#did mo just stay still while he knew tian was giving it to him what was going through his head?!

[3lji]

THE CHAPTER IS CALLED IMPRINT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

#STOPPPPP #like also hickeys don’t just appear he tian had to work for it 😂 #did mo just stay still while he knew tian was giving it to him what was going through his head?! #WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS

[zhanyes]

Tianshan dating headcannons because i also love these two dumbasses too

Also dedicated to @el-mundo-real who requested tianshan headcannons 🖤

. . .

- Literally no one knows whether they’re dating or not. Not even themselves because they don’t talk about it

- Jian yi thinks they’re dating already and Zhengxi says they’re still getting there (somehow they’re both right) and they make a bet

- He tian likes staying over at Mo’s and he’s gotten pretty close to mama Mo

- Mama Mo teaches him how to knit !! He tried to knit a scarf for Mo but it came out a little messy and tangled. Mo still wears it anyway saying it’s a waste of yarn if not used (He’s actually really touched)

- He eats dinner there about 5 times a week and sleeps over thrice a week. He’s a permanent fixture in the house now, he has his own plate and mug, utensils, toothbrush, a spare key, and more than half of his closet migrated to Mo’s closet

- Sometimes Mo “accidentally” wears He tian’s sweaters and He tian dies a little bit every time

- Sometimes He tian deliberately wears Mo’s clothes and it’s always tighter and a bit shorter on his body so when he moves his arms the shirt rides up. Mo guanshan shouts at him to change and to stop contaminating his clothes but his ears are red anyway

- They bicker A LOT. Over the smallest things because He tian loves riling him up and Mo gets riled up too easily

He tian, for the 7th time in 5 minutes: “What does this thing do?”

Mo guanshan, losing his mind: “THAT’S A FUCKING MICROWAVE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT DO?!”

- There are times when homicide is the best option

Mo Guanshan: “I acknowledge that I can be mean sometimes-”

He tian, in the bathtub: “Sometimes?”

Mo Guanshan: “Shut the fuck up. So I brought you a bath bomb as a peace offering.”

He tian: “That’s a fucking toaster.”

Mo guanshan: “Exactly. A bath bomb.”

- Contrary to what his actions say, Mo guanshan is actually relieved that He tian spends most of his time in their apartment. He tian never told him but he can see how lonely the other teenager is

- Mo guanshan tries to teach He tian chores because He tian knows nothing about cleaning or doing everyday things

Mo guanshan: “How the fuck do you not know how to wash dishes where the hell do you eat?!”

He tian, drinking milk straight out the carton: “Obviously on plates, Momo. I just throw them away after.”

Mo guanshan, sputtering: “WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THROW OUT PLATES?!”

- The first and only recipe that He tian managed to cook successfully is instant noodles with boiled egg that’s not quite cooked enough. Sometimes he brings Mo noodles as breakfast in bed and he looks so proud of it Mo has a hard time saying that the noodles are overcooked and that noodles aren’t exactly breakfast food (he eats it anyway)

- Mo sometimes, only sometimes, brings He tian grocery shopping because he needs to learn how to buy food for himself. Somehow He tian always ends up in the miscellaneous section where he has a pack of ballpens he’ll never use, 2 journals he’ll also never use, a couple of scented candles, various dog clothes and leashes for the dog he doesn’t have, a couple’s mug, and a vase in his cart

- He tian stopped trying to barge into Mo guanshan’s bed and sleeps on the futon on the floor beside it. It’s not the most comfortable and he had a hard time sleeping on it at first but he likes being in Mo’s company even while sleeping

- Sometimes Mo would move in his sleep and leave his arm dangling on the side of the bed, He tian grabs it of course and Mo wakes up to sweaty palms. He still leaves it for a few moments before harshly slapping away He tian’s hand

- Mo’s hands aren’t smooth at all because of working all the time and practicing the guitar but He tian loves them all the same. He likes to feel the contrast in textures with his slightly smoother hands

- He tian has a thousand pictures of Mo guanshan sleeping in various angles and poses. He has his favorites framed and keeps it on his bedside table in his apartment so when he’s sleeping there he still feels like they’re sleeping together

- Mo guanshan has a few of He tian sleeping but he swears up and down that he'll never do anything as disgusting as that. He makes one of them his wallpaper.

- Sometimes when they don’t feel like sleeping yet they stay up talking and arguing about random things

Mo guanshan: “Why would aliens be in space? The ocean is definitely the way to go.”

He tian: “But why would they be in the ocean? They’ll drown.”

Mo guanshan: “They’re aliens maybe they have gills or some shit.”

He tian: “I’m telling you they’re not in the ocean, Mo.”

Mo guanshan: “And I’m telling you you’re wrong, bastard.”

- On rare days they would stay up talking about their pasts and about life in general, with the lights closed and the only source of light is the moonlights from the window

- One of these nights, Mo told He tian about what happened to his dad and their restaurant, why they’re in so much debt over it and He tian holds Mo’s hand tightly throughout

- He knew better than to say that he could pay for that debt so Mo doesn’t need to worry anymore (He still says it anyway and Mo blew a fuse) but he swore to help Mo through other means

- The next day he orders a whole carton of mangoes, apples and peaches in his apartment and learns how to peel properly through youtube and Zhengxi

- He goes to Mo’s part time job in the grocery and helps him peel fruits, Mo guanshan doesn’t mention anything when he notices the bandaids on the other’s hands but he does cook him beef stew for dinner

- As expected He tian’s presence brings more customers and the manager asks if he wants to work there permanently but he said he’s only working for Mo so the manager can give Mo a raise instead

- Once, Mo got sick so he missed his part time job for the day (He was supposed to give away flyers on the streets) and got extra pissy because He tian didn’t visit him and wouldn’t answer his phone 

- Apparently He tian took over his job for the day and he only finds out when he goes to the manager and the manager asks when his ‘boyfriend’ can come back to work again because the customers love him

- He tian almost never talks about himself but once he talked about the puppy who disappeared after he saves it and then found out that it’s still alive after all these years

- Mo keeps quiet about it the whole time he was talking and the next few days he takes time to knit a small dog plushie and leaves it on He tian’s futon

- He tian didn’t cry, he didn’t (he did), but he hugged Mo and whispered a sincere thank you. For once, Mo lets it happen

- Mo quickly regrets his decision when He tian names the plushie “Chicken sandwich”

- He tian brings Mo in a lot of not-dates (according to Mo) like arcades, ocean parks, festivals, and fairs because he didn’t get to go as a kid and he wants to experience it for the first time with Mo

- They get crazy competitive in every game. Every. Single. One. If it’s a co-op shooting game they would compete on who kills the most enemies, if it’s a harmless crane game it becomes a competition of who can get the most plushies

- They both each have a photobooth strip. Mo keeps his as a bookmarker in a journal, and He tian has his in the back of his phone.

- They go on a double not-date with Jian yi and Zhengxi and it ends up in almost getting chased by a police car at 2 am in pokemon onesies and holding a bag of chips 

- Sometimes Mo would visit his dad in prison and just rant to him about He tian

Mo guanshan: “The nerve of that guy to do something like that in front of a teacher urgh.”

Papa Mo: “Your boyfriend sounds like a fun guy, son. I want to meet him soon.”

Mo guanshan: “BO-BOYFRIEND?!”

Papa Mo: “Yes???”

Mo guanshan: “No??? That bastard isn’t my boyfriend??”

Papa Mo: “Are you sure about that?”

Mo guanshan: “...Yes?”

- Enter gay panique because he doesn’t actually know whether He tian is his boyfriend or not

- They don’t call each other boyfriends and they never talked about it so no??? But they’re also not just friends so maybe??? Do they go on dates?? Can grocery trips be considered dates??

- He rings up Jian yi and the blonde just laughed for 5 minutes straight without stopping and he wonders how he’s still breathing

Mo Guanshan, after hearing Jian yi laughing for 5 minutes: “Are you fucking done?”

Jian yi, trying to catch his breath: “Man this is some top-tier entertainment.”

Mo guanshan: “WELL?!”

Jian yi: “Look bro literally no one knows whether you’re dating, fucking, planning each other’s murder OR planning a murder together.”

Mo guanshan: “What if it’s all of the above?”

Jian yi: “Then congratulations…? Please don’t murder me?”

Mo guanshan: “Urgh you’re fucking useless I should have called Zhengxi.”

Jian yi: “Wait don’t, I don’t wanna lose the bet. How about this, there’s a festival upcoming for couples and families, if He tian asks you then you’re probably, maybe, dating?”

Mo guanshan: “That’s stupid. AND WHAT BET?!”

Jian yi: “Ah woops gotta water my dog.”

- Mo tells himself that it’s stupid and there’s no way he’s falling for that...but he feels disappointed anyway when He tian doesn’t ask him the following days

- He tian asks on the last day before the festival, but he asks mama Mo first and Mo guanshan second cuz he wants to celebrate with both of them. He confessed that he’s never actually went to a festival with a family before so he was trying to build up courage to ask

- Mo guanshan is an absolute goner after that

- On the day of the festival, they find Zhanyi there on a date but decide to leave them alone. While they were leaving Jian yi kept throwing Mo guanshan so much winks that Zhengxi thought he got something in his eye

- The festival was fun but Mo couldn’t take his eyes off how happy and content He tian looks

- Queue cliche fireworks scene but it’s He tian being amazed by the fireworks and Mo looking mesmerized at him thinking, “Ah, I want him to look at me like that.”

- The next day, he drags He tian to visit his dad in jail

Papa mo: “Oh this is a surprise, you’ve never brought someone before?”

He tian, trying to introduce himself: “Hello, sir. I’m He tian, Mo guanshan’s fri-”

Mo guanshan, cuts him off: “Boyfriend. He’s my boyfriend, dad.”

He tian:

#19 days #19 days headcannons #19 days hc #tianshan #mo guan shan #he tian #zhanyi #jian yi #zhan zheng xi #am i procrastinating updating my fics and 19 days socmed au by posting random 19 days stuff? #yes yes i am #old xian

[rigonelli]

Can you write about tianshan's second kiss with Guan Shan initiating it first please? 🙏🙏🙏 Thank you in advance!

Who the fuck!?

He Tianglanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand, pressing a cushion against hisears to drown out the incessant ringing of the doorbell. To no avail. It wastwo thirty in the morning and someone was keen on having their asses handed tothemselves. So who was He Tian to deny them the pleasure.

He got up,leaving the comfortable warmth of the bed behind, and went to open the door. Ittook a while until the elevator doors exposed the culprit disturbing his sleep.

Ironically,it was the same person who managed to disturb his sleep most nights, withoutactually being present to do so.

“Oh,” saidHe Tian. The anger was gone as soon as he saw Mo Guan Shan’s face. He couldn’thelp it. “It’s just a dream. Good, I would have been seriously mad if you hadwoken me up in the middle of the night.”

“I couldn’tsleep,” Mo Guan Shan explained. He seemed to be out of breath. “And I… well, Iwanted to give you something.”

“So youthought you’d give it to me at two thirty in the morning instead of, say,tomorrow at school?”

He Tianstepped away from the door to let Guan Shan in.

“You alwayswant me to spend the night here, so I didn’t think you’d protest,” said GuanShan, slipping out of his shoes and neatly putting them beside the door. “Damn,it’s cold in here. Are you too cheap to turn on the radiator?”

“I prefer acold room for sleeping,” He Tian shrugged and went back to his bed. “Anyway, Ican assure you, it’s very warm in here.”

Mo GuanShan took a few tentative steps towards him, then seemed to get shy.

“You knowwhat, it was a stupid idea. I’ll let you sleep in peace.”

“Don’t youdare!” He Tian lifted his blanket, inviting Guan Shan into the bed. “You justsaid you wanted to sleep here.”

“I wasthinking… like on the sofa.”

“Why wouldI let my guests sleep on the sofa if I have this huge, comfortable bed righthere?”

“Not aguest,” Guan Shan said, but he was finally coming over. “Unannounced visitor.”

“Do we haveto argue semantics all night or will you get in before it gets cold again?”

“Fine…”Guan Shan plopped down onto the edge of the bed and sat there stiffly until HeTian gave up with a sigh and sat next to him, draping the blanket over both oftheir shoulders.

“So what isit that you need to give me, which is so important that it has you losing sleepover it?” He Tian grinned, nudging a little closer, carefully. Mo Guan Shanseemed flustered; it wouldn’t do to spook him. Not after everything had went sowell between them the last few weeks. Even though Guan Shan had an excuse forevery lack of protest against He Tian’s advances, people had started to notice.He had seen Jian Yi and Zheng Xi looking at them with their eyebrows raisedhigh more than once.

Guan Shanfidgeted with something in his hands. He Tian couldn’t make out what it was,since it was hidden under the blanket, but it had to be the mysterious gift.

“I just… Iwanted to give you something in return. For those earrings you gave me a fewmonths ago.”

He Tianopened his mouth, not sure what he was about to say.

“You didn’thave to…”

“I know!But I wanted to. I don’t want you to think you’re some kind of…”

He wentsilent again. Even in the spare light, He Tian could see him blushing.

“Some kindof what?”

“Nevermind.It was stupid. The gift is stupid. I’ll go and exchange it tomorrow. Sorryfor-“

“You’re theonly one who’s stupid here,” said He Tian. “Show me what you have!”

And then,in a rare moment of humbleness, “Please.”

Mo GuanShan looked at him, still red in the face, but he took a deep breath and,hidden from their eyes, under the blanket, pushed a little box into his hands.

“Don’t takethis the wrong way!” he mumbled. “I just… I wanted to give you something equaland since you don’t have your ears pierced and I couldn’t think of any othermasculine jewelry…”

But He Tianwasn’t listening anymore. He was staring down at the small box in his hands,which looked just the way the earrings box had looked. And once he opened it,he suddenly felt dizzy, like he had to hold on to something or he would fallfrom the bed, hit his head and wake up to find it had been a dream after all.

“This is…”

“I know!Don’t you dare make the same joke again – look, I had it put into a lace so youcan wear it around your neck.”

He Tiancouldn’t tear his eyes from the ring, embedded in a velvet cushion inside thebox. He didn’t know what to say. How to react. This was something that hadn’thappened in his wildest dreams. And a lot had happened there.

“Say… saysomething?” Guan Shan stuttered, eyes wide.

He seemedto be closer when He Tian looked up to him. His eyes looked big and dark, onlyilluminated by the few remaining city lights in the distant. It was hard tolook at him and not kiss him. It had always been hard, but right now, it wasthe worst. He Tian didn’t know how much longer he could take it, especially nowthat Guan Shan had stopped thrashing and screaming at every simple touch. Itwas dangerous. Tempting. He Tian would somehow ruin it all, he knew that. Hewould go too far again and fuck it all up, like he almost had the last time hekissed Mo.

“He Tian,”Guan Shan said, hesitating before he spoke again. “When you look at me likethat. What… what does it mean?”

He Tiandrew a stuttering breath, knowing that he couldn’t lie right now. Not that hehad a moral compass that kept him from it – he just couldn’t sit on the bed,under the same warm blanket as Guan Shan, holding the ring he just gave him –and lie in his face. Not in this weird, time-less void that was two thirty inthe morning, where everything felt magical and a little unreal. No matter howmuch the words would ruin.

“You don’twant to know.”

“I haveto know. Please.”

A humorlesschuckle left He Tian’s mouth and he shook his head. “It means,” he said,steeling himself, “that I can’t believe you don’t even know. You waltz in herewith a ring in your hand and you don’t even know! Are you blind? Or justcompletely stupid? You should have run away a long time ago, before you couldleave me in pieces. I don’t even know who I am anymore if I can’t be close toyou. You’re what makes me human. You’re what makes me live. And when Ilook at you like this, it means that I have to remind myself of all thesethings just so I won’t give up and kiss you, because that’s all I want to do,like every minute of my life lately.”

He Tianrealized that he had spoken to the ring – he wasn’t strong enough to look GuanShan in the eyes. He couldn’t see that disgust again.

“So please.Please take this ring and go. Go home, go to bed and when you wake up in themorning, tell yourself this has all just been a dream. We can go on likebefore, I promise. We can both ignore that you know now. Maybe it’s for thebetter anyway.”

A handappeared in his field of vision, fingers wrapping around the ring inside thebox. Seeing this finally made He Tian realize the horror of it all and heturned to look at Guan Shan.

“It’s fine,”Guan Shan said. He looked… calm. Not as shaken as He Tian would have guessed. “Idid know, I guess. I just needed to be sure.”

His hands wrappedthe lace with the ring on it around He Tian’s neck, closing the clasp. He didn’tlet go. He Tian’s heart hammered in his chest, but Guan Shan was merciless. Hishands stayed where they were, cradling He Tian’s head. A thumb brushed throughthe short hairs on his nape.

“You knowwhy I couldn’t wait to give this to you at school tomorrow?”

“No?” HeTian whispered, voice too rough to speak.

“I couldn’twait a minute longer to kiss you either.”

Then, GuanShan finally closed the distance between them, too quick for He Tian to reallygrasp what was happening. One moment, he was sure Guan Shan would take the ringfrom him, leave the apartment and never speak to him again. The next, Guan Shan’slips – warm, soft lips – were on his and He Tian was ruining it, albeitin a completely different way than he had thought.

He didn’tknow what had come over him. He could feel hot tears on his cheeks, oversaltingtheir kiss, his hands were still clutching the ring box instead of doingsomething useful, something sexy. He had imagined this kiss so many times, butit had always been so passionate and suave. Like it would release something,like he would just explode and snog Guan Shan into oblivion.

