#feeling nihilistic

[notdelusionalatall]

#memes #meme #nihilism #feeling nihilistic #we are all going to die #doomer #doomer memes

[bpd-and-icedlattes]

it's such a lonely existence wanting love but being so abused and traumatized that it feels like a fucking death sentence

#actually bpd #bpd feels #bpd shit #bpd stuff #mental health #bpd #mental illness #nihilist #existential nihilism

[canisalbus]

wait... Machete was inspired by Nine Inch Nails? hell yeah. as a fellow NIN enjoyer i'm curious to know what specifically about NIN inspired Machete, if you don't mind me asking?

Machete as a character wasn't inspired by it, but I've mentioned that he likes NIN in the modern au.

#just feels like the kind of music that would speak to him #especially at the height of his nihilistic and depressed phase #he comes from a religious background and spent his teen years in a messy crisis of faith #and then trying to aggressively squirm free from it's influence #answered #anonymous

[doodlebloo]

I’m sure I’ve said this but Penelope Scott “Feel Better” is so c!Tubbo it’s actually insane.

#i think i might have died there twice and i would do it all again... im a nihilist a soldier an ocd machine... LMANBERG TRAUMA!!! #i guess i really loved you and now youre over there and im way over here what am i gonna do... EXILE TRAUMA! #i was worth something i fucking earned something i had a right to live a right to die a right to choose too... NEEDING TO FEEL USEFUL! #i dont wanna get over it id give anything to miss you again... REPRESSION OF EMOTIONS! #HE DOESNT MISS HIS DEAD LOVED ONES BC THEY ALWAYS COME BACK AND HE CANT AFFORD TO LET HIMSELF GRIEVE.! #all my filthy life i loved someone i barely knew... HE BARELY EVEN KNEW CRANBOO.! #DO YOU HEAR ME IS ANYONE THEREEEEEE #IF I COULD DRAW ID MAKE THE MOST SOUL CRUSHING ANIMATIC...... #doodle.txt

[breha]

anne rice puts a lot of emphasis on the idea that vampires feed off life, not death. the blood of the dead will hurt them, and in the books they're canonically instinctively disgusted by corpses. in the show louis claims disgust and lestat seems mostly disinterested, as if corpses are indistinguishable from other trash, but the effect is the same. claudia's post-charlie preoccupation with the dead body as an object isn't just risky; it's unnatural, even by vampire standards.

#sorry i watched like 15 minutes of claudia scenes on mute to make that last poem post and now i'm insane again #i feel like we have not collectively spent enough time on her spree killing period #body parts in boxes like saints' relics proof of death which is also proof of there having been life. ok #manic nihilistic risk-taking but also just wanting to keep something. anything. she cut some woman's tit off #vampire posting

[sleepy-bebby]

#memes #relatable memes #meme #mood #relatable #relatable meme #existential crisis #existential thoughts #vibe #depression #how i’m feeling now #nihilist memes #nihilsm #nihilism memes #existential depression

[demonslayedher]

Hantengu: As Bad As You Can Get Without Being Muzan

I've touched on this in old meta entries and I'm just going to wind up linking them here, but a friend got me going on this again today, so I'll state it again: Hantengu is one of the most insidious characters in this whole series, if you're going by sweeping themes of self-mastery which Gotouge may or may not have consciously intended.

For starters, I'm going to compare Hantengu to his polar opposite, Rengoku Kyojuro, mostly by referring you this post where I already explained how Kyojuro displays samurai-style idealized virtues of self-mastery, stoicism, and inner peace about death or aging. A common theme in oni lore is how letting one's passions run amok is what brings out the demon any person has potential to become, whether these passions are greed or worry or even joy. Kyojuro is very clearly a passionate person, but he's self-aware enough to know that his passions must be kept in check in order to benefit from them, and that means putting effort into maintaining them. He's seen how that can lead to burn out as in the case of his father, so he maintains his own balance by recognizing and accepting the harsh truths of any situation with as much grace as he can muster, recognizing and taking steps to overcome his own shortcomings, and recognizing and making a choice to "set his heart ablaze" instead of getting lost in frenzy.

