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gracieheartspedro · 10 months

Text

Cool About It

joel miller x fem! reader

Description: after your first encounter, joel turns into an asshole every time you're around. when tommy makes you two go out on patrol together, it turns into a muddled mess. turns out, he didn't hate you at all, he just sucks at emotions.

Part 2/3

FIND PART 1 HERE

PART 2 HERE

Word count: 6.3k

Warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, post!outbreak joel, killing of infected (including a child), blood, some LIGHT gore, age gap (more specified in this part), very smutty, unprotected p in v, fingering, oral (f and m receiving), overstimulation, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, pet names, joel is still a menace to society and a jerk

Author's Note: Thank you thank you thank you!! you all are so fabulous and sweet. I'm gonna make a masterlist soon, so be on the lookout. I'm also starting a tag list so, if you want to be included, please let me know! All feedback is welcomed. I love you all sm.

I came prepared for absolution if you'd only ask

So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets"

I remember it's impossible to pass your test

But I'm trying to forget about it

Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it

Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it

Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want Joel on more of your patrols.

The patrols after your night together ended up being filled with unspoken sexual tension. You’d go home sexually frustrated and hungry for more, but you were never bold enough to make a move. And to be real, you weren’t sure if you should. He’d say something about keeping your shoulders straight when you shot, you’d say something stupid like “make me” and he’d spit back with, “I may just do that, girl.”

But it never went anywhere.

Even if you tried to make a pass, he’d make an excuse or remind you that you two were strictly working at the moment.

You once invited him over after a particularly long shift, wanting some relief from the ache between your thighs.

“Got things to get done at home,” He said, “Maybe another time.”

So after that week of patrols, you were suddenly never on his patrols again. You were put on the exact opposite shifts, actually. You had some sneaking suspicions that he asked Tommy to switch it up. He stopped looking at you during morning meetings and eventually you decided to drop the whole idea of him.

It still crossed your mind every time you saw him, though. How he felt on your lips. How his body felt connected with yours.

Your breathing would change every time you reminisced on your time together. He would consume your mind for brief periods and you couldn’t get away. You kept telling yourself that time would lessen the blow, but it never did.

So you tried your best to forget.

On one particularly chilly morning, you head to your scheduled time at the stables. You’d be going out with Jesse this time around. He was a newcomer, a real sweetie. Tommy wanted you to teach him all you knew about patrolling and securing certain areas.

But when you arrive, you notice Tommy, Joel, and Jesse all standing around waiting. You hadn’t said much to Joel the last couple weeks, only a wave or a quiet mumbled hello. His back was turned to you, but you knew those shoulders and back all too well.

“Are we all going out this morning?” You question, adjusting your braid on your shoulder. Joel turns to you, not expecting your voice to come up behind him. His eyebrows furrow at your presence.

“Yes, ma’am,” Tommy smiles, “You and Joel are gonna be going up to the ski lodge. Heard there’s a hoard or two out there, they need to be cleared.”

“I thought you said I was going with Jesse?” Joel speaks up a bit too quickly. Tommy’s words caught you off guard, so you just stand there waiting for him to respond to Joel, but it never comes.

You swallow, clearing your throat.

“No, I was supposed to go out with Jesse, actually.”

Jesse looks at everyone confused.

He was a cute kid. 20 years young, fresh faced, ready to take on anything. He had all this energy, something you wish you still had. Now you had a bad back, fucked knees, and a terrible sleeping schedule. You were only about 10 years older than him and you’re falling apart.

“We can all just go together?” Jesse offers, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders. You knew that’d be shot down quick, especially when it came to a newbie. If there’s infected, we never throw the new guys into the pits of hell. They’d never want to patrol again.

Tommy shakes his head, “No, I want her and Joel to clear that area before I take you that route. They know it well. We are going to head towards the power plant. We have to bring back some supplies I have stored there.”

Joel’s eyes could laser Tommy in half at that moment. He was pissed and completely blindsided.

You surrendered to the idea, too tired to argue and fight about something so stupid. You also didn’t question their orders, simply because they knew better than you. You wanted to make sure Jackson was safe, just like everyone else.

You gesture Jesse to give the brothers some time alone, motioning towards the horses. You’d at least make sure the horses were ready for his trip out with Tommy. He grabs the reins of two horses, walking them outside towards the front gate. You grab the other two horses, doing the same thing.

He took notice to your tired eyes, “You okay going out today? You look tired.”

“Wow, Jesse,” You laugh, “I thought I looked great this morning when I woke up.”

He instantly starts to backpedal, not picking up your joke. You shake your head, trying to talk over all his apologies.

“I’m just messin’ Jesse. I am tired, but I’ll be okay, don’t you worry.”

He smiles, nudging your shoulder a bit.

“You just gave me a heart attack,” He chuckles, “You sure though? Even with Joel?”

You glance over at the Millers, watching them argue about whatever Joel was truly mad about. You knew in your head it was because he didn’t want to be around you. The feeling was becoming mutual. You never wanted to make anything awkward or difficult, but you guess that’s exactly what you did.

You just shrug. Jesse takes that as your response, grabbing the reins of your horse and handing them over to you.

“You stay safe out there,” He says, “Don’t let him get under your skin.”

You couldn’t help but snicker, “No need to worry about that, dude.”

–

Oh, but was he getting under your skin.

You initially just nod at every direction he makes at you, remembering that it was like this before anyway. But then he starts to undermine every suggestion you made.

“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“We will be back before sundown, you know that. Don’t be dumb about it.”

“Stoppin’ would be dumb as hell. You can wait.”

You had been begging for 30 minutes to stop and pee. He was not giving in to anything you’d say. After awhile, you could not hold it anymore. You pull your horse to the side of the trail, not even saying anything to him. You dismount the horse, holding the reins for a moment before you hang them on a branch nearby.

“What are you doin’?” He spits, noticing you off your horse. You come around the horse, giving him a deadly glare. You grab your pack, finding some cloths you bring on your patrols so you can wipe and throw away.

“I have to fuckin’ pee, Joel. I can’t wait any longer.”

“Get back on your horse,” He demands, his posture getting more stiff.

You shake your head, unbuttoning your jeans and turning back to a private area behind a tree. You remember the moments before kissing Joel for the first time. Him telling you how great your ass looked in your jeans. You grimace.

You tug down your pants and squat.

You relieve yourself, quickly using your cloth to wipe when you finish. You toss it behind you, standing up in your spot and turning around to head back to your horse.

You realize Joel is off his horse, bounding towards you. He grabs your arm, pulling you to face him.

“Why don’t you fuckin’ listen?” He says through gritted teeth.

It took everything in you not to fucking snap. You wanted to pull away and scream and yell and throw something at him. But instead your heart just started racing at the contact his hand made with your skin and you physically couldn’t do anything.

He realizes you’re caught off guard. He didn’t grab you hard, just enough shake you a bit to get your attention on him and only him. His facial expression changes as he drops your arm, stepping back a couple of paces. It’s like he realized he was being a bit too aggressive. Maybe it was your expression that brought him back down from whatever pedestal he thought he was on.

“Don’t touch me,” Is all you could think to say. He wasn’t even touching you anymore but you still felt him all over you.

He just nods.

You look down at yourself, realizing your pants are still unbuttoned. You look back up at Joel who’s staring at your panties peaking through your unzipped jeans. His eyes travel back up to yours. You decide to slowly button them back up.

You don’t hear what he says when he peels his eyes away and walks back to his horse. Probably some asshole comment that was better said under his breath.

You both get back on your horses and continue to the ski lodge in silence. Before you scale the one side of the mountain, you hear something.

You keep your eyes peeled for infected. You are almost positive that’s what you’re hearing so you whistle to catch Joel’s attention. You nod to your left, which is the direction you hear the familiar clicking. You grab your rifle from your side saddle, gesturing to Joel to do the same.

You always get this rush when you have to kill infected. It’s not a good rush at all, it’s pure adrenaline.

You dismount again, making sure your horse is tied to a nearby tree. Joel is close behind you as you creep forward towards the noise. The woods are dense with trees but there is also a ton of rock formations that were usually excellent cover.

The clicking gets louder and so does the sound of your heartbeat.

“There,” Joel whispers, gesturing towards a rock. You kneel, creeping up the formation and looking down. There you see not one, not two, but three clickers wondering around a dead deer. It was torn to shreds, blood everywhere. You weren’t bothered by blood at all, it was just the sick smell of decay that got you a bit queasy. You draw your gun up, aiming it towards the clicker closest to you.

“On three,” You murmur to Joel. You knew that you’d had to shoot two at the same time to give you enough time to kill the third with a quick reload.

Joel just nods, drawing his gun up.

“One,” Breath in, “Two,” Hold, “Three” Breath out.

The sounds of guns sent the clicking sounds to an all time high. Your ears are ringing, but you instinctively cock your gun, releasing one shell.

You aim, firing your weapon at the third and final clicker. You hear Joel yell something, but your ears are still ringing.

Then it hits you.

“Three more!”

Every time you’re in a fight or flight situation, you always fight. Old you would run.

You bring your weapon up, noticing Joel’s new position on the boulder. He’s aiming and firing at some infected down hill who are quickly running at you two.

You refocus in searching the area behind you. The last thing you needed was a sneak attack from a stalker. One enters your eye line and you fire. You keep count of how many bullets you have. Three down, four more left.

“Got two on your right!”

You hear Joel’s directions, drawing your weapon up and shooting another stalker between the eyes. The last one was a child, which was always the hardest. You knew that there was no choice, so you pull the trigger, which sent the child flying backwards. You wince a bit, seeing that this was probably just a family who got caught in the wrong situation. You killed all of them in less than a minute. Life wasted.

Silence fills the air, your ears still ringing from endless gunfire. You turn back to Joel who’s breathing heavily and holstering his gun.

You never had to question Joel’s abilities, which made him an excellent patrol partner. He knew exactly how to react in high risk situations.

He made you feel safe.

“Looks like we found one of the hoards Tommy was talking about,” He says, walking up to you, “Lets hope it’s just the one.”

“Glad it was you with me and not Jesse,” You say, relaxing your arm.

“That kid would be dead by now.”

