#distressing/or like. anything that isn't genuinely in good fun

[thesorrowoflizards]

taskmaster is such a funny concept though they really said "okay we force five comedians do increasingly pointless, humiliating, and hilarious tasks, while the host bullies them all mercilessly. also the host's assistant is in a slightly concerning psychosexual dom/sub relationship with him, and gets off on the humiliation. and despite all of this it somehow feels wholesome and not Actually Mean. sometimes a swedish man is there"

#taskmaster #sometimes i say something on discord and then i go 'this isf unny enough to me that i shall post it upon hte blog' #no but really this shit is hilarious. the show i mean not me #and what i really appreciate is it balances the mean humor/humiliation with like. genuinely it never actually feels #distressing/or like. anything that isn't genuinely in good fun #like you never get the sense that its not a good time or that any of them are actually hurt in any way #more than like. you know. losing #you know what i mean? #taskmaster uk

[yuri-is-online]

And in With the New (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasomnia x Yuu)

"Look I would get rid of this thing if I could afford a new sweatshirt." You drag the offensive article of clothing over your head completely missing the spark of curiosity and mischief in your companion's eye. "I've got a lot of bad memories associated with this."

"If it's that uncomfortable we can go look for a replacement instead of-"

"Oh no not like that, it's super comfy. I just don't like it because it technically belongs to my ex."

notes: they/them used for Yuu, their ex is implied to be kind of a shit person, other dorms can be found here (x) Ortho is somewhat included in Idia's part but does not have one of his own.

Kalim- "Do you have any other things from your world?"

Kalim has expressed a desire for you to see as much of Twisted Wonderland as possible, and he stands by that, but it would really suck if the only physical connection you had to your home was something that brought up painful memories. Your past relationship isn't something that makes him jealous, just concerned since it clearly causes you distress. He can wait to get you more appropriate clothing until after he makes sure you're ok. If the sweatshirt really is the only thing you have from home, he'll be asking if there are any foods you remember or activities you liked to do with the people you actually cared about that the two of you can recreate in Twisted Wonderland. That way you won't have to feel the need to hold onto something painful and he gets to make you happy.

Jamil- "Then why didn't you get rid of it before you came here?"

On the one hand he does feel a bit second rate at the thought of you holding onto something form an ex, but his primary concern is the implication that your financial straights have always been this... dire. He definitely wants to know about your previous relationship so he can judge them for how much better he is, but once he notices that the memories are a bit on the traumatic side he stops pushing and feels just the slightest bit guilty. But really, if it's something that hurts you to hold onto then why do it? You aren't him, you don't need to do that, people love you and want to take care of you, him included. He's not going to just give you his hoodie, he would literally die of embarrassment, but he does get you a sweatshirt. If for no other reason than to keep him from staring holes into your back now that he knows where the other one came from.

Vil- "It doesn't suit you at all."

If his treatment of Epel is anything to go by, Vil is not above spending money on something he considers to be a pet project. Not that this... friendship is one of those, nor is he particularly jealous of some no name extra who was too blind to beg on their hands and knees to get back in your good graces. Not that he needs to do that you understand; as arrogant as Vil has a reputation for being, he is one of the people who has been more genuine when expressing concern and gratitude for you. His comment isn't meant to be a slight, clothing that makes you feel bad about yourself is failing to do its job as fashion, and as a world class super model that is unacceptable. In other words get in the car looser we're going shopping.

Rook- "Ah, I thought it was something like that."

Is it bad if he says he meant he hoped it was something like that? Not that he was rooting for your ex to be a bad person, he would never wish a subpar lover on you. But when he saw the tattered edges of your sweatshirt and how it clashed with the things you bought for yourself, he hoped that maybe someone in your world hadn't wanted your hands to be cold. If that's not the case, then if you are ok with letting it go as a lover of romance who is he to deny you your freedom? Granted tossing roses onto a fire while you burn an ugly sweatshirt is both very extra and very Rook but hey. He's having fun and you've got a new jacket.

Epel- "Afford shamford I could'a just made ya one!"

Offering their sweetheart their hoodie is something manly tall guys get to do and Epel has really really REALLY. Been looking forward to getting to that point in his relationship with you. He wants to feel like a real man, like your real man to be specific. The thought of some other piece of shit getting to do that first and treating you like a used dish rag pisses him off. Best believe he is huffing and puffing his way back to Grandma Felmier's boot camp with a mission to do you one and your ex two better by knitting you a pullover to go with your uniform. Everything that comes from Harveston is a top quality product prefect, better than whatever you left behind he guarantees it.

Idia- "So this is that kind of route huh..."

Of course you had a partner back in your world, if he can see your good points then a normie absolutely could. That doesn't make you less appealing, it just makes him feel all that more convinced he doesn't have a chance. He's halfway through whipping out his tablet to excuse himself when Ortho asks what you meant by "shitty memories" and they both get blindsided by just how much vitriol you have for a person whose clothing you technically kept on you. And suddenly he's back in business because there are few things that unite Idia with someone faster than a good old fashion bitch fest. Sure, his insults are weirdly possessive of you, but if he had any doubts about your feelings for this person he doesn't now! He's never heard you talk about anyone like this before and he finds it so attractive he almost forgets to short circuit when Ortho convinces you to try on his hoodie. Almost.

Malleus- "..."

Sometimes he feels like a broken record, constantly marveling at how little fear you have of him, but really child of man, you have no fear. Malleus has very little in the way of emotional intelligence, so he doesn't fully understand that what he is feeling is jealousy he just knows the thought of you with someone else's clothes hurts. Unfortunately for you both, in addition to not being emotionally intelligent he also isn't with the times and there is a non zero percent chance he will be bringing you a cloak and be genuinely confused when you don't immediately replace your old hide for his. (Lilia takes responsibility for that, he was making a joke honest.) Oh? The point was it's supposed to be something he wore so you can feel closer to him when he's gone? Well why didn't you say so child of man, he is more than willing to offer you a scale- what do you mean you can't wear that either?

Lilia- "Oh? Are you asking for one of mine?"

Shame has not been a word in Lilia's vocabulary since long before you showed up prefect. He always buys oversized clothing because of how cute the long sleeves look on him, but oh they would be so much cuter on you prefect, don't you want to see? Oh and while the two of you are at it, why don't you let him paint your nails and do your eye shadow. He's never had one of those slumber party things you humans do, you should make a night of this so you can both get a new experience out of this. He can have a slumber party and you can be the center of someone's world. Also what do you mean you're supposed to summon the devil at these things, he's already here.

Silver- "Would you like one of mine?"

Lilia raised a very good boy who thinks nothing of offering the shirt off his back to save someone in distress. Silver isn't a jealous person by nature, he's more concerned with making sure you are safe and taken care of than he is making sure you don't still have feelings for your ex. Above all else, Silver wants to be a safe space for you to come home to at the end of the day, like a proper knight in shining armor. Though he does have to admit, you look really nice in Diasomnia colors, they're really close to Briar Valley's so if you decide to come and visit he's assures you that you will fit right in. He's sure his father would be very happy to play host. Maybe too happy.

Sebek- "HOW UTTERLY DISGRACEFUL."

You think he's upset at you but he's not, that's made painfully clear with the rant he starts to go on about proper courtship procedure. Offering clothing to someone is supposed to be a sign of high affection, nay eternal devotion! And it suddenly becomes clear to you that Sebek has somehow managed to confuse the concept of a stolen hoodie and a knight's favor. He seems to have managed to convince himself, in the span of two seconds, that you are wearing this not because it is one of your only pieces of clothing, but because your ex convinced you that they're the only one who could love you which IS NOT TRUE. YOU UNDERSTAND HUMAN? DO YOU UNDERSTAAAAAAAAND?

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #vil shoenheit x reader #rook hunt x reader #epel felmier x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #silver x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader

[sweetpea-sprite]

i do think it's really fun how they consistently show oliver building a wall around himself whenever anything fucked up happens to him. he stays in his room for three days after allie dies and leila is so unsure of what to do she just goes into his room to leave him a slice of pie and leaves within ten seconds. he stayed in his room when he got bullied and had to be dragged out of it. when he discovers the truth about allie he stays in a coma and then within the coma IN THE ROOM.

even outside of his bedroom any time anyone's like hey you good he goes yes ^-^ even when it is blatantly untrue. right after he gets out of the soulsnare coma esther is like ARE YOU. OKAY. and he goes me? i'm fine ^-^. when you see alicia in the glittering grotto oliver swears to save her and esther goes "oliver..." and he immediately goes sorry everybody ^-^ and keeps moving. but the most insane example of this comes from dotdd and it's when he is GIVEN DEADLY POISON AND COLLAPSES IN THE STREET AND STOPS BREATHING AND WHEN HE WAKES UP AFTER BEING GIVEN AN ANTIDOTE EVERYONE AROUND HIM GOES HOLY SHIT, OLIVER, ARE YOU ALRIGHT, AND HE GOES haha i was just tired ^-^

the only time he doesn't do this is when he is actively in distress right at that moment. if he's not actively sobbing then baby he's completely fine you have to trust him don't EVEN worry about the tear tracks. actually coming back to this i lied the other time he doesn't do this is specifically to drippy (awww) when he's trying to convince him that we HAVE to break into myrtle's house mr drippy it's the only way because if you hadn't helped ME i would still be shut away! which isn't concerning at all i promise!

it's also worth noting that when the problem concerns other people this does not apply. again this is most noticeable in dotdd (because it's superior) but he has some small moments in wotww. he's also very blunt about other people. does not mince his words. recognised character trait. in dotdd it even nets him a nemesis. but HIMSELF? he gets genuinely pissed off at drippy referring to him as a crybaby and insists it's not true. when helping myrtle drippy even remarks on it as he asks if oliver is crying and oliver snaps at him that he wasn't and he says "so much for you being honest..."

it's just such an underappreciated character flaw of oliver's i think. world's sweetest least emotionally vulnerable boy

#i could write an essay on how this also parallels drippy. but i won't. #rambles #the esther fireside scene is another one where he doesn't /exactly/ shut himself away #but he also doesn't exactly give all the details does he. #and swaine doesn't even GET ONE OF THOSE. we don't see the scene where swaine finds out but he knows what's happening by the soulsnare. #it's also worth noting oliver is A BAD LIAR. and DOES get emotional and teary very easily. #so he just DOESN'T TALK ABOUT THINGS when people KNOW SOMETHING'S WRONG. #forever thinking about that post octo made that's like #'esther and swaine getting context during phil's brokenhearted speech to everything oliver has avoided talking about'

[anokayapple-blog]

Lessons in Being a Fan/in a Fandom

In light of what happened with III and the possibility of Sleep Token no longer making music, I would like to refresh some of us who participate in media and fandom on how to engage with media in a healthy way and keep these artists safe and comfortable in interacting with their fanbase.

Of course, it isn't new for artists and content creators to feel hesitancy in interacting with their fanbases. Taylor Swift has been accused of being queer for a very long time and there are some people in her fandom that still refuse to believe she isn't queer and will become enraged at the suggestion she isn't. There is the rumor that Markiplier and Jacksepticeye don't make videos together anymore/rarely will make videos together because of the Septiplier stuff getting out of hand. So, I'm not saying this is a new behavior for some fans to exhibit, I just want to do my part to try and encourage good behavior among not just other fans, but other people in general.

Things to not Do:

This will be a comprehensive list of things I've seen in most fandoms that i would call "feral" behavior. If you do these things currently, i would highly encourage you to stop. It is not healthy behavior, and it certainly isn't good for you or whoever is on the receiving end.

Doxing in general. If you seek out the addresses/phone numbers of an artists/content creators/influencers at all, it's not okay. If you do this with the intention of going to visit them, you are weird. Think of it like showing up to a coworker/classmates home uninvited. No one really wants that, especially if they don't know you that well or at all. This is not healthy behavior and could land you with legal issues. Please, please do not do this.

Sexual advances. I'm sorry to say this, but you are not in a Wattpad story, and you are not Y/N. It is very, very unlikely that an artist/content creator/influencer will EVER take you up on these advances or date/marry you. Honestly it's kind of predatory if they do. Sure, it's fun to imagine, but to chase after them like this (especially at a meet and greet or just running into them on the street) is really uncomfortable for them, and frankly is super cringe to watch. Just to add onto this, please do not send these people explicit messages and images. If you don't want them from randos, they don't want them from you.

Hateful messages. Sometimes our favorite artists and creators do something we don't like. This could be them saying something insensitive or doing something dumb or dangerous. This does not mean we get to fill their comments or inboxes with hate (more on this below). The Taylor Swift situation is a good example for this, Taylor Swift has said many times that she isn't queer, and she gets hate for this. She in no way has done anything to lead people to believe she is homophobic or transphobic or anything, but she still receives hate just for being cishet. You see this a lot in kpop fandoms as well, especially if a certain idol has put on weight or has done something to not abide by/naturally does not abide by beauty standards. They receive hate for interacting with idols of a different sex because they "could be flirting" or "could be dating." Honestly i feel bad for kpop idols because i feel like they get hate just for breathing. I will say this again: if you send hate to an artist or creator for something miniscule like this, you are being weird. You need to stop. This is not healthy behavior and you need to stop and think of why you do this because. It is very damaging behavior not just for the person on the receiving end, but for you as well.

Being delulu. It's kind of a meme, but honestly it's startling to see how many people genuinely believe in their delusional fantasies and try to bring them to life with artists and creators. Please stop doing this, it is cringe and can at times be distressing for creators and artists.

Just to double down on this: this behavior is dangerous for artists and creators. It is harmful to their mental health and can at times be harmful for them physically. I am begging you on my hands and knees to not continue with this behavior and to make better choices.

Engaging Healthily:

This is a list of ways to engage with fandom culture in a healthy way and to encourage others to do so as well.

Engage with content. Leaving a like on an artist or creators media is always a nice, arm's length way to participate in fandoms. Lurking is absolutely fine, leaving a comment to tell them how much you enjoy their content is even better. I highly encourage you to do this with smaller creators, as feedback is the best way to keep them posting! Share their media as well! Please keep in mind when you do this, keep it positive! There is such a thing as unproductive criticism! Please also do not be creepy!

When going to meet and greets, it's absolutely okay to tell creators and artists that their art has saved your life. If their art means a lot to you, let them know! Please always ask before you hug, please do not kiss them. It's okay to cry. When it is time to move on, please don't linger too long. Please don't make sexual advances on them or touch them inappropriately. If you want to be silly or goofy, ask them to participate! If they say no, that's sad, but move on. Don't be mean.

