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savagetrickster · 4 years

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Crushing on You (HCs) | BNHA

Request: First of All, i love your navigation its really unique :) Then mhhh what i wanted to request are just some headcanons about shoto (and other characters u like) in which they get really soft zu their crush or s/o, just some fluffy things that come to your mind when u think about it uwu !and dont stress yourself with anseering this request, take ur time!

anime | character(s): bnha | todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki

word count: 1.9k+

a/n: thank you anon, it took me a really long time to make my current navigation; glad you liked it! sorry for the delay, i’ve been trying to squeeze in writing time between my work schedules and finally managed to complete this as well. Whew! i expanded a little more on your requests while trying not to go off-track hahah! also, i really want to add more characters but time could allow me to write for these two. hope you like my take on how they would behave regarding their crushes! i kinda rushed through this piece so the sentences may not string well together hahah and there may be some errors; it’s not beta-ed.

How did he find out about his crush on you?

Shouto is as smart as a pile of bricks when it comes to anything that isn’t…well, hero stuff? So when he harbored special feelings for you at the start, he wasn’t aware of that. Completely oblivious and hilariously dense about it.

The first few times his heart raced and his cheeks grew warm in your presence, he didn’t make the connection between these and you. He went to see the doctor thinking there was something wrong with his heart and was the reason why his face would feel warm. Nights before his appointment at the hospital, he couldn’t sleep.

It turned out that everything was fine; his heart is perfectly healthy. So the next thing he thought, making a connection to you - is he allergic to you? Or did you have some sort of secondary quirk you kept secret?

Often, he found his eyes gravitating to you, like you were some kind of magnet. You were the first thought he wakes up to and the last before he went to sleep. There were times he felt oddly possessive of you when you talked with the guys.

Despite all these, none of these made him realize his feelings for you. He passed them off as curiosity since you were the only one who made him feel strange.

He only found out why when he shared his suspicion about you - is he allergic to you? Or did you have some sort of secondary quirk you kept secret? - with Midoriya, particularly the latter.

How does Shouto behave around you after his realization? All the years growing up the way he did, having a crush on someone was foreign and bizarre to him. Knowing only quirk-related and hero whatnots with limited social interactions in his maturation years, he was…afraid. Afraid of his own feelings for you. He has no idea what to do and couldn’t face you without accidentally coming off as ‘curt and cold’ to you. He avoided you like you were the plague; he couldn’t help it - he felt like he could combust into flames (lol) from how much you made him blush.

You had always enjoyed Shouto’s company and admired his talents as a hero, sharing an amicable connection with him despite not being in his circle with Midoriya and the rest. You liked him. Liked him too much.

So when he was suddenly blunt and cold to you + very obviously avoiding you, your heart broke.

The day you confronted him out of frustration and with a broken heart, he realized how wrong he was to act like this.

>> a short fic based on the paragraphs above is coming soon!

He didn’t want to hurt you because of his own fears. He apologized to you but decided to keep his feelings for you a secret from you - the last thing you two needed a distraction like this when you should be focusing on forging your paths as heroes.

As he promised, he suppressed his feelings and maintained (struggled to) the way he was with you; simply friends.

But he definitely has a soft spot for you.

He has developed an overprotective streak for you; his eyes were always on you.

he’s always the first to react if you were in danger. And if there were any stimulation exercises with the class, he would be adamant about staying near you, asking whoever who is on your team to switch with him (of course, without you knowing)

He is very attentive about what you liked or disliked. Taking notes in his head like it was his duty.

there was a time when he overheard a discussion between the girls and you, gushing about the types of clothes you girls like to see on a guy. Taking interest in what you like, he eavesdropped and heard you like pullovers on guys. And on the very next day, he bought himself a few, of course using his Endeavor’s credit card, and wore them as soon as they were ready to worn.

He takes very good care of you and is always concern. Too concerned for a mere friend. He is always there to catch you in case you fall.

menstrual cramps? one day, he walked into the lounge of Class 1-A dormitory and found you clutching onto your stomach, obviously in discomfort and pain despite already taken a pain killer for your cramps. You desperately needed a heat pad to help ease the shit your uterus had to put you through every month.

at first he had thought about using his fire quirk to help you but quickly scratch that idea because he knew he didn’t have that kind of control to not hurt you by accident. The only solution is to get you a water bottle of warm water which loses its temperature pretty quickly. from then, he made it his goal to obtain superb control over his fire quirk, even to the extent of asking Endeavor for help in refining his control just for you. So that the next month when you had to go through the same pain, he was ready to use his fire quirk to relieve your discomfort.

fever? shouto caught onto news that you caught a bad cold and were down with a high fever. You laid in the darkness of your room, feeling feverish and your body was burning up. that day, he spent the whole night in your room, tending to you the best he could. Pressed his hand to your burning forehead, ice quirk activated; cool enough to make you sigh but not too cold to freeze you by accident - having only used his ice side growing up, his control is excellent. somehow he ended up holding you, cuddling your feverish head to his body on your bed, regularly activating his ice side to keep his body cool.

When he thinks about his future after graduation, he always include you. In fact, you are part of a much, much bigger picture in the future he envisioned.

it is in his plan to confess to you after graduation. he already knew enough about you, having paid attention and staying near you throughout after he found out that you were special to him. over time, his crush on you wasn’t as simple anymore. Something stronger and more permanent was beginning to bloom in his heart as he continued to safeguard you and watch over you like a silent guardian.

Get ready to adopt he name ‘Todoroki’ in the future ‘cause he’s pretty determined to take things further with you. First, his girlfriend and of course his wife and the mother of his children.

How did he find out about his crush on you?

I would like start Bakugou’s part right off the bat by saying that the expression you see in the heading^ made for him is exactly how he would react once he realized he has a crush on you.

Bakugou here looks like he is in disbelief (as if having such feelings was absurd), bewildered and irked. Yes, damn right he will be irked. He finds harboring such feelings for you or in fact, anyone unnecessary, ridiculous and stupid. He didn’t have time for such a thing.

Bakugou isn’t as dense as Shouto about this sort of things; if he did find his heart pounding around you, he’s sharp enough to know that you had an effect on him and suspect that he has feelings for you, but this doesn’t mean he is going to acknowledge it. He would dismiss it quickly and move on to more important stuff like his goals. One day, he grew really jealous and extremely irritated when he saw two seniors hitting on you while he was on his way to class after lunch with Kirishima and Denki. Surprisingly, he handled the situation pretty calmly despite how irritated he is. He walked forward, speeding up ahead of Kirishima and Denki and smoothly tugged you away from the persistent upperclassmen with a firm but gentle grip around your bicep.

From that incident, Kirishima and (sorry Kirishima is probably pretty dense about this sort of things but of course no one could beat Shouto in this area lol) Denki being a rather perceptive guy when it came to matters of the heart, was quick to pick up on Bakugou’s crush on you. Bakugou kind of grudgingly acknowledge his feelings for you that day. Was it because his friends being pushy, constantly teasing him about it? Or was it witnessing that upsetting scene you were in?

Maybe both? But that did not mean he was going to act on it. He is still pretty stubborn about remaining unbothered about this “useless, pointless sentiment”, quoted Bakugou pretty often to his friends. How does Bakugou behave around you? Bakugou Katsuki is a freaking kuudere - i.e. a character who is often cold, blunt, and cynical. They may seem very emotionless on the outside, but on the inside they’re very caring — at least when it comes to the ones they love. Though he deems his feelings for you a “useless, pointless sentiment”, it has become a second nature to him to worry about you regardless of how adamant he is about “not giving a fuck about you” as he had gruffly said to shut his friends up.

He becomes subtlysoft!Bakugou around you.

he is rather toned-down and mature when it comes to you. his explosive (haha) temperament is milder and he exhibits bits of gentlemen traits around you.

his brash, rough voice softens when he talks to you without him realizing. He is more patient and calmer around you than the rest of his classmates or even his closest friends like Kirishima. he rarely yells at you and addresses you by your name, and not insults he typically used on others e.g. extras, nerd, idiot.

He is protective.

he is always quick on his feet in getting you out of sticky situations most of the time. tied to being subtlysoft!Bakugou in my previous point (duh), he demonstrated his ability to be cool-headed and efficient when he got you out of the situation with the two upperclassmen.

sometimes if he could in stimulation exercises, he would be try to get you to come along whenever he went on his own way with Kirishima and Denki.

“stay close.” he would mutter in a grudging gruff tone as he bashfully tug you along, away from the rest of the class as we all know he always do in the canon.

He is rather thoughtful and considerate when it’s you.

once you didn’t turn up for school and he kept glancing over at your empty desk, concerned. he found out that you were down with a bad cold and was being taken care of by Recovery Girl in the infantry. Exams were just two weeks away so he secretly took down notes for you.

When you recovered, he made fun of Kirishima’s “shitty grades” and somehow managed to get Kirishima to start a study session with you included; his main motive was so he could help you catch up without you learning about his true intentions. (kuudere much, Bakugou -__-)

you are a priority, and eventually a goal as well.

as bakugou matures alongside you and Class 1A through the years, he will gradually accept that life isn’t only about hero stuff, being number one or putting that stupid nerd Izuku in his fucking place. (i love midoriya okay, this is just bakugou being bakugou hahah) Or at least he didn’t want his life to be merely about all that. You were also his goal, in fact, one of his biggest goals. He isn’t exactly a big fan of screeching little spawns of the devils but he could live with it if they were part of a future with you.

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maxrev · 3 years

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OTP Asks - I'm going to be lazy and ask for all of your boys for the following questions: 1, 7, 10, 17, 22, 36, 43. Thank you!

Putting me through my paces here lol. Whew....Thanks though, this was fun!

From this list here

1. Who wakes up first?

Knox x Kaidan - Knox. He doesn’t sleep much to begin with, so is always up before Kaidan. He can’t understand how someone who is such a stickler for rules, can’t drag himself out of bed an hour before his alarm lol

John x Kaidan - neither. They both roll out of bed around the same time xD

Jon x Kaidan - Jon but primarily because he’s such a light sleeper and often gets up to watch the sun rise over the water on the beach. It’s his favorite part of the day.

Niall x Kaidan - Kaidan lol. Niall gives Kaidan a run for his money when it comes to sleeping in. He’s a night owl and stays up late at night. He says he does his best work (winks at Kaidan) at night O.o

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

Knox x Kaidan - definitely Kaidan. Takes Knox forever to realize he even has feelings for Kaidan, then to even act on them. The pickup lines aren’t cheesy on purpose, it’s just Kaidan being...shy and awkward!

John x Kaidan - John without a doubt. In fact, he purposely comes up with THE cheesiest he can think of in order to make Kaidan blush, the crew roll their eyes, and everyone take bets as to what he’ll come up with next ;) His top used one is ‘come here often’ when he ends up in the same place as Kaidan on the ship. The crew mouth the line behind his back because they always know it’s coming!

Jon x Kaidan - hmmm, not sure on this one. Tbh, probably Kaidan just to get a laugh out of Jon as he tends to be too serious at times.

Niall x Kaidan - Niall for sure. Kaidan has a few but Niall beats him every time for sheer cheesiness and ridiculousness. It’s a point of pride with Niall after a while lol

10. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

Knox x Kaidan - neither. Kaidan knows better, so he’s never bothered to try. Knox doesn’t do ringtones.

John x Kaidan - equal. John loves to drive Kaidan nuts this way. Usually, it’s some truly obnoxious rock music, heavy or classic, or something from a very old sitcom, John finds hilarious but Kaidan doesn’t. So, in retaliation, Kaidan will find something he can get back at John with, usually with Joker’s help!

Jon x Kaidan - Kaidan likes to shake things up for Jon and often it’s something Jack has picked out, so it’s super loud and obnoxious xD

Niall x Kaidan - Oh, Niall for sure. It’s always something to do with bagpipes and loud drums ;)

17. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

Knox x Kaidan - Knox. Kaidan tries but Knox is uber organized and will NOT relinquish control.

