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spacebarbarianweird · 4 months

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something i've found that really doesn't get much attention are drow elves. my first Tav was a seldarine drow and she faced so much scrutiny and verbal backlash just for simply existing, even though she was a follower of eilistraee and lived on the surface. would you happen to have any HC's (SFW or NSFW i'm not picky) about astarion with a Drow elf?

Drows are fucking interesting, people shouldn't ignore them! Especially this rivalry between Lolth-sword drows and Seldarine Drows, who refuse to bow before the Spider Queen.

And since I am in angsty mood, I will write some headcanons abour poor Drow!Tav who pissed Lolth and became a Drider.

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Drow!Tav

You are an outcast who denied Lolth and embraced the old Seldarine gods of your ancestors.

Your eyes are red, and you can see in the dark.

A native to Menzoberranzan, you were inspired by stories about Drizzt Do'Urden.

Who'd denied Lolth, fled the city of slavers, and left to see the world outside the Underdark.

Of course, as a woman, you have nothing to fear. You are a daughter of a matriarch, an heiress. Why leave the city? Why embrace struggles?

Drizzt was a man, after all, and men are worth nothing in the eyes of the Drow women.

Still, you left.

And saw the sunlight for the first time in your life.

It burnt your eyes and left terrible sunburns on your delicate dark skin, but it was the happiest day of your life.

You got a hood and glasses, and some people think you were a vampire.

Actually, sometimes it's better to pretend you are a vampire than tell the truth about being a drow. Especially, to the elves.

But you are still very afraid. You are afraid of Lolth, who can get you and do something awful to you.

You find yourself with a tadpole in your brains - a tadpole that promises to save you from Lolth and your own kin.

You share your fears with Astarion - who also sees the tadpole as an opportunity to free himself from his evil master.

You actually have a lot in common. You understand his awe when he faces the sunshine - you felt the same when you left the Underdark.

And stories about Drizzt! You are two absolute fanboys!

He's read stories about him, and you grew up in his homecity. You even personally know people who knew him (and you are a bit related).

You talk about every single story about him, building theories and discussing facts.

And Astarion makes you tell him about Menzoberranzan. And the Underdark. And drows.

Besides, he has his racial stereotypes, you have yours.

By telling him this, you realize how much you miss your homeplace.

Of course, the surface is nice, but you notice your sight is getting worse and the skin suffers under sunshine.

When you face Oblodra at the Moonrise Towers, she orders you to give her Astarion, considering him your slave and concubine.

You refuse. One of the reasons you left the Underdark was because you hated that men were treated like something less than women (and gender inequality sucks in every form).

Of course, there is a lot of talk about boundaries. As a drow female, you love being in charge, you've been raised like that. Women rule, men obey.

Difficult to change.

Astarion, let's say, is ok not to be in charge, but he just stops talking to you if you command or order.

At the same time, it's something new for you as well. You've had lovers back home, obedient men, smaller in size and weaker in strength.

Having relationships with a man who isn't like that is something new.

When Astarion refuses to ascend and confesses he is afraid to lose his immunity to the sun, you take it as a sign.

Time to return home.

No matter how you love the surface, Astarion will be safe in the Underdark.

And all these spawns who owe you two their freedom. They can become your personal army, should you decide to start a war against the Spider Queen and her minions.

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

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akirameta84 · 3 months

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i mildly despise when people use gendered pronouns for the vessels in fics without a plot relevant reason. they are genderless beings explicitly said to be so by the developers, and the fact that Hornet identifies as female is out of the ordinary enough, at least for vessels and vaguely related kin, that she was called The Gendered Child and this representation is important to some people

i would love to read about them having gendered pronouns as a result of them learning to be more open and wanting to express themselves and their identity and finding a way to do so after learning about their sisters childhood nickname or something along those lines

i do not want to read a fic and the hollow knight or little ghost are just suddenly male with 0 explanation, not in the notes or tags or previous chapters (and its ALWAYS male too. ugh)

#mild pet peeve of mine #hk #hollow knight

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bonefall · 8 months

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Clan Culture: Familial Terms and the Mi/Ba System

[ID: A brown tabby and a ginger tabby laying together]

A Clan is a large, extended family of cats, knit together by blood and mentorship. In Clanmew, a Clan directly translates to "Whole Family"-- Ulnyams, further divided into an individual cat's Gan (birth-kinships) and Nyams (created-kinships).

Because of the ancient cultural practice of Kitten Stealing and its modern-day replacement, the Queen's Rights, Clan cats have developed a surprisingly progressive view of adoption. There are many ways that couples incapable of producing their own biokits can find children to raise, leading to the Mi and Ba System.

