#for being on this journey with me

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[yellowistheraddest]

I WILL NEVER STOP WITH 'DRAGON LOVE HIS SON AND IS A SILLY GUY' PROPAGANDA!!!!

#HE IS JUST AS SILLY AS LUFFY AND GARP BUT HES MORE SELF AWARE OF WHEN TO BE SILLY!!!! AND BROTHER DONT START ME ON #HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIS KID THIS MAN LOOKS OUT TO THE OCEAN AND GOES WATCHES HIS LITTLE GUY LEAVE FOR HIS JOURNEY GODDAMN IT #one piece #one piece fanart #fanart #art #myellowart #monkey d dragon #dragon op #sabo #revolutionary sabo #sabo op #comic #one piece spoilers #water 7 spoilers #dressrosa spoilers #wano spoilers #girl ive collected all the spoilers with mentioning that sabo is alive dragon being his dad and luffy being an emperor

[lukellios]

What a difference six years makes

#botw #loz #link #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #tears of the kingdom #totk #i cant really say how it feels to look at the difference between these two #botw was such a huge huge part of my growth as an artist #the first isnt “bad” #the concept is cute and the emotions come across well enough! #i remember drawing it and being really proud of it #but wow drawing it again... #its a world of difference #it doesnt even look like the same artist #the new version has so much depth and even more visual clarity #the anatomy makes more sense and holy shit my lines have improved soooo much #thanks for all of your who have followed me since the beginning and watched this journey #thanks for believing i could be this type of artist #lukedoesart

[beaulesbian]

- [Nimona]:You should be questioning everything right now. The will of Gloreth, the Institute, the wall. What's it all really for? - [Ballister]: For protecting the realm. - [Nimona]: Oh, you mean from villains like you? Or monsters like me?

#something something we win!! #and something something all the parallels that make me crazy #nimona #nimonaedit #nimona movie #nimona netflix #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #netflixedit #mine #gif:nimona #gif:movies #all allegories and queerness its just beautiful!! #lgbt #lgbtedit #nimona spoilers #i still have too many thoughts about the whole story #especially nimona's sad realization about the kid being afraid of her bc the society taught her to be afraid of different things #ballister's journey is what makes it all even more visible bc he doesnt trust her at first #and has to unlearn a lot of things but he starts to see her as a person and sees her!! because theyre so similar! theyre the same in a way #and gloreth's journey is similar - where she was told what to think but she didnt question it and immediately turned against nimona #and then the way the director enforces the gloreth's will of keeping them all in something like a cage (wall) without questioning anything #and whover steps out is seen as a threat... yeah just overall really amazing movie.. i have a lot of thoughts

[sivsii]

I sincerely hope every artist gets to have the experience of falling in love with their art someday. even if you have to fight for it. i think we all deserve to look at the result of our creativity all giddy and go holy shit, I loved making this! I love the lines I put down and the colors I used and the indulgences I’ve taken. I love seeing things I liked and taking it for my own, pushing and molding and playing. I can’t wait to do it again

#art stuff #maybe this is just me being all mushy or whatever but GOD #i used to hate my art so fucking much #i used to hate the act of creating so deeply that putting pen to paper knotted up my insides #and I don’t know HOW I grew through that but I did! i genuinely thought it was the end of such an important part of who I am #but it wasn’t! #and now for the last few years I’ve been consistently able to look at my art and feel proud of myself? like holy shit I made this! #i have such good taste! #and there have been times where I’ve hated the process or been dissatisfied with theresult ofc #art is fucking hard #art block and burnout is a bitch #but Ive still been able to look at the sum of my journey and just feel. satisfied. and accomplished #eager for growth but still proud of what I’ve made #idk #we all deserve that someday

[crowsgrudge]

fionna's world being represented by a dandelion makes so much sense ... they're weeds. yet people make wishes through them, changing their whole meaning from something meant to be destroyed to something hopeful.

dandelions are also resilient and it makes sense that something associated with them would. you know. perservere despite the destruction caused by the scarab.

but ultimately i think what REALLY made me tear up over this is that dandelions are really boring plants. when you're a kid you blow on them and make your wish but they're not eyecatching or anything but still, fionna's final wish was for her old world to still exist as it was when she left it (> plain and simple. boring even).

like the moment she realized she would lose her friends, and that her friends might forget each other if the world got its magic back, she immediately decided she didn't want it and I think that ties back to the dandelion metaphor so well... like, do you really need magic to be real to find it everywhere? or can you turn something boring into something magical?

