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rubra-wav · 2 months

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Hello! I saw asks were open and I wanted to drop a request! What if Husk, Angeldust, and Alastor (separate) had a s/o who revealed that they could break deals on their (the collared's) end given some time?

Husk, Angel Dust and Alastor with a Dealbreaker S/O

[Part 2]

A/N: Alastor's is written as purely platonic tho per my personal boundaries

My Hazbin OC actually is a powerful Dealbreaker, so I'm going off of the lore I've thought up on this topic for him haha

I will maybe write a part 2 where reader actually manages to break the contracts rather than just saying they could.

CW: Sfw, angsty asf in places, reference to addiction, mention/reference to violence, Angel's touches a bit more on abuse response/trauma response type stuff, body/ horror imagery in Alastor's (Alastor being the creature he is basically)

Husk

- Husk would not believe you at all at first.

- He would be tending the bar and then stop mid-drying a glass as a heartbreaking hint of hope (the first hope he'd felt in centuries) passes over his face for a second before crumpling and turning to extreme bitterness.

- "That's not funny." He'd growl through grit teeth at you, thinking it was some kind of cruel joke.

- When reassured that you are absolutely serious, he gives you more of a look of almost pity, sighing as if deeply tired.

- He tells you that multiple people have told him the same thing over the years, and that they have all failed just the same.

- All skilled people who were known to be able to break even soul ownership deals wide open.

- The leash Alastor had on him was air-tight.

- He basically tells you it would be a giant waste of time and that you should give up and focus your time on something better then a poor old sinner like himself.

- When you don't back down from the discouragement, he sighs again, but feels warmth burning in his chest at the fact you wanted to help him so badly.

- He's not hopeful, but he wants to have faith in you even if he's trying to discourage you and scare you straight as much as possible.

- He wants so badly to be free so he can be with you without any limits of his commitment to you and only you. To not have to think about whether he's going to be summoned to some bullshit getup again whenever Alastor gets bored of the Hazbin Hotel.

- Deep down he's absolutely desperate for you to succeed in your mission.

- He wants the catalyst for his alcohol problem to go away so he can live and finally actually be happy without the heaviness of his deal weighing on him at all times, making him desperately need the escape.

- He absolutely will tell you very very seriously to not to let this slip that you're doing this to anybody though - or talk about this in a place you aren't absolutely confident doesn't have any certain member of the hotel listening in.

- Husk doesn't think that Alastor would harm you physically over this, that asshole would probably just find it amusing. However.

- Husk's worst fear would be you trying to get him his soul back by signing away yours, something very possible Alastor would offer as a trick.

- He'd be skeptical, fearful of you succumbing to a deal with Alastor, and not very hopeful at all as he's tried time and time again to break the contract on his soul. You are so... optimistic that you'll find a way, but again, his collar is air-tight. You'll have your work cut out for you breaking the deal of someone who's notoriously a dealmaker.

Angel Dust

- When you tell him that, he tenses up with a sharp inhale of breath, a complete 180 from how he just was seconds before, winding down from his night in his hotel room with you.

- Angel's deal would be logically way more easier to break. However, what Valentino's deal doesn't directly hold of Angel, the moth's manipulation keeps him stuck imprisoned under him.

- Angel absolutely would have thought of contacting a dealbreaker, however never actually would due to how terrified he is. If it turned out one of those people were a mole for Val trying to catch him out, Angel would be in so much pain from the punishment that that would entail. You cannot trust someone claiming to be a dealbreaker in hell isn't lying to you through their teeth.

- When he realises you are absolutely serious though, and obviously confident in your abilities, a myriad of harsh emotions pass across Angel's face. Fear (for both his and your safety), and hope made themselves the most apparent.

- Fear of what Val would do to him if he ever found out about this conversation. What he'd do to you.

- Valentino was certainly not above hurting people to get his way. Angel knew that better then anybody. But if Val ever caught wind that Angel's secret lover behind the scenes was trying to steal away Val's biggest money maker and favourite toy, he'd kill you. Straight up.

- That fear was there and was deeply terrifying to him. But so was the hope. A flurry of hope that fills him with relief and brings tears pricking at his eyes at the idea that he could actually be free of his captor and go do whatever you two decide and be fully happy without fear of Val.

- Live with you not as Angel Dust, but as Anthony. Completely his real, authentic self.

- "How." He whispers breathlessly.

- You tell him that you need to see the contract itself, analyse all the ins and outs and come up with a counter-contract.

- There would be a few ways you could actually break the deal from there, and although they would be time consuming and possibly (very much probably) dangerous, you were confident you could break him out.

- Angel would be extremely fearful, but also hopeful. You seem confident in your ability as his contract is messy and poorly crafted. He's reassured as you say that what's mostly chaining him down is the psychological control Val has over him.

Alastor

- When you tell Alastor this, I feel he could respond two ways depending on how you've learnt that information.

If he hasn't told you himself:

- If he hasn't told you this or doesn't know how you've found out, he's going to be absolutely pissed. At you and probably Husk (assuming Husk told you)

- He'd turn towards you with jerky, unnatural movements, bones and joints cracking loudly in a cringe worthy way. Overhead, the lights would be flickering as static begins to fill your head.

- Towering over you, he'd be still bent in that weird position as he grips sharpened claws into your shoulders. Your friendship is the only thing keeping him from making you nothing more then a stain on the wall.

- "Who told you about that."

- When you tell how you've found out, he likely let's out a chuckle dripping with anger that makes you want to cover your ears as the sound scrapes into them. "And what makes you think you could do what even I cannot?"

- He has analysed every single last clause, letter, meaning of the words used, every possible loophole in his contract to the point it's driven him to have multiple psychological breakdowns. To him there is no doubt in his mind at all that he's completely fucked by the contract he was tricked into and there's no chance in hell that you would ever be able to even assist.

- When you push and say that you want to do this for him, he's not even a little flattered at all, in fact, it bruises his ego massively that you'd have the audacity to confidently imply you could do what he's worked so hard to for 7 years.

- In instance one, he's incredibly pissed off at you for claiming you could ever undo his contract after learning about it from someone other then him, so angry he almost kills you. Leaves you alone shaking and afraid in the hall telling you not to say anything to anybody else about his deal, and to never so flagrantly exaggerate your own worth so massively again. Your prior confidence stamped down to embers.

If you are close enough of a person to him that he's confided in you about his collar however:

- He'd just chuckle, calling it cute that you thought you could do that while walking away.

- You miss the way his eye twitches.

- He'd still be incredibly angry about it, but due to not being surprised you knew of his biggest secret, he'd hide it much better.

- Continues to laugh when you insist you can do it, and would passive aggressively respond about how you should not overestimate your abilities and mind your own business essentially.

- Again, he's pissed off and his ego is bruised about it. But this time, he's hiding it behind his smile and is passive aggressive as fuck about it rather then outwardly aggressive. He won't let you know how much you've actually gotten to him even though he would have let his walls down to some extent to ever tell you that.

A/N I was actually already planning a fully written x reader fic that's not just the dot points with Angel at some point where reader saves him from his contract, so like... Maybe I'll do full fics for dealbreaking Husk and Alastor's contracts as well because I'm kind of interested in exploring a fic w them after writing this now

(I'm probably gonna say this then eat shit via the universe straight after lmfao 💀)

#hazbin hotel #husk x reader #hazbin hotel husk #angel dust x reader #hazbin angel dust #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #this was actually so cool to write thank you for requesting this one

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bahablastplz · 16 days

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Snap: Minho x Reader x Jisung

After your boyfriend decides to punish you by not touching you for two weeks, you take matters into your own hands. There's one way to make him snap, and that is Han Jisung. Content: Smut. That's it. Warnings: Heavy degradation, humiliation, p in v sex, unprotected sex, cum eating, fingering, dom/sub dynamics, choking, complicated feelings WC: 3500

You should have known not to test your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend Minho is one of the best things that has ever happened to you. He is sweet, kind, forgiving, and so so patient with you.

Ever since you have been dating, he has done an amazing job to make sure you feel loved, whether that be through smaller gestures like baking food with you or writing notes, or buying you flowers and taking you out on the best dates of your life. He is thoughtful and caring, and you both love each other very much.

The other great thing about Minho is this other side of the world he has helped you to explore… sexually, that is. He introduced you to the world of doms and subs and your relationship has absolutely thrived on that dynamic. Because for that gentle, loving and caring boyfriend that you get to see during the day… you also get to see the exact opposite. Minho, who will take no bullshit. Minho, who can edge you for hours on end and knows exactly which buttons to push to get you to fall apart for him. Minho, who can wrap his hand around your throat and whisper the filthiest, most vulgar things in your ears to try to get you to submit to him.

Lee Minho, your boyfriend, is an enigma. Better yet, he is yours.

Which is why you know that you can get away with pushing him to his limits the same way that he pushes you to yours.

That’s sort of how you got yourself into your current situation.

Because, maybe one day you decided to push him, and he might have caught you touching yourself in your bed when you weren’t supposed to. And when he tried to give you your punishment, you had an orgasm without his permission. Fast forward to your new punishment: He hasn’t touched you in two weeks.

Sometimes, you feel like your boyfriend has turned you into a sex-craved machine. But, who can blame you? It’s not your fault that your boyfriend has a body sculpted by the Gods and an even sexier personality. You swore on your life you would never beg and be desperate for a man. And then came Minho.

During the past two weeks, you have felt absolutely deprived and horny out of your goddamn mind. He knew it, too. He saw the way that you would squeeze your legs together whenever he sat next to you, the way you would squirm, the way that your eyes would get blown out and your breathing heavy… and he didn’t even have to touch you. It was a mind game, and you were losing badly.

So, that’s how you came up with your awful idea; push Minho to the breaking point and watch him snap. It was a win/win, really. Not only would your punishment end, but maybe you could get him angry enough to have the rough, hard, toe-curling sex you’ve been craving. You just needed to wait for the right opportunity… and it practically fell into your lap.

Movie night with Han Jisung.

Jisung is Minho’s best friend. The two are practically inseparable, bonded with a connection deeper than words could describe. Of course, Jisung was at one point one of your best friends as well, as he was the one that introduced you to your boyfriend in the first place. That’s how you know that the way to get to Minho is through Jisung.

It started with making dinner, the three of you. It’s a weekly tradition, Friday nights eating homemade dinner and watching cheesy movies. This week is your pick, too. It was almost like all of the pieces of the puzzle were coming together.

You laugh at Jisung’s jokes. Of course, Minho laughs too, but you make a point to laugh harder than you should, slapping your hand onto his shoulder. “Jisung, you are so funny,” you laugh. “I forgot how funny you are. We should hang out more!”

That causes the man to let out a shy chuckle, throwing his hand behind his head sheepishly. You look over at your boyfriend and smile at him brightly.

That night, you make sure to leave lingering touches on Jisung’s body. You reach into the popcorn bowl at the same time as him, grazing his knuckles with your fingers. You swipe a piece of stray hair behind his ear. You even drape your legs across his lap completely during the movie. It always leads to a light laugh from him and a blush that spreads across his cheeks, his eyes flickering to Minho’s for approval. Of course, Minho was never looking at him.

He was looking at you.

His eyes bore into yours all night, eyes hard and mouth set into a straight line. You really, truly couldn’t tell what he was thinking. But you make a show of looking at him for a reaction every time and smiling at him with big, bright eyes.

That night, for your movie choice you made sure to pick the raunchiest, sexiest chick flick that you could find. So of course, when a sex scene started playing you shifted your position. Switching the direction of your body, you put your legs on Minho’s lap and your head on Jisung’s thigh, looking up at him with a bright smile. You admire his bright red cheeks, obviously flushed from the situation at hand.

