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forbidden-sin-bin · 7 months

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Sex and Filthy Smut headcanons

(Eminem x F!Reader Hc’s and drabbles)

Rated: E for explicit… no wait, this needs an X rating for possibly being the filthiest thing I’m gonna write in my life. God save my soul (probably not but hey at least I asked)

Warnings: I mean… look at the title. Need I say more??? Smut. Sex. Lovemaking, Intercourse. Whatever the hell you wanna call it. The whole 10 yards is here. It’s porn, not gonna lie at all.

Tags/Keywords: Smut, Heavy Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, fluff, fluff and smut, Pre-established relationship, Sexual Content, Kink, Overstimulation, Dom/Sub, BDSM, Dirty Talk, Praise Kink, Oral Sex, Giving/Receiving, Healthy Relationships, Feel Good, Everything sinful under the sun is found here, Author is going to hell, anyone who reads this is coming with me

A/N: Yes yes, ain’t no fuckbuddies or friends with benefits headcanons here, sue me. There is NO angst or sadness here. None, zero, zilch. Those kinds of relationships almost NEVER end well 98% of the time. This is all about you and him ONLY. Give it up for romance y’all.

Not gonna lie, there might've been more I wanted to add to this hellfire list of headcanons but once you've seen how much stuff there is below I hope you'll forgive me for finally putting this out here.

I hope by reading this, will provide you with comfort and satisfaction.

VERY special thanks to @smutty-books for beta reading and feedback along with helping me with this monster of a list! Please check them out and show them some love! (Seriously thank you Smutty for the additional ideas and content. you made this Hc's list a million times better and twice as much content included.)

(WARNING: Past this point is VERY EXPLICIT CONTENT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)

General HC's:

Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy ohhhhhh boy.

You want sum fuk? You got sum fuk and way more.

As long as you’re his s/o, congrats on your sex life being absolutely demolished and rebuilt by this man. You’ll probably never find a better person in the bedroom for the rest of your life. It literally doesn’t matter if he’s your boyfriend or your husband, sex is a staple activity in your relationship that you both enjoy.

Fast and rough? Slow and steady? Maybe a little bit of both? You bet he’ll be saying fuck yeah to all of those.

His sex drive has always been relatively quite high, even after all these years. Being 50 and counting ain’t gonna stop him anytime soon.

Can, and will, want to fuck you on any and every surface of the house.

Living room couch? Perfect spot for bouncing in his lap or to blow him hard.

Dining room table? He’ll have you either bent over and railing you from behind or sitting on top while he devours your dripping wet pussy.

Taking a shower? You’ll be saving water if you do it together… yeah. Definitely not because of at least a half dozen things you can do in there with soothing hot water pouring down your bodies.

In the studio?…

Okay maybe not the studio he’s gotta work without getting distracted and lord save you two if anyone finds a sliver of evidence that you two fucked in there-

Not a PDA guy much, which also extends to any sexual antics outside. He won’t be taking any risks getting the two of you caught lacking

As long as you two are in the house, it’s free game

His views and methods of sex vary depending on which era we’re talking about

If he were in his 1999’s/2000’s era, then yeah, absolute horndog. He’s constantly so busy and on the move, sex would be a quick trip and onto the next. It would’ve scratched the itch, but arguably wouldn’t have sated his appetite for long. If he ever had a chance to have a good, drawn out sex session, it’ll leave him looking like he had a serious hangover but he’ll be waking up so relaxed.

Him being quick to fuck around and quick to leave was his style pre-Relapse. It’s a common thing you see around music artists in general and he was no exception. That doesn’t mean he was closed off to finding an actual solid relationship, it just becomes that much harder to find someone genuine. Most of the time though, he was busy putting out albums and producing music with a 9 to 5 regimen.

Post-Relapse/Recovery Em had insane stamina due to the excessive amount of exercise he put in. Call me insane, but I have a feeling this may be the time where he had the least amount of sex drive-

NOW HOLD ON HEAR ME OUT

He was starting out his sobriety around this time, I’m no expert but I would have to think that he hasn’t fucked or hooked up with anyone since then cause sex may have been a risk or his body was recovering, therefore most likely putting sex as a low priority. That isn’t to say he wasn’t busting a nut oh no, he probably became best friends with his hands again.

The time between Rap God/Monster Era was slowly building back up his drive, transitioning him to the Revival/Present Day era where he’s back on his blue-balling bullshit. Mans been practically putting out mating calls in his music and in interviews I mean COME ON HAVE YOU SEEN IT

He’s wise enough to not be caught slipping with hoes cause he won’t be caught with those hoes. At all. He’s not a hoe fucker no more. You heard him.

Finding an actual healthy relationship with one person? Someone give it to him, now.

(Anyone who remembers that one shot in that Rainy Days behind the scenes video where he points the camera to his crotch and says “EVERYTHING is for sale.” If that isn’t a man in heat I dunno what is; And that’s just one example out of many lemme tell you)

THE POINT IS, HE CAN GO FOR ONE ROUND, OR MANY, MANY MORE.

He’s determined to make you feel good more than him, but he’ll absolutely be having fun with how you’re gonna come. He’ll love exploring your body, finding out every little spot that gives you shivers down your spine.

Oh yeah, did I mention that he's got a big dick? He's got a big dick.

Don't try to deny it when you can't help but glance at his crotch all the time. It might be bias, or it might be fact that you can see the bulge in his pants.

Dom/Sub Roles:

He’s a dom, no question about that. Most of the time he’s a soft dom, not overwhelmingly asserting himself over you but firm enough to have you listen to him. Of course, he’ll be praising you a ton if you’re doing good and listening. But if you’re acting a little bratty, a little petty… yeah, he’ll make you behave, let’s just leave it at that.

Enjoys having you bent over his knee while he fingers your pussy, making sure you’re all nice and ready for him to enjoy.

If you squirm too much, expect a light spanking and a firm reminder to behave.

Again, not over the top with his dominance, cause at the end of the day, he wants to take care of you, to make you feel comfortable and show you how much he loves you. So praising isn’t just a dom thing, it’s genuinely how he expresses his affection to you.

If you insist on it, he can go even harder as a dom, upping his antics and getting off on seeing you beg for relief. Punishments will be even meaner and if you slip up even just a little, looks like you’re gonna have to start all over. No amount of pleading, teary whines from you will get him to change the cold, hard look in his eyes as he’s watching you.

Absolutely insistent on a safe word, no matter the situation.

Marshall’s immediately shifting to a protective, nurturing caretaker the moment your safe word leaves your lips and making sure your needs are met, completely understanding and shushing any apologies that threaten to leave your mouth for ruining the moment. You come first and foremost.

Amazing with aftercare. Will make sure that you’re okay and well taken care of after a session, praising you lovingly as he holds you close. If it was particularly intense, he’ll be checking in on you for the next day or so whilst feeling quite proud of himself that he can reduce you to a begging, dripping mess yesterday night. But he's by far more proud of you for trusting him and letting him experience you in such a vulnerable position.

All it takes is for him to say: "Such a good girl" and you're all his. (Can't blame you honestly-)

He'll be using your petnames even outside of your passionate sessions, even if it's just coming home to greet you after a day of work or passing by each other in the house to do something, a quick: "Hey peaches" or "How's my babygirl?" never fails to want to leave you smiling shyly, even after a bad day.

