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hauntedbythefanficsofmypast · 3 years

Text

The Different Group Chats part 1

{Part 1} [Part 2]

Diamonds:

BlueDiamond- Marinette

BrownDiamond- Mireille

GreenDiamond- Marc

Cheng Main Family:

MamaOrso- Sabine

TopChef- Wang

Matriarch- Nuba (Their Grandmother)

Heiress- Lian (Marc’s mother)

Tiāncái- Mei (Mireille’s mother)

Adrinette/Girls GC:

PinkBean- Rose

PurpleBean- Juleka

BossFox-Alya

TrueBeauty-Lila

WhyAmIHere- Alix

LoveBug- Mylene

A group chat AU I thought of this will involve only the Miraculous Ladybug show, with very minor mentions of other shows. Some backstory information I feel are important. Marinette, Marc, and Mireille are cousins in this through their mothers; Sabine, Lian, and Mei. Marinette is Chinese, Italian, and French, Marc is Chinese and French, and Mireille is Chinese, Japanese, and French. This is not Adrinette, I decided to give Lukanette some love!

Diamonds

10:46 am

BlueDiamond: Do you think I could get away with it?

GreenDiamond:????

GreenDiamond: Mar? Get away with what?

BrownDiamond: Depends. Are you doing it by yourself, with us, or are you going to call Bāchan’s right hand?

GreenDiamond: Mir? Wait why would Mar call Fengge?

11:07 am

GreenDiamond: Hey! You two respond already!

BrownDiamond: Calm cousin, calm. Mar is contemplating taking care of Lila Rossi, you know the girl that threatened her in the bathroom.

GreenDiamond: Oh.

GreenDiamond: WAIT!!!1!

GreenDiamond: No fair! She can’t call Fengge I called dibs on ruining Rossi!

BrownDiamond: Mar gets the final decision, after all she is the one being targeted.

BlueDiamond: I am not calling Fengge, I don’t want her dead, I just want to ruin her future. Besides Fengge would call Nonna, and I’d rather not take the chance of us being pulled out of school.

BrownDiamond: Very true, but I doubt Bāchan would pull us out. Lila is only a minor threat and she knows we can definitely handle her. If the snake goes too far however, she will step in.

GreenDiamond: Tru…

BrownDiamond: Stop butchering words or else.

GreenDiamond: Common little cuz be traught.

*BrownDiamond took a Screenshot of chat*

BrownDiamond: I am showing my Kachann.

BlueDiamond: She did warn you.

GreenDiamond: D’: NooOo dont message auntie!!!1!!

BrownDiamond: Already sent.

GreenDiamond: You hate me.

Cheng Main Family

11:38 am

Tiàncái: First, return to your lessons. Second, Marc the penthouse at 4 exact. After reading those texts I’ve decided you need a two hour lesson.

BrownDiamond: Yes Kachann.

BlueDiamond: Sorry Auntie.

GreenDiamond:Understood Auntie.

TopChef: How bad was it?

Tiàncái: Worse than you fake butchering other languages to mess with others.

MamaOrso- My Marinette was not a part of it correct?

Tiàncái- No just our nephew sister.

Heiress- Why am I not surprised, at least he is only doing it with his cousins.

Matriarch- My Diamonds know that they are not allowed to butcher languages like their Great Uncle in front of others. I would not worry too much, my darlings. Now all of you return to work. I have a meeting to attend.

MamaOrso- Yes Māmā

Tiàncái- Understood, have a good meeting.

Heiress- I will see you later Māmā.

TopChef-Talk to you all later my girls.

Diamonds

1:13 pm

BlueDiamond: Juleka and Rose are sitting with me in the back now.

BrownDiamond: Oh?

BlueDiamond: Yes they came up and apologized to me during lunch. They both asked for a chance to earn my trust again.

GreenDiamond: And your decision Mar?

BlueDiamond: I am giving them a second chance, both apologized and explained why they didn’t choose sides. No information about Lila too, she is making big promises. For instance she told Kitty Section she’d introduce them to Jagged Stone.

BrownDiamond:...Isn’t Juleka Jagged’s daughter?

BlueDiamond: Yes.

BrownDiamond: Oh no.

BlueDiamond: What?

GreenDiamond: This is Miss Mendeleiev both of you return to your lessons and put your phones away.

1:28 pm

BrownDiamond: Nice job Marc, next time control your laughter.

BlueDiamond: Really?

2:49 pm

BlueDiamond: Mir go out for ice cream? We can go find André.

BrownDiamond: Well I don’t have to be in the studio today and was only planning to hang out with friends. Can we invite some others?

BlueDiamond: Oh definitely! I’ll ask Rose, Juleka, and Luka!

BrownDiamond: I am just going to invite Aurore and Jean.

BlueDiamond: Hoping to get complimentary cones cousin dearest?

BrownDiamond: Shut up I just like his face.

BlueDiamond: Don’t you lie to me. You have attended every single magical show he has done, and even promoted him once on MAC’s Twitter.

BrownDiamond: Shut up, your one to talk Mar. Who do you have a crush on, Model boy or Guitar boy?

3:10 pm

BrownDiamond: Mar?

BrownDiamond: Did I upset you?

BrownDiamond: Marinette?

BlueDiamond: Sorry

BlueDiamond: No you did not upset me. Lila pointed out I was texting and Bustier started lecturing me on being a good role model.

BrownDiamond: Sorry, my locker in five?

BlueDiamond: Mhm, see you soon.

GreenDiamond: I got my phone back!

GreenDiamond: Unfair! You guys can’t get ice cream while I’m stuck in lessons!

BlueDiamond: [Image.png]

GreenDiamond: Why’d you send me a picture of you and Mir looking around???

BrownDiamond: Trying to find the fucks we give…

GreenDiamond: ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

BlueDiamond: Ew. Stop.

GreenDiamond:༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

BlueDiamond: Ugh.

Private Messaging

Nathaniel and Marc

3:11 pm

LifePartner: Marc can we talk today? It’s about Marinette.

Rainbow: …

Rainbow: I have a two hour lesson starting at four. Meet me on the Pont Des Arts at 6:30.

LifePartner: I’ll be there Rainbow, see you later.

Diamonds

4:20 pm

BrownDiamond: Not.A.Word.

BlueDiamond: Burnt caramel for his eyes, and cotton candy for his unique tricks~ Blackberry for her beautiful hair, and black walnut for her unusual connections.

BrownDiamond: One, perhaps we should be concerned with what André seems to know about us.

BrownDiamond: Two, Blue moon for his hair and eyes, and super madness for his crazy life, Blackberry for her hair and cherry with chips for her secret.

BlueDiamond: Mmm André is a meta I wouldn’t worry his love is ice cream and bringing soulmates together.

BlueDiamond: Luka has confessed to me though, I told him I wasn’t ready.

BrownDiamond: Still stuck on Adrien?

BlueDiamond: No

BlueDiamond: I thought he’d take my side when he said that we were in it together. The moment he didn’t speak up when I was expelled pretty much made that crush, crash.

BlueDiamond: He is sweet but he has been too sheltered, he is trying to treat Lila like she is a tabloid.

BrownDiamond: You are not wrong. So...Luka?

BlueDiamond: Yea, I’m thinking Luka.

Private Messaging

Jagged and Luka

4:24 pm

Luka: Dad how did you get Penny to fall in love with you?

Jagged: I ask myself that every single day kiddo. Every single day.

Luka: I’m screwed.

Jagged: Marinette?

Luka: Marinette.

Jagged: Penny says to just be yourself! My rockstar Mari is a smart girl and her crush on the Agreste boy has slowly disappeared...yes it would be very rock an roll to have her as a daughter-in-law. That’s it Luka! You have to win Marinette’s heart over!

Luka: You’re not helping Dad.

Private Messaging

Penny and Luka

4:47 pm

Penny: Stop asking him Luka.

Penny: Just be yourself, Marinette would never want you to change yourself. Give her a little more time and just be there for her.

Luka: Thanks Penny, how did Dad win you over anyway?

Penny: ...I have a thing for loud sometimes idiotic men.

Luka: Awe, I am never telling him that.

Penny: I’m joking, I’m joking one night he rolled over and was just barely awake. He didn’t know I was awake, he whispered that I was the love of his life and that he wished his mom had a chance to meet me.

Luka: Awe. I’m telling Marinette that.

Penny: Oh, definitely would get you brownie points, she loves sweet love stories.

Adrinette

6:39 pm

Group name changed from Adrinette to Girls GC

Lila Rossi added by BossFox

BossFox changed Lila Rossi to TrueBeauty

BossFox: Hey girls I decided to make this the drama free girls group chat.

PurpleBean: Drama free???

PinkBean: Why not create a new group chat than Alya? Also if this is the girls group chat where is Marinette?

BunnxXx changed name to WhyAmIHere

BossFox: Like I said drama free girls

TrueBeauty: Awe Alya! You added me to a group chat where I don’t have to worry about upsetting Marinette!

TrueBeauty: That’s so sweet!!

WhyAmIHere: Alya this is our get Mari with Sunshine boy gc.

TrueBeauty: Alya you haven’t told them yet?

BossFox: Don’t worry Lila I just wanted you to be here when I did!

BossFox: Girls we are canceling Adrinette.

LoveBug: What? Why?

BossFox: I was telling Lila about all our attempts and how ‘in love’ with Adrien Marinette is. Well Lila pointed out that everything she is doing are red flags for a stalker!

LoveBug: What?! But Marinette would never!

PinkBean: Are you serious?

WhyAmIHere: Oh boy.

TureBeauty: No listen please, I’m not lying!

TrueBeauty: Alya told me everything she has done! She has his entire schedule, pictures of him all over her wall, one he doesn’t even know exist! She has stolen his phone before and is constantly trying to get alone time with him! Not to mention she has planned out their life with two kids and a hamster!

TureBeauty: She is stalking Adrien and convinced you guys to help her!

LoveBug: Oh my gosh

LoveBug: I can’t believe

LoveBuv: All this time Marinette has been

WhyAmIHere: Alright ya-no I’m so done.

WhyAmIHere: First of Marinette HAD a crush on Adrien. One that you blew out of proportion Alya.

BossFox: What?!

BossFox: I did not!

WhyAmIHere: You were constantly trying to force her into telling Adrien when she clearly wasn’t ready, and always dragging us into helping set up ‘dates’

WhyAmIHere: Two Marinette is a fashion designer. Have you seriously never noticed all the pictures are right above when she works on designs? They are a part of her fashion board Alya.

WhyAmIHere: Also the part with the phone, I’m hello? Marinette has always been like that, she does it when she’s half asleep most of the time. But in the end she always returns the person's phone before the end of the day!

WhyAmIHere: Also we have all seen those photos, if Marinette was seriously stalking him don’t you think the pictures would be inappropriate? They are either from magazines or from class outings.

LoveBug: Alix you have to admit it is a little weird that Marinette has gone this far

LoveBug: Lila is a model too and she knows so many famous people. I have no doubt she knows more about stalking than we do.

WhyAmIHere: srs.

TrueBeauty: Alix you have to listen to me! Marinette is sick and she needs help or else she’ll be a danger to Adrien and us!

WhyAmIHere: No. I’m done. Marinette is just a teenager with a CRUSH and you are just blowing it out of proportion.

Alix Kubdel has left Girls GC.

TrueBeauty: Rose Juleka you believe us right?

TrueBeauty: Please Mari really needs help!

PinkBean: No we don’t…

BossFox: WHAT!?

PurpleBean: We don’t believe you. Besides, Marinette barely has a crush on Adrien anymore. I’d ask if you’ve seen her room but she stopped inviting you up Alya.

PinkBean: And she doesn’t like Lila so Lila has never even seen her room.

BossFox: It isn’t like you guys would actually know anything! Just after school today Marinette threatened Lila to stay away from Adrien! And she got physical!

LoveBug: oh gosh! Lila are you okay?

TrueBeauty: Alya! I didn’t want anyone to know!

BossFox: But they need to know Lila especially since they keep siding with her!

PinkBean: Really?

PinkBean: When after school?

TrueBeauty: She attacked me around 4 today!

PurpleBean: oh rlly?

PinkBean: That doesn’t make sense though because Marinette was with us today at four. We left the school together.

TrueBeauty: This is what I was afraid of! Marinette has twisted you two into lying for her! See Alya this is why I didn’t want anyone to know!

BossFox: Don’t worry I’ll handle this girl.

Juleka Couffaine was removed by BossFox.

PinkBean: Alya?! Really?!

Rose Lavillant was removed by BossFox.

BossFox: Alright girls we have to help keep Adrien safe from his Stalker!

LoveBug: I’ll tell Ivan, I’m sure him and the other boys will be more than happy to help!

TrueBeauty: oh I don’t know what I would do without you girls!

Diamonds

8:15 pm

BlueDiamond: Alix just showed up at my house with Calendula Pink Surprise.

GreenDiamond: Oh? Tikki must be in love.

BlueDiamond: She is, hasn't left the plant since I placed it in my room. I’d send a picture but she obviously wouldn’t show up.

BrownDiamond: Pray tell cousin dearest why did she gift you with flowers?

GreenDiamond: Mir is having another Pride and Prejudice movie marathon…

BrownDiamond: It is a gift to the world!

BlueDiamond: Yes yes one of the best books out there we know.

BlueDiamond: She apologized for everything, also, she may know I’m Ladybug.

BrownDiamond: Well duh, Calendula? Ladybugs love those flowers.

BlueDiamond: She told me that she honestly just thought it was a little rivalry between Lila and me. That is until Alya made a group chat purposely excluding me.

GreenDiamond: Really?

BlueDiamond: Mhm, she said it would be their ‘drama free’ group chat. Not the beat part though.

BrownDiamond: Go on, I've got my movie paused.

BlueDiamond: Apparently I am stalking Adrien and they need to protect him from me.

GreenDiamond:...

BrownDiamond:...

BrownDiamond: My god Marc I can hear you from my room, breathe!

BlueDiamond: I thought the penthouse walls were soundproof?

BrownDiamond: They are.

GreenDiamond: cant breathe

BlueDiamond: I’ve done it.

BlueDiamond: I’ve killed our cousin.

BrownDiamond: Sometimes I wished you’d live here with us Mar.

BlueDiamond: I am thinking about it.

BlueDiamond: Mama and Papa have told me before I can, and it’ll be much easier to avoid Alya.

BrownDiamond: [Image.png]

BlueDiamond: oh my gods breathe

BlueDiamond: is that..

BlueDiamond: Is that Nathaniel’s hoodie?

BrownDiamond: he has rolled over and hid his face in his pillow.

BrownDiamond: Should I tickle the information out of him?

BlueDiamond: hmm permission granted

BrownDiamond: [Video]

BlueDiamond: Awe Marc!!

BrownDiamond: I am outraged he has been dating you for so long and never asked our permission!

BlueDiamond: Mireille give Nathaniel a break, besides not many people know that we are cousins

GreenDiamond: Actually he didn’t know until tonight that we are. Also Mar, expect something from him soon, he knew the truth but didn’t know how to apologize to you.

BrownDiamond: So he is the reason you left the penthouse so quick after your lessons!

GreenDiamond: Shut up Mir!

BlueDiamond: Get some sleep you two, I’ll talk over moving to the penthouse with Mama tomorrow.

BrownDiamond: Goodnight Mar

GreenDiamond: Wait really?!

GreenDiamond: Mar!!

GreenDiamond: You torture me so!

BrownDiamond: Go to sleep Marc.

GreenDiamond: Fine I’ll just ambush her tomorrow.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous fanfic #miraculous fandom #miraculous marinette #marinette dupain cheng #mireille caquet #marc anciel #marc and nathaniel #luka couffaine #lukanette #juleka couffaine #rose lavillant #lila salt #lila bashing #lila rossi #miraculousgroupchat

243 notes · View notes

ginmo · 4 years

Note

How do you think the Bran and Jaime’s meeting will go in the books? I’ve read theories guessing he might end up as King Bran’s Hand, meta where the writers want him to become a mentor or father figure to the Starks in a full circle of his redemption arc, while others don’t want or think he should be involved with the Starks long-term either because of his and his family’s sins against the Starks or because they view his arc as reclamation rather than redemption or atonement. 1/2

This is what GRRM said about Bran and exploring time.

“It's an obscenity to go into somebody's mind. So Bran may be responsible for Hodor's simplicity, due to going into his mind so powerfully that it rippled back through time. The explanation of Bran's powers, the whole questions of time and causality - can we affect the past? Is time a river you can only sail one way or an ocean that can be affected wherever you drop into it? These are issues I want to explore in the book, but it's harder to explain in a show.” - Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon

Hodor’s name reveal is neat and all, but Bran’s power to manipulate the past doesn't exist just so we can randomly learn Hodor’s pointless name origin. That would be ridiculous unless the scene was used to introduce that ability. Hodor’s name reveal is important to the narrative, and I believe its purpose is to set up a much bigger event/reveal involved around Bran interfering with the past, not just observing it. I’m pretty sure GRRM was hint-hinting to D&D about this, which is why he told them about the random ass Hodor scene that was already written, thinking it would be obvious what that means for the overall plot and letting them run with it but………………..

Because of this, I think it’s possible Bran brought himself to where he is.

IF Bran isn’t involved in The Push, then he could have been involved with Jaime killing the Mad King. I kinda like the idea of Bran playing into Aerys’ madness, causing him to stock up on wildfire around the city, because then the wildfire would be an essential future plot element for a bigger purpose towards the end of the series and it would be a question of time, “a river you can only sail one way, or an ocean that can be affected wherever you drop it,” but for the entire series. (And, as someone with a passion in astrophysics, I’m a sucker for discussions around time. BUTTHAT’SJUSTME)

Do I totally subscribe to this theory? Eh. I’m still not convinced Bran is King of All of Westeros for reasons, but I’m open-minded. I DO think Jaime is surviving the series, for reasonsssss, so I’m putting that disclaimer out there right now. I will never claim with absolute confidence that he is surviving though because, I mean, nobody fucking knows, and there’s an argument for death. I’m just going off of narrative clues that I perceive to be clues, and taking other character arcs into consideration. After literally drawing up a table because I’m weird, the column for Survive has more evidence and justification than the column for Dies, so that’s why I lean the way I lean. SO with that being said, I think it’s possible he has more of a political future.

IF this is what GRRM is writing, Jaime would still be responsible for pushing him, of course, but future Bran would want to be pushed. He'd be setting everything in motion to create the butterfly effect that makes it happen.

Even if that isn’t what GRRM had intended with exploring time, it’s highly likely Bran’s character development is taking him down a path of apathy over it, meaning he wouldn’t be needing Jaime to do something for the purpose of redemption for him.

Speaking of Redemption…

-deep breath-

I’m going to go off on this a bit because it IS relevant, I swear.

“Limits of redemption” is probably the biggest wtf interpretation fandom has when it comes to what GRRM actually said. I’ll try not to go off on it too much here but -

Interviewer: Both Jaime and Cersei are clearly despicable in those moments. Later, though, we see a more humane side of Jaime when he rescues a woman, who had been an enemy, from rape. All of a sudden we don’t know what to feel about Jaime.

GRRM: One of the things I wanted to explore with Jaime, and with so many of the characters, is the whole issue of redemption. When can we be redeemed? Is redemption even possible? I don’t have an answer. But when do we forgive people? [...] I want there to be a possibility of redemption for us, because we all do terrible things. We should be able to be forgiven. Because if there is no possibility of redemption, what’s the answer then? [x]

I bolded “we” from the interviewer, because it gives context to GRRM’s answer with “we” being the readers, not the characters or Jaime himself. (I think there’s another interview where he says “limits of redemption” but it’s in the same context. I could be wrong but I SWEAR I heard it. Anyway…)

“I kind of tried to ask, ‘do you think he’s changed?’ to get him to talk about Jaime’s redemption arc, so he said something like he wanted to explore the concept of forgiveness and whether it’s possible to be forgiven for doing such horrible things, and that his goal was to ask the question, not give an answer.” [x]

Fandom thinks this is the characters giving Jaime forgiveness, and maybe there will be a small element of that in the books, but the question is for the readers. No, Jaime is not actively seeking redemption from people. His redemption is for himself, through living his best life, by rediscovering the person he used to be. Yes He Will Be Redeemed and No He Will Fail assume redemption is some arbitrary checklist determined by One Big Act, and they’re answers to a question GRRM doesn’t want to give an answer to.