“Isn’t this a good movie, Sungie?” You giggle, nustling your head against his thigh. That is the breaking point.

Minho’s hand reaches across the table, snatching the remote. The TV turns off, causing you and Jisung to turn your heads to look at him.

“Enough,” he said in a low timbre.

“What?” you ask innocently. That’s when Minho grabbed the flesh of your thigh hard, kneading the muscle. You gasp when he does so, not expecting the action. His hand trails higher and cups your clothed pussy.

That was something else… you had put on one of the most revealing outfits you owned, clad with a tight tank-top and miniskirt. This gives Minho easy access to slip his hand right where you need him most.

“Minho, what are you–”

“Shhh. If you’re going to act like a needy slut, then you’re going to fucking take it.” Your face goes completely red. While you were expecting him to snap, you thought he was going to drag you to your room and fuck the shit out of you. Not in the living room, while your head rests on Jisung’s lap.

Your eyes shoot up to Jisung’s, who has been staring at you unabashedly this whole time. When your eyes meet, he clears his throat.

“Um… I should probably go,” he says, making to stand up.

“Don’t.” Minho’s voice is sharp, causing you both to freeze. At the same time, he slides your panties to the side and thrusts a finger into your core, causing your body to rock back into Jisung. You let out a loud moan–after weeks, you’re finally getting the contact you’ve been desperately craving. Jisung’s hands make way to your shoulders, holding you in place as he looks at Minho.

“You’re gonna act like you haven’t been loving my girlfriend touching up on you and flirting with you all night? God, it’s so obvious, Sungie,” he laughs, continuing his ministrations and now thrusting two finger in and out of your sopping core. “She’s been acting like a needy, desperate slut for us, though, so I think we should treat her like one, yeah?”

Jisung gulps. “We? Minho, I–”

“You want to fuck her, Sungie? You can fuck her tight cunt, she’ll love it, too. And when you’re done, I’m gonna fuck her harder… I’m gonna fuck her better and fill her up so she knows who her pussy really belongs to.” You moan at his words, squirming around trying to get away from the way his fingers bully into your cunt.

“Please… Jisung,” you say, looking up at him. “Want you to fuck me, too.” And you truly do. You can see the way your boyfriend is getting off on it, the way that he wants to prove to you that he is better. Somehow you could just tell that he wasn’t bothered in the slightest.

“Yeah, okay. Fuck,” Jisung breaths.

“Pull down her shirt,” Minho instructs. Jisung immediately follows his directions, as if in a trance, revealing your bare chest to the two men. “Play with her nipples. Pinch them, she likes that.” The feeling of Jisung’s thumbs pinching and pulling harshly against your nipples has you breathless and moaning, because this person touching you wasn’t your boyfriend. It felt so wrong, but with your boyfriend’s attention still on your leaking pussy and his eyes never leaving yours, it felt so right.

“Fuck, she’s clenching so tight on my fingers,” Minho tells Jisung. “She likes you playing with her, I can feel her getting close.”

“Yeah?” Jisung stares down and looks at your face, fucked out, and you look at him fucked out out of your mind. Lips parted and eyes glossy, your eyes didn’t leave his. He looked at you with utter adoration, never stopping his motions on your chest.

“Min, Min… Cumming, fuck,” you breath. Your boyfriend keeps a steady pace, finger fucking you right through your orgasm. As Jisung slows his pace, rubbing slower on your nipples, he pulls off with a harsh tug.

You sit up, putting your pressure on your arms as you look at Minho who slowly pulls his fingers out of your cunt. Revealing his fingers, he shows Jisung how soaked his fingers are.

“Want to taste her sweet cunt?” Minho asks with a devilish smirk. Jisung nods his head with doe eyes.

Minho reaches past your body and extends his hand to Jisung, offering the boy his two fingers. You watch as Jisung parts his lips, Minho sliding the appendage inside. You clench your thighs together at the loud slurping and soft whimper that this elicits from his mouth, eyes shut as he tastes your release. Minho’s gaze hardens, watching him with predatory eyes. When he pulls his fingers out from his mouth, a long string of saliva connects his fingers to Jisung’s mouth, dripping down onto your bare chest. The action makes both you and Jisung moan softly.

Minho stands, maneuvering your body to the position he wants you in. He puts you on your hands and knees on the couch, ass up and hanging over the edge for easy access. He pulls your underwear down around your knees but keeps the skirt on, opting to flip it up over your body instead. You feel used like this, shirt bunched down around your waist and panties not even fully off your body yet.

“Come fuck her pussy,” Minho says to Jisung. He stands up fast, moving behind you to position himself at your entrance. Here he has a full view of your cunt, still soaked and glistening from your release. He lets out a shaky breath and looks at Minho for permission, who stands over you and looks down at you. You look up at him almost pathetically, giving him a weak smile. He smirks at you, practically cooing as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Go on,” he says, his voice suddenly turning sharp as he addresses Jisung. “I’m not going to tell you twice.”

You don’t see Jisung pull his pants down but you feel him poke at your entrance, his tip leaking as he rubs it up and down your folds. You rock your hips back, desperate for the pressure, and hiss when he finally enters you. As soon as he does, he stills, breathing heavy behind you.

“Fuck… so tight,” he says, more to Minho than to you. He gives a cat-like smirk and gestures for the boy to continue. And so Jisung starts, slowly rocking his hips into you. He grinds up against your ass each time, a grip bruising right on your hips.

Minho sits down on the couch now in front of you. Here he can look right into your eyes, his gaze harsher than you had ever seen before.

“Look at you getting your slutty pussy fucked by my friend,” he coos. It feels condescending, and you tilt your head down to look toward the couch when you feel his fingers underneath your chin. He pulls you up to meet his eyes, fingers pinching your cheeks to part your mouth open for him. “Do you know how long he’s been waiting to fuck you for? It’s almost pathetic. He’s wanted your sweet cunt for so long but he could never have it, could he?” You shake your head at him, and Jisung whines from behind you, increasing his pace.

As Jisung goes harder and you start approaching your release, you look up at Minho with tears pricking your eyes.

“Close?” He coos. You nod your head. “You gonna cum on his cock?”

“Please,” you grunt out. “Please Minho.”

“Go ahead, then.” And it's not until Minho brings your face to his in a wet, messy kiss that you finally finish. You moan into his mouth and he drinks it up, his tongue pushing against yours and into your mouth. Jisung becomes more vocal as well, whiny moans and heavy breathing as he fucks you through your orgasm.

Minho pulls you off of his lips harshly, looking at his friend behind you. Jisung looks absolutely wrecked and Minho knows it won’t take long to push him over his edge as well.

“Is her tight pussy clenching around you good?” He asks. He looks at his friend with a proud smirk. Jisung nods, eyes closed and head thrown back. “As good as you imagined? Wanna tell me how good her pussy feels?”

“S’good,” he says. “So warm and wet… so tight, fuck…”

Minho stands, walking over to Jisung. He lifts your skirt higher, revealing your bare ass to Jisung. “Go ahead and paint her ass, if you’re gonna cum,” he tells him.

And with a few more thrusts and a soft ‘fuck, fuck, fuck,’ he pulls out and covers your ass with him cum. You’re covered in it, as he came a lot, and it starts dripping down your body. Minho scoops some of Jisung’s release with two fingers and brings them to your mouth, your lips automatically parting for him. You lick it off of his fingers, looking at him. You’re floating into a soft subspace and he can see it, utterly and completely submissive for him now. You’re pliant and completely at his command. He looks down at you with dark eyes.

“My turn,” he says. Him and Jisung switch places, promptly. Jisung stares at you with wide eyes and watches your face, the way that you moan when Minho slips into you easily.

His pace is brutal from the start, his hips snapping into yours relentlessly, his thighs making a loud wet sound as they slap against the backs of yours. A hand grabs at your hair, yanking you upwards to look at Jisung; he gasps when he sees you, mouth wide open and tears streaming down your face as you let out a sob. It’s too much, the overstimulation, the way Minho’s long cock kisses your cervix at every thrust. And he uses the hand in your hair to control you, pulling you back onto his cock with his strong grip.

“Fuck…ing… pussy… so… good… for… me…,” Minho enunciates with every snap of his hips.

You’re babbling at this point, too far gone to form any coherent words. “Min… oh my… fuck,” you say. “Jisung, Sungie…” you cry out at one point, his eyes never leaving yours. Even though he’s no longer participating he still watches intently, his lips parted in a soft ‘o’.

“What are you calling his name for?” Minho taunts. “I’m the one fucking this cunt, not him. Are you so braindead that you don’t know who’s cock you’re calling out for?”

“No… Min,” you answer.

“Good, I’m gonna cum in this greedy pussy,” he says. “Only I can fill you up. Only I can breed your filthy cunt,” he says. “Say… fuck, say my name when you cum on my cock, baby.”

And you do, because your release comes out of nowhere. With a loud cry you’re calling, no, screaming his name, clenching around him impossibly tight. Your orgasm seems to last forever, and you know he can feel the way you’re spasming around him with every thrust.

When his hand snakes around and grabs the front of your throat, you know he’s close. His hand squeezes tight and you feel dizzy and light-headed, but this floaty feeling has you rolling your eyes to the back of your head in pleasure.

Minho must be completely gone now, no longer spewing filthy words. He doesn’t say anything as he finally cums inside, grabbing your hips so tight that it’s sure to leave a mark. He stills against you and you can feel his hot release flood you, his cock twitching as he grinds impossibly deeper into your ass, as if he were trying to get his cum as far into you as he can, as if he were trying to mark you as his.

When he releases his grip on you your body slumps onto the couch. Suddenly you’re weak all over and your body feels limp, vision starting to blur as you look up at Jisung. You notice a large wet stain on his pants, and you realize he must’ve cum again, simply from watching you get fucked within an inch of your life. You let out a soft chuckle and reach for his hand, your fingers weakly intertwining with his and giving him a soft squeeze.

Arms are scooping you up in an instant, and you open your eyes to see your boyfriend carrying you in his arms, bridal style.

“I’m going to get her into the bath,” he tells Jisung.

“Okay. I should… I’m probably going to leave,” he says, voice riddled with uncertainty.

“You don’t have to,” he replies. You can hear the softness in his tone, the fondness for his best friend coming through in his words. “You don’t have to,” he repeats.

And though he’s no longer using that domineering tone that had you and Jisung submitting to him in an instant, Jisung still listens to his words. You shoot Jisung a shy smile and wave your fingers at him as you’re carried off into the bathroom.

Minho is ever the attentive lover, humming as he sits next to you beside the tub. He scrubs your skin gently, rubbing soothing circles into your sore muscles. He pays careful attention when shampooing your hair, making sure not to get any of the soap into your eyes. Your boyfriend Minho is one of the best things that has ever happened to you. He is sweet, kind, forgiving, and so so patient with you. In this moment you’re reminded of that fact, and you feel a twinge of guilt when you’re reminded of the way you acted earlier.

“I’m sorry,” you say. It’s the first words you’ve spoken since after you had sex. They’re barely loud enough to hear, but you know your words haven’t fallen upon deaf ears when he lets out a soft sigh.

“You have nothing to apologize for, love,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry for dragging out your punishment for too long. I know you were trying to rile me up and get on my nerves… and it worked. Not for the reason that I thought though. I thought that… I thought that Jisung touching you would make me mad, but the more I thought about it… fuck, the thought of sharing with him what’s mine, to show him ‘this is my beautiful girlfriend that makes me feel so good…’ It was so hot, baby. And I wanted him to touch you. I wanted him to make you feel good, too. He looked so fucked out, and I liked that it was us that made him feel like that, y’know?”

You smile softly at him. “Min, can I ask you a question?”

He hums in response.

