#even if I'm making something because i want to i still am only making it because i need to present it to teacher to get a grade to pass
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A few years ago I used to be that annoying "transmasc lesbians don't exist, this shit is harmful and invalidates both transmascs and lesbians" person, and now I'M the transmasc lesbian. Seems like the tables have turned, huh?
I've spent so many months, years, trying so hard to fit into these categories that I saw so many people talk about as if it were the definitive truth, and this shallow and simplistic vision seems to be gaining a lot of attention and traction here in Brazil. Isn't it ironic to free yourself from cisnormativity and heteronormativity and all these binary boxes to find yourself again trying to fit into other boxes and norms that don't actually describe your experience correctly? Because your experience with gender is so chaotic and confusing (as expected of a nonbinary identity, and even more so if you're neurodivergent too) that there's no simple way to describe it. Then when you find out what describes this, people say you can't identify yourself that way because two or more of your identities are "incompatible". I see people treating non-binarity as if it were an exact science, as if it were math, as if it were something simple and logical, as it is precisely the escape from what has been established in our society as the only two possible options, generating countless identities within a gray area outside this black and white vision, so of course it's something complex, abstract and subjective.
EDIT:
One of my reasons for thinking this way was that I ignored that the transgender experience and the cisgender experience aren't and will never be equivalent. It's obvious that a cis man can't be a lesbian, but the same doesn't go for transmasc people, and I thought that admitting that was the same as being transphobic, denying the masculinity of transmascs, denying their male identity. I already had a debate on Twitter because people didn't want to admit that trans men and transmasc people in general can suffer misogyny and male chauvinism (as society can still see and treat us as women) because they also saw it as the same as saying transmasc people are women.
The identity of trans people is a very complex experience that involves a series of factors that cis people will never experience. We cannot equate the trans experience with the cis experience.
I thought identifying as a butch lesbian was enough to describe my masculinity, but I realized that I felt like it didn't encompass everything I felt, I still felt like something was missing. Preventing and depriving myself of identifying with more explicit masculine identities was actually making me feel bad and dysphoric. So yeah, I've been avoiding identifying with male-aligned identities because I thought that would mean having to stop identifying as a lesbian, and I didn't want that, and I don't really feel like calling myself straight makes any sense.
I have a text in Portuguese talking about my experience as a butch lesbian, and I feel that now it also serves to describe my experience as a nonbinary transmasc (the part where I talk about not identifying with "traditional masculinity", but with a "different type", like "soft masculinity", is directly related to the fact that, in addition to being nonbinary, I don't identify as a man, I don't feel comfortable with the term "man", but rather with "boy"). I spent a few months wondering whether I was libramasculine or boyflux, and I ended up deciding that if I can't identify which one I am, maybe it makes more sense to just adopt both identities, maybe I am both then! I'm tired of trying to fit into supposed rules about being nonbinary. This is exactly how non-binarity shouldn't be. I'm supposed to feel free, not trapped again. My identity is my identity and that's nobody's business.
#lesbian#transmasc#butch#butch positivity#butch lesbian#sexuality#gender#gender identity#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lesbianity#trans#nb#enby#gender noncomformity#gender nonconforming#desfem#non binary#nonbinary#masculinity#gnc#transgender#libramasculine#boyflux#nonbinary boy#nonbinary butch#enboy
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passenger princess || mackenzie arnold x reader ||
sometimes, you wish that mackenzie would let you drive.
"come on, we're gonna be late!" you shouted at mackenzie. the two of you both had media to do, and mackenzie had taken all morning getting ready. you thought that she looked absolutely stunning, but you didn't want to get yelled at for missing your required media.
"your chariot awaits," mackenzie said as she opened the passenger's side door for you.
"mac, babe, i love you, but i think that i should drive today," you tried to tell her. it was really no use because mackenzie obviously didn't want to listen. she always got like this whenever you suggested driving the two of you somewhere.
you had grown up in the city, and while mackenzie had been there for a good amount of time, she wasn't a local. mackenzie didn't know all of the shortcuts and side roads that would cut your travel time down by a third. and so, the two of you truged into the training facilities about 10 minutes late.
"sorry boss, traffic was horrible." mackenzie was quick to diffuse your coach and the media team's ire towards the two of you. they didn't seem too annoyed with mackenzie, but that same courtesy wasn't extended towards you. mac was their world class goalkeeper, and you were just another midfielder that they had gotten cheap. you had come up with a team that had come up during a relegation swap. whenever they went right back down the next season, you had joined west ham instead.
"we could have gotten here sooner if someone would have let me drive," you said. a few of your teammates started snickering behind you, as did mackenzie. you turned to glare at all of them, but the look that you sent your girlfriend was a bit more hurt.
"don't take it personally babe, but you're just not the driving type. you look too pretty in my passenger's seat." mackenzie was trying to be sweet, but it didn't work. she placed her fingers underneath your chin to tilt it up and kiss you, but you turned your face at the last second. a chorus of 'ooo's rang out from your teammates as you stormed out of the locker room.
the media bit was a little intense after that. mackenzie had only been joking, and her attempt at an apology had been brushed off. she didn't mean to upset you. driving wasn't something that she thought would be such a big deal for the two of you. she just liked doing things for you, and since you were normally very independent, this was one of the few things she had the opportunity to even attempt.
"are you ready to go back home?" mackenzie asked as the two of you made your way towards the parking lot.
"i'm not going home with you tonight," you told her. mackenzie's face fell immediately at the news. you hadn't been back to your apartment in two months, having stayed at mackenzie's. your lease was going to be up soon, and your roommate was in talks with a new transfer about moving in. however, you still had a couple of weeks before that happened.
"no!" mackenzie shouted. you winced at the loudness in such a close proximity. mackenzie's face softened a bit as she grabbed you by the arm and tugged you towards the car. "you don't live there, you live with me. we always go home together, you know this. did what i say really upset you this much?"
"it's not just the passenger princess jokes, mac. it's also not just you. i don't want all the girls and the staff to think that i can't do anything for myself. you don't hear all the jokes and comments. i swear that some of them think i can't do anything for myself." mackenzie's face fell as she saw how genuinely worked up you were getting over this. it went a lot further than she had known, and suddenly, mackenzie felt absolutely terrible that you'd been holding in these feelings for so long by yourself.
"hey, (y/n), look at me." mackenzie grabbed your face and leaned in close enough for you to feel her breath against your cheek. "i am sorry for making you feel bad. i am sorry for letting things get so out of hand. i know that you're independent. hell, you do practically everything for me, and driving you around, it feels like the only thing i can offer to help you out. if you want to drive us back, you can, just please come home with me. i don't want to spend a single night without you if i don't have to."
"mac, baby?"
"yeah?" mackenzie seemed scared, as if you were going to tell her that you still wanted to go back to your own apartment. a night in with mackenzie, even whenever you were mad at her, was better than a night in with your roommate any day.
"take me home," you told her. mackenzie's shoulders sagged down a little with relief. you pressed a quick kiss to her lips and threaded your fingers with hers. the two of you walked through the parking lot together towards mackenzie's car. she got the door for you, absolutely beaming when you kissed her cheek in thanks. "can we stop by tesco's on the way home?"
"of course. i'll take you anywhere you want to go." mackenzie grabbed onto your hand and kissed the back of it. you let out a little giggle and settled back into your seat. there wasn't any tension in the car, which you were beyond grateful for.
mackenzie pushed the cart for you in the store, following as you walked around picking out seemingly random things. some of it was groceries that you had noticed earlier needed to be replenished, but quite a bit of the things you were buying weren't things that you normally bought at all. mackenzie didn't bring it up, assuming that it was for some sort of surprise at home.
"can i get some assistance from my favorite sous chef?" you asked mackenzie. she looked up from the couch to see you standing in the entryway of the kitchen holding an apron that you had bought her as a joke. mackenzie could cook, but she rarely did outside of using the grill every other weekend during the summer months.
"i don't know what you're making," mackenzie told you. you brushed it off and helped her into the apron. you gave very clear directions and within the hour, you had a homemade sauce simmering for a spaghetti night.
"how does it taste?" you watched nervously as mackenzie tasted a bit of the sauce.
"if football doesn't work out, you should open a restaurant," mackenzie told you. you moved to press a kiss to her cheek as thanks, unsurprised when mackenzie turned so your lips landed on hers. her hands grabbed at your waist, squeezing gently as she deepened the kiss. "better yet, i'll keep you on as my personal chef. and i can be your chauffeur if you'd like."
"sounds good to me. now, go set the table, the food is almost ready." you gave mackenzie a gentle shove away from you. mackenzie blew you a kiss as she carried the plates and silverware out to the dining room table. mackenzie sat excitedly at the table when you got out there, right next to the place that she set for you. she spent the whole meal practically just staring at you, often to the point of spilling a bit of her sauce on herself every other bite. it was ridiculous, but another reminder of why it was so easy to love mackenzie sometimes.