#remi rambles #fionna and cake #f&c spoilers #sorry i have many Not Silly thoughts about the finale #i looove fionna she was such a wonderful character .. so well written and real TO ME #shes my best friend shes my everything shes silly she makes me so emotional #like even when simon told her he was gonna wear the crown to get the magic back to her world #< the moment she realized he would go crazy she started to think about it #like she wont sacrifice a friend just to get what she really wants #i really loved her journey through the show idk #going from being so over her routine > finding out magic can be dark too > making her own magical world just by loving her friends #like its so much more than 'the power of friendship will save us!!' #yes she saved the world thanks to the love she had for her friends but it was backed up by a full journey beforehand #i think. the line about having functional toilets (while still being a p good joke) makes the point so much clearer #we have been to the end of the universe and back but we have functioning toilets !!! #like do u get it. do i sound crazy #< crazy person voice #anyway yes im done sorry #live laugh love fionna and cake

[zu-is-here]

not feeling like a muse on his belated birthday

[1/27] Underlust by nsfwshamecave

#zu art #lust!sans #underlust #lustuary #birthday #undertale #undertale au #utmv #a character: *wears heels* #me: im gonna ruin this man's whole career #teaser #kinda <3 #it's still a lil early but it's getting clearer each new day #today is 5 years of being in this fandom for me omg... so little yet what a journey ★

[saywhatyouwillbut]

what’s so hilarious about min ho and kitty is that he convinces himself she’s obsessed with him, meanwhile she literally could not give less of a fuck until he confesses his love for her on a plane

#i’m sorry but the one-two-three punch #of dae showing up at the airport last minute to say goodbye #then yuri coincidentally being there to pick up juliana #then min ho intentionally booking his seat next to her and fessing what we all knew the whole time #in reverse order of how she saw them on her way to kiss #dae was the journey she made #she ran into yuri along the way #but min ho was the destination #it’s literally the community season 1 finale all over again #i will ship the wlw ship for representation’s sake but min ho being a simp is so funny to me #xo kitty #kittyho #kiyuri #kitdae #kitty x yuri #kitty x min ho #100 #said what you will but #hits ig #i op

[puppyeared]

Started listening to JTTW

#I know like a bit of what happens just from Wikipedia but I never managed to read past the first chapter. not even finish the first chapter #so im using an audiobook and made some doodles on stream to follow along #I think right now I’m at… chapter 4? wukong just finished beating the shit out of me zha and another guy and now he’s officially great Sage #I think after this part he finds out that being great sage is also an empty role and beats the shit out of everyone again + steals peaches #my art #myart #doodles #jttw #journey to the west #to be honest I found lmk and then jttw and not the other way around #lmk #Lego monkie kid #sun wukong

[teenytinyapprentice]

annoying little sister (affectionate)

#alfendi layton #katrielle layton #professor layton #teenytinyart #layton brothers mystery room #laytons mystery journey #layton mystery detective agency #them being siblings is just objectively really funny to me #younger sibling solidarity but also they need to annoy the hell out of each other constantly its the law #aneyways this got a little muddy but i still like it hfkjsdf

[chekovpavelandreievich]

the thing about el higgins is that terry pratchett would have loved her.

I’ve never encountered a character or a series that I could call a spiritual successor to tiffany aching but el is perhaps the closest possible thing. the way that tiffany’s righteous anger is her magic, born from a sense of deeply rooted love and identity with her home and blossoms into a tempered, powerful ability to see what is in front of her. the way el rages against the systems of oppression she can see and how she follows that rage to the very core and from that core she dismantle those systems. how in both doing the right thing is a choice, always a choice, and one that requires choosing again and again and again. “this far and no further.” “you’re already dead but stay anyway.”

#Tiffany and el both have such strong narrative presence that it’s so easy to forget that they are not reliable narrators #they think they are and that’s how the stories function so incredibly well #because we must go through the journey of also being unreliable and learn along with the characters #no shade but this is a narrative choice that I much prefer to the parable-esque poppy wars or babel #the scholomance #el higgins #tiffany aching #naomi novik #terry pratchett #a post by me

[swedenis-h]

Phoenix Tatooine day trip Goes Wrong™️ (X)

This is a little idea where Luke needs something (don’t ask me what) that he can only get on tatooine, so dinluke adventure ensues. The plan is to get there and leave ASAP, but then nostalgia hits and he needs to hit every shop and place he used to as a kid. But you know, “college kids comes back to hometown” syndrome hits and he realizes he’s changed too much. Think of how the holiday season doesn’t feel the same anymore now that you’re an adult, same feeling. AND YES ITS ALSO DUNLUKE BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO KISS AND TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND ALSO KISS.

