#even the piano player is crying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yan-lorkai · 4 months

Note

Imagine yandere Lucifer punishing his darling but instead of spells or line writing he goes for the silent treatment or just leaving them in a dark and enclosed space so and now there darling is getting flashbacks on how they were punished as a child and is begging him not to leave them

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, guilt tripping, child abuse, panic attack + comfort for the said panic attack, toxic relationship, probly some typos (❁´◡`❁)

You can still hear them, your parents screaming, their voices reverberating off the walls until everything goes silent. It is common for fights of this type to occur now; your father tries to protect you from your mother's extreme punishments, but he can never convince her to tell him where the basement keys are hidden.

Your father, blessed be his heart. He's was not good at defusing tension, throwing insults and punching things, and using a tone of voice so angry that it makes you shake and hold back crying.

Your childhood was like this, silent, ignored and sad, you often observed the world from behind the door lock. You could hear very faintly the news on television, you heard songs that your mother sang in an arithmic and out of tune tone, she gossiping with her friends, and above all you imagined a different life. A different world, with someone who loved you, with someone who protected you.

Things got even worse after your father's death, but you never told Lucifer these details. It wasn't a pleasant conversation to have, even though you trusted him a lot and you knew he would calmly comfort you and ease your fears, there was still distrust and pain present in your heart. You used to imagine a pink, pretty and glamorous love, and really Lucifer was all of that. But he had an additional danger lurking in the darkness of his heart, in his sharp-toothed smile and in his hands with huge claws that encircled your waist.

He was a demon and like all demons, the Morningstar loved possessively, a love so suffocating that it stole your entire essence. But you didn't care, you didn't know better and you let him take whatever he wanted from you without thinking twice. Lucifer was an extremely sweet and soft boyfriend most of the time, but he also was incredibly methodical.

Stopping to think now you don't know if he ever really loved you or the idea of you. The idea of a human lover who was strong and survived the seven lords of hell, the idea of a lover who was kind and funny and so fragile he could rip you in half with a single punch. Maybe that was why Lucifer loved having you on his lap so much, resting his face on your neck while he worked, he needed something weak to feel strong.

Just like your mother needed you to blackmail your father. The strong overcoming the weak, hunter and prey. And once again there was nowhere for you to run or anyone to help you.

The problem with ideas is that they are fragile, they break easily. Today instead of you coming to spend your time with Lucifer like you always did, you preferred to spend time with Simeon and Luke. They were your friends, it was only natural. But apparently it wasn't something that pleased Lucifer, he didn't like it one bit and he let you know this with the severe expression attached on his face.

"I will give you a chance to redeem yourself," ruby eyes staring into yours as if he withheld all the truth in the world and you were the most lying human he had ever seen. As if you were a flower that he needed to cleanse of the weeds that corrupted you. "Apologize if you will."

There was something different about him as soon as you found him. The soft sound of piano coming from his record player as the open windows let the air in and the dark atmosphere sink into your bones, a shiver went down your spine just like it did when you witnessed Lucifer punishing one of his brothers.

A bitter taste spreading in your mouth as you watched him cross his arms and smile. But it wasn't the same smile he gave you as soon as you got a good grade on your test or right after you two woke up. That smile was one of fascination every time he whipped Mammon or killed a demon, dark, sly smile that made a knot curl in your throat and tears of fear come to your eyes. A dark smile.

You remembered your father's voice. You remembered the slaps you received from your mother and your little world in the basement. You trembled, not knowing how to respond or act, only being able to count how many times Lucifer sighed or the number of times his feet made contact with the floor. The silence stretched until it seemed obscene. And the Morning Star had reached the end of his patience, disappointed in your silence and angry at being your second choice.

He crossed his office with slow steps, his expression now more neutral, Lucifer held your face between his hands tightly, his nails bruising your skin. You waited for anything, screams, attacks, except Lucifer touching his forehead to yours and looking into your eyes as if you were a dumb little thing. There was tenderness and there was fear, and there was a little of everything, your heart beating confusedly inside your chest as you drown on your own feelings.

"My sweet, naive summer child, you don't know what you did, do you?" He uses that condescending tone that almost makes you roll your eyes, but you don't, realizing that you're already in trouble and you don't want to irritate him even more. "Lovers are always each other's first priority, MC. Ever."

Your eyes widened as Lucifer freed your face from his hands and turned onto his back. "Wasn't I good enough for you, Mc? Have I not cared for and loved you always, as a good lover would? So why am I not your first priority like you are mine?"

Oh. You had hurt him. Oh my, you had hurt him.

You denied, pulling his arm so he turned to face you again. "No, no, I love you very much, Luci, I don't have eyes for anyone but you and I'm sorry if I made you doubt my feelings."

But he remained standing with his back to you, thinking, Lucifer was unpredictable when he was hurt, he was angry in his actions and vengeful in his words, and when he was quiet like this you always felt a little apprehensive. He walked away without saying anything in return, back to his paperwork, as if you weren't even there.

Was he ignoring you? You decided to move closer to him, guilt pounding in your chest as you sat down in the chair he always kept next to his. The same chair you left empty today while you were having fun with the angels, not thinking about how lonely he must be feeling being alone all day.

Were you really so wrong about spending time with your friends? Several minutes passed in silence, broken only by the sound of a pen dragging over paper and your breathing. It was so uncomfortable, the silence, you turned to see the closed expression that had closed on Morningstar's beautiful face, eyebrows twisted, lips set, he wasn't happy at all.

"Lucifer, can we talk?" You asked.

Lucifer, however, remained silent, not giving in to your words. He hummed his favorite song as he read and signed documents, smoothing his bangs as they fell in his eyes. In other times he would be reading to you out loud as you had confided in him that you loved listening to him speak, you would pull your chair closer and lay your head on his shoulder. You hated the silence.

In the silence you remembered the days spent in the basement, the sleepless nights and the shadows that crept from the walls to you, close to touching you before disappearing. And then the cycle repeated itself, your parents screamed, you listened the news and the gossips, night came and the shadows return, tauting you, mocking you.

You looked down, feeling the depth of the wound you had caused. The silence persisted, heavy, as you remained distant from each other, trapped in a moment of disagreement and hurt. The tightness in your heart became unbearable, suddenly you were back in your small basement room, the light fading, the cold crackling over your skin.

You looked down, your feet chained to the walls again while roachs and rats runned past you. And Lucifer... Lucifer had abandoned you because you ruined everything. Your body tightened, you took one, two breaths until you realized that the oxygen was not able to reach your lungs.

'He hates you.' An annoying voice screamed in your mind, making you flinch on your seat. 'He's going to break with you. He's going to leave you alone again.'

'If even your parents couldn't love, why he should?"

'Undeserving and ungrateful, good for nothing human.'

Too much noise. Too much silence. Too much everything. Invisible hands started to climb up your body, leaving you trembling and gasping for air.

Everything is crashing down on your already overwhelmed mind. You were stumbling in the darkness, without a light in sight, no end in the horizon. No switch to flick the light on, no Bringer of light in sight. Trapped forever here, alone. You clutched onto your chest with weak fingers. Your lungs were rising and falling at a far rapid pace, one you couldn’t gain control of. Everything was burning. What was this?

A panic attack? A heart attack?

A pair of hands found their place on your shoulders, nails digging straight into your skin, burning, scratching. You felt lightheaded, a thin line of sweat bathing starting to run down your neck as you tried to breath. Your eyes were open but you saw only darkness in front of you, you could breath only darkess, for it was only you and darkness that existed right here and right now.

The only good thing on your life was your relationship and you destroyed it so easily, so mindlessly.

There, in the darkness you could see your mom's face wearing a twisted smile. You struggled against your shackles backing away from her at every step she took on your direction, red painted nails trying to reach you, trying to harm you again as she always did.

“Breathe in, darling.” Lucifer’s voice cut through the panic, voice sounding too angelic for a demon like him. “Look at me, darling, I'II help you.”

You still looked at her, smile on her lips, eyes wild with angry. You whimpered, trying to put some more distance between you two.

She disapperead as soon as Lucifer placed your hand on his chest, freeing you from her mirage. “Slowly breath in!” You followed your lover's instructions, breathing through the nose at the same time as him. If anyone could save you from the darkness and the pain now, it was him. “And out- keeping going, darling, just like that.”

There was urgency in his voice you realized. But why? Why would he care when he hated you? The voices on your head had lied to you? But he also had leaved you alone - though you did the same to him just earlier, it's true.

“Breath in-” Light. It was you how would describe him, black as coal hair being lightned by a broken halo. He held onto you so softly, wiping the thick tears that you haven't even realized that were falling. You could see that he was confuse, scared even, since not even Mammon behaved like this after or during a punishment. "Everything's ok?"

The cat seemed to have caught your tongue, your head lolling forward as your entire body collapsed into his chest. Tired, that's how you felt, tired of the pain, tired of the darkness and having to remember that person.

That person who should love and protect you. That person that made your life a living hell just because she could, because it was fun, the same person whose house you would return after the exchange program.

Sobs erupted from your chest, trembling again in Lucifer's arms but from a different reason now. From exhaustion, from fear. Your arms circling his torso with enought stregth to knock him up if he was a puny and weak human. But he was not. He was not, if he was cruel like her then he would be laughing now, he would bellitle you.

