#everybody always leaves

[strhwaberries]

idk why people keep their distance with me, even people i consider as friends, do i come off as weird or arrogant or awkward or just plain boring and uninteresting? why am i so unlikeable? why can't i form meaningful bonds with others? i feel like i'm always nothing more than an afterthought, like everybody has someone else they consider more important than me :((

#even tho i try to do what i can to maintain relationships but i'm not good at talking #i'm always scared i'll be annoying so i don't send people messages #and ofc nobody's messaging me either #can you believe that the only text message i received on my phone during my 2 months break was work related #and even here it's the same #i feel like everybody's gonna leave #everybody always leaves #lu.txt

[1800batty]

Feeling v unlovable today

#had a dream where i was in a relationship #realized that ill never have that #a good relationship at least #everybody always leaves #because im unlovable

[exysexualmoron]

.

#i think the thing about my brain is that like #i forget things #sure #i remember every detail and line from every harry potter movie #but actual shit that happened? nope #and that makes it really hard to feel connected to people at all #or like #even like them? #and idk who gives a shit #i’ll just dissociate my life away and wait for everyone to eventually leave me #because they will #no matter what people say #everybody always leaves #personal #trigger warning #depression #trigger warning depression

[univcrsitas]

i just wish i was important to somebody.

i miss having somebody to talk to about everything.

#everybody always leaves #i dont have anybody #i really just want to die #im so tired of being here with nothing

[hamlet-not-hamnet]

some exr for the soul but make it aristocats

#my hc is that r is actually taller than e but bc hes always sitting in the corner and leaves after everybody else nobody knows #another hc is that its the ultimate sign of trust if e lets his hair down around you #also me doing rendering? who would have thought #les mis #enjoltaire #exr #les miserables #enjolras #grantaire #my art

[wikitpowers]

SORRY I HAVE TO FLEX ON THIS QOAAD MY SISTER FOUND IN A CHARITY SHOP TODAY FOR £2 WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK BY ALICE DUKE :’)))

(i’m so in love stop🥹)

#i’ve always wanted this edition #AND IT HAS SPRAYED EDGES #AND THE ARTWORK IS SO BEAUTIFUL #LEAVE ME ALONE #EVERYBODY SAY THANK U TO MY SISTER #WHAT AN MVP #honestly she’s such a legend #queen of air and darkness #the dark artifices #qoaad #tda #tsc

[themostefficientwaywithwater]

people who hate on nemona because she's "too yandere" and "doesn't take a no for an answer" make me wonder if they actually payed attention to her dialogues or only read those joke comics about her being obsessed with the player and always craving violence and said "yeah this is her personality now". or just hate women.

#''she's too yandere!'' you don't know what yandere means then #''she doesn't accept a no for an answer!'' she repeatedly accepts you refusing to battle her through the whole game #she just gets insistent when you say you don't passed the league test #(because she truly believed you were so strong you would pass easily) #and when you tell her you don't want to be rivals (she though you liked battling her and wanted a friend to share her passion with) #''she's so weird!'' my brother in arceus this is pokémon EVERYBODY is weird as fuck #''she only talks about battling!'' and arven almost always talk about food and kieran always talked about ogerpon in kitakami #but i've seen nobody complaining about these two #wonder why #and nemona talks about other thinks beside battling! #she has Lore (TM) too #she has health issues despite her trying to shrug them off #she lived in a very rigid upper-class family where she's implied to have felt repressed #her own family pays more attention to her sister because she's going to be the heir of their corporation leaving nemona neglected #she doesn't have friends because her passion to pokémon battles alineates her from her classmates #if she defeats you in your first battle she gets depressed and says sorry because she believes she scared you away from being her friend #she's such a complex character but her background is more subtle than with arven or penny (and locked behind the postgame) #it saddens me that she's flanderized by literally everyone (even gamefreak/tpc in sv's epilogue) #pokemon #ramblings

[rawliverandgoronspice]

regarding common tropes about ganon's writing in fics, I am kind of always taken aback a little anytime ganondorf uses degrading sexist terms in fics and such. Because to me, even his most evil interpretations would probably have no reason to have negative associations with women who have sex a lot, unless he picked it up from elsewhere (like there's some room for it to be interesting psychologically speaking if that's directly addressed, but it never is). I'm not sure why the gerudos would ever cultivate these kind of misogynistic ideas in their own culture, or why Ganondorf would spontaneously decide to form any essentialist ideas he may potentially develop on the basis of promiscuity, of all things. And, if he would pick that up from Hyrule... why would he, why this, and how does that map out with him remaining proudly gerudo in most iterations if he sees any non-married woman getting funky in a negative way?

it's kind of a very small thing, but it does kind of beckons a lot of questions regarding worldbuilding and psychology and it tends to take me out of fics a little, because it's always kind of assumed and never investigated