The Mi is the primary parent of the kittens, the one who is the "legal" decider of the important choices regarding the children. The Ba is the secondary parent. These are not gendered; it does not matter who gives birth in this situation, if either of them even did.

Glossary:

Kin: Gan vs Nyams

Parents: The Mi/Ba System

Types of Love: Friendships, Mateships, In-Laws

Offspring and Siblings: Runt-ness, Litter Order

Gan Starter Set: Auncles, Cousins, Grandparents

Ancestors and Beyond

FAQ (Last Update: 10/5/23, Mi/Ba questions)

Kin: Gan vs Nyams

Blood relation is simply Gan. Historically, this would apply to the family of whoever raised you before you were apprentice-aged, the point where "Clan Loyalty" was supposed to set in. Gan includes everyone within three degrees of separation; Grandparents, auncles, and first cousins.

In a Clan, which is supposed to act as a whole family, Gan that "clots" can become a danger to the fabric of society. Mentorships serve an important purpose in "breaking" the coalition that Gan naturally creates, encouraging relationships outside of the bubble.

The rough Clanmew term for "nepotism" is Byykabrawk/Byykabraw/Byykabr-- the 3-stem verb for "Scab-forming."

Nyams in contrast is the relationships forged through life, and applying this term is a choice. Nyams is applied to most of your Gan, a good mentor, apprentices you remain close to after their graduation, and beloved friends.

Nyams is largely considered more important than Gan, both for the health of the Clan overall and for the ability to 'cut' bad Gan out of your family... but cats have their own stances on this. There are some that even argue that unchanging Gan is always above the conditional Nyams.

Keep your ears pricked for this mindset; it can be an indicator of deeper, more hidden beliefs.

Gan = Blood-kin

Nyams = Family-kin

Byykabrawk/Byykabraw/Byykabr = Scab-forming/Nepotism/Loyalty to one's blood over one's Clan

Parents: The Mi/Ba System

The one constant for all Clan kittens is that they are expected to have a Mi.

A "Mi" is a primary parent, the one that spends the most time in the nursery looking after the kitten. This is a non-gendered term; there are many reasons why a non-birthing parent may be the Mi of their litter. It also doesn't necessarily refer to whoever suckled the kittens.

There will be one Mi. To have multiple cats 'competing' over being a Mi is not considered a good or 'cute' thing, at best it means that one of the parents is unnecessarily shirking on supporting the Clan and their mate, and at worst, it means they're using their kittens as pawns in a domestic argument.

Two parents that, for some reason, have nearly equal time split between their kits will typically choose one parent to take 'Ba' for clarity.

In the case of a Mi who can't be responsible with their kits, such as if they become sick, die, or commit neglect or abuse, the Ba is socially expected to become the Mi. A terrible Mi can even be "evicted" from the nursery entirely, if they were particularly cruel to a child.

(BB!Rainflower is an example of a cat who earns this punishment.)

The "Ba" is a secondary parent, but still one that is actively involved in their child's life. Ba can also spend time in the nursery and take their duties a bit easier. In the case of polyamory, there can even be multiple Ba!

Mi Limit = JUST ONE.

Ba Limit = As many as you want.

A cat that spends no time with their children is not a Ba. To try and imply that a bioparent that did not raise their kids is a "Ba" is something that supporters of Thistle Law do in order to conflate Gan with Nyams.

The title can even be rejected entirely; as Bramblestar did to the Three, and Breezepelt eventually does to Crowfeather.

Relevant biological parents are given the same terms as wild animals that don't care for their young; Usually Mwaow, an egg-laying mother that deposits its eggs and leaves. Though, occasionally Wairre (a buck or boar that had access to several females) is used for "sires" specifically. Wairre is more derogatory than Mwaow.

"Honor Sire" is most often used for a cat that donated material for a pairing to have children, though due to the nature of the Queen's Rights, the true identity of these cats is usually kept secret. The word for them in Clanmew is Kurruaow, Honor-Egglayer.

(In English, Honor-Dam and Honor-Sire are sometimes used depending on if they gave birth or sired, but Clanmew has no distinction.)

An Honor Sire is not a Ba, nor a Mi. Do not use these terms for Honor Sires unless they are specifically co-parenting.

In the case of parents that can't provide milk to their kittens, they will often have a third person step in to nurse the kittens. This person is referred to as a 'suckler', Ssuow. In Clanmew it has a connotation of favor-giving, and can be used outside of parental contexts in that way. A sucklemate is called a Ssuwi.

A mentor, auncle, Educator, den-helper, or any other parental figure who you consider important to your development, yet was not a Mi or Ba, is called a Yyan. It is an honor to be someone's Yyan!