While being a sub is not what he would usually do at all, it’s not impossible. Once he’s far into a relationship with you and fully comfortable, he might actually give in to your insistence.

He has a need to feel like he’s in control, like he’s leading; Being on the opposite end is a big deal for him, so if he ever subs it’s a huge fucking compliment and privilege that shows how much he trusts and loves you to bare himself to you.

He’ll definitely be grumbly about it tho, and probably trying to act all teasing at your attempt to dominate him. But once you get past that first phase and he lets himself relax and give into your control… he doesn’t want to admit it, but he feels so fucking secure with you.

When he fully gives in, he’s preening and leaning into your touch. He’ll be such a good boy under your lavish praise and having all of your attention on him.

It feels almost foreign, not being the one in charge and making all the decisions for once. But once he gets used to it, he'll be doing whatever he can to receive your approval.

Seeing him at your mercy, letting you take the reins, makes it your priority to see him come undone by your command, holy shit, it's fucking beautiful.

If he's up for being a little more bratty (not unlike he's been on his petty shit for decades as his core personality trait let's be real here) and expecting to be punished and/or your dominance be harsher, the thought of pushing you to your limits with how much you're willing to keep up with him makes him really, really excited on the inside.

It’s both of your secrets, so don’t fuck it up, a'ight?

Teasing/Body Parts:

Speaking of secrets… he’s incredibly private, but at the same time, don’t be surprised if he ends up writing lyrics that may or may not allude or be inspired by your sex lives. You swear this man will be the death of you, smug bastard.

If you’re ever turned on by listening to his music or his voice, it’ll be such a massive ego boost for him, holy shit. No need to feel embarrassed, cause he’s fucking flattered.

Even tho his residence is far from any neighbors (and definitely soundproof), he’s got a playlist for your ears to get aroused to.

Imagine Marshall whispering in your ear or talking in that low voice of his and well damn now you’re horny is an understatement of the goddamn century.

And it’s not just you! Marshall gets off hearing you moan like crazy, another sign that lets him know he’s doing a damn good job. Hearing you whimpering gets him going, but making you scream? Jackpot.

Unsurprisingly to a lot of y’all, but he loves tits. He loves ass for sure, but feeling your breasts is just- Yes.

Love fondling them, licking, biting, sucking, you name it.

Now do the same for him-

OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN’S PECS

MAN’S GOT HUGE FUCKING HONKERS. HOLY SHIT.

(No wonder he’s such a titty guy-)

But seriously, play with his chest and he’ll be moaning and writhing under you. Music to your ears.

Rest assured your ass will not be forgotten or neglected. No fucking way he’ll ever leave any part of you un-worshipped. Even when you’re just passing each other around the house he’ll playfully slap or squeeze your ass with a smirk. Cheeky fucker.

May or may not prompt him to just throw you down and pin you against whatever furniture is closest and have his way with you right then and there.

Or it could be the other way around! You can't help but give his sexy behind a mischievous swat or grab, or his pecs. He'll probably pretend to be miffed but you'll be catching him returning the smirk you have on your face. Oh, by all means, have your way with him right then and there as well. Equal rights, equal sexy times.

Grabbing your backside and pulling you closer to him, pressed against his chest and his growing bulge in his pants oh sweet Jesus-

Will for sure spank you while you’re riding him or he’s railing you from behind, the sounds of skin slapping against skin while he sees your ass jiggle with every thrust is just so fucking hot

He wants to reach deep down, as far as his cock can reach, nothing in the house is safe from him pounding your pussy and giving you a creampie.

Speaking of that, He LOVES to come into you or on you. It gives him a feeling of claiming what's his. Anytime he sees his cum dripping outta you or running down your skin, Marshall’s ready to go again.

Or he could use a sex toy, making sure his cum stays inside and your pussy ready for him in a few.

Kinks

We’ve already covered the dom/sub parts, but there is SO much potential for other kinks that you and him can get into so let’s get right into it

Breeding Kink:

I mean how can we not start this off without mentioning that

Can, and will ram you harder and faster than a piston AND make sure you both cum multiple times

If you’re walking the next morning, that means he failed the assignment so now he’s boutta rectify that

Dirty talk is cranked to a hundred as he’s growling in your ear on how much of a slut you are for his seed, how he’ll fill you up and make sure your womb is carrying his baby, how gorgeous you would look with your belly swollen with your little creation, etc.

Even if he’s sure that he doesn’t want anymore kids (given his age or experience, which is understandable), imagine the baby fever he gets when he sees or imagines you with kids

He’s perfectly happy with just you and him, but the possibility of you, him, and maybe a little one you made together from your love? His pupils are dilating like a cat getting ready to pounce

Even if the possibilities are extremely unlikely, the mere thought of it and he’s giving you the 🥺 eyes. (Every time you see him make those eyes at you, it’s probably cause he’s feelin the breeding urge)

If you're not able to, that doesn't change a thing; he wants to make you feel like you're his no matter what, and you are! He loves you for you.

Obsessed with coming inside you after railing you into the mattress, filling you to the brim with his seed

Loves giving you a creampie and then watching it leak out of your pussy, might take the initiative to stuff his spilling cum back into you

Or he could just fuck you at multiple different times during the day like the stud he is

Hell he may as well just not pull out and you’ll both be falling asleep still connected

You'll be waking up with his member engorged and slowly thrusting in you while he nuzzles into you, taking in your scent, kissing your lips so softly until you both cum. After that he takes you to the shower and you both wash each other

Loves marking your skin with his mouth, letting anyone know that your his and his only

Your cunt and everything else is thoroughly satisfied every time the breeding kink comes on don’t you worry about that honey

Size Kink:

Hey don't judge his 5'7 ass. Marshall's got other big things minus his height; Big hands, big ears, HUGE CO-

If you're smaller than him: He praises you for taking him in so well, whispers words of encouragement with every inch he pushes into you until you can feel his tip brushing against your cervix. Doesn't want to overdo it in fear of hurting you, but with your insistence he'll be going all out in due time

If you're taller than him: He LOVES it. No cap you being taller or bigger than him is so fucking sexy. Makes him more eager to make you come and more confidence in exploring different ways to do so

Takes a hand in yours and guides you both to press against your stomach, feeling for his cock thrusting into you

Praises you constantly as he feels your walls stretch around him so perfectly

Once you feel like you can take all of him, all of his restraint is gone as he pounds your sopping wet cunt relentlessly

Body worshipping is a must regardless of size

Feral/Primal Kink:

You know how possessive he can be, and that still translates to the bedroom. Even when he knows you're his, he can't help but feel turned on by his possessiveness for you.

And when you're all his, he can go fucking. Crazy.

It's also the dom feeling in him as well, but he has a need to claim you: Not out of insecurity, but out of his desire to make sure you know how much he loves you.

Likes biting your ear as an affectionate gesture. Sometimes he enjoys lightly tugging as a playful gesture to get you riled up.

Marshall thinks the growling thing is dumb as hell but if you're into that he'll try to give you some throaty growls in your ear, but expect him to start cracking up at his attempts until he's used to it

He thinks he can't do it yet he doesn't realize the low rumble in his throat whenever he gets a jealous streak

Voice/Audio Kink:

Well, well, WELL. Someone's ego is about to be stroked harder than his cock for once

He’ll absolutely be moaning and grunting more often when you guys have sex

Jokingly asks if you want to put some music on before you start fucking though he probably cringes listening to his own music during sex

Definitely ruins the mood for him when he hears someone that collabed with him on one of his songs or if any of his lyrics mention things that he doesn't want to think about when horny

Whenever he asks what you're listening to and hears one of his songs, he can't help but inwardly smile or smirk with pride. "Good choice." He nods, keeping his face unreadable.