When you’re less than a mile from your stop, you notice some storm clouds taking over the beautiful summer sky. The air starts to change. The wind begins to pick up, blowing your braid back and tickling your bare neck. The air smells like rainwater, sweet and pungent.

You use the silence to think about how simple life use to be. You reminisce about your childhood that was cut too short. You were a young adult when the infection started so you hadn’t been able to get married or settle down with a family. Everything was ripped away from you so prematurely and deep down, you crave that simplicity. Get married, have children, die of old age.

If only you could’ve lived in a world where you didn’t have to kill a child because some random ass fungus took over their humanity.

“We are almost there,” Joel says finally, pulling you out of your thoughts, “We may have to ride out the storm.”

You just nod even though he can’t see you.

The ski lodge was actually very beautiful. It was one of two that was used as a safe house for patrols, this one being your personal favorite. You had been there with Tommy once and he gave you the grand tour. It was reasonably clean for being so old, stocked full of canned items, and had very comfy beds.

You start to bring your horses to the covered back porch when it starts to rain. You grab all your gear, slinging it over your shoulder. Joel jingles a key out of his pocket, racing to the sliding glass doors. He unlocks the door, ripping it open as soon as the rain picks up. You both make it in the quiet lodge, setting your belongings on the kitchen counter.

“I’m going to get the lanterns up and running,” You mumble, heading towards the living room where all the lanterns were scattered about. Joel locks the sliding glass door, before he starts rummaging through his bag.

You turn on as many lanterns as you can, lighting up the room with warm glow.

You find your way onto one of the couches, kicking your boots off.

“Want me to start a fire? We may have to hang out the rest of the night if that storm don’t let up,” Joel questions, sliding his jacket off his shoulders.

You shrug, “Don’t matter.”

He starts to pile up some wood as you find an apple in your bag. You watch him slowly pace back and forth from the wood pile to the huge stone fireplace. You watch his back muscles flex when he picks up a piece of wood. You were using him as a distraction to get you away from those dark thoughts from earlier.

You bite into your apple.

“You bring anythin’ for me?”

Is he fucking with you?

“There’s canned peaches in the cabinets.”

He laughs, lighting the wood with a match. You watch the fire build and build as he messes with the wood. He was squatting, his shirt riding up a bit. Even his lower back was eye catching.

“You don’t wanna share?”

You roll your eyes, “I’m not sharin’ anything with you.”

He turns back to you with a smirk playing on his lips, “Not even a better look at those panties you’re wearing?”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Pardon?”

“You heard me, sweetheart.”

You did hear him, of course, but were in denial of the actual intentions behind the words. He creeps closer, finding a spot on the couch next to you. You take another bite of your apple, staring at him with curiosity.

Was he being serious?

You contemplate your options. Do you play into the game? Do you resist and possibly regret it later? He was such an asshole earlier. But then again, he always is. He was before you slept with him. So was that a valid excuse to not play into the game?

You remember the ache between your legs last night after reading a smutty romance novel. You imagined the characters as you and Joel, yet you never wanted to admit it. You knew that you wanted this, but resisting to give him a taste of his own medicine would be satisfying, too.

“Ya know,” He ponders, leaning over to meet your eyes, “I still have your other pair you left at my house.”

You remember the slight panic you felt the morning after when you couldn’t find them. You knew damn well he’d find them somewhere, but you didn’t think he’d keep them.

“Didn’t even know I left them,” You lie, your eyes averting away from him.

You were a horrible liar.

“You’re pretty cute when you lie, sweetheart,” He grabs your chin, tilting your face back to his, “You left them on purpose. Thought you’d use that as an excuse to come crawling back to me.”

He was being smug, you knew that. For some reason, you don’t cave immediately even though the conversation was making you tingle.

“Crawling back to you? Why would I do that?” You question, “When I have all these other guys who will gladly take up my offers.”

He smiles smugly, “Hm, that doesn’t seem very like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t seem like the type of girl to whore yourself out to a bunch of assholes.”

His finger traces your lower lip, catching it and pulling down. You don’t pull away, soaking up the intense tension in the air.

“You don’t know me, Joel Miller.”

He just stares at your mouth, “I know enough.”

You want to lean in further, push your lips on his and finally surrender to him. But you hold on for a few more seconds. You’re practically quivering under his touch, wanting nothing more to just cut the shit and jump on top of him.

“You told me not to touch you earlier,” he mumbles, “But here you are just fumblin’ over yourself every time I touch ‘ya.”

“Will you just shut the fuck up and kiss me?”

His touch becomes rougher, his one arm pulling you into his lap, the other hand grabbing your face roughly.

“You start talkin’ like that you get nothin’,” his breathing fans your face, blowing your baby hairs away from your forehead, “Be a good girl like before.”

You squirm a bit, trying to lift your head in defiance. It doesn’t work, he has a good grip on you. His eyes are dark as he adjusts you so you are practically mounted on his lap. He releases your face bringing his hand down to your neck. He pulls you down to his lips, connecting them feverishly.

You couldn’t help yourself. You melt into him, your hands wrapping around his neck before sliding them down his chest. His hips are practically rutting into yours. You grind down, moaning out at the contact. You knew that being disobedient wouldn’t get you anywhere, so to get what you want, you knew you’d have to play into his dominance.

He smiles into the kiss, knowing you have been waiting for this moment.

You pull away, pulling your shirt off. He’s looking at you like you’re his next meal. You kind of are.

“Missed these tits,” He says his hands resting on your ribcage, right under your bare breasts, “Best ones I’ve ever seen.”

“Joel,” You groan, fumbling for the button on your pants, “Need you. Bad.”

He chuckles, “Yeah, I know baby.”

He fondles you for a second before latching his lips around your left nipple. His tongue swirls around it before he slightly bites it. You arch your back, wanting more from him but he just pulls away. You roll off his lap, tugging your pants down, including your underwear.

“Ah,” He’s not even paying attention to you butt naked all spread for him, instead he’s leaning down to your pile of clothes. He grabs your panties, holding them up, “Baby pink. You fuckin’ tease.”

“Joel,” You whine, nudging him with your foot, “Enough about my underwear.”

He runs his hands up your leg before standing up and discarding his own shirt and pants. He leaves his briefs on, his cock tenting the gray fabric.

“So eager,” he mocks, “What do you want from me, baby girl? Hm?”

You smile at the million of thoughts running through your head. But you settle for words that you know will drive him wild.

“Do whatever you want to me, Joel.”

He pulls you to the edge of the couch. He’s on his knees like he’s about to pray at the altar to whatever God may exist. Instead, he’s between your legs, speckling your thighs with scratchy kisses. His salt and pepper hair is messy, his sunkissed bare arms highlighted with some freckles. You never noticed them before.

“‘M gonna need your mouth,” He mumbles, raising his fingers to your mouth. You grab his wrist with your hands, lifting his fingers to your lips. You suck on every one, releasing each one with a pop. He watches you with his lips slightly agape, almost hypnotized by the action.

He uses his newly wet fingers to trace your slit before he uses his pointer and middle finger to spread your lips. He’s playing with you, making you writhe underneath his touch. You lift your hips a bit, which causes him to lay his free arm across your lower stomach.

“Patience, sweetheart,” He gives your pussy one lick, “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry.”

He’s good on his word.

He dives into you like a ravenous animal. His tongue hitting every desperate spot within you. You were taken to the same state of mind when he first ate you out. You had no words, just moans of pleasure.

He uses his fingers to toy with your opening, sticking two fingers in initially before he becomes too eager to see you fall apart. He wraps his lips around your swollen clit, suckling and moaning around it. You knew from before that he liked all eyes on him. You watch him as the vibrations mixed with him finger fucking you sends you into your first eye rolling orgasm.

You don’t think you’ve ever cum so fast in your life. It’s a release you’ve been yearning months for, making it even sweeter.

He pulls away, giving your pussy a little slap. It makes you yell out.

“Came without permission, but that’s okay,” He licks his fingers, “You have a couple more in you. You just gotta beg extra for ‘em.”

He was a menace.

You just nod, not able to communicate your actual feelings on him denying you the simple pleasure of cumming all over him. The idea of having to hold back made you a bit eager to see how far you could take it, though.

“Need your mouth now,” He tugs off his underwear, kicking them across the room. You don’t know how, but it almost looks bigger. Maybe it’s the swollen red tip that makes you overawe over it.

“Would you like me on my knees, sir?”

He leers at you, “What a good girl, being so polite… Yes, baby girl, get on your knees in front of me. I wanna see those eyes.”

You crawl off the couch, getting in between his legs. His cock is laying on his lower tummy, just waiting for you. You aren’t super into sucking dick, but this was Joel’s. You know that you had to give it your all. You wanted to give it your all.

You grab ahold of the base of his cock, keeping your eyes on him as you slowly open your lips to take him. Once your hot mouth touches the tip, he hisses in satisfaction.

“Mhm,” He groans, “Take all of it, baby.”

You’re not sure if you can, but you are going to do your very best.

You relax your throat as much as you can, slowly inching his cock down your throat. You’re halfway around it when it hits your gag reflex. You pull back, still keeping his cock wrapped around your lips. You sit up, jerking the base of his cock as you slurp up as much as you can.

“You got it baby,” He encourages, “Relax and take it slow.”

Whenever Joel praises you, you can’t help but let it get to your head.

You take a deep breath in as you take more of him in. Widening your jaw more, you finally get him completely engulfed in your mouth. He twitches inside, which sends a jolt of pleasure to your core. You let him take control, raising his hips a bit to fuck your mouth. He has a hold of your braid, which only adds to the experience. You’ve never had your hair pulled before, but you’re beginning to love the sensation. He’s a moaning mess, chanting your name like a prayer. Your saliva is all over his lower tummy by the time he pulls your mouth away from his cock.

“Gonna make me cum like that if you keep goin’,” He states, pulling you up to his lips. He kisses you, all tongue and teeth, “Let me fuck that pussy, yeah?”

You whimper, “Yes, please.”

“Such a good girl.”

He pulls you up into his lap while you slowly position yourself above him. You loved riding him before and with how sensitive and riled up you were now, you were prepared to ride his cock like it’s the last thing you’d ever do.

He focused his attention on rubbing his cock head between your pussy lips. You bite your lip as soon as he pushes slowly into your entrance. You groan, letting the sweet stretch take ahold of you.