Hantengu, on the other hand, lets his passions run so amok that they take their own physical forms, and even then no single one of them is ever consistently powerful enough to be sustained for long before he's spawned something new based on whatever new frenzy he's in. It's his reckless abandon of self-control that made him so demonically powerful.

There are other characters who lack self-control, though--Inosuke and Zenitsu are who they are because they are the perfect agents to introduce chaos to any scene. They gradually take steps to learn self-mastery, however--Zenitsu is hyperaware of his own failings, to the point of rumination, and Inosuke is hypoaware. However, at their core, their desire to do better by other people leads them down paths of self-improvement, a path which keeps them aligned with humanity as opposed to the allure of powerful demons.

Demons in this series display similarly admirable traits, though--Kokushibo and Akaza have striven as hard as any Corp member to improve themselves, for instance. Gyutaro and Daki might have had blatant disregard for others due to a lingering jealousy and hatred for how much better everyone else always had things than they did, but they have always taken active roles in standing up for themselves and trying to improve their circumstances.

If we dive into more loathsome, demented demons, we still see that they know themselves enough to own their faults, whether they see them as faults are not. Douma is quick to recognize his own lack of passion, Enma is unashamed as about what gives him pleasure and uses his underhanded, self-protecting tactics in order to play the long game in his strategy, Gyokko is an artist, and Muzan is perfectly clear and at peace with who he is and what he wants. Muzan's desires are so plain to him that it even opened up a believable opportunity for Tanjiro to feel sympathy for him in their final encounter, though Tanjiro made the choice not to.

Tanjiro never even entertained the notion of pitying Hantengu, though.

I'll come back to Tanjiro, but to borrow from this post about themes in KnY as they relate to oni lore: In many philosophies, even an excess of positive emotions can be detrimental, and people who follow those philosophies are instead encouraged to not given into any emotion too strongly. Likewise, the lack of a virtue can be bad, but an excess of it becomes a vice.

While the Ki-Do-Ai-Raku fearsome foursome represent the danger of unchecked, excessive emotions, Zouhakuten represents an excess of virtue, which turns it into a vice. From an outside perspective, of course Tanjiro was doing the right thing attacking a tiny oni, because this oni will go on killing people if he doesn't, but Zouhakuten focuses so intensely on the injustice of attacking the small and weak that he is ignorantly convinced of his own self-righteousness.

The other demons don't do this, particularly--they justify what they do, like Daki saying how this is just the way the world works that beautiful and powerful oni can do whatever they want because that is how the world works, but she doesn't claim her actions are righteous. Muzan also makes rational points--which Zouhakuten echos--about how the demon slayers drive a lot of the violence due to their own inability to make peace with their lot in life, and going out of their way to attack demons. However, as much as Muzan believes he is superior, he doesn't belief he is a god who can cast moral judgement on others, nor is he interested.

Zouhakuten, taking the form of a deity that fiercely protects the precepts of Buddhism and threatens those who defy it, makes the daring claim that he is just.

The Demon Slayers Corp members, at least those like Tanjiro, are guilty of the same thing. The difference, however, comes back to self-awareness. For example, Tanjiro is confronted with the question of whether Zouhakuten/Hantengu has ever eaten anyone in Tanjiro's life, and as he has not, Tanjiro must at least question if justice is on his side anyway in attacking Zouhakuten. It was an easy answer, but being mortal and easily killed for sticking his neck out by picking fights with demons, it's something Tanjiro continually has to question and reaffirm.

Yes, the answer is always easy for Tanjiro, and yes, there are Corp members who are only in it for the glory or the money (and these characters are not treated as heroes). However, Tanjiro must also continually self-reflect on his own weaknesses and failings. Taisho Secrets tell us he's even reviewing his training and battles in his sleep to analyze and learn from them, and we see his continual efforts to improve no matter how beaten down he's gotten. In the heat of battle he has to keep himself confident and focused. He's got to keep from beating himself up unfairly, and he's got to keep from getting over-confident, it's a balance to maintain and it takes practice to read oneself with clarity.

He's constantly having to practice self-mastery, which means Total Concentration of whatever strength he needs to pull from, including passions like righteous anger that make it feel like his heart and/or forehead are ablaze. It takes him practice to be able to keep rebounding, but he's got humility to be able to learn from others, take criticism, and analyze himself with clarity.