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Can I request Jing Yuan, Dan Heng and Sundy with an anxious!cozy!s/o who secretly terrifyingly observant and calculating? ((👁-👁) level ie. looking deep into your soul level observant.)
At times it slips (ex. Admitting to being obsessed with complex puzzles that most people can't even fathom or subtly tipping them about someone's intention before the boys pick up on it) reader panics a bit.
Reader is conflicted because on onehand, they know whats going on and they wont get tricked easily BUT they hate how they know too much at times. Thus fuels their anxiety.
They either have to isolate themselves for a while or wear cozy oversized garmets as comfort (aka all the time)
Characters: Jing Yuan, Dan Heng, & Sunday x Gender-neutral reader
Synopsis: with anxious and cozy reader
Warnings: Fluff and spelling mistakes,
𝒥𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒴𝓊𝒶𝓃
Over time he’s picked up more details on your behaviour, you're so observant to the point you don’t realize that your face says what you're thinking. Just in the middle of a conversation with you, he can see how you look around taking in everything around as if you were a cute detective.
He doesn’t mind that you want to be alone or that you just want to sit in silence, seeing You'll get overloaded and get a headache. He does worry you end up staying up late and being lost in thoughts, forgetting that it’s already 3:00 am. (He might just grab you, cover your eyes and force you to bed to get a good night's sleep).
He finds your cute oversized clothes then formal (because you like to look so comfortable in them), your hair is all messy, your tired voice, sometimes the shirt is off one of your shoulders because it is way too oversized for you but it’s still comfortable.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“What might my dear be thinking about instead of sleeping?”
You don’t even realize that he’s there until he wraps his arm around you and pulls you against his side. “I can’t sleep, I'm thinking about something.” You turn towards him and find him already looking at you with a look that’s both gentle and tender.
You feel like something is wrong, squinting your eyes at him—you just have that weird gut feeling—looking around his body to find ‘something’ you are not sure what it is until you look at his shoulder—it looks way too stiff than usual, your hand grabbing his shoulder a bit roughly only to hear him let out a small groan.
“Did you get hurt?” You ask softly, letting go of the shoulder in an instant, looking at him worriedly, “Can't let anything escape your gaze?” He smiles slightly though, leaning forward and kissing the side of your head lightly before you cover his mouth with your hand, frowning on your face.
“Are you sure you’re fine?” You ask again, this time more serious than earlier. He shakes his head and kisses your hand once before removing it from his mouth. “I promise that I’m alright.” He says in a soft voice, caressing your cheek. This makes you look away shyly, the warmth spreading across your cheeks.
“it’s time for you to go to bed.” “I don’t need you telling me that-“ he grabs you and pulls you close into him, shoving your face in his chest so you couldn’t see anything “Sleep.”
𝒟𝒶𝓃 𝐻𝑒𝓃𝑔
He’s amazed by how you still remember the small details in a conversation that even he can’t remember. He thought at first you were like him, observant, and quiet but you surpassed and beyond everything you expected from him.
You spend most of your time in his room and not your own, not that he doesn’t mind at all but just looking over from his books to see you looking around his room trying to see small details while messing with a complicated puzzle in your hands.
He takes you away to calm you down when you’re in a conversation to hear what you want to say—that face you had, eyes wide and slightly nervous while looking at your nails and back at the person. (he got you out of that conversation so quickly)
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Looking down on your puzzle with your brain bustling with ideas and taking notes of small details around his room that usually aren't noticed (and you might also be watching him read one of his books and might have been staring for too long that you locked eyes by accident and looked away). Quickly shifting the pieces of the puzzle when you get caught yet neither of you say anything, that doesn't stop you from gazing at him from the top of your eye.
"Dan Heng why are you reading that book when you already finished it?" you asked softly/ "It's a well-written book with good character development and story building." "Is it that good that I want to read for the 3rd time?" he responded while looking up from his book to look at you. "you just said it was only the 3rd time so I'd assume it is still good enough to read again."
"But Dan Heng don't you ever want to read new things?." you understand everything and why people do it but you're just curious about what a person thinks of what they're doing and the reasons for their actions. He doesn't mind asking him questions and he'll answer each one with the best of his abilities.
“Sometimes people like to reread things because they don’t want something to end.”
“Oh is that what you're doing?—oddly enough you always are in that spot specifically while reading that same book.” You say before murmuring another part. “You always remember everything don’t you.”
𝒮𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓎
You’re just like him. He doesn’t expect anything less from his soulmate, it’s as if you were hand-made for each other. Your mind is so calculating and observant, the dream you are. He’ll adore you, he’ll tease you, smile with you, he’ll experience everything with you.
He raves about the small cute glances you do when you think he doesn’t notice or when you take your eyes off from whatever you might be doing just to look at him working. He can feel your loving gaze before you go back to whatever you might be doing. (He might just confront you and see your embarrassed expression)
Don’t worry about anything, not even the person you’re warning him about, he’s already dealt with long before you got the chance to tell him.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Sunday aren’t you worried?”
You don’t understand how he’s never worried about anything, just so calm even when you're alone with each other. “what would I be worried about my dear?” you feel him taking into your heart, arms around your shoulder, your back pressed against his chest.
“Didn’t you see how suspicious they were acting?” you say with hesitation in your tone, your fingers tightening onto the fabric of his shirt. you feel him nod as a response from behind you.
“I know something’s up, I feel it in my gut…I just wanted to warn you”. you mumble the last sentence, turning to face him, he looks down, and his hand goes to the side of your cheek already making you feel comfortable.
“No need to worry yourself over me,” he leans down and kisses you on the cheek, smiling sweetly at you, a warm feeling spreads through your chest.
“I've already dealt with everything.”
if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!
#✧*:･ﾟ✧:･ Yurinna's Writing :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you#hsr jing yuan#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x you#honkai star rail x reader#star rail#star rail x reader#hsr x you#hsr x reader#Dan Heng x reader#hsr dan heng x reader#star rail x you#sunday hsr#sunday x reader#sunday x you
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Meowdy Saint! ^^ lolol hello hello o/ hope you are doing good!!
So this masterpiece of a game has been invading my mind with ZERO chill lately which directly translated to me coming up with a TON of questions orz I really didn't realize how many I ended up compiling lol
If you don't feel like answering this many please feel absolutely free to ignore this ask or only answer the ones you like the most, the last thing I want is for you to feel overwhelmed! ^^
ALRIGHT LET'S-A GO
-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™?
-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰
-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol
-does he know how to give massages? :00
-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao
-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀
-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name?
(I am not sure if this⬇️ questions falls under character deaths, if it does I really apologize and absolutely feel free to ignore it ^^)
-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl)
-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈
-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100%
Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao
ALRIGHT THATS ALL IM SO SORRY FOR ASKING SO MUCH THE REN BRAINROT HOURS ARE SO REAL IM LOSING BRAINCELLS orz Remember to take care of yourself drink water and take breaks!! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧
(Also sorry if some phrases don't make sense, english isn't my first language as I am 🤌 lolol)
✦゜ANSWERED: Under da cut because this got long >:3
-do Rendacted's memories remain intact when he resets the day or do his wipe too with everyone else's? Also is there an in-universe answer for why he has these glitchy powers or is he just Built Different™?
Ren's memories remain intact!! I mean... He remembers each time you get a bad end and sometimes says something different... >:3 There is also an in-universe reason as to why he has his abilities — I won't spoil anything, but his real name (along with River's and one other character) have a reeeeally big tell. But what this tell is is for me to know and you to find out >:3
-if angel made it VERY clear that they would be mad asf and prolly even start hating and leave Ren/[REDACTED] if he were to hurt their friends(or killing people bc this man needs to chill fr), would he listen to them? Bc I know that if he touches Violet, Elanor, Kiara or god forbid Moth I'm personally deleting his kneecaps 🥰
Ren (and by extension [REDACTED]) knows not to harm anyone if he knows you won't like it — and even then — he won't actively show that murderous side of him in the first place. To Angel, Ren is just a timid, normal guy.
-since it seems to me that Ren/[REDACTED] is only kinda meh at cooking I was wondering if he actually made the not burnt pancakes in day 3 or if he had some store bought ones that he passed off as his own lol
Ren is actually good at cooking, he's just a bit out of touch since he doesn't normally cook for himself! It's normally microwave meals or takeout for him... ^^; And yes, Ren did burn and burn the pancakes in Day 3 — he was distracted by something on his phone :3
Bonus cut Day 3 content: I took out the scene where Ren started to profusely apologise for burning the pancake because he often had to cook when he was younger. Given the dynamic of his family and the environment he grew up in, Ren didn't have much room to make mistakes ;n; I cut this scene out because I felt bad ksgskd So y'all get to have flustered, happy Ren instead!!