“Do you… have feelings for him?” He doesn’t meet your eye, and that’s all the answer that you need. You know that outloud, at least right now, he could never truly admit it, but he didn’t have to. “It’s okay,” you reassure. “Nobody’s faulting you if you do. We don’t have to talk about it right now, okay?”

Minho wraps you in a towel and dries your skin. His eyes are full of adoration for you. Before you walk into your bedroom, his lips meet yours in a soft kiss.

That night, the three of you fall asleep in your bed. There’s no discussion to be had about how this complicates your relationship. There’s no words exchanged, there’s no awkward eye contact, and there are no bad thoughts that cloud your mind as you drift to sleep. You listen to Jisung’s soft snoring and the pitter patter of Minho’s heartbeat. You fall asleep warm, intertwined with many limbs, and with a soft smile on your face. *** Part 2/4 of the threesome series ;) Hope y'all enjoyed Masterlist Recs

Taglist: @lolareadsimagines / let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this series

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zephyrspace · 4 months

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even if you have a rosary, who will save you now?

gn!yuu, very short headcanons + scenarios

summary: yuu accepts that there is no way home and that the world will keep turning no matter what. with no worth to their name and no real purpose in this twisted wonderland, except for solving other people’ problems, they decide to stop caring.

cw: swearing, violence, blood. dm me if i’ve missed anything!

a/n: title is translated lyrics from the song US by ruby ibarra. imagine yuu as however and whoever you want!

“woe is me, prefect! i just have so much paperwork to do that i completely forgot about your weekly food allowance. however, to speed things up a bit, if you lend me a hand here, i could probably get the allowance before the end of next week!”

yuu slinks over to one of crowley’s stacks of paperwork and ruffles through it. not without noticing how some pages were completely blank, ‘probably to bulk up and exaggerate the stack,’ yuu thinks and their eye twitches.

crowley gulps at being caught. but neither of the two say anything about it.

“i’m sure at your grown age you’re supposed to be able to manage your time better than this, but of course i didn’t expect anything from you.” yuu throws the binded document carelessly over their shoulder and onto the floor.

“wha-”

“as a minor under your care, this kind of thing could be considered child labour and abuse. especially for not prioritising my allowance.”

“but, prefect-”

“in other words, this isn’t my problem, bird shit for brains. so, unless you want me to call whatever magical bullshit equivalent you have of child protective services you have in this world, go ahead, give me your work documents. i would be ever so happy to oblige.”

the prefect’s eyes were icy and the atmosphere in the office turned chilly. crowley attempts to smarten up and clears his throat.

“i will have the cheque ready before noon.”

looking down at crowley, yuu sends him a smile with no trace of warmth.

“that’s better.”

unhinged!yuu wouldn’t actively seek out to fight people unless students do it to them first, which is all the time. kind of like ‘i’m nice to you if you are to me. but the second i deem you an enemy, you’re done’ mindset.

those who knew and were ‘friends’ with yuu, didn’t believe in their newly acquired attitude at the beginning, but after a group decided it’d be funny to poke at yuu a bit during lunch, that’s when they realise that yuu was serious about not caring for anything at all.

“oi, magicless runt.”

taking a bite from their sandwich, yuu looks up at the senior holding a tray of food, “hm?”

“get up.” the senior’s friends behind him snicker.

“why?” they take another bite. ‘i wish adeuce and grim would hurry up with their food.’ yuu thinks.

“there’s no more seats.”

“mhm?”

“as your seniors, we get priority.” the senior’s smile widens.

“hm.” another bite. “ish that shou”

with crumbs and sauce at the corners of their lips, yuu wipes it off with their thumb and licks it. they gulp down the remainder of the sandwich.

“sorry, senior. but i don’t see that rule anywhere in the canteen.” they swipe off the leftover crumbs on their hands.

“i thought you’d might say that.”

the senior picks up a bowl from his tray and dumps soup onto yuu’s head.

it’s still boiling hot.

it hurts.

“scram, first year. before i do something worse-”

the senior is on the floor, on his knees and doesn’t realise blood is seeping from his nose until it drips onto the tile.

by now, the whole canteen is silent.

he doesn’t even get time to process what happened until he feels a shin connect with his side and launches him onto another nearby table, his legs dangling off the side, uniform ruined.

“why you-” one of his goonies attempt to throw a punch back at the prefect.

yuu grabs his wrist and used the momentum to throw the senior onto his back. he chokes on the impact.

the rest of the group stays at their spots. ‘smart choice,’ yuu scoffs.

the prefect walks over to the first senior lying against the now abandoned table and grabs whatever food was on the nearest plate and forcibly stuffs it into the senior’s mouth. a whole bread roll.

“oh, senior! i see you’ve found a table to sit at!” the senior had tears along his waterline from the gag reflex of having a whole roll of bread in his mouth.

yuu shoves the bread roll further down the seniors throat. twisting and turning it. the senior makes sounds of retching and pain. “although, preferably, it’d be better to sit on the seat rather than on the table, no?”

the senior could only nod at yuu’s words.

yuu pats his hair demeaningly.

“good boy.”

in essence, yuu becomes very assimilated to nrc. scarily so.

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #gn!reader #gn!yuu #twisted wonderland x reader

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snuggleboots · 5 months

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₊˚♡˚₊ The Akatsuki and their jealousy ₊˚♡˚₊

Tags: GN Reader, GN flirt, general jealousy and implied murder shenanigans.

Tobi essentially zeroes in the instant someone else starts laughing a little too hard at your jokes. Uhm, hello? You're funny, but you're not that funny. In fact, he's pretty sure he's the only person that busts a gut laughing when you crack your silly little one-liners or puns. It's cute to him, nobody else has any business making a play by acting all giggly and doe-eyed. He doesn't need to be violent about it - and really, why would he be? Tobi's just as happy to lean in - uncomfortably close - and then loudly declare that they have something stuck in their teeth! And it's super noticeable! So's their breath! It's not rude, he's just being helpful! He can smell their lunch through his mask! And it's rank! How embarrassing! Haha! They really should go brush their teeth, huh! Go away! Far, far, away!

Hidan is, in fact, very liable to wind up jealous over stupid little things that always result in becoming a pain in the ass for you to defuse when he inevitably hops onto his bullshit. You're out trying to enjoy one meal in peace together? That's funny, because the server seemed to put some weird, flirtatious emphasis on hot when they asked how you like your tea, and that's a problem, and that bitch knows it, too. Oh, they wanna know how hot you like it? Alright! There's loads of people on this earth, and they really wanna get stabbed over you? Fuck it! He just sat down, but clearly he's got some shit to do now. Dinner and a show! Why not?! He gets why Kakuzu doesn't tip now, not that he was gonna anyway. Shit service, and thirsty-ass servers. Fucking ridiculous.

Deidara is the first to notice when someone gets too close and cosy with you. Does it bug him immediately? No. His reaction, however, depends entirely on yours. Do you notice that they're smiling with way too much teeth when they playfully punched your arm? No? Alright. He can let that slide. It's when they deliberately divert your attention from him to themselves that he starts getting annoyed. He's not at all above pointing out tacky behaviour, petty king, and even if it embarrasses you a little, it is highly satisfying for him to see the flirt's face drop into something sour or burn up from the embarrassment. It's even better if you snicker along with him.

Kakuzu's only problem with someone chatting your ear off and really gushing over whatever comes out of your mouth is the fact that they're boosting your ego and he has to deal with it later. Not because the offending flirt boosted your ego, he doesn't give a damn about that, but he's now going to hear the same things you just told them about later when he's already just heard it - and he sincerely doesn't care to hear it again. He doesn't want to act interested, and yet he's going to be faced with either being called a dick, or being forced to feign something to avoid bickering about it after the fact. God dammit.

Kisame doesn't mind seeing someone try their damndest to flirt with you. He trusts you, and he's very happy to sit back while you turn them down- or, if he's lucky, watch while the flirt makes an idiot of themselves trying too hard to clue you in and get your attention. It's funny - he's laughing, and he isn't even trying to hide it. If he's in a cheeky mood, he'll even stir the pot, because he has gremlin tendencies and his humour is catered exclusively to himself. Yeah, he'll egg them on in little ways, until they're feeling nice and confident. Then, while he isn't really a PDA kind of guy, he'll drape a brawny arm over your shoulders, plonk a cheek atop your head and drawl something to the effect of, 'You know what? You do look great in that outfit. It'll look better on the floor later. Ready to go?' Kisame likes finding his own fun like this. The flirts always flap their lips like gasping fish when he hits 'em with that bit, and it tickles his brain just right.

Itachi is generally ambivalent. You have attractive qualities, he knows this, and he's well acquainted with the consequence of having said attractive qualities. As long as you're fine with it and nobody's pushing any obvious boundaries, he's fine with it too. Jealousy isn't an issue at all with Itachi. It only becomes one if you end up uncomfortable and the flirt doesn't pick up on that fact. In that case? He's glad to leave with you, if you don't feel like handling it. If you don't want to leave, or leaving isn't an option? Well, he can use his words. Or, if they've ruffled your feathers enough to annoy him, there are many benefits to being a genjutsu master. Oh, noooo, suddenly all eyes are on the flirt and the judgmental looks are intense and highly disarming. Or, uh oh! There's definitely a fire that just broke out, and they're the only one panicking about it! Oh wow, they left in a hurry. What a shame. They must've drank a little too much, or something like that.

Sasori, simply put, could not possibly care less if you paid him. Possibly aggravated by the fact that someone's breathing air in his direction while he's minding his business with you, someone he can actually tolerate. Yeah, he fully expects you to handle that. He's gained a knack for zoning minor annoyances out- until those minor annoyances become general annoyances. It's only when the offending flirt's voice becomes grating - which, really, doesn't take long at all before he bothers intervening if you haven't already shooed them away yourself. If a terse 'shut up' or 'begone' doesn't dissuade the persistent little gnat, he has poison and many fun, discrete vehicles with which to deliver it. It is purely for the sake of peace and quiet. Does he care when they drop like a sack of rocks, seizing and foaming at the mouth? Not particularly. Do as he does, and zone it out. Don't look at it (derogatory), you'll only encourage it to make more of a scene.

#reader insert #akatsuki x reader #naruto x reader #naruto #akatsuki #tobi x reader #hidan x reader #deidara x reader #kakuzu x reader #kisame x reader #itachi x reader #sasori x reader #writing tag #this is just sillyness b/c i saw a funny tiktok and rolled w/ it #:' )#also highly based on my own dumb perceptions of everyone

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ms-demeanor · 8 months

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Atheist condolence card like "sucks that your grandpa no longer exists and you'll never see him again, oh well"

I mean, I'm looking for a condolence card for a Jewish family (found a pretty good one, will be adding a note about a shared memory of the deceased and hopes for the mourners that their memory may be a blessing).

But also I have no idea why people find the concept of an afterlife comforting. Legitimately, that is unappealing to me and the idea that I would be artificially separated from the people that I love and reintroduced to them after a period of separation if there was no need for that time of mourning and loss seems. Bullshit? It seems like bullshit? Capricious and cruel at best?

Anyway when my grandpa died we got a phone call when they tossed is ashes into the ocean and we never saw him again! Being reminded that we wouldn't see him in an afterlife wasn't the sad part, the sad part was knowing that we wouldn't know him anymore, that we'd be on one side of a growing divide, that there was a before and an after and we had left him behind while we had to move forward. It wouldn't have been comforting to think "well perhaps someday when I have lived my life without him, I will see him again in a place where nothing from this life (all the things that I have done, all the things that he taught me) will matter because they were worldly and unimportant."

What was comforting at that time, and after the very many family deaths that I have experienced (and I've experienced a lot! I've been comfortable with the idea that I'll never see my loved ones again when they're gone since I was a very small child!), and what I suspect is comforting even for religious people who have experienced a loss is to be reminded of the people who are still on the same side of that dividing line, who we can still love and adore and support and make memories with.