He was not cruel. And he couldn't know that ignoring you would trigger such reaction. It was all your fault.

You looked at him, brows furrowed, apprehension on his eyes as he hold you, hands rubbing your sides and back. Lucifer was nothing like her, would never be like her even in a million years.

"I'm sorry." You whispered unable to formulate a better apologize. "Don't hate me, please."

Please, don't leave me. Please don't take the light away. Just please stay, you wanted to scream, want to let him know what happened. But couldn't, eyes blurry with fresh new tears, lips trembling, and Lucifer held you gently. He knew you couldn't talk right now, could see in your eyes that you were unable right now with panic and fear swimming in them - any and all reasons for your sudden outburst forgotten while he comforted you so gently.

The awful silence was replaced by your lover's loud little kisses that he peppered your face with. "It's ok, love, I've got you."

IBut you were right, he was nothing like your mother. In fact, he was worse and he recorded this entire event on his mind, replaying it, trying to find a reason why you reacted that way.

With time he could use this to shape you, could train you to never leave him, to never look at anyone else, to not even thinking any dumb throughts. He smiled, bringing you much closer than before, there on the floor, for you have fallen without realizing, hugging him, you felt safe again, felt loved, if only you realized that his love was toxic and suffocating... But it's too late now.

#yandere obey me #obey me #yandere lucifer #yandere lucifer x mc #yandere lucifer x reader #lucifer x mc #lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #lucifer avatar of pride #lorkai drabble

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lqvesoph · 1 year

Text

babysitting - jude bellingham

gif by @yumr11

summary: Your friend asked you to take care of her baby daughter for the day and Jude joins you

fluff

masterlist taglist

Your heart was swelling with joy as you watched Jude handling the baby in his arms.

Your best friend has asked you to watch her little baby girl. She just turned four months old and your friend and her boyfriend wanted to have a date night alone. So you agreed on taking the little girl for the day. But ever since your boyfriend randomly decided to show up this noon, he basically took her away from you.

At this point she even started wrinkling her nose when you wanted to take her away from Jude's arms.

He was currently holding her up in front of the TV, bouncing her up and down and watching the Schalke vs Bayern game. He didn't have a game today as BVB played yesterday already and after their recovery session this morning, he had the rest of the day off.

"Them we don't like", Jude mumbled holding her up to whisper into her ear while pointing to the players dressed in blue.

"You know her parents are Schalke fans", you chuckled, interjecting from the couch. Jude's head whipped around, looking at you in shock. "They are?", he asked.

"Yeah."

"Why are you friends with them?", Jude questioned, fully focusing on you now. "They said the same about you when I told them we're dating", you laughed.

His attention was soon taken away from you though, because the small girl in his arms yawned.

He immediately looked down to her. "Are you tired, princess?", he whispered in a high, soft voice.

"Let's put you down, love", Jude cooed. He didn't even acknowledge you when walking past you to carry the baby upstairs.

You shook your head, smiling at how engrossed Jude was with the little girl.

"Your auntie set up this little bed just for you", he talked to the baby while walking up the stairs. "See?"

Jude flicked on the light switch and showed her the little crip you had prepared. He turned on the play of light and the music, which started to play a piano verison of 'You'll never walk alone'.

"See, your auntie wants you to be a Dortmund fan as well", he smiled, carefully putting the girl down in her crib.

But as soon as his warm hands left her, she started to wrinkle her nose and let out small sobs that quickly turned into crying.

"No, princess. Don't cry, I'm right here", he muttered, slightly starting to sing along to the song but the girl's crying only continued.

So he didn't have any other choice but to lift her up in his arms again and as fast as her crying had started, it stopped again when she felt Jude's body against her.

"Guess I have to take you with me again", Jude mumbled, turning off the light again and closing the door.

You didn't turn around when you heard your boyfriend walking down the stairs, so you didn't see that the little girl was still in his arms.

"Jude did you put her d-", you asked but stopped when Jude was in front of you. "I guess she didn't want to sleep alone", he said, an adorable expression on his face.

"I tried singing but I don't think she liked it", he muttered, causing you to smirk.

"Oh really? Wonder why", you grinned cheekily, raising an eyebrow. Jude kicked your foot lightly. "Shut up", he said teasingly.

Everyone probably remembers the video Jadon posted to his Instagram story a while ago...

The baby's eyes fluttered shut and she sighed against his chest. You tapped the empty spot on the couch next to you a few times. "Come on", you said. Jude obeyed and carefully laid down next to you, gingerly not to hurt the baby.

He put the little human on his chest and wrapped his other arm around you. You smiled up at him before putting your head next to the little girl.

"We do like him", you whispered to the baby on Jude's chest and pointed to Terrode. Jude clasped his hand over your mouth, shutting you up. "No we don't, he's playing for the rival club", he said, slightly horrified you even said something like this.

"But he's pretty, so it's fine", you smirked against his chest. "What? He's way too old", Jude complained. You laughed at the fact he was so bothered by your words. "Still pretty!"

Jude sighed and carefully stroked over the baby's hair. "You better not become a Schalke fan as well, little one", he warned, making you chuckle.

"You're gonna be a great baby daddy", you whispered after a few minutes of silence. "What?", Jude mumbled. You didn't see his face but you could tell he was smiling.

"You heard me", you muttered shyly and buried your face in his chest. Jude chuckled and placed a gentle kiss on your hair.

taglist

@im-an-overthinker @buendiabebeta @hungryhungarian @eve-eh @ohthemisssery @kenopsiababe @starlightoctavia @sawendel @lechefian @teamspideyman @enjoymyloves @alireads27 @ricsaigaslec @ravenqueen27 @whatever-comes-to-me @squidwardsluverxx @temqr1 @leclerc16s @lavinyx @dudelovesstuff @theamazingsimp @coldmuffinbanditshoe @hotchnisscm97 @bellasummer03 @andtheworldiscrashingdownonme @moneymasnn @justme2042 @organasith @idkiwantchocolatee @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @pleasantducktimetravel @anthonykatebridgerton @juno-1610 @lisannehus @hannahholland1811 @marvelousmendess @lighttsoutlewis @mydutchproblem @dan3avocado @alwaysclassyeagle @cocomira @hopiiex @allthisfortommy @soleilgrec @cheeryara @person234 @aquamariene-me @judespoision @klouise12345 @sbgal @teti-menchon0604

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham gif #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham x reader #football imagine #bvb 09 #borussia dortmund

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readyplayerhobi · 9 months

Text

Because, I Love You | 12

; Genre: Fluff, angst

; Word Count: 5.1k

; Warnings: Fatphobia, ageism, mentions of miscarriage

; Synopsis: According to society, Jeon Jungkook should not be with you. He should be with a younger, hotter and thinner girl instead of wasting his time on you. It’s a good thing Jungkook doesn’t care what society thinks then.

; A/N: Soo...you’ve been waiting for this one for like...a week now. And it’s here...the reason why Jungkook disowns his own mum! If you enjoyed this, please reblog so it can get on other people’s screens and I’d love to hear your thoughts in a comment or an ask - either one is great for me and let’s me know you like this fic still! Your feedback keeps encouraging me to write after all this time.

; Masterlist

"You're totally gonna cry." Jimin teases, though he sounds happy and not malicious. His words are lightened even more by the broad grin he's wearing as he smoothes out Jungkook's lapel once more.

"Fuck yeah, I am. I cry at anything, seeing the love of my life in her wedding dress walking down the aisle towards me? If I'm not blubbing like a two-year-old who's had candy taken from them then punch me till I am." Jungkook is rambling, and he can tell. But he's so damn nervous and excited. Nervited. Excous. Whole new words.

Junghyun, his older brother, laughs loudly and pats Jungkook on the shoulder. Well, it feels more like he's punching him but Jungkook will just consider it a pat as it's done in good faith. Jimin was his best man, but Junghyun had agreed to be a groomsman.

The two of you had decided on a smaller wedding, to save money and make it more intimate. So you only had two bridesmaids and two groomsmen. Momo, your best friend who'd moved back in the last year, was your maid of honour while Hana, another close friend, was a bridesmaid. Thankfully, your friends had been understanding as to why they weren't all invited to be in the bridal party - because Jungkook wanted his brother and best friend, so logically you needed two to match - and were now sitting comfortably in the chairs that had been placed out for the day.

You'd also decided that you didn't want your bridesmaids to walk down the aisle, do they were already waiting for you. The whole day was planned to be simple, fun and intimate. You'd both chosen a beautiful hotel as your venue and were marrying in the gardens, with the dinner and reception later to be half in the other part of the gardens and the hall that had been rented.

Chewing on his lip ring, he looks towards the door that'll you'll be coming through for perhaps the millionth time and he jumps on the spot for a moment. He's got too many feelings, too much energy. He just wants you to turn up so he can marry you.

"Calm down, you're gonna be napping like a toddler if you keep moving around." Jimin chuckles, pressing down on Jungkook's shoulders to get the younger man to stop moving. It works to stop him from hopping, but his fingers are tapping on his thigh instead now.

"He doesn't need to move to nap, you know that." Junghyun snorts in amusement, but it's cut short by the sudden start of the music.

For a second, it doesn't register in Jungkook's head but then he realises - it's your music, the music for you to walk down the aisle.