Heres some extras 🫡

#and also don’t ask me how I feel being back home for winter break!! #it’s irrelevant! #also tangent about Luke’s outfit: #I wanted it to look a little Jedi but also fit into Tatooine #in the fic in my mind he ditches the cape over time the more he embraces Tatooine again but you know #he’s been Changed By The Journey so he still looks like a Jedi #ANOTHER tangent: his HAIR #I have my usual color for his hair and I change it based on where in the timeline I’m drawing him #more blond around ANH more brown around and past RotJ #drawing him with ANH color pallet and his hair doesn’t match it as nicely… pain suffering I hate him why does he hurt me so bad #HE DOESNT FIT TATOOINE ANYMORE DO YOU UNDERSTAND #okay sorry bye #certified yapper over here YEESH‼️ #art #fanart #digital art #fan art #my art #star wars #star wars fanart #dinluke #sw #sw au #star wars au #luke sykwalker #din djarin

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel(ft. Mark Webber & Jenson Button)

#fantastic podium!! maybe my favorite of this season????? #sebmarkson podiums are my fav ever nothing can top them #and both mark and jense were being so cute with seb this race aaaahhhhhhh <333333 #theres something about seb that makes older men want to cuddle him and pick him up and pour champagne on him #haha thank you to dru for showing me seb getting drenched on this podium a few weeks and making me hype for this race!! #this race was very very good as well. like the last laps battle btwn mark and jense was insane #its very good when i already know the results of a race but the racing still makes me sit on the edge of my seat and scream a bit #i mentioned this before but i love how this race felt like an epilogue and it was nice to see everyone having fun and enjoying themseles #thank you everybody for joining me on another season journey!!! it been so much fun. ive really really enjoyed 2009 #brawn is just soooooo cool to me. their story is insane!! im glad ive gotten to watch thru this season before the docu abt them comes out #but also very fun to see the beginning of rbr getting to the top of the field. every good result just felt so rewarding and worth it #anyways dont wanna do too much commentary abt it since ive discussed it a lot. onto 2010 next!!!! i shall miss you 2009 #though i will say. it was rly interesting in this race to hear their team predictions for next season bcs a lot of it doesnt pan out #mark webber #jenson button #sebastian vettel #sebson #martian #sebmark #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1 #2009 abu dhabi gp

[jahe]

Smitten.

#lovely runner #byun woo seok #hello it has been a while #thinking about continuing my gifmaking journey #but making a set only took me so much time #and my pc internet is so damned #that i am uploading from phone #so yeah #anyway here is baby sunjae being smitten around his crush

[br-disaster]

Nie Mingjue's Fatal Journey crying scenes appreciation post

There's no way I wouldn't make this post, but it ended up way longer than I intended.

Fighting with Huaisang

When is this man not tearing up?

This fight is so important for Huaisang's character development and the movie's themes, with Huaisang being ready to challenge and question the Nie ways and Mingjue doing his best to uphold those traditions and keep the peace through the only way he knows how.

But it's still hard to be challenged like this and to face the possibility that everything you've ever known might not be right, actually.

And this gif specifically is from the moment Huaisang questions if Mingjue even knows what they're there to fight and what this supposed great evil that will come to Qinghe if they fail to balance their blades even is. Mingjue has no answer, of course, I suppose he was only taught this and never had reason to question it.

But Huaisang is also talking about the disciples they already 'lost' at this point of the movie, and he says something along the lines of " You don't know anything, you only know how to bring them here to die" and that does it. Because it's both "you can't follow these rules blindly when they rely on sacrificing people" and "you've changed and I don't trust your judgement on these matters anymore".

And as he says it, Mingjue looks at their disciples and he sees the puppets for a moment. And Huaisang just questioned if the other disciples were really attacked by puppets.

So that's a big moment and Huaisang is right, of course, but he doesn't have a confirmation that this is the result of Mingjue's health deterioration yet, so he keeps pushing. And Mingjue doesn't really have a counter argument because he knows what's going on with him, but it must be very scary to hear it from the person you care about the most and realize just how much you're being affected.

(Actually, Mingjue has one counter argument and that is "Well, I am at least trying to do something while you're painting and living a carefree life", and he's not wrong either. Huaisang is right and rightfully harsh, but this is the first time he's being confronted with these difficult choices and all their family history. He can reflect on and question it, but his brother has been meking those hard decisions since he was 14, when did he ever had a break to question and change things?)

Which leads us to

The Talk

After seeing his brother sacrifice himself for him at the bridge, and then seeing Mingjue be so vulnerable and lost, that anger from their fight is gone. They can meet in the middle with "You are right, I wasn't thinking straight, this is not a long term solution and I've failed at changing our ways" and "It's not your fault, you did everything you could but you're not responsible for this situation" and it's very beautiful and heartbreaking.

Mingjue is so remorseful, both because he has condemned Huaisang to die with him and because he feels like he failed everyone and everything (even if he doesn't seem to know what he could have done differently to avoid all this).

And Huaisang's reaction in this scene is so calm it made me think this Huaisang is somewhat used to his brother displaying vulnerability around him. This isn't book NMJ with all his victories, this isn't a man who never let the Unclean Realm be conquered and who could afford to keep Huaisang far away from the war. This is a man who was attacked and subdued in his own home, who had to send Huaisang to the hands of the people who killed their father.