Anyway. I'm an atheist at least partially because of my grandfather, who was a magician and a skeptic and took great joy in skewering the supernatural. It would be an insult to his memory to think that he was an angel lighting up a star in heaven or whatever the christian condolence cards say.

My grandpa did a sexy comedy magical immolation of my grandmother in front of crowds; there was a devil on the flier.

(grandma's the one on the right)

Pictured: Not someone who had much reverence for death or much patience for the supernatural:

(Funny story, when my dad came to visit this week he saw a 2-post 52U server rack on the driveway from a distance and asked me "where did you guys get the guillotine? Did I leave that here?")

But my family is probably *unusually* atheist and irreverent.

For atheists in general I don't know why people think that it's more upsetting to acknowledge the truth (that once people are dead you won't see them anymore) than to be told "comforting" lies (that you will see dead people again at some mystical place that you have no access to or proof of).

I *hate* hearing "they're in a better place" when I'm mourning someone I loved because that's something that's comforting for a religious person to say but dismisses both the way that I mourn and (frequently in my family) the beliefs of the deceased. They are not in a better place, they are *gone* and I don't want to imagine that they're somewhere waiting for me to join them again, I want to remember them for who they were and accept that they aren't in my life anymore.

"They're in heaven now" "they're with the angels now" "they're with their maker" - none of those things are true and they reflect an extremely limited worldview that I don't share and find pretty insipid actually! Thank you for trying to comfort me you are doing a poor job of it I'm going to go hang out and talk to someone who actually knew them and we'll share stories of what an asshole they were and what kind of crazy nonsense they got up to and what a big, important part of our lives they were and we'll start trying to make sense of how to fill the hole left behind with something practical and joyful and fun and honest that they would have loved instead of cardboard angel wings.

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97keanu · 6 months

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˚₊‧꒰ა 𖤐Hellsent𖤐 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Dave Lizewski x Succubi!Reader

Premise: Dave, Todd, and Marty have been laughing about doing a demonic ritual for Halloween. They text back and forth via Skype about how silly it is that there's so many fake rituals online. Todd gets the bright idea of looking into the deep web for some really funny ones, and ends up sending Dave a link for a ritual to 'try'. Thinking it's just bullshit, Dave goes ahead and performs the ritual, but it may turn out to be more real than he thought...

Tags/CW: all characters are 18+, succubi!reader, demonic!reader, nerdy!Dave, blood, demonic rituals, smut, demonic sex, switch!reader, Dom leaning!Reader, sub!Dave, virgin!Dave, p in v, doggy, surprising dom!Dave, chubby!reader, thick!reader, slutty!reader, c*mslut!reader, oral (Dave receiving), oral (reader receiving), raw.

Be added to the Dave taglist here check out my other Dave Lizewski fics here!

Just like any Friday night, Dave was at home. He is set up at his computer, complete with snacks and the biggest bottle of Mountain Dew he could find at the convenience store. His room is dark, save for the blue light of the screen being his beacon in the dark October night. His glasses glint with the screens reflection as he watches memes on youtube because there's nothing better to do. He checks his Skype after hearing that familiar ping! and takes a big swig of his drink.

Todd and Marty are currently laughing over finding out that some parts of the internet think you can actually summon a demon. Dave watches as they type back and forth quizzically before responding himself.

[Dave]: People really think that shit works?

[Marty]: Guess so...and I thought we did some pathetic shit on the internet.

[Todd]: Right, I mean the one I'm looking at now says: "How to summon a Succubus."

[Todd]: These nerds are so lonely they think they can magically conjure up a woman to fuck them, it's actually kind of sad at that point...

[Marty] Damn, maybe that's what Dave needs so he can finally get some pussy for once

[Dave] As if you aren't already looking into how to do it, Marty. I just know from how much you play WoW that you have some sick monster girl fantasies.

[Todd] Actually, I'm with Marty on this one, you should try the ritual and get back to us. I think you'd be less of a dickhead if you finally got some.

Dave stares at the screen in discontent. He hates when his friends make fun of him for being a virgin, which makes no sense to Dave because they're not getting any either. Todd claims that the reason it's different is because at least Todd tries to give an air of not being a virgin, and Marty got to 2nd base in freshmen year with one of the chess team girls. Dave however, according to Todd and Marty, is a quintessential virgin.

So, when Todd sends a sketchy link that Dave is almost certain will end up being a screamer or malware, he decides to click it anyways, on the off chance it actually is a way to get a demon babe to fuck you.

To Dave's surprise, it isn't a fake out. It's a forum, from what part of the web, Dave is unsure. He hasn't seen a site like this before, and from a quick glance, the people talking in it are serious. He reads as users of the forum detail a ritual, and how each of them have modified it until supposedly it worked. Dave still feels pretty skeptical about it, but it seems like everyone in this forum really believes this, and that alone is enough that Dave feels a slight chill.

Dave hears another ping! and when he clicks back to Skype, Todd and Marty are once again, egging him on about it. He tries to ignore it, not sending anything back as he begins writing down what the forum suggests. Dave hears the familiar sound of an incoming call, and reluctantly answers it. Dave watches as the screen-glowed faces of Todd and Marty join his.

"So, are you going to do it?" Marty says with a snort.

"Yeah, c'mon Dave, we wanna watch and see if it's real!" Todd looks very enthusiastic about all of this, but of course, he's safe from any harm behind the screen.

"Fine, I'll do your stupid ritual and show you how dumb it is." Dave grumbles, finally giving in to the idea fully.

Todd and Marty are pumped, and Dave let's them know he has to go gather some things from the list. He mutes and turns off his camera before trekking out of his room for the first time that night to look for what the ritual calls for, or the best things he can find.

Dave scoures the house and ends up finding most of what he needs. He steals five candles from his Dad, who is surprisingly into collecting Bath and Body Works scents. He gathers cinnamon and basil from the kitchen cabinet, and is surprised to see there is actually a bundle of lavender on the wall for decoration. He finishes his hunt by grabbing a piece of white chalk from leftover summer days when he was younger, and a needle from his mom's old sewing kit.

Dave races back up to his attic room, ready to get this over with, and tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. A part of him worries if it will work. A deeper part of him wonder if it was even remotely possible that he could actually get laid tonight, demonic or otherwise.

"Alright, I got what it says..." Dave turns on the mic and camera and tells his friends. They seem interested, and urge him to continue. Dave sets the webcam up so they can see more of his room, particularly the bed and the wooden floor before it.

He gets started, making a pentagram and tracing the runes that the website said to put. It doesn't take long before he has what looks like a legit summoning circle, to his surprise. He continues as Todd and Marty watch carefully, and Dave notices that they aren't joking as much as before the more he continues. He wonders how much they think this will really work, or if this is an elaborate prank to make him do all this work in a desperate attempt to have sex. He hopes neither of them are screen recording the most.

Dave lights each candle, placing them on a pentagram point, then sprinkling a bit of each herb to each candle. He looks back to the paper he has the instructions on and confirms that the next part he will have to draw blood.

"I guess it calls for blood now, guys..." Dave says, uneasily, glancing back to the screen for validation.

"I thought you said after the accident you couldn't feel much pain?" Todd asks, and Marty nods along.

"We've come this close, better just finish it up and see if it really works..." Marty quietly adds, shifting in his seat.

"I don't know what you mean by 'we'..." Dave grumbles, but grabs the sewing needle.

They were right, it won't hurt that much to prick his finger for Dave. Somehow, despite knowing the pain wasn't really an issue, Dave's heart began to pick up. The wind outside his window seemed to disappear as he carefully begun poking his finger, the blood swelling up and slipping down it. Todd and Marty were completely silent as they watched Dave add a drop to each point, Dave speaking the Latin he had wrote down for the ritual. As he neared the last line and last point, he felt something in the room shift. The energy made the hair on his neck stand up, and the candles flickered despite the lack of airflow. Dave hesitated as he began to finish the ritual, his stomach fluttering with nerves.

There was only one way to see if any of that was real or not, though. And Dave wasn't about to chicken out in front of his friends, he hated facing embarrassment like that from them because it would last for months. Besides, it was unlikely anything would happen and he could go back and goad Todd for thinking it would work. Dave smiled for a second thinking of how he could get back at him, then found the confidence to continue.

He spoke the last line, his drop of blood falling onto the last sigil. Dave watched as it sat there, and for a few moments, nothing moved.

"I told you, Todd! Nothing was going to happen-" Dave yelled back at the screen with a smirk, then paused.

He saw the sigil soak up the blood, moving the liquid by an unknown force. A faint glow of red began to take hold of the shape. Todd and Marty could barely tell through their cameras, but watched in anticipation, wondering why their friend stopped gloating. Dave stepped out of the circle, almost tripping into his bed. As he exited the circle, the wind picked up, blowing harshly into his room. He heard Todd and Marty begin chattering, asking what was happening, as one of the candles fell over, sparking a ring of fire around the pentagram.

Dave tried to move, tried to do anything, knowing he should put out the flame, but he was speechless as he watched the ring bend shape into that of a heart. Dave blinked, trying to will the images before him away, unable to process what was happening. As he was almost able to regain the ability to move, your portal opened up.

You had been watching hungrily as the young man completed your ritual, smelling the virginity on him from your realm, and wanting a taste of his sweet essence. You floated out of the portal, your tiny, pink bat-like wings fluttering. You watched as Dave's eyes grew ever larger at the sight of you. You who was practically naked, a string of bikini covering only the most sacred of bits. Your pink skin glowed in the dim light of his computer, and the horns on your head gleamed. You could hear the sounds of boys fawning over you from the computer, and glanced over with a sharpness in your Amaranth colored eyes.

"You brought me here to an audience, I see..." Your voice, dripping with honey-like sweetness, yet your demonic undertones rumbled through out.

Dave could barely speak. He looked up at you to where he had fallen into the end of his bed with fear and, to his dismay, a hardening cock clearly beginning to struggle against his jeans. He could barely believe any of it.

Maybe he had fallen when the fire broke out and hit his head, or perhaps the fumes from the smoke were making him see things, but no. You really were in his bedroom, a burning heart breaking way to the hottest creature he had ever laid eyes on.

His eyes trailed your curves, enjoying the plumpness and the way the straps of your bikini could barely hold how thick you were. He thought he might just cum in his pants right then as you turned, your ass so juicy and cute, your tail flicking with mischief. He watched as you stepped out of the circle, walking over to the computer. As you got closer, bending over and giving Dave a wonderful view, the computer began to glitch.

"It seems my magic prevents me from using such a contraption..." You whisper to yourself, and Dave opens his mouth to speak, but cannot find the words. "No matter. If you wish for these humans to watch as I take you, then so be it."

The thought of Todd and Marty watching him lose his virginity made his stomach turn, and Dave finally was able to jump to his feet, rushing towards the computer as you left it to float over to the bed. He could hear Todd and Marty trying to dissuade him from turning off the webcam, obviously eager to see what comes next even if it is their closest friend.

"Wait, Dave!" They said almost in unison as Dave began shutting it down.

"Sorry guys! Busy! Bye!" Dave uttered, the words the first thing that he could think of to say. He ended the call and turned off his computer in record time, turning to face you, who was now laid out on the bed with a sensual stare.

"So, they call you Dave?" You purred, your pink eyes glowing in the darkness of Dave's room.

The firey summoning circle has died down to a crisp ember in the floor. Dave didn't want to think about how he would have to explain that to his dad later. Instead, he couldn't help but to be entranced by you, walking forward slowly, unsure, but knowing he wants you.

"Y-yeah, that's, um, my name..." Dave speaks shyly, a nervous hand ruffling his dark curls at the back of his head.