-does he know how to give massages? :00
If that was one of Angel's interests or desires, then sure!! ^^
-during day 1, how did Ren come up with a book on the local flora?? It seems like such a random topic to pick when put on the spot without already having a genuine interest in it lmao
Someone else likes flora too, and it sure would be funny if Ren (eventually) starts to mimic certain traits and interests of the person you have the highest affinity/relationship points with in order to make himself look more appealing… >:3c
-if I understood correctly Maple should be Jae's dog right?? Did you have a specific breed or age in mind when creating her? I got curious because in my head she automatically popped up as a young australian shepherd to match with Jae's hyperactive dumbass energy lol❀⸜(˶´ ˘ `˶)⸝❀
It was mentioned in Jae's lore post (I'll link it here once I find it), but Maple is a Labrador! (Leon would be Jae's Australian Shepherd hehe) In my mind, Maple is only 2 or 3 years old, but that wouldn't really fit the official timeframe... ^^; Jae adopted Maple during high school so he wouldn't feel lonely at home, and it's been over 6+ years since then.... hgdshjg
-staying on the dog topic lol, in day 1 when angel gets up from the couch to get Ren the inflatable mattress(iirc) and he follows right behind them i immediately thought he acted like a puppy lmao. So would he mind being called 'puppy' as a pet name?
Angel affectionately calls Ren a puppy during the scene in Day 1 where they meet up after work, so that nickname definitely could work!
-from an ask from last year it seems [REDACTED] would ultimately kill angel if there was ultimately not way to enter in their life?? Gotta say I was very taken aback by this, would this still be the case after a year of building more to his character? (Ok I went back to check the ask again but I can't for the life of me find it anymore maybe I dreamt it up idk😭😭 im really sorry if that is the case jdkslajdl)
aaa I think you might be mistaking that ask for something else? ;v; [REDACTED] would NEVER harm Angel in any capacity, and they're a very patient person. Even if it took decades for Angel to fall in love with him, they'll wait.
-uuhh I know there is already a lot in this ask(im seriously sorry orz), but I was wondering if we will eventually get an SFW alphabet for Ren/[REDACTED] for the folks who don't care about the nasty 👉👈
You're fine!! And I'm open to doing that! I'll add it to my list hehe
-THIS IS THE LAST THING I PROMISE 👹 will there be a guide to get all the endings? I'm not sure if there is one already and in that case I missed it 100%
I've shared a spreadsheet that lists all the available choices, the points you earn from each of them, and the endings you can get — however it's only available on Discord and I don't really want to share it outside of the server and potentially put it in the hands of minors. Sorry!!
Also I find it ironic how the fandom is trying to find out every single aspect of Ren/[REDACTED]'s character the same way he must do with angel lmao
Hehe >:3 There's a loooot of lore that won't ever be mentioned in the game (since it doesn't seem fitting/I don't see a reason to), so I'm happy to provide it here!
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I have a lot of lovely asks and messages from people that I'm not able to respond to yet, but I just want to genuinely thank all of you for it ❤️ I was worried I was letting people down, but I'm so very thankful for everyone that reassured me otherwise. I will respond to you all. I'm not ignoring any of you, I promise.
Now onto something more serious. This is tagged as qsmp neg because I'm about to get really really angry with a certain part of this fandom.
Since Maxo unofficially confirmed qsmp is ending after the event, I've seen so many posts and reblogs along the lines of "the people upset because they had hope are in denial/ delusional/ crazy" or "the people thinking qsmp wasnt dead brought this upon themselves" which, basically, people are making fun of those who've had hope that the server will server. Now, don't get me wrong, we aren't exactly logical by having hope, and you're nit in the wrong for having a joke about people being "in denial" about the server closing.
That being said, the people blogging this only started doing it when Maxo unofficially confirmed its closure. So, technically there was still a small part of you that had hope, too, huh?
Not to mention, we are not in thr wrong for having hope or wanting to hold onto something that brought us so much joy, love, passion and creativity this past year. Leave us be. Let us be "in denial" or "delusional" or whatever you want to call us. It's fun over here. It's bright and positive and we all share the best memories of the past year. We don't WANT to look on the downside because it doesn't help us. It doesn't make sense to be consumed by all this negativity. It's very damaging to people's mental health if all they're seeing is "qsmp is dead" "quackity is cancelled" "all CCs hate qsmp" and other untrue statements.
As long as the fandom lives, qsmp lives. So why are you mocking us for seeing the qsmp in a positive and fun way? We're celebrating its life, not its death. This is a celebration, not a funeral.
I have had so many people message me, send asks, and tag me in posts to thank me for being positive about this situation even in the worst of times. And it's not that I'm saying "the admins are being mistreated? Oh well!" Because I'm not. What I'm doing and what I've done the past 3 or so months is remind people to take a breather, remind people to care for themselves and offer a place for them to vent to. I've shared my favourite moments of qsmp as a way to relive the best times whilst we go through the worst.
Can you not see that? Do you really think it's worth mocking me and others for?
If you genuinely believe I'm crazy or other insults because I see qsmp as a good thing, despite its faults, then please, unfollow me. Block me. Block the 'qsmp positivity' tag.
I will continue to spread hope about qsmp because I need it as much as others do. I owe myself to stay level headed and clear on qsmp because its done so much for me this past year. And so so many others see it the same way. I'm very grateful to be a place of positivity and safety during these trying times. I'm so thankful to everyone who has messaged me, sent me asks, followed me or even became my mutual because of this server.
I am so sorry for anyone that has been incredibly negative and doomposting excessively these past few months. It's very sad you felt the need to bring others down because you were sad too. But the there's a difference between being negative and actively ridiculing others for not being negative. And for those that have been doing the latter, stop. Stop trying to make us feel small for having hope for a server that has been our home for over a year.
If anyone feels like I'm being harsh, it's because I am.
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Hello!!
I'm back to crack posting about my favourite shows and/or characters! =D
We Are ep 8 was gold. It had comedy, friendship, silliness and romance in the absolute perfect amounts.
Warning: long post 😊😅
This scene with Peem and Matt is peak comedy. I rewatched it so many times hehe
Phum: I'm gonna ignore every inch of space to stand right beside you. <3
Peem: *bombastic side eye*
Also Peem: *leans into him*
Khaofang woke up today and chose violence 😭👍🏼
Let's be honest though, that was not the sibling we'd expected to throw fists.
Meanwhile, Toey: that's my hia Fang 😊
Isn't that the million dollar question Mick 😭
If they got together already, how would the series run for 16 eps 😭
Toey with his hias ^ (also Matt edging him on like he's in a competition I'm dying 😭)
Toey with his P'Q:
However savage Q may be, he still shares the same braincell with his friends 😭👍🏼
IT WAS SO MEAN OF THEM TO MAKE MATT PAY WHEN THEY'VE HARDLY EVEN TAKEN A SIP! T-T
Peem before, when Phum even touched him: LET GO YOU ASSHOLE
Peem now: *fond, indulging smile* what do you want to do?
*shakes head with a sigh* boys in love ay
The motorcycle 'hold me tightly' trope being reused with a bicycle aka how to make them sit even closer
Peem saying so-so when Phum asks if he looks handsome: Peem, babe, you were the one who called him handsome first remember? 😭
What secretly. Phum was about as subtle as football directly hitting your painting (yes I think I'm very funny).
With all due respect, please get the f out and let my boys be. Please and thank you. :)
^This is the answer to any question about Pun. 😭👍🏼
This scene is so, so beautiful. I am absolutely loving how they’re giving friendship/platonic love as much importance as romantic love because yes. I've been waiting for a bl like this forever (or at least since I got into bls hehe-). Bad Buddy and MSP came close, but We Are took the trophy. They love each other so much. Kill for each other? Nah, they'd go together and make that person's life living hell, and that would make my day.
I really really love that they're still so silly with each other in college, and are close to and comfortable enough with each other to be able to be childish and play in the middle of the day, to be each other's safe space.
This friendship is so precious and close to my heart. Even more than the romantic parts of the story, this is what makes me want to watch this series every week to see what new shenanigans they've got up to.
I love them. So much.
Beer is me, I am Beer.
Smiling at them so softly. Oh, he knows. And he ships. 👍🏼
This scene was also so beautiful.
They've finally started acknowledging that there's something between them.
I think more than Phum being unable to express himself, he's taking small steps to guage how Peem reacts. He wants them to be on the same page before he takes the next step.
Like with the kiss, he didn't hesitate to talk about it, to tell how much it means to him and then kiss Peem again. But he waited until Peem kissed him first, and till he was sure that Peem wanted to talk about it.
I really like this about him. He's not taking a step back per se, just making sure that when he takes a step forward, he's not leaving Peem one step behind.
Phum explains again and again how Peem is his safe space (his dialogues this time reminding us of Peem's little speech to his own friends and Fang talking about why he likes Tan with Phum), to make sure Peem knows.
It's already been told to us how alone he's been most of his life, so Peem and his ragtag group of friends is very new for him, but it's fun, and it not only brings him closer to Peem but also a friend group - a support system he didn't really have before. Sure, he has Fang, Beer and Mick, and Tan, but it's nothing like this silly little group that puts paint on each other then plays with water and gets almost black out drunk on a regular basis.
