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silverskye13 · 26 days

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random thought, but i had a vivid image of, if helsknight and welsknight ever saw each other without armor (or just helsknight out of his armor tbh), helsknight showing welsknight the scar tanguish gave him and saying "this was intended for you."

i don't know how in character that is, but tbh it's haunting me. maybe it's part of helsknight's revenge against welsknight or something, calling out his unknightly behavior and unhonorable conduct.

"You didn't answer my summons."

Helsknight froze. It was a quick, momentary startle, a short-circuit of normality. The moment he did it, every instinct told him to keep moving. That old command [Do something.] blared loud in the quiet surprise of his mind. So he moved his hand to pick up the brush on his table, and pretended to be unconcerned.

"I'm not a dog. You can't call me to heel," Helsknight said simply. He smirked and growled, "Though if you feel like losing some limbs, feel free to try."

Behind him, Wels shifted uncomfortably. Helsknight liked making Wels uncomfortable, he didn't handle it well. He was a creature used to comfort and ease. Inconvenience often galled him more than a sword to the throat. Different tactics for different battlefields, and this battlefield was a delicate one.

Helsknight was cleaning his arms and armor, which was one of several reasons why he hasn't leaped for a fight when Welsknight had called him to one. He was only in a tunic and breeches. It was luck he even had his boots on. He had offered to run errands with Tanguish, but Tanguish had said he was visiting his church and wanted to go on rooftops. So Helsknight stayed home, and he left his boots on. That was the other reason Helsknight hadn't answered the call: Tanguish wouldn't know where he was, and he knew Tanguish got paranoid about being left behind. Besides, Helsknight had chores he could do at home [like cleaning his arms and armor] so he stayed. Cleaning the chainmail was almost a formality. Hels was hot and dry, and he wore it often enough that the rings clattering together cleaned themselves. But sometimes he just liked putting an extra shine on things, so he took out his brush and oil and started brushing it down for any miniscule specks of rust or broken links he could find.

Wels, always keen on the times he wasn't wanted, decided now was the perfect time to show up in his living room. He stood awkwardly, waiting on Helsknight to make some aggressive movement. When none came, he cautiously stalked further into the tiny living space. His emotions were loud and uncomfortable without the distance between their respective worlds to dampen them, and they clung like smoke against Helsknight's skin. Caution at an unfamiliar space. Disgruntlement at being ignored.

[Guilt, like ash on a burn.]

"Is this... Yours?" Wels asked, glancing around.

"No, I'm just squatting in a random house. Sounded like a fun way to spend a Tuesday."

Helsknight felt the ant-bite sting of vicarious agitation and smirked. He was already getting on Wels's nerves.

[Good.]

"Couldn't build something nicer?" Wels snapped impatiently.

"I'm a fighter."

Helsknight found a place on his chainmail to brush down and got to work. The rough, grating twinge of the coarse bristles on chain made Wels wince. Helsknight always found the noise pleasant. Like scratching an itch.

"So?"

"I have better things to do than spend hours building the perfect house."

Wels scoffed and looked around the room with renewed disdain. "Where's your little devil?"

It took Helsknight a moment to place what he was asking. He sneered, a quiet bearing of teeth, and caught the flicker of red in the reflective shine of his chainmail. Wels looked pointedly away from him.

[Like ash on a burn.]

"Not feeling remorse... are we, crusader?" Helsknight asked, finding a new place to polish. The coin-drop clatter of chain, and the shrill scrape of bristles filled the silence like an accusation.

"Of course not," Wels sniffed disdainfully, still refusing to meet Helsknight's eye.

"Careful." Helsknight murmured, that red flash reflecting off his chainmail again, anger simmering. "Lying's a sin."

"Why would I feel remorse for protecting my home?"

"A crusade well fought I'm sure."

"It's not a crusade!" Wels snapped, his own anger a living thing raising hackles. "A crusader invades! A crusader fights a holy war just for the principle."

"Right. And you're fighting because--"

"Because I'm protecting Tango."

"-because it's for his own good?"

Wels didn't exactly wince, but he did still, as though he'd heard someone draw a blade from its scabbard. Helsknight might as well have unseated his sword. He had stopped scrubbing, all pretense of work falling. The need to pace, to circle, to corner, rose up in Helsknight like a waking beast.

"Interesting choice of words. Protecting." Helsknight said, his voice low, his hands still. "I was under the impression they were friends. Do you often protect Tango from the people he's begging you to spare?"