Mi = Primary parent

Ba = Secondary parent

Mwaow = Biological parent, egg-laying animal that doesn't care for its young, slightly derogatory

Wairre = Biological sire specifically, a reproductive buck or boar, very derogatory

Kurruaow = Honor Sire/Dam/Parent

Ssuow = Non-parent who nurses a kit; associated with doing a favor.

Ssuwi = Non-sibling sucklemate.

Yyan = Non-Mi/Ba parental figure.

FAQ on the Mi/Ba system

"are Mi and Ba gendered terms?" no.

"can Mi be used for male or nonbinary cats" yes.

"What happens if the Mi is changed halfway through?" a Ba becomes the Mi

"What if Mi dies when kit is almost apprentice aged" a Ba becomes the Mi

Types of Love: Friendships, Mateships, In-Laws

In Clanmew, love is not is not a verb, it is a noun. You don't love someone like an action, it 'exists' for them. The largest, most powerful word for love is Mirri.

Mirri isn't inherently romantic, but it can be. It's everything. It's concern, compassion, adoration. Love must exist for your Clan, the cats in it, your nyams, and so on.

Other forms of love are "below" the Mirri, contributing to it. Kind of like different springs that spill water into the same pool. EVERYONE contributes to Mirri, just by existing in the fabric of Clan society.

There are FOUR types of love below Mirri in Clan Culture; Ardor (Sseeo), Trust (Wrarri), Enjoyment (Piwarri), and Righteous Love (Yyaawr)

Ardor = Sseeo Passionate attraction, in the 'honeymoon' romantic crush way. Ardor notoriously fades over time. It is considered very powerful, but something that by nature doesn't last. For a good example of Ardor, Fallowtail claimed she had this type of love for Reedfeather when she had his kits, and that is why she has no love for him now. This made perfect sense to RiverClan, home of the Queen's Rights. Ardor that lasts is a rare and special thing.

Trust = Wrarri Personal, platonic affection. Rapport built between friends, mentors, mates, family. It's not until recently that this has also come to apply between Clans, too. A very strong, reliable kind of love; it is considered traitorous to have a lot of this for someone in another Clan. Bluestar had this for the Forget-Me-Nots, and them for her in turn... but also, it was more than Wrarri. It was Piwarri, Sseeo, and even Yyaawr. They were everything to her.

Enjoyment = Piwarri You know when you find someone entertaining? Or you have a particular friend you love playing a specific game with? You wouldn't fight for them, but you may do them a favor, especially if it means you get to hang out more often. THAT is piwarri. This is used a LOT with inter-Clan friendships. Piwarri is considered easy, soft, and friendly, but not strong like Wrarri is. It is something that can contribute to Mirri, but is also not a threat to it. Buddy-love.

Righteous Love = Yyaawr When Firestar received a life "for the love of a mother for her kits", he was getting 20 kilos of this slammed into his face. It's a difficult translation, because it isn't just for a mother and her kits. It's righteous anger at injustice, the fury in seeing smashed songbird eggs. It's the need to protect helpless things. It's love that makes you sacrifice your food for for kittens, or a leader's lives for their Clan. Sometimes, a person's yyaawr for you can be suffocating. It's not always welcome. ThunderClan identified Millie's feeling towards Briarlight as yyaawr. Brambleclaw (though he, obviously, was mostly saying it to upset her) accused Squilf of wanting to receive one-sided yyaawr over mutual wrarri.

Love in Clan Culture can be understood through these four ideas. Family is Trust and Righteous Love. Courting is Ardor and Enjoyment. Co-Parenting is Piwarri and Wrarri. Together, they all form Mirri.

Mate = Irre Someone that you would share a nest with. You can have multiple mates, but it often becomes logistically limited by how big you can make a single nest. They also don't HAVE to be romantic. If you would call them a 'spouse,' they're your mate.

Significant Other, Partner = Iwaw Co-parents, particularly close friends, a metamour of a mate in the case of polyamory... people who are significant enough that you would consult with decision-making, but you wouldn't describe as a 'mate.'

Date/Boyfriend/Girlfriend/"We're courting but not seriously" = Sseerr When you're in a state of ardor or just dating, this is the word you use. It could become serious, or it could just be for fun. When it gets serious, even if they don't end up becoming a "mate", it becomes Iwaw.

And, lastly, there are a few terms for in-laws of each one of these stages, 3 for Irre, 2 for Iwaw, and 1 for Sseerr.

IN-LAWS OF YOUR IRRI (MATE);

Mi of your mate = Rrimi

Ba of your mate = Rriba

Family of your mate =Rriga

IN-LAWS OF YOUR IWAW (Significant Person, this CAN be a best friend.)