The purpose of Jaime’s POVs is to ask the readers, and the most obvious moment of this was the bath scene. GRRM smacks us over the head with the Aerys confession, and then as we’re introduced to more and more of his POV chapters, he slowly chips away at the Jaime illusion that was intentionally established the moment he pushed one of the perceived child protagonists out of a window. It’s brilliant, and I’m sorry GRRM that a large chunk of your fandom is too dense to get it. How frustrating lol. I’ll be insulted for him. (I’m legit wondering if his recent angsty tweets about grey and redemption about real life stem from a concern that his fandom won’t understand the point of the series.)

To give you an idea of where these people are coming from, at least one BNF idiot on Twitter believes redemption hasn’t been explored with Jaime yet.

But uh…

GRRM mentioned his intent is to “explore redemption” after delivering Jaime POVs, because... it’s... not a spoiler… he’s already exploring redemption, because the question is being asked TO US. We were supposed to have an “oh shit” moment, realizing this is more complex than the surface level, biased perspective we were delivered at the beginning of the story. “Maybe Westeros and my protagonist have it wrong.” -cough- the people in the village in BatB -cough-

No matter how much fandom likes to pretend they love GRRM for pushing the boundaries of fantasy, they secretly fucking hate it. They love to be comfortable, dude. That’s why they read this series as if it’s a clear cut Good vs. Evil, because a) ego and b) that’s easy. If GRRM was writing Jaime as doing everything with ill intent then…. his… question isn’t being asked. They think everything he does right now is selfish and Bad, so they’re waiting. They want it spoon fed to them. They want classic fantasy. They want Starks = Good, Lannisters = Bad.

But… if the author sees Jaime’s actions as grey and complex, enough to ask the question to the readers if he’s redeemed in their eyes or not, then he’s not going to write an endgame that punishes the character for narrative payoff, because he doesn’t see his actions as “sins” or “crimes” in the same way that these people are. Once upon a time, a person on tumblr reblogged one of my posts and said that Jaime will rape Cersei before he kills himself and that will be his endgame. But GRRM doesn’t view Jaime as a rapist, so he’s not going to write Jaime as a rapist. I’m bringing that up, because it’s the same phenomenon. People can ignore authorial intent all they want, but NOT when it comes to predicting narrative trajectory. The general fandom is terrible at that lol.

The exploration of redemption for Jaime comes in the form of confronting his disillusioned self and everything attached to it. Before someone thinks, “lolllll he isn’t disillusioned”

“he actually was a very idealistic young man who was disillusioned by life” [x]

Jaime’s redemption is the path of returning to that idealistic man for himself. It’s by feeling ashamed of the things he’s done to hide his love for Cersei. It’s by gaining independence and detaching from the toxic relationship that caused a mess outside of them. It’s by wanting to be like the knights he admired in his youth, and like the woman warrior that inspired him.

So when I think about narrative payoff for Jaime, I don’t see it framed as him being “punished” for actions viewed as “crimes,” when GRRM clearly established those “crimes” as complicated and grey with a character already going through some positive development, and especially when the characters judging are written to be flawed as well.

On the other side, having him be “punished” by succumbing to hatred and anger is for sure giving an answer (this just… -sits on hands- don’t even get me started on THIS fucking hot take). That answer would be a clear, solid, “No, no matter how hard he tries to turn his life around, he can’t be redeemed, because he’s a hateful, angry, fucked up person.” I’ve legit seen people think “limits of redemption” is a boundary of redemption drawn in the sand that Jaime is walking towards but he won’t be able to cross it. I-.........................

And what’s even the point of his handchop if scenario number 2 happens?

“And Jaime, losing a hand, losing the very thing he defined himself on is crucial to where I think I want to go with the character. And he questions what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost that.” - GRRM [x]

(I’m going to put this quote in every post sorry not sorry)

So he’s going to take Jaime on this big identity journey just for him to be like “lol nah he isn’t that” …?? That makes the loss of his hand meaningless, not “crucial.” Is it really crucial for him to lose his hand if he’s bringing him back to the beginning? Is it really crucial for him to lose his hand to make himself realize he’s hateful and a failure and murder Cersei and then himself? No. He could have still met Brienne and been inspired by her knightly ways, attempted to live a better life, found out about Cersei’s affairs, etc. He doesn’t need to lose his hand to reach a point of fucking murder/suicide lmao fuck (not saying he’ll do that but I KNOW people are thinking it).

The loss of his hand is “crucial,” because GRRM has bigger endgame plans for him in the form of politics, and the journey to believably get there requires the forced loss of his warrior identity and everything that the hand symbolized.

AS FOR THE ACTUAL HAND THEORY...

Even though I’m undecided on it, I CAN see it IF Bran is King. I get it. Jaime’s missing his right Hand, he becomes the Hand to the kid he pushed out the window. Hardy har har. I understand how that would be pleasing.

And we all know GRRM said something about how the best ones for power are the ones who don’t want it…

And… this suspicious scene at the very beginning of the series…

“You should be the Hand.”

“Gods forbid,” a man’s voice replied lazily. “It’s not an honor I’d want. There’s far too much work involved.”

Bran hung, listening, suddenly afraid to go on. -AGOT

BUT IF that happens, it wouldn’t be there as some sort of #atonement #forredemption. It would be there because of Jaime’s growth as a character after developing into a political player, after asking himself, “what do you make of yourself if you’ve lost [the swordhand]?” He’s no longer the warrior he once was. He dislikes any sort of political position, because he feels most alive with a sword in his hand. But that was Warrior Jaime, and the point of “what do you make of yourself after you’ve lost that” is Jaime going down a different path after discovering that Warrior Jaime has died. I mean, he’d never be actively seeking power and thinking it’s the best career ever, like he’d probably be all -sighhhhhhh- about it, but he’d be doing the responsible thing and what’s necessary. He’d make himself useful in a new way.

“The Warrior had been Jaime’s god since he was old enough to hold a sword. Other men might be fathers, sons, husbands, but never Jaime Lannister, whose sword was as golden as his hair. He was a warrior, and that was all he would ever be.” - AFFC (Do I really need to make a post about how GRRM foreshadows? Mr. Bran: “I never fall”...?)

Jaime losing his hand was the narrative consequence for The Push, making all of his development post handchop -ALL OF HIS POVS- the redemption theme. It was the hand that pushed Bran, fucked his twin, killed his king, swung the sword against fandom’s Precious Protagonists…

“You ought to be pleased. I’ve lost the hand I killed the king with. The hand that flung the Stark boy from that tower. The hand I’d slide between my sister’s thighs to make her wet.” - AFFC

So if Jaime becomes his Hand, it would be the two characters meeting in the middle, not Jaime groveling at his feet, begging for forgiveness, framed as a punishment for sins - “sins” that fandom views as “sins” that need narrative payoff, because they don’t understand intent.

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shemakesmusic-uk · 3 years

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HARD FEELINGS, the new collaborative project of Hot Chip's Joe Goddard and Amy Douglas, have signed to Domino and unveiled their debut outing 'Holding On Too Long' which is teamed with a Katie Paul-directed video. Douglas says of their debut single, "'Holding On Too Long' is the common denominator of the entire musical union of Amy and Joe. In this "opera of sad bangers" here is its key aria, its "Un Bel Di" from Madame Butterfly or the "Mad Scene" from Lucia Di Lammermour, the unforgettable moment of the story wherein our heroine stands up defiantly and has her moment to wail, scream and cry her pain and fury centre stage to the world." HARD FEELINGS was formed after Goddard reached out to Douglas on Twitter after hearing her work, and simply asking: "Amy, can we make a thing?" [via Line Of Best Fit]

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After recently announcing her debut album Flaw Flower is due June 25 via Illegal Data, London-based musician Harriet Zoe Pittard, aka Zoee, is sharing another slice of her multi-faceted art-pop sounds with her new single'Host'. Speaking about the track, Zoee said "‘Host’ describes the disconcertingly replicant-like nature of a once starry-eyed lover who becomes increasingly detached. The video is inspired by The Twilight Zone and was shot on location in a forest close to where I grew up in Berkshire."

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Nashville-based songwriter Madi Diaz releases 'Nervous,' a new single about recognizing unhealthy coping mechanisms. The song’s frank lyrics are bellied by infectious guitar and Diaz’s buoyant voice: “I know why I lie to myself // I’m not really looking to get healthy // I have so many perspectives I’m losing perspective I make me nervous.” The accompanying video was shot in Nashville and directed by Jordan Bellamy. It was inspired by and includes an homage to the final scene of Andrei Tarkovsky's film The Stalker, a film that has always resonated with Diaz through its otherworldly nature, as well as its thoughtful and often anxiety inducing pace. “You know when you hold a mirror up to a mirror and you get an infinite amount of reflections from every angle? That’s what ‘Nervous’ is about,” says Diaz. “It’s when you’re in a loop of looking at yourself from every vantage point until you’re caught up in your own tangled web of bullshit. It’s about catching yourself acting out your crazy and you’re finally self-aware enough to see it, but you’re still out of your body enough and curious enough to watch yourself do it.”

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Buzzy duo XVOTO have announced that their eagerly-awaited debut EP will be arriving on June 4 on One Two Many. Sharing new single ‘Friends’ alongside the news, Jazz Alonso explains that the track is rooted in “the people who have irreversibly changed you and then having to pretend you’re unphased by them when you’re in the same room. Meanwhile you’re trying to work out what your new boundaries are: can you talk about the past? Can you cry together? Can you show how much pain you’re in around them? ‘If you fish me, I’ll play dead’ means: if you make a move, I’ll pretend I’m dead inside and don’t want you back.” Accompanied by a new vid, Jazz adds, “For this video I always imagined an aquarium because of the fish lyrics and because I think looking at fish in a tank is a really nice symbol of looking back at a relationship: you’ll always have your take on it and feel you have control over that narrative cause it’s a memory, but the reality is that truth is fluid and moves. You’re not looking at an image, you’re looking at something that’s alive. Then the scenes of us getting tattooed on our backs are symbols for something beautiful that scars you - you might move on from something but it’ll still inform the way you move forward. In the video there’s some cheating, some reminiscing, some beauty and some pain.” [via DIY]

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Ashe has released new cut 'Me Without You' as the latest singe off her debut album Ashlyn. It comes teamed with a Jason Lester-directed video. Ashe says of the new single, "'Me Without You' is my follow up to 'Moral Of The Story'. It's saying you thought that I needed you to be who I am. There is my past relationship...I had multiple people... You know, assumed that I needed them in my life to feel confident or to be me and "Me Without You" is just this record that's like, ‘Ooh, I am so good on my own'." [via Line Of Best Fit]

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Mia Nicolai is a true internationalist. Born in Amsterdam to a Russian mother, she learned from a young age to move between languages and cultures, accepting them as equal. This all fuels her future-pop vision, a trans-genre approach laden with colour, one that picks from multiple sources. New single 'People Pleaser' is a surging, coherent, ultra-potent offering, a song that dwells on identity, and the processes by which it is defined. "This song is about the journey towards finding yourself," she explains. "It can be very difficult to be true to your inner values when all you do is please the people around you instead of your inner needs. I’ve always come across as a strong-minded person. But in reality, I’m capable of helping everyone BUT myself. At some point I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin that I couldn’t even breathe properly..." We're able to share the dazzling new video, directed by Isabelle Griffioen and produced by That’s What She Set. A surreal but completely engaging experience, it embodies everything Mia Nicolai sets out to do - put people on the back foot, and alert them to her presence. [via Clash]

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Singer-songwriter Gracie Abrams has shared her poignant new single 'Mess It Up' and its accompanying video via Interscope Records. Directed by Matty Peacock, the video for 'Mess It Up' finds Abrams attempting to bake a cake and repeatedly dropping the gorgeously frosted final product on the ground. That bittersweet back-and-forth between determination and disappointment is a perfect match for Abrams’s incisive lyrics, which simultaneously convey a deep longing for forgiveness and an unshakable sense of frustration. Produced by and co-written with her frequent collaborator Blake Slatkin, the track’s stark guitar work and driving rhythms slowly take on a powerful momentum, ultimately building to a sweetly triumphant climax. [via Vacancy]

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Vocalist and guitarist Maya Delilah shares the visuals for her new single 'Need A Word With Cupid'. The track unravels into a punchy number that gives you a hit of both dopamine and female empowerment. Written about realising your worth after a relationship breakup, Maya’s lyrics are little witty statements that we can all use to remind ourselves who the hell we are. “Last Tuesday morning I just realised you’re shit” – it’s the truth. The video sees her waiting in cupid’s reception ready to get her money back because, damn, this boy was not worth her energy. At. All. 'Need A Word With Cupid' is a brilliant narrative that’s not only relatable but also incredibly good. Brimming with smooth guitar tones and a catchy beat, this is a single that leaves you wanting so much more. A self-love anthem for the modern woman, 'Need A Word With Cupid' is an indie-pop bop. Maya says: “'Need A Word With Cupid' was written after my breakup when I felt a sudden hit of empowerment after the realisation that my ex was not worth another tear over. It’s an energetic and uplifting song with soul influences and of course a guitar solo to end.“ [via LOCK]

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With her debut EP Digital Meadow arriving on May 28, Dora Jar is sharing the video for her single ‘Multiply’. “I am my truest form when I am changing shape, morphing sounds, and shifting my point of view,” she says of the forthcoming EP. “This project is an exploration of my impulse to shape-shift. That’s my ambition.” [via DIY]

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Telenova's new-arriving single 'Tranquilize' makes it two-from-two for the band, deeper solidifying their rich blend of sounds while showing how it can move into further areas, taking on new energies - or emphasising other energies - as more songs come to light. 'Tranquillize', for example, has a heavier weighting on that live instrumentation, giving the song this more alt-pop-meets-R&B spin when combined with Angeline's brilliant-as-ever vocals. As she explains, the single was the first for Telenova, written on the day they began working with one another. "I was actually flicking through a thesaurus and the word ‘Tranquilize’ jumped out at me, it just rang so nicely on the tongue and was so inherently visceral," she says. "I was humming gibberish over the hypnotic Rhodes chords that Josh had laid down, and we heard what sounded like ‘Poseidon’s on the water’ - it was the first time in a writing session with Ed and Josh, and the first time I’d been in a writing session where a poetic, literary lyric idea like that wasn’t shunned and coined as ‘unrelatable’. It resonated. We followed the thread, playing into Siren mythology as a metaphor for falling in love - the power of attraction to transfix and tranquillize you." The single also arrives with an official video clip, directed by Angeline - solidifying her multi-talented craft. "I wanted to capture the world of the song in a Lynchian-inspired dreamscape - starry-eyed and a little unhinged - but like, David Lynch meets Gucci," she says. [via Pilerats]

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International superstar P!nk has more than two decades of experience topping the global pop charts, and she is here to continue her reign with the new single 'All I Know So Far'. 'All I Know So Far' was produced by pop mastermind Greg Kurstin and co-written with the songwriting duo Benj Pasek & Justin Paul. The single comes off of her upcoming album All I Know So Far: Setlist, due out on RCA Records on May 21. The accompanying video for 'All I Know So Far' tells Pink’s life story with help from Cher, Judith Light, and Carey Hart. The visuals, directed by longtime collaborator Dave Meyers, also features an appearance from her daughter Willow. The new album will feature live recordings from her 2019 'Beautiful Trauma World Tour' along with a recording of her highly-buzzed MTV Video Vanguard Award acceptance speech. P!nk’s daughter Willow will also make an appearance on the album with the song 'Cover Me in Sunshine', which the singer previously shared back in February. [via Consequence]

#videos of the week #hard feelings #zoee #madi diaz #xvoto #ashe #mia nicolai #gracie abrams #maya delilah #dora jar #telenova #p!nk

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need-a-new-hobby · 4 years

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raising hell

figured id keep going so s1 ep 04 here we go

kay first off, noone moves that much in their sleep.

also slightly creepy that she wakes up and simon’s just watching her

somehow, i'm starting to see a similarity in simon and alec, a sentence i never thought i’d say. it’s interesting how they’re both trying to protect against their ‘better half’s’ trusting nature;

simon blames jace for the craziness

alec blames clary for the craziness

yay! magnus bane!

oh nooo, simon don’t leave

am i the only one wondering why jace has training equipment in his room? i mean the institute is filled with this stuff, why does he need a personal one?

so first clary barges into jace’s room which btw is super clean, just like canon, sees him shirtless and apologises (yay for human decency) and then turns her back for him to put his shirt back on? like she’s already seen him, what’s the point? and clearly this is not just me. just look at jace’s smirk.

captain america ha! i should just make a list of all the pop culture references simon makes about jace. also him yelling at jace to do his own homework, pent up rage issues anyone?

‘i’m not saving his ass a second time’ well, he does get kidnapped a lot

‘i think these are my people.’ really? so she’s just gonna turn her back on simon who’s practically her family? for what, the chance to be a shadowhunter? on a further note, how can she expect simon to just stay at the institute all day? i mean won’t his mom be super worried about him?

omg, david guetta’s a vampire. ha!

‘can you focus? this is not a joke?’ yeah, alec needs to meet his future husband.

did izzy just say alec needs to get slayed or laid? because for the latter, he needs to meet the guy first

i can’t help but be irritated every time jace takes the lead in season 1. let me see leader!Alec :(

‘warlock gets around.’ please tell me he isn’t slutshaming a warlock.

hahah. ‘how is it that my most effective asset is the one who’s comatose?’ whoever writes the lines for villains is a god.

also did the fair folk seriously send seelie scouts to chernobyl? ooh, tongue twister! seelies send six scouts spying on chernobyl! ha!

did valentine smell them or something?

oop pangborn dead! oh noo

we stan two positive girls slaying!

jace giving her another blade, let’s hope she remembers to use it this time

‘i was alive when the dead sea was just a lake feeling a little poorly.’ eek! book quote!

reference to tessa gray! yay!

i always hate how guys can get away with a dress shirt and jeans but girls have to wear dresses to parties. but my grumpy archer boy cleans up well.

hahaha. ‘at least now things are interesting.’ imma let alec explain

valentine is alive and actively seeking the mortal cup

he threatens our entire world

we’re helping his daughter (who by the way, we have no reason to trust and who showed up out of nowhere)

we’re gonna end up overpaying some warlock (my future husband) who may or may not have information we need

thus, alec does not find this interesting and does not feel better now (okay, maybe a li’l)

point to be noted: feelings can explode, and not the fun kind of explode according to izzy

simon’s home! also he’s acting like every pasty 15 yo gamer boy who stayed up to late and is now allergic to the sun.

mrs lewis is not ‘one of those moms’.

also maureen is very relatable with her whole ‘i’d like to date you.’ honestly very realistic.

so if all downworlders hang out at hardtail, is it just demons that hang out at pan-demon-ium? ‘cause if so, maybe it means demons love their damned puns

‘Iz, with a body like yours, everything is your colour.’ WE STAN ONE POSITIVE FRIENDSHIP!!!

‘most men like it when i admire their jewels.’ cue jace’s smirk, alec’s eyeroll and clary’s grin

‘magnus bane. so you’re the one who stole my memories.’ she doesn’t have to be such a dick to him. he did it at her mother’s request.

really? ‘i have to confirm it’s authenticity’. jace honestly fell for that?

again, she’s such a dick to him. ‘now it’s your turn to pay up.’ i can’t believe her.

really? dot’s dead? after all the times that woman should have died, i need to see a body

‘i won’t offer again.’ classic magnus. still love him.