“Atta’ girl,” Joel sighs, “Take all of me in that tight little pussy.”

You gasp as soon as he raises your hips a bit, repositioning how his cock sits inside you. His hand rests on your pelvic bone, pulling you forward. You realize he’s guiding you, helping you grind back and forth on his dick. Every roll of your hips pushes a moan out your throat, making Joel stare up at you with satisfaction. He removes his hands from your hips, bringing his right hand to your throat.

“Fuckin’ Christ, baby girl,” He lets out a wanton moan, while your stomach feels like it’s reaching a boiling point. He realizes how tense your getting so he reaches down with his spare hand, putting more pressure on your clit. “This is my pussy.”

“Mhm.”

“Say it. Say it’s mine.”

“It’s yours, Joel.”

“That’s fuckin’ right, baby girl. All mine.”

“Joel, please,” You cry, “I need to cum.”

“No,” He spits, “You don’t cum until I tell you.”

You clench, trying to resist the release. He notices you slowing down, so he stops choking you. Instead of letting you have a moment to recoup, he grabs your waist again, raising it slightly so he could raise his hips to pound into you. With his fingers still pressing on your bud, he chooses a bruising pace. You are practically screaming, the release imminent.

“Please, please,” You beg, “Joel, I need to.”

He doesn’t stop his assault on your pussy, “You keep beggin’, baby girl. I’ll tell you when.”

“Fuck, fuck,” You can’t stop yourself, the vibration from your incoming orgasm taking over your body, “Please Joel!”

“Cum,” He grits his teeth, “Cum all over this cock, baby girl.”

You have never had an orgasm take over every fiber of your being like it. You throw your head back, yelling Joel’s into the silence of the house. His pace slows down, as your cum soaks his lower half.

“Oh my god,” You groan, not knowing how to formulate a full sentence yet. You were still seeing stars in your vision, as you try to refocus on Joel.

“Holy shit,” He pulls out of you, “You okay?”

You just nod, your head falling forward. Your braid falls over your chest in between your breasts. Joel grabs the end of it, toying with it for a moment while you catch your breath.

“I’ll give you a minute,” He picks you up off him, laying you onto the cushion next to him. You grab his hand as he tries to pull away.

“I don’t need one,” You were still spent from the first two orgasms, it was written all over your face. Joel just chuckles, positioning himself over your body. He cages you in, tilting your face so you make eye contact.

“You ready for me already?”

“Need you.”

He uses his leg to part your thighs, settling between you again. He was still hard, his cock nudging your swollen wet opening.

“I want your eyes on me,” He commands.

“Yes, sir.”

He pushes into you again, your mouth parting in a gasp at how sensitive you were.

He smiles at your reaction while he settles into a steady pace. You try to focus on him, watching his facial expressions as he dives into you over and over again.

Joel had to be sculpted by whatever God created him. Every part of him was angular, his cheekbones quite high. His nose was just about perfect, especially from the side. His side profile was everything.

You truly didn’t think he looked his age. The only thing that kind of gave him away was the grays speckled through his dark hair. Other than that, the guy was a sex god.

You are too busy to admiring him, you don’t even realize how close he is. He’s gripping onto your hips, probably bruising them with how tightly he’s holding them. The way his dick twitches inside you, sends that familiar rush back into your body.

He’s not breaking eye contact. You smirk while he groans pushing harder into you.

��You better cum inside me,” You murmur, “Want you to fill me up.”

“God,” He cries, “So fucking flithy.”

And he loved that about you.

He releases into you with a loud sigh. You don’t teeter over that edge until he pulls out of you, looking to see his work.

He uses his two fingers, pushing them inside you, then back out. He rubs his cum onto your clit, slapping it a couple times. When you jolt in pleasure, he smiles knowingly.

“One more time?”

He positions himself between your legs again. He’s fingering you so lazily but it’s still enough to have you crying out in pleasure. You don’t even have time to respond to him, before you’re falling over the edge and cumming once more.

You lay there, trying to catch your breath again. Joel stands up on wobbly legs, making his way to the nearby bathroom. You didn’t know if this house would be stocked with rags or anything, so when Joel comes out with a folded blanket, you can’t help but giggle.

“This is all we got,” He gestures towards the blanket, “We can burn it when we finish with it.”

You take it from him, running it between your legs. The wooley fabric scratched a bit, but you didn’t have one care in the world.

Until you get a familiar sinking feeling. Like you did something very wrong.

You sit up while Joel takes the blanket, cleaning up himself. You try to stand, your legs feeling like jelly. You pick up your panties from the floor next to Joel’s clothes. You start to grab each of your clothing items, throwing them on as you go. You watch as he does the same.

“I guess this means you don’t hate me,” You mutter, not knowing what to say after what just occurred. You felt guilty and sick with anxiety.

If anyone else sat in on this day with Joel, they’d say the same thing. The way he talks to you, how annoyed he was to be stuck with you on patrol today, everything. It’d make anyone feel not wanted.

He shoots you a glance, “I never hated you.”

He says it with such conviction that you wince, not sure whether to believe him.

“You have ignored me for months. You fought with Tommy because you were stuck with me today. And then on the way here, you yelled at me for having to pee. Called me dum-”

“I didn’t call you dumb.”

You breath in sharply, “You’re just impossible, you know that?”

He shakes his head. You know he wants to say something smart back, but it never comes.

Instead he sits down beside you, keeping his eyes down at his feet. You wait for him to speak for what feels like a lifetime.

“Listen,” He huffs, “I don’t hate you. I am just not good at…”

“Being nice to people?”

He smirks, finally looking up at you, “Sure, but hey… I don’t regret anything that happened. I enjoy our… time together.”

You wanted to strangle him.

After months of contemplating what went wrong, he tells you he doesn’t regret anything.

After spending all that time acting like he did.

You wear your emotions all over your face and Joel realizes it quickly. He rests his hand on your knee, a gentle gesture that makes your heart rate increase by a thousand.

“You made me feel like shit for months,” You admit, trying to hold your composure, “I’ve felt like an idiot since the moment Ellie walked in that morning. You made me feel that way, Joel. You made me feel stupid. And here I am, all this time later, and I still feel fucking dumb. Maybe even dumber now, since I just let you fuck me again.”

His hand travels up to cup your cheek. You felt like crying, but you knew that it wouldn’t do you any good.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, darlin’,” He confesses, “I am sorry for everythin’.”

You felt like you were being manipulated. You always had a terrible time figuring out what a genuine apology looked like. You were used to being exploited and having your heart ripped out and stomped on.

You turn away from his hand, looking out the back sliding glass door. The rain is coming down, pitter pattering on the tin roof over your head. You see lightning go across the sky, hearing the loud crack of thunder seconds later.

You pondered if you should just run in the other direction. Away from Joel, away from the emotions and memories that were being sludged up from the deepest pits of your brain.

“When I grabbed you earlier, you had this horrified look on your face…” Joel starts, bringing your attention back, “It was a face ‘d seen more than a few times. That look of disbelief and fear.”

You just let him continue, not looking him the eyes.

“I never wanna to make you feel that way,” He admits, “I never wanna scare you or hurt you. I knew in that moment, I was using that pent up anger at myself towards you.I just… I spent so much time tryin’ to find ways to keep you away from me because I don’t wanna disappoint you or hold you back.”

You finally look back up at him.

“I am sick of findin’ ways to keep you away. I like havin’ you around.”

You want to believe him so badly.

“I like having you around, too, Joel. I just…” You stammer, “I just need a bit, okay?”

He bows his head, “Yeah, ‘course. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll take watch and wait for the rain to let up.”

You take up his offer, stalking off to the nearby bedroom. You just wanted space, a moment of peace and quiet. Your body was still recovering from the greatest orgasms of your life, now your mind is littered with a million emotions you didn’t know how to muddle through. Once you lay down on the old bed, you realize that sleep would probably bring you back to life a bit. You close your eyes, letting your mind ease out of the chaos of reality.

–

When you wake up, you don’t hear anymore rain. You only hear the crackling of the fireplace. You don’t know how long you’ve been sleeping, which sends you into a slight panic. You waltz out into the living room, seeing Joel lounging on the couch you defiled and reading. It was a random novel, probably from the large bookcase in the hallway.

“We good to head back?” You question.

“Yeah, let’s get home ‘fore they send out a search party.”

You watch him stretch his shoulders as he stands, his jaw clenched in an unrelaxed way. His hair is messy and standing in different directions from the way he was laying. It makes you smile.

“Hey Joel,” You say, walking closer to him, “When we get back to Jackson, would you want to go out to dinner or something?”

His gaze softens. You were really trying, he could tell.

Your rested mind decided it was time to just jump head first.

If Joel was being honest with his intentions, maybe it was time for you to be honest with yourself, too.

“I’d like that, sweetheart.”

“It’s a date, then.”

taglist: @pedrotonin @mysingularitybts @harriedandharassed @paleidiot @misatoad @lottieellz101

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #the last of us #joel miller the last of us #joel miller one shot #pedro pascal #cool about it #joel miller tlou #joel miller x you #joel x reader #joel miller x reader smut #gracielovespedro

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seneon · 3 months

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Woaaah I'm so glad the you write for mashe. I don't know if ur open for request if not please ignore this

How about Rayne having to bring his twin sons to work cuz his wife is out for business then for some reason Mash and his gang came to the Divine visionary and typical mashle shenanigans ensues.

The catch tho is that the one twin son is like a carbon copy of Rayne and the other is the same but hair color is like in opposite sides.

If ur uncomfortable with this please ignore this. But I hope you have a great day!!!

