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thatharringrovehoe · 3 years

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Some more Mob AU stuff cuZ I love it.

- Nancy and Steve never dated, but they have had sex. Once. Nancy wanted her first time to be with someone she trusted and Steve is her BEST FRIEND. She trusts Steve more than anyone. And it's. Not great. Because look. Steve and Nancy have alot in common. To much. They each like to be in control. They're both 100% Tops with a capital T. So when they have sex, even though Nancy is nervous, it ends up being almost a fight. Constantly trying to flip the other over, lots of biting and teeth and frustration because neither of them will submit. Afterwards they put on mud masks and get high and agree that while they love each other there is no way they're ever going to be like that.

- Steve notices the way Jonathan goes all glassy eyed when Nancy walks into the room. How his breath hitches whenever she gets mean. Cuz she is. She's not a bad person, but she's definitely a spoiled brat in a different way than Steve. Because while Steve is starved of love and affection, Nancy has been drowning in it since birth. She's haughty and petulant and will not stop for anything to get what she wants. And Steve is worried at first. Jonathan is a good spymaster and an even better friend so he's reluctant to feed him to the lioness that is Nancy Wheeler.

- He doesn't worry later when he watches Nancy go absolutely gooey with affection the first time Jonathan kisses her in the hallway. How she leads him around like a lost puppy by his camera strap to do what Steve suspects is fucking filthy things to him in the photo development room. Because he knows what Nancy likes. Knows that while Steve kills with kindness Nancy Wheeler is all bite and no bark. Likes to make the pleasure sting. And judging by the way Jonathan practically drools when she rakes her manicured nails down his chest over his shirt while they make out leaning against Jonathan's car after school, he 100% is down to be destroyed by Nancy *the princess* Wheeler.

- Jonathan is still a creep. The only difference here is that he's NEVER crossed Steve. Because when the Harrington kid came up to him in 8th grade and asked if he'd heard any interesting rumors Jonathan thought it was a joke. Just another shot at that weird Byers kid. Had half a mind to tell him to go fuck himself. But right as Tommy curled the beginnings of a mean smirk, Steve shut him down without even looking at him. Just held up his hand. Down boy. And Jonathan thought "You know what? Fuck it." Because if he was lying then he was just like everyone else anyway. But if he was telling the truth. Well. He wasn't above bribery. Told Steve everything he knew. Earned himself a seat in King Steve's court. Used the shadows that always used to swallow him up as a cloak. Held himself with a little more confidence because the monarch of Hawkins may have everyone's secrets. But Jonathan spun the web.

- Billy and Jonathan actually get along really well. They get high and talk about music whenever they're not otherwise occupied getting fucking wrecked by their spoiled rich kid Tops. Billy is low key concerned for Jonathan because damn. Wheeler is fucking savage. Like they'll be passing the joint back and forth and Jonathan will start getting almost to detailed the longer they smoke. Billy did not need to know Nancy Wheeler pegs her boyfriend with a dildo that big okay?

- Carole and Tommy are actually married. Like legally. As soon as Carole turned sixteen Tommy BEGGED Steve to pull some strings. To forge some documents. Cuz Tommy LOVED Carole. She was it. And Tommy could be one nasty piece of work but he would die for this girl no hesitation. And Steve is a sucker for that romantic shit. Set them up with a trip to Italy where a lot of Steve's mother's family lives. Because his grandfather respects a man who's ready to commit to his woman like that. And Steve is his grandmother's favorite. They have a ceremony in a little Church at the heart of the village. Tommy did not fucking cry when he saw Carole in her dress okay? It was just dusty in that old church, shut up.

- Nancy and Carole HATE each other. But in a very wasp-ish kinda way. Will hang out and have 'spa days, just us girls' but would choke each other out given the slightest opportunity. Tommy thinks it's hot. He will never tell Carole this.

- Dustin is obsessed with the fact that Nancy and Steve are kind of mirrored? Just two dominant rich kids that fell in love with emotionally stunted boys that were abused by their fathers? They both have dark brunet hair and big brown eyes? Their boyfriends are blonde? Steve are you listening? Steve!

- Steve gets really bad nightmares. Like wake up mid panic attack bad. And he's usually really good at hiding it from Billy. Is careful not to sleep to deeply around him. But one night after some fucking incredible sex Steve just passes the fuck out cuddling. The next thing he knows he's being shaken awake by a terrified Billy Hargrove. Because Steve had been screamin and shakin and cryin out and Billy was ready to burn down this hick town looking for whoever hurt Steve like this. Was gunna bury them in the Hawkins woods and piss on their grave. And that's when Steve tells him everything about the upside down. Introduces him to El to prove it.

- Speaking of, El doesn't spend a year all alone in a fucking cabin. Because Steve knows everyone's secrets and he likes having people in his pocket. And as much as Hopper dislikes Steve Harrington he can't say no when the king of Hawkins offers Jim perfectly forged paperwork for his 'daughter' El. So El goes to school and spends time learning how to be an actual child while Steve Harrington yanks on the leash of the chief of police whenever he wants.

- Billy is SOFT okay? He's just never been allowed to show it. Had been painted with bruises for just existing so God forbid his father let him show a human emotion. But after a year in Hawkins with Steve he lets his shoulders drop just a little. Will twine his fingers with his boyfriend's during movie night at the Byers. Brings Steve breakfast in bed. The first time he weaves a daisy crown for him Steve almost fucking weeps he's so touched.

- Steve is fucking possessive. Like. Intensely jealous. And at first this was a problem because Billy could not understand why all the girls in Hawkins treated him with kid gloves? They didn't just disregard any playful flirting, they full on didn't acknowledge it. He didn't really get longing stares as he walked through the halls anymore. No more tittering teenage girls blushing over him when he had gym outside. And he's not interested in women but it's nice to be noticed okay? Especially when he puts in so much effort. It starts to make him self conscious. Like, is he just unattractive? Second guesses himself to the point that he stops wearing his shirts unbuttoned and starts to get a little obsessive over working out. It's when Billy starts skipping meals that Steve notices. Sees Billy's lip wobble a little when he asks Steve if he's actually attracted to him or if he's just being nice. And Steve has to explain that he just... Doesn't share well. At all. That when Andrew Brady showed up to school last month with a fat lip and a limp it was because Steve had heard him talking with his buddies behind the general store about how he wanted to bend Billy over his Camaro and make him scream.

- And Billy is just. Shook. Gets all warm and fuzzy because no one hase ever loved him this much. Never wanted Billy this much. Wanted Billy to stay. Can feel tears willing up behind his lashes because the most amazing boy he's ever met is so over the moon for Billy that he's willing to draw blood on his behalf. Kisses Steve so hard they both forget to breath. Feels safe and loved, because he belongs to Steve Harrington. However he still flirts with people on the daily though cuz he's a little shit. And hey if it means his jealous boyfriend rails him so good he forgets his own goddamn name then that's just a bonus.

#I'm falling in love so deep with this AU you guys have no idea #mob au #billy hargrove #harringrove #steve harrington #stranger things #billy hargrove/steve harrington #billy/steve #Tommy H #Carole Perkins #Dustin Henderson #Jonathan Byers #Nancy Wheeler #RIP Jonathan cuz Nancy fucking destroys that boi on the daily and he is INTO IT

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morsking · 4 years

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And so we have concluded Lostbelt 2! Now that I’ve experienced it for myself, I have a much clearer picture about how I feel about this chapter. As I progressed one thing became very clear to me, and that was that Hazuki Minase likely did NOT have any influence with this chapter, and its weakest points can be attributed to its main writer, Hikaru Sakurai, once we more closely scrutinize her work.

For starters, I would like to apologize to the people who kept trying to tell me Minase had nothing to do with the writing of Losbelt 2. You were correct, I simply acted stubbornly because I was terrified that one of the writers I loathe the most had returned to haunt and corrupt the franchise I hold very dear to me. I insisted on blaming him for any flaws because he was an easy scapegoat and a bogeyman, and while we all agree he is a pervert and a hack who should be fired, it is simply not fair to point fingers at imaginary criminals. A person should always be held accountable only for the misdeeds they have actually committed. Indeed, we may now explore Lostbelt 2 and the integrity of its writing with a more objective perspective, or rather as objective as I can manage to be.

The overall theme of the Lostbelt is “acknowledging one’s emotions as a vehicle for personal growth”. The issue persistent in the setting of Lostbelt Scandinavia was that it was a place where only young humans were allowed to survive. These humans would be oblivious to what real growth and prosperity were really like. They were innocent, and emotionally and intellectually stunted groups of people who only knew to live for the truth of their eventual demise. They lived short, rushed lives where they would stay ignorant of basic human experiences, such as love, grudges, aging, vice, hate, competition, and companionship because they devoted themselves to living how Scathach-Skadi ordered them to. They were unable to think or decide what to do for themselves, and were thus incapable of not just taking the reins to decide their own evolution as we do in Proper Human History, but also of fathoming doing such a thing in the first place.

This is a mirror to Ophelia Phamrsolone. Ophelia was conditioned to only listen to others for purpose and direction. Ophelia doesn’t actually know how to listen to her own feelings or even what those feelings even are because she was never allowed to connect not just with herself but with anyone. Ophelia, like Surtr points out, is still very much a little girl terrified by everything around her because she has no balance, no capacity for finding her center as a healthy and normal human being would. Unbeknownst to herself, all her interactions with others are a plea for help. Her very first interaction with Mash in 2017 was asking her if she’d like to have lunch with her and Pepe because Ophelia is terrified by male strangers and wishes to connect with other women as well. Ophelia’s conversations with Kirschtaria are also her not knowing how to proceed with challenges and therefore appealing to authority both for comfort and advice. Finally, her monologues with the Alien Priestess are Ophelia venting about how she feels, as if she were unaware of what to really think of herself as her helplessness and indecision drown her in a lake of self-loathing.