If he catches you listening to FACK he just starts dying with laughter and dying on the inside simultaneously

No but seriously, he's super fucking flattered knowing how much his music or just his voice turns you on

Whispers in your ear during sex, either praising, teasing, or telling you what to do

He'll be observing which tone provokes the biggest reaction out of you so he can remember it for future reference

(People working with him in the studio are gonna be wondering why he's so close to the mic while recording recently)

Might record something just for your ears to listen to when you guys are apart ;)

Sex Positions

Missionary:

Ah, the OG.

Ranging from being the most vanilla to literally breaking the bed and making the house shake. Most people’s go-to position and Marshall is no different.

He’s got full access to your face, neck, and breasts while he pounds you into the mattress, absolutely loves it and it’s no surprise.

Is eye contact a kink? He’ll be wanting to look you in the eyes no matter the pace you’re going. Additionally may often include forehead touching and/or nose nuzzling. Incredibly hot and intimate.

If he’s feeling extra curious or dominant, he might even push your legs back and over his shoulders to reach even deeper into you. (In other words, putting you in a mating press.) You ain’t walking for a few days after this. Catch his freaky ass all smug n shit.

Slow and intimate in this position is SO fulfilling. It’s like baring your souls to one another.

Going fast and rough is just straight up a joyride and a half. It feels carnal in the best way possible.

Overall you can’t fuck this up really. It’s missionary for crying out loud.

Doggystyle:

*clears throat* Ahem. BARK BARK WOOF WOOF

If you haven’t seen my fic Heat yet, it’s basically me writing smut for the first time in this position but taken to the next level. Should hint at a lot on what imma bout to say tbh

YES. HELL YES. PLEASE LET HIM RAM INTO YOU FROM BEHIND. HE’LL BE POUNDING INTO YOU SO FUCKING HARD

If you go face down on the bed, ass up? Holy shit

Expect bruises on your hips the next morning… also a very horny man ready to go again or to absolutely worship the fuck outta you for taking it so fucking amazingly

He'll be running a bath for you, being extra doting and attentive, the whole nine yards while also feeing that masculine satisfaction™ at the fact that he's able to get you to that state of bliss.

By far the most feral position. If he’s got a breeding kink I wish you luck on how many times you’re gonna come and he’s gonna come

If you’re also into taking it in the ass I respect you 👀 kinky motherfucker would love to explore some new ways to fuck

Pronebone is also basically the same as mentioned above, but it’s got that intimate feel, you get me? He’s closer to you whilst also able to attack your neck and shoulders, maybe even have a hot make out session with you while he continues to pound your pussy or ass raw.

As long as you love taking it from behind he’ll be on his knees for you. And on top of you.

Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl, You On Top:

Ride him. That’s all I gotta say.

He wants you to ride him. Fuck him silly. He’ll lose it.

It’s a perfect demonstration of him still being the dom. You may be on top, but he’s the one in control.

Might tease you by making you work hard for a reaction outta him. He’ll be pretending to be unimpressed or smug while you bounce in his lap but in reality he’s trying so hard not to break

Either that, or he won’t be holding back on how good you make him feel. Mouth open, quietly moaning, grabbing your ass or your hips.

If he can't take it anymore, he pulls you down to him and holds you tight while he starts bucking his hips, pounding up into you like a piston

Even once you both come he starts back up again before you've even calmed down

Oral (Giving and Receiving)/69:

I mean… are we really gonna question it? Yeah you better give this guy some head he is a slut for it

Give him a blowjob and he’ll be the happiest man alive

You watching his expressions as you’re sucking him off

Might take some practice to take all of him into your mouth cause this man is BIG

Even when he’s got loose sweatpants on you can still see his bulge AND IT’S NOT WHEN HE’S HARD AND HORNY. MARSHALL’S PACKING.

I wish you luck in trying to deepthroat this man

When it comes to oral, he definitely prefers receiving rather than giving

But don’t you DARE underestimate this man’s tongue cause holy fucking hell he’s feasting on your pussy

PLEASE let him suck on your clit while he’s eating you out. That man’s mouth is amazing in many ways for a reason

Imagine having to go out after and if anyone asks him if he wants anything to eat he just replies: “Nah I’m good. I had something earlier.” And then GIVING YOU THE SIDE EYE LOOK-

BEARD. BURN.

Let this man bury his face in between your thighs and imagine the friction of his beard brushing against your skin. If that doesn’t make you cum then him lapping you up will guaranteed

69 turns into a competition to see who can get the other to cum first, or a comforting session of tasting each other

Standing:

Y'all know he can do it pinning you against a wall. Thanks 8 Mile

As hot as it is, take care as not to have your head or back bang against it

Great for quickies but probably not for a long time; You gotta give his back a break lmao

Hugging your waist from behind tho :eyes:

Add a mirror on both opposite ends of the wall and you can watch him thrust into you

He's holding you real tight and close, making sure to hold you up so your legs won't buckle

Spooning:

Feelin real cozy

It can be lazy morning sex; Intimate and gentle as he places kisses behind your ear and buries his face into your neck while he does long, deep strokes in and out of your walls

Or it can be rough: Holding your thigh up while his hips violently thrust into you, only stilling when he comes after you

Another way is his cock slipping between your thighs and humping you eagerly, or his cock rutting against your ass

Push your hips back in time with his thrusts for deeper penetration or the sound of your skin slapping against each other

His hands clutching your hips or grabbing your breasts as he moans in your ear, feeling his cock twitching with his release

- - -

ALRIGHT TIME TO STOP HERE I’VE BEEN KEEPING THIS IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS Anyways hope y’all enjoyed this and then some <3 I might come back to this and and more so who knows? If you enjoyed let me know your feedback and if you have any suggestions!

#eminem x reader #marshall mathers x reader #eminem imagines #eminem fanfiction #eminem imagine #eminem headcanons #eminem smut #marshall mathers fanfiction #marshall mathers x you #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers headcanons #marshall mathers smut

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ryncorrect · 6 months

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The Ssum 2 is actually... not that bad?