"That doesn't matter." Wels said so firmly it was almost convincing. Almost. "People are convinced they need an abusive relationship. That doesn't change the fact it's bad for them."

"So many interesting words today," Helsknight hissed. He stood like a dark tower rising, all embered fury slowly stoking. Wels didn't bother turning to face him. He could feel his intent like thunder. "Abuse. Brings to mind the image of power. I do have a question."

"I didn't come here for your stupid questions."

"No, you came here looking for a fight."

"I didn't."

"You really do need to tame that lying tongue."

"I didn't come here for a fight."

"Did it feel powerful?" Helsknight demanded, pacing a step, and loathing the tiny room for denying him the space to circle. "The voice. The command. How did it feel."

"Shut up."

"To have someone begging you not to hurt them," Helsknight continued relentlessly. "Not your stupid play fighting on your stupid little server. True, shaking, terror. Did it feel good, crusader? Just?"

"I told you to shut up!" Wels shouted, taking a threatening step forward only to find Helsknight had closed the space between them and stood looming like a rook on a tombstone.

Fear, a caged thing howling, battered against Helsknight's anger. It made Helsknight feel almost giddy, the crash of malicious schadenfreude and self-righteousness against Wels; a flickering thing of brittle will. They made a terrible ouroboros together, fear feeding anger feeding elation feeding fear. They were always like this. No matter how calm either of them tried to be, once anger kindled in one, their emotions burned until there was nothing left but fury and loathing. Helsknight had been made to cut Wels down to size.

"Do you know what that kind of fear does to people?" Helsknight demanded again, his voice so near a whisper it was smothering. They were so close together, but they made so little noise, all will and wide eyes. "What happened to mercy for the helpless, crusader?"

"He wasn't helpless," Welsknight said, trying very hard not to back down. "He stabbed me."

"And a drowning rat bites. I wouldn't call it an apex predator. Certainly I wouldn't call it a danger to you, with your full armor and sword." Helsknight bared his teeth at Wels, something like a bitter grin. "I wasn't wearing armor."

Wels looked down, where Helsknight had drawn up his tunic to reveal the new scar in his abdomen. Wels looked like he'd stopped breathing.

"This was intended for you," Helsknight said. "You should thank me."

"You're-- you're here telling me he's harmless," Wels laughed nervously. "But he almost killed you. You."

Something in Helsknight snapped, and in the moment it took him to reach for it with white knuckles and compose it again, he'd shoved Wels hard in the chest. It didn't knock his other half off his feet, but he stumbled back hard enough hit the opposite wall. Not hard enough to hurt, but certainly hard enough to warn.

"He did," Helsknight snarled, pacing forward slow steps. "That's what terror does to helpless people, crusader. It makes them bite. It makes them beg. It makes them clamor to live. You. Did. That. What did it feel like to abuse that kind of power Wels? To turn someone into a scared animal? To make someone so desperate they would almost kill a friend? Did you find your righteousness there crusader?"

Helsknight didn't know what he planned on doing. Violence was in his blood like a serpent, and he wanted it. And Wels knew he wanted it. There was the ring of drawn metal, and the silver-bright glint of an enchanted blade in a dark room. Helsknight's advance stopped at the top of Wels's sword, not close enough to hurt, but close enough to warn.

"Stop." Wels said. A command. A plea.

"I'm unarmed."

"That doesn't matter."

Helsknight smiled, and there was loathing and euphoria in it, and the wine-dark dread of Wels right on the other side of it. The knowledge of a line crossed, a battle he hadn't even realized he was fighting made forfeit.

"Fine." Helsknight said. "My blood's already been spilled once on your behalf. At least this time do it with your own sword, coward. I'll make it easy for you."

He took a step forward, and nudged the blade with a knuckle, resting the point against his scar. The metal was cold, even through his shirt, the enchantments alive and writhing so close to his skin.

"How cruel have you gotten while I wasn't there to keep you in check, crusader?"

There was a long breath of silence between them. Helsknight stood, precarious and predatory, daring Wels to kill him. And Wels stood there, and dared himself to as well. And the room was dark, lit only by red anger and blue dread, and the pale, languid flicker of enchanted steel. And neither of them breathed. And the universe watched.

A loud clatter sounded on the roof. Both knights looked up towards the ceiling, Wels in startlement, and Helsknight in resignation.