‘who are you?’ why, your future husband of course. sorry, i just ship malec so hard. and this whole scene gives me book!malec vibes

“If Jace was gold, catching the light and the attention, Alec was silver: so used to everyone else looking at Jace that that was where he looked too, so used to living in Jace’s shadow that he didn’t expect to be seen. Maybe it was enough to be the first person to tell Alec that he was worth being seen ahead of anyone in a room, and of being looked at longest. And silver, though few people knew it, was a rarer metal than gold.”

the bane chronicles | the course of true love [and first dates]

‘you’re my only hope.’ should’ve treated him as that then. reason #15 why i dislike clary fray

hahaha, the irony behind the cat eye button.

how do they keep murdering circle members? not that i don’t appreciate alec’s timely rescue, but do they never take people alive?

‘we have to go’ jace moves to leave. cue clary just sitting down on a table.

‘i’m catching my breath.’ from what? she literally just got out of a nightclub. this matchstick is killing me.

‘we have risked our lives again and again for this girl and where has it gotten us?’ angry!archer time. also his eye roll when clary goes, ‘hey, i am right here.’ imma just do several dot points on this one scene, cuz it really pisses me off.

‘hey, i am right here, i don’t care about you damn jewellery.’ spoiler alert, neither does he, but chances are that necklace is worth thousands of dollars (a 1857 london townhouse for that matter). that kind of bargaining chip doesn’t come cheap and in exchange for it, they’ve gotten nothing.

‘i’m sorry you’re gonna look bad in front of your bosses.’ damn right he is. alec has a responsibility to bear and she should be glad he isn’t yelling at her. in fact he’s never yelled at her thus far. second, he’s liable for derunement and exile, not to mention the severe humiliation his parents will receive.

‘my mother is still missing and my last chance at finding her just disappeared into thin air.’ i mean, magnus did almost just die from that circle member if alec hadn’t shot him. and second, she should show a little less attitude to the people that are risking their lives and their jobs for her.

‘people are dying because of me. magnus will never come out of hiding again while valentine’s still after him and i will never get my memories back.’ first of all, the only person that died for her is dot (and even that’s unconfirmed). magnus came out of hiding for the necklace, and hotch isn’t dead yet. simon is about to be but clary fixes that anyway

ooh, emeraude’s accent makes a comeback.

PARABATAI TRACKING!!!

‘of course they are.’ bitch, is she jealous? whaat? ‘this whole parabatai thing seems oddly intimate, if you ask me.’ literally noone asked. also, she could look a little happier that they’ve found a way out of this mess. second, i feel like that’s borderline homophobic, but that might just be me overanalysing again.

‘magnus lives in a warehouse?’ hahaha, the notion that magnus ‘dramatic bitch’ bane lives in a warehouse is insane. he bought a necklace with his townhouse for crying out loud.

also, why do they keep dragging her into these missions? she’s a liability with no training and she’s apparently the most un-athletic matchstick in the world considering she lost her breath exiting a nightclub. then again, clubs are exhausting.

sadistic shadowhunters. that’s nice.

future husbands fighting together warms my soul

were magnus’s first words to alec seriously a steak pun? ‘well done, more like medium rare.’ i love these dumbasses so much.

awww, alec’s first real smile. and the stuttering. it makes my cold, dead heart melt. AND THEN HE RUNS AWAY! GAAA

okay, so this whole magnus and clary thing has more than a few points, can’t wrap it up as neatly as the others but:

first off, he’s giving clary sole credit for saving zoe’s life when really it was all of them. technically she kicked his ass while izzy grabbed him and jace threw a knife in his back.

second, if she hadn’t called him out of hiding, this situation wouldn’t have even come onto him. and as much i hate to stomp on magnus, if he hadn’t been reckless enough to answer the call, they wouldn’t have been in danger.

third, clary is exactly like jocelyn, but for all the wrong reasons. clary uses people, offering them false promises she doesn’t have the capacity to deliver, and exploits anyone who gives her the most basic human decency, refusing to understand the cost at which they do so. (see alec)

fourth, she’s not a real shadowhunter, not without training or experience. that’s like calling a newly enlisted soldier an officer. sure, they’re part of the system, but you can’t send them into battle without an ounce of training. clary barely knows how the chain of command works. so saying, she’s not like the other shadowhunters is ridiculous. obviously she isn’t considering shadowhunters grow up in a society where downworlders are looked down upon. so when she’s introduced to this new world, obviously she looks at them as decent human beings.

‘normally, i love a dirty lair...’ ALEC’S FACE AT THAT HA!

also where’d all the warlocks? because it’s literally just the 5 of them. otherwise, imma have to assume they’re dead.

‘about Alec, is he more of a flower or cologne man?’ magnus’s subtlety is killing me.

‘pretty boy’ alec’s little smile and shrug though aaaa

‘trust no-one, especially the clave’ i mean, i get it but how’s she meant to protect it on her lonesome?

why does jace look so wounded? i’m starting to think he’s a little jealous of not getting hit on. oh nvm it’s cause he has to burn her flesh.

‘this might sting.’ cue clary screaming. i know, i know, i should feel worse about this but if any of you have seen the behind-the-scenes footage from matthew daddario’s twitter profile, you’ll understand. when they were shooting this scene, harry shum jr (magnus bane) was dancing outside and lip-syncing to kat mcnamera’s (clary fray’s) screams. it’s hard to get out of your head.

that pentagram is the most beautiful thing i’ve seen. i never thought i’d say that.

again, subtlety is not magnus’s strengths and i love him for it.

michelangelo

i aspire to be as dramatic as magnus bane is leading a demon-summoning ritual

aww izzy loves alec the most, clary and her mom obv, oh noo, alec and jace, that’s not good

also why does jace look so injured by it?

alec’s panicking, alec’s panicking, ALEC’S PANICKING

f*ck her memories, save jace. im assuming this whole thing is just a plot device to keep stuff spicy and to give clary credit for killing a greater demon.

i have to point out 4 things, you can skip this bit where i just talk about the team as people and how their reactions reveal stuff about them.

alec’s panic over injuries is very controlled which i think says a lot about him as a person where he has to control his reactions, but you can see he feels guilty

izzy instantly looks for any injuries, says a lot about her being more active and level-headed

clary, naturally, panics and looks to magnus for help

magnus sort of strolls over and brushes off his shirt. clearly apathetic about shadowhunter but expects that they’ll ask him to help and is his very cynical self (‘I don't know. Does he normally just lay like that without moving?') which naturally results in a very obnoxious face made by clary

somehow in this moment i feel worse for alec than jace. (maybe cause the latter is loud, arrogant and annoying) the guy’s terrified that he’s been out-ed, guilty about almost killing his parabatai and angry at himself for releasing the demon. and in typical alec fashion, instead of addressing his problems, he watches from a distance and then leaves.

okay, so jace has almost died from that demon, yet he’s the one asking clary if she’s okay?

vision time

okay how does valentine keep seeing stuff he’s not meant to see?

alright something i gotta point out. almost every angsty show/movie i’ve seen does the same thing where the girl gets frustrated at a necklace (usually a gift), rips it from her neck and throws it away. shouldn’t that have broken said necklace?

well, that’s the end of that. malec made all the difference in this ep. much more excited about magnus and alec finally meeting each other. till the next ep.

#shadowhunters #tsc #alec #alec lightwood #jace #jace wayland #izzy #isabelle lightwood #clary #clary fray #clary fairchild #anti clary fray #anti clary fairchild #anti clary

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blacknovelist · 3 years

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Half-Empty, Half-Full (FE3H Fic)

hey hi what’s up lads, so I like, 100% forgot I could post my piece for the @threehouseszine Beneath The Banner (also available on Twitter under the same name) and as such I’m like ten years late. :) But the zine has been sent out, and I finally noticed like the fool I am that others have posted their pieces, and thusly, I too will post mine! Because I can. And I want to.

My focus was on the Golden Deer post-skip, specifically in some nebulous point during the war. Being part of this zine was really, really cool -- I can’t wait for all the books and merch to arrive with everyone!

(will reblog with links because we all know tumblr likes to break things.)

A beat of something nice, amid the fragments of harder times.

In the spaces between war — between scattered supply checks and ration distribution, bandit skirmishes and long watch nights — Hilda finds the time she needs to breathe.

It came easier, back in the academy. She could simply step back and let the world move around her, steadfast in her belief that it would still be standing when she returned. Nowadays she steals the air in her lungs from glances at the sky and quick delivery walks, from the chip of chisel and steel against stone and wood, from the sensation of gems and petals inlaid on clothes, chains and hooks when she can afford to lay down her axe. Infrequency makes the beats between battles all the more precious.

With the professor around she can afford more pauses still, but Hilda watches herself. She knows, all too well, just how young she is. Claude lies at one year her junior and the professor, with their five year hiatus, sits at two. It wouldn't do for her stubborn leaders to find someone they can’t believe in among their ranks, now.

She’s on the run for errands when she spots a hint of not-plant green and wood not far off the beaten path, and she wastes no time following that tried and true Deer instinct to take a peek. Ignatz is there, as expected, easel propped on a patch of flat land, what she can see of the canvas a tasteful blend of browns and golds. He leans in, fingers dabbed in the same off-white his paintbrush dusts onto his scene.

Now, Hilda doesn’t paint, but she does understand the stress and struggle of art, different forms aside. Which is why she waits until he leans back before she steps forward and taps his shoulder.

“Hey, Ignatz.”

Ignatz yelps, almost drops his brush and earns himself a stripe on his palm for his troubles. “Hilda! Hi. I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you there.”

“Don't worry about it.” She clasps her hands together. “What’re you painting?"

"I wanted to capture the cathedral, while it's still under repair." He gestures to his piece — the white forms the glint of sunlight off patches of rubble, steel and glass, along with the robes of monks and priests as they shift and sweep aside what debris they can. "A lot of artists depict places in their prime, or utterly destroyed, or after they've been restored to their former glory. I thought it would be nice to show the in-between for once. People from every background imaginable, coming together to rebuild for the future. A little different from what I usually paint, but sometimes a little variety is nice."

"And you're doing it all the way out here because…"

"I didn't want to be in anyone's way, and I come out here a lot. I've got plenty of references with me, so it's not a problem." Ignatz shifts and Hilda catches sight of a stack of sketchbooks, some more worn than others, half-spilled from a bag. The top one gets plucked up and held between them as he flips from page to page. Statue busts, the altar and rows of pews among pillars rendered in charcoal and sleek pigment lines. Sometimes, she catches glimpses of green and blue and other colors, or shapes that don't quite match the church art he focuses on, but Ignatz flips too fast for her to see.

Or, almost. "Go back two pages," Hilda says. A grin tugs at her lips. "Was that Claude?"

"Oh! Uh, yes." Though Ignatz learned to leave embarrassment and nerves about his art behind, something in his chest still squirms, just a bit. An image of their leader in the library, face cast in candlelight and more at peace than he ever is during daylight, stares up at the duo. "It's easier when I’m with a person, but sometimes I'll do studies on my own. Practice makes perfect, after all."

"It's beautiful." She reaches out, pauses. "May I…?"

He passes it over. "Here. You can look at the others, too. I don't mind." Then he turns back to the easel and reaches for his paint. "Anyway, I thought this was as good a spot to work as any. There's a field down that way you can see best in the spring, and I like the view of everything from here."

"You'll have to show me when it's in season."

Her eyes flicker over thick paper. Statues. Flowers, trees, forest paths. Distance shots of people, strolling towards town. Swirls of filigree and patterns fill whole pages in patches, tiny stylized animals and the occasional dragon tucked into the empty space. Silhouettes crowd around the pews, and even if she recognizes clothes, many of these smaller figures are faceless.

But she finds a loose sketch, hair popping blond against black ink, of Raphael and a young girl with the same square jaw and broad shoulders. Claude himself appears once more, this time in wireframe form, ordinary steel bow drawn all the way back and arrow pointed to the left. When she plucks one of his other books from the stack it follows a similar trend — renderings of the cathedral, inside and out, stuck in among horse-drawn carriages and sunlit grass patches and clothes and people, both familiar and unfamiliar, faceless and defined. A few drawings are from the past few months: Sylvain in his armor, Baltie with his open-chested shirt, Leonie and her long hair, the monastery scaffolding.

Most of his drawings are from the academy days.

Lindhardt, leaned against a tree, the shadow of leaves mottled on his lap. Herself and Marianne seated in the dining hall. Lysithea, with a book in one hand and a swirl of magic in the other. Claude and Lorenz mid-argument. Felix as he trains blade blurred and bent as he lunges. Dimitri and Dedue bent over a table in their classroom. Edelgard as she strides across the courtyard, Hubert one step behind. Busts of the professor and Jeralt, side by side, the faintest quirk in their lips.

Hilda looks up and pauses. Ignatz presses so close to the canvas he’s peering over the wire frames of his glasses rather than through, brow furrowed and jaw set. She shuts an eye as the sun slips out from behind what’s left of Garreg Mach’s spires. Greyscale flowers peer up from the pages, a reflection of the few asters scattered around their feet. Mountain monastery air goes down sweet and full in her lungs.

"I gotta say, Ignatz,” she says, the edge of her thumb smudged in stray charcoal. "These are amazing. How long have you been doing art?"

"Since I was little." He leans back, considers his work, then leans in again. "My parents are merchants, so we delivered paintings and statuettes to a lot of noble houses in the Alliance. One day I found some extra supplies lying around so I just… picked it up and gave it a shot."

"Well, I'm glad you did. Even these plain sketches look much nicer than anything I could do, and don't even get me started on painting. No offense, Ignatz, but no thank you. Definitely not my wheelhouse."

Ignatz pauses. "None taken, and thank you. You draw?”

"Not much." She waves a hand. "My talents lie in accessories. I like to plan before I start working, figure out how it should come together and doodle in the margins a little sometimes, that's all."

"You're always wearing beautiful jewelry, but I didn't realize you made them yourself." A smile breaks out across his face. "That's amazing, Hilda!"

A blush rolls across her cheeks and she can't stop the tug of her lips into a matching grin. "Oh, stop it. Really?"

"Of course! The colors and shapes you use match your hair, complexion, and the clothes you tend to wear quite beautifully." His brush plunges into a cup of water by the foot of his easel and faces her fully. "When did you start?"

"A long time ago, now – I'm not even sure exactly how long, anymore. I used to make flower crowns and necklaces with my big brother, and it just spun out from there." The book lies closed in her hands now. Her finger runs up and down the paper, feels the grooves between unaligned pages. "I could make them as pretty or ugly as I wanted, so long as I was happy in the end. No one ever expected anything more or less. Not that I ever made something ugly, mind you."

Ignatz hummed. "Have you ever considered selling them?"

"Not really.” Hilda tilts her head. “Do you think it'd be a good idea?"

"Absolutely! You should consider it, once the war is over. I bet people would love them."

She taps her chin. “I’ll give it some thought. What about you, Ignatz? What do you plan on doing once this whole mess is behind us?”

“Well… Ideally, I’ll keep painting,” he says. “Even if I have to do it between my duties as a knight. It might make it hard to find a household to serve, but I don’t want to just stop.”

“Why are you aiming to be a knight? How come you’re not just going off to be an artist or something like you want to?”

“My parents sent me to the academy since my brother’s taking over the business. They didn’t really approve of the whole artist thing.” Ignatz shrugs. “I don’t really think I’m all that cut out for it, to be honest. Fighting’s never been my strong suit.”

“Well that’s a shame,” Hilda says. “Have you ever spoken to them about it?”

He shook his head. "Not much recently, at least."

“You should. Maybe you can convince them, after all this. And if you can’t, then just come to House Goneril, okay? I’ll let you paint as much as you want.”

“That would be nice.” He smiles, then bends to reach for his bag. “Thank you, Hilda.”

“Any time.” She holds the sketchbook out. Ignatz takes it, tucks it gently alongside the others. Before he can put his brush away, he pauses.

“If you have time,” he starts. "Would you like to join me out here again tomorrow? We could work on our projects together, if you have any."

Hilda smiles. "I'd love to, but I'm on stock duty tomorrow. No shuffling off the responsibility for that."

"I see. That's too bad. Maybe next time?"

"... Sure. I'd like that."

#Fire Emblem Three Houses #FE3H #FE3h Fic #FE3H Zine #Beneath The Banner zine #Blacknovelist Writes #long post #(in case readmore breaks tho it shouldn't really)

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shark-from-the-park · 4 years

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FIC: The Fitzier of It, Episode One

A Fitzier The The Thick Of It AU in several parts.

So, I finally decided to start posting this long-ass fic and see what people think. You don’t need to have seen The Thick of It to get this. It’s just sweary political satire as a thinly veiled excuse to have James crush on Francis. Dedicated to @casperthefriendlylittlefan for constant cheerleading, encouragement and brainstorming, and for encouraging me to use my place-holder title for the fic instead of some pretentious thing.

Warnings for very bad language, frequent Britishisms, and Blanky. Also, this is still a WIP. Will be posted on AO3 when complete.

@casperthefriendlylittlefan @boisinberryjamarama @what-a-terrorific-mess @coffeesugarcream @hereliesnils @itisa-profoundbond-sarandom @the-jewish-marxist @cinemaocd @jaredharrisankles @thegreenmeridian - please PM me to be tagged in future installments/untagged/to ask questions/to say hi, etc. My love to all in the Fitzier fandom.

Episode One

“Look Francis… There’s no need to be so coy with me. I’m just saying that when you do finally announce this Westminster’s-worst-kept-secret leadership bid, you’re going to fucking need me on side, whether you want to admit it or not! Francis, Francis, for Christ’s sake, are you even listening to me?” James felt the irritation that was so specific to Francis Crozier crawling along his spine and scraping across the breadth of his shoulder blades as the older man turned his face away from him.

“You know Tom, I miss the days when acquaintances would address me as ‘Minister’.” Francis addressed his chief political aide as though James was not even in the room.

“Aye, them were the days. Respect, n’all that.” Grinned Tom Blanky, flanking Francis on his left side like a gangster’s hired muscle, while hulking, sullen-faced Ed Little did his strong, silent thing on his right.

Furious, James chose to ignore the two henchmen completely.

“Fucking hell, Francis, you’re an ignorant bastard! Are you really going to piss all over an olive branch when it’s handed to you?! Just give me a fucking clue, alright? You know, animal, vegetable, mineral. Give me something to fucking work with here. You owe me at least a brave fucking coming out story just to make up for the fucking cardigans, you -”

“’E’s talking about your cardigans again, Frank.” Blanky stage whispered, his eyes twinkling.

“Obsessed, I’d call it.” Rumbled the human boulder that was Ed Little from Francis’s other side.

“James, I’m ancient and boring and serious about political reforms. The electorate doesn’t give a flying fuck who I’m shagging or not shagging.” Francis sniped across the desk at him, his lip curling in that disdainful way he had.

James had heard colourful swearing out of Francis on innumerable occasions. The Irishman was legendary for his biting turns of phrase. But there was something about hearing him say the word ‘shagging’, and twice in one sentence no less, that made James fingers fumble with his expensive stainless steel clipboard, almost dropping it.

Tom Blanky’s shrewd and mocking eyes caught on James’ momentary discomfort at once, and the Yorkshireman smiled to himself.

James saw red.

“I give a flying fuck who you’re shagging, you Stalinist loon!” He shouted, and knew that he’d worded that wrong when three pairs of eyebrows rose laconically in response and a cacophony of titters could be heard from the shared office outside.

“Brave of yer to just come out with it like that.” Opined Blanky.

James threw one of his prized Paperchase paper-clips at him and it hit him squarely in the temple.

“Francis, you’re not thick enough to really believe that the electorate won’t care about your personal life, are you? They already care about what you wear. They care about how stupid you look riding a bike. They care about your bad hair cut and where you do your weekly shop. Of course they’ll care that you’re into men. Or both. Or whatever it is that you’re into. I’m just pre-empting the conversation for when you announce and inevitably want to hire me.”

Francis sneered at him crookedly. “Are you really so keen to jump ship from Sir-Just-Left-of-Centre, James?”

“Oh for God’s sake, Francis, who’d you think sent me? Sir John’s imminent resignation is the second worst kept secret in Westminster.”