Mi of your SP = Iwmi

Family of your SP = Iwga

IN-LAWS OF YOUR SSEERR (Date)

Family of your date = Ssega

Offspring and Siblings: Runt-ness, Litter Order

The average size of a Clan cat litter is 2.5 children (Nia'u), and most parents will have at least 2 litters (Neewarr) in their lifetime. A cat's first litter is something to be very proud of, and the children within it are called Niak. Children of the second litter are Niawi. Any more litters than that are called Nia'eef.

Long ago, stolen kittens who were not from a particular litter were called Kurrnia, "Honor-Children." This word is not used now for reasons that are hopefully obvious.

So, having absolutely no siblings is quite rare!

You refer to all of your siblings as your Firra. The ones from a litter above you are your Kafrrif, below you are your Eefrri, and your littermates are Wifeerr.

So, in addition to having words for an older or younger litter of siblings, there are also words for your size within your own litter. Clan Culture is more concerned if you were a large kitten or a runt than your birth order.

This is because growing up, size would mean you had the upper paw in brawls, to your suckler's milk, and ability to explore the world. A bigger kitten is one that can mature faster. Runts are considered to need more protection and 'babying' to make sure they grow up healthy.

Your larger littermate is your Wikfrra. A smaller littermate is your Weefswa. If you're equally sized, you squabble endlessly over who's REALLY the larger sibling until one of your parents snaps and insists that you're JUST Wifeerr-- similarly-sized littermates.

Nia'u = Child/son/daughter

Neewarr = Litter

Niak = Child of first litter

Niawi = Child of second litter

Nia'eef = Child of third/any more litters

Kurrnia = Stolen kit, rightfully won through battle (Archaic)

Firra = Siblings (Broad term, often assumed to be innately plural and referring to several types of siblings at once)

Kafrrif = Sibling of older litter

Eefrri = Sibling of younger litter

Wifeerr = Littermate (Generic and of a similar size)

Wikfrra = Larger littermate

Weesfwa = Smaller littermate

Gan Starter Set: Auncles, Cousins, Grandparents

Kittens receive a LOT of orbital care. Even if they only have a Mi, the entire camp is expected to become acquainted with the new kits. This one stops a kit from touching a hot soup cauldron, that one explains where clouds come from (starclan ofc), another one keeps them entertained with a funny story.

And, of course, the immediate relatives of the new kitten go out of their way to make sure their new kin is cared for. Is their Mi fed? Are their Bas overwhelmed? Is someone watching them? Grandparents provide advice from their life experience, Auncles make sure their siblings know they're not alone, and Cousins are there to go through it with them.

An Auncle is either your Myami (Sibling of your Mi) or your Byami (Sibling of your Ba). They call their nespring a Rabnif, regardless of their sibling's Mi or Ba status. First Cousins are Rabir.

Grandparents are quite special. While Auncles are defined on if they are your Ba's sibling or your Mi's sibling, the labels of Grandparents are 'looser.'

Your Ami is, by default, the Mi of your Mi... but can easily shuffle around if that specific cat is not present in your life. Like a Ba, your Garrmi is any other grandparent involved in your life who is not your Ami, but is by default the Mi of your Ba or the Ba of your Mi. Finally, a Genrrarg is technically the Ba of your Ba, but more often applies to Grandparents you're more distant with.

And, like Mi and Ba, these terms are exclusive to cats who are in your life. Your father's uninvolved Honor Sire is not your Genrrarg.

Grandparents have two terms for their grandchildren. A Nini is a grandchild that they have a significant role in raising. This is especially common for kittens that only have a Mi and no Ba. "Niauga" implies a bit more distance.

Myami = Mi-Auncle

Byami = Ba-Auncle

Rabnif = Nespring/nephew/niece

Rabir = Cousin

Ami = Mi of my Mi (This can also be applied as a term of endearment. For example, Heartstar is the Ba of her kittens, but Tawnypelt is still Shadowsight's Ami)

Garrmi = Ba of my Mi AND/OR Mi of my Ba

Genrrarg = Ba of my Ba/Someone who is still a grandparent, but not a close one.

Niauga = Grandchild (General)

Nini = Grandchild (That you have responsibility for)

Ancestors and Beyond

Clan Culture doesn't typically track beyond immediate family, using the same general terms for wide swaths of distant relationships.

Great-grandparents, grand-auncles, and distant cousins are Garrmwa. It could roughly translate to "ancestor" or "relative." These are cats that a connection can be made to with some deduction, but are not relevant.