John x Kaidan - Kaidan. John could care less and Kaidan even goes behind him and makes sure he’s packed everything he needs. More than once, he’s left something important behind.

Jon x Kaidan - Equal. They’re both pretty on top of things when travelling, so it’s usually whoever scheduled the trip.

Niall x Kaidan - Niall will deny he’s not organized enough but Kaidan knows better. To make things go smoothly, he gets to the documents they need beforehand just so everything is ready to go and there’s no mix-ups. In fact, he usually puts them somewhere Niall can’t find them just so he doesn’t get his hands on them!

22. Who texts more often?

Knox x Kaidan - Kaidan! He tries not to smother because Knox hates it but it’s a very fine line. Knox is just...busy and forgets. Also, he just doesn’t see the point in it.

John x Kaidan - Oh John without a doubt. (I have a...lot of ideas for this) But yeah, silly one liners, ridiculous sayings, anything mundane that pops into his head. Kaidan gets it ALL.

Jon x Kaidan - Fairly equal, though there are times Jon goes dark and then Kaidan worries.

Niall x Kaidan - close but I think Niall edges him out...juuuust a bit.

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

Well, to me, Kaidan is a snuggler in general, so not really secret in any pairing of mine!

Knox x Kaidan - Surprising no one...Knox! He is the big spoon and on the rare occasions Kaidan wakes up first, it’s to find Knox wrapped around him. He doesn’t do it consciously and only when he’s completely zonked out. He denies it when Kaidan tells him lol

John x Kaidan - equal snugglers. Touch is comforting to them both and John likes wrapping his arms around Kaidan...and his legs…and draping his body over him xD

Jon x Kaidan - Jon is still processing having someone touch him, so definitely Kaidan when Jon feels up to it.

Niall x Kaidan - Niall because at first, he just kinda flops around the bed, kicks Kaidan a lot when they start sleeping together, hits him over the head. Niall is a bed hog lol. But overtime, he gravitates to the touch of skin on skin, the safety and security of Kaidan and his warmth, though Niall isn’t exactly cold.

43. What is the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Knox x Kaidan - ooooo. So, Knox is kinda poleaxed on Horizon when he hears Kaidan’s voice, then sees him...then devastated when he walks away. Sure, he gets it and would do the same. Just takes him by surprise to feel that way. Knox wants to be a better person for Kaidan and begins to change in little ways, begins to think WWKD, in many situations - even if he doesn’t always change how he tackles a problem. At least, not right away.

Kaidan tries to get to know the man behind the mask, understand him better, see why he makes the choices he does and meet him halfway in how they process their decisions.

John x Kaidan - I think they realize it right away at the book store, so John’s just...relentless in his pursuit but still never pushes. Kaidan has to come to him. For Kaidan, he stops...running away.

Jon x Kaidan - Jon tries to sabotage any budding feelings the minute he realizes he has them. His self hate is very real, very up front and center and it leads him down a dark path. Thankfully, Kaidan is endlessly patient and understanding, so when they’re finally on the same page, it’s awkward but ultimately healing and chock full of feels.

Niall x Kaidan - Niall is oblivious for a long time. Kaidan knows he has feelings but refuses to act on them. Think...slooooow burn here. But, when they both realize it and quit circling around each other and missing the mark, they are in complete tandem and their dance is beautiful to behold.

#OTP ask #character building #mass effect #mshenko #ALL THE MSHEPS #this was a workout #Niall #Knox #John #Jon #theoriginalladya

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shijiujun · 4 years

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[ENG] History3: Trapped Novel - Epilogue One: “And After, Tang Yi & Shao Fei”

~3,700 words

Translation Masterpost can be found here

Disclaimer: Translations are entirely mine and Wei’s - these are not official translations and some phrases have been changed for better English interpretation so you’ll definitely see better/different translations elsewhere. Also keeping in mind when we translated this we aren’t exactly thinking about the style of writing and this translation is as close to the novel as we can make it XD So yes, some parts may be a little awkward to read. And yes some teeny weeny details and words may not turn up in the translation because the Chi to Eng mind acrobatics didn’t work out. If you see asterisks, scroll all the way to the bottom for notes!

Epilogue One: “And After, Tang Yi & Shao Fei”

N Years Later, Shi Hao Corporation’s Building

A secretary, wearing high heels and dressed in a sharp blazer and pencil skirt ensemble, holds onto a freshly printed contract for a construction project and walks into the meeting room.

She bends slightly, standing next to the CEO and says softly, “Boss, this is the second version of the contract, if I could trouble you to check it over?”

“Nnn, just leave it here and I’ll have a look at it later. And also, make an appointment with Boss Chen for tomorrow evening at 7pm later, at…”

The man, clad in a sleek suit, simultaneously gives his secretary her tasks while listening to each department manager reporting on their respective progress. Suddenly, from the man’s jacket pocket comes the sound of a phone’s vibrations, and all the subordinates seated nearer to him all gesture to the other people in the room with their gazes and mouths after realising what is going on. At that, even the department manager currently giving his presentation ceases to speak, as he points the controller at the screen projector to pause his timed presentation.

“Ex-boss, Captain Meng has gotten injured, and he’s already been sent to Dr Jiang’s private hospital.”

“Nnn.”

The man immediately stands from his seat after ending the call and straightens out the wrinkles in his shirt before walking out of the silent meeting room with an upset expression on his face. Only when the CEO has entirely disappeared from their line of vision does everyone exhale nervously, as if a ban has just been lifted with the man’s departure.

“Whew…. Let the boys know to go over to Dr Jiang’s hospital and stay there, don’t let Boss or Captain Meng run into any more problems.”

After so many years of working on reforming Xing Tian Meng, the Xing Tian Meng that existed in the underworld no longer exists, and while it is entirely unavoidable that they still have some influence there, major departments in the company have actively tried not to step into the dealings of the underworld again.

“Should we call CEO Zuo to come back and take over?”

The department manager who was interrupted and forced to pause halfway through his presentation directs the question at the people seated nearest to him, looking at the projector.

“You fucking-”

Used to using these profanities to start any sentence, the man who just spoke automatically trails off. He glares at the department manager instead.

Coughing awkwardly, he says, “Do you want to die? Even if CEO Zuo said yes, Brother Dao Yi will never agree to it.”

Everyone else nods fervently.

That’s right, CEO Zuo and Brother Dao Yi finally got pregnant after much difficulty three years after they got married, and seeing as she was expected to be due in a few days, who would dare to ask CEO Zuo to come back to the office to handle work at this point? The Boss getting angry was one thing, but first they would have to go through Brother Dao Yi.

Geez! Just thinking about it makes everyone shiver and break out in cold sweat.

“Forget it, let’s settle the items that do not need the Boss’ final decision first, and the rest, we’ll wait for the boss to come back.”

“You’re right.”

Everyone present in the room is at the managerial level, so they immediately come up with a replacement for today’s agenda and continue with Shi Hai Corporation’s scheduled meeting while waiting for the boss, even if they don’t know when he’ll actually come back.

Hospital

“Fuck! Meng Shao Fei do you think that I’m that free every day? Didn’t I warn you not to rush to the frontlines and take on everything by yourself first every time you run into a problem? I still have two surgeries to scrub in on today, and in the end? I have to be here to wrap up your wounds for you. God, my life is so tough. This can obviously be passed on to a nurse to deal with but because of someone’s orders, I have to repeatedly revise my Year One course in basic nursing.”

Dr Jiang glares at the Captain who was personally escorted to his hospital just for a small 10cm wound, made by a perp with a knife.

“Hehe, thank you!” laughs Shao Fei breathily with his mouth wide, as he sits on the hospital bed and enjoys the special treatment that the hospital usually affords only their top VIPs.

That year, Captain Shi was thoroughly investigated by prosecutors due to his involvement with illicit drug smuggling and the double homicide case, which ended with him leaving the police force for good. And that very night that Captain Shi took the congratulatory pastries from Shao Fei from his daughter’s wedding, he left Shao Fei with one thing.

“Shao Fei, I’ll leave Team 3 in your hands.”

In the beginning, he didn’t understand what Captain Shi meant, until the new staff shuffle orders came from Human Resources, and that’s when he found out that Chief, while making his confession to his superiors, also offered a suggestion to their commanding officer.

“If you guys are looking for someone to take over my position and continue to lead Team 3, I recommend Meng Shao Fei to take on the position of Captain.”

Just like that, after a period of training and assessments, he is now sitting in Chief’s previous position. Before, the sound of Chief yelling was the thing Team 3 heard the most often; now, the responsibility of teaching the rookies has fallen on Shao Fei’s head.

“Meng. Shao. Fei!”

A cold voice echoes, and each word stabs right at Shao Fei’s ears as the door to the hospital room slides open.

The man whose name was called immediately freezes, and with wide eyes, Shao Fei looks at Tang Yi approaching him, not daring to move in the slightest.

“You’re finally here,” Dr Jiang side eyes the man who he expects would be here, and his voice dripping with sarcasm, he comments lightly, “Tang Yi, your darling baby’s wound has been given stitches and is all wrapped up properly. Hurry bring him home and discipline him, and stop wasting my gauze and antiseptic solution! He’s also taking up my VIP ward!”

Once he is done speaking, Dr Jiang pats at his robes with his hands and leaves the ward with the emergency first aid kit with him.

Tang Yi walks over to the side of the bed. Gently picking up Shao Fei’s bandaged left arm and hand, he asks with furrowed brows, “What happened this time?”

“How would I have known that the perp had a second knife on him? A moment of carelessness… and… this happened.”

Shao Fei swallows hard, and decides to omit the part where the knife came really close to his arterial vein on his neck, lest his ‘punishment’ becomes more severe.

Suddenly, Tang Yi takes out a metal pen from his chest pocket, plucking off the pen’s cover and viciously scratches himself on the arm, in the same spot as Shao Fei’s wound.

“What are you doing?!” Shao Fei yells angrily, and snatches Tang Yi’s weapon in hand away.

“Does your heart hurt?”

“Nonsense!”

Shao Fei grits his teeth and reaches out for the call button to get Dr Jiang who just left the room to come back. Just as he’s about to do so, Tang Yi firmly locks his hand around Shao Fei’s wrist to stop his movements.

“How much does it hurt?”

“It hurts a lot! You better fucking let go of me, I’m going to find Dr. Jiang-”

Tang Yi suddenly moves to cradle Shao Fei’s face with his hands, and kisses Shao Fei, who is in the midst of yelling at him.

Shao Fei has gotten used to intimacy with Tang Yi and out of habit, simply returns the kiss passionately, until rationality returns to him. Only then does Shao Fei push at Tang Yi, who’s kissing him so deeply. Idly, he chides himself for letting his mind wander off to other things right at this moment.

“Have you cooled down?”

“Not possible,” Shao Fei says as he picks up some tissue from the side and presses on the wound Tang Yi made on his left arm, treating the cut in the crudest way possible.

“Meng Shao Fei, since you can’t protect yourself well and not make me worry, then on the same spot where you get injured, I will injure myself as well. If you don’t want to see me continue hurting myself, then please restrain yourself, and protect yourself well. Your body is no longer just yours, because it’s an extension of me, and likewise, our bodies now belong to each other.”

“I’m sorry…. Tang Yi, I’m sorry…,” Shao Fei says guiltily, his mouth pressed next to Tang Yi’s ear and hugging the man before him tight.

“We’re finally together after so much hardship, I really don’t want to lose you.”

“I know…”

“So tonight, forget about sleeping.”

“Huh?”

The sudden switch in Tang Yi’s mood stuns Shao Fei, who was feeling so guilty a second ago. Now, all he can do is make weird noises, his mouth wide open.

“Alright, I’ve got to head back to the office and deal with work.”

Certain now that Shao Fei does not have any life-threatening injuries, Tang Yi kisses Shao Fei softly on the forehead and leaves the VIP-only ward with a smile.

“What a cunning strategist.”

Dr Jiang is leaning against the wall outside of the room, waiting for Tang Yi as he the man walks out of the ward.