“So it’s his olive branch I’m pissing on, then, and not yours...”

James hated him and his stupid, ruddy face.

“Do you want to be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland or not, you bolshy, gap-toothed wanker?” He yelled across the desk, a fine spray flying from his mouth.

Thomas Jopson, junior minister and probably the sweetest human being who had ever entered politics, barged through the office door.

“James, you are well out of order!” The young man exclaimed at a volume which James had never heard him achieve before.

This had a remarkable effect on the four men in the room.

Francis’s eyes instantly softened in a way James hadn’t been certain he was capable of. Ed Little let his aggressively pointing finger drop to his side and closed his open trap. Blanky slowly lowered the chipped mug he’d been aiming at James’ head and toned down his glower a fraction.

James looked down at his exquisitely expensive, fashionable brogues.

“It was beneath me to mention your teeth, Francis.” He admitted.

“None taken, you Oxbridge ponce.” Francis muttered. “But listen, you tell Sir Sell-out that if I need his help, I’ll send the prearranged signal, which is me stepping out into a taxi lane during rush hour.”

Ed Little snorted.

James seethed.

“Oh how easy it must be to refuse honours when you’ve never been offered any.” He hissed through his teeth, trying desperately to tamp down on his disappointment.

“Or when you have principles.” Francis shot back.

James sighed in bitter resignation and rubbed his temples with one hand.

“Fine. Good luck to you and your red cabal, Francis. You’ll need it.”

He gathered what remained of his dignity and left Francis’s office, ignoring the stares and murmurs from the assorted aides and secretaries sat at the desks outside as he made his way over to the lift.

Huffing in frustration, he turned to deliver one last glare at the bunch of Bolshevik wankers, only to nearly jump out of his skin when he found Tom Blanky perched on the nearest hot desk, regarding him with an inscrutable look.

James had no idea how a man with a bad leg could move so stealthily.

Blanky brandished the paper-clip which James had just thrown at him. It was pink and in the shape of an arrow. One of James’ favourites.

“I’m keepin’ this.” The Yorkshireman said with a cryptic grin, sliding the paper-clip triumphantly onto the hem of his shirt pocket.

James opened his mouth for a retort, but found that he had nothing, and so stepped, utterly defeated, into the now open doors of the lift.

*****

“So, go on then. How was your parley with Red Frank and his terrors?” Dundy asked him with a gleeful glint, as they sipped triple shot lattes in Cafe Nero the next morning.

“Like being shot at at close range by the cast of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.” James mumbled unkindly.

Dundy laughed delightedly at him around a mouthful of biscotti. “Well. What did you expect. You haven’t exactly made an effort to be friendly with him before. He’s not just going to roll over the first time you pat his head, is he?”

“Can we dispense with the dog metaphors, Dundy, for fucks sake?” James was in no mood to rehash yesterday’s failure, even with his closest friend.

Dundy, as ever, blundered on regardless. “Look. He’s already got advisors. Such as they are. He’s got the grass-roots, and he’s the only candidate with a consistent political record. He’s bound to be a bit cocky right now. You just need to hop down off your gilded pony and come down to his level if you want to actually...”

“Wise words from the working class hero over here...” Snorted James inelegantly.

“Fitz, you know exactly what I’m saying...”

“Of course I know what you’re saying! It’s not just that he’s our only chance, it’s that he’s the best chance the party’s had in a while… I do get it. Politics is changing and we’ve got to change with it or we’ll find ourselves completely out of the loop. Francis does have the support. And I suppose he’s got a certain sort of… mass appeal. He’s got... natural authority, I mean… But these bastards...” James shoved at the pile of broadsheets in front of them. “Are going to completely tear him apart. He doesn’t see it yet, Dundy, but he needs me! And I’m trying this time! I actually tried! I actually want to help the cranky Irish bastard.”

Dundy demolished the last of his biscotti and then started chewing thoughtfully on James’ croissant.

Occasionally, James knew, his long-time colleague would deliver some glimmer of wisdom, so he waited patiently for it.

“You know Fitz, I knew you’d drunk the red koolaid. Seen it coming for a while now. But you have to admit, it’s more than that. You don’t just admire the ginger twat. You actually fancy him.”

James felt not a smidgen of guilt, after, for spraying a mouthful of lukewarm coffee over Dundy’s smug face.

*****

“Your latest cardigan’s gone over well with millennials on twitter, Francis.” Ed Little informed them in a tone which was as bright as the big man ever accomplished.

“Just what I always wanted, Edward. To be a fashion icon.” Francis gave him a wry smile.

“I bet Fitzjames is a fan too, Frank.” Blanky grinned from across the room. “Sadly, you’re still catching some heat in the broadsheets for our CND stance.”

“Guess I’ll just change my mind about the threat of mutually assured annihilation then...” Francis winked at Blanky before diving back to drafting his speech.

“We will sort of have to work with Fitzjames eventually though, won’t we?” Ed intoned glumly, as though carrying on from a previous conversation.

Francis met Blanky’s eye. “Of course we will. Our options are thin on the ground.” He sighed.

“But we’ll definitely make the posh bugger sweat first.” Blanky added, with relish.

*****

Episode Two here...

#fitzier #the thick of it AU #jimmy fitz is in love #the fitzier of it #fic

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queeniewritesce · 5 years

Text

Have a Magical Day 1/?

Pairing: Chris Evans x You, Chris Evans x OFC

Summary: A deserved break from work with your best friend turns your life upside when you meet the Evans Family while at Disney World. Follow along as Belle and Chris get to know each other over 10 days at the Most Magical Place on Earth™. Will they have a fairytale happy ending or is this just a vacation fling?

Warnings: Disney Rides Spoilers?, Mild Swearing, Chris Evans is a big kid, Fluff, Eventual Smut, long ass descriptions of rides, I don’t know how to write without turning it into a 10K fic, sorry ‘bout that

“Well, maybe next time we ‘Drink Around the World’ you’ll listen to me. I told you we should’ve eaten a pretzel in Germany or Fish and Chips at England.”

This was supposed to be your first night at Epcot and now your best friend was drunk and looking like hell warmed over.

“Bitch don’t talk food to me damnit, I’m so close to throwing up.” He leaned back into the bench and pinched his eyes. ‘Look, I’m sorry alright, I know it’s tradition, but Illuminations will have to wait till next week. I’m walking back to the Boardwalk, the fresh air might help, you stay and enjoy Extra Magic Hours.”

You sighed and asked if he was sure he’d make back to the hotel and he waved you off, saying it’s like walking backing home, which was true, you ever only stayed at The Boardwalk Villas as that was your DVC resort.

“OK, I’m skipping the firework and going back to Future World, Test Track was down all afternoon and I just looked at the app and it’s back on.” You kissed his cheek and he knew he was a bit better when he exclaimed ‘ewww girl slob’ at you, pulling a face.

You left him by International Gateway and started to your left when you heard someone behind you.

“Excuse me miss, you said Test Track was back on?” a sharp voice asked.

Turning around you saw a group of about 10 people, adults and a couple of kids plus a stroller. The voice belonged to one of the three males, he was tall, had on a character black shirt and had a NASA baseball cap pulled down low on his head.

“Yes? I just checked the app two minutes ago.” You pulled your phone from your shell cross body purse, opened the app again and confirmed it’s on. “Are you guys on site? Extra Magic Hour is on till 11 pm.”

“We are! We arrived this afternoon and didn’t look at the time schedule yet, thanks!” A short brunette answered you.

“No problem, you guys have a magical day.” You groaned when your cast member training kicked in.

Waving, you start to walk but could hear them talking and when you looked back the guy who had first talked to you, a shorter blond guy and the brunette girl had broken from the group and were now a few paces behind you.

You knew him from somewhere, didn’t you? When your mind couldn’t provide the answer, you shrugged.

You made your way through England and Canada, people watching as you went. People were lining up near the lagoon to watch Illuminations but seeing it alone wasn’t the same and you continued your way. You debated whether or not to stop at Starbucks and 15 minutes later you’re happily sipping on your Iced Caramel Macchiato while walking the corridors of Mouse Gear on a brisk pace.

You were checking your Twitter feed, head down and immersed on your phone when you walked into a wall. Because that what felt like right, who on earth was that hard?

“Ughh,” looking up you saw the same man from before, hat even lower now. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry”.

You both said it at the same time, while you put your phone away.

“No, no, I was on my phone and didn’t see you there. You’re okay?”

You were near one of the least used exits of the store, and for a moment you thought that he as hiding. You quickly put that thought away, why would someone hide inside Mouse Gear anyways?

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry, I was… some people saw…” he scrunched his nose, rubbing his eyes with both hands.

“Don’t sweat it, crowds can be a bitch sometimes.” You had seen your fair share of people having panic attacks, anyone could have them. “I’m glad I didn’t pour my drink all over you. Sorry again.”

Just when you turned to leave you saw his companions looking around and making their way over.

“Hey Ch…” the blond stopped when he saw you. He looked at you a little suspicious. “Hey.”

“Hi again! I’m glad you’re here, your friend’s not really doing well, but he does a nice wall cosplay!”

“She’s cool man, I wasn’t looking where I was going, and we collided. She’s been keeping me company while my panic attack goes away.” He looked funny when he said panic attack but you let it go. He turned to you, “Meet my brother and my sister, Scott and Shanna. I’m… Chris.”

Oh. OH.

“Nice to meet you all, I’m Belle.” You’re prepared for the reactions that followed because let’s face it, that was just too much of a coincidence.

“Like the princess?

“No, you’re not!”

“It suits you.”

The last one came from Chris. That wasn’t new but wasn’t a norm either. You choose to ignore the blush rising on your neck and turned to the others.

“It’s Isobel... But Belle is easier. It was nice meeting you guys, see you around.”

You had the feeling the Scott Evans wasn’t overly fond of you, so you made yourself scarce. You heard someone calling for you to wait, but you’re already halfway through the door.

Captain freaking America. Talk about timing.

You heard the last booms signaling Illuminations was over and hurried to Test Track before the throng of people descended from World Showcase.

The few day guests are still in line, but you went through the single rider line and was quickly seated. Although you loved the thrill the ride offered, they placed you on your least favorite seat, so you made your way back to the front entrance and got into the normal line, scanning your Magic Band to show you’re staying at one of the Disney hotels and could ride during the extra time.

Making your way through the queue you got to the designing room and was excited to design a cool car. You had just started when someone cleared their throat behind you.

“And we meet again!” Chris and his brothers were standing at the same station as you. “I guess we have to share our car making skills.”

“Hurry up, we only have one minute and a half left.” Captain freaking America or not, no one messed your mojo when it was time to design your Test Track model car.

Turning back to the screen you tried to pick the shape of your car, laughing when Chris tried to turn it to a sports car but coming up with a beetle-like car. You argued about the color and accessories, pushing each other from the control panel and when the countdown reached zero, you had a bit of a Frankenstein car in front of you.

“It’s… cute?” you laughed when the green stripped car turned around the screen. Not your best work for sure, but you’d had a good time.

“It’s something alright, but cute it ain’t.”

You both laughed and Chris scanned his magic band to lock the car to your group and the doors opened to the final part of the queue.

“After you, Mademoiselle,” you laughed when he sang the first few lines of Be Our Guest when you did a little curtsy.

Scott was right behind you in line and he holds your elbow when the queue stopped moving.

“Sorry about earlier, I’m kinda protective about my brother.”

“It’s all good really. Water, bridges and all that.” you reserved judgment on the younger man, understanding his need to protect his family’s privacy. “You said you arrived today?”

“Yeah, unpacked and came straight to EPCOT, had dinner at Le Cellier,” Shanna said from somewhere behind Chris. She was a tiny thing when compared with her muscled big brother. “We’re heading back but heard you talking to your friend about Test Track and here we are!”

“Yeah, it’s down most of the day, we arrived around noon and every time I searched the wait times Test Track was unavailable. I’m glad they got it back together for EMH.”

“What about you Belle? It’s not your last day or anything is it?” Well, that was… interesting? Chris seemed eager somehow and on the back of your mind you chucked it for anxiety. Hadn’t you read somewhere he had anxiety? “Your friend seemed upset when he said you’d miss Illuminations.”

The queue moved and you could see the cars on the loading dock.

“It’s our little tradition, Corey and I came up with it like 10 years ago. We have to watch a fireworks show on our first park day. But he overdid it during the afternoon, especially because we were already a little drunk from Jelly Rolls last night.” They were next in line now. “How do you wanna play this?”

“First row!” You jumped when both Scott and Shanna screamed.

“Any place is fine really,” Chris said.

“Well, I’ a firm believer in the back row, right side, so you can have the left.” You looked around and saw that the single rider line was now closed. “With the number of people here, I don’t think they’re gonna force single riders on us.”

The cast member manning the loading area asked you how many but it was Scott who answered. A girl pointed you to the last loading station, the cars pulling up as you walked.

“You went to Jelly Rolls last night?” Chris asked, a hand out to help you enter the ride.

“Thank you. Yes, we arrived yesterday and mostly hanged on the Boardwalk. Saw some magic shows and had a way later night than we’d planned. But Jelly Rolls was awesome, I love the place and the sangria was so good.”

Chris nodded, sitting down and sprawling his long legs. “We love the place, there’s just something about live karaoke with a band, people are either really good or really fucking bad, it’s fun either way!”

The four of you snapped on your seat belts while you talked, and the car launched to the checkpoint. The girl making the checks must’ve been either new or slacking because she never asked Chris to remove his hat.

The car launched again, the usual spiel starting and then you’re off, speeding on the make-believe vehicle safety test drive. A particular turn had you moving on your seat so bad a hand shot out to hold you in place, landing on your knee and staying there. The fastest part of the ride arrived and everyone screamed, the wind outside making you tear up a little. Chris almost lost his hat and you made a mental note to send a memo to the ride’s crew leader.

Then it was over. The car made its way to the unloading dock while you clapped and then you’re cleared to open your seatbelts.

“Well, now we know why they put six people in the car, I was afraid you’d fly out of your seat when we hit 85 mph.” Chris again helped you out the car.

Gosh, that was fun, wasn’t it? You smiled at him waiting for Scott who had his seatbelt stuck somehow. Then an idea struck you.

“You guys wanna go again?” you took a chance because you’re having fun and damnit, he might be Captain freaking America but he was also cute as hell with that thick beard, plump lips and blue eyes, and if you could prolong this just one ride more, well, why not?

“Won’t we lose too much time going around front again? Looks like there are quite a few people in line behind us.” Chris looked at you and you could see the cogs turning inside his head, a frown forming. Maybe he thought he’d use his status to get another ride? You scoffed. As if.

“Nah, I got connections man.” You grinned at him and went to the guy you knew was the person in charge. Patrick laughed and hugged you with one arm, claiming you need to catch up before calling on his radio and them directed you again to the last dock.

“Thanks, Patrick, I owe you one” you bumped fists before the car moved forward.

This time when the car moved to the checkpoint a young man asked Chris to remove his hat. He did it with a sigh, fingers trying to tame the hair back in place and you had to struggle a giggle when the other guy working on the checkpoint squeaked.

You kept on a detached face and send a smile his way. The man was here to have fun, the best you could do was not bring attention to who he was. Besides, you were really enjoying his laid back attitude. He could’ve used a guide or gone through backstage, but here he was, waiting for his time in the queue like everyone else and you’re the one actually using your job to get what you wanted.

Chris once again helped you out and you were tempted to run your fingers through Chris’ hair, the wind had played havoc with the locks.

“This is the best ride ever, my favorite by far.” Shanna skipped ahead to see the automated picture and scan her Magic Band to move it to their Disney account.

You walked behind with Chris and Scott and it took you a few seconds to realize you still were holding hands with Chris. You raised an eyebrow at him but he just shrugged, a smile on his lips.

“Mine is definitely the whole Avatar area and of course Flight of Passage,” Scott said and then also raised an eyebrow at Chris but he got a friendly tap to the head when tried to actually point it out.

“Nah, it’s the classics, the best will always be Space Mountain.” He took the NASA cap off again, turning it backward when the three of you got outside and he did it all without letting go of your hand. Impressive fella, wasn’t he?

“Sorry to burst your bubble but Space Mountain sucks, at least here in Florida. My knees hurt just thinking about it.” You faked a shudder, also making a face for good measure.

“Oh, them be fighting words!” Chris tickled your side making you squirm and laugh.

Shanna reappeared a few seconds later, asking where to next.

You’re having way too much fun but didn’t want to intrude and started to say goodbye when both Shanna and Chris protested.

“No, no, come with us, you don’t need to hang out alone, what’s the fun in that?” Chris was right by your side when you turned to leave. He cocked his head to the side, beckoning you back to him.

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I don’t want to impose or anything.”

“Believe me when I say I don’t do anything I don’t want to. Come on.” His little hand wave calling you to him was enough to give you butterflies in your belly as you took his hand, lacing your fingers together.

“Again I ask, where to?” Shanna pulled free the sweater she had tied around her waist and put it on and you realized that the early December night was indeed a bit chilly but you didn’t have a sweater and Mouse Gears was closed during the extended hours.

“Anyone up for Mission: Space?” Chris wasn’t looking at anyone when he asked but rummaging around the left pocket of his long shorts. With a little ‘aha’ he found what he was looking for and before straightening up now wearing a pair of prescription glasses.

Your uterus may or may not have imploded at the sight, but you’d never tell.

Clearing your throat, you shook your head.

“You guys go ahead, if I set foot inside one of those enclosed capsules after 11 drinks in three hours, I’ll make the girl in The Exorcist look like she just burped a little.”

Scott guffawed, doubling over, hands on his knees. “Oh, that was fun! Ok, girlie, you’re an okay person, I give whatever this is my blessing!” He moved your hand between you and Chris.

“For fuck’s sake Scott!” Chris groaned, his free hand slapping his forehead.

“Why thank you messier, merci beaucoup.” You took off an imaginary hat to him and he returned the gesture chuckling.

“Don’t go getting your tighty whities in a bunch brother,” Scott grabbed Shanna by the arm and brought her closer to him. “$50 bucks for your sweater, Shanna.”

“No Scott, next time you listen to Mom. I say no to Mission Space, yes to Nemo.” She said looking at Chris.

“Mine.” Scott pulled at her sweater.

“Are they always like this?” you stage whispered to Chris.

“Sometimes I say they’re distant cousins, but the fucker looks way too much like me for that to stick.” He laughed when following Scott and Shanna with his eyes, his brother was running after Shanna screaming ‘mine, mine, mine’ Shanna was doing a great job evading Scott till he faked left and grabbed her by the arm when she tried to go right. “Children!”

“You playing a hot dad next? Might need a few tips from Pratt for that.” The hand that smacked Scott upside the head was Shanna’s. “Watch the hair woman.”

“Just how much sugar have you guys had so far?” You could barely keep up with them, but they were fun to be around. Like oversized retriever puppies. Times a million or something.

“Not enough Miss Connections, but I’ll have the tea anyway.” Scott fell into step next to you as you walked by Fountain of Nations.

“You speak gay? Are you and my friend Corey cut from the same cloth my dear Scott?” you ask and he laughs next to you.

“Sparkly lumberjack? Hell yes. Now come on, gimme, I hate cold tea.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about and I don’t think I want to know.” Chris shook his head. What a sweet beautiful Labrador, you just wanted to eat him up with a spoon.

“He wants to know what’s my job with Disney.”

“Oh, in that case, I wanna know too. What gives?”

“I’m one of the four VPs for Media and Public Relations.” You proudly say. You had worked hard for that job, starting as rider operator way back then, putting yourself through college while working long hours under the hot Floridian sun.

“Oh, fancy. I thought you worked here, you seen to know everyone.” Scott commented.

“I worked here for 15 years. Ride operator, character handler, parade dancer…” she lowered her voice, “I was also friends with my namesake and Snow White for two years as well.”

“You’re friends with Belle? Oh, OH!” Chris’ eyes widened. “You’ve played the princesses.”