"Cute...I'd tell you my name, but I don't think you would understand my demonic language." You tease him, bringing up a finger and curling it to signal Dave to come closer.

Dave gulps, and takes a few steps further, then stops. Even if this is all just a gas leak induced dream, he still felt the need to make sure that he was safe.

"Wh-what are you going to, uh, do to me?" He forces the words out.

"Nothing you don't want, Dave." You lay back, your pink tits falling just so, looking perfectly round and soft. Dave can't help but get caught up in them.

"But, you're a d-demon right?" He has to blink and look away to keep talking, his cock is distracting him too much when he looks at you.

"A succubi, yes... Is that a problem?"

"Aren't demons, like, supposed to be, um, really bad and stuff?" He hates how ridiculous and nerdy he sounds trying to figure this all out, but he's so nervous he can barely speak naturally.

"Depends on what you view as bad." You begin, a hand lazily playing with the strap of your bikini on your thigh, snapping it. Dave watches as your thighs jiggle temptingly.

"If you think sex is a sin, then maybe I would be bad. That was very common back in the day. The world seems to have grown a bit, but we still get summons from hunters who hate us. You don't happen to be a demon hunter, do you Dave?" You know he's not, but it's fun to see him sweat a little.

"N-no, absolutely not..." Dave stutters out, then clears his throat. "But, what do you want to do to me?"

"Well, I thought you knew the answer to that, seeing as it was you who summoned me." You giggle a bit, the sound like to soft bells. "Usually, this works as a symbiotic relationship. You get to fuck me, and I get to devour that delicious sexual energy you've been hoarding..."

"H-hoarding?"

"Oh yes, your virginity at such an age is less common nowadays. It will be very, very tasty to suck all of that pent up sexual frustration out of you..." You wink at him, and Dave's already hot cheeks darken a deeper shade of red.

"But, will that hurt me?" Dave whispers, the temptation to give in so strong he has started coming closer and closer.

"Only if you care that you'll be extremely tired afterward. But sex makes most people tired, doesn't it?" Dave thinks he's heard that before, but he wouldn't really know either way. The offer sounds like a good deal though, he could take being tired.

"And you won't do anything I won't like?"

"Not a chance."

Dave stops at the foot of the bed, looking down at you sexy form. He never thought he would ever have a girl in his bed, laid out, wanting him. He couldn't have guessed that girl would be a hot succubi like yourself. He takes one last moment to decide, and his cock overrides all better judgements.

Dave nods at you, accepting, and you smile, your tiny fangs cutely peeking out from behind your soft, plump lips. You move, cat-like and sensual, getting on all fours and meeting Dave at the edge of the bed. You place a hand on his hard cock, and he breathes out a shuttering breath, the touch warm and inviting.

"I suppose we should start by freeing up such a large cock..." You look up as you speak, your eyelashes batting.

Dave groans as you unzip his jeans, his mind reeling from the fact that you called his cock big. He didn't think he would ever hear a girl tell him that, and now here you are, looking up with your heart shaped pupils as if Dave's the sexiest man around.

Truth is, you do think he's quite sexy. Sure, he's obviously a comic book nerd, that much was sure from one look at his room. But, those big blue eyes and that sweetheart, shy smile were quite charming. You're honestly surprised that no one else has already used this boy up. Oh well, more of his fat cock for you.

You watch as it flops out, and you're even more surprised by how big and girthy it is when it's been unleashed from his jeans. You stare up at him with lustful, glowing eyes, taking his cock slowly in your hands, and for a moment you think he might just cum from that. As you continue to slowly stroke his cock, you can sense how horny he is, and are surprised by the level. Maybe he will make an acceptable sex partner after all. You haven't found someone who can keep up with you yet, at least not enough for you to visit more than once.

You slowly slide his jeans and underwear down, his mess of curls at the base of his cock meeting your hand as you fully stroke him. He leans his head back, his eyes scrunched up from trying to keep himself from cumming too soon. You bite your lip, ready to give his cock a taste.

Your warm mouth engulfs the tip of Dave's cock, filling up more of your mouth than you imagined. Dave moans out from the sudden warmth, and his hips gently buck for more as your tongue swirls around the head of his cock gently, teasing him. You feel his cock begin to leak, even after such little contact, and you lap it up happily, feeling the sexual energy begin to energize you.

"P-please..." Dave barely gets out as you continue to tease. "I can't take much more,"

You look up at him, taking your mouth off and giving him a breather. You flip over, so your breasts are facing him, and open your mouth as your head dangles gently off the bed.

"Fuck my mouth, Dave..." You command, and it doesn't take anything else for Dave to nod and listen.

He gently places his cock in your mouth, slowly rocking his hips in, going shallowly in and out. You reach a hand between your own legs, feeling your wetness from the outside of your bikini, and placing with your pussy on top of it. You reach a hand up to his thigh and without warning to him, push, making his cock dive deep into your throat.

His muscles tense and he let's out a loud whimper, not moving because he knows he will burst in your mouth right now if he does. You enjoy the feeling of your throat being so full, feeling his cock twitching and aching to cum in there. You feel him slowly begin to move again, taking deeper and deeper thrusts with the help of your guiding hand. You feel a bit surprised by his sudden boldness when he reaches down, and grabs a handful of your tits. You're moaning along, happy he is getting the hang of this.

You take his cock with ease, that's what you were made for after all, but that doesn't stop how horny it makes you to have a throat full of such a big cock like his. You love the way it chokes you when he dips in as deep as he can go, your spit slipping down the sides of your mouth. The feeling of being used in such a way as your pussy tingling, and you can't wait to have Dave's fat cock fill you up there too.

"Fuck...I'm so close to cumming..." You hear him whisper, and you're not worried at all that he will cum so quickly. You're a demon, after all, you have your ways of getting a cock hard again, and you don't plan on letting Dave go on only a fifteen minute throat fuck.

Dave can hardly believe how good this feels. Or the fact that he, someone who no other girl would even look at because he's such a shy nerd, gets to fuck someone like you. He feels so powerful right now too, being able to fuck you in throat, and no matter how much he tests how hard he can go, you take it with ease. His hands play with your breasts, and he slips a hand under the fabric of your bikini. He's surprised to find your nipples are pierced, but the idea turns him on even more. He softly twists them, earning him a moan from you every time, which only goes directly to his cock. He isn't sure how much longer he can hold it. He wants to explore so much more of your body, but he needs to cum so badly it hurts.

You feel Dave's cock swell in your throat, and you're sure he can see the lump he's leaving from the outside. He shudders as he tries to drag this out, attempting to save himself for more of your body, but he knows he can't stop himself. Dave cuts off one of your pretty little moans by jolting his cock hard and fast deep into your throat, spilling over and filling you up. You can barely breathe, and the hot liquid tries to choke you, but you're no amateur. You happily swallow all of Dave's seed as it twitches out inside of you.

Dave carefully pulls his cock from your throat, and your smile up at him, cum slipping down the side of your mouth. You use a hand to quickly get it in your mouth, his sexual essence most powerful there. Dave watches as your eyes glow a bit more strongly after swallowing so much cum.

"You really did suck the life out of me, huh..." Dave says wearily, feeling the effects of your succubus powers.

You sit up and smile, nodding to his question. You feel the energy making you more awake, but you're still hungry for him.

Dave sits on the bed next to you and you lean into him. You let your hands pull off his shirt, and explore his body, your kisses to his neck, biting and sucking softly.

"I'm not sure I can..." Dave begins, but when your hand reaches down to touch his cock, he's surprised at how easy he gets hard again. You giggle into his neck, his curls tickling your face.

"How did you..." He asks, his voice full of wanton.

"A perk of spending the night with a succubi," you whisper into his ear. "Is that were finished, when I say were finished..."

Dave feels your voice against his ear, and he shudders, a chill from how good it feels to be touched by your taking over his body.

"Tell me Dave, what else would you like tonight?" You whisper as you stroke his cock back to life.

"I um..." Dave's cheeks heat up as he thinks about one of his biggest fantasies, the feeling of you stroking him not helping to keep his mind straight. "I actually...would love if you would let me eat you out..."

Dave whimpers out his request, and you're surprised the second time tonight. Most men that summon you can only think of themselves, but you're turned on by the fact that Dave seems to love giving just as much as he likes receiving.

You pull him back with you, laying onto your back, and letting Dave get in between your legs. You keep his head by yours so you can kiss those big, luscious lips of his, and he happily receives them. You guide him down your neck, to your breasts where you let his mouth explore for a while. You arch your back into him, your tits so sensitive to his touch. Dave sucks on them, pulling them together even and getting both nipples in his mouth. He remembers seeing that in a porn flick once, and he gets ever harder as he realizes how good it feels to do so. What feels the best right now, is hearing your moans as he pleases you. Dave's always loved the idea of giving, of making you feel so good, and the fact that it's him who's able to please a woman turns him on the most. He wonders what other moves he can try on you.

Finally he slips his head between your juicy thighs, taking both and squeezing them, pushing your legs against his face. You see what he wants and laugh a little, putting more pressure to smush his head between your thighs. He seems to love the feeling, and when you release him, he looks up at you with such love and lust in his eyes. You pull your tiny bikini, now soaked with your wetness, to the side, and let Dave get a good look at your cute little pussy.

"God, you look so gorgeous..." He whispers, not realizing he's thinking his thoughts out loud. He's already so intoxicated by you, and he wonders how much of it is natural and how much of it is your demonic influence. Then he looks into your cute eyes and he doesn't care.

He leans in, inhaling your scent before lapping up your pussy with a flat tongue. He already loves how you taste, and while he's surprised by the taste as it is his first time, he also finds it so strangely enjoyable. He picks up the pace, your breathing changing with it, and you give him praise while he gives you head.

"You're such a good boy for me, Dave..." And suddenly, Dave feels as if he's doing what he's supposed to. He loves being praised for doing such a good job, and he had no idea that your soft whimpers and approval were so poignant. He takes your thighs and pulls you into himself, his mouth working harder to make you feel good.

He tries to remember techniques he had, of course, searched for. He didn't know when he might need to know how to eat pussy, so he tried searching various reddits and wikihows to make sure he would do a good job. He swirls his tongue around your clit, and teases it the way you teased his cock. You enjoy the feeling, loving how he explores what feels good for you, and how he listens to your commands and moans to do just that.

Dave laps up all of your pussy, exploring more than just your clit, and looking up at you with his big blues pussy drunk. He remembers one tip, and tries it, putting his whole mouth over your clit and sucking. You moan out, arching your back into him and gripping his curls. He can't believe how good it feels to have his hair gripped like that, and soon enough your bobbing his head in the perfect motion, using his mouth up to your liking.

Dave's glasses begin fogging over and getting in the way, so between breaths he plucks them off and tosses them away, uncaring what happens to them. He's too busy with the euphoria you're giving him. He feels his cock against the bed, so hard. He is practically humping the bed to get some friction down there while his head keeps in time with the motions you guide. You feel yourself getting closer and closer.

"Put your fingers inside me, Dave..." You command with a husky voice, and Dave doesn't hesitate.

He wets his fingers by licking the first two, and slowly plays with your hole, easing himself inside of you. He can't believe how warm it is, and he slowly curls them like he read about. You moan out, his fingers are so long and thick.

"More..." You breathe. "Harder..."

Dave complies, giving you anything you ask for, completely taken by your spell, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. You feel him finally hit that perfect spot inside you, and you practically scream out.

"Yes! Right there, right there!" You whine, your legs shaking and your hands a mess in his curls. Dave doesn't let up, and instead brings you over the edge, letting you buck into his face and hand.

He watches as you come for him, whining out his name, and he feels as if he may just cum himself against the bed. He only pulls up and stops when you tell him to, looking up at you, breathless and lips wet. He looks dazed and satisfied with himself, and you look at him with a similar expression. Your eyes glow and take in the experience, and soon enough you're already aching for his cock again.