It has been 14-ish days since The Ssum: Love From Today (or The Ssum Season 2 if we must) was released. We were introduced to a new character named June, a blonde cutie pie that looks kinda sad (?) and fragile (?) and reminds me of Yoosung from the very first picture release. His voice and the way he talks even gives off Yoosung vibe even more. The spoiler stated, “He has ties to someone from Mystic Messenger,” and I was like, OKAY YOOSUNG????? Or perhaps a little far off, RIKA????? Then bam it’s actually—welp if you haven’t played it yet then I’ll let you find it out yourself lol

The revelation received mixed reaction from “wtf” to “WTF??” and I gotta admit I was one of them who was like,,,,, why,,,,, but it didn’t get to make me stop playing June route because:

- The writing in this season actually gets better

Teo route was boring af (spoiler alert?) boi kept doing part time jobs, we got two couple fights that didn’t even make sense, and somehow he ended up getting involved in a cult like ??????? I know they were trying to build a slow pacing relationship that lasted 200 days and added many “realistic” things but fam this aint it. And don’t get me started with the waiting time in between his chats, like 20+ minutes to wait for him climbing a hill, in a bed time chat? Nah fuk u man

Harry route.... god I hate don’t like it very much because 1) he doesn’t make it easy for me at all, 2) some of MC options in the chat are either gold-diggerish, or very jealous, or mean, or ignorant, and I don’t wanna be that kinda person

Don’t get me wrong, Teo and Harry are good characters and their designs are cool but the storytelling... is really all over the place

Since the writer from Cheritz’s previous games including Mysme is making a comeback in this season for June, playing his route now I can really see the difference. June started off falling in love instantly for MC and in only like 5 days I found out he has terminal disease. Nice. Tragic and angsty and very Mysme of you, June

BUT other than that, the conversation flows nicely, not too short and too long, the waiting time is reasonable, and I love how we get to talk about the planets thing in the chat; MC telling June to write in Gratitude Diary, June telling MC that he likes to read stuffs in Root of Desire, Piu-Piu advising us to look around the planets as we wait for June. It makes a huge difference for me. The whole meeting-a-fateful-stranger-in-some-random-app concept feels more realistic, and those planets are now part of the story and not just there to... exist. Though, it does make me wonder if June has this battery thing going on for him too, and if that’s why he doesn’t call us as often as Teo used to (but I’m still on day 10 and he’s currently trying to recover his health, so perhaps he probably just doesn’t get the energy and time to call us often lolol)

AND I KINDA LIKE PIU-PIU HERE. It feels... useful and friendly now. Piu-Piu in Teo route feels like a mean sassy bird and Piu-Piu in Harry route is just weird and likes to invade people’s privacy

- June having ties with Mysme character

Yes, this is also another reason I keep playing. Finding out that this new lovable character has a relationship with one of my favorite characters from one of my favorite games? I’m sold. I don’t care if this is just some way of Cheritz to get Mysme players into The Ssum. They have the right to do so—I mean it’s their game??? Some people are also saying that Cheritz should just release another contents for Mysme rather than doing this with The Ssum, and I think that’s valid. But Mysme has been running for years already, and keeping an otome game around for this long must be very hard. Releasing another content for Mysme means that Cheritz must gather their old writers, old artists, and old voice actors and perhaps they don’t have the resources to do so

Ofc this reason might not be true and Cherits just simply doesn’t want to work on Mysme anymore, and that’s their decision I’d like to respect

Also, if Teo and Harry made me miss Mysme because of their poor writing, June here actually makes me want to play Mysme again because he’s related to ***** and it’s fun being able to see ***** from different perspective

Moreover I’d rather be a gf of June who has half-brother (oops) from Mysme than being Zen’s ex. Wtf was that

And who knows? Maybe we will get another chara who’s related to V next????? Idk tho it might be too much of a stretch but I’m not gonna complain lol

- Cheritz is trying their very best

Them using AI art is wrong, and they have addressed that issue so I won’t repeat it here. I just wanna acknowledge their effort in making a game we would enjoy. They're pretty fast in handling and responding to our complaints, they still give us some battery freebies in the game so people who can't afford batteries or subscription can save them to play, and tbh you don't have to purchase every paid option in the chat too (I know I don't). Some players also share the paid pictures online, so you can decide to pay just for the pictures you wanna keep. We have a friendly and helpful community ;_;

The subscription price is still too much for many players and I myself can’t afford it every month because I have a family to feed, but I try to understand that in the end Cheritz is still an independent company that has to make profit. They have to pay rent, their employees, and people who work with them. I encourage people who can afford to keep supporting them, and those who can’t, I’m sure Cheritz appreciates our support and feedback just as much!

In conclusion, I just love them and I hope they keep up with the hard work

I want to say much more tbh but I’m kinda tired so now I’ll get back to work—while waiting for June for our lunch chat

#cheritz #thessum #mysme #the ssum #the ssum june #thessum_june_review #thessum june review #the ssum observatory lab june #p.s i love teo i really do

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myname-isalex · 1 year

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What type of music do they listen to

König, Ghost

A/N:First time making something, can you tell if this is good?. Also got the idea from @bumbookitten their very nice you should follow them!

Follow them!

I feel like he likes classy music

Like some that are good for dancing

Maybe careless whisper or heart to heart(that’s not classy)

I have a feeling that König is Mac demarco fan

And maybe he listen to Lana Dey Rey

Like one of her songs

(Playing Dangerous and pretty when you cry, and sad girl is my favorite!)

(Im going off my spotify playlist)

OHHHHHH OHHHH OHHHH OHHHH

Maybe he listens to ‘I love you so’ by the walters

It probably reminds him of when he was crushing on you hard

And he didn’t know if you like him back

(@corpsebridx just like us)

Cigarettes after sex?

Apocalypse or k or cry?

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH

I think König is a Cigarette after sex fan

(That’s cannon idc what anyone thinks, agree with me)

So maybe he likes Mac demarco? (No, I know he listen to them)

Cigarettes after sex, Mac demarco(?) Lana Dey Rey

I feel like Ghost like Corpsehusband

Maybe like ‘E-girls are tuning my life’ or ‘fuk u lol’

Idk

Maybe my chemical romance?

ORRRRRR Harry styles/Steve lacy?

I think Ghost likes ‘Dark red’ because it probably describes your guys relationship

Or maybe when he had a crush on you

(Currently listening to ‘You get me so high’ by the neighborhood I’m crying)

OHHHHHHHHH THAT REMINDS ME

He listen to the neighborhood

It’s either ‘You get me so high’ or ’Daddy issue’ (I try to type issue and what pop up was Isaacwhy??????)

I think Ghost like Arctic monkeys

Like maybe ‘505’ or ‘I wanna be yours’ ?

I can just ramble on and on about arctic monkeys

(More about Corpsehusband)

I know Ghost listen to ‘under the weather’ to much

Like any chance he gets

In the shower, In bed, when he sleeping

Corpsehusband, Harry styles(?), Steve lacy, Chemical romance, the neighborhood, Arctic monkeys,

(Its 17:07 pm for me, I’m going to sleep)

———————————————————————

myname-isalex work- pls don’t repost, copy, or claim as your own. Reblogs are appreciate!

#König x y/n #König x reader #Ghost x y/n #Ghost x reader #König cod #Ghost cod #Cod mw2 #Cod hc #Cod

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kdo16 · 2 months

Text

My Thoughts on KFP 4

WARNING: LOTS OF KFP 4 SPOILERS

and made a few edits

Like I said in my last post, it was okay, but it wasn’t amazing. Hell, when Dreamworks first announced there was gonna be a fourth kfp movie, my first thoughts were, “We really don’t need a fourth kfp movie. They ended Po’s story with the third one perfectly!” And boy did this movie kinda prove me right…

Don’t get me wrong, I liked the new characters and the new villain!! And my GOD AM I FALLING IN LOVE WITH ZHEN DUDE SHE IS SO FUCKING PRETTY 😭❤️😭❤️😭

AND PO’S TWO GAY DADS??? ABSOLUTELY PERFECT 😩👍😩👍😩

AND MOTHER FUCKING TAI LUNG RETURNING AFTER 13 YEARS???? I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE BIG KITTY TITS AGAIN JDHSJSJSKSJSJS

and y’all….the way I held in my scream when the Furious Five appeared at the ending 😭😭😭😭

There were some amazing pros to this movie!! But for the cons…

There were quite a few shots and dialogues that didn’t need to be in some scenes...like there was the part where Po had to choose the next Dragon Warrior, and he just pointed at…himself??? Like da fuk??? And right at the end where Shifu was being bothered by Po’s…like inner thoughts or something??? Like what was the point that???