Tang Yi looks at him out of the corners of his eyes, and laughs wryly, “Likewise. I cannot compare to Dr Jiang who took advantage of Xiao Shu Gong’s compassionate heart and conned his way into his affections by acting all innocent and pitiful.”*

“Tang Yi, are you happy right now?”

“Very.”

“Then that’s all good.”

With that, Dr Jiang, who still has two surgeries scheduled for the day, immediately turns around and coolly waves, his back faced towards this good friend who he has known for so many years now.

Next to a road

“Ex-boss, Captain Meng has gotten injured, and he’s already been sent to Dr Jiang’s private hospital.”

After sending ‘intel’ back to Tang Yi, Jack keeps his phone in his jacket’s pocket and continues to appreciate his little, hot-blooded police officer (boyfriend).

“You! And you! Bring him back and proceed with getting his statement, and remember to apply for an arrest warrant with the prosecutor's office.”

“Yes!”

Zhao Zi is standing downstairs and very naturally commanding the other team members to finish their job here.

A young police officer, who was transferred over to Team 3 just half a month ago, asks with concen apparent over his face, “Will Captain be okay?”

“Don’t worry! That shady doctor is very good at his job, ah-”

Realizing what he just said, Zhao Zi quickly covers his mouth. Looking around sheepishly and only after making sure that no one within earshot would expose him to said shady doctor does Zhao Zi put down his hands.

He pats at the young officer’s shoulder and says, “Someone else will take care of anything that happens to Ah Fei. All we have to do is finish up here.”

“Okay, Zhao Zi Ge.”***

The young officer bows to Zhao Zi respectfully, then jogs over to a nearby store to request to look at their surveillance footage.

“Hehe, he called me ‘Ge’!”

Now that he’s finally been promoted from ‘Zhao Zi’ to ‘Zhao Zi Ge’, Zhao Zi scratches at the back of his head with a really happy grin, but suddenly, he hears his stomach growl. He bends his head to look at his abdomen.

“Ah! It’s 6pm!”

His body alarm is even more precise than a clock as his stomach sounds at exactly 6pm to remind him to eat. Just as he’s looking around him to find a restaurant, he hears a familiar trumpet sound from behind him on the left, and a loud voice calling his name.

“Shorty! Here, over here!”

“Jack?”

Zhao Zi turns on his left and immediately discovers the huge food truck parked next to the road, and on the truck’s signage, today’s menu is written - Fried beef noodles, Beef Hor Fun, Beef Mui Fan, Beef Fried Rice, and Beef Noodles.

“Wow-”

Zhao Zi’s attention is captured by all the delicious food. He swallows and walks to the truck, and with bright eyes, he looks at Jack, who has since left his life as a mercenary behind since his days at Xing Tian Meng, with something akin to worship.

“How did you know that I wanted to eat all these?”

“I’m your personal chef, of course I know what you’re thinking.”

Jack, who has now become ‘Fang Liang Dian’, has finally returned to life as a common, normal man. Although his Swiss bank account has enough savings to let him spend over three lifetimes, he finds that a too-relaxed life is not suitable for him, and so he has now become Zhao Zi’s house-husband. Aside from being responsible for the shorty’s meals after he returns home, he also bought a food truck, and everyday all he does is chase after his little police officer across the whole of Taiwan on this truck so that he can provide Zhao Zi with piping hot delicious food at any time.

“Wow, I want a bowl of fried beef noodles, a beef hor fun, and another beef fried rice!”****

“No problem.”

A police car suddenly approaches the truck, and Lu Jun Wei pokes his head out of the window inquisitively, then orders unceremoniously.

“You’re here again? Just in time, I was getting hungry too, can I have a plate of beef mui fan please?”

“Of course, I’ll have to take 1000 NTD from the customer,” Jack says with a smile to this unwelcome guest who interrupted the conversation between him and his shorty.*****

“What?! 1000NTD? Are you fucking scamming me?”

Jack looks at him with disdain, and shakes his head at Jun Wei, “If I told you, that these dishes were made with Japan’s A5 Wagyu Beef, will you still say that I’m scamming you?”

“.....”

A, A5 Wagyu beef?! Just a few small cubes would cost up to 2000 or 3000 NTD, and he’s actually using this beef so luxuriously in a dish of fried noodles? Fried rice? Fried hor fun? And even beef noodles?

“You’ll be punished by the gods,” Jun Wei says, but still takes out two 1000 NTD notes from his wallet, “I’ll still like to have a beef hor fun and a bowl of beef noodles.”

Even though he feels sorry towards his wallet which just became full with his salary being credited for the month, towards this accessible price, if he doesn’t eat, he will let himself down.

“No problem at all, I’ll help the customer prepare his order, but the shorty gets priority, always.”

“Yes… I totally understand…”

This isn’t the first day Jun Wei is meeting Jack, how could he not know that this man’s principle of putting his Zhao Zi first?

Zhao Zi touches his ear and with a bit of embarrassment, says, “Jun Wei, sorry about this. I was here a few minutes earlier than you, that’s why.”

Jun Wei rolls his eyes at his junior who’s always this slow on the uptake, and cannot be bothered to explain to Zhao Zi why exactly his turn is behind Zhao Zi’s.

In the delivery room

“Gu, Dao, Yi,” Hong Ye, who’s currently lying on the operating table getting ready to deliver, yells angrily as she holds onto Dao Yi’s hand.

“Don’t get angry, don’t get angry. Remember you have to breathe later, breathe in, and breathe out… That’s right, breathe in, breathe out… Very good. Miss, you’re doing very well.”

“Didn’t I tell you that you’re not allowed to call me ‘miss’ anymore? Damn it! Where did that doctor go?”

“I’m sorry, don’t get so worked up der. Dr Jiang has already assigned his junior from the maternity center to be in charge of your delivery, so don’t worry. After all, Dr Jiang does not specialise in this.”

“Junior?! Can that doctor’s junior be trusted? Ah…. I’m in so much pain…”

“Don’t worry dear, Dr Wu’s reputation precedes him in this field, just leave yourself and the baby in his hands!”

“Gu Dao Yi I’m telling you first, I’m definitely not having a second one!”

Damn it, if it wasn’t because of how much she loved this man, Hong Ye would never have insisted on having their own baby, destroying her figure and taking on the risks of pregnancy and then giving birth to the child.

“Okay okay, we won’t, we won’t, our hands will be full with one child anyway.”

“Ah…. ouch-”

A few hours later, Hong Ye successfully gave birth to a cute daughter, and the new mom who has used up all her strength during delivery is wheeled into a single ward to rest.

A week later, the new baby’s uncles can finally visit at the newborn’s nursery in the hospital and are queuing up outside along the corridor, waiting for the curtains to be pulled open in five minutes.

After the curtains are pulled back, Shao Fei is the first one rushing to the windows with Hong Ye’s ward number, and inside, a nurse swiftly finds the baby among all the other babies in the room, bringing her to the window.

Shao Fei looks excitedly at the little baby, and says, “Wow, how adorable, Tang Yi look, next time the little princess will call you Uncle!”

“Don’t worry! I’ll teach her to first call you ‘aunt’!”

Tang Yi looks at his lover and smirks, and Shao Fei returns his remark with an eyeroll.

“Tch!”

Jack moves over to Dao Yi’s side, smiles and nods, “Dao Yi Ge, you’ve worked hard.”

Ever since Hong Ye’s pregnancy began, her temper became worser than before, and even Tang Yi who dotes on her the most was angered so much a few times, to the point where he just walked away, simmering with fury. Shao Fei usually argues with Hong Ye every meal on a normal day, not to mention during the period when she was pregnant. Only Dao Yi, who’s so well tempered, can handle his wife’s notorious temper, facing it with a smile from day one.

“Miss- Hong Ye worked even harder,” Dao Yi smiles.

Even though they’ve been married for a few years, old habits are really hard to change and he often calls her ‘Miss’, which resulted in Hong Ye leaving the house in anger, because she really hates that.

These nine months they really troubled the gelato ice-cream store’s boss. Usually, the boss changes the flavours available rather often, but to soothe his Hong Ye, Dao Yi asked him to always have the mint chocolate and mango sorbet flavours in store, just waiting for Hong Ye to visit. It also helped Dao Yi to know exactly where he could pick up Hong Ye from whenever she left the house angry.

Jack’s lips curve as he walks towards Zhao Zi, who’s pressed against the window glass entertaining the little princess. Sliding his arm around Zhao Zi’s waist, he asks, “You like children so much?”

“Of course I do! Babies are so adorable, who wouldn’t like them?”

“I don’t. They’re noisy, a nuisance, and they don’t understand human speech.”

The most important thing is, he can’t even lock the baby up in a cage like he would a pet, because he would be charged with abusing a child.

Zhao Zi looks so wistful then, and says, “So you don’t like children? And here I was thinking during Lunar New Year we’ll spring clean and take out my childhood photos for you to see. In this case, forget it then!”

“Wait! You said… whose childhood pictures?”

“Me! If not, who else?”

The moment he hears that it’s Zhao Zi’s photos, he demands, “I want to see!”

“Didn’t you say you dislike kids? They’re noisy, a nuisance, and don’t understand human speech? I think we should just forget it, what if you see me when I was younger, and then end up disliking me now?”

“Impossible,” retorts Jack immediately.

“But what if?”

“As long as it’s you, the younger you, or the older you… I like them all.”

Zhao Zi feels his cheeks heat then, and turns to look at Shao Fei, who’s laughing at him from the side.

“You, you, be quiet! You’re going to bother the little princess.”

“I don’t care, take out all the photos and give them to me. Everything of yours, they’re mine.”

“Okay!”

Once Jack sees Zhao Zi agree, his face all red, Jack’s expression morphs into that of a smile, and then he also bends forward to look at the fidgeting little baby on the other side of the glass.

“Hey, shorty.”

“What?”

“You really like children that much?”

Zhao Zi looks at his lover, and teases, “Didn’t you just ask me that?”

“Then…” Jack deliberately trails on, looking at the shorty’s face from the side, and very naughtily continues, “Shall we give birth to one then?”

“...”

Zhao Zi stares with wide eyes, turning to glare at Jack.

“No, one is not enough, you have to give me two. They better both be daughters, and they should look like me. When they grow up they’re guaranteed to be beauties,” Jack begins to fantasize about his future daughters.

He’s very proud and confident about his own looks.

“Fang, Liang, Dian!” Zhao Zi says through gritted teeth, syllable by syllable.

“Hnn?”

“Giving birth? Fucking hell, I’m a man! Go and die!”******

Zhao Zi lifts his leg and takes aim at one of Jack’s legs, but the man easily dodges the kick. With one person kicking and the other one dodging, in the end the both of them make so much noise that the head nurse ends up kicking them both out of the floor that holds the nursery room.

===

Notes:

*”The artefact which has just been unearthed” - This is from the last episode, where Dr Jiang basically calls Tang Yi an antique which has never seen the light - In Chinese it works as a ‘name’ to call Tang Yi, but when translated there’s no way to translate it correctly without it sounding dumb lmao! The closest would be Dr Jiang going ‘hey you antique’ but that’s not exactly what the words mean, so I went with Tang Yi instead of “the artefact”

**Xiao Shu Gong is one of the characters from History2: Right of Wrong, Shi Yi Jie’s friend who seems to be an archaeologist as well, and he’s paired with Dr Jiang canonically in Trapped.

***Ge means ‘Brother’

****LMAO ZHAO ZI HOW MUCH CAN U EAT IN ONE SITTING?!

*****1000NTD is about 32USD

******I think I spoke to @florbexter on this when I first gave my very messy synopsis/summary on the chapter like... a gazillion months ago, and hmm yeah I ain’t too fond of this trope tbh. Read at your own risk and also this author is really NOT known for good writing. if you enjoy it great tho! if not don’t worry, and don’t think too much about it because... yeah this author and some details of the epilogue, not so great. We win some, we lose some, unfortunately.