★ little raynes and mashle shenanigans

notes. little raynes omg (im his wife like literally) also this is the last request before i start on a new project 🫡

one rayne, two raynes, three raynes. and another rayne if you're counting finn to look similar to rayne. one twin looks exactly like his father, with half yellow and half black hair split in the center. his lines the same as rayne, both streaks that runs down his eyes. demeanor like his father's— serious, calm, and collected.

what about the other twin? he is exactly the same like his father. well, not really. he has the colour of your hair and a different type of line design. this twin is on the weaker side, seeing how he only has a single line that runs across his nose. just like you, with a single line. being the weaker twin, he was softer than his elder twin brother, often helping around town or anyone at all.

today rayne is all alone with his sons, as his wife had to visit her family's business to help around, so she left the boys with him. rayne is a busy divine visionary, he couldn't just leave his sons alone. so he brought them to his office. what a surprise, his brother's friends are all there. and rayne's eyes twitched at the chaos that is about to happen.

finn is the first one who greets them, for he is their uncle. being the loving and nice uncle finn is, he often spoils them and doesn't know when to stop. like always, he gave both the twins a candy each, ruffling with their head.

mash who has never seen rayne's children before, is fascinated by the fact that there are two other little raynes. one the exact copy, the other immediately reminding him of you. he doesn't know whether to continue feeling fascinated or to feel fear since there is a mini rayne in town now. what if mini rayne is as powerful as his dad?

lance who had no reaction to them at all. he already saw them, already met them, and already knew them long ago. in fact, the older twin quite likes lance. he sees lance as an icy and cool idol to admire.

dot who keeps the kids if they want tips on how to get a girlfriend and only the younger ames listens, for the elder one immediately finds dot annoying. the younger one is just curious on what the meaning of 'girlfriend' is, before lemon pushes dot away and apologised to the younger ames.

lemon who tells the twins not to mind dot, for he still hasn't find a girlfriend after years of being single. she tells them not to worry as they are still young and instead, gives them the cream puffs she has made for mash which ended up being way too much.

and rayne, who sighs and shakes his head at the growing trouble that he could smell from afar. seeing the piles of paper stacked on his table, he has no choice but to ask the help of the mashle friends to look after his kids. he could trust finn, but he doesn't trust the others. so he purposely gave the task to finn, but everyone else took it as an invitation to babysit two little raynes.

rayne will make sure to complain to his wife when she comes back home.

#⋆ ❨ writing ❩ ֢֢֢ ۟#rayne ames #rayne x reader #rayne x y/n #rayne x you #mashle #mashle x reader #mashle imagines #mashle headcanons #mashle fluff

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aangarchy · 7 months

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Alright. I've rewatched the trailer like 20 times by now and i've been processing it.

First things first: anyone that's gonna talk shit about Gordon Cormier is gonna have to go through me first. I've only had Gordon!Aang for a day and a half and if anything happens to him i'll kill everyone here and then myself got it?

Just look at him! This is the exact big eared cute little kid i wanted them to cast for Aang. He looks adorable and honestly his outfit is growing on me.

The glowing arrow looked cool as hell. I like that the light spread through his tattoo almost like veins. I'm still curious on how the full avatar state is gonna look, how they're gonna get the glowing eye effect. Please don't let it look goofy.

Y'know what does look goofy?

Is it better than the m night shyamalan appa? I guess. Does that mean it looks good? Well.... at least momo sort of looks cute instead of some folklore nightmare like in shyamalan's version. But also you can tell in this shot in particular that it's very green screen-y

Then we go over to the bending, the limited shots we have of it. Mainly firebending was shown (a little airbending too but kinda hard to get a stillframe for that one)

Idk how to feel about it. In screenshots it looks alright but the shots while they were moving looked a bit off, especially the one where zuko's kicking. We only got very limited shots and that's intentional. I feel like the bigger cgi fails are gonna show up once we get the full show. If the bending looked good all the time i feel like they'd be showing it off by now.

What i don't like, is how apparently they're gonna SHOW Zuko getting burned. Like sure in atla they didn't bc kids show and Nickelodeon wouldn't allow it, and netflix can take darker turns if they so please. But i personally always felt that scene made so much impact because we didn't see it. Iroh is telling it from his memory and he didn't look when it happened, so we don't see it either. It's like a courtesy the show extends to both Zuko and the audience. We just hear the harrowing scream, and that's enough to know how devastating it is. I don't need a dramatic overlook so we can see the whole thing in detail, netflix.

Another thing is the hair in some scenes.

Daniel dae kim looked better in that promo photo, bc here you can just see how the bulky goatie was glued on. And then Sokka's hair..... where's the ponytail? It's laying completely flat against his head... why? Is it bc that's Ian's hair and they didn't know what to do with it? Literally get a comb and tease that bitch. This is like the complete opposite of Jackson Rathbone's hair in the shyamalan version, and somehow that full maybelline ponytail makes more sense than this sad excuse of a tail. Either way at least Suki looked dope.

Another thing i found weird about the trailer is the narration. I think it's either Iroh's voice or maybe Gyatso's? (I haven't heard Iroh's actor talk yet so idk, but it felt like it was being said TO either Aang or Zuko) but the lines they gave him... it felt like some weird mumbo jumbo tbh. Something something about the past and present being the same and it's up to us to know the difference and be the difference? It's saying everything and nothing at the same time and it felt kind of out of place. They're probably saving the iconic opening narration done by Katara for the full trailer (i hope???) but still they could have just gone with music, or maybe just a few iconic existing lines?

The music? Fire. Nothing needs to be added there. Was i kind of hoping for a different soundtrack? Maybe a bit. But am i mad? Not at all. They clearly took the nostalgia route with the more epic version of the avatar theme, and i can only respect them for that.

So far, very mixed reviews for me. I'm morbidly curious and very nosy by nature though, so i'm absolutely watching.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #avatar #atla netflix #netflix atla #atla live action #netflix

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scrivenger-grimgar · 2 months

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Every time I read Yiling Wei sect AUs and they start describing what the sect members and leader wears its like, (direct quote from The Yiling Wei Sect and the Black Robed Lan by IvoryDragon48)

"[Wei Wuxian's hair] was pulled up into a high ponytail by a red ribbon with a gold and silver headpiece ornamenting and helping to direct the flow of his hair. The robes he wore were expensive looking with black being the dominant color and reds as the accents. The inner robe was a red so dark it looked like blood and the outer robe had simple yet elegant designs."

--And like, I get the urge to make them really cool looking and with themes or designs matching the other sects but like??? there's massive wasted potential here!!!

First, the hair. that's all well and good, but there is no way in hell that the Yiling Wei folks (Wen Remnants and others reviled/ostracized by society at large) are going to buy a gold guan OR a silver guan. why the hell would they bother spending precious resources on trying to impress people who already don't like them for something they literally have no control over.

But Wei Wuxian would know that he has to play the game now that he has people to protect, and going to a Con as a Sect Leader and not doing what all the other sect leaders are doing (wearing guan to say "I'M BETTER THAN YOU!!") is essentially outright stating that he holds no respect for any of them except in a way that could get him and his people killed. so instead, he goes "fuck it" and makes a guan out of something incredibly ordinary, like iron or wood, so now if anyone brings it up he can say "Oh, well, I like feeding my kids." or "Actually, I made this myself, all the better for carving protective arrays into!"

--And that's it. Wei Wuxian is a street kid he absolutely knows that rich people don't like to think about poor people and that they prefer to ignore them or hurt them. except you cant just attack someone who's being perfectly reasonably polite in public, especially when you just pointed out that he's 'poor'. Wei Wuxian's strategy is make them so fucking uncomfortable that they leave us alone.

(This would of course be after several years of no contact and no fighting so things have cooled off a bit)

Next, robes. No expensive robes. Let them be very well modified normal robes that have subtle stains and colour bleaching from sunlight and washing. The (shown, non-array-work) embroidery is at best amateur level, and Wei Wuxian will proudly show it off, loudly saying "a-Ning started a while back to help with his fine motor skills, and he's really come such a long way!!" and that "Oh, Xuanyu started practicing only recently but he's already so good at it!"

The Yiling Wei are the exact opposite of Lanling Jin. Wealth is to be used to benefit everyone and everyone is to be loved and appreciated for their work. The refusal to spend money of frivolous things is strong, especially when its something you could make yourself.

Self Ornamentation would not be jade or gold or silver or silks. It would be some nice wood, these feathers from the bird that likes me, hey look at this cool rock I found I'm gonna polish it like a gemstone, I dug these awesome bones out of my grandmama's garden you think I can do anything with 'em?

Yiling Wei folks are death druids.

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enderwoah · 1 year

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fresh new watcher/listener headcanon: they do better when the opposite sense is completely taken out of the picture

like u give a watcher noise-cancelling headphones and suddenly they gain a +14 to perception, they see Every Detail and can see up to like a billion miles away from where they're standing, everything that makes up everything down to the molecule if they squint, in a fight they're so good at tracking how their opponent swings and makes the smallest, most minute of eye movements that it basically looks like they're predicting their opponent's movements just from analysing what they're already doing down to an insane degree. all you gotta do to make a listener unable to hear you is, well, not talk. that aint gonna work here. you're communicating through body language and overly-expressive looks? the watchers read it like its (very literally) its own language. reading lips is a breeze. passing notes in the back of the class ain't gonna work here.

on the other hand, give a listener a blindfold and they become acutely aware of the Exact BPM of Everyone Within A Billion Mile Radius. watchers, when they are not using their ability to literally see everything everywhere all at once, can be hidden from. you plant yourself behind a big enough tree and you're damn near invisible. hiding from a listener in this state is impossible. both literally and figuratively- give a listener a blindfold and make 'em interrogate someone, they're able to hear every vocal inflection, every hesitation, every cutoff, and will probably instantly know whether youre lying or not. their fighting style becomes completely reactive- with a fast enough reaction time (and lets be real theyre mildly immortal pseudo-gods, their reaction time is fast enough) they can hear the sound of an arrow cutting through the air and dodge it without even looking. they can catch blades on their own weapons and are the master of side-stepping out of the way when someone tries to stab them from behind like the cool kids they are

i feel like if you pitted them in a fight against each other, they'd be insufferable to one another but absolutely enthralling to watch from the outside. i'd like to think that watchers are very formal, since they have that whole lawful evil type nonsense going on, so the way they fight is very by-the-books, won't break rules, fights like they're being scored type beat. on the other hand, listeners are, again, purely reactive. they are impulse-driven chaos mongerers, and thus they fight dirty. below the belt? low-hanging fruit? sounds good to them. they'd go for an easy shot in the Nether region, if you know what i mean (jimmy and grian are exceptions; they purposely act the opposite of what they're meant to because they're sort of just Like That tbh)

but yeah, they'd be SO annoying to one another. the watcher keeps having to parry the listener's bs blows (which annoys the listener to no end because the POINT of those shots is that you DON'T SEE THEM COMING!!), keeps trying to land hits but is evaded at the exact last second, probably on purpose just to make the watcher mad. like, the listener hears the sword coming at them from a mile away but doesn't dodge until the last possible moment just so the watcher can see how small a distance they missed by. but then the listener tries to make shots of their own and they're blocked halfway through the swing. the listener barely even comes close to hitting them because the watcher is predicting the damn future or something stupid like that, making it impossible for them to do anything unless they move like an absolute maniac so the watcher can't predict them. similarly, the only way the watcher can land anything is by exclusively using fake-outs, which just feels wrong.

honestly, i'm imagining a spar between martyn and pearl like this. they're so silly i think they would lightheartedly get on each other's nerves in this way until the fight is abruptly ended by pearl kicking martyn in the nether because yes, she fights by the rules, and it was a spar with no rules so. hey. fair game.

