#existential depression

[goldtearsapollo]

I often think about how I want to die… but I don’t really want to die, I just want to not feel like this. I just want to not be here in this reality where life is painful. I want to go somewhere else where everything is ok. I really want to live actually. I want to live and be happy… but I can’t.

#tw depression #sewercide #body dysmorphia #bdd #depressing life #mental illness #mentally exhausted #mental health #tw depressing stuff #sewer slide #lonelly #hopelessness #sorry for being depressing #body dysmorphic disorder #executive dysfunction #dead inside #self h@te #selfharn #self loathing #existential depression #that funny feeling #sadgirl #sad girl hours

[sleepy-bebby]

#memes #relatable memes #meme #mood #relatable #relatable meme #existential crisis #existential thoughts #vibe #depression #how i’m feeling now #nihilist memes #nihilsm #nihilism memes #existential depression

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

#dank memes #funny post #meme #dank #silly #dark humor #funny #funny pics #funny pictures #dankest memes #humor #memes #comedy #existential depression #schizophrenia #smiling friends

[nostalgicvybe]

Imagine

#nihilism #nihilist #existential nihilism #existential dread #existential thoughts #existential depression #existential philosophy #existentialism #war aesthetic #aesthetic #poets on tumblr #artists on tumblr #writers on tumblr #existential crisis #dark acedemia #dark aesthetic #grunge #grunge aesthetic #grungetumblr #grungecore #feels #right in the feels #existential angst

[smokethendie]

More pictures taken in Stray

#stray 2022 #stray game #stray spoilers #cat game #sony playstation #playstation #futurism #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk #blade runner 2049 #blade runner #green core #red core #video game photography #video games #photography #existential depression #adobe lightroom #beautiful photos #photoshop #made with kodak #kodachrome #cigarette #coffee #don’t smoke kids #my phone is dying #picture #robot aesthetic #robots #outer space

[zandraillustration]

living my life dazed and confused

#small business #existential depression #cute art #my art #enamel pins #art #zandraillustration #mental health #burnout

[trilobyteme]

tfw when you want to be fucked but dysphoria...

#hornyposting #but not really #cuz i just want to curl up into a ball and cry #or just #existential depression #im sick of this

[thelifethaticouldstilllive]

To a man devoid of blinders, there is no finer sight than that of the intelligence at grips with a reality that transcends it. ... The doctrines that explain everything to me also debilitate me at the same time. They relieve me of the weight of my own life, and yet I must carry it alone.

The Myth of Sisyphus, 55. Albert Camus

#camus #albert camus #the myth of sisyphus #sisyphus #philosophy #existentialism #existential depression #existential nihilism #books & literature #booklover #nietzsche #poetry #cowboy bebop #the beatles

[la-lil-alien]

#but why tho #big facts #big mood #pretty much yeah #existentialism #existential questions #existential despair #existence memes #existence #existential anxiety #existential crisis #existential dread #existential fear #existential depression #existential nihilism #existential philosophy #existential thoughts #existential musings #tired of existing #existential comics #mentally unstable #why am i still here #why am i like this #why are we here? #what are we doing here #im hungry #i need food #food for thought #musings #literal insanity

[featureenvyproductions]

eyan eternal chapter 20

FINALLY it's here....sorry it took so long for me to get this done. I've been having such a TIME with a depressive phase and you know how the ol executive functioning is when that happens. i'm also in the process of moving when i don't want to be...maybe i will ramble about that later. 

anyway this isn't the best chapter ever but hopefully it ties up like one or two things i thought were lose ends?

quick note that there's discussion of death and dying here. might be a heavy topic for some.

definitely in my "ej peppering in his own existential dread" era

i also just have a thing about glowing orbs

anyway if you want to catch up you can take a look at my chapter tag: 

https://www.tumblr.com/featureenvyproductions/tagged/Eyan%20Eternal%20Chapter

or you can view the slightly higher quality version of the chapter on my website:

http://featureenvyproductions.com/comics.php?initialcomicid=3&initialchapter=20

 and as promsied, I'll summarize the last couple heavy chapters below the cut

ok so if you haven’t been able or didn’t want to read the last couple chapters, basically what happened is zero’s existential depression from presuming his friends secretly didn’t want him around in the virtual immortality world hit its peak and he tried to destroy himself. he didn’t succeed but was pretty damaged and eyan - who also got damaged but reformed bc vampire healing powers - found him in the wreckage by hearing his thoughts. by this chapter we’re all reconciled and pieced back together.