#thoughts #ganondorf #fics #meta #I realize it's often more about Conventions of Genre than anything else #especially in anything smut-adjacent #but it always leaves me scratching my chin a little #I guess I could buy it if the worldbuilding of the gerudos placed a HUGE emphasis on pairing up #(not my fave but that's just my bias and I can still see it) #but then it has no reason to take on sexist undertones it would be the same for everybody #as to sex work I could see why it could potentially be viewed negatively if certain logics of above worldbuilding applied #(I personally prefer them to have no bias against that especially in such a tight-knit community but that's a forking of worldbuilding) #(none of which is particularly more valid than the other) #BUT AGAIN there's no reason why he would hold it against women moreso than anybody else #the only thing I could sort of see is him pressing down on wounds he know would hurt hylians out of strategy #but even then I would like for this kind of default thing to be explored unearthed and recontextualized a bit more #just because ganondorf being raised by women exclusively is in my personal top three of most interesting things about him #in how it shaped him and didn't #again no biggie or anything #I was just thinking about that #I think using the “Adult” tag for this was a stretch #but better safe than sorry haha

[stvnhydes]

hyde getting jealous that his best friend was spending more time with “Rich Kid Buddy” instead of him is so ☹️ his insecurities coming out and him thinking that eric’s going to leave him behind (like everybody else has) because he doesn’t have as much to offer as buddy (physically)

#i’m in a sad hyde mood tonight #i can’t believe he was always waiting for everybody to leave him omg #my poor baby #eric u will pay #steven hyde #that 70s show #eric forman

[dallonwrites]

wrote 437 words and whilst i'm glad i have an outline for this chapter i forgot briefly about the beauty of discovery writer swag because none of what i wrote was planned and all stemmed from one description line like i got carried away but i had fun. i was free

#and i hit 18k everybody cheer #i had the silly goal of hitting 20k tonight but the stuff im writing now is like. based on words already there part of the word count #i think i have always. struggled with finding the right balance for my and that particular project #when it comes to the times that i outline something #so w this one i deliberately leaving space in it for things like this #i got stressed for a sec that there was stuff from the outline of this scene i hadnt got to but like i probably dont need them bc i #discovered a better angle! yay #i do think i want to try and completely discovery write another chapter soon though LOL like i have the backing #of knowing most of the story architecturally to do that now i think #(that understanding i only got from starting by completely discovery writing the opening. i just swing back and forth)

[mightymizora]

I’ve been thinking about this for a little while and I’ve decided on a new example I’m going to give when, inevitably, I end up back in crisis care and the pattern repeats.

My whole life it’s felt like I’m carrying a water balloon. And I’m trying to do all the things others around me are doing, and I just have this balloon. And every four years or so it just pops, and I I have to wait until I’m dry again to start again. And every time it happens somebody says hey, I know you’re soaked and you feel bad but at least you don’t have to carry that anymore, right?

And then I get given another.

And the older I’ve got, the harder it’s been to keep up with people, and when I finally think I’ve got it the balloon bursts again, and everything that I thought I was trickles out and evaporates on the ground. So I have to start again. And hope it won’t happen again.

But it always, always happens. No matter what fancy holster I make, or precautions I take not to break it it, eventually something jostles it and it just breaks again.

Everybody’s building things over a lifetime and I’m… just here.

#I’m so sick and tired #but you have to carry on #that’s it #you just have to accept that you’ll never be what everybody else is #the older you get the harder it is #knowing that you’re always at the starting line #and everybody who loves you will leave you there because they have to keep going

[fountainpenguin]

One very specific thing I find funny is that prior Hermitcraft Season 10, I'd drafted some worldbuilding for a Life series fanfic where there's a mail system based on phantoms (who are fast, and as a nod to Impulse's phantom sanctuary from Season 8 because I thought it was cute).

But the mail system was regularly disrupted by Etho because he was on Red life. He'd just torture and kill phantoms for their membranes because it's useful material, but mostly because he hated people checking up on him after he cut them off. He HATED mail.

So it's funny to see him play postman in Hermitcraft... Redeemed.

Also, here are some images of Impulse's phantom sanctuary because it's a fun / inspiring build to me:

He worked hard to catch those guys, did the job while they screamed at him, and redesigned the roof three times so they could see outside without burning in the sun. Not only that, but it's a decent size enclosure for a mob display (compared to Grian's magical menagerie, which is a pet shop so it's a different vibe).

The sanctuary is one of my main inspirations when I think about worldbuilding for mobs in 'fic, just because I think it's cute to have a big, pretty building for something so violent. It makes me laugh that Impulse tried to give the tour while being "hugged" and screamed at by the phantoms.

