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#funny lil haribo
sanghost · 3 months
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she looks like hamburger oh my god
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haribojam · 1 month
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Tbh I always joked about I.Q. Being the official bugaloos sexyman but apparently it’s mf Peter platter
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sizzlyybacon · 6 months
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ROUTE 478 CHRONICLES; PART 3
on thursday after school the bus driver isn't here and our bus is late. all the bus drivers left already. elise says she's going to run to the bartells in the neighborhood nearby. i tell her she shouldn't because the bus is probably gonna come but she ignores me 💀the giant 7th/8th grade boy group leaves to go to starbucks but then elise comes back with a bag of haribo gummy bears. we sit down on the little ledge by our school building and eat the gummy bears. i text my dad and ask if he can pick us up if the bus doesnt arrive in like 15 minutes. he says sure so we wait. while we're eating our gummy bears a few drop on the ground so i bend over and pick them up. "psst should i throw these at the next person to walk by" i say. "YESSS" elise replies a LIL too loud.. and that's when will walks over and says hi to us. i decide not to throw them since we're somewhat friends but elise elbows me and tells me to throw them at him. she throws a gummy bear at him and i do the same. he starts crying and screaming ow and how much pain he's in 💀 then elise just 🧍‍♀️ and gives him a pineapple gummy bear. "OH THANKS!! CLEAR IS THE BEST FLAVOR!" he says and griddies away. man wtf are thse kids on. finally the bus rolls up and we get on. since everyone got picked up already only a few people are on the bus. the middle is empty, everyone is in the front while me, elise, will, hannah, avery, josi, and olive are in the back. i put the two gummy bears that bounced off will on the seat and decide to hold a contest for which flavor is better by whichever one stays up longer without falling will was right that pineapple was the best flavor because yellow fell first. i decided to stick the winning gummy bear on the window because hannah kept begging me if she could have it and plus it was funny. it was a different bus though so i dont know if it was still there or not. i leaned over and kicked it into the window. hannah was cackling. will took my waterbottle while saying fanum tax and he griddied away then he asks if we have twitch💀the bus driver was SUPER strict and there were 3 of my classmates in a seat and he screamed "this is NOT kindergarten. 2 people a seat. one of you moves or you all get kicked off." the kids got scared and moved away. wtf.. the bus driver was inexperienced because he circled the town 3 times and never got out. some kid told him he went the wrong way and he screamed "ARE YOU DRIVING OR AM I!? DO YOU HAVE THE LICENSE OR DO I!? YOU ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL. SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH." kids are shocked. my friends tristan, graham, and joe are making jokes in the front when the bus driver stops in the middle of the road and walks down the aisle to them. "YOU ARE BEING SO LOUD. QUIET DOWN. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WE CAN HEAD BACK TO THE SCHOOL RIGHT NOW." tristan replies with "m-my name is jeff sir.." "WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME JEFF?" "j-j-j-j-just jeff sir.. my name is jeff jeff.. please.." everyone is laughing and recording. the bus driver stops and walks back to his seat. in the meantime, a kid has their foot in the aisle and he STOMPS on it and calls them a disgusting rodent. wtf man. everyone is shocked so they get off at early stops.
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bisexualnathanyoung · 3 years
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Community Blowback
Fandom: Misfits, Nathan Young x Original Character
Summary: When Mel Albright, a low-life stoner with a heart of gold, ends up on community service, she assumes it’s just another thing in a line of mishaps that is her life. Will the aftermath of a freak storm and the help of a green eyed idiot show her that maybe things being fucked up aren’t always that bad after all?
Masterlist | Previous Chapter
Chapter Seven: The Calm Before the Storm 
Word Count: 3.9k 
Warnings: offensive humor, smut, slut shaming, drugs, alcohol, and some piss mentions i guess 
A/N: I decided to split episode 6 into two chapters. I think this one is really funny, and the next one is really sad
"What the hell is going on over there?" I asked as I sat down in Nathan's lap and opened my bag of haribo. There was a group of people gathering in rather drab, conservative clothes. They were sharing how they'd reformed and were clapping for each other. I fed Nathan gummi bears between his puffs of a joint as we watched the absolute display of bullshit. 
"I called my mum… a fat bitch," the girl talking said, "but I'm not like that anymore. I'm a good person." They clapped for her. I rolled my eyes. Like you can't be a good person and drink and do drugs and have sex. Bullshit. 
"That… that ain't normal," Nathan said. I shook my head and took the joint from him and smoked it. 
"She went to my school," Alisha said and explained how this girl had fucked a gearshift. 
"Try that in your driving test and you're definitely getting a fail," Nathan said, "or a pass and some kind of internal injury." I giggled. 
"It's the same with the girls at my estate," Kelly added, "no one's even gettin' pregnant anymore." I had noticed the shift around town as well. 
"It's weird. My co-workers have actually been competent lately. I'm not complainin', it's just different. It's like we're not even going to get the shittiest chip shop in London award this year." I said. 
"What about your friends?" Kelly asked Simon. 
"I believe that's generally refered to as a pedophile ring," Nathan said and went to grab more gummies. I snatched the bag away.
"I'm not a pedophile," Simon said. 
"What have I told you about saying shit like that?" I said to Nathan. 
"That you think I'm the most hilarious and handsome man you've ever met?" he asked with a smile. 
"No, that saying shit like that makes you sound like an arsehole," I said. He went to grab some of my haribo again. 
I snatched it away, "Arseholes don't get my sweets." 
"Then you can't have any of my skunk," he took the joint from me. 
"Like you didn't take that from my bedside table," I responded. 
He shrugged and finished it before putting it out. Before dropping it in my jumpsuit and into my cleavage. I narrowed my eyes at him and he grinned. 
"You wanker, that could've burned me," I said and started to unbutton my jumpsuit slightly. 
"Let me get that for ye," he said and reached into my bra, pinching my nipple and causing me to make a sudden noise. He grabbed the joint and threw it on the ground. 
"That hurt, ya lil bastard," I said and ruffled his hair. 
"Not what you said last night," he said. I rolled my eyes. Of course he couldn't leave it at that. What was even worse was how good he was getting at imitating my accent over the last few months, "Oh, Nathan, yeah do it harder, oh yes!" He exclaimed while doing his impression, "I love it when you add teeth! Fuck fuck I'm gonna cum!" Everyone else groaned and looked disgusted. 
"What's even worse is the fucking boner that's poking my arse right now," I said. 
Nathan let out a little laugh and thrusted his hips up. 
"Stop it! I mean it!" 
"Why? Ye gettin' turned on?" He said in my ear. 
"No, I'm getting angry with you," I said to him. 
"Don't think so. Bet if I reached into your knickers that they'd be soaked," he whispered. I felt some goosebumps rise as he said that. 
Curtis let out a disgusted noise, "you know we can hear you." Nathan shrugged. 
"Their thoughts are even worse," Kelly added. 
A couple of the Virtue weirdos walked by. 
"Hey!" I yelled. I usually would have never attracted too much attention to myself, but something about living and being with Nathan made me so much more confident. It was like he was rubbing off on me… we did do a lot of rubbing after all. 
"Can I help you?" One of them asked. 
"Er, yeah, I'd like to know what the fuck all this is then?" I responded. 
"There's a meeting at the community centre tonight," he said, "you should come along and find out. All of you. And you really shouldn't use that language."  
I suppressed a laugh; "yeah, alright," I said sarcastically. 
"See ye there, buddy," Nathan added. And the pair walked off. 
"You really shouldn't use that language," I mocked, and Nathan snickered. 
"He used to be a right headcase!" Curtis said, "...this is weird." 
"They need our help," the girl who I assumed was their leader said, "Things have to change." Whatever. 
"You're not really mad at me, are you?" Nathan asked while giving me puppy dog eyes. 
"Nah," I said and hopped up, "you want me to show you how not mad I am at you?" I bent over and kissed him. 
"Mhmm." 
_____ 
Nathan smacked my ass as we left the storeroom. "Good show, dahling, good show," he said in a posh accent, getting a giggle out of me. Nathan walked into the main room. I noticed the girl from before, and she scowled at me. I lifted an eyebrow and decided to let it go and join the others.
"Why'd you and Nathan switch shirts?" Kelly asked. Nathan and I usually wore the same size men’s t-shirts, so nothing looked or felt out of place when shit like this happened. 
I looked down and back up at her, "oh… fuck. That wasn't supposed to happen." Nathan let out a little "hah hah" from behind me. 
"Enough about that… where's the fucking probation worker?" I asked. 
"Yeah, she's never late," Kelly added. 
"I think she's gone on holiday," Simon said. He usually seemed to be in his own head, but today was even more off. I wondered if he was depressed. I knew what that was like. I related to Simon in a lot of ways, and that's why I never really thought Nathan's teasing toward him was very funny. 
I didn't think insulting humor wasn't funny. When Nathan made fun of people on the telly or even me, I always laughed because I knew when he joked around with me, it wasn't from a place of genuinely wanting to make me upset. I think he did the same thing with Simon. But then again, sometimes Nathan was just a dick. 
"Did she tell you that?" Curtis asked. 
"She said she was going to Greece," Simon responded, just as somber as before. 
"No, they would've sent someone to cover for her," Curtis said. I picked at my fingernail polish. I honestly didn't care where she was that much. 
"We should phone probation headquarters, and get someone down here to supervise us nooow," Nathan joked and started messing with a football. I laid back on one of the indoor benches. Alisha and Curtis went to walk out soon after. 
"I left a condom in there for ye in you need it!" Nathan called after them and then giggled, "oh wait." 
"Prick!" Curtis yelled back from the hallway. Nathan started messing with the ball again, and before I knew it he'd kicked it right at Simon. 
"Nathan!" I scolded. He turned around to shrug at me, and Simon had thrown a box of ribbons at him. Simon looked pissed off. 
Nathan held his hands up, "well, this is intense." Simon stormed off. 
Nathan went to grab the ball again. 
"Don't Nathan," Kelly said. 
"Fucking Christ," I said as he threw the ball at the door as Simon was leaving. He snickered to himself as he sat down next to me. 
"Guess who gets to clean all this up now?" I asked him in a high pitched voice that was usually used with children. 
"I dunno, you two probably, you are the women around here," he tried to joke but Kelly stood up and shoved him into me, almost painfully. 
"Don't know why you deal with this bastard," she said as she walked out as well. 
"Now you're really not gonna get any help," I said. 
He sighed. 
"Alright, get a move on. We ain't got all day," I clapped my hand onto his shoulder. He begrudgingly got a broom. 
He sat back down after he'd finished cleaning, "Now that I've finished my community service, that probably won't even count because the probation worker isn't here… what the hell are we still doing here?" 
I shrugged, "you wanna get some food and then head home for round two? … or three if you count this mornin' before we left." 
He kissed me, "you beautiful bitch, you read my fucking mind." 
I let out a laugh, "alright, but don't call me a bitch." 
He shrugged, "Well you are one sometimes." 
"Yeah, and you're an insufferable wanker sometimes." 
He threw his arm around me, "that's why we make such a good pair!" 
I pounced on him as soon as I got the door closed. 
He brought his hands under my-his- shirt that I was still wearing, "you look so fuckin' sexy in my clothes. Reminding me how I fucked you." 