These are the virtues which Kimetsu no Yaiba extols, and which most separates the paths of righteous from the paths of those who who gave into their passions.

As a few other examples: --Nezuko retains her virtues by recognizing her own weakness and focusing on self-mastery --Rui lost himself in a feeling of entitlement, conviction in his own sense of justice, and disappointment in his parents. Or so he thought! That was all the result of running away from a truth about himself he didn't want to face; the fact that he was the one responsible for breaking his family bonds. --The Pillars, with all their human faults, remain righteous because they could easily succumb to their own sorrows, angers, and self-loathing. The fact that they do not--however much these things have messed them up--and they keep striving to better themselves, for the sake of a conviction in something difficult to achieve otherwise.

Zouhakuten, instead of rising above his own shortcomings, is a deeper concentration of, a wallowing in those unbridled passions. Being so convinced of his own righteousness, he does not have any clear self-understanding, and therefore, has no inclination toward self-mastery.

He is, after all, Hantengu.

Hantengu made himself into what he is because he convinced himself of his own lies about his own helplessness, and this utter lack of self-awareness and his unchecked passions are what make him a demon. By doing nothing to improve himself, he grew out of control. And, ultimately, Hantengu is selfish. Everything must revolve around him and how he is the most wretched creature, the most powerless thing to ever have the harshness of the world thrust upon it. Among a cast of relatable demons, made victims of their own poor luck or circumstance or a desire to amend some wrong done to them, Hantengu is the worst because he got himself there for nothing but his own self-centered lie.

While all the demons have relatable traits which have flown out of control, he's the most realistically like someone we all know or have met. He's the most benign and hardest to catch, one whom many philosophical, religious, or therapeutic texts try to warn against for how his insidious fleeing from truth grows into something monstrous.

The scariest part is that the wallowing Hantengu might be closer than we think.

#and now I'm going to bed #can you tell I'm excited to watch Noh this week? #Hantengu #kny fandom theories and meta #by this logic Douma is also pretty bad but for nihilistic reasons #and at least Douma displays a willingness to change his mind if challenged #I don't care about anything ACTUALLY NO I THINK I LIKE YOU SHINOBU LOOK I DO HAVE FEELINGS AFTER ALL THIS IS NICE #and what's fun with Muzan is that we get to see his worldview challenged by panic #but also Muzan KNOWS he's a coward and OWNS THAT by trying to run away #AND I LOVE IT #I love all the tension from seeing the battle from inside his head #anyway #right #bedtime

[total-drama-shark]

Fanart of the first two chapters of “A Guide To Surviving The Apocalypse” by @noahtally-famous

Plz plz plz go read it it’s very very good and I’m really interested in seeing where it goes <3

#total drama #td Dave #td shawn #dashawn #tw blood #tw unsanitary #I mean zombie blood is unsanitary isn’t it? #also #review time in the tags #my favorite dashawn fic ever and like they aren’t even like friends yet #I rlly like the characterization in it. Shawn specially because I often see him mis-characterized in fics #also at least I feel the fic does a good job keeping the tone serious but not nihilistic. characters still have hopes and fun and find joy #I love that #also it really gets a good idea of Dave and Shawn’s dynamic and what makes them work together which is so important #kit your fic is wonderful I hope I’ve made that clear <33

[queencaramilflinda]

Everyone during neverafter 15: oh my god these social interactions are going horribly they’re all doing so bad!