And I kinda wish Po’s battle against the stingray lasted a bit longer. Some parts just went by a bit too quickly for me. And there was just a lot of second hand embarrassment scenes bro I was so weirded out 😭😭😭

I know this is just a kids movie, but these are just my opinions lmao

I had quite a few reasons for being disappointed with this film. My number one being about Tai Lung. Ngl I LOVED that he returned and had his redemption arc!! But I wished there were more scenes of him…and I was sad that he didn’t mention a THING about Shifu.

I know part of the movie was about Po finding a new Dragon Warrior although he shouldn’t be so soon because he’s still pretty young, but the one thing I would change in this film is to make Tai Lung the new Dragon Warrior. That way he can come back to the village and reunite with his father figure! And make him work on his redemption arc more!!

Overall, the movie was okay, I was pretty disappointed, and I’m kind of terrified about how kfp 5 will turn out (yeah it’s announced there will now be a kfp 5)…

6.5/10 I’m adding 6 instead of 5 because of my pretty gurl Zhen teehee

#kung fu panda #kung fu panda 4 #kfp #kfp 4

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hungry-n · 3 months

Note

Hiii, it's Idea-anon. Such a nice feeling to post here some ideas again hehe. Let's start with the usual: how's your day going? I'm glad that you like my ideas :3 !! Btw I'm here to introduce the idea of mine! Since I really like N and waiting him become hungry-feral in show, behold my lil headcanon-

✨️N's eating cravings/instinct✨️

Uzi: I think, N is being so..weird this time..he good? Or like he finally realized what's depression is? But I feel somethin' is.. comin'.. no good comin'..

J: *chewing ripped off some worker drone's arm, and then gulped it whole to answer back* Tbh I really don't care.

Uzi: bitc-

*A sudden scream is heard*

Uzi: !!..we gotta check up! Quick!

J: ...meh

Uzi: *points the somehow pulled out of N's stomach railgun*

J: Ok! Ok! Jeez...

*they sneak very quietly towards the source of the cry*

Uzi: ...N..? W-what-

J: Oh fuk..not now..

*N, with big X on screen, is swallowing a worker drone by a moment! He turns around, and is seen his big belly that growls and gurgles. Many of his preys are kicking to being let out. N pulled out his big yellow tongue with saliva on it. He looks so..hungry and full at the same time*

J: His hunger back.

Uzi: ..huh?..

J: Y'know he suck at hunt and useless and stuff- but- not to die from hunger, he has the strongest "Eating-hunting instinct.exe" program. I have one, V does..but N's more visible with his stupid and useless personality.

Uzi: ... *her eyes are rings (like this: 00), don't know what to do for the first time*

J: and y'know, we like..gotta run. Cuz during his last and first eating cravings he almost ate me and V-

After sh*t been happened, N was so sorry and apologized a lot to mentioned recently drones.

~Idea-anon

HAHAAA I LOVE THAT! 😭

and it would make sense… cuz n can’t be completely useless. So I could DEFINITELY see him being programmed with a more powerful predatory instinct, to word it that way…

And n the thought of n awkwardly apologising afterwards is so funny yet kinda cute… im giggling asjdjsjo 😭

Just kinda like…

"I’m very sorry 3:" but he just resembles a sad, sopping wet kitty so much that the worker drones would feel so guilty if they didn’t forgive him… even if they were a little wary and hesitant to do so. AND I IMAGINE J JUST STANDING THERE SUPERVISING AS WELL AND N JUST LOOKS AT HER, 1. FOR APPROVAL, AND 2. IN A WAY THATS LIKE "haha plz don’t hurt me"

Thanks again for sending an ask, idea-anon!!!!

#hungry-n #murder noms #tw vore #murder drones vore #tw vore mention #murder drones n #murder drones n vore #n vore #murder drones uzi #murder drones j #murder drones uzi vore #murder drones j vore

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laxmiree · 1 year

Text

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Undercurrent ASMR translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for an ASMR that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

youtube

Don’t forget to turn on CC~

Hold me tight

Let's get on the boat first

I'll help you take off the mask and the snorkel

Put the towel on

The wind is strong at the sea

Be careful to not catch a cold

How are you doing?

Are you feeling better now?

Do you still feel a little scared?

It's okay

It is easy to choke on the water when you try free diving for the first time

In terms of the performance just now

You've done a great job

Your ears,

feel uncomfortable?

Probably because the dive was relatively deep

Resulting in water pressure that’s too high

Let me rub them for you

Are you more comfortable now?

The look on your face already told me.

I'll tell you a secret

Actually

When I first learned to dive

I'm also a little afraid of the sea

It's true

I'm not lying to you

Although it may seem to you

that I'm already proficient

But I wasn't always this good at it

I can see the curiosity on MC’s face

You can listen to the story if you want

However

To relax your body completely

Let me give you a leg massage first

Perhaps it can relax your muscles a bit.

And more able to ease your current feeling

Is the force too strong?

Judging from MC's reaction of squinting her eyes in comfort

My massage technique

Seems to work pretty well?

Good

Tell a story?

Let's see

Where should I start?

I still remember

During my first dive

I thought I would see some strange underwater creatures

Or immerse myself in the beautiful underwater scenery

But that's not the case

As I went deeper and deeper

Before my eyes

Everything becomes cloudy

I can't see anything around me

Sounds

And everything in the outside world is so far away from me

I seem to be

Wrapped and submerged in a dull gray color

There is a tremendous sense of loneliness

Drowning me out

...I feel my own insignificance

And a

Unprecedented tranquility

I just imagined myself

as part of the bottom of the sea-

A single “swimming fish” that got lost and separated from its group

I close my eyes

To feel the sea around me

And with every current that I meet

Gradually

This sense of dread

Dissipated a lot

Wait a moment-

[fish noise+chuckle]

Looks like a little guy jumped on our boat

[Lucien throwing the fish back into the ocean]

It's a small fish.

I guess just like a certain curious little girl

It also wants to listen to the story

Continuing from where we left off

Then,

Can the Great Producer who has always had a rich imagination tell me

When we were at the bottom of the sea

Did you think of anything?

“A bulky sea turtle?”

[laughs]

I would say that

MC's posture is much more graceful than that of a sea turtle.

I’m not lying

When I was following you from behind just now

Watching your back

I was thinking

I wonder if you are the "mermaid"

who swam from the depths of the sea

You call that a beautiful word?

[kiss]

If my " beautiful words"

can make your face smile so happily all the time

Then it doesn't hurt if I say more

Want to try diving again?

Sure

But only if,

You say that you’re not afraid

Why do you look so sad?

Give me your hand

Before going into the water

You need to stretch a little more

[breathing noise]

Relax

Give me your body

Now put on the gear

Don't be nervous

Try to breathe deeply.

[breathing noise]

Like this

Do you remember?

The person next to you

In terms of diving,

he is also an experienced senior.

So, don't worry too much

No matter how deep you dive

I will always be with you.