These cries for help extend to the way she summons her Servants. Ophelia is noted to be incredibly proficient at evocation. Some might even call her a genius. In fact, she is such a genius she unknowingly managed to contract not just with one, nor two, but three different Servants all at once. The first Servant to answer her summon was Sigurd, the King of Warriors from Nordic mythology. The second Servant was Surtr the King of Giants and Scourge of Ragnarok (titled by yours truly), who hijacked the summoning and took over Sigurd. The third, and most pivotal, was Napoleon Bonaparte, the French Emperor whose Spirit Origin was modified to embody the “ideal Good Fellow who could make dreams come true” rather than the actual historical Napoleon.

What these three Servants have in common is that Ophelia wished for all of them from the darkest depths of her heart. Ophelia desired capable Servants who could give her some form of direction and stability.

Sigurd, for example, is a hero renown for rescuing Brynhild and giving brand new meaning to her life by showering her with love and devotion. Love and devotion are things that Ophelia not just desires to be shown but actively struggles to adequately express to others because she has never known what it’s like to experience those things. To Ophelia, Sigurd represents “being given that which you have never known and finding fulfillment”.

Surtr, on the other hand, embodies a darker type of direction: the terror stagnation, conformity, monotony, inaction, and eternal suffering. Surtr exercises control over Ophelia by threatening to destroy the world if he is released, prompting Ophelia to flash to her childhood locked away by her abusive parents every dreaded Sunday. Surtr locks Ophelia into a state of helplessness and indecision where she has to carefully consider how she will proceed with dealing with Surtr. Ophelia has decided to lock herself in with him as a way to prevent him from breaking out of both Sigurd’s body and the physical prison inside the Lostbelt’s sun. This is a situation where Ophelia is in a constant state of stress and fear, since as a Crypter the last thing she could ever want to see is the destruction of yet another world by her hands. More personally, the death of the Lostbelt would also mean death for Ophelia, as she has failed her purpose once again and thus would have no worth as a person. However, what Ophelia cannot understand, because Surtr himself does not, is that Surtr’s destructive impulses are how he wants to show love and devotion towards her. Surtr has reasoned that since their worlds abandoned them after they failed to perform their ordained tasks, the only thing left is to annihilate them completely as retribution for their suffering. Surtr does not wish to hurt Ophelia, but because he is a being defined only by his overwhelming desire to burn everything, he cannot help her heal or grow in any way that matters. All he can offer is annihilation. To Ophelia, Surtr represents “self-destruction through a static state of being”.

Finally, there is Napoleon. Napoleon represents a pronounced antithesis to Ophelia’s entire personality. He is an upbeat, improvising, confident man who chooses to not stress over things because what he is seeing is only what lies ahead, not what lies in front of him.He also breaks her defenses by asking something so ridiculous and unexpected as her hand in marriage when they have only just met. Napoleon refuses to give in to any negative outcome regardless of how much the odds are stacked against him, as he demonstrated in Scathach-Skadi’s throne room where he refused to let Sigurd kill his Master despite being restrained by Skadi’s paralyzing rune. He demonstrates this once again when he blows his final shot at Surtr during the final battle, sacrificing his own life to give Chaldea the opportunity to regroup and bombard Surtr to bring him down. He is called the Man of Infinite Possibilities precisely because he faces the unknown head on and finds the best path to walk for his comrades to advance. He does not let fear take over his heart and judgement, he creates a rainbow as a bridge connecting the present to the bright, shining future. He is precisely the hero Ophelia needs, because he embodies “the bravery to grasp your own future and find your own direction”.

But analyzing these characters further is a post for another time. What I want to get into are the gripes I have with this Lostbelt.

Now, I could lead you on through a couple more paragraphs before I wham you with what this all means in a much higher metatextual level, but I don’t have the time nor the creativity to do that so I’m just gonna give it to you straight. This square between Ophelia, Sigurd, Surtr, and Napoleon is the storyline that matters most in Lostbelt 2. Scathach-Skadi matters little despite her own parallels with Ophelia and being the Lostbelt King, and the situation with the Lostbelt’s inhabitants matters even less. Why?

Because Lostbelt 2 is Sakurai coming full circle and writing an otome game like Fate/Prototype was meant to be before Fate/stay night became a thing.

SHOCKER!! SOUND EFFECTS OF SURPRISE!! DRAMATIC KAZOOS GALORE!!

Now, that’s exaggerating a little. Or maybe not that much, actually.

What Sakurai was doing was applying conventional otome game tropes into the setting not just what she’s familiar writing for, but because Lostbelt 2 is inherently an incredibly self-indulgent project.

There is a classic trademark otome fantasy at play here: the fantasy of multiple men being devoted to a female main character a player can relate to. There is no denying there is a certain appeal to the idea that there are several handsome men all willing to devore their entire lives to a person. Sigurd, Surtr, and Napoleon all embody certain otome game love interest archetypes. Sigurd is the cold, composed, intellectual man who is actually earnest, just, affectionate, and wise. Surtr is the dark-hearted troubled man with fiery disposition struggling with expressing love. Napoleon is the strong, confident, borderline pixie manic dream boy with almost zero brains but plenty of empathy and... *ahem*, physique to make up for his seeming lack of tact and intelligence (he’s a himbo is what I’m saying but that comes as no surprise). The problems arise with Napoleon himself, however. Napoleon hounds Ophelia with marriage proposals she refuses time and time and again. When he proposes to her in front of Chaldea for the first time, the narrative has Mash take Napoleon’s side and urges you to do the same because Sakurai believed the reader would’ve caught on to what’s actually going on between Ophelia and Napoleon.

The issue here is that Sakurai’s clues up to that point had been far too hidden for the player to make a proper connection, and it’s not until AFTER the proposal that the player discovers Napoleon is predisposed to fall in love with whoever summons him because that’s what Ophelia wanted out of an ideal Servant. Because of the poor execution in presenting all these factors that completely recontextualize the relationship between Napoleon and Ophelia, when Sakurai has Napoleon say “You did not reject me therefore you DID agree,” we jump to the conclusion that Napoleon is engaging in extremely reprehensible behavior and ideology reminiscent of dangerous and abusive men IRL rather than take it as harmless flirtation from a well-meaning oaf of a man as he tries to break the shell of his beloved. Sakurai invokes a very dangerous trope that does more to excuse misogynistic behavior when done incorrectly rather than successfully appear as a romantic gesture of attempting to liberate a loved one from the clutches of isolation and victimhood.

On a larger scale, the application of these tropes is where Lostbelt 2 starts to suffer, and that’s where Sakurai’s writing further begins to resemble Minase’s. Sakurai spent so much time building these interpersonal dynamics that she spent the least amount of effort actually building upon the situation of the Lostbelt and Scathach-Skadi’s character and motivations for keeping the Scandinavia the way it is.

Upon scrutiny, it’s not very difficult to pick apart the setting and make a mark out of the glaring logistical inconsistencies of maintaining a population of only 10,000 humans for a span of 3,000 years by having them reproduce at 15 years old at the latest to execute them at 25. Anyone with a passing understanding of biology would know that forcing children to carry babies to term can lead to terrible health and psychological complications that would certainly end up in a lot more miscarriages, stillbirths, and failed attempts at impregnation than actual successful births. The problem here then is rather evident. Sakurai wanted to use the fact that all these children are young, innocent, naive, gullible, and ignorant to draw a connection to Ophelia’s own psychological and emotional circumstance. However, she realized that because she was writing a setting that obligated her to work around a 3000-year gap between Ragnarok and the present day. She needed something that would compromise the need for a realistic system that would ensure the reproductive viability of a human population through such a long period of time and the thematic vehicle of childhood and repression of growth as a way to connect Ophelia to her environment. This compromise ended up working for the absolute worse because she chose the worst possible system she was aware was the worst possible system she could’ve come up with and therefore decided to forsake that part of the plot without going through the implications of it and leaving the specifics to the reader’s imagination so they could sort it out in her stead.

This unwillingness to properly explore the problematic implications of Scathach-Skadi’s system not only deprived the player of a possible engaging storyline where child endangerment, a common theme in the Nasuverse, is explored and criticized through a different angle, but also actively hurts Scathach-Skadi’s connection to the player because we never get the opportunity to debate with her about her ideology and the state of the Lostbelt. We never hold her accountable for enforcing such a brutally predatory and dehumanizing system that targets children, instead Sakurai opts to build her up as a flawed, self-absorbed mother figure desperately trying to combat the extinction of the remnant of her world who also never really learned how to deal with the revelation there is an entire life she did not get to have in this universe that we MUST sympathize because she occasionally sees through the characters and acts kind towards them until the time comes for us to fight her in earnest as a matter of principle completely divorced from the question of how she’s managed her Lostbelt. The fact Scathach-Skadi’s model of sustainability does not work is made obvious by the fact it takes place in a Lostbelt, what we are trying to get at here is that it does not work from a writing standpoint because of all the different holes you can poke on it before you’ve punched through the paper screen entirely and revealed the superfluousness of it all.

There is nothing inherently bad about self-indulgent storylines. If I’m being honest, if Sakurai wanted to use Ophelia and Musashi as self-inserts to fantasize about romancing the different kinds of characters she finds attractive, more power to her. But the problem surrounding Lostbelt 2, which is the same problem that plagued Septem and Fate/Extella, is a veritable lack of restraint from her part as a professional writer in charge of a multi-billion dollar mobile game. What the writing room over at Type-Moon has to realize is that they are no longer a small doujin writing circle that can get away with whatever they want because they operate under obscurity. They are visible to the entire world and will be held accountable and criticized as professionals by consumers and their peers in the industry. A little bit of self-fulfillment in a published work never hurt anyone, you can cater to yourself most of all with your professional work (I mean, just look at She-Ra), but you must be sure that in your pursuit of indulgence your work does not suffer for it and ends up alienating and disappointing your fanbase and giving them the wrong impression of what you stand for.