We snogged a bit before I pulled back to respond to him, "I feel the same way. You look so good in black. Wish you wore it more often." 
I pushed him back onto what used to be his bed. We still hadn't turned it back into a sofa. It was too convenient like this. I crawled on top of him and started dryhumping him. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me again. 
Soon our tongues were colliding while I grinded on him, and everything felt so damn good. He grabbed me and quickly switched positions as he got on top of me. We pulled at each other's clothes until we were down to underwear. He quickly removed my bra and kissed at my breasts, paying special attention to them as he thrusted up against me. He threw his underwear into the floor and started teasing me. He rubbed his now bare cock onto my clothed twat. 
"It's like your knickers got caught in a rainstorm, and I haven't even touched you," he said. 
"Yeah, well," I let out a moan as I felt the head of his cock run over near enough to my clit to feel amazing. I continued talking, "I think all this stimulation might count as touching." 
"Oh, so it'd be fine if I just," he removed his cock, "stopped." 
"No," I whined. 
"Thought not," he smiled and kissed me on the forehead, "you want me to finger you or you wanna get on with the party?" 
I wrapped my arms around his neck, "I want you to fuck me with your cock." 
"So eager," he said, bringing his cock over my knickers one last time before pulling them off. 
"Condom," I reminded.
"Ah, yeah," he said and went to go look through my bag, "Jaysus it's like fuckin' Mary Poppins in here." As he rummaged through it, I started to touch myself. I was careful not to make any noise as I wanted to surprise him as he turned around. 
"Ah ha! Got i- fuck," he said as he saw me with my fingers in my pussy. 
"You were taking too long," I whined. 
"Not gonna take long now," he said as he slipped on the condom. He quickly pushed into me and started to fuck me slowly. 
He usually started slow unless we didn't have time. I liked it rough and fast, but when we started with that, he usually came first and then felt bad about it. I didn't mind it. The beginning was always my time to admire his body, his eyes, just to admire him before I got lost in the sex. To gaze into his eyes while he was inside of me. It was extremely special to me. I think it was special to him too or we wouldn't do it as much as we did. 
Once I was lost into the sex however, I was moaning loudly for more. 
"Harder, oh fuck," I moaned, "yeah more, deeper, oh, more." 
He slowed a little bit, "baby, I don't know how to tell ye this, but I'm runnin' out of cock." I started laughing. He continued to fuck me as he talked, "I'm serious," he let out a moan and then continued, "what do want me to do to give you more? Make it deeper? Stuff my balls in there?" 
I shook my head, "Jesus, no thanks." 
"You sure? We saw it in that porn-"
"I'm very sure. I haven't been doing this for very long, but I already know how you make it deeper," I said as I removed my legs from his back and put them on his shoulders, "now fuck me again." 
He thrusted into me, "oh, fuck, yeah." He continued to fuck me deep and hard just how I liked it. The bed creaks got louder and louder as we went on, but we'd never gotten a noise complaint, so I didn't worry about it too much. Until… the back legs of the bed gave out and left the sofa bed at an incline. 
"Well, that wasn't supposed to happen," I laughed. We giggled together for a while. 
"Hey, I've always wanted a sex ramp," Nathan said. 
I shook my head, "I'd rather finish in the bedroom." 
"As you wish," he said. Is that a Princess Bride reference? Nah, can't be. He lifted me up and brought me into the bedroom. I thought it was miraculous how he stayed hard the whole time, but that was Nathan for ya. He held me against the wall and fucked me some more before laying me out on the bed. 
"Time for the piss de… piss de resist… the finale!" 
I shook my head, "okay but if you piss on me, we're not gonna be havin' sex for a while after that." 
"Like you never pissed on me before," he said as he climbed on top of me. 
"That was an accident! I couldn't tell the difference between that and the other, and I didn't know I had to go, and- and this talk ain't sexy, I'd like to get on with things!" He quickly pushed his cock into me and started rubbing my clit. It wasn't long before I came, and he came soon after. I'd gotten much better at controlling my power if I balled my fists up as I let the pleasure roll through me. I didn't feel like blowing out the power or starting anymore electrical fires… 
He kissed me softly as he rolled off of me, "woo, I can't believe we broke your sofa." 
"That was fucking funny," I said, "I can't believe you stayed hard the whole time." 
"One of my many talents," he said as he reached in the drawer and started rolling a joint. I quickly got up to fetch some water and beers from the kitchen. 
"Hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave," he said as I left the room. 
We were on our second joint in a row and on our second or third beer. We were high and tipsy, but not to the point of calling your ex or making a fool of yourself. 
He knew what he was saying when he said, "you know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me… I know you don't mean it when you insult me, and I know you do mean it when you tell me I'm not a burden on you. Nobody else is like that to me." 
I held his hand and cuddled him closer, "I don't think that's true. Lots of people think you're funny and stuff." 
"Yeah, and that's all I ever have going for me. The stupid lightin' didn't even think I was worthy of a superpower. I'd be great at being a superhero. I'd be like Batman, have tons of money and be super awesome." 
I smiled at him, "Batman hasn't got a superpower either. His superpower is being super rich." 
"Oh," he grinned, "that's right! I forgot about that! Alright, you can have your inconvenient power that's going to burn our building down one day from all our fuckin', and I'll be fuckin' Batman!" 
"Sounds grand," I said and laughed. It was moments like these where I thought I fucking love you, dumbass, but I didn't say it. I didn't want to scare him off. We hadn't been together that long, but I knew I loved him. I fell easy and I fell hard, and I'd fallen harder for him than anyone else. 
Nathan yawned, "I'm knackered." 
I looked over at the clock, "it's the middle of the afternoon." 
"Keepin' up with your libido is hard work, princess," he said. 
"You know I fucking hate it when you call me that," I responded. 
He made a noise and turned over to spoon me, "good night." 
"Good night," I said and snuggled into him. 
_____ 
The next morning, Sally the probation worker was nowhere to be seen again. Nathan had found that stupid fucking ball again, and I went through the books on the shelf and settled on some stupid magazine. 
"WOAH THERE'S TIDDIES IN HERE," I yelled across the room as I saw an ad for a sex hotline. 
Nathan practically tripped over this own feet to get over to where I was, "What the fuck, I wanna see!" 
I showed it to him and he grabbed it and inspected it, "hm… not as good as yours." 
I scoffed, "you're joking, those aren't some mediocre tits." 
"Obviously not. They're fucking amazing, but yours are better. You could do this shit if you wanted to. Be a model and that," he said.
I was honestly flattered, "don't think so. Not that I'd wanna be a booby model anyway." 
"Ah, well, I like bein' the only one that gets to see 'em." 
"So…" I said, "are we gonna call it?" 
"Of course we are!" he said, and we ran off to the office. 
"So, this photo in the magazine, is that actually you?" He asked. 
"What's she sayin'?" I whispered. 
"Ch ch ch, shh, I'm listenin'" 
"So do you get any trainin'? You know my girlfriend works in a chip shop, and that sure isn't bringin' in the big bucks, and she's got like really good tits," he said. 
"Oh my fucking god," I responded. 
"Anyway, here she is," he handed me the phone. 
"What I don't," I stumbled over my words for a second and then held the phone up to my ear, "so uh, yeah hey, do you do girls too?" 
"Can I watch?!" Nathan yelled into the phone. A man walked into the office, and I quickly hung up the phone. 
"I'm lookin' for Sally," he said. 
"Who?" Nathan asked. 
"She's a probation worker," he said. 
"Oh, haven't seen her, man" he said. 
He made eye contact with me, and I just shook my head. 
"Can I take a message?" Nathan asked. 
"No, you're alright," he said and walked off. 
Shortly after, Alisha walked by looking very drab. It was her, but it wasn't her. 
"Did you see that?!" I asked Nathan. 
"What?" He said and then noticed her, "oh my god, how do you go from a slut to a virgin in one day?!" 
There were several comments I could have made in response, but I went with, "Alisha's not a slut." 
"Yeah, maybe not anymore, but she didn't get that power from being celibate." 
I shook my head, "nobody knows why we got our powers. Stop being an ass." 
"Fine, but that shit's weird." 
A little later in the day we'd met up with the others minus Alisha in the toilets. Kelly turned around while Nathan took a piss, but I didn't feel the need to. Obviously. 
"Are you checkin' out my cock while I'm tryna take a piss?! Don't do that shit; do you know hard it is to piss with a boner?!" he accused. 
"Can't say I do… besides, I'm just standin' here." 
Curtis shook his head and ignored us, "she's sayin' all this weird shit about sex and that. She said she's savin' herself until she's ready to make a proper commitment!" 
"I don't get it. I mean I stopped doin' some shit a while back, but givin' up everythin'? Like, I don't let lads snort coke off my tits anymore, but if I go more than a few days without an orgasm, I think I'd lose it." 
"What was that about snortin' coke off your tits?! Can I do that?! That sounds fun!" Nathan practically ran up to me, "I won't get addicted I swear!" 
I smirked, "maybe I could go back to it for a night or two… just for you." 
"Yes!" He exclaimed. 
"But anyway… if you aren't seein' other people, is that not a commitment?" I asked. 
"I don't know!" He responded. 
"It's a sad day for all of us when a bird like that pulls up her knickers," Nathan said. 
"You realize that's my girlfriend you're talkin' about?" Curtis responded. 
"Women aren't birds; they're people," I added. 
Nathan waved his hand at me, "yeah, yeah, yeah." 
"Have you finished?!" Kelly asked. 
"The beast is back in his cage. He's sleeping," Nathan said, "shh." 
"Hopefully not for long," I mumbled. 
"C'mon, Mel, don't remind Curtis that our sex life was way better than his before it became non-existent… well it was non-existent before that too," Nathan let out a little laugh at himself. 
"Shut up! We need to figure out what's goin' on with her!" Kelly said. 
"It's that lot yesterday. They did somethin' to her," Curtis said. 
"While you guys sort that out, I've got to head. Work soon," I said. 
"Hey, what about my beast wakin' up?!" Nathan exclaimed. 
I gave him a kiss, "don't worry. I'll sort ya when I get home. Might send you somethin' nice from the toilets at work." 
"Ooh, I can live with that." 
_____ 
During my short break, I kept to my promises and headed to the toilet to send Nathan a shitty mobile phone picture of my tits with a "can't wait to get home x." And then I went out for a smoke. The same bitch from earlier was outside. 
"You!" she said. 
"Me," I responded deadpan. 
"You know smoking causes cancer and that the same chemicals that are in cigarettes are in rat poison?" She asked. 
"Everybody fucking knows that smoking causes cancer. Just because I don't have a massive stick up my arse doesn't mean I'm an idiot," I responded. I really wasn't in the mood. 
She gasped, "and you were with that awful boy! Did you know I caught him smoking marijuana this morning?!" 
"Thanks for the heads-up. It was probably mine," I laughed. 
"I bet you were having sex with him in that store room. Everyone on this estate is such an awful slut!" 
I furrowed my brow. This bitch was about to get a slap, "I'll have you know, I'm in a committed relationship with someone I love, and I can fuck him whenever I want, you fucking stupid-" I lifted my hand to hit her. 