Me, neurodivergent and cannot read social cues: idk mostly these seem fine

#like… Pinocchio overshared for sure #but I didn’t think the rest of them were too bad? like they rolled poorly yes but the actual conversations went fine? I thought? #i at least didn’t think they were as bad as everyone else seems to think #like… with ylfa. when you are a young girl and you meet an older woman who is Like You and successful you are drawn to that #her questions didn’t seem invalid if a bit personal #like ‘how did this happen to u? how do u find the answers and the strength to be successful when your like this the way we are now?’ #that was fair to ask! there was a moment before that where they even clocked eachother as beasts! and then ylfa asked about Pib #which seemed fine to me. like she was genuinely asking advice and she got shutdown with like a one word answer #I feel like la bête did worse in that interaction than ylfa did #none of the stuff with gerard was really his fault within that interaction. Brennan surprised Murph with the read the cards outloud thing #he handled it the best he could under the circumstances #Pib did great. Pinocchio overshared but his intentions and actual words were sweet! traumabonding! #Rosamund did great! she was kind and she said what she wanted like yeah! not too bad! #i don’t think Ally intended to actually put dirt in the cookies Brennan kind of pushed that and I don’t think a lot of what he said was bad #I think ally could’ve handled it better in the sense that they could’ve just told the truth and been vague abt the questions being abt #the book but the stuff about being so overly nice and a bit unnerving seemed like an accurate and not very offensive way of putting it #even before they knew about the nihilistic princess cabal stuff they thought rapunzel was creepy #cienna talks #neverafter

[designernishiki]

just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.

tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.

#however. I also think it would clash with his tendency to be way more cynical and nihilistic than his persona makes him seem #like I do think he’d be pretty fucking sure in his gut And with his logic that kiryu wasn’t dead #but there’d be a pesky depressive part of him that’d scold him for being too idealistic or hopeful in a world that’s so fond of #torturing him. he doesn’t think himself Lucky to say the least. but if he held out hope for saejima while he was on death row for literally #years and saejima did make it back to him in one piece eventually– he’d have some ammo to reason with himself if that makes sense #that + I feel like saejima upon hearing him spiral into supposedly ‘realistic’ nihilism would Strongly reassure him #via reminding him that HE made it back to majima in the end. and that saejima himself knows from experience what a faked death feels like #and how holding onto hope Can in fact be fruitful in the end. overall a bad time for majima after kiryu’s fake death obviously but #he’d be surprisingly stable with all that going for him. makes me think he and saejima would really be the ones keeping daigo from falling #apart. considering he doesn’t have basis for the kind of hope they’re capable of having. almost everyone important to daigo dies eventually #his dad. mine right in front of him. now kiryu. boy must have abandonment issues off the damn charts. #I also like to think he hung around shinada a bit after that incident to just have Something good and pure in his life occasionally. but #he’d be cautious and occasional about it out of fear that he’d ruin shinada’s life or cause him trouble #anyway. many thoughts about all this. they didn’t dive nearly enough into the old guard characters’ reactions to kiryu’s ‘death’ so. yeah #rambling #y6 #majima #kazumaji

[andromeda3116]

"One day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald, I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I'm sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."

--Lord Vetinari, Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett

#discworld #gnu terry pratchett #lord vetinari #havelock vetinari #discworld quotes #i love that philosophy and feel it in my gut and bones: #''if there is a higher power then it's our prerogative to be better than it'' #like that quote from nation about the gods letting you down and how kneeling to them would be bowing to murderers and bullies #or the whole theme of small gods where the higher power needs to learn to care about the people he demands worship from #pratchett often returns to this theme of ''what do you do when your god(s) fail you?'' #and having once felt like my god absolutely failed me - although i didn't have the words to see it like that at the time - that resonates #i've said before that that was such a revelation: those were the words of my last unanswered prayer #i have many intellectual reasons now to be an atheist but at the core it's... #if the universe is chaos then it cannot be cruel. there is no one who could have saved you but didn't for their own opaque reasons #if there is no god then no god failed me or left me drowning in despair for a whole year #small gods helped me conceptualize that in ways that defy words and literally changed my life and perspective for the better #anyway. this quote is magnificent. ''mother and child feasting upon mother and child'' #and it makes so much of vetinari's character make so much sense #he looked at the world through cynical and bitter eyes but instead of becoming a nihilist who manipulated the cruel world for his own gain #he said ''we can and must be better than this'' #(this is why i feel like kaz brekker - under inej's influence - should grow up to be like havelock vetinari) #(the one who clenches his fist and fucking *fixes* this goddamned place)

[vaugarde]

i am 11 years old

#NDJDJDJDJDJDHDHDH i forgot how nihilistic krookodile is???? he feels like he walked right out of gti #which iiii honestly do like. it shows that the problem didnt really go away bc you cant just wish away depression or anything #he probably just wasnt reached #echoed voice #pmd posting

[shredsandpatches]

@skyeventide your Mannposting made me think of this, from Dorothy Sayers' The Devil to Pay, a 1939 Faust adaptation about which I have some mixed feelings (apologetics kinda make me sneeze) but the final act, in which the Angel of Death files a counter-claim against Mephistopheles for Faustus' soul and everyone gets to argue things out, is really great.