Anyway we’re popping the biggest bottles when GudaMoth becomes canon this December.

#fate series #fate grand order #fgo #fate/grand order #fate go #homecooked meta #WOW THIS WAS LONG #for some reason sakurai ends up bringing the best in me even at her worst #IF I MISSED SOME THINGS IT'S WHATEVER IT'S 4:20 AM

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riverrunscold · 3 years

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I saw your tags, please info dump to me about your ocs, I wanna hear all about them!! 😊

Sorry I'm late getting to this ask! But I'm so ready to info dump!

Sorry if some of this is worded weird, I took it directly from my character notes which at the moment are doubling as my story developing notes.

Brief story description (so far):

A murder mystery story with the main characters, Rosemary Josephine Wynn, a skeptical detective and Cromwell, a trans spiritualist who is also a dumbass and excitable.

It's the 1920s, these two are working out of a small building that they rented out together, they have been friends since Rose first met Cromwell during an investigation. She loved ribbing him about ghosts not being real and enjoyed how flustered the man got. Though she also disagrees with the business he runs and once thought he was scamming people until she realized he actually believes the shit he sells.

Now, onto the characters!:

Rosemary- Rosemary is a black woman who dresses pretty similar to what women would in the 20s but would include more masculine outfits from time to time when she's conducting detective business. She found people took her more seriously that way but during the story maybe she stops wearing the masculine garb altogether when she realizes that she wants to be able to be herself and still be taken seriously. She also starts styling her hair in more ways, instead of trying as best she can to straighten it every morning or hide it under a hat. She also tends to have a more masculine bravado which she developed over the course of her career, influenced by her three brothers also. She has muscular arms and could beat you up in her favorite pair of heels if she wanted to. Her celtic zodiac animal is the Snake (something Cromwell references often). She's strong, strong-willed and strong-headed. Not at all spiritual, focuses on objective facts more often than not. Makes it a bit hard for her and Cromwell to get along at first. Rosemary is very in her own head and anxious but very silent about it, having experienced a lot of mental and physical abuse from her mother growing up. Her mother raised her as a work machine since she was young, never really stopping to teach her lessons about emotions and sometimes actively punishing her when she displayed them. She was less strict on her brothers, Rosemary thinks it's because she was her least favorite but her mom knew how hard it was for black women to get ahead in life so she made sure she focused on her studies and being good at multiple things (though it does not at all excuse her behavior). Therefore Rosemary ends up emotionally stunted later in life, not opening up often out of subconscious or conscious fear of repercussions. Throughout the story, Cromwell, being the outgoing nonjudgmental guy he is tries to help her open up and ends up being able to do that throughout the course of the story. This could possibly all crescendo into a point in the story where Rosemary shows her affection towards Cromwell through actions, not being great with emotional words or sometimes words in general. Maybe she puts herself in-between Cromwell and someone wishing to do him harm, being the stronger of the two and not wanting him to get hurt. This could possibly be at the expense of her own well-being. This could be a big turning point, Rosemary outwardly showing affection towards someone for the first time in possibly her whole life aside from her brothers. Rosemary suffers with PTSD, a result from her household abuse. She also has a hard time actually getting into relationships, watching her parents own degrade when she was younger. She's also terrified of being left by someone she lets herself get attached to, which is what happened with her dad. Since she has PTSD it often shapes the way she thinks or reacts, which will be incorporated into the story during her perspective chapters.

Cromwell-

Cromwell is actually his last name but he uses it instead of his dead name, one of his teacher's having called him by his last name once making him realize how much he loved not being referred to as his first or as Ms Cromwell. He's not out to anybody, just keeps connected to underground trans channels who also happen to frequent speakeasys around town. He's also Scottish, Cromwell being a Scottish name. He has red hair and freckles all over but his eyes are two different colors, it's almost not noticable. One's blue and one's green. He's a dumbass but I love him. Most people have a hard time understanding what he says because of his accent, a lot of people roll their eyes at him when they hear him speak. He doesn't speak much though because of the uncomfortableness he feels about his voice being too feminine for his liking. The only person he talks to with regularity is Rose but that's only because she basically forces him into arguments about ghosts. Don't worry though, they're all good natured on Rose's part, Cromwell's just dramatic. He also wears very worn clothing, a trench coat and white button up that were both too big for him. He also wore slacks with holes that were caused by moths and, so he claims to Rose's upset, spirits (He's mostly joking when he says it. Mostly).

Him believing in ghosts so much may also have to do with him wanting to be able to contact his sister who had passed away years ago but not even Rose knows about that until later on. His sister was really the only support he had in his family. Cromwell also taught himself how to sew, helped by his mother teaching him when he was younger, so he could create his own binders and give them to other trans men he knows. His celtic zodiac is the Fox, having been born March 31st 1899, making him 21. He's very spiritual and emotional, but very extroverted and wants to know others. He's also a tad flirtatious. He helps Rosemary get more in touch with her feelings or at least tries to. He started with giving her complements but that quickly turned out to not be at all effective, she tended to react to them with sarcasm or annoyance. Cromwell has ADHD. His symptoms also show through when the book shifts to his perspective.

Some thing I didn't mention, they are probably one of my favorite ship dynamics, the skeptic and believer, introvert and extrovert, opposites attract. I love that shit. Also slight rivals to friends to lovers babyy!

This also might be slightly based on Mulder and Scully but shut up xD

#my writing #my ocs #original characters #rosemary josephine wynn #cromwell #entropy #about my ocs #damn i want to continue writing this very badly #ask #thank you for asking!#herondaleatheart #sorry this is late #original story #i really want to draw themmmm #title change:#blow one down

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thokage-archive · 6 years

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i'll bite, what's your opinion on BAKUGOU KATSUKI

BITCH IM READY 2 GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

FIRST OF ALL……,,,,, SWEATEAL,

THATS MY SON! I WOULD D I E FOR HIM.

secondly, he is an extremely complex character & I beg all Bakugou haters to read what I’m about to write. I don’t think anyone needs to love him or kiss his ass by any means, let alone excuse his behavior towards Izuku. BUT! I beg of you to have some empathy for a fucking 15-year-old boy that has been through hell & back, is clearly emotionally stunted, obviously grew up in an emotionally manipulative, verbally abusive, and very likely, physically abusive household.

As someone who was raised in a household like that, and as someone who was both the bully & bullied growing up, I just need you to understand how complex he is & that he is worthy of redemption!!! (after all, he is a child, he should be granted the opportunity to grow & learn from his mistakes. I don’t think people should give up on him just yet, lord knows where I would be if the people in my life had given up on me at 15).

Deadass though…. let’s get into his fucking problems™ first because I am the last person on earth to act like he is perfect.

#1 problem - extreme anger issues

It’s made clear from the start of the series that Bakugou expresses himself best through anger and violence, something he obviously learned from his mother. Horikoshi, in fact, has SAID that him & Mitsuki are essentially the same person. So can we all just take a fucking moment & imagine Bakugou as a parent…. imagine someone with that type of irrational & immature anger parenting a child. How tf do you think that kid is going to turn out? How does a kid being raised by a verbally abusive parent grow up?

Well!!! Luckily, this series provides us with two very good examples,

a) bakugou katsuki

while on the opposite end of the spectrum is

b) todoroki shouto.

Everyone deals with abuse in different ways, especially different types of abuse. While Bakugou is dealing with abuse by taking his anger & projecting it out, therefore reflecting his abuser, Todoroki internalizes all of his emotions & is extremely distant and at times submissive for fear of punishment.

Bakugou wards off his weakness/being punished by his mother for being weak, by expressing brute strength through his anger & aggressiveness, thinking of things such as friends and feelings (other than anger) as weak. Todoroki hides his weaknesses from Endeavor by closing off his emotions from him completely, so much so that he is emotionally/socially stunted.

In short

Bakugou’s emotionally stuntedness = lifetime of anger being his only coping mechanism/outlet & a huge failure on his parent’s part to foster any other sort of emotions

todoroki’s emotionally stuntedness = lifetime of repressing all of his emotions from his father coupled with a lack of social interaction from peers

In both of their households….

losing = weakness

being #2 = weakness

emotional vulnerability = weakness

all of these weaknesses = punishable by verbal & physical means

The reasons why people respond the way they do to abuse is very varied. My best guess for why Bakugou responds the way he does leads me to problem #2

#2 problem - His Huge Ass Ego/Superiority Complex

Bakugou is…. a perfectionist. Much like Momo & Iida (he is behind only them in terms of class rank) meaning not only is he a huge physical threat, but also incredibly smart & a very hard worker in all aspects of his schooling. He takes his future as a hero very very seriously, just as serious as Midoriya or Todoroki. He very clearly feels a lot of pressure from his parents & other adults in his life to do well & succeed due to the flashiness of his quirk. Even at four when his quirk manifested all people could talk about was how cool it was & how lucky he was to have it, therefore gassing him up & already inflating his 4-year-old head.

All of the adults around him expected him to grow up and make something great of himself at only age 4, so he has quite literally been feeling that pressure for his entire life, at least as long as he can remember, which created this giant ego of his.

(ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT ADULTS & PEERS ONLY GIVING A FUCK ABOUT BAKUGOU QUITE LITERALLY FOR HIS BODY. LIKE…. GENUINELY ONLY FINDING HIM WORTHY OF BEING A HERO BECAUSE OF HIS QUIRK BEING “COOL”. BECAUSE IF THAT DONT FUCK WITH YOU GROWING UP, WHAT DOES???)