Also, did anyone else notice the two matching rainbow coloured jars behind Peem here? No? 👀
Simp. (affectionate)
I always love these call scenes where one of them somehow travels through his cell phone to land in the other's bed hehe
Peem is so done with Phum and his branded fashion outfits 😭😭
"You were born in Thailand."
Pond and the "I'm Thai" meme 😭
wait.
A bl lead realising he likes someone (his romantic interest) all on his lonesome??
Colour me surprised!
I actually didn't think I'd get to see this happen ever in a Thai bl, but good for him lol
So that's that for this week! If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊
Here, have a bubble tea 🧋
#we are#we are the series#we are series#thai bl#watching bls: we are#let's talk bl#phumpeem#tanfang#qtoey#chainpun
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The Claw is our master.
I've had a few folks in DMs ask me how/why/when my shipping did such a completey 180. It's a fair question. I am, after all, someone who spent the last 2 years fervently Buddie shipping, writing fic for them, doing the same hoping/analyzing/searching etc that everyone else (well...not exactly the same, I've always been skeptical of most of the theories and such because I don't believe in a production's ability to be that sneaky, covert or mischievous).
And yet, here I am. I can't really even pretend I'm still a Buddie shipper anymore. Initially I said sure, I still hope for it. I...can't in all honesty say that now. I've firmly decamped for BuckTommy Land. Is this a recipe for heartbreak if they eventually breakup? Sure, but that's always a risk. No more than shipping a non-canon pairing, anyway.
And there's nothing wrong with shipping a non-canon pairing. People do it every day. Hell, it's practically the backbone of fandom. Obsessing about ships being canon is a one-way ticket to dissatisfaction and sometimes total unraveling. I've seen it happen more times than I can count over 30 years in online fandoms.
But if that's the case, why didn't I stay on Team Buddie? Why did I defect so thoroughly that I'm at the point now where not only do I not think Buddie will ever happen, I don't want it to, because I now want to see something different from those two characters, something I believe we will actually get from the writers.
The answer to that question is: I have no idea.
People ask this like I'm somehow in control of it. I'm not. The Fandom Brain is like The Claw in Toy Story. The Claw is our Master. The Claw decided who will go and who will stay.
Fandom Brain is my master. It decides what I'm going to ship, what I'm going to be fannish about and what I'm not, and when I'm going to stop feeling fannish about something. I have zero say in the matter, I'm just along for the ride. At some point in every fandom I have ever been in, my Fandom Brain has, usually with no provocation, decided "Ok we're done with this fandom now." And nothing I can do will make that not true. I can't force it. I can't cajole it. It just is.
Similarly, Fandom Brain has decided "Welp, we're done with this pairing now. We like THIS pairing now. Proceed." Are there reasons? I'm sure there are.
Is it just that it's a canon pairing? Possibly. There is something very seductive about a canon pairing after so long of looking for crumbs and tiny hints where there (mostly) none to find. But I've shipped plenty of non-canon pairings before.
Is it that I prefer Tommy/Lou to Eddie/Ryan? Absolutely not. I love Eddie, always have. I admit to being slightly more of a Buck girlie, but that doesn't mean Eddie means nothing to me.
Is it the immediate gratification? Maybe. Is it just how the relationship's being written? Possibly. Is it just a mental adjustment for my belief that Buddie will never happen, and Eddie will always be straight? Likely. But that doesn't change the outcome.
So here I sit, just...yep. Sometimes it just be like that. I didn't choose this, it's just what my brain decided was going to work for me going forward. If this goes up in smoke, my brain will choose something else, whether it's to run back to Buddie, or be done with 9-1-1 entirely, or who knows what else?
The good news for any of you who follow my writing is that I'm still working on the next Husbros installment. That universe is removed enough from the canon that it almost feels separate to me now, and I'm still feeling connected to it. Yes, I've written a few short BT fics, but so far I've not had any lengthy or involved plot bunnies for it.
So there you have it. I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me. I don't know if I'd have chosen this if I could, but tbh I'm having a pretty good time with it so far, so. That's probably a big part of the reason.
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it is interesting to me that sam is judgmental about dean’s eating habits, but, from what I remember, he’s fairly non-judgmental about his drinking habits in comparison. while sam goes through phases of wanting to eat “cleaner” he never wants to give up alcohol. do you think this indicates that sam is also pretty dependent on alcohol himself but less “showy” about this than dean who jokes about needing alcohol more often? or is it more that he knows it comes off as insanely hypocritical bc of his demon blood addiction where he went off the rails while dean is still functional even during periods of heavy drinking?
(Does Dean joke around about needing alcohol that often?)
Interesting question. I don't think hypocrisy has ever stopped a character in Supernatural from saying anything tbh. But I also don't think Sam sees anything wrong with the way Dean drinks most of the time. This is a man who tried to give Dean beer for breakfast when he was suicidal (13.05). And I think the reason he was offering Dean breakfast beer is also pretty key to understanding why Sam, for the most part, shuts the fuck up about Dean drinking: He isn't actually good at dealing with Dean not being okay. It scares him. I'll come back to that in a minute.
I think fanon sometimes makes more of Dean's relationship with alcohol than it is. I'm not saying there aren't points in the show where Dean is very obviously shown to have an alcohol problem. I'm not saying his relationship with alcohol is normal (though his relationship with alcohol is pretty normal prior to him going to hell). I am saying I think a chunk of fandom tends to think of Dean as someone who is more or less constantly buzzed for most of the series, and that's just not accurate. After hell, Dean begins drinking to fall asleep. He is binge drinking a significant amount before bed by mid season 5 after the Harvelle's deaths (5.11, 5.16). But it is to fall asleep and it cuts back to a glass or two a night by the beginning of season 6 after a hard fought struggle we get small references to between Dean and Lisa (6.01, 6.06). Dean would be dead on a hunt within a month if he was constantly day drinking, and the show notes to us specifically when Dean is so out of sorts he feels the need to do that (see: 6.06, where Dean drinks just to be able to stand being near Sam, after being assaulted the previous episode while Sam watched and smiled). A glass of whiskey or two before bed becomes Dean's new normal from season 6 onwards. When his drinking ticks up from that in one season or episode to another, there's a deeper problem going on that Dean is struggling through. I only mention this because when I actually think of points where Sam might say something to Dean about an uptick in drinking... it's not going to happen as often as fandom sometimes imagines.
Sam understands Dean's options as far as dealing with nightmares from decades of reality-bending torture are highly limited. Realistically, Dean has zero access to qualified professional support. Suppose Dean took sleeping pills instead of drinking to fall asleep. Would he actually be better off? Would he eventually abuse sleeping pills instead? Would that just put something in close proximity to him that he could even more easily overdose on? Because... Dean also isn't a stranger to suicidal ideation, and Sam is very aware of that, and I wager he gets a hell of a lot more antsy about the thought of Dean having constant access to sleeping pills than he does about Dean drinking a glass of whiskey or two before bed. In the fucked up world they live in, as far as Sam's concerned, Dean's relationship with alcohol is usually "under control" in a relative sense. I think Sam understands Dean's use of alcohol and he accepts it... and he isn't going to get judgy, because Sam isn't good at actually handling Dean not being okay. Dean not being able to cope scares Sam however he might pretend to play Mr. Therapist (see my tag: #bad therapist sam).
If Dean chooses to cope with nightmares and sleep disturbances using alcohol while still being functional during the day, Sam isn't going to say a word. When Dean's drinking gets bad, for example, in season 7 when Dean constantly carries around Bobby's flask, I seem to recollect Sam speaking up about it at least once—at least in vague terms? But we'll see when I get back into season 7. (All I remember right now is him joking that alcohol is a "vitamin" for Dean in 7.18). I really do think in general, as far as Sam as concerned, as long as Dean's drinking doesn't effect his job performance... it's all good. He generally isn't going to touch it with a ten foot pole—not even to joke.
It is true at the same time that Dean's relationship with food also is and continues to further develop into a coping mechanism. Dean eats when he's grieving or sad and when he wants comfort. Food makes Dean feel safe. However, Dean also eats when he's happy, and Sam's judgments when it comes to Dean's eating usually happen when Dean is happy eating instead of sad eating (or when Sam at least perceives him to be happy eating).
I think the specific connection between Dean's drinking and hell may also play a role here. Sam failed Dean deeply on the hell front and I think he knows it. I won't even mince words: it is Sam's fault that Dean never talks about hell. Dean was opening up between 4.08 and 4.11, but because of Sam's cruel turn in his framing of that traumatic experience, Dean's hell trauma is forever the silent looming thing that no one talks about. Not Sam, not Dean, not anybody. Getting judgy about Dean drinking to fall asleep could easily open cracks in Dean's own self-imposed wall and Sam is smart enough not to scratch at it. Not just for Dean's sake, but for his own, because that betrayal intersects deeply with Dean's broken trust in Sam in season 5, and if there is one thing Sam's ego absolutely cannot take, it's reminders of moments where he proved Dean could not trust him.
