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maehemthemisfit · 1 year

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MUTUALS

This is a LOT and probably half of it doesn't make any sense and looks like gibberish but yk what thats fine. Sorry I couldn't fit everyone!

@clovers-garden-co - my first ever moot, my one and only, bae, love of my life, my beloved, and the person who helped me make this blog so BIG SHOUT OUT to them!! ALSO CHECK OUT THEY'RE BLOG THEY DESERVE SO MUCH LOVE 💕💖💘

@fitzkn - my dawg, my guy, my fam, he's canonically a cat and part of the menace society. If you ever see me rb a convo with him, 9 times outta 10 it's gonna be something... idek how to explain it but you might laugh, you might cry, you might log out and rethink your life on this app. Conversations can range from genshin to a lawn mower don't ask me cause I have no words. He's also a talented writer an artists but will never admit it. If you're a fan of angst and genshin, I recommend digging through his blog and finding a fic called butter knife... I was in tears. HIS OTHER WORKS ARE CHEF KISS TOO MWAH

@some-stale-bread - we don't interact much but they're one of the OGs who welcomed me when I first started my blog. They're really cool and they're a good artist so check them out some time!

@senjusonlygirlfriend - we go way back, though we didn't interact much in those early moments. They're an amazing writer and friend and I love chatting with them <33

@path-of-yaksha - we also been moots for a while but I got hella confused bc you changed your url. They're a pretty chill system even though we don't interact much

@y-umiko - fell in love with their blog aesthetic <3 wish we interacted more. They like genshin and TR so it's a yes for me

@mansplain-manipulate-malewife - I don't know how this happened, but it did and I don't regret it. I feel like im falling through portals from rick and morty whenever I open their blog. It's a nice change of scenery. Hii Alex, hope you're doing well

@official-megumin - The best wizard in tumblr so powerful I had to follow. IDK WHAT CHECKMARKS MEAN AND WHY IS THERE MORE THAN ONE??? EXPLAIN??? She's cool, though I rarely see them when im active

@oddshroom - MY GURL, MY G, MY SHROOM- MUSHROOM? HAMVKTIRLOE. ANOTHER ONE PART OF MENACE SOCIETY. They're an awesome person, really sweet, amazing writer, we also speak in code 🦞 but you'll never know what we're saying. They gang fr doe 💅🏾✨

@dorothy-rainbird - WE DONT INTERACT ANYMORE *sobs* or have we ever? I see you in my notifs a lot though so you're part of the misfit gang. RESPECTT. Wish I seen you on my dash more tho :')

@vellichxrr6782 - HUGGING YOU HUGGING YOU HUGGING YOU. You're really sweet and I wish we talked more <33 I wish you the best my friend

@cross-crye - ANOTHER AMAZING WRITER HELLO??? They bouta put me on twst fr im this 🤏🏾close into falling down the simp rabbit hole. HELLO SETH I ALSO WISH U THE BEST

@omori-1 - daily reminder that I need to finish watching omori... I PROMISE I WILL AJUFKRI. VIRGO GANG. TALENTED CREATOR GANG. IF I COULD EAT THEIR BLOG I WOULD. Put it inna air fryer and drizzle some sauce on afterwards yum. Another one part of menace society. LOVE YA CHAI, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND THEN SOME

@xiao6ao - My love. My life. My will to write. MY LOVELY EDITOR. MWAH MWAH I LOVE YOU. She's my life support for real and also deserves the world and good fortune and just Nbhvgtdikmk This world shall know pain if anything happens to her. AMAZING WRITER YET ANOTHER ONE WHO DOESNT ADMIT IT. Grammarly 2.0. Always come in clutch. Menace society CEO. AHH I LOVE YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE

@atskas - MY FAM. TALENTED AUTHORS ALERT. TIMEZONES SUCK FR BUT I STILL LOVE THEM. Another one locked in, in the menace society, rip their sleep schedule. HI ARII ILY- HIARIILY... That actually looked like one word- GIRL I WISH YOU THE BEST MWAH

@lunartcmpest - it's always the aesthetic blogs that melts my heart. TALENT WRITER ALERT BEEP BEEP BEEP. GO CHECK OUT THEIR BLOG RN OR IM SNATCHING YOUR ANKLES. Wish we interacted more but it's all good. She's pretty cool tho. SHOUT OUTS TO YOU KAIRI, WISH YOU WELL

@alhara - AUTOCORRECT BE DAMNED. HELLO HARA. SHOUT OUT TO ANOTHER UNDERRATTED WRITER. Wish you the best

@albed0kreideprinz - They haven't been active in a min and I hope they're okay, but here's an amazing rp blog for all those interested. They're amazing and really sweet and I hope the world treats them well <3

@araranas - aka @primojade aka TALENETED WRITER aka AMAZING PERSON aka MNJNJENKI I LOVE YOU. TIMEZONES BE DAMNED

@ventisweetheart - IF ONLY I COULD HUG SOMEONE THRU THE INTERNET! You're so sweet and I'm glad we're moots and I always look forward to our interactions

@micheya - I dont know why and dont ask me, but if I could squish you like a gummy bear I would... IT MIGHT BE THE AETHER PFP IDK. We don't interact much but <333

@1eaf-me-alone - This year, I think you should turn a new 1eaf... g-get it BECAUSE MUYGITKR,ICRLT. Forgive me, I had to. PFF S,MUTFR THEY'RE REALLY COOL CHECK THEM OUT. HI HELLO HRU. I love our interactions please dont block me for my Cyno jokes, I'll 1eaf you alone if you- AUMSUFKRDE IM SORRY I CANT HELP IT!!

@scaranya - the fact that I had to basically type your full name out because scaranation is so big on tumblr... N E WAYS, RECENT MOOT HERE. Love to see your comments <3 Please stay safe and well!

@qingxin-dream - ENVIOUS OF YOUR WANDERER KEYCHAIN GRRR GRRR SUNYUFKRIKRCF. Another great writer here, please check them out!

@sweet-almonds - COMFORT WRITER BC ANGST BREAKS MY HEART. SHE'S AWESOME AND SWEET AND I ADORE YOUR BLOG

@enassbraid - Yall with these url changes. I HAVE BAD MEMORY OKAY! She's lovely okay and deserves the moon and back

@wanderersbell - WWEEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO TALENT WRITER ALERT, YES OFFICER? RIGHT THERE -> YOU'RE LITERALLY SO AMAZING AND FUN TO TALK WITH IM SO GLAD WE CROSSED PATHS EEEE PLEASE I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING EVERYDAY I WISH U THE BEST

I KNOW IM MISSING A FEW AND IF I CAN I'LL ADD THEM LATER BUT MY HANDS ARE GETTING TIRED AND SORRY IF SOME OF THE THINGS IVE SAID WAS REPETTITIVE I TRIED MY BEST

@cynotical - RECENTLY BECAME MOOTS BUT IVE BEEN A FAN FOR AWHILE ✨✨✨ Another talented writer please check them out as well as their other blog!!! THEY'RE AWESOME AND SUCH A LOVELY PERSON TOO

@sonder-paradise - idk how but their writing manages to break me down and put me back together again every time like— UGHHH I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. Talent writer alert x20. Should have 2 novels and an ongoing series already because wth

#moots 💖#mutuals <3 #mutual list #lovely moots 💕

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acreaturecalledgreed · 2 years

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@sweatandwoe

wheezes softly okay so monstery silco au thoughts

idk if i have a name for this au or not yet but i have a lot of loose scrambled ideas and Vibes and various atmospheric scenes floating in my head

ive no idea if any of this is quality and all i know about league lore is what i can glean from wikis and one very enthustiastic infodumping friend

i also just, really like subtle monster shit. this person is a monster but oh, they could so easily be human.

ahhh this is all just very. slapped togethor thoughts its not super coherent apologies

so bare with me

im rly fascinated with tahm kench and i know im not the only one and i see a Lot of ppl who like to associate him with silco in some way- wether silco worships him, made a deal with him, whatever, a lot ppl seem to like playing with the idea and theyre valid

to my understanding tahm kench isnt exactly limited in what he can appear as- of course theres the squat and charming catfishalligator man in his jaunty little hat but to my understanding he can take on other appareances? idk i recall reading this but i cant recall where to save my life so like for the sake of this au we’ll just assume he Can appear human if he wants to

we also know like nothing about silco’s childhood etc so im playing fast and loose

im never sure if im of the opinion that silco had shit parents or parents who tried their best but honestly its likely a little of column a a little of column b and im rambling too much and need to get to the point

in the context of this au sil’s mom had a mysterious but charming paramour who often made her promises of wealth and good fortune and one day he just sort of vanished from her life but not without leaving her pregnant

she successfully passed off the baby as her husband's by the sheer fortune that said baby seemed to resemble her and not her paramour in the least

paramour was, obvs a this point, tahm kench

my reasoning why for he did this in the first place is mostly that hes just fucking around for shiggles- theres other reasons but im a bit scatterbrained at the moment and words to explain are not coming to me so great

silco is largely the same as he is in canon- he’s not visibly inhuman in any way, and he doesnt act much different at all. though, i suppose, in the right light, teeth can look unnaturally sharp, eyes too solidly dark like nothing human should have, etc

but he’s prone to disassociative states and cravings for Meat ideally Very Fresh and Possibly Alive Meat and they’re worse when he’s in compromised emotional or physical states

his father left/died/whatever early on leaving him largely in the care of just his mother and while she did her best rumors inevitably spread of her weirdass half feral kid, his ill temper, his strange disposition, and the massive amount of meat he seems to require

stories that he was slowly eating her out of house and home

stories that he wouldnt stop even if the only flesh she had to provide was her own

eventually, she too was gone

i dont think sil actually hurt her or attacked her in any way, but one day it was just silco, alone, with no one else, and the rumor mill churns and youve got stories about some scrawny monster that killed and ate his own mother

he and vander do end up friends as in canon, i dont doubt b/c vander took pity on this weird guy with a bad, bad reputation but a relatively skittish (if bitey, hah) personality

like i said a lot of this au is just sort of various scenes playing out in my head- sil ends up attacking people occasionally and its a bloody fucking mess every time

hes a conniving, sneaky little schemer and any outright deals anyone makes with him always seem to fall in his favour

he has his skills, and he’s useful, and in his own way he’s a loving and devoted friend

he is still the deeply driven revolutionary we have in canon- he loves his home and his people but he’s harsh and not afraid to spill blood

the drowning incident occurs more or less the same but vander comes out of it with a lot more than just his arm wound- silco bites, and as it turns out under life or death circumstances he can be a lot less human than he’s always seemed

i dont think he knows he’s tahm kench’s offspring until the drowning incident, having some kind of “conversation” hallucination with the river king while under and learning of his parentage

ironically the shimmer he takes for his eye is a blessing- shimmer works as an appetite suppressant and as he gets older there are way, way less incidents

jinx knows her dad is weird and so does everyone working under him but for the most part its not a problem, yes the boss is fucking scary they all know this its nothing new

i think shit gets Real odd tho post-death

im not sure silco can be properly killed, not in a way that sticks right

his body gets dumped in the river and that should be the end of it, but i think perhaps there are strange sightings for years to come, mysterious disappearances of people who wander the shores alone

im playing with this ball of idea clay and having great fun with it, others can play too if they wanna

#arcane silco #silco arcane #silco #shrUGS LOUDLY??#idk its been a long time since i shared ideas openly with fandom and for whatever reason its got me crazy nervous

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currently-evil · 6 months

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Rowan No surname found - Formerly Vigilante Sidestep - Curently Villain Déjà vu

Name: Rowan

Surname: None (Never decided on one, in official things he uses a variety of fake names, to the Rangers he introduced himself (in a bit of panic) as Rowan Rowan. He does get a lot of crap from Ortega for using such an obviously fake name, but it stuck.

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Demisexual

Villain name: DÉJÀ VU (Name is a bit of precaution, It's a safe fail in case somebody found the way he fights or moves familiar. If they confronted him he would heavily suggest the feeling of DÉJÀ VU is one of his powers.)