"You don't have to behave like this. You could be so much better!" She said quickly before I could hit her. 
The next thing I remembered was nearly two days later: the cold rain pelting my skin...
-----
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bunny-xoxo · 3 years
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Bunny’s 200 follower event
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request: ok this is for my baby, my shawty, my luv xoxo, my bitch, my world, my EVERYTHING 😩 @plutowrites her request was sent in private so imma keep it that way ❣️ please enjoy baby 💓
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a/n: ok so I know you got boyfie kenma but this is who I’d match you with excluding that scary mf 😌😙 sooo say hello to boyfie #2 & #3
Reading your request, you have been matched with...
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ Tsukishima Kei
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I just knew eventually we’d come to this Pluto 😪 let’s address the mental illness that is being with Tsukishima 😪 IM JUST KIDDING PLS
Ok but no fr everything you’re looking for in a relationship? ^ this guy got
Tsuki is so funny idc
He’ll constantly be whispering snarky remarks in your ear about people around you and just absolutely dog on them and it’s SO funny
And sometimes he’ll just look at you after Hinata said something stupid like 😒 and ITS SO HARD TO NOT BURST INTO TEARS
Like this boy is gonna have you in stitches
And he’s so smart with it too like he’s so witty
He’s also the kind of guy where if you’re dying after he said smth he’s gonna look you up and down with a smirk cause he’s proud of himself LMAO
He’s also not clingey but a lowkey simp
Like he’d never in his fucking life admit to being a simp
But the speed at which he flips his phone when he thinks he might have a notif from you
And the way he will listen to the SAME song on rpt in those mf headphones if it reminds him of you
You’re his home screen too AND HIS EARS WOULD BURN SO BRIGHT RED WHEN YAMS FIRST NOTICES IT
Cause he’s using his phone to text his mom or smth and sees the home screen and is just 🤭😳😏 ~tsukiii
And Tsukis just
😒😐😳🙂
“Give me my phone, you can walk home.”
HES JUST SHY ABOUT LOVING YOU OK
Tsukishima is so decisive too I-
You’d be taking like 3 seconds too long to decide and he’d decide for you LMAO
Or you’d just give him a ~look like 😳🥺 and he’d just know and he’d roll his eyes and figure it out LMAO
Pls you’ll be somewhere and won’t know what you want to eat and you’re getting nervous cause your guys turn to order is coming up and he’d just order something for you he’d know you’d like and after just pull you into his side and kiss the top of your head
“You’re such an idiot.”
you’re VERY lucky he’s good at making good decisions LMAO
Ok he is going to be squishing your cheeks literally all the time????
Like you do anything and he’s grabbing your cheeks with one hand and moving your head back and forth while he talks to you in the mocking baby voice ya know?
“Oh you think you’re so smart baby~”
He’s mean but like, it’s ok cause it’s him and it’s h-hot 😦🤢 and he loves you obviously 🙄
 bitch you said banter that borderlines mean? This bout to be your favorite song^ all he DOES is bully
It’s his love language at this point
Your name in his phone is baby 🧡
But he says it’s just your name LMAO
Until you call his phone so he can find it and you see your contact name
Pls bully him about it he deserves it
It does not matter that you’re tall he will call you tiny literally any chance it makes sense
Can you reach things on the top shelf?
Yes
Does he care?
No
And he will grab it for you and be like
You’re too tiny I got it 🙄✋🏼 LMAO
Okok you mentioned you have eczema
One of Tsukis ways of showing he really does love you is taking care of you
He notices you’re getting low on your cream?
He already went to the store to get some for you
You’re having a flare up and feeling a little insecure?
He’s kissing your temple and whispering how beautiful you look today in your ear, hoping you’ll think about the way his hand is running up and down your arm and how he’s breathing down your neck, and the way the skin behind your ear is burning now from the second kiss he placed, rather than the way you’re eczema is making you feel
He’s a little more affectionate in public that day than he normally would choose to be
It’s subtle, things like intertwining your fingers and kissing your hand before pulling you in his direction rather than the way he’d usually hold your pinky and lightly tug you his way
Or coming up right behind you to look at something you’re showing him, towering over you with his chest against your back
“That’s awesome.” He says it sarcastically but still leans down to press a kiss to your cheek
“C’mon let’s get what we actually came for stupid.”
Even when he’s driving you guys there and back his right hand is resting on your thigh instead of the wheel, only moving to adjust the radio
He notices and his solution to bad thoughts is “think of me instead then bitch”
He keeps literally any and everything you’ve EVER made him
You met in highschool and now live together while you’re in college?
He still has those first things you made him in highschool in a little scrapbook album he made after a couple years of being together
Ok he eats the treats you bake in moderation in front of you ,,, but you’ve come across him more than once getting a midnight snack
🍪😦🧍🏻😅
Crumbs around his mouth and all LMAOOO
ok while he wouldn’t understand the basketball obsession completely he WILL put on a Raptors jersey and sit and watch every game with you and love your reactions
He’s even recorded games for you if you were too busy to watch it and then when you have the time to watch it he IS WEARING HIS JERSEY AND TURNING IT ON ALREADY AND YOURE JUST 🥺🤲🏼
But he’s just 😒 don’t make a big deal out of it
He takes things you’ve baked him to lunch every day bye
OK IM GONNA STOP NOW LMAO
Your vibe reminds me of...
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Another suitable match for you would be...
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ Jean Kirschtein
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OK LISTEN THIS WAS SO HARD
I was reading and I was using my brain HARD I almost said Eren but I don’t think he’d be making smart decisions for y’all... and that mf is too indecisive y’all would really get nothing done LMAO
Apparently I just really love you and Jean
Okok ANYWAYS
Literally the most reliable and attentive mf
He’s a MASTER at being a simp without being too clingy
Always buying things you need from the store (he’s a lil bit of a rich boy too cmon now)
He remembers ALL of your favorite snacks and drinks
And when they change he makes a mental note of it
Literally a quarter of his brain is a roladex of your favorite Haribo gummy’s it’s ridiculous LMAO
He absolutely refuses to share things you bake him with literally anyone
God forbid Sasha gets a whiff, he swears he’ll fist fight her
ITS NOT JUST CAUSE ITS GOOD EITHER
He thinks it’s so special cause you made it for ~him so why tf should someone else get a taste 🤨☝🏼
He’s not even a lowkey simp at this point
The way he’d spoil you pls...
Like at some point you’re like Jean I- I only need so many necklaces
Yeah he’ll just move on to the next thing
Ok this a lil saucey but he’s definitely the type to buy you lingerie he wants to see on you
And if you’re feeling nervous or insecure he’s gonna be all over you and saying all kinds of things in your ear since you’re too shy to make eye contact
Your face is buried in his chest and he’s just running his hands down your sides and whispering little things in your ear like how pretty you are for him and how good you are for trying this on for him
ANYWAYS
He would love to bake with you as a date 🥺🤲🏼
I don’t think he’d be that great ... but he tries!!
And he gets to spend time with you, even if you are laughing at him 🖤
Another one who’s a decision maker
He’s gonna ask you more than tsuki would LMAO but ultimately he’s taking charge in the relationship
He just loves you so much pls
Your vibe reminds me of...
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Baby I hope I did this justice 😪🤲🏼 I’m literally in love with you they better watch out... 🔪🧍🏻‍♀️......
Requests are open until February 26th 8:00 pm PST
-🐇out
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artificialqueens · 4 years
Text
Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, 10 (Branjie) (and background everyone) - Ortega
a/n: omg HIIIIII hihihihihi i’m SO SORRY for the update gap fam, i started back at work and have been crAzy busy ever since! however i tried to make this chapter one that was worth the wait…….insert one thousand eye emojis if ya know what i mean. hope u enjoy!
fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.
And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.
***
20th November 2020
Vanessa is giggling as Akeria sits with an enormous plastic bag of snacks in front of her on the hard plastic train table. She’s looking at them with the long-suffering eyes of a wearied mother, casting her hands over them as if she doesn’t quite know where to start. She finally picks up a bag of chocolate buttons, stands up in her seat and yells out into the train carriage.
“Okay, whose are the buttons?”
“Oh! Those are ours. Thanks, Kiki,” Jan stands up from the two-seater she’s got beside Jackie and behind Vanessa and Brooke, leaning forward over them to grab the snacks.
“Strawberry laces?”
“Mine!” Crystal cries happily, leaning over Gigi from the table seat they’re sharing with Jaida and Yvie opposite them. She snatches the sweets out of Akeria’s hand and follows it up with a thank you.
“Barbecue Pringles- wait, that’s Yvie’s,” Akeria immediately cuts herself off, leaning over the aisle of the carriage and handing Yvie the tube.
“I’m nothing if not predictable,” she shrugs, ripping off the plastic covering and the paper on top to grab a crisp and then offer one to her dance partner.
“Tangfastics?” Akeria yells out. There’s a pause where nobody claims them. Akeria gives a long-suffering roll of her eyes and yells a little louder. “Tangfastics?!”
Vanessa watches Monique give a jolt in the two-seater she’s sharing with Monet. “Shit, sorry Keeks, that’s ours!”
(Vanessa suspects that Monique’s delay in hearing her snack might be because of the way Monet’s got her hand resting on her thigh and had been whispering something to her moments before, but she’ll park that for now, use it to make fun of her at a later date.)
“God damn, stop gazin’ in Monet’s eyes for two whole seconds,” Akeria teases her, to a hoot of laughter from the other girls and a glare from Monique herself.
“Can’t help it that they’re so dark and intoxicating,” Monet pipes up with a dramatic gesture. Asia yells at her to shut up from over her headrest. A little further down the carriage, Vanessa can see a businessman shaking his head in despair.
“Gigi, that’s your fruit platter,” Akeria hands the tub across the aisle, already able to tell the model’s choice of snack. Vanessa silently takes the bags of Starbursts and chilli heatwave Doritos that she’d asked Akeria to pick up for her and Brooke respectively. “Whose are the Haribos?”
There’s another silence. Vanessa has to hold in her laughter at Akeria’s growing frustration. “Girls, I swear to Jesus, y’all cannot send me to the shop to grab all your motherfuckin’ snacks and then not claim ‘em! Who ordered the goddamn Haribos?!”
Asia blinks suddenly, looks up from her phone and tugs Akeria’s sleeve. “Bitch! Those are ours, we got them! Sit your dumb ass down!”
The girls all roar with laughter as Akeria sheepishly sinks back into her seat. Vanessa can’t help but give a little bounce in her seat from excitement because they’ve made it; she’s off to Blackpool with a girl that likes her back, her two best friends, and the rest of the dorks they’re sharing the competition with. They’ve got a Cha Cha Cha this week which they’ve practised, polished and perfected, and Vanessa can feel a little bite of excitement to the cold air which makes her think maybe…maybe this week it’s their time to get a few more tens and perhaps be top of the leaderboard this week. She’s confident, and she knows Brooke is too. They chatted through their thoughts about the week ahead when Vanessa walked Brooke to the tube station the night before, and her heart still gives a little excitable thud when Vanessa remembers the way they’d stolen a kiss in the dark just beside the entrance.