"She's coming!" He squeaks, and if he didn't have a million thoughts in his head then he'd be embarrassed at how pitched his voice had gone. But he couldn't care now, not when you were coming!

The music soars, and he recognises it as from your favourite video game. You hadn't let him hear it beforehand, had just let him know that he'll recognise it and…he did. It makes him laugh it registers.

You really picked An End Once And For All from the Mass Effect 3 soundtrack. It was your favourite game, and he knew that some would be a little confused at the unusual choice but he loved it. You'd opted for it to be played solely on piano, and he eyes the piano player for a second.

Great, now he was going to forever cry when he heard this song.

The door opens and it's like time stands still for a moment. You're standing there on your own for a moment, having decided that you were a modern woman and didn't want anyone to walk you down the aisle. The bouquet in your hands is held tightly, a deep purple ribbon that matches the colour scheme of the wedding trailing down.

Slowly, you start to walk towards him, passing row after row of your friends and family. Your dress is beautiful - folds of soft ivory silk with delicate lace patterns overlaying it, the lace trailing up over your bodice and shoulders before twirling down your arms. Each movement has the dress kicking out slightly, and he notes the tiny glimmers of crystals that have been carefully woven into the material.

If an angel got married, Jungkook is pretty sure she'd look like you.

Finally, you're standing next to him as you hand off your bouquet to Momo and smile brightly at him. He tries to smile back, but he's been crying so damn hard that all he manages is for his lips to quiver pathetically. Sniffling, he wipes at his eyes frantically.

"Sorry," He mumbles, "You're so beautiful, I love you."

That sets him off again, and you laugh softly before reaching up to wipe away his tears. You're looking at him so fondly, he can't even bring himself to care that he's currently bawling his eyes out. At least Jimin doesn't need to hit him.

"I love you, too." Gently, you clean his face while quiet snickers rumble through the guests at his crying. Nothing malicious, just amused and cooing over how soft he is for you.

"Are you both ready?" The officiant asks, raising a brow at you both as he tries to hide his smile. Jungkook guesses he must see this all the time, and surely it's a good sign for a wedding if the guy cries, right?

Both of you nod at him, and Jungkook takes your hand and squeezes. He's actually getting married, he's going to have a wife in a few minutes. You're going to be his wife.

"Good afternoon, everyone. I hope everyone's excited for today, which sees us witnessing the union of Mr Jeon and Miss Y/L/N for love." Jungkook zones out as the officiant gets through the legal talk and starts to say something about the love between the two in front of him. Ironic, given Jungkook only met the guy yesterday.

But he's too busy staring at you in simultaneous amazement and love. You're here, you're marrying him. You'll be Mrs Jeon, his wife. You're so damn beautiful.

"If there is any person here present who knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage, then they should declare it now."

He's busy smiling at you, so busy that he doesn't even register the words spoken out loud. Not until he notices the way the space has become quiet, the silence deafening suddenly.

Frowning, he looks at the officiant who looks both shocked and confused. Then he looks at you, who mirrors the emotions, though there's also some horror in there too.

Finally, his brain catches up and he twists to stare at his mom. His mom, who had never liked you and who had pitched a fit when he'd announced his wedding. His mom, who had sworn she wouldn't come, only to turn up here anyway.

"What?" Jungkook asks, the confusion in his voice making him sound more like a child. This is what he feels because he can't understand why his mom is objecting.

"I said, I object. I don't approve of my son marrying some old, fat woman. I've never approved of her, and I've tried repeatedly to bring him back but she's got her claws so deep into him. I don't want my son to marry a woman six years older than him, who's probably too old and fat to have children now. Not when my Jungkook deserves so much better. You should be marrying a doctor or a lawyer, not her. So I object, I don't want her in my family and I will never accept her as a daughter-in-law." His mom finishes her tirade, her cheeks red with anger and her face twisted with bitterness. He doesn't recognise her.

Jungkook was frozen in place, his eyes wide and jaw dropped as his mind blanked out. What had just happened? He didn't understand, he couldn't understand - this kind of stuff didn't happen in real life, right?

Yet here he stood, holding your hand tighter than he meant to as he stared in disbelief at his mom. The woman who'd raised him with so much love and affection, who was now unrecognisable to him. He wasn't the only one, his dad was also staring at her in horror whilst his grandparents looked shocked. And that was nothing compared to everyone else.

Jungkook was pretty sure that your parents were going to punch his mom, and frankly, he would let them. But that wasn't the important bit right now.

Turning to you, the love of his life wearing the most beautiful ivory dress and ready to legally tie yourself to him, he felt his heart break. Tears were banked in your eyes, and he saw the slightest quiver to your lips, the movement replicated by your fingers clasped in his own.

No, no.

"Is there somewhere we can go for a few minutes? This won't affect anything, right? I just…I need to sort this out and I don't want Y/N to hear." He whispered to the officiant, who looked like he'd never seen this happen at a wedding before. Just what Jungkook wanted, for his wedding to be a fucking Reddit worthy story.

Still, the officiant nodded and reached out for you, carefully taking your hands from Jungkook. There's a brief moment where you fight, but Jungkook begs you quietly to go, that he'll be there as soon as he can and that he loves you, and most importantly…that he's so sorry.

Once you've disappeared through a door back into the hotel, he rounds with fury in his eyes. And god, he wishes he didn't cry when he was angry.

"What. The. Fuck." He spits, storming to the front row of his seats where his mom looks victorious and his dad looks sorrowful. It's only when she takes in the anger that practically vibrates in his body that she pauses. She loops her arm through his dad's for support, but his dad lets go and steps away with contempt in his eyes.

"I don't know why you're so surprised. You've known I don't approve of her for years now, and I've always let you know. You deserve so much better, someone who will give you beautiful babies and be on your level." There's a shout from your side that gets muffled quickly, and Jungkook notes that your mom is currently being dragged to the door you'd exited by your family. He wants to apologise, but he has to sort this out.

"Shut up, just SHUT UP. Why are you so fucking bitter? Y/N is perfect for me, I love her so much and you have no right to have any opinion here. None. It's my life, not yours. Fuck, I didn't even want you here. You're only here because Y/N wanted to give you another chance and you…you fucking…" He cracks then, swallowing hard as he finally starts to cry from embarrassment and hurt for you.

Turning away for a moment, he presses his hand to his mouth hard as tears fall and he looks up at the beautiful sky. She'd made you cry, at your wedding ceremony. She'd insulted you on things that he knew you'd worked hard to overcome, yet deep inside you were still insecure about. In front of all your friends and family, along with his.

Letting out a shaky breath, he turns back around and lets his mom see his absolute devastation. She had no idea what you'd had to work through to learn to love yourself, or the way you'd made yourself vulnerable to him when letting him love you. She had no idea about the pain of the struggles you'd had to get pregnant or the fact that you'd now had two miscarriages. There was so much she didn't know because he'd known that she'd use it to hurt you. Yet she'd managed to use it anyway.

"Get out. I want you out." He says, his voice shaking and quiet but the words are like gunshots. His mom's eyes widen in shock, and he realises that she's genuinely surprised he's taken a stand. In her fantasy world, she'd speak her peace and he'd realise he was wrong and come back to the fold.

It makes him angry and he grits his teeth.

"Get. Out. Leave, go. I don't want you here, I don't fucking want you anywhere. This is it, I'm done. You want me to pick? Fine, I pick her. Get out of my wedding." He spits, pointing to the door that'll take her out of the wedding, and in a just world out of his life.

"Jungkook, you can't mean tha-"

"GET OUT. Dad, please. I can't…please." He begs his dad, knowing that his dad has always been kind to you and has tried to be the barrier between his mom and her horrible views. There's a second of hesitation before his dad nods, grasping his wife's arms firmly. She's started to rant at them both, jerking to get herself free.

Before he manages to push her into the aisle, his dad stops and gives him a tight smile.

"I'm so sorry, I really am. Please let Y/N know I'm so sorry about this, I think she'll be a great daughter-in-law to me." His compassionate words make Jungkook smile weakly as he nods, before moving to stand in front of everyone.

There's still shock and uncertainty on everyone's faces and he feels so embarrassed, so humiliated that they've all witnessed this. He can't even imagine how you feel.

"I'm sorry you've all had to see that. I, erm, I'm gonna go see Y/N…I don't know if the wedding will carry on. I don't know…it's up to Y/N. I'm sorry." He doesn't know what to say, and he hates how lost he feels.

"Tell her we're sorry too, and that we'd still love to see you both get married if she wants." Jimin says, his best man resting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing reassuringly. There are murmurs of agreement from the crowd, and Jungkook wants to cry from the reassurance everyone gives.

Instead, he nods his head and hurries after you. He'd have been confused as to where you'd been taken if it wasn't for your dad standing outside another door. Jungkook feels about 10cm tall as he walks up to him, his shoulders hunching up to his ears as shame flushes through him. It wouldn't surprise him if your dad hit him, even if it had been his mom who'd said everything.

Stopping in front of him, Jungkook opens his mouth to apologise but he's cut off by strong arms pulling him into a hug. It's a little awkward, with Jungkook's hands dangling uselessly.

"I'm sorry." Your dad says, his tone full of compassion and it confuses him.

"Why are you apologising? I should be, I'm so sorry you had to hear that…I-I don't know what," Looking down, he frowns in frustration. "I've kicked her out…of my life too, hopefully."

