#from my brain™

[thesunoficarus1]

loveless being in the back of the shot where isaac is explaining to james that he just cant like him like that is so special to me!!

#his entire arc this season holds a special place in my heart #isaac henderson #heartstopper #heartstopper season 2 #from my brain™

[wormdebut]

Nightmares

CW: nightmares, sleep paralysis, hurt/comfort

——

When Steve has nightmares, they’re loud. He wakes up thrashing, screaming and clawing to fight against veiny fuckers, and nasty demon bats. Often wakes up yelling thinking he’s still pulling hell creatures off his friends, chosen family. Dustin, Robin, Eddie.

Eddie had almost stayed down there. Steve had to carry his near-lifeless body out. But they had heard something, a whisper of a heartbeat.

It was enough.

Steve had refused to leave Eddie’s hospital room. He made sure Robin and Nancy were posted by Max’s. One of them would come back and report, let Steve know her heart was still beating. Steve had felt Eddie’s heart beat, as weak as was, and he needed to stay near him, to make sure it kept beating. He needed to make sure it kept getting stronger.

He still had his nightmares. Always does, always will. They were awful in that hospital room.

He and the girls hadn’t made it in time. No heartbeat. He and the girls hadn’t made it in time. Dustin was gone too. He and the girls hadn’t made it in time. There were too many bats, they get Robin and Nancy too.

Steve still wakes up screaming and clawing. Fighting. The nurses stopped coming in to check, eventually.

Eddie stayed asleep. Stuck in the coma. Steve stayed with Eddie. Eddie’s uncle—Wayne—doesn’t know. Can’t. Not yet.

Hopper had shown up. Like he had risen from the dead. Steve cried in his arms, in the silence of Eddie’s hospital room. The only sounds, beeping of machines and Steve’s broken sobs. Hopper saying “You did good, kid. Everyone’s safe.”

Everyone wasn’t safe. Max and Eddie were still sleeping.

Max wakes up. Eddie doesn’t. Steve still wakes up screaming and thrashing.

The doctors say it should be any day now.

The last time Steve wakes up, screaming in the stupid fucking hospital, Eddie’s awake.

Steve had basically thrown himself out of his chair, screaming at dead things that had fangs and claws, had woken up when he hit linoleum. He had shaken himself off, as he had done every time previous, flicked his eyes over to Eddies hospital bed, and was met with wide brown eyes.

“Oh my god, Eddie.”

The second time Steve cries in that stupid fucking room, draped over the end of a shitty hospital bed, Eddie and Steve keep that secret between them.

——

When Eddie has nightmares, they’re all consuming. He had told Steve once, it wasn’t the nightmares that scared him the most. It was waking up frozen in whatever room he had fallen asleep in. Locked in his own body.

Steve couldn’t process that. He can’t imagine not being able to fight. He isn’t sure he would ever wake up if he couldn’t thrash his way out of those dark spaces. He admires Eddie’s strength, his vulnerability.

Eddie had come home with Steve when they had released him from the hospital. He’d been confused, but Steve had insisted—had the extra room.

Eddie had been staying in the guest room, but that only lasted a week. He had kept coming to Steve when he woke up screaming. Comforting him. Eddie had told Steve that he had heard Steve thrashing and fighting, screaming that stupid hospital room from hell, long before he had opened his eyes.

“I figured I was still in that frozen place, the sleep paralysis, but I couldn’t open my eyes.” Eddie had told him, as he wiped at Steve’s wet cheeks. Steve had apologized, face red with embarrassment, and Eddie had told him to never apologize for feeling. It was the first night Eddie stayed with Steve.

Wayne knows now, knows his nephew is alive, breathing. He knows something happened that he can’t be fully privy to—he’d have to know basics since the shady fucking government shoves money at them like it was candy, put the Munsons in an apartment, cleared Eddie’s name. Wayne knows that those of them involved in ‘whatever it was’ cope better together. He doesn’t push Eddie to come to the apartment, he knows he at Steve’s.

Steve think Wayne knows about them—which it’s new to Steve and Eddie as it is, but Wayne definitely knows. Steve doesn’t think he disapproves though. He’s seen the soft smile Wayne’s had as he watched Steve run his hand through his nephews hair, watched them watch each other. Wayne is an observant man.

But he’s not a man of many words. He only ever tells Steve, “Thank you for saving our boy.”

——

They watch each other sleep.