Vice: Cigarettes

Armour: Telepathy and speed

Armour look: Mysterious

Occupation: Mob boss

Romance: Steel/Ortega/Sidestep - Secret crush Ortega

Stats:

These are his stats from Book 1, when i find the ones from book 2 I will change this

Appearance:

Asian

Middle height

Black eyes

Some make up, mostly foundation and some "natural look" cosmetics, but he also like to use eyeliner and eyeshadow sometimes (he always forgets to remove them and then looks like panda)

Black hair, length about little something under his ears, with fringe, always style in same dramatic K-POP idol style

Many piercings : eyebrow piercing, on his lips snake bites and medusa, two studs in his tongue , industrial in right ear, belly button piercing and some below waist that i didnt figured out yet. Almost all done by himself

Always immaculately clothed usually in some mix of formal clothes and latest fashion

Personality: Ironic and sassy asshole with face almost permanently twisted in irritation and constant sigh: “I hate this so much”

Trivia:

He knows how to make vape tricks, back in Sidestep days he would do them to amuse Anathema

He used to have a really strong distaste towards his own body, feeling like its parasite, something to fight against. He used to thought "This body is all they want, if I could get rid of it, If i could be free of it…" Sometimes he would even self harm as a way to cope. Mostly making piercings, but on bad days he would try to carve tattoos off his body. But he would mostly just neglect himself, not eat enough, not sleep enough, not care about wounds on him.

(Ironically, jumping into Puppet only made this feeling worse.)

After the series of realizations, self discoveries and a few events that forced him to look at himself from another point of view He realized his body is not an enemy but maybe the only ally he can truly trust. He mostly got this feeling under control. It still there of course, under the surface of his mind, coming back sometimes, but Rowan worked out a routine that helps when needed.

In current time He takes great care of himself, have enormous collection of cosmetics worth small fortune. But while he almost obsessively takes care of his body, he greatly neglects mental health. At least until Ortega persuade him to go to therapy. Now he is working hard to get better.

Demisexual but he never really thought about it enough to give himself a label. He always considered thanks to his secrets he would always be alone, so no need to think about. There was even a part of him that considered that because he isn't a true human its logic that he have no interest in sex or reproduction. And then Ortega showed all suave, sexy and so warm. But of course Ortega wasn't into men. Then Heartbreak happened and again he figured love wasn't for him. He didn't even realize when Steel wormed into his heart.

He loves fashion and dressing up. Showing anywhere like its a runway or award ceremony. Absolute Diva.

Hates getting compliments. He accepts only the one regarding his clothes or his fashion sense; all others make him crumble and whiter and cringe. Run away or threaten people to stop.

People think his natural state (sassy eye rolling bitch) is a sign of dislike but it's actually the opposite. When he doesnt like somebody/dont trust them he becomes perfectly emotionless and motionless. Old habit from around his handlers who would severely punish him for any show of emotion or opposition.I don't think he is ready or even mentally stable enough to have pets but if he were, he would have two rats. Firstly bought so RatKing would have friends but then he would get genuinely attached. I think he would be a cat person, but he would never get a cat, too worried it might scare RatKing.

I dont have talent for art but this is the closes i managed to create what i imagine he looks like in picrew (minus the piercings)

Also this one :3

#Fallen hero sidestep #fallen hero retribution #fallen hero rebirth #fhr sidestep #Rowan rowan #yes this will be his tag

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qvietflight · 6 months

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Im not excited to be living in my home town again, but our grandparents are great so at least there's that.

My grandmother is so funny, tho. It isnt possible to see eye to eye with her on everything, but I learned from my aunts the best way to deal with that is to just move on past whatever it is. lol. She will tell you what she thinks, but wont tell you how to live. And the many ways she is just silly are so endearing.

We didnt eat before going over because... well, she ALWAYS cooks. Even tho she doesnt have to, of course, I had a strong suspicion. And when we got there she had cooked, as usual, and wanted to know if we had had lunch yet? of course not, you just cant eat before visiting my grandmother. But it plays out like this every time.

And for lunch she made both chicken and salad. The salad was very good, simple, and I recommended it to my partner (as one does) but my grandmother was in the middle of bemoaning how much chicken she made... and spooning it into my partners bowl. I said, "oh, i see you are too busy with the chicken right now, no salad for you!"

and of course she sent us with all the left overs. As we were leaving she called me back into the house to also give me paper plates and... forks... and a few knives. You can tell her no, but it is better to save the "no's" for when you really just need to end the conversation. It is usually just better to let her do what ever she has set her mind to, within reason.

For example, my aunt called with her daughters to say good night to grandma. I was forced (its fine) into a quick chat, during which my grandmother started doing dishes. Of course my aunt also had to put the girls to sleep, so I was like, "well... let me see if I can get her to stop doing dishes..." and my aunt was like, "you probably wont, you know how she is! (affectionate)" it is true, so I held the tablet for her anyway so she could say good night like she was supposed to.

She also told us about how she and her sister do not always see eye to eye. she says, "I love my sister, so when we disagree I just tell her I have another phone call..." Very good advice, I think, but the way she said it she must have recently had to take another call (exasperated.)

She did tell us some unfortunate things, like how a flooring person tried to scam her out of money (she avoided it just fine; he wasn't too clever, fortunately!) How she is often afraid to call people to get work done on the house because of anti-indigenous racism (we aren't indigenous, but racists don't care.)

She is incredibly resourceful. Her toilet? or sink? or? she substituted in the vietnamese word, which she does every now and then but not often enough for me to have learned many words. Anyway, some pipe was clogged and she managed to fix it her self! She was quite proud, which is just fine, but i think maybe she didnt need to lose her upstairs bathroom for 3 weeks...

We moved up here to take care of my partners grandmother, but it is just as well. We can also help take care of mine! I just have to figure out how to convince her to let us get her sink focet fixed...

#I told her how we had had similar problems living in florida where #shopping at white walmarts i would have difficulty because they thought i was latine #so when we shop now my partner does most of the parading around with their white privilege so we #can shop in peace!!! so I said it would be no problem for us to hire people less likely to bother us #she isnt wrong tho there is a racism problem here in our home town #so much so that there are BILLBOARDS telling us which places to boycott and stickers/flyers all over town #this place has it's problems #but there are a great many good people here too #and my partner is very happy to prevent problems by just standing around being white anyway #if it is as easily prevented as just needing them to stand around great!#if not that's when I get to be rude i suppose lol im not usually rude but I CAN be #just leave my tiny grandmother alone jeeeeeee

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peachpopfizz · 2 years

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Hello may I ask if u can do Morro headcanon

*clasps hands* CAN YOU??? oh get ready for this i have sm to say

• for starters, morro wu is the name they go by!! the very first time sensei wu heard morro refer to himself with it he cried so hard

• morro is nonbinary, going mostly by they/them and he/him pronouns, but if you used she/her or anything of the like they wouldn't mind :)

• biromantic and greysexual!! can you tell im projecting yet?

moving onto my purely personal stuff:

• they play violin!! they picked it up after coming back to life. the wind responds to the song their playing. its a beautiful sight

• morro %100 needs glasses. do they get them?? no

• his gi's now associated more with the color yellow. he wanted to move away from green, and yellows pretty (and one of the few gi colors not taken already)

• cats!!! they love cats so much!!!!!! feeds all the strays. they love him

• the once green stripe in their hair is now grey, and they have a ghost scar across their left cheek, reaching all the way to their chin

• 100% was forced to read starfarer bc of jay and lloyd. he says he hates it (he ADORES it)

• they wear skirts and dresses when they feel like it!! clothes they can feel their element in? fuck yeah!!!

ok now done with the personal headcanons, onto more specific stuff :)

• in my 'morro is revived/redeemed/he just stays like we all wanted him to' au he does not move in directly with the ninja, instead living higher up in the mountains, in a small town southeast of Ninjago city. they feel at peace there, up in their element, away from most modern technology.

- both he and the ninja liked this decision more, while wu did not, but I'll get into their individual dynamics more later

-he doesnt really talk to anyone from the village, but anytime he goes to buy supplies and stuff he tries his best to give money and food to the homeless he passes. especially children.

-the children of the village therefore deem him a myth, some tell ghost stories of him, and others call him a good luck charm. morro thinks this is adorable, really, and plays into it; giving vague fortunes everytime a kid points him out.

• the ninja and wu definitely come to visit him sometimes too, and no matter how many times they do so morro's always suprised they care. the first time lloyd came to visit them on his own they were so astonished for like the next month

• whenever there's a world-threatening villain present and they need his aid, it is painstakingly obvious. they normally come to him all chill, but whenever they need help they come to him like akward in-laws.

- *sliding inside their door* "heyyy morro-"

- *exhausted sigh* "what is it now? another giant snake???"

NOW speaking of his relationship with the ninja

• this is a vv common headcanon, but morro and cole would become friends the fastest i think. oh? you were a ghost too? you like food?? quiet and prefers to not be in social situations??? hey bestie

- bonus thing: morro hasn't heard of cake because they were first an orphan/homeless, and when they were adopted by wu they were too focused on getting their body in perfect condition to eat sweets. therefore, a conversation between them has most definitely happened like this:

- "hey, morro, im craving sweets, wanna go get some cake?"

- *genuinely confused* "whats cake?"

- "..."

- "cole???"

- "oh you poor sweet summer child"

- tldr; out of kai, zane, jay, nya, and cole, morro and cole get along the best!!

• i think morro and jay would get along mostly by jay being the one who informs him of modern technology. y'know, teaching him about it. morro flipped his lid the second he learned what a microwave was.

- i also think jay brings out his inner sassy side. they have a lot of nicknames for each other.

- oh also also you know how nya can move ice if she tries hard enough? jay can just barely move wind, same goes for morro with lightning. they definitely use each others powers responsibly

- (jay almost caused a minature tornado once and morro made a week long power outage. they don't speak of those things)

- tldr; morro feels rather relaxed around jay. even if he takes a lot of their energy, its not too hard for them to get along. they would probably cause doomsday if left alone together for too long tho

• morro and zane!! or as I like to call it; therapist friend to therapist friend

- while untrusting of morro for a while, Zane was able to connect with them by seeing their walls come down

- i think morro would go to zane to vent if need be, hes a great listener. same goes vice-versa.

- both wind and ice are very reactive to their weilders emotions, so like it or not, these two have to bottle up their feelings sometimes for the safety of others

- thats why they work so well together, actually. fire, earth, lighting, and water arent as emotionally reliant. and we're getting 2 energy

- whenever zane is over and makes food morro will steal some or get thrown out the kitchen trying

- tldr; their friendship is very (heh) chill

• kai and morro!! aka 'i don't like you very much but we have the common interest of protecting lloyd to make up for past mistakes so ig ill tolerate you'

- unstable relationship!! they bicker the most, lloyd mostly being the peacekeeper

- they have their moments tho

- i think kai would've found morro in a vulnerable state once, like crying or having a panic attack or something, and he just sat next to him and held his hand

- they both refuse to acknowledge that happend, but they were nicer to each other after it

- they don't get along very well mostly to kai holding a grudge, but morro doesn't blame him. they haven't completely forgiven themselves, either

• morro and nya. dictionary definition of 'its complicated'

- can they get along and work together? yes, surprisingly so. do they WANT to? nah

- even though hes human again, morros still highkey-lowkey scared of nya. its the ptsd innit

- thats why nyas so compliant with him in the first place, bc even though she holds almost a big a grude towards them as her brother, she sees morros use

- i do think they made a small storm once though, using their powers. just out of boredom. it was beautiful

• and last but most certainly not least: disaster cousins! i cant fit these two's entire journey together in this one post, but I'll highlight the most important bits

- loyd was terrified that morro survived the drowning of the Preeminent, so he was immensely relieved that morro wasnt staying with them

- the first time they saw each other after styxx shit was so akward. they were left alone in a room together for 5 seconds and they hated it

- lloyd never wanted a verbal apology from morro, saying that the only way they could probably get forgiveness is through action

- only got close to morro after he proved himself through his actions. i mean, after helping them and Ninjago many times, lloyd couldn't say he hated them anymore

- the first time lloyd visited on his own with the intention to just, like, hang out; morro broke. mf bluescreened. thought he was hallucinating for a solid 20 minutes.