“Never, ever say that.” You looked around. “You say Marvel has snipers but so does Disney! All princess and characters are real; we just get to be friends with them. Know what I mean?”

“Sorry! I consider myself pretty versed in Disney speak but I never heard that one before.”

“Yeah, manly cast members know that one.” You agreed. “After I graduated I worked my way up to Media Relations here in Orlando and two years ago I finally got my dream job, and I’ve been in Los Angeles since then. I work with promotions, social media, and influencers. It’s a pretty sweet job.”

“Need an assistant?” Shanna asked as you entered the line for Nemo. “That sounds pretty rad!”

“Do you have any experience in PR?”

You separated into two groups when the cast member asked ‘how many’, Chris and Scott, you and Shanna. You entered your shell with the brunette still talking about a possible job and what she’d need to get it.

On the other shell, Chris looked confused.

“Did she just ditched me?” He asked his brother dumbfounded.

Scott laughed and shook his head.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” He laughed again. “Welcome to the real world brother! Not everyone will fawn over you, as hard it is to believe it!”

“I thought we’re hitting it pretty well,” he got comfortable on the ride vehicle, taking off his hat so he could see the aquariums and screens where Dory, Marlin, and Nemo played, “did I read it all wrong?”

“Nah, she’s into you as well, as far as I could see.” Scott nodded. “She strikes me as a sisters before misters kinda woman, and she was talking to Shanna while we waited we queued.”

Chris uhmed in agreement.

He hoped you’re not putting up a front for him, because he liked you from the moment he bumped into you at Mouse Gears. He saw the moment you realized who he was but you had been pretty cool so far, and besides the sniper comment, you hadn’t made a big deal out of it. Definitely a breath of fresh air, it had been a while since he could be himself outside his immediate circle of friends. The fact you knew that joke told him you had seen some of his or his co-star interviews but as you worked handling the media and social media accounts for Disney he believed seeing footage of his movies was part of your job and that put his mind at ease and he decided to give that little spark between you a chance.

You were beautiful, full heart-shaped lips, long mahogany hair, aquamarine eyes, and a soft but toned body. He wanted to get to know you better, see if you felt the same connection he did.

The ride reached the end and he saw you getting out, still talking to Shanna.

“I mean it, send it to me, I’ll see what I can do.”

“The fact that I’d have to move to Los Angeles is a concern, but that kind of job would be fun. Thanks, Belle, I’ll think about it.”

“You’re most welcome. But don’t forget, I can only get your foot inside the door, you’d have to walk whenever you want to be by yourself.” You saw Chris and Scott approaching and a huge smile broke up on your face. “How about we go fly around the world?”

“Yes, finally! Soarin’ has been calling my name since we left Test Track!” Scott exclaimed.

He linked his arms with Shanna and dragged her along in front of you and Chris.

“He’s not very subtle, is he?” You questioned Chris when he stepped next to you.

Chris laughed and put his baseball cap back on backward. He looked ridiculously handsome, his longish hair escaping on the sides, his black ‘I am smiling’ Grumpy T-shirt stretched along his hard chest and biceps, black and white basketball shorts hugging that delectable ass he had. You licked your lips and gave him your brightest smile when he caught you staring.

“I guess neither is you.” He winked at you and grabbed your hand.

“Yeah, sue me, I refuse to play the virgin giggling girl when I see something I like.”

“Do you see me complaining?”

You shook your head as you play catch up to Shanna and Scott, who were already inside The Land pavilion.

“You never answered when I asked you if this was your last day,” Chris said while you rode the escalator to the lower floor.

“It isn’t; we’re staying for 10 days.” You saw Scott waving you over to the ride entrance. “Why’s that?”

Before Chris had a chance to answer Shanna bellowed.

“Come on slowpokes! We’re wasting time here.”

“Can we go on Living with The Land before Soarin’? I forgot it was open during EMH. I’ve never seen it at night.”

“Oh come on Scott, Living is so boring!” Shanna complained.

“Living with the Land is not boring,” Chris argued back, siding with Scott.

“It is so.”

“Not.”

“Children!” You waved a hand between them and they stopped. “How ‘bout this, we do Soarin’ once, get back to Living and quickly backtrack and do Soarin’ again?”

“Finally, someone with a plan.” Chris clapped. “But do we have time?”

You checked your watch.

“There are 45 minutes left before the park closes, I believe we can make it if we hurry.”

“Let’s do this then.

You hurried up the queue for Soarin’, once again cursing Disney Imaginners for making it so freaking long. There was a decent amount of people in front of you when you got to the split before the theaters. If things were the same there would be only one theater open for the extended hours and with about 150 people on the queue it would take about 10 minutes to get to the front of the line.

Scott lowered his voice.

“Now remember, it’s B1 or nothing alright? I don’t want to look up and see dangling feet in front of me.”

“Ah, a man after my own heart.” You agreed.

“Have you seen the new film? I liked it but I miss the old one.” Chris commented. “I was hoping they’d keep the Soarin’ Over California in Anaheim but they are all the same now.”

“I really like the soaring around the world aspect, but I miss the orange smell. Childhood memories and all that.” You walked over to the line for the first row of the second string of seats, dead center inside the theater. Those were indeed the best seats in the house and you’re surprised Scott knew about them.

“This is not our first rodeo, Miss Connections! We’ve been coming to Disney twice a year for the past thirty plus years, sometimes more if Chris can swing it.” Scott explained. “You’ve probably even seen us before, or operated a ride while we were on it.”

“You’re probably right!” Shanna gasped. “Oh my god, you might even be in our pictures, Belle.”

“No way, I would remember taking pictures with this hot beefcake by my side.” You pointed to Chris making it seem he was showing him off with your hands.

“But would you really?” Chris said in a lower voice. “I barely remember the face of the girl who asked me for a picture this morning at the airport. How many pictures you would take in one day?”

You looked shocked, they did have a point. Could you really be in a picture with Chris and his family?

“There were always two friends taking turns during the set but it was a freaking lot. Akershus alone might make that number reach a thousand during the holidays.”

“I’m pulling all the photo albums from the library when we get back home, I’m really curious right now!”

Shanna looked excited at the prospect of finding you in their family photos, and you tried to jog your memories of thousands of families you met over the years. Chris was right, there was no way you could have remembered them, especially if it was before his Captain America days.

You talked through the whole pre-boarding video and were now being directed to your seats. B1 was a popular choice so Scott played buffer and sat between Chris and the other guest, you sat beside Chris with Shanna by your side. He waited till the cast member checking the seatbelt got to him before removing his hat and sticking it on the bin below his seat.

The ride started and the music swirled around you as the seats were lifted from the ground, making it appear as you were indeed soaring around big blue skies, mountains, and lakes around the world. You smiled as the powerful aroma of roses reached your nose while flying over the Taj-Mahal, giggling when the sea breeze smell reached your nose when you glided over Fiji and squealing when the turned upwards to reach the top of the Eiffel Tower. Soarin’ was probably your favorite ride in all parks and the smile on your face when the ride ended with fireworks over Epcot was a testament to that.

You unbuckled your seatbelt and were one of the first out of the theater, walking so fast a cast member reminded you no running was allowed. Chris sent a sorry his way but your group didn’t slow down, cruising the corridors to get to Living with The Land.

Shanna checked his watch when you got there and cheered when there was only a family of three in line for the boat.

“Ok, guys 27 minutes left. How long is this ride anyway? I want to ride Soarin’ again!”

They all turned to you waiting for an answer.

“20 minutes.” You said and Shanna groaned. “We’re gonna cut close, but as long as we’re inside the queue for Soarin’ before 11 pm they will let us in. We might not get B1 again though.”

“It’s ok, we’re coming back to Epcot to hit more of the food booths anyway, I can live without the best seats for once.” Scott nodded.

You let the family in front of you get on the boat that was docked and waited for the next one. Thankfully there was no one else behind you so you got the next boat all to yourselves.

Scott seated with Shanna, who immediately opened her phone, earning a glare from Scott.

You sat with Chris two rows behind them, Chris entering first and offering you his hand to help you inside the boat.

“Why thank you, Prince Charming.” You accepted his hand, noticing he didn’t let go when you sat beside him. Which suited you just as well because you had your own plans for him.

“I thought I was Prince Adam to your Belle?” He got closer as the boat started its journey through different types of nature scenes, putting his arm around your shoulder as you entered the rain forest and the boat waved a bit.

Oh, he was a smooth one. You grinned at him and scooted a little closer your sides now pressed together.

“You know Adam is not an official name right?”

“That’s not possible, his name’s Adam.” He doubted you.

“Nope, he’s never named during the animation. The actor who voices him is just credited as ‘Beast’.”

You loved Disney Trivia and could quote the most obscure facts and anecdotes about the parks, movies, and Walt’s life.

“Well, my childhood has been ruined. Thank you for that.”

He tickled your sides in retaliation, making you squirm and giggle. When you tried to tickle him back he grabbed your hands and pinned them down between the two of you.

Your laugh subsided when you noticed Chris looking at your lips and you subconsciously licked them because they suddenly felt dry as sandpaper. He looked at your eyes and back to your mouth in a silent question, blue eyes searching your face for what could happen next.

You nod almost imperceptibly and Chris smiles, leaning towards you, full lips slighted parted.

“How much trouble would I be if plucked a miracle fruit from the tree over th… oh my bad!”

Chris curses his brother and you blink away the nervousness that surrounded you.

“Do not try to pick up a berry, that’s cause for revoking your annual pass and you’ll be escorted out of the park.” You speak as you try to control your beating heart.

“No way!”

“I’ve been the one waiting for the poor soul at the end of the ride Scott. Not a very fun part of the job and also so many forms to fill out.”

Maybe it was better this way. You knew you were attracted to each other but all rides were full of cameras, it’d only take one less than honest cast member to sell the footage to TMZ anyway.

Chris didn’t try to kiss you again but kept on holding your hand as the boat glided over the murky water, passing through the suspended hydroponics plants, the self-sustained display with fish and plants and finally reaching the end of the ride.

The boat wasn’t even properly docked and Shanna was already on the move, making a tight turn on the tunnel leading to Soarin’.

You had two minutes to get there before they closed the queue so you hurried over, Chris pulling you along, your legs barely keeping up with his stride.

You entered the line with seconds to spare and as soon as you did the cast member pulled a rope behind you, indicating the end of operation hours.

The four of you laughed while making your way up to concourse C, the only theater that was open.

“I don’t think I’ve run so much at Disney before.” Scott breathlessly said.

“That’s because you have an escort who gets you backstage and takes you to the front of the line! Us mere mortals are the ones queueing for six hours for Flight of Passage.”

“As if you ever waited that long.” Shanna quipped from the front of the line.

“Uhm… who’s to say I didn’t?” You winked at her. Chris looked at you quizzically. “Okay, so maybe I haven’t, but I’ve done the running thing before, I do wonder to the dark side and Escape from Gringotts is almost as bad as Flight of Passage. People run like crazy mofos to get there.”

“You cheat on the Mouse?” Scott put a hand over his heart.

“Say it louder to the people in the back.” You hit him in the shoulder. You turn to one of the corners of the queue, playing as if there was a camera there. You move your hand as if bowing, “It’s all lies oh Big Cheese who reigns supreme and all hear and all see, I’d never cheat on you!”

Chris guffawed, both hands grabbing his chest.

“You’re crazy!” He laughed.

“Shhhhh, you never know who’s listening!” You winked at him.

As it turned out there were only four other people waiting for the last flight of the night and as you approached the end of the line you were directed to B1 anyway, as each row of seats sat 10 people each.

You decided to let all brothers be together and sat on the outside this time, Chris by your side.

He turned to say something to you at the same time you leaned over to let him know there was a hidden Mickey on the flight over Monument Valley and his lips grazed yours. You both paused, surprised at the sudden touch. Then he was kissing you for real, full lips pressed over yours, sending sparks all over your body. He brought his right hand to your neck, holding you close as he deepened the kiss, your lips danced together.

As fast as first kisses went, you ranked this one a solid 13 in a one to five scales. He never pressured you to open your mouth or tried to slip you the tongue, his lips were plump and he moved them with purpose, alternating hard pressed and feathered touches. You opened your eyes when he moved away and he gave you a little nod which you returned, grinning at each other.

The ride was over before you knew it and the cast member was ushering you out, saying good night.

Your little group made your way over World Showcase again, you saying goodnight to all cast members you passed by, thanking them for staying back during Extra Magic Hours.

“You sound sincere too,” Shanna commented as you walked the dark path leading you to Canada.

“That’s because I am. Most of them will have a shift no later than 10 am tomorrow and they won’t leave here for another two hours. Sometimes more. Saying thank you is the least I can do.”

“And could you do more?” Chris inquired.

“I can actually. All visiting cast members fill a form when we get back to work, citing areas we think the parks can improve, what was good, bad and exceptional.”

“That’s cool, I wish we could do something like that,” Chris commented.

“Actually you can. In 2014 we introduced Cast Compliments.” The three of them looked at you, never reading about it before. “Say you wanna say something nice about a particular cast member; you get their name, go on Twitter and tag either @DisneylandToday or @WDWToday using the hashtag CastCompliment. Write their name, location, and your motive. We will print your twit, and take a picture of the cast member with it. They also get a mark on their file. Every 5 marks they receive a monetary bonus.”

“Wow, that’s crazy cool. And you came up with this idea?” Shanna was already on her phone looking up the hashtag. She gave the phone to Chris and he scrolled through the feed, smiling at the amount of love being shared.

“My team and I did, together with HR” you nodded.

“That’s amazing and so thoughtful Belle!” Scott was the one looking at the phone now.

“They are the ones keeping the park running after all.” You smiled.

You reached International Gateway, waving to the guards and everyone said goodnight this time.

The temperature had dropped quite a bit and you shivered, Chris immediately pulling you close and running his hands over your arms. You smiled at him in thanks and asked where they are staying.

“We’re at the Grand, it’s our favorite resort,” Chris answered. “How about you?”

“I’m a DVC member, I’m right over there at the Boardwalk Villas.” You pointed to the red building on the other side of the man-made lake.

“Mind we walked you over to the lobby? That way I know we got back home safely and we can call a Minnie Van?” Chris smiled at you.

“Absolutely!”

You crossed the bridge to Boardwalk Inn in silence, just appreciating each other companies. When you reached the well-manicured lawn of back gardens he stopped you, mentioning for his siblings to go ahead.

He brought you under the canopy of a huge tree, giving you a little privacy from the passersby.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” He inquired, his back leaning on the tree trunk.

“My friend and I have brunch reservations at Boma, so we’ll be at Animal Kingdom till around 11 am. Our fast passes are for Hollywood Studios but they don’t start till 3 pm.”

“Damn, we’re staying at the Magic Kingdom all day, the kids really want to see the parade.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time with your family.” You nodded. It was a shame you would be at different parks but you had fast passes for Slinky Dog Dash and that was one ride, not even you could swing your non-existent badge at the cast member and get in on a whim so you weren’t changing your own plans.

“I will, but I also wanna see you again.” He whined and you giggled, he was the perfect mix of gorgeous man and little boy and the butterflies in your belly certainly agreed. “MK closes at six for the Christmas Party though, and we’re not going till Tuesday. Mind if I join you after we leave?”

“I’d love to see you again too, so I don’t mind it at all. Word of warning though, Corey will freak out, even with me telling him you’ll be joining us, so come prepared.”

“How bad are we talking about?” Chris sighed. You had been so cool-headed about everything, almost no one recognized him today and now your friend was almost guaranteed to make a scene.

“I’ll try to prep him over carbs while we have brunch, but he’ll stare and be mute for a while.” You told Chris the truth. Corey had a major crush on both Chris and Sebastian Stan and was a diehard Stucky shipper. That would be an interesting conversation to have.

“As long as he doesn’t draw attention, I can deal with some staring.” Chris acquiesced. He wanted to spend more time with you, see if there was anything else besides physical attraction drawing him in.

He pulled out his phone and asked for your number before sending you a text so you could have his.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” You looked over at him with a little smile. You started walking backward still holding his hand.

“Not so fast!”

Chris pulled you back so fast you fell on his chest with a little oomph. He tilted your head up with two fingers and his lips descended on yours, kissing you long and hard. You gripped the sides of his T-shirt, hands digging on his waist as he held your head closer to him, one hand bunching up your hair, the other touching your neck and cheek in slow circles. You felt his soft beard brushing your skin, heightening your pleasure. A warm feeling spread all over you and you melted into Chris, parting your lips slightly. When his tongue skimmed yours you kissed him harder, tongues touching languidly.

You had been kissed quite well in the past but Chris was definitely the best one so far, he maintained full body contact and he kissed you like he had nothing else to do for the rest of his life. He pulled your lower lip as he broke the kiss, his thumb caressing the bite while he alternated between nips and kisses over your chin and neck.

Your hands got under his T-shirt and ran over the hard v on his waist, circling it to press your thumbs on the dimples on the small of his back. Your fingers touched his back vehemently, nails dragging a line just under the band of his shorts. He rocked against you and you felt him pressed against your belly, your hands itching to get closer.

“God, you’re beautiful.” He whispered against your skin. “I want to take you back to my room and kiss you all over and see if the rest of you are as soft as your lips.”

You shivered again and you weren’t sure if it was the draft wind or your reaction to his words, but you’d put good money on the latter. You felt your hardened nipples and the damp spot in your underwear and a quick look down was enough to see the hard on the basketball shorts could barely conceal. You definitely clicked on a physical level, never a kiss had such an impact on you before.

Your brain took over as you remembered you’re in a public space and you took a little step back, just enough so you could think straight.

“Maybe this is enough for one night.” You exhaled hard, trying to clear your head.

Chris nodded, he never lost control so quickly with anyone before, you barely touched his skin and he was almost rutting you to the ground right by Disney’s Boardwalk.

“Right, you’re right.” He kissed your forehead before pushing himself off the tree trunk and adjusting himself as best as he could. “Want me to walk you to your room?”

“I’m good, let’s not tempt faith, shall we?”

You had rented a two-bedroom suite so you and Corey could have more privacy, so it wouldn’t be hard to sneak Chris back to your room, lock the door and spend the rest of the night learning each other’s body.

He nodded and rested his head over your shoulder. You stayed like that till his phone vibrated on his pocket.

“That was Scott, Minnie van is here.” Chris looked over from his phone. “Thank you for today, for hanging out with me, I really liked it. I really liked you, Belle.”

“I really liked you too Chris.” You pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, hugging him for good measure.

“I’ll text you and we can work out the details for tomorrow ok?” He said while hugging you back.

“Alright.”

Neither of you moved and his phone ringed.

Chris rolled his eyes when he answered.

“I’m on my way meathead, give me one second. No, he won’t leave, you know they can wait for a while. Alright, I’m going, Jesus, hold your damn horses.”

You giggled and let go of him, telling him to go.

“Bye princess Belle.”

With a quick peck on your lips, he was off, taking the stairs to the main floor two at a time.

You stayed at the same spot till he disappeared upstairs before making your way to the Villas side of the Boardwalk, quickening up your pace to get away from the cold air.

Entering your room, you sighed against the door as you closed it.

This had been indeed the most special Extra Magic Hour you ever spent at EPCOT and you couldn’t wait to see what tomorrow would bring.

#Chris Evans Fanfic #Chris Evans Fan Fic #Chris Evans Fanfiction #Chris Evans x OFC #Chris Evans #Chris Evans x Reader #Chris Evans x You #HAMDFic

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henryandalex · 5 years

Text

MALEC ADVENT CALENDAR 2018 | December 5th by @hourglassmermaid | ao3 | twitter

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

The streets of New York are illuminated by a soft winter’s glow. A light dusting of snow covers cars and buildings in a frigid blanket, but the brisk wind flowing through the city uproots it into a silvery tornado that twinkles under the street lights. Magnus watches the way the snow puffs up and falls back to earth, his breath ghosting out in icy huffs.