If you see your favorite creator on the street or out in the wild, please read the room if you want to approach. It is perfectly okay to approach and tell them you like their content. If they seem to not want to have a conversation or take a selfie, then leave it at that. Please don't force it on them. If they seem receptive, go ahead and ask for a selfie or an autograph! If they still say no, then leave it at that! It's certainly okay to be disappointed in not getting that, but being mean about it isn't fair to that artist or creator. Once the interaction seems to be at an end, move on with your day.

Guys, it's this easy. Artists and creators are people just like you and me, and chances are if you wouldn't want this behavior done to you, they don't want it done to them. Treat artists and creators as normal people, they have feelings and emotions and lives just like the rest of us. They are not deities or Gods, they are mortals who fart and poop and make mistakes just like we do. The sooner we learn this, the sooner we can engage with these creators better.

Okay, but Apple, sometimes these people suck.

This is very true. Sometimes these artists and creators suck a lot. Sometimes they make mistakes that boggle our minds and hold beliefs that are damaging for people like them to have a platform. So what do we do, then? How do we vent our frustrations and do our best to lower or totally abolish their platforms?

Hey, super easy: stop engaging with their media. But APPLE. What if that isn't enough? Well, let's gauge it.

For those of you who were on social media back in the wild west days, you may remember Onision. To make a long story short: he is walking garbage. He has been totally deplatformed because people stopped engaging with his media. Not only that, a lot of people told other people about what he did and said to stop engaging with him. Onision did his best to do damage control and at times did some absurd things to try and get some of that sweet, sweet bad publicity, but in the end his channel died. Sure, he still posts, but he has little to no engagement.

Let's look at this from a different perspective. JK Rowling is a known TERF. She does her best to demonize and at times try to erase trans culture and existence. Many, many people do their best to voice this about JKR and do not engage with her media to try and lower her platform. Of course, it is very hard to do this because Harry Potter is a literal cash cow and you can find HP merchandise for literally everything. So how do we deal with this? Well, we simply don't engage. We spread awareness and ignore her. Does it do a lot? No, she's a billionaire. We can't touch her. But we can certainly denounce her and let her know we don't approve.

Fantastic. So when you say "let her know we don't approve" you mean threaten her on social media and dox her, right? Hey, no! That is unhealthy behavior! While some of us would love nothing more than to see JKR get her just desserts for being a TERF, YOU SHOULD NOT BRING HARM TO ANY PERSON UNLESS THEY ARE DIRECTLY HARMING YOU. And when i say directly harming, i mean literally hitting you with fists or baseball bats or something.

It is perfectly acceptable to be mad and frustrated at the inhuman things some of these people with platforms do/say, especially if it is harmful to your way of life. No one is saying you can't be, and no one is saying there is nothing you can do about it. What you can't do is be the reason someone gets hurt or dies. That is the very real outcome of some of these behaviors. I promise you, if someone gets hurt or dies from your behavior, no matter who they are, you are going to feel it and you will never be okay again.

Hey Apple, you're wrong and you should feel bad.

Nuh uh.

If you don't like this, sorry. I'm putting this here in an effort to be a positive force in the world and if you don't agree that is perfectly fine. Not everyone has the ability to gauge when its okay to approach their favorite creators, and not everyone knows when they're getting a little too excited to meet their favorite person. I completely understand that, and it is okay if you make things a little awkward because of this. No one is saying you're a bad person for not being able to figure this out. Sometimes we need learning opportunities, sometimes we simply go on with our lives.

I am saying if you are going into a situation with the intent on harming someone or ruining their day, you suck. I don't care who you are or what your beliefs are, you are propagating bad energy and you should feel bad.

I know it doesn't feel like it, but the world isn't black and white. Everything is gray, some things are darker shades of gray and others are lighter shades. Sometimes the rules in this post won't apply, other times they will. I am begging you guys to take this seriously and stop being feral to our favorite artists and creators because when you act out of pocket you ruin it for the rest of us. Because someone decided to act like a wild child and dox III, it is very possible we will lose a band that could make (and very much have already made) waves in the music industry and possibly change the game altogether.

Let's try to keep this from happening again. Hold your friends and those you see on social media accountable, be the change you want to see.

#fandom #Fan #fandom culture #fandom criticism #fandom critical #kpop #kpop icons #kpop idol #Kpop culture #supernatural #taylor swift #sleep token #III #doxing #jk rowling #fuck jkr #screw jkr #harry potter #misha collins #stray kids #the 1975 #be good #be a good human #positivity #positive mental attitude #mental health #influencer #content creator #markiplier #jacksepticeye

[heartsforhavik]

hi hi! i saw you mention that you love doing hcs & i LOVE them, so i thought i would send in a request

i wondering if you could do hcs of what it’s like to be mike munroe’s gf (or partner if you prefer to keep it neutral!) like how he is w them, his flaws, etc.

mike munroe x (gn! reader) relationship hcs

✰ warnings: gender neutral reader, poc friendly, all hcs are sfw

✰ there is nothing i love more than doing hcs, tysm for requesting some!! i had a ton of fun writing this, so if you would like a part two, i'll do it! (i literally saw this req and immediately got up to write it) also i mentioned some poc things in here cuz i'm latino, soooo if anyone wants me to write any character x poc! reader, i am SO down.

mike is a very secure, confident partner. he's perfectly fine with you having male friends or spending alone-time with a guy.

but when another guy is clearly flirting with you?

oh boy.

he would go up to you and casually sling an arm around your shoulder, subtly hinting to the other guy that you are taken. if the guy doesn't take the hint, mike would butt in the conversation and would keep referring to you as his "love" or "beloved" until the guy leaves.

he isn't afraid of confrontation or anything, he just doesn’t want to waste time on someone like that.

if mike were to meet your parents, he would be confident and casual. he'd obviously hold back on the pda and profanity, but overall he wouldn't be too stressed about it. mike is very confident that he could win the approval of your parents. because of how calm he is, he'd probably treat your parents like old friends.

but if you're a person of color, he'd try a little harder. mike would present himself a bit neater, would constantly mention his successes, intelligence, job, etc. he'd even put in the effort to follow your family's customs. like if you eat with your hands, he has no issue doing so. or if you have a larger family, especially if they don't speak english, he would probably try to learn the language and get along with them all. he really wants to gain their approval.

these hcs make him sound like a saint... but the number one issue in your relationship with mike is that he tends to be a bit ignorant when it comes to your feelings.

for example, if you were at a party and you told mike you were uncomfortable and wanted to leave, he would be like: "what? why? this party's great! just go and talk to people, it isn't that hard."

he's nice about it, he just doesn't understand. he may even tease you about it.

"what? are you scared of social interaction? oh no, a conversation! the scariest of all weapons!"

but he shuts up immediately when he actually sees how uncomfortable you are, then he'd help you out. he's a nice boyfriend, just not the most understanding sometimes.

when you are genuinely in distress (emotionally), he would drop everything to help you and get rid of whatever is troubling you. if there's a chore you are too stressed to get done, he's helping you with it. if someone's messing with you, he'll have a... 'chat' with them. even though mike isn't too good with emotions, he hates seeing you stressed or sad. even if you're in denial or claim that you "don't need help" he isn't having it. he's stubborn, and he WILL help you.

mike's love language is probably either physical touch or quality time. if you're taller than him, he'd probably rest his arm around your waist. if you're shorter, he'd like to tease you sometimes by having his arm on top of your head, but mainly around your shoulders. he isn't afraid of showing off his partner to others, so he likes holding you at all times in some kind of way.

he also loves quality time. doesn't matter how. whether you're out at dinner somewhere, or just sitting in the same room scrolling through your phones in silence. he isn't picky, he just likes being around you.

mike strikes me as the type of boyfriend to always offer to drive you places, even if you're a better driver than him. you'd be in the passenger seat and you get to choose what music to listen to, while mike has one hand on the wheel, and his other hand resting on your thigh.

when you're spending time with mike, you laugh a lot and mess around like kids, but after 3-4 hours of hanging out, you're suddenly talking about the meaning of life and your biggest fears and covering them up with jokes. he's versatile!😻

overall, he's a nice, funny boyfriend. even if he isn't extremely good with emotions, he tries his best with you.

#until dawn #until dawn x reader #mike munroe #mike munroe x reader #mike munroe fluff #until dawn fic #until dawn fanfic #until dawn fanfiction #mike munroe fic #mike until dawn #until dawn imagine #mike munroe hcs #mike munroe headcanons #until dawn mike x reader

[compassionatereminders]

Hi! I feel like I might have light depressive episodes sometimes. Like, I don't know if it's bad enough to associate it with depression but that is what it feels like when I'm in that mood. I don't want to end my life or anything but sometimes I'm just in a very bad mental headspace and I can't think of any positive thoughts. I was in this space again for a week or so recently. Now I'm fine! I feel good about things again and I like to do things for fun again. But sometimes I'm just sad and angry at myself and feel worthless and useless and like a failure and all that kind of stuff. I'm not sure if I want to talk about it to an actual person like go to therapy. I still feel like it's not that bad and especially now that I'm fine and those thoughts aren't bothering me at the moment. It feels stupid to reach out for help now. But when I'm in a bad place I especially don't want to reach out for help because I don't want to go outside or do anything other than watch tv or something. I know I'm being stupid because logically I know it's never gonna be a bad thing to get help from someone even if it's not super bad and even if I'm not experiencing it right now. I know this but it's hard to gain the courage to actually do something about it... It sucks 😔 sometimes I wish someone just magically knows something is wrong and forces me to do something about it but alas, that's not going to happen.

I'm sorry for this sad ask 😣

Don't be sorry. I genuinely enjoy answering asks, even when they are about people's struggles. Obviously I can't tell you whether what you are experiencing would be diagnosed as depression, but I also don't think you are obligated to find out. I encourage you to observe these patterns in your mood without judgment, and to consider in what capacity they are impairing your life, and how much and how frequently they cause you distress. And if you conclude that this is an ongoing struggle which is impairing your quality of life, that's when I would look into relevant treatment options. Not because I don't think it's "bad enough" just because it isn't currently a permanent issue, but because not all emotional struggles actually benefit from being medicalized

#chat with kat #internalized ableism tw

[izzyspussy]

a penny for your thoughts on some Izzy/Stede sexy times? xx

aahhhh nova this is so nonspecific i'm going to Struggle

ed does the rough stuff but stede is a huge BITCH in a way that ed just isn't petty enough to be

stede is into the Aesthetics of sex in a way none of izzy's past partners ever have been. he likes shibari, he likes predicament bondage, he likes dress up, he just likes anything pretty and he likes to Look at izzy. drives izzy crazy.

"are we gonna have sex or are you just gonna stare at me all night" / "well if you're going to be such a brat about it maybe i will"

for a good long while izzy irrationally feels like he's going to Get In Trouble any time he and stede have sex without ed there. it's a combo of genuinely distressing and sexy distressing. stede plays into it by making him tell ed what they did "just wait til your father hears about this" style kalsfkjlksks.

izzy does not actually ever call ed "daddy" but he does call stede that sometimes. if he'd been asked previously stede would have said he was Most Assuredly Not into that, but after izzy does it once kind of on accident he discovers something about himself lmao.

getting your dick sucked is bottoming, actually, and stede has hours of evidence

sometimes when izzy is pissed off at ed he'll have sex with stede about it and then immediately feel like kind of an asshole, but ed and stede think it's very funny

stede tries to do this with izzy when he's upset with ed one time but it does NOT work in reverse. (ed is too direct to ever think to try it for either of them.)

izzy Will Not top ed but he can be convinced to top stede. he finds it incredibly embarrassing and weird, which is of course part of what makes it fun as an occasional thing.

the rough stuff ed does to izzy is fun for stede to watch and feels like sex, but when stede tries it with izzy it feels like violence instead. (not as true with stede roughing up ed. it's a whole thing.)

stede wants to baby izzy. not just because, yes, he deserves nice things and all that. but also because he "hates" it so much but "has" to tolerate it anyway.

because of above, basically any fancyboy nonsense stede "makes" izzy participate in accidentally becomes sex sooner or later.

izzy ends up with a pavlovian arousal response to the clink of a teacup to a saucer. hell on earth.

stede insists on missionary with izzy so much that for a good long while after the three of them got together, izzy thought stede would ONLY do it missionary until ed, cackling, corrected him

they showed him also, obviously, making him sit and watch for several nights in a row so they could cycle through their favorite positions

because of this experience he reacts to any attempt by ed to talk about stede as if it is a trap. this is only mostly a joke.

stede is nervous at first to leave marks on izzy, thinking he hasn't quite earned the position in izzy's life to lay claim to him like that. izzy is forced to use his words to tell stede that, to him, he'd already let stede lay claim to him the first time he touched him.

#jack facts #jack chats #nova #ofmd #blackhannet #stizzy #otplus #hc #lime

[italeean]

Hi, it's me again lol, I wanted to participate in your drabble event!! Would you mind writing lee aether with lers xiao and kazuha (these are my comfort characters) and I recently played aether and fell in love with him. The sentence "We’re gonna get you!" seems cool ^^

A/N: WAAAAAAHH ANONNN 🥺 I can't thank you enough for this prompt. A character I kin (Xiao) and two comfort characters?? I'm ascendinggg 💘 Anyway, the drabble came out a bit longer (I really had my fun with it lol) but I like the result, so I hope you do too. Buona lettura (Have a nice reading) 💚🤍❤️ Also, since you said 'it's me again', please use an emoji or something like that to sign yourself so it'll be easier for me to understand who I'm talking to 😅🌸 (I think I know who you are but I'm not sure, sorryyy)

Drabble Event Day 6

Aether's legs were moving as quick as they could through the Chinjou Forest, his breath was uneven and his heart was racing. Only one thought was echoing in his head. Run. A phrase resonated in the deep woods. "We're gonna get you..."

One moment he was hanging out with his friends in the inazuman forest, and the other he was being chased by the same people who were laughing along with him a couple of seconds earlier. And all of that just because of a playful poke! Weren't they exaggerating a bit?

He didn't have time to complain about whether their reaction was fair or not, he had to focus only on dashing through the trees and not get caught. But what chances did he have against a Yaksha and a samurai who knew that island better than the back of his hand?

Just when he was realizing who his ... were, a shadow jumped down from a tree and grabbed him by his shoulders, taking advantage of the surprise effect to pin him down to the ground. "I got you!" Kazuha said softly, winking at the blond and sticking his tongue out playfully.