#history3: trapped #history 3: trapped #history3圈套 #history 3: 圈套 #history3 novel #translations #history3 merchandise #AHAHAHA wow it's been so long guys #sorry bout that #chap 8-10 are still in progress #but i thought i'd give u guys the epilogues first

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northsouth12 · 3 years

Text

How to actually do goals according to science

Every year I kind of sort of commit to some ~New Year’s Resolutions~ and every year I kind of sort of make progress on them. This year I was diagnosed with depression and that led to me doing a bunch of research on how brains work and working with a therapist (bless them) to learn how to be kinder to myself.

In 2021 I’m setting goals again, but also approaching my goal setting with a different, more compassionate, and more informed mindset. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of setting myself up for success and I wanted to put it out there a) because I learned public sharing helps with goal achievement and b) in case this information/plan could help anyone else. So if you are also tired of making aspirational lists of all the stuff you’re going to do with nothing to show for it, come on over!

PEOPLE WHO KNOW MORE THAN ME

For quick and easy learning, I recommend the following podcasts/websites, from where I have drawn most of this information:

(1). VOLITIONAL PSYCHOLOGY with Dr Joseph R Ferrari, Ologies podcast ( 1:05:56, transcript and notes on website). A podcast interview explaining what procrastination is and what we can do about it. Also be nice to yourself.

(2). FEAROLOGY with Mary Poffenroth, Ologies podcast (1:13:49, transcript and notes on website). A podcast interview explaining how stress is equivalent to fear and how to interrupt our body’s stress response to regain our health and sanity.

(3). “Golden Rules of Goal Setting” on MindTools.com. A website covering most of the actually scientifically backed goal setting advice without a lot of life coach BS.

(4). My therapist. Credit where credit is due, they are a godsend. I highly recommend these conductors of light.

BASICS OF GOAL ACHIEVEMENT

For people who hate reading, here are the spark notes. There’s more information and tips in the long version, but I understand that some people put together IKEA furniture without looking at the directions.

Use the SMART method to write goals:

Specific - well defined and clear how to accomplish

Measurable - precise definition of success

Attainable - doable but still challenging

Relevant - aligned with personal values

Time-bound - must have a deadline

Put goals in writing. Use “I will” rather than “I want to” and frame statements positively.

Write down why specifically you want to achieve each goal.

Make an action plan breaking goals into individual steps. Break tasks into smaller and smaller chunks until you get to a place you can make progress. No judgement, just move the bar until you can move forward.

Schedule regular check-ins to evaluate your progress.

Post goals and progress publicly.

Incentivize achievement.

Surround yourself with doers rather than (fellow) procrastinators.

ABOUT SUCCESS AND FAILURE

If you can achieve 80% of your goal, that is success. In fact, happiness peaks at 85% success and 15% failure. People feel happier failing a bit because then their goal feels challenging and worthwhile.

YOU WILL FAIL. It will happen. It is okay. Focus instead on how you will react and grow from your failure.

“Stress” and “fear” are effectively the same thing. Recognize and own your fear; don’t be ashamed of it. It is a natural response. Also, recognizing your stress as a fear response helps you determine the root cause, and then address it, or even use it as a growth opportunity. Successful people freely use the word “fear”.

For many procrastinators, their fear of failure also includes a fear of success. You are afraid to do the work because you are afraid of not being good enough. These people (me) are practicing “social esteem protection” - thinking that if I don’t finish a task, I can attribute it to a lack of effort rather than a lack of ability because it’s a “time management” issue. It’s not. Time management is a myth, and the end result is that you are letting down the same people you want so badly to like you.

Procrastination is a learned behavior, which means that you can unlearn it. The best way is through CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to reprogram your thinking for people who have a persistent issue with procrastination.

Forgive yourself for your failures the way you would forgive other people.

HOW TO SET GOALS STEP-BY-STEP

Sorry this section is long, but it turns out a lot of the keys to success in achieving goals starts with actually writing them properly. Who knew?

Set a deadline. The traditional New Year’s Resolution is supposed to last through the end of the year, but I’ve found that is too long a span. I end up procrastinating because “there’s so much time left” until there’s not and then “it’s too late to start now”..... So now I’m setting my goals seasonally: four sets of three months. My deadline for winter goals is March 21st, the Spring Equinox. As part of my public accounting, I have told everyone this, including a bunch of internet strangers.

Also key for us procrastinators is setting a start date. I gave myself a week to write my goals and make my action plan. I have to keep track of my progress starting Monday.

Determine your priorities and set limits. You cannot do everything, no matter how much you want to (procrastinator, remember?). Looking for layout inspiration on Pinterest I came across so many bujo people with 8 million goals on their page layout. That’s not happening. Remember that your goals are meant to create positive change and a sense of accomplishment, NOT cause more anxiety. So make limits. How do we do this?

Make a big list of aspirations first. You can do this by identifying your personal values and generating ways to emphasize those more in your life. You can make a list of everything that you’re afraid of (aka causes you stress) and then think about ways to address or confront those fears. For example if getting a bunch of work emails into your personal inbox every weekend ruins your Saturday, aspire to set some work/personal life boundaries! Or maybe you have something you’ve always wanted to do, like learn a language or set time aside for a hobby. Put it on the list.

Now you have to edit the list. You can keep it to refer back to for the next round of goals, but choose out the top priorities for the next three months. To help you do this, refer back to your personal values, or just ask yourself “why do I want to do this?” If the answer is because someone else thinks you should, nix it. This is for you and only you. I originally chose 8 priorities, and then cut it again to 6 aspirations total - keep the plan simple and manageable to set yourself up for success. Remember, 85% success is what we’re aiming for. I also tried to choose a mix of difficulty levels of the individual aspirations (exercising = freaking hard; keeping a gratitude log = pretty easy) so that I might get some early wins and momentum.

I also recommend that at least one priority is just something you know will make you happy. We all need to set aside time and energy for ourselves, and to stop feeling ashamed about doing stuff that makes us happy. What the actual f**k. Choose one thing you love -- reading, baking, petting animals, being outside -- and make it an official goal to do it more often. NO JUDGMENT.

Okay, now to format your priorities into achievable goals. You are going to take each one of those aspirations and put it into an “I will” statement with a quantifiable definition of success. For example, my aspiration to “sleep more” became “I will follow a bedtime routine for 21 days straight.” You want to make sure your statement is framed positively (rather than “I will not eat junk food”, try “I will eat healthier snacks”). Also think again about making your goal challenging but achievable. I did not write “I will sleep 6 hours a night” because I can’t control that. I chose 21 days straight as my success measure because I anticipate I’ll fall off the horse a few times before I get a successful streak, and three weeks would be good progress for me. Another thing you can do is use ranges like “I will pick up 1 - 5 items in my room each day.” This is a bit of a mind game where the low end of the range is easily achievable so you have no excuse not to do it. Often once you get started, you might find that you have energy for 5 items after all.

Now that you have your goalposts set up, write down those “whys” you thought about when you were choosing them. Recording why you want to do this specifically is helpful for your motivation as time passes and further clarifies your goal.

As we’ve learned, accountability helps! For each of your goals, write down how you will share your progress. I’ve asked different people to check in with me about my sleep and exercise routines. I’m reporting about my ongoing issues with procrastinating on my schoolwork to my therapist each week. For my goal to read more books, I’m posting a picture of each book I finish on my Instagram. And for my goals to keep a gratitude log and consume news in a healthier way, I’ve decided I can hold myself accountable. In addition, I’m using my journal to keep track of my progress towards all six goals.

Set a reward for each goal. This could be anything from a pack of your favorite chocolates for completing an easy goal to giving yourself permission to buy that sweater you’ve really wanted for achieving a super challenging goal. I am also trying out having bonus rewards such as a small reward for an 11-day streak on my sleep goal to give me a push of momentum. For my hardest/most important goal I also decided to do a “stretch goal” like with Kickstarter where I get a reward for overachieving. So maybe I went a little reward crazy, but we’ll see how it goes!

Finally, for each goal write down the actions you’ll need to take to achieve it. For me this is stuff like “draft a bedtime routine and share it” and under that, I plan to research by “listen to somnology podcasts” and “read sleep solution book”.

HOW TO MAKE PROGRESS

Whew, you made it through writing the goals and now you are set up for success! Here’s a few more tips to keep things moving.

Now that you’ve got your goals all set up, share them with the world! (Or at least the people you’ve decided to help keep you accountable). Sharing goals and progress publicly is proven to increase our likelihood to achieve them.

If you’re a journaler, make a nice goals layout and a tracker for your progress. I did not find good examples for achieving goals in a scientific way when I looked for inspiration on Pinterest. If there is a journaler out there who read all the way to the end of this post and made a nice layout, please share your artistry. My “layout” is just a list. :/

Surround yourself with doers. If you have trouble motivating yourself (me), ask a friend to pair up with you. I am doing a remote master’s degree. It is not going well. However, setting up a regular Zoom “work date” with a friend who is currently working from home has forced me to sit down and look at my schoolwork on a regular basis.

Schedule regular check ins to evaluate your progress and write them down! I have a combination of check-ins with my “accountants” as well as a plan to review my goal progress every Sunday when I plan my week. This is written on my to-do list on each Sunday to make sure I do it.

Go forth and conquer! And remember, failure is a fact of life and does not make you a bad person. It just means you are learning more about how to set your goals for next time!

#goals #2021 goals #new years resolutions #goal setting #goal achievement #science

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mohtivations · 6 years

Photo

i’ve always wanted to make more content than just pictures, so i’m going to post about how i set up my bullet journal! (disclaimer: there are many ways to set up a bujo, but i hope that you can find some inspiration from this post)

because i use my bullet journal as both a planner and a journal, i basically have it with me EVERY SINGLE SECOND of the day. so basically if i were to lose it i will most likely have a mental breakdown hahah... anyway, here’s just a breakdown of what pages i like to add in preparation for a new month!

inspirational quote / typography to start off each month, i find a quote that may appear deep and inspirational, but to be honest, i probably found it in a bts song translation. usually, i opt for one color theme, and then i attempt multiple styles for the words on a separate piece of paper before finalizing the typography in my bujo. sometimes i mess up, sometimes i don’t. really depends on the month, and that is honestly okay; this bujo is meant for mistakes.

title page of the month obviously. you can’t have a new month without a new title (it’s a new start!!!). below the name of the month, i write out the days of the month starting on a sunday. it’s pretty basic but i like it. add some stickers and... voila! you got a brand new beginning.

tracker this tracker has stuck with me for as long as i’ve used a bullet journal, so i gotta say, it’s been consistent. i track some of the daily tasks i need to do, plus my sleep schedule. i’ll straight up list everything on my tracker. so - eat healthy, save money, workout, read, play instrument, write my research paper, retainers, AP prep, shower, pooping (yes ik), period, post on studyblr/gram.

moodboard looking back on all of my moodboards for the past few months, i’ve noticed a pattern. there is always a photo of at least one of the bts members. whelp. i usually go for the light / pastel colors. basically, i print a bunch of aesthetic photos at one go, and store them at the back of my notebook, until the time comes to create another moodboard. i can usually find photos on tumblr that are very aesthetic and minimalist. twitter is a great source of fantaken kpop pictures and these moodboards can also include photos you take yourself! the colors that seem to call to me each time are selected for that specific month. it’s very calming.

goals + favorites i like to set up my goals and favorites with different icons each month. for example, in april, they were bar graphs. previously, each slot for a goal / fave has been in the shape of waves, blocks, polaroids, coffee cups, and leaves. i usually leave three or four spots for each category. i fill out the goals at the beginning and the favorites as the days go by.

a sentence a day i like to record one line of thought for each day. it’s nice looking back on the days, noticing how i felt across the entire month. these sentences are fairly simple, but they are my best bet at summarizing a day.

eats i track the three meals of my day, plus a snack. because i’m at boarding school, there really aren’t that many choices, but i do think that it’s a nice concept. keeping records of what i eat really keeps me accountable and eating healthy. although it is tedious, this routine motivates me to be more conscious of my body.

expenses as someone who is essentially SHIT at controlling the amount i spend, i’ve been trying out this page to keep myself accountable. i wish i had more self control and noticed more about what i spend my money on. it’s a problem. i hope to fix it with the help of this expenses tracker. for each item, i have a date, name, and cost. at the end of each month, i calculate the total, and set a goal for the max i can spend the next month.

thoughts this is essentially where the journaling part of my bullet journal comes in. i leave the page blank, except for a header. whenever i feel a strong burst of emotion, i flip to this page. i have one at the beginning of my monthly spread and one more at the end, in case i run out of space.

weekly layouts for each week, i based my spread on the muji layout. because a week in the life can get extremely busy with all the assignments and extracurriculars, i found that a very open spread has helped me structure out my week. with everything that’s going on, this layout stands as a good organizational tool for a busy student. there are pictures of my weekly spreads under my posts!

polaroids at the end of each month, i print out four polaroids that highlight the good memories that have passed. this is a recent idea, so i have actually not tried it out yet. i hope it works out though!

whew. now that’s all out, i hope this post helped out anyone who was nervous about starting a bullet journal. to be honest, finding the right set up and pages took a very long time, so don’t feel pressured or anxious about finding the perfect routine straight away. i know i sure as hell did not. i’m currently on my second bullet journal, and i believe there is room for plenty of improvement ahead!

i guess what i’m trying to say is good luck to all of those that have read this far and are giving bullet journaling a go. my inbox is always open so feel free to send a message!