"And he stays my hand once again," Helsknight sighed.

"What--?" Wels didn't get his full question out before Helsknight moved. He knocked the sword aside and lunged forward to grab Wels's shirt. In a move that would've made Martyn proud, he dragged Wels forward into his knee, knocking the wind out of him. In the time it took Wels to collapse to the floor, Helsknight had taken his sword, and held the point beneath his other half's chin.

"Go home Wels," Helsknight said, "before I send you there the hard way."

Wels, breathless on the ground, let out half a strangled laugh. "Why don't you?"

"Because I was asked nicely not to go running off and killing you."

"Helsknight?" A loud knock sounded at the door. Tanguish's voice, a bright comfort even in spite of its concern, called to him. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard something fall."

Helsknight glared meaningfully down at Wels, who only hesitated long enough for Helsknight to draw back the sword before slipping back to his world. The moment he did, Helsknight felt his breath leave him, the great void of being left to his own thoughts and emotions. In the wake of everything that was Wels, he felt ridiculous.

[What in hels had he even been about to do? Die on someone's sword to prove a point? Idiot.]

"Helsknight? The door is locked."

"I'm coming," Helsknight called, pausing only long enough to hide Wels's sword beneath the couch, where Tanguish couldn't see it and inevitably worried about it. He checked his tunic to make sure he hadn't managed to actually stab himself [he hadn't] and went to let Tanguish inside.

#rns ficlets #helsknight #welsknight #tanguish (kinda)#this one feels very dense and dramatic #i feel like wels actively seeks out hels when he feels guilty / bad / self loathing #its like a compulsion: punishing yourself because you did wrong #even though its ultimately unproductive #also something something helsknight making some kind of point about how #instilling terror in something to confirm your bias that its dangerous #is more even than the terrified thing causing harm #case and point i scared you into drawing your sword on an unarmed man #i dont know im tired and that was a really badass phrase to just drop on me anon #*evil not even alskdjfjf im going to bed

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aholefilledwithtwigs · 10 months

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I have to say, as a full ass adult it is so satisfying to respond with ‘Tumblr’ when asked if I’m on any social media. It’s great. Just a conversation full stop. No ‘what’s your handle/username’ like with instagram or twitter. Absolute roadblock— and usually derails people from the whole goal of getting your socials

(other tumblr users also don’t ask username, but for entirely different reasons)

#people outside tumblr don’t seem to get it #and fear even venturing in #people from tumblr are wary because they DO know what goes on here #and looking at a real life coworker’s tumblr can change how you see them #my old therapist was also on tumblr #and was terrified of crossing paths with her here #though i know we inhabited wildly different circles #(she had never heard of plinko horse when it was at its peak #which seemed impossible)

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bluesdeluxe · 1 month

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Deniss Vasiļjevs: The Lion King | FS debut at Worlds 2024

music: "The Rightful King" by Hans Zimmer, "He Lives in You" by Lebo M performed by Kesha Shantrell and Matt Bloyd, cut by Matthias Versluis choreography: Stéphane Lambiel "This is the kind of skating that excites the skating community. No quads, but impassioned, something that ignites emotion in people. I feel inspired, it makes me want to skate!.." — Mark Hanretty's commentary.

#figure skating #deniss vasiljevs #worlds 2024 #fskateedit #included mark's words because deniss' skating is literally the reason i signed up for fs classes this year (& i used to be terrified of ice #just look at the transitions!! the sequnces!! how many things are there between the jumps!#and the jumps are so beautiful too!#(yes i saw those tight landings too + this can be filled with even more nuances bc deniss improves his choreo EVERY time he skates)#(SO deniss pls bring this program back next season!!! even though you're not really considering it right now T-T)#a veeeery good music cut btw. thank you matthias!!#blackbird fs gifs #fs gifs #the lion king program

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 9 months

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Glaring hole in Miguel x Spider!Reader fics that's never mentioned -

Or any Canon x Spider!Reader really

HEAR ME OUT -

Miguel probably wouldn't date another Spider-person.

Cause it's anomaly waiting to happen.

If you're with him you can't have your Gwen and Mary-Jane canon events, which may cause a ripple effect (Like Gwen's dad not dying either) and destabilize your universe.

Dating someone from another universe and inviting them into yours could be super dangerous, at least from Miguel's POV

I feel like two spider-people dating would be against the rules and Miguel would try to avoid it as much as possible between himself and between others.