Not even a second after, Xiao reached the two of them and straddled Aether, sitting on his knees to prevent him from kicking. He wasn't even trying to keep his grouchy attitude, for once he was smiling playfully while looking down at the poor Traveler. "So, what was that stunt you pulled earlier?" He asked while cracking his knuckles.

The blond gulped loudly and stuttered, trying to talk his way out of that predicament. "It... it was nothing serious... I j-just wanted to see you smile..!" To be honest, he had considered the chance that they would try to get him back, but he had also decided that it would've been worth it.

"That's really sweet of you to say," the wanderer cooed "we'll make sure to return the favor tenfolds." He stated while gesturing to the shorter guy to wait a second before striking. Then he brought his hands above Aether's tummy and wiggled his fingers without actually touching him.

"Aeeehehehe wahait Kazuhahahaaa thihis is unfahahair..!" The Traveler whined, giggling already. "Why are you giggling already? Can't you see that he isn't even tickling you yet?" Xiao asked directly, genuinely confused by his friend's behavior. However, the blond thought he was just teasing him, so he just arched his back and kept laughing with a faint blush on his cheeks.

"That's how sensitive he is to a gentle touch." Kazuha explained, ignoring the distressed whine coming from the adventurer "The mere sight of some wiggling fingers makes his face become as red as maple leaves in autumn. Isn't that right, Giggles?"

"Noooooohoho" the poor guy couldn't do anything but blush even harder and squeeze his eyes shut, hoping to find some sort of relief in not seeing those sneaky fingers anymore. "Not a good move for such an experienced warrior like you..." the white-haired guy commented feigning seriousness while nodding at the Yaksha "If you stay like that, you'll never know when your opponent will strike." He said with a natural tone, and at the end of the sentence twenty fingers descended on the Traveler's tummy and sides, poking, caressing and digging in the soft skin.

"Wha- nahahahahaha Ihihi wahasn't reheheadyyy ehehehehe" the yellow-eyed guy protested, only to be told that a surprise attack wasn't supposed to be announced. Kazuha was really in a mood that day, he thought.

"What's wrong, huh? Can't take what you dish out?" Xiao teased while tickling his sides, ribs and the v-line of his hips, making him buck them in a futile attempt to make him fall. "Serves you right for poking me earlier..!" He scoffed in fake anger, although the thought of the squeak he had made was still making him blush a little.

"Yohohour ehexpressiohohons ahahand squeahahahals wehere wohohorth ihihit!!" Aether said in a moment of sudden boldness, making the other two gasp. "Well, there's only a way to find out if they were really worth it." Kazuha stated while moving his hands to stretch the skin around his friend's belly button.

The Yaksha understood immediately and unleashed his tickly wrath on Aether's death spot, making him go ballistic immediately. "WAAAAHHAHAHAHAHA NAHAHAT THEHEHEHEREHEHE NOHOHOHOHO" The blond begged in vain.

The shorter guy completely ignored him. He just kept tracing the rim of the navel before dipping a finger in, wiggling his finger inside, giving quick pokes and scratch delicately at the walls as if he was trying to clean them.

For someone as ticklish as Aether, it was way too much to handle. "AAAAAAAAHHHAHAHAHA PLEHEAHAHAHSE STAHAHAHAHAHAP IHIHIT IHIHI CAHAHAN'T TAHAHAHAKEHE IHIHIT" Hearing him beg, his friends immediately let him up and helped him lean against a tree to recover from all that laughing.

"Thahat was mean... all ohof that for a lihittle poke..." the Traveler complained. "You like it and we all know it." Kazuha stated calmly as he booped his friend's nose, making him become more red than a jueyun chili.

"Aaaahh..!" The adventurer whined while hiding his face behind his hands, "Your squeals were really cute though... I don't regret anything..!"

"HAH?! As if, Yakshas don't squeal..." Xiao huffed, turning around to hide the light shade of pink that was painting his cheeks. The Traveler smirked to himself, observing his friend's ears change color, then he whispered to the wanderer "He's gonna be next, right?"

Only to see no one by his side. As soon as he realized that the white-haired guy was nowhere to be found, he heard a surprised scream, a little thump and some high-pitched giggles.

It was going to be a long day.

#drabble event #milestone event #genshin impact tickle #lee!aether #ticklish!aether #ler!xiao #ler!kazuha

[cleave-and-plough]

IT'S NOT TRUE

AGH

i really haven't had such a visceral reaction to a show like this in such a long time. the dread i felt as utena ascended the stairs to the arena was like a lodestone in the pit of my stomach, drawing in all my fears for the fragile peace utena had seemed to reach with anthy.

there's hardly anything else to talk about besides that moment in their dorm, the duel, and its aftermath. everything has gone according to touga's plan, which unveils itself not just as a material ambition, but a philosophy: "deep feelings will inevitably betray you, as deeply as you feel them." even the walled-off juri is taken aback, stunned by the coldness of touga's will. miki criticizes touga's treatment of nanami, comparing his "care" for her to be no more compassionate than how he would view a pet. touga doesn't argue, instead claiming that any victim who falls into a trap has only themselves to blame, nanami included. as was inevitable, her feelings for her brother betrayed her.

and so too do anthy's feelings betray her. whether she has finally let the mask slip and acknowledge her enjoyment of others' company, or whether she's become too method in her role as utena's bride, touga brings it all crashing down. she's forgotten her place - her role is not to cook and make friends, her role is to tend the roses in her cage. touga understands this, and in his way is the ideal husband, just as every partner for the rose bride must be the ideal partner by nature of winning her hand. it's crushing to see anthy visibly dissociate here, and even more so when utena rushes to protect her, still not understanding the rules of the engagement. "tell him you hate being the rose bride," she shouts, and anthy does. "i hate being the rose bride." touga laughs. he knows the truth.

secure in that knowledge, he continues to cast his spell on utena, who has been worn down like stone beneath the tide. the mystery seems solved: everyone at school agrees touga is a prince, and touga knows intimate details of utena's fateful meeting without even needing to deceive her. the conditioning is set - when utena sees him across the campus, sound dissipates, and it seems they only have eyes for each other. how unfortunate that touga's student council duties oblige him to challenge her to a duel. only a matter of principle, it seems.

back at the dorm, utena and anthy fondly remember their lunch with wakaba, who, even if she resists anthy as competition for utena's love, is at least kind enough to accept her (unlike basically everyone else in the school). then, something monumental happens. like utena, i believe that anthy is being genuine when she says she wishes she had more friends. it's such a vulnerable thing to say, particularly in this environment where most of the people she knows treat her like an object. furthermore, utena is largely a stranger to her - even as they've been living together, anthy still has to pretend to be someone around her, specifically her doting fiancee. and as good as utena's intentions seem to be, she still has hurt anthy in the past. it must take so much for anthy to step out of her role as rose bride - after all, everything that happens to the rose bride isn't really happening to her. the rose bride is someone else, a mask. to put that away, not for something fun like a picnic lunch with friends or cooking a meal, but to voice her distress? and hope that it's heard? almost unfathomable, and yet, human. fortunately, she has her prince. utena is immediately there for her, cheering her on and promising to support her. they've finally crossed that bridge together, and they face each other now, a promise renewed.

AGH

my fears began just before utena opened the way to the forest. as she walks, she thinks to herself, "that's right. i have to protect anthy." a noble enough sentiment from a prince, defending a friend in need. then:

"i won't give her to the others."

she's not yours!!!!!!!!!!

in this moment, utena loses sight. as chivalrous as her intentions are, she steps alongside saionji and miki in the desire to possess anthy, and in so doing forgets her love. why does this happen? perhaps touga's manipulation has stirred her blood, and her conflicted feelings for him and anthy led her towards hot-headedness over her inner strength and honor. as always, utena has good intentions. and as often happens, they lead her astray. as fearful as i was of touga's scheme, this was the moment i truly began to doubt.

utena ascends the stairs, and anthy is waiting for her - not in the rose bride's neutral position, but nearby, with arm extended. they touch hands and exchange smiles. all is well.

touga draws his sword. "i must take your bird from you," he says regretfully, and the duel begins. utena fights as passionately as ever, while touga fights in a tall, overbearing, and composed stance. like juri, his movements are refined, yet he also focuses his aggression into singular, precise, deadly strikes. his dueling is proud and calculated - he is in control, simply awaiting the arrival of the prince and the power of dios. the prince descends, and touga readies himself. as utena charges for her signature final blow, he gently lowers his sword. and utena, who swore to not let even her prince take anthy away, falters. unable to attack her prince, she falls, and in a single upward slash, touga cuts her rose.

it's over. like saionji, like nanami, utena cannot accept this and calls out to anthy, but touga breaks the spell once and for all. it was all part of the game, he reveals. anthy's behavior was simply her playing the role utena wanted of her. this is the painful thought that has occupied me throughout each episode until this moment - utena, unknowingly, has almost always commanded anthy to act the way utena prefers. she ordered her to wear nanami's dress and attend the ball against her wishes, she told her it isn't right to keep saionji's diary, and she told her to tell touga that she hates being the rose bride. and anthy did all these things. but... she loves being the rose bride, doesn't she? yes, she loves being the rose bride. she likes being alone. and just like that, the anthy of utena's memories, the anthy who smiled, cooked curry, played piano, cared for chuchu, and danced with utena on the night of the ball... vanishes behind the veil of the rose bride.

"cheer up, miss utena."

after each duel, anthy has said something pointed to the defeated duelist - she calls saionji her classmate (rather than her love), offers to study with miki (rather than play the piano), and advises juri to make her feelings known (in spite of juri's rejection of such miracles). and now, facing abandonment by the one person who genuinely swore to protect her and then gave in to the temptation of touga’s false promise of love, she addresses her betrayer. why is this her message to utena? ever since childhood, utena's chivalry, nobility, and all of her princely aspirations have been survival mechanisms - weapons and shields against that which she could not face: her lonely, unrelenting sorrow. now, having failed in her ambitions, she returns to its cold embrace.

and alone, she cries.

stray observations:

first prominent wakaba appearance in a while, and her love for utena seems to have only gotten stronger and more forward. making her lunch is such a romantic gesture, especially in an anime, and she shows notable annoyance when anthy mirrors her. i can't help but feel there's some kind of tension building here, if utena continues to view her as a friend while wakaba seeks romantic love.

another strange silhouette performance, this time about william tell and his son seemingly cursed to repeat their story for eternity. i wonder if the connective theme is something to do with trust: utena trusts in touga and is crushed for it, as william tell's son trusts his father yet may be in danger.

juri and miki openly voice their unrest and concerns about touga's conduct, but seem unable to fully oppose him, perhaps as part of end of the world's hierarchy. as president, he seems unassailable, and now with the power to bring the world revolution, it will be difficult to defeat him. i wonder what nanami will make of this, having been used as a sacrificial pawn for touga's acquisition of anthy, her hated rival.

balloons, huh? at first just red, blue, and orange, the colors of the council members, but then dozens of them in all shades. perhaps a sign of the world revolution?

#revolutionary girl utena #shoujo kakumei utena #utena project #my writing #duel 11

[novelmonger]

Book Review: Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede

Quote that should have been on the back of the book: "It started when the wicked fairy came to my christening." "She put a curse on you?" "No. She ate cake and ice cream until she nearly burst and danced with my Uncle Arthur until two in the morning and had a wonderful time. So she went home without cursing me, and Aunt Ermintrude says that that's where the whole problem started...."

Premise: This is the first of the Enchanted Forest Chronicles, which take place in a fairy-tale world where princesses are expected to get cursed by wicked fairies or wicked witches, locked in towers, or put in enchanted slumbers, to then be rescued by a prince and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, Princess Cimorene isn't very well suited to life as a fairy tale princess. She's curious and resourceful, and wants to learn all sorts of things like fencing and sorcery and cooking that simply aren't appropriate to her station. Eventually, when she realizes she's going to be married off to a very boring prince, she runs away and ends up agreeing to be the princess of a dragon, giving her more status among the dragons as well as cooking and cleaning for her. During her time with the dragon, she is finally able to put her talents to good use and eventually even manages to save all the dragons from a tyrant.

Thoughts: I really wish I'd known about this series as a kid, because I know I would have loved it. It's exactly the sort of fairy tale satire I love best, because it pokes fun at all the cliches, but in a fun way that doesn't destroy the magic. Cimorene is a great protagonist - dare I say even an Actually Strong Female Character? :o She's strong-willed, but not obnoxious. She genuinely wants to help people and be friends with everyone she can, she's just not cut out for being a demure damsel in distress. I enjoyed the way she tackled problem-solving. I also really liked the dragons and their culture. I always say that dragons make anything ten times cooler, but it's especially cool when they're not just mindless beasts, nor universally evil.

I definitely recommend this book, and look forward to reading the rest of the series!

#book thoughts #enchanted forest chronicles #dealing with dragons #patricia c wrede

[eyes-inthe-skies]

can u rank all the saw movies? or at least the ones u saw (pun intended)?

Thanks for my first asked and for being my #1 fan of all time!!

Luckily I actually just had a conversation with my friend Abt this that sees me prepared for this task I'm about to overcomplicate.

(Post Script: God I went on for a while strap in gang)n

1: Saw X (possibly the objectively Greatest Saw movie. Tobin Bell is fascinating to watch bring humanity to this murderer, Shawnee Smith is so beloved and I LOVE the kills in this one. Top teir)

2: Saw 2004 (Classic, what's to be said that hasn't already been said. Carey Elwes does a rly bad American accent, Shawnee Smith makes Amanda the single most iconic woman in fiction just by sitting there. This movie caused me a lot of distress as a child and that fascinated me so thoroughly that I think it may have been a defining moment of my horror fanatasism despite not watching the full film till a decade later. I could go on.)

3: Saw 6 (I don't know if this is controversial or not, but Saw 6 is genuinely a high point of the series to me. I love watching William Eastons trap plot, which is not something I can say for most other Saw films. And that fucking ending man! Saw 6 is very personal to me in that I too would love to stab the man who killed my father with hydrochloric acid filled needles and watch him melt from the outside. Very fun scenes with John, Hoffman getting his mouth ripped open is hot, etc etc)

4: Saw 3 ( only reason this isn't 3 Is because Jeff makes me chew through pencils I hate this guy. People are NOT JOKING ABOUT THE YURI. ITS ACTUALLY REAL. I love love lOVED Amanda in this movie, I don't think I blinked the entire time, I love seeing everything crash down around her and John until there's nothing left but blood and bones and flesh, and not a single soul went to heaven that night, etc etc.)