Whatever it is they are feels like one of the fairytales Vanessa used to watch when she was little on VHS tape, the ones she used to rewind the moment they were done to go all the way back to the start. She and Brooke are still focused on the competition obviously, so for now they’re still content with stealing kisses behind the scenes of It Takes Two, going for dates that aren’t really dates and are more mid-rehearsal lunches, long and lingering goodbye cuddles where Vanessa rests her head against Brooke’s chest and wishes she was going home with her instead of to her own empty flat. It’s nameless and exciting and a bit of a foray into the unknown, only Vanessa knows it’s not really so much of an unknown because she trusts Brooke, she knows she likes her back and how much she’s devoted to her. It’s the way Brooke nuzzles against Vanessa’s hair and mutters a compliment about how talented she is, or the way she’ll stop mid-kiss to just murmur about how beautiful Vanessa is against her lips, or the way she links their pinkies together midway through a rehearsal break and shyly comment on how lucky she is. It all makes Vanessa’s heart feel huge and light and fast in her chest, a helium balloon filled with butterflies.
“Guys! Train selfie!” Crystal cries suddenly, jolting Vanessa out of her daydream. Vanessa leans onto the middle of the table to squeeze herself into shot and yelps when Brooke tugs her back.
“You just totally Mike Wazowski’d me!”
“Oh like anyone could miss you in any photo, fuckin’ lil miss beanstalk bitch!” Vanessa teases her, the girls all laughing in response.
“So funny that half your fans think you’re datin’. You two fight like cat an’ dog on the daily,” Asia rolls her eyes and snorts. Vanessa feels her body spark with electricity as Brooke takes her hand under the table and squeezes it a couple of times in secret.
She feels guilty as she looks to Akeria who’s raising her eyebrows at her, still very aware of her crush. It’s not that Vanessa has kept things secret from her and Monique intentionally. It’s just that she and Brooke have been so wrapped up in each other and their rehearsals, not to mention the fact that they haven’t had a girls’ night in forever. Vanessa resolves to tell them this weekend, having to bite back a smile as she thinks about their potential reactions.
“Guys, get in the fucking selfie already! My arm is hurting!”
Vanessa leans back into Brooke’s chest and feels something in her ribcage blossom as Brooke puts her arms around her in a hug for the photo.
The train starts moving and all the girls give an excited squeal of delight which makes two old ladies a few seats down look at them all suspiciously. There’s a flash of recognition in their eyes after a second and their attitude changes, judgemental eyes becoming kind. Vanessa wonders if it will ever fully sink in that she’s ‘famous’, a public figure. Right now it just feels as if she’s going on some big mad girls’ weekend away with her second family and a girl she really fucking likes.
The evening is mostly taken up by the train ride, all the girls having rehearsed during the day and trundled their suitcases to the train when they were done. Yvie vlogs, Crystal and Gigi chatter excitedly, and Akeria and Asia bicker about who’s eaten the most buttons. Vanessa and Brooke for their part hold hands underneath the table, share little smiles that speak both volumes and a thousand words, and flirt just enough to make Vanessa’s heart beat out her chest but not enough to arouse suspicion. All the while they speed past towns that she’s never heard of and will never visit, blurs of green and grey shrouded in the dark of the Autumn night sky.
The train doesn’t go all the way to Blackpool so they have to change at Preston, which Vanessa knows nothing about other than the fact it’s got a train station. The girls find the platform for their connecting train and mill about, stopping once to take photos with an adorable little Strictly fan who can’t be more than eight years old. Vanessa chats away with her way more than the other girls do because the little girl’s dark hair, nut brown skin and huge brown eyes make her miss her own little cousins back in Puerto Rico. She asks her about school, and if she dances, and what she wants to be when she grows up.
When the girl replies, “a dancer like you”, Vanessa almost tears up.
She tells her not to give up on her dreams- because it’s what eight year old her would’ve needed to hear- and then waves her and her Mum goodbye. By the time she’s finished chatting and she turns back around, Brooke is waiting for her with a little smile on her face.
“What? What’s that look for?” Vanessa laughs a little. She wants nothing more than to wrap her arms around Brooke’s waist in a hug but the platform is busy and the other girls could see them.
“Nothing. Just you’re really cute with kids.”
Vanessa smiles bashfully, looks to the ground. When she looks up again Brooke has come a little closer to her. Vanessa pouts as she very gently threads the tips of their fingers together, the closest they can come to holding hands in public.
“I wanna kiss you so bad right now.”
“Let’s do it,” Brooke giggles quietly, a little sparkle in her eyes. “Let’s just start making out and watch how the girls react. Yvie would put it in one of her fucking vlogs.”
“Storytime- my Strictly co-stars just kissed?” Vanessa jokes, and Brooke wheezes a laugh which in turn makes the other girls turn round. Vanessa immediately drops their hands as Asia eyes them both with suspicion.
Brooke looks back at her and Vanessa can feel her pulse speed up at the adoration that’s in her eyes. “You look so good today, let me take a candid that’s not really a candid.”
“A plandid,” Vanessa shrugs back, then screws up her face. “I look like shit though. I sweated all my makeup off in rehearsal, my skin’s all dry from that train heater an’ I’m wearing sweatpants I’ve owned for six years.”
“Still cute though,” Brooke winks, and Vanessa tries to suppress a smile as she relents, shakes her hair out and looks down the platform. She’s surprised to find the train making its way up the tracks and after a second she leaps back, grabbing her suitcase and Brooke’s arm and yelling to the other girls.
It’s only when they’re on the train again when she gets an Instagram tag and realises that Brooke managed to take the photo, and she has to admit she doesn’t look too bad. She’s confused, though, when she sees what Brooke has captioned it.
bhytes: sls 🧡
Vanessa looks quickly at Brooke before tapping out a message to her.
V: what’s sls mean??? x
She watches Brooke’s reaction in real time as she receives the message. Her eyes widen a little and a pink blush appears on her cheeks, almost as if she’s been caught at something. Vanessa watches her fingers hover over the screen, typing against the air as she tries to figure out how to reply. Eventually, Vanessa’s phone buzzes again.
B: Oh I meant to type sis!!!! Silly typo x
Vanessa narrows her eyes- she’s not buying that for a second. Sure enough as she goes back to Brooke’s Instagram page there’s a small “Edited” beside her caption, and it now reads what Brooke had just told her she’d allegedly meant to type. Feeling a little guilty for snooping, Vanessa scrolls through the comments- there’s one from Yvie already, and another from Jackie, and some from Brooke’s friends and colleagues of course, but eventually she reaches the fans.
branjie2020: SHE EDITED IT IM-
strictlybranjie: Brooke we see u girl
brookelynnbites: not little mix secret love song…………
Intrigued, Vanessa looks up the lyrics and instantly she knows why Brooke had been shy with her. Now blushing herself, Vanessa puts her phone face down on the table and loses herself in thought. She thinks about the lyrics. Why can’t I say that I’m in love…it’s just a song, Brooke probably just meant the sentiment generally, but still. Vanessa can’t help but wonder if maybe they could make something of whatever it is that they are, a fling between two members of a TV show. Maybe they’ll be together when this is all over, and maybe…well. Vanessa hasn’t told anyone that she loves them like that since Kameron, and it would be a big deal if she said it to somebody else again. She’s not falling for Brooke yet; that would be ridiculous, especially given that they’ve not even so much as seen each other naked, but all Vanessa knows is that she really likes her, cares for her so much that it almost scares her, and whenever she’s around Vanessa feels as if she’s levitating.
Vanessa puts her jacket over her lap and wordlessly takes Brooke’s hand underneath it. She doesn’t miss the smile on Brooke’s face when she squeezes it reassuringly.
They all eventually reach Blackpool, the windy seaside weather and the sound of the seagulls greeting them as soon as they’re out of the train station. Their hotel isn’t far from the Tower Ballroom and Vanessa’s glad that they’re not staying at some run down B&B although the BBC, always eager to cut costs wherever they can, has booked them all in with each other in twin rooms. Vanessa isn’t mad about that. Admittedly after that moment they had in Brooke’s dressing room last Saturday she’s been thinking ever since about how she could engineer some form of sequel. She’s narrowed it down to finding an excuse to crawl into Brooke’s bed at night, bullshitting something about it being too cold in her own and how it would be so much warmer if they just slept together. That’s if she needs to be subtle, of course. Knowing how Brooke had practically slammed her against her dressing room door last week there’s probably not going to be much need for subtleties.
“I hope you don’t snore,” Brooke laughs, rolling her suitcase out of the lift and onto the carpet of the hotel corridors. Vanessa lets out an incredulous snort.
“Bitch! Do I seem like the kinda girl who snores? I’m insulted.”
“No, that’s true. I need to worry about you talking in your sleep instead. The loudest girl in the fucking cast,” Brooke laughs, Vanessa kicking a leg forward to knock Brooke’s suitcase off-balance as revenge. Even though it wobbles on its wheels, Brooke is undeterred. “I’m going to be trying to get to sleep and just as I think I’m drifting off all I’ll here is…AN’ FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT!”
“Shut up,” Vanessa giggles, giving Brooke a push as they both arrive in front of the hotel room door. Brooke presses the key card to the pad and walks in first, and Vanessa is too busy struggling with her case to gauge her reaction at first. That is until Brooke turns around from the spot she’s rooted to in the middle of the room.
“Oh.”
Vanessa frowns. She doesn’t really know why Brooke’s grown so awkward and quiet all of a sudden until she takes three steps forward and can see their room properly.
‘Oh’ is right. Because there, in the middle of their room, is a double bed. No, not double. King-sized, a king-sized fucking bed that’s probably the size of a small country village and is just for the two of them. All Vanessa’s plans go out the window because this is…new, and unknown territory. A quick makeout session in Brooke’s dressing room is one thing but the two of them haven’t even stayed over at either of their flats yet, they’ve never shared a bed in any context before. Vanessa bites her lip.
“Well…” Brooke says finally, trails off. Vanessa realises that she’s not going to finish her sentence.
“Um. I can go down and get ‘em to change it?” she offers, regretting it as soon as she’s said it because despite it all being new territory she’s not exactly opposed to it.
“No! No, it’s fine,” Brooke says- a little too quickly, Vanessa thinks, which causes her to suppress a smirk and try not to let her thoughts get carried away. “I mean, we’re both adults, it’s fine. Plus it’ll probably be comfier, right?”
“Yeah. Sure, right,” Vanessa nods and agrees, trying not to seem too eager.
It’s late by that point, so the pair of them unpack, trying to chat easily but the elephant in the room shaped like a king-sized bed is still very much present. Vanessa showers before bed and changes into her pyjamas, a little embarrassed at how scruffy her small black cami top and mid-length bottoms are. When Brooke comes back from her own shower, though, already changed into her pyjama set, Vanessa’s mouth dries up. She’s dressed in a matching set made up of a little pink satin shirt and shorts, the black cording at the hem of which is only drawing Vanessa’s eyes to Brooke’s thighs and not at all helping the bed situation.
Brooke clearly sees her looking and raises an eyebrow. “Cute, right?”
Vanessa snaps out of her daze. “What?”