He adjusts his scarf so it covers his nose, fixes his earmuffs to try and drown out the bar crawl behind him, and stuffs his gloved hands into his pockets. He’s chilled to the bone, and by this point, the only thing keeping him on his feet is his patented blend of five shots of espresso and Christmas cheer (the Irish cream in his pocket flask).

The chorus of drunken chatter dies down as Magnus ducks into his favorite corner liquor store. He nods at the clerk and heads directly to the wine section. His eyes dart from bottle to bottle as he mouths out the brand names silently to himself, trying to settle on something inoffensive that will please the majority.

He can’t remember what Isabelle likes; it’s been so long since they last found time to go out for drinks after their lectures. And so much has happened since… It’s been awhile.

He wants to bring something that she’ll enjoy. Not something she’ll pull a face at and banish to the back of her refrigerator. He vaguely recalls her sipping on a red one night while they were trading horror stories from their freshman Gen Chem lab sections. She got so into her dramatic retelling of the time she had a student break their buret during a titration that she spilled her glass all over the lab reports they were supposed to be grading. Magnus’ stomach drops at the memory.

His finger traces over the embossed letters on a bottle of nice Merlot. Full-bodied flavor. Notes of black cherry and currant. Elegant. Very Isabelle. Hopefully she likes it — or at least doesn’t hate it. But it’s better than arriving empty handed.

Magnus checks the time on his phone. He’s really pushing it on arriving fashionably late and drifting into blatantly late with each new tick, but he needs to check on something before he cashes out and journeys back into the tundra.

His feet guide him towards that familiar aisle, and his hands reach out towards that same spot on the shelf. Muscle memory is an incredible phenomenon. Magnus turns the bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon over in his hands. He hasn’t had a glass of this in almost a year now.

He thinks of candlelit dinners and hushed whispers between silk sheets. Picnics on the beach and movie nights spent in an oversized armchair. The crackle of a warm fire and the feeling of soft fur against bare skin.

He squeezes the neck of the bottle a little tighter.

He remembers broken glasses and slammed doors. Tear stained papers and missed calls. An abandoned key in his kitchen drawer and the sound of a plane flying off into the distance.

There’s no point in buying the bottle. Isabelle assured Magnus that he wouldn’t be there tonight. In fact, that’s the only reason why Magnus agreed to make an appearance.

He pays for both bottles at the counter anyway and tucks the brown paper bag under his arm before heading out into the bitter night air. Magnus justifies the purchase by telling himself that maybe Isabelle drinks the same wine as her brother, but his heart knows the truth better than his misplaced excuses.

He takes refuge in the lobby of Isabelle’s building, shutting out the cold behind him. Magnus glances around at the chipped beadboard, scuffed linoleum, and peeling paint. It’s all so familiar and yet so foreign simultaneously — a place he once knew but where he no longer belongs.

He presses the button next to Isabelle and Clary’s names, and someone buzzes him inside a moment later. He climbs up the rickety stairs until he reaches their floor. Magnus wanders down the hallway and double checks the text Isabelle sent him with her apartment number. It feels wrong that he no longer knows it by heart. The worst part of everything was losing Isabelle.

Neither of them have admitted it, but it’s true nonetheless — their new normal. Even though Magnus and Isabelle were friends long before he and Magnus ever met, Magnus lost her when he lost him.

Magnus hesitates as he winds up to knock on her door. She invited him here. She wants him here. He sucks in a deep breath and turns the knob.

“Magnus!” Isabelle’s uncharacteristically high voice squeals. She stumbles as she pulls him into a hug. “You made it! Come in, come in!”

“Merry Christmas,” Magnus greets, patting her on the back. “This is for you by the way.” He hands her one of the wine bottles.

“Merlot? You remembered!”

The relief pouring off of Magnus is palpable. “How could I forget?”

Isabelle takes his arm and shimmies through the crowd of her friends and some of their colleagues who are all dancing to “All I Want For Christmas is You” and scream-singing along. Magnus spots Isabelle’s bullheaded adopted brother laying it on far too thick for a few disinterested women and Clary’s tangle of fiery red curls as she kneels down on the carpet, helping Simon’s band set up for the party. She waves at him from across the room, and Magnus flashes her a smile and a head nod.

Isabelle leads him towards the drink table and shoves a glass of eggnog that smells deceptively more like rum than nutmeg into his hands. She pours a glass for herself.

“A toast,” Isabelle slurs, raising her glass so some of the liquid sloshes out of the top. “to old friends.”

Magnus clinks his glass against hers and winces as he takes a tentative sip. It’s strong, even for him.

“And I believe congratulations are in order?” Magnus says, choking down the burn. “Future Mrs. Clary Fairchild.”

Isabelle beams, her whole face dissolving into the most beautiful smile as she wiggles her fingers to flaunt her custom engagement ring. The rose gold band accented with a delicate pattern of tiny diamonds and princess cut white sapphire almost shines as bright as the love shared between these two exceptional women.

Isabelle recounts in vivid detail how and where Clary proposed as they drift towards the entryway to her balcony, the doors propped open to cool down the tightly packed room.

“We were at her new gallery opening, and—”

“Magnus.”

The rest of the world melts away and Magnus’ senses are flooded with nothing but Alec. He smells of the same sandalwood cologne Magnus gave him last year for his birthday. The rough sound of his voice as he breathes out Magnus’ name takes Magnus’ breath away, and somehow, he looks even more gorgeous than the last time Magnus saw him. His hair’s a fluffy mess, he sports some soft stubble on his chin, and the light green of his service uniform brings out the piercing green of the hazel eyes he has locked on Magnus.

“Alexander.”

Magnus has lived through this exact moment so many times before it’s like he’s playing out a distant dream or an old memory. The overwhelming sense of deja vu breaks him of his daze as if he had been splashed with ice water.

Magnus tugs at the hem of Isabelle’s blouse, leaning in close to whisper, “I thought you said he wasn’t going to be here.”

Isabelle pulls away. “Ya know, I think I hear Clary in the kitchen! She probably needs help with the devilled eggs!”

Magnus reaches out to her as she hurries towards the kitchen, gulping down the rest of her eggnog as she disappears into the crowd. Magnus leans up against the french doors, trying to slow down his heartbeat to a rate that wouldn’t alarm his PCP. Once he’s satisfied that he won’t pass out in front of his past lover, Magnus plasters on a brave face and steps out onto the balcony.

“Aren’t you cold out here?”

Magnus, we need to talk.

“I’m wearing layers under my uniform.”

What’s on your mind, Angel?

Magnus nods. “I see now why your sister didn’t take my coat.”

Alec shakes his head, gripping the metal railing a little harder. “Yeah, she told me she had a surprise for me.”

“That definitely sounds like Isabelle.” Magnus walks over to the edge of the balcony and rests his elbows on the railing beside Alec. He’s close enough to touch, but Magnus gave up that privilege a year ago. “What are you doing here? I didn’t think you’d be home for another year.”

I want you to come with me.

“I’m on leave for the next two weeks.” Alec shifts around so his back is pressed against the railing and tilts his head towards the sky. The flurries swirl around in the air and cascade down onto the porch. A few isolated snowflakes land in his dark hair and glimmer in the moonlight. He looks like an angel.

I’m not going to put my career on hold to follow you.

“It’s nice that they let you come home for Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Alec agrees. “How’s your semester going? Izzy told me you just got published in the Journal of Biochemistry, so uh, congratulations.”

“She knows about my paper?”

“Why wouldn’t she?” Because they only ever talk anymore when Magnus is carrying a fresh cup of coffee back to his office, and she’s heading into her lab.

“We… haven’t had much time lately to catch up.”

“Yeah, she’s been busy.” Alec swipes his tongue over his top lip, and Magnus feels the phantom warmth of his kiss, the soft, plush feel of his mouth against Magnus’.

A silence lingers between them, far more chilly than the weather. What do you say to the person who once knew you better than anyone but now might as well be a shadow?

Alec shifts his weight from foot to foot trying to circulate some warmth throughout his hulking form and stumbles on the slick landing, accidentally elbowing Magnus in the side and banging his wrist on the railing. He apologizes profusely as Magnus helps steady him; his breath tickles Magnus’ skin and sends a shiver down his spine.

Alec nurses his arm, rubbing over the spot where he collided with Magnus. “Damn, do you have a brick in your pocket?”

“No, actually. Believe it or not,” Magnus teases. He reaches into his coat pocket and draws out the brown paper bag.

Alec raises his scarred eyebrow at the package, and Magnus’ heart thumps against his ribs. Alec knows of his vices better than most, finding Magnus slumped over on the kitchen floor, open bottle of whiskey on his right and unusable data on the left, more times than Magnus cares to admit. Sometimes Magnus thinks that Alec’s the only reason he finished his PhD, helping him through panic attacks over failed experiments, going into the lab with him on weekends and sitting quietly while Magnus worked, and encouraging him every step of the way when Alec believed in him more than Magnus believed in himself. But that was in the past. Magnus has it under control now. Mostly.

Magnus crumples the paper to give Alec a peek at its contents. He flashes Magnus one of his gorgeous, crooked smiles, and Magnus’ legs almost give out from under him. Coming here was a bad idea.

“My favorite.”

“Do you want some?”

They pop the bottle with the corkscrew on Alec’s Swiss Army knife and pass it between them like high schoolers beneath the bleachers during a football game.

“I always thought this wine suited you,” Magnus says.

“Really?” How so?” Alec asks in between sips.

Magnus smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and leans farther out onto the railing, looking off into the night sky. “Classic. Bold. Pairs well with a nice steak.” He laughs to himself. “Dry on the surface but sweet underneath.”

“You know,” Alec says, swallowing down another swig. “You look incredible tonight.” He pauses. “You always do.”

Magnus motions for the bottle. “You as well.” He takes a sip.

A strong gust of wind whistles through the air, harmonizing with the distant sirens and horns below, and the party rages on behind them. From the sounds of it, Simon has started his set and is playing a Punk Goes Pop style cover of “Last Christmas.”

At the same time Magnus says, “I’m sorry about what happened,” Alec says, “I was out of line last year.”

There’s nervous laughter and awkward glances and fumbling around. Alec grips at the back of his neck. “It was selfish of me to expect you to drop everything to come with me. I’m sorry.”

Magnus plays with the cold metal of the silver ear cuff he’s wearing. “It was an amazing opportunity, and I’m sorry that I made you feel guilty for accepting it. Do you like Berlin?”

“Not nearly as much as I loved being at home with you in New York.” He steps into Magnus’ orbit, but Magnus is the one caught in his gravity.

“Alexander,” Magnus warns.

“I know we’re not together, and I know it’s my fault, but screw it, I need you to know,” He takes another step, brushing his fingers against Magnus’ cheek, and Magnus leans into his warm caress. “that I never stopped caring about you.”

“I waited for you. I didn’t mean to, but I did.”

“You didn’t have to,” Alec whispers. “I never expected you to—”

Magnus curls his fingers around Alec’s and gives them a gentle squeeze. “You’ve had my heart for so long that I couldn’t imagine it with someone else.”

Magnus hears the shudder in Alec’s breath and his sharp gasp and is relieved to know that he’s not the only one who forgot how to breathe.

“I love you.”

Alec leans in and presses his lips to Magnus’ and for the first time in almost a year, Magnus feels at home. Magnus’ eyelids flutter shut, and he kisses back with all that he has, revelling in how very right, how very safe it feels to be back in Alec’s arms.

Magnus doesn’t open his eyes when they part.

“I love you too.”

It’s a promise. A promise that this time things will be different — they’ll be different. And Magnus is ready to try.

“Merry Christmas, Magnus.”

“Merry Christmas, Alexander.”

#hourglassmermaid #malec #shadowhunters #malec fic #mac18 #mac18:fic

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dailytechnologynews · 5 years

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AMD, take your community seriously.

So, the past two years seem to have gone quite well for AMD with the release of Zen and Vega for both desktop platforms and mobile in addition to releasing the RX590 and teasing upcoming processors based on the 7nm architecture.

But there's one forgotten child it seems in your current-gen product line which is Ryzen Mobile APUs. But before we get to those, let's make it clear that with the rumored release of that Surface Pro with an AMD APU and the latest MacBook Pros using Vega 16 and Vega 20 GPUs, there is hope for us getting better drivers as those are devices built by brands that don't tolerate such a mess with drivers.

Now what AMD currently doesn't seem to understand is that we aren't ranting on their lack of driver support and their toleration for what OEMs are doing to basically butcher Ryzen Mobile APUs, but we're trying to help them. I personally wouldn't invest this much time on intel/nVidia because I know that those people don't respond well to community requests, but I always had the feeling that AMD listened to their community, which is why I've made all these posts and tweets in the past.

What the community wants, after trusting this company for such a long time - I mean, let's be honest, Vega was a slight disappointment for those who were expecting something to beat the GTX1080Ti and Ryzen totally loses out to intel in the gaming department, not to say that those products are bad, just to say that to some they are underwhelming and don't pose much of a threat for those who mainly game on their systems.

Ryzen Mobile

Now if we get back to the situation with Ryzen Mobile, which is something a lot worse than we've ever seen before and here are the reasons.

Target

Ryzen Mobile APUs were clearly targeted at people who wanted three things: a fairly slim system, something affordable and most importantly, something that could play most titles at decent settings. In terms of hardware, Ryzen Mobile delivered. The Vega 10 GPU in the Ryzen 7 2700U APU is actually capable of keeping up with the very common MX150 in even 14" systems without being as limited by cooling and power as the MX150 would be in most ultrabooks, but then came the OEMs and decided to turn this amazing 25W chip into a 15W chip that only stands a chance against the 10W MX150 and throttles like crazy.

Stability

Now fine, Ryzen Mobile doesn't perform as well as it could've, software can change that whenever the AMD driver team feels like implementing some more modern technologies. But then comes the stability. I've talked to a lot of people using Ryzen Mobile systems, and we aren't even talking about mid-range or low-end systems here like those single-channel RAM IdeaPads from Lenovo, I've talked to people using ThinkPads, Dells and worst of all HP EliteBooks that report the same issues I've found to occur on my system, ranging widely from random freezing to entire system crashes.

Performance

Not to mention that advanced users, and gamers for that matter, will notice that Ryzen Mobile suffers from some other serious issues including but not limited to memory leaks, throttling (power and heat - STAPM), resolution bugs and screen flickering when using Vari-Bright. I've made previous posts explaining the issues better, so there's no need to repeat what I've said again.

HW acceleration

The issues I mentioned are just the worst of the bunch, I didn't even touch on the fact that VLC doesn't work, most programs don't support proper HW acceleration and games run like shit when compared to using sideloaded drivers that aren't even designed for these chips!

Now again, stability is something I personally put above all else, it shows in the way I've overclocked previous systems and spent a ridiculous amount of money on a system with the Ryzen-PRO chip as I was expecting an enterprise-grade notebook to be stable. I wouldn't have minded a loss of performance if it were at the cost of stability, because a system crashing during an exam is just unacceptable for me. My demands in performance could easily be met by these chips, but at the current state of the drivers stability isn't and can't be.

Solution

What AMD needs to see is that we're doing this out of passion for the company, not because there isn't another option, as /u/Optilasgar has made clear with his comments in the past, that there are many good alternatives, even if at a slight price for either worse build quality or higher expenditures. I've made tens of posts over the internet, and really think that you guys should spend some time and money on improving the drivers as these chips are the future. Even if the 3000-Series turns out to be a success, people will remember what happened on mobile and that you didn't listen to the community when you should've which would be really sad to see.

As a brand that relies on it's smaller community, you should really take this seriously and update the drivers in addition to distributing them on your website, like I've explained briefly in my video on this issue and I think we should hear a proper official statement with an apology for the long time we've had to wait.

I've heard the argument that AMD just released Ryzen Mobile to fund longer-term products, and technically understand it, but with the name Ryzen Desktop has gotten in the past year, I feel like properly supporting Ryzen Mobile is the right thing to do as damaging Ryzen's or even worse - your own - name isn't the right thing to do when you have such a chance against intel/nVidia in a long time now. I agree that it takes time to make drivers and that convincing OEMs is hard, but Ryzen Mobile is extremely innovative and something a large part of the community wants as it covers a lot of use-cases in a nice, balanced package.

Microsoft seems to be pushing UWDs, so those should be an option for you guys to develop drivers that would nearly force the OEMs to create profiles so that we get updated drivers and the OEMs still have their configurations saved in some files somewhere so that features like the backlighting, touchscreen and others still work after we get the new drivers and driver software! I made a post explaining what UWDs are, so if you're interested in that, take a look at it here.

EDIT:

If you're interested in our past efforts on this topic, be sure to check out mine and /u/BadReligion's Twitter, YouTube and profile as we made tons of submissions that actually led to AMD responding to our efforts.

#hardware #Computer #Technology #Tech #News

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rndyounghowze · 3 years

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Susan Cinoman’s “Period Piece” Draws First Blood With 36 Storytellers and 12 Performers

@periodpieceplay Gave us a wide range of stories on a topic that is usually just seen as “lady problems” @susancinoman @kcdirector

By Dana and Ricky Young-Howze

Los Angeles, California

Venmo: @rndyounghowze

Review 224

We were prepared to let this night of short plays about periods pass us by. Period Piece conceived by Susan Cinoman was a hot commodity with a rolling list of performers every night that spanned the space of three weekends. Try as we might we couldn’t get permission to the first or the third nights. Then we got an invite from Kristina Wong, one of the performers in the show, who came through for us right at the buzzer. While we didn’t get to see all three weeks we came in with certain expectations. None of those expectations came out with us after the show. This team of theatre artists led by Director Karen Carpenter went on to wow us in every single way. Let’s start from the beginning...

Better Than Elephant Dung

By: Jacquelyn Reingold

Reingold set the tone by having a super tampon to start the night. Geneva Carr is someone who has been on our radar for a bit and the way she made the character both relatable and funny was a real feat. It makes me laugh even now to think that the one thing that The Man of Steel can’t handle is the thought of period blood. It served to highlight the frailty of toxic masculinity in a fun way.

Cramps Services

By: Maria Elena Rodriguez

This was the first time we saw Kristina Wong acting in a show that wasn’t hers and it was so fun! It showed the kind of range and comedic talent that makes her one of our favorites. The play highlights the fierce dedication and technical knowledge needed to supply every person that menstruates with the products they need to just get by. This is usually a world that is invisible to the cis males of this planet. I love the way they lifted the veil. Using the backdrop of buying for craft services was genius. The hierarchy of chips to pads is something I wasn’t ready for.

Prayers To Menstruatia

By Destry Spielberg

One can often define their period by things that they can’t do. Can’t wear what you want, can’t go out where you want, the pain! It was really great to find a writer that was willing to put these things in the context of a new found freedom. Finally able to go out during the pandemic then hit by the period gods. However if feeling powerful and beautiful is embraced nothing can stop you. Destry explores the things that have been gained at the end of the pandemic and it is more than water weight.

Waiting on Womanhood

By: Ngozi Anyanwu

I really resonated with this one. Bleeding must mean death. If it doesn’t you must at least be punished in some way by the patriarchal system. The part I really resonate with is that being a woman means being watched with all these eyes on you. Candace Boahene gave us a remarkable performance that packed a lot of heart into a very small space. Ngozi created a scene that gave us the perspective of another culture in the capsule of a young student wondering about the future. Growing up could prevent her from doing and being all this young girl could be. It was important to put in to context periods globally.

Day 22

By Rhiana Yazzie

Kimberly Guerrero is very funny yet very frank in this piece. Not many people see their period as their friend. For some people it may be their oldest friend. No matter what you think you definitely do notice when it’s missing. Thanks to Yazzie for shining a light on how hyper aware people who menstruate are about any and all things period.

Way More Scary

By: Nicole Lynn Evans

Add this to one of the subjects that we didn’t think were going to be covered during the evening. Ricky’s mom is in a chair and was raised to be very proactive and proud about periods. This was very familiar and very cathartic and honest. Nicole Lynn Evans spared nothing from her straight and to the point take on the issue. When we talk equality and rights our disabled people often get left behind. Periods add another layer to that. We need to be open and honest about periods and disability to make change.