Instead, theirkiss was soft, tentative, a little awkward even.

For thefirst time in years

He Tian

felt likeexactly what he was.

   Just a boy.

  (later

 whispered: “Hey!”

Mo Guan Shanturned, squinting at the bright red 3:30 on the alarm clock.

“What?” he groaned.

“Does thatmean you actually do want to marry me?”

Guan Shangroaned again. “We’re 15. We live in China. It’s three thirty in the morning.”

“I didn’thear a no.”

Guan Shandefinitely heard the grin that followed.

“I’ll marryyou once you become a respectable man.”

“Ouch, thatstung.”

“You cantake it. After all, this is the luckiest day of your life.”

“Wow,little Mo, your ego sure inflated over the last hour.”

“I just hadto listen to you mumble that sentence in your half-sleep over and over again.”

“Seriously?”He Tian chuckled, honestly amused by himself. “I’m such a romantic. Maybe thisis the luckiest day in your life.”

“Would be,if you could just shut up and go to sleep.”

“Okay, sure– after all, I wouldn’t want to ruin the luckiest day of your life, right?”

“Right. Nowshhh!”

“Okay. Goodnight. Babe.”

“We’ll talkabout that in the morning.”

“Honey.”

“In themorning!”

“Good nightmy love.”

“… Goodnight.”

 )

#19 days #old xian #tianshan #mo guan shan #he tian #he tian x mo guan shan #tianshan fic #fanfiction #my fics #Anonymous

[dreamingsushi]

Eternal Love - Episode 6

So I must say... I never recognized Lian Song in his war apparel. Wow. That was like a totally different person. Now that I’ve seen Eternal Love of Dream, it makes sense since he likes to create new weapons and stuff, but well, yeah, I guess the first time I watched the drama I only noticed Yao Guang. Who seems not so happy to see Si Yin. Well, they bow politely and then both Lian Song and Yao Guang leaves. The fact that they came worries both Si Yin and Ling Yu. They wonder if there are bringing bad news, but Mo Yuan says that Lian Song never got to experience war, so he came for that reason. Ling Yu is to go at the front line, while Si Yin will stay with Mo Yuan. I have to say here... Mo Yuan’s head piece for war is really... interesting? I wonder how come it doesn’t fall off his head. Okay yes, there is some sort of elastic band, but honestly, it doesn’t look extremely secured in my opinion.

Mo Yuan decides to teach Si Yin how to control the Donghuang bell. Well, seal it. Does he sense something? Si Yin looks so happy that he’s willing to teach it to her. He’d rather not teach her actually, but she’s the only one amongst her disciple with a high enough rank? status? cultivation potential? I don’t know how to translate it well, but basically, the others wouldn’t be able to use this method even if they knew how it worked. Si Yin is wondering then if he didn’t realized her real identity.

Time for the battle came. The Yi even have some kind of weird creatures in the back. But Mo Yuan is like, yeah like  I care, I am going to invoque some lightning, split the water in two and freeze it. So the Yi rush through the river. And I am wondering, why didn’t Mo Yuan just put back the back in it’s place? It worked well for Moses.  Then huge disgusting creatures comes from beneath and kills the masses, and Mo Yuan’s tactical plan gets destroyed.

Yanzhi tries to stop Li Jing from jumping in the battle, but he rushes in anyways, even though he knows they will lose for sure. Oh boy I love fighting scenes. Bad ass Ling Yu and bad ass Die Feng. Li Yuan comes for a fight with Ling Yu. I am so stressed TT I love how they always spit blood. Then it gets bad for Ling Yu and Si Yin jumps in to save him. Ling Yu is like don’t come and Si Yin doesn’t make it on time to save him. Si Yin is crying over Ling Yu’s near coming death and then Li Yuan is about to strike her, but Li Jing stops him. He says since his wifey was useful, doesn’t he have the right to protect someone? So Xuannü stole the plans for the tactical, that’s why they can win. But even so, protecting the enemy is out of question. Si Yin is like, Li Jing you made Xuannü steal my stuff? But they don’t have the time to explain, someone, I am not sure... since it’s a phenix, is it Zhe Yan? But that person looked more like Bai Zhen. I would recognize Yu Menglong’s face anywhere, such a cutie. Well that person takes them away. Yep, it’s Bai Zhen. I knew it was him.

Si Yin is devastated by Ling Yu’s death and she begs Mo Yuan to save him. But he only tells her to get Die Feng so they send Ling Yu’s corpse to Kunlunxu. I the book, he doesn’t die by the way, actually the novel doesn’t spend that much time on when Bai Qian was still a disciple at Kunlunxu. Si Yin is sad to no limits and blames herself for the death of Ling Yu. She tells Mo Yuan that Xuannü stole the plans. So they realize they are sure to lose. And then so many officers come to report bad news. Mo Yuan asks Bai Zhen to take Si Yin away. Well he probably knows she’s Bai Qian and if he wasn’t sure, the fact that Bai Zhen, fourth son of the Qingqiu king came to save Si Yin when they are not implied in that war... well it says a whole lot. I love Bai Zhen’s outfit though **

Bai Qian seeks comfort in her brother, she blames herself, saying that if she didn’t keep Xuannü in Kunlunxu, if she didn’t met Li Jing, Ling Yu wouldn’t have died. Bai Zhen says he’s the one who sent Xuannü to her, so he’s to blame too then. She also says that if it weren’t for her sister in law, wife of her big brother, she would have killed Xuannü way before and Bai Zhen says she’s no Qingqiu people anymore since she chose the Yi and next time Bai Qian bumps into her, she should kill her without mercy. She deserves it.

The three princes of the Tian want to participate actively in the war, but Mo Yuan says it falls to his responsibility to fight it and he has sixteen disciples to lead the armies with him. Then he says he need 10, 000 people to sacrifice themselves. Sangji asks Mo Yuan to rethink about this, but Mo Yuan says it’s the only for the rest of them all to survive, otherwise more people are going to die. The leader of Sujin clan offers his men to do it. Than Yao Guang says that if they use an unknown general, Qing Cang is going to guess it’s a decoy. Apart from Mo Yuan, the only other person would be her. So she volunteers to lead the 10,000 soldiers. He reminds her that doing so she’ll die for sure, but she says she knows and she’ll do it.

Bai Zhen will lead Ling Yu’s troop at the front line and Si Yin Yao Guang’s troop at the back. At first Mo Yuan doesn’t really want to let Si Yin do it, his baby disciple. But since Bai Zhen offers himself... I guess he does to keep an eye on his little baby sister. Because Qingqiu isn’t part of the conflict.

Fighting choreographies are just so beautiful in a way. I can only admire the hard work of the actors for that. Well they manage to defeat the army and Mo Yuan says that if they retreat, they still have a chance to live. But Qingcang isn’t willing to give up, as long as he’s king, the war won’t stop. He takes out the the Donghuang bell. Si Yin jumps in, trying to do I don’t know what... Bai Zhen is like noooo! Mo Yuan goes after her, fortunately because she’s definitely no match for Qing Cang. He sends her back to Bai Zhen and rushes to stop the Donghuang bell. He ends up having a fight with Qing Cang. This aerial fighting scene is just too beautiful. However, there’s one moment, I could clearly see it wasn’t Chao Yuting, but a double, even though they did a very good job overall, never including any face shots and everything. I wish he could do those stunts himself though. That would be awesome. The only problem is Mo Yuan’s headpiece. It looks so terrible that it makes it a little too... oh well.  I can’t take it as seriously as I should. Mo Yuan pushes Qing Cang in the bell and then flies towards. Then he tells Si Yin to wait for him before getting in the bell too and sealing it. Only his corpse comes back. Si Yin catches it.

The Yi comes to say they won’t fight anymore, as they don’t want to be the Tian’s enemies. Sassy Bai Qian is up hehehe! She turns looking at Li Yuan with those killer eyes. She decides to attack everybody, they should all die too. Yanzhi begs Si Yin. Si Yin is restrained back by her older disciples. Bai Zhen is just standing there being pretty, until he knocks her out. Bai Zhen is such a bad ass and takes her back to Kunlunxu.

Siming tells Donghua that Mo Yuan died while sealing the Donghuang bell. Donghua is shooooook. And dismisses Siming before calling him back to send him go to Ziming palace as soon as possible. They can’t delay.

Li Jing is drinking his problems away. When Xuannü comes next to him, he slaps her away. He doesn’t care she did that for him, that war had nothing to do with him. She says he’s her only support now and he tells her she’s relying on the wrong person. As Li Yuan will probably ascend as the king now, he’s most likely to die very soon. Li Yuan never hid the fact that he would rather have Li Jing dead.

Siming comes to help Li Jing take over Li Yuan as king of the Yi. Li Jing refuses at first, he’s not interested, but then Siming tells him in that case he’s most likely to die. Plus he has to avenge for his mother’s death.

The lotus flower dies. Si Yin asks Zheyan when will Mo Yuan wake up?

#eternal love #three lives three worlds #three miles of peach blossom #san sheng san shi shi li taohua #yang mi #bai qian #si yin #ah yin #mark chao #chao yuting #mo yuan #yu menglong #alan yu #bai zhen #vin zhang #zhang binbin #li jing #ken chang #zheyan #zhang zhixiao #vengo gao #gao weiguang #donghua #wang xiao #siming #li xinyi #yao guang #li dongheng #lian song #wang ruolun

[littlemomountain]

TianShan, At the Gym

Where He Tian works at a local gym, and wants to be a special someone’s personal trainer. The characters are older than in the original story by Old Xian.

———————————————

He Tian worked at the local gym located not five minutes away from his apartment complex. He worked part-time as a personal fitness instructor in an effort to keep himself from growing bored; he knew full well he didn’t have to work a day in his life.

At the gym he had his regulars, the ones that requested to get their six-packs asap, to bulk up their body weight with most of the weight being muscle, but very few of them could keep up with the rigorous work-outs set up by him. That wasn’t his problem. “If you’re asking to get that type of body in a short period of time, you’re going to have to work for it,” he would state matter-of-factly. He was right, of course, but the members didn’t want to be told this, and many would refuse to come back altogether, feeling slighted by his blatant disregard for their inability to match his discipline.

That particular evening was not very crowded at all. It wasn’t a weekend, for one thing, and the weather was rather nasty: a frigid -10 degrees Celsius. So there he was, checking to make sure the machines were wiped down, that the dumbbells weren’t scattered in disarray, and that the few people that were there, five in total, were using the machines properly.

“Your shift is just about over, isn’t it? You can leave the rest to me.” He Tian turned around to see Zhan Zheng Xi speaking to him. Zhan Zheng Xi also worked there, and unlike He Tian, he was much more lenient when it came to creating workout routines. For that reason, he had a lot more clients. Zhan Zheng Xi ran his hand through his dark blond hair, and sighed.

“What’s eating you?” He Tian asked. It was rare to see Xi looking so nervous, the guy was always so level-headed.

“It’s nothing. Just a friend is stopping by. Says I’ve been too busy for him lately. He’s upset.” Zhan Zheng Xi stared at the door as he said this, watching for this person to come to him.

He Tian rolled his eyes. “Ah yes, you’re “friend.” You mean Jian Yi, don’t you? But wasn’t he here yesterday, and the day before?” He Tian was now leaning his body against the counter, and searched the streets for said person. This was another reason he chose to work here: He Tian got along well with both of them, and considered them his friends, of which he had few to speak of. Sure, he was surrounded by a plethora of fangirls at school, and even some guys who wanted to be seen with him, but these two were genuine, and that was not easy to come by.

“Yeah, but I’m working, so it’s hard to talk to him. Today though, he doesn’t expect many people to show.” Zhan Zheng Xi’s eyes perked up as he saw the familiar fair figure approaching the gym, bundled up in a gray parka with the hoodie lined in a faux fur trim over his head, speed walking to escape the cold. But he wasn’t alone. He seemed to be dragging someone along with him, who looked to be underdressed for the cold weather in his flimsy, mustard-colored jacket. The man wore a black-knit cap and had a permanent scowl on his face. His face was as red as a tomato.

“Who is that?” He Tian asked excitedly, leaning forward with his forearms now resting on the counter and craning his head as he tried to get a better view.

“Jian Yi texted me earlier, saying he made a new friend today.” As he told He Tian this, he began to walk towards the door to open it for them. “He’s being way too friendly,” Zhan Zheng Xi muttered under his breath.

“Zhan Zheng Xi~~ It’s so cold, I thought I was going to die!!!” Jian Yi nearly tackled the poor Xi, who stumbled a few steps back as he caught Yi in his embrace. Jian Yi didn’t consider the fact that Zhan Zheng Xi was only wearing a t-shirt at this point, so Zhan Zheng Xi was immediately chilled to the touch. Some people in the gym snickered at this interaction, but otherwise resumed their workout.

“That’s why I didn’t want you to come today,” Zhan Zheng Xi replied. When he saw Jian Yi’s hurt expression however, he quickly added, “You could have gotten sick.”

That did the trick. “Aww, you care so much about me!” Jian Yi hugged him again, and then remembered his new friend. “Oh yeah! Zhan Zheng Xi, meet Mo Guan Shan. He saved me today! I forgot my wallet at home today and I couldn’t pay for a snack at that old lady’s shop, you know, the one by the college? He works there and let me take it and he told me I can pay it back next time!”

“It’s not a big deal,” the young man replied. “I’m leaving. I don’t know why I let myself be dragged along by you. It’s too fucking cold. I’m not in the mood to work out.” As he said this, he made as if to leave, but He Tian’s voice rung clear behind him.

“Are you afraid to build up a sweat? You’re here now, so you might as well make the most of it, don’t you think?” He Tian came forward and stopped in front of Mo Guan Shan, leaning in close to him, who blushed and took a step back. “Too fucking close,” Mo muttered. His red hair, his glowing gaze, his cute frowning face, He Tian liked everything about him already.

“But He Tian, you’re shift is almost fin— ugh!” Before he could finish this statement, Zhan Zheng Xi was elbowed by He Tian in the stomach, who continued to smile down at Mo Guan Shan with his best customer-service smile. Jian Yi caught on more quickly, and led Zhan Zheng Xi away to leave the pair alone. “Zhan Zheng Xi, why don’t you train me for once?” He whined as he linked their arms together and walked them towards the farthest set of machines possible, leaving the pair alone.

“So, where were we?” He Tian started.

“I was in the middle of leaving,” Mo Guan Shan replied coolly, placing his hands inside his jacket and getting ready to brave the cold.

“Until I convinced you to stay,” came He Tian’s response. Mo turned to look at him with a scowl, and before he could reply, He Tian was raising his hands above his head in a mock gesture of surrender to Mo’s bad temper. “Come on, you won’t regret it. I’ll even give you a training session for free. And I don’t think you really want to head out that badly, do you?”

He Tian could feel Mo’s hesitation, saw the small breath of uncertainty that caught at his throat, the deep frown that settled as he contemplated his words, and took advantage of Mo’s indecision. “Here, let me take you to the locker room so you can put your coat away.” He Tian walked ahead without looking behind him but smiled to himself as he could feel the young man trailing behind. Once they were in front of the lockers, He Tian allowed Mo Guan Shan to pick one of many red lockers lining the wall and watched as Mo selected the farthest one, took off his cap and shrugged out of his jacket, revealing the sleeveless white undershirt that fit tightly to his attractive, muscled frame. The material was almost translucent and when Mo turned to look at him, He Tian could see Mo’s perked nipples underneath. It took everything he had to keep his eyes above Mo’s chest, meeting the quizzical ones that gazed up at him. “Shouldn’t we get going?”

He Tian nodded. “Here,” He Tian gave him a small key that would be used to open the locker when they were finished. Mo Guan Shan reached out, his fingers still cold as He Tian felt his touch, and pocketed it in his grey sweatpants. He Tian thought how lucky it was that Mo Guan Shan had worn sweatpants and sneakers on this day, appropriate for the occasion. “Follow me,” he said as he led him back to the workout hall.

He Tian scanned the room and saw even less people than before; only two others were left aside from Zhan Zheng Xi and Jian Yi. It seemed that Jian Yi was struggling with the weight on the bench press, but Xi was taking good care of him and was over him and ready to grab the weight if it came to be too much for him. He Tian smirked, and directed Mo Guan Shan towards the treadmills. Mo Guan Shan immediately protested.

“I want to lift some weights,” he said.

“We’ll get there, but we need to warm you up first,” He Tian replied. “Let’s start you off with a five-minute cardio session to get your blood pumping, and then move on to some light stretching.” He Tian smiled at him. “I know it sounds tedious, but trust me. Your body will thank me for it later.” Mo Guan Shan couldn’t help but think there was an ulterior meaning behind his words, but followed along as He Tian pushed the level up on the treadmill he was led to until Mo was at a light jog. He Tian looked on appreciatively and thought to himself that Mo had good form. Usually he would have to correct his clients on their posture but Mo was firm, and his jog was lithe and smooth, keeping his breathing even while trying to avoid He Tian’s stare.

After the five minutes had elapsed, Mo got off the treadmill and was sweating mildly, his cheeks a nice, healthy flush of pink. He Tian thought how nice his complexion looked, and how he would love to see more of it in a more intimate setting with just the two of them. In his bed, most preferably, with his flushing face being caused by something He Tian did to him. He Tian could already imagine running his fingers down Mo Guan Shan’s bare chest and eliciting a sharp cry once his hand cupped his sex. His thoughts were getting to be too dangerous, and he had to snap out of it to face the man before him.