if you want to know why the humans in this flashback look different from what we’re used to it’s because the ones who ended up on this planet evolved over time to adapt to the stronger gravity (like 2.5x earth’s). so they’re small and have thicker bones and extra strong muscles and tendons. i like to think them being different from other humans (not just physically) is why they got along with zero. i’ll probably write more about the society at some point (maybe a bonus prequel some day?) but it was pretty close to anarchist and had given up space travel in favor of focusing on deconstructing the mind itself. due to a lot of factors they wouldn’t have meshed well with a lot of the other humans they encountered, especially the purely space-faring civilizations. because they’re not space faring and weren’t interested in trade, they were left off of a lot of maps intentionally as just not being worth the journey for most people. so it’s this outlier status that probably didn’t hurt when it came to them being able to accept another outlier.

i haven’t met a person yet for whom this isn’t true to some degree.....but i put “almost” just in case :)

cue everyone looking at me projecting like i play the films at the movie theater

#Eyan Eternal Chapter #robot #vampire #queer comic #queer artist #alien planet #existential depression #technology #orbs

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

#dank memes #funny post #meme #dank #silly #dark humor #funny #funny pics #funny pictures #dankest memes #humor #memes #comedy #existential depression #depression

[nostalgicvybe]

To never have been born may be the greatest blessing of all

#war #war photography #war aesthetic #war in ukraine #war in donbass #ukraine #russia #russian soldiers #chechen wars #syrian war #syrian #sadcore #sadnees #sad poetry #existential depression #existential nihilism #existential dread #nihilism #nihilist

[anthropologistfromentropy]

I got positive feedback for my writing in my course today. But the way one older student called it irony and said paying bills doesn't sound like a sadistic prank hurt so much. I wish I could tell them.

How knowing you have talent and potential, but having an exremely poor and inconsistent ability to actually do even the most tasks, is a traumatizing experience society doesn't acknowledge. (Especially when you burn out really easily, and get physically sick from stress - sometimes even having had anaphylaxis)

How living as a paraphile and having had to endure years of death and rape threaths in order to find peer support and friends you don't have to fear would hate you, is a traumatizing experience.

Still, doctors and psychologists don't understand why you would need help, if you don't fear you might hurt somebody. Still, you need to find motivation to study and be a part of society that wants you and your friends dead.

How living through 3 years of crisis after crisis - covid, attacks on trans rights and a fear of genoside, war in Ukraine - is a traumatizing experience. Somehow social security and my university expets that shouldn't affect my progress in my studies.

So yeah, I feel like capitalistic expectations that I should be able to write my thesis and pay bills like everything is fine is a sadistic prank. This existential trauma and stress is trying to destroy my ability to write, my ability to function.

I wish I could just collapse on my knees and weep. But society won't even let me have that. It won't even let me talk about my trauma. THIS is what I mean by no one can hear or understand me.

At least, I keep surprising myself by what one can bear, and still find beauty and meaning in their life. Viktor Frankl was definitely right.

#vent post #ableism #neurodivergent #actually adhd #adult adhd #paramisia #anti capitalism #paraphiles please interact #existential despair #existential depression #existential trauma #oppression #minority stress #chronic burnout #mcas #viktor frankl #man's search for meaning

[jpbo0]

Resilience

Every granule of sand

has sifted through my hands.

Now I refuse to throw this away,

and it’s hard for me to say,

but it’s taking all my strength.

If not for this morsel of resilience

there would be nothing left.

The preset, the future, All’d be bereft.

I want something to hold.

A vision of mine not to fold.

There’s just is so much I’ve wanted

but all these ideas were never planted.

Many were fleeting, never for me to keep;

For those regret is stinging deep.

Now I’m holding on so tight

trying to paint all my pictures right.

#my poem #poetry #poem of the day #writing #spilled ink #feeling sad #existential depression #I’m not joking anymore #life is scary #and doesn’t go the way I’ve planned

[saskiaxblog]

i want to die. my life is so fucking hopeless. i feel like i won't achieve anything. i'm so sad and i want to cry. help me to stay alive for my family because i can't deal with myself anymore..

#mentally fucked #tw self destructive behavior #sadnees #tw anxiety #tw selfhate #sad thoughts #tw depression #tw self destruction #depressing quotes #tw depressing thoughts #tw life #life #existential depression #depressing post #depression #tw depresja #cry for help #fucking hell #dead or alive #tw death #tw addiction #tw hate #tw depressing stuff #tw crying #im crying #i want to cry #this is a cry for help #fuck everything #smutne życie #życie

[madfoolish]

#the void #sorry for being depressing #politics #peace #quiet #existence #existential depression #tarnished #dark souls #soulsearching #my god