#hot faust summer #sayers was anglo-catholic so she clearly vibed with it #her faustus basically sells his soul for idealistic reasons and collapses into nihilist hedonism out of disappointment #i do sort of bristle at the midcentury apologetic takes on What Is Wrong With Us All in This Modern World tho #but still #this is actually a rare exception to my conviction that faust's fate never feels earned and that is the point #i guess because while idk where my actual religious convictions are these days #my catholic upbringing was influential enough that purgatorial endings always get me

[c-hrona]

I just passed the last hour reading about Pa/estine and G4za, to see what happened tonight after the... what. Slaughter? Genocide? Holocaust?

I read all of these terrible news from the comfort of my own house, after a good night of sleep and warm breakfast. Now I have to stop reading because I have things to do.

But I feels so ashamed.

How the fuck are we supposed to go on in a world that is actively killing people and doesn't give a single fuck?!?

How do we keep doing things knowing that mass murders are happening always, at any time?

How can I feel like a human being when fellow human beings are dehumanized and treated like animals?!?

What the fuck is going on with humanity?!?!?

#sorry for the wave of doomness but I'm really feeling the nihilist in this fine morning #and we shouldn't!!! #we have no ficking rights to feel this way because we are not under bombs #yet the powerlessness #the anger #the shame of being in a country that support this genocide #fuck everything #delete later #when I'll feel like a human being again

[ccarrot]

I once read an Evangelion meta post but there was a line that hit me like a bus. It was like. Asuka and Shinji are both dogs, but where Asuka is all bark and no bite, Shinji is all bite and no bark.

like. yes that's so fucking accurate. And,, they're both people pleasers

#i gotta knock my boy shinji back down because he might be humanity's saviour or whatever but he's also an extremely erratic and violent kid #and also a misogynist piece of shit. #i have a lot of issues with End of Evangelion Rebuild and the complete character assassination that Shinji is put through but. #that doesn't change the fact that he sa'd asuka .. more than once #hh i used to really hate shinji actually like a lot but he's grown on me over time. I quite like him now don't doubt it #Personally i hate end of evangelion. a lot more. it actually feels like a very mean spirited and nihilistic reading of core message of eva #but it DID give me that fanTASTIC first 30-50 minutes after the hospital scene #just everything after that up to shinji starting Instrumentality is my Favoritest #i like the manga's version of events more by a long shot actually #READ THE NGE MANGA

[chushanye]

"my interpretation is more meaningful than yours" this "___ piece of media is objectively bad" that. yeah, well have you considered I'm having fun? 🤨 have you considered that I strive to be joyful rather than striving to prove the worth of my opinions? 🙄

#analysis of meaning is great but dont let art elitism/perfectionism convince you you need to have the ultimate and perfect #reading or interpretation #or that the joy and entertainment you derive from a piece of media is directly correlated with how intellectual you can be about it #sometimes the goal is just entertainment #and thats okay #this is not to discourage media literacy or criticism of any kind #but it is to discourage people making others feel bad for not being #'smart enough to understand the TRUE interpretation of xyz' #like some of you are starting to sound like rick and morty 'you need a high IQ for this show' dudebros #esp when you say shit like 'cant ppl do better analysis then a 3rd grader' for shit that literally comes down to personal opinion #like ik some ppl miss the entire point of a piece very often and i find that frustrating too #but lets be real some of yall just attack other peoples interpretations cause they contradict your own #and not cause theyre actually problematic or misinterpretations #'a nihilist reading of this character is much more meaningful than an autistic reading' what if i killed you #both is good. jesus i thought yall liked bisexuals. #I AM SLAPPING A COEXIST STICKER ON YOUR FOREHEAD but instead of religious symbols its fandom #multiple readings can exist at once please ppl for gods sake #fandom #long notes #important