#this is absolutely a crackfic im going to write by the way #that last paragraph? yeah #it's just funny #limited life #evo smp #watchers #listeners #listener martyn #watcher pearl #watcher grian #listener jimmy #martyn inthelittlewood #inthelittlewood #pearlescentmoon #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #grian #trafficblr

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spinnysocks · 3 months

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TLG Outlanders Jumanji AU that i have suddenly become obsessed with :) buckle up

i'm mainly basing this off of the 2017 movie, with elements of the 2019 one too

wema, tunu, dogo and kijana are playing when they find a hidden cave, they go in and they find lots of weird paintings on the wall and the floor. ever the inquisitive one, dogo steps into a circle in the middle and they all get sucked into... Jumanji?? or maybe in the TLG universe it's called Mchezo

the adults look for them. the leaders (plus kenge and sumu) and the idiots (plus mwoga, nne, tano and neema) go in two groups to search since the kids were missing for a while. the leaders find the hidden cave first as sumu noticed it in his small size. they get sucked in, and eventually the idiots find it after them

they turn into human versions upon entering the world. yeah they're pretty freaked out lmao

the premise is that they go through trials to "prove" themselves, at the risk of their 3 lives, to get to the final task of saving the kiddos. i'm thinking each of them get a task focused on their skills but all of them are at the will of it, aka any of them could lose a life in any trial

i think the Strengths & Weaknesses bit would be funny. kiburi has no weaknesses, he says smth like "I'm too good to be weak 😏" and then 'Pride' pops up hfgdhdh. tamka's weakness would be cake because i think it'd be funny. nduli's is picking up cool rocks. i would say goigoi's would be sleeping but he'd lose all 3 in an instant. the list goes on

reirei is mad because she gets the boring map-reader job lol, despite that she saves everyone's asses so

i imagine sumu is like Milo, he gives them the information in a really deadpan tone lmao. it's like "... Oh no..." "Spit it out, will you?!" "... Mandrills. We should go" and he just continues spilling knowledge while they're running for their lives lmao

you know how in the second movie Bethany/Milo is a horse? yeah nne and tano are straight up just themselves- they're hyenas but realistic, like they didn't change 💀 they're just there doing hyena laughs and absolutely savaging people in the fights

the ostrich scene from the second movie would be funny. maybe the hyenas are the drivers 👀 NONE of them trust their lives with janja, chungu or cheezi but somefuckinghow.. they don't die

in a trial where the leaders are really trapped, guess who sneaks in and saves them? Ushari!!! that was actually all of their reactions as soon as he spoke and they knew it was him. shupavu hugs him on impulse and then gets awkward about it lol, they're happy to see him

ushari explains how he didn't actually die when scar was destroyed but he escaped the volcano and happened across the hidden cave. he's been trapped ever since and obviously presumed dead. he's been stuck with 1 life because he needed the others to complete the rest of the trials :(

there's a dance fight where kiburi has to defeat the guards without being all guns blazing about it. literally the same as the scene with Martha. it's so funny at first bc he doesn't know what the fuck to do - i hc him as demi, he can't flirt with someone he doesn't know😭 - but when a song (prolly rap?) starts playing he beats their asses easy

little did they know the exact same thing was happening on the opposite side of the building, just with the idiots. tamka, nduli and neema also get their cool moment of beating people up, dance fight style! it's mainly tamka because he actually DOES have a strength in acting :)

the leaders and the idiots enter the building at the same time and it's an "Oh Shit!" spiderman pointing meme moment lmao. from this point on they do the trials together

the vultures fly the helicopters. you can imagine how well that goes. it's just like in the movie where something immediately breaks 😭 i think it'd be cool if kenge was the one to fix the helicopter, giving him a hero moment! imagine it

"Kenge, you did it! :D"

"Guess I did"

"Um... Oops"

"What Janja?"

"I dropped the jewel 😶"

"YOU WHAT?!?!"

janja loses a life in that scene from the rhinos 😭 do i wanna traumatise mzingo that much? idk. i just feel like that is such a janja thing to happen. fridge's character is janja-coded lmfao

"YOU PUSHED ME OUT THE HELICOPTER! >:("

that scene where fridge pushes spencer off a cliff? yeah that obviously happens. i'm thinking reirei and janja squabbling. would be funny if janja pushes reirei off impulsively and he just stands there, in shock, waiting to get yelled at when she respawns 😭

there's one of those Step On The Right Pieces trials. kiburi is being all cocky, steps on the wrong one and loses a life- bro gets absolutely humbled lmao. i think the skinks would be good at that trial for some reason

some random trial ideas: a "sleeping lions" type trial for goigoi. a "follow (copy) the leader" trial for mzingo. a food temptation one for the idiots??

jasiri definitely has a trial where she helps someone or shows that the "bad guy" NPCs can be good or somethin. that's probably the last trial before the finale

at the last trial they all work together to save the kiddos! it's really wholesome at the end because they saved the kids, they actually achieved something, they worked together, AND they got ushari back! :)

bonus:

based on the second movie, i was considering a different version of this au where janja purposefully enters the game to prove himself and it's more of a lesson of how it's not just about his strength, but the strength of all of them

janja just thinks he ain't good enough, especially not being leader of his clan anymore, but it's through working together when the others come after him that he realises that ain't true. just an extra thought i had :)

might make a follow up post because i came up with this in an afternoon just for fun 😭

#the lion guard #tlg #tlg outlanders #tlg au #jumanji au #been too long since i made a long tlg post <3 #hello hello i am back

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blood-orange-juice · 8 months

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About Childe and his weird gender again, expanding on this post.

I think it has a lot to do with how gender is constructed. Male gender has very clear-cut prescriptions, mostly it's everything that is considered "good" or "human" in current culture. The expectations it places on a person may not be realistic or achievable but they are very clear. Great importance is also placed on separating itself from Everything Female. Things That Are Too Much. Things that break the current culture meaning-making procedures.

Women, while having quite a few prescriptions of their own, also deal with whatever fell through the cracks. Someone needs to ensure the world still functions and reality is never completely covered by whatever official model of the world we currently have.

So women deal with the things men have the luxury not to notice. Mostly bodily and psychological aspects and societal injustice that are not supposed to exist in the ideal picture of society men have imagined. (to be fair, it happens to anyone oppressed and othered. the task of not letting the oppressors meet with reality is delegated to them. I'm just talking about women specifically in this post. but there's a reason oppressed minorities always have ties to supernatural in folklore)

In a way, feminine women are very scary. Walking semiotic horrors.

And I explain all this to say that Childe can be perceived as feminine in two ways.

First, with his disregard for all and any societal norms he just doesn't follow the normal gender prescriptions. He plays a superhero/knight role because it's shiny and it reminds him of the stories he loved as a kid. He doesn't suppress his love for his family because it brings him joy. He looks pretty because looks are a weapon too. He does all these things that would be either stereotypically masculine or painfully unmasculine for anyone else who cares about what society thinks, but he doesn't really see any difference between them. He truly, genuinely doesn't care what others think.

Second, he's also painfully aware of the dark and insane parts of the universe everyone else has the luxury to ignore. He also knows no one cares so he dances around the things a normal guy would never have to deal with (it's such a stereotypical female experience. sometimes I wonder if that's why women rarely like Lovecraft. it's not scary or exciting to them, it's just Tuesday).

But that's just our perception, a trick of light. These are not necessarily gendered.

He also gives an impression of someone extremely vulnerable, yes, but I don't think he handles his vulnerability in a feminine way. He just doesn't hide it and we are used to labeling everything vulnerable as feminine.

He also doesn't really do anything feminine-labeled in a characteristic female way. He isn't really in contact with his emotions (despite having a lot of them), him caring about people takes the form of "protector and provider". his cooking... have you seen his cooking? He doesn't look for support and doesn't try to build things that last. He doesn't accept his vulnerability. If anything, he's trying to pretend he has no vulnerabilities and maybe no psyche at all. He's self-sacrificing in a very male way too. Because he was there and because he could and because it's a cool thing to do.

So he's just that. Himself. Someone outside of gender.

(or rather his gender is knightcore)

If we perceive him as feminine it says more about how our culture perceives gender than about who Childe is.

Also, quoting my previous post, it's a part of him being full of contradictions. For every thing that he does he also does the exact opposite, and this holds for gender too.

Yes he lives the male power fantasy. He also does it in an incredibly feminine way. I think this was Hoyo's original intention and then it blossomed into this human disaster we see.

And to end up on a joke, surely you all have seen that leaked art that is theorised to be Skirk but could have also been an early design of Childe before Hoyo decided to make him a guy.

#any gender is a wound #men are wounded by rules that are too strict #women by the violent lack of sense in the world #some of us by both of those #childe #tartaglia #genshin impact #I also think that's why nb folks are sometimes seen as flavours of being female #because male gender is so restrictive #so everything that doesn't fit into it is perceived as female by the broad public

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digitalgate02 · 3 months

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(Rough) Fact Checking on Rui & Ukkomon's statements in 02TB

Tbh I'm kinda concerned about people taking Rui's statements for granted and not realizing the movie is unclear what is legit and whatnot.

This is not Kizuna-like levels of screwed up, but this is still bugging me as i've been discussing about this movie with friends who managed to watch it before me, and once i watched it by myself i completely understood their thoughts and theories regarding the movie and the Rui & Ukkomon lore.