"It's not your fault, a child isn't responsible for what their parents say, okay? You love my daughter, I know that. She's in with her mum," He states, nodding his head to the door. "I'm sorry this happened, you don't deserve it."

Jungkook's throat tightens, and all he can do is nod before going through the door. It's a small receiving room inside, with a fancy-looking couch taking up most of the space. He doesn't even understand the purpose of this room, but he doesn't care. Not when you're sat on the couch, your dress splayed out around you with your mom sitting beside you, her arm around your shoulders.

His heart breaks again when he sees the tears on your face, and he feels like shouting in anger at his mom once more. But he doesn't, because this isn't about her.

Glancing at your mom, he notes the upset and pain in her eyes and gives her a tiny smile. She stands, moving over and hugging him as well.

"I'm sorry about all this." He can tell there's more she wants to say, but she restrains herself with a glance back at you. Once she's left the room, Jungkook moves over to you and frowns, pressing his lips together before crouching next to you.

You stare blankly at your hands, tear after tear following well-laid tracks down your face. He knew that you'd opted for waterproof makeup, but even that wasn't able to keep up with the amount you were crying. Not to mention whenever you wiped them away.

"Y/N…" He whispered, feeling useless. It was his mom, and he hadn't seen you cry like this before. You'd cried in pain at the loss of your babies twice now, you'd cried at the fact that a year of passively trying had yielded only one miscarriage and nothing else, you'd occasionally cried when you'd got so overwhelmed from stress but never like this.

Never the quiet and defeated way you were crying now, the slump to your shoulders and the pained look in your eyes breaking his heart. He hated that he couldn't fix this immediately.

Kneeling on the floor - he didn't care if he got his rented tuxedo dirty - he reaches out and takes your hand. Your engagement ring is on your right hand for today, waiting for the wedding band that would be placed onto your left ring finger before joining it once more.

"I'm so sorry." He goes to say something else but surprises himself by breaking down. It annoys him that he's crying when you're the one who suffered such horrible insults, but his heart is aching for you and he's so confused and upset.

Pressing his face into the soft fabric of your dress, he lets out a quiet sob.

"Don't cry, please don't cry." You whisper, running your fingers through his hair in that soothing way he loves. He should be comforting you, and he feels annoyed at himself like he's letting his mom win by letting you baby him and comfort him.

"I should've known, I should've pushed back on inviting her. She's never gonna change, she's just so bitter and cruel. She's not the mom I knew." Jungkook says, sniffling as he looks up at you. At the woman he loves so much, he didn't even know it was possible to love like this.

"Maybe she's right," You whisper, your voice so thin and broken, and he doesn't get a chance to refute before you continue speaking. "I love you, and I've never loved someone so much but…I've never really felt worthy of you. I try to push those thoughts aside, but…you know what it's like. When those negative thoughts get in your head and it wiggles in. Sometimes I just look at you and wonder why you're here…why me? You're younger and ridiculously good-looking and in shape, with plenty of money and you're so damn kind and fun. Why me? I never really understood and you always showered me with love so I just ignored it but…everything she said is something I've already hurt myself with by saying before."

He stares at you in horror, and hatred for his mom swirls in his gut. All the shit she'd spouted had been stuff he'd heard before, and he knew that you'd asked yourself it sometimes. You'd even asked him outright on occasion, but hearing the defeated way you agree with his mom leaves him heartbroken.

"No, no don't listen to her. She's just a bitter and hateful woman because she can't control her son anymore and that I won't follow the life she thought I'd have. I don't care about what she said, she's wrong. You're the best thing to happen to me." He pleads, and he genuinely doesn't know how to resolve this. Fighting negative thoughts is a battle that many lose, and he's terrified that you're being forced to confront such awful ones on what should've been such a happy day.

"What if she is right? I mean…I'm already struggling to give you a baby and the problem is more likely to be me than you. You're young and in great shape, whereas I'm older and overweight. What if we can never have kids and it's all because of me? And she's right that you could be with someone younger and prettier, you get hit on all the time and like…what if one of those girls is who you're meant to be with? What if they could give you a baby immediately? You're so…perfect, and I'm not. I know that. People don't think I'm pretty, I'm fat, I don't like wearing makeup, I'm opinionated, I'm older than you, I don't shave all the time-"

"Stop, stop, please stop," Jungkook begs, his voice breaking as tears fall so fast. "I don't care what my mom thinks, I don't. And I know that's a luxury you can't have, but please…stop telling me what I should think. I don't care what other people think, and I don't want you to put their opinions onto me. I love you, I love everything about you and I love all the bits you don't love. I think you're beautiful, and I genuinely don't care about your weight. If I did, I would've said something or just never approached you. I love that you have opinions and you're willing to say them, it's hot as fuck to me. I love that you're confident enough in yourself to not wear makeup and shave all the time, it doesn't bother me. I've always said that I love the confidence that you have that comes from being older, that you have your life put together and don't have to rely on me,"

"I love your smile, I love your hands, I love your face, I love your laugh, I love your jokes, I love you. And what if I'm the problem? What if I have slow swimmers, or not enough? What if they're weak? Maybe a younger girl would get pregnant instantly, but I don't want that. I want you. If I'm gonna have a baby, then I want it with you. If we never have babies, then as long I'm with you, then it's fine. I love you, and it's killing me that you have these thoughts and you're having to have them on today of all days. Today should be happy, and I'm so sorry that it's not. Please…believe me. I love you." He begs, kissing your fingers as if he's trying to press his feelings into you by force.

Silence falls, and he gets the sense that it's not a negative kind of quiet, but more a contemplative one as you think through what he's said. Being on his knees and begging you to believe his love wasn't what he expected on his wedding day, but then he also hadn't ever expected his mom to show how ugly she is.

Finally, you shift your hands in his until you can cup his cheek. Immediately, he presses into your touch like a sun-starved flower meeting the morning rays of light. He doesn't notice the small smile you give him, doesn't even realise he's closed his eyes at your touch until he hears the sharp exhale of your laugh.

Looking up at you - your dress looks even more beautiful on you this close - he takes in the way your tears have slowed. Taking in a deep breath, a little shakier than it would've been at any other time, you lean forward and lightly kiss him on the forehead.

Before he can even say anything, you're already rubbing away the lipstick mark that had been left and he feels hope spark in his chest once more. You've both been through a lot, and you've done it together. This was just another obstacle, right?

"You're such a good man, Jungkook." You murmur, opening your arms slightly in invitation. He takes it immediately, rising to sit on the couch next to you. A yelp of surprise leaves you as he carefully lifts you onto his lap, a grunt leaving him with the effort and he feels fear flash through him. What if you thought he thought you were too heavy with that noise?

But you giggle, and the noise soothes his worries.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, Jungkook hugs you as tightly as he can without ruining your dress and presses his head into the space between your neck and shoulder. Breathing in deeply, he takes in the soft scent of your favourite perfume and the lingering smell of your peach body wash, all with the unique smell underneath it all that was just you.

"I'm not that good. You do complain at me for leaving the empty milk cartons in the fridge, and for not cleaning the sink after I brush my teeth, and for always eating the chips that you wanted, and-" You cut him off with a laugh, kissing him as he smiles at you happily.

"Shut up, you know what I meant." Jungkook grins before nodding, kissing your cheek and making a face at the gross taste of the makeup on it. He doesn't say anything, though, but he notes the way you smile and wipe his lips clean.

"I know, and I don't want you to like…idolise me. But I also don't want you to listen to my asshole of a mom. I kicked her out, by the way. My dad said sorry, I can imagine there's gonna be a big ass fight when they get home and I'm glad. She needs some reality." Pursing his lips, he half wishes he could see his mom get put in her place. At least, he hopes his dad does that.

"He doesn't need to apologise, it's not his fault. Same as it's not your fault." You muse, your gaze lifting before you begin to clean up his hair. He can only assume it's looking a bit rough right now, what with how much he was pulling it outside.

"Will you believe that, too?"

"Why wouldn't I? I invited her to try and build bridges between us both, but she's made her feelings clear. It annoys me that she's made me cry and humiliated us both, but that was what she wanted. So…I'm not over it, I'm definitely not over it. I still want to run away and curl up and cry. I've no doubt that I'm gonna have some depressive relapses now, which I'm totally looking forward to, but her need to be cruel is not my fault, or your fault, or your dad's." Jungkook wonders if it would be too much to fall to his knees and worship you right now.

He's always known that you were level-headed and confident, it was one of the reasons he fell for you. The age difference that sometimes worries you has let you wrangle your inner demons and learn to understand and love yourself, so it doesn't surprise him that you're bouncing back so quickly. It also isn't a shock that you're so pragmatic about your mental health, though he's fully prepared for the tears that will come.

But this level of reasoning, after such a shocking event, is surprising even to him. Your wedding was interrupted by his mom, who proceeded to personally insult you in front of those you love and here you are…less than half an hour later and already laughing with him.

God, if he hadn't loved you before…

"You're amazing, you know that?" Jungkook laughs, leaning back slightly and just marvelling at you. Your makeup is a little ruined, and your dress isn't nearly as neat and pristine as it had been, yet you've never been more beautiful to him.