If a cat ever did become particularly close to their Garrmwa, they would replace the title with the closest approximate term. For example, Jayfeather's mentor was his grand-uncle Longtail. After a while, he was simply acknowledged as his Myami, as he was the brother of Squirrelflight's Mi.

A Sharrarram is an Ancestor. A cat of your kin that has joined the ranks of StarClan. This isn't just direct ancestry; this could include the brother of your great-great-grandfather who died of an adder bite as an apprentice.

StarClan refers to its living relatives as Shegarra, "descendants."

Garrmwa = Relative (For relatives that can still be tracked with deduction but are not close enough to be within Gan.)

Sharrarram = Ancestors (For ancient ancestors, beyond modern memory, who live in the stars.)

Shegarra = Descendant

FAQ

Mi/Ba System FAQ

"are Mi and Ba gendered terms?" no.

"What if the Mi dies when kit is almost apprentice aged?" Ba becomes Mi legally, probably doesn't change the words they use.

"What happens if the Mi is changed halfway through the childhood?" Ba becomes Mi legally but family figures out if the kit will change the words they use.

"Can the Mi of the first litter decide they want to be Ba of the next litter?" Yes that's fine! The kids will just use the title that was relevant to them.

#Clan Culture #Mi/Ba System #Better bones au #Familial terms

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genshin-impacted · 1 year

Text

three ways to say goodbye

Never once does Alhaitham ever say the words ‘good-bye.’ (And one time he doesn’t need to.) OR You die in four three different ways; Alhaitham deals with your death differently each time.

Word Count: ~3.5k (one shot)

Notes: Alhaitham x Reader (3+1 fic), gender-neutral reader, Alhaitham POV, major character death(s) (you), ANGST, mainly hurt with comfort at the end, exploratory fic on how Alhaitham deals with grief & death-- his devotion, each part has specific notes

[anticlimatic]

notes: slight description of dead body (you), blood, ambiguous relationship status; implied roommates with Kaveh and Alhaitham, could be ot3 if you squint, mild profanity

Your death came without warning, without rhyme or reason. It doesn't make sense for you to die here, your potential on the brink of being fully realized, your journey cut abruptly before it has even started. As a narrative, your death is almost anticlimactic, unpredictable and hidden away in the forests of Sumeru where the rangers found you, body broken and eyes closed forever. Your wings must have failed you midflight, plummeting you down to the ground without a safety net. If there were any signs of foul play, it is hard to tell; there is so much blood to wash off of you.

Tighnari was the one to set your limbs straight to make you look more comfortable, and Cyno was the one to tell Alhaitham to come and identify your body.

It's only a formality at this point. Cyno and Tighnari-- Alhaitham thinks they would not have let Collei see your body, bruised as it is-- would have been ample identification checks. They know you well, consider you a friend. It may also be a sort of mercy from Cyno to inform Alhaitham of what has happened so he can be one of the first to know, the first to see you.

They know Alhaitham was more important to you than any of them-- Alhaitham included-- could truly understand. So, of course, it is Alhaitham who gets to know first.

Cyno peels back the cover from your head. It must be the least injured part of your body because the only tell-tale sign that you are dead is the stillness of your face. You are the most animated person he knows, even if you aren't aware of it. You constantly move your eyes to see the world for what it is, lips always upturned subconsciously, though Alhaitham can remember the days when you went without for quite some time. It was a trying period for you, but your smile came back eventually, and all felt right in the world.

Alhaitham knows it will not come back this time.

"It's them," he says, though you look far from the person you were when you were still alive. "Where will the body be stored?"

"The Sumeru morgue," Cyno replies. He pauses. "Will you-"

"They have no family. No next of kin." Alhaitham says, "I will arrange their funeral."

Cyno only nods, and Alhaitham watches as he goes to cover your face up with a foreboding sense of dread he cannot place. Cyno does not apologize to Alhaitham for his loss. Neither of them is the type to placate others even in their grief. As for "his" loss? Certainly not just his. You were well loved, a bud in bloom among the vines of the Akademiya with your reputation built from the soil up. Those that knew you will mourn.

Yes, Alhaitham is in mourning, right now, isn't he? Everyone else believes it to be so. Tighnari tells him ‘my condolences' even though his own face is tight with regret, as though he could have single handedly prevented this from happening. He doesn't see Collei but perhaps that is telling enough of her grief. Cyno tells him that he will let Dehya and Candace know, and Alhaitham can only nod in agreement.

Alhaitham thinks he knows the reason for the dread when he comes home and Kaveh is there. His roommate has been pacing around in the living room, Alhaitham can tell. Without either you or Alhaitham present, Kaveh was worried but trying not to think of the worst-case scenario. Alhaitham has to be the one to break the news to him of the worst-case scenario, and he braces himself for the torrent.