Dave can hardly stand it himself, all of his thoughts are on how badly he needs to finish fucking you. He doesn't wait to see what you do next, he feels way too primal to do so. Instead, in his sex drunken state, he moves up, bringing his cock to meet your pussy. He taps it in your wetness, before playing with your folds, making you bite your lip with want.

"Fuck me, Dave..." You whisper, wrapping your legs around his waist and pull him in.

Dave doesn't need to be told twice. He slips his cock down, your pussy wet and like satin, smoothly and slowly pressing himself inside of you. You can take his cock, but that doesn't mean you can't feel his girth stretching you and his length filling you to the brim. Dave settles his cock into the warmth of your pussy and for a second he wonders if this is what heaven feels like.

He thinks to take it slow, but when he looks up at your eyes, he knows. He slips back out slowly, almost pulling all the way out, before pounding back in with force, testing out how hard he's allowed to fuck you. Turns out, you like it pretty damn hard. Soon enough, he's fucking your tight little cunt so hard your tits are bouncing uncontrollably, and your moans are reverberating off the walls. Dave's very happy he's the only one home right now, but he's sure at this point even the neighbors know.

Dave get's caught up in the moment, and grips your thighs hard enough to leave bruises. He pull you up so his cock angles so he can go deep, savoring the way your pussy holds him so firmly. He doesn't know what overcomes him, but he pulls out for a minute, and with strength he didn't know he had, he flips you over. He grabs a handful of your juicy ass, before giving it a slap, and diving right back in.

Your tail flicking with delight as he fucks you from behind, and soon enough he's grabbing a hold of that too, holding it at the thicker base and using it to keep you right where he wants you. Dave fucks you like the dirty cumslut you are, and you love every minute of it. You're panting and looking back at him with eyes that soak up every stroke, enjoying how delicious his sexual energy tastes. You wonder how a succubi could get so lucky as to find suck pure virgin nerdy dick like this. You don't think you can go back to being pleasured by just anyone.

Dave feels you tightening around him, your hand slipping underneath you to find your needy clit, rubbing frantically now to get off.

"You like when I pound you with this cock?" Dave has no idea what has possessed him to say such a thing, usually he's so shy, but right now, he can't help but to dominate you.

"Yes!" You respond, happy to switch roles however your dorky lover wants. "Please fill my pussy up, I need it..."

Dave gets closer and closer as you beg to be his cumdumpster, and you feel yourself beginning to cum again yourself. You feel your muscles stiffen, and your moans get away from you as you cum. Dave can't take it anymore, not with your cunt spasming and tightening all over his cock. He fills you up with his own groan, pounding his cum deeper and deeper with every stroke.

You feel yourself being so full, of Dave's cum, cock, and essence. You look back at him, completely taken away by how good of a fuck he is. When Dave is finished filling you up, he pulls out, carefully. His breaths hard and his body sweaty. He can't help himself, he falls next to you and pulls you close, spooning him from behind.

After the two of you finally settle down, enjoying the silence and the way each others body feels, Dave speaks.

"Not at all what I was expecting for my first time..." His voice is sleepy and deep, sending butterflies into your stomach.

"And what if we did it again sometime...?" You say tentatively, biting your lip.

"Really?" Dave doesn't know what to say, he had no idea that it was possible to see you again.

"You might just become my main meal, if you want to be." You tease and Dave snuggles into your neck.

"Hmm...I think I would like that..." He can hardly keep his eyes open, all the energy having been drained from him.

He gently holds you close, one hand softly thumbing your horns and petting your hair. You usually don't stay this long, but for some reason, you're really enjoying this. You allow your body's exhaustion to take over, relaxing into his arms. Soon enough Dave slips into the best slumber he's ever had, and you follow him.

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somnambulic-thing · 7 months

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wrong number 2.2k

A/N: Just had an idea for a fic I will very probably never write in a fully flashed out way because I have a million wips and no attention span and no deisre to have more wips but don't want to fully let this idea go to waste so here it goes in very shortened form and probably very messy and rough.

Eddie x afab!reader || imagine them in their early/mid 30s

cw: mental health themes, reader has a broken leg, angsty shit, fluff, happy end

You moved cities to have a fresh start after a rough time came to an even rougher but long overdue end. You know nobody here, a clean slate to draw new blueprints on.

Two weeks in and despite your grumpy hermit ways, you are friendly with some of your neighbours already. They are nice, helpful people which is a win you take like it was a million bucks.

Three weeks in, you fall down a flight of stairs, break your leg and bump your head. Brilliant.

Back from the ER you sink into your bed, looking at still unpacked boxes and biting back bitter tears of frustration when your phone beeps. You eye it suspiciously, anxious your past might be knocking already, bloodhounds of days past sniffing your weakend state and their chance to inflict a little more pain.

You figure you're overracting, turn on the sceen and find a message from an unknown number.

[Hey Rick. Sorry to drop this on you on such short notice, but I won't make it to your get-home-from-prison party tonight. I can swing by next week with a six-pack or something. You have a good time, yeah? I'll explain when we see each other.]

[Hey there. I'm afraid you got the wrong number. I don't know any Ricks. But gratulations to him from me for getting out of prison, when you get a chance. Unless he's a serial killer or something comparable. Then I want you to run.]

[Well, shit. Sorry.]

And then after a few seconds: [I get back to you in case I need a place to hide.]

And somehow this sparks a conversation that lasts for hours. His name is Eddie, you learn after some minutes of back and forth which are unsuspectedly remarkably funny. But he's surprisingly also really concerned about your leg and your mild concussion and the fact that you mentioned you will give yourself one day of rest and then try to catch up on and get as much stuff done as you can with your cast and crutches. Luckily you can work from home, you say. Eddie isn't sure how he feels about that.

He makes you swear you take it easy. He asks if there are people that can take care of you and you lie to that concerned stranger who is the first person to make you laugh out loud in a too long time. You tell him your friends are taking turns to look after you. Why lie to a stranger? It's complicated... He keeps checking in, keeps chatting with you about all kinds of things all day long no matter what he has to do: Work, band practice, DnD, being out with friends or his uncle, Eddie keeps lighting up your phone all day long. The later the day, the deeper your conversations and you soon get the feeling that Eddie isn't all just fun and jokes but when you actually try to poke softly, he evades you.

[When you feel better and still are interested in my bullshit, I'll share. Promise.]

Okay, fine. Why would he want to trust you with his private struggles? He's just a stranger, with friends and an support system, who probably will lose interest to invest his time into you sooner than he himself is expecting. Which is fine... really... would be fine if he wasn't really funny... and interesting with a hundred interests and hobbies... and so weird and oddly caring... and living on the other side of the country.

But four days in and you wake up with a text from him, asking you if you finally could sleep a little better than the days before.

And then at 3am and endless hours of exchanging messages filled with thoughs and musings and dreams, he offers to send you a copy of a book he is sure you would enjoy. That he really needs... you to read for important reasons. One of them is to remedy the boredom inflicted by bedrest in those hours Eddie is busy and can't entertain you.

You give him your address almost without second thought, despite your mind telling you to maybe think about it first...

You had avoided anything outside of texts - no pictures, no calls - and he hadn't pressed the matter by himself. Which was a relief because you're not sure if you could witstand the temptation if he were to offer.

Getting more pieces of him... It just felt too dangerous. But a book was just a book, right?

You rely on your 72 year old neighbour for food and other errands and chores around your place. Mrs P is such a sweet old lady eager to help as much as she can, bending over backwards for you. So you naturally try to bother her only when it's really dire.

Seven days in and you see the postman stuff a small parcel into your mailbox. You hurry to snatch your crutches, not even thinking about what you are doing and you limp down the six stories to your mailbox way too fast. Your head is not happy and neither is your leg and it takes you and your ego ages and all your strength to get back up to your apartment.

You fall into your bed, exhausted, sweaty and in pain and crying in frustration and you fall asleep on the package from Eddie before you can even think of opening it.

Your phone rings and wakes you up when it's already pitch black outside. You've slept most of the day away.

Answering the phone on autopilot, still half asleep you don't check the name on the screen.

"Yeah?" you drawl.

"Jesus fucking Christ you're alive."

"What--? I--"

"I haven't heard from you in hours and your messages sounded so antsy and sad all day and I had a bad feeling somehow. Are you ok? Did I wake you?"

"Eddie?"

"Yeah, sweetheart. Hi, that's my voice. Anxious edition."

You're overwhelmed. Finding no words while his words dig deep trenches of longing into your brain which are hard to get out of...

"You still there?"

"Uh-hn, yeah..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just woke up, like you said. That's my voice. Sleepy edition."

And then he laughs. Oh god, what a sweet sweet sound.

"Hmm, sorry I just was really worried here..."

You tell Eddie there is nothing to worry about but that he's very sweet and he asks you if you have a little time to chat, tells you he likes your voice, likes it a lot and of course you have time but something weighs on you and the flutter of bats in your stomach.

You can't say if it's the aftershock of your staircase ordeal or the fact that your wonderful stranger keeps getting more and more real and more and more precious or a mixture of both. Suddenly there is silence on the other end of the line.

"Eddie? You still there?"

"Something's off."

You shuffle and feel the parcel poke into your ribs. You dig it out from under you, face heating up from two sources - the gift and his tone - and you start to fumble the parcel open.

"I'm sorry--"

"Don't be. I just want to help. Let me help."

You finally fully unwrap the book. It's a well loved worn paperback copy. You run your fingertips over every wrinkles and cracks in the cover. Your voice sounds dazed to your own ears when you speak.

"I got your book..."

"Oh. Okay, yeah, great. And?"

You notice the excitement in his voice, notice that it matches your heartbeat when you open the book and find it full of notes. On some pages the margines are completly filled with Eddie's toughts.

"I just unwrapped it, like, ten seconds ago."

"Oh."

"I didn't realize you would send me... such a personal thing... looks like a diary..."

"Kinda is. Too weird?"

You stare at his handwriting which is somewhat of an elegant scratch and all those little sketches and something inside you gives way.

"I'm not okay..."

"I know. Tell me?"

You tell him that you lied, that there were no friends despite your eldery neighbor looking after you and you tell him about your little ordeal this afternon and about feeling tired and lonely and scared and starved for joy and he listens through it all.

Now it will be too much, you think but then you look at the book in your lap and keep talking. When you're done, there is silence on the other end.

"You still there."

"Processing."

"Mad?"

"Nope."

"Too much?"

"For me?" He chuckles. It's bitter and wonderful. "Sweetheart, it's not me who's dealing with all that shit right now. If you can handle living it, I can handle listening to it..."

"I hear you swallowing a but."

"But I know what you're talking about..."

You talk a little longer and despite him saying everything is alright, something is different. He seems distant, distracted, not fully with you. You keep leafing through that book, gently tracing the lines that are proof of his existance, marks he left in the world, preparing for him to ask you to send it back as soon as you can. You prepare for him to realize this was a mistake. A charity case gone wrong.

Eventually you get tired and a headache and he tells you to go rest, voice soft and deep and you're preparing for this to be the last time you'll hear it.

"Sleep well, yeah?"

No more sweetheart.

"I will. You too."

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye."

You have a restless night and wake up to a message from him.

[Good Morning. How did you sleep?]

You smile, feeling stupid, like you overreacted and you exchange some messages but they are short and flat and there is still no sweetheart. Around noon, your phone has gone silent. Inside your chest, the echoes of disapointment are deafening.

You bury yourself in his book, and it feels like you're having a conversation with him through his notes for they are like direct replies to your own thoughts about the story unfolding. You can't put it down, probably look up from it for the first time in hours late in the evening when you're full on crying, holding the book away from you to not get tears or snot on it.