"Is everyone still out there?" You ask, and he hears the soft tremor you try to keep out. As resilient as you are, you're still a person with feelings at the end of the day, and even he feels uncertain at the thought of going back out to friends and family who will be concerned and shocked.

"Yeah, they are. Or should be. I mean, it's up to you but…they've said they'd love to still see us get married. It's why they're all here, and they're not assholes like my mom. But if you don't feel up to it then…we could do the vows in here, or something? Or…well, we could postpone it, if you wanted." He really, really doesn't want to postpone it. Jungkook had woken up this morning excited to marry you, and the thought of going to bed without your ring on his finger made him feel sad.

Pushing up from his lap, you move over to the door and cross your arms whilst an outraged look paints your face.

"Are you kidding? I'm not postponing our wedding, not unless you want to. Your mom is a bitch, but not even she can make me willing to lose the thousands we've spent on this day. Plus, I really wanna marry you. We're not letting her win, okay? Fuck her." Lifting your chin, you get a distinctly obstinate look on your face and he can't help but laugh.

"Yeah, fuck her. I'll tell everyone and sort it out with the officiant. Do you want me to send Momo in, there's no mirror if you're wanting to touch up or anything." He asks, referring to your best friend and maid of honour who had recently moved closer. While your mascara and eyeliner have done a valiant job of holding up, it's still pretty obvious you've been crying and Jungkook doesn't know enough about makeup to help you fix it up.

Taking a deep breath for stability, you nod and smile at him.

"Yes, please. Give us five minutes or so, and say sorry to the officiant for me, too?"

Moving over to you, Jungkook grins and lightly cups your face in his hands. You smile back at him, and he knows that you'll probably both need to go through some therapy after today but taking control again feels good. Plus, as you said - he wasn't going to let his mom win.

"I love you." He states, before giving you a quick kiss.

"Love you, too. Let everyone know that if someone else does something to ruin today, then I will punch them. And I don't care if I don't know how to hit properly, I've reached the limit of shit I'll take today."

"It's okay, I do know how to hit properly so I'll do it for you."

#armiesnet #networkbangtan #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #bts fluff #bts angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfiction #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader

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guitar-spear · 22 days

Text

Posting my headcanons bc I’m a silly billy ‼️‼️‼️

Lute Headcanons

Christian (duh)

She/Her

Bisexual with a preference for Adam (but she hasn’t admitted she’s bisexual yet)

Badass 🗣️🗣️

Hates most people except for Adam, Emily and Sera. Emily’s like a younger sister for her, Sera like a mother and Adam a role model, best friend & partner (in crime and in romance)

Trained herself in self defence as well as fighting (though it wasn’t necessary til the events of episode 8)

Loves horror movies

Doesn’t like musicals too much but actually got pretty into school of rock cuz of Adam

Loves fighting, would willingly kill anyone who fucks with her or the people she cares about

Easily jealous, especially when Adam’s literally flirting with others or calling other people hot (which is often)

Reserved in public, clingy in private (especially post episode 8 following the theory of Adam being down in hell now ‼️)

Scared of being abandoned

Has never cried around anyone nor will she ever cry around anyone (she’d only ever cry around Adam if she absolutely had to, for example episode 8, but that’s RARE.)

Autistic.

Adam Headcanons

Christian (DUH???)

He/Him

Pansexual (took forever to admit it, a combo of “$20 is $20�� and “if there is a hole there is a goal” mentality)

Alex Brightman enthusiast

Loves rock (like he’ll only listen to rock or rock-like music)

School Of Rock fan (his favourite song is stick it to the man)

Egotistical, self-centred prick (but he still loves Lute)

Pro guitar player

Will only ever cry around Lute and it’s also very rare cuz it makes him feel weak

“All women belong in the kitchen (not Lute tho she belongs in my arms 🗣️🔥💕)” Adam, probably

Clingy both out in public and in private

Not easily jealous but if anyone tries ANYTHING he WILL get defensive asf like “mf that’s my woman” type shit

Terrified to love (bc of Lilith and Eve, though it was his fault he doesn’t think it’s his fault)

Gets terrified watching horror movies and spends majority of it not actually watching it

Scared of storms 😭

Joint (Guitarspear) Headcanons

Lute and Adam defo play instruments together (Adam plays guitar and Lute plays piano or sings)

They hang out and gossip about the other Exorcists or the fuckers in hell every night while sitting on a rooftop and drinking alcohol (they probably stargaze too if they can)

They have matching bracelets that say danger tits and dickmaster for sure (Adam rarely wears it when out with Lute since he doesn’t think men should wear jewellery but he still wears it whenever he can when he’s not out in public)

They’re that one duo that judges anyone and everyone, if you’re judgable you’re being judged by them

They hype each other up constantly (examples: Lute in Hell Is Forever, Adam in You Didn’t Know)

Adam probably tries to impress Lute with his amazing guitar solos

Adam fell first Lute fell harder

They count down to the extermination like it’s New Years 😭😭

Lute could NOT handle Adam’s death (very sad 😔)

(Post Episode 8)Lute defo goes down to hell just to make sure Adam’s okay even though that’s extremely risky for her (BC WE ALL KNOW ADAMS GONNA BE DOWN THERE)

They both love drama so they just cause chaos together

They refer to themselves as partners (but use the excuse of it being partners in crime)

Adam is extremely bad at giving or handling physical affection and Lute is extremely good at both most of the time (it depends when)

Adam randomly picks up Lute to piss her off (the height difference is laughable)

Lute has selfies they both took prior to each extermination stuck up on her wall

Adam can’t handle horror movies at all so during watching horror movies Adam would be terrified (though too egotistical to actually admit it) while Lute is just being critical about killers and enjoying the movie

Adam is usually the one to incite flirting, whenever Lute flirts she’s just taking advantage of the situation

Lute only calls Adam by his name if she’s pissed and usually calls him sir

They tell inappropriate jokes 24/7 for fun (half the time the jokes lead to flirting 😭)

Lute has a horrible sleep schedule and so just falls asleep randomly during the day if she’s not gotten enough sleep (averages like 2 or so hours max if she’s lucky) and usually either falls asleep on Adam or Adam has to catch her if she collapses

Pillow fights.

Adam has to take care of Lute’s wings bc she’s reckless and usually doesn’t give a shit about her wings but Adam cares and so usually is the one to preen them and make them look better

@gothlute i wanna tag you in this cuz you’re the reason i decided to post these so enjoy!!

#guitarspear #guardrock #adam x lute #lute x adam #hazbin hotel #hazbin #headcanons #headcanon #hc #my hcs #lute #adam #i’m obsessed with this ship oh my god #THIS IS MY LIFE NOW #inspired by rambling to my friend #live laugh love friends that’ll listen to you rant abt ur interests

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jamiesfootball · 8 months

Note

one thing about me is i EXCEL at stupid ideas so! here is a Stupid Ask for your daily dopamine dosage.

post-s3, roy attempts to be A Good Coach and implements team bonding activities such as sunday board game nights. this has the unforeseen consequence of walking into the locker room monday morning to find moe and colin arguing over whether monopoly is True Capitalist Propaganda while sam sneaks jamie $200 from the bank to get out of jail next week.

This. This actually matches up well with a thing I introduce at the end of my post-season fic.

This bit is not from the post-season fic, but there are definitely some plot points I'm cribbing from it. Here have some nonsense:

There were pros and cons to the new wellness initiative in the locker room.

And 'Wellness Initiative' was the phrase they were using. Not 'show-and-tell', no matter how many times Trent suggested it. Although with how many goddamn talent shows Roy had been forced to sit through in the past weeks, the former-journo might have been onto something. For a team full of professional footballers, a lot of them had found the time to sharpen other talents.

The idea had been simple: at least once a week, they were going to sit around as a team, and they'd take turns picking a topic that had nothing to do with football.

'Share-and-tell' Beard had called it, and Roy had growled until Higgins erased the name from the whiteboard.

Books, movies, whatever song they had bleeding through their headphones in the weight room, Roy didn't care. For one hour a week, they were going to...God help him...bond as a team. Share. Communicate. Maintain the resplendent inter-team hivemind bullshit that got them so close to winning the whole damn thing the year before.

Even if Moe's lockpicking demonstration was a disturbing hour of his life that he'd never get back.

But keeping the team functioning as a team was only half of it. Truth of the matter was, it helped the little idiots to have an outlet, something to get them out of their heads for a bit so that Roy didn't end up hugging a crying player in the boot room every other week. Four times had been enough, thanks.

Colin, the second-time boot room offender, had cocked his head like a Welsh corgi and asked, "Would it be all right if I brought my piano?"

"The one that weighs 800 kilos and broke your mother's floorboards?"

The next week Colin showed up with a new electronic keyboard that did not weigh as much as a baby rhino. He spent his hour taking pop song requests.

"Do I have to do a book report?" Jamie asked defensively when his turn came around. The three weeks before his turn had gone to fucking book reports. Even Roy was desperate for a change up. When he reassured Jamie that he only had to talk about books if he'd actually read a book he fucking liked, the relief on the number-one little idiot's face had been immense.

Jamie showed up for his turn with playing cards, a case of poker chips, and a bouquet of roses. The lads spent the hour shouting about cheating, and after a surprisingly aggressive run of bluffs and flushes, Dani Rojas walked away with all the flowers.