When Steve falls asleep curled up in Eddie’s side, he feels strong arms tighten around him like a cocoon. Feels safe. It doesn’t stop the nightmares though. Doesn’t stop the screaming, but when he does tear himself away from certain death Eddie is right there.

“It’s okay, Stevie. It’s over, we won. It’s okay baby.” He whispers, pressing kisses into Steve’s hair. Steve cries. He’s always fucking crying now, but Eddie doesn’t care. He holds him through it, until he can breathe again.

Eddie has a habit of falling asleep on Steve’s chest. Told Steve he likes to hear his heart. It makes Steve blush like a fucking idiot, but that beside the point, he falls asleep listening to Steve’s heart and Steve falls just a little bit further in love with this man, every time.

Steve watches as Eddie sleeps. He feels it when Eddie’s limbs lock up, thinks this is part of the ‘freeze’. He listens to the whimpers Eddie lets out, feels powerless to it. Runs his fingers through hair and whispers that he’s here, he’s right here and Eddie’s safe. He does it every time, and watches as Eddie pulls himself out of the paralysis, watches as Eddie’s eyes snap open and he heaves in a deep watery breath, buries his head in Steve’s chest and cries. Steve just does holds him tighter, lets Eddie cry and lets Eddie find his steady breaths, again.

It gets a little easier. They actually start to fall asleep together, instead of letting the other rest. They still struggle through most nights, but they do it together. Kiss away each other’s tears and fears of what they went through.

When Steve has nightmares, they’re loud.

When Eddie has nightmares, they’re all consuming.

But they have each other, and they get through it, together, every time.

#steddie #worm brain #I— #i have really bad sleep paralysis and I was just thinking about how these two deal with the aftermath of #everything ™ #and well…here #my words? are they returning from war? #steddie fanfic #steddie ficlet #steven harrington #eddie munson

[aterfish]

"Dissect me ’til my blood runs down into the drain My bitter heart is pumping oil into my veins I’m nothing but a tin man, don’t feel any pain I don’t feel any pain, I don’t feel any pain"

#song is rusted from the rain by billy talent #it works SO WELL with dp #not me making animatic in my brain to this song #anyway. angst #dp #danny phantom #ater art #i drew this in 2h can you imagine #and it is 2 am cos im insane like that #haha anyway. go listen to this song and join me in having thoughts™

[lavenoon]

Gunmar the Black(light)

Because I cannot resist the purple, and what better way to make this guy more terrifying than making him glow with what kills (other) trolls?

Less glowy version below the cut:

#post let luce #tales of arcadia #trollhunters #gunmar #gunmar the black #eyestrain #my art #[organizational tags end. do not copy further. please do not copy “post let luce” or “my art”] #character with the moniker “the black” still glowing had to give me ideas yknow #making this guy make sense keeps me from going insane among the horrors™ #this is not about making sense tho this was magpie brain deciding to draw something beyond my skill level #i'm still not “back”/ ready to be super social on here again but im proud of this and wish to share

[cannibalhellhound]

I've got the Transmasc Mav zoomies and I cannot be stopped

Ice and Sli are looking (dis)respectfully from a distance

#That's how I wear my button ups and it's literally the best thing ever #also it's Goose's shirt because borrowing clothes is amazing #I will NOT be stopped from drawing trans Maverick thank you very much that guy is a mood and I'll be projecting as much as I want #Slider and Ice goobers crying in the distance #because Mav is handsome and amazing and confident #the only reason this doesn't have wings is because it'd be so great my brain would have glitched #trans pete maverick mitchell #pete maverick mitchell #maverick mitchell #slicemav #top gun fanart #tg #tg fanart #tgm #Air Gays™ #HelloI'mHayden #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun 1986 #tom iceman kazansky #ron slider kerner #trans artist #trans artwork #✌🏼

[andy-clutterbuck]

5x11 | The Distance

#richard you're just standing up please stop #Rick Grimes #* #rg #S5 #are you even alive if Feral Wildman Rick didn't speak to some nasty part of your brain #The Brown Tshirt™™™ #imagine rick controlling his cowboy daddy energy #sounds fake #don't flash your lower back at me you tart #i will not beg for dick i will ask nicely one more time #you know those sticky hands toys from the store quarter machines? #that'd be my existence #ya ever want to worship someone's torso #sounds a bit hannibal lectery #but still....