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Permanent Tagging List Take Two!
Hey, guys it's that lovely time again when I go through my permanent tag list and remove people that haven't interacted with my stories in awhile to clear the way for new people.
So here's the deal, you'll have one week to respond to this post. I will post it again every week so that hopefully if you don't see it the first time, maybe one of the others will.
NO JUDGMENT! I swear it. I just want to know if you're still interested so that if you're not, people who are can take your spot.
UNTIL THIS HAS COMPLETED ITS DURATION THERE WILL BE MORATORIUM ON ALL FUTURE REQUESTS TO BE ADDED TO MY PERMANENT TAG LIST!
I love all the requests I'm getting to be added to it. But I am at 44 on my permanent list and if it hits 50 then there is no way to add people to a story's tag list. Something I really don't want to do.
You can tell me if you want to be:
Removed from my permanent tag and all my stories
Removed from my permanent tag list but keep you on all my stories
Removed from my permanent tag list but only some of the stories (let me know which ones)
Stay on my permanent tag list but be removed from all my WIPs
Stay on my permanent tag list but be removed from some of my WIPs (let me know which ones)
Stay on my permanent tag list and all my WIPs.
My current WIPs so that you know what I'm currently working on:
Well Met By Moonlight: Steve is a werewolf, Eddie is a vampire and there are strange and horrible things going on in Hawkins. No Upside Down supernatural creatures AU.
Never Hold Back Your Step...: Boy With a Bat book 2. Sequel to Can Anybody See Me? Season 2 Au where Eddie picks up Steve as one of his lost sheep and him and Steve get together. Set immediately after book one, Steve has to get through high school and his new summer job. Only this is Hawkins and danger is always lurking around the corner. Featuring season 3 AU.
Icarus: Eddie makes it big with Corroded Coffin as Steve and Robin seemingly struggle with menial jobs. Only there is more than meets the eye with the up and coming metal band The Fallen as Eddie learns that the lead singer and Steve is one and the same. Now they have to manage three private lives with super stardom. The path to love never was smooth.
Sweet Home Indiana: Sweet Home Alabama fusion. Eddie and Steve get married when the first state makes gay marriage legal. But soon a rift forms between them and Eddie leaves. Now almost a decade later, Eddie's back in Hawkins looking for a divorce so he can marry his fiancee, Chrissy. But when he arrives, Hawkins starts feeling like home in a way he thought he lost long ago. Now he has to chose between his new life in Seattle and his old life in Hawkins. But not everything is as it seems and that makes things harder. For everyone.
Paper Hearts: Post Season 2 Valentine's day AU. Hawkins is doing a fund raiser for senior ball, people can buy paper hearts to give to their friends and lovers. Pink for friends and red for lovers. Steve doesn't have a girlfriend this year so he decides to get twenty pink hearts to give to girls that wouldn't normally get any. Cue Eddie finding that adorable and to do the same for Steve so he doesn't feel so lonely on Valentine's. They fall in love.
So here is the list of people that haven't liked, commented, or reblogged my stuff in about two months.
@danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @emly03
Some additional info!
I remove people who haven't interacted with any of my posts in more than 60 days. This is anything I post: chaptered fics, one-shots, and rants, whether or not they've been tagged.
What does interact mean? Comment, like, OR reblog. It doesn't have to be all three. Hell it doesn't even have go beyond a like. Though, really reblogs are the best because it means more people beyond the tag list can see it.
If you've done any of those things in less than sixty days, or have said that you're going through a rough patch and interaction will be down for awhile, you are still on the list.
I put up the option to be removed from certain stories because @maya-custodios-dionach said that they didn't like a couple of the stories (omegaverse and metal band Steve) and I thought oh, why don't ask people what they want to be tagged IN?
And in the last couple of days I've had about half of my tag list chiming in and tell me what they want. It's fantastic! Open communication for the win!!! It makes me giggle that no one has asked be from Boy With a Bat book 2, though. Literally everything else has.
Most of my regular permanent listers have made themselves known on what they want to be tagged on, but if you just like the post without commenting, I will take that as option 6 and move on. These people don't HAVE to comment or like, you'll stay on the list regardless.
But if you have stories you would much rather not be tagged in, I'd like to know, you know. ;)
@itsall-taken @spectrum-spectre @chaosgremlinmunson @i-must-potato @carlyv
@vecnuthy @irregular-child @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet
@disrespectedgoatman @tinyplanet95
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Hello! I wanted to know if you knew what the full incantations of everyone's UMs? ie Riddle with “Are you ready for your sentence? The verdict comes after. Any last words? Off with Your Head!” (I think this was it? If it's not exactly this it was something similar lol) instead of just "Off with your head!"
Hello hello!! Thank you for this question! ^^
The incantations can change between the EN game and EN manga, the original game and the EN game, etc., so I just have accumulated everything we know!
(The original JP incantations are, thus far, always the same across the game, manga and novels.)
JP Riddle: I shall declare the final verdict. The judgement will come afterwards. Are you ready?
EN Riddle: Are you ready for your sentence? The verdict comes afterwards. Any last words?
(ref: manga)
JP Trey: White to Red, Red to White.
EN Trey: n/a
(ref: novel)
JP Cater: I am this one, this one is that one.
EN Cater (game): I'm him and he's them.
EN Cater (manga): I am he...and we are they.
JP Deuce: You're gonna pay for that! Brace yourself!
EN Deuce: It's payback time! Get a load of this!
EN Deuce (Glomas): It's time to pay up! You're in for a world of hurt!
JP Leona: I am hunger, I am thirst. I am what takes away your future. Kneel down!
EN Leona: I am the one who hungers, I am the one who thirsts. I am the one to rob you of your future--kneel before me!
JP Ruggie: Kings, hyaenas—everyone is my friend!
EN Ruggie: n/a
(ref: manga)
JP Jack: Faster, Sharper, Stronger
EN Jack: n/a
(ref: novel)
JP Azul: The song ceases, the sun sets. A hand of mercy is extended to a wretched soul. Now, it's a deal!
EN Azul: The song ceases, the sun sets. I extend my benevolent hand to you poor, unfortunate souls. Now, to business!
JP Jade: Don't be so afraid. I want to help you.
EN Jade: Don't be afraid. I want to help you.
JP Floyd: n/a
EN Floyd: n/a
JP Kalim: Respite in the scalding sands, an endless feast. Sing, dance!
EN Kalim: Respite in the scalding sands, a neverending party. Dance! Sing!
JP Jamil: The one reflected in your eyes is your master. Answer when asked, bow your head when commanded.
EN Jamil: The one you behold is your master. When I ask you a question, you will answer. When I give you a command, you will assent.
JP Vil: Nothing is lost, nothing is feared. The shining crown is for me.
EN Vil: I lose naught and fear naught. This shining crown was made for me.
JP Rook: Come, see if you can flee from me.
EN Rook: Come, see if you can flee from me.
JP Epel: Close your eyes, still your breath...
EN Epel: Your eyes will close, your breath will still...
JP Idia: Game, Set, Match
EN Idia: Game, Set, Match
JP Malleus: Spinning wheel of fate, spin the thread of calamity. I, the king of the abyss, shall bestow this.
EN Malleus: Spinning wheel of fate, spin the threads of calamity. I, the Lord of Malevolence, offer this blessing.
JP Silver: To those who have been met, and to those who will be met someday...
EN Silver: Those I've met and will someday...
JP Rollo: Crimson, burn this body and guide me
EN Rollo: Crimson lotus flames, burn my body and guide me
Spoilers for JP content below!
JP Fellow: Come on to the theater
EN Fellow: n/a
JP Sebek: Break through the heavens, lightning.
EN Sebek: n/a
JP Lilia: Everything is like the days that have passed. Wherever is gone to, it is in the blink of an eye.
EN Lilia: n/a
(Note: this one is a little awkward to translate 💦 Cater, Leona, Vil, Rook, Jamil, Rook, Malleus and Rollo are the only ones with personal pronounces (I/me/you) in their incantations. With phrases like Epel’s we can tell he probably means “you” even though he isn't actually saying it because of the verb forms he uses, but phrases like Silver's and Lilia's are more difficult: they could technically be talking about anyone! Does Lilia mean "Wherever I go" or "Wherever you go"? We don't know! Aniplex USA tends to solve these grammatical hurdles by guessing, which sometimes makes sense (re: Silver) but not always (re: EN's subject pronoun mistakes).)
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I've had this idea kinda angst or straight up. But like say, in the context of the game, the reader had a boss fight like they're the enemy for whatever reason (ex: corruption, ect) and Arlecchino had to fight reader in a not friendly fight.