Now his ego, in terms of how he responds to things, is why he most likely does not recognize what he is going through as abuse. And we all know that from ego, stems immense pride, and Bakugou would be far too proud to admit he was being abused IF he recognized his abuse, therefore he would not seek help for it, or vent / open up to anyone about it. But his ego is also part of the reason why he doesn’t recognize what he is going through as abuse. Admitting, even to himself, that he is abused would seem weak to him. He would have to admit he is not perfect, nor is his home life. He would have to admit that it has affected him, and he would most likely view that as a flaw or defect in his personality. He would never want to be viewed as a victim. (hint hint, how did he handle being called the “victim” of the sludge monster incident? He doesn’t want anyone pitying him or trying to save him from anything. He wants to handle things on his own & thinks of it was weakness to seek out help)

He also uses his superiority complex as a defense mechanism. For example, he overhears Todoroki talking about Endeavor with Midoriya the day of the sports festival right? And he later tells Todoroki that he doesn’t care about his home life and that he should still give it his all against him. This is because Bakugou probably realizes subconsciously that he too has been through some shit with his parents (not necessarily recognizing it as abuse, but not what all other kids go through) & yet he gives it his all. He almost says this as if to prove to himself that he hasn’t let what he has gone through affect him. He thinks it has made him stronger & that he will beat Todoroki despite his hardships, therefore proving him to be superior. When Todoroki decides to not use his flames at the last second it sends Bakugou into a rage because he believes Todoroki finds him unworthy of his full power. He thinks Todoroki is looking down on him, seeing him as weak, and just embarrassed him in front of thousands of people. (This is, by the way, the second time we see Bakugou lose it over the prospect of him not being better than his classmates).

The FIRST time we see it is when he and Midoriya fight one another on opposing teams for All might’s Class. He believes himself to be better than all of his peers & he is absolutely CRUSHED when he discovers that perhaps that isn’t so. After Midoriya fights him and wins, his spirit is broken. We see him retreat to the back of the class & silently watch as the other teams face off.

His world is actively falling apart around him. For so long he was a big fish in a little pond. He was popular, he was powerful, he was looked up to and admired by adults and peers for his strength. He was talked up so high & told he was so special that for him to be anything other than the best was unthinkable. And yet, here was his childhood rival beating him in a test of strength and wits in front of their mentor and idol. And immediately following him was the son of the #2 hero showing his own display of brute strength & passing All Might’s test without batting an eye through the sheer power of his quirk

Bakugou is so incredibly saddened and shocked by the experience that he gives up, which is something he has never done in his entire life. Midoriya has to walk out after him once the test is over and ask him why he’s leaving, at which point Bakugou confesses, with tears in his eyes, crying, showing weakness in front of Deku, that he cannot keep up. That for once he is below someone and he cannot handle the feeling of failure that accompanies him not being number one.

He gets over this, being motivated by both Midoriya & All Might to continue. But nonetheless, this is the first instance we see of Bakugou showing genuine fear & hopelessness for his future because he realizes he is not as great as he thinks he is. For him, there is no greater fear for him to face than for him to acknowledge the fact he is not perfect. He is flawed, there are things for him to learn and people he must learn them from and experiences he must go through before he can be number one, and that reality terrifies him. He sees it as nothing but endless opportunities for him to fail. So he determinedly puts on a brave face and screams at Midoriya and All Might that he will be number one no matter what it takes, that he will rise above everyone, even if it kills him. (Which of course it damn near does considering he is fucking kidnapped by villains impressed with his strength/power)

NOW ON TO THE ABUSE PART OF ALL THIS BECAUSE HOLY FUCK I CANT BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY OUT THERE SAYING THIS AINT ABUSE & WRITING WHOLE ASS ESSAYS TO DISPROVE MITSUKI AS AN ABUSER ONLY SO THEY CAN WRITE HIM OFF AS A ONE DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER/ASSHOLE TROPE

Abuse is not only physical, and to dismiss emotional/mental abuse as not “real” abuse or merely “tough love” makes you an abuse apologist, sorry not sorry.

The feeling I get from the few interactions we’ve had with Mitsuki, and the times Bakugou has mentioned his home life, is that the abuse he faces is overwhelmingly mental/emotional. He does, however, suffer some physical abuse too, which is essentially confirmed in this new chapter, it’s just unlike the abuse Todoroki suffers from.

Todoroki’s abuse is blatant, its beatings, starvation, intense physical regimes, etc. The abuse Bakugou suffers is far more subtle and sadly enough, far more common. The abuse he is subjected too is what most of y’alls parents probably just call “good parenting” or parenting the old fashioned way, aka when most peoples parents were shit & everyone thought it was cool to beat their kids into submission & scream at them for hours and hours over simple things. (Sadly, a product of hypermasculinity and misogyny being the overarching influences in parenting tactics, especially in households with a male head. In this case, however, Mitsuki, a woman, is the abuser. So most of y’all tryna ignore it like women can’t be abusive, or violent how men can).

Her physical abuse most likely differs drastically from Endeavors as well. Parents who genuinely believe themselves to not be abusive, but just tough on their kids because they love them or whatever, rarely hit their kids as openly as Endeavor hits Todoroki. We see her slap him on the back of the head, which in another situation & with more context, could be taken as playful, not abusive. But again, all depending on the force of the hit, the intent behind it, how often these sorts of things, occur, and if Bakugou is comfortable with it. How he responds indicates that he does not like it. Therefore she is laying her hands on him in a violent manner, obviously without consent.

A parent or not, “disciplining” your child or not, that is wrong. And I’m more than positive it happens frequently and in different ways after the new chapter. She is most likely a believer in spanking, which do NOT even get me started on that (my parents literally used to tell me I was fucking lucky to get beat with a belt and not an electric cord), spanking is abuse and I don’t wanna fucking hear it isn’t. You shouldn’t feel the need to beat your kids in any way shape or form to get them to listen to you. She also probably digs her nails into his arm or some shit when he says something she doesn’t like in public, or just generally is rough with him when she disagrees.

Mentally/emotionally she does not come off as the type to apologize to a child, admit she is wrong to a child, or have a rational conversation with her child rather than beating them. Again, since when has Bakugou himself ever done those things? (and according to Horikoshi, we all know he is a carbon copy of her before entering yuuei).

Gaslighting is when the abuser places blame on a victim by making them question themselves or attributing the situation to some imaginary fault of the victim. In this instance Mitsuki blames Bakugou for his own kidnapping, calling on his supposed weakness as the source of the problem.

She not only BLAMES Bakugou for his kidnapping, calling him weak and pathetic, but does so in front of his teachers, his idols, degrading him in front of the very people he wants to impress. And for someone like Bakugou, that is probably one of the biggest hits his ego can take and it is most likely killing him inside from shame and embarrassment.

In fact, I KNOW it is because we later see him TELL Midoriya that he blames himself for All Might’s fall. He thinks he was too weak to handle the villains and so he had to be saved (something he hates having to admit) which lead to All Might’s battle with All for One and eventual retirement as a hero. He literally takes his mothers words and internalizes them to the point of breaking & then expresses them the only way he knows how: violence, by fighting Midoriya.

So not only do we have concrete evidence of emotionally abusing him by calling him names intended to hurt him, but also of her mentally abusing him by placing the blame on him, causing him to question himself & his capabilities/role in the situation. She makes him genuinely believe that he should have been able to do something about the traumatic experience of being kidnapped by a group of known murders…. uuuuuhhhh does that scream totally normal parent to you? She is not even remotely concerned for his safety…. only how it looks, only with how weak he is. Does that um, cough cough endeavor cough, remind you of anyone? No? Okay.

Which back to Bakugou and Todoroki, this new chapter killed me because Todoroki is a sweetheart and he really knows what he went through was fucked up. I can see him trying to get Bakugou to understand in the future that violence is not the way to get what you want in life, no matter how small the act, hurting someone, emotionally, mentally, or physically is not how you get people to do what you want or agree with you. Even though that’s all Bakugou has ever known, he just never recognized it as morally wrong the way Todoroki did, most likely because it was much more subtle & normalized in Bakugou’s household.

That all being said…. Bakugou has made many mistakes and I’m not kidding when I say he is a carbon copy of Mitsuki. I don’t want to go so far as to call what he does to Midoriya abuse because that implies a fundamental misunderstanding of his character in my opinion, but like…. bottom line… he abuses & bullies Midoriya severely.

Bakugou is a classic case of an abuse victim turning into an abuser. However, he is a child, unlike Mitsuki. He was raised by someone who taught him that abuse is okay and normal. He has not yet matured or been able to view life through any other lenses. His parents have failed in teaching him healthy coping mechanisms, other adult influences in his life, such as previous teachers, have never discouraged his behavior either, therefore he merely copies what he knows. So I understand him not knowing any other ways to deal with someone like Midoriya, his antithesis, and rival.

In sociology this semester we learned about a famous poem by Dr. Dorothy Law Nolte, a family counselor & writer. The poem focuses on the ways in which children develop due to what circumstances they are raised under. It goes like this:

(Lines bolded reminded me most of Bakugou, lines italicized reminded me most of Izuku, lines with both… reminded me of both)

If children live with criticism, They learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, They learn to fight.

If children live with ridicule, They learn to be shy.

If children live with shame, They learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, They learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, They learn to be patient.

If children live with praise, They learn to appreciate.

If children live with acceptance, They learn to love.

If children live with approval, They learn to like themselves.

(Full poem)

I kid you not in the middle of class all I could think of was Bakugou and Midoriya and how this poem so beautifully contrasted and compared them.

Midoriya is the exact opposite of Bakugou. Where Bakugou is strong, powerful, fierce, influential, popular, admired, confident, loud & aggressive. Midoriya is weak, small, quirkless, quiet, timid, mumbling & stuttering, friendless, self-conscious, and not very vocal. They are completely different in all aspects, Midoriya represents everything Bakugou strives to not be. He is useless, weak in Bakugou’s eyes. Something he has been told his whole life to not be, and thus he does not want to associate with Midoriya.

However, the thing that scares Bakugou most about Midoriya is how much they can relate. They were, after all, friends. Best friends as children, they had the same dreams and shared common interests. Their similarities are only on display even more so as they both get into yuuei and progress throughout the year.