And then there is a knock at your door. Three sharp raps. Quick.

And you think it must be Mrs P with your groceries, you feel guilty that she has to carry all the stuff upstairs while her knee is bothering her. You make your way out of bed, get your crutch and slowly move towards the door.

"Coming!"

You realize you still have the book in your hand and you wedge it under your arm to open your door and--

"Hi."

Your heart is racing as your mind tries to keep up with what is happening. You consider pinching yourself, consider reaching out to touch him, see if he's made of flesh and blood or delirium, feel the dip of a frown-made crease betwen his brows under your fingertips, the fine stubble on his cheeks under the slide of your thumb.

"That's my face. Worried edition... why are you crying?"

You lean against the crutch, wipe at your cheeks with one hand, dry your fingers on your shirt and pluck the book from under your arm, holding it up wordlessly. Eddie's face lights up in a big, wide, gorgeous smile. Now there are dimples you want to explore. Suddenly the floor is moving.

"Easy, easy." Warm hands steady you. You hear the door fall close behind you and then it finally dawns on you.

The dreamy guy from inside your phone is inside your flat.

He's holding you steady by your shoulders on outstreched arms, searching your face with big, incredibly dark eyes.

God he's fucking beautiful.

"You gonna faint, beautiful?"

You shake your head. That's all you can do.

"I'm going to use your very understandable shock to ramble for a moment, okay? Okay. The obvious first. What the fuck am I doing here without invitation? Offering you my help. I rearranged all my shit and I can stay for two weeks, if you like. I have a hotel room booked and ready if you don't want me to stay the nights. Next: Why didn't I ask on the phone first? Because I kinda feared you would just say no and be all tough and stupid about needing help. I am way more charming in person and I was counting on me actually being here, a real guy, showing you that I mean it, would make it easier to convince you... Am I pushy? Yeah. I guess I am. But... if you really want me to piss off again, I will piss off. We pretend that I was just getting back my book because you're not fit to get to the post office right now and I'll never bother you again... but I could stay and make you dinner while you tell me which part of the book made you cry, decide over my fate when you're fed and calmed down? I left a whole load of food with your neighbor downstairs. Nice lady. Thinks you're a stubborn thing, by the way."

You swallow around something enourmous and try your vocal cords on something simple.

"Hi."

He tilts his head, smiles softly.

"Hey sweetheart."

You inhale deeply. Your exhale either carries bravery or invites doom but suddenly you're really, really hungry...

"You're really here."

"Yeah, shit, I know... to be honest, my knees are really wobbly right now?"

"You're crazy."

"Hmm, totally... bad case... started about a week ago..."

And there you see it. He's nervous too. That finally makes him real.

"So," you say, reaching out to cup his cheek, your touch coaxing out those dimples again. "What's for dinner then?"

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #long fics I will never write #my fic

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xxlovelynovaxx · 4 months

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The whole point is you don't know if they're fem cis men. You don't know if they're trans men. You don't know if they're trans women deeply closeted for their safety. You don't know if they're trans women whom misgendering will drive them further AWAY from their egg cracking and harm them. You. Don't. Know.

Misgendering is bad. "Clocking" someone is bad. Making assumptions about someone's identity and then turning it into a "joke" is bad. What's funny about misgendering someone?

Also, this discourse is literally in the context of the queer community. It's literally in the context of the queer community having an antimasculinity and gender essentialism problem. It's also in the context of gender stereotypes and the fact that smelling like flowers or painting your nails making you a girl doesn't become less of a harmless stereotype because it's a trans woman saying it. Like oh wow we went full circle from "girls play with dolls and like pink" to "trans girls play with dolls and like pink". Congrats on alienating every non-femme trans woman and femme trans non-woman.

It's not fucking transmisogyny to tell you not to misgender people or assume liking frilly things makes someone a girl. It's not fucking transmisogyny to tell you that the QUEER and especially TRANS communities have an issue with valorizing femininity while demonizing masculinity. It's not fucking transmisogyny to acknowledge this while acknowledging that actual transmisogyny demonizes transfemininity while infantilizing and erasing transmasculinity.

I'm putting the word transmisogyny on a high shelf until the rest of y'all learn what it actually fucking means. Transmisogyny isn't when an entitled white trans woman gets called out for doing actual harm. Like "joking" about misgendering someone. Or "joking" about being racist and going through a "nazi phase". Or "joking" about "raping cuntboys". It might be affirming that some queer people take your white woman's tears at face value, but here's the thing:

You're lovely women who deserve to have every access to transition, to resources, to be treated equally to cis people. You're just really fucking shitty people. You're bigots, you're cruel, you're cliquey, and you're like every boring high school mean girl who never grew out of pettily bullying other vulnerable people to get over the pathetic inadequacies of your own life circumstances.

People like that deserve community and kindness too. They also deserve not to have their behavior tolerated and to have to deal with compassionate rehabilitative justice. Those things can both be true, especially when the people they are hurting explain until our throats are raw how they're hurting us and they just keep doing it. Because the thing is, it's not actually about any "societal pressure to transition", and the fact you think it is shows you haven't listened to a single actual criticism anyone has had of the whole "egg discourse".

Other people have already explained more patiently and eloquently than me what exactly the problem with calling someone an egg is. I'd think you'd be concerned minimally with how it hurts actual transfem eggs more than anything, even if you don't care about how it very much does hurt transmascs and GNC cis men and the movement of transfeminism as a damn whole to insist "haha liking fem things=woman".

Explain what's funny about that. I'll wait.

Anyway, this was reblogged from someone I long ago considered a friend, someone I thought was better than this. I really thought most trans people were better than this when I first entered the community. I still hope some are. You deserve to be told that this is wrong, because you deserve to be reminded that you're better people than this kind of bullshit.

-your utterly over it neighborhood intersex transneufemmasc

#I AM a fucking trans woman and you'll never fucking convince me that joking about misgendering people is okay #regardless of their actual identity #or that joking about clocking people is okay #or the harm this does to actual eggs is okay #or the harm this does to transmascs and GNC folks is okay #or the ways this sets both cisfeminism and transfeminism back to the fucking 90s at least is okay #y'all are as bad as bigoted comedians clinging to the same unfunny jokes and crying bigotry just bc people tell you it's bigoted #like seriously y'all fucking get over yourselves #discourse cw

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 18 days

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Hello resident Eridan expert! 0u0 I was wondering if you thought he might get on well with Aradia? Thank you for your time!

Actually yes! In moderate doses. After Eridan's character development. The list I like to keep of his platonic friends, from most to least close to him, is like.

Nepeta -> Dirk -> Feferi -> Vriska -> Aradia -> Other

So I already talked about how he and Nepeta seem like they'd actually make for really good friends - the Heart player who can't help but see the good in him, and Eridan liking nice people and the fact that the two of them have a lot in common. I've also made mention before about how I think he and Dirk would have an extremely lethargic, almost transactional bro-ship where they sometimes beat each other to death. A completely neutral friendship, where they do not make each other better OR worse, they just help each other take the edge off the Prince Ennui. Using extreme violence.

He and Feferi are also not so different, and, honestly, they're childhood friends. She's pretty fond of him, and he's TOO fond of her, but after his character development and he fully gets over her, I think they'd be perfectly decent friends. He and Vriska have much the same deal, but I think their personalities mesh slightly worse than his and Feferi's.

If you're wondering why Kanaya isn't on this list, it's because she hates his dumb ass and always has. I think Eridan thinks he's really good friends with Kanaya. Kanaya has literally never respected Eridan even a little bit. Same with Rose. It's really funny.

So Aradia is kind of the last person out of the characters that I think I'd emphatically call "Eridan's Friend." Everyone covered in "other" tends to be people who are everybody's friend (like John) or basically tolerant of his behavior in small doses (like Dave).

With Aradia specifically, there's a few factors to consider; first of all, she has a pretty negative view of highbloods in general, calling them "hateful sn0bs" at one point. She's a lot more tolerant as the stewardess of the afterlife, because Alternia's gone and everyone else is dead, but I think it should still stand that she'd be sensitive to anti-casteist sentiment, since casteism colored so much of her life back when she was, y'know, alive.

But the reason I think they'd work as friends is because Aradia has a bluntness and straightforwardness about her that happens to mesh well with Eridan's suite of issues. He's actually fairly easy to manage if you're fully honest with him and set and maintain very clear boundaries, because he doesn't catch social cues, but also doesn't really see naked hostility, bluntness, or aggression as bad things.

And Aradia can be viciously sarcastic, but her natural tendency is to be very blunt and honest and call things the way she sees them. This means that if she's ever too annoyed by Eridan, she will let him know that as bluntly as humanly possible, and then happily fuck off, with Eridan generally no worse for the wear (although he may have a negative reaction in the moment. But Aradia's self-possessed enough to not really give a shit as long as she's not in the wrong).

The main issue between them is that I think Aradia would believe Eridan IS a nasty, casteist highblood, unless somehow given reason to interact with him for an extended period of time. Eridan didn't really talk to the lowbloods, and the two generally had no reason to interact, so she'd basically have no reason NOT to believe him when he starts spewing bullshit. Moreover, Eridan's the type of aggressive idiot that would outright admit that if they'd FLARPed together, there was every chance she'd wind up orphaned or dead (this is just a neutral fact to him), and then comment that maybe it wouldn't have mattered because she wound up dead anyway (again, just a neutral observation to him). Writing Eridan mostly consists of coming up with words that make you cringe.

Aradia is smart enough that I think any extensive conversation or time spent with him would make her realize how performative his casteist stuff is, and how little he actually cares about blood color. Since she generally never had reason to interact or care about him before (not even her friends are friends with him), this would pretty much shift her opinion from "idgaf about him, seems like a snob like the rest of the highbloods" to "oh... he's funny as hell. what's wrong with him".

Once she figures out that he genuinely doesn't mean any harm or offense by the awful dumb shit he says, I think she'd be willing to engage with him on mutual interests (they both FLARPed, so they're presumably both roleplayers, and they could probably bond over death - something Eridan is unfortunately obsessed with and Aradia doesn't have many discussion partners over). Emotionally, she'd probably keep him at arm's length - he has a lot of Issues and Problems, and she's not really interested in helping him handle them (she doesn't really bother with trying to cheer people up on the bubbles so much as just explaining what they can do now that they're dead, and letting them make their own decisions). Not that she isn't a nice person, but I do think it'd just be kind of difficult for her to have too much sympathy for a guy whose problems were largely caused by being too aristocratic.

But, like, she would also pretty happily call him "her friend," because she always cuts it short when it gets too real for her, minimizing her negative experiences with him. I think eventually, like training a dog, Eridan would figure out that Aradia is just Not The Friend For That, so it'd become less of a problem as time goes on.

She thinks he's ridiculous and funny, calls him up when she wants to infodump on someone and her usual buddies aren't around, and I think they'd play good DnD together with Nepeta and Vriska. Yeah I know Vriska killed her but she killed Vriska so they're even. The energy at the table is deeply weird but Eridan wouldn't notice and Aradia would get a kick out of it, leaing poor Nepeta to suffer it alone.

Anyway, I love that Eridan's assortment of platonic friendships is so haphazard. Nepeta AND Feferi, who hate each other. Vriska AND Aradia, who killed each other. And also Dirk is there. He's the DM.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #aradia megido

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batneko · 11 months

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A couple people suggested an Arranged Marriage AU when I was asking for bowuigi ideas, but it took me this long to come up with a plot (sorry (not sorry) in advance if this one also gets really long).

Mario and Peach finally tied the knot, and Bowser is fine. Really. He doesn't care. He just doesn't feel like moving or leaving his room or eating anything but junk food. He's FINE.