5: Saw 4 (I don't know why but I love saw 4 actually, I think Hoffman, strahm, Perez and Rigg were all rly fun to watch. I love the spy x spy ass soap opera plot. I LOVED seeing Eric Matthews head get exploded between two ice blocks. FUCK YES. Again this trap plot I actually really dig which helps with the watchability of the thing, plus Hoffman hot who said that)

6: Saw 2 (I know this is insane I know I wish I liked this movie more but the only good thing is setting up Amanda as jigsaws successor, some nice time with John kramer being a cunty old man, and also establishing I hate Donnie whalbergs stupid fucking face. Don't at me.)

7: Saw 5 (I literally don't remember what happened in saw v. I had to look it up. It's honestly not the worst, Hoffman and Strahm are pretty enjoyable once again, but it's completely unremarkable, I don't have anything to say Abt this movie.)

8: Jigsaw (Trap plot makes me want to rip my own eyes out. "Plot twist" is dumb and falls apart. Fucking. Jigsaws Nephew. Whatever man.)

9: Saw 3d (Probably one of the worst actual movies I've seen. I love Larry coming back don't get me wrong, he's very cunty, you know. But they literally barely use him till the end, which is a mistake. The fucking Bobby Dagan plot could've been interesting but it wasn't due to him being not at all helpful and the end is genuinely maddening. Also I HATE THE HOME DEPOT TRAP GRRR GRR DO YOU JESR ME GRRGRE)

Spiral- I have not seen spiral.

#saw #i want to rewatch 4-6 bc those movies blur together for me quite a lot tbh #anyways heres what a condensed version of my thoughts on the saw franchise ::) what.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Quick Notes on What Yaz is Doing in Moon Knight: Episode 1

Episode 2

A/N: For those who are curious these are just my initial notes/thoughts on what my OC Yaz is up to during the events of Moon Knight. Once I get down to writing the damn thing it may change, but I thought it would be fun to share.

Yaz works in the library of the British museum 

Need a scene in the beginning of Steven and Yaz talking

Option 1) Yaz is up front talking to the museum director about the misprint of the poster

Option 2) Yaz is talking to the museum direction about her application and/or suggestions about a current dig sight looking for Alexander the Great

If Option 1) director knocks her down because she's not part of the marketing department and she's got other things she needs to deal with

If Option 2) director knocks her down because she's a librarian, not an archeologist and so doesn't have the expertise she thinks she does

Steven sees the exchange and asks her if everything is okay, she tells him it is, the director is just a jerk

Steven gives her some words of encouragement and that gets her to smile at least

Steven then gives her back a book she had lent to him the day before, saying he read it all the night before

Yaz's expression shows her concern for his sleep deprivation, but it's clear they've had this conversation before so she doesn't say anything pulling out a new book for him to read

Steven thanks her and then asks her about lunch, his tone implying that he wants to ask her own, but Yaz just doesn't register it

She turns him down, apologizing saying she has to work through lunch since some of the grad students from the university are coming in and they always make a mess of the place

Donna watches the whole exchange, mocking Steven for striking out while Steven tries to defend himself saying he wasn't swinging in the first place and that he and Yaz are just really good friends

Later, Steven talks to the living statue about Yaz and getting up the courage to ask her; "I was going to ask her today, honest. I just...oh who am I kidding. I'm lucky she even gives me the time of day. Why ruin a good thing right? I mean, she's the best friend I've ever had. My only friend really. No offense mate."

Steven gets a call from Yaz that night about their date;

Sticking to the one-shot I wrote for that conversation until further notice

Steven then steels himself not to fall asleep because he does not want to end up some place he isn’t supposed to and he cannot be late for his date with Yaz 

Marc then takes their body to the Alps

Yaz meanwhile is left at the restaurant confused and hurt

She tries to call him because while Steven is often late he wouldn't just not show up. At the least he’d give her some explanation

He doesn't pick up and she gets worried

She then goes to his flat, but he doesn't answer

One of his neighbors pokes their head out and tells her they saw him leave the day before with a packed bag

This only leaves Yaz more confused but there isn't much she can do to find him

Steven wakes up in his apartment and after trying to sort out what's up with Gus, he runs back home to get ready for his date with Yaz

Yaz obviously doesn't show up so he calls her, but she doesn’t pick up which gets him worried so he goes to her place to figure out what’s going on

Yaz answers the door, assuming the chocolate and flowers are his way of groveling after ditching her and ghosting for two days

She tells him about calling him and questions where he went

Steven is very confused and once he hears it’s Sunday just about has a break down, especially when Yaz adds the detail of his carrying a packed bag out of his flat

Yaz is still angry, but it becomes very clear that Steven is under some distress

She knows about his sleeping disorder, at least a little and just assumes it's an extreme form of sleep walking; however, if Steven is genuinely missing days it's a whole other issue

She tries to get him to come inside, but he leaves feeling like he’s losing his mind and not wanting to drag her into it

He tells her it was all a big mistake, saying he shouldn't have even tried before bolting down the hallway, not knowing what else to do

Yaz is left in the doorway feeling a mixture of confusion, hurt, and anger, but unable to do anything about it

#moon knight #steven grant #steven grant x oc #marvel #mcu #yasmine #marvel oc #mcu oc #steven grant x reader

[dreamkidddream]

I absolutely loved the doll! mc one with the brothers and diavolo. Could I ask for the same idea with the rest of the undateables and luke? If it isn't too much though. Thank you very much, don't forget to take care of yourself and stay hydrated!

I’m glad you enjoyed the first part!! I hope you’re staying safe through this pandemic and that you’re drinking plenty of water. I’m so happy that people liked the Doll!MC scenario so much (it even became one of my top posts and I was NEVER expecting that to happen 😳 click here to read it with the Bros and Diavolo). I got an UR card for Barbatos today and immediately thought back to this scenario cause I was just imagining the different situations with Doll!MC. Hope you enjoy!

Also, Luke’s part is strictly platonic, just FYI!

The Undateables (Minus Diavolo) with Doll!MC

Barbatos

Let me just say, you make this man’s day so much better

Your presence is just so calming for him. You could just be standing there (which is heavily enforced in the kitchen), not doing anything, and he would still be fully relaxed

Definitely loves you being in the kitchen with him, and will find ways to invite you so that you guys can spend time together

“MC, the young master has a tea party planned for this afternoon, and I’m afraid I may need your assistance to help prepare.”

“But Barb, I thought you didn’t want me touching anything-”

“I don’t want you touching anything that can cause you harm. I can easily handle the labor, but I do have a task for you...”

Cue to you sitting perfectly still and taste testing his sweets

“Barb, are you sure that I’m helping you like this? I don’t want to be useless to you!”

“Nonsense, MC. This is perfect. I needed someone with an exceptional palette, and you’re just the right person for me.”

Just you and him, and his sweet creations. What more could he ask for?

Maybe being in a relationship with you, but he is very sure that it’s going to be happening in the near future...and he didn’t even have to use his powers to know that

He stares at you a lot. He can’t help it, he loves to just admire you!

Barbatos is the type of guy where he doesn’t have to rely on words to express his love. His love language is acts of service: packing you lunch and extra sweets every week, giving you recipes that he wouldn’t even share with Luke, and gifting you mini accessories that you can wear with your outfits!

He gave you this adorable three-legged crow holding a cupcake hairpin and you’ve been wearing it ever since

He tries to hide his blush everytime he sees you and now he has to work even harder because of the pin lmao

HAVING YOUR OWN TEA PARTIES WEEKLY

You both have a designated day and time where you don’t plan anything in order to have your own tea parties

No Diavolo, no noisy demon brothers, no other exchange students (sorry Luke). Just you and him, enjoying each other’s company and him basking in your glow

If someone did try to harm you, he would already know of it and properly disposes of the problem. Lord Diavolo can’t afford to have any issues interfering with the exchange program, and he can’t afford to have anything happen to you so...no harm no foul, right?

Please continue to do what you’re doing MC. Stare at him with your bright, doe eyes and give him that lively smile everytime. It makes his day go by much easier, especially since he knows that you’ll still be there, waiting for him with your own desserts and that smile reserved just for him

Simeon

Was convinced that you were an angel

Lowkey still convinced that you’re an angel

Really, you just look so...angelic

Wasn’t upset when you revealed that you were in fact human; he was happy because this meant that he could show you around the Celestial Realm!

Speaking of Celestial Realm, be prepared for Simeon to be your very own personal tour guide everytime. This could be your 50th time up there and he’ll still try to point new things out

“And over here is-”

“Michael’s favorite resting place, since the lilies always seem to bloom whenever he’s around,” you giggled. “I remember Simeon, you tell me this everytime we visit!”

He’s a tad embarrassed

“Forgive me, MC. It seems that I get so elated over the fact that you’re here with me, I tend to repeat some things over.”

“That’s okay! I still have fun with you everytime!”

Oh MC, you’re too adorable!

Which causes him to worry over you. While he knows that the brothers and Diavolo (along with Barbatos) wouldn’t dare cause you any distress, the same couldn’t be said for the other demons lurking around, both in and out of RAD

But not to fear, Simeon your friendly guardian angel is here!

I am so sorry for the rhyme lmao

He may not have been personally assigned to you, but that doesn’t mean he can just let anything happen to you! He’s only doing his heavenly duties in protecting you! He’s also being a good friend by watching over you too, his little lamb

He wouldn’t attack anyone, but if he made a complaint or a very serious concern to the right person (Lucifer or Diavolo), consider the problem handled

You have your own tea time as well, and Luke would join you sometimes. But, every now and then, Luke would have to finish some homework or study, or Barbatos would miraculously call for him at the castle, or if it was just too late and Luke just had to go to sleep, then it would just be you two. Sitting by the fireplace, discussing matters ranging from RAD to your life in the human world, drinking tea that you would take turns preparing

Not to mention the downright dainty little cakes you would bring. One time you brought him angel cakes and he found so lighthearted and precious that he requested you bring them everytime, just for him

May or may not base a character in his new story around you

Simeon wants to shield you from the horrors that are surrounding you both. You’re so pure, he just wants you safe. From the way that you would dress to the way that your eyes would just look so amazed and innocent at him, he just knows that he needs to watch over you, always. The brothers do get a little wary when they see how much time you do spend at Purgatory Hall, but they know that Simeon couldn’t possibly have feelings for you, and you were always so giddy after leaving there, they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything

And Simeon knew that he was starting to feel more than he should. He couldn’t profess his love for you now in risk of falling, but he can wait until you get your wings. Just imagining you in your cute little Ceslestial Realm outfit (which he hopes still mimicked your current style) with your very own beaming halo was enough to keep him waiting and to make sure that you stayed on the right path

He deemed that you were worth the wait

Luke

BFFs! BFFs!

When he first saw you he could just cry

Someone innocent like you got sent down here with these monsters?! He had to keep you safe!!!

Simeon thought you were angel and then realized that you were not; Luke thought you were an angel and refused to believe that you weren’t

You didn’t have it in you to burst his bubble so soon, so you just let him run with it until Simon broke the news

It was like telling a kid that Santa Claus wasn’t real; you can only imagine how Luke took the revelation

Not well from what Solomon told you. Simeon kept saying he just needs some time to process things, and you just felt so awful about the whole thing

Which lead to you bringing him so much sweets that it made Beel jealous and very upset

But we all know how Beel can be around food, so it wasn’t a huge surprise. He chased you around all day and you had to use your pact to get him to stop!

And you promised to make him double the sweets in he forgave you so all is well

Luke was still obviously sad, but he wasn’t going to stay sad forever. Especially not after you brought this many sweets just for him!

Lucifer was not a happy demon when Simeon arrived at the HoL’s doorstep with you groaning and clutching your stomach. And Solomon took so many pictures of Luke while he passed out from his sugar high that he dedicated a whole album in his phone to it

Favorite activity to do together: Baking! (Obviously)

Trading recipes, shopping for ingredients together, baking things for each other to try (where really it was just to have double the desserts)

When you two are in the kitchen together, no one else is allowed (except for Simeon, but only if he’s looking and not touching). It’s now MC and Luke time, everybody else is gonna have to wait!

Luke only wants you to do the the activities that he sees as harmless: which is everything that doesn’t include sharp items and anything else that can hurt you

“MC get away from that! That can seriously hurt you! Let me get it for you instead!

“Luke, honey, it’s just an oven it’s not my first time using one-”

Too late, he already took it out of your hands into his own, mitts already on

Speaking of oven mitts

You guys have matching aprons and mitts!!

Barbatos may be a little bit jealous, but he likes the bond that you two have. And he knows that Luke won’t be a romantic rival so he’s alright lol

Luke is your deemed protector/bodyguard, and he proudly wears the title since no one bothers you because of him (or so he thinks). Everyone makes fun of him calling him a chihuahua, but jokes on him, when Luke complains, he complains

Won’t take long for Simeon or even one of the brothers to pick up on his whines complaints if he thinks someone is bothering you

Luke believes that while he’s small, he can protect you and try to keep you free from danger. He may be young, but he sees himself as the older brother out of you both (even though it’s really you being the older sibling and him being the baby). Always looking out for you especially since you’re too fragile to be left alone!

You’re one of the only people that genuinely likes him and don’t make fun of him. You’re dear to him MC, please don’t ever change!

Also, he definitely talks to Michael about you all the time so excitedly and sends him sweets that you both made together. Michael is a proud dad at this point

Solomon

Knew you wasn’t a doll but loved to tease you about being one anyway

Was there a spell that can really turn you into a doll? You wouldn’t mind if he tried it out on you, right MC?

Don’t tempt him please because he WILL do it

“Tell me, MC. Hypothetically speaking, if I were to purchase-”

“No Solomon, you can’t shrink me down to fit me into a dollhouse, no matter how nice it sounds. Besides, I can’t bake in a dollhouse, the oven wouldn’t work!”

“I can fix that.”

You’re very amusing to him for some reason. Was it because of how doll-like you are? The fairytale way that you dressed? How you were still human and was able to live with seven of the most powerful demons and not die? Maybe it’s the way that you still radiated such positivity despite being in literal Hell?