One of the most important moments in Bakugou’s life is when Midoriya reaches out to Bakugou after he falls. Midoriya the small, shy, quirkless kid, asks if Bakugou, the great, powerful, destined to be a hero kid, needs his help. As if that is something he would even want, let alone need.

I’m sorry but no 5 year old is going to get an idea like that on his own, you can see where Mitsuki’s thinking has already taken root, whereas Inko’s teachings have taken root in Midoriya. Up until this point in time, Bakugou was content with just allowing Midoriya to tag along with him, be a follower, quirkless or not. But this instance Bakugou clearly saw as a challenge for leadership, a questioning of authority. At five years old, he is already so distrusting of the sincere intentions of those surrounding him that he makes it his mission to let Midoriya know that he is above him and will not be surpassed by someone so weak.

It just makes me so fucking sad to see how twisted Bakugou’s logic is due to Mitsuki & the constant almost coddling of his ego that adults in his life have encouraged endlessly. It really isn’t until he meets Aizawa that an adult makes an effort to change that mindset in him. And slowly but surely, along with the help of Bakugou’s probably first real genuine friends that he views as equals and not just tagalongs, he is beginning to change his thinking & learn from his mistakes. Kirishima, Sero, Kaminari, and Ashido are all a wonderful influence on him and I genuinely think with their advice & trust he will be able to change his ways in the future, along with the guidance of All Might and Aizawa.

And let’s not forget Midoriya, he needs to apologize to him, sincerely, and because he wants to, not because he is pressured into it by anyone. I have high hopes for him and his future relationship with Midoriya, but I don’t think it’ll be possible for them to be best friends again. I just hope Bakugou can realize that he was wrong for treating Midoriya the way he did when they were growing up and can put aside his ego for five minutes to correct his wrongs as best he can. I’m sure it will be in the far far future though because he still has a lot of growing and learning to do. No one is going to just be able to put aside an almost decade-long hatred for someone & admit they were in the wrong, over the course of a year. But still… I have hopes.

All in all, I really really love Bakugou. I have some extremely parental feelings towards him having seen all the shit he has gone through & the many failings he has endured from the adults surrounding him. I just want for him to embrace his friends and place at yuuei and change his behaviors so that he can be easier on himself & others. He deserves to feel that sort of peace.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Bakugou Katsuki is deserving of love, friends, second chances, and a shot at redemption.

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harmoniaroyallineage · 6 years

Text

An Analysis of Ghetsis Harmonia Gropius and the Reasoning for this AU

May add to if I note something in further research

From my personal research, I believe Canon!Ghetsis is a psychopath.

Let’s go through this point by point.

Ghetsis is a liar

Ghetsis is known to be a rather charming man. He has convinced people such as the Seven Sages to join in his cause. Of course, they were oblivious to his true intentions at first. For example, Rood. He truly believed he was fighting only for the liberation of Pokémon. This is also shown in some of the dialogue of grunts.

His speeches are also shown to be well thought out. It has people questioning if what they’re doing is truly right and if they should side with Team Plasma. Here is part of his speech in Accumula Town:

"...I am here representing Team Plasma. Today, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to talk to you about Pokémon liberation. I'm sure most of you believe that we humans and Pokémon are partners that have come to live together because we want and need each other. However... Is that really the truth? Have you ever considered that perhaps we humans... only assume that this is the truth? Pokémon are subject to the selfish commands of Trainers... They get pushed around when they are our ‘partner’ at work... Can anyone say with confidence that there is no truth in what I'm saying?”

Observe his speech carefully. He presents the tradition of coexistence with Pokémon and makes people question if this is the right way. One line I was to make note of is the bolded line. Ghetsis is claiming that Trainers are using and abusing their Pokémon through training and battles. This is twisted info. On the surface, this looks like the case. However, the games in general make note how Pokémon enjoy being captured and love to be with their Trainers. Hell, in one game (I cant remember which one message me if you know where this was said), an NPC says that Pokémon only jump out at Trainers because they wish to be captured.

This is one example of Ghetsis twisting the truth to further his plans and get more supporters for his false cause. His cause in itself is insincere. He claims he wants to free Pokémon to better Pokémon but it is later revealed to be a lie. He wants to take control of Unova with Pokémon.

Insincere speech is common with psychopaths. They lie and twist info to get what they want. Lying is very easy for psychopath has it is like a second nature. They can lie with a straight face and show no regret. Ghetsis is shown to show no regret for his actions and lies constantly. This lying even started Team Plasma.

Ghetsis is defiantly not trustworthy as he is seen twisting info and straight up lying to further advance his goals.

Ghetsis is narcissistic

There is no issue in taking pride in your work and yourself but Ghetsis takes it much further. After being defeated by Hilda/Hilbert, he says:

"What?! I created Team Plasma with my own hands. I'm absolutely perfect! I AM PERFECTION! I am the perfect ruler of a perfect new world!"

He claims he is perfect and progresses to say that he is perfection itself. I want to give special attention to the bolded line as it really struck me. It shows how Ghetsis sees himself. To be perfect is to be without flaws. However, humans would not be humans if we didn’t have flaws. This leads me to believe that Ghetsis doesn’t wish to be just a ruler. I believe that Ghetsis wishes to be treated like a God. Take any religion and you’ll see how people view their respective god(s). Typically, people view their gods as perfect and that they can’t do any wrong. This is what Ghetsis thinks of himself. He thinks that what he is doing is right and how nothing will be fixed if he is not worshipped like the god he wants to be.

Some psychopaths can be shown to be overconfident. For example, they may claim they are a world-class swimmer. Ghetsis may be an extreme case of this as he doesn’t just believe it. He will do anything to make others see how perfect he is. In BW2 in the Plasma Frigate, he says

“The terrified people and Pokémon will bow at Team Plasma's...no...at MY feet!"

He holds a great desire for power and he wants to have people bow to him. At this point, he holds very little regard for Plasma. Keep in mind that in BW2, Ghetsis seems to have lost some of his mental stability.

Ghetsis lacks empathy

One of the telltale signs of a psychopath is the lack of empathy and the ability to connect with people. Ghetsis has been shown to lack empathy on multiple occasions.

Look at his Hydregion. In BW2, his Hydregion knows Frustration. Frustration is the counterpart of Return where the lower the happiness, the higher power it will have. This shows that Ghetsis holds little regard for his own Pokémon, his partners. He doesn’t care about them. He only sees them as tools and will even hurt them to get them to achieve what he wants.

Ghetsis seeing living things as tools is a common thing. Let’s focus on one specific character: Natural Harmonia Gropius.

N was a boy taken in by Ghetsis to be raised as a king for Team Plasma. While this may seem nice, it isn’t when you realize that N was emotionally abused.

Concordia make note of how N was brought up in BW:

“N has been separated from people since he was young. He was brought up with Pokémon... Pokémon that were betrayed, mistreated and hurt by bad people... Ghetsis deliberately brought only those poor Pokémon closer to N. N was touched by their plight, and started pursuing idealsB/the truthW, thinking only of Pokémon. N's heart is pure and innocent. But there is nothing more beautiful and terrifying than innocence."

This shows that Ghetsis groomed him to believe what he believed in to help push for his goal. I want to make note of the bolded line. What Concordia says is very true. N was a naive and innocent child. He still is innocent due to his sheltering. While it may be beautiful to have someone like him still believe that the world can be sunshine and rainbows, it is also terrifying as it leaves him vulnerable and easily manipulated. Ghetsis knew this and used it to his advantage. I see Ghetsis as the kind of parent who would pay little mind to N unless he got out of line. Ghetsis is implied to spoil N if we look at his room. I feel that such items were only given to keep N quiet and away.

His room seems to be a symbol of stunted maturity. By BW, N should at least be older than 18. At that time, he should have altered his room to more resemble a bedroom. But he didn’t. It leads me to believe that he never truly grew up. He probably still has the mentality of a child. Ghetsis isn’t helping either. I feel Ghetsis is contributing to this as he wants N to be completely dependent on him. By doing this, Ghetsis’ little puppet will always be around to assist his father.

I would elaborate on Ghetsis’ lines to N when he fails but I think “you good for nothing boy” and “a freak without a human heart” are self explanatory. He doesn’t feel an ounce of love for his son. Why didn’t I say adoptive son? Well...

Headcanons on Canon!Ghetsis

A lot of the events in my AU happen in canon for my headcanons. The deaths of his wife and mother, the betrayal of his father, etc. Things play out different though.

Ghetsis would have been the son of a Pokémon breeder. She gifted him his Deino turned to Hydregion. From a young age, he would have shown his lack of care for others. Hurting kids, lying to his mother, etc. After his mother’s death, he inherited her life insurance. Virgil would try to leech off of Ghetsis but Ghetsis would push him away once learning the truth.

Lucina was simply a pawn. He had the idea for Plasma but he needed an heir. He charmed his way into Lucina’s heart and married her to have said heir. The first birth was Anthea and Concordia whom he wasn’t pleased with. It took 7 years due to miscarriages before N was born. She died an hour after his birth. She wanted to name him Natsu but Ghetsis did not honor her last wish and gave him the name of Natural.

He would abandon N to later retrieve him to make himself look good in N’s eyes. To make N hurt if he tried to betray him.

Once upon a time, he tried to fix himself. But after his mother’s death, he stopped caring and became what he is now.

AU Reasoning

The whole basis of the AU is based on two major differences:

Ghetsis is born royalty

Ghetsis was not born a psycopath

This allows Ghetsis to properly feel and express certain emotions. However, all the bad events in his life has lead him to depression. He has an unhealthy way of showing it by assuring himself he’s perfect and that he’s fine. He may say it but he doesn’t truly believe it. He thinks he’s flawed, he’s terrible and that he will never amount to anything and that he himself is a pawn to all of Unova. He doesn’t say anything though because all of Unova is watching. He just has to smile and wave.