“I’m ready now,” Mo Guan Shan said.

“Almost,” He Tian replied. He Tian walked up to Mo and got behind him, placing his hands on Mo’s shoulders, who bristled at the contact. He Tian clicked his tongue. “Your muscles are quite tense here. I need you to keep your back straight and have you lift your shoulders and then roll them forwards, and then backwards. Do this until you feel the tension ease up a bit.” Albeit reluctantly, Mo complied, and while he didn’t want to admit it, these motions did seem to help loosen up his body. He Tian looked on approvingly. “Good, that will do for now. Next, let’s follow it up with a trapezius stretch.” He Tian lightly took a hold of Mo’s arm and brought it behind his back. “With your other hand, grab the arm I have behind your back and pull gently. Hold this position for about 15 seconds and,” He Tian let go of Mo’s arm and gently rested his hand on Mo’s hair, tilting his head to the side, “tilt your ear towards the direction your arm is being pulled. You will repeat this motion again with your other arm once you are finished.” Mo felt strange being handled by He Tian, but now his neck muscles were loosening up along with his shoulders and he couldn’t complain. A sigh escaped his lips.

“Does it feel that good?” He Tian whispered into his ear, and Mo Guan Shan blushed.

“You jerk, don’t stand so close!” Mo’s ears were red, and He Tian thought how fun it was to tease him.

“Did I startle you, Little Mo?” The nickname came easily to He Tian’s lips, and he liked the sound of it. “After you’ve completed some cross-body arm stretches and quad stretches, we can then start with the workout.”

Once he was finished with those stretches, He Tian led Mo Guan Shan to the area with the weights and machines, and saw Mo’s eyes light up. “How cute,” He Tian thought. On the way, He Tian picked up his water bottle from the counter in the center of the gym, and Mo, seeing this, said, “I’m thirsty. Are there any more water bottles?”

He Tian smiled internally with the little devil horns appearing on his head, and he said, “You can have mine.”

“I don’t want yours. You’ve already pressed your lips to it,” Mo responded, annoyed.

“Do you see it as an indirect kiss?” He Tian mused. “Aren’t we a little too old for that? Have a taste, Little Mo. It’s nice and cold.” As he said this, He Tian removed the cap and took a slow sip from the water, watching him as he did so. Then he offered it to Mo. In reality, he was not expecting Mo to take it; he was playing around and He Tian knew that they did have a fridge full of water bottles, which he was eventually going to offer to Mo. So he was surprised to have Mo tentatively bring his hand up and take the bottle from He Tian, who almost let it slip from his own fingers, and stared wide-eyed as Mo Guan Shan brought the bottle to his lips and began to drink from it. He Tian stared at Mo as he finished drinking, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, his lips now wet and, He Tian thought, enticing. He licked his lips.

“Where do we start?” Mo asked.

“Let’s begin with some push-ups to get you started off strong. I want you to place your feet on this small bench to get them in an elevated position. Now get yourself down in a plank position, keeping your head and back straight as you come down for each push-up. You will do three sets of 20 push-ups. Also,” He Tian came over with a weight and placed it on Mo’s back, “this will add some spice to your workout.”

Mo Guan Shan felt the weight at his back and adjusted his position. “This guy’s not playing around,” he thought. Mo completed the first set smoothly, gave himself a forty-five second pause before beginning the second set when he started to feel the burn in his arms and core. The third set took more of a push, but reaching the end of it, He Tian was satisfied.

“Wow, you’re so strong~” He took the weight off of Mo’s back and rustled his hair playfully. Mo knocked his hand out of the way and asked, “What’s next?”

“After a push comes the pull. You’re doing pull-ups next.” He Tian directed Mo towards the pull-up bar. “You’ll do fifteen sets of five.” Mo began to reach up to the handles when he felt He Tian wrap his arms around his waist. “What the hell are you doing?!” Mo blushed and squirmed against his hold but He Tian didn’t budge.

“We’re adding a weight lifting belt. Don’t think I’ll go easy on you.” He Tian leaned his chin against the crook of Mo’s neck, pressing his chest against Mo’s back as he wrapped the belt around his waist, tightening the straps. “Ugh,” escaped Mo’s lips.

“Is that too tight for you, Little Mo?” He Tian loosened it slightly. “Sorry, your waist is small compared to my usual clients. How about this, is that better?” He Tian’s hands lingered at Mo’s waist, his breath tickling Mo’s ear.

“Better.” Mo didn’t like the warm feeling rising in his chest, so he stepped away from He Tian abruptly and reached out to the handles once more.

“Keep your legs straight, we’re going for the tactical style pull-up. Your lower back will appreciate it,” He Tian said as he watched Mo’s form. Mo complied, and felt his core was feeling it more in this position than the usual way of doing it. His arms were burning, but having eyes on him pushed him to complete the sets. He Tian admired the way Mo’s muscles moved nimbly, the way his shirt clung to his taut body, the way his fiery gaze pierced ahead of him in intense concentration as he focused on completing the sets. He Tian could only think how he wanted to tame him and make Mo Guan Shan’s body surrender to his own. He wondered if Mo could see the effect he was having on him.

“I’m done,” Mo Guan Shan said. He let go of the handle and tried to remove the belt from his waist but his fingers were fumbling on the straps.

“Let me.” He Tian bent his head down, their foreheads nearly touching, and his fingers undid the straps with ease. Mo Guan Shan didn’t meet his gaze. “What now?” Mo asked.

“The bench press. I told you, I won’t go easy on you.” He Tian brought him toward the bench and wiped it down. He Tian then brought a bench press weight of 215 pounds and set it on the rack. “You can lie down now, Little Mo.” Mo Guan Shan did so, firmly planting his feet on the ground. Mo tried to ignore the fact that He Tian’s crotch was level with his face, and prepared himself to grab the weight. “Widen your grip a little more, Little Mo.” He Tian’s fingers came over Mo’s and brought his hands the right width apart. “Good. As you remove the weight from the bar, keep your arms straight and then lower it down to your mid-chest. We’re aiming for four sets of eight reps. I’ll be here if it gets to be too much.” As Mo brought the weight down, He Tian stayed by him and watched as he worked on each set. At times he would bring his hands over Mo’s to grip the weight as he felt Mo was losing his grip or the weight was remaining too long near his chest. “Don’t push yourself,” He Tian said.

Once he was finished, He Tian helped Mo get the weight back on the rack and watched as Mo Guan Shan laid on the bench, breathing heavily, sweat tricking down his forehead. He Tian stepped away and came back with a clean towel, crouching down next to Mo and wordlessly pressing the towel to his forehead, gently pressing at the skin. Mo Guan Shan looked up at him, his lips parted and his eyes hooded. He was too tired to protest. Mo was about to sit up but He Tian gently pushed him down. “Don’t rush. Rest a couple of more minutes and then drink some water. We’re almost done.”

“Hey, He Tian.” He Tian turned to look up at Zheng Xi, who was bundled up with his coat and with Jian Yi at his side, their arms linked together. “It’s almost closing time.”

He Tian surveyed the gym hall and found the four of them were the only ones left. “I’ll take care of it. Leave me the keys and I’ll close down properly when I leave.” Zheng Xi nodded and flung him the keys, which He Tian caught easily.

“We’re leaving then,” Xi said, giving a short nod to both of them.

“I knew you’d like it, Shan! Did you have a good time?” Jian Yi chimed in, but was being dragged away by Xi before he could get a reply. “See you two next time!” He yelled out from the door. Now they were alone.

Mo Guan Shan broke the silence first. He came to a sitting position and He Tian looked at him. “I should leave now,” he said. Mo looked outside and saw that it was getting dark.

“Hn. I still had more things I wanted to do with you...” He Tian ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Will you come back to me?” He Tian needed him to say yes.

“I don’t know,” Mo Guan Shan responded honestly. The workout did him good, but he was scared about developing any attachments to He Tian. The thought of that scared him more than he wanted to admit.

“Come back to me,” He Tian stated firmly. He rested his hand over Mo’s, and his coal eyes probed searchingly into red ones. “Only to me.”

“I—“ Mo started.

“Please,” He Tian breathed.

Mo Guan Shan looked down at their hands, at the green veins that lined He Tian’s, his hands bigger than his own, and saw him tightening his grip. “Why am I not pulling away?” Mo thought. “Why am I still here?”

As if a distant person were speaking, Mo heard himself say, “Okay.” And then he felt a pull at his hand, and then he was being embraced, feeling something warm on his lips, on his cheek, on his neck. It took him a minute to realize he was being kissed, and he was about to say something, putting his hand at He Tian’s chest to push him away, but his lips were captured by He Tian’s, warm and moist and tasting of peppermint, and he brought his hand to Mo’s neck and kept him there, pulling him in, feeling as the struggle became less pronounced, a moan beginning to build up behind Mo’s parted lips. They were both breathing hard when they came apart, and Mo’s cheeks were flushed, his mouth slick, with He Tian wanting to fuck him right here, damn it if he cared what people saw, that he was still at work, that people could see them from the glass windows. He wanted to push Mo Guan Shan back down on the bench press and trap him under his weight, to grind down on him and watch Mo squirm underneath him, but it was too soon. He Tian knew Mo Guan Shan wasn’t ready to accept him yet, but he would wait for him until he was.

“Fuck, what was that for?” Mo finally managed to say, his face still very much red.

“It was my thank you. I couldn’t control myself,” He Tian said, smiling his wicked, playful smile. “Now go grab your coat. I’ll wait for you outside.”

“You don’t have to wait, I know my way out,” Mo replied stubbornly as he made his way to the locker room.

“I have no choice. I have to lock up, remember?” He Tian called out to Mo, who showed him the middle finger. He Tian chuckled.

“Anyway,” He Tian thought to himself. “I have to wait for you. Because tonight,” he smiled, “you’re coming over to my place.”

-littlemomountain

#19 days #old xian #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan #my writing #gym au

[corvusravenette]

Day 1: Chocolate

“Little Mo, I want chocolates for Valentines,” 

The lazy drawl of an all too familiar voice crawled up his spine, as an arm nonchalantly slung itself over his shoulders. The redhead didn’t need to turn around to know who it was that had attached himself to his side, crowding in on his personal space. Instead, Mo Guan Shan cringed at the audacity of the request, sending fresh blush to heat up his face in embarrassment. It was spoken out loud enough for everyone within hearing vicinity to twist their heads around, their eyes wide in disbelief. 

“What the fuck do you want chocolates for?! You’re not a girl!”

“Ehhh.... So you’ll give chocolates only if it was a girl, huh?”

“T-That’s not what I meant, chicken dick He Tian!!”

“Then what do you mean?”

“Why should I give you chocolates?! It’s not like we’re dat--”

“What was that Little Mo?”

“N-Nothing! The fuck! Get off me! You’re always putting me in a bad mood!”

The day had ended before it had even begun. His mood had soured even before the first period started. He Tian had walked him to class and had incessantly prodded him about what he had almost said earlier. He was so embarrassed, it took all of his effort to not beat the guy senseless and run away. Honestly! He was such a child! Why does he do this to me every day? Doesn’t he have better things to do with his time?

He had never welcomed the sound of the first bell so willingly. He pushed He Tian off him and the former was almost reluctant to let go, staying by the classroom door until Mo Guan Shan was seated. Mo Guan Shan flicked his middle finger up and the smile on He Tian’s face only grew wider. Only then did he move away, waving his goodbye. 

It was a good few hours before recess so he breathed out a sigh of relief. His nerves were on edge and what was that he almost said to He Tian? What was he thinking? His mouth had run off on its own again before his mind could catch up with it. Knowing the bastard, he would revel in the admission and would never let him off the hook. Mo Guan Shan shuddered. He’d face down She Li anytime but He Tian... He Tian was a-whole-nother level of crazy.

“Chocolates, huh?”

***

Recess came around quicker than usual that day, faster than Mo Guan Shan could’ve hoped for. He’d begun to detest recess only because He Tian would be there to hound him, harassed the living daylights out of him and repeat the cycle when school let’s out. 

He was glad that it was a Friday though. It meant He Tian would have cleaning duties after school and he would get to run off before the bastard had a chance to track him down. Then two days of weekend where he could work in peace and not have to deal with the towering maniac.

It’d come to this. A game of cat and mouse. Mo Guan Shan was the unfortunate mouse, running in circles around He Tian, who glorified in the chase. Some days he could tolerate crazy, but others, like today, he could barely contain his nerves. He’d been like this for awhile now, ever since He Tian came to his rescue a few weeks ago, saving his sorry ass from being kicked. 

He was... indebted. As much as he hated to admit it, if He Tian hadn’t been there, he would’ve bled to death on the sidewalk and nobody would care. He paid for his hospital bills, even stayed into the wee hours of the morning to wait for him to wake up. Granted he disappeared for a week after that, but when he came back, he saved him again, from a full can of coke that could’ve split his head open after being thrown off the top floor balcony.

Yes, it’d come to this. He had become hyper aware of He Tian’s presence in his life. He’d had unsolicited dreams of him while he was in the hospital. He’d begun to see He Tian everywhere he looked. It was unnerving the way the devil could slip into his mind and wreaked havoc from within. 

The sounds of chairs being scraped backwards, and the rising crescendo of voices pierced his wayward thoughts and pulled him back to the present. He put away his books and that tap on his shoulder was all the signal he needed to stand up. Without even looking at the person, he moved towards the door, and felt the familiar weight of a certain boy’s arm around his shoulder again.

***

“Here’s your pay for today, Guan Shan, thank you for your hard work!” the shopkeeper piped up.

Mo Guan Shan had just finished his shift at the grocery store and said his goodbyes. He began to rub his hands together as he prepared to make the half hour walk home, dispelling any soreness from carrying the baskets of fresh fruits and vegetables all afternoon. The shopkeeper was in a better mood today, sales had picked up and in return, he had earned extra pay too.

He had succeeded in avoiding He Tian when he left the school but as he looked up, the unmistakable figure leaning by the lamp post smoking a lit cigarette came to his line of sight. Sighing, he walked past the boy, pretending he hadn’t seen him. He was too tired to deal with this bullshit right now. He wanted to go home, take a shower, have a hot meal and go to bed.

“Why are you following me?” Guan Shan asked after a moment’s walk, stopping to look left and right as he crossed the road.

“Making sure you get home safely,” came the quiet reply from behind him.

Mo Guan Shan wanted to retort an insult but the quiet way He Tian addressed his reasons for stalking him at his work place shut his protests down. A slight heat crept up his face, and he knew he’d turned red again. This is He Tian’s doing. He could do this simply by using his words. His words were sin reincarnated. 

They didn’t talk again after that. A quiet camaraderie, just two boys walking down the same path. Mo Guan Shan was tired after all. He didn’t have the energy to argue despite knowing He Tian lived in the upscale side of town, complete opposite directions to his home. 

Turning the corner, they came to a halt by an old apartment. Mo Guan Shan looked up. Should he invite He Tian in for walking him home? It’s still fairly light out, He Tian should get going instead. While debating himself in his mind, he felt a presence by his side and turned around, coming almost nose to nose with He Tian.

“W-What are you doing?!” He stuttered, triggering his defensiveness.

“You’re home safe now, so I’ll see myself off. See you tomorrow~”

Wait... what just happened? Did He Tian just excused himself after walking almost half an hour to his home? He was just going to walk back another 30 minutes, possibly longer before he reached his own apartment? Mo Guan Shan stared incredulously at the figure who was just about to walk away from him into the dimming skylight.

“W-Wait! He Tian!” 

The boy turned around, a puzzled look on his face because Mo Guan Shan rarely addressed him by his name. He saw the redhead fumbling with his schoolbag, picking something out from it and tossing it to him. Catching it in his hands, He Tian looked down, his eyes widening in disbelief. 

“Chocolates...” 

He looked up to see the redhead had already turned around, his ears a distinct red as he walked away hurriedly towards his apartment. He Tian smiled, waited for Mo Guan Shan to walk up the stairs and away from his sight, before he pulled out his phone to text the boy he had inadvertently fallen in love with.

“Thank you, you made me so happy. Happy Valentines,”

#tianshanvalentine #19 days #tianshan #he tian #mo guan shan

[heyiamnasu]

Mo Guan Shan wiped his face clean with a paper towel.

Fucking He Tian.

That bastard made him soaked in tomato sauce from head to toe then he even dared to faint and left him alone with the cleaning. Mo Guan Shan had seriously considered to leave him there on the cold kitchen floor and go home without saying anything. That dark haired devil would have deserved it.

He is such a piece of shit.

Guan Shan angrily threw the dirty papers to the bin and walked back to the still unconscious boy. He Tian’s face was kind of peaceful and innocent while lying there motionless and Guan Shan just wanted to punch him again. He didn’t want to think about the slight remorse that filled his chest. Maybe – just maybe – he didn’t want to hurt He Tian that extent but that fucking bastard just provoked him. And is he really that sick that he can’t even bear a blow in the face? What the hell happened to his strength?

Guan Shan looked at him with unreadable eyes for a while then suddenly nudged He Tian’s arm.

“Wake up, you chicken dick.” He Tian didn’t respond at first so he slapped the other boy’s arm again. “Don’t fucking play with me, I know you are awake.”

It was just a vague guess but whether it was true or not He Tian’s face frowned at his words and he slowly opened his eyes. Mo Guan Shan had to admit to himself that the idiot truly looked sick. His face was not that menacing like any other time. But he still looked like a fucking jerk.