- they play video games together and read comics and the like.

- they rarely do anything like sparring tbh. whenever they're together they let their inner children come out

- lloyd: *bringing out a coloring book and crayons* "hey I know we're like in our early 20's but-"

- morro: *snatching them* "y e s"

- Morro's EXTREMELY overprotective to compensate for what hes done. lloyd doesn't stop them, he knows it makes them feel less guilt, but it does get a liiitle overbearing sometimes

- wu bawled once he learned they were getting along, the hardest he cried in a while

- tldr; these two mean SO MUCH TO ME

do i have more? oh, yes, many. am i stopping? yes, sadly. i don't want peoples Tumblr to crash once they see this post.

#I DID SO MUCH GHOULIE GOT ME IN A DEATH GRIP 💀#ninjago #morro wu #ninjago morro #ninjago headcanons #i spent like an hour and a half on this hel p

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nico-idc · 3 years

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random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that. Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently.

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why.

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now.

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

undefined

youtube

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression.

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory.

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions.

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”.

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt.

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first.

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

#cussing tw #swearing tw #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #vent post

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motorcitizens · 4 years

Text

ive never seen anywhere to watch motorcity with subs? so i went looking and found transcripts of most of the early mc episodes (available in a reply so tumblr doesnt kill the post) but theyre missing a few towards the end. i decided on my fourth rewatch that id transcribe episode 9! whether youre a hard of hearing fan or just want the reference, here you go! let me know if the initials are annoying, ill edit them out.

-I got you with the slash!

-Nuh-uh!

-You first.

-Why me?

-Cuz you're dead anyway.

-There's nothing down here!

-Philip? S- stop fooling around, man. I- I can hear you down there.

-Aah!

[theme]

-The last time I bought anything from you, it took me a week to fumigate the kitchen!

-Okay, the reshcaps were a mistake, you're right about that. But today, I have something extra special...

D- ...then she says, 'that's why I can't eat the sandwich!'

[all laugh]

C- Wait, wait, I got one. Where does a snowman keep his money? In a snow bank! Eh? Get it? Come on, it's funny!

Th- We're searching for the Vanquisher, king of the realm?

T- Oh. I think they're talking about me.

M- Yeah, I have no idea who you're-

Th- There he is!

Burners- Chuck?!

T- [laughter]

R- Hey! You dare insult Lord Vanquisher? I should take your tongue and feed it to the birds.

T- Uh, you can't do that. I need my tongue.

C- Release him, Darkslayer.

R- ... Fortune smiles upon you today.

M- So, Chuck, you wanna introduce us to your... friends?

C- Guys, allow me to present: Thurman the Magnificent, and Ruby the Darkslayer!

Th: We are knights of the kingdom of Raymanthia.

C- It's called LARPing! [...] Live action role-playing? [...] Okay, I have a life outside of the Burners, you know!

D- Sure doesn't look like it.

T- Oh! I get it! Ahahaha!

Th- My Lord, a situation has arisen. The oracle awaits.

O- As you requested, Sam and Phillip were dispatched on a scouting mission early this morning. But we have not heard from them for many hours.

M- What do you mean you haven't heard from them?

O- I fear, Lord Vanquisher, they have gotten lost on the outskirts of the realm.

T- Texas is confused. Okay, now is this part of your little game or is this real?

D- We're standing behind some dude's van who calls himself the oracle. What do you think?

O- I demand silence!

J- I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm with Texas on this one.

O- Chuck! Make em stop.

C- Wait. Is this part of the game?

Th- No. Sam and Philip are really missing.

M- So, this is for real?

O- We need your help.

C- I vow to find our wayward kinsmen.

C- Guys, this is LARPing!

T- Woah. That's it?

C- Each weekend, teams battle for control of the realm. The rules are simple: First, once you step onto the field of battle, you must remain in character. Second, if you must be vanquished: do so with honor. It's neat, ain't it?!

J- The game's already started?

R- If by 'game' you mean a ferocious battle to the death for the crown of Raymanthia, then yes.

O- But we can't win unless we find our friends.

[at the same time]

C- I say we split up.

M- Let's split up.

M- No disrespect! Chuck- uh, I mean, Lord Chuck. What do you think we should do?

C- Ahem! If we split up, we'll cover more ground!

O/Th/R- As you say, Lord Vanquisher.

C- Okay guys. We'll check the warehouse near the old Renaissance center, you guys check the battlefield.

Th- I dunno where that is. Can somebody else drive?

M- So, King Chuck. How'd you win your crown?

O- It happened many weekends ago... Chuck stood as freedom's last hope against Mad Dog the Conqueror. If he were to fall, darkness would reign for yet another long weekend. Mad Dog summoned his dragon to finish off the Vanquisher once and for all, but fate had different plans. It was totally awesome!

C- Naw, it wasn't... that awesome.

D- Little dudes!

J- Sam! Phillip?

D- Where are you?

Guy- Huzzah!

R- Leave this to me!

Guy- The bards shall sing of this day... the day the Darkslayer fell!

R- Someone shall fall on this day... but it shall not be me.

[fighting noises]

Guy- Aha! Tsk, tsk. You've lost your sword!

T- hyah!

R- What are you doing! I had him right where I wanted him!

Guy- You're not playing by the rules.

T- These are Texas rules! [karate noises] Now. We need you to answer some questions.

D- We're looking for two missing kids, Sam and Phillip. Have you seen them?

Guy- I'd rather die a thousand deaths than help the likes of you.

J- Ahem! Forgive us, my liege, but we are but humble squires in search of our kinsmen. Can you help us?

Guy- I've never been one to refuse a lady, certainly not one as ravishing as you. Saw your kinsmen five hours ago, approaching the Dungeon of Anguish.

D- Neat trick.

Th- We're never gonna find them in time. Then the stupid Bardonians are gonna win, think they're all cool with their fancy mustaches.

C- Hey. Buck up there, camper! People said we'd never win the Battle Royale last Fall, but we did. Our friends are out there, and we'll find em! We just gotta keep-

M- Uh, sorry. Dutch just called. Your friends were seen someplace called the Dungeon Anguish?

Th- It's actually the Dungeon of Anguish.

C- It's, uh. Well, it's actually just in the basement right here.

C- Wah, ah! Get it off me, get it off me!

Th- This isn't part of the game!

M- Yeah, well, neither is this!

R- That was. Incredible!

D- What were those things?

M- Don't know. But I'm betting they have something to do with our missing friends. We have to move. [LARPers kneel] Uh, come on. Get up, guys, we don't have time for this.

O- From this day forth, you shall be known as "Mike, the Smiling Dragon."

Th- You just got a great name. Jealous!

C- For saving my life on the field of battle, I owe you a debt of life.

M- That's... really not necessary.

O- Actually, it's totally necessary. The king of the realm cannot rule while carrying a debt of life.

C- As such, I give the crown to the Smiling Dragon!

M- No. No, Please, look, I can't, I just- I was-

C- Mikey, you gotta!

J- Hey guys, check this out! I've never seen that symbol before.

D- That's really old.

M- Way before my time. Maybe Jacob can help.

Th- What if those... things have Sam and Phillip?

R- Never fear. We have the Smiling Dragon. As long as he's our king, we can't lose. Did you see his moves? They were just so- so-!

M- You okay, buddy? Look, if it's about what happened back there, I'm sorry man. I was just trying to help.

C- It's not that. It's just-

M- Just what?

C- Look, I tripped, okay?

M- Um... If that's some kind of LARPer slang, I have no idea what it means.

C- The story you heard. About how I earned my crown? That's not how it really... went down. It was my first real battle. I'd never held a real lance before. I was still getting my balance when Lord Mad Dog summoned his dragon... I ran forward but... I tripped. The lance fell and hit him by accident! I won my crown with a lie. Hey... it's better that you're king now. I was never fit for the post. I've been king for 48 consecutive weekends, and-

M- 48? Woah, you do play this game a lot.

C- Yeah, but... it took less than an hour of LARPing with you for the others to see me for what I truly am... a follower.

M- Hey, a follower couldn't have led his team to 48 consecutive victories. You can't fake that!

C- Mikey... Look, I appreciate your support but we both know I'm no leader. Not when I'm a Burner and not even when I'm here, playing make believe.

M- Here. Take the pin back.

C- You can't just give it to me! The only way I can get it back is to earn it by saving your life. And let's be honest. That ain't gonna happen.

Th- Never seen that tunnel before. You aren't planning on taking us down there, are you?

R- Well I'm going in!

Th- Do you know how much trouble I'll get in if my mom finds out I went down some crazy dark tunnel looking for killer robots?!

O- He's not joking. His mom is terrifying.

M- They're right. This isn't a game anymore. Texas will stay up here and keep you safe while we go get your friends.

T- What! Wait, why me?

M- Because you're the bravest warrior we've got.

T- Yeah, that's true, but come on! Don't leave me with the nerds!

D- What is this place?

O- Booyah! Mutant wolverine. I win!

Th- I could show you how to use that.

T- Save it. Not interested.

O- Why not? You're really good.

T- You really think so?

Th- Here, watch.

T- Hyah! Huh?

T- Mike, Julie! Incoming! We got trouble!

Th- Come on, I just got this!

O- Your mom is gonna be so mad.

J- This isn't working!

M- I'm open to suggestions!

R- A wizard!

Ja- Applesauce!

J- Jacob?

R- Aww!

Bot- The creator has returned!

M- Uh, Jacob? Care to fill us in?

Ja- It started back when Kane and I were partners- before there even was a Deluxe! I was designing our first ever Utility Bot. Its purpose was to make life in Detroit easier and safer. I equipped it with a new AI that would allow the bot to anticipate human commands, but I was the only one the bot seemed to listen to. But if it were ever to escape the lab, there's no telling the danger it could pose. I begged Kane to shut the program down! I always thought he did.

Bot: It began soon after you left us. Kane retrained us! We were instructed to capture enemies of the public and bring them back to Kane's new creation, an Interrogator. But the humans could not control it. Kane sealed the lab. Our new master told us every human was out to destroy us. As such, every human became our enemy. Disloyalty was severely punished. So we waited, until this door finally opened.

M- Our friends went missing this morning. Have you seen them?

Bot- Of course. We took them per our master's instructions.

J- We need to get them back!

[roar]

Bot- Our master has awoken. If he discovers you here with us, he will destroy us.

M- Get the LARPers out of here!

C- I'm not leaving you guys!

R- Our place is here, with our King!

M- This isn't a game! Get your friends to safety.

C- Let's move!

D- Come on!

J- Look out!

[rubble collapses the door]

T- Mike!

D- Julie!

Both- Jacob!

D- We'll never move this stuff by ourselves!

T- Says who?

Th- What do we do?

C- I know a way to get through there! But I will require your van.

Ja- There used to be another exit!

J- Hey, look at this!

M- The kids have to be in one of those rooms. If we can find a way past that thing we can rescue them and get the heck out of here! Think you can buy us some time?

J- Do you even have to ask? Hey, ugly! Over here!

M- Sam! Phillip! Climb up here!

S- You're the new king of the realm?

M- You bet your butt I am. Lord Smiling Dragon, at your service. Now get up that rope, squire!

T- Okay, I admit. It's pretty cool.

C- But is it possible?

D- Sure. But there's no way the three of us can build it fast enough.

C- What if they helped?

D- I know you don't mean the little lunatics that just tried to kill us!

Bot- We cannot get involved. If our master were to find out-

C- He's not your master! You are in Raymanthia. And in Raymanthia, every man- or... freaky little Utiliton- is free! Free to stand up for yourselves. Free to fight back! And free to live! Our friends are down there, and I swear to you on the steel of my blade that even if I have to slay the beast itself, we! will! bring them back!