If Alhaitham is the person who knows you best, then Kaveh is right behind him. Your death will devastate Kaveh, even if Kaveh does not know it yet.

"You're lying," Kaveh tells him. His face is as impassive as Alhaitham has ever seen. "You're lying to me, and it's not fucking funny-"

"I’m not lying," Alhaitham says. When Kaveh opens his mouth to argue, spit vitriol, call him a liar again, Alhaitham feels his own temper rise, and for a twisted moment, it almost feels familiar, him and Kaveh at each other's throats, except they've never argued over something as serious as this. "I wouldn’t lie about this. And you know it."

Alhaitham expects it to escalate. Kaveh will raise his voice and Alhaitham will too, both of them feeding their animosity into each other like they have never done since their Akademiya days. Even their latest bickering is nothing, and with you added into the mix, it becomes even less than that-- more eye rolls and snarky remarks than anything close to an argument.

But you're gone. So everything is different now, even if no one wants it to be. And when Kaveh's lips begin to tremble, his face falling upon the realization that oh god, Alhaitham is telling the truth, Alhaitham realizes something too. Telling Kaveh about your death was worthy of dread, but the thought that nothing will ever be the same with you gone, makes the foreboding feeling gape and widen.

He will pass by Lambad's Tavern and walk in, expecting you to be there at the third seat of the bar, writing your essay, but you will not. He will sit at the table nearest the window in the House of Daena and read while waiting for you to come and ask him to find a book, but you will not. He will walk home, noise canceling headphones off despite the bustle of the city, because he expects you to come up from behind him, hoping to surprise him for once, but you will never come. He will enter an empty home, quiet and devoid of sound, and instead of being relieved, he will only feel the same heavy dread, knowing you will never come home again.

Alhaitham never said he loved you aloud, and now he never will. Did you know anyways? Without him telling you, did you know that he loved you? Through the way he believed in you, the way he said your name, the times he's helped you, eaten with you, let you sleep on his shoulder and in his bed when you were tired. You knew him best, cherished him more than he could understand. Did you know he loved you like you loved him?

The unspoken questions, the unsaid words. As abrupt your death is, it is permanent, and Alhaitham will have to live life knowing there is an empty space where you once were that will never be filled again.

[stay]

notes: slight description of dead body (you), blood, established relationship

Alhaitham cannot control things that are beyond his abilities to do so. The heavenly principles are far beyond him, beyond even the archons themselves, so it only makes sense that the events that transpire involving them are out of his control.

This upsets him less than most people would think. He's a thinker, calculating each of his steps before implementing them, so it would make sense when he can’t plan out every step of the way. People would be right to an extent, but Alhaitham is logical enough to understand there is no use trying to change something that he cannot. And why waste time being upset over that when he can focus on the things he can control?

Only… he is human, and even he miscalculates. When he thinks of the things within his power to control, he thinks about your happiness, his ability to make you laugh and blush, the ways he can keep you safe. He did not anticipate, as he holds your hands slick from your own blood, that your safety is beyond his control.

"Let me stop the bleeding," Alhaitham tells you, scanning his surroundings for anything he can to help him staunch your wound. You look at him, breathing shallow, his grip not once faltering even as you seem to lose the strength to hold onto him. "Don't fall asleep. Keep looking at me. I'll use my cape for now-"

"Alhaitham."

"I’ll lift your body up," he says, clicking his tongue when his hands slip from under you with the blood. "Tie this around you for now. The Traveler wasn't far from here-"

"Haitham."

"-even Paimon can help carry your legs if you can't walk anymore. I know she can-" Alhaitham stops when you start to push his hands away from your abdomen where the bleeding is most heavy. "What are you doing?"

"Can you," you begin to say, rasping these words as though it is taking every breath to speak, "can you just hold me? Haitham."

Alhaitham shakes his head. "I’ll hold you later.” He tells you, swallowing thickly as you look into his eyes as though searching for something. The next words makes his mouth dry, but he must say it. He must try. “I promise. I have to do this-"

"I can tell I'm not gonna make it."

Alhaitham shifts his legs under him and feels his knees soak in blood.

"Respectfully," Alhaitham says icily, "you may be more well versed with medicine than me, but you aren't at full capacity right now to judge accurately."

You laugh at this. Alhaitham doesn't see how any of this could be funny to you. He doesn't understand you. He never has. But, oh, he wishes he does; wishes he had all the time in the world to get to understand you more.

He feels your hand paw at his wrist, your fingers cold as ice.