(Sorry if, in the future, I do a lot of requests I had a TON of ideas)
Ent:Waaa I didn't expect this to be requested but I like your pfp name ▼・ᴥ・▼ but don't worry I will make your request as soon as possible so don't be shy to send them to me 三三ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
I am so sorry if this is short and very very RUSHED because I was actually excited hehe
Summary:You are the enemy of the knave due to your past with her
let's continue our unfinished dance
There you were standing in the grass looking at the knave your enemy she glared at you you clapped both your hands looking at her
"Oh my peruere my old friend how have you been" You smiled arlecchino just stayed quiet she then summoned her crimson "I see" You smiled lowering your hands
"You didn't change one bit how amusing" You said "I could say the same to you still annoying talkative" She scoffed
She then vanished but you quickly grab out your umbrella deflecting her attack "typical" You threw a punch at arlecchino which she quickly took your fist pulling you "let's continue our unfinished dance" She said grabbing your waist
"oh? "You smirked and there the battle just begun you both started dancing while trying to point each other neck with a knife it was difficult needles to say
"You are far more strong now aren't perure? " You smiled "the names arlecchino now" She hissed finally almost pointing her knife on your neck which causes you a small sweat
The next move was created by you twirling around then kicking her in the stomach she kept attacking "hm your moves are slow and sloppy I wonder how you were able to beat the previous knave" You spoke that hit her
Were you mocking her?
"I can assure you I am more capable of handling you" She said cockingly you just smirked "well then show me your true self" You smirked knowing it would be impossible to beat her now but it was the only way you wanted to know how she was doing how strong is she now
Then your heart suddenly stopped seeing her in her full form you just smiled knowing this will be your last time seeing her she then stood there you couldn't wait
You then ran jumping towards her you knew you were foolish but you honestly wanted to see her new powers then she punched the ground a red spike started to strike out stabbing your right leg but you easily cut it getting up
Arlecchino then narrowed her eyes knowing something was off usually that type of attack would not even land a scratch on you
As you get up she then got a close to you pointing her crimson at her neck "are you mocking me? " You raised an eyebrow
"Do you think I'm a fool for not knowing you are holding back" She glared at you your eye widen smirking the wind became strong and the rain started pouring
The next thing you knew you were pinned down with your body unable to move blood scattered everywhere on the grass there you were with arlecchino she was choking you
"Why are you still holding back!? " She shouted tears? Pouring out from her eyes that is unusual you reach out a hand caressing her cheek which caught her off guard her eyes widen "you have grown peruere strong and beautiful"you gave her a piece of paper while closing your eyes going to where you will go now
"I'm a proud of you" Was the last thing you said she held the paper tears she sobbed ans opened the paper
Dear peruere
Hem this must be very weird especially from me haha but I just wanted to say ever since I laid eyes on you I vowed to protect you but I didn't want you to know so I trained to purposely be stronger than you so you would more and more strong to protect yourself while I wasn't with you and all the hurtful things you said to me I just listened and then ignored because deep down you are a kind person who would do anything to hide your emotions and honestly I'm very proud and impressed what type of woman you had become and I love you and will always protect you no matter what
Yours truly
Your enemy or secret admirer [Name]
She read the paper then tearing it apart she pulled your lifeless body holding you close
"I promise I'll be with you now for my thank you for all your sacrifice you'll always be with me now" She said expressionless
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Eva (Omegaverse Mpreg)
Buck paced back and forth in the waiting room. The alpha inside him was as restless as Buck and he was glad he was the only room in the room or he would have driven other people up the wall. He would have also growled at anyone who dared to get close to him because his alpha just wanted to make sure his omega was okay.
Buck stopped when the waiting room door opened, thinking it was the doctor with an update but instead, he saw Bobby walk in.
"You okay?" Bobby asked, obviously sensing Buck's worry.
Buck let out a deep sigh and shook his head. "Nope, I'm worried about Tommy and the baby."
"I will not trivialize your worries because they are completely valid, but I do want to say that I truly believe Tommy will be okay," Bobby told him.
He sat down on a chair and patted the chair next to him. Buck hesitated before taking a seat beside the other alpha.
"Now tell me, is this just about the delivery or is there something else?" Bobby asked.
Buck hated how well his boss, friend, and surrogate dad, knew him. "I am terrified... what if something happens to Tommy?"
"Nothing will happen to him, he is getting the best care in the world," Bobby assured Buck and put a hand on his shoulder.
Buck paused for a long minute and bit his lips. "I am also worried what if I- I am not a good dad. What if I end up like my own parents and fuck up my kid?" He asked after a while.
The other alpha removed his hand and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees, and putting his hands together like a prayer. "You are not your parents, Buck. And you will be a great dad. You know how I know that?"
Buck shook his head.
"Because you're already a great dad... To Christopher," Bobby replied. "He's not even yours and you love him like he was, so I can only imagine how much you will love your own kid."
"But I didn't have to raise Christopher. What if I fuck up with this kid?" Buck asked worriedly.
"Then you'll learn from your mistakes, move on, and do better," Bobby told him. "You're being too hard on yourself, kid."
That eased some of Buck's worries. "Thanks, Bobby."
"And you're not alone, Buck. You have a wonderful omega and partner who will hold you accountable and make sure you do good," Bobby told him. "I won't tell you not to worry because I remember what a nervous wreck I was when I was about to have my kids. But once you see her, everything will automatically fall into place."
Just as Buck was about to reply, the door opened and the doctor walked in. "Mr. Kinard-Buckley?"
"Yeah, that's me," Buck replied and immediately got up from his chair. "How's my husband?"
"Thomas and the baby are both fine," the beta doctor replied. "Thomas still hasn't woken up but the anesthesia should wear off in the next 20-30 minutes. We've moved him to a room and will bring your baby there if you want."
Buck perked up upon hearing that. "O-okay," he replied nervously.
"If you want, you can follow me now," the doctor told him.
Buck turned back to look at Bobby who gave him a reassuring smile. "Go, I'll be right here," he told him.
"Thanks, Bobby. For everything," Buck told the other alpha and hugged him.
"Congratulations, Buck," Bobby said, hugging him back.
Buck followed the doctor to the room and found Tommy fast asleep. He looked so pale and it worried Buck.
As if sensing his worry, the doctor said, "He'll be fine."
The door opened behind them and Buck turned around to see a nurse pushing in a bassinet.
Buck's mouth went dry and his heart started to race once again.
"Would you like to hold your baby?" The doctor asked.
Buck went over to the bassinet and looked inside to find his newborn baby girl swaddled in a light pink blanket. She looked so tiny and fragile and Buck was terrified of picking her up.
The nurse picked up the little bundle instead, and Buck's alpha tried not to growl. "Here, I'll show you how to hold her," the nurse told him.
She helped Buck take the baby in his arms and Buck was so scared of dropping her. He watched the baby in awe, taking in her rosy cheeks, which resembled Tommy's. In fact, everything about her was like Tommy.
"She's perfect," Buck mumbled.
***
Buck sat there on the chair with his baby girl, refusing to let her go. She woke up and cried at one point and Buck panicked, calling the nurse. The nurse chuckled and helped him calm the baby down.
The baby fell asleep again and Buck kept holding her.
He soon heard a soft groan and became alert. Buck saw Tommy open his eyes and was immediately out of his seat. He went over to his omega, and whispered, "Hey baby."
"Hey," Tommy replied hoarsely.
Buck watched as his eyes widened slightly. "Is that- is that her? She's fine?" Tommy asked, worry evident in his voice.
"Yeah, baby, she's perfectly fine," Buck replied.
He called for the nurse again who helped Tommy sit up on his bed.
"Do you wanna hold her?" Buck asked
"Y- yeah," Tommy replied and Buck could hear the same nervousness in his voice that he was feeling earlier.
He gently placed their baby in Tommy's arms and watched them.
"She's perfect," Tommy whispered.
"She is," Buck agreed. "Have you thought of a name for her?"
"I have," Tommy replied. "Eva..."
"Eva," Buck mumbled. "That's a beautiful name."
"That's not it. I have a middle name for her too," Tommy informed him.
"Oh yeah?" Buck asked. "And what would that be?"
"Bobbi. Eva Bobbi Kinard-Buckley."
Buck was taken aback by that and his eyes filled up with tears.
"I know how much Bobby means to you so it would be nice to have our daughter have his name too," Tommy replied.
"God, why are you so perfect?" Buck asked and leaned down to kiss him. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," Tommy replied. "And I love Eva Bobbi too."
"So do I," Buck replied and looked down at the sleeping baby in awe.
#evan buckley#bobby nash#tommy kinard#bucktommy#tevan#kinley#911abc#911 fic#911 fanfic#omegaverse#mpreg#omega tommy kinard#alpha evan buckley
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Four Keys: Skhadu (Shadow)
So I'm gonna be real guys I am filled with guilt that I have not posted their lore and stories, I'm just too much of a perfectionist so I'm just gonna ramble like I'm talking to a friend so I can get all of this out
Tw for child abuse, but its not descriptive its just part of his story
So Skhadu is an illegitimate prince of the draconic people in this fantasy world. He hates his father (Ganondorf <3) and his fathers Advisor/Mage (Vaati <3) even more!