“The pyjamas. They’re from like…Asos or Missguided or something? One of them,” she replies, hopping into bed and under the covers on the other side. Vanessa inches away from her a little, careful not to make their bodies touch because this is different to dancing and it’s not as simple as just being able to wrap her body around Brooke’s or make some stupid move because there’s no performance high or adrenaline or alcohol, it’s just…them. The pair of them in the same bed with the silence of the room surrounding them and the dark of the night outside hidden from view by the blinds Vanessa pulled down. As Brooke gives her a quick kiss and leans over to her side of the bed to turn the light off, she gives a quick look back to Vanessa.
“Night, babe.”
Vanessa gives a small, nervous smile back as she says goodnight. They shuffle under the covers to get comfortable and the silence falls again. Vanessa should say something, do something, reach out and take Brooke’s hand or lean in again. But everything is new and different and the time just isn’t right and she has no idea if Brooke even wants to go there with her yet, so instead she closes her eyes and attempts to sleep.
But in the morning, things are different. The moment Vanessa stirs she can tell there’s something in the air. She blinks open her eyes, the sun peeking through the slats of the blinds already too bright. That’s not it, though. That’s not what’s different.
And then as she gains a little bit more consciousness it hits her like a ton of bricks.
Brooke’s leg is thrown over her thigh, her arm around her waist, and her body is pressed up against hers. Vanessa feels a little tingle flash between her legs. For one thing, it’s cute that Brooke’s sought Vanessa out to cuddle during the night- whether she was asleep or awake for that decision Vanessa doesn’t know, but it’s nice either way. But on the other hand, Brooke’s little satin shorts have risen up to expose most of her thigh, and it’s not helping Vanessa think rationally right now.
Slowly, Vanessa starts tracing soft patterns on Brooke’s arm in a bid to wake her up: little figures of eight, then her name, then love hearts because if Brooke’s asleep she can’t work out that that’s what they are. Brooke’s leg shifts against her, and Vanessa can feel a heat against her thigh which she can’t decide whether or not helps or worsens the situation she’s in. Just then, she feels Brooke’s thumb give a little movement, a small stroke against the skin of Vanessa’s stomach where her cami top has risen up during the night. When her thumb moves again, Vanessa knows she’s woken up.
Neither of them have spoken yet and Brooke’s still stroking at her stomach, so Vanessa shuffles back in her arms just in case she’s still half asleep. She hears Brooke give a stifled yawn on the pillow behind her, hears her breathing shallow out. She’s awake, so Vanessa can take things up a gear. She moves her fingers from her arm to Brooke’s thigh, keeping her touch light and gentle as she traces a little patch of skin just at the outside. She feels Brooke shift against her in response, tries not to think too much about her thighs or what’s in between them because she knows she’ll overwhelm herself, flip round to straddle her and end up begging her to make her come apart. This moment is good. It’s gentle and tense all at once, the pair of them just touching and teasing each other, a mutual understanding even though nothing’s been said. This is different to last night- there’s no awkwardness, there’s no tentativeness, there’s just Brooke’s body wrapped around Vanessa’s and there’s only so many places that situation can lead.  
Vanessa feels Brooke press a small kiss to her shoulder blade and it makes her heart flutter, a hummingbird caged in her ribs. Brooke’s fingers trail a little higher to stroke under the material of her top and Vanessa feels herself melt. She wiggles in Brooke’s lap, knowing how it’ll drive her crazy given the amount of comments the girl’s made about how much she loves her ass and how completely obvious she’s made it. In response, Vanessa feels Brooke sigh against her neck, kissing it once, twice, three times.
Vanessa feels her resolve cracking so she traces a little higher on Brooke’s leg, decides to break the silence. She tries to keep the smirk out of her voice but it’s hard when Brooke bucks against her thigh again. “Good morning.”
Brooke gives a little whine against her neck which makes Vanessa press her thighs together, raising her own hips in an attempt to gain some sort of friction. “Morning.”
Vanessa presses her lips together in a suppressed smile, her next move falling into place in her head. “Y’know, I think I’m gonna get up an’ start gettin’ ready.”
“No,” Brooke whines, the arm around her waist pulling her closer, and Vanessa can hear the pout in her voice. She feels Brooke rub against her thigh again and it’s almost impeding her ability to think straight at this point.
She’s having fun winding her up though and she knows she’ll be able to have Brooke begging for her if she keeps it up, so she attempts to turn around a little to face her. She can’t really manage it, but she doesn’t mind too much. She just wants to see Brooke’s face when she delivers her next line, keeps her tone light and ever-so-slightly mocking. “Why not, boo?”
Vanessa decides to shuffle round, can hear Brooke whine in frustration now that she no longer has something to grind against. When she sees Brooke blushing, biting her lip with her hand now pressed between her thighs, it’s the hottest thing Vanessa has seen in probably years.
Brooke’s still not answered- instead she’s trying to shuffle close to Vanessa, presumably to kiss her, but Vanessa’s enjoying her moment of being in charge, so she lays her hand against Brooke’s chest to stop her and narrows her eyes. “Uh-uh. You gotta tell me why I shouldn’t leave this bed.”
Brooke only blushes harder, and Vanessa’s knocked for six. Brooke is actually shy. This confident, stone-cold goddess is getting embarrassed at the prospect of talking dirty to Vanessa in bed.
Vanessa’s brain is hotwiring.
“Don’t go quiet on me, princess,” Vanessa murmurs, bringing her other hand down to stroke at Brooke’s exposed skin again, this time against the visible strip of her inner thigh. “Can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell me what it is.”
“Please…kiss me, fuck-”
Brooke’s barely got the words out when Vanessa bridges the gap between them, meets Brooke’s lips with her own and kisses her softly and gently. She knows Brooke wants more, knows she’s getting herself worked up beside her but Vanessa’s enjoying having the power for now because knowing Brooke it won’t be long before she tries to take it back. When Vanessa pulls away Brooke is pouting, all disappointed that Vanessa’s lips are no longer on hers. Vanessa hears Brooke give a little gasp and then a whine as she takes her hand, the one Brooke’s grinding against, brings it out from between her thighs and places it by her side. There’s an unspoken rule between them that Brooke’s not allowed to replace it.
“Please, ‘Ness,” she pouts, and Vanessa would find it cute if her hands weren’t trailing up and down her waist. Brooke paws at her, needy and desperate, stops to rest her hands on her ass.
“You’re so polite. Such a good girl for me,” Vanessa praises her, kissing her pouty lips and delighting in the way Brooke moans against her. Vanessa strokes her hair with the hand she’s not propping herself up with and she can tell Brooke wants it somewhere else.
“Please,” Brooke says again, her eyelids heavy and her pupils blown. Vanessa feels herself give a small laugh.
“I don’t know what you want, baby.”
“You know what I want, fuck,” Brooke whines, her eyes fluttering closed. She thuds her head against the pillow in frustration, grabs at Vanessa’s ass in an attempt to pull her closer.
“You want me to touch you?” Vanessa murmurs, and Brooke nods her head frantically in response. She trails her hand down Brooke’s neck and down her chest, stops when she sees Brooke’s nipples poking through the satin fabric of her pyjama top. Vanessa bites her lip as she flicks her thumb against one, squeezes her thighs together for the hundredth time when she hears Brooke let out a moan. She teases her slowly and gently, can feel her own breathing deepening as Brooke writhes against the sheets. Brooke’s hand drifts from Vanessa’s ass to the waistband of her own shorts and Vanessa stops touching her, moving her hand to her wrist instead.
“You want me to just sit and watch you touch yourself? Sit here on the bed with you fuckin’ yourself with your fingers instead of letting me fuck you instead?” Vanessa asks her, making sure to keep a warning tone to her voice as she draws away. Brooke whines, instantly ripping her hand out from between her legs and pulling Vanessa close with it instead.
“No, baby, I’ll be good.”
“You gonna be good for me?”
“Uh-huh.”
Vanessa feels sorry for her at this point so she lies on her side against the mattress, tucks herself in beside Brooke and traces the skin just above the waistband of her shorts. Brooke is letting out a litany of whines as Vanessa inches her hand under the material, stops and presses a gentle finger against Brooke’s slit. Vanessa feels herself gasp as she feels how wet she is already, slick against her finger and dripping on the inside of her thighs.
“Fuck,” Vanessa whispers, leans in to kiss Brooke’s neck. She’s managed to find herself an actual Aphrodite and she’s never felt more religious in her life. She tilts her head as she slides a finger up to brush against Brooke’s clit, eliciting a gasp from Brooke who bites her lip and squeezes her eyes shut. “What would people say if they knew that Brooke Lynn Hytes, confident, boss-ass, sex-on-legs bitch, turns into a lil’ whiny, bratty, needy princess when she wants to come so badly?”
“Vanessa, please,” Brooke practically sobs in response. Her hips lift high off the mattress as Vanessa rubs little circles against her. Vanessa desperately wants to feel how wet she is again but she’s wondering if she can wind her up even more, so she moves her lips up to whisper in Brooke’s ear.
“Remember when I sent you that message by accident?” Vanessa asks, her voice a low murmur. Brooke hisses in response and Vanessa sees her grab a fistful of the duvet.
“Shit, you know I got myself off to the thought of you lying in bed all wet and needy after you had that dream,” Brooke gasps out, and Vanessa’s eyes fly open in shock. If Brooke didn’t have her knees bent and propped up then she would probably straddle her thigh and try to ride it until she came because God, the idea that Brooke touched herself thinking about her in the morning and then came into the studios and acted as if it had never happened with her afterwards is just too much. Almost as a reward for the information Brooke’s just given her, Vanessa slides a finger inside her and hears Brooke moan in response.  
“Y’know you were the girl from the dream,” Vanessa drops her lips down to Brooke’s neck, kissing it hot and slow as she slides a second finger into Brooke and presses the rest of her hand gently against her clit. Brooke gives a gasp that’s almost sacrilegious.
Brooke is writhing beside her, frantic and desperate and frustrated and Jesus fucking Christ if Vanessa couldn’t just come from the sight of that alone. “Tell me. Tell me what happened.”
So Vanessa whispers in Brooke’s ear about how she’d kissed her, how Brooke had told her how much she’d wanted her, how Vanessa had begged her to touch her and how Brooke had got her off through her underwear, and she hears Brooke gasp and moan and whine in response to each new revelation. Vanessa fucks her gently with her fingers and Brooke is so wet around her that it’s sending her into a frenzy herself. Suddenly, Vanessa has an idea.
“And you told me you thought I would taste good,” Vanessa tells her, tipping her head up a little to gauge Brooke’s reaction.
“Fuck…want to taste you so bad,” Brooke pleads.
All her shyness seems to be gone now that she’s riding Vanessa’s fingers desperately, and even though Vanessa thought shy Brooke was cute, this version of Brooke- the Brooke that knows what she wants, the Brooke that’s loud and vocal and messy- is her favourite. Vanessa gently removes her hand from between Brooke’s legs, ignoring the nearly apocalyptic whine Brooke lets out in response to the lack of contact, and takes Brooke’s hand from where it’s still digging into the duvet. Vanessa shifts a little, spreads her own legs as she guides Brooke’s hand between them, and her heart is almost beating out of her chest as Brooke eagerly brushes two fingers over her, hears her gasp as her fingers slide up her slit easily from how wet she is.