While Roy was distracted by Dani, who lamented that now he would need to buy a florero for his flowers, and Jamie, who thought Roy's water bottle would make an excellent vase in the meantime, he completely missed the gleam in Sam's eye as the unassuming player shuffled the card decks back in order.

---

Sam Obisanya was a fucking menace. One day Roy would retain this information.

Most days it was easy to forget. He had a calming effect on Jamie, who was less prone to biting when Sam was around. This made Jamie quieter, which made Isaac and Colin and Dani quieter, which gave the overall impression that things were peaceful in the locker room.

What Roy always forgot to add to the equation was that Jamie had the opposite effect on Sam, who on a normal day would never be found smiling like a post-canary cat while monopoly cards flew around the locker room like projectile weapons.

"I'm not paying you rent again, Cockburn!" Colin shouted.

"You keep landing on my square. It's not my fault you're bad at dice!"

"Bruv, quit throwing shit. It's my turn and I almost got all the railroads."

"The railroads are statistically the worst spaces to own; you know this, yes?"

"War is inevitable in a system where capitalism is dominant," Moe pointed out from where he sat lotus-style on the bench, abstaining from participating in the 'game of the exploiters.'

"Oi, Sam," Jamie whispered, sitting up a bit to tug at the edge of the other player's jumper. "While they're fightin', can you get me out of jail?"

Sam nodded at Dani, who flicked his hand in a way that spoke volumes on how he'd thrashed the team at poker. Two beige notes appeared in Sam's hand, and just as quickly disappeared into the collar of Jamie's shirt.

"Cheers," Jamie thanked him. He settled his head back down into Sam's lap, making himself cozy like a spoiled, cheating cat. "Never was any good at Monopoly."

Sam's smile was angelic, but his eyes glinted in a way that boded horribly for Roy's heart pressure. "Next time I can bring Settlers of Catan. Or Risk."

"Ooh. Risk. Should we team-up?"

Who knew Sam's talent would be putting Roy Kent in an early grave?

#writing snippet #loosely related to #[redacted title] post season three fic #ask box is always open #thank you for indulging me #roy kent #jamie tartt #sam obisanya #afc richmond

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angeltreasure · 6 months

Text

Thinking about this Catholic Church I went to over the weekend near the boarder of Utah.

It’s no secret that church attendance is dying more and more. There’s hardly anyone left at this one. The poor priest we had was advanced in years, you knew he probably had to be out of retirement to help, and struggled to even walk with a back so hunched over. When I saw him struggle, it made me want to cry. He had absolutely no one to help him at the altar, no deacons, no extra priest, no altar boys, no altar girls, just a couple door greeters opposite side of where the altar is. They used pre-recorded music because they had no piano player. Poor Father was too weak to give us Holy Communion himself. He had one of the sisters do it in his place. Normally, he said, a Catholic school would be supported by its church next to it but instead, since Mass attendance has dropped significantly, the school itself is supporting the church. The school itself has sisters that teach 51 students maximum. I don’t know how many families used to attend Mass there, but my heart felt so sad. Father says if we knew anyone that could support them financially, to reach out to them. If you are in a position where you can donate, please see the link below. If you are unable to donate, please don’t feel pressured or obligated to do so, but I ask you to join me in prayer.

Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church

PO Box 1387

455 S. Lake Powell Blvd.

Page, AZ 86040-1387

Website link:

Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church

Facebook link:

Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church

#Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church #Page #Arizona #prayer request #the links don’t have a donate page #but the website has a telephone number #I have a bulletin if you need more information

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axl-rose-lover-1987 · 8 months

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“I’m always here to listen”

Axl Rose x reader

90s Axl

Axls Elton John record spun around on your record player as you cooked spaghetti in the kitchen for you and Axl. Axl was up in bed sleeping though he had stayed up last night trying to write a song when you went up to bed he was hunched over the piano scribbling things in a note book. Axl never really had a good sleep schedule so you let him rest. Bennie and the Jets was playing that was one of Axls favorites you smiled thinking about him. The spaghetti was ready and you decided to go up to your room to see if Axl was awake for dinner or if you should let him sleep and warm it up for him when he woke up. You went upstairs and got to your bedroom door you could hear sobbing. It was hard and heavy and you knew it was Axl. Axl had a lot of trauma from his childhood and he had begun therapy which was good but at the same time bad because it really made him face his past and problems and it brought back bad memories that made him spiral sometimes. You knocked on the door “Axl are you ok?” You said really worried about him. You got no response but could still hear him crying you decided to go in. And there he was sitting on the side of the bed his face in his hands sobbing his hair all in his face and he was crying. It was hard to see him like this but being his wife this wasn’t the first time you’d seen him like this in fact you were probably the only person he was the most open with about his feelings. You sat down on the bed next to him. He didn’t acknowledge you. You put an arm around him and put your head on his shoulder and moved his hair out of his face. “Sweetie what’s wrong?” You asked calmly. Axl sobbed harder and gave you no response. You sat there holding him for a little while. “I’m here for you Axl ” you said stroking his hair. He moved his face away from his hands his eyes were red and puffy his face was wet from tears and snot was running down his nose and his voice that was usually deep and confident was now shaky and desperate. “Just go away y/n I don’t feel like talking” he snapped at you and then going back to crying and hiding his face.

You didn’t want to push his limits if he needed time to cry you needed to let him even though all you wanted to do was hold him and tell him he can talk to you, you wanted to take all his pain away but instead you got up. “Ok” you said walking out of the room and shutting the door. You decided to give him some time and go back and try to talk to him later. You ate your dinner by yourself and played music but it felt empty without Axl you had to admit. Once you finished eating you went back upstairs to check on Axl. When you walked into your room Axl was no longer crying but was now laying on his back looking up at the ceiling. “Hey baby” you said sitting down on the bed. Axl didn’t respond his face was blank and few tears still streamed down his face. You started gently rubbing his knee he didn’t say anything. This went on for a few minutes then you stopped rubbing his leg and sighed. “Don’t stop it feels nice” Axl said his voice still a bit shaky from crying. “Ok” you said going back to doing it Axl then sat up and grabbed your hand. “I had a bad dream that’s all” he said. “I’m sorry babe it’s not real though” you said kissing his cheek. “Yeah it was just one of those were I’m a kid again and you know my dad and then and it’s you know” he said his voice breaking a little and tears rolling down his cheek which you wiped away. “I won’t go into detail but it just feels so real and scary y/n I just why y/n why” Axl pleaded tearing up again. You hugged him tighter wishing you could take the pain away from him“I know Axl but he’s gone now and I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again” you said squeezing his hand. “Just why y/n just why maybe if none of that happened I wouldn’t be so damn messed up” Axl said looking you in the face finally. “I’m proud of you Axl look at all you’ve overcame even if you have that baggage your still amazing and your a great husband to me” you said trying to cheer him up. He smiled finally. “The press doesn’t think so” Axl said. “Fuck the press they just make shit up to sell stuff” you said. Axl laughed. “I don’t care what’s happened to you before Axl I know who you are and I love you and I won’t let anything bad happen ok I’ll always be here for you” you said.

A tear rolled down Axls cheek and he smiled you moved his hair and kissed him. “I’d be dead without you know that right babe” Axl said looking down at your intertwined fingers. You laughed “i know that’s why I’m glad we found each other “ you said smiling. “Me too no one else would deal with my crazy shit” Axl said. “Are you ok now?” you asked. “Yeah for now” Axl said. “Wanna take a shower together?” You asked knowing it would make him feel better. “Of course I do” Axl said scooping you up bridal style and carrying you into the bathroom.

#axl rose #guns n roses #fav band #fanfic #rockstar #axl rose x reader #gnr x reader #gnr fic

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demonicbaby666 · 1 year

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The Melody of Loss

One shot | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Masterlists

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Words: 1.4k+

Warnings: suicidal ideation, malnutrition, depression, grieving, blood.

Summary: Takes place after Emily has ‘passed away’. It’s really just an angsty fic about grieving the loss of Emily.

A/n: I highly recommend you do not read this is you are prone to being easily triggered, its v sad and could be painful to read. But if you do, put on some sad music and get in your feels because this is 10x better with sad music. I recommend you’re someone else (flora cash) and it’s okay (Tom Odell) as that what I was writing it to.

It had been two months since Emily had left your life, you had mourned her each and every day. Slowly pieces of you withered away as happy memories contorted to remnants of a life you could no longer have. Going into work served as only another reminder she truly was gone but you forced yourself to persevere.

That evening things became too much; you lay on the floor begging your brain for reasons to continue. Without Emily everything just seemed empty and there was a hollow part of your heart you feared could never be filled again. Though it was just an expression, having your heartbroken, you felt the organ incessantly cracking. Your chest was heavy and every time you breathed your lungs constricted, demanding to breathe the scent of Emily’s shampoo, the smell of her perfume, her.

The hoodie that adorned your skin no longer smelled like Emily and you would have screamed out if your body allowed you to, alas it didn’t. You were running on minimal energy levels, meniscal daily tasks took their toll on you, nourishing your body was no longer a priority. It helped when you were numb, it wasn’t a cure, but the buzz of emotional pain was more dulled, diluted and less consuming.