You shake your head so slowly, and the smile you give him blooms just as slowly as the Padisarah flower he gave you last week. Your smile is no less beautiful though, no less bright despite it all.

"Maybe." You sigh. "But I’d like for you to hold me anyways. Please?" You say, "I feel so cold."

Alhaitham swallows his protests, because in the end, it is logic that will always win against all else: there is a low percentage that any help will arrive, and Alhaitham cannot do anything to save you.

“Okay,” he says quietly, gathering you up into his arms. Strong as he is, he is so gentle with the way he brings your head to rest against his shoulders, bringing your legs over his lap so he can cradle your body against his to share the warmth. He hears you sigh in relief, though he doubts it’s because you feel any warmer. It is purely comfort that he is providing, until the end.

For the first time since his youth, Alhaitham feels helpless.

“Your eyes are so pretty,” you tell him, words slurring. He lets out a huff of laughter– he feels delirious almost– that is shakier than usual, taking your cold hands and kissing your fingers as though it could bring it some semblance of warmth. “Lots of colors.”

‘Thanks,’ he could say dryly, like he always does. ‘I think I might like yours better,’ he could say; it would get a laugh out of you, and isn’t that what he always wants for you? ‘I love you’ would work too; it always works when it’s you.

Alhaitham opens his mouth to reply, but instead of anything he has planned, he says to you instead with all the desperation in his heart, “Please stay.”

“I love you,” you tell him instead; you always made it sound so easy to say.

In the aftermath, when the dust has settled and those who have not toppled remain, Kaveh finds Alhaitham hours after your death, cradling your body, his face buried into your neck.

[anticipatory]

notes: next two parts have the same back story- you have a leyline curse similar to Dainsleif; some fluff here! established relationship

“How long,” you ask as you lie in bed with him, “do you think I have?”

Alhaitham’s hand stops tracing lines on your back over the curse marks that paint your skin abyss blue. It’s not an unfamiliar question. You ask every once in a while, because you can’t see the progression of the ley line curse on your back, so you rely on him to tell you how far it’s spread.

Based on the growth, which only seems to go faster by the day, Alhaitham calculates you have about another year before it consumes your entire body.

Only six months ago it was invisible to the naked eye. Tonight, the blues spread outward like butterfly wings from the middle of your spine to reach your shoulders. You’ve already stopped wearing sleeveless shirts to cover the marks, but when they go past your neck or onto your hands, it’ll be difficult to justify wearing turtlenecks and gloves all the time while in Sumeru.

“Let’s take a vacation to Shnezhnaya at the end of the year,” Alhaitham says instead. “I have three months worth of sick days and breaks.”

You pause for a moment before letting him guide the conversation away. “Isn’t one of their main cuisines soup dishes? Borscht or something like that.” He hears you say, amused. “You hate soups.”

“It makes it difficult to read,” he explains, tracing lines into your back again. You sigh in contentment as he spreads the expanse of his palm along your shoulders, memorizing the abyssal stars that align along the path he makes. “I can deal with it for a little bit. I can cook something else while we’re there.”

You’re quiet for a little bit, breathing even and steady that Alhaitham thinks you’ve fallen asleep while he was memorizing the dips and curves of your body. You shift when he lifts the blanket up higher over you. He can hear you swallow audibly as though readying yourself to say something, probably to redirect the conversation back to your initial question, he suspects. Before he can say anything, you say with a voice as equally shaky as it is steady, “I’m sorry.”

Alhaitham’s heart stops. “Why are you apologizing?” He asks as calmly as ever when you do not answer, “Because I’ll have to cook on vacation? Not really that an inconvenience, isn’t it? I’m assuming we’ll split the responsibility.”

No answer.

“I wasn’t going to use the vacation dates anyways,” he continues. “And I hardly get sick. Though now that we’re talking about it, three months in one place is a long time. Perhaps we should consider traveling-”

Then he sees you crumble before his eyes, shoulders shaking, face burying into your hands as you start to cry.

Experienced at loving you now, Alhaitham is quick to bring you close. Lucky enough for him, you still melt against him, welcoming his embrace as he coaxes you to turn his way and bury yourself into his nape instead of your hands. He can still hear your apologies mixed between the gasps of air you take, your tears seemingly unending. He holds you steady, voice calm even though his heart is leaping in his chest as it always does when you are upset.

“What’s wrong?” he says, voice hushed. And like every other time you are upset, he asks you, "What can I do to fix it?”

“I don’t-” you say, voice cracking, “I don’t want to leave you.”