“Hey, Little Mo.” The idiot smiled at him with his stupid shit eating grin like nothing happened. His eyes darted slowly to his own chest and surprise appeared in his grey gaze. “Wow, did you cover me to not catch a cold? How considerate and sweet of you~.”

Mo Guan Shan’s face immediately heated up with embarrassment. Fuck.

“Shut the fuck up.” He said awkwardly and quickly moved away from He Tian’s side. “I had enough of your bullshit for today. I cleaned up your fucking mess, I am leaving now.”

A stupid pout appeared on He Tian’s face and it made him even more childish. He looked like a little boy at that moment, lying on the floor so vulnerable.

“And leave me in this state?” He started in an offended voice which Guan Shan considered so fake and irritating. “I can’t even stand up, you made me so weak with that punch, Momo… Now you have to take care of me properly.” He Tian’s pout turned into a demanding and self-aware smile. “Put me in bed and make me a delicious dinner~.”

Mo Guan Shan seriously wanted to hit him again.

“Fuck you. Like hell I will do.” He stated with irritation. “Where did your fucking dad go? Ask him to help you, I am not your fucking nurse or cook!”

Seriously, what the hell is He Tian thinking? He fucking ruined his whole day, tricked him to come here for nothing, wrecked his clothes and now is he demanding to cook for him and playing nurse? Where were his fucking parents? It would have been their job to take care of him when he is fucking sick. Such rich people and still fucking useless.

He Tian’s eyes went wide with confusion at his question. Even his stupid grin froze on his face.

“My dad?” He asked in a strange, dark tone which made Mo Guan Shan shiver. Fuck, I asked something wrong? But in a few moments He Tian’s face became soft again. Looked like he understood something, and the idiotic smile came back to his lips. “Oh, you misunderstood that as well. That was my brother, not my father.”

He Tian chuckled and Mo Guan Shan felt even more embarrassed than before. Why he didn’t think about that? Fuck, it didn’t really matter anyway, he was still right about the boy’s family.

“Whatever.” He tried to look unconcerned but he couldn’t let go of his anger. “Why the hell did he leave his sick brother alone? Your family seriously suck.”

Fuck, maybe I shouldn’t say that. Mo Guan Shan winced as he remembered the last time he insulted He Tian’s family. They were in school and He Tian kicked him in the stomach and he totally deserved it. Now he waited for the other boy to stand up and give him a huge kick again or punch him in the face.

To his biggest surprise He Tian remained on the floor silent. He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, just smiling at him but under that smile there was something strange which made Mo Guan Shan’s chest tighten. But that strange thing was only there for a moment because in the next second he became that carefree person again that Mo Guan Shan knew.

“Aww, are you worrying about me that much?” He Tian asked with the biggest smile on his face. “So sweet.”

What?! Mo Guan Shan forgot about He Tian’s family immediately. What the hell is he talking about again? Fuck. Now he really just wanted to go home.

“What the fuck gives you this stupid idea?” he asked nervously as he avoided the other boy’s gaze. He Tian’s grin became even wider and even though he was still lying on the floor, it felt like that he was standing above Mo Guan Shan and looking down on him. Like the predator he was.

“Well, you even told me today that you like me.” He Tian stated matter-of-factly and his eyes was gleaming in the shadowy kitchen. He looked so content and self-conscious.

Mo Guan Shan’s heart almost fell out of his chest in that moment.

“What the heck are you talking about? I-I didn’t say such a chicken dick thing!” His voice was fucking trembling and he hated himself for that. And that fucking bastard was still smiling at him knowingly.

“’He Tian! Actually I don’t hate you that much.’ I made a print screen of your message. I think I am going to put it in a frame and hang it on my wall. It would look perfect above my bed, wouldn’t it?”

Guan Shan felt that the blood rushing to his face. He probably looked like a ripe tomato in that moment. What an irony!

“Fuck you, that… that doesn’t mean that I like you. You can go to hell!” He shouted and this time he completely turned away from the boy and started moving towards the front door.

Fuck. That fucking picture about that idiot’s fucking tomato sauce-y hand. He really, truly hates him. Always playing stupid pranks on him, he had enough of him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Mo Guan Shan almost reached the door when suddenly he felt a strong grip on his arm. Shit.

“Hey, wait…” He Tian stood in front of him, his smile disappeared from his face and seriousness appeared in his grey eyes. He looked kind of pale in the dim evening light.

“Just stay for a bit…” He asked slowly and his voice were calm but pleading. Quiet.

Mo Guan Shan swallowed.

“Why the fuck should I stay?” He looked into He Tian’s desperate eyes and he really didn’t understand the boy in front of him. “You are totally fine on your own.”

He Tian’s hand was still on Guan Shan’s arm and his grip was so strong that it almost hurt. But Mo Guan Shan didn’t say a word and he didn’t flinch. He just watched He Tian – the real He Tian – finally without any fakeness. He was tired and hurt… and so fucking lonely. A little boy who was sick and needed somebody to take care of him.

“Maybe I am not that fine on my own.” He Tian started slowly, put an emphasis on every word. “And maybe I also don’t hate you that much.”

He Tian lowered his gaze, and his hands went down from Mo Guan Shan’s elbow to his hands. The dark haired boy silently entwined their fingers and slowly stroked the soft skin under his thumb. He didn’t look up.

Mo Guan Shan’s heart was crazily beating in his chest. He wanted to pull away his hand, he really wanted to. He wanted to push off the bastard. He wanted to run away, as far from this evil boy as possible. This was fucking dangerous. A trap. He knew it.

But for a strange reason he didn’t do anything. He didn’t pull away. Maybe he didn’t really want to. Maybe it was true after all that he doesn’t really hate him that much.

Maybe.

“Fuck.”

He stayed with the idiot.

#tianshan #mo guan shan #he tian #19 days #old xian #fanfiction #my fanfic #english is not my native language so i am really sorry about the mistakes ;_; #i am so nervous this is my first english fic ever #i love this pairing so much #chapter 234

[lemonysharkbait]

He Came Along

19 Days TianShan Cowboy au. This is a one shot thing that just popped into my head one day. Because who doesn’t need He Tian in cowboy boots?

He Tian herded cattle through the wide, open lands of the American West. It was lonely work, mostly solitary except for the large roundups in the spring and larger cattle drives throughout the year. But he liked the way the broad spaces vaulted up to meet the sky. Burnt orange rocks stuck proudly out of the landscape as stark as the empty blue heavens.

There was a wildness out here. A wildness just about matched by the look in the eyes of the British noble, sitting sullenly in his saddle across from He Tian.

A group of rich vacationers, come to see the Wild West and hunt buffalo, was out riding for fun when He Tian approached them. He had never heard accents like theirs. They offered him work. He accepted, partially because of the curious scowl of the silent red head. He was dressed fine, too fine to be out here.

And he pretended to ignore He Tian. The others giggled and fawned over a real American cowboy. The red head looked annoyed with the whole thing. But He Tian tipped his hat when copper eyes flashed a quick look.

A week near him was sweet torture, and He Tian realized he would have to endure this for a month. The leader of the little group had hired He Tian to be their guide. They were vacationing in a large estate, fully stocked with supplies and staff in the middle of nowhere. The leader, an old man with a booming voice, could be described no other way than eccentric. At first, He Tian couldn’t tell which of the young women with him were his daughters and which was his wife. The old man had two large properties in America and he was fixated on bringing home a bison head.

He was paying He Tian a mini fortune and He Tian did his best to sate their odd requests. He built campfires, showed off rope and shooting tricks, told stories of lawless places that still existed and led hunting expeditions.

They found him utterly charming, except for the red head. He Tian learned his name. Mo Guan Shan. He liked the sound of it and he tried to find as many excuses as he could to use it.

That was difficult at first.

Guan Shan stayed in the background of the group. He barely said a word, never asked for anything and never made decisions for the group. He stuck out, with manners and an accent that were different than the others. There was no clear reason why he was even on the trip. The house staff gossiped that the eccentric old man didn’t just like pretty young women.

But as quiet as the red head would stay, during that first week he and He Tian connected over something; something yet intangible.

At first it was just stolen glances. Then eye contact. An innocent brush of fingers. A look that lingered too long. Even the occasional conversation, especially when they were out on a ride and their horses had fallen into step almost accidentally. Guan Shan would say something harsh as though he was apologizing for the other’s stupidity and He Tian would laugh and try to say something, anything, to keep Guan Shan talking.

At the end of that first week, Guan Shan needed help getting pebble out of his horse’s shoe– a task He Tian knew Guan Shan could easily do on his own.

He walked to the back of the stalls and there was Guan Shan, petulant as ever. His arms were crossed and he was leaned back against the wall. He gave He Tian a slow up-down, copper eyes assessing something. He Tian opened his mouth to fill the silent space. But before he could get a word out, Guan Shan crossed the space between them and pulled him into a crushing kiss.

It was hot and insistent and so good. All the pent up tension was released in the feeling of Guan Shan pushed against him.

Until Guan Shan broke the kiss too early. Far too early. And strode past He Tian without a word.

He Tian wondered what he did wrong. He couldn’t read Guan Shan and the feeling lingered through dinner and past sunset. He Tian retired to the cabin off the main house. He was ready to think about the taste of cherries and the feeling of fire when he heard muted footsteps. His heartbeat quickened. Could it be?

He Tian rolled to his feet and crept to the window.

His heart sank a little at the site, which, he told himself, was ridiculous. Why would it be Guan Shan? He Tian reached for his gun. The soft noise was the sound of thieves come to clear out the house of an unprotected rich noble in a foreign land. Word of the bizarre vacationers had likely reached the surrounding towns. He Tian reached for the door handle and was about to fling it open when he heard a voice that froze him in his tracks.

It was Guan Shan, no doubt, what was he doing? He Tian strained to hear what they were saying. Maybe Guan Shan knew them.

Or not.

There were shouts and sounds of a scuffle. He Tian pushed his door open to see a scramble with the red head in the middle. He was outnumbered five to one but holding his own none-the-less.

“What’s going on here?” He Tian’s voice cut through the night, sharp and loud. The scuffle stopped, the thieves and Guan Shan freezing in an almost comical pose. Thank God none of them had a weapon. They were a scrappy bunch, skinny and wearing not much more than rags. They must have traveled on foot to steal the horses.

By now, lights were coming on in the house. These men were penniless drifters, sending them to jail would cost more than it was worth. He Tian waved his gun, motioning for them to go. “Get out of here.” There was a short pause before the five men bolted.

He turned to the red head. “Let’s fix you up.”

Inside the main house He Tian was able to get a good look at Guan Shan. His lip was bleeding and he’d have a black eye tomorrow, but nothing looked too serious. He Tian went about cleaning up Guan Shan. He was still in his evening cloths while the rest of the house was in nightgowns.

“What were you doing up?”

Guan Shan shrugged. “I heard a noise and went to see what it was.”

He Tian pursed his lips. Guan Shan’s room was on the other side of the manor. There was no way he heard anything before He Tian did.

“Oh?”

“Oh.” Guan Shan echoed He Tian with a flat utterance. He turned to look He Tian in the eyes for the first time that night– brash copper meeting cold grey. He Tian was suddenly very aware of how close they were, very aware of Guan Shan, sitting on the sink counter, his knees straddling He Tian, his face inches away. But right as the moment grew to be almost unbearable, Guan Shan lifted his arm.

“Thanks for cleaning my face but I think this needs more attention.”

A deep gash had soaked his sleeve. He Tian panicked for a moment “How did this happen?”

“One of them had a knife.”

A knife. He said the words so simply, like a knife couldn’t have plunged into his gut, or sliced into his throat, or any other number of injuries that would be impossible to fix out here. He had just met this man but somehow that thought sickened He Tian to his core.

Guan Shan didn’t complain once while He Tian stitched his arm up.

“Where did a noble like you learn how to fight?”

“I’m not a noble. The old man, he just owes my family a favor.”

“Well, either way, this cut isn’t too bad and should heal up pretty well. Maybe no more night-time walks.” He Tian beamed his best smile. Guan Shan just scowled back and hopped off the counter without a word. They parted ways in the hall when He Tian heard a faint “thanks.”

The next morning at breakfast the old man and the women were jabbering non-stop about the intruders. He Tian was in the middle of his second retelling when Guan Shan walked up, gorgeous as ever, except with a black eye and swollen lip.

Instead of congratulating him, like He Tian thought he was going to, the old man started a tirade of insults.

“I thought you were done with this childish, reckless behavior, but it seems like nothing will civilize you. Your mother would be so disappointed. And what would father think?”

Guan Shan seemed to shrink under the words.

“If it weren’t for He Tian, you would be dead out there.” The old man shook his head. He Tian tried to smooth things over, give Guan Shan the credit, but the old man just responded with “You don’t have to make excuses for him. He’s always been trouble.”

Guan Shan looked ready to lash out but instead, he excused himself from the table and left.

Three days later He Tian finally saw Guan Shan again. He was out riding his mount hard, making both man and beast sweat. His uptight clothes were mostly discarded. He Tian was checking the tack when he spotted the fiery hair up on a hill. Guan Shan was fully lit up by an intense sunset, all bright hair and copper eyes; he practically glowed.

When He Tian caught up to him, the sun was almost gone, leaving a faint smudge across the horizon. The manor was shadowed blue behind them and in front of them was wildland colored oranges, reds, pinks and purples by the dying light.

“This place is beautiful.” Guan Shan didn’t turn when he spoke. He knew He Tian by the sound of his horse.

He Tian drank in the sight before him “It is.”

The sunset was nothing compared to the flush on Guan Shan’s skin that night. They went back to the stables together, and then to He Tian’s cabin under the pretense of checking his bandages.

Guan Shan felt like coiled tension beneath He Tian– full of fury and fire channeled into this moment, released in this moment. His skin was cream in the candlelight, his lips full and a deeper red than the sun would ever be. With each arch and gasp, each kiss and murmur, he was at once sweetly yielding and stubbornly resisting.

Afterwards, when He Tian lay alone, he told himself it was nothing, it meant nothing, it was just convenient for them both. It was temporary. Always temporary.

It snowed that night. It was early in the fall for snow but it blanketed the barren land with a stark beauty.

Each day after that, He Tian tried to close his heart. And each day he noticed something he liked more. The shadow of a suppressed smile. A soft dreamy look. Sweet words to an animal. And looks of absolute awe at the landscape. He Tian took the group on longer and longer excursions to all the beautiful places he knew and the whole time, he felt his heart soar and plunge with each look from those copper eyes.

It was their last week together. Guan Shan had visited in the night several other times, mostly for sex, or at least under the pretext of sex. He Tian knew he was being used as an escape from something. He told himself he didn’t care.

Each successive visit lasted longer. Each time they learned more about one another. Guan Shan could speak French and Italian and licks of Spanish. He Tian spoke bits of the languages of the Apache and Hopi and his Spanish was fluent but different than Guan Shan’s. It was the Spanish of the new world.

Guan Shan was good with horses but hated the tight rules of eventing and show jumping. He was enamored with western horse traditions. He sucked at card games and had no poker face. He had no stomach for hunting, especially when it was done for sport. He loved and missed sandwiches. He hated the tight, prim way he was expected to dress but used the close layers as a shield.

He Tian knew more about this man in a month than he had ever learned about anyone else. And as the days ticked down he realized he couldn’t let him go. He couldn’t let him just leave. So it was with a lump in his throat and the odd feeling that he wanted cry that He Tian tracked down Guan Shan in his usual spot, in the stables.

“You should come over tonight.”

Guan Shan raised an eyebrow “One last time, before we leave tomorrow morning?”

He Tian shrugged, trying his best to sound cooly nonchalant “Something like that.”

They ate dinner. The old man thanked He Tian for all his help. He Tian retired to his accomodations off the main house and waited. And waited. He tried to shove down his feeling of dread. Tried to rationalize. He has to go. Maybe this is better. He has to leave. A clean break is good.      

But He Tian couldn’t lay down to sleep, holding out hope of one more time before it’s over.

It was that time between the middle of the night and early morning when He Tian heard the quiet sound of practiced footsteps. His heart soared when Guan Shan walked through his door and without thinking, he pulled the man into a deep kiss.

“I thought you weren’t going to come.”

Guan Shan barked a clipped, dry laugh. “I tried. I tried not to, because this is just going to hurt us.”

“I know.” He Tian kissed him again. “I know it is. It already does. But I had to see you again. I want you to stay, but I know you can’t.”

“I want you to come with me, but I know you can’t.”

They paused then, done with words, and just looked at each other. They looked until that was unbearable, and kissed until that wasn’t enough, and made desperate love, trying to forget, trying to make the other forget that this was it.

Guan Shan lay next to He Tian until the sun crested the horizon. He told He Tian how his dad had gone to jail in the old man’s place and to repay the debt, the old man had taken Guan Shan under his wing. Raised him like a noble, paid for his school and all else with the end goal of marrying him to someone of decent stature and birth. A women of course. There was no question of that. But he was interested in pursuing no one. Even worse, the old man knew why Guan Shan was still a bachelor, had caught him once with a dandy. But he had to give that up, marry someone nice with money, and have kids. He had to for his mom and he didn’t have much time. The old man was growing impatient. He Tian listened quietly, rubbing gentle circles in Guan Shan’s back.