Quiet sobs passed through your lips as you lay on the cold floor, you had no idea how long you had been crying, all you knew was you woke up in the same position you were previously in with puffier, redder eyes. You sat upright, too tired to focus on anything other than the blank space that filled the front room, you finally let your eyes settle on the piano by the window. It was now gathering dust, missing its player’s delicate fingers.

A single tear fell down your cheek as you forced yourself up and walked to sit down on the stool. You pressed down on a piano key and a note rang through the room, bouncing off the walls and yet another bittersweet memory resurfaced.

It had been Emily’s idea to buy the piano, you’d planned on starting out small together, renovating this little apartment you’d bought with your dual salaries. One day you got back and there it was. It was vintage and though it took up a large amount of space, you couldn’t deny, the piano was perfectly suited to the vibe of the apartment. The sunlight beamed through the window and cascaded onto it as Emily sat on the velvet stool looking down at the keys. She seemed miles away, plagued by a distant memory.

As you walked up to her, you took in how radiant she looked, a baggy white blouse was loosely hung around her shoulders, accompanied by plain black vest and casual black work slacks. The light hit her perfectly, showing off her slick jawline.

When you brought your hands down to her shoulders, she jolted just slightly but instantly relaxed into the contact. She hummed contently when you moved your hands down to wrap around her waist, nuzzling your head into her neck. The smell of her shampoo and perfume filled your nostrils and your little heart leapt from your chest, much like it always did when you found yourself wrapped around Emily.

Her hands were delicately placed on yours as she laced your finger together, holding you tight against her. The soft skin of her cheek brushed against the side of your face. You looked into chocolate brown eyes and saw the weight that was contained within them. Emily had never been a big talker and from months of experience you knew best how to help her through troubling times without antagonising her.

You placed your lips to her temple for a few seconds, holding her you rocked from side to side on the heels of your feet, swaying the both of you slowly to a fictious melody playing in your head. Puckering your lips, you placed a soft kiss to her porcelain skin before breaking away for a split second to sit next to her on the stool.

Shifting the weight of your body and head, you leaned into Emily. “Play me something?”

She smiled down at you for a few fleeting moments before setting her gaze on the piano, elegantly bringing her fingers to the keys. With the lightest of touches on each key and the pedal moving under her foot now and then to elongate specific notes, Emily did as exactly you asked. When she finally finished playing you peered up at your musician to find her eyes were glazed over, salty tears were brimming over her waterline as she once again looked into the distance.

Broken was your heart as you reached up to hold this strong-willed woman’s face between the palms of your hands. Emily wore sorrowful smile, looking deep into your eyes searching for answers to a question you hadn’t yet been graced with. A single tear spilled from her eyes and made its journey to your thumb so you could brush it away.

“I knew a little boy; I taught him how to play.” From the heartache the words brought her you knew whatever had happened to the boy in question wasn’t an easy topic to breach. Of course, later you learnt who he was, how and why he meant so much to Emily.

She adverted her eyes, looking around the small apartment, before meeting your gaze once again. Her hands homed in on your waist, gradually bringing your bodies closer. You vision went black as you closed your eyes and let her nimble lips grace yours with their presence. A slow rhythm was set as your lips danced together, just as they had time and time before. Held within the kiss was something new, you tasted the question that lay dormant within Emily, and you slowly pulled your lips away.

Not wanting to stray too far away you leaned your head forward to touch Emily’s, relishing in the feel of her warm breath caressing your lips.

“I want a family with you,” she breathed out, pulling back to study your expression. Melancholy tears were transformed into those of delight as she watched the corner of your lips twitch.

“There is nothing in this world that I want more than just that Emily Prentiss.” Her face became blurry, you only registered you too were crying when the kiss that you shared moments later grew wet.

With both hands you slammed the piano cover down, startling yourself when a loud thud echoed through the room that was once filled with the sweet sound of piano chords. The ghost of Emily was felt next to you on the stool and your stomach churned when you remembered just how close you once had her. How close you were to a future together, the engagement ring remained on your finger, though it had become loose, many of times it had almost fallen off, as if telling you to let go.

Your body gave up on you and you fell against the piano, darkness circled around you, it was engulfing you, whispering and coaxing you to give in, to join Emily. It was unrelenting, sucking you in and you felt yourself folding over and over. A whirlwind of grieve was stirring mayhem in your head and you held no more control over your emotions as screams of pure agony worked their way up from your gut, passing your dry throat and exiting your chapped lips.

Anger began to bubble within your veins, questions of how she could ever leave you all alone rung through you mind and you grabbed the only thing within your reach, throwing it as far your weak-willed arms would allow.

“NO!” you screamed, running over to the broken shards of glass dispersed across the floor. The smell of Emily filled the whole room as her perfume circulated the air around you. “No, no, no.” You sobbed, picking up pieces of glass, not caring as red beads of blood formed on your fingers. You threw your head back looking up at the ceiling, pleading to any higher being to take this all away, to bring your fiancé back, to let you feel her arms around you again, “Please no.” you screamed out. Tears continuously trickling down your face, the acidity burning a red lined path down from your eyes to your chin.

Your body shook from the pain that raked through you; you felt the emotions seep from every inch of you. Just as you though you would never know peace again, hands wrapped around you and the world calmed just a little bit.

“She’s gone.” The words came out cracked and almost inaudible through all the crying. But you knew JJ heard when she held you the slightest bit tighter. You continued to cry, this time with the security of knowing you weren’t alone in all of this.

“I-I’m so sorry.” JJ held you as she herself began to cry, only later would you understand just why her tears had been fuelled by guilt and not grief.

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nr1chaedickrider · 7 months

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imagine you’re out shopping with twice, teasing dom!dahyun throughout the day, till she’s had enough and leaves the mall early to take you home.

she bends you over her lap and spanks you, hard.

“that’s what you get for being a bratty girl”

she’d overstimulate you, making you cum so many times that you’ve lost count, she’d get so wet from seeing you cry from cumming too much :(

anon youre so?????? omg???

dahyun poking her cheek with her tongue while you tease her all day <333 "she is tired, we will go home" she said quickly to the other members while dragging you with her!!!

and the spanking will go on forever, which makes you even hornier... her fingers so deep in you while she fucks you for hours... her stamina is crazy but no wonder she is a piano player...

i need her so bad omg???

#feeling silly #wlw #twice imagines #twice smut #dahyun x reader #dahyun #dahyun smut

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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 10 months

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ARCTIC MONKEYS 25/06/23

okay now that i've had some time to (slightly) emotionally and physically recover from yesterday, i need to flail about the highlights:

1) meeting one of my absolute favourite humans who i would never have got to know if it hadn't been for this little corner of tumblr - and then getting to share the excitement/nerves/elation/exhaustion rollercoaster of seeing am with them was just - there aren't even words for it. so special 💖

2) learning how to navigate rain ponchos

3) impulse buying too much merch (but also not regretting it. the glasgow tour poster is going to be the first thing going on my wall in my new flat)

4) the mirrorball starting to twirl just before they all came onstage and sending the colours of the afternoon sun everywhere

5) the sheer rush of the moment they all walked onstage together (also that was pretty much the only time i got to glimpse nick and matt at all 💔 from where i was standing i could mostly only see alex and jamie)

6) seeing alex a few metres away in real life after months of looking at his beautiful, dorky little expressions in photos/videos was surreal in the best possible way- there's just something so different about the way you get a sense of someone's energy when you're in the same space with them?? and as someone who's endlessly interested in people, i'm fascinated by how alex simultaneously gives off really reserved, self-contained vibes at the same time as being such a dynamic and captivating performer - like he’s so good at tapping into emotions without letting them be a door into how he’s actually feeling (if that makes any sense, my post-gig brain is not very articulate) i guess that all very much makes sense with all the stuff he's said about personas/performing, but it was still so interesting to get to really feel that sense of his presence in live time. he's definitely very much in control but in a very understated kind of way

7) a bunch of birds circling overhead on one side of the crowd, alex seeing them and dramatically declaring 'release the rest of the birds'

8) me and the lovely human i went with turning to each other with expressions of sheer joy when the opening bars of crying lightning were played (and don't sit down. and four stars. and arabella. and - you get the picture. getting to share the sheer delight of your favourite songs being played is just the loveliest feeling 💗)

9) alex doing a quirky little 'ha ha' laugh in the middle of body paint

10) mirrorball coinciding with the most beautiful pink dusk and half moon just above the stage, and getting to witness alex’s piano playing at the start of it

11) body paint. just. body paint. i think my soul left my body.

12) how much energy and enthusiasm alex seemed to have throughout the set - especially after the last week or so it was just the loveliest thing to see him messing about and having fun. and his voice sounded SO good. how anyone manages to sing like that (let alone sound like that less than a week after cancelling shows due to laryngitis) is an absolute mystery to me

13) alex's theatrical hand gestures for crying lightning (the one for gobstopper was a particular favourite)

14) hearing 505 when dusk has just fallen and you can see the smudged moon behind the deep indigo clouds is the only way anyone should ever hear 505

15) alex and matt having a giggle about something mid set

16) obviously i was aware of how stupidly talented they all are - but there's something about seeing it unfold in front of you in real time that makes it really hit you. the sound wasn't great where i was for some of the time so i don't feel like i got the best audio sense of everything, but i was just so struck in particular by matt on the drums and also alex with his guitar playing. i feel like when i'm just listening to their records i'm so busy listening to alex's voice that i forget how incredible a guitar player he is and - wow. just. yeah. it honestly took my breath away.