We still got no actual news of digital releases or EN subs (tho i believe fansubs might appear once the JP Blu-Ray/DVD is released in May) or any other country digital release (or Blu-Ray/DVD ones) so i can’t completely make a detailed lore busting post about Rui’s statements and what we know or were presented in the original Adventure’99, 02 and their extra materials like Drama CD and movies.

But i do remember tiny bits of the movie… And stuff said in the pre-release stream.

I’ll do my best here.

[WARNING FOR SPOILERS AHEAD]

The movie staff released a timeline for this movie, which indicates Rui met Ukkomon in February 29 1996 → I don’t think this is a contradiction, because if the Korean interview with SekiP is reliable (i mean, we can’t check what she said in JP, and the telephone game from JP to KR and to EN means something might have been lost in the process!), she said they changed a bit of the lore for this movie. Btw, the OG lore of Digimon Partnership count starts in 1995 and then it doubles year by year is still present in the movie, as there’s a scene where the current number of partnerships in the year of 2012, but the number stated is not exact since the movie takes place in February only. So of course the count wouldn’t be the full year number, which is 131,072 partnerships in total.

Rui and Ukkomon form a bond, and Ukkomon grants Rui the wish of having many friends, which he tells the 02 group that partnerships with digimon were the result of this wish → This is completely uncertain, and it is also doubted by the 02 kids in the movie. In Adv’99 and 02 we learn that there’s multiple sources for becoming a Chosen Child: Homeostasis (Adv Eight, possibly their predecessors); Holy Beasts (Daisuke, Miyako & Iori); unknown sources (Menoa, Meiko, Ken, Wallace, Worldwide Chosen, Dark Seed Children perhaps?)

Rui claims he’s the first person who was partnered with a digimon → Well, this is not wrong! Now, if he were claiming to be the first to have met or interacted with a digimon… He would’ve been wrong: The first human to get in touch with the Digital World and the digimon were actually two – Oikawa Yukio and Hida Hiroki (yes, Iori’s late dad), in the 1980s. Despite that, they never had digivices at all. Then in 1995 we possibly had a double digimon encounter happening: Wallace meeting Gummymon and Chocomon briefly ¹, and the Yagami siblings meeting a Koromon. This could mean Rui and Ukkomon were actually the fourth digimon encounter in the timeline. But what is correct is that he became Ukkomon’s partner first because he got the very first digivice in the world. Taichi and Hikari weren’t partnered with that same Koromon ², but they got their own partner digimon + digivices in 1999. And Wallace probably became Terriermon’s partner years after, possibly in 1996 and after Chocomon’s disappearance ³, or post-1996.

Rui claims Ukkomon is a special digimon because he can grant wishes → Okay, but i definitely remember the 02 Kids going like “sounds cool bro but we doubt it” when he said that. And the movie itself quite shows the opposite later: Ukkomon did not cure Rui’s father, and he was possibly manipulating everyone else like puppets (besides Rui’s parents i meant) – so what kind of digimon who can grant wishes is this?! He has no magical god-like powers at all! And his null lore (Bandai’s) profile points out that part of granting wishes are just rumors. But you know what said profile mentions too? That Ukkomon is able to hijack the opponents’ minds. It’s his species’ special move – Liar Dream – besides spinning like a beyblade to attack (Whirlpool Spin).

Rui claims he killed Ukkomon a long time ago → Also not totally true. Rui tried killing Ukkomon, but he couldn’t commit to it. He tried to destroy the digivice, which resulted in his injury in the right eye. Ukkomon did not… “die” apparently. Yes, he was melting, but one detail you might not know is that when a digimon dies, everything from their body, or their weapon is also erased too. Check Adv’99 death for Pumpkinmon and Gotsumon. The eye Ukkomon slapped into Rui’s face was still there after his “death” so this was the biggest hint for the audience. It was also implied in the Audio Drama #3 (released in the Japanese theaters, and soon in the BD/DVD deluxe box as bonus with the other two theater ones) – But it’s okay, he possibly never had a contact with another digimon or even a Chosen Child before meeting Daisuke & co, so we can’t blame him for believing he had killed Ukkomon.

In a flashback, Ukkomon tells Rui that he’s connected to something bigger → This might be the only legitimate truth he had told Rui, besides that Rui was the first person partnered with a digimon. Somehow, Ukkomon is connected to some god-tier entity because once BigUkkomon is destroyed, the digivices are not needed anymore. This part might be completely confusing for everyone else, but it’s not confirming Rui’s claims that the digimon partnerships were caused by Ukkomon, and yes the part of Ukkomon’s claims to be related to some higher up god-like entity.

The notes within the text:

To my biggest surprise… Wallace never mentions when his mother found the egg. But he definitely mentions when Chocomon disappears – 7 years before, which means 1995. I’ve seen many people think this movie goes against the canon in different ways… But now i’ve reached the conclusion that what Wallace meant is that he met Gummymon and Chocomon in the same year Chocomon disappeared in the flower field. Plus, Wallace is shown in those flashbacks as a 4 years old kid (stated in the Memorial Chronicle) and we know via a CD bonus card that Wallace’s age is 11 years old in 2002 (same as Daisuke, Takeru, Hikari and Ken) – so i guess if he had gotten the egg before 1995 he would’ve been too young to remember it (unless you opt for 1994, but i think this wouldn’t be possible…)

The Koromon who met Taichi and Hikari is implied to not be the same who was partnered with Taichi 4 years later in Adventure'99: the TV series Agumon knew Taichi’s name because of the data inserted on his egg by the Agents, which were also manufacturing the Crests and Digivices, according to Homeostasis’ analysis on the children from the Greymon vs Parrotmon fight.

Since Chocomon went missing, i suppose Wallace became partnered with Gummymon only, but if we go with Adv’99 and 02, the Chosen Children can evolve non-partnered digimon as well: Leomon mentions he only managed to evolve into SaberLeomon because of the Chosen Children’s digivices being used on him previously in the series, and in 02 we witnessed the Digimon Kaiser using his digivice to dark evolve Agumon into both SkullGreymon and MetalGreymon virus (the latter only when he created the Evil Spiral, of course).

#digimon adventure 02 the beginning #digimon adventure 02 #02tb spoilers

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maitaiwiththecorpses · 11 months

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Things That People With Kiddos Should Know As Someone With Kiddos

This is by no means an extensive list of things parents/guardians/caretakers should know and take into account when raising and taking care of kids, nor is this telling you how to run a household or parent, however, from my experience, these things can make your life SO MUCH EASIER and make the relationship with your kiddos and you much smoother. I'm mostly going to be focusing on more adolescent-specific topics, but a lot of this advice can be applied to kids of all ages. Some of these things that I mention might work perfectly for you and your kiddos, and some of them might not. Some of them you might have to practice working on or modify them to fit your situation. Not everything on here is golden for everyone, and not everything on here is trash either. What works for one situation might not work for another.

With that being said, let's get to it.

Take your kids clothes shopping in person as much as possible. Make them try everything that they pick on. Kid's measurements are weird and are going to be changing drastically throughout their lives. Find the clothes they like and fit into in person and buy them online for cheaper (or in person. Whatever floats your boat)

Do not waste money on surprises unless you know FOR A FACT that they're going to like it! What does for a fact mean? Well, they've either explicitly stated that they want the item, or dropped some obvious as hell hints! Do not go guessing and buying based on what you think they'll like, or what you like. That's setting you, and your kid up for failure.

Be interested in things they're interested in. Your kid likes Taylor Swift? Cool! Your reaction should be "awesome, you wanna listen to the Era's Tour setlist in the car?" or, "what's your favorite album, let's listen to it together!"

Similarly, if your kiddo creates (art, music, poetry, stories, crafts, woodwork, videos, coding, etc,.) BE INTERESTED IN THAT. Consume their work! Show interest in it! Ask to read their writing, ask to see their art, ask to listen to their compositions. They might not say yes, but make it clear that you want to, and that's something that excites you. This will bring your kiddo joy.

DO NOT. AND I REPEAT. DO NOT. BELITTLE THEIR INTERESTS. Remember: You were once a kid with wacky interests, too. Kids are always searching for validation, whether they exhibit it or not. And even if they aren't? It's just a dick move to make fun of them for something they like.

buy pencils, pens, and notebooks in bulk. You'll need them.

Oh, and sticky notes.

If your kiddo comes to you for help of any kind, academic or otherwise, you damn well help them. "I need help studying for my math test tomorrow," ok, whaddya struggling with? How can I help? Do you just need a body double here, or should I do some problems with you?

give them notes. In their lunches, on their desks, in presents, on the fridge- hell, stick it on their doors! It doesn't have to be anything long- just a simple "morning!" or, "have a great day!" works, too.

Tell them you love them and that you're proud of them. Regularly. I know there are some people who think that makes their kids soft but I assure you, you're doing the exact opposite. By building your kids up, and regularly telling them that you love them and are proud of them, they know that they are valued and worthy and loved. This will set them up for success later in life and make them emotionally intelligent and flexible. Also, kids don't hear it enough these days.

They're going to see some scary shit. You can't avoid it. This past year I had to report three attempted suicides and many more cases of self-harm that came from other peers and people I was very close to. I initially was not processing the fact that someone so close to me was hurting themselves or trying to kill themselves, and the reporting process (sometimes even involving police) was extremely traumatizing. When I finally did cry, it came days later, and even today someone might say the name of one of these people and I will immediately shut down and change my whole demeanor. And I know our kiddos are experiencing these things, so please, be there for your kids and always tell them that telling adults when someone they know is hurting themselves or trying to end their life is important and could save their friends and loved ones.

Be prepared for your kids to have some kind of mental illness or learning disability. Do not try and gaslight them by saying that it's "all in their heads" (no shit?) or that they're "making things up." take everything seriously. "Mom, I think I have adhd," alright, let's see a doctor and do some research. "Tia, I'm so tired all the time and I just want to disappear," darling, that's not healthy, that's a sign of depression- you're important and loved, how about we set up a session with a therapist so you can talk to someone about these feelings who can help you better than I can?

Always be prepared to help your kiddos and reach out to licensed professionals who can help them.

carry snacks with you everywhere. And not that healthy shit, either. Within your kid's eating restrictions, get something like a chocolate chip granola bar or a Reese's cup and stick it in your going-out bag. It will save your life when hungry time comes around.