He hates not having real power but still being forced into doing crap for everyone and then not even having the freedom to make his own choices.
Hes kinda been forced into this enforcer role, where he kinda has to terrorize anyone trying to plan some rebellion or coup or whatever. There's a lot of issues especially with the Kings great hibernation coming and the rumor of their only valid heir, Skhadu's half sister, being extremely ill. Like "Oh hey I might die" ill.
She would be the one with the crown and guardianship of their fathers Realm (kingdom wise and centuries nap wise). So if she's out for the picture, or at least weak, then that leaves alot of room for plenty of others to take a chance at power.
Point is though, Skhadu still has to attend stffy formal events, be constantly controlled so he doesnt "Embarrass the crown even more", and train to just do whatever everyone else orders him to do. The training is very brutal, and with Vaati being the one teaching him his magics? No very fun...
Not to mention he's constantly disrespected and humiliated, he has no choice, no freedom... just occasionally pity. It's what his father said preventing him from being killed.
So Skhadu runs away. He's still a prince. Just a Prince of Theives now. Or that's what he proclaims anyways.
He wants to make as much money as possible with as much chaos and fun as he wants thank you very much! Get real power on his own! Cause as much chaos and destruction however HE wants to! Not worry about responsibilities or appearances! Or Vaati threatening to lock him in a cage for two weeks without any food again! Adventure! maybe a girlfriend! Freedom! Money!! That he can actually use!!!
He even has the skills for it too- All his years stealing, sneaking, and fighting Vaati has payed off! And he's not only read about plenty of techniques, he's even learnt from other thieves<3 he's definitely found his place
SURPRISE: The heir, his half sister, really is ill. Fatally. He is the next best thing to an heir they have. The closet thing to keeping power in the family. They'll offer him whatever he wants if he comes back.
Skhadu does not want to come back. He finally got real freedom. Real happiness. He understands how much the "power" he'd get is just a lie. He's not interested. Responsibilities are gross. He'll live in secret and have an AWESOME time doing that thank you very much. The colorfully worded letter containing his own scales proves that.
So the manhunt ensues. He'll never be caught- Hes too smart, too clever-The crumbling Kingdom can suck it and figure out their own issues! Not force him to! Hed rather end up in a jailhouse again than being publically executioned whenever a new coup shows up.
Or just live in hell being nothing but Vaati's puppet. He knows he can't run away forever though.
Buuuuuuut, something does catch his eyes...
There's some little haggle of misfit adventurers looking for some "triforce" artifact or whatever. Something about "finding the sacred keys" or some crap. It sounds like a bunch of guys high of fairy dust believing in some folk tale, but Skhadu knows better. Because he knows that's what his father was searching for. To restore the power of their kingdom, and become a god. Skhadu had just thought he was a madman. But with the evidence he's seeing... Maybe Ganondorf is not.
It's supposed to take the energy of one's soul and mix it with their greatest desire. Fueled by the raw magic of the elements, their wildest dreams can come true... Even defeating death.
Its.. probably an exaggeration, but based on the actual viable magical documents, it does seem entirely possible he could use it to save his sister. He's NOT doing it because he "cares" about her or whatever. Shes stuck up and overly perfect! Skhadu is just doing it for his own interest, its a dog eat dog world afterall. If she can be the heir then they'll stop hunting him, and he'll be free!
Besides, those adventurers or whatever? They're a bunch of saps, it'' be super easy to trick them! He'll just let them do all the hard work and steal it from them at the very end! Yes, yes, he IS a genius, and a very handsome one at that.
Sure he'd be a traitor to the throne and his new "friends", but really, what's one more lie to the pile?
#four keys#my art#my au#four swords#fs#shadow link#fs shadow#four swords shadow#fs art#four swords art#four swords manga#four keys shadow
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Lose a Bet [18+ Imagination with Stray Kids]
Included: friend!Changbin, the gym, the sofa and stubborn characters
Sypnosis: You went to the gym to visit Changbin but it went wrong.
Words: 1.3k
(This is a smut so minors do not interact.)
At the Gym. With Changbinnie.
"Ufff," you groaned at the bench press.
You had an argument with Changbin that you can make 10 times through the bench but he denies that you were good enough for it. At first he was exercising at the gym alone and was not even inviting you to his hobby. You fought back like a 'me too movement' because you thought just a little of sport that you could do it like him. It went a little bit down.
"I think I won the bet, Y/N," Changbin suggested. He was behind you to help you with the sport equipment.
"T-two..." You stuttered. "No... w-waay! Agh!" You screamed. Your arms hurt and you let the barbell go. "You are cheating!"
He was surprised that you came to his gym that day and wasn't prepared for your confidence. He took only some weight away after you said that gym 'was made for you.'
"It is not even one a half time," he judged.
"I need water," you said and search the water bottle, grabbed it and choked it down.
"That's my water bottle..." Changbin spoke and sat on the area of the equipment. "So, Y/N... What do I get for winning the bet?"
"Hufff... I'll clean the house for you," you babbled and still drank from his bottle of water.
"I think so."
"Let's go to your home. I am tired."
He sighed but agreed to your idea. He picked up his towel and as well yours to throw it to you. Quickly he squeezed your arms 1-2 times to see whether if you have injuries. He just judged you of how it wasn't a good idea.
Later on Changbin drove you to his home. He agreed a lot that you clean for him. His house was an apartment for himself and he lived alone for a while now. It was rather clean and tidy than messy.
"Here's the mop and everything else," Changbin showed his cleaning equipments in the hallway.
You slam your tower on his shoulder. "I'm not your housewife!"
"I think you are not going to clean..." He criticized you again.
You blowed. "Pff! Of course I can clean."
You looked at the cleaning equipment. For you it seemed to be a difficult deal already. You picked a random cleaning liquid. "How do I start?"
"Wiping the dust off," he whispered to you while going very close to your ears. His lips almost touched the delicate part of your ear.
"Oh right... With which one?" You picked a random equipment and was about to start wiping but Changbin stole the thing away from you. You stared at his arm muscles. 'Woah so big...' you thought.
You touched a peek of his big muscular arm. Then he came very close to you. "This is not for wiping dust."
You sighed. "Then it does whatever! I am still sure that you cheated."
He raised his voice. "No, I am not."
You were about to pick up the equipment but Changbin took it away again. "Nah, give me something else."
You needed to hide yourself under his arms. "I-is something wrong?"
He suddenly touched your ass like as he wanted to slap it. "I've won a lot of bets already."
"Yeah, true. We should cancel the game," you suggested but quietly. Your hands were trying to get Changbin's naughty hand from you but it was already too late because he touched your bare back.
"I want to win something else! Your idea was bad."
"Okay, okay I believe you. My ideas were bad."
"I want sex."
"What?"
He laughed. "You can trust me." He hugged you once. "I was joking, idiot."
Then he lifted you to the couch and laid you there. "Make yourself comfortable."
"No sex?" You were confused.
"It is your decision, sexy."
You looked at yourself. Your sport attire was very thin and revealing. You hid your breast.
Changbin suddenly slipped and kissed you. Lips to lips.
"I'm sorry," he apologized.
You kissed him back accidentally. He was quiet after the incident. You two found a position to make out. Changbin's lips were soft and kissable so did his tongue. He lifted your sport shirt with his hand and your bare skin was exposed.
Changbin canceled the make out by coming out from the position. "You taste so good."
He climbed down your body and gave your stomach a small kiss. His head then pushed through your t-shirt until he reached your bra.
"Can I take it off?"
"S-sure..."
He piled your bra to the upper side and then licked your bare breast that made you moan.
"I dare you to fuck me," he said.
"What? Is that everything I can win?" You asked.
He looked at you amazed. He also nodded.
You took off your shirt and your bra so you were only in your leggings. You took yourself over him.
"Your boobies are so cute..." He complimented your bare breast.
You posed your boobies for him. Inside down you felt his penis had twitched.
"Oops..." You flirted.
He laughed at you making jokes.
You leaned down to kiss him again. You bite his underlip, pulled your tongue in his mouth and stroke. Then you also took his shirt off. It revealed chocolate abs and huge muscular man.
You hugged him and he does it back. You shove your legs against his pants.
"Baby..." he moaned.
He knows that you are going to play him again so he held your hips with two hands and pulled down your leggings. You screamed. You wanted to hide your secret body part but it was too late.
He groaned at the view of your naked legs.
"Don't look at me," you commented.
"It's pretty nice though."
You also tried to take off his sweatpants but he already did it himself. This time you slipped on the couch and laid there.
"Can I fuck you?" Changbin asked.
"S-sure..." You stuttered.
He smiled at your answer. Changbin then kissed you for the last time before he laid his crotch in front of your pussy. He found your entrance and with his fingers he stroke it with one or two. He tried to warm you up. Your juice was covering all of his fingers as you moan quietly because of the neighborhood. Your view was pretty much your naked body and naked Changbin.
"You are so sexy," he complimented.
"Thank you," you answered.