Brooke’s fingers feel like heaven as they push softly inside her, pumping gently, and Vanessa’s moan is cut off by Brooke’s lips against hers. Brooke’s kisses are slow and wet and she teases Vanessa’s tongue with her own as Vanessa bucks her hips underneath her. For a moment, her plan to make Brooke come is thrown into disarray as she thinks maybe she could just lie here and let Brooke tease her and finger her until she does instead.
“Oh my fuckin’ God you feel so good,” Vanessa whispers out in one breath, the way she sounds so broken already making her blush and bite her lip. Brooke’s gaze is dark- she’s watching the way Vanessa bucks her hips up to meet her fingers as they slide out of her, greedy and desperate just like Brooke had been.
“So wet and I never even touched you,” Brooke whispers, the little bit of awe in her voice sending Vanessa into the stratosphere. “You got this worked up over me?”
“You should see how good you look when you wanna come so bad,” Vanessa murmurs back, turning to watch as Brooke takes her fingers and wraps her lips around them, slides them into her mouth and sucks on them.
Every single time Brooke does something new Vanessa thinks it’s the sexiest thing she’s ever seen, so the fact that Brooke’s no longer touching her isn’t helping at all. Brooke’s a goddess though and she wants to worship her properly so Vanessa leans over her, doesn’t even bother trying to manoeuvre around the waistband of Brooke’s shorts this time and instead just trails her fingers up Brooke’s inner thigh, moves the material to one side and teases her again with her fingers. She rubs gently against Brooke’s clit and can hear her breathing coming in short gasps, knows she’s close so Vanessa kisses her, deep and fiery and hot, then murmurs against her lips as Brooke’s hisses and whines get increasingly louder.
“You know once you come I’m gonna let you do whatever you want to me.”
Brooke gasps and Vanessa watches her eyes roll back into their sockets. “Fuck, I’m gonna get you back for teasing me so fucking bad you won’t be able to sit right for a week never mind fucking dance- ah!”
Brooke’s reacted to Vanessa pulling her hand away. Vanessa’s making sure her eyes are dark, giving Brooke a warning. “Is that trash talk, or are you gonna be good for me?”
“Please, Vanessa!” Brooke nearly yells into the room, and Vanessa thinks that perhaps she’s put the poor girl through enough so she replaces her fingers, works Brooke’s clit until she’s gasping beside her, little shudders racking her body.
“‘Ness, I’m gonna- ah!”
As Brooke comes, Vanessa crashes their lips together, and the sound of Brooke’s muffled whines gives her a better high than any drug ever could. When she’s sure Brooke’s finished Vanessa leans back against the mattress, exhausted. Her left side is practically numb from propping herself up, her neck is tense and her right hand is aching but fuck if that hadn’t been the best sex of Vanessa’s life and she hasn’t even come yet.
“You good?” Vanessa asks Brooke once she’s got her breath back. Brooke is on her back, her eyes wide and staring up to the ceiling, her hair plastered all over her face and her chest shiny with sweat. Vanessa watches as she moves her mouth once, twice, trying to come up with something to say and failing.
“I don’t have any words,” she finally says, and Vanessa bursts out laughing beside her. Brooke giggles, then suddenly scowls, reaches behind her head for her pillow and thumps Vanessa with it.
“Hey! What the fuck was that for?”
“You were so mean!” Brooke half-pouts, half-laughs and she leans over Vanessa, cages her in with her arms. Even after sex she still looks incredible in her pyjamas, and Vanessa finds herself rubbing her thighs together, trying and failing to find something to rut against. Brooke obviously notices this and Vanessa watches the little flash in her eyes as she grabs Vanessa’s wrists, pins them above her head in one swift motion.
Vanessa almost dissolves.
“You know I’m used to being in charge, right? That was very out of character for me,” Brooke cocks an eyebrow at her. Vanessa smirks back at her, anticipation building low in her stomach at the thought of Brooke bossing her around and roughing her up a little.
“Well then maybe you need to put me in my place.”
When Brooke straddles her, leans down and meets her lips in a kiss, Vanessa feels as if she’s made entirely of embers and flames. She pulls away and Vanessa realises that she’s tugging her pyjama bottoms off so Vanessa brings her knees up to her chest to help make things easier. Once they’re off Vanessa’s heart crashes against her ribcage as Brooke takes her legs and spreads them apart quickly, her palms holding Vanessa’s thighs down. As Brooke leans between her thighs Vanessa tangles one hand in her hair, her heart rate rising in anticipation as she feels herself throb. She waits for the contact of Brooke’s tongue, tipping her head back against the pillow.
It doesn’t come. Instead, she hears Brooke’s voice.
“You know, maybe I’m tired now after you played with me so much earlier. Maybe I just need to go back to sleep.”
Vanessa brings her head back up in shock and looks at Brooke’s face. She’s got a glint in her eye and a smug smile on her lips and Vanessa has never wanted to kiss the smirk off her face more. As much as she thinks the girl is a goddess, there’s no way she’s giving her what she wants that easily. “Uh-uh. I ain’t beggin’ you, Brooke.”
Brooke raises her eyebrows lazily, lightly scratches her nails down the insides of Vanessa’s thighs and in turn making her rapidly regret her last comment because she knows she’s going to be yelling Brooke’s name in probably a matter of minutes once she puts her mouth on her. “That’s some awfully big talk from someone who moments ago was trying to grind against air.”
“But I know you wanna feel how wet I am an’ hear what I sound like when I’m about to come,” Vanessa whispers, bucking her hips up because Brooke’s touching every little bit of her except the place she needs the contact most and it’s starting to kill her very slowly. “You want me ridin’ your face.”
Vanessa sees Brooke blink slowly, the composure and power she’s just built up wavering just a little. Then she makes eye contact again, presses kisses up Vanessa’s inner thigh that make her feel as if she’s burning up.
“Yeah,” Brooke murmurs against Vanessa’s skin, punctuating her sentence with kisses. “But I also know that I want to hear you beg me for it, and you’re not going to come until you ask me nicely.”
“Fuck,” Vanessa whines, letting her head thud against the pillow. She regrets teasing Brooke so badly. Actually she doesn’t at all, but her behaviour is coming back to bite her and it’s not fun. She’s shocked into a gasp as Brooke licks up her slit, the contact gone almost as soon as it’s there. “Brooke, baby, c’mon, this ain’t fair.”
“Is it not? I think it’s perfectly fair,” Brooke laughs softly and traces patterns into her inner thighs that make Vanessa want to scream. “I had to be a good girl for you, now you have to be one for me.”
“Honestly you could be doing whatever you want to me right now an’ all you want is for me to say fuckin’ please?” Vanessa hisses, frustrated and incredulous and ready to fucking explode.
“I want you to be good for me. Good girls use their manners.”
As if to drive her point home Brooke kisses up her thigh and then licks against her again, too much and not enough all at once. Vanessa needs Brooke’s mouth and her tongue and her lips and so her resolve cracks all too quickly like a sheet of ice.
“Okay, okay, okay, God fucking damn it…please, Brooke.”
“Can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell me what it is,” Brooke replies instantly. The bitch is using Vanessa’s own words against her for her own gain and it’s infuriating Vanessa as she bucks her hips in the air, writhes against the mattress.
“Want you to use your mouth, fuck, please.”
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
All at once Vanessa feels as if she’s been shot out of a cannon because when Brooke’s tongue finally licks at her clit slowly and gently Vanessa thinks she’s ascending to heaven at about a million miles per hour. When Vanessa brings her hand back to tangle in Brooke’s hair, Brooke takes her wrist and holds it down with one hand, putting her even more in control. Vanessa can still use her hips though and she does exactly what she said she was going to do- rides Brooke’s face as her tongue brings her closer and closer to the edge and makes her even more wet than she’d been in the first place. Vanessa would probably feel embarrassed at how much she’s writhing and whining and moaning underneath Brooke if her mouth didn’t feel so fucking perfect, and with every flick and swirl of her tongue Vanessa feels more and more like a raging fire that needs to be put out.  
“Brooke Lynn, fuck, you’re gonna make me fuckin’-”
Brooke’s nails dig into her thighs as Vanessa comes with a loud cry, the blaze burning her up finally extinguished. Vanessa sinks back into the pillows and Brooke simply relaxes with her head against Vanessa’s stomach. It makes her wish that they could just spend all day in their hotel room and learn each other’s bodies, figure out everything the other likes in the space of a single day.
“Wish we didn’t have to get up,” Brooke sighs against her skin, presses a kiss to her stomach which makes it flutter. Vanessa smiles lazily, laces their fingers together which makes Brooke smile in turn. Brooke’s voice is soft as she keeps talking. “So was that, um…good? For you?”
Vanessa starts giggling, gives Brooke a gentle kick with her foot. “Jesus, dare you to sound any more like a 19 year old boy who just lost his virginity.”
Brooke gives an offended cry, plants her lips to Vanessa’s stomach and blows a giant raspberry against her skin that makes her howl with laughter and curl in on herself like a woodlouse.
Vanessa fights through her laughter. “Oh my God okay, okay! I’m sorry. Of course it was good, fuckin’ amazing. The whole fuckin’ buildin’ prolly knows how good it was, think I damn near yelled the place down.”
“Not entirely great for the whole keeping-us-on-the-down-low thing, though.”
“I guess you’d know, havin’ just spent a decent amount of time on the down low,” Vanessa wiggles her eyebrows and causes Brooke to yelp a laugh.
Charmed by the other woman’s reaction, Vanessa gently slides herself out from underneath her and steals the duvet to wrap around herself as she crosses the short distance to the window and pulls the string on the blinds to open them up. She smiles as she’s greeted by the seafront view: the sea icy but blue under the sunny November sky, the golden sand of the beach, the little rattle of the tram that’s making its way along the waterfront. The smile is still on Vanessa’s face as she turns to take in the sight of Brooke still splayed out on the mattress. She’s got that post-sex glow with the light hitting her toned skin and her hair all messed up around her face like a scribble of a halo.
Vanessa feels a tug on her heart, a longing even though she knows Brooke is hers.
“Welcome to Blackpool, baby. Let’s get those tens.”