#asmr but instead of spicy we get em angsty #still pretty sweet thoo #him talking about his fear so mc doesnt feel alone :"#mlqc lucien #mr love queen's choice #mlqc spoiler #mlqc cn #mlqc translation #mlqc #love and producer

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spadesolace · 7 months

Note

ALL TIME FAVE SONGS AND ADVENTURE SONG GO!?!?!?!@!!

fave artist and some songs i have on loop

pop, love countdown, no problem - nayeon

fuk u lol, agoraphobic, under the weather - corpse

better, baby blue love, rainbow, feel special, last waltz, rolling, heartshaker - twice

nobody like you, surf, boys like you, cheshire, freaky - itzy

circles, fml, kidult, bring it, bittersweet, light a flame - svt

falling behind, promise, best friend - laufey

memories, the exit, people watching - conan gray

favorite crime, all i want, lacy - olivia rodrigo

how you get the girl, back to december, the very first night - taylor swift

threading water, hair too long, sad song - the vamps

heartbreak girl, voodoo doll, not in the same way - 5sos

my mind and me, lose you to love me, back to you - selena gomez

AND A LOT MORE BUT THIS ARE THE ONES I CAN THINK OF ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD

ADVENTURE TIME SONGS AWIE

i’m just your problem

monster (king princess ver)

all gummed up inside

francis forever (its mitski i know but marceline sang it so)

everything stays

JUST EVERYTHING MARCELINE SANG ATP AND A FEW MORE I DONT REMEMBER THE TITLE

#tei talks a lot

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armin-supremacy · 2 years

Note

Hey bestieeeeeeeeeeee~

So this is Super self indulgent obviously, but I was curious about your thoughts on this. I was thinking that this should go on your blog, in case other people want/needed this comfort scenario.

How would the boys react when faced with MC coping with the death of one of their favorite actors? I feel super silly about this scenario, so I’m curious to see what you do. >:]

(I think the scenario should probably have a TW for death, since. Yeah, I’m basing this ask on That recent news.)

ahhh I've been waiting for you bestie! don't you dare feel silly no no none of that BUT YES LET US PROCEED

tw: death, this is made in response to a recent passing of a VA so please proceed with that in mind. please do not read if you are not comfortable with such events

pov: coping comfort

pairings: brothers (seperate) x gn!mc

format: headcannon

genre: comfort, healing

understands what you're going through

if you participated in his birthday event, you know

would probably get the latest release of your favorite show/book/game/etc associated with said actor and/or character

def with cut you some slack

lets you skip a day or two

or twelve

until you've started feeling better

won't let you away from him'

man just wants to make sure you're alright

WHO HURT HIS MC-!

tries his best to help and be there for you

he just wants to see his bby to smile again awe

will let you take all the time you need

won't let anyone disturb you if you don't want to be disturbed

won't force you, but will encourage you to go out

many many cuddles for you

honey he's sobbing with you

comfort cuddles 25/8 when he sees just how affected you are

scowers the world to get you signed/limited edition anything pertaining to your favorite characters the actor voiced

will binge watch/play/read anything and everything involving said actor/characters

stay hydrated pls

let this sweetie help you too he's trying his best

he's never seen you so sad ohmygod

be patient with him pls, he genuinely doesn't understand

we all know Satan has never been the best in terms of emotional understanding, more logical

"you have no direct ties to this actor, so why?" is his first thought

he tries he best for you though

will give his all to make sure you stay hydrated and eat

your own lil nurse

will def be there to listen to your sorrows on this situation

like Satan, Asmodeus is v tricky with this seeing as we've never seen really how he handles grief at least, not that i recall