[utilitons cheering]

T- hwah! Nah, see, this ain't nerdy. This is a level 25 battle ax, okay? Twenty five. Think about it.

Ja- Maybe there wasn't another exit?

M- Stay here!

M- Way to go, Chuck!

S&P- The Vanquisher!

T- Make way for Texas!

C- The beast is absorbing the blasts!

[mike gets got]

C- Mike!

C- Drive! and when I say stop, stop fast! ...STOP!

M- Ha, oh yeah!

M- For saving my life on the field of battle, I owe you my life. My steel is yours to command, since a king cannot carry... I forget how the rest of it goes, here! All hail King Chuck, the Vanquisher!

R- This was the coolest game ever!

M- ... the game. Your win streak. You guys have to go defend your crown!

Th- We'll never be able to muster an attack in time.

T- What if we help.

M- We're yours to command, Lord Vanquisher.

C- For the glory of the realm!

[all yell]

#motorcity #i meant to just. have this but i figured i might as well post it #chuck (motorcity)#mike chilton #julie kane #dutch gordy #texas (motorcity)#mne

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i-hate-everyone--equal · 4 years

Text

After having a very rough life that makes her want to risk it all at the age of 12. Elaina receives a call from her older brother begging for help with his new born daughter. After watching the fiasco Ari and Aaliyah, her little sisters started in Crenshaw and knowing they needed to lay low for a long time. They head to a Freeridge California and meet a little beat up boy named Cesar. After awhile they start to rebuild the never put together family that she's always wanted but what happens when his older brother finally gets out of jail?

Show some love if you like it! I do not own on my block or any of its characters. I only own my own ocs. I also dont own the pictures. If you don't like the book don't read it and I'm always welcome to nice criticism but if your an ass you will be removed. I also dont speak spanish so I'm gonna do the best I can.

...................................................................

Driving to get to my new house in Freeridge was tiring as hell with my mija in the car. Dont get me wrong I know this is the first time we've got to spend time together in awhile but, I also know the girls hyped her up on candy and soda from the way she practically vibrating and jumping in her purple and black car seat. Fortunately she crashed from her sugar high about 40 minutes back and I would be able to carry her big head into the house.

Tapping my hand in the steering wheel, I pull through tagged up streets until I arrive at my new house in Freeridge, California. There were little trees and bushes blocking all edges of the house at the end of the street giving it a very good privacy setting. Its walls a off white concrete with beige tiles on the roof. There was a big yard big enough to store some of the cars Juju and I like to work on, a small garage and a doggie house for my dog Cerberus. As my eyes roam the house I let out the sigh that seems to have been on the tip of my tongue since I left my old home in Crenshaw.

I notice there were no lights on in the house and that I will have to get black out curtains, considering the amount of windows there were. It wont be good when I have to drink my self to sleep only to be woken up by the sun wanting to show how much holier it is than I. The houses off white cemented walls shined in the fading sunlight the light reflecting off the windows giving it a warm and cozy look thankfully along with the sun going down so is the famous unforgivable heat.

Stepping out of the car was a little more challenging than I thought it was going to be considering how my skin wanted to mend into the car seat. So, after I finally was able to surgically remove myself I was able to start walking up to the reinforced door one of the first things I noticed.

'That was probably one of Vin's ideas.' A bitter smile came at the thought....missing mi familia. I honestly don't even know where he is right now. 'I'll find you when it's safe again.' Already knowing the words were lies before they even left his mouth.

The second thing I notice was the cameras discreetly pointing at every angle surronding my house. So if a lizard crossed my yard I would know about it. I opened the door and propped it open with one of door stopper that was right next to it. Not even bothering to look further inside Going back to the car and I pull out mi hija without waking her while also grabbing whatever else we needed to spend one night in an empty house.

Quickly grabbing my silver .9mm from the glove department, I place it in my waist band of my black yoga shorts and start walking in the house and once fully inside, I put Nena and the bags down in the living room on the deep brown wooden floors before rubbing her hair. Glancing at her mixed cream skin with crazy black curly hair I secretly admire her beauty. 'She deserves this fresh start more than any of us. ' I quietly think to myself continuing to take in her peaceful sleeping face that looked so much like her fathers.

She has such an innocent face but, that's just what lures you in about her. She has such a devilish smile when you get past her angelic eyes.

Rubbing her hair once more I walk out and grab a few more bags before placing those bags around her as well. I go back and lock the door before going through her night bag and pulling out her pajamas.

Picking her up to wake her only causes her to start groaning and whining as she lazily opens her eyes and gives me a sweet soft kiss.

"We have to change your clothes before you go back to sleep Nena." I say quietly to the 3 year old.

"Tía" she said with her quiet rarely used voice it coming out soft and toddlerish. Her tired eyes trying to close despite my best efforts. God this girl could try to sleep through anything!

"You cant call me that anymore mija." I said to her softly with my soothing voice while looking into her deep amber eyes. My mother always said that I had the voice capable of putting anyone to sleep. I remember when I was 4 she told me one night that she wanted me to sing for her every night to chase away the nightmares. Unfortunately the next morning I found her overdosed in the tub covered in urine and throw up.

"Yes mama." She said starting to get a little excited but still in her sleep haze.

"I love you mama." Nena said burying her head into my shoulder. Secretly trying to go back to sleep from what I could tell by the way she started to slump into my arms.

"I love you too Nena. We have to get you changed before you go back to sleep plum."I said chuckling to the half asleep toddler before looking away and turning to my phone when I hear the gun shot notification. Clicking my phone on. I see a blaring picture of Nena and *Bang!!* another new text message. This one from the moving company. [ We will arrive Tomorrow at 7 am] Alright. Not that bad and there's really nothing I could do about that right now.

Scrolling to my other messages I see one from Abuela.

[ We are 30 minutes out. She is in a mood driving us all loco.] Chuckling when I finished reading.

'She just lost her sister, nana.' I thought to myself. Before shaking my head to get rid of the thoughts of her. Putting down Nena on the floor unconsciously bringing up old unwanted memories of before the beginning of all of this bullshit.

*Flashback 2 years ago*

Sitting here with my hands bruised, slashed, and bleeding all over the place from the street fights I've had that past week. The dark purple and yellow bruises seeming to do a puzzle the way they fit on top of each other.

Kissing my teeth and looking far out of space while throwing my head back, and letting out a small scream while standing up to let out my frustrations. Today was not a good day, but it seems like bad days are the only days I'm allowed to have anymore honestly. Turning my head around to fully take in my shitty surronding of an abandoned apartment building with dried blood on the walls, broken glass bottles everywhere, and dirty couches and mattresses. The whole place stunk of mold, anemone, and shit. A scoff escapes me.

'What am I even doing here?' I think to myself but in reality I already know why I was not home..... trying to get too fucked up to remember anything. This is not where I am supposed to be doing that though. I pry through the existing migraine to get to the depressing things I'm forced to call my thoughts. While pulling out my phone to check to see if I have recieved any messages, nope but it is 02:30.

'I should probably go home.' Although, as soon as that thought went though my head it was already gone. My mind being too filled with the existing numbness and static to absorb anymore thoughts of home.

Not now.... 'Theres no one there to return to anymore.'

Walking though the trashed old and moldy apartment building somewhere in NY blood territory if the tagged up place was anything to go by I stepped out side. Looking around I notice the tagged up neighborhood and my 2014 purple and black Dodge Charger. Stepping in the car with a groan I start the car and look at my phone again to connect the bluetooth and start playing Leroyce -Forever before I take off toward a destination not really caring where as long as it's not here.

Opening my glove department I pull out a blunt and light it before coming to a stop. 'Got to get off the road soon dont want to get pulled over again.' I sigh, even though I look older than it I am still only 10. One that really is tired of this worlds sandeces 'I really dont want to call Vin to tell the officer to let me go if I get caught.' I add another sigh to my day as I pull into a parking space and turning off the car. I continue to smoke my blunt while listening to the music letting it vibe though me. 'I haven't eaten in 3 days' I think with, yeah you guessed it another sigh not particularly having an appetite or craving anything to eat.

Putting out the roach that was left while also making sure my silver glock is by my side, I get out of the car and walk to the nearest store. Walking up to the 711 I open the door and notice there were three young chicos in the candy isle and an Arabian at the register. Going to the bakery isle I grab two banana nut muffins before going to grab a beer and some chips.

"Can I get a black and mild wood tip?" I asked as I walked up to the Arabian girl at the register. Her big brown eyes first going to my holstered gun before looking into my hazel green eyes. Looking like she was having a debate with herself on whether or not to ask for an armored mixed girls Id. Flipping her fake blonde hair it seems like she made the decision that she doesnt care about my life.

"That will be 9.34."

Placing a 10 on the counter I walk away leaving the change. Going straight back to my car rolling another one and, staring off into space letting my mind wonder into the depths that would only bring and leave more scars. The only thing that brings me back is the sound of my ringer going off. Looking at the screen I see a picture of my hermano Vin and I on the screen. My long curly black hair pushed to the side my eyes closed and a bright smile on my full lips showing off my pearly whites. Vins tattoed arms wrapped around his hermanita as tight as possible knowing that would be the last time we would see each other for awhile.... and it's already been 8 months. "Qué?" I demanded. As soon as I picked up the phone.

"Elaina."

"Hm?"

"Te necesito." His deep voice says hesitantly over the phone.'Really....now you need me?'

"Por qué?"

"We can't speak about it on the phone. I need you to come to me." His gravely deep voice demanded on the phone. Not really giving me a choice in the matter in my head.

But now, what could be so important that you cant tell me over the phone. Well the only way I was going to find out was by going to him.

"I'm in New York right now, get my location and set it to the nearest airport. Make sure you keep the cops from my route I dont want any problems. Order me a private jet and set it to where ever you are."

" Thank you Elaina."

Humming, then ending the conversation. I recieve the route not even a minute later. Taking care of my family is a full time job that I didnt even sign up for....but without them I would have given up a long time ago. I sighed pulling out of the parking lot finally lightin the blunt.

'This finna be some bullshit.Well at least I get to go to London.'

*Present*

Hearing a truck pull up outside the house. Walking to the door I peek out the bullet proof window to see Abuela's black truck outside. The short mexican lady is cursing my hermanitas the hell out I notice with a small smile. Knowing them they probably deserve it. Shaking my head I start making my way to the door unlocking the door and stepping onto the second brick step.

"THATS YOUR MOTHERFUCKING EXCUSE FOR GETTING ALL THAT SHIT ON MY SEATS!?" oooh car problems...... Walking right back inside grabbing Nena who found her toy bag and was currently sleeping on a stuffed animal. But she was already dressed in her pajamas so imma just count it as a win-win situation. I already did what I needed to do which was open the door.

"Sissy save us!!!!" I hear both my other twin sisters yell. No. You fucked up her truck. You did this to a crazy Mob grandma.

"Let's go find somewhere to sleep Nena." Walking off not listening to the distressing calls of "Sissy!" from all three my sisters now.

I end up picking the empty master bedroom mentally cursing my brother for not having furniture arrive before his family did. 'Pendejo.'

Laying down on the carpet floor while putting white headphones in my ears and using a giant panda stuff animal as a pillow I pull an already asleep Nena over me and, put her head on my chest before closing my eyes.

I stayed like that for hours my insomnia not letting me sleep and my mind never truly letting me rest. I sit, wait, and listen to my sisters and grandma put away the little things they had before going to sleep. Well at least two of them do.

Looking up to my door as I hear the door click open. My younger sister Juju is there with a burning blunt and bottle of Hennessy...... our sleep medicine.

She's wearing a faded purple spaghetti strap crop top and black pajamas shorts. Most of her tattoos being shown off due to the lack of clothes. Pushing a deeply asleep toddler off of me and onto the panda. I watched her wrap her arms around the toy before turning and grabbing my phone.

After making sure my bebé was still fully asleep, something I honestly dont know why I even questioned, I stand up.