Guan Shan pulled on his clothes reluctantly and He Tian watched, trying to etch every bit of him into his memory. He Tian stood to let him out, holding back tears he didn’t want. He reached for the door when Guan Shan turned with a look fiercer than any warrior ready to strike.

“I will find you again. I will see you again. I’ll write when I can but remember that even when I don’t, I am thinking of you.”

He Tian’s stupid silly heart wanted to believe him. Days passed and He Tian felt like his heart was ripped out, torn from his chest when Guan Shan boarded the train that would take him to the east coast to a ship back to England. It was so far away. An ocean away.

The ache didn’t get better for weeks. It lessened, bit by bit, year after year. But a smell or sound or site would bring it rushing all right back and He Tian knew that he was it, Guan Shan was all the intimate love he would ever know. He couldn’t say why, or how. It didn’t make sense, it didn’t need to make sense, it was just him.

Letters trickled in throughout the years. Guan Shan was equal parts curt and sweet in them. He Tian treasured them and stupidly held out against hope for word of visit.

But there was no word of another visit. And eventually, the letters stopped too.

A decade passed. Then another.

The few people He Tian knew, traders and cowboys mostly, noted that his life seemed to have frozen, never moving on from his twenties and never settling down. He was nomadic and haunted.

The wide open lands of Arizona weren’t the most prosperous lands for ranching, but He Tian always felt called back to the orange rocks and blue skies. It was a clear day with a temperature that wasn’t noticeable. Perfectly warm and perfectly cool.

Mirages happened. Usually they looked like water or a rock that wasn’t there. Sometimes a wispy shape in the distance that could be a man on horse. But mirages were not like this. This was a hallucination.

He Tian didn’t move, scared of what was happening, scared he’d make it stop. Guan Shan was there, riding up slowly, his hair the same bright red, his eyes the same shiny copper. He Tian watched open mouthed as the hallucination came closer. Absently, he could feel tears pouring down his cheeks.

The hallucination rode closer and He Tian marveled. It was so real, he even looked older, much older, about twenty years older than when they had last seen each other. And then it spoke and everything came crashing down.

“He Tian?”

He Tian tried to respond but nothing came out. It was him. It was his voice. Not the exact voice he remembered, this one was a little older, but it was him.

“Oh my god.” the words were barely a whisper. He Tian slid off his horse and Guan Shan mirrored him. The other man had tears in his eyes. They crossed the distance between them in a few short strides and when they met– oh when they met. He was real. He was solid. He was here.

Their bodies collided in a grasping hug that became a kiss that fell to the ground, their bodies a laughing, sobbing mess on the dusty ground.

“You’re here, how are you here?” He Tian’s voice was thick with disbelief. He gazed down at Guan Shan beneath him, gently cradling his head.

“I was looking for you.”

The rode back to gather He Tian’s things. Guan Shan was now the owner of the old man’s two American properties.

“I never did marry. He eventually gave up trying, but he also didn’t want to appear as a failure, social rules and all that. So he sent me off to Spain. I speak fluent Spanish now,” the last part flowed off his tongue in the language.

“My family came with me and we lived a pretty good life. But I wasn’t going to give up on you. So I waited and I stayed quiet. The old man got older and we moved back to England. He couldn’t trust anyone, he knew they were all after his money. But I was enough of a pariah that he could trust me, so I helped him through those last years of life.” Guan Shan paused, looking out at the landscape but not really seeing anything. “He never fully accepted me, but we became close. I was there for him in a way his family wouldn’t be.” Guan Shan sighed, remembering. “He left me his American properties and some money. I think, I think he knew.”

He Tian listened, still dumbfounded.

“I gave the money to my parents and asked for their permission to go to America. They wanted me to find you, my mom especially. I’ve been here for two months tracking you down.”

They were at the manor now, the one they had stayed in all those years ago. It was dilapidated but here.

They made up for years apart with hours and days and months together. At some point, all that time added up to years and eventually they were together longer than they had been apart. He Tian had someone to share the wide empty space with. He was happy.  

This just popped into my head one day while I was walking home from work. I’m so glad I finally got it out of my system. I super appreciate all likes, reblogs, and comments!

#19 days #cowboy au #mine #He Tian #mo guan shan #tianshan #fanfiction #my fanfiction #19 days fanfiction #19 days cowboy au #guan shan #one shot #angst #happy ending

[agapaic]

[fic] nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby [2/6]

he tian x mo guan shan

tags/notes: 1920′s au, new york au, reference to drugs and alcohol, gang violence.

links: read on ao3 | part one

this fic was commissioned by @teanshan

part 2: righteousness

‘Are you slow?’ He Tian said, flicking out the fingers of his left hand towards Guan Shan. ‘Or mute?’

His table of companions was looking at him, a collective cocktail of embarrassment and ridicule written on their faces, and Guan Shan shook his head. He held the half-empty bottle of champagne to his chest like a shield.

‘I’m new, sir,’ he said, realising in the ashen silence in his head that he didn’t know what to do.

It was never meant to be like this, exposed and overtly public. Guan Shan may as well have been standing where the jazz band played, whispering into a microphone, spotlights blistering his skin like sunburn. Throwing out accusations now would pull him into the restaurant’s back alley with his throat slit and intestines hanging out between his ribs. He Tian’s dark, watchful eyes promised he’d have no trouble exacting the punishment.

In the onset of quiet, of rapt attention like a Colosseum audience, Guan Shan acknowledged that he had no particular plan for handling this. Everything had lead up to this moment, but not the moment itself. And whatever it would have been, this wasn’t it. Too easy, too close. He Tian sat right before him, the subject of his father’s demise—the uncompromising cause of it, one man against another.

Did He Tian recognise Guan Shan? Did he see the resemblance in their jawlines where He Tian might once have landed a fist? Was there the same fired agony curling smoke through their eyes?

This was supposed to be covert and hidden, some darkened room where Guan Shan had the freedom to find the truth he knew he wouldn’t get tonight, one-on-one. Some position of power that Guan Shan had so naively thought he’d had when he strode down the stairwell and held the bottle of Clicquot aloft at He Tian’s table.

The dangerous men are those with nothing to lose.

He hadn’t been dangerous; he’d been foolish.

‘This isn’t right,’ he whispered. Aloud.

Fuck.

‘Will you all excuse me,’ He Tian said, and then echoed the same in English. He stood without support from his cane, buttoned the suit jacket at the joining of his waistcoat, and stubbed his half-finished cigarette fastidiously into the ashtray on the table.

‘Need help, boss?’

He Tian waved off the man who had stood, the motion enough to get him to sit back down with a thump.

Even beneath the tar-like cloud of smoke that clung to the room, the musk of He Tian’s pomade was cutting as he took an iron grip on Guan Shan’s bicep and tugged him towards the bar, and beside it, a door.

The music didn’t stop; the drinks continued flowing; the conversation and bawdy laughter never ceased. Guan Shan wasn’t a spectacle of the evening—he was an inconvenience to be swiftly dealt with. He Tian’s grip on his arm promised that he would be.

‘Sir—’ Guan Shan started, entirely ineffective. He Tian moved like a freight train towards the door, unstoppable and uninterrupted, and Guan Shan had no strength to derail him.

Door open, Guan Shan was roughly shoved inside, and He Tian locked it with a practiced motion behind him while Guan Shan heaved breath into his lungs, bracing himself.

They stared at each other.

‘Take a seat,’ said He Tian, voice floating darkly into the office. It carried the same aesthetic as the bar, all dark woods and studded leather seating, a huge lacquered desk facing the door that must have been imported from China. Light trickled in from the bar outside, and an old oil lamp sat glowing in the corner beside a glass cabinet. Guan Shan could see his own reflection in it; pale and wide-eyed and caged.

There were no windows, no more doors. The office was serenely private, and Guan Shan had nowhere to run. He stumbled across the room, his pulse pounding like a drum in his ears, stomach rolling, his shaking threatening to tear his chest apart. He Tian’s own heels clicking on the floor in tandem at Guan Shan’s back like a soldier’s march—or a death knell.

Guan Shan slowly lowered himself into one of the two chairs facing the desk, feet planted on the hardwood floor, fingers curled like talons around the arms of the chair until the edges of the wood ached into his palms. He thought that the practiced firing of a revolver probably wouldn’t be heard beyond the confines of the office.

He Tian leant his cane on the desk beside Guan Shan, and extracted a bottle of cognac and two glasses from the cabinet. Bottle unscrewed, Guan Shan watched as amber liquid spilled freely, the silence painful, conscious of every movement He Tian made. His lungs ached with the effort of breathing so slowly, barely letting his chest rise.

‘It’s an 1883 bottle,’ He Tian informed Guan Shan, handing him a glass, like they were friends. ‘Drink up.’

‘No,’ said Guan Shan, instinct trapping his words, and then, ‘Sir. But thank you.’ He put the glass on the desk.

He Tian looked at the glass for a moment, weighing something internally, then shrugged in a harmless suit yourself kind of way. He wandered around to the other side of the desk, and reached down to pull open a drawer.

Guan Shan froze.

‘Do you smoke?’ said He Tian, and placed a humidor on the desk from the drawer. A neat row of fatly rolled cigars stared up at Guan Shan. In his hand, He Tian held a guillotine cutter, large enough to just fit the cap of a cigar through—or a finger.

Guan Shan tightened his fingers on the chair arms, resisted the temptation to sit on his hands.

‘I don’t,’ he said.

The humidor lid slammed down.

‘That’s a shame,’ said He Tian, seating himself in the desk chair and lighting up a cigarette, face alight with the orange glow of a flame for a handful of seconds, guillotine thrown against the desk with a dull clatter, Guan Shan’s eyes on him as a constant. ‘It’s important for me to give guests something they want when they’re in my company. It makes everything so much easier.’ He motioned towards Guan Shan with a hand; his smile was polite and excruciating. ‘That’s what you are, isn’t it? A guest? Because—’ At this, he chuckled and shook his head, a strand of slicked back hair falling into his face, an oil spill on his skin. ‘—you’re certainly not someone in my employ, are you?’

Guan Shan swallowed the knife digging its way around his throat, and felt the slow, burning drag of it down the middle of him, copper and acid welling at his core until he choked on it.

Guan Shan spoke through his teeth. ‘I don’t know what you’re—’

‘There’s no need for lies,’ He Tian interrupted. Smoke crept around him like cold breath in winter, curling and hard to breathe through. ‘Not with me. I know every name and every face in this city, but not yours. I know every name and every face in my employ, but not yours.’ He drummed his fingers on his desk, a steady metronome, and Guan Shan was almost grateful for the motion. He thought stillness would have given way to the panicked pulsing of his own heart. He Tian said, ‘Why is it that I don’t know you?’

Guan Shan said, ‘I dyed my hair.’

The drumming stopped.

He Tian stared at him, cigarette burning down to ash that was ready to break over his fingers. His thoughts were loud, and they built the silence around them both.

Was Guan Shan stupid? Did he think someone like He Tian was stupid?

It was a silence that told Guan Shan he was going to be lucky to get out of this room, let alone find out anything about his father. A silence of sharp edges and dull realisations, like a memory played on repeat before sleep, the regret of words said and the fear of words unsaid, happening in hazy recollection.

Guan Shan closed his eyes. ‘I just wanted to work for you.’

Without inflection, ‘Why.’

‘I heard you were good to work for and—’

‘Who did you hear this from?’

‘What—’

‘That I was good to work for. Who…’ He Tian ran his tongue over his teeth. Something seemed amusing to him. ‘Who rolled my name off their tongue so willingly?’

Guan Shan’s mouth went desert-dry. Sand grains settled in the crooks of his elbows, the bend of his knees, skin sun-blistered and gasping, a dust storm snatching words from his head in its wake.

‘Zhan Zhengxi.’

Betrayal soaked Guan Shan’s mouth like gasoline. The desert roared purple light and glass showers instead of rain, and Guan Shan waited for them to start shredding his skin to bloodied ribbons.

He Tian was leaning back in his chair, eyes flicked up as if he could see through the ceiling to Zhengxi’s office. ‘Really,’ he said flatly. And then, getting to his feet, collecting his cane, ‘Wait here.’

‘No, wait,’ Guan Shan blurted, torso twisting in his chair. ‘I lied. Zhengxi told me nothing. It wasn’t him. It was street talk. My mother’s sick.’

He Tian stayed standing. ‘Your mother’s sick,’ he echoed.

‘I heard you paid the best in the city. I have experience in catering. I need this or I’m dead and my mother’s dead too.’

He Tian looked down at him, the towering, benevolent god robed in black. The man who might’ve put the end of his cane in Guan Shan’s father’s back.

‘I’m not sure I see how any of this is my problem.’

He didn’t know how it happened, where the motion occurred—was it thought or action with afterthought? The aftershock of hardwood flooring on his knees buried him in realisation, followed swiftly by the bruising and and almost-fracturing, and his breath was momentarily stolen from him. He dragged it in with pained gasps, hid it against the floor as he bowed his back, nearly vomiting with the degradation weighing on his spine.

‘Please,’ he pushed out, not raising his eyes enough to stare at the glossed reflection of himself in He Tian’s shoes. ‘I have experience. I can be useful to you. Do whatever you need. Whatever you want. I need this.’

Guan Shan didn’t dare to look up in the silence that followed. He could feel He Tian’s eyes boring down onto him, heard the creek of leather, a smashed glass outside in the bar, his own heartbeat pounding in his head.

‘Get up,’ He Tian muttered, gaze averted. ‘Don’t debase yourself like that. It means nothing to me.’

Uncertain, Guan Shan gathered himself to his feet. He met He Tian’s eyes, black as coal pits, and felt his fingernails bite crescents into his palm. This close, Guan Shan realised how much taller he was—noticed, too, the sharp nicks on the underside of the man’s jaw like razor cuts, the raised white line of a scar sneaking down his shirt collar, the ruby hilted dagger used as a tie pin, the sleek impression of a revolver in his jacket pocket.

There were many ways to kill a man, and He Tian carried more.

‘Do you have papers?’ He Tian asked.

Uncertain, Guan Shan said, ‘I got into the city yesterday.’

He Tian looked at him, the colour of Guan Shan’s hair, the severe lines of his jaw. ‘One day in and already causing trouble.’

‘Sir?’

He Tian said, ‘Here’s the deal. If you fuck up, you’re out. Do you understand?’

Guan Shan understood. He’d understood that the moment he crept down the stairwell.

‘I don’t do something like this often. But I like you.’ He Tian raised his hand, and Guan Shan forced himself not to flinch at the smack he was waiting for. Instead, he felt the steady trail of a fingertip running along his jawline, calloused and rough on Guan Shan’s skin. He Tian’s breath washed over him, rich tobacco and stinging cognac.

‘There’s a fire in you,’ He Tian told him quietly.

His grip tightened, crushing, Guan Shan’s jaw trapped in He Tian’s hold until it ached. Head forcibly tilted up, the cigarette held between He Tian’s fingers snaked smoke into Guan Shan’s eyes until they stung and watered.

‘But know that if you burn me,’ He Tian murmured, ‘which I’m expecting you will, I will pour gasoline over you and gladly watch you burn.’

Seconds ticked by, the world outside continuing obliviously as Guan Shan was rendered immobile, breathing in smoke and feeling like his jaw was about to break, He Tian’s hold bruising—and then he was released.

He staggered back, lungs empty.

‘Yes, sir,’ he said on an inhale.

He Tian’s flat expression soured. ‘You can stop calling me that. It doesn’t suit you when there’s something else sitting behind it.’

‘I don’t know what you—’

‘You do. But you’ve been caught out, so you’ll keep up the facade because you can’t afford anything else. I told you, Guan Shan. Don’t lie to me.’

Guan Shan felt the blood leak from his face. His pulse hammered. ‘Thought you didn’t know my name.’

‘You’re right. I didn’t.’ He Tian drew in smoke. ‘Until Jian Yi came and told me he had a new resident on Mott Street this morning. He was excited. He couldn’t understand why I was so curious about someone who wouldn’t reach out to the societies. It’s almost like you didn’t want to be known.’

Regret washed over Guan Shan in muted waves. He should never have mentioned He Tian’s name last night. He squared himself, resolute. ‘I could say the same for you.’

Surprise, at first, some mild shock that He Tian hadn’t dug his claws into well enough. And then something darker, like He Tian was considering how long it would take to suck a bruise to the surface of Guan Shan’s neck. A smile worked at the curling edges of He Tian’s mouth.

‘You could,’ He Tian said. ‘But anyone who knows me knows me. I can’t say the same for you.’

‘Jian Yi said he’d never heard your name before.’

He Tian tapped ash into the tray and angled his cigarette in Guan Shan’s direction. ‘You should learn from him.’

Guan Shan didn’t ask why Jian Yi had lied. It was blatantly obvious what Jian Yi had been protecting—Zhengxi, a shred of integrity, and himself. The bar was a hub of high-profile sinners whose faces would do well printed in mugshot sepia for the next morning’s newspaper scandal. Their integrity relied on Jian Yi staying hush about who visited the basement of his restaurant to share a certain man’s company.

‘Tell me what you want me to do for you,’ Guan Shan said. ‘If you want me to be a waiter, I’ll wait. If you want me to be your bodyguard, I’ll shield you. Just tell me what I can do.’

‘So eager to serve.’

Eager to be close to you, Guan Shan thought. Eager to find any opportunity he could to find out what happened to his father without asking. Eager to get a knife to He Tian’s throat if the time came. If he asked—if He Tian had been the one to sign a contract for heroin smuggled into the Americas and Guan Shan admitted knowledge of it, how much longer before Guan Shan’s bloated body would float up onto the banks of the Hudson, nameless and paperless and dumped into an anonymous grave?