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mystery-deer · 4 years
Text
My Notes on Jacqueline Peralta
Jacqueline “Jack” Peralta is a lesbian Jake Peralta that I sometimes think about and here are my sporadic notes on her
Charles call her “Jackie” Trying very hard to be cool but it’s not working well Internalized misogyny only directed towards herself really?? Thinks badass means masculine, thinks Rosa is very cool for openly liking more girly stuff as well as knives. Gina describes her as “Clumsy girl in a romcom type vibe or like if Bruce Willis had great tits” (’Assuming he doesn’t ALREADY!?’) She will wear suits to formal events. She can also rock a dress of course but suits... She still had that big ol crush on that girl who left her at the prom but this time they went as “”friends.”” The betrayal still stings. We said we were OVER boys!!! Charles is her best friend still and people wonder about their relationship for like ONE second until they get to know Charles and understand he wouldn’t be able to hide a crush on her at ALL. He just thinks she’s THE COOLEST!! Jack dates guys for very short periods of time and seems very uninterested or anxious about a long term relationship. She often cites some small imperfection or incompatibility to break up with them. “He liked black forest gummy bears OVER HARIBO!! He was INSANE!!! I would have ended up under his floorboards Ames.” She’s labeled as “the ‘cool’ girl” or “one of the guys” by most men (especially in the academy) and has a hard time saying she’s uncomfortable with things in a way that isn’t jokey or read-between-the-lines. She’s proud of herself for just...toughing things out. She feels the need to be tough and funny and cool and light n breezy!  Her dad would not have much interest in her if she was being “fussy” and liked when he could pal around with her. Wanted to protect her mom the same as Jake after she found out her dad was kinda a shithead.  Roger seems pretty lowkey misogynistic with him being a serial adulterer and generally not respecting more than wanting to have sex with them? (We don’t really ever see why someone would WANT to have a long term relationship with him? He mostly just lies and talks about himself) So Jack never really had a good relationship with him, mostly just her listening to him talk and admiring him until she didn’t. (same as Jake but with an additional gendered undertone) Tried very hard to be low maintenance for him.  Also off topic but I don’t buy the Peralta boy curse and think Roger is just a shitty father who used his own father’s shitty behaviour and a “curse” to excuse what a bad dad he was. In this version he’s more like “Peraltas don’t do well with kids we’re always doomed to failure.” Both she and Amy missed out on a lot of stereotypical girly childhood stuff. Amy because she was a big nerd with very specific interests and Jack because she went through a heavy Tomboy NO PINK NO GIRLS phase. Jack begins to have a crush on Amy but mistakes it for admiration for her being secretly cool (”I’m not secretly cool, I was cool all along!”) I think Jack/Amy could be really sweet with like, Jack dating this slew of men she thinks are the kind of guy she should be attracted to; Conventionally handsome, smooth talking, very cool, owns a snake - and then she ends up falling for this intelligent and capable yet very cute lil nerd. Amy also has issues with feeling that she’s “the only girl at the table” and needs to prove herself and I think they could help each other with that and it could be a more central theme in their relationship!  Jack is a lesbian but comes out late in life (After Rosa comes out as bi, the scene where she roleplays as Rosa coming out is meaningful in this au and they discuss it afterwards. Rosa brings it up pretty bluntly. “Hey, you got real into that scene back there.” but doesn’t press her too hard.) 
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fluffyseapancakes · 6 years
Text
Truth Bombs
I am so overwhelmed by the support and kindness I received on the last two fics, thank you so much everyone! This one is a bit long but I couldn’t help myself, it’s inspired from DanandPhilGames Truth Bombs #2 where they had a very interesting card. I hope you enjoy it!
You and Thomas Sanders are invited to play Truth Bombs at Dan and Phil’s apartment. Who knew this game could...tickle your funny bone. 
___________________________________________
“Hello DanandPhilGames combustibles! Welcome back to another installment of Truth Bombs, today we are graced by our friends from across the pond: Thomas Sanders and y/n!”
You laughed at Phil’s introduction and waved to the camera, “Hey guys!”
“Really Phil, combustibles?” Dan groaned, feigning annoyance.
“I ran out of ideas so I had to look up some synonyms of bombs,” Phil laughed, shrugging his shoulders. Dan just shook his head with amusement and started to explain the rules of the game.
You are sitting next to Dan, well actually, more like leaning into him. Dan and Phil’s table wasn’t exactly built for four people to squeeze into. You didn’t mind though, the physical contact with Dan was comforting and you could smell his shampoo. Phil, as usual, sat next to Dan and Thomas was sitting at the end.
“Time to draw the question cards!” Phil cheerfully said. “Y/n, draw the first question!”
You smile and take a card from the deck. What is their spirit animal?
Dan laughed and nudged Phil, “I know what your answer is going to be!” Phil grinned and drew the next question card. What mythical creature would they keep as a pet?
“I want a hippogriff!” You exclaim, getting a high five of approval from Thomas.
It was Thomas' turn to draw a card. What fan fiction do they secretly read?
“Didn’t you guys do this card with PJ and Sophie?” You laugh.
“We can do it again! It would be fun to see the different answers,” Phil grinned.
“Alright everyone, when you’re ready, pass the card to your right!” Dan passed his card to Phil. You passed yours to Dan and grabbed Thomas’. “Fill out an empty answer slot and pass it again when you’re done.”
This whole process consisted of fits of giggles and cheeky comments between the four of you. You were worried that you wouldn’t be able to think of clever answers, but it turned out to be pretty easy when you got the hang of it. You finally got Dan’s paper and smirked at the other answers. There was only one slot left. What fan fiction do they secretly read? You thought for a second, trying to come up with an answer that was both funny and true to Dan. Suddenly a memory popped up in your mind and silently laughing to yourself, you fill out the final slot.
“And now we are going to read the answers on the cards! The person on the card has to choose their favorite answer and guess who wrote it. Dan, you start!” Phil very energetically said to the camera.
Dan smiled, “Ok, I have Phil’s card:”
Team Name: ICE-P
Spirit Animal: dead baby badgers
Mythical Creature as Pet: a capybara that shoots Haribo out of its nipples
Fan Fiction: Phil x Haribo smut
“Don’t remind me of those badgers!” Phil laughed, hiding his face in his hands. “And I’m not that obsessed with Haribo!”
“Which one’s your favorite then?” Dan laughed, patting Phil on the shoulder.
“I like the capybara one and I think…y/n wrote it!”
“Nope!” You laughed, clapping your hands. Phil gasped, “Thomas??”
“Guilty as charged,” Thomas smiled cheekily, raising his hand.
This time it was Phil’s turn to read Thomas’ card:
Team Name: T-DAWG
Spirit Animal: unicorns (because he’s too good to be true)
Mythical Creature as Pet: a singing dragon
Fan Fiction: Dodie fluff
“What’s with the unicorn comment?” Thomas laughed, blushing a light pink, “and the fan fiction one is so true, I love Dodie, so I guess that’s my favorite answer! And…y/n, did you write this?”
“Yep!” You laugh.
Thomas then started reading your card:
Team Name: Y/N ISONFIRE
Spirit Animal: a shaved alpaca
Mythical Creature: a cat that sasses people you hate
Fan Fiction: anything that involves Markiplier
“Oh shut up,” you laugh, remembering the moment when you met Mark for the first time at Vidcon and you had a mini mental breakdown. Dan and Phil basically had to hold you up so you wouldn’t collapse on the floor.
“My favorite answer is the shaved alpaca, they look like Q-tips,” you giggled, “and Dan, did you write it?”
“Yes!” Dan laughed victoriously.
Now it was your turn to read about Dan:
Team Name: LIL’ D
Spirit Animal: Maltesers
Mythical Creature: A furbee that slaps Phil every time he steals your cereal
Fan fiction: tickle fluff
“Why the hell would I read tickle fan fiction,” Dan’s face was beet red.
“Because we all know you enjoy it,” Phil grinned, giving his best friend a reassuring pat on the back, “and that’s ok because I’m sure Thomas and y/n likes it too!”
Thomas blushed slightly and smiled, “It’s fun! Especially if it’s someone you’re close with.”
You blush too, “I don’t have siblings or roommates so it doesn’t happen often, but I don’t mind it.”
Dan’s face was still red but he had a bashful smile on his face. “Who wrote this answer?”
You timidly raised your hand, “I remember last year at the New Years party Phil was tickling you and you seemed to like it. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”
Dan hugged you gently, “Y/n, it takes a lot for me to be uncomfortable so don’t you worry,” he laughed.
You suddenly jerked back when you felt fingers grabbing at your sides, you squeal and fall onto the floor. Thomas was standing over you with a mischievous grin.
“You said you don’t get tickled often, I think we should change that,” he straddles your legs and gently wiggles his fingers on your belly. You squeal and buck, laughing, “D-d-dan! Help me!”
You hear a yelp and look up to see Thomas in a fit of laugher as Dan has latched onto his ribs, but he quickly turned the tables and this time it was Dan hysterically laughing with his hips being attacked. Phil hugs you from behind, whispering in your ear, “You should really laugh more often,” and then wiggled his fingers in between your ribs. You break down into a fit of giggles and you twist around to massage his kneecap. Phil jerked his leg back with a snort, giving you enough time to pin him down and tickle his underarms.
The whole room filled with laughter, the tickle fight ensued for a couple more minutes until everyone ran out of breath and energy.
“Hey guys?” Phil panted out.
“Hm?” You mumble, laying on the ground with your head resting on Dan’s belly.
“The camera’s still on.”
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tigrerramon · 7 years
Text
Hey look @meetmyinnerdemons I finally did it ^^
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
My mother. She likes to use me as a walking stick on our strolls.
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
I’m probably the shyest person you’ll ever meet tbh.
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
All of my friends! I love to be around them ^^
4. Are you easy to get along with?
I suppose so? After you’ll break trough my first inner wall, of course. And if you don’t mind keeping the conversation going by yourself pretty much all the time.
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
The part about “person I like” confuses me a bit, but I don’t see any reason why anyone would take care of me anyhow, so I guess no.
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
Either smarter, nicer and more outgoing than I am (which are actually rather easy to find ^^’) or nerds and losers as miserable as me (which are a lil’ bit more difficult to spot XP).
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
Bwahahahahaha!!! X’DDD
...Oh wait, you were asking seriously?
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
Sherlock Holmes and doctor Watson, but they’re on my mind 24/7. As for real people... no one.
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Yup, actually. What do you know, I have the mind and maturity of an 8-year-old, of course I’m going to be uncomfortable.
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
My mother, I think.
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
“Good night (^^)/”
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
In no particular order:
Zinogre Theme [Intense Symphonic Metal Cover] by FalKKonE
Adrenalize by In This Moment 
Dear You -Cry- by Yuduki (the original and -Hope- versions could’ve also been there, but I decided to put this one on the list, since it’s probably my fave Dear You so far)
Magia by Kalafina
Lone Digger by Caravan Palace (DON’T JUDGE MEEEEEEEEE)
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
I kind of don’t have a choice X’D Really tho, I don’t mind.
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
If the fact that I’m still alive and well doesn’t prove it’s existence, then I don’t know what does X’D
15. What good thing happened this summer?
Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club and Monser Hunter Generations were probably the best things to happen.
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
You mean, to never kiss anyone? Sure, why not.
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
Maybe, maybe not. I don’t have much hope for that tho.
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
I was never talking to them in the first place, so X’D
19. Do you like bubble baths?
Waste of my precious time and water. I prefer quick showers.
20. Do you like your neighbors?
I don’t even know them.
21. What are you bad habits?
Fiddling with my hair and fingers, talking to myself, leaving dirty dishes in my room/sink, tapping my foot on the floor, drumming my fingers, biting at my nails, dozing off at random, giggling for no fucking reason in the middle of the conversation, procrastinating...
22. Where would you like to travel?
Either Scandinavia or Canada. Maybe Australia too.
23. Do you have trust issues?
I’m way too trusting, if anything. Does that count?
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
Coming back from dinner, laying down in my bed and checking YouTube/Tumblr/Facebook/Twitter/whatever.
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
All of it, but if I had to choose, I’d say belly =,=
26. What do you do when you wake up?
I used to check Tumblr notifications when my mobile was still working, now I just kind of... Lay there... Trying to get to my senses.
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
I’m perfectly comfortable with the tone of my skin, thank you very much.