Following my younger sister outside to the back yard we hop on the concrete railing facing opposite of each other with the bottle between us and pop it open. Taking out my phone I start to play Say yes by Floetry. Before I really start to look around the back yard. Cerberus was going to have the time of his life fucking shit up back here. He will be arriving tomorrow along with the furniture, he doesn't do well with long road trips at all so we decided to just drug him and put him on a plane along with the rest of the stuff.

"I thought Vin said he would be here?" Her raspy tired voice said drawing me out of my thoughts and making me turn towards her. Big puppy dog hazel eyes that had dark circles from lack of sleep and brown curly hair made her look like a sun goddess. Her light carmel skin basically glowing in the moon and pool light. Out of all of my siblings I connected with sisters the most. Maybe because I went through a lot of bull shit with them? Maybe because they shared the womb at the same time with me? Either way I'm happy for it considering how much the world seems to hates my guts its good to have sisters that actually care if I die or not.

"You know why he can't come here." I said hitting the blunt. Knowingly about to start an unwanted argument.

"Wouldn't you say to protect his girls he would actually be here with us?Not there trying to get himself killed?!"She asked irritated and worried.

"Hm." Taking the bottle she chugs down the liquor with no regrets. Before handing it to me when she is done, I do the same thing until I feel somewhat alright.

"What school are we going to go to? Will you do football?" Now why would I be thinking about doing football? This ain't my home.

"We will be going to sign up for school soon I guess and no I'm not doing football."

" You might be able to start a new life, have friends, find love." She continued. Her mind filled with nothing but romance, roses, and bullets. She already knew that we shouldnt really get attached to anyone out here. It was far to dangerous to get anyone evolved in our lives but right now on this railing she can dream.

"Are you listing out Liyah's to-do list or mine?" I said laughing and fully feeling the effects of the alcohol. Not wanting to be the one to state the facts.

"All of ours fool!" She says laughing. Her smile showing off her small dimples. The smile slowly going away putting her head on my shoulder before shaking it.

"After everything that's been going on we deserve it.........How did we get here hermana?" Sighing I dont answer, knowing that question was more towards the Angels than to me.

"This isn't fair, for him to send us to one place while hes halfway around the world." She continues with a slight whimper in her voice. Taking another sip out of the bottle before passing it and lighting a black and mild.

"He's trying his best." Those soft spoken words could've been yelled at the poor girl with how quickly she quieted down.

Looking over at her down casted head.

"Yeah he is trying his best....but, his best could be with us there to help." She said damn near sobbing. The medicine is working.

"You know why we cant do that Juju. Come on." I said picking her up from the railing and stumbling back into the room after I placed her next to Nena before turning around and locking the door. Poor girl was already asleep when I turned back around.

What could I expect though after everything that's been going on. Quickly checking my phone for the time to see 02:45. I finally lay down next to them and let the alcohol in my system drag me into Morpheus's arms.

#oscar diaz #on my block #sad eyes #cesar diaz #netflix #gangs #love #freeridge #spooky #santos #prophets #Spotify

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queeruma · 5 years

Text

Thoughts on Escape from the Isle of the Lost

under the cut because spoilers

good things

Celia is Fantastic. reads fortunes, cheeky, realises her own potential and does magic with her shadow. 10/10 would die for

Uma misses her crew, also it’s confirmed that she can create storms and generally affect the weather, and transform into more than one sea creature. in general she seems to be a natural when it comes to magic.

Harry is miserable bc uma’s not there. the crew are still on the ship.

‘But all she felt for this ragged, unruly crowd was deep empathy and affection. Mal wished they could all understand that there were greater things to live for than revenge or violence or pettiness, greed, and graft.’ mal is... suddenly the person most interested in helping the kids on the isle?? i’m not sure how I feel about it but if they’re going to position her as ‘the liberator’ then at least they’re making her act like it

Dr facilier is very fun and also the most decent parent we’ve seen by far

‘Mal would never forget her name, or who freed the Isle of the Lost: UMA.’ okay so at least uma’s still interested in freeing the isle, even if they’re implying it’s only because she knows mal wants to

MDLC has finally realised that it’s spelt ‘deux’, and not ‘doux’

bad things

idk basically everything else??

i might have said this before on this blog but MDLC is really, really bad at making the core four in any way sympathetic to me. this book is by far the worst from that standpoint.

we don’t get to see a lot of the core four actually being friends. they do stuff together (not even that much bc they’re constantly with their significant others instead), but that Bond between them just isn’t there.

carlos honest to god forgets that there’s nothing nice on the Isle. He brings his spa bathrobe with him. He was expecting a hotel. What on earth?????

jay just... doesn’t really think about the Isle. At All.

evie is still going on about kids ‘deserving’ to go to auradon.

mal has done a complete 180 and now loves doing all the things she hated doing in d2.

they’re all kind of spoiled now. it sucks.

dizzy is still on the isle. somehow no one is fighting very hard to get her to auradon anymore.

ben is suddenly way more like his parents in terms of his attitude towards the isle. he still wants to unite them eventually, but he and mal literally negotiate how many kids can come to auradon with him arguing for lower numbers and her arguing for higher. as far as I can tell, when Ben and Mal swapped saliva at the end of d2 they also swapped attitudes towards the isle

hades is whiny, annoying and pathetic. and Mal’s dad (at least they’re hinting Very Strongly at it). he doesn’t match the energy we’ve seen from cheyenne jackson in the trailers at all. we don’t hear a single one of the ideas from the meet hades trailer at any point.

the ‘evil plot’ between him and uma is.... just uma. who is only interested in revenge against mal now. no more interest in the isle. nope, we have to bring down the barrier just so uma can defeat mal.

There’s a royal council. It’s ben, king beast, queen belle, mal, and fairy godmother. they sit and eat scones, served by mrs potts, chip, lumiere and cogsworth. beast is very grumpy because people want to help the villain kids.

carlos’ name in their group chat is ‘c-dog’

‘Ben had sympathy for the kids on the Isle, but he wasn’t sure he really wanted his friends to go back there. Wasn’t it too dangerous?’ WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS FOR THE KIDS WHO ARE STUCK THERE, BEN

“Dangerous? Not to us,” scoffed Jay. “We know every trick in the book.” Jay. Baby. Last time you went back, you lost Ben in about 30 seconds despite two of you standing with him the entire time. The time before that, Maddy literally came this close to drowning Mal.

‘For a brief moment, back at the Auradon Cotillion, she had been a princess; she had stood on the deck of a magnificent ship, and Ben was hers. He had looked in her eyes with love—sure, he had been spelled, but who really cared? Except in the end, that’s all it was—a brief moment.’ SINCE WHEN IS THIS SOMETHING UMA WANTED. MELISSA TURN ON LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK

“Do we really need to discuss this right now?” King Beast yawned. GUILLOTINE. GUILLOTINE! SORRY BEN YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO BE LIKE THE REST OF THE CHARACTERS AND ONLY HAVE ONE PARENT.

“We hear from our people that Uma has been seen underwater. She’s out there, free to wreak havoc and do whatever she wants.” okay but has she though. or is she not bothering you at all. guys.

“It’s just, her mother… her mother almost destroyed my family.” yes. and then her mother was killed. and then YOUR FAMILY TOOK PART IN BRINGING HER BACK FROM THE DEAD AND IMPRISONING UMA FOR LIFE FOR HER MOTHER’S CRIMES

mal is aware that her mother is out there somewhere as a lizard.... and she does not give a damn.

apparently it has not occurred to any of the core four that maybe children shouldn’t have to apply to be able to have decent food. maybe try telling ben to stop sending them trash?? and start sending them stuff that’s edible instead of trying to convince them to come to auradon so they can eat

okay, so facilier’s like a semi-decent headmaster, even if it is of a school of evil. does he like.... get paid?? because he’s working with auradon here. i hate to bring this up disney but keeping someone in prison and forcing them to work for free is uhhhhhh. slavery.

‘if Celia deserved to get in to Auradon Prep, she would. But it would be on her own merit, not because the VKs swayed the committee.’ WHAT FUCKING MERIT EVIE. SHES LIKE 12. SHE DOESNT NEED TO EARN THE RIGHT NOT TO BE IN PRISON. YOU DIDNT FUCKING WELL HAVE TO.

gaston is a coach. this isn’t a massive problem but I feel like it kind of undermines jay’s relationship with his coach in d1?? also since when does gaston know literally anything about teamwork.

the Marry Hint

cj is back on the isle???

MDLC wrote out the whole of the under the sea mess and i understand it even less than before. was the entire thing a hallucination from hades??? why even put harry, gil and dizzy in there??? was uma using her necklace in some way? how much of it was hallucination?? did any of it happen??

doc brought up the goblins back in the first book. this is the fourth book. nothing has changed for them, except for the things that have got worse

................. mal’s friends seem to have forgotten that she can’t swim. apparently they’re not afraid of her drowning, despite her being stuck underwater.

mal can swim underwater as a dragon apparently??? yes, she’s definitely designed for rapid underwater movement

“A haircut? At this time of night?” asked Carlos. “I’ll never understand women.” first the friendzone comment in d2, now this??? why are they so determined to make carlos a Certified Heterosexual Bro™

they get the isle kids to watch them graduate. somehow this is written like it’s a good thing.

everyone forgets what happened on the isle. I can only assume this is MDLC’s way around the fact that it won’t be mentioned or thought of at any point during the movie

#eftiotl spoilers #h speaks #eftiotl

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cas-lost-grace · 5 years

Text

Dare

As demanded by @mythicalesbian , @dascean , @ailuromatron , @theladydetective , @anxious-gay-dinosaur , @casbeanie (I probably forgot someone)

A sequel of Truth or Dare, explicit, college!au, first time, friends to lovers

It must be Murphy’s law that when you drunkenly decide to do something you don’t have the courage for while sober, the moment you are about to actually do it, you instantly sober up.

Dean watches as Cas closes the door and sits on Dean’s bed and his head is suddenly painfully clear.

Dean leans his back against the door and runs his hands over his face.

"Dean? Are you okay?"

Dean shakes his head but doesn’t elaborate.

Castiel stands up and with a concerned expression on his face walks towards Dean.

"What’s wrong?" he asks tilting his head.

"Do you... do you really want to do it?"

"What? Finger you? Yes. I’d like to suck your cock too if that’s fine."

Dean closes his eyes and lets his head hit the door.

"How can you just... we- we’re-"

"Friends?"

Dean looks at him and nods, glad that he understands.

"Yes, we are, Dean. But I’m also very attracted to you. And it´s mutual judging by how determined you’ve been all night to get me undressed."

Dean’s lips part, but he doesn’t get a chance to say anything.

Cas gives him a small sad smile and brushes his fingertips down Dean’s jaw.

"But you’re right, Dean. We shouldn’t do it. Not like this, not because of a dare. If I’m ever going to do anything sexual with you, it has to be because you actually want it." With that, he reaches around Dean for the door handle.

For a moment, Dean imagines he lets Cas go, then wakes up in the morning still wanting him but never ever finding the courage so they will stay very frustrated friends.

"Wait!"

Cas looks at him. His eyes are wide and his cheeks are still flushed and he’s wearing just his boxers. How the hell could Dean let him go?

"I want it," Dean basically spits the words out. Cas squints at him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I’m sure just... could we like... maybe... kiss first? If that’s okay?"

Cas looks like he’s trying to hold back a grin, but his lips still curl into a smile.

"Of course, Dean. You didn’t expect me to throw you on the bed and just fuck you with my fingers, did you?"

"I-uh." Dean rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks feel on hot. Cas huffs out a laugh.

"Come here, you dumbass, let me kiss you."

Dean looks up and before he can realize that they are really about to do it, Cas is leaning in and pressing their lips together.

Technically it’s like any other first kiss. A little awkward and hesitant before they get in sync with each other.

But other than this, it’s totally different than any other kiss Dean’s ever had. Because it’s Cas. It’s Cas and his lips are very soft, his tongue pointy and downward sinful and his shoulders are firm under Dean’s hands and his hair is all fluffy and it’s Cas. Smart, kind, dorky Cas that Dean’s been fascinated by from the first moment he met him. And now they are kissing and it’s blowing Dean’s mind making him feel even drunker than he’s felt before.