17) getting the distinct impression that it provides alex with a sense of amusement to deliberately do that thing where he sings the lyrics at slightly different speeds to trip the crowd up

18) even though i ended up being in significant pain for the second half of the set and had to go find somewhere a little further back where i could lean against the railings (chronic pain conditions and standing for 6+ hours apparently isn't the best mix), nothing could dull how magical it was hearing all the tracks from the car that they played closer to the end. standing there in the dusk and feeling so much about everything is something i'll never forget. it truly brought home to me so poignantly everything about why am's music means so much to me and how much love i have for them 💜

19) being in the exact line of direction alex blew kisses to at the end

20) the hazy post-gig walking in the dark under lit up green trees with the lovely human i went with and our conversations about am and creativity and the courage of sharing music 💖

#i'm honestly still processing the fact that it really happened #it was amazing #though i'm trying not to be frustrated with myself for my chronic pain kicking in when they were on #i had a couple of songs where i was like 'why can't i just enjoy this like a normal person'#but then the music took over and brought me back to myself #so yes #i wish i'd been feeling amazing for all of it #but it was still amazing even if i wasn't feeling amazing for every second of it #and i'm so so happy i went and got to share it with such an amazing human #💜#i’ve been swinging between riding a high and post gig blues all day so forgive me if any of this is incoherent #also #i know these photos are blurry as hell but i’d still appreciate it if people don’t repost them without my permission #arctic monkeys #alex turner #matt helders #jamie cook #nick o'malley #am glasgow 2023 #lulu posts

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delcakoo · 2 years

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the keys to my heart ₊˚♪⊹ y.jw

requested for my 1k event!

SUMMARY ! with a big recital coming up, you’re beginning to doubt your abilities and passion for the instrument you love. luckily, your favorite dimpled boy is almost home and ready to help in all the ways he knows how to.

PAIRING ! jungwon x pianist!fem!reader

WC ! 1.5k

GENRE ! est. relationship, fluff n’ comfort

WARNINGS ! none. just playing the piano in jungwon’s lap while he sings polaroid love in your ear (i’m crying)

a/n: thank you again for the req dear, this def isn’t my best work but i hope it’s alright T-T for all my instrument players out there, you have such a beautiful gift <3 stay strong!

tick. tick. tick. the never ending metronome placed atop your piano was beginning to get on your very last nerve. although, you were sure any other person would go just as insane after hearing the repetitive clicking for a wonderful four hours straight.

now, it wasn’t your will that drove you to sit in front of the instrument for this long— definitely not. it was all due to the big recital being held next week, in which you’d be performing in front of hundreds of other music majors and professionals who would be giving you a score all based on how you played one, singular song.

just the thought of playing in front of so many people while also being scored made your fingers tremble, but it wasn’t like you had a choice in this. it was your decision to become a music major, and while it was usually a decent experience, there were countless struggles and downsides not just physically, but mentally as well.

through the reflection of your piano, you can barely make out your dishevelled appearance. you reach up from the piano stool to put the metronome’s voice to an end with a frustrated sigh, running your fingers through your hair in a desperate attempt to look even half sane.

maybe i’ve taken the wrong path. why did i think being a music major would get me anywhere when my heart starts racing at even the thought of performing in front of others? it’s been four hours, yet i still haven’t perfected this song from start to finish.

“geez, i’m pathetic.” you grit your teeth, resting your elbows down on the piano keys and ignoring the mocking sound of the instrument being strung together from the contact.

for a while, you just stay like that, continuing to think negatively before you could make any effort to stop yourself. a few tears try to fall along the way, but you stubbornly wipe them off before they get the chance to escape.

you don’t know how long it’s been, but eventually the sound of a key carefully jingling at the front door makes you lift your head. a familiar boy with raven hair tiptoes through the doorway, silently kicking off his shoes and unzipping his black woolly coat. you recognise the dimple pressed into his cheek anywhere, a small smile creeping up your face just from watching your boyfriend unwind after a long night of dance practise.

it was so calming, so peaceful to see jungwon from this point of view. despite just finishing up hours of exhausting choreography, he looked ethereal with a few curly bangs stuck to his forehead, a hint of under eye bags only making his boba eyes look larger.

right as jungwon finishes hanging up his jacket by the door, your elbow subconsciously slides over to the next untouched key of the piano, making an alarmingly loud note spring from the instrument. you flinch in surprise, similar to your boyfriend who had practically jumped in the air like a cat at the sound.

his bangs fly from his face due to how fast he looks to your direction, reaching a hand up to his chest in relief once he sees your figure at the piano. “wah, that was like a horror movie,” jungwon breathes, giggling faintly, “jagiya, what are you doing there? it’s past midnight.”

your smile fades slightly at the reminder of what you’ve been doing for the past four hours, refusing to meet the boy’s eyes as he trudged over to you.

even with his smiley exterior, it’s easy to tell how tired jungwon is; his body screams for a break in the way his posture sludges, and how his feet drag against the floor wearily. nonetheless, he shows his best self for you, cheerfully nudging you over to make room for himself on the stool.

you speak up nervously, avoiding the question just as your boyfriend pulls you up and into his lap. “won, we should go sleep. you need to rest.”

“oh, do i now?” jungwon fires back, resting his chin on your shoulder to inspect the sheet of music on the instrument’s shelf. “but you don’t, miss piano player at nearly one in the morning?”

you lick your lips, leaning your head to rest on top of his. jungwon had so much on his plate at every point of the day. being the leader of his group was fatiguing to say the least, and placing your stress onto him made you feel sick with guilt every time.

yet, not one day went by where he didn’t reassure you that he didn’t mind — that if anything, he wanted to know everything you were worried about, no matter how deep or upsetting it may be.

silently, the boy inspects your face and body language, rubbing the sides of your waist with utter care and gentleness. “hey,” he murmurs. you hum in response, busy staring off at the ceiling with a slight pout. “y/n, talk to me. why are you not in bed?”

you gulp, adjusting your position in his lap. eventually, you knew he’d find a way to persuade you into telling him, you might as well be honest. “i was practising for my recital.”

jungwon pauses his rubbing on your sides, brows furrowing. “isn’t that next week?” you simply nod, making his face drop further. “then you have lots of time, jagi. and if you don’t get enough sleep, you’re never going to be able to learn it properly.”

at that, you chew your lip anxiously. “i know, i know- it’s just..” you look at the boy for a split second, watching him nod in gesture for you to continue. “i’m.. i’m so scared. you know how i get playing in front of others— i freak out, and this time it’s a big performance y’know? i-i just wanna do good.”

jungwon quickly scoops up your hand in his own, rubbing your knuckles with a kiss to your cheek. “you do know that i’m gonna be there cheering you on right? i already got front row tickets. oh and — i tried to stop them, but they wouldn’t give it up so — the rest of the members are coming too.” you smile brightly at the thought of your boyfriend and his bandmates all coming to watch you, giggling quietly.

when jungwon notices your laughter, he grins proudly before continuing. “there’s no need to be scared jagi, i know you’re going to do amazing with how hard you’re always working. just try to imagine how you practise in front of me here at home. focus only on the keys in front of you, pretend it’s just us two in that recital room.”

at his comforting advice, you nod. you may not be the best at showing your appreciation, but hopefully jungwon gets the message from the way you gently turn over to push your lips to his.

he hums in approval, pleasantly hugging you closer and pushing his cheek further into the nook your palm. the angle is a bit uncomfortable, but neither of you seem to mind at all, enjoying the calming sounds of each others exhales.

“thank you, love,” you whisper once he pulls away, pressing your finger into the dip of his dimple with a smile. his eyes turn into happy crescents at your words, leaning in for another peck.

before he can say another word, jungwon quirks a brow as you abruptly flip around so your back is to his chest, suddenly placing your fingers onto the piano keys. “babe,” he gulps, “i love hearing you play, i really do, but it’s-“

“shush, i forgot to show you something. i learned another song while taking a break from practise,” you inform, a grin forming as you begin playing the first few chords.

your boyfriend catches on to the song immediately, gasping as you continue moving your fingers up and down the instrument with passion. “you learned our song!?” he exclaims excitedly, the thought of going to bed completely forgotten. you glance back to meet his love struck gaze, laughing at his dumbfounded expression.

“yup, the chords weren’t very hard.” the both of you seem to have forgotten what time it is, much too busy having a mini concert for yourselves.

jungwon quickly began singing along while you played, his angelic voice blessing your ears from behind. “it’s like a polaroid love, 사랑 촌스런 그 감정, 근데 내 가슴이 뛰어 왜 나 이래 나~”

by the end of the night, you found yourself beaming in jungwon’s arms. his eyes sparkled beautifully while he sang right by your ear, squeezing your waist tighter as you conducted your instrument.

suddenly, the thought of your upcoming recital didn’t seem bad anymore, for as long as you had jungwon cheering you on, you were sure you could sit at the piano for the rest of your life.

if you enjoyed, reblogging and commenting is always very appreciated!

perm taglist: @duolingofanaccount @strawberry-sunset-skies @scented-morker @koshinene @boowoowho @sultrybaby @yunjinlvrr @lov3niki @yujiecho @monstaxdirtywonk

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