I wanted to try to play a character who struggles with emotions he has to hide. With Canon!Ghetsis, this is impossible due to his lack of empathy for others. I wanted Anthea, Concordia and N to have a happy life and to experience a childhood they never seemed to have.

Of course their lives are not without flaws. AU!Ghetsis is shown to be scared of letting his children out his sight and he’s very controlling. A little inspiration was Lusamine SM. It’s tamed down though.

With Ghetsis being my favorite character, I just wanted to see what would happen if I took the strings and messed with his psyche to better the lives of the kids. The AU was mostly made to make the kids happen. However, this causes Ghetsis to suffer. He would never let his kids see it though. Their happiness is more important than his.

#mun post #Ghetsis Harmonia #headcanon

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cchie · 7 years

Text

Redd Blaze’s Big Ol’ Honkin’ Questionnaire

A. Psychology

What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera… Redd is an ESFP for sure. “The Entertainer”. Friendly, playful, enthusiastic, energetic, helpful.

What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera… Chaotic Good. Redd isn’t super selfish so she isn’t Chaotic Neutral, and she’s not evil.

Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it? I’m sure Redd has ADHD and used to have anger issues. She also has depression but has been getting better about it.

Are they a pessimist or an optimist? Optimist! She used to be a pessimist but ever since escaping her father with Ducky, she’s become a brighter person.

Are they good at handling change in their life? She doesn’t really know how to approach it at first but eventually goes with the flow. She likes change and embraces it after the initial warm up

Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”

Oh, Redd is never wrong. She’s very certain about everythng, except for the things she’s uncertain of, in which case she will still determine something definite about it.

Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted? Redd doesn’t get embarassed easily. She cries a lot and doesn’t think it’s an overreaction and actually believes it is a sign of strength. Redd isn’t startled easily but when she is, she’s not embarassed and rather laughs it off and thinks it was awesome.

Is your OC a martyr? I mean, I guess? She took all of her younger brother Ducky’s beatings for him since she didn’t want him to get hurt. So in a way she did sacrifice a lot of herself for his safety.

Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others? Oh, absolutely. Ms. Blaze doesn’t ever mean it in a manipulative or harmful way, she just does so to keep everyone happy.

Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily? Hell no. Compromising with her is extremely difficult when it comes to the important things. When it comes to smaller stuff, it’s super easy to please her.

Does your OC put others’ needs before their own? Yes. Absolutely. If she cares about you, she will do anything for you. She has a very fierce love. She’ll take a hit for you, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves? Redd gets high off adrenaline. She’s the SHSL Daredevil, so naturally, she would be. There have been times where Ducky has come to Redd about some of her stunts as he grew older, but he would reluctantly step off once Redd’s fierce determination shined way too bright.

Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from? Redd actually has trypophobia. It’s a fear of irregular holes, cracks, etc. It freaks her out because it reminds her of the abuse her father put her through and also, it’s just plain terrifying.

Is your character empathetic? Yes! She doesn’t always seem it though. Once she understands the exact emotion someone is feeling, it clicks in her head.

Is your character observant? God, not really at all. She’s too busy in her own world to pay attention to details and small unimportant things.

Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first? Oh, she absolutely has to go through her own trials. Really, the only person she listens to is Ducky, and sometimes Reed or December. She’s too stubborn to listen to anybody else.

What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves? Saving Ducky.

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do? Not really. She’s pretty confident. She’ll only get jealous over loving parents and geniuses. Even then it’s more of a wistful jeaousy rather than a malicious jealousy.

What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood? People who are mean for no reason. Abusive parents. Being told what not to do.

Are they harsh on themselves? It depends. Physically, yes, but she can handle it. Emotionally, sometimes. But she always finds a way to deal with it.

Do they make excuses often? I mean, I answered this question earlier.

Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why? Generally attractive. She’s a strong, well-figured redhead. Her confidence also helps.

Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it? She always feels confident no matter what she’s wearing. She could be wearing a banana suit and still feel absolutely comfortable and like she’s killing it.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it? Redd tries to overcome being told what to do most of the time, hence her SHSL Ability. She knows she’s incredibly stubborn and wants to work on that a bit more. She also knows that she needs to get a handle on her emotions because of things she’s done in the past.

B. Social

Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it? Redd firmly believes in giving respect to get it. If you don’t show it, why should you get it? This was ahuge factor with her father and her hatred towards him, aside from all of the abuse.

Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly? Oh, most definitely. She doesn’t complain loudly about it though because she understands that the workers are trying their hardest. She’s just frustrated with the speed of things since she’s always on the move.

Under what situations would they get angry at servers, staff, customer service, et cetera? The only time Redd would ever get mad over someone in food service was if they were blatantly discriminating against somebody, or treating children like shit. She would also say something if she noticed a manager being particularly hard on their employees.

Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip? Tipping has always confused Redd. There’s something about a rule for 20% or something? She doesn’t know. She just gives a hefty amount since she has quite a bit of money from the stunts she does. When Ducky got older, he taught her that tips are generally given based off of the quality of service. But the thing is, Redd always thinks the quality is great and continues to tip a large amount of money.

Do they hold doors open for people? Yeah! If she sees somebody is walking her way, she’s very polite and holds open the door. Especially if it’s older people or children. She knows how rude some people are and refuses to be like that intentionally.

Would your OC let someone ahead of them in line if your OC had a big cart and the person behind them had very few items? Hmmm, this is hard. On one hand she woudn’t want to because in fairness, she got there first, and she’s all about speed. But I think if somebody asked her if they could go in front, she would let them.

How do they respond to babies crying in public? She runs over to try to cheer them up by making funny faces and holding them. She tries to remember that she needs to ask the child’s parents if she can hold them and throw them up in the air, but it’s hard because she just gets so excited.

Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny? She is considered funny! The people who played in the campaign I created her in loved her. She thinks she’s frigging hilarious. Even if her jokes don’t make any sense.

What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM… Redd finds almost everything funny. Scare pranks crack her up but she doesn’t like the ones where the person gets genuninely upset. Slapstick can be pretty hilarious to her but, really, almost anything can crack her up.

Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t? She hates that kind of humor. It’s not funny if somebody is getting genuinely hurt.

Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late? She doesn’t really let them know unless she remembers. She’s very forgetful. She doesn’t lie about why she’s late. Redd is very blunt and open about things. “Yeah, I was late because I was too busy sleepin’! Sorry!”

Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do? I mean, she’ll eat it anyways. Can’t let food go to waste. Redd will eat just about anything, she’s not a picky eater.

Do they have a large or small group of friends? Large. She makes friends wherever she goes. She has a lot of love to give and passion to show.

Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves? As of right now, occaisonally Ducky. Sometimes she’ll initially lie about how she deals with things and Ducky sees right through it, so then she’ll open up and apologize.

Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..? YES. She loves them. She gets to make more friends, be her obnoxious self, and show off. Plus, there’s almost always free food.

Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix? Center of attention. She doesn’t mind being more in the mix, but when se does, she accidentally makes it about herself. Her loudness is a great factor to this.

C. Morality

Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it? Redd is a very morally grey character. She’ll drink alcohol despite being underage, but she won’t do drugs because that’s bad. Redd has a very upright moral code, but once murdered a acquaintance to save her little brother, and tried to get away with it. She also beat the shit out of her father because of his incessant abuse, believing she left him for dead. Redd believes in justice and getting what you deserve. She bases her actions off of these things: will this hurt someone, do they deserve it, will I get hurt, will this affect Ducky negatively, and what would Ducky think?

Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it? Redd felt incredily guilty about murdering December in order to save Ducky. She confessed immediately after getting caught and regretted taking an innocent life. She knows it was wrong, but would probably do it all over again if she had to.

Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own? Not necessarily. She doesn’t mind being friends with people who are completely different form her. Really the only basis she has for being around people is that they aren’t jerks who hurt people.

Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser? Redd thinks she’s a god reincarnated. She knows she’s dangerous, attractive, and physically superior. She doesn’t think so in a shallow way, but more in confidence. She thinks she’s the best. Because she has to.

Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational? This is tricky. But in the end, they would go out the window for her. SHe would know it isn’t right, but wants survival of the fittest.

What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so? If she sees somebody doing this, she will immediately give them both. She always carries cash and woud go to the nearest place and buy them a meal. She knows the world can be rough.

Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort? Redd believes people can change over time, but is very hesitant to believe it firsthand with people who have done wrong. She’s very hypocritical when it comes to this.

Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical? I mean, she doesn’t really give a shit. She doesn’t have too many expectations and goes with the flow.

D. Religion and Life and Death

How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general? Redd isn’t religious. She doesn’t practice and she thinks religion is a little silly, but respects people’s beliefs and finds them pretty neat.

Do they believe in an afterlife? She doesn’t, but she hopes it exists. It doesn’t make sense to her as a concept, but she wants to be able to continue existing somewhere, especially if her loved ones will also be there.

How comfortable are they with the idea of death? She’s comfortable with it but doesn’t want to die until she’s ready. Redd gets sad when people she dies and she takes it hard, but she knows and understands it’s a natural thing and tries to cope via those beliefs.

Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be? Redd would absolutely take that offer up. I feel like she would love to be immortal, but would only hesitate because then that meant she would have to continue to exist without her loved ones. So actually, she wouldn’t! The desire to be with her loved ones is stronger than her desire to do everything in the world there is to do.

Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible? She does believe in ghosts. Everything has energy, and energy can neither be created or destroyed, so somebody’s existence has to go somewhere, right?

E. Education and Intelligence

Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree? Hahahaha, Redd is surprisingly intelligent in some aspects, but otherwise, she’s very simple, to put it plainly. She can definitely be an idiot and not understand or get a lot of things, but she’s smart in other areas.

Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera) Bodily-kinesthetic is most definitely her strongest. Her weakest would probably be logical-mathematical or lingustic. She doesn’t understand math as well as she wishes she did, and she’s not great with words. Redd speaks with malapropisms.

How many languages do they speak? A lot! Whether she gets all of the words and pronounces them correctly, is another question.