also doesn't understand, but will try his best

by the heavens he's gonna keep you healthy and taken care of

makes sure to help you relax and take your time

#save mcs skin 2k22

more touch/intimate based comfort

won't push you to go out and socialize

one way or another this man will make sure you eat and stay hydrated

he won't force you to eat, but by god you can't deny those puppy eyes

v good listener to your sorrows

i see him as one to try and keep you distracted from the event

trying to keep your mind occupied

bear cuddles and hugs all around

such a sweetie

so worried about you

uses his powers to make sure you get sleep

will keep you company when you skip RAD to grieve

cant stand to let you go through any type of negative emotion alone

makes sure to give you happy dreams

def lets you take all the time you need

stuck by your side

fuk u mammon

~~~~~~

ahhh how did i do? ive never experienced something like this so i tried my hardest

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me mammon #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me headcanons

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bloodandbody · 2 years

Text

behind a cut bc no one wants to hear about my ass lmao

i’ve lost hella weight and while i’m super happy about it (ofc) MY RINGS ARE GETTING TOO BIG FOR MY FINGERS. IT MAKES ME SO SAD.

i mean yeehaw on not having sausage fingers but trying to find fingers to put my rings on has been daunting. i can get those ring tighteners or w/e they are but tbh i hate them. i hate they way they feel. like these rings arent worth resizing because they were relatively cheap (under $100) but i’ve been wearing two of them for over 5 years and i just bought a rly pretty onyx ring like one size smaller and NOPE. TOO BIG. i mean im so happy and ive made a lot of progress and i do feel a lot better but looking bad in clothes and having literally almost my entire wardrobe useless at this point is sort of a huge pain in the ass.

also, im at work right now at 10 fucking pm fixing equipment that blew up tonight. i also have to yeet over to a laundromat because my complexs dryer robbed me of $1 and didn’t dry my clothes

fuk this weekend also hi tumblr wtf is up if anyone is reading this lmfao

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hyperfixationsstation · 30 days

Note

I’m just catching up on news.

Fuk i feel so bad for midge…

I completely blame this on the coach. He saw how she went down the first time. Argh

She was probably trying so hard to make the Olympics squad

its so sad 😭 i hate this

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unknwnxquantity · 1 month

Text

What a privilege to type on my silly little screen. Have my silly little existential moments. Have my little spirals. Ponder on everything and everyone. While there’s ppl dying. No food no water no shelter. No peace! That’s so sad man. IMAGINE NOT HAVING A BED! No comfort! The worst possible things imaginable are happening at this very moment. At every moment. I always think to myself, “I wonder who in this exact moment is dying? Who’s having sex right now? Who’s experiencing the most life changing moment right now in this very moment?” I think like that too when I pass big apartments in the city or driving along the highways. I think I’m looking at hundreds of people in my peripheral vision that are blocked by the building walls. And then I wish I was like Superman and can see through the buildings to see what ppl are up to. What are people doing right now? Who’s living in their truth and who’s not? Whose heart is breaking? Are you fukking or are you making love? Do you love them, “love” them or are you thinking of someone else? How did you guys end up here together? Are you crying right now? Are you sleeping/napping? What are you dreaming about.. do you remember your dreams? Is it a life changing dream? Do you even pay attention to the hidden messages!! Or playing video games? What are you watching? What made you start watching that show/movie and how did it capture your attention? Why do you like it? What music are you listening to? Why are you listening to that particular song right at this moment? Did your friend put you onto it, is it a viral tiktok sound? Are you distracting yourself from the world around you? Are you missing an ex? Why do you miss them? Do you actually miss them or do you miss how they made you feel? Are you missing your mom? Your childhood friends? Are you missing the memories too?

The wars the killings. There are people that will never know peace and sanity a day in their life. CONSTANT living in fight or flight mode. Survival mode. High cortisol levels. How tragic is that? Yet we complain about our phones dying too fast, or our order being wrong. I hate thinking of all the disgusting and unspeakable ways of ppl (or animals which is even worse bc it’s usually bc of us) dying at this moment. Or worse, not dying and living with their incurable ailments. Imagine not being able to walk or breathe without assistance? Knock on wood man. I tell myself that the pain is temporary and they won’t feel it in their next life. That they’ll have a chance for a better life. Maybe they’ll return home. Maybe they’ll reach nirvana. Probably not, but who am I to say that? Maybe after their death here, their souls go to the spiritual infirmary (I forget which theory that is!!! Where souls go to this soul hospital almost omg I wish I could remember…. Okay I found it it’s in a book “journey of souls” by Dr newton), to recover from their deepest wounds. Wounds. I tell myself pain isn’t real for them (it is). Souls literally fight to come on earth!!! For that serious spiritual upgrade. It’s so hard to get on this earth. We don’t appreciate it. Now I wanna watch the soul Disney movie. I need to watch it again. (The irony of me being obsessed with h0llyw3ird and knowing the dark stuff/subliminals/programming from all our fav cartoons/shows/movies growing up… all the unspeakable things…. And yet my nostalgia is deeply rooted in them (like billions of others) talk about cognitive dissonance🤪)

#unknwnxquantity

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sunflwrhoe · 10 months

Text

holy FUK i’m so fucking sad dude. who knew it would hurt this much. i feel like such a pathetic pussy. all i’m doing is crying and i’m not sleeping or eating at all. this is the worst of the worst of the worst, this breakup might actually eat me alive.

0 notes

gibbingtonwibbington · 1 year

Text

Multiple story time:

Listening to your music made me super duper sad when I was sick cuz I couldn’t breathe and probably because I couldn’t sing along. I can mimic your voice probably the best out of any mimic singing I do. It’s just THAT WAY. I don’t know why, sometimes it’s kinda creepy. I’m not about to sing along in like…. Opera style. Unless you had some opera type music of course lol. Lyyyyyke, I wouldn’t sing like Frank Sinatra if I was singing along to a Britney Spears song ya kno. Hmm… that actually sounds like a super fuckn awesome combo though. 🧐 hm…

I was actually getting REALLY fuckin pissed after my natural, bored, monotone, robotic-sounding speaking voice came back. Yes I am aware that when I am bored, it is annoyingly obvious. Haha. BUT still, !GONE! was my loud and beloved shrill-squeak “Gibby voice”. The Gibby voice is just an adjustment of my ‘Courtney is really excited’ voice. Going further back, as I’ve said before (because I definitely repeat myself on here for the purpose of releasing repetitive, maddening energies)…the Gibby voice is originally a toned down derivative of *THE* Penny voice. However, not NEARLY as loud. Penny was VERY loud. Penny was definitely my loudest character voice EVER…and that’s pretty fuckin loud, man. I gta show you Penny. I can’t believe I haven’t taken a photo of her and shown you yet. Wow. My entire family, especially my aunt Nancy and my mom, STILL fkn talk about Penny and how gdamn loud she was. When I was a kid, doing my pretend Penny talking, they would say things like “Penny is quite loud for this time of night. I think Penny needs to go to bed.” Hahaha. I just drooled cranberry juice laughing. I got cranberry juice on my favorite white comforter!!! Nooo!!! Fuck, hold on a sec…

Okay I’m back. They also STILL use a bunch of funny quotes from things that I or Penny said in all seriousness, when I was just a kid. I’ll have to ask them which ones they remember and write them down. There are many..& they are more adult-sounding than something that came from the mouth of a five year old. I’ve always been crazy. Who cares.

They also still laugh about the time at Watercountry, when I started with some huge, fat-muscled, bald, biker dude w a Hell’s Angels tattoo. Started w him at the lazy river, over an inner tube that I was reaching for first. That dirty, dirty , kid piss-filled place. Ugh. Anyway, I mean, this guy SAW that I almost had it. Plus, I was super young and wanted to be with my cousin, not ALONE sitting in a huge fuckin tube that I could barely move in, in order to catch up w her. Like wtf dude. So I got pissed when he just grabbed it and didn’t give it to me. I even remember that this guy was fuckin by himself. Like ..DA FUK?! So I grabbed the tube out of his hands and gave him a “really dude?” kind of child mean mug. My mom said that he looked at her and my aunt like “Yo, your fucking kid has some nerve to do that to ME.” So they look at each other n then looked at him like “🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t know man, I didn’t do it…I didn’t birth her.” haha.

“I didn’t birth her, I just bought her.” Bahahaha. 😏 N I was candidly, off and relaxing in MYYY goddamn inner tube.

😎

Rewind for a second, I hate the spelling of the word squeak too.. remember my minor bitch fit over the word “tweak” not having two Es? Same animal here. Even Jillian Jigz HATED tweak not having two es and she’s a grammar tyrant. She even spelled it with two Es. Mostly because that word for us meant something on a whole other level, kind of making it a whole different word. I suck at spelling sometimes. Most words I have misspelled were either done on purpose… or I was braindead at the moment. My entire self likes to fly around in the atmosphere by myself sometimes. Oh yeah, or if I’m using speak type, it likes to use the wrong word entirely. The new download for my shit iPhone, my spell check and my speaky typey was absolutely at a disconnect with life…& my soul. It’s getting much better now. Definitely learning my way of talking muuuuuch better. If my speak type was a real human, it would have already hung itself from a rafter.