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saiyukisecretsanta-blog · 6 years

Text

When Morning Breaks

For @junkerfox by @imaginarydragonling (imaginary_dragonling on AO3)

Surprise! I hope you like this gift!

Title: When Morning Breaks Pairing/Characters: Sha Gojyo & Cho Hakkai; Sha Gojyo & Genjo Sanzo Genre: Outer Space AU; Astronaut AU Rating: Teen & Up Warnings: Some foul language Optional: Playlist on Spotify

“Home Command, come in, Home Command.” Gojyo counted to three before pressing the intercom button again. The signal at mission control back on earth should have alerted someone that he wanted to talk by now. “Home Command, come in, Home Command.” Gojyo didn’t know what the signal was, but he hoped it was a big flashing red alarm. With sirens. And whistles. “Home Command, come in—“

“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?!”

“Ohhh, so you are alive and listening!” Gojyo couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face at the rage in his flight director’s voice. Genjo Sanzo sounded like he was several notches above his usual eight on the irritability scale.

Excellent.

“I was beginning to think that you were all dead…” Gojyo said. “And I’d come home to the zombie apocalypse and have to shoot you all to survive.”

“If you were here, I’d put a bullet through your brain.”

“Whew, woke up on the wrong side of bed did we? Or haven’t you had your morning cigarette yet, eh Sanzo?”

“That’s Genjo to you, Sha. And none of your goddamned business!”

“Yes sir, Genjo Sanzo-sama.” Gojyo raised his hand in a mock salute even though Sanzo couldn’t see him.

“You’re such a shithead, Sha. And you’re late. Where’s your status report?”

“Well, somebody didn’t pick up when I called.” Gojyo tucked his hands behind his head and kicked off from the control panel wall.

“I had other matters to attend to. I’m not your babysitter.” Gojyo smiled at the aggravation in Sanzo’s voice.

“Sorry. I forgot how busy you must be, running a whole mission control center by yourself.”

“Piss off!”

Gojyo laughed. “What’s been happening back there? You’re crankier than usual these days.”

“Never you mind.”

“Must be something big then.” Gojyo braced his hands against the wall to halt his momentum. He flipped over and kicked off again with practiced ease. “Come on. What’s been happening down there? Share the gossip will ya?”

Silence from Sanzo, and Gojyo was eyeing the intercom button again when Sanzo’s voice crackled in his ear, “Is your newslink working?”

Gojyo twisted his head to scan the panel of lights and switches that made up the control system of his spacecraft. He spotted the green light on the bulb after a moment of searching. “Yeah…”

“Read the damned news yourself.”

“Aww, come on Sanzo. Maybe I just want to hear your voice.” Flip. Kick. Float. “It gets lonely up here, ya know?”

“Disgusting. I better not be in any of your perverted fantasies.”

“Oh, would you like to know? Let’s see, there was last night when—”

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

Gojyo cackled. “C’mon Sanzo… It’s so fucking boring up here. Humour me with a story.”

“Go read a book then. Isn’t the ship library full of them?”

“They’re all so boooringggg. Nothing but audio films about human nature and the histories of war. Not even a cartoon porno among the lot of them. Whoever stocked this baby up must have been an old geezer.”

“Hmph, sounds educational. Maybe you could learn a thing or two and fill that empty head of yours.”

“Hey, my head is plenty full. I’ve got all these fantasies about you in here.”

Gojyo grinned and did two more laps between the walls of the control compartment while Sanzo ranted about kicking his ass and shooting him when he got back to earth.

Gojyo waited until he heard Sanzo drawing deep calming breaths and the tell tale drag of a cigarette before Gojyo drawled, “So, I guess that’s a ‘no’ on the story then?”

There was the shattering of a cup and the clatter of files and papers hitting the floor from Sanzo’s end of the line. Gojyo reminded himself to get something nice for housekeeping and janitorial services when he got back as he listened to Sanzo redecorate his office.

“Just give me your damned report,” Sanzo grit out after he had finally finished cussing out Gojyo.

Gojyo rated Sanzo at a nine point five and figured he had pushed him enough. “Righto, Sanzo-sama~~”

“Oh, this will be the last time we talk for awhile.”

That made Gojyo sit up. Although ‘up’ was a relative term when one was floating in zero gravity. “You going on vacation or something, Cherry-chan? I know you don’t have a girlfriend, so it can’t be that you’re getting married and going on your honeymoon…”

“Shut up. It’s none of your business.”

“I disagree. You’re leaving me for someone else and you won’t even tell me what she looks like? Does she have a big rack?”

“…”

“Is she prettier than me?”

“…”

“It’s actually a boyfriend isn’t it.”

“I SAID IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, YOU PERVERTED COCKROACH!”

“Sanzo, we’re friends, right? You know you can tell me if you got demoted—”

“If you must know,” and Gojyo could clearly visualize the vein throbbing at Sanzo’s temple, “I have to go oversee a training mission.”

“Wow wow, Mr-High-and-Mighty supervising a training mission? Don’t you have subordinates for that?”

“None that are competent, clearly.”

“What’s wrong with this guy?”

“He’s a promising candidate, but apparently can be quite the handful.”

“That’s what they said about me and look how I turned out!”

“All the more reason for me to nip this in the bud and beat some sense into him now. You’re a lost cause.”

“Oh stop. You’re making me blush. Sounds like the little monkey is about the get some training. You should hand him over to me when I get back. I could give him some tips.”

“Not a fucking chance. He’s stupid enough to believe what you say too.”

“Aww, he sounds adorable. I can’t wait to meet him.”

Gojyo thought he heard Sanzo mutter ‘over my dead body’ under his breath, and decided to switch gears to more pertinent matters.

“So, who’s your replacement going to be? Not some brown-nosing intern right? I need a professional here.”

A pause before, “You’ll see soon enough, Gojyo. I gotta go. They keep calling me about the twerp. It’s annoying. Your new flight controller will check in with you at the usual time tomorrow. Don’t be late.”

“Naww, you’re going to leave me hanging, Sanzo? After all the pictures of the moon I took for you…

“You’re letting a chick take over right? Please tell me it’s a chick, Sanzo. Sanzo? Sanzoooooo!”

Gojyo knew when to give up. Sanzo was probably long gone and Gojyo wasn’t feeling like enough of an ass today to annoy anyone else at mission control. He had had enough fun winding up Sanzo to last him a while. Gojyo blinked. He was going to miss him.

Space was boring. It was quiet, empty, cold. Gojyo worked out, ate, attended to bodily functions. He even started on an audio book, a Chinese classic. He got through about five minutes of it before he gave up and shut it off. Gojyo blasted music from the speakers and waited for sleep to claim him.

Alarms were blaring. White and then red. White and red. White. Red. She was white. The water was red. The tub was full. Red. The water was spilling over. Red. Pooling around his ankles. Red. Soaking his pants. Red. The water was cold. Shouts. Screams. The scent of copper was overpowering. He couldn’t breathe—

Gojyo’s eyes snapped open, gasping for breath. His ears were ringing, but it was just the ship’s intercom begging to be answered.

Someone was trying to reach him.

Gojyo ripped his sleeping bag open, was waylaid by the tangle of straps anchoring him to the sleeping alcove before he freed himself and kicked off the wall to shoot the ten feet or so across the main hub to get to the control compartment. His shoulder slammed into the wall as he flipped the switch to open his coms channel.

“What the everloving fuck is the emergency Sanzo?! If the ship’s not headed towards a collision course I’m gonna roast your ass!”

Silence. Though, he was sure that there was someone there because he heard their sharp intake of surprise, could almost hear the gears turning in their head at his less than courteous response. Odd, Sanzo never hesitated to give Gojyo a piece of his mind.

“My apologies.” Gojyo froze. That wasn’t Sanzo. The voice was male, but the tone and timbre of it was all wrong. Unless Sanzo has caught a head cold that made his voice higher in register, milder… sadder? “Did I wake you, Mr. Sha?”

“Err…no, no, I was awake at umm I mean it’s already six-oh-six…oh fucking hell that’s early.”

“Do you not rise at oh-five-hundred hours everyday, Mr Sha?” The way the voice said it, Gojyo didn’t know if he was supposed to be ashamed for not being up at the crack of dawn or reassure the voice that the notes he had on Gojyo’s schedule were, in fact, correct.

“Oh-five—? Oh no, fuck no. I mean, I know check in is supposed to be at six, but Sanzo never cared. Heck, he’d murder me if I called at six before he had a chance to read his paper. Much better to wait til eight when he’s got at least two cups of coffee and half a pack of cigarettes in him.”

“You check in late because you’re afraid the flight director will murder you in space? All the way from earth?”

Gojyo didn’t know if he should be insulted or amused. “Hey, the man’s a demon. If there’s something he wants, he’d move heaven and hell to get it.”

“Ah. Yes. I suppose that is rather like him. I still have to log your report though.” There’s a delicate pause. “Could you…?”

“Oh shit man, sure. Here’re my specs.”

Gojyo recited the figures and the man dutifully recorded his dictation, thanking Gojyo when they were done. He sounded young, definitely not much older than Gojyo, if at all. But he was competent. He hadn’t asked Gojyo to repeat himself, hadn’t hesitated on some of the more intricate readings, and Gojyo got the sense that he had been perfectly and thoroughly understood. Not an intern then. Gojyo wracked his brain trying to place him. Who had he known that was this calm, cool, and polite?

Too polite.

“Well, I think that is all. I will let you go and perhaps you will be able to catch up on those hours of interrupted sleep, Mr Sha.” The voice sounded contrite. Or amused?

“You gotta go huh?”

“Yes, I suppose I should withdraw.” The voice was soft, apologetic. “Good morning, Mr. Sha.”

Something stirred in Gojyo.

“Hey wait.”

“Yes?”

Gojyo let out the breath he had been holding, “You my new flight controller?”

“Yes, I suppose I am.”

“Aww, shucks,” Gojyo huffed a laugh. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, you seem nice and all, but I was really hoping Sanzo would do the world a favour and get a chick on the line for me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. We’re a bit short staffed at the moment. But if you really mind, perhaps I can ask Sanzo to—“

“Nah man, it’s fine.” Gojyo located his headset and put it on. “I was only kidding. You gotta learn to live a little. Anyway, I know this isn’t the most exciting job, and I know I’m not the easiest person to work with, but I guess, what I’m really trying to say is…nice to meet you.

“I don’t know who you pissed off to get stuck with this post, but beggars and lonely astronauts can’t be choosers and I’m just happy to meet ya.”

Silence, and Gojyo wondered if he had said too much. He had a tendency to come on strong. But then the voice said, “Thank you, Mr Sha. That’s very kind of you to say.”