And then one day a bunch of little pea people pop out of one of the caves and tell him they've got a prophecy that states their champion needs to marry the strongest ruler in the land in order to save the world at some unspecified future date. If he was a little less depressed Bowser would probably call bullshit, but right now he doesn't care enough to protest and the idea of marrying some random pea at least sounds better than being alone.

So he follows them into the caves and meets his "bride" (or groom? It's hard to tell under the giant veil) who seems startled to see him but doesn't say anything. Then Bowser has to go through a bunch of weird trials to prove he's the strongest, while the peas and their champion watch.

At least the champion is bigger than the rest of the pea people. That would have been awkward.

Bowser passes the trials easily and is shoved into a room with the champion to wait while the wedding is prepared. (Again, if he was thinking clearly Bowser would probably notice how much this screams "trap," but he isn't.) He does notice that the champion is staying as far away from him as physically possible in the small room, so Bowser tells them they've got nothing to fear from him.

"I'm not expecting anything. I won't make you DO anything. I just want somebody to stand by my side. If you can promise me that, there's just about nothing in the world I won't give you."

The champion calms down after that, and soon the wedding begins.

It's not a ceremony Bowser is familiar with, but he says yes in the right places, and the champion does too (is that voice a little familiar?) and at the end when Bowser lifts off the veil he sees a face that is pretty damn close to the last one he wanted to see right now.

Luigi is not entirely sure how he ended up in this position. He met the pea people some time ago and helped them with a small issue that had them granting him honorary membership into their community. He forgot about it after that until a group of them came and said they needed a champion, and asked him to attempt some trials. He wanted to refuse, but he's been feeling pretty lonely now that Mario is married. He could still drop in to visit, but it feels like intruding. And Mario hasn't been coming by very often at all.

So he did the trials and the pea people were overjoyed and he was starting to feel better until they said he needed to marry a king. Luigi DID refuse then, but the pea people showed him the prophecy carved into the cave walls, and he's been involved in enough destiny BS to not dismiss it out of hand. Maybe it won't be so bad?

Until he saw Bowser. Who... kind of looked like shit, actually. Even when doing more of those dumb trials (funny how they seem to be catered precisely to what Luigi and Bowser are both best at) Bowser looked like his heart wasn't in it. When Luigi heard that speech about just wanting someone to stand by his side, Luigi realized Bowser must be even more lonely than he is right now. HE actually DID lose someone he loved to that wedding.

So Luigi can't bring himself to tell the truth and break his heart. He goes through with the wedding and is already thinking about the logistics of moving in together when Bowser sees him and flips the fuck out.

Luckily(?) it turns out the wedding was, in fact, a trap, so when Bowser rips up the altar and throws it at a wall, it makes the pea people think he's onto them. The fight that ensues is enough that Bowser snaps back into something like his usual self, and Luigi is able to cover for how confused he is.

Luigi feels betrayed, Bowser feels humiliated, but at the moment they are very much united against the ones who used them.

Bowser starts picking guys up and threatening to eat them (he wouldn't, he hates vegetables), until somebody confesses that the prophecy is real... but the threat the champion and the king were supposed to defeat was the pea people themselves. They were planning to take over the world, and the wedding was supposed to be a distraction so they could eliminate them both at once.

Luigi leads Bowser to the carvings on the wall he'd seen before. Sure enough, there's one of what looks very much like the wedding ceremony they just had. The terrified pea person translates the inscription, which says the union will uproot all but the smallest peas.

"So you KNEW getting us together would ruin your plans, but you did it anyway? I'm starting to feel dumb for getting fooled by complete idiots."

There are still two problems. One: Bowser didn't make a secret of the fact he was leaving to get married, so when he goes back home he's going to have to explain why he's still... not. And two: the prophecy hasn't actually been fulfilled yet, there's still more pea people out there with megalomaniacal ambitions.

Luigi proposes a solution to both: why doesn't he just go with him? Stay by his side, just like he promised?

"You're crazy," Bowser says. "I know," Luigi says. "But think about how funny it will be to tell my brother." "...That will be funny."

It is.

Luigi settles in surprisingly easily. He gets his own room, a new wardrobe, and, once Bowser learns he likes to tinker, a workshop. The people don't mind him (a fair number don't seem to recognize him as Mario's brother, which hurts a little but saves trouble). He even gets along with Junior. Once he brings his dog over he's practically the kid's favorite person.

It's pretty much exactly what Bowser wanted. Luigi is devoted to his duties as "prince consort," always appearing next to Bowser in public and giving the illusion of a united front. If he actually argues with Bowser about a lot of his policy in private, nobody needs to know. Somehow, Bowser doesn't mind.

But it's torture, too, because Bowser has never HAD a real partner like this. Someone who supports him but can still disagree with him. There's a period of about a week where Bowser thinks this is working and will last and he can be happy.

Then they're talking about whether or not to have a traditional koopa wedding as well, and Luigi cracks a joke about how he sure hopes the pea people didn't have that rule where a marriage isn't real until you consummate it, because then they might actually have trouble when the prophecy kicks in.

And Bowser realizes he really really would like to consummate this marriage.

Shit.

#bowuigi #luigi #bowser #super mario bros #bowigi #bowluigi #green shell #luwser

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lixzey · 5 months

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Letters

warnings: mentions of therapy, grief, child abuse, keeping a child in a basement, starvation and malnutrition of a child, mentions of bruises, mentions of child protective services, bullying, and hospitalization

a/n: PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION ‼️‼️‼️This has very detailed scenes which may not be suitable for everyone. The last five letters will be the same, so heads up!

The Thirteenth Letter

Timothée stared out into the window, taking a deep breath as the plane soared through the clouds. He knew he had to continue reading the rest of Y/N's letters, as painful as it might be. He was terrified; there was no denying that. The mere thought of a young Y/N going through more suffering made his stomach churn, but he needed to know more. He would find her, protect her, and be there for her in any way he could. He couldn't change the past, but he could certainly make a difference in her future. He had to be there for her, to listen to her, to support her, and to show her that she wasn't alone anymore. Timothée swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to make sure that she felt safe and loved.

Timothée took another deep breath before opening the thirteenth letter, dated August 11, 2023.

Dear Timothée,

Sorry, this letter took a long time to write. I got caught up in therapy. I have a new therapist; her name's Gina.

She asked me about the letters since I had mentioned them to Julie before and they were written in my file. Gina asked me if the letters were helping me, and of course I said yes. She asked if I could show her one, and I did. She took it and ripped the letter into pieces, right in front of my eyes. I honestly didn’t know how to feel; I just stared at the pieces of paper on top of the table.

Gina said a lot of things about coming to terms with my past in a natural and slow process and that maybe these letters weren't helping as much as I thought they would. Writing to you was riling up those painful and bad memories, only making me feel worse. She also mentioned that false hope wasn’t good for me, which is bullshit because I don't really hope for anything anymore.

I know you won't reply. I know you won't even read any of my letters. Hell, I know you won’t ever receive any of the letters I wrote. I just like to pretend that you do, that's all.

After the 'session', Gina gave me a pamphlet. It was 'How to Deal with Grief and Coming to Terms with Loss'. It was shit, really. Because one of the bullet points says to talk about your loss with another loved one. Funny, because all of my loved ones are dead. So here I am, talking to you, because you are the next best thing.

So anyway, here's the continuation of the story of my fucking life.

I still spent the rest of my days down in the basement—locked up alone, scared, and nearly dead. I was sickeningly thin from malnutrition and dehydration. Bruises littered my body in all shapes and sizes; I had scratches all over—out of frustration and skin irritation from allergies, since I didn't get the chance to fucking clean myself. Every day, I prayed for some kind of miracle to set me free from that living nightmare. I didn't know how much longer I could survive in that hellhole. I could hear my aunt's voice upstairs every night, laughing and carrying on as if I wasn’t three feet under her house. It made me sick to my stomach to think about how she could go about her life while I suffered down below.

It didn't get any better, until my eleventh birthday came around. Honestly, I didn't know how long I was down in the basement. I had lost track of time, but it felt like I had been down here for years. Then one day, my aunt just dragged me out of the basement and shoved me into a bedroom upstairs. It turns out a social worker was looking for me. I was eleven, and the school year had just begun, but I wasn't at the local school, so child protective services got worried. My aunt got to work fast; she made me look as if I wasn't abused—that I was a normal and happy kid living with her. She did a fucking great job, I'm not gonna lie—she covered each and every blemish on my body with foundation and concealer—fucking impressive. She bought clothes, toys, and everything a child would need just so she could avoid getting arrested for child neglect.

When the child protective services came again, I was forced to act like everything was alright and that I was in a happy home. I desperately wanted to tell the social worker the truth. I wanted to scream so badly and just run into the social worker's arms and beg her to take me away, but I couldn't.

My life got a little bit better after that day, though. My aunt was forced to let me stay in the room upstairs rather than the cold basement downstairs since child protective services visited me every week. It was easier for her to let me stay in the bedroom than to make me look decent every time. I was never to leave the room unless necessary, not that I wanted to leave the room with my aunt around the house. I still got the bare minimum from her—I still got her scraps of food, but it was better than nothing.

Then middle school happened.

At first, I was excited to make friends with kids my age; I never had any growing up since I usually stayed at home with my parents and there weren’t really any kids in the neighborhood I grew up in. So, naturally, I thought that making friends would be easy.

I was too fucking stupid to believe that it would be easy. I mean who was I kidding? Middle schoolers were fucking mean—well, not high school mean, but you get the point. I was bullied relentlessly, and I always dreaded going to school; it was torture. The kids in my class always made fun of me, calling me names and treating me like shit. I was the freakishly thin girl who always wore baggy clothes that no one wanted to be friends with. There was this one time when this girl—her name was Claire—tripped me in the hallway, and I crashed into the janitor’s cart. Bleach and other cleaning chemicals spilled everywhere—on my skin, on my clothes, and in my hair. It burned my skin so badly that I had to be taken to the hospital to get treated properly. Until now, I still have burn scars on my arms and neck area. I had to wear long-sleeved shirts to cover up my arms, though in the long run, the burns weren’t the only reason why I covered my arms up.

I just wanted a normal fucking life, but life decided to push me into a living hell. Was that too much to fucking ask? I’m so damn tired, Tim. I don’t think I can live like this anymore. I’ve been through so much, and what’s written in this letter isn't even half of what I’ve gone through.

I think it’s about time to stop writing, don’t you think? As if you’d answer me, God, I never fucking learn.

Maybe Gina does have a point. Maybe these letters really are making everything worse.

All my love,

Y/n.

Timothée sighed, folding the letter and tucking it back in its envelope. He wanted to let her know that he was—in fact, listening—granted that it was a year late, he was listening. The pain and suffering she went through were unimaginable, and the guilt he felt for not being there for her when she needed him most was killing him. If the letters had just arrived earlier, he would have done anything to make it all easier for her.

“I hope you're still here, Y/n. I hope you didn't give up.”

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @tchalamss @ashlynnmalfoy @imnotoverlyobsessive @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif @sthkate @ferrjulie @mel-vaz @elsagreeer @lovely-maryj @meowmeowmau @bobthe-turmpetman29 @saintcosette @ashisabitgay @ladyladybuggg @nyrasunderwrld @lizzxoxo @remussbitch @jadahxx @starrystormwritings @ell0ra-br3kk3r @dreary-salem @drewsandsebastianswife @greenapplegrass @lilianelena39 @danni-phant0m @haybellewrites @cloudlst @si4a @ev3ningrain @ttulipwritezz @bambikitten @bullets-from-another-dimension @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @reg-arcturus-black @abruuinlove @marina468 @3stelar @timhalamet @st4rf00k3r @idli-dosa @jimins15thhair @blacksgarden

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