Speaking of my flying around in the atmosphere and day dreaming. Once at the end of the year, one of my teachers told us all to stand at the blackboard (yes it was actually still a blackboard) …actually it was a super vintage green board. Yup, chalk. I don’t know why it was green but that specific section of the school was complete with fantastically-rusted 60s hardware and appliances. So, standing in front of our decked out 60’s style accommodated classroom, this teacher went and sat at every person’s desk, mocking aka doing his best impression of each person in the class. IAs soon as I knew what his plan was I was thinking… oh no….😬. But when he got to me, he just sat there and stared out the window. I would always just sit there and stare out the window at the two huge maple trees that blew so pretty pretty in the wind. The school was on top of a huge hill, so they were always dancing. Wachusett was HUGE and now, it’s even bigger. Sometimes you couldn’t even get to class in time because five minutes wasn’t long enough to beat the traffic to your next class. This fucking math teacher that used to drool and spit and have fun with the sides of her mouth had menopause and would open the windows in winter. She was such a bitch about it and said if we didn’t bring a jacket then tough cookies we wouldn’t be able to go get it. Nobody was able to go get their jacket in between classes, it was impossible. She probably knew this and did it on purpose and said that on purpose because she was a fucking client I’ve been looking for her online for years to send her awful messages and I can’t find her ass. I’m not even joking. I already sent one of my math teachers messages about how much he’s basically a piece of shit. Everyone hated her. She drooled on one of my homework pieces one time and I circled it and I wrote Mrs. Tolis drooled on this” and purposely passed it in. This is the same teacher that grabbed Julian‘s homework off of my desk that I was making for her and crumbled it up and threw it in the trash because on the back of it I was drawing a picture of her being rabbit and drooling like a dog. I don’t know if she saw it or not but I hope she did. Before she could walk away I grabbed it back and then the whole classroom gasped and then she grabbed it back from me. It’s like bitch that’s someone’s homework.. TF?! She almost got fired one year cuz, funny enough Meredith, the nose flarer’s sister told us she taught the wrong material for a complete semester. Good times. They ripped outcthe best parts of the school and made it ugly and boring. There was this huge glass staircase at the front of the school. A shit load of people fell down that thing many times but who cares it was so cool. Now it’s gone the year after we graduated in 2003 they ripped out everything and redid the parts they ripped out. Now it looks stupid. my other favorite part of the school was the incredibly creepy gymnasium in the back. There were two gymnasiums in the front and then one down a really narrow creepy hallway which had other hallways that led to it that were never lit. The downstairs bathroom was creepy too.. because you had to use another long narrow creepy hallway that was never lit to get to it. Then there was a few really weird classrooms down in the basement where that lone bathroom was, that had tables and desks and chairs all toppled all over each other in it and they didn’t use either of them. They could’ve totally used that for so much stuff but for some odd reason they didn’t use it. I bet somebody got killed in there or something and they didn’t want to use it. So they kept throwing old broken shit on top of the last old broken shit that they threw in there. It looks like a wood bonfire except it was old metal chairs and desks. Shit’s probably haunted or something. Lol. It looked like a perfect place for a haunted, abandoned school horror movie or somethin. It was awesome. They bulldozed ALL of that away. That’s some despicable bs I tell you. We were the last year students to use it which was weird.

Even in middle school we had this really old hallway for the seventh and eighth grade wing. We were the last grade to use that old shit too, so they let us draw pictures and write all over it. Of course a ton of people just wrote a bunch of shit about other people and people got in trouble. My friend Joe had the most pink slips out of anybody in our grade & probably out of any grade that has ever been there. It was over 40 I think it was like 45 or something actually I’m gonna ask him because it might’ve even been in the 50s. At one point in time he didn’t give a shit and he purposely kept trying to get pink slips to see how many he could get by the end of 8th grade, the last year we were there. Eighth grade isn’t always the last year out of school. West Boylston school had the middle school wings connected to the high school wings..because it was so small. They never gave homework and it was the easiest shit ever it was like retard school. Anyway I love to change subjects it’s fine. Anyway, A lot of his pink slips were for really stupid shit. Like, talking. “Oh no! He spoke again! Send him down to the principal!”

There was this one time in 8th grade Spanish class when I said something funny outloud, I don’t remember what I said but he could not stop laughing and had to go in the hallway. Every time he came back in after he was done laughing, I would look at him and he would just start laughing n had to go back in the hallway. Fuckin Joe, good times man, gooooood, good fuckin times.

Speaking of that specific Spanish class…the teacher, Mrs. Scarcella, would always say “AAAAHORA!” aka “Noooow…” At LEAST ten times before moving on to the next subject during EVERY freaking class. She’d flare out her nostrils and would say it the exact same way every damn time, unnecessarily. So the one time when she actually had us do something remotely interesting for a project grade, Jigz & I got a bunch of the girls we could tolerate, together to do this Spanish skit. We had to make a fake weather report or some shit and do the whole thing in Spanish (obviously) and every person had to do something different, but it all had to be weather reports. Fuckin stupid idea, there’s only one weather report during the news. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We all thought it was stupid so we basically just used the skit for the purpose of mocking our obnoxious and bitchy teacher. So before everyone’s skit we all said “AAAAHORA!” . I already felt disgusting about how I looked at the time so I refused to flare my nostrils like the teacher. I’m laughing this is funny, but this girl Meredith flared her nostrils like I’ve never seen before in my life and I’m still fuckn happy about it.

Fuck I just erased a whole paragraph. Anyway…For my skit I chose to mock that new twister movie at the time. So I was on crutches and pretended I got hit by the cow that was flying through the air.. I was sitting in Jill’s basement on a very old push-up type of work out table. I don’t know what it’s fucking called but you know those tables that people lay down on and push the weights up and then it comes down on those little forks or whatever. I was sitting on one of those things with crutches and laughing my ass off because Jill was being insane behind the camera. It was all so frickin insane that I literally fucking pissed my pants cuz I was laughing that hard. I legit pissed myself at the end of my skit so I was hobbling out of the scene when I was done…to get away, because I basically pissed myself on camera. Oh my god. my cousin used to make me laugh so hard when I was a kid I always had to bring changes of underwear when I went over her house because it was just insane. But as I got older that happened much less, mostly because life sucked way more as it usually does when we get older. But yeah that time I absolutely pissed myself laughing and I couldn’t believe it which made me laugh even harder. So, we kept it…we kept it in the skit… because I didn’t wanna do it again. So there is a VHS tape somewhere where I am legit pissing my pants and fake hobbling away on crutches, while barely being able to breathe. Good times.

No, not done. Jillian chose rain. So I had a hose and I was trying to spray it up, putting my thumb over the hole to make it spray outwards, but it ended up spraying her directly in the face. She used liquid eyeliner at the time, so she had blackness just dripping everywhere down her face. The whole scene was of her outside in her driveway screaming “Está lloviendo!” over and over again. She couldn’t breathe either, due to me spraying her directly in the face. It was far away enough where it didn’t hurt her, but it was completely right in her face. We also kept that take, we didn’t redo that either.

Now, aka AAHORA! The most glorious part of the entire skit…the metronome. Jill had this antique metronome on top of her antique piano, that we set to a very slow tempo to put in a scene between every person’s skit. But it wasn’t just the metronome-meeheeeeee-we all were standing in a line, in the back of her living room table, while the metronome was in the forefront, slowly ticking away, as our heads and our pigtails bounced slowly from side to side matching the metronome lever. We did that EVERY time, in between every person’s skit. I believe there were seven of us. Jillian, myself, Melissa(cunt) Michelle (got pregnant at 15, has five kids and still is w the same guy. Fuckin BRAvO to her man. She gets some serious Courtney brownie points), Christina (cried at the roller rink because she couldn’t skate and we didn’t skate with her. But to be fair it was physically impossible for us to skate that slow)……and last but surely not least, wonderful Meredith, the professional nose flarer. So when we passed in the VHS tape, with the written version of it, we got it back with the grade and a comment which said “Very awkward.” We also watched ALL skits during class one day. We had a bunch of nutjobs in that class. I remember some kid Cody I was crushing on, in his skit he was pretending to be Yoda and had a big sweatshirt over his knees and was like walking around on his knees at Andrew (hotdogcunt’s) house. Nope, not done….The most awkward skit of all, wasn’t meant to be awkward. It was some really bizarre skit made by this other Andrew kid, just wrestling other boys in our grade and had the most obvious boner happening throughout the entire skit. The sweatpants he was always free-balled in made it ten times more obvious. I remember everyone was laughing at all the ridiculous skits until we got to his. Then, fuckin dead silence and looks around the room like…what-the-fuck Andrew#2?! Everybody was looking at everybody else however none of us could look him in the fucking face. some of us couldn’t look at him ever again, like myself for one. It’s like… “hmm, hey Andrew #2, Did you forget to uhmm.. proof-watch this shit before passing it in?” He was always a weird kid though. Not the fun or funny type of weird either. Just the corny yet pretentious loser type of weird. I will throw him a bone though (no pun intended) and will say, maybe he had a crush on the teacher and knew about it the whole time. Passing it in not knowing the whole class would ALSO be watching it. Really though, I have no idea, maybe he thought the teacher would be impressed with his boner and his wrestling skills. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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