“It’s Gojyo. Just call me Gojyo.”

“Alright, Gojyo-san.”

“Say, what’s your name?”

More silence. And then, “Hakkai.”

Gojyo smiled. “See ya around, Hakkai.”

The line went dead and Gojyo checked the time. Four minutes to oh-eight-hundred hours. Not that it mattered. Gojyo found that time held little meaning in space where there was no sunrise or sunset. Gojyo sighed. He let the monotone droning of the narrator from the audio book he had abandoned yesterday lull him back to sleep.

“Let’s play twenty questions.” The words slipped out before he could stop himself.

He had just finished giving Hakkai his report, and Hakkai had just wished him good morning. Hakkai always hung up after wishing him good morning. Just like he had the day before. And the day before that.

“I beg your pardon?” Hakkai sounded surprised.

Gojyo tried to play it cool. “Twenty questions? Y’know… It’s a guessing game. Or a getting to know you game.” He hadn’t meant to say that. So much for playing it cool. “Whatever. I’m bored, man.”

“Hmm, I see.” Gojyo floated with baited breath as he waited for Hakkai’s response. “How do you play it?”

Gojyo’s elbows banged against the wall. When he had finished swearing, “You’ve never heard of twenty questions?! What about I spy? Truth or dare?”

“I can’t say I’m familiar with any of those.”

“… That settles it. This isn’t just about boredom anymore. Y’need an education.”

“I do?”

“Yup. Here, I’ll start. I’m thinking of something. You have twenty questions to guess it. Go.”

“Umm, what colour is it?”

“Black.”

“Is it cold?”

“Yep.”

“Is it space?”

“Gee whiz, you’re good at this.”

“Ha ha ha, thank you, Gojyo-san.”

“Beginner’s luck. Your turn. Got something?”

“Oh. Yes, I suppose I do.”

“Boxers or briefs?”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you wear boxers or briefs?”

“How is this supposed to help you win?”

“What makes you think this isn’t winning?”

“…”

“Is your silence an invitation to find out for myself?”

“You do know that this is recorded right?”

“Sanzo’s the only one who would listen to this. He wouldn’t care.”

“How do you know?”

“You’re right. He would care. He’d be furious. I’m wearing boxers by the way. Black with little red hearts. Wanna see?”

“Gojyo-san!”

“Alright, alright. Well, boxers or briefs?”

“Umm…”

“Oh, I know! You go commando like Sanzo!”

“What?!”

“Yeah, didn’t you know? Do you want to know how I know?”

“…no, I don’t think I do.”

“Aww, I love that story. I tell it all the time at parties. Or to anyone who will listen to me really. Hmm, maybe that’s why Sanzo stopped assigning other people as my flight controller. You can tell our Great Leader I told you all about it… Hakkai? You still there?”

Gojyo somersaulted and looked at the panel. The intercom light was still on. For one long moment, Gojyo thought that maybe he had gone too far, that Hakkai had simply gotten up and walked away. It wouldn’t be the first time it happened to Gojyo.

But then—

Hakkai’s laugh rang in his ears. It was a melodic sound, delightful, genuine.

“Do you do this with all your flight controllers?”

“Only the ones I like.”

“Oh, really?”

“Oh, really!”

When they had both stopped chuckling, a comfortable silence fell between them, broken only when Hakkai, soft and serious, said, “Briefs.”

They played twenty questions everyday. Sometimes Gojyo won. Hakkai won more. Even when Gojyo tried real hard. Before he knew it, a month had passed, and winning or losing didn’t matter so much anymore.

“What do you do for fun?”

“Fun?”

“Hobbies. Y’know, things you do in your free time.”

“Oh! I cook, clean, do the laundry—”

“Hold up. Seriously? You sound like an old lady.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“N-no… Are you an old lady?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m about the same age as you.”

“How do you know how old I am?”

“It’s in your file.”

“Oh… Oh right. … What else does my file say?”

“Sha Gojyo. One hundred and eighty four centimeters, seventy-five point three kilo—”

“Skip the boring stuff, man. What does it say under the personality evaluation and comments section?”

“Lecherous. Simpleton. Pain in the ass… I don’t think I should repeat the rest.”

“… Sanzo wrote that didn’t he?”

Hakkai was easy to talk to. Gojyo found himself looking forward to their chats after they were done recording the status of Gojyo’s ship. Waking up at oh-five-hundred hours didn’t seem so abominable anymore. Gojyo almost looked forward to it.

“I’ve been thinking about your question.”

“What question?”

“About my hobbies. Something I would do for fun.”

“Oh. Did you come up with something?”

“Gardening. I think I would have liked to take up gardening.”

“What do you mean you ‘would have liked to?’ Don’t you have a garden?”

“… No, I don’t.”

“Hmm, well, something to work towards I guess.”

“Perhaps.”

“Don’t you have a hobby now? What do you do when you’re not working or sleeping?”

“I… I’ve started practicing tai chi?”

“… You’re really an old lady at heart aren’t you…”

“Ha ha ha. I suppose I am.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Don’t what?”

“Take up gardening. If that’s what you really want to do. Just do it. Give it a try. If it brings you happiness, who cares what some fucker up in the sky says.”

“I sail.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I sail. You told me your hobby, I’m telling you mine. Fair’s fair.”

“Oh, thank you. That’s a nice hobby, Gojyo-san.”

“Have you sailed before?”

“No, I can’t say I have.”

“Shit man, you haven’t lived then. Sailing… It’s an adventure. Wind in the sails and sun on your back. And my boat, oh… This baby I’m in right now might be newer and shinier, but she’s got nothin’ on my girl…”

“He.”

“…huh?”

“He’s got nothing on your girl.”

“You calling my spaceship a ‘he?’”

“Trust me. It’s a he.”

“Alright, man. It’s a he.”

Those were good days.

After two months of talking to him daily, Gojyo thought he knew the man pretty well. Gojyo could at least tell when Hakkai was being honest and when he was hiding. From what, Gojyo didn’t know. There was more to Hakkai than met the eye. Or the ear, for that matter. However, it wasn’t his place to pry. But sometimes, it made him wonder.

Especially on the bad days.

“It’s raining, isn’t it.”

“Ha ha ha. Wow, Gojyo-san. How did you know?”

“Sanzo hates the rain. He gets grumpy and closes in on himself. Becomes even more of a crab ass. You’re like him in that sense.”

“I’m a crab ass?”

“No, but you also shut everyone else out.”

“I’m sorry. That was rude of me. Whatever you’re dealing with is your business, man. I’m just… Eighteen months is a long time to be alone. It’s in the job description, and you talk to all these shrinks before you go, but you’re never quite prepared, y’know? What am I saying, of course you don’t know. I hope you never know either. It’s like prison. Not that I’m wishing that on you either, but, sometimes, I feel like I’m going crazy. Or like my mind is just going. It’s like a never ending journey. Alone. I think that’s the worse part. I think I could handle it if I wasn’t alone. Sorry. Give me a minute, I think one of the food packets got loose. Some days… I just wish I never woke up.”

Time wound on. Six weeks. Five weeks. Four weeks before he could dock at the International Space Station and shuttle back to earth. Gojyo felt his spirits lift. Hakkai must have sensed it too, because he was back to his cheerful self and seemed determined to keep things that way.

“What’s the first thing you want to do when you get back?”

“You planning a surprise party for me?”

“Hahaha. I can’t tell you if it’s a surprise.”

“Fine… I would have a smoke. Drink beer. Pick up chicks and definitely shag someone.”

“That’s quite the list.”

“Gotta have things to look forward to, y’know… Otherwise, what’s the point of living?”

<hr>

“You should come by sometime. I’ll be down by the docks. Look for the biggest whitest yacht in the bay. My sailboat will be right next to it, with the scuffed up hull and red sails.”

“Isn’t that painting yourself poorly?”

“Nah man, my boat—she’s a babe. What really matters is what’s under the hood. She’s got heart and she’s got soul. She’d never go down. Not without a fight.”

“I see.”

“You’ll come right? For a day trip at the very least. You’ve gotta experience the sea at least once. It’s warm and slow and rough and you’ll never know what you’re gonna get next.

“Not like space. One short struggle with the G-forces, then it’s over. Rest of the time you’re just floating, feeling your body rot away. Space has got nothin’ on the sea.”

“Why did you become an astronaut then?”

“I dunno, because people told me I couldn’t be. Why did you become a flight controller?”

“It’s something to pass the time.”

“Shit, man. That’s depressing.”

“Oh, is it? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“Nah, man, it’s cool. Just…you sound like you’re on your deathbed.”

“Oh. Right.”

Gojyo twitched.

“You’re not, are ya?”

“What?”

“Dying…”

The silence was deafening. Gojyo was about to ram his fist into the intercom button when Hakkai spoke, “Gojyo-san, I want you to know that—“

Alarms wailed and the warning lights around Gojyo flashed orange and red.

“FUCK!” Gojyo punched the alarm button, muting the sirens overhead even as he stared at the screens on the control panels.

“Gojyo-san! What’s going on?”

“You tell me! I— Shit! Micro asteroids. Coming in hot! They’re going to shred right through me!”

“Bank starboard! Full blast on aft thrusters.”

The window of space that had been relatively static throughout his journey spun and wobbled with disorientating speed. There was no time to think. Hakkai directed him with laser precision and Gojyo’s acted, timing burns and bursts of speed to maneuver his ship away from the asteroids that were hurtling towards him. The spaceship whined and rattled in protest.

“Push it. You need more speed.”

“I’m already pushing it to the max! Any more and I’m going to blow this baby apart.”

“Reroute power from the side thrusters to the pod blasters. You’ll get more speed that way.”

“Are you crazy?! Did you hear the part about blasting apart?!”

“Do it. Jeep can take it. Trust me.”

Sweat beaded on his forehead and the hard knot in his stomach made him want to hurl. Gojyo could feel the ship shuddering around him, the impact of asteroid bodies reverberating through the metal and the control stick he was wrestling with.

In the madness and rush of adrenaline, Hakkai’s voice in his ear was tranquil. A bell that chimed into the void, pure and true. A beacon that promised a way out of this nightmare. Gojyo trusted him.

Gojyo survived.

“How did you know?”

“The calculations on my screen indicated that—”

Gojyo shook his head. “Not that. How did you know where to get more power from. And that it wouldn’t tear the ship to pieces.”

A beat of silence, and then, “I knew. I’m the one who designed him.”

The questions came then, welling up like a spring, beating down like torrential rain. But Gojyo held back the flood and let Hakkai speak.

“It wasn’t just me. My sister was involved too. It was a joint effort.”

Gojyo could hear it then—the smile in Hakkai’s voice, the utmost fondness with which he spoke about her, the shadow that chased his every word and mention of her. It stained everything.

“You know, she wanted to call him Hakuryuu—the White Dragon. I liked Jeep better. She pouted at me for days.” Hakkai laughed.

It was the saddest sound Gojyo had ever heard.

“I owe you a beer.”

“Gojyo, I told you, it’s quite alright—“

“Hakkai, it’s the least I can do. I mean, you saved my life and shit. How about the day I get back to earth, I’ll take you out. My treat.

“Sanzo can come too if it makes you feel better. Though if he’s coming, it’ll be his treat. He’s the one with the corporate card.”

“Gojyo, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. But I’m afraid I will have to decline.”

“What? Why man? If you’ve got a girl, she can come too. We can all just go out as friends to celebrate you saving my sorry ass.”

“Ha ha ha.”

“C’mon… What’s holding you back? Are you sick or something?”

“…Something like that.”

“Oh shit. I mean… I’m sorry man. We don’t have to go out if you don’t feel like it. Is it…is it serious?”

“Hmm, the prognosis is quite bleek.”

“Shit. But you can get better right? You’re going for treatment or something?”

“After a fashion.”

“Fuck man, what are you doing sitting behind a desk then? I know you’re dedicated and all that, but if I were you, I’d be out there living, doing whatever—whoever—the fuck I wanted, no fucks given. I’ll take care of your baby for you. I promise to bring her—him—home safely.”