“...You don’t know that you will,” Alhaitham says. And it’s true. Neither of you know what will happen for certain. A lone blond traveler with a curse similar to you had passed by and told him of his eventual fate, and you had likened it to your own. But there’s no proof proving the two of you are the same, though it can’t be said that there is no connection between your fates at all.

“How long do you think I have?” You ask again, and he knows he cannot hide it from you any longer.

“A year at most,” he says. Your eyelashes brush by his collarbone when you close your eyes shut. He stops you before your thoughts can even form. “I am not leaving you.” He scoffs and you make a noise of indignation. “Don’t even think about saying something like that.”

“You didn’t let me say anything yet,” he hears you grumble, and he lets a huff of laughter out at the sound of your petulant voice.

“Do you really think I would do something if I didn’t want to?” Alhaitham says dryly, “And what’s the thought process behind me leaving you before you can leave me? I’d love to know.” When you are quiet, he continues softly, “Do you think I am that fragile to fall apart when you are gone?”

“...No,” you say finally. “But I think you underestimate how strongly you feel.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, really,” you say, and your voice is light again, as it always is when you talk about how much you love him. “‘Cause I know better. How much you really feel, even if your face is… like that.”

“Like what,” Alhaitham says bluntly. When you only laugh into his shoulder, he can’t help but smile with you.

If Alhaitham could describe it, it feels like the longest goodbye. ‘Live every moment like it’s your last’ becomes the mantra between the two of you, though neither of you has said those exact words out loud. You love in abundance, laugh in abundance, bicker in full as though you are trying to live out the rest of your lives in one year.

The day Alhaitham takes you to the snowy lands of Snezhnaya is sooner than later, the scarves and gloves worn more days than not. As promised, you two do share the cooking duties for those months, getting cozy by the fireplace and learning how to icefish from the locals. He learns how to barter with the merchants there and commissions the two of you rings to wear. Though he never sees you wear it outside, he can always feel the ring when he holds your gloved hands. He thinks you never take it off.

When Alhaitham returns from Snezhnaya, he comes home alone with nothing but a golden band on his ring finger. The people that know him know better than to ask.

[priorities]

notes: connected background as previous but different ending; fluff! established relationship; happy end

Alhaitham has always been the type to stay in the background. People might be inclined to call him the ‘mastermind’ but that’s giving him too much credit considering how much he wants to remain unknown and unperceived. But he supposes having a hand in toppling the heavenly principles and destroying the castle in the sky and being unrecognized is asking for too much.

“You’re an… interesting guy,” you tell him, a few days after the climactic battle which, fortunately, neither of you had to have a large part in. (Well, there was that key role for you… and another for him, but that is neither here nor there.) You snicker into your hand when he shoots you a strange look.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Alhaitham asks, and before he can continue his retort, you are sitting on his lap even though the two of you are supposed to both be on bedrest, in separate beds. Tighnari is going to kill them if he finds them now that he knows neither of you are going to die any time soon.

“It means you’re an interesting guy,” you say. “The first thing you tell me is that you hate involving yourself into tedious things. And then you get yourself into making strategies to take down literal gods, which sounds pretty tedious to me.”

Your smile is beautific when you look at him, your arms finding their way around his neck and legs over his lap. Instinctively, he puts a hand around your back and holds onto your legs so you don’t fall. He takes a peek at your back and sees that the abyssal blue has not moved a single centimeter beyond your shoulder blades. He knows that was what was calculated, but still, he breathes a sigh of relief upon its confirmation.

“I always make a basic list of pros and cons for a plan,” Alhaitham says. “I just deemed overthrowing gods to be less tedious than the alternative outcome.”

“And what could possibly be more tedious than overthrowing a literal god?” You laugh, looking up at him as though he hung the moon and stars. He thinks if he hung the moon and stars, then you must be the one holding up the sun in the sky.

“Losing you,” Alhaitham says simply. “I’d prefer not to imagine a life without you in it, so I made sure that a life with you would happen.”

Alhaitham knows you are smart enough to know what he was going to say, but you seem surprised anyways, eyes wide and tears welling up at his admission. Perhaps some time ago, Alhaitham would not have believed it would have ever been worth upheaving his life for the sake of another person. But Alhaitham has never been one for halves; the moment he decided to have you in his life, then there was no other option for him.

“I love you,” you say, and he thinks overthrowing gods is an easy choice to make if three words is enough to make him feel this happy, if your arms around him is enough to make him content.

He’s said it before, and he’ll say it again– it’s only a matter of priorities. You just happen to be right on top of that list.

#alhaitham x reader #genshin impact x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham #i think this may be my first genshin angst fic #like the fact some of these parts dont end happily? crazy for me #OFF BRAND i would say #couldnt resist adding a happy part tho :)

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