But Guan Shan had realised something in being here, in standing before He Tian and catching the attention of a man like him.

He wasn’t going to get out of this alive. He wasn’t going to get to leave when he had enough, knew enough. If he got back to China, it would be on He Tian’s orders, and he didn’t doubt that He Tian would have the power to drag him back if he went too far.

You’re overestimating your worth.

‘I’ll have my accountant come to Jian Yi’s place tomorrow. You’ll negotiate a salary and draw up the terms of your contract.’

‘D’you have contracts with all your employees?’ Guan Shan asked shrewdly.

He Tian rubbed a thumb at the corner of his mouth while he eyed Guan Shan. He pulled one final burn from his cigarette before stubbing it out with the others and said, ‘Only the ones I want to keep tabs on.’

‘Why bother with a contract?’ Guan Shan asked. ‘You’ll kill me anyway if I void the terms. You’ve made that really fucking clear.’

‘The contract isn’t for you, Guan Shan. You might not have papers, but I’m not going to spit in the eye of my aides.’

‘You mean your dirty cop friends?’

He Tian smiled. ‘Everyone’s dirty in this city, Guan Shan. And now, so are you.’

Neon bile splattered on the brick wall in front of him, barely evading his shoes. Acid ripped through his throat, eyes streaming, and Guan Shan felt the earthquake start in himself, shifting foundations and broken plates that made his thighs buckle beneath him.

He grabbed onto the wall, knuckles blistering against brick and mortar, fingertips struggling for purchase in an effort to stay standing. Vomit trickled out the side of his mouth and down his chin, and he heaved out labour breaths that shuddered through him.

‘Fuck,’ he whispered, blinking through tears.

Autumn rolled a chilled wind through the streets of Chinatown, but Guan Shan’s skin was fever-hot and sweat-soaked from running so many blocks from the restaurant, the top button of his shirt broken off somewhere into the gutter to expose his throat, pulse threatening to break through his skin.

It was the adrenaline come-down, the end of his bold-faced lies and virgin attempts at deception, a poison persona that shoved a hand down his throat and brought up the empty contents of his stomach.

He Tian was beyond him, some entity of a world Guan Shan had never bordered or entered and had never wanted to. There was a seeping dishonesty to him, a septic wound of cordite and stolen whisky kisses and tobacco in his fingerprints. He was a sickness, and Guan Shan would never be immune.

‘Hey! Don’t be throwing up in my alleyway! You’ll scare off the customers.’

Guan Shan looked over his shoulder to the man at the end of the alley, shadowed by towered buildings and overhead wires and the bleeding light of a weak moon.

Fuck off, he thought, groaning mentally.

‘Your alleyway?’ Guan Shan called out instead, breathing through his mouth, lips wet with spit and throat sore with vomit that was searing his gums. ‘Thought this was public property.’

‘Oh good, you can listen,’ the man said. ‘Guess that means you’re not drunk.’

‘I wish,’ Guan Shan muttered, pushing himself away from the wall. His staggering begged to differ, limbs weak and trembling; his body felt vacant.

‘Well, you look like you could do with one.’

Guan Shan grimaced as he stumbled towards the street, wiping his mouth in his shirt sleeve. ‘Got no money,’ he told the man. ‘Especially not for bootleg liquor.’

The man shrugged. ‘I’ll give you one on me.’

Up close, Guan Shan could see the tired face, thirty-ish, a grease-stained shirt that had long lost its colour, the limpish smile shaping thin lips. A bruise bloomed violently across his right eye, and Guan Shan noted the wince as the guy threw half a dozen trash bags into a dumpster with an aborted swing.

‘Look like you could do with one too,’ Guan Shan remarked.

The guy waved a hand in a dismissive downwards gesture. ‘Work with something enough and it’ll steal the pleasure.’ He said, ‘Come on, brother. It’s on the house.’

Guan Shan needed sleep, to pilfer Jian Yi’s half-empty pantry and make use of his expendable hot water and crawl beneath sheets he probably wouldn’t be granted much longer. But he followed the man out of the alleyway and onto the street, throat dry and body enduring that particular emptiness that was singular to purging one’s innards out into a dirtied backstreet.

‘Welcome to the local watering hole,’ the man said, pushing the door of a corner building open with his shoulder.

The ‘watering hole’ was a dim-lit hallway disguised as a café, metal tables cluttered on one side and a cracked slab of wood serving for a bar on the other. A huddle of old men sat in bar stools at the counter, drinking coffee-coloured huanjiu from chipped ceramic mugs and burning their way through the tobacco in their long-stemmed pipes, while a gramophone warbled shidaiqu music in the far corner of the bar. Burnt sesame oil and rice wine vinegar leaked its way out of a back kitchen, and Guan Shan’s stomach churned at the combination of cooking oils and tobacco smoke that hit him as the door shut behind him.

‘American drinker or local drinker?’ the alleyway guy asked him, situating himself behind the bar.

A mirror stretched across the wall behind the counter, scratched and worn at the edges, photos of Guan Shan’s home growing faded and curled in the same fashion as the bar—men in farming gear and soft family portraits and a young girl with her arms elbow-deep in starched rice water.

Guan Shan drew his eyes away from his reflection, pale skin stretched tight over his bones, a startled look like a camera bulb had flashed and blown his pupils too wide, whites showing around the edges.

‘Neither,’ Guan Shan said.

The barman gave Guan Shan the weighted look of someone who’d just seen him puking his guts up behind the bar. He extracted a clear bottle from beneath the counter and tipped it upwards into a shot glass. ‘Russian it is, then,’ he said, and slid it forward. ‘Drink up, Moonshine.’

Guan Shan eyed the glass set before him with the look of someone who’d just puked his guts up behind a bar and wasn’t sure he could stomach anything else.

He lifted it to his lips with noticeably shaking fingers, and tipped it back.

The burn was immediate and gratuitous, and the answering fire in his belly made his fingernails dig into the wood of the bar until they were close enough to crack.

‘That bad, huh?’ the barman asked. He poured another, and Guan Shan praised himself that he didn’t reach for it immediately.

‘Something like that,’ Guan Shan muttered.

The guy shook his head, throwing a towel over his shoulder. ‘Take a seat. Stay a while ‘til you’ve got your head screwed on straight. Can’t have you stumbling around Mott Street while they’re patrolling.’

‘Patrolling? Again, Xui Ying?’

Guan Shan slid into a vacant bar stool and glanced down to the end of the bar. One of the old guys had pulled the stem of a pipe from his mouth and had it pointed in Xui Ying’s direction, an unruly grey eyebrow raised.

Xui Ying spread his hands. ‘Don’t look at me, Pa. Can’t tell the cops what to do around here anymore. Three murders in a week doesn’t do us many favours.’

His father grumbled, the other men shifting in their seats around him, aged and grey. ‘Like it’s any different to the past fifty years. The tongs’ve been at each other’s throat since they left China. And over what? Gambling? Prostitution? Opium?’

‘It’s more than that, Pa,’ Xui Ying said, head shaking as he wiped over the bar surface.

‘A dead woman,’ another of the men cut in, head shaved, a scar cleaving his skull in two down the middle like he’d been struck by an axe. ‘A murdered laundryman. Whatever happened to the righteousness of protecting each other from outsiders when we start needing to protect each other from ourselves?’

‘It’s pride, gentlemen,’ Xui Ying interjected. He pointed a finger at the men. ‘And it’s hard to win that in a war.’

‘That’s not it,’ said another of the men bitterly. ‘It’s hard to keep throwing money at Tammany Hall and expecting more than they can give.’

Guan Shan leaned over to Xui Ying. ‘What’s Tammany Hall?’ he murmured.

Xui Ying filled Guan Shan’s glass and propped an elbow on the bar. ‘It’s the political machine of New York politics,’ he told him quietly. ‘Patroned half the Irish immigrants that came here. Get a politician in your pocket from Tammany and you’ll have New York in there too.’

Guan Shan swallowed this with the rest of his vodka. He winced and bowed his head.

The men were still talking.

‘At least it’s not as bad as the Gold Coast.’

Xui Ying snorted and wandered over with a bottle of huanjiu. ‘Like you’d all be here if there were any gold left,’ he said, refilling glasses dutifully. He raised the bottle to his father. ‘Like you would have brought me here if San Francisco weren’t as much of a blood bath, Pa.’

‘Sun Xui Ying—’

‘He’s right, Sun Zhi,’ said the man with the scar. ‘You think a man like He Tian would have turned up on Pell Street if San Fran was safe for him to be in?’

A hush draped itself over the bar like a death sheet, and Guan Shan went still. The music lost its rhythm, base sound blaring out, too loud without the talk, or the sound of mugs and glasses smacking down on the bar. Guan Shan was grateful for the drink in his hand, for Xui Ying’s heavy-handedness. What was the penalty for that openness, for He Tian’s name to be thrown out, he wondered. What was the consequence for speaking freely when it came to someone who traded in blood and bullet wounds?

‘He Tian’s a young upstart,’ Sun Zhi said. ‘Bloody and cunning, he might be. But he’s young. He wasn’t afraid of the tongs on the west coast. The east coast—New York—is about expansion. He’s here because there’s opportunity. Because the Hip Sings and On Leongs are at war and he’s ready when the power vacuum forms itself.’

‘In the midst of chaos,’ said Xui Ying wryly, ‘there is also opportunity.’

Sun Zhi waved a hand towards his son, who was lighting up a cigarette behind the bar, hip propped up against the counter.

‘I present my son, Sun Tzu.’

Laughter bubbled slowly from the men, an air of uncertainty still lingering like cigarette smoke, cloying and staining their clothes, soaking up wool fibres and saturating wood.

But the humour didn’t last long. It was the scarred man again, hunched over and whirling liquor in his cup while he spoke.

‘Times are gonna change around here for the white folk,’ he said lowly. ‘And when they do, we’re gonna be hit the worst. I’d rather be with the tongs than against them when that happens.’

Xui Ying made a frustrated sound. ‘Don’t scare away my customers, Wang Jun,’ he complained.

Sun Zhi snorted, waving a hand around the place. ‘Customers? Your old man’s drinking pals and some kid on opium?’

Some kid on opium. Guan Shan kept his head down. If that’s what they thought he was—who they thought he was—then he’d take the insult. Pale skin and blown pupils and an open throat to pour spirits down. Maybe opium was the better alternative than admitting it was only a man that had him shaken and uprooted from his foundations like a tree torn apart by lightning, He Tian a storm cloud collapsed inside a tailored suit.

‘Come on, Wang Jun,’ Xui Ying implored. ‘I’m trying to make a business here.’

The tension lifted, petty banter thrown between Xui Ying and his father’s friends in an attempt to dissolve it. Guan Shan ran a hand over his face. His head was starting to swim, and he was threatening himself with the act of standing up and not falling back onto his knees.

The memory burgeoned again, unasked for: prostration of himself in front of He Tian like a worshipper before a god, bloody and cunning. Guan Shan didn’t need the old men’s commentary to understand what sort of man He Tian was, but it was surface knowledge built on preconceptions and gossip from old men, and Guan Shan was lacking anything concrete.

In the midst of chaos, there is opportunity, Xui Ying had said, but Guan Shan remembered another line from Sun Tzu’s Art of War.

If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.

Guan Shan barely knew his enemy—not well enough. Not yet. Drunk, exhausted, holed up in some decrepit watering hole in the middle of New York’s Chinatown, Guan Shan wasn’t sure he knew who he was himself at all.

‘Got your liquid courage back?’

Guan Shan blinked up at Xui Ying, vision hazy. He could feel himself swaying to the music, a synth mix of jazz and traditional folk that Guan Shan was torn by—the allure of the western voice and the plucky music of his home. He resisted shutting one eye so he could focus on the man in front of him. Resisted closing both so he could pretend he was there, sitting in the kitchen while his mother hummed along to the strings of a zither.

‘Somethin’ like that,’ he told Xui Ying.

His words slurred slightly, and he breathed out through his mouth as Xui Ying chuckled, reaching for Guan Shan’s glass again.

‘No,’ Guan Shan said, putting a hand over it. ‘No more.’

Xui Ying shrugged, stepping backwards. ‘Your call, brother,’ he said, screwing the cap back on the bottle. ‘Whatever you want.’

‘I want to go back.’

‘You need a cab?’

Guan Shan shook his head, cottony and thick. Thinking was suddenly impossible. ‘No money.’

‘You’re good, brother. I’ve got you.’

Xui Ying was suddenly there, at his side, a hand around his shoulders and pulling him up from the barstool. Guan Shan went willingly, stumbling, as Xui Ying led him towards the door.

A ruby-red automobile was purring on the street in front of Sun Xui Ying’s bar, headlights spilling low onto the damp sidewalk, the passenger door already open, a uniformed driver letting his arm rest on the rolled-down window.

‘Of course the fucker sends a Model A,’ Xui Ying sighed, pausing momentarily to admire the car, still reeking of factory paint and engine grease and new leather. He helped Guan Shan step gently into the backseat before shutting the door.

A murmured conversation passed between Xui Ying and the driver, too low for Guan Shan to hear. His head lolled back, a headache pricking him like a fallen stalactite between the eyes.

He’d never been in a car before.

‘This guy’ll get you home, brother.’

Guan Shan rolled his head to look through the window. ‘Xui Ying, you don’t even know—’

‘It’s taken care of.’ Xui Ying smiled, crouching down, elbows resting on the window. ‘Trust me.’

Guan Shan rubbed at his eyes, nausea rolling over him in waves. ‘The bill—the drinks—’

‘Don’t worry about it. The bill’s settled.’ He leaned in one last time, close enough for Guan Shan to hear him whisper over the building rumble of the car’s engine: ‘Mr He sends his regards.’

Jian Yi was at the house when Guan Shan returned, lights turned low, jazz music drifting from a record player in one of the rooms. A bouquet of fresh carnations sat on the side table in the hallway, sweetly fragrant and barely disguising the smell of wood polish and paint sitting underneath it. Guan Shan heard the quiet thudding of footsteps on the floorboards above him as he shut the door, pulling his shoes off. He slumped against it.

New York’s chaos didn’t end at night, which meant Guan Shan had enough time to angle his face towards the open panels of the automobile and suck in night air while the driver made his way to Jian Yi’s brownstone on Mott Street. Lights and music and obnoxious voices swarmed past him, Guan Shan an unsteady observer inside the confines of a machine. He’d had enough of being a participant that night; his resolve had left him.

The drive meant he had enough time, too, to replay the last few hours in his head on blurred repeat, memories of action and conversation soaked in foreign liquor, emotions bolstered by it.

Mr He sends his regards.

So quickly had He Tian had gotten word spread to his contacts. So quickly had he handled things, like Guan Shan was something to be passed over and moved and taken care of. Even with the vodka soaking up his rationality, Guan Shan felt fear trickle through him, a ridged knife in his stomach that kept twisting the more he thought about it. What kind of power did He Tian have over this city and its people that Guan Shan had yet to see?

The irony of the night struck him: he’d refused He Tian’s cognac, and drank his bootleg liquor four blocks away. He Tian wouldn’t have poured it down his throat to loosen his resolve; Guan Shan would willingly, unknowingly, pour it down himself. He Tian was everywhere.

‘Guan Shan! You’re home!’

Guan Shan pushed himself away from the door as Jian Yi appeared at the top of the stairs, bounding down the steps two at a time. He was still in a suit, jacket abandoned somewhere and his waistcoat fully unbuttoned. His hair hung loosely around his face, strands shaped back in a way that was singular to the harried gesture of a hand dragged through again and again. His skin gleamed, eyes bright, but he was frayed at the edges. Guan Shan thought he looked tired.

‘Yeah, I’m back,’ he said. He couldn’t say home. Home was a strange concept that lay flat on his tongue; throwing it around like Jian Yi did was impossible.

Jian Yi hesitated in front of Guan Shan, as if he were waiting for something. Warm greetings weren’t easily at Guan Shan’s disposal. Now now—not after the whole night. Not with the vodka dissipating and the dryness in his mouth becoming more apparent.

Jian Yi cleared his throat. ‘Did you… have a good shift?’

He was skirting around the question he wanted to ask: Why are you back so late? Why do you smell like damp and moonshine and bile?

‘It was fine,’ Guan Shan said, hands in his pockets.

‘Good!’ Jian Yi said brightly. ‘That’s good.’ He chuckled, nervous energy like a live wire. ‘Zhengxi really shouldn’t have kept you working so late.’

Guan Shan shook his head. His temples throbbed, and he regretted the movement. ‘It wasn’t him. I went to a bar with one of the other guys. Grey.’

‘You’re making friends?’ Jian Yi asked, his disposition twisting Guan Shan’s lies. Guan Shan couldn’t decide between guilt and irritation. He hadn’t agreed to daily interviews as payment for staying here.

‘You could say that.’ Guan Shan drew a hand over his face. ‘Look, Jian Yi, I—’

‘I know, I’m sorry. You look exhausted. Go get some sleep. I know you haven’t rested properly since you got here.’

Guan Shan eyed Jian Yi. He was too eager—too awake, an anticipation singing in his words, questioned unasked and unanswered, but Guan Shan’s headache was quickly catching up with him.

He nodded at Jian Yi, side-stepping him to move towards the staircase. ‘See you tomorrow,’ he said.

