republican Party. Universities were controlled by suit-and-tie, conservative, white men. Republican women were told to shut up; “Fetch me a cocktail and light up my cigarette, little girl!” Women were demeaningly referred to as girls. Well, today is not a carbon copy of that era, but as I said, there are similarities.

During the 60s and 70s, we were the rebels. We had confrontations with the cops. We surrounded the Pentagon in ‘67 and, in ‘68, we fought a war on the streets of Chicago. There was the Chicago conspiracy trial in 1970. On May 3 of that year, National Guard troops killed four students on the Kent State campus. Then, on May 15, two students were killed and 15 people were injured at Jackson University. All the polls were against the new Left; America didn’t like what the protesting students were doing. A lot of opinions were viewed as extreme. Some even said that the National Guard should have killed more students! A lot of opinions about Jackson State were much more brutal. One “man-on-the-street” interviewee said, “Who cares about the niggers at Jackson state? Every time you kill a nigger, the crime rate goes down!” Yeah, we were the dregs of society and stooges for Communist Russia. That was then, and here comes now. “Bing!”

I now drink from the glass of sweet Schadenfreude. I don’t know if this is Karma or a fluke in the Universe. The militant, white, Right wing is getting the same treatment we got during the days of yore. Militia and Nazi groups are getting thrown into dirty jails—just like we were. When they commandeered the Nation’s Capitol this year, I was rooting for police brutality on January 6. You notice only white men were vandalizing the building while white women were taking photos. It was also funny how the Gen X rioters had long hair and beards. I guess this was the redeeming, militant moment in their useless lives since, during the 80s, all they did was attack the previous generation, the “Boomers.”

Years from now, the White wingers are going to talk about the 2000s like it was their moment in the sun; kind of like how Boomers like me talk about the late 60s and early 70s. The Alt Right think they are Anti-Establishment. No, Fucko! You are the street thugs working for the church and the corporate state. In your stupid, brainwashed head, filled with thoughts put in there by Qanon, you are really in the deep state of confusion and stupidity! You are working for the Establishment. But, don’t feel bad—the John Birch Society claimed we were working for the One World Order, also known as “Globalism.”

You are going to be ignored for the rest of your lives and you’ll suffer the way the New Left did. We never got any medals or recognition for our acts of rebellion. Guess what, dip shit—neither will you! It’s a shame you ripped off radical tactics from the Left. You are the losers now. After you get out of jail in 10 or 20 years, you’ll remove the “no” from “No Regrets” in your tattoo. It will read, “REGRETS 20/20.”

#january 6th #stephenjaymorris #poets on tumblr #poets of tumblr #baby boomers #american politics #anarchism #socialogy