“Ahahaha, I’m sure you will. Or rather, Jeep will take care of you.”

“Hey, that works for me too. So go on. Tell Sanzo you quit. Go live your life man.”

“I wouldn’t know where to go if I left.”

“Don’t you have friends? Family? You could go visit them. Hey, go see your sis! Crash at her place. Maybe introduce us. What do ya say?”

“Ha ha ha, she’s not very good company these days I’m afraid. Quiet. Doesn’t say much.”

“Bet ya I could get her to talk.”

“Ha ha ha. You don’t know my sister. What makes you think you could do that?”

“I got you to open up didn’t I?”

“…”

“Is that a challenge? I like a challenge.”

“You would lose, Gojyo-san.”

“Such negativity! Give me one good reason why I wouldn’t succeed.”

“She’s dead.”

“Well, shit.”

<hr>

Conversation fizzled out, and Hakkai hung up soon after that. Sleep eluded Gojyo, and the next morning found Gojyo huddled by the control panels, impatient for the red numbers in the timepiece to change to the hour when Hakkai would greet him with a ‘Good morning, Gojyo’ as was their custom. Gojyo couldn’t wait.

“Hey, Hakkai. About yesterday, I—”

“Come in, Jovian Exploration and Evaluation Pod, this is the Houtou Space Research Organization. Can you hear me?”

Gojyo paused in shock. He had another week before he was due to dock at the International Space Station where Jeep would be handed off to astronauts from Tenjiku. He had assumed that Hakkai would walk him through the docking process. Or at least be with him right up until the handoff moment. He was supposed to have another week. It was too early.

“Come in, Jovian Exploration and Evaluation Pod. Is Sha Gojyo there?”

If he hadn’t already been suspended weightless, Gojyo would have collapsed as another shock hit him like a sucker punch to the gut. Because he recognized that voice.

“Jien?”

The silence seemed to stretch on forever before the voice on the other end answered, “Gojyo! So it is you! I saw your name on the log but I couldn’t be sure. It’s so good to hear from you! How’re ya doing kid?”

“I’m fine.”

“Whew, you’ve been on quite the adventure! I always knew you’d go far. You’ve gone the furthest that any man ever has! How does it feel—”

“Where’s Hakkai?”

“Uhh…Hakkai?”

“Yeah, the guy who’s been my flight controller for the past three months.”

“Umm…” The sound of papers being shuffled crackled harsh in Gojyo’s ears. “Genjo Sanzo?”

“No, not him. The other guy. The second one. The nice one.” The one who laughed when he should cry. The one who pretended that nothing was wrong when his world was falling apart. The one who smiled when his heart was breaking. Gojyo had never seen Hakkai smile. Didn’t even know what Hakkai looked like. But it didn’t matter. You couldn’t see broken hearts either.

“Hmm, the only person listed here as a flight controller is Genjo Sanzo. Are ya sure—”

“Listen, Jien. It’s not that I’m not happy to see you, or hear you, so to speak, but why are you here? Isn’t this kind of ahead of schedule? Did something happen at Keiun?”

“Oh, yes, about that… I don’t know either. This was all rather sudden. We weren’t expecting you for another week at least. But we got the call yesterday. The big bosses talked and, well, here we are.

“I guess there must have been some emergency over at your base? I got the brief this morning and dialed in as I was instructed.

“This is quite the coincidence isn’t it? I mean, I knew you were on this mission, but there are other flight controllers, and I was already assigned to our guy on the station.

“But hey! Now I get to walk you through the docking procedure, just like I taught you how to drive. Remember that? Man, you were such a punk back then. I hope you fly your ship better than you drive. Especially after the micro asteroid field you guys went through. Man, that was a close call. Your engineers did a good job with the ship. Seems like she’s quite the trooper.”

“He.”

“Sorry?”

“It’s a he… the ship…. Nevermind.”

“Uhh, ok… Oh! Did you hear about the explosion? I mean, it was months ago but…”

Gojyo tuned Jien out. He was glad to hear from him, but the incessant chatter felt jarring, wrong somehow. It was like an itch that he couldn’t scratch, and Gojyo suddenly wished for the vast emptiness of space and the silence of his thoughts.

“…the sentencing is gonna happen really soon. Someone’s gonna go to jail. I mean, it was a catastrophe.”

“Huh? Oh, right. Listen Jien, I’m gonna go. Gotta make sure stuff up here is ship shape when I hand him off to you.”

“Oh, is there anything you need help with? I can pull up the schematics—”

“No. Jeep’s fine. I just have my shit all over the place. I’m gonna start cleaning up. I’ll talk to you later, alright?”

Gojyo hung up before Jien could protest. Gojyo pushed himself towards the fore windows where he could see the Earth and the moon approaching, small blue-green and white orbs that would only grow with each passing day. He was closer to home and other human beings than he had ever been in eighteen long lonely months.

He had never felt more alone.

It was good to hear from Jien. It really was. Gojyo just found that he didn’t have much to say. So Gojyo listened to Jien describe his life in Tenjiku. Their Research Director was a genius, but he sounded like an asshole. Jien talked about the team of people he now worked with. The guy he supported was actual royalty. He talked about him a lot.

“He kind of reminds me of you.”

“Devilishly handsome and a smartass?”

Jien laughed, full throated and hearty. Gojyo’s lips quirked up in a smile.

“Ayy, I won’t deny he looks a bit like you… But no, that’s not what I meant.” Gojyo waited. “You’re both stronger than you look, but more fragile too… I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“Hey, what happened with mom… It wasn’t your fault.”

“I could have done more.”

“You did enough. Look where we both ended up! Not bad for a couple of orphans they said would never amount to anything.”

“There was no stopping you. Not when you had your heart set on something.”

“You didn’t do so badly yourself. This Kou guy sounds like a real dream to work with…”

“Hey, Gojyo?”

“Yeah?”

“If you have some time off, you can always come visit, you know?”

“Yeah… Maybe I will.”

Docking was easy. Jien walked him through it and Gojyo piloted Jeep into place without a hitch. Just before entering the airlock tunnel, Gojyo paused at the threshold, his bag of meager belongings slung over his shoulder.

“I’ll see you back on earth, buddy.”

Gojyo patted Jeep’s hull and stepped out of the ship.

The guy who greeted Gojyo was shorter than him, with long dark red hair like fire and serious violet eyes. He nodded and floated to the side, allowing Gojyo to enter the station unimpeded.

“Thank you~~” Gojyo said as he moved past him.

The station felt enormous, alien after the familiarity of Jeep’s white walls. Music echoed down the curved corridor, the electric guitar riff a stirring anthem of defiance. Gojyo grinned.

“You Kougaiji?”

“Yes. Are you Dokugakuji’s brother, Sha Gojyo?”

“Yep, that’s me. How long you staying up here?”

“I have three more months before the next astronaut arrives. Someone from the Western Space Coalition. You’re not coming back, are you?”

“Me? Fuck no. I’ve had enough of space to last me a lifetime.”

Gojyo made his way towards the pod that would shuttle him back down to earth.

Jien talked over the com to both of them as Kougaiji helped strap Gojyo into the seat of the pod that would take him back down to earth. When Kougaiji had double checked his harness, Gojyo held out his hand.

“It was nice meeting you, Kougaiji. I know my brother likes to nag, but he’s got your back and he’s looking out you.”

Kougaiji’s eyes widened, the seriousness of his expression lifting to let something softer shine through for the first time. Gojyo smiled.

“Hey, Jien. Take care of Prince-sama here and keep him company. I guess I’ll see both of you again soon.”

Gojyo laughed as Jien spluttered into the com and he kept the grin on his face as he hurtled through the atmosphere. He was going home!

He wondered if he would find anyone waiting for him.

He was looking, for everything he couldn’t see.

He was listening, for something he will never hear.

He’s waiting, for nothing.

The cigarettes were stale. The beer tasted flat. The conversations were trivial, as were the people he chatted up.

Gojyo tried to enjoy himself. He really did. It was his party after all. Or at least, his return and the success of the mission had been used as an excuse for the employees of Keiun Space and Aeronautics Institute to let loose and drink the night away. Gojyo plastered a smile on his face, tried to listen to the chick with the ponytail who was bouncing in front of him as she told him about her six cats.

Gojyo’s eyes scanned the crowd, gaze drifting over the party goers packed in the hall. The attendees weren’t just people from mission control. Engineering, R&D, even corporate administration had been invited, and turnout was high.

A flash of gold caught his eye. Gojyo excused himself from ponytail girl and made his way through the crowd. But by the time he had pushed through the throng of people, Sanzo had disappeared. Gojyo swiped another flute of champagne from the nearest waiter and downed it in one gulp.

“Do you have a last name?”

“Umm, no. Can’t you look him up with just the name I gave you?”

“He’s not in the system of current employees. I could check the archives, but I need a full name for that.”

“Couldn’t you just look again? He works here. I spoke to him barely two weeks ago.”

“I’m sorry, Gojyo. I’ve checked twice and his name doesn’t come up anywhere. I’m sorry…”

“Hey, it’s ok… No, don’t cry. It’s my bad… I must have misheard. I can still come and pick you up at eight? Yeah? Ok… I’ll see you then. Oh, one last favour. Could you please be a dear and give me a list of everyone who worked on the JEEP project…”

No one has seen him.

No one has heard of him.

No one knows.

The list was useless. Even Google failed. He was a ghost. A memory. A dream.

Gojyo refused to believe that.

After a week of hanging around mission control, ignoring the raised eyebrows and curious stares while he tried to catch more than two seconds of Sanzo’s attention, Gojyo had had enough.

He marched into Sanzo’s office armed with newspaper, coffee, and Sanzo’s favourite brand of cigarettes one morning. Sanzo only raised an eyebrow and glowered as Gojyo slammed the offerings on his desk before kicking the door shut and locking it behind him.

“Hakkai? As in Eight Prohibitions? Never heard of him. What kind of idiot would think that’s a real name.”

“Maybe the idiot who was abandoned by his assigned flight controller.”

“Whatever. It’s clearly a pseudonym.”

“You let the guy take over for you. Surely you must know his real name.”

“If you want to know, ask him yourself.”

“And how, pray tell, am I supposed to do that when I don’t know who he is?”

“Not my problem.”

“Seriously?! Maybe I should just go up to every single person in this facility and ask them—”

“Haven’t you done that already? How’s that working out for you.”

Gojyo slumped into his chair, head cradled in his hands. He missed the way Sanzo’s eyes flicked up from scanning the newspaper spread out in front of him, deep purple gaze regarding Gojyo over wireframe glasses.

“At least…tell me that he’s ok?”

“Sorry, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“Come on, Sanzo!”

“Look, why are you so fixated on finding him? You should be enjoying your time off. Sailing around the world or whatever. Stop wasting your time.”

“I can use my time however I want. And I’m not fixated, alright? The guy saved my life.”

“He did his job.”

“Is it too much to want to know who he is, so that I can thank him in person?”

“He must really want your thanks if he went through all that trouble of making sure you knew his name.”

“Gods, can’t— Can’t you just tell me? I just want to know that he’s ok. I won’t even try to contact him. I swear on my mother’s grave.”

“…”

“Maybe, he doesn’t want to be known.”

The day was hot and the sun beat down on him without mercy. His neck and shoulders were already starting to sting. If he wasn’t careful, the skin would burn and peel.

Time for a break anyway.

Gojyo secured the last bit of rigging and reached for his bottle of water, dumping the warming liquid on his head. It was cool against his skin and the water that dripped from his recently shorn hair tickling his bare shoulders.

Gojyo turned and made his way to the shaded part of his deck. The docks were quiet, deserted. Even the gulls were silent, unwilling to waste their energy caterwauling in the stifling heat.

Movement. There was someone walking along the boards, prowling between the luxury yachts moored around him. The figure was tall, of medium build, dressed in a white collared shirt and loose dress pants, walking purposefully between the boats, turning to look at each one of them as he passed. His stride was slow, languid, and his form shimmered in the heat like a mirage.