[daysofnights]

smth smth sirius fucking james when he comes home after a night with a girl

#corvus thoughts™ #i thought of this in my sleep #like genuinely had the thought and in my sleep was like #i should send this as an ask to ____ #i will not be saying who lmao #weird fucking dreams these days #i dont even like prongsfoot that much #which makes it weirder #like im indifferent to it #i get its appeal #but i dont get the like brain happy from it #prongsfoot #james potter #sirius black #prongsfoot is the ship name right #have i made that up #marauders

[soaked-ghost]

designs and comparisons + a bunch of off model dreams ^_^

#these are the only sanses u'll ever see from me btw lol srry #maybe there will be exemptions but rn I only care about these three goobers #kinda silly that my brain decided to fixate on three characters that are the exact same person because- #-i have the biggest ick when it comes to same face syndrome at least in my art #so I stylized them to hell so that i don't lose it when I look at my art #u can see that dream is rounder softer and bigger. ink is smaller and slightly pointier. and nightmare is long bulbous and ugly #also that ink side view is only here to show off the belly™ #idk but imo no sans should ever be skinny at least not how I see them commonly drawn #sans au #ink sans #dream sans #nightmare sans #art #myart

[arolesbianism]

I am once again being haunted by "a paradox" holy fuck Olivia what the fuck is going on here what did you get yourself involved with and what did you do after it speak to me Olivia I can't keep living like this

#rat rambles #oni posting #the second half fills you with the horrors so you forget that the log opened up with that b111-1 bomb #for the record a paradox is one of my favorite lore logs of all of them because its the log that made me go Oh Shit and go reread all the #olivia logs I initially only skimmed through and begun the olivia brain takeover #the second part rewired my brain irreversably like its so fucked I love it #in particular one thing that makes me so fucking glad that the old olivia jackie logs were scrapped is that originally jackie was the one #who printing pod ified olivia to save her from the end of the world or smth #but the change to make it self inflicted? fucking amazing ten million times better and more interesting #especially because it implies she did it on purpose! #which opens up so many doors and I fucking Love it #because the teleportation technology was what she knew of as a method of doing this but either A shed have to have kept using teleporters #anyways and either just count on her not dying or counting On her dying #or shed have to know the link between it and the neural vaculators #which is very possible considering Stuff™ but does raise the question of how she used it #now the boring answer is that her brain map was already taken from the neural vaculator tests but god. that answer is boring. #the most interesting possibility to me personally is that she could have well. tinkered a bit with existing technology. #unlikely? maybe. fun to explore for my purposes? yep. #also I need the peace of knowing that jackie never got the satisfaction of knowing what happened with olivia's dissapearance #or if she did only after the fact #I need this to have been completely out of jackie's viewpoint at the top and I need it to fuck with her and shatter her worldview #I need to see the desperation and paranoia of a woman who is realizing that she has lost control over her technology #I need to see her try to cling onto her past ambitions and sense of control while falling apart at the seams #and I need olivia to have never thought jackie would give a shit until all else but her is dead and gone #do you see my vision do you see it do you see how much more fun it is if it was extremely deliberate instead of only lightly so

[papa-evershed]

RJC + Hairstyles || requested by: anonymous ;)

#robert james-collier #rob james-collier #robert james collier #rob james collier #mine #requests #okay listen i plan to do a part 2 of different character hairstyles too #because my brain doesn't like mixing interviews with roles 😂 #the interviews that feature the floppy hair of his youth make for poor gifs so think i'll do more of that hair in pt 2 with roles #that emo hair is...A Look™ #i'm aware some of these are really the same hairstyle just different lengths but i'm counting it #still want HQ footage of the cut from the most recent act on this #ain't gonna happen but i can dream

[cloud-ya]

the concept of infodumping is so... alien(?) to me. I cannot bring myself to talk about something for a long time, let alone getting into details because I usually forget or don't know them. even less well do I feel when I try to rumble about something with no feedback in form of attention or understanding. I can go on about that one polish rapper or whatever concept is only known to me among the people I know and talk to, but what of it when the only thing I get is silence, a casual "cool" thrown to acknowledge my messages or a change of topic. I wonder if it's something about adults never understanding things I like and me being awful at explaining, thus preferring to just hide them or brush them off as "nothing particular" or describing them as vaguely as possible (e.g. "just a video game"); also in fear of being perceived or judged

what is the opposite of infodumping?

#feeling like my brain is definitely Not Normal™ #and seeing stuff like 'ooo i could infodump about my fixations so much you would regret asking me about them lol' and like. that is not me #that cannot be me #in the end i know nothing about my special interests and cannot describe them #its just. i saw that one post with screenshot from reddit that goes something like #'people holding you hostage will let you live if you talk about something for 30 minutes' #i kept thinking about it #my dude i would probably just expect death or ask if i can pick like 3 things because no way in hell would i talk about something for #half an hour. or even quarter #i can laugh along with everyone that id throw you down a rabbit hole but honestly in my case i doubt people would even check its entrance #cloud has spoken #vent #<- ?