This Huaisang doesn't have reasons to see Mingjue as this unmovable force, he has seen Mingjue hurt and threatened and fearful; and he's now seeing him remorseful and defeated.

(I'm sure Mingjue telling Huaisang about the fact that he's dying and admiting his mistakes and insecurities is something new, especially considering their previous fight, but this Huaisang doesn't take it as a shock, because he knows his brother is only human and there's only so much he can handle. He even, like, explicitly says this)

And so he assumes this calm, reassuring and empathetic posture, because that's what his brother is asking for. And it's the most beautiful thing, Huaisang has so much love for him, so much empathy. And this is Mingjue's reaction to his brother's reassurance that it's okay if they have to die there:

I'm sure Huaisang is still processing Mingjue's "I only forced you to practice because I'll die soon", but he's so good at reassuring his brother.

Because Mingjue just told him "I am dying and I'll go as a failure" and Huaisang insisted "None of this is your fault and you did everything you could and more, and if I have to die here with you today, I don't regret a thing, and you shouldn't either".

There's no despair or anger that his brother is only telling him this now, there's only understanding and acceptance and so much love and they really knew what they were doing with this movie.

His people love him

Mingjue is so moved. He just admitted to Huaisang that he's not in peace with his accomplishments, or lack thereof; that he feels ashamed to face his ancestors, having done so little.

So I truly believe Mingjue doesn't consider himself worthy of this much trust and support. (And I can't ignore how this is tied to the Nightless City situation, where he led the men who trusted him with their lives to a dangerous situation and couldn't save any of them).

As we see in the confrontation at Jinlintai, that technically happens after this movie, that is still a very sensitive topic.

And here he has his loyal disciples saying they will follow him yet again, despite his previous 'failures'; just like Huaisang was ready to die with him. They have so much trust in him, and the way he's nodding a little here, just like he was nodding when Huaisang reminded him of everything he's done for their sect since their father died, is like he's convincing himself of it. That he can do this and he can do this right this time.

And yet

He fails again. And I don't even think he knows it was him who killed those disciples, like some people say. He doesn't need to because it doesn't matter. His men, who followed him till the end of the world, are dead again. And so is the hope he had of doing this one right thing before he dies.

Yes, he supressed the saber spirit like he had to, but they're still dead, all of them.

He falls apart, how could he not?

At some point I'm sure Huaisang his holding all his weight because he just gives up. There's only so much loss one can handle and that's way too much.

And look at the way Huaisang is watching him as he realizes something inside Mingjue shattered forever.

There's so much pain in this scene, it looks physically taxing and I hope people gave Wang Yizhou a break after he shot this. I know it's his job and he's phenomenal at it, but this has to mess with your head a little.

And hey, it's a Huaisang crying scene as well. CQL Huaisang only really cries twice. First he watches his brother have a mental breakdown in his arms after unknowingly killing his own disciples; and then as he watches his brother qi deviate and die, while unable to do anything to either stop or comfort him.

(And a lot of people said there's no hesitation on Huaisang's part when he rushes to his brother's aid when Mingjue is hurt on this post's notes, and that's true for book Huaisang too, because he runs towards Mingjue as he is qi deviating, gets hurt in the process, and still keeps calling for him, which makes CQL's decision to have JGY holding him back kind of cruel, tbh, there's not a Huaisang who would run from a hurting Mingjue regardless of the risks

But at least we have this scene.)

And that's it, I guess. There's nothing uplifting to say about this, really. He just went through a lot and kept shouldering everything until he couldn't anymore. I just wish book NMJ had gotten to receive the same love and comfort and acceptance from NHS before he died, I wish he had been able to tell his brother what was actually happening, but thats kind of the purpose of this movie, so I'm just very grateful that it exists.

It's like that post says, it didn't change anything but the love was there, you know? That's how this movie feels for me.

#nie mingjue #nie huaisang #fatal journey #cql #long post #now this is meta with gifs #sorry i can't even attempt to joke a little about this movie everything is just sad from start to finish #the gifs might look worse than the ones on the other post and that's me not knowing how to deal with fatal journey being so dark and green #that talk they have feels kind of like an absolution for nmj doesn't it #book nmj deserved that too #oh yes we have two tearing up scenes #one crying scene #and one bawling his eyes out scene #on a movie that is less than 1 hour and a half long so he's crying the entire time; really

[nekky-nek]

Will I ever recover from Xemnas saying to be human must take incredible strength? No. No I will not.

#xemnas #kingdom hearts #kh #ansem and xemnas send offs had me feeling for very different reasons #saying goodbye to ansem and the journey from innocence to adulthood #xemnas acknowledging being a human is hard but how incredibly strong we are to keep going #excuse me while i lie down and cry