Zooey Deschanel Wants To Save The Cows, And I Want To Know Why My Abdomen Hurts

By: Jaimie Jarrett

We loved seeing a trans period moment. Jaimie Jarrett was killing us with lines like “trans is just a fun way to misspell trauma”. As two beings that fall under the trans umbrella we really appreciated it. In fact we were really expecting a lot of “bleeding equals female” in the night. I’m so happy that this show went out there and got the perspective of all people who menstruate and talked about the PTSD and the physical and mental toll dealing with this can have on them, on us.

Glorify! (the messy parts)

By: Christina Anderson

Sometimes plays need to bring up chicken dung to get their story across. Adriane Lenox took us wonderfully from rescuing a wedding dress from period blood (that’s a horror story and a half) to bringing us a charming story about throwing crap. We love seeing Black female professionals onstage and we are so grateful to have seen her.

A Really Good Lubricant

By Lally Katz

Now all of us know that sex and periods are fabled far and wide to be mutually exclusive. Others think you have to make a mess to make it any fun. Carissa Kosta sold this monologue of a woman walking that knife edge of not wanting to disappoint a potential lover but also really wanting him to leave. The part that gave Ricky chills up their spine was Kosta saying “thank God” at the end. The last thirty seconds of the play told the entire story. It was really one of the strongest of the night.

Flash Of An Eye

By Elaine Romero

Ricky has known some gymnasts and thinks that they are the most serious athletes alive. Carmen Carrera struck all of the notes you get from a gymnastics coach: dead serious, brutally honest, but also supportive. Romero painted us a great picture of a world that showed us the dark side of what most people call a dainty world. Stuff like using Tampons to keep uniforms clean, describing the massive changes going on in young athlete’s bodies, and even addressing the superstitions of their parents show that this is a different and crazy world than what we see on ESPN.

Interview With A Punk Goddess

(A fable 4 bloody sisters everywhere)

By Caridad Svich

I had no idea what a punk goddess is before but now I’m wondering where I can sign up. Caridad Svich made being a bloody beautiful monster seem so cool! Lauren Patten nailed the piece. You have a woman in a job interview which should be one of the worst places to get a period. Instead she flips the script and becomes a powerful being who tells people what she wants and that they’re going to give it. Amazing writing.

All The Shades Of Red: 13, 35, 45, 46

By Sarah Ruhl

We can’t even begin to tell you anything about miscarriages. We don’t even have the vocabulary and the language to talk about it. Sarah Ruhl pulled back the curtain on this dark and intimate world. Jessica Hecht was the perfect person to act as our handhold through the different moments of a life and how periods fell into it. Sarah Ruhl showed how our lives can be marked by these weird red milestones, the toll they can take on us, and how we look on the other side.

It’s a shame that we still need to have a feminist equality conversation around how humans bleed. That fact that this is a touchy subject for some, intimately personal for others, and a thing to be reviled by the patriarchy in the twenty-first century is atrocious. We’re so glad that these artists came together as one to address all the different intricacies around this issue. Every piece of this night was unique and different. In our experience it has been rare where we see a showcase with each piece centered around a theme and it does not hit the same monotone note every time. I was expecting a lot of “I am bleeding hear me roar” but it wasn’t that. In fact it hit a lot of different notes. We were so afraid that it would not encompass the whole spectrum of people who menstruate and it did. We were so shocked and relieved. Here’s to a show about periods and blood exceeding our expectations.

Check the Project Out For Yourself Here

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theeastcollective-blog1 · 6 years

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We are very excited to welcome our newest interview with the talented creative, podcaster, graphic designer Zu also known as BookofZu, @Ghetto004! We love everything about this feature and hope you enjoy it just as much as we do! ______________________________________________ 1) Tell us a little about yourself? My name is Zubair (pronounced zoo-bear) or Zu for short. I’ve said this before on the first episode of my podcast “Book of Zu” but during primary school, kids used to make the joke that I was a bear from the zoo because of my name. At that point, it used to bother me, but I was so young, so how could it not? Now, I use that to explain to people how my name is pronounced. But looking back at it, these times it was the kids that used to roll up to school in the morning with their mouths stained with wotsits (orange, cheesy crisps or chips, if you’re American). You come to school looking a mess, your mouth stained and stinking and you want to come and give me energy?? Tell your mama to brush your teeth and tongue; beloved. Your mouth smells like ass juice at 8 o’frickin-clock in the morning and you make teasing my name your first priority? Rotten mouts. But I’d be angry too if my mum hated me enough to not make me a proper breakfast, cereal is £1, beloved. I’m a Moroccan-Londoner, born and raised here in the U.K. The atmosphere is different in Morocco. I’m from Casablanca, which is a coastal city facing the Atlantic ocean. Casablanca means “white house” in Spanish because….colonialism but let’s not get into that before my wig flies off. Moroccans call it either “Casa” or “Dar L’bida” which also means “white house”. I’m also from Fes, which is an inner city, which means no beach, sadly but it makes up for that in rich history. A lot of my favourite childhood memories were made in Morocco, I’m one of 5 children, Allahumabarek. We used to drive to Morocco from London, in our seven seater, with enough stuff to give to a whole neighbourhood. You’re probably wondering “drive??? To Morocco??! From London??!”, absolutely. We’d either drive from London to Dover, get a ferry to Calais and drive from the north of France to the south into Spain, then after driving for almost 2 days, we’d arrive at Algeciras in Spain and get a ferry to Tangier, which is in northern Morocco. The other way we’d get there is, driving to Portsmouth from London and getting a 30-36 hour ferry to Bilbao in Spain and then followed by a 12 hour drive to the south and then getting a ferry into Morocco from Algeciras. I never used to appreciate the scenery as a child because I’d be fighting with my siblings telling them not to put their feet on my seat and then amidst all that fighting my mama would be screaming and then instruct my dad to pull-over, so she can get us TOGETHER and she did. Then she’d choose someone to sit in her seat, it was like being upgraded from where they store luggage in a plane to first class. If I got chosen, I’d give my siblings the devil stare and silently laugh, then they’d snitch and I’d put on my poker face. I’m petty like that, now stop being bitter and kickback into that cramped seat you’re in pretending to be luggage, whilst I stretch my legs in the front. But the last time we drove to Morocco was in 2015, this time just me and my dad. The scenery through France and Spain is breath-taking. Especially during sun rise, honey-golden amber rays of sunlight covering cascading mountains and rock formations. The air crisp, light and refreshing but pleasantly cool in temperature. But we have a big family Allahumabarek, so the car came in handy, we didn’t have to pay for taxi’s, coaches; nothing. But I’ll put a plug in this for now. 2) How would you describe your podcasts ? Good question. I don’t like to put myself in boxes but if I had to put my podcast in a category, I’d say culture and society. Culture and society is such an umbrella topic with endless sub-topics. If I had to describe it in three words, I’d say: unfiltered, eccentric and authentic. I feel like these days we lack genuine and sincere content, everybody wants to be a people-pleaser but truth be told, you can never please everyone. You left uni because your heart wasn’t in it? People will say you’re lazy and unambitious. You completed uni and got a good paying job that takes up a large portion of your time? People will say you think you’re too good for them and think you’re better than them. People are going to talk regardless, so you might as well do what you want. So when I record, I’m completely myself, how I talk in real life, is how I talk on my podcast. Whoever connects and resonates with my personality, amazing, whoever doesn’t…..moving on. I have more important things to worry about than dwelling on bitter b’s who don’t like me or my content. Important things like, whether I’d like 1 or 2 slices of toast for breakfast. I don’t think about it, don’t care about it, don’t worry about it. I have to be this way otherwise the smallest things would get to me and stop me from progressing. I’m not about to let someone’s dehydrated, ashy opinion lead me to become stagnant. If you follow me on twitter, you know I’ve been screaming “boss and level up, 2k18” with my chest. We’re elevating and uplifting ourselves and deserving others this year. Support your friends 2K18 and if you aren’t whole-heartedly supporting your friends genuinely, then I pity you, supporting and encouraging others doesn’t take anything away from you. But you’re so used to taking from people that the idea of giving back scares you because the only person you care and have ever cared about, is yourself. Now chew on THAT apple. Eat it up. You seem hungry. I’m all about supporting yourself but there’s a big difference between being unapologetically supportive of yourself and being selfish. Don’t, get it twisted. 3) What do you hope to teach others through your podcasts and what inspired you to start ? It always blows my mind when people message me or tell me that my podcast has taught them something or that my words impacted them, because I don’t feel like I’ve done enough for them to deserve that credit. I started my podcast because I felt there was a lack of genuine and authentic content in general. The things I say on my podcast are things I say in my everyday life, If you know me personally, you know I’m this way. I’m not pretending or changing myself so others can like me, because pretending to be someone you’re not is extremely mentally draining. I’m just me, the way I talk, my personality, it’s all me. So to me, all these things that I say are standard for me, it’s not going out of my way, it’s normal for me. The advice I give, is the advice I give to my friends, it’s not extraordinary to me. I just give people the advice that I would have appreciated getting when I was in those situations. What goes around, comes around and Allah SWT is the most fair and if you’re out here being fraudulent and giving people insincere, bare minimum advice, when you’re in that predicament, you’re going to have nobody to turn to. When someone reaches out to you, how you do them, is how you’ll be done. Standard. Don’t give out, what you wouldn’t appreciate receiving. I’m so humbled when people message me and talk to me about how my words have given them strength. That to me, is everything. I’m glad that people feel like they can get from me what they can’t get in the environment they’re in. The first mentions of me starting a podcast were suggested to me by two talented individuals. Hanine, aka @hanxine on twitter, she’s the founder of Nerdy POC, a writer among other creative crafts. She DM’d one day, I still remember, it was while ago and she told me that she thinks I should start a podcast because my personality would be a good fit for it. These times, I didn’t pay much attention to social media but I was so flattered because I was thinking “me?”. Then, Cari aka @cari_artist, a close friend of mine, she’s an amazing singer, her voice is so good it’s disrespectful. She told me, you should really make a podcast, your personality is so entertaining and infectious and again I was like “me?” LMAOO. Please, go and check out their pages on twitter and support!! But if you’ve been following me on twitter, you know that I’ve made threads on things people necessarily may not want to talk about, I say what I want, how I want and I’m not sorry about it. I also have had my curious cat open for ages because people reach out sometimes wanting advice on things and the fact it’s anonymous makes it easier for them. But all those posts get lost in a sea of tweets. So, I thought, I’m already speaking about these things, why don’t I immortalise these views and make them into something permanent that’s easily accessible. Then, Book of Zu was born. 4) Tips for anyone who’d like to start ? Creating podcast episodes or content in general is a commitment and takes dedication. I don’t think some people understand how much work goes into creating content and building a platform because all they see is the finished product but don’t see the struggle behind the scenes. If you’re going to do it, do it because you’re passionate and want to create quality content. Do it for you, nobody else. Don’t do it solely because people have told you “OMG! You totally should!! JSDKFKDJFKJ” because they’re not going to be doing it for you and that initial excitement is going to wear off. Motivating yourself to keep going isn’t easy because sometimes you’re so drained that you don’t want to do it but you push through because it’s something you’re truly passionate about. You don’t need to have fancy equipment in the beginning, I’m ballin’ on a budget and record my podcast on my iPhone. Make the best out of what you have. The hardest step, is the first. 5) What do you hope for in the future with your podcasts ? I hope that it continues to grow into something amazing and brings amazing opportunities Insha’Allah. I strongly believe that representation is so important, especially if you’re an ethnic minority and if you’re ethnic you know damn well we’re not represented out here. Even within ethnic minorities, all parts of the community aren’t represented in your home country’s mainstream media but that’s another story for another day. *sip* 6) Any podcasts that you are currently listening to? YETH! Podcasts made by small content creators? YETH PLEATHE!!! VANILLA SWIRL WITH COOKIE CRUNCH PLEATHE! - Inspyre Reads (@inspyre_ent) literary banter, the break down of books and discussions centred around them. Season 2, EP 1, they discussed Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone, they even had a segment where they did Harry Potter centred impressions. - Her Thought Crimes (@whytrustme), she articulates topics that are difficult to put into words so eloquently. EP 2, she discussed redefining success and how it means something different to everybody, and it makes you question what you’re currently using to measure your success. - I’m Afraid It’s Terminal (@serriusbleck), he discusses idea, concepts and theories that engage you and make you think. EP 15, he spoke about Venezuela and how their wealth lead to their demise. You know when you watch a crazy documentary and you want to discuss and really break it down with someone, that’s how I’d describe his podcast. - Abwaan Chronicles (@abwaanpodcast), in EP 14 , they discussed whether they have a duty to Somalia. It was interesting to hear in one group of people how different their opinions were. Being a ethnic minority, and coming from country that isn’t fully developed yet, sometimes you can be made to feel guilt about not doing enough for your country. So this episode definitely drew me in. __________________________________________ Follow his socials to stay upto date with him Twitter- @Ghetto004 Instagram- @Bookofzu ____________________________________________ Stay up-to date with more interviews and features and follow us on our Instagram and twitter! Instagram- @_theeastcollective Twitter- @theeastcollect Contact admins @149lanets or @fvrdosa on Instagram to feature!!

#gif

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sinrau · 4 years

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By now, you’ve probably heard that Donald Trump announced he wants to…delay the election. Cue a firestorm. So. How should you read this?

Is it just a stunt? A diversion, from the many, many ways Trump’s Presidency has failed — from 150,000 dead, to the 18th straight week of more than a million filing for unemployment? Or is it something darker? It’s all of that, and more. When an authoritarian — or an aspiring one — makes pronouncements like this, they don’t just serve one function. There’s no need for the binary logic of pundits.

Trump’s call to postpone an election is indeed a stunt and a misdirection — but it’s also just what it appears to be: an authoritarian delegitimizing democracy .

How dangerous is that? It’s very, very, very dangerous.

It’s deeply — deeply — naive to say something like: “Trump can’t postpone the election because he doesn’t have the power to!” Delaying an election is an abuse of power, the kind authoritarian collapses are made of, and Trump’s whole Presidency has been one long abuse of power, leading up to this, the big one. The Constitution? Don’t kid yourself. Trump doesn’t care about it much, from emoluments to aiding enemies to protecting people’s rights. Power, abusing it, is what you can get away with in a collapsing society. The question is: “can Trump get away with delaying or thwarting the election?”

And the answer to that is…well, first let me put that in more context. The pundits at this moment are busy trying to calm the Twitter masses — by saying that Trump “can’t” postpone the election. “Can’t” is a big word, especially coming from pundits about Trump. These are the same folks who’ve been wrong — catastrophically, for Americans — about every single thing Trump’s done. They’re the ones who scoffed at the idea he’d build camps, throw people in them, purge the government, raid towns, and so forth. Are they wrong again?

The short answer is: yes, but. Again, it’s not binary .

Those of us who’ve survived authoritarianism will tell you: this is exactly how authoritarians work . Stepwise. One step at a time. The point of the authoritarian’s game is to make it slowly possible for the unthinkable to come true. One day, he calls immigrants and refugees vermin, tomorrow, he’s built concentration camps, then he needs a Gestapo to run them, and then that Gestapo is turned on “real” Americans. Sound familiar? It should. It’s the story of the last four years of American political history: the stepwise corrosion of democratic institutions, and their replacement by authoritarian fascist ones.

What authoritarians want to do is change the future. And they do that by grooming a society — as someone very intelligent put it to me on Twitter. Just as abusers groom their victims — slowly transgressing a boundary here, then one there, making what ultimately become profound abuse seem not just normal, but inescapable — so authoritarians work upon a society. They groom people to become inured, impotent, for abuses of power to be normalized, for yesterday’s transgression to become merely something to shrug at, because today’s is so much worse.

By calling for an election to be delayed, that’s exactly what Trump’s doing. Transgressing another boundary. Here we all are now, debating it. Is such a thing possible? Is it even plausible? Of course, that’s exactly what Trump wants. He’s now changed America’s future. The process of grooming a whole society to become habituated to abuses of power goes on, each day more destructive than the last. This is how authoritarians work.

I want you to understand that, so you don’t fall into the pundit’s trap of thinking in a reductive, binary way — either/or. Either he can, or he can’t. No. That’s not how this game is played. It’s more like trying to collapse a building by chipping away at its foundations. Will this be the decisive blow? The next one? When will the whole thing topple over? In other words, more formal ones, we’re speaking about conditional probabilities, nonlinear systems, and political risk becoming true uncertainty. That’s what authoritarians want. When chaos is unleashed, they can do their worst — and get away with it.

The way that pundits will tell you to think about all this is: both houses of Congress need to OK it, and they won’t do that, so we’re all safe. Like I said, these are the same folks that got everything from camps to bans to raids wrong…because your logic doesn’t work. You can never rely on the institutions which let authoritarianism flourish defend you from authoritarianism.

Those of us who’ve survived authoritarianism tend to think about how it works much, much more subtly than American pundits. I think about it like this — and I’d bet that nearly every survivor of authoritarianism thinks along the same lines.

It’s far from impossible to imagine that Trump does end up with the power to delay the election — and even if he doesn’t, by trying to seize that power, he gains enough to manipulate, corrode, and corrupt it.

Let’s imagine that a few short weeks from now, Trump decides that Covid has become enough of a national emergency — even though it’s his own self-created mess — to declare martial law. He’s already announced he wants to do that, too — or have you forgotten — from the steps of a church nonetheless. When they tell you what they’re going to do, believe them. This is how authoritarianism works.

By that point, “ Operation Legend ” will already have put Trump’s shock troops on the streets of major American cities. Which cities? Why, ones in swing states, that lean Democratic. What a coincidence! Of course, it’s not a coincidence at all. This is how authoritarianism works.

Those shock troops will then be doing what they did in Portland — beating moms, abducting people off the streets, gassing mayors. How do you think people will react to that? I’d bet that they’ll either be frightened — in which case they won’t vote enough, and job done. Or they’ll be enraged, and hit back with violence, in which case Trump sends more shock troops, and brutalizes the nation into submission, and job done.

Either way, Trump wins. Maybe he doesn’t win the election in technical, formal terms — we’re not quite there yet in my timeline — but what he does win is the power to terrorize a nation. And a terrorized nation is one that you can do anything to .

At that point, with shock troops fanning out across the country, cities on fire, Covid raging — at that point — is when the crucial question must be asked. Will Congress then give Trump the power to delay the election?

Not now.Then. After Trump has unleashed the dogs of chaos on the nation — even more so than now — throwing everything from Gestapos to abductions to shock troops to a pandemic at people?

You might say: “Of course they’ll stop him!” But I wouldn’t be so sure. Who’s been funding all those concentration camps, and the Gestapo which runs them? The Dems. Who’s impeached Trump for a bribe — but not for crimes against humanity, according to the last living Nuremberg Prosecutor? The Dems.

America’s in this mess because the Dems are not a functioning and robust opposition . They have been employing a strategy of appeasement against American Nazis. It hasn’t worked — because appeasement never does. What’s it resulted in? Trump laughing, and going that much further. The Dems’ idea was to say: “OK, you can have your camps,” and then hope he’d back off, or be shamed into resigning. Trump has no shame, and authoritarians don’t back down, they double down. Hence, four years of appeasement — instead of opposition — from the opposition has led America straight into crisis, too.

( Let me pause for a moment, because a lot of Americans will think I overstate. Let me assure you — go ahead and ask every single one of your friends who’ve survived authoritarianism if they agree with me when I say: “The Dems have appeased Trump, not opposed him properly.” I can all but guarantee you every single one will. Us survivors understand what true opposition is in a way that Americans still don’t. That’s not to be a know-it-all blowhard, it’s to try and teach you something before it’s too late.)

I don’t think it’s in any way implausible to think that after Trump really lashes out with Gestapos, shock troops, abductions, declares a state of emergency, proclaims martial law — that the Dems will agree to postpone the election. I think that it’s eminently possible, if not probable, that they’d agree to do it, as long as Trump threw them a bone. “I promise to leave office by May,” he’d say — and of course not mean a word.