Don't be surprised if your kids are queer in some shape or form. Support them, love them unconditionally, make sexuality puns as needed ("if you're not dating anyone rn, does that mean you're on stand-bi?") and do your own research in regard to sexuality and gender.

help them get ready for school dances and stuff. Makeup, hair, clothes, pickup lines, the whole ordeal. I promise you they're going to love you for it.

Make the puberty/sex talk a casual yet thorough thing. You want to cover all the information, but you don't want to make it so uptight that they never want to talk about it again or ask any questions. Pull up diagrams, do the whole shebang, but make it clear that they don't have to memorize everything in that very moment. Questions are ok, even after the fact.

Take them to the library.

For all your menstruating kiddos out there, stock up on pads and tampons and anything else they use every month/every other month depending on how much they use. Don't make it seem like a hassle, don't make difficult, just do it without question. If they tell you they like a certain brand or type/size/etc, adhere to that and respect it. Menstruating is uncomfortable as is, don't make it worse by not listening to your kid's needs.

Give them this thing I like to call Cuddle Days (or sensory overload days, or Overstimulated, Get Me Outta Here days). These are the kinda days that can show up on weekends after a long week and basically it's a ton of movies, pillow forts, blankets, and comfort food. And lots of cuddles, of course.

Don't guilt trip them for existing having needs. Your kids are going to need a lot and do a lot and they are grateful, but it just feels weird to express that feeling of gratitude as a teenager.

And, most importantly, let them be kids. Let them have pillow fights, and roll on the grass. Hang fairy lights up and tell them stories. Giggle about their crushes with them, and paint your nails together. Play Mario Cart and eat takeout together. Kids are so complex and amazing and it would be a shame if we took away the part about being kids in the process of them growing up, because one day they're not gonna be our babies anymore.

#parenting #parents #family #kids #teenagers #parenting tips #parenting advice

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starsfic · 10 months

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in the au where Wukong is a statue and Xiaotian is gifted him, what happens next? I like to think that he was able to sense bits and pieces of what was going on but had no concept of time. So when he wakes up the only familiar thing he knows is the sound of Xiaotian’s voice

"Eat up."

Whenever Qi Xiaotian dreamed of meeting Sun Wukong, it was always dramatic and cool. Right now, however, it was the exact opposite.

The Monkey King, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, looked...

"Like he's been dragged through a hedge." Long Xiaojiao winced at the resulting elbow in her side from Tang. "What?! He does." Xiaotian had to agree with her.

Sandy had been weirdly insistent on kicking everyone out of his room. The last thing Xiaotian had seen was the blue giant carefully scooping up Wukong, dressed in that blue hanfu. The following hour had been tense, with Pigsy retreating to the kitchen before Sandy and Wukong had arrived. Guess that was where the noodles had come from.

Wukong didn't have leaves or stuff in his fur, but he looked exhausted. He was dressed in the spare outfit Tang kept in Xiaotian's closet with the sleeves rolled up. ("Sorry," he had said. "I just needed to get out of that thing.") He was hunched over the counter and just looked small.

"Thanks," his voice was raspy as he picked up the chopsticks. He eyed the noodles before setting them down. Pigsy made a noise and Wukong made a noise that sounded between a sigh and a chuckle. "I figured you guys might have questions."

Xiaotian winced at the resulting slam of a hand against the table, because of course, it was Tang who spoke up first. "We do!" Out of nowhere, a notebook was yanked out and the scholar began to ask. "How are you real? How did you get inside the statue? How long have you been inside the statue?! If you're real does that mean all the great figures are real?! How-" He barely dodged the spoon at his head.

Pigsy pulled his foot back and set a glass of water next to Wukong, who was leaning back. "I think he meant one at a time, Tang." the chef huffed.

"Yeah. Yeah, that would be nice." Wukong cleared his throat. "Well, uh...I just am? Yes, Erlang Shen is a bitch. And..." He glanced at Sandy. Xiaotian didn't know his dad's friend well, but the worried look on his face was new. "I really don't know the details of how I got in there. Someone who wanted to attack Heaven did it to get me ut oof the way. All I remember is, one minute, I'm preparing to go to Red Boy's birthday party, and the next I'm in the statue."

Red Boy... the son of the Demon Bull King? Before Xiaotian could think too hard about that, something else occurred to him. "Have you been awake? The entire time?"

Wukong shook his head. "No..." He paused. "I mean, kinda? I couldn't see anything."

Xiaojiao raised a brow. "But you could hear?"

"There's the kinda. It was like...you were asleep but could hear people faintly talking in the next room." A warm smile bloomed to life across his face and those golden eyes locked on Xiaotian. "I heard you kid, and you sound like a fun kid."

How were you supposed to respond to that?

"Thank you!"

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anime-simp-0 · 1 year

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what i think each MHA 1A student would do in a quirkless society

midoriya: nurse. oh my god i saw a fanart of nurse deku forever ago and it was fine asf. but anyways. i think he would still have the desire to help people and save them, but not wanna go running head first into buildings. so, he decides to use his head and hands instead. i could also see emt since it’s still a little dangerous for his adrenaline junkie ass without almost burning alive.

bakugo: i can’t explain why but quirkless AU bakugo to me is always a firefighter 🤷. i think he is a junkie when it comes to danger and saving people is just engrained in him so, even without a quirk, he would still wanna do something whether military or police service.

todoroki: i’m gonna say family business. but he runs it the exact opposite of his old man just to piss him off.

kirishima: public service of some kind. i’m stuck between police officer or a firefighter cuz i could see both. on one hand, i could see him running head fire into fires with bakugo being each others partners and saving each other left and right since he’s the only one that can put up with him. but i can also see him as the police officer of an area. like the one that everyone loves and treats with respect. so much so that even the gangsters and drug dealers are like “hey sir, how’s your day been” because kiri wasn’t disrespect even when arresting them.

denki: i'm gonna say electronical engineer. he might act stupid but he managed to pass the UA written exam just like the other members of UA so clearly there is a brain up there. Having said that, electronics were something he always thought were cool and he started messing around with them as a kid and it stuck.

sero: i feel like he would LEGALLY sell marijuana. like he would have a license to and would sell edible snacks as well as marijuana straight. he just gives me hippie-ish "the world is less shitty when your high" vibes so he sells good quality weed so people get blissed.

iida: i think his family business would be something tech based instead of heroing. i still think they would make bank from it tho. and the family business would make him feel obligated to follow it.

aoyama: model. enough said.

uraraka: probably join the family construction company “temporarily” but then always come up with an excuse to why she needs to stay. “well, __ is gonna be on a 1 week vacation so, i’ll put in my notice after they’re back” “well, now it’s close to *insert holiday* so i better stay and help get the projects done faster” and on and on.

momo: design. whether fashion, interior design, architecture. something with design tho. she likes being able to create things from scratch. enjoys watching what she can turn things into.

jirou: musician. specifically vocalist and guitarist for a indie rock / alternative rock band.

ojiro: i feel like he would totally have a therapy office where you talk about your feelings while doing yoga 😂. his reason is it helps align your body and your mind.

tsu: i feel like she would be one of those people that study plants and creatures in their native habitats. but she would exclusively work with ponds, rivers and streams and has a deep love and interest/fascination with frogs.

mina: model. i think she would start as a model for a fitness brand and would gradually move over to being a diverse model as her career grows.

hagakure: kindergarden teacher for some reason. i can't explain why. it just seems right in my brain.

satou: baker. like come on.

tokoyami: musician. specifically guitarist for a rock / metal band. it just… fits.

koda: something to do with animals. whether that’s working at a zoo or traveling the world studying animals.

shouji: cop. he's really good at spacial awareness and protecting his partners. plus he has really fast reflexes.

mineta: he died <3

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margoshansons · 2 years

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So it's okay that Criston brutally murders someone because it's done in a rage, and it's ok for Vaemond to try to usurp his brother and Laenor's wishes because the Strong kids aren't related to Laenor by blood? Makes total sense, thanks. This is GRRM. Neither side is morally superior, we just enjoy the chaos because it's fiction. Trying to twist modern day morality onto it doesn't work.

Where did I say that any of those actions were okay? I didn't.

The difference is that the Team Black Stans don't seem to realize the hypocrisy of hating Criston ( a canonical man of color ) for killing a white man who taunted him about his stained honor albeit a bit unconsciously, but they hold up Daemon as a #Malewife and a feminist for MURDERING A BLACK MAN WHO WAS SPEAKING THE TRUTH.

If the Velaryons were white then we wouldn't be having this problem, but by placing those scenes in the same season we are meant to compare them. Daemon murdering Vaemond wasn't supposed to be a #Girlboss moment it was supposed to show exactly what you are describing which is that no one in this world is morally good.

But people are holding Daemon up as a paragon of virtue and feminism when he's the exact opposite. At least Team Green acknowledges that our faves commit atrocities.

And Vaemond was entirely within his rights to claim Driftmark. Rhaenyra's children are bastards, like that's the full truth and everyone knows it. Vaemond was within his rights to claim Driftmark as the last remaining man of VELARYON BLOOD.

It would be a different story if Rhaenys backed Baela's claim over Luke's but she didn't . And Vaemond didn't want to see a throne that has belonged to a historically black house be handed over to a white man's child. And Daemon murdered him for it.

And it's so funny you mention viewing this show through a modern moral lens because the fandom has been doing that since it started.

Alicent being sold as a child bride was dismissed as her "seducing her friend's father", Rhaenyra mothering nothing but illegitimate heirs should be dismissed because the claim to the throne is hers not Laenor's and the boys are essentially "adopted".

Driftmark isn't Rhaenyra's. It isn't Daemon's and it certainly isn't Luke's. It's the Velaryon seat. And for all the love Laenor gave them, those boys are not Velaryons.

So yeah, I'm a bit upset that the fandom is one again being racist by dismissing Daemon's unlawful execution and murder of a Black Man reclaiming his heritage as a Girlboss moment while disparaging Criston for losing his cool and murdering someone at a wedding who taunted him.