Honestly all of the above

TEACHING HIM HOW TO COOK/BAKE

Poor Solomon doesn’t realize that his cooking isn’t...the best

And you took the best approach in helping him atleast cook something that looks edible

You didn’t say his cooking was disgusting like some people (literally everyone else), so he took that you giving him lessons was a date of sorts

He wasn’t complaining. Your time spent in the kitchen was scenes straight of a romcom (no matter how cheesy it sounds); his arms wrapped around your waist and dotting icing on your pretty nose

May or may not have licked some icing off of you at one point, will definitely do it again

Solomon is a very confident man, borderline arrogant (Oh who am I kidding he IS arrogant). So yes, while people may see you as an easy target, he’s here to remind them that you’re not. And that if they want to try, chances are they won’t be walking away in one piece

He’s powerful, too powerful in fact. He may not be the strongest physically, but if even the entire student council recognizes his knowledge and what he’s capable of, no one should be dumb enough to test him (keyword: try)

But he wouldn’t mind showing off if it’s for you

You’re one of the only beings to ever peak Solomon’s interest genuinely. Yes, he loved to tease and bug you whenever he pleased, but you also made him want to come around you more and more. He was drawn to you, and that doesn’t happen a lot with him (at least without ulterior motives)

*coughcough* making pacts *coughcough*

You were the only thing that made Solomon feel weak, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Don’t get him wrong, he’s still The Greatest Sorcerer, but he couldn’t help but feel himself get weak in the knees when you gazed at him with so much sincerity. He loves it and loves you

Once your back in the human world, he’s going to be so selfish with you. I mean, he already kinda was now, but this time there won’t be any interruptions or distractions around to take your attention

Us humans have to stick together, and what better way to stick together than to be together, wouldn’t you say MC?

#obey me x reader #obey me reader insert #obey me undateables #undateables x reader #obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me one master to rule them all #barbatos x reader #barbatos x mc #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #solomon x reader #solomon x mc #simeon x reader #simeon x mc #obey me simeon #obey me luke #luke is baby

[minyoongees]

comethru || myg

✧ pairing: manager!yoongi x worker!reader

✧ genre: slight angst? hurt/comfort, pathetic attempt at crack, barely there fluff

✧ word count: 2k

✧ summary: Yoongi saves you from heinous karens

✧ snip: "We have a coupon for a free meal at your restaurant and we demand you open it right now!!" this bitch—

✧ warnings: karens, oc gets all panicky, bubbling anxiety, rude af people, unhealthy relations with parents, unrequited love? (oc doesn’t really know)

This fic was genuinely fun to write! I know I did not do a very good job on this it’s lengthy with useless info but it just felt important. Let me know what you think of this!

Also, the title is inspired by Jeremy Zucker's comethru

As a new worker in a big restaurant, there are a few words one could dread to hear. For example, 'You're fired' sounds horrifying, gut wrenching, all your student loans flash before your eyes. It's scary, yes, but it's not as dreadful as the infamous —

"Can I see your manager?"

"Ma'am I already told you the restaurant opens at 11:30 am, and none of the staff arrives before 11, but I'd be happy to serve you at 11:30" you assured.

BANG!

One of the three ladies with a blonde bob cut hit at the door again.

"We don't talk to low class workers, call your manager!" Called out another from the group while the bangs continued. It was so loud you were almost afraid that they will tear this place down.

"Because of the unavailability of the manager, a low class worker is all you'll have to speak to for now," you spat, "but I'd be happiest if you don't speak to me at all"

Numerous loud gasps were heard. If the head chef heard you talking like this, you'll be out of the restaurant sooner than these karens can call your manager.

"HOW DARE YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO A CUSTOMER???"

"Ma'am since you have not walked into the restaurant yet, you are not our customer." you tried to explain, "The restaurant opens at 11:30 ma'am which is just in an hour and a half, I suggest you wait outside on one of the tables."

Even though it was kinda against the rules to sit on the tables unless you eat at the restaurant, but you desperately needed to get rid of the situation. The restaurant didn't even open yet, so what could be the big deal about them sitting on the benches outside. You were just hoping your manager would be understanding.

Anticipating another harsh string of words from them, the total silence that hit you surprised you. You pulled the blinds lower and peeked through them. The ladies were seated on the chairs outside, looking through their phones. Even though a bit shocked that they decided to do what you asked so easily, you didn't wanna jinx it. You thanked your lucky stars and moved on to getting the coffee machine started.

The day hasn't even started yet and the karens are here to disrupt the place already. Being the newbie, you have to come early to get this place started and on top of that, people like them are making it even harder. You clearly don't get paid enough for this.

Moving on to wiping all the tables, you were wishing that when your manger arrives, he'll understand the situation. To come to think of it, he's actually a good man and been nothing but nice to you since you joined here a month ago. He even covered up for you when you broke a plate. Another time he took the blame upon himself when you put a bit too much salt in of the dishes and a few people left unsatisfied. He's been sheltering you ever since you joined here and you've been enjoying this more than you should. Yet you still can't help but hope he handles it this time too and saves you from these heinous Karens.

brrring brrring brrring!!

The sounds catches you off guard not because of it's sudden penetration into the too good to be true silence, but because it shouldn't be ringing when it's the restaurant's hours closed. Nevertheless against your better judgement you pick it up and place the receiver between your ear and shoulder.

"Thanks for calling the Nile's! My name is y/n, how can I help you today?"

"We have a coupon for a free meal at your restaurant and we demand you open it right now!!"

this bitch—

"Ma'am as I explained already, the restaurant opens at 11:30 and if you walk in by then, I'll be happy to serve you and make use of your coupons too." Is it too early to quit?

"Am I talking to the manager?" she asked penetratingly.

"The manager is not here yet, but as soon as he arrives, I'll make sure you're the first person he talks to." you tried calmly hoping it would help.

The woman on the line took a deep breath but nothing could prepare you for the coming onslaught of distress.

"Missy you've been saying this to us since the morning and yet your manager isn't here. You should not open a restaurant when you do not know how to run it.”

She was so loud you couldn't even hear yourself losing the will to live.

"You do not know my husband. If he gets to know about the way you've treated me today, your restaurant will be closed forever." She threatened and you could hear her talking from the outside. Did she know that you did not own the restaurant?? "You should be grateful to me for not telling. Now open this damn door RIGHT NOW!!”

Another round of bangs started ringing and it echoed through the walls. They seemed louder than you know they should've been. And it was the trigger. The helplessness of the situation created panic. Your eyes unfocused, your stomach churned and your heartbeat escalated. You felt trapped.

Her shrill sound coming from the phone felt like it was piercing your ear drums and you could no longer understand what she was saying. So you slammed the receiver back into place, not knowing what to do anymore.

The grip on the cloth between your fingers seemed weak. You have always been a strong woman, dealing with irrational people all your life since you spent most of it around such people. But the karens have been tormenting you since the past 30 minutes and it was bound to get to you, sooner or later. Though you'd hoped for later rather than sooner. They way they started banging on the door while demanding something from you seemed so familiar to the way your parents banged on your bedroom door when you locked yourself in to save yourself from them.

Anywho, the situation is delayed for now and you have to calm down and start working again or you won't be done till the rest of the staff comes around. You don't know till when you'll be living under Yoongi's shadows and he'll be protecting you.

You put your hands on your face and let out a deep breath. Back to work bitches.

You started wiping the tables again, trying to think about something else. That 'something else' had a lot of options for you like, how are you going to repay your student loan that you took to go to college and didn't even help you land a decent job, or how your mom has been pestering you since months to get married and you haven't the found the best way to tell her yet that you wanna focus on your career for now and become a chef, or... well let's just say you had better things to worry about. But your train off thoughts was cut short when the phone rang again.

You already knew who was calling, so you decided against picking up. The ear splitting sound of the phone again echoed through the walls and it made you want to throw the phone against a wall. You know the restaurant phones should be loud enough to be heard by the staff even when the place is busy, but it did not help with the way it was making you feel.

After what seemed like forever, it stopped ringing and you went on to work again. The phone rang several times after that and with each ring, you felt your patience slipping farther away from you. You had half the mind to pick up the phone and tell them off, but you knew it would only anger them further. Yet you couldn't let this go on so after at least a dozen calls, you decided to pick it up.

"Thanks for calling at the Nile's! My name is y/n how can I help you today?" you spoke through a sigh.

"I'VE BEEN CALLING AT THIS DAMN RESTAURANT SINCE THE PAST 2 HOURS AND NOBODY HAS PICKED IT UP." she bellowed. If you thought she was loud and shrill earlier, you would change your mind now. Also, 2 hours????? you weren’t even here 2 hours ago!

"I HAVE GOT ALL THAT YOU HAVE DONE ON MY PHONE AND I WILL POST THIS ALL ON FACEBOOK THE WAY YOU HAVE TREATED ME IS NOT AT ALL A WAY TO TREAT A CUSTOMER." she didn't even pause for a breath "WAIT TILL MY HUSBAND HEARS ABOUT THIS."

You didn't dare say anything for the fear that anything that may come out of your mouth right now, may anger her further, considering, you were not the manager she hoped to talk to.

There was small hustle on the other end. You could hear the ladies outside arguing a little. After a short pause, someone spoke again.

"Am I talking to manager?" this was not the woman who yelled at you earlier but someone else.

"Yes you are, ma'am"

You let out a small shriek. Surprised to see the receiver that was in your hands a moment ago, placed against Yoongi's ear. When the hell did he get here and how did you not even realize?? Even so, a strange feeling of safety filled up your chest at the sight of him and you felt like you could breath again.

"No ma'am, we cannot do that for you. As y/n here explained to you, the restaurant opens at 11:30 and no exceptions will be made for anyone." he explained calmly and it had you hoping that they'd listen to him if not you.

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused to you ma'am."

You just stood being a witness to one side of the conversation. You could hear someone talking outside the restaurant as well, but couldn't make out their exact words.

You admired his calm even in such a patronizing situation. At least to you, it was that way. In your eyes, he seemed so serene, his lips moved to utter the most calming sounds and you felt like you'd hand over your life to him if he asked you for it.

You really needed to practice professional work ethics when it came to him.

"Yes we will take care of this in the future, thank you for your suggestion."

"Ma'am we do not accept any kind of coupons for any of the meals provided here. Are you sure it is the same restaurant?"

Wait. But we do accept coupons here at the Nile's...

"No ma'am we cannot do that for you. There is no such policy, and we do not accept coupons."

"You can totally go ahead and call the police for yourself and we'll be sure to tell them how have harassed one of our workers over here." He said in an unbothered tone, gaze floating to you and you strangely found yourself looking away.

"Sure thing. Thank you for calling!"

And he placed the receiver back, as if job accomplished.

"Are you okay y/n?" He questioned. In his deep eyes, you saw genuine concern for yourself and you wanted to stay there for some while more. His voice was music to your ears and you did not want your own voice to taint the air around.

But he asked you something.

"Yeah." you said breathlessly and cleared your throat. "Yes, I'm fine, thanks for the help Yoongi"

It was something he insisted you call him even though the rules say he is your senior and should be addressed as so.

"Such people are so irritating and do not deserve to be let out of their homes. What kind of a husband would it be, huh!" he wondered, "though I question if there is any husband at all or she was just bluffing."

"Yeah I know right?" you didn't know what to say. "Though it was really impressive the way you handled them, I could never!"

He laughed at that. Sounded so heavenly, your knees kind of gave out.

And it was another day when he saved you. Why does he do that for you? Why was he here here so early? Why does he even try to get to close to you?

These are questions you do not have the answers to yet. You hope to get them someday. But you are happy they you are right now. Or maybe you are too afraid that the answers to these questions wouldn't be what you'd like to hear. Maybe he was just being nice and you being a horndog took the hint wrong way.

But for now, you have all the time (45 mins max before some other employee comes) to enjoy this moment with him alone in the closed restaurant, surrounded by the smell of food and his cologne and you have no idea which you like better. You wouldn't have it any other way.

masterlist | fin. 

#yoongi #yoongi imagine #yoongi scenario #yoongi sfw #manager yoongi #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fluff #yoonfi hurt/comfort #yoongi angst #yoongi fic

[saltysalmonkid]

Guys i cant stop thinking abt wwdits polycule dynamics so heres me infodumping about them yas

Nandor and Laszlo first bc i care them and people don't talk about them enough!!!! Their relationship isn't all that defined (mostly bc theyre geezers who don't know what a queerplatonic relationship is) but they are very tender and sweet to each other when they want to be. No spoken words, just soft touches and little gestures here and there. I also like to think that the manor they live in was first owned by Laszlo and Nadja but then Laszlo met Nandor and they fooled around on and off so much so that Nandor decided to move in because they had a spare room and he spent so much time at the house already anyway.

Colin Robinson and Laszlo next. Shut up he is not a baby i have no fucking clue what you are talking about you sound insane right now. I think i said this before but i stand by the fact that Colin Robinson will constantly try to annoy Laszlo and then get taken aback and embarrassed when Laszlo just finds his antics cute. When Laszlo realises this he does everything in his power to try and fluster Colin Robinson. It only works about 30% of the time. They go out and do gross, unspeakable amounts of pda quite often because Laszlo's a freak and Colin Robinson can get a pretty good meal out of the collective disgust of the onlookers. Also maybe he enjoys it a little bit but he'd never tell.

Now Guillermo and Laszlo. I'm sure its dawning upon you at this point that when I say "wwdits polycule" what i really mean is "laszlo's continuous quest to obtain more and more partners" and tbh i'm not apologising for it. Once he starts seeing Guillermo as an equal they both find each others' company surprisingly pleasant, and Laszlo takes on a sort of mentoral position in Guillermo's life, teaching him various silly things like playing the piano or how to properly tend to the garden. Guillermo enjoys the domesticity of it all and Laszlo enjoys how enthusiastic Guillermo is when learning. Also, when he finds out that Guillerno is trans he offers to bring him to the witches to get gender affirmation surgeries in a much cheaper and less intrusive manner than human doctors can provide(which is how he did it back in the 1800s, as he tells Guillermo) They reminisce about their childhood, compare past experiences, Guillermo asks him what it was like to be trans back when he was still human, so on and so forth. Sometimes he lets Guillermo tag along on his date nights with Nadja.

Nadja and Guillermo now. Guillermo's not strictly into men, perse, but it's very rare that hes actually attracted to any women. Im not sure if they would be that romantically involved with each other, but they definitely care about each other a lot (specially after the London Incident) and they confide in each other very often. Plus theyre almost the same species of girlboss so they get along pretty well. Usually they'll share looks of exasperation whenever nandor and laszlo do stupid shit and gossip about things and go on fun shopping trips (because laszlo has been banned from shopping ever since he tried to go back home with two carts full of electronics from best buy but nadja still enjoys it so she goes with guillermo instead) Nadja also loves to dress Guillermo up because he has "a steaming heap of donkey shit for a fashion sense" and Guillermo doesn't mind because he likes to be doted on.