Did they enjoy school if they went to it? Redd enjoyed Hope’s Horizon but often slept in academic classes that bored her. She was too hyper for everything else that if the class couldn’t keep her focused, she would just sleep or eat.

What’s their highest education level? Do they want to continue their education? She eventually graduated from Hope’s Horizon, but didn’t go to college right away. She took a break for quite a few years until Ducky pushed her to attend college and get a degree. Although she wasn’t super open to it, she wanted to please Ducky. And when Ducky said, “Yeah? Well I dare you to go to college”, well, she just simply couldn’t refuse.

Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education? Redd loves learning about different things as long as they excite her. If they don’t, she doesn’t seek it out. If someone starts teaching her about something boring, she’ll try her best to get out of it or loudly proclaim “SNOOZEEE” if it’s a snore-fest.

Are they a good note-taker? Are they a good test-taker? Do exams make them nervous? No, no, and yes. Taking tests has never been her strong suit and she’ll just goof around and guess.

What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets? Leaving her father alive, but also letting her emotions control her in that moment.

F. Domestic Habits, Work, and Hobbies

What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there? After escaping her abusive father, Redd purchased a mansion to accomodate to her and Ducky. She ran away and looked for an abandoned house to stay at for just a day or two. Luckily, she found a giant, red mansion. She contacted the agent and bought it off.

What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it? The home she has right now is her ideal home. It’s in a large secluded area so that her and Ducky can have some peace and quiet for once.

Could they ever live in a “tiny home”? Nope. Redd takes up to much room and needs the space to run, move about, stretch, etc.

How clean are they overall with home upkeep? Not very clean at all. When she remembers to clean, she tries realy hard, but it ends up still looking very messy. Her idea of cleaning is putting things into “organized” piles.

How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera? Redd can be pretty handy, but she usually is the one accidentally breaking whatever needs fixing. She’ll usually come to Piper or Ducky if something needs fixing. If neither are available, she’ll resort to Google and epically fail at the instructions and somehow create something entirely new. Or get it to work but in a very bizarre and unrecedented way.

How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it? Redd’s full time job is as the SHSL Daredevil. She loves doing action-y things, stunts, dares, etc. It’s her life.

What’s their “dream career” or job situation? She has it! Travelling the world, meeting people, eating good food, and doing dangerous things.

How often are they home? As often as she can be. She likes coming home because it’s the first place that feels like home. But for the most part, she’s out and about.

Are they homebodies and enjoy being home? Not a homebody, but does enjoy being at home. She loves spending time with Ducky and inviting friends over to her mansion to play games, work out, swim, etc.

Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are? Redd doesn’t do art! She thinks art is beautiful and music is too, but she doesn’t know how to do either of them. She’ll participate when she feels like it but gets just a little dscouraged when it doesn’t come out as great as she wanted it to.

What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most? Anything extreme? Redd will love. Skateboarding, shark tanks, skydiving. But she secretly likes spending time doing what Ducky likes the most.

Would they enjoy a theme park? She would LOVE theme parks, but kicked out of some of them for reacting certain ways and trying to do dangerous things.

G. Family and Growing Up

Is your OC close to their family? Only Ducky. Her father was a real piece of shit and her mother left when she was very young, never to be seen again. Ducky is her life. She protects him and wants to make sure he grows up normally.

Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them? Her and her little brother Ducky.

Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not? She finds Ducky very supportive! She relies on him a lot.

What kind of childhood did your OC have? A very terrible one. Her father would get drunk and beat her. When Ducky was born, she had to take care of him because herfather would just drink and watch tv and go to work. When Ducky was a toddler, her father realized he had somebody else he could take his anger out on. When he first swung his fist at Ducky, Redd’s eyes widened in fear and anger and she jumped in front of Ducky, taking the hit for him. Ever since then, she made sure Ducky was never home alone with him and took every hit and blow intended for him.

Did they go through any typical phases growing up? Not really. Redd didn’t get to have any typeof typical childhood she she grew up very differently.

Do they have any favorite childhood memories? When she took Ducky to the movies for the first time. He was so excited and she was so happy she could treat him to it.

Do they have any childhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by? LOL. Redd wishes she could forget all the times her father scarred and burned her. She has long scars and burn marks from the abuse all over her back, arms, legs, stomach, etc. Most places where people can’t see. She used to wear long sleeves and jeans so nobody would notice. Once she ran away, she started becoming more comfortable in shorts and short sleeved shirts. She wishes she could forget her father, but uses her scars and marks to remind herself of her dedication and protectiveness.

H. Romance and Intimacy

What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation? Redd is pansexual and panromantic. She’s always been sure of having all types of love but was initially confused as to why her father hated gay people. She thought it was a bad thing. She soon realized it wasn’t and came to grips with it. Redd is also polyamorous but doesn’t mind being monogamous if her partner is.

Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover? Yes! Redd is very thoughtful, but a bit awkward at first. She’ll always try and make sure her and her partner(s) have fun and feel loved. In the beginning she’ll forget things and events but eventually she’ll start traingin herself to set reminders.

Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right? No! She’s polyamorous and believes that whatever feels right to the person, that’s how it is. If someone feels there’s only 1 person for them, then there is! If someone believes there are 3 people for them, then there is!

Does your OC believe in love in first sight? She does. She loves love.

Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)? In a way, not really. She believes in the legal advantages of marriage but doesn’t believe marriage is the be-all end-all. Although, a wedding would allow for good food, loud music, and loved ones.

Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on? She has never cheated on anybody and she has not ben cheated on. You better pray you don’t cheat on her.

What do they look for in partners? (Emotionally, mentally, physically..) Someone who is fun and appreciates her for who she is. If they are cool with her, then she’s down.

What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date? She doesn’t really have one. She’s perfectly content with whatever they do together. But I guess if I had to say something, good food and an adventure of some kind.

What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners? Abusive and intentionally mean people.

I. Food

What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera? Redd loves salty and spicy foods. Creamy weirds her out a little bit, but she loves food and is willing to eat anything.

Do they have any eating requirements or preferences? Allergies, vegetarian, organic-only, religious restrictions… Nope! Redd requires meat in every meal just because of preference but she’s not allergic to anything.

Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances? She could never. Meat is like oxygen to her. She thinks it’s wrong but doesn’t think about it too much.

How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot? Redd is never allowed to cook. She’s too attention defecit and forgetful and bad with directions. She orders out A LOT.

Are they a good cook? See above.

Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly? Absolutely. She eats steak and bacon almost every day.

J. Politics, Current Events, Environmental Aspects

Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most? Redd is more on the left side of the spectrum.

How politically aware are they? Redd is surprisingly politically aware. She used to pay no attention to things like that becase she didn’t think it affected her. But traveling has opened her eyes and now she is more open to it.

How politically active are they? Redd will absolutely fight for rights and take place in marches. She’ll go to protests and be the loudest one there.

Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong? Ducky is her source of correct information, and Violet and Jack as well. In fact, there’s a group chat dedicaed just to Redd linking articles to them asking about teir credibility.

Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about? Absolutely. Redd is a very passionate woman and won’t back down for what she believes in. She would have certainly marched in the Women’s March.

How do they react to people whose political viewpoints are very opposite of theirs? Not well. She’s not very open-minded in that aspect and will get in their face about if they even show ANY sign of agression.

How much interest in environmental health do they have? She is interested but not as interested as she could be.

In reality-based or applicable worlds, do they believe in global warming? Do they recycle? Yes! She tries to be aware but often forgets. She does indeed believe in global warming.

L. For the Writer/Owner

How have your characters changed since you created them? Originally, I was going to have Redd be a little more serious. But then I decided to make her this lovable ginat goofball. I really love the archetype of dangerous girls who could kill you, but have a big heart and are dorks.

What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any? My biggest themes with her are action, overcoming abuse, and love.

Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you? This is hilarious because me and Redd have a lot in common. Each OC of mine takes parts of myself and I create and add things to them. Redd takes my passion and what I wish I could be. She’s like an extroverted me. She has my dedication and stubbornness as well. However, she’s more blunt, more extroverted, more active, etc.

Would you hang out with your OC if you could? PLEASE. I would love to hang out with her. She would be great.

How did you come up with your OC? @thores came up with a tabletop RPG for a Danganronpa type game. We had to create three characters, and so Redd was the first character I came up with. I wanted to play a more physical character since most of mine reflect my on physical abilities and comforts. I decided SHSL Daredevil would be pretty cool. I then came up with her personality, found a reference picture, and built her background from there.

#redd blaze #my ocs #damn this questionnaire is long as hell #mine

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vampykitty-kun · 7 years

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The thing is, I get attached to people- something that’s odd in itself because generally I spend the majority of my life avoiding people. But those select few I allow into my life to any sort of degree I really care for.

The parental emotional abuse was bad. My mother pretty much conditioned me to dislike people. Made relationships seem like a lie. One of those memorable things I grew up hearing was that in a relationship there’s always one person whose love is stronger than the other’s, and that they always get hurt. She told me several times throughout my life to not be that person who loves the most. One of several types of situations where she didn’t want me to end up like her so she forced a viewpoint on me that inevitably did more harm than good.

Because unfortunately once you’re told that it’s easy to see that the majority of the time whether a friend or romantic relationship someone does seem to be more enamored than the other. I watched family and friends and all of their relationships only to confirm that theory. Someone was always getting hurt, and the other person could hardly give a shit, like the entire relationship was barely worth a shrug or eyeroll. Granted it’s not always. There are couples very much in love, the kind where they’re still together at 85 and just as in love as they were at 30. There are friendships that last a lifetime. But it’s a sad state of the world that those seem to be the exceptions rather than the rule.

Several of my friend relationships crashed and burned with me being the one who seemed to care the most. As I got older I just stopped putting forth the effort anytime I realized I was the only one putting for the the effort.If I’m always the one calling, texting, IMing, and trying to make plans and they never initiate those things themselves then it’s like I’m being a burden, they don’t actually want to talk to me, or spend time with me. Then it’s confirmed when I stop and suddenly 4 years later they’ve not managed to even say hello when you once thought you were close.