"Still want it?" Cas asks, his lips bearly leaving Dean’s.

"More than ever," Dean answers truthfully.

Dean’s still nervous as they stumble onto the bed, but Cas’ kisses distract him enough that he doesn’t entirely freak out when he finds himself on his back, his pants and underwear being pulled off.

"Wow, nice," Cas breathes out when Dean’s cock bobs against his belly. Dean’s cheeks feel so like they might go up in flames any minute.

"Thanks, I guess," he mutters. Cas chuckles and leans down to mouth at the base of Dean’s cock.

"Oh fuck!" Dean cries out. His arms fly up to grab the headboard.

Cas lets out another deep chuckle and rescues Dean’s feet from his clothes. He runs his palms up Dean’s hairy thighs, his stare is so intense on Dean’s body it’s almost unbearable. Dean tries not to twitch as Cas’ touch gives him goosebumps.

Cas’ hands tighten on Dean’s hipbones and he actually licks his lips before diving down and swallowing Dean’s cock.

Dean gasps for breath. He’s had blowjobs before, quite a lot, but nobody has ever blown him like this, with such devotion, like Dean’s the best thing he’s ever had in his mouth. Dean makes a sound that’s halfway between a moan and a sob, desperately trying not to push deeper into Cas’ throat.

Cas pulls off with an obscene wet sound and looks at Dean. His lips are even pinker than normally and his blue irises are almost entirely swallowed up by black pupils. Dean clenches his teeth feeling like he might come from the sight alone.

"So," Cas says as he straightens and pushes lightly at Dean’s knees to make him bent them. "When you did it yourself, how many fingers did you take?"

Dean’s boiling blood all drained to his cock but now it’s in his cheeks again.

"Just one," he admits breathlessly. "And I’ve never been with a guy." He bites his lip the moments the words are out. He has no idea why he said it. Cas’ eyes widen in surprise and for a brief moment, Dean dreads that Cas might back off.

"Not at all?" Cas asks. Dean shakes his head.

"I... I know I’m into guys I just... never acted on it."

"Hmm," Cas’ deep voice rumbles as he looks down at Dean. "Then I’d better try really hard to not ruin it for you," he says and rubs his stubbled cheek against Dean’s knee.

Dean thinks he might be already ruined for anyone else, but he fortunately manages to keep these words for himself.

Cas pushes Dean’s knees further up. Dean has to steady his breathing when he basically feels Cas’ stare on his hole.

Cas runs the pad of his thumb over the puckered flesh making Dean shiver.

Cas hums again like he’s deep in thoughts. "You know what? I changed my mind."

Dean gapes at him, terrified. If Cas is going to leave now, he’ll die of embarrassment.

"I want to eat you out."

"What?"

Cas frowns. "Use my mouth, on your hole. I’m pretty sure you’ll like it."

"But... but what about you? Isn’t it like... disgusting?"

Cas huffs out a laugh. "Don’t worry about me. I’m gonna enjoy this just fine." With that, he puts his hands on Dean’s ass cheeks to pull them apart and leans down.

"Cas!" Dean cries when the hot wet tongue drags over his sensitive rim.

Cas hums-a sound that’s starting to drive Dean crazy and licks and sucks. Dean lets go of the headboard to grab onto Cas’ hair tugging slightly. He knows he’s moaning like his life depends on it but he’s unable to stop himself. The sensations are so new and intimate and exciting.

He’s actually a little relieved when Cas stops because he’s started to feel overwhelmed. He looks at Cas who’s looking just slightly less out of breath than Dean feels.

"Good?" Cas asks.

"I’m having a heart attack."

Cas grins at him. "Ready for more?"

Dean nods. It will be a great way to die.

"Lube?" Cas asks.

"The second drawer," Dean says gesturing towards the nightstand. He’s glad he doesn’t have to move.

Cas crawls over him to reach the drawer. When he’s about to pull away, Dean grabs his shoulder. It’s so thick it makes Dean angry.

Cas looks at Dean with surprise but he relaxes when Dean pulls him down for a kiss. The taste is strange, but it’s the idea of where that mouth has been that makes Dean shiver.

"Are you really okay?" Cas asks softly, his lips just a breath away from Deans. "We can stop here for now."

"Don’t you dare," Dean growls. Cas chuckles as he resumes his position between Dean’s legs.

He squeezes out some lube and rubs it between his palms to warm it.

"The angle is different so I’ll be able to push deeper than when you do it yourself."

Dean nods, his abandoned cock twitches at the idea.

"You need to let me know if something feels off. Okay?"

"I will. Just go on before I lose my nerve."

"Okay, try to relax," Cas suggests before brushing his wet fingertips over Dean’s hole. He pushes his index in, just to the first knuckle. Dean focuses on taking deep slow breaths. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets himself be overtaken by the sensation of Cas’ finger pushing deeper. It’s good, it’s familiar until it’s more than Dean’s used to. He moans and clenches his muscles which enhances the feeling of being filled and makes him moan even more.

"You okay?" Cas asks.

"I’m great."

Cas runs his free hand up Dean’s chest under his shirt and pinches his nipple making Dean hiss before he starts to move his finger inside Dean.

"Fuck yes," Dean sighs. He reaches for his cock, but Cas bats his hand away.

"No. Leave it up to me."

"Okay, okay, fine, oh god!" Dean cries out when Cas touches a spot inside him that makes his whole body clench with a shock of pleasure.

"Dean Winchester, let me introduce you to your prostate."

"Fuck!"

"Amazing, isn’t?"

Instead of a reply, Dean sobs into the back of his hand as Cas brushes over his prostate again and again.

"I’m going to add another finger," Cas informs and takes Dean’s incoherent sound as an affirmative.

Dean bites his lip and groans at the stretch and burn.

"Relax, babe, I’ve got you."

Dean opens his eyes. The utter focus with which Cas is looking at him is beautiful. His free hand is moving over Dean’s thigh in a soothing gesture. Dean wonders if anyone ever cared for his pleasure and comfort this much. He feels his body opening for Cas, letting him in and he’s rewarded by a feeling of fullness.

"God, Dean, you’re so beautiful," Cas says as he fucks Dean steadily. "I wish you could see yourself as I do right now. Loving my fingers up your ass. Your hole stretched around them, your cock leaking, your face... fuck Dean, it’s better than I imagined."

"You...you did?"

"Yeah. This and much more. You on your knees sucking my cock, you bend over the kitchen table, you in my lap."

Dean’s trembling, his body feels like a livewire, his climax is closing in.

"Cas, please," he moans.

Moving his hand faster, pushing it deeper and harder, Cas leans down and wraps his lips around Dean’s cock.

And Dean loses it. He thinks he might have shouted a somewhat coherent warning before his vision blacks out and he’s coming harder than ever. His body spasms so hard hi arches his back off the bad and kicks his legs out.

He opens his eyes, gasping for breath, his heart hammering against his breastbone.

Cas is grinning down at him. He has his boxers down to his knees and his hard cock in his hand.

It seems he didn’t pull back fast enough because there’s a speck of come on his chin.

Without thinking, Dean grabs the back of his head and pulls him down. Cas collapses on top of him with a huff and freezes a little when Dean licks his own jizz off his face.

Then they are kissing. Dirty and wet. Dean grabs Cas’ ass when he starts to rock his hips dragging his cock through the hot sticky mess on Dean’s stomach.

It feels so amazing Dean would come again if it was physically possible.

Cas moans Dean’s name when his orgasm hits and Dean holds him tight against his chest as Cas rides it.

They take a few long minutes to just bask in the afterglow. Then Cas pushes himself up and uses the kleenex on Dean’s nightstand to clean them up.

Cas suddenly seems very silent, the confidence with which he took Dean apart is gone. He pulls his boxers up and sits on the edge of the bed. Dean reaches for his arm.

"Are you gonna stay?"

Cas actually flinches at Dean’s words sending a pang of panic through Dean’s chest.

"I don’t think it’s a good idea," he says not looking Dean in the face.

It takes Dean a moment to find his breath. "Why?"

Cas finally turns to him. There’s a deep crease between his brows, his eyes sre sad. "Because there’s a good chance you’ll wake up in the morning and regret what we’ve done."

Dean mirrors his frown. "I don’t think so. And even if, we’re friends, we can figure it out."

Cas’ lips curl up but it lacks mirth. "Friends with benefits?"

"I don’t know. Maybe. If that’s what you want. Maybe something else."

Cas raises an eyebrow.

"Like boyfriends maybe?"

A sharp feeling like a bolt of lightning runs down Dean’s spine. He realizes it’s equal parts anxiety and excitement.

"You’d want that?" his voice sounds weak to his own ears.

"It’s what I dreamed of the most."

Dean huffs out the breath that he was holding. He tugs at Cas’ arm and Cas lies down next to him.

"Truth or dare?" Dean asks.

Cas’ eyes darken. "Dare."

"Be my boyfriend."

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel ficlet #college!au #friends to lovers #first time #mine

206 notes · View notes

modharlow · 5 years

Text

Today was one of those days again. The sky looked stormy yet shed no rain, the sun barely peeking out for a second before sheltering itself away. People were bustling about to do their everyday work, all seeming to enjoy themselves. Oh, how you wish that were you, but alas it was not. No, you were out here, passing through Valentine, because some sorry excuse of a father left the camp again. “Probably drunk off his ass again.” You lowly hissed out.

When Charles came up to Dutch and reported the missing man, the leaders eyes happened to fall on you to retrieve him. Fortunately he also sent Arthur with you. “I trust you kid,” Dutch started off as he lead you to your horse, “but not enough to believe you won’t kick Mr. Swanson’s ass.”

Well… at least he was cautious because he was right. If it had been just you, you would’ve beat the man black and blue—mostly out of anger but if you happen to fix whatever the hell was going on in that mans brain then that’d work fine too.

It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve lied hands on him, though you never want “too far”. Given everything he’d done, or hasn’t done for better words, you going easy on him was a mercy.

”Aw, now now, little birdy,” Arthur’s voice cut through your thoughts, “I know that face. Don’t tell me you plannin’ on killin’ him this time?” His tone was joking but you couldn’t help the silent “and if I do?” that came out.

Letting out a whistle, the outlaw adjusted his hat. “You ever gonna tell me what’s the bad blood between you two?”

”On my deathbed, maybe.”

”Don’t be like that.” He replied, his tone growing soft. “He’s still your father. Doesn’t help that he’s always drunk, I know, but he’s tryin’.”

You swore you’ve never felt such hot rage boil deep inside your veins. Your knuckles turned white from your grip in the horses’ reins and your teeth clenched down to prevent you from shouting at your friend. “Arthur,” your voice was tense, just like your body, “don’t be defendin’ that man when you’ve no reason.”

The ride was silent now, save for the goodhearted people that said hello to either of you as you passed, until you both made it out of town.

Arthur let out a long sigh before taking lead and changing the direction you both were going. “C’mon, we’re gonna talk this out, you ‘nd me.”

”Arthur-”

”We’ll find him, trust me. We always do. Right now you just need to explain to me why the hell you hate his guts so much when neither of you even look at each other.”

You took note at the new destination. It was somewhere away from the roads, perfect for a private talk.

Now it was your turn to let out a long sigh. You didn’t say anything until you both ended up by some trees. From there Arthur got off his horse and motioned for you to do the same. When you did he sat both you down at the foot of a tree, perfectly protected from prying ears and the possible rain if it were to happen.

Leaning his head against the tree, Arthur spoke. “When you joined our camp you were so happy, so giddy. You didn’t have a care in the world. It was… nice. A nice change of pace.”

”I was young then. I didn’t understand anythin’.”

”What makes you think you understand now?”

Scoffing, you turned away from him brought your knees to your chest. Silently, you said, “I understand enough to know he’s a dead-beat dad.”

”Feel like elaboratin’?”