Nadja and Nandor now. I actually see their relationship as more of a sibling dynamic than anything, especially w the way they treat each other in the show it's really reminiscent of the way two siblings might squabble, like how they act like they hate each other but when one or the other seems to be in genuine distress they soften up and show genuine care and concern for the other's wellbeing. Some notable examples of this are the gail episode (nadja genuinely being worried that nandor is going to have his heart broken again) and the siren episode (nandor doing his best to placate nadja and help her find her dollie). Because of this i imagine Nandor confides in her a lot, or at least under the guise of complaining. Nadja acts like its a HUUUGE hassle for her every single time but she'll still make no move to walk away from him and will even give him advice on occasion. As for Nadja, she has Laszlo to talk to usually, but everytime they have a lover's spat she'll turn to Nandor and Nandor will usually be kind of at a loss for what to do and will end up awkwardly patting her on the back as she clings to him and moans and cries about how terrible her stupid beautiful husband is being to her. Also, after the London Incident she's become very over protective of Guillermo and will scold Nandor every time he makes him upset.

I'm going to do the rest of the Colin Robinson ones in a batch because i have puzzled over them for ages and still can't come up with anything. Anyway I think out of the rest of them he's most friendly with Guillermo, if only because they spend the most time together as daywalkers. Sometimes if he takes pity on Guillermo he'll do the grocery shopping for him for the week. Nadja and Colin Robinson have a tense relationship at best, especially after Colin Robinson tried to make a move on her that one time. She thinks he is a very annoying little man. Colin Robinson finds her easiest to feed on because she is the most easily irritated one in the house, even more than Nandor. And speaking of Nandor, he's sort of got no opinion on the c-man. They kind of just tolerate each other's existences. Though occasionally Nandor will ask Colin Robinson about things he's genuinely interested in because he knows Colin Robinson knows a lot of stupid random trivia and Colin Robinson will indulge him if only so he can go off on several tangents to drain him a wee bit in the process. (Usually all Nandor asks about are horses.)

Okay, that's all for now gimmy ur own hcs if u hv any

#sorry for 2 long posts in a row this ones actyally sat in my drafts for a while. #Nyway #wwdits #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #what we do in the shadows #nandermo #nandor x guillermo #laszlo cravensworth #nadja of antipaxos #colin robinson #laszlin #laszlo x colin #ramblings

[tumbleweed-palmer]

Fate: Jimmy Palmer X Reader

They say you never forget your first love. For Jimmy Palmer his first love was in college, but life ripped them apart and broke his heart. Jimmy is about to test the theory that you never forget your first love.

because I rolled the phrase "this isn't what I wanted" for the angst category and I wanted to write something featuring the goth girlfriend I mentioned in my theory about Jimmy's backstory.

I gave it a happy ending because I'm a sap today. If people like it and want more I may write more with these two. Please enjoy.

-------

To be perfectly honest, Jimmy Palmer wasn’t exactly in the partying mood, but he also just so happened to be incapable of telling a friend no. So when Abby had begged him to meet up with her, a few of their coworkers, and some new friend she’d made, after work on a Friday night for drinks, Jimmy had been unable to say no.

He’d had the slightest feeling that his friend and coworker had just been making an attempt to brighten his spirits given his less than cheerful mood lately. Jimmy had done his best to mask his distress, but he knew those closest to him could sense that he wasn’t as bright and cheery as usual.

He told himself that he didn’t really have much of a right to feel down, after all wasn’t he the one who had ended things with Michelle Lee? Ending things had been the right thing to do.

It hadn’t even been a relationship he’d realized, or at least not a relationship in a traditional sense.

If anything it had been all physical. They’d been friends with benefits really. Every Friday for the past six months they’d been meeting up every morning and hooking up around NCIS. Pretty soon they were hooking up at work on other days of the week as well. They’d even had a few quickies in a grungy bar bathroom when the entire NCIS crew had gone out for drinks after work. She’d been the one who’d initiated the fling after a month of obvious flirting and hinting around at what she wanted. Jimmy had just gone with it, it had been flattering honestly, to have that kind of attention directed towards him. It wasn't something he was accustomed to, having female attention so focused on him.

It had been fun at first, but as time had gone on Jimmy had begun to long for more than just a physical relationship.

He’d made attempts to ask Michelle on an actual date that didn’t involve just sleeping together and going their separate ways, but Michelle always seemed to have an excuse as to why it couldn’t happen.

Any attempts he’d made at asking for more had been shot down by Michelle. It had seemed that the concept of commitment and more than sex had made her itchy. She didn’t even have to say the words to give Jimmy the impression that she was commitment phobic.

It had been quite easy for Jimmy to feel as though he was being used by Michelle.

So as much as he’d genuinely liked her he had decided that he couldn’t stand around and be used as a quick lay any longer.

He’d done the only sensible thing, he’d called it off.

It had been simple, like ripping off a bandaid.

Michelle had taken it well. Of course there had been a bit of awkwardness between them and even a hint of sadness that it was over, but she’d seemed to take the end of their fling well.

Jimmy was having a harder time dealing with the end.

It wasn’t that he was upset it was over. He knew it was for the best that it was over. The entire situation hadn’t been good for him in the long run. The lack of commitment or a real relationship hadn’t been what Jimmy was searching for. It was obvious Michelle and he just wanted different things from their arrangement.

If anything Jimmy felt down because he knew this was yet another failure in his romantic life. It was another crushing breakup to add to the list of Jimmy’s failed romantic endeavors.

He did all he could to pull his mind from the disappointment, knowing that a nice night out would brighten his spirits. Besides Abby seemed pretty insistent that he meet this new friend of hers. She was a new neighbor and Abby had been talking her up throughout the week to Jimmy.

Jimmy couldn’t shake the feeling that his coworker was trying to play matchmaker between him and this mystery friend, but he’d decided to just shut off his hesitations and just roll with it.

Abby couldn’t wreck his love life anymore than he already had, he’d decided. He was just going to meet this new neighbor of hers and see how things went.

It wasn’t as though he had to marry this girl. This wasn’t even a date. It was just a casual get together with no strings attached.

He told himself that there was no harm with just going with the flow for tonight.

He did his best to lose the tension in his body and paste a smile on his face as he entered the bar working his way though the crowd until he finally located Abby.

She practically bounced over to him the words flying out her mouth ninety miles a second. “Jimmy, I’m so happy you showed up!”

“Yeah, sorry I’m a little late, I wanted to go home and shower and change…especially after dealing with that body today. I just threw on another work suit so I didn’t look too underdressed given everyone else is still probably in their work clothes.” Jimmy replied, trying not to scrunch his nose up at the memory of the badly decomposed body Dr. Mallard and he had attended to for the better part of the day. He usually had a pretty strong stomach given his line of work, but this particular body had decomposed to the point that there was quite a bit of maggot activity. Jimmy might be able to handle a lot of things that came along with his job, but maggots still made his skin crawl.

Abby thankfully didn’t bring up the maggot situation; she quickly nodded her head grasping onto his wrist and began to drag him towards the bar. “It’s fine, you aren’t too late. I don’t think anyone would care if you showed up in something more casual. Come on, there's someone I want you to meet.”

Jimmy tried to take a deep breath and push back any of the usual anxiety that always swelled in his gut when it came to meeting new people as he allowed Abby to lead the way.

He felt the breath leave his body time seeming to stand still as they approached the bar and the woman Abby so was insistent he meet.

He was sure his heart stopped beating as she turned to face him, her eyes widening in recognition.

It was strange how ten years had gone by but they could still recognize one another as though they’d only seen the other yesterday.

Jimmy stared down at her feeling lightheaded as he took her in. They’d only been twenty years old the last time they’d spoken, but he would recognize her eyes anywhere.

Those were the same eyes he’d spent his nights staring into all those years ago. They were the eyes he’d thought he’d spend the rest of his life gazing into.

It was clear she’d changed over the course of the past decade and to be fair Jimmy was certain he’d changed as well.

She no longer wore the platform mary janes that placed her a little closer to Jimmy’s height and she no longer wore the old beat up pair of black doc martens combat boots. Her make up was still on the darker side but she’d ditched the black and the purple lipstick choosing a simple glossed lip instead. Her hair was still dyed a pitch black but the style was shorter cut to a shoulder length so different from the longer hair she'd sported in college. She'd lost the heavy bangs she'd worn in college and she parted her hair to the side now. Her clothing seemed more subdued. He was sure you could still classify her as being goth, but she seemed to be a bit more laid back with her clothing choices. She’d lost the corsets and lace gowns she'd gravitated towards in college it seemed. She still seemed to be attached to an alternative style given the black peter pan collar dress she was wearing and the tiny skull pendant hanging around her neck.

He could spot that she’d not added any further tattoos to her skin or at least it seemed she hadn’t from what he could view of her body. It wasn’t as though she’d ever had an exorbitant amount of ink in the first place. She’d only had a few pieces done, a rose on her inner left wrist and from what he could remember a intricate cameo on her thigh. They’d both been her own artwork and he’d always been so impressed that she’d been so talented.

He knew he’d changed since college as well though not by much. He’d lost a bit of baby fat and had at least maintained a fit midsection. He knew he dressed much more professionally now. His usual outfit of choice in college had been a t-shirt, jeans, and a beat up pair of converse. College aged him might occasionally throw on a sweater over the t-shirt, but that was as dressed up as he’d gotten. His hair was still as messy as it had always been though he tried to at least manage it with pomade now. His glasses hadn't changed since college of course. They were the same pair of round frames he'd had since high school and he had always been quite attached to them. He suddenly felt strange wearing one of his usual work suits and ties in front of her.

She managed to work the words from her lips still in just as much disbelief as him. “Jimmy?”

“Y/N.” the words left him having the feeling that if the bar was silent you’d be able to hear a pin drop.

He stared down at her speechless. What could he say to her? What could he say to the woman who had once been his everything?

He felt his mind drift back to who they’d been so long ago, back when they’d been happy together and the world had seemed far more simple.

Nineteen year old Jimmy Palmer was quite certain that he’d learned more about himself in the past year than he’d ever expected. He’d learned a few life lessons thus far.

He’d grown quite a bit in just a year's time. Yes he was still an awkward mess at the best of times, but he’d learned so much about himself. He was slowly becoming more comfortable in his own skin.

Everyone had told him that college would be the time for him to explore who he truly was and who he wanted to be, but he was quite sure that the people who had given him the advice about exploring his world, hadn’t quite meant this situation.

Jimmy struggled to catch his breath, his body still shuddering and his skin growing clammy from dried perspiration. He did his best to hold himself up but found that his arms just felt too weak to keep himself from collapsing a huff leaving him as his body began to grow slack.

He couldn’t focus on anything more than the equally sweat soaked incredibly soft body below him and the warmth of her still wrapped so tight around his cock.

He groaned knowing one lesson he’d learned in the past year was that he was growing quite proficient on the speed at which he could roll on a condom.

He reluctantly pulled from her body a groan leaving his lips at the friction against his spent member as he slid out of her he having gone soft and feeling far too sensitive.

He spoke his voice raspy as he collapsed back against the pillows resting on his back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to crush you.”

“I’m not that delicate.” She replied an amused chuckle leaving her the sound causing Jimmy’s heart to swell as it always seemed to do at any hint of laughter from her.

“Yeah, but I’m still going to apologize. I’m a gentleman.” He remarked, forcing himself to find the energy to turn and face her.

She rolled her eyes slightly a snort leaving her as she turned to face him. “Oh yeah a real gentleman, You weren’t much of a gentleman when you begged me to sit on your face earlier.”

“Uh, I beg your pardon. Only a real gentleman would beg you to let him eat you out.” Jimmy insisted his eyes leaving hers becoming much more interested in focusing on a pleasing sight.

She rolled her eyes once again, spotting his eyes drift down to her bare breasts. Such a typical boy.

She spoke, voicing this thought out loud. “My eyes are up here.”

He felt his cheeks flush from more than their previous activities. He didn’t think anyone could blame him. Her breasts were technically the first pair of breasts he’d seen outside of the occasional porn he guiltily indulged in. Though he’d seen her nude over a dozen times now, the sight still left him feeling beyond brainless.

He cleared his throat the words leaving him. “Sorry, but not sorry.”

He opened his arms fast to speak again. “Cuddles?”

She shook her head nodding down at his crotch. “Lose the condom first. I really don’t want a repeat of last time.”

He felt his cheeks flush remembering the mess that had been made the last time he’d fallen asleep in the used condom and the fact that she’d not been too pleased to wake up with the evidence on the bed sheets that she’d been resting on.

He did as she said, finding some tissue on the bedside table making quick work of removing the condom and tying it off, disposing of it in the wastebasket by the bed.

That was another lesson he’d learned, always keep a wastebasket by the bed.

He relaxed back against the bed opening his arms to her once again pleased that she gave in, snuggling against him wrapping her arms around his waist.

He embraced her just as tightly, doing all he could to resist the urge to fall asleep. He was pretty sure girls hated it when the guy passed out right after the deed was done.

Though she was the only girl he’d had any experience with, so really he was just going based off of what he’d heard.

He ran his hand up and down her back his heart still feeling so full he thought it just might burst.

If anyone asked him if he loved her, he would quickly declare that Y/N Y/L/N was the love of his life.

He knew they were only nineteen years old, but he was certain she was the love of his life.

His roommate Derek, of course, hadn't been too convinced the few times Jimmy had worked up the nerve to share how much he loved Y/N when she wasn’t around.

Derek had been quite insistent that Jimmy probably didn’t know what he was talking about. He’d not so kindly pointed out that Y/N was literally the first and only girl Jimmy had ever had sex with so of course Jimmy was in love with her.

Jimmy had felt his cheeks flush in times like these. He knew his inexperience had been pretty obvious to everyone.

Derek had been the first friend Jimmy had made in his college experience. They’d lived in a dorm back then, and it had been clear as day that then 18 year old Jimmy Palmer was a virgin. Actually he was more than a virgin. He’d never even been kissed.

It wasn’t for a lack of trying. Jimmy had just, well he’d never gotten on with his peers.

He’d been an extrovert and had no problem talking to people, but he’d always been viewed as being odd by his peers.

He’d gone to small charter schools his entire life. He’d earned a reputation for being weird from his classmates.

They’d seen a bright and over enthusiastic boy and had viewed him as being too much. He talked too much. He was too enthusiastic and too pushy when it came to trying to form friendships. He had morbid interests. He was interested in things that made the other kids nervous.