People can be terrible.

I was always viewed as mature. I was a quiet kid. I was always well behaved. I didn’t make trouble in class. My reading level was always way higher than other people in my grade because I always had my nose in a book. I didn’t smoke, I didn’t drink, I didn’t get high. I stayed out of conflict. I didn’t want to be dragged to parties. I didn’t ditch class. When in reality I was just always terrified of getting in trouble, of being yelled at, of becoming my parents, of being stuck in the corner ignored while my friends went on to do things without me even though they were the ones that had a fit until I reluctantly agreed to go somewhere. Flash forward to present day, I’m 27 and while I was always viewed as the mature one, I’m actually pretty emotionally and socially stunted. I don’t know how to be around people. I’m simultaneously more responsible than anyone I know my age or younger but at the same time I’m in a constant state of having to find out how old someone is before I try and make friends- especially online, because it seems as though everyone with the same hobbies and interests are in the 16-25yo range. At 27 this tends to creep the general population out.

Any time in the past that I had any sort of feelings for someone I kept it bottled up, just knowing it would be doomed to failure, so why try? Even when I fell incredibly hard for someone I kept it to myself content to just stay their friend rather than ruin that. Because I valued that person so much i was very willing to have them any way they’d accept me. And the ONE time I tried to date someone it ended with me cheated on- because I wouldn’t put out so early in the relationship, and them sleeping with the person who was my best friend at the time and I’d been friends with for almost 6 years at the time. Cue further damage to my trust in friend and romantic relationships. I was 20yo at that time. I didn’t show any interest in anyone prior to that date, and never seriously tried to pursue a relationship in the 7 years after that. There were temptations sure. I’m not dead. But again that mentality of thinking nothing will ever work stops me.

But you know? That gets unbelievably lonely.

I miss long chats in person, on the phone, over messages.

I miss sitting on the couch watching movies and shows with someone, commenting back and forth on the plot, and laughing together when things get hilarious.

I miss sitting around and drawing with someone next to me doing the same, or reading, and just two people existing in the same room and taking comfort in that.

I miss having someone to dote on. I loved baking for people, cooking meals for them, taking them fun places, buying them things they wanted just so I could see them smile. I miss passing out on the couch or on my bed with someone without it being weird.

I both avoid people and miss them.

It’s like, I want to get to know people, whether online or in person and be close friends with someone again. I’d really enjoy being in a romantic relationship, if any of those friendships ever moved to something more- but the other party would have to initiate it otherwise I’d carry on forever thinking feelings were one-sided like they often were in the past. I don’t even need a sexual relationship. I could be 100% happy in a romance based ace relationship and never have any regrets. But I could be in a romantic relationship that later developed a sexual relationship too. I’m just entirely put off by sex based relationships.

Idk, I’m just feeling particularly mopey and lonely at the moment and am venting, there’s no need to really pay me any mind. Just helps to get it out there from time to time.

It’s probably hilarious that I can write fluff and smut until the end of days but I can’t put it to function use XD

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southparkcoven · 7 years

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Accepted - Kyle Broflovski

Mun Information

NAME: Abel AGE: 22 PRONOUNS: They/Them TIMEZONE: BST RP EXPERIENCE: Coming up to about 10+ years roughly. As Kyle, it’s been about half of that. ACTIVITY LEVEL: I’m a third year university student trying to secure my degree so if I’m not posting on tumblr, you can catch me on discord being active. OTP/NOTP: Cryle (Craig x Kyle) is my OTP for Kyle. It’s underappreciated, but works very well when done right. I don’t really have a NOTP for Kyle, but I guess I really love Style (Stan x Kyle) as best bros! DISCORD: Cosmicvoyance#8937 ANYTHING ELSE: Please don’t roleplay or reblog any animal abuse or neglect!

Muse Information

NAME: Kyle Broflovski AGE: 17 GENDER: Cis-male SEXUALITY: Bisexual BIRTHDAY: 26th May 2000 OCCUPATION: Student | Apothecary Assistant SPECIES: Witch POWER: Telekinesis CHARACTER APPEARANCE:

Face Claim: Matthew Clavane Puberty has relaxed Kyle’s once tightly knit curls into loose ringlets, that either drape to the nape of his neck, or they get tied up into a messy man bun. His eyes are a hazel green, though more on the brown side; the green is usually not that noticeable unless seen in bright light, or being close enough to get a good look at his eyes in general. He has a few light freckles that do appear during the summer months if South Park is lucky enough to receive some sun, but he tries to avoid this by plastering on a lot of sunscreen, lest he burn.

He still maintains all of his canonical scars from the show, the most obvious of those being the tiny faint outlines around the corners of his mouth from the Human CentiPad. His diabetes has put him in rather poor health, making Kyle quite thin, but relatively lean. He isn’t that tall, either, after the damaging surgery to his knees in his youth that stunted a bit of his growth, causing him to be stuck at the short stand of 5’7’’.

CHARACTER HISTORY:

Kyle is somewhat aware of his power, though in denial about it. He’s displayed some ability with telekinesis in past episodes of the show, though he contributes those memories to the severe trauma he went through in his youth. Sometimes in the height of emotions, things will randomly fall off his shelf, though again he doesn’t try and attribute it to anything supernatural; the thought terrifies him deep down. He’s been hospitalised after a rather serious diabetic attack during middle school, where his health began taking a rather extreme turn for the whist for a little over a month – he’s more or less recovered, but it’s taken a lot of mental impact on the redhead as a result.

After reaching high school, Kyle began drifting from his usual set of friends and began to engage with more like-minded people who not only shared his classes, but also interests; he’s not as close to the main four as he used to be, as a circumstance of high school pulling them apart. He does miss being able to hang around with Stan especially, though now finds himself within the company of people such as Tweek, Craig, or Wendy.

In terms of family, Sheila has been very overbearing and protective of Kyle since his health scare in middle school; he resents it, despite understanding her concern. As a result he has very rarely been to many high school parties, or really participated much in typical teenage activity – it took Sheila a lot of convincing just for her to allow Kyle to get a part-time job so he could save up some extra money for college. It’s had a profound effect on social experiences as a result.

CHARACTER PERSONALITY:

Positive: Determined, intelligent, intuitive, passionate, decisive

Neutral: Stubborn, judgemental, emotional, independant, altruistic

Negative: Argumentative, hot-headed, self-conscious, impatient, opinionated

MBTI: INFJ

Ennegram: 1w2

Alignment: Lawful Neutral

Being under a lot of stress from trying to maintain his GPA and keep his life in a healthy balance, Kyle generally doesn’t have much patience for bullshit these days. While he’s still prone to bouts of emotionally fuelled anger, a lot of his aggression tends to spill out in sarcastic venom, as he has very little energy to spare now he’s in his senior year.

There is a underlying longing of wanting to break out of his long-standing routine, and the desire for something wild and unpredictable to happen to him, or the town, similar to how it was when he was a kid. Even through the trauma of some of the events, no one really gets comfortable in a normal, mundane life – not even Kyle Broflovski. However, the anxiety and desperate need to constantly be in control has been too overwhelming for him to just let go, and live in the moment as of yet.

ROLEPLAY SAMPLE:

There had to be some sort of bitter irony in working at a natural medicine store; at least, worryingly ironic. The amount of people who bustled into the shop on a day to day basis demanding all sorts of plants and herbs for their natural remedies alarmed the redhead. Alas, he still found himself biting back the urge to blurt out how utterly stupid these new age health theorists were in wasting their cash on a load of bullshit, when their health insurance could probably cover actual medication to help with their backaches.

Yet, he needed the job. Okay, he didn’t need the job, but it was a refreshing break away from the confines of the four dismal walls of his childhood room in the after hours of the school week; a break from the sting of his mother’s piercing wail, and nostril flaring dragon breath. It was worth forcing an overly friendly smile to customers who would idly praise the concoctions and potioncraft over actual medical assistance. Actual. Medical. Resistance. Kyle had never been too good at biting his tongue, but if he forced himself to keep up the reputable customer service appearance, he was pretty certain he’d end up chewing right through the tongue muscle and swallowing his silence.

At least he was able to refill his cup with endless amounts of coffee through the day.

“I asked for a medium to fine grind of the lavender, sir. This is a fine grind, so I’d appreciate a refund, or for you to do it again.” A middle-aged woman with a rather thick city accent complained, holding up her bag of what might as well have been fairydust to Kyle. He’d been in the middle of climbing up the rather unstable wooden ladder to place a different jar back into its resting place, and paused midway. This lady – she always insisted on coming here, and every time she had something to complain about.

With slow steps, the redhead returned back to ground level and approached the front desk with a pained grimace forced upon his lips. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Do you want the refund or the–”

“Ugh. It’s you again. Every time you grind up my herbs, you do it wrong.” She interrupted with a flustered expression, and slammed her cheaply manicured hands down onto the desk. “I’d like to speak to your supervisor instead. You’re messing with my energy…”

Breathe, Kyle. Breathe.Anger bubbled inside him the longer she continued to drabble on, and he dug his nails into the underside of the desk in an attempt to try and release the frustration. The customer was always right. Apparently. Or, whatever they had to be. More like this customer was always a right bitch.

“…and I don’t think some sort of teenage hipster should be bandwagoning on such a sacred method of religion–”

Something snapped in the back of Kyle’s head – yet before he could hurl any verbal abuse her way, something else hurled straight at her instead – the lukewarm remains of Kyle’s half empty coffee mug he’d left on the counter from the start of his shift. Now, the cup was teetering at the edge of the table with the threat of cascading the floor below, and the lady stood there with a gape in her mouth, and drenched in espresso. At least the lavender was fine.

Though, how on earth did the cup manage to douse her in its contents?

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