It became silent again. The horses were eating grass as the tree swayed itself side-to-side, birds flying overhead in a mixture of dull colors. All were unaware of the grief and burning hatred you held inside.

Taking in a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth, you started to pick at the dirt and rocks in the ground. “I was four when mama died.” You breathed out. “I didn’t know that’s what it was. Just thought she was nappin’, y’know? She’d always seemed so… tired.” You faintly turned to face Arthur. “Was like she lost her light.” A soft chuckle filled the moment. “Guess in the end… she did, huh?”

”I’m… Listen, I-”

”You wanna know how she died, Arthur?” You were facing him now, your face calm yet the grip you had on a spare rock from the ground said otherwise. “She used the exact mechanisms my father’s usin’ right now.” You turned your attention to the rock in your hands, fingers nimbly toying with it. “Turns out, you know, that she didn’t want a child. She wanted to be free… but was tied down because of me—and dad? Oh, well, he had his teachings to do. No, he could never come home on time or spend some moments with his only kid.” You tossed the rock away from you, your eyes narrowing to keep yourself at bay. “Don’t think he wanted a child either.”

”Now that ain’t true.” Arthur interjected before flinching slightly at your glare yet not faltering. “I dunno about your mama but Reverend loves you.”

”If he loved me then why the hell are we out here having to look for his sorry ass?!” You yelled, getting up from your spot and walking away a few steps. “If he loved me then why was he never there for me? When men would be lookin’ at me weirdly, or when kids would hurt me ‘cause I only had one parent? What about when I was almost kidnapped ‘cause his dumbass had a damn “meeting” to go too, huh?”

Arthur got up too with his hands held up in surrender as he took careful steps towards you. “Easy now. It’s okay. You’re okay.” But his words fell on deaf ears as you let your pent up emotions explode inside you.

”I was six when I learned what death was. I tried killin’ myself, then tried again a few months later. I was eight when I tried to talk to him only for him to push me away. I was nine when I ran away before comin’ back. It’s funny, you know, ‘cause it was like he didn’t notice I was gone.” You swallowed down the sob that desparely wanted to come out, instead letting whimpers leave your mouth. “I was fourteen when I realized he didn’t care for me. He never did, he only worries about himself—if you can even call whatever he’s doin’, “worrying”.”

You furiously wiped at your eyes, teeth eating away at your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying more. “Arthur. Arthur, I’m bein’ honest when I say this,” you took in a shaky breath, “I’ve dreamt of killin’ him. I’ve always felt free when I did it, too. It felt so refreshin’ to me. Was like chains were melted off and I could finally run again. It’s a feelin’ I chase after every time we have to look for him.”

When you looked up at Arthur with those vulnerable eyes, he was at a loss for words. He thinks back to his own memories of you being that happy-go-lucky kid he grew up with and felt his chest tighten. So was that all a facade so you could hide away your pain? How had he not noticed to sooner? Did anyone else know? Dutch? Hosea? You were close to those two but… did you ever really let them in?

”I’m… I’m sorry, I…” Those were not the words he wanted to say. Truly, he didn’t know what to say. He knew Swanson was not an ideal father but this—this is how you were treated? How you lived your life? “I don’t… know what to say.”

”No one ever does.”

After a short pause, Arthur felt his own anger begin to form when your died down. “Why the hell do we still keep him ‘round then? If he’s like this to you, then why don’t we just get rid of him? You’re the only one we really need. You hunt, fish, and you can even haggle someone almost as well as Hosea! He doesn’t do shit-”

”Arthur, I thank you for feelin’ my anger for me but it’s… I hate him, I do, but it’s more complex than that.” Now you felt bad for pulling your friend along with your emotions. You should’ve kept your mouth shut like you always had, only showing anger when it was just you and your dad alone.

Huffing, Arthur let his hands hold onto his belt as he leaned on his foot. “Well… we got all the time in the world for you to talk.”

While you dried off your wet face with your sleeve, you tried to formulate the correct words. “It’s… hard to explain. If he’s gone then… I’ll have no more blood-family. ‘Nd despite everythin’, well, he still let me go with him to join Dutch when he could’ve left me.” You voice trailed off, your eyes straying from the looks Arthur was giving you. “I-I know, okay? It’s idiotic for me to feel like this even after all that’s happened but I just—I can’t leave him to fend for himself. He lost his wife, ‘nd now I’m all that he has. Even if we don’t talk…”

”I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” Arthur muttered as he took steps towards you. “I ain’t ever been in your boots so I guess I can’t say much but,” cautiously, he put his arms around you, “if you ever want his ass gone, just say so. Or if you… if you wanna leave ‘nd let him stay with the gang then… that’s alright. Just tell me beforehand, okay? I’d be mighty down if you up and left without a goodbye.”

You nodded your head while you returned the hug. Your eyelids stung and your body felt heavy from your outbursts of emotions, though you couldn’t deny how safe you felt right at this moment.

Closing your eyes, you let yourself get lost in the feeling of being openly loved by someone you held dear to you.

Arthur had been your first since you were first welcomed to the gang and a side of you berated yourself for keeping silent from him for so long. Still, within these moments, you felt alright. You felt… free. “I won’t leave. Not when I have someone like you lookin’ out for me.” You tried to bury yourself deep into his chest, wanting to stay with this comfort for much longer. Softly, you whispered out, “Thank you.”

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oblio-k · 5 years

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ANYWAYS ive been working on a mila fic whenever im exhausted and here it is. whether it’s love or manipulation is up to the readers

Invitation

As Mila pulls a weed from the little garden she’s started behind her employer's mansion, she finds it hard to keep her mind from wandering. From thinking about how her life is so different now.

She forces herself to use the word different because if she uses another word she fears she may start crying. And if that happens, someone would undoubtedly see her, and her employer would take her aside and ask her if she was alright in a way that would sound kind but could drag any answer out of her that he wanted. She likes working for him and vastly prefers this life, this job to her old one. Crying will just make things difficult.

Master Tain had been cruel and treated her as if she was nothing if he noticed that she existed at all. She’d been on the receiving end of his wrath quite frequently and had been left with bruises more than she cared to admit.

Agent Tain is cruel, but never to her. To her, he’s careful and kind, respectful. He goes out of his way to spend time with her and never raises a hand to her. When he looks at her, he doesn’t look through her, and she’s glad to be acknowledged.

She knows he’s only so kind because she knows who he really is. Who he isn’t, rather. But she likes to think it’s also because they’re friends. Or, at least, are becoming friends.

But when she looks at him when he’s working, she’s reminded of how they met, and she can’t stop her hands from trembling just a bit. Before meeting Agent Tain, she’d only ever seen people die from old age or illness. She’d never seen people be murdered. She’d never seen people be or had been interrogated, never had to learn how to use a weapon-

“Miss Garak.”

When she stands and turns, Enabran is behind her. At first, his ability to sneak up on her, to appear out of nowhere, had scared her. Now, it still frightens her, but she doesn’t worry he will hurt her. He’s had so many opportunities to get rid of her, to eliminate the last person besides his superiors that knew his secret, but he’s never taken them. She is alive and unharmed, save for a scratch on her palm from a tool she’d grabbed the wrong end of while gardening.

Before she can greet him, she sees the wound cutting across his abdomen. It’s as if someone had slashed him with a sharp knife. One hand presses tightly against the large wound, like he’s keeping himself from spilling open, though it does nothing to stop the flow of blood. A smaller puncture wound by his clavicle bleeds profusely. She forces herself to get over her shock after looking at each injury and takes his free arm around her shoulders. He leans against her and she helps him inside.

It’s not the first time he’s come to her with injuries, and she can never tell if he is in pain. Enabran is silent as they walk to the master bedroom, and his breathing is steady. It’s not typical for an Obsidian Order agent to appear immune to any injury, from what she’s overheard and seen.

She’s not entirely sure she knows why that is. Mila suspects he’s not a normal agent, that these assassination and interrogation attempts come so frequently because he is proof of something his superiors would very much like to erase.

He sits on the edge of his bed and she washes the dirt from her hands and retrieves the medical kit he has hidden away. It takes a moment for the wall panel to open when she lets it scan her palm, and when she turns around, Enabran is pulling off his bloodied, torn shirt. There are no wounds on his back, and he lies down as she opens up the kit next to him.

Mila doesn’t understand why he trusts her. Still, she dutifully heals him and when the medical scanner picks up an odd substance in his system, she asks, “Have you been poisoned, sir?”

“It’s a truth serum,” he replies, an odd smile on his face. His voice is completely level, as if he hadn’t almost bled to death. “A very strong one.”

“But it doesn’t work on you.”

“Of course it d-doesn’t.” His voice cracks, and he closes his eyes. But he’s too late to hide it when she’s looking directly at him. His pupils dilate. Bizarrely, he begins to laugh. “Why would it work? I’m Cardassian.”

It means something, that. An inside joke that she’s not privy to the context of. But Enabran glances at her, an invitation for her to investigate. He won’t be upset if she finds out what that means- he wants her to, she’s almost sure. The secret she knows could destroy everything he’s worked for, what’s another?

“Miss Garak, are you finished?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thank you. Would you get me a cup of tea?” Master Tain had never thanked anyone. Agent Tain never thanked anyone unless he was manipulating them, and even then, only rarely. Enabran always thanks her. She likes to think it’s genuine. He rubs his eyes as she turns, and sits up.

He has a small tea set in his bedroom, a little burner and a few boxes of the different teas he’s collected on his travels. It’s an indulgence of his, and he’ll get a distant look in his eyes for a moment when she hands the cup to him.

She’s thrilled and worried about noticing and knowing these little details about him. It’s an exposure of that part of him from before.

A weakness he would cease if she dared to point it out.

“Make a cup for yourself,” he adds.

“Yes, sir.”

She picks an herbal blend with a pleasant taste she knows will help with his recovery and help relax her nerves. Blood still isn’t something she’s very used to, especially not large quantities of it. Perhaps in a few years, it won’t faze her.

A few years. She’ll be lucky if he lets her live that long, and she’s not sure what she’s feeling when she realizes she only ever thinks about her future being here, serving him.

By the time the tea is done, he’s changed into fresh clothing, a garish orange turtleneck covered by a drab green shirt, with black pants that don’t match the rest of the outfit at all. Fashion is not something he’s good at, but then again, he seems to be good at everything if asked. She’s sure if she requested it, and he was so inclined, he could choose an outfit fitting of his position as heir to the Tain fortune.

As he takes the cup from her and doesn’t even check it for poison, she thinks to herself that he would very likely be inclined to do what she asked. But she won’t. She knows her place.

“Miss Garak, how is your garden?”

“It’s doing quite well. My brother sent me some seeds to try growing, and they’ve finally begun to sprout.”

“Tolan, correct?”

“Yes, sir.” She’d never told him her brother’s name before. “I’m afraid I’ll never quite meet his skill for flowers.”

“I never understood why people enjoy flowers so much.”

“They’re beautiful. People like to look at nice things.” He opens his mouth to say something and hesitates. Perhaps the truth serum is affecting him more than he wants to admit, though she doesn’t know what he could possibly say about flowers that he wouldn’t want anyone to hear. She asks a question that she thinks will be inconsequential, “If there’s anything you would like to see in the garden, I would plant it for you.”

“No. I’m sure whatever you grow will look beautiful.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Though perhaps you should grow more edible plants than flowers. It’s been quite some time since I was last able to eat something that I’d picked myself.” That distant look. Then his pupils grow large and he looks down at his tea as he says, “When I was a boy, my caretakers would take me on walks around the estate grounds after I’d finished my studies for the morning. We’d eat from the garden until lunch was ready. It was nice.” They’re as wide as she’s ever seen on anyone as he finishes.

Before she can offer her own story about her and her brother enjoying fruits and vegetables from their father’s garden, he asks her, “Miss Garak, do you know how to play kotra?”

“I’m familiar with the title, not with the rules,” Mila answers, dropping the sir to see what he hopes to gain by teaching a servant a complicated game.