#anti daemon targaryen #anti hotd fandom

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 10 months

Note

I’m kinda glad you got that ask cause that is SUCH a good way of wording it. My views on the whole pro/anti have relaxed since I got older but never to the point of full on pro-shipping and I couldn’t explain why it just doesn’t sit right with me to fit myself into either category. It’s like anti-shipping is so “nothing can be negative or even morally ambiguous ever” but I’ve seen pro-shippers call people puritans and compare them to actual dangerous right wing conservatives for being uncomfortable with things that are very normal to be disgusted by (like incest and/or graphic porn of young children).

Like why does it have to be one or the other when none of these people are making any sense half the time. It’s such a chronically online argument too. I cannot be bothered anymore

Pro-Ship/Anti-Ship talk: you can see my stance here.

[I denounce the entire conversation to begin and I existing exactly why.]

Exactly like - if we really care about these topics then let's not boil them all down into one question and then fight - without discussing the topics.

Case in Point:

I know why I got this ask. It's very easy to guess - the only person I really write about is Hobie. It's very easy for me to make the connection between Hobie - age - proshipping - 'ew'.

And I think the Hobie conversation in particular, like more than other cases - is ridiculous! I can't scream it enough.

Arguing about Hobie's age is an endless argument.

Every time this argument comes up people on both sides point to the Art Book and like - "Look it says-"

It doesn't say shit.

Literally one the EXACT same page in the EXACT same paragraph they describe him as

'SLIGHTLY older' and 'MUCH older' than Miles. In the same breath. Even the book doesn't know. So if someone is genuinely out here arguing for either side and you believe that you are unquestionably right - I see it as waste of time.

At the end of the day the Hobie in my head is an adult. If the Hobie in your head acts like a teen and you think he's a teen, okay cool. That's how you characterize him. But if you think that YOUR Hobie is MY Hobie - nah. They're both still Hobie, but we're not seeing the character the same

AND THAT'S FINE.

Honestly I'm just happy we got him to begin with.

And because I wanna end it positive

[him and diane smiling at each other AHHHHH]

But like regardles of age- Isn't Hobie such a good role model?!

Like, Miles' dad insists that Spider-man should be a role model, and Hobie thinks the opposite - he's not and he shouldn't be. (I should write about how his violent self-endangering ways may lead to him feeling this way)

But even so, he's a great role model to everybody, without even trying. To Gwen, To Miles, To me, and all the people watching he got into punk. All the young black kids with natural hair. All the alt black people. I can go on and on.

Like, EVERYONE feels safe with Hobie. Because he cares about people - and because of that, he's a role model.

Spider-punk may not be a role model, but Hobie Brown is. To everyone.

#last I'll mention of this 💖

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sweetsweetjellybean · 2 years

Text

Summary: Steve finds his note from Max

AN: This was my first fic. So it's a bit rough.

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Steve is tired. Bone tired. Working at the emergency shelter with Robin has been filling his time and providing a necessary distraction from his worries. Hawkins is a mess. Seeing neighbors and friends suffering is starting to take its toll on him. Everyone has suffered a loss, whether it was a home, a business, or a loved one. No one will be immune this time. The gates are open, and the battle is coming. How many more will die is anyone's guess.

Robin is saying her goodbyes to Vickie as Steve sits in his car waiting to drive her home. He can't help the smile on his face at seeing his best friend falling in love. "Just please let this one thing work out," he mumbles.

His love life is comparable to the town hall at this point. Crumbling and on fire. Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic. He has been hanging around a lot of girls lately. Still, his declaration to Nancy had been a disaster. He poured his heart out to her, and she kissed Jonathan right in front of him. He had done the exact opposite of the advice he always gives to Henderson. He let her see him care. In the end, it didn't matter. He wants her happy; that's what's important. She is strong and never really needed him, to begin with. He had allowed hope to creep in after his conversation with Eddie, but Eddie had been wrong.

Steve knows he needs to let it go and focus on more important things, like his buddy Dustin who is still slightly limping. The kid is taking Munson's death hard. Steve is trying to give Dustin space and let the little guy come to him, but that approach doesn't seem to be working. Steve knows he shouldn't let it go on for much longer. He decides he will sit him down to talk tomorrow. Henderson is a great kid. He isn't ever afraid to be himself. Something that Steve struggled with when he was that age. He was more concerned about looking cool in front of everyone. He doesn't want all this to change Dustin, but how could it not? It's going to change them all.

As he drives, Robin rambles on a mile a minute about her conversation with Vickie. "Did she mention anything about boobies?" Steve interrupts, trying to get a rise out of his friend. "Ugh, Steve, you're the worst." Eyes rolling, she launches back into her story. Steve knows she loves him. He doesn't know what he would have done if he had lost her. Lost any of them. A pang of guilt shoots through him as he thinks, I'm glad it was Eddie and not Dustin. It's wrong to think like that, and he knows it. Eddie doesn't deserve that. A fight is coming, and if we don't win, all of us might end up lying with Munson in The Upside Down. With Max still in the hospital, holding on by a thread, he can't think about any more death.

"Earth to Steve? Hello? Dingus, are you still with me?"

Steve parks in front of Robin's house. He's still dropping her off and picking her up every day."Are you ever going to get your license?"

"Why would I do that? We both know you love the pleasure of my company. Without me, you'd have no social life at all. You would become an outcast and move into the woods, and kids would run away and cry when they saw you. I'm performing a public service by being your friend."

"Oh, that's why I drive you everywhere?"

"Yup! Why, what were you thinking?" Robin asks with a smile.

"I'll pick you up at the same time tomorrow."

"Great, go get some sleep. You're cranky." Robin says as she exits the car.

"I don't know why. It's not like Vecna's ass crack has opened up in the middle of town," Steve yells out the window after her.

"That doesn't mean we need to be in a bad mood. Go wash your hair or something, Harrington," Robin says as she disappears inside her house.

After dropping off Robin, Steve heads over to the hospital to look in on Max, as is his routine these days. Lucas is sitting on a chair next to her bed. His eyes are red-rimmed and tired, and he probably hasn't had a real meal in days. Steve walks over to Max's bed. She looks smaller and younger. Maybe it's because she isn't threatening him with a lawsuit. She still wears her neck brace, and her arms and legs are casted. He lightly brushes her fingers with his own.

"Any change?" he asks Lucas hopefully.

"Nothing," Lucas replies as he drops his head into his hands and starts rubbing his eyes.

"Are you alright, Sinclair? Maybe it's time to go home and rest a bit, yeah?"

"Ehh, that's okay. I want to be here when she wakes up."

"Where's your sister?" He doesn't like Lucas sitting here alone all day.

"She was here for most of the day, but she gets annoying, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Steve says with the corner of his mouth rising slightly. He loves watching Erica give them shit. It was pretty funny as long as it wasn't directed towards him. "Alright, man, call me if anything changes."

"Will do, Steve."

When Steve gets home, he can't wait to crash. He tries to avoid having a conversation with his parents. So he just hollers out a greeting on the way to his room. They are just so oblivious, so uninterested in what is going on around them. Even what was happening with their own son. It was just as well they didn't ask. He wouldn't have known how to explain it anyway. Alone in his room, Steve throws himself down onto his bed. He runs his hands through his hair as exhaustion sets in. He's starting to feel older than his years. After pulling his shirt over his head, he throws it on the floor with all his other dirty laundry. Shit, I'm gonna run out of clean clothes soon. One last thing to do before sleep. He gets up and starts gathering up all the clothes for the wash. He hears a crinkling sound when he picks up a pair of crumpled jeans that are half shoved under his bed. He pulls a brown envelope out of the back pocket.

Max's letter. He staggers back to sit down in a chair at his desk. He had forgotten all about it in the chaos. He smooths out the envelope and holds it flat in both hands. He knows her wishes. He isn't to open it unless she is gone. He wonders if anyone else has opened theirs. He sits staring at it for a while. He can feel the weight of the little girl's words impacting him even though he hasn't read them yet. Screw this! If Max has something to say to me, she can damn well do it while she's still here. He tears open the envelope and begins to read.

Dear Steve,

I wanted to thank you for always protecting me. I always feel safe when you're around. No one has ever made me feel safe like that before. You stayed with me and never let me down. So please don't let anyone tell you that you're not smart or not worth it because you are. And so brave. You're the bravest person I've ever met. You put yourself between us and literal monsters. The boys all look up to you because of it. You always take care of us without thinking of yourself. So it's probably not fair to ask you this, but please keep looking out for them. Especially Lucas. He's going to need you when I'm gone. He's going to blame himself, but it's not his fault. He was there for me. You were all there for me. I just couldn't see it. Please don't let them be sad for too long.

P.S. She's out there. You just have to find her.

Love your Max

XOXO

After carefully folding her letter and putting it in his wallet, he puts his shirt and jacket back on. He grabs his keys and heads out.

Rounding the corner into Max's hospital room, he sees Lucas asleep, practically falling out of the chair. Steve puts his hands on his hips in an exasperated pose and starts barking at Lucas. "What's wrong with you, Sinclair?"

"I told you I'm not leaving her."

Lucas does fall out of the chair now. He scrambles to stand up.

"Get your ass home. I don't want to see you back here until you have had something to eat and a good night's sleep. Are you hearing me?"

"I heard what you said, but you're no good to anyone like this. You're no good to her. You know what's coming. You want to help her? Go home. I'll stay."

"You're such an asshole," Lucas says angrily as tears escape his eyes. He tries to brush his way past, but Steve reaches out with one arm and pulls Lucas into his chest.

"She's going to be alright. I know it." Steve says quietly, trying to give the kid a little comfort. He releases Lucas, who looks at him and nods. A little too choked up to speak, Lucas leaves the room. Hopefully, he doesn't fall asleep riding his bike.

He walks over to Max's bed. He gently smooths some hair away from her face and leaves his hand resting on the top of her head. A gesture he always found comforting when he was small. He leans in a little closer to her.

"I'm here, Max. You're safe. I will stay with you, and I will keep them all safe, I promise you. Just get better, okay?"

He stays that way for a little longer, hoping she can feel the warmth of his hand and the truth of his promise. He sits down on what has to be the most uncomfortable chair in the world. Trying to get into a comfortable enough position to sleep, Steve lets out a long sigh.

"Always the goddamned babysitter," he says with a smile and closes his eyes.

#steve harrington fanfic #max mayfield #stranger things fanfic #steve harrington #stranger things

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