Death had been a big interest for Jimmy Palmer.

He’d become fascinated with death and dying at only six years old after his first pet had died. He’d stared down at his dead gerbil entranced with the question of why animals and people had to die?

As he’d grown older this question had become focused on the science behind death. He’d found a book in the library when he was twelve years old that focused on forensics. When Jimmy had read about medical examiners he’d been sold on the concept of pursuing this career.

He’d been unable to stop himself from throwing himself into this fascination. His peers had noticed and had written him off as being creepy.

Girls didn’t exactly line up around the corner to give the time of day to the guy who’d proudly declared that he wanted to be a medical examiner when he grew up.

HIgh school had been okay for Jimmy Palmer, he’d only had twelve students in his graduating class including himself. His class had been filled with girls, and he’d managed to be homecoming king, but it hadn’t been out of popularity. The girls had chosen him because he was the only choice.

They hadn’t given him the time of day when it came to romance. They had made it known that they weren’t interested in any awkward attempts at romance that had been made on his end.

So, Jimmy Palmer had entered college having never been kissed and having never dated.

Derek had changed everything. He’d begged Jimmy to help him out. Derek had finally gotten a girl he’d been hitting on for a month in his college algebra class to agree to a date at a bonfire down at the beach that was happening that weekend.

There was a condition though, Derek had to find a date for this girl’s roommate.

So, Jimmy had been approached with the offer to be that date.

Jimmy had wanted to say no, he knew that girls found him strange. Romance had always failed him.

He was susceptible to peer pressure though.

So, against his better judgment Jimmy had said yes.

Derek had insisted that this mystery date of Jimmy’s was pretty cute if Jimmy was into goth chicks that is. Derek had insisted that he’d been reassured that Y/N Y/L/N was an attractive girl if you liked girls that only wore black and seemed into skulls and tattoos. Jimmy had admitted he wasn’t exactly sure what he was into.

He had never had much of a chance to explore just what he liked.

He’d quickly realized that he was into goth chicks, or at the very least he was into Y/N.

Things had been painfully awkward at first, especially given the fact that Derek and his date had quickly ditched Jimmy and Y/N leaving them alone to attempt to talk.

Jimmy was sure he’d wrecked everything when he’d spoken “Do you want to get out of here?”

He’d spoken again quickly fearing she’d taken his comment to mean he was asking her to hook up. “I mean, that came out wrong. Not get out of here like that, I mean, I-uh, there’s a diner I saw earlier. Do you like burgers?”

He’d felt relieved as she’d spoken soothing his growing panic attack. “I could eat.”

At the diner Jimmy had been convinced that he’d ruined things once again when he’d let his career ambitions slip when they’d been talking about their classes.

Much to his shock though Y/N hadn’t run screaming at the mention of medical examiners. He’d been dumbfounded as she’d asked him questions and had seemed genuinely interested in his dream career.

He’d quickly realized that Y/N Y/L/N was nothing like any girl he’d ever met before.

Though the relationship between Derek and Y/N’s roommate had ended brutally, Jimmy and Y/N had continued to see one another.

She’d not even run screaming when Jimmy had admitted his lack of experience.

She was more experienced than him but not by much. She’d been experienced enough to patiently teach him a thing or two though.

She’d taught him to kiss. She’d shown him just how much fun kissing could be. She’d allowed him to see her body, not minding when he was shy about his own body.  She’d taught him how to pleasure a woman and hadn’t seemed to mind when he was awkward or nervous or far too eager. She hadn’t been disappointed by how quickly their first time making love had ended. She’d not admonished him when he’d cum so quickly only a few thrusts in and hadn’t judged the tears that had left his eyes after the deed was done. She’d reassured him that they had time to build up stamina and had time to explore more. She’d gently provided him guidance and reassurance as he explored her body and just how good they could both make their bodies feel.

She was quite literally his first everything.

He had to hope that she was going to be his last everything. He couldn’t imagine his life without her.

He knew his friends told him he was foolish and far too young to be so sure he wanted to settle down forever with one girl, but Jimmy was convinced.

Y/N and he would be together forever. He had to believe they would be together forever.

Jimmy let out a heavy sigh unable to wipe the smile from his lips. “Derek is gone all weekend.”

She chuckled at this quick to reply. “I know, that’s the first thing you told me when you asked me to come over after class.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple, his voice light and content. “I just love it when he’s gone. We can be all alone without any interruptions. We get the entire place to ourselves and we can be as loud as we want.”

She thought about insisting that he was the only loud one, but held it in. “It does beat trying to be quiet in a dorm room.”

He groaned remembering how many awkward sexual encounters they’d had just the year before before he’d moved out into an apartment with Derek.

The apartment was kind of shitty to be honest, but at least he didn’t have to try to have sex with his girlfriend on a creaking dorm bed hoping against hope that Derek noticed the do not disturb sign Jimmy had left on the door leading into their room.

The do not disturb sign had been Derek’s idea. It was a subtle way of letting one another know that they needed some privacy because they either had a girl in the room or they were simply taking care of things with their own hand and a dirty magazine.

It was much more subtle than a tie or a sock tied to the door handle especially in a dorm filled with other college students who might be more aware of what a sock or a tie on a door handle meant.

Needless to say, ever since Jimmy had moved into an apartment Y/N had been a constant visitor despite Derek’s snarky comments.

Jimmy had a feeling Derek was simply bitter that Jimmy had managed to secure a relationship while Derek played the field. Or at least that seemed to be the case. Jimmy was just relieved that Derek seemed to realize that he shouldn’t say anything in front of Y/N, as he seemed to realize that this would push things too far.

Jimmy spoke unable to stop himself from asking. “So, am I allowed to tag along during your studio time tomorrow or will your professor get crabby again?”

“Only if you promise to let me actually get some painting done.” She replied, chuckling at the memory of her professor spotting Jimmy during Y/N’s studio time and seeming less than pleased that Y/N had brought her boyfriend along.

It wasn’t that big of a deal to be honest. The studio time was her own personal time. It wasn’t as though Jimmy came to class with her.

“I’ll be good, boy scouts promise. I just like to watch you work.” He stated unable to hide the adoration from his voice.

She felt her heart swoon at this statement. She knew it was true. Jimmy was her biggest supporter.

If her professor told her one of her pieces looked awful Jimmy was fast to point out all the things he loved about it. Her professor was just pretentious Jimmy had insisted.

She had to kind of trust Jimmy, her boyfriend may have chosen a more analytical path with his education but he understood art. He was quite gifted himself. Several of their dates had involved drawing and painting together.

She ran her hand along Jimmy’s chest placing it over his heart her voice soft. “I love having you there.”

He grinned staring down at her hand and the ring on her finger. It was a simple silver ring with a dainty natural moonstone gem nestled into the center of it. It was something he’d found downtown when he was supposed to be on a mission to buy his mom a birthday gift.

The ring wasn’t expensive but it wasn’t cheap either. Jimmy’s grandmother had a tendency to deposit money in his account insisting she wanted him to focus on his studies. His family had the money for him to focus on school without having to worry about part time jobs. He had his rent, his food, and his education all covered. He knew he was lucky, most people didn’t get that advantage.

So, he had the money to buy the ring right on sight. It was beautiful, just as beautiful as her.

He’d been so nervous when he’d presented it to her. He’d been sure she’d get spooked thinking he was proposing. He wasn’t sure if she was ready to take that step yet though she did say she imagined she might get married and have kids maybe one day after she had time to make art.

It wasn’t an engagement ring he’d reassured her. It was a promise ring.

Of course, it wasn’t a promise ring pledging purity. It was a promise of his love, a promise that he saw his future with her. The ring was a promise to love her forever.

She was unable to stop herself from pressing a kiss to his cheek, her voice soft. “I love you.”

Jimmy felt the words leave him without any hesitation. “I love you too, forever.”

“Forever is a long time.” She remarked knowing they’d gone down this line of conversation before many times.

Jimmy gave her a smile so sure of the words as they left him. “It is a long time, but that’s what makes it so wonderful. I am looking forward to loving you forever.”

Jimmy was pulled from the memory Abby’s voice sounding out, spotting the obvious tension between her coworker and new friend. “Wait, do you?... Do you two know each other?”

Jimmy and Y/N stared at one another neither sure of how to answer the question.

Yes, he was mine once. Yes, she was my first everything. Yes, we used to love each other. Yes, I thought we would be together forever.

Jimmy found the words knowing that there was only one way to answer without giving away far too much information. “We went to college together.”

Abby furrowed her brow quickly getting the impression that there was far more to the story that neither Jimmy nor Y/N were telling her.

She bit her tongue, resisting the urge to ask for more information. She could still feel the tension hanging in the air impossibly thick despite the loud energy in the bar.

She cleared her throat sensing that the pair needed time alone to sort out whatever this was between them. “I’m going to go find McGee, you two look like you need a moment.”

Y/N found the words as Abby disappeared leaving Jimmy and her alone. “I can leave if you want.”

“Why would I want you to leave?” Jimmy asked no malice in his voice as she’d expected.

She sighed, shifting in place her stomach in knots. “This is your space. They are your friends and coworkers. Abby was your friend first…I don’t want to make things uncomfortable.”

“You won’t, I mean, you have a right to be here.” Jimmy replied, uncertain of how to feel.

Part of him wanted to run away from the mixed feelings coursing through him. He felt bitter to see her, he felt heartbroken, he felt overjoyed to see her. A part of him wanted to pull her close to him and beg her to never leave him again.

He felt his throat tighten up at this thought; she leaving him again.

It had been ten years and the pain was still so fresh. It was like she’d just left him yesterday. Even all these years later, it still hurt.

Against his better judgment he spoke the words that left him so identical to what he’d said to her on the beach that night all those years ago. “Do you want to get out of here?”

He paused, clearing his throat, clearing up his statement. “There’s a diner down the street…I think we, I think we should talk.”

Y/N wanted to run away. She wanted to escape whatever conversation they were about to have.

She knew though that she couldn’t run away. Hadn’t she run away ten years ago? That was how this had gone so wrong, she’d run away.

She owed it to him not to run away this time around.

………………………………………

The diner wasn’t too busy and the waitress seemed less than interested in customers who just ordered coffee and slices of pie that they didn’t touch.

It was clear that they wanted to be left alone and the waitress was more interested in flirting with the line cook than focusing on the couple who seemed to carry an energy that suggested they both wanted to run as far away from one another as possible.

They sat in silence for a long while before Jimmy spoke, staring down at his cup of coffee, his hands forming fists to keep them from shaking. “How long have you been back in the area?”

Y/N cleared her throat, her voice soft. “Only a few months. I got a job offer at a local gallery and took it. The pay was too good to pass it up. It allows me to work in the art industry and work on my own pieces in my freetime.”

“You’re still painting.” Jimmy remarked the comment was more of a statement than a question.

“And you’re a medical examiner.” Y/N replied, unable to hide the smallest hint of pride from her voice though she shoved it back down.

She told herself that she didn’t have the right to be proud of him for following his dreams. She’d lost the right to be proud of him when she’d broken his heart.

“I’m only an assistant medical examiner. I started medical school not too long ago. With any luck I’ll be able to pass the exam and call myself a medical examiner though.” Jimmy explained, unable to deny that it did feel good to tell her the news.

There had been more than once over the years that he had longed to tell her what had happened with his life. Once she’d been such a big part of his dreams. There were still times he struggled knowing she was no longer there to share those dreams with.

He swallowed the lump in his throat unable to stop himself from asking. Even if it hurt he wanted to know what she’d been up to since she’d left him. “You finished school?”

“Yes, it took a while, and I had some setbacks, but I recently finally got my bachelors.” She remarked daring to look up from her own cup of coffee daring to really take him in outside of the dark bar.

It had been so long, and she’d spent too long wondering what he was like now. She’d wondered if he was he still the sweet boy she’d fallen in love with back when she was eighteen. She’d spent so long regretting the choices she’d made as a scared twenty year old who broke his delicate heart. She’d never thought life would be forgiving enough to present Jimmy Palmer to her ever again.

They say you never forgot your first love. She had to think it was true. It had been so long but Jimmy Palmer had not been forgotten.

Jimmy nodded his head daring to look up his eyes meeting hers finding it hard to look away. Her eyes still could pull him in after all this time. How could her eyes still have a power over him even after the hurt? “I’m glad, I know you really loved school.”

She felt her stomach churn at the words left unsaid between them. She had no idea how to even say them. Who was to say she had the right to say them now?

He spoke again, unable to stop himself from asking. “What else has happened in your life?”

She took a deep breath knowing that there was no way of hiding the biggest way her life had changed.

She spoke, deciding to just come out and say it. “I have a son.”

Jimmy widened his eyes, a flurry of emotions washing over him. She was a mother? She had a child?

He felt his heart ache at the thought. He had once been convinced she would be the mother to his children one day.

He felt his heart ache all the harder realizing if there was a child there was also a boyfriend or maybe even a husband or a fiancé at the very least.

Then again he didn’t see a ring on her finger. If there was someone then surely Abby wouldn’t have been trying to play matchmaker between them, right?

He hushed the thought telling himself it shouldn’t even matter. Everything they’d had had been in the past. If she had someone then it didn’t matter. They were no longer one another’s everything.

He spoke, unable to stop himself from asking, wanting to know more even if it hurt. “What’s he like? Do you have any photos?”

She reached into her purse digging for a moment finding her pocketbook and opening it to reveal a small photo nestled in a sleeve.

Jimmy stared down at the open pocketbook, the emotions washing over him complicated.

The child in the photo seemed happy. His hair was dark and a bit messy, his mother having failed to ever tame it, and he had his mother’s eyes. The boy was sitting in a sandbox proudly holding up a plastic red t-rex presenting to his mother who had taken the photo.

Y/N spoke as Jimmy continued to stare at the photo. “His name is Daniel. He’s six. He actually reminds me of you to be honest…some of the things he says, his interests. He’s really into anatomy and science. He talks a lot, always has something to say.”

“Anatomy at six?” Jimmy dared to ask, staring up at her, his eyes widening in surprise at the statement.

She let out a small laugh nodding her head. “He hit his milestones early, like incredibly early. His pediatrician suggested I have him tested and…well my son is probably smarter than I am. His teachers want him to skip a grade or maybe even more than one grade, but I’m on the fence. He’s so small, delicate really. Kids are cruel, I just don’t want him to get hurt. That’s another thing that makes me think of you, his personality. He’s got that same tender heart I remember you having.”