"You're welcome."
He suddenly stood up to get a condom. He wore it as quick as he could and swiped it into your entrance. Your moan might be a little bit too loud for the neighborhood.
"Sshht..." Changbin warned. He was also aware of his thin walls.
He fucked your gracefully and you both tried to be quiet under the walls that gave nothing but unprotected privacy. The view out of the window was just the Han River and the city.
Changbin moaned and lifted one leg of yours on his shoulder. He digged deeper in your entrance makes it hard for you to breath out quietly. He held one of your legs up and sex you. He moaned loud as well.
"Ah," you groaned because of your leg and how he hits the spot perfectly. Changbin was a loud banger.
"I'm cumming..." You complained.
"Wait for me!" He raised his voice.
He banged into you faster and then as fast as he could. You couldn't hold it and came already. Changbin did the same into the condom.
"How was it?" he asked.
"So good..." You sighed.
"Yeah?"
"I want it again!!!"
Changbin rolled his eyes. "No..."
"Why not?"
You jumped up to hug Changbin. This time you win the bet for sure.
"Baby, it's night and you cannot be so loud. I need to give you after-care," he smooched your cheek. "You are so naughty."
He gave you an extra massage to calm you down.
"Okay, then not. I am sleepy right now," you responded.
"You can sleep with me, or should I bring you home?"
"I want to rather sleep with you, Changbinnie."
"Okay," he answered. He kissed you again. "Promised. I actually lose the bet."
#kpop imagines#skz imagines#stray kids imagines#stray kids smut#skz smut#stray kids#stray kids changbin
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How are we feeling about ensekai’s emu3 translation!!! (I’m mad)
(if you remember the 3 whole posts i made when asahi got de-gayed on EN you'll know i am mad too and that this is probably going to get long)
i don't like to be too cynical but it was so obvious that they were going to change that line, i had a feeling since the event first released on JP and after the incident with Asahi where I went through and tracked down multiple other examples of EN removing queer subtext it became clear to me that in no way shape or form was "emu-chan really loves nene-chan" making it to EN without getting changed. what i didn't expect was them changing Nene's line after Luka's comment, which actually makes this whole situation far worse than many of their other instances of toning down queer subtext.
for anyone who isn't aware of what happened, in chapter 5 of the current Emu event, there's a scene where Nene, Rui and the Virtual Singers are talking about what would cheer Emu up. The vsingers all talk about how much Emu loves spending time with Nene, leading to the following exchange
If you look for them, any fan TL of this scene will be something similar to this:
Luka: ...Fufu. Emu-chan really loves Nene-chan, doesn't she?
Nene: Th-that's nothing special...
EN's official translation is this:
So what's the issue? I'll start with Luka's part. In the original text, she uses the word daisuki, which can mean to "like a lot" or "love". It's a word you will see frequently in the idol/idol-adjacent genre of games, due to its ambiguity in that it can be read as either platonic or romantic when used towards a person, and often will be used in ambiguous situations so that it's harder to confirm the writers' intentions either way. so here, fans of the emu/nene ship could view the fact that emu loves spending her time with nene as more on the romantic side, but people who don't like the ship could view it as platonic and move on.
while they didn't translate daisuki directly, Luka's line still works, and still contains the ambiguity that works as ship tease in the original text. it's a perfectly fine localisation that still conveys the original intent. despite that, there is something to be said about EN's consistent refusal to translate daisuki as love in most instances when it's not used on An/Kohane (but then again, EN has literally teased An/Kohane on their twitter account so is it all that surprising?).
Here's some examples:
Aibou no koto ga daisuki de / he loves his partner -> he cares about his partner very much (The Power of Unity chapter 7 when Kaito is comparing Arata to Akito and Toya)
HARUKA-CHAN, DAISUKI DAYOOOO!!! / HARUKA-CHAN, I LOOOOOVEEE YOU!!! -> You're the best!!! (Dear Me, As I Was Back Then chapter 4 when minori is at an ASRUN concert. this one isn't actually that great of a localisation)
Honachan no koto daisuki dakara. Kore de iinda yo. / I love Honachan, so this is fine. -> I want what's best for her. And this is it. (Leo/need main story chapter 14 after Saki tells Honami she won't bother her anymore)
Minna daisuki de - taisetsuna tomodachi na no / I love them all - they're my dearest friends -> They're all amazing, and very dear to me. (Leo/need main story chapter 17. this isn't good either)
What's particularly amusing about that last one is that there's a second official translation for it that I assume was done by JP staff (since EN never promoted doing the Journey to Bloom subs like they did back when they provided subs for Petit SEKAI) that actually keeps the word daisuki as love.
Yeah. I love all my friends - and they mean the world to me.
It's a better localisation than the official EN team one.
Questionable localisation choices aside, Luka's line is fine and is actually in line with the original. The issue with this localisation very much lies with Nene's part, because that is an entirely new line.
In the original text, Nene's "that's just normal" or "that's nothing special" or however you choose to TL it, is meant to be her questioning Luka's statement, since all the things that the other vsingers said that Emu liked were pretty normal things like going shopping and playing video games with nene. To Nene, these things are normal activities for them to do together, so she gets embarrassed by the fact that Luka concludes from that information that Emu loves Nene. When I dissect it like that I think you can really tell what the writers were going for here lol.
"That's just us being friends" does still convey the idea that Nene thinks these activities aren't anything out of the ordinary and she isn't sure why the vsingers are picking these out as some of Emu's favorite things to do, but it's very different from the original line. "But those are just normal things we do together" is something I just came up with on the spot, but it's a lot closer to the original text and still conveys the same meaning. The fact they changed the line to "that's just us being friends" is, honestly, not even subtle that they're covering up queer subtext. The original scene was very clearly written in as ship tease, and EN mentioning "friends" for no reason, especially since the word nor anything close to it was not used in the original, is instantly a red flag because it's like the go-to for queerbaiting and censorship. This was intentional. There was no need for them to specify that the relationship is platonic, Luka's part is ambiguous for a reason so that fans can view it how they like.
Just to top all this off, here's Rin's original line just before that Luka+Nene interaction:
Oh, and! And! She said that playing games with Nene-chan is also super fun!
And here's Rin's line from the official EN translation:
That's not the same thing, but even more weirdly, the incorrect part (super fun->really loves) is a correct translation for the part changed in Luka's line. So, they can do it, they are willing to say "really loves", just not in the right places. Maybe because Rin's part is less personal than Luka's part? It's strange actually, this isn't the first time they've done this either. Off the top of my head I can think of an example from Shiho's Varied Kindness 2* story where they translated the word "suki" as really loves, despite that being much stronger than the original word used (and the fact that daisuki is used a lot in the Leo/need stories and it's incredibly rare if not entirely unknown for them to translate it correctly).
It's not subtle that they're trying to remove implications of the characters possibly being queer, they did it in curtain call and they did it in walk on and on, and multiple times before then too. And considering some of the content in this year's events and the amount of times they say daisuki alone, it's gonna keep happening. honestly i hate the fact that i keep trying to justify the translations in these posts. these translations are intentional. what happened in the curtain call translation back in october says enough. when a character who uses explicitly romantic language towards another guy passes as a straight character in the translation you know they're doing it on purpose.
oh and once again, it's only the EN server that has this issue. The scene in question was translated almost word-for-word on the TW and KR servers.
read fan translations. they're better than what EN gives us and people put a lot of effort into them.
#since the EN translation qualifies as a leak i am scheduling this to post when the event drops#asks#mod talks#i'm going to leave this in the tags because i don't want to make the post any longer#but something that's been really annoying to see recently on twt has been the gradual uptick of players saying that there's no queer#characters/subtext/etc in the game outside mizuki being trans. and i do wonder if EN's consistent habit of toning down#or outright removing moments of heavy subtext and other more ambiguous shiptease moments has anything to do with it.#that or people live under a rock because even EN keeps most of An and Kohane's relationship intact and there's still plenty of#moments that were impossible to edit or tone down due to being plot relevant or being part of longer interactions that wouldn't make sense#if part of it was changed. like the An wedding event.#eh maybe people are just ignorant.#but anyway it does bug me immensely that EN-only players are getting a censored version of the game. it's 2024. staff can do better.#also like i mentioned in the part about rin. they /add in/ things occasionally. so why the hell are they removing so much?
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imma be real with you, i will never fully think i'm pretty/beautiful unless somebody expresses a genuine romantic attraction to me
#the whole 'nobody will love you until you love yourself' thing is so wrong#i will only believe i am lovable if somebody loves me#i know it still is gonna be a struggle even then lmao but it will be easier to enter any sort of healing path with reassurance#because half my life i heard negative comments about myself#and now i'm in this weird area where literally nothing happens#and if something does it's catcalling#which makes me want to wear baggy clothes for the rest of my life#and makes me feel disgusting for making an effort to look nice#on top of feeling disgusting when i'm not making an effort#???#sorry i had a weird train of thought while folding my dresses earlier
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