I’ll grant you that may be a slim possibility — but it’s not outside the realm of reason, to me, at least. And it’s such slim possibilities that have shaped American collapse to now.

Does any of that sound fantastical to you? I’d bet for a lot of you what’s happening as you read this is conflict. Your brain says “impossible”, but your gut says “exactly!” Listen to your gut. Your rational mind has no experience in dealing with authoritarianism. It’s a liability, because we’re now outside your experience. Your gut, on the other hand, probably does have experience dealing with bullies, abusers, and control freaks, and it knows, intimately, exactly what’s what, and how these dynamics tend to play out. In a word. That you can’t count on who you think you can count on, both the one who’s abusing you, and the ones who’ve normalized that abuse for so long, too. Your gut is far wiser than your mind right about now — hasn’t it been over the last four years?

Now let’s go one step further. Trump doesn’t manage to delay the election, and the Dems hold fast, for once, in something of a minor miracle, instead of appeasing him. Then what? Then he’s already won something critical, which is delegitimizing the election. “I don’t accept these results!,” he shouts, “I said this election should have been delayed! This wasn’t a fair election! And I’m not leaving office!”

That might make you roll your eyes — you’re a decent and sane person — but the problem is that Trump has an Army of American Idiots still behind him, and some of them are very rich, some control the government, and many control states. Easily enough of them to back him in a bid for becoming…dictator. Worse, he’s stacked the courts. The GOP is his plaything. He’s built his own personal paramilitaries who abduct people off the streets and gas mayors. You might think Trump contesting the results of an election he can’t delay — but has successfully delegitimized amongst his true believers isn’t a big deal — but let me assure you that it is.

Because now Trump can attempt anything. From refuse to leave office, to call for another round of voting, to take the case before the Supreme Court. Anything is possible. Remember when I said that authoritarians flourish in chaos? Here’s the chaos.

Anything is possible now. From an election delay, to no election, to Trump refusing to leave office, to a contested election. Nobody knows — not even Trump, now that he’s rolled the dice. But what I can tell you is that people who glibly dismiss all that are dead wrong. Nobody can say what’s going to happen — all we can say is one thing won’t happen, but that one thing is the most crucial thing of all.

A normal election.

And that, my friends, should give us all pause. Donald Trump wants to be America’s dictator . Your worst fears — the ones they told you to dismiss, when they said it could never happen here — are coming true. They are coming true precisely because sadly, enough Americans, especially powerful ones, couldn’t see it coming, when the whole world could.

Whether or not those fears of democracy dying come true fully — this is already way, way closer to realizing the worst fears sane people have as any nation should ever, ever get.

This is the beginning of a coup . Or the culmination of one that began four years ago. Put it however you like. One thing is eminently clear now. Donald Trump doesn’t want America to be a democracy. He never did. The question now is what kind of country Americans will settle for.

Umair

July 2020

Donald Trump, American Dictator #web #website #copied #toread #highlight #link #news #read #blog #wordpresspost #posts #breaking news# #Sinrau #Nothiah #Sinrau29 #read #wordpress

#IFTTT #WordPress

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goldendream-s · 7 years

Text

don’t be a fool (pt. 3)

Summary; Shawn and Y/N finally find time to try to make amends, but will the chances work out in their favor?

PART ONE || PART TWO

MASTERLIST || REQUEST

Once you felt the last of your tears disappear, you attempt to regroup yourself. It was very tempting to stay on the ground to bawl your eyes out because it was much easier to do nothing than to confront a problem. All you wanted to do at the moment was lock yourself in the apartment and never go out, but you knew that you had some relationships and friendships to stitch up before you could relax.

It’s been itching you from the minute you saw Shawn in person again. You could either fight for you and Shawn to be together again, or you could choose to go apologize for kicking Cameron out and makeup with him instead. Neither would be easy, especially speaking how both boys were very close to you. It’d now be a matter of who you decide to stay with. That is, if both of them don’t already hate you.

You push away thoughts of your actions of the future and focus specifically on what happened just now and the weeks leading up to it. You just confessed your feelings for Cameron, but was it wrong that your heart beat faster and felt more alive than ever when Shawn stepped through your doors? Was it wrong that his note in the bouquet of roses made you feel like the two of you never broke up? Was it wrong that it hurt more when Shawn left you, than when you kicked Cameron out? Was in terribly wrong that even though it felt like Shawn pushed you off a cliff, you were still trying to hang on because you didn’t quite want to give up on Shawn yet?

It soon became very evident that you still had feelings for Shawn, but where did that put the emotions that you just spilled out to your roommate, Cameron, at? You were starting to question if you ever did actually like Cameron, and the guilt started to get to you. He did so much for you, but you played him. He told you as soon as news came out about Shawn with a new girl, and he always had open arms to your tears.

And you, all you did was throw him in the dirt. You used him as a rebound. You kicked him out, when all he wanted to do was help and shelter you from all of the hurt that you were feeling. It didn’t even hurt a bit when Cameron left, and you now knew why. You made a mental note to apologize to him later, but you only had your mind set on one thing for the time being.

Shawn.

As for Shawn, you didn’t really have a plan on how you were going to work things out with him, but it’d be worth a shot. There was obviously some very bad timing between the two of you, but most of it could be explained if you found him soon enough.

Where could he possibly be? You start brainstorming all of the places he could’ve possibly gone within a two hour period, and your mind took you to the park just a few blocks down from your apartment complex. To any passerby, the park would just seem like a dingy play area that no one even goes to anymore, but to you and Shawn, it’d be a spot to hang out and bond with each other.

While dating, the two of you would go to the park during the midnight hours and would just talk about life, future plans for the relationship, and even about getting a pet together – everything and anything. It’d be something you and Shawn often did to unwind and to simply enjoy each other’s presence. Reminiscing in these past memories made your knees week and lips quiver, but you continued to force your feet to take you to the park.

You shove your hands in your pocket and take in your surroundings: busy street lights, fast cars, and signs of the many businesses lining the streets. The urban scene almost made the park seem out of place in all of the midst, but it added character to your small community.

As you arrived to the park and scanned the perimeter in hopes of finding the silhouette of the six foot boy. Your shoulders sagged further down as you found no sign of him. Even after circling the edge of the park and kicking around the wood chips while doing so, the playground remained lifeless.

Nevertheless, you decided to take advantage of being at the park and took the ladder connected to the platform leading to the slides. On your way up, you almost screamed and fell off of the ladder as you found a very familiar body laying down, with his eyes closed. He had both of his hands latched onto each other, resting on his stomach, while his right foot was crossed over the left.

You scolded at yourself for not looking here in the first place. This was where you and Shawn often cuddled while at the park. Not only did the spot give the perfect view of everything surrounding the park, but it also let in the refreshing night breeze.

Contemplating your next move, you stared at the Canadian boy for a few seconds before coming to the conclusion that you were probably being very creepy. You collected the courage to say something.

“Hey,” You instantly regretted saying that, realizing how stupid you just sounded.

Shawn didn’t make any movement for a second before opening one eye at you and closing them again. He even went as far as scooting away from you. The whole action was silently done in less than ten seconds as he continued to obviously ignore you.

You became slight annoyed, but you pressed on. “It’s funny how you’re the one ignoring me, when I should be the one that’s mad.”

Those words got Shawn to open both of his eyes in a matter of seconds. He pushed himself upright and deadpanned to you. He opened his mouth, his eyes full of pure anger. “It’s funny you say that,” he mimics you, “Last time I checked, you were the one sucking off another guy’s face, when I thought we agreed to wait for each other.”

Fuming at this point, you quickly retorted. “You were the one that messed up everything first!” Shawn flinched at your harsh demeanor, but you continued. “Would you like to explain that girl you were with? You and her were practically all of the magazines and twitter for weeks.”

It felt like you were stabbing your own heart again when you brought up the gorgeous girl that was holding hands with Shawn on every magazine stand. She was everything you wanted to be, making you somewhat less comfortable in your own skin.

Something must’ve flickered in Shawn’s mind, because he suddenly seemed a lot less angry and intimidating as his manner softened. You waited for a response, but you got none. Using your hands to push yourself up, getting ready to leave, but you were abruptly pulled back down.

“I-I can explain,” Shawn murmured.

“Well, I’m waiting,” You harshly spat. You had no idea where this new-found confidence was coming from, but you loved it. Spending this last few weeks being strong for yourself certainly gave you the edge in this conversation.

Taking a deep breath, Shawn began to tell you his side of the story. “It was my publicity team’s idea. I promise you I had no part or say in this. They thought it’d be a good idea to create a PR stunt to pr-promote the album and tour. I didn’t even know the girl until they brought her in and told me we’d have to act like we were dating. I-I was honestly so scared about the fake relationship thing because I didn’t want to hurt my fans, but most of all, I didn’t wanna make it seem like I broke our promise and left you in the dust. You were on my mind 24/7, if I’m being honest. I didn’t know what to do though, that’s why I didn’t text you. I thought if I pushed myself away from you, it’d make it easier for you to get over me,” Shawn rambled.

“I wasn’t even able to tell my family that the whole relationship was a fake stunt, let alone you or my friends. I small part of me was telling me that maybe you still l-loved me, and that I could just explain everything to you and that we’d be able to mend everything back together after my tour,” He continued.

Your emotions were all over the place. So much for being strong. The walls that you thought had been built up in your time away from Shawn was slowly but surely cracking with every word that came out of his mouth. From the look of his eyes, Shawn seemed to be feeling the same. You weren’t sure if you wanted to hug Shawn and tell him that everything would be okay, or to slap him for thinking that he could do this to you and act like everything would be okay as soon as he came back. Fake or not, seeing Shawn and another girl together hurt you more than words could ever explain.

Shawn continued with his explanation as you sat in silence. “I know that we weren’t officially together while I was on tour, but I wouldn’t back stab you nor cheat on you, ever. You were in my mind every time I was with the PR stunt girl. Hell, I don’t even remember her name! I was obviously stupid to think that you wouldn’t move on after everything, but I get it. I told you this the day I left, and I’ll tell you again. I don’t deserve you, and you could find someone better. I was obviously right, and I understand if you don’t want to be with me. Cameron will treat you so much be-”

You were tired of all of the words coming out of Shawn face, so you kissed him, which quickly hushed him. He surprisingly returned the gesture instantly, and your fingers soon laced in his soft brown wavy curls. They say that when you’re kissing someone who you truly like, you can feel sparks, but this was a totally new feeling. It was like nostalgia, joy, and desperation all in one. You’ve been waiting for this moment so long, that your brain simply pushed away everything bad that has happened between you and Shawn in the last year. All you focused on was the boy in front of you who you haven’t seen in a whole year.

You finally had Shawn back in your arms, and even if it wouldn’t be easy, you wanted to forgive him. You wanted to talk through everything with him, and you wanted to find a way to make things work. There were obviously numerous misunderstandings between both of you, but you wanted to forget about them just as much as Shawn did.

Shawn grazed his hands across your waist, until they found a comfortable spot. Tears came down your cheeks, but this time, it wasn’t out of hurt. It’d been so long since you’ve felt sparks and love like this, and if it were up to you, you’d never want the passionate kiss to end. It finally hit you how much you truly missed Shawn, and you were glad he was back home for the time being.

Running out of air, you hesitantly pulled away and immediately hugged Shawn. “I missed you so much. I’m so sorry. I love you,” your words were muffled against Shawn’s broad chest.

“You don’t need to be sorry, Y/N. It was all my fault. I should’ve told you about the PR stunt anyways. Maybe we wouldn’t even be in this predicament if I told you earlier. Please forgive me, baby. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you. I love you, so, so, so, much.” Shawn pecked you lips between every ‘so’.

“I forgive you Shawn,” you say while pulling him loser if that was even possible. It’d been so long since you’ve felt so say in someone’s arms. Of course, you and Cameron shared moments like these, but never on such deep and intimate levels as this. In these very moments, you knew that all you ever wanted was Shawn. He could be separated from you for years, but no amount of distance and other guys could ever bring you to stop loving Shawn.

You don’t know how long you and Shawn stayed like this – tangled into each other, breathing in each other’s presence. You couldn’t fathom it, but something about this boy drove you insane and love crazy. He could ask you to do something so out of this world, but you’d do it anyways. As long as you could still call him yours at the end of the day.

“I missed you at the show,” Shawn broke the silence, referring to the concert he had in your hometown. The same very concert that you refunded your tickets for. You slightly blushed, but luckily the darkness hid your embarrassment.

Chuckling, you cleverly respond, “Why would I need to do that when you sing all the time in our apartment? Like a concert, but free,” You giggle.

Shawn returns the laugh, making you feel the vibrations from lying on his chest. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Shawn. Don’t ever let go,” You plead.

“Could never imagine it, babe.” Shawn replies.

The two of you spent the rest of the night like that at the park – catching up with each other and exchanging “I love you’s” while staring out into the city lights. You lived for these type of moments, and you were glad to say that you were finally at home again. Finally with Shawn again.

You might’ve looked like a fool for trying, but sometimes, the effort is worth the person you’re fighting for.

Hello!! The series is unfortunately over, but I hope you guys enjoyed the ending and the Don’t Be a Fool series as a whole! I know this post was on the shorter side, but I didn’t want to drag anything.

Let me know how I did, and feel free to message me or request prompts (if they are open) here!

p.s. make sure to like and/or reblog this post if you liked this, it’d really mean a lot to me :))

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mpoflarry · 5 years

Photo

1 - Your Mess Is Mine

Louis is the father to the most brilliant little boy in the world who is all Louis really needs, or at least that’s what he tells himself. Harry is a gorgeous boybander fresh off a two year break and a massive scandal that’s left him a little broken and more than ready to move on.

They fall in love.

2 - To the Ends of the Earth

During a yearlong hiatus, Louis visits Harry at his cabin in Idaho, where long-buried feelings ignite like the fire keeping them warm.

3 - Escapade

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He’s rich. He’s handsome. He’s reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

4 - Lead by your beating heart

(Or: AU where Harry’s in One Direction, Louis isn’t, and they reconnect over a game of ‘Call or Delete’.)

5 - this house no longer feels like home

Harry and Louis have been together for 20 years. Harry cheats. Louis cries. Harry is given a year to fix their marriage.

6 - Like Candy In My Veins

“Um…” Harry said slowly after a moment. “Okay. That’s… this is… Let me get this straight.” He lifted up a hand and swallowed. “You told your family that you have a boyfriend… and my name was the first one you thought of?”

“Harry Potter was on TV, alright? It wasn’t that much of a stretch.” Louis pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe he was explaining himself to Harry fucking Styles. He couldn’t believe he was stooping this low. “Forget it. I’m sorry I even thought about bringing you into this.”

Harry snorted. “What? Did you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend or something?” (Basically the A/B/O, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, Christmas AU that nobody asked for.)

7 - And Then A Bit

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

8 - Fucking Animals

“Just, off the record,” she says, voice lower, eyes sharper, crook of her mouth quirking up a little, “don’t you ever miss it? A good knot? You must.”

Louis blinks and then swallows, thickly. “No,” he exclaims, offended that she’d even ask, “I love my husband. And anyway, how could I miss something I’ve never had?”

—

Louis is the frontman of an equal rights-movement, author of a book about beta-omega marriage and the struggles of being born and boxed into a personality you don’t necessarily feel you fit. The notion that an omega must want to be with an alpha or else he or she’s just settling for less, is bullshit.

But, fucking hell.

9 - Temporary Tattoos, Hotel Hearts, Horizon Homes

Louis is just 18 and ends up in 2015 for one day at Harry’s request, one day to make sure his spirit is strong and hopeful enough to take him to the X Factor and end him up where he’s supposed to be. Aka, the one where Harry makes sure Louis knows how amazing he is.

10 - you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans

Louis Tomlinson is an English fashion designer. Harry Styles is an American football player. Their paths cross through twitter.

11 - Both Showing Hearts

Louis Tomlinson is, in fact, not straight.

Harry Styles isn’t sure what he is.

Together, they figure it out, and maybe fall in love along the way.

Or, the Uni AU where Louis helps Harry figure out his sexuality, Niall crashes a bachelorette party, Liam works in a printing centre, and Zayn happens to need lots of printing done.

12 - Here In The Afterglow

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

13 - Every Arrow That I Aim Is True

“I can see you don’t believe me,” Harry says, pretending to be stern. Louis chuckles a little but doesn’t get out of the bed. “Anyway, I texted Liam and told him you’re with me. He said to stay here as long as you need, and he’ll deal with the show over there until you want to come back, all right?”

Louis doesn’t say anything again so Harry whispers, “Just stay here with me for a while, yeah? I’ll take care of you.”

Louis is quiet. He never picks his head up, but Harry can see the pillow move from where he’s nodding and his fingers tighten around Harry’s. “Yeah,” Louis says. “Yeah, all right.”

14 - A Taste of Desire

“As forward as I have been with you this evening, I am also aware this dinner party isn’t the place to conduct business.” Mr. Tomlinson chuckles quietly to himself, shooting a subtle glance across the table towards their hostess. “And besides, I am sure our hostess would be horribly disappointed to learn that we went away this evening with a business agreement and not a mating one.”

Harry, who had been sipping his wine, coughs harshly at this. He splutters, unaccustomed to such blatant statements about mating.

Mr. Tomlinson continues to laugh quietly, clearly pleased at Harry’s reaction.

“Mrs. Humphreys promised that there was an alpha attending the dinner tonight that I would certainly get on well with,” Mr. Tomlinson continues, voice teasing. “She assured me that we would have much in common since we both work with mills.” Mr. Tomlinson glances at Harry, eyes flashing with mirth. “Little did she know that would be where our mutual interests began and ended.”

Or, a Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

15 - Wear It Like a Crown

AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis’ teenage fantasies.

16 - California Sold

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

18 - Wild and Unruly

Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

19 - Where You Lay

When Louis’s upcoming heat threatens his success at his new dream job, he asks the best (and only) person he can think of to help him through it: his best mates’ best mate, Harry Styles. Harry reluctantly accepts, and together the two navigate a strange friends with benefits relationship that quickly turns complicated.

20 - Untangle Me

Louis finds himself out of place in LA, unable to get at an itch that’s been bothering him for years. He supposes back in the early days, home hadn’t been a place. It’d been a person. He’d etched it permanently into his skin for fucks sake. It was always him and Harry. Stuck to each other like super glue. Pulled together by some magnetic force, existing in their own bubble. Everyone could see it, but that was half the problem, wasn’t it?

It’s not like Louis can pinpoint the exact moment in time when him and Harry fell out of sync. There wasn’t really one at all. It had been a gradual slip, like the tide wearing away at a sandstone cliff. Chipping the solid foundations until there was nothing left to stop the structure falling to the waves below. It’s not like he spends all of his time sitting around moping over a lost friendship, he’s good at distractions. But LA only seems to accentuate the distance between them. Two separate planets, not even in the same solar system.

Or the one where Harry and Louis finally get it right.

21 - For As Long As I Can Remember (It’s Been December)

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

22 - Can’t Fool Me

I hate frats,” Louis repeats for what feels like the millionth time.

“Yes, I’ve heard, once or twice or every day for the past three years,” Liam says. His careful tone reminds Louis of how his mom always sounds when one of his siblings is on the brink of a tantrum.

Louis glances speculatively at Liam’s frat brothers, who are still huddled together and chatting, with the exception of the one who’s looking in Louis’ direction. Maybe Louis shouldn’t rule out a tantrum. While making a scene wouldn’t actually free him from fraternity nonsense in the future, it would at least be entertaining.

AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.

23 - Bigger Than Life

Boybander Harry Styles spotted leaving West Hollywood joined hand in hand with new beau, Xander Ritz”

His heart drops in his chest as he scrolls down, ignoring the short irrelevant article and looking desperately for a picture. Sure enough, there’s pap shots of Harry and Xander, walking hand in hand, looking drunk and cheerful and together.

And that’s—that’s really not what Louis was expecting at all.

24 - Seeing Blind

Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.

#fic rec #To read

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