Jimmy felt his throat grow tight, a voice in the back of his head sounding out he could have been Daniel’s father. He should have been his father. He wished he was his father.

He dared to work the words from his lips. “His dad and you must be proud.”

She felt her throat grow tight, tearing her eyes from Jimmy staring out the window for a brief moment before she spoke again. “His dad isn’t in our lives. It’s been just me and him since I got the positive pregnancy test.”

She paused, daring to look back at Jimmy. “It was kind of a disaster of a relationship from the start. He was enlisted. I’d just moved back to the states and I was vulnerable. I was alone. He seemed like a dream come true. He was really protective. He seemed noble. He had a wandering eye though. He kind of sucked at monogamy. When I found out about Daniel he wasn’t interested. He pays child support at least, but I’m pretty sure that’s just to appease his C.O. He’s only seen Daniel maybe twice, the last time Daniel was eight months old. It’s been just Daniel and me for a while. I don’t really feel comfortable dating, given Daniel, I’ve tried, I mean…I’ve dated here and there but it never gets far. The guys I seem to attract really aren’t the fathering types…it’s just easier to keep my focus on Daniel. I’ve settled into just focusing on him and forgetting love. Abby seems a little determined to set me up on dates, but I keep having to shoot her down. She’s a great neighbor but she’s convinced I need someone.”

She tore her eyes from Jimmy, the both of them feeling that awkward tension hanging over them at the realization that Abby had most likely intended Jimmy to be that someone for Y/N.

Y/N dared to speak, asking the one thing she feared to know the answer to. “What about you? Anyone special in your life?”

Jimmy gave her a half smile that felt more like a grimace as he admitted it. “I just ended a…thing I had with someone. It wasn’t a relationship, not really. It was pretty much all physical despite my attempts to ask for more. I felt that I was being used. It had to end. I haven’t had much luck dating to be honest. It seems when I do manage to attract someone that they aren’t what I need.”

He paused, not saying the words that screamed to exit his throat. I've tried to date other girls but none of them are you. You were what I needed.

She felt the words leave her cringing at them the second they escaped her lips. “You deserve more than being used. You deserve someone to love.”

She bit the inside of her cheek wanting to finish the statement but stopping herself from doing so You deserve someone to love after the way I shattered your heart to pieces.

Jimmy sensed the words it seemed because he spoke knowing they had to address the elephant in the room. “We should talk about it…the last time we spoke, when everything fell apart.”

Y/N felt her heart ache remembering it just like it was yesterday, the pain still so fresh.

Twenty year old Jimmy Palmer hadn’t been expecting the sight that met his eyes when he opened his front door. He’d been expecting his girlfriend to be exhausted and maybe sporting a hint of paint after a day spent working on one of her projects and the studio on campus.

He hadn’t been expecting the tears.

He embraced her, the tears falling. She clearly had been sobbing for a long while now.

She yanked from his embrace, not allowing him to provide the comfort he’d always given her. If she allowed him to comfort her she would lose her will to do this. It had to be done. She had no choice.

He spoke unable to hide the worry from his voice. “Talk to me Y/N, what’s wrong baby.”

She sat on his sofa wrapping her arms around her waist as though she was trying to hold herself and provide herself the comfort that she couldn’t accept from Jimmy.

He sat down beside her wanting to reach out for her again, but he had a feeling she’d pull from his touch again.

She felt the words leave her her voice raspy from crying. “My mother called.”

Jimmy felt his blood run cold at the statement.

Something that had bonded Jimmy and Y/N together had been the more traumatic aspects of their childhooods.

Much like Jimmy, Y/N’s family had come from money and much like Jimmy her homelife had been chaotic and filled with pain.

Her father was a statesman of some sort with some cushy upper position with the U.S. government. He rubbed elbows with those who kept the country running both within the United States and in foriegn nations.  His job sounded complicated and intense from what Y/N had told Jimmy.

She’d been raised traveling quite a bit for her father’s career much of the time overseas. Much like Jimmy her childhood had been lonely. She’d never fit in with her peers.

Jimmy’s father had died when he was ten and the painful aspect of his childhood had faded. Y/N hadn’t been so lucky.

Her mother was, well she was a real piece of work. Her father ignored it all and let her mother do what she willed.

Jimmy Palmer’s father had been physically and emotionally violent. Y/N’s mother kept her violence to the emotional level.

She was harsh and unforgiving. She was never happy with her daughter. She disapproved of Y/N’s tendency to drift towards a gothic style. She disapproved of Y/N’s interest in art. She made it well known that Y/N didn’t live up to her standards.

She was controlling to an extreme level. If her mother said jump Y/N jumped.

She had wanted to cut contact a million times but she had younger siblings and her mother would withhold those siblings from her if she ever dared to cut contact.

Y/N spoke her voice sounding so small. “I have to leave. My mother is demanding I travel to be with the family in Israel where my father is working currently. She said my father isn’t doing too well health wise. Cancer, it’s terminal,  and I have to leave school at once. He’s too sick to travel back to the states, so I have to go to him.”

Jimmy spoke easily, finding a solution. “Let me go with you. My grandmother would front the money for me to go with you for a visit. She loves you, she would let me go with you so you don’t have to face this alone.”

Y/N shook her head frantically, the words falling from her making Jimmy’s blood run cold. “It’s not a visit. I’m not coming back. My mother said that I’m not coming back, not anytime soon. I have to leave school, I have to withdraw from the program.”

Jimmy felt like he wanted to puke. This couldn’t be happening. “You’re leaving me?”

“I don’t have a choice.” She cried her heart aching knowing she was shattering his heart in the process.

“You always have a choice.” Jimmy insisted his eyes beginning to water. What did she mean she didn’t have a choice?

She let out a shaky sigh shaking her head. “Not this time, I don’t have a choice this time. If I tell her no, she said my father will die all alone. He’s asking for me, Jimmy. He’s only got a year at the most. He’s asking for me. If I tell her no she will keep him from me. She won’t let me see him or my siblings ever again. I don’t have a choice.”

Jimmy spoke wanting to fix this. There had to be a way to fix this. “I can call my mom, she’ll know what to do. She can’t just keep your father from you. Let me go with you at least, please.”

“You can’t go with me. I don’t know when or if I’ll come back. I can’t make you follow me Jimmy. You have a life here. We have to break up.” She replied, shaking her head everything in her screaming to let him do this, let him come with her.

A voice told her it would be selfish to let him go with her though. She couldn’t ask him to leave his life and his education for her.

Jimmy wiped his eyes frantically refusing to believe that this could be the end of them. “There has to be a way. There has to be some way. I can’t lose you, we’re supposed to be in love forever…We could do long distance.”

“I don’t have a choice. We can’t do long distance, I can’t ask that of you, not when I don’t even have a timeline of if or when I can see you again. I love you, but there is no other way. I have to let you go, I have to ask you to let me go too.” She cried, shaking her head refusing to meet his glance.

They sat in silence both crying neither sure what to say to make the pain any less prominent.

Y/N spoke the words spilling from her. “I’m sorry, Oh, God I’m so sorry. Please hate me, I hate me for this.”

She paused sniffling, taking the ring he’d slipped on her finger the year before off as the words left her. “This isn’t what I wanted to happen.”

Jimmy felt the words leave him as he reached out daring to touch her, stopping her from removing the ring. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. Please keep the ring.”

She shook her head, her voice cracking from emotion. “I can’t, Jimmy, I can’t keep it.”

Jimmy spoke, needing to say the words. “Please keep it, for me, keep the ring. I gave it to you because I’ll love you forever, that hasn’t changed. My heart is breaking right now, but I can’t stop loving you.”

He paused the optimist in him eternal no matter what life brought him. “Do you believe in fate Y/N?”

She furrowed her brow unsure of how to reply but Jimmy didn’t give her a chance he fast to speak again. “I do, I believe in fate and hope. I believe that I’m going to love you forever. I believe that fate says that this isn’t over. I can’t believe that this is over when I said I’d love you forever. I believe that fate will bring us together again, one day. I have to believe fate will bring us together again. So, keep the ring. Please, even if I’m wrong about fate and hope, I have to know that you’re out there somewhere and you still have the ring.”

She fell apart at these words sobbing but keeping the ring on her finger.

Jimmy took her in his arms as they both fell apart realizing that the world was far too cruel for two young people who had nothing but being in love on their side.

Jimmy held her for hours and resisted the urge to beg her to change her mind. He held her until she forced herself to pull from him no words leaving them as she walked out of his life for what he had assumed would be forever.

Y/N felt forced herself to pull her mind from the memory, the words leaving her she had held them in for so long. She felt her eyes water as she forced herself to speak. “I realized it was a mistake the second I left your apartment. I was so afraid to turn back and admit that it was a mistake. I was so afraid of my mother. I didn’t have the balls to cut her off then. I finally did it though…I finally cut her off but it was too late. I thought I had no choice back then, but there was always a choice. We always have a choice. I almost called you when I got to Israel. I almost called you a million times. I wanted nothing more than to call you and beg you to come get me and take me back home with you or to stay with me like you offered.”

Jimmy felt his heart crack at the statement, tears leaving his eyes as well. “Why didn’t you? I would have come for you, no matter how much time had passed I would have gone anywhere to be with you.”

She shook her head forcing herself to admit the truth. “I knew you would. That was the thing I loved about you. You were always so kind and so willing to do anything for me. I thought I would be selfish to ask you to walk away from your life and your dreams to come for me. I told myself that if you loved someone you let them go.”

She paused her voice tight. “I told myself you hated me, I let myself believe you probably hated me. That was how I let myself believe that I was doing the right thing. I told myself that you should hate me. I told myself that I was awful to break the heart of someone so kind and perfect. I told myself you’d probably moved on, met someone who deserved you and wouldn’t run away from you even after you offered to go with them.”

“You were scared Y/N, you ran because you were scared. We were so young. I could never hate you. I could never even dream of finding it in my heart to hate you.” He insisted, daring to reach out placing his hand over hers.

Y/N felt her heart ache at the statement. He really hadn’t changed. He was still far too kind and forgiving.

He spoke again needing to say the words. “As far as me moving on, well that’s not possible. I tried, I tried so hard to move on. No matter who I try to love though, it’s impossible. I can’t love anyone the way I love you. How can I give my heart to someone when it’s still yours.”

She shook her head the words falling from her. “I prayed you’d moved on. I felt like I ruined you. I took someone so sweet and so kind and so willing to love me and I left them and refused their love.”

She forced the words from her lips knowing she had to be as honest with him as he had been with her. She owed him that much. “I tried so hard to move on…I think it was obvious that my heart just wasn’t in it. I always compared the guys I dated to you. I think they knew it too. They could tell I was in love with a man I walked away from. You never forget your first love.”

Jimmy took a deep breath, unable to deny what his heart was screaming at him. He had to take a chance or risk her walking away tonight and never seeing him again. This wasn’t about closure, he didn’t want closure.

“Do you believe in fate?” He blurted the words out her eyes widening.

She shook her head frantically, the words leaving her. “Jimmy we can’t. I hurt you so much last time…”

Jimmy spoke, interrupting her. “And I forgave you.”

She spoke again, still shaking her head. “I’ve changed so much Jimmy. I’m not the same girl you fell in love with back when we were kids.”

“I can fall in love with the girl you are now. I want to fall in love with the girl you are now. I’ve changed too. I want you to fall in love with the man I am now.” He insisted knowing that he couldn’t let her go again. He’d made the mistake of letting her go ten years ago and he refused to make that mistake again.

He cleared his throat as he spoke again doing all he could to convince her. “It’s fate Y/N, how else do you explain how you got a job offer and came back to this same city after all these years and just so happened to move in next door to my coworker. How else can you explain why my coworker decided to try to set us up not knowing a thing about our history together. I said I believed that fate would find a way to bring us back together, that it wasn’t over. What else but fate could explain any of this?”

She felt her heart ache wanting so badly to give in. She wanted to give in to everything her heart was screaming it wanted.

She knew it wasn’t that simple though.

She spoke again needing to be realistic. “Even if it’s fate, I have a child, Jimmy. What if we try this again, what if things are okay for a while, but then one day they aren't. What if it all falls apart again and life tears us apart again? I can’t let you become a part of my life and have it fall apart again. It’s not just me anymore, Jimmy. What if I let you be a part of Daniel’s and my life and then we don’t see each other again for another decade. It’s not just our hearts we’ll be breaking.”

Jimmy was surprised by how sure he was of his answer. “I know it isn’t just us. I still love you Y/N, I never stopped. He’s a piece of you so how could I not fall in love with him too? If I became part of your lives I wouldn’t let anything rip us from each other, not again. I will always be there for him if he lets me….I know, I know I’ll have to get to know him, show him I’m a good guy that he can trust. I want to be there for both of you though. I can’t lose you again. There won’t be another decade where we won’t see each other. I said I’d love you forever and I meant it. I want forever. Please let me have forever, no fear, no running away, no letting anyone tell us that we can’t have forever.”

She knew there was only one way to answer him. She reached towards her neck with free hand pulling at the other chain hanging from her neck that had been hidden by her dress.

Jimmy widened his eyes tears falling for a different reason as she pulled the chain forward letting it rest over her dress revealing something familiar hanging from it.

“The ring, you kept the ring.” He blurted out his voice breaking with emotion.

She felt the words leave her nodding her head. “I’ve always worn it, I started wearing it on a chain, told myself that it was the best way to keep you close or at least the memory of you.”

She paused a small laugh leaving her. “In hindsight that’s probably why the guys I’ve dated got that I was still in love with my ex.”

Jimmy felt the laugh leave him not helping but to feel somewhat smug that her potential romantic partners had to see a sign of his love hanging from her neck.

She took a deep breath saying the words, her heart screaming that this was what it needed. “I want forever, no running away, no fear, no letting anyone tell us we can’t have forever.”

Jimmy moved quickly getting up from the booth, his hand reluctantly leaving hers.

The lack of touch didn’t last as he sat down in the booth beside her, his lips pressing to hers without any hesitation.

He pressed his hands to her cheek, she wrapping her arms around him as the kiss deepened. It almost felt as though they were the only two people in the entire world. Nothing mattered but this kiss and the fact that they were together once again.

They finally pulled from one another after a long while her forehead remained pressed to his their hearts both feeling so full for the first time since they’d parted ways so long ago.

She felt the words leave her so sure of them. “I believe in fate.”

He felt the smile cross his lips at the words. It was fate. It had to be fate.

Fate told him they were going to be forever, and he wasn’t going to deny fate.

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