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
My father and one of my childhood friends - the only one that hadn’t leave me behind (^^)/
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
I’ve never been in a relationship, and I don’t think that I ever will.
30. Do you ever want to get married?
Not really, no.
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
Ya bet!
(ps. Why is there an “if” in the beggining of the question?)
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
None =)
33. Spell your name with your chin.
WQjkkjtrlkrfdjkaZ - welp, close enough XD
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
Nope, sorry. I’m a lazy fatass wasting my whole life on the couch.
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV, easly. I’ve stopped watching it three years ago anyway.
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
Oh, if it was only once...
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
I try not to speak in those situations, but I often start blushing and giggling uncontrollably against my will.
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
They truly love me and want to be with me no matter what. This is pretty much my only requirement. For extra flavor, they might also be intelligent and patient with me.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Empik and other bookstores. ‘Cause we’re talking shopping, like, in the broad sense, right? Right?
40. What do you want to do after high school?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Of course!
42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?
Being extremely quiet is pretty much my natural state, but if you mean exeptionally quiet even for my standards, then it means that my anxiety and self loathing are probably stiking back. Or I’m just in a bad mood/overwhelmed and need a moment. One of the two.
43. Do you smile at strangers?
Sometimes, if they strike me as nice.
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
Outer space, it’s less claustrofobic. At least a little bit.
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
Elementary sense of duty. That’s when I have school. At the weekends and breaks it’s usually the grotesque and outright GROSS nightmares that I have when I sleep for too long. Seriously, some of them work better than a gallon of thick, black coffee mixed with RedBull and a bag of sugar. Ugh.
46. What are you paranoid about?
Failure, making a fool out of myself, being ridiculed and made fun of, being used, all of my friends leaving me behind and forgetting about me, future in general...
47. Have you ever been high?
No.
48. Have you ever been drunk?
No.
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
No, fortunately :D
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
I’m wearing one right now, and it’s... *sigh* ...pink. I freakin’ hate it, but it’s just so comfy...
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
Oh hell yes, time and time again...
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
E V E R Y T H I N G
53. Favourite makeup brand?
??? I don’t do makeup. Ever.
54. Favourite store?
Didn’t I answer this one already in point 39?
55. Favourite blog?
Piwnica Prezydenta Internetu (The President’s of the Internet Basement), Przyczajona Logika Ukryty Słownik (Crouching Logic Hidden Dictionary), Niezatapialna Armada Kolonasa Waazona (Kolonas Waazon’s Unsinkable Armada)
...But you don’t care about those, do you? No, of course not. You meant Tumblr blogs, didn’t you? Oh well. there are some good blogs on here too, like Sameshack, Skylordlysander, Maxa-postrophe, Zaby’s Mind and, of course, Adventures in Lurning.
(No I’m not going to tag any of this people I’m not crazy)
56. Favourite colour?
Still purple, still black.
57. Favourite food?
Four cheese pizza. I’m ready to kill and die for one at any time, anywhere.
58. Last thing you ate?
Haribo gummybears. Yummy~
59. First thing you ate this morning?
A homemade hot dog.
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
There was some sort of scientific contest in the elementary school? Something about nature and the enviorment, anyway. I’ve no idea how I did it, but I did.
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
Nnnnnope. I’m generally not a troublemaker.
62. Been arrested? For what?
Nnnnnope. I’m generally not a criminal.
63. Ever been in love?
Yeah, once. Although, when I look at it now, it seems more like a deep, intense, unhealthy fascination and obsession with a person rather than love... Poor guy.
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
There was none. The end.
65. Are you hungry right now?
I’m always hungry.
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
No way!
67. Facebook or Twitter?
Facebook, even tho it’s a total mess.
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
Tumblr. You see, it’s an easy choice because I’m addicted
69. Are you watching tv right now?
Nope.
70. Names of your best friends?
Wiktoria is my bestest friend since elementary uwu And yes, we have the same name. Funny, isn’t it?
71. Craving something? What?
Tumblr media
... Too far?
72. What colour are your towels?
Blue, yellow, pink, white and striped with a fuckton of others.
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Three, two big + one small.
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Not anymore.
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
In my room there are four - a bear, a duck, a snake and a Pikachu. I used to have a lot more tho. They are still in the attic.
75. Favourite animal?
Owl, especially Eurasian Eagle Owl <3 Idk man, they’re just so cool~
76. What colour is your underwear?
Cream
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
Vanilla. Chocolate is overrated.
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
Cheesecake and lemon <3
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
I’ve just changed, so now it’s red.
80. What colour pants?
Cream with blue and red patterns.
81. Favourite tv show?
Sherlock, South Park, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Free!, Steven Universe, My Little Pony.... Oh, what? WHAT?!
82. Favourite movie?
Monty Python And The Holy Grail - say what you want about it, but it’s one of the few comedies on which I’m laughing trough the entire thing every time I watch it and I absolutely love it <3
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
I’ve never watched any of those, sorry ^^’
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
Never watched 21 Jump Street either.
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
Why the hell are you so obsessed with Mean Girls?!
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
Gill was pretty cool, I guess.
87. First person you talked to today?
My mother.
88. Last person you talked to today?
My father. He made a margheritta candle for me from the leftover wax I hadn’t thrown out yet. No, really - the candle legitimately looks like a top of a marheritta pizza. Only it smells like orange, raspberry and vanilla...
89. Name a person you hate?
Every single person that was bullying me for the six years before I started high school. I know it’s petty, but I still hate every single one of those motherfuckers.
90. Name a person you love?
My parents, for starters.
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
The entire Mag publishing house for delaying Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret for another four months =,= It was supposed to be out almost half a year ago, dammit!
92. In a fight with someone?
No, fortunatelly. I hate fighting. (AndI’m not very good at it either XD)
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
Around 6, I believe.
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
9 or 10.
95. Last movie you watched?
Harry Potter and The Deadly Hollows, pt. 1 - I haven’t watched it all the way trough, however. At one point my parents has thrown me out of the room, because I was constantly comparing it to the original, explaining background and unintentionally spoiling later scenes XD Don’t watch adaptations of things that I like with me. Ever.
96. Favourite actress?
I don’t have one.
97. Favourite actor?
I don’t have one either ^^’
98. Do you tan a lot?
Not really. I just burn, usually.
99. Have any pets?
A lovely dog and a small pack of chickens, whih I consider to be pets too <3
100. How are you feeling?
Mostly relaxed, although kind of tense. Better than yesterday, at least.
101. Do you type fast?
Fast enough not to drive pepole that I text with insane.
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
*breaths in*
B O I
103. Can you spell well?
Well enough, but I still make stupid mistakes every now and then.
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
My cousins, best friend from childhood and one particular friend from elementary/middle school.
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
Yep, yep, yep!
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
Never!
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
Yeah, and I still remember some of the basics of riding it ^^
108. What should you be doing?
Getting pissed at Mofftiss while watching The Final Problem, but ehhh... I’m kinda scared ;^;
109. Is something irritating you right now?
My father flashing a flashlight right into my eyes trough my room’s window. He’s just an asshole like that.
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
Yeah, once or twice.
111. Writing or drawing?
I hardly do any of those anymore, but I’ve always felt more confident with writing.
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Oh my, uh... I think it would be my entire fucking polish group at school. This was probably the most embarassing thing that I did this school year...
113. What was your childhood nickname?
I didn’t really have any? ;^; Everyone was always calling my by my real name.
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
Yeah, pretty much every year since I was eight.
115. Do you play the Wii?
No, sadly ;^; I’d love to try it someday tho, I’ve heard that it had some good games.
116. Are you listening to music right now?
Yup, to the Ace Attorney series soundtrack. It never gets old.
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
A lot.
118. Do you like Chinese food?
I like the noodles, but I don’t think that I’ve ever tried anything else? I probably should...
119. Favourite book?
Gaaaah, so many to choose from! Uh, um... Jurassic Park? It’s nostalgic at least ;^;
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
A little bit, especially if I’m not at home.
121. Are you mean?
Way more that I would like to be.
122. Is cheating ever okay?
Nope.
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
Not to save my life X’D I have a peculiar talent to get dirty all the goddamn time.
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No way in hell. It’s weak, stupid, unrealistic, juvenile and lazy.
125. Do you believe in true love?
Absolutely. I’ll most likely never find it, but I know that there are people who did.
126. Are you currently bored?
And why do you think I’m answering those questions?
127. What makes you happy?
Peace and quiet at home, my friends giving me some of their precious time anywhere at any time.
128. Would you change your name?
Why would I? It’s not that bad. My surname is way worse.
129. What your zodiac sign?
Virgo
130. Do you like subway?
Never was in any. If you’re talking about the restaurant tho... Nnnnope, still wasn’t in any. Oh well.
131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Pretend that I don’t know and nothing has happened, while simultaneously screaming and absolutely panicking on the inside.
132. LGBTQ+ right supporter?
YES, DEFINITELY!
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
The crowd wears a dress of hypocrisy
Am I decieving?
Am I being decieved?
Does it even have any...
...impact on the future?
(Jekyll & Hyde - Hatsune Miku and IA)
134. Can you count to one million?
If I was really, really bored, then I think I could.
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
“Yes, mom, this year I’m going to work hard.”
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
Closed. I don’t want my dog to get in in the middle of the night and wake me up (and believe me, he does that).
137. How tall are you?
About 170 cm.
138. Curly or Straight hair?
Straight, it’s easier to take care of.
139. Brunette or Blonde?
Indifferent, but let’s say brunette.
140. Summer or Winter?
Summer! I don’t have to do anything!
141. Night or Day?
Night. I love to sleep.
142. Favourite month?
July - the holidays has just begun and I have the time for literally everything <3
143. Are you a vegetarian?
No, I love my meat way too much <3
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
White, even tho it technically isn’t even chocolate anymore.
145. Tea or Coffee?
Tea. I can drink it anytime I want without consequences.
146. Was today a good day?
It was okay.
147. Mars or Snickers?
Mars, I hate the nuts getting between my teeth =,=
148. What’s your favourite quote?
It varies, but in this very moment, I think that this one speaks to me the most:
Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.
~ H. P. Lovecraft
(Just try to guess what is my biggest problem right now)
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
No.
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it somewhere, what’s the first line
(Translating translation, sorry)
“Glory has leaped forward with bared teeth and catched the nearest spear.”
I still won’t tag anyone since I don’t want to get into people’s hair for no good reason
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twiggycute · 6 years
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Wus poppin 🅱️ (ANTI DDLG/ETC) by upsent-is-comin-to-fuk-ur-bich featuring blue jeans
Blue top / Topshop blue jeans, $83 / Red Wing leather booties / Backpack bag / Burt s Bees lip treatment / Tube TV Iron-On Patch Pastel Goth Indie Hipster Kawaii Rainbow youtube... / Haribo Peach Fruit Gummies, 5 oz (Pack of 12) Walmart.com / Pepsi Soda, 2-Liter Bottle (Pack of 6) / Fiesta Toys Lil' Buddies Bee Stuffed Animal Beanbag Toy 5 Inches / Funny Coffee Mug Male Tears / LED Fairy Jar Solar Lights, $9.69 / Mell Hell Store: Hologram Fake Septum - Kichink!
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