A smile tugs at his lips, and he gets up and pretends not to have noticed. “It’s a game I quite enjoy. I believe you would be a good player.” He retrieves a board from within his desk and brings back to the bed. “I was taught how to play when I was young.”

She expects to find a knife at her throat in an hour, then. “I don’t expect you to play any way but your best, sir, despite my inexperience.”

“Kotra is a game about bold tactical strategy…”

Sure enough, after having quickly lost two games against him and arguing with him after she realized he was allowing her to win their third match, a disruptor is pressed against her throat, her wrists held tight in his other hand. She hadn’t even seen him grab it.

“I think I need to get back to work, Miss Garak,” he tells her, voice cold.

Enough was enough. He couldn’t risk appearing close to her so soon after an incident. Quietly, she agrees, but he doesn’t let her go.

“You understand, don’t you, Mila?” It was too dangerous for them to be friends. To be whatever they were. Mila wonders which one of them he’s afraid for.

After all, why should he care if something happens to her? Attachment was a weakness. He’d said so himself to another agent, and for once, she was absolutely certain he had been honest. “Yes, sir.”

It’s even more likely that he’s not worried at all, that all this is a game to keep her quiet. Still, she enjoyed their time together and will look forward to the next, if it comes.

Agent Tain releases her, lowering the disruptor.

#uhh warnings for blood and injury and tain being absolutely drugged i guess? though its not like. graphic about those things #ds9 #enabran tain #mila garak #star trek #oblio's fics

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ariesbilly · 6 years

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Tell me more about FP and Hiram fucking at the Halloween party because hermione was going out with fred!!!!

one of you just… had to ask… fortunately for you i already have the night mapped out. also i never specified it was halloween but ya know… tis the season so imagine what you want. anyway.

it starts off with fp standing back somewhere sulking and watching fred and hermione flirt with each other all night and kiss and touch etc and he’s clearly visibly upset and no longer into this whole party situation. cue hiram coming up behind him and following his line of sight and he scoffs, makes a comment about how pathetic fps being to which fp responds “please. like youre not sitting here plotting your revenge on fred”

hiram puts on his best cars salesman smile and says “actually ive got other plans. got some candy upstairs if you’re interested. it’s fresh.” which is code for hiram went into the city that week to pick up more coke and its the good shit.

now, fp isnt really that much of a partier when it comes to anything stronger than weed. sure, he partakes from time to time but in general its not really his thing. but he takes one look up and sees fred with his tongue shoved so far down hermiones throat he doesnt know how either one of them is still breathing and he thinks fuck it. might as well make the best of a shitty situation. so he downs the rest of his beer and follows hiram upstairs.

theyre a couple of lines in and fps got a good high going when hiram starts talking about fred and hermione and what they must be up to right now and fp does not want to hear about this.

“dont you have anything better to talk about? better yet, how about you just dont talk at all.”

“what, youre still acting like it doesnt bother you?”

“it doesnt”

“liar.”

and fine. fp’s lying. but he’s not about to admit that to hiram so instead he gives a half assed “thanks for the drugs” and makes for the door.

but then hirams grabbing his shoulder and telling him to wait, crowds in to fps space which is really hilarious considering fps got a significant amount of height on hiram but he’s too high right now to think about that, also apparently at some point hirams hand has ended up on his crotch so... he’s a little distracted.

hirams massaging fp through his jeans and talking about how its not fair that fred and hermione get to have all the fun and they should be allowed a little something too, is taunting fp with “theyre probably already in the bathroom down the hall as we speak. hermione on her knees... sucking fred off...”

and next thing hiram knows fps growling and spinning him around, bending him over on the desk and hiram has got the biggest shit-eating grin on his face cuz he knows he just fucking won. says “thats more like it” as he hears fp behind him undoing his belt and hirams scrambling with his own.

fp fumbles around with the condom, asks hiram where he keeps his lube and reaches over into the desk drawer to retrieve it.

theres a moment of hesitation on fps part where asks hiram if he’s done this before because for as much as he cant stand the guy, a coke fueled quickie probably isnt the best way to be introduced to anal and fps got a conscience ok?

but hiram scoffs and says “you wish” and fp rolls his eyes but he’s got all the confirmation he needs to keep going so... he does.

admittedly he probably couldve spent some more time loosening hiram up but they both know what theyve gotten themselves into and hiram wasnt complaining so.... it was what it was.

which was hard and fast and angry.

when it was all said and done and they were tucking themselves back in to their pants, fp couldnt help but feel guilty, which really pissed him off because did fred ever feel guilty about sleeping with half of their graduating class? no.

but hiram still had that goddamn smile on his face like he was up to trouble.

fp couldnt deal with it anymore. he felt gross. he needed to go home and shower.

hiram followed and as soon as fp opened the door to step out into the hallway he ran right into none other than... you guessed it... fred and hermione.

everybody was at a standstill. fred knows what a post-sex fp looks like, as does hermione with hiram, so it wasnt hard for them to clock what just happened. fp wouldnt meet freds eyes. fred actually had the nerve to look betrayed, and then pissed when he looked over fps shoulder to hiram standing behind him. hermione was just confused as to why and how this happened and hiram looked like he just won the goddamn lottery.

fp mumbled something about going home and ducked downstairs as fast as he could and hiram simply said “great party, don’t you think?” before sauntering off without a care in the world.

oh and you can bet this led to a giant fight between the four of them. fred was pissed at hiram for sleeping with fp. hermione was pissed at fred for being pissed that fp slept with somebody else. fred and fp had a big ass fight about fp sleeping with hiram specifically. hiram and hermione didnt really get into a fight cuz like... they were technically broken up. although she did get mad that hirams whole game plan with fucking fp was just to get back at fred. everybodys so goddamn sloppy i love my kids.

#snakekingtm #theres a fic to be written here but i just cannot do it. maybe. one day when im older #fp jones #hiram lodge #foram #thats their ship name we're gonna deal with it #briana answers things

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vcnusc · 6 years

Text

hello it’s ur gal moose again !! i’m bringing the bitch back y’all w new face. if you want to plot HMU or LIKE THIS post and i’ll come to you !! more info abt this binch under the cut & u can peep her pinterest here.

—— wait, that’s not DOVE CAMERON! it’s VENUS CARLISLE who identifies as CISFEMALE. a TWENTY year old JUNIOR and a VICE PRESIDENT of CHI DELTA GAMMA. VENUS is MANIPULATIVE, SOCIABLE and studying PSYCHOLOGY. will SHE even have time to do anything else?

tw: illness, death, abuse, eating disorder & drug addiction !!

ok so !! venus grew up in nyc & she comes from money. her mom comes from old money whereas her father made his own fortune by being a cutthroat and cunning entrepreneur so her family has............a lot of money

her mom & her dad have 3 kids together (but her dad has a plethora of children from previous marriages) and she’s the middle child. she’s got an older brother, michael, who’s currently 25 and her younger brother dylan was born when she was 3.

none of the carlisle children were particularly close with their parents, who always seemed to be busy doing more important things than taking care of their children, but they’ve always been very close to each other.

illness & death tw !! the baby of the family, dylan, was diagnosed with brain cancer (medulloblastoma) when he was 8 years old and.....it was rly hard for the family as u can imagine. he was in and out of the hospital constantly, going through various treatments. sometimes they would work for a little while and sometimes they would do nothing. they found the best doctors they could and put a ton of money into surgeries and treatment for dylan but all the money in the world couldn’t save him and he passed away when he was only 13 years old.

venus adored her little brother so her whole world just........came crashing down around her after he died. she was hurting but no one wanted to talk about it. her parents basically avoided the entire issue, keeping themselves busy with work to avoid coming home to see an empty seat at the dinner table and an empty bed at night.

she didn’t rly get to experience her teenage years the way she should have bc she was a bit of a shut in after her brother died. she didn’t want to talk to anyone or go out shopping or go to parties or be with her friends. she was fucking depressed and she could barely get out of bed most of the time.

to this day she still is.....not fully comfortable with the death of her brother and she doesn’t like to talk about it. her parents forced her into therapy but she didn’t want to go so the bitch just gave up eventually. she still hasn’t really had the chance to properly grieve the loss of her brother and it’s fucked her up lowkey.

she kind of fell into a shitty crowd in high school, which was quite a shock to the people that knew venus. she used to be this cute happy little girl with nothing but love to give but......she lost that p quickly when she realized how unfair life was.

drug use tw !! she was only sixteen when she started using drugs and drinking heavily. it provided an escape from the reality she found too painful and shitty to bear. she’s tried just about anything you can think of at least once, but her preferred drugs of choice are cocaine and mdma. it wasn’t long before she couldn’t go a day without getting high or itching for her next fix. she went to rehab for her coke problem for the first time when she was 17 but she started using again almost immediately as soon as she got out. she is......basically a shame to her family & they avoid talking about this issue at all costs, choosing to pretend it doesn't exist

she kind of cleaned up her act a bit in her senior year of high school. not in the sense that she drank or got high less, but she kind of ditched the skid crowd to hang out with all of her old friends again. it was all a cover though, to make it seem like she had gotten better and she was healthy and happy again when really.............she was more depressed and miserable than ever.

abuse & eating disorder tw !! it was at this time that she started dating the love of her life, jackson. she felt head over heels for him almost instantly. he was charming and handsome and kind and anything anyone could hope for in a boyfriend. but their relationship was only perfect from afar and eventually at some point during their relationship, jackson revealed that he wasn’t exactly the person she thought he was. he was controlling and manipulative. he wouldn’t let venus do or wear certain things and he’d constantly be checking her phone and social media. he was....pretty much in control of her life and because he had her utterly convinced that he was the only person who would ever love her despite how fucked up she was, she fell into the trap and let him do all that stuff. even when he hit her and started fights she still stayed, partially because she was afraid of what he would do if she left and partially because she believed everything he told her. the subtle emotional abuse was one of the factors that led to the development of an eating disorder.

they had a plan to go to college together and move in with one another but he ended up dumping her right before graduation, leaving her a wreck tbh. buT once he was gone she realized how awful he was, something she was blind to before

in her attempt to leave everything from new ny life behind, she chose to go to school in hawaii to be........far away from everyone and everything

okaY that was a lot but....here’s some more abt just her personality

she’s sad as fuck truly

definitely NOT a nice girl. doesn’t want to get close to anyone unless she has to?? and when she does get close to ppl it’s usually so she can manipulate them in some way or bc she wants to Use them

keeps “friends” around to make her feel wanted and important and make her feel better about herself

rough around the edges. no time for fuck boys but at the same time.........would probably fuck anyone because she wants to be wanted LMAO

like she is very outwardly aggressive & annoyed when ppl hit on her but then will text them at 2am to be like come over

10000% a party bitch. catch her getting fucked uP at every single party

will talk to anyone but also....still hates most ppl

some more info !!!!

she rly doesn’t need to be in school ??? like she doesn’t need a career bc she’s got money from her parents. she doesnt even give a fuck about psychology but.....she figured might as well go to college anyway

doesnt care if she does well she’s just here to fuck around and party

what she actually rly loves is music!!!!!! she has a very lovely singing voice and can play a couple of instruments. she started writing music as an outlet after her brother died & it’s just been something she’s been in love with ever since. lowkey tho

she always looks...........amazing tbH. the last thing she wants is for ppl to see how dead inside she is so she’s always dressed to the 9s. perfect makeup, flawless hair, killer outfit, sky high heels, u know. you’ll never catch her in sweatpants or with a single hair out of place

she’s on the cheer squad & she plays volleyball!!!!

loves yoga & does a lot of pilates as well. she’s fit af but......lowkey thinks her body is disgusting lmao

rly doesn’t believe she is worthy of love so she’s just.........out here trying to have a good time and pretend everything is a-okay even though she is.............................still dying inside sahfdjskfjd

wanted connections!!!

everything tbh. a REAL friend, maybe. exes, fwbs/hook ups, people she manipulates, ppl she parties with, a drug dealer, enemies, fake friends, i want it All.

#we can ofc keep old plots too if we already plotted w her earlier !!!!!! just lmk #luaintro

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