Looking forward to Scar's zoo in Season 10. I'm sure he'll build many lovely enclosures! <- Me, who is also a Planet Zoo watcher and loves seeing animals thrive in an environment designed for them :)

#impulseSV #EthosLab #Hermitcraft #hermitblr #I've been watching lots of dog grooming videos and that's the vibe Impulse gives me. He unveils a groomed phantom with a flourish #Everybody claps. They don't know why they're here. #I want a whole series about grooming phantoms / creepers / other dangerous mobs. Today we bathe a spider. Tomorrow who knows. #I was going to show snippets of the mail phantoms / roost buildings I wrote about but I checked my draft and uh #yeah all the scenes rn are pretty dark / violent / gross so I'll leave it in the 'fic and not share it here wheeze... #Cleo's mail phantom is named Soulbound because he runs away / doesn't eat / always hurts her <3 #NW worldbuilding #Neighborhood Watch #ridwriting #screenshots #mcyt

[feluka]

why did i end up with such selfish classmates

#few days ago everybody was sneezing and coughing in class. unmasked. and of course i got sick from them despite masking. #i came to class today and sat far away trying to avoid contact because i know i'm sick. #and they kept joking and teasing 'don't be afraid of us just embrace it we're all sick here anyway join the party haha' #and telling me to take off my mask #ignoring that 1- i'm masking because i don't want to pass it on to OTHERS #and 2- it's NOT funny or 'haha no big deal we're all sick!' #i have an immunocompromised mother that i'm caring for!! #and i can't afford to keep my distance from her because my stupid father and brother will never lift a finger to care for her and just leav #so i can't stay away from her but if i DON'T stay away i'll pass it on to her and she CAN'T take being sick right now! #it's just so frustrating and i hate that i'm always the 'unfriendly' and 'antisocial' classmate and that they already dislike me i believe #so i can't bring myself to blow up on them and i just. laugh and nod. okay. i love getting nowhere!!

[russellius]

.

#r #man that guy gives me the ick so much #you can tell he knows the effect of every word that leaves his mouth #and he is being so fucking calculated in all interviews #implying that its only his goal to make the car better and improve it #and that george is just driving around in circles with a safe setup #knowing perfectly well how his idiotic fanbase behaves #... i cannot wait for him to leave this team with all his bullshit and his cult #yeah everybody always praises george's feedback its literally something thats been present in his junior years as well #he was working in the merc sim as an 18 year old #even this idiot included the 'he is very technical' backhanded compliment in his shit bahrain answer #and you want to tell me the team doesnt want to utilize that #and doesnt trust george's feedback #yeah... alright.... fuck off :D #there is always an excuse always a shite narrative to discredit george's drives and im fucking tired of it all

[bybdolan]

wish i could be angry without feeling bad

#Obviously it's important to not be too clouded by emotions when communicating that you are upset #As in. Not lashing out #But idk maaan i don't wanna feel like i always have to measure every single word i say to be as little angry as possible #Yesterday during a feedback round for writing where everybody was supposed to only say one positive thing they liked #A friend absolutely tore into my writing saying that the narrative voice was unbearable and pretentious #And it was like. Bestie this is not what i asked for #N i told them that but the anger lingered #So i texted them again n said that it really wasn't okay #When in a group of five everybody says one small thing they liked and one person rants on about how much everything sucked #That leaves a negative feeling. Sorry #And i texted that text to a friend n she said 'well i think you might be a bit too into it they didn't say everything sucked' #And it's like. Ok i could have worded that differently in hindsight but the point still stands!!! And WHY can't i be angry #It was a decent message overall considering i cried about the whole thing

[qumiiiquinnquin]

i am genuinely so fucking tired being expected to know when you want me to stop talking to you and just leave instead of you directly telling me. you never fucking tell me. im supposed to pick that up on my own and i cant until you start saying shit like "im tired" or sighing heavily when you think im done or you just sit there on your laptop or phone no longer acknowledging me, waiting for me to leave. you wont even look at me. always as soon as i leave i hear it - you immediately hitting unpause or putting in your headphones and sometimes even going into voice chats to talk to other people. i wonder if you've noticed that ive picked up on when you're evidently tired of me talking that i just cut myself off and walk out. or i wonder if you're grateful that i finally put that brake on myself and leave you alone. im tired of being ignored and just talking to a wall. im tired of half-hearted acknowledgment to what im saying when you aren't actually bothering to listen. im tired of having to just leave when i realize itd be convenient for you because you're bored with my company. and its not just you - everyone in this fucking house, this entire family, does it.

#vent #its thanks to all of you in my family that i feel bad wanting to talk and why im trying to force myself to not talk much. as well as not #talk unless spoken to and only say what you want to hear #have you noticed that i actually stop myself from coming in to say anything to you because i know you'll immediately want me to leave #i cant talk to anyone not even friends. i barely have any friends that are happy when i talk and like to talk to me #why else shouldn't i be so reclusive? i know nobody will give a shit about anything i say no less listen to me if i bother to say anything #i stop myself from saying anything anywhere because i always mentally tell myself nobody will care or listen to me anyway #everybody wants me to shut my mouth and keep it that way