Gojyo groaned. Another rich bastard shopping for a new toy to impress a new girlfriend or fulfill some empty romantic notion of the sea. It was odd that this one was alone, but Gojyo wasn’t keen on making small talk with anyone who was loaded enough to buy their own yacht for the sole purpose of being able to say they owned it.

The man was heading his way, and sunlight glinted off the man’s glasses as his head turned towards Gojyo. Gojyo cursed, turned his deck chair very pointedly away from the docks and the approaching stranger, and flopped down into it. Gojyo closed his eyes, pulled his bandana over his eyes and reclined, tucking his hands behind his head.

With any luck, rich bastard would get the hint and leave him alone. He really didn’t feel like talking today.

Coolness. A shadow had fallen over him, or the sun had become hidden behind a rogue cloud in the blue cloudless sky. Gojyo opened his eyes and looked up into the face hovering above him. Rich bastard had a pretty face he’d give him that.

“This boat’s not for sale. If ya want to ask about the yacht, you’re outta luck, buddy.”

Bastard smiled. Shit. He had a nice smile too.

“Hard as it may be for you to believe, I don’t want your money.” He was younger than Gojyo had first thought. He looked to be around Gojyo’s age, not yet old enough to find owning his own yacht an attractive way of flaunting his personal wealth. Rich bastard’s son then. “Look, buddy. She’s not for sale and no amount of cash is gonna convince me to take you and your friends’ drunken asses for a joyride.”

The man withdrew, but only to look up and down Gojyo’s boat, like he was thinking about how much his baby was worth so that he could offer it—and maybe some—to Gojyo to tempt him. The nerve of him.

“Hey! I told you, she’s not for sale. Why don’t you take your daddy’s credit card and go fuck off to your own piece of sunshine? You take one step onto her, you touch this boat and I will personally haul you to the police station and report you for private property infringement.”

“What if I had an invitation?”

Gojyo’s protests died in his throat. Because that voice. That voice. He knew that voice.

Gojyo sat up slowly, afraid that if he moved too fast, the image before him would waver, disappear like a illusion, and he would wake up alone to the rocking of his boat and the lonely cry of the seagulls.

“Ha… Hakkai?”

And the smile on the man’s face said it all. The corners of his eyes crinkled, and Gojyo found himself staring at startling green eyes, deep as the lonely sea and just as secretive, just as sad.

“Good morning, Gojyo.”

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

Hakkai told him the whole story. How he and his sister had been engineers. Their experiment had gone wrong. There was an accident, a whole lab had been reduced to rubble. He had been careless, too ambitious, too proud. His sister and a thousand people had died because of him. There was an extensive investigation. Sanzo had been involved, had confronted him about it, and advocated for him at the trial. He let him work at flight control while decisions were made and judgements were deliberated. The sentencing hearing came sooner than expected.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”

“I tried to find you. I looked for you, asked after you. No one knew who you were. Is Hakkai even your real name?”

“No, I’m sorry. It’s Cho Gonou. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Gojyo wasn’t mad. He’s not hurt that Cho Gonou didn’t trust him enough to tell him his name. Gojyo understood abandonment, the feeling when the world has been ripped away from you, when you are left with nothing but yourself, your sins and shortcomings.

Gojyo fought—still fights. It was exhausting. Cho Gonou fought too, and if he needed a respite and had chosen to hide, faceless, behind the name of Hakkai, Gojyo understood.

“So, what are you going to do now?”

The sun hung low on the horizon, warm rays hitting the red sails of Gojyo’s sailboat and bathing them in crimson.

Gonou shrugged, a simple up and down motion. Gonou was smiling, but his eyes looked towards the ocean, lost.

“You can come sailing with me. I could use an extra pair of hands.”

Red captured green. “These?” Gonou held up his hands—smooth, unblemished, beautiful. “I wouldn’t know what to do with them.”

Gojyo grinned. “I’ll walk you through it. It’s not Jeep, but she’s got the same spirit.”

“She?”

“She. Definitely she.”

“Are you sure you want me, Cho Gonou, mass murderer and wanted criminal, at the helm of your beloved boat, manning your rudder?”

“You’re right. I don’t trust Cho Gonou. This invitation is for Hakkai.”

“I think I can manage that.”

THE END

#fanfic #junkerfox #gifter: imaginary_dragonling #saiyuki secret santa #submission

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thejerkstorecalled · 6 years

Text

The Final Sprint: Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Whew, it’s been a CRAZY six weeks! And got down to crunch time: shipping my goods, selling the convertible (thank you, Jesus) and flying away from the Bay.

Naturally, Murphy’s Law ran it’s course and nearly everything that could go wrong did.

I packed up alllll the things for LuggageFoward to ship via UPS:

BTW the fan was *not* being shipped, that went to the trash pile, but I did have the pleasure of carring that silly fan all around San Francisco, Napa, Sonoma and Livermore so that I could exercise with a cool breeze #priorities

Luggage included: 2 bike bags (one w the frame, one w the wheels), a 50 lb Wahoo Kickr, a roller bag, a large back pack.

UPS was scheduled to come pick up the luggage between 3 and 7 PM on Friday, and I was ready for them and looking forward to literally dumping some heavy baggage.

Automobiles

I had some work to blow through in the morning and a press interview at noon, so decided if I left at 1 PM to get Michael’s car appraised at Carmax ahead of selling it to them on Sunday and also pick up the bike I was renting to ride all weekend that I’d surely be back by 3. Right? Right????!!!!

As evidenced from earlier posts, Michael’s car is a tiny convertible that I’ve been constantly tetris-ing all my s#it into for the last six weeks. On top of that, the radio hasn’t worked in approximately two years. The windows don’t align fully to the car when rolled up, so they create a wind tunnel unless you roll them down and then back up every time you get into the car. But they have to go all the way down before they go back up again. And most recently, I discovered that the roof leaks on both the passenger and driver side. Have I mentioned that we’ve been having apocolyptic rain lately in the Bay Area? So to say that I have a hate-hate relationship with that car might be an understatement.

I took the car to Carmax, and the staff was friendly and quickly started on the appraisal that should only take 30 minutes which generally involves testing all the features and taking it for a short spin to identify any issues. Since said car is a convertible, they also tested the top, letting it down and then back u..... Oh wait, it’s STUCK! Yeah, the convertible top got stuck going back on and then wouldn’t go in either direction. The car looked like a giant UFO and not something that I could drive around with more rain inevitable over my final two days. And I was on a time crunch! So they generated the appraisal and confirmed I could come back before 9 that night to finalize the check and fortunately we only lost out on $500 - 1000 with that issue. But what was I going to drive and how was I going to get this bike???

The Carmax people (they were all really awesome) drove me to the Enterprise that was serendipitously right next to the bike shop to rent a car for the next two days. Clearly I needed something full sized ‘cause I still had a lot of stuff. In what was probably the best thing that’s happened to me through this whole scenario, I got a free upgrade, though it was a bit lost on me bc I didn’t know what to do with all the extra buttons and there did not appear to be any bun warmers (the only feature that really matters):

I then popped over to the bike shop and grabbed the bike and took it apart enough to fit it into the back. Thank goodness for black leather vs chain grease.

I had ten minutes to get “home” before my 3 PM window started and naturally Friday traffic was a nightmare in full force. I arrived back to my friend’s condo - where I’d been staying most recently - at 3:30/3:40 but there was not sign on the door that UPS had missed me and by calling LuggageForward, Michael and I determined that I had not missed the driver and they hadn’t yet been to pick up the goods.

Now to get back to work and wrap up things, and also I was STARVING. My day had started with a 4,300 yard swim and in all the chaos I hadn’t had time to eat lunch and really hadn’t eaten much at all on the day. This was a good time to test out DoorDash. I was debating between a veggie burger and burrito/enchilada, but ultimatley opted for Mexican. It took just about 30 minutes and the delivery fee was surprisingly not outrageous and the food was in good condition. I would definitely recommend this service and use it again.

6:55 rolls around and no UPS, so I start to get concerned. I call and they report that the driver made an attempt but didn’t have the condo flat # in his log, just the street address. So why didn’t he call???? I waited until 7:30 to hear back from the flurry of customer service phone calls which seemed to have ceased, and then headed to Carmax to wrap up that ordeal. About ten minutes into the trip, UPS calls to tell me the driver just made his last stop and will come back by, so I told them I was out but close and did a u-turn to head home. I get back home and wait. and wait. and make more customer service phone calls. The UPS driver noted in his log that he waited for 15 minutes, though I know he did not because it overlaps with the time I was at the condo... The “resolution” was that I would need to drop off my luggage at a UPS store by 1PM the next day. So it’s a good thing I got a full-sized rental car!

To cap off an exhausting Friday, I went back to Carmax and wrapped up everything with the sale of the car and got to sleep for my last ride with my Saturday cycling crew. For a change, the weather looked favorable and I was excited to pedal outside on a road bike, evidently my current anxiety about riding outside is exclusive to tri bikes?

I woke up on Saturday and rode to meet my crew. I noticed that the clouds didn’t look like dry weather clouds but the weather forecast said no rain, so that had to be right. Right??? We got sprinkled on during the first part of the ride, but nothing major, so went out to the long climb that was the cornerstone of the ride and climbed for five miles or so, which was truly amazing. I would have loved to do more, but needed to turn around to get all my luggage to UPS by 1.

I flipped and started descending. It felt weird, I was having to ride in the little (easy) ring pedaling downhill because the headwind was so wildly strong. And then it started to rain. Not to sprinkle, but rain HARD. With the headwind, it felt like hail in the face. On this day that was supposed to be dry #MurphysLaw.

I made it back to the condo, soaked and freezing, trembling and unable to feel my extremities. I ran around a bit and took a hot shower to warm up, also because I was covered in mud from riding in the weather, and then scurried to get all my heavy bags into the car to trek over to UPS:

That’s my bike in the back seat. Thank goodness for a full-sized car!

I arrived just before 1 and unloaded all my goods. The older lady working at the UPS store started scanning my bags and taking them to the back. And then she picked up the Kickr. And promptly dropped it on my foot and told me that my stuff was too heavy and I’d need to the carry it to the pick-up location myself. Tell me about it, lady, I’ve been dragging these bags around for weeks! And BTW she also let me know that since we were shipping ground, I didn’t actually have to drop the bags by 1 PM because that was only for air, my bags would be picked up on Monday. Okay cool, glad I rushed around for that.

I was happy to spend the rest of the day relaxing and enjoying some wine and a final toast with Carry and Kathy.

Trains

Sunday was mostly as expected. Riding that bike again, with no rain this time! And then cleaning the remnants of that rainy ride off the bike and out of the car to return both.

I dropped off the car and was trying to rearrange my luggage for the flight into just four bags (check two, carry two) but was unsuccesful. Though I did manage to get down to five! I also hadn’t been able to shower yet, so I was gross and dirty and hungry. The fellas at the rental car place let me know they could drop me at BART when I returned the car, but Enterprise was closed that day. Huh?? So I called a Lyft to carry me and my five heavy bags to BART:

Where was I headed? Good question! My dear friend Melissa from ATL was in San Francisco for work and had arrived a day early so that we could hang out, so I was en route to say with her in the city and enjoy some quality time.

I made it to the BART stop nearest her hotel with alllll five of my heavy bags in tow, hanging off my person. I disembarked the train and started up the crowded escalator. The moving stair hit my roller bag sending it sideways, and I was struggling to regain control. The bag touched the lady in front of my on the escalator who then proceeded to make a bitc#y comment to my dirty, hangry, frustrated, stressed out self. This may or may not have escalated into a shouting match that turned heads in the middle of the BART station, between two ladies whose hands were full of bags or boxes and were most likely angry at their situations more than anything else. At any rate, that was the pinnacle - or low point - of the whole situation. I hope.

Planes

I’m not done yet. I have a full day of flying OAK -> SLC -> DTW -> MDC. And then later to actually get to Austin. Almost done!

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