[thesunoficarus1]

may I present, my top four favourite animals

#look at the sweet boys! #theyre so cute ohmygod #animals #favourites #mecore #personal #zoology #banana bread slugs #anteaters #manatees #corvids #ravens #yes i know this isnt my normal fandom stuff well go back to regularly scheduled programming after this #from my brain™

[musical-chick-13]

*sigh* While this wouldn't be the RAREST pair I've written for, it would certainly be close.

#trying and (probably) failing to restrain myself from giving in and doing a (genuinely small) prompt for this fan event but like. #would it even be worth the effort I'd have to put into it. The Chronic Illness™ is making everything SO hard & I feel like even 1000 words #would be a herculean task. and I wouldn't even get the dopamine hit that comes with people reading it :( #like genuinely I Do Not Care how much the things I create get interaction but this is. the circumstances are a little bit different in #terms of 'what will I get out of this & is it worth everything I'd have to do to finish it' because that. unfortunately. is where I'm at rn #then again. maybe a hard deadline would activate whatever centers of my brain to the point where I could actually DO something #IDK!!!!

[appalachianapologies]

If you were to (theoretically) read a (theoretical) fic about Patricia Thornton, (in theory) would you prefer her name to be (theoretically) spelled "Patti," "Pati," or "Patty"? (all in theory of course, just a completely random poll that has nothing to do with my current wip)

#this ''theoretical'' fic is now 9.5k words long (i dont want to talk about how that happened) and before i post it i want to know #what the majority of MacGyver readers would prefer her name as #its ''patty'' rn because thats how i think of her in the old Brain™ but its easy to search and find and fix #also it's not like seconds away from being posted #we still have a long way to go #fixing the thornton plotline one 20k oneshot at a time... #macgyver #in which vi thinks about writing #macgyver 2016 #patricia thornton #fun fact for the first two years i wrote MacGyver i thought her last name was ''thorton'' not ''thornton'' so if you look at my old fics #you can pretend that's an easter egg lmao

[steakout-05]

drew some ponays yesterday :)

#barry steakfries #jetpack joyride #pinkie pie #my little pony #sorry if barry horse looks a little off i haven't drawn him in a hot minute #headcanon: Barry would be an earth pony cause he's a little too dim-witted to be a unicorn but he wouldn't be a pegasus because he found #a jetpack and can just use that to fly around now. he thinks it's cooler than a pair of wings anyway #and thinks everypony gets super jealous :D #Craig would be a unicorn because y'know.... he's kinda like book horse and he's a Certified Egghead™ #his cutie mark would probably have something to do with invention or creativity #since some people theorise he's the scientist from Robot Bird and he keeps giving Brains ideas on how to make his guardbots better in JJ2 #Brains would also be a unicorn #but probably created a potion or found a spell or made a mechanical pair of wings to make him into a (technical) alicorn #because y'know he wants power and is a mad scientist dude #his cutie mark would probably be something magic-mechanical related #since in Equestria the AOZ portals would be a type of magic and whatnot #so it'd make sense that his CM is slightly more magic related than Barry and Craig's #why am i just rambling about horses in the tags what the hay #also Pinkie and Barry would probably be the best of friends along with Rainbow Dash :) #Craig would hang out with Twilight and Fluttershy cause they're relatable to him #and Brains would probably join a league of mlp villains or something i dunno #you know that episode '28 Pranks Later'? yeah Brains would do that but with real zombies #anyway uhh.... horse boyfriends :)

[andy-clutterbuck]

5x11 | The Distance

#RICHARD #Rick Grimes #* #rg #S5 #excuse me but The Nose™ #hello welcome to the tour #on your left you will see a bear #are you even alive if Feral Wildman Rick didn't speak to some nasty part of your brain #'it ain't all of it but that's me' #build me a fire #chop down a tree #bathe in a river #carry me back to your cave and [redacted] inside me #Rick Grimes speaking to the primal cavewoman part of my brain #what else is new #will willingly get slivers from that barn door #look at his neck fuzzies illuminated in the light #he's more grease and grime and hair than man #leave greasy hand prints on me instead of the wall #fictional man: *murderous intentions* me: he's playing my song #me @ me: get back demon #tell everyone you saw me with the devil