Like if they catch you going to Hobies world too many times - that's a risk, your watch gets restricted and no more missions with him.

He needs to be available to his Mary-Jane if she comes along.

And pregnancies? Out of the question. A baby with the DNA from two dimensions is absolutely an anomaly - there might even be a risk of the universe collapsing during the pregnancy

Etc etc

Like Spider-people dating seems like it'd really threaten the society. And something they actively have to watch for and discouraged because of course people will connect through trauma and fall for each other

But by Miguel's logic, that's dangerous as hell and I think he'd try to avoid it, if he can help it.

Never see that mentioned. But I always think about it. I be reading fics trying not to notice.

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starrysharks · 10 months

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pigtail flora aka clover hayakawa !

#zeno's art #ocs #my ocs #my ocs art #original character #planet☆pigtail #pigtail flora #one of my fav designs so far tbh #shes like a very shy girl + wears normal glasses in her civilian clothes #and even though shes worried about the fate of planet pigtail she absolutely HATES being a magical girl at first #cuz shes terrified of fighting (even tho shes a natural with her shooting star crossbow)#i think she represents the nature on different planets (yes i know we're the only green planet right now but planet pigtail is super lush k)

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journal-from-the-heart · 6 months

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i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal

#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7 #he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them #than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was #so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times #but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute #that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems #from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now #and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened #childhood trauma #trauma #cptsd healing #cptsd recovery #cptsdawareness #trauma survivor #trauma recovery

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rentumblsstuff · 22 days

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Really though, Lautski hadn’t even gone in an official date. They JUST had an argument about how the other won’t admit they have feelings for eachother. But to be outed by GODS and be told “not only are they in love with you, but you’re the thing they cherish most in the entire world, and if you don’t want them to die, you have to die for them…”

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THAT INFORMATION ONCE EVERYTHING IS OKAY?

To know that you were willing to die for someone you’ve only been friends with for less than a month and had never even gone on a date with. To know that you and this person cherish eachother more than anything else in the world… And it’s been three weeks since you’ve officially met. How do you cope with this person becoming so integral to your life in such a short amount of time and not seriously reevaluate EVERYTHING ABOUT EACHOTHER AND YOURSELVES? How do you not think “How is this person is so great and my life so shitty that I am willing to DIE FOR THEM within WEEKS OF OFFICIALLY MEETING?”

Steph and Pete are both so young yet it’s so obvious they’re going to spend the rest of their lives together. Is that terrifying to them? Is it relieving? Do they ever worry that because they became so important to eachother so quickly, that same fire could die out just as fast? What if someone EVEN BETTER comes along and steals them in an instant, because “if I was literally the most important thing in the world within a month, how quickly can they leave me for someone better? How soon will they cherish something else?”

To have GODS definitively tell you that you and the person of your affections are so madly in love that the separation of your love is enough of a sacrifice to save the world… How do you look that person in the face? Without feeling terrified of how well they must know you? Or worse, without feeling terrified of how LITTLE they might know you? Because if THIS is the person you cherish most, and they don’t know all that much about you, how absolutely fucking terrible must every other relationship in your life be???

Peter and Stephanie are two people that are terrified of being seen and known for various reasons. The fact that the other loves them more than their own life… That has got to be the most overwhelming feeling in the universe to them. Even if it’s a good overwhelming, that is still A LOT. And on top of that, they’ve gone through something ONLY THE OTHER PERSON CAN UNDERSTAND (even Grace wouldn’t understand- she wouldn’t have had to take a life for her sacrifice). Theyre the only people that could ever understand eachother at this point. Even if they’re ecstatic they’ve survived and that they’ve finally ended up together, how do they process what they’ve gone through? How do they dance together at homecoming like they’re teens in love and not children that gods have basically dubbed intertwined with eachother for life.

I just have so many thoughts and feelings about NPMD like to the point where I have literally become nauseous listening to the CAITIA Reprise-

#if I was in this position I don’t know if I could even bring myself to look at the other person #hatchetfield #hatchetfield thoughts #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #lautski #npmd #SERIOUSLY THOUGH IF GODS TOLD YOU AND YOUR PARTNER THAT NOTHING ELSE MATTERED MORE IN YOUR LIFE THAN EACHOTHER #HOW TERRIFYING WOULD IT BE TO KNOW YOU LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH #THAT YOU L I T E R A L L Y LOVE THEM MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF

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