Jian Yi let him pass, but Guan Shan didn’t hear the sound of following footsteps. He didn’t hear anything. He reached the first step, right hand on the glossed wooden handrail, and paused.

Jian Yi grabbed the opportunity, rope running through his hands and threatening to strip his skin. ‘Was that a car outside? Dropping you here?’

‘You haven’t seen one before?’ Guan Shan said wryly, glancing over his shoulder.

‘I meant—did Zhengxi pay you already? For a cab?’

Guan Shan looked at Jian Yi. The same impression hit him as yesterday at the laundry, a youth that shouldn’t have been wrapped up in the suit he wore, or the huge house he lived in. Jian Yi looked small, standing in his own doorway with uncertainty, like stepping further into his own home was an act of trespassing.

‘Why don’t you ask what you really want to, Jian Yi?’

Jian Yi said, ‘I spoke with He Tian.’

‘He told me.’

Jian Yi had the decency to look vaguely embarrassed. ‘I meant after this evening.’

Guan Shan faltered. He swallowed, throat clicking dryly. ‘News travels really fucking fast around here, huh?’

‘When he’s concerned? Yeah.’

Guan Shan sighed. He turned and lowered himself onto the third step of the staircase, wood digging into his back, head put fleetingly in his hands.

‘You need to be careful, Guan Shan,’ said Jian Yi, voice suddenly quieter. He didn’t move from where he was standing, face moulded from shadows and tungsten lamps and the lights of Mott Street, seeping through the door’s stained glass like a kaleidoscope. He wasn’t the same person as he’d been a moment ago, and the shift was jarring.

‘I know.’ And then, ‘Why did you lie to me?’

Jian Yi looked at his feet. ‘I didn’t want you getting involved in that.’

‘So you got me a job that sits right on top of where he operates?’

Jian Yi winces. ‘I know how it sounds,’ he said. ‘But I’d be able to keep an eye on you there, with Zhengxi. At least you’d be safe.’

‘Safe from what?’

‘The tongs,’ Jian Yi said quietly. ‘You’re angry, right? They snatch up people like that in a heartbeat. And they don’t try and get rid of it. They just keep fuelling it. Throw more dry wood and more gasoline over it. They want you to be angry until you burn with it, and you burn their enemies with you too.’

There’s a fire in you.

The voice echoing in Guan Shan’s head made him shudder, He Tian filling up every vacant space. His words on Jian Yi’s tongue was pervasive and painful; had he given the same line to Jian Yi once? Was that how he caught people? A compliment twinned with a threat.

‘That’s real fucking poetic,’ Guan Shan grumbled.

But he wondered—how openly did he carry it? Could Jian Yi feel the heat of it as he brushed past Guan Shan? Was it his hair, communist-red, and the way his words cut on every syllable like sipping on a cut glass and swallowing water in a blood-filled mouth?

Guan Shan picked at a splinter of wood on the banister. ‘You don’t know why I’m angry,’ he said.

‘I don’t,’ Jian Yi admitted. ‘Are you going to tell me?’

‘No.’

A resigned smile appeared on Jian Yi’s face. ‘Secrets are money around here. Watch that someone doesn’t come and steal it.’

‘I know what I’m doing,’ he lied. ‘And I’ve got nothin’ left to lose.’

‘Why don’t I believe either of those statements?’

Guan Shan shrugged. ‘That’s on you. You’re giving me a place to stay and—I appreciate that. But that’s it. We don’t know each other. You don’t know me. You don’t owe me anything and you said I didn’t owe you.’

‘None of this is about that,’ Jian Yi said, fingering the pocket watch hanging from his waistcoat. ‘It’s about righteousness. About protecting each other from outsiders. While you’re under my roof, I’ve got that duty.’

‘That’s how you have the house, right?’ Guan Shan guessed, distaste seeping through his words. ‘You deal in favours. No one ever has to pay you back, but they know they should. So you get them to a position where they can.’

Jian Yi put his hands in his pockets, rocked back on his heels. ‘If… that’s how you want to see it.’

Guan Shan rolled his eyes. ‘Please,’ he muttered under his breath.

‘Guan Shan—’ Jian Yi started, but he was cut off by a knock at the door, a rap of knuckles on the glass panel.

They both stilled, exchanged glances. It was well past midnight, fast approaching dawn. No one should’ve been at Jian Yi’s door this late—this early. The jazz music playing on the record filled the silence.

Dutifully, Jian Yi straightened himself, and fastened the middle button of his waistcoat. He dragged a hand through his wheat-blond hair, yellowish in the light of the hallway, and opened the door.

‘Hui Chen,’ Jian Yi said, coloured with surprise, shoulders collapsing from their stiff posture.

‘Message from Mr He, Mr Jian,’ came a high-pitched voice, small shadow spilling over the doorway.

Guan Shan rested his head against the banister, and past Jian Yi’s lean frame he caught sight of the same child who had appeared at Guo Wei’s laundry the day before, bedraggled and smudged with dirt.

Jian Yi took the offered note, palmed the boy a few dimes, and locked the door behind him.

Silence settled, dust motes swimming, Jian Yi rendered into static unreality.

‘So?’ Guan Shan prompted.

‘It’s for you,’ Jian Yi said, walking towards Guan Shan with the note extended between index and middle finger.

Cautiously, Guan Shan took it. Jian Yi lingered, but didn’t ask. His eyes were shadowed.

Guan Shan unfolded the note, ignored how his name looked on the front of it. The paper was a rich cream vellum, faintly redolent of tobacco leaves and amber liquor, the writing scrawled in the blank ink of a fountain pen, sharp points and severe lines.

‘So?’ Jian Yi said, a wavering, teasing echo.

Guan Shan balled the paper up between his fist. The record player seemed louder, a woman’s sultry voice taunting.

‘My first job,’ he said, craning his neck back, staring up at the ceiling, dizzy. ‘He wants me to be his secretary.’

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[i-the-goddess]

chapter 243 continuation  {part 2}

…

He opened his eyes to a bright light up his head and noises, so much noise like, people talking in a hurry… and.. a familiar voice calling his name..over and over, like waking him up or rather…conforting him, but it was so loud, his ears were so sensitive that they disoriented his stability, but….he wasn’t walking, in fact it looks like he was laying on something, that is also…moving….”ugh so much noise” he thought and closed his eyes yet again and this time, drifting to sleep.

So…thirsty..

-”mm…wa…er…water”

He tried reaching for the cup on his bedside table, he always keep water around.

But the table seems so far and his hand seems not even moving.

What the hell

He opened his eyes and saw a room that did not look like his, not even one bit, it even smelled different, like medicine almost….its medicine.

He frowned and looked around, it was dark but the light form the hallway seeped through illuminating slightly the room.

It was quiet, very quiet. And he, he was freaking out. His heart beat kept on getting faster the moment he realized that every limb in his body is hardly moving. Uncontrollably he started moving his left leg but felt something a bit …heavy..and warm, on top of it.

Suddenly it felt lighter and GuanShan saw a head rising, and a hand squeezing lightly his own….who the fu-

-”guanshan, you’re up ?”

“He tian why are you here ? Why am I here ?” …but all that came out his throat was a soft dry mumble… his throat hurts like hell. He frowned in confusion looking deeply in he tian’s eyes.

The latter looked exhausted but his face lightened up when he saw Mo…frowning.

-”I’ll call the doctor right away, don’t worry little mo, i will be right back”

Once he tian went out the room, he tumed up the light on his way. Mo then had a clear view of his hands, well.. not so clear…he felt his right eye a bit puffy. But his hands were scratched, his knuckles were in bandages and then it hit him. The fight…the thugs…his mother…the beating and the escape…

He remembers it all now…”did i end up in a hospital? Did he tisn bring me here? How?…i …don’t remember…what…what about my mother ?! Did she hear?, oh no…no…..fuck no….i have to call her…. right now…shit”

-”oh you’re awake! ..earlier than expected”…the doctor looked at his watch and smiling gently at the boy

-”how are you feeling? Can you talk ? Hmm…no i guess, well its normal after being choked, the throat swallowed up and got inflamed”

The doctor begins examining the throat from outside, then opening gently the mouth. Mo was quiet and just staring at he tian that was standing near the door, eyeing him softly, while Guanshan is glaring in confusion.

The doctor removed the sheets revealing guanshan’s naked chest that had two bruises. They were slightly purple.

-”the punches did not hit a vital organ luckily and they are not that deep, expect them to fade away in a week or so, what concerns me is the bruised on your back, i believe it’s a bat ?” He turned to he tian that mumbled bitterly “a baseball bat” the doctor nodded and continued examinig Guanshan

-”that hit was serious. It touched your spine, and did some damage to your nervous system, thats why moving your arms and legs feels heavy…the good knew is that you will regain the functions and abilities as per usual within two to three days..right now youre under heavy medication that relieves pain and they can make you more loose, so don’t worry. The injuries won’t be life threatening, two days from now and you can run around again.”

The doctor finished examining the boy and took his leave after mumbling few words to He tian which the boy nodded to.

Once the two  alone in the room. The silence felt heavy. Guanshan had a lot to say but his throat felt closed up which made him even more confused to the point of anger.

-”i told your auntie that you are spending the weekend at my house, so dont  Worry. I’m…not leaving you here alone”

Somehow he tian read the redhead’s mind and…hearing those words made Guanshan a lot less stressed. he sighed relieved and his face relaxed a bit.

He tian walked up slowly to the chair near the bed and sat there. Never breaking their eye contact

-”since you cant talk for a few hours ill take the lead…ill tell you everything that happened….after you dragged me away, we ended up in a place i didn’t know but you collapsed their so i took you to a hospital, by then it was late evening..no its..12:47am …they took care of you and luckily you didnt have any serious injuries” he tian flashed that famous smile at The redHead but Mo knew how fake and mask like that smile looked at the moment. Because he tians face threw it all, he looked very very exhausted, pale white, with a slit up buttom lip that is no longer bleeding, his hair half of it is going in a No-Direction and the other half is stuck to his forehead, his white shirt is barely white anymore and his eyes were blood shot red with a red tiny bruise started forming under his left eye. His knuckle..no in fact his both hands were wrapped in bandages. He looked so…not “he tian-like”…and yet he keeps on that fake smile.

-”wipe …that fakk..e ..fuck..in g…sm..ile…o..off..f”

He tian, who was holding the redhead’s hand was caught off guard.

The smile faded in seconds amd was replaced by the true angst and fear, confusion and hurt. He was in pain, a physical on.

He sighed and buried his head on guanshan’s thigh.

They stayed like that for a good five minutes before he tian started talking again, head still on the redhead’s thigh

-”you…you scared me…when you collapsed..you..you were out cold…i was…so…….afraid”

Clenching his hand even tighter that guanshan felt what he tian was feeling and…it hurt him..too.

A broken afraid he tian was not something he is used to seeing. He didn’t know how to react, mo wanted to comfort him, to tell him its okay, that he is fine and no need to worry. He hated making people worried, or carring, or any form of attention really..that is how he is. He hates people being up his business without permission. But today, he tian broke that invisible red line that guanshan keeps on redrawing over and over for him. Why….why is he always up my business this…fucking….idiot…got injured because of me. I…hate being in dept. Sigh…but he really did…rescue me…i was in a really tough situation, he…Saved Me, Not once.. but twice.

I never understood this guy, what is his intention? What does he want from me ? Does he even “want” something from me? ….being in the face of danger like that for someone…for a ….a friend? Is he really my friend?

Mo tried gathering up a little breath inside his lungs to speak, even though it hurts like hell to do so.

-”thank yo..u….he…..tian..”

He tian lifted his head at the sound of those words. A weak smile appeared on his lips, it was faint but there.

Still holding the redhead’s hand he moved closer. Slowly and gently until his face was inches apart from guanshan’s , the other felt confused, but calm.

Gently, he tian placed his lips on top of guanshan’s forehead, leaving a warm, soft slow kiss. Mo closed his eyes and held his breath. “..this…it feels nice….it feels reassuring….just like..home”

Its weird because it came from he tian,  but it doesn’t feel that bad, in fact it feels good,

He tian then lowered his gaze at guanshan, which the other looked at him in return, both their eyes were in harmony, they both felt what guanshan refused to admit at first…he felt that kind of attraction.

Both beat up, looking so bad that night yet so sexy in each other’s eyes. It could be the hormones or it could be the drugs that the doctor injected but the redhead knew that if it weren’t for the loss of mouvement in his arms , a hand will be deep in he tians hair while the other stroking gently his bruised cheekbone.

His eyes were so fixated on he tians lip. He wanted to lick the cut…to massage it slowly with his lips while his tongue traces the outline of he tian’s lip.

The desire was so clear in his eyes, his face went red, that beautiful blush across his face made he tian want him more and more, he also was confused by that sudden reaction, but he should never- ..in fact he made a promise to never touch redhead without his permission.

Their faces millimeters a part, their heavy breathing mixed up in the tiny space separating their lustfull lips..

-”..can i ..kiss you?”

Closing his eyes slowly, Mo nodded, giving access to he tian.

gently but lustfully he closed the gap between them, while holding each others hand tightly like their lives depended on the only thing keeping them alive…each other.

____________________________

“He closed the gap “ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Thanks for reading the fanfic !!

#19 days #tianshan

[ladyoftheloch126]

Taster of Chapter 10 - Adversity is a Gift

He Tian was in Cheng’s car, on the way back from the police station.  He was quickly learning that he had this innate ability to drive both his brother and his brother’s lover crazy with very little effort at all.  Wicked evil grin.

“So can I go over to school and tell Mo?”  He Tian took out his phone pretending to get ready to send Momo a message.

“No!”  Two voices rang out in unison.

“Why?”  He Tian was a picture of innocence.  He began typing, making sure his brother could see him doing it.

“Are you a fucking toddler?  I said no, Qiu said no, it means no!”  Cheng was getting that vein on the side of his temple that always appeared when He Tian was pissing him off.  Excellent.

“But I’ve told Mo almost everything now, he knows about my uncle.  Surely I can tell him I’m an undercover spy?  Like fucking James Bond, but cooler, more asian.”  He Tian was secretly pumped that he was ‘undercover’,  it was like something out of a manhua.

“WHAT PART OF NO IS NOT GETTING THROUGH!”  He Cheng’s voice was loud in the car, he swung around and snatched Tian’s phone from him.

“Count to ten.  Stop baiting your older brother you little shit, I want you both thinking clearly.”  Qiu’s normally quiet, calm voice sounded frustrated as he drove them through the city.

“Hey give me back my phone Cheng, or I will kick your gay ass.”  Tian held out his hand for his phone.

“You annoying bastard, try it!  I will pull out my gun and shoot you in the knee.”  He Cheng patted his shoulder holster, where his gun was nestled under his arm.

“Wow harsh, did you hear that officer? He’s going to shoot me, his own brother…. I’m hurt.”  He Tian’s tone was dead pan, sarcasm heavy in every word.

Qiu pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Look you’re giving Qiu a headache Cheng, you better stop being so loud.”  He Tian patted Qiu on the shoulder in sympathy, like this was all Cheng’s fault.

It was He Cheng’s turn to pinch the bride of his nose.  He drew in a huge calming breath.

“Are you finished?”  Qiu looked at He Tian through the rear view mirror and arched an eyebrow.

“Yup.”  That was fun.

“We leave for the prison at 3.30pm, but you need to go show your face at your apartment as well as the office or they’re going to get suspicious and think you’re dodging your duties.”  Cheng threw Tian’s phone on the dashboard for the moment, then turned around and looked at He Tian seriously now.

“Great.”  He Tian’s felt himself tense up at the thought of going back to his apartment.  Apparently Cheng had been over several time to mess up the bed, leave rubbish and move dishes around in the sink and on the drainer.  If his Uncle decided to turn up it would definitely seem like Tian still lived there.

“We will drop you off at your apartment, then you can make your way to the office, I will be there.  Qiu has to go over to the Jian house.”  Cheng reached for He Tian’s still unlocked phone and proceed to mess about with it for a while as he added Qiu’s number into the contacts list.

“Okay.  I need to get some more stuff anyway.”   Tian was thinking he could really do with a warmer coat and more clothes.  This time he was going to grab his passport and some money he had stashed in his wardrobe safe, never know when you might need to leave the country.  There may be police assurances of safe haven and witness protection, but if it all went to shit, he wanted a plan B.

“If anything happens, anything just call us.”  He might give his brother shit, but Cheng had really come through for him.

“Roger.” He Tian got out of the vehicle when it pulled up outside his building.    Standing at the drivers door he leaned down winked at the occupants.

“Asshole.”  Tian could hear the word muttered under breath from his older brother.

As he walked away he stuck his V’s up in parting. Then Tian hurried into his building, he was in and out quickly, leaving with a backpack full of possessions.  Then he showed his face, bowed down at the office.  His Uncle was thankfully not there when he went, so after speaking with his superior and giving promises to attend a meeting the next day, he rushed out with enough time to get his plan in gear.  

He Tian was going to coax Momo to meet him at the school wall during lunch break.  He needed to see Shan, to touch him, kiss him, reassure himself that he was okay, before He Tian had to plunge himself back into his shitty gangster life again.

=========================================

After Zhan Zheng Xi messaged him Mo Guan Shan spent the rest of the morning wondering what He Tian was doing, had he gone to the hospital about his neck?  Was he resting, was he eating?  Worry creased his brow.

When lunch came around he walked to buy a sandwich and a drink, then he ignored invitations to eat with his friends from his class.  Instead he walked over to the furthest basketball court and sat on the grassy area behind the hoop.  There were large shrubs planted along the school perimeter fence.  The air was cold, in fact the area was quiet because most of the student body preferred to eat in the comfort of the classrooms or the cafeteria.

When his phone buzzed he took it from his pocket lying it down on his knee so he could read the message on the screen and open his sandwich at the same time.  Shan took a huge, hungry bite, moaning because he was so hungry.

HE TIAN:  Can I see you?

Momo:  Aren’t you supposed to be staying home today?

HE TIAN:  It’s been a long time since I did as I was supposed to.

Momo:  True.

HE TIAN:  So can I see you?

Momo:  Now?

HE TIAN:  Now.

Momo:  Whatever.

Mo Guan Shan shook his head and shrugged, his boyfriend had apparently grown bored with being covert.   Mo picked up the bottle of water he had bought and unscrewed the lid.  As he was about to tip the bottle back, two strong hands grabbed his shoulders, hauling him back into the bushes.

“AAAH!”  Mo cursed as water poured down his chin and onto his chest, soaking his school shirt right through.  His hand reached out futilely as his sandwich went tumbling into the grass next to his school bag.  Nooo!

Before Mo Guan Shan could speak he was roughly pushed against the mesh fence and a tall body loomed in front of him.  Shan squinted trying to see in the dark, sheltered bushes.  He became aware of a long arm stretched out, strong fingers were fisted in the wire fence above his head, effectively hemming him in.

Before he could swear or kick the person in the balls, his lips were seized in a searing kiss.  Shivers zinging up and down his spine, the hairs stood up on his forearms.  It felt so familiar, so warm that his arms dropped defencelessly at his sides.  When a tongue pressed incessantly at the seal of his lips, Mo parted them with a groan and the kiss quickly level up from PG to explicit.

A hard body pressed into his personal space and his arms lifted of their own volition to snake around a strong, wide back.  Shan’s fingers fisted in the fabric of a jacket, hanging on desperately as his mouth as thoroughly plundered.  All he could hear was the sound of gasping breaths, feet scuffing the dirt and desperate groans every time their lips briefly parted.

His bottom lip was currently being nibbled and sucked on.  Time seemed to stretch into infinity, neither boys wanting it to end.  Two big warm hands cupped the back of his head and the kiss turned slow, languid, like the initial desperate passion had sizzled into a simmer now.

“Tian.”  Mo spoke against his boyfriend’s lips, then made it impossible for He Tian to reply because he plunged his tongue in to play a little, sliding it against the silky interior.

“Hmm.”  He Tian seemed reluctant to stop too, his hands dropped to haul Mo Guan Shan into the circle of his arms, pressing their bodies closer until there wasn’t an inch of space between them.

“You normally drag people into the bushes to make out?”  Every word was uttered softly against Tian’s mouth.

“You’re the first.”  He Tian whispered kissed his way over to Mo’s ear, biting the lobe firmly.

“And the last.”  Mo tilted his head and relaxed into his lover’s arms.

“Definitely.”  Tian gripped Mo’s hips in his hands, enjoying the feel of them hardening against each other.  The kiss finally wound down and Tian rested his forehead against Momo’s, both boys were breathless.

“You ruined my lunch.”  Mo groused, but his hips continued to rub against Tian’s.

“You’re so romantic Shan.”  He Tian huffed out a laugh and shook his head, typical Mo Guan Shan, spoiling the mood.

“Well you did!  My water is toast, my sandwich is on the fucking floor.”  Shan tilted Tian’s chin up and chomped on the flesh of the neck there as punishment.

“Oww!  That hurt.  I miss you Momo.”  Tian trapped his lover’s face in his palms and forced him to focus.

“Me too…..I mean I miss you too asshole.”  Mo blushed and tried to look away, but it was impossible.  So he stood there like a chicken dick and stared into He Tian’s dark, dark eyes.

“I just needed a Momo recharge.”  Tian closed his eyes and enjoyed the closeness of their bodies.  You can’t do this through FaceTime.

“And why do you need a recharge?”  Mo stood there completely docile, enjoying this little moment as much as his boyfriend.

“I need to do something this afternoon.”  Tian felt Momo’s entire body stiffen, then he pulled away, leaving Tian cold, bereft without the warmth of Mo.

First there was silence.  

Then Mo said “Be careful He Tian.” he left it at that.

“I will.”  He Tian kissed Mo’s forehead and stepped away, stepping back towards the hole in the fence all the delinquents knew about.  It was one of the main escape routes if you wanted to play truant.

“See ya.”  He Tian winked and turned away, climbing through the hole.

“Bye.”  Mo Guan Shan stood there like a useless cock and watched his boyfriend disappear.

And that was it, the moment was gone.  Fuck.

#19 days #fan fiction #fanfic #ladyoftheloch #Adversity is a gift #Read it! #tianshan #He Tian #mo guan shan

[fandomfanficsgalore]

A is for Assassin AU: Part 8

Surpriseeeeeeee!

These are always so dang long

Parings: Zhanyi, TianShan

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

Jian Yi’s head pounded as he woke.

He let out a groan, raising his hand and finding it heavy.

“Don’t move,” a soft voice ordered. It was familiar, and Jian Yi relaxed. Slowly his eyes blinked open and he winced at the bright light. He tilted his head and squinted, his gaze slowly focusing on the man sat beside his bed. Zhan Zheng Xi had bags beneath his eyes and he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. Jian Yi would have blushed at the intense gaze if he’d had the energy. He licked his lips slowly, finding his throat dry and his tongue heavy. His eyes flickered down and his heart jolted when he saw Zhan’s bruised knuckles.

“Wha—“

“I told you not to move,” Zhan snapped and Jian Yi stilled, watching him with wide eyes. Zhan sighed and turned away, running his fingers through his hair.

After a second, Jian Yi found his voice,

“What happened?”

Zhan Zheng Xi, surprisingly, turned to glare at him.

“What do you remember?”

Jian Yi frowned, searching his muddled thoughts.

“Uh… we went to find the blonde druggie… and you were talking to some lady, and I was at the bare with salty-haired man…”

Slowly the events came back to him, and Jian Yi’s stomach dropped. His hands went to his chest, though slower than he would have liked.

“You—you saved me?” he asked.

“I could have missed you,” Zhan Zheng Xi warned, “You need to stop being so reckless, Jian Yi.”

“I was working,” he said.

“You were drinking at the bar,” Zhan stated.

Jian Yi scowled.

“Well, you were flirting with some girl, so don’t yell at me.”

Zhan Zheng Xi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. They were silent for a moment.

“You can’t keep doing this,” he said quietly.

Jian Yi stilled, his breath catching quietly.

“Doing what?” he asked, licking his lips. He knew exactly what, and Zhan Zheng Xi’s gaze only confirmed it.

“Jian Yi…”

“Where are the others?” Jian Yi gushed, his heart hammering in his chest. Zhan paused, then sighed. Relief flooded Jian Yi as he said, “Still sleeping, I think.”

The air was heavy around them, and Jian Yi cleared his throat.

“Can I get some water?”

Zhan nodded and rose, and Jian Yi tried not to watch him.

 Two hours later, Jian Yi had regained his motor functions and got dressed, bring back He Tian and Mo Guan Shan. He Tian seemed oddly happier, though he wore the same stoic smirk he usually did. Mo’s scowl looked deeper, but maybe Jian Yi was just imagining things. He’d much rather focus on those two than have to meet Zhan Zheng Xi’s knowing, accusing gaze. Eventually they decided that Mo Guan Shan and He Tian would go back to the club in two nights while Jian Yi took care of the second man from afar with his rifle.

Jian Yi welcomed the adrenaline that came with the work, and set about enthusiastically cleaning his gun, taking it apart and putting it back together several times. The movement was soothing, and his hands worked nimbly along the familiar metal.

He and He Tian grabbed lunch while Mo Guan Shan and Zhan Zheng Xi stayed in the hotel, ordering in.

The air felt good in his lungs as Jian Yi stretched his legs. He Tian smoked beside him, his eyes dark with thought.

“Zhan Zheng Xi was pissed,” He Tian said needlessly after a while. Jian Yi shrugged.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Jian Yi protested weakly. He could smell pizza and it made his mouth water, desperate to find wherever the source was. He Tian snorted.

“That’s not how he sees it.”

Jian Yi glanced at He Tian.

“…Do you think he’s still mad at me?”

He Tian shook his head.

“Nah. Probably more mad at himself, for letting it happen. You know how he is.”

Jian Yi knew all too well how Zhan Zheng Xi was. Sensing his dropping mood, He Tian nudged Jian Yi.

“C’mon, I think the pizza’s over here. You can bring back a slice as a peace offering.”

Jian Yi leapt at that, and He Tian shook his head as he followed the other man, who bounded like an excited puppy along the sidewalk.

- - - 

When they got back, the other two had already eaten and Mo Guan Shan was lounging on the bed in Zhan’s room, scrolling on his phone. Zhan Zheng Xi was at his computer as always, and sat up when Jian Yi dropped the plate of pizza in front of him with a proud grin.

“I already ate,” Zhan Zheng Xi said. Jian Yi’s face fell, and Zhan waved a hand. “Fine, fine. I’ll eat it.”

Jian Yi beamed, and He Tian chuckled, giving Mo Guan Shan a knowing wink when he caught him staring at the other two.

  The rest of the day past uneventfully, and the next day, they set about their plan. Mo Guan Shan and He Tian wore new clothes and decided to go together as opposed to acting as if they didn’t know each other.

“Not many assassins work together, so it will look less suspicious,” Jian Yi had explained, and for once, nobody could deny him.

Meanwhile, Jian Yi rode with Zhan Zheng Xi to the other hideout, having staked a place he could set up and get an eye on the second target.

Mo Guan Shan and He Tian stepped into the club, immediately enveloped in smoke and thumping music. He Tian already had a cigarette sitting on his lips and he placed a hand on Mo’s lower back to lead him through the crowd towards the bar. Mo Guan Shan flushed and grit his teeth, but bit back a protest. He Tian’s hand was hot through his thin shirt, and Mo couldn’t help but be reminded of He Tian pressing him against the wall, lips on his neck and hands dancing along his bare skin.

It took him a moment to realize He Tian was holding out a drink expectedly.

Mo accepted it and took a sip, lips twisting in distaste. It was strong.

He Tian leaned down and Mo shuddered as He Tian’s breath brushed against his ear.

“He’s here. On the dance floor. We should get closer.”

He Tian turned his head away so that Mo Guan Shan could look. He caught a glimpse of a familiar face and blonde hair, writhing against a busty woman with a lewd smile. Mo nodded and began to move, but He Tian’s hand found his back again and steered him forward.

Before he knew it, He Tian’s hand was on his hip and Mo Guan Shan couldn’t help the way his breath caught. The bodies around them jumped and writhed, shoving them closer together. Soon there was no space, and Mo Guan Shan’s chest was flush against He Tian’s. His face burned, and he refused to look up and see He Tian’s satisfied smirk.

He felt He Tian’s hips shift, and Mo Guan Shan found his body responding before he could help himself. He realized that he looked awkward and stiff, and he wrapped his arms loosely around He Tian’s neck, finally meeting his eye. Surprisingly, He Tian wasn’t smiling, but staring down at him with dark, burning eyes that made Mo Guan Shan’s spine tremble.

“I don’t like dancing,” he admitted, because damn those eyes were making him uncomfortable—in a way he would never admit.

He Tian hummed, and Mo Guan Shan felt the treble through his chest.

“You’re good at it,” he said, and Mo scoffed. He Tian’s hand slid lower, resting at the top of Mo’s jeans.

Mo Guan Shan bit the inside of his cheek and turned his gaze to the floor, flicking around to find their target. He found him still dancing with the other woman, his hands wandering more and more that it made Mo Guan Shan’s cheeks feel hot.

“They’ll try to find a room soon,” He Tian murmured, as if reading his mind.

“What about the girl?”

“I’ll distract her.”

Mo Guan Shan frowned at that, and for some reason He Tian tugged him closer. Suddenly he ducked his head and his lips smoothed beneath Mo’s ear.

“He Tian—“

“Just let me have this,” the other murmured. He could only just hear him over the music and the hammering of Mo’s heart.

Mo Guan Shan didn’t know how to respond, so he simply didn’t. They continued dancing, and He Tian’s lips trailed down Mo’s neck, grazing the heated skin in a way that made Mo Guan Shan’s blood feel like fire. He tilted his head, telling himself that he was just being in character. Neither of them had lost sight of their target, but damn if it wasn’t taking all of Mo’s willpower to focus.

He Tian’s other hand found Mo Guan Shan’s hip, and the latter wondered where his cigarette had gone. Teeth nipped at his pulse and Mo Guan Shan gasped, completely forgetting about the cigarette. After a moment of hesitation, Mo’s fingers slid into He Tian’s hair and tightened. The bodies around them moved, forcing them against each other. It was hot and sweat and He Tian was like a furnace pressed against every inch of his body. Panic shot through Mo Guan Shan at the proximity, at the control He Tian had over him then. But then He Tian nibbled on Guan Shan’s pulse and a soft, jilted moan escaped his lips, swallowed by the pounding music.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the blonde man leaving, dragging the woman behind him. Mo Guan Shan’s fingers tightened in He Tian and he felt the man groan against his neck.

“He Tian,” Mo Guan Shan panted, “They’re leaving.”

He Tian straightened, and Mo’s legs almost buckled from the look of pure want on He Tian’s face. It was that same look—that look of promise that he’d given him two days ago. This was not over.

Thankfully, or maybe not, He Tian released him and nodded, quickly switching his features into a neutral expression. Mo Guan Shan hate how he did that—how he so easily bottled himself up, while Mo Guan Shan wore every single emotion out on his sleeve.

He didn’t have a lot of time to think about it before He Tian was weaving through the crowd and Mo had to hurry to follow him, throwing a few elbows to force his way through, which the drunk people around barely even noticed.

When he broke through, he saw the couple making their way towards a hall which Mo Guan Shan remembered from last time being lined with separate rooms. The man handed the bouncer a wad of dollars and was allowed through. Mo Guan Shan took a deep breath and grasped He Tian’s arm, pulling him forward and digging money from his pocket. Trying not to show his burning face, he handed the money over as the bouncer arched an eyebrow. He Tian, thankfully, had caught on, and sent the bouncer a lewd smirk, wrapping an arm around Mo Guan Shan’s waist and squeezing his hip. Mo Guan Shan most definitely did not blush and he absolutely didn’t like the possessiveness that came with it… not even a little bit…

The bouncer waved them through, and he and He Tian passed into the hallway, slowing so as not to look too eager as they followed the giggling couple, who were obviously hammered and groping each other. They barely made it to a room before he went in, and she dismissed herself to go to the bathroom first.

Thank god, Mo Guan Shan thought, and slid a hand from He Tian’s to grasp the knife beneath his shirt, curling his fingers around the familiar weight.

 Jian Yi was in position and peered through the scope. The night was cold and wind seeped through his jacket and beneath his shirt, sending goose bumps rippling along his pale skin. He could picture Zhan Zheng Xi, huddled up nice and warm in the car waiting down below, his face pressed close to the computer screen.

Across the street stood the warehouse, where two body guards stood on either side of the entrance. A black car had pulled up to the curb moments ago and Jian Yi was tensed, his eye narrowed through the scope. The back door to the car opened and Jian Yi’s finger slid over the trigger.

“Remember, Jian Yi,” Zhan muttered in his ear, sounding as tense as Jian Yi felt, “Quick and simple. Let’s be gone before they notice.”

Jian Yi parted his lips to respond, but a burly man stepped out of the car, and Jian Yi’s finger flexed on the trigger.

#jian yi #he tian #mo guan shan #zhan zheng xi #zhanyi #tianshan #19 days #assassin au #assassins au

[rigonelli]

Hey i absolutely looove your writing its the best!! I was wondering if you could do a prompt where mo and he tain go to a corn maze and maybe get lost or they carve pumpkins since its fall

Guan Shan rounded another corner only to walk right into a dead end.

“Alright, that’s it!” he said. “We’re officially lost.”

He Tian, whose stupid idea it had been in the first place, didn’t seem too worried. He shrugged his shoulders and turned around, pulling Guan Shan by the sleeve to try the next corner.

“I knew this would happen!” Guan Shan ranted. He was sick of seeing nothing but corn. The stalks had grown so high and dense that it was impossible to walk through them. What kind of people went to corn mazes anyway? It was pointless, cold, and no fun. They hadn’t met a single person the whole way through, which made it eerie to boot.

“Don’t worry,” He Tian said, seeing Guan Shan frown. “I took precautions in case this would happen.”

“Why didn’t you say so before? Did you print out the outlines of the maze?”

“No,” He Tian said, smiling. The smile looked more devious than it had to be and Guan Shan knew he wouldn’t like those precautions.

“I came up with a ton of corn puns to pass the time.”

“I hate you so much.”

“I know,” said He Tian, grin widening. “I shuck.”

Guan Shan was tempted to just run away and leave He Tian behind. But he knew that would only result in him wandering lost around the maze all night while He Tian called his brother to come help him out. He Cheng would probably send Qiu with his motorcycle to mow down the corn stalks and Guan Shan couldn’t miss that.

“I hope you’re not fantasizing about kicking me in the nuts with that dreamy expression,” He Tian said.

“No, I’m fantasizing about a prince coming to save me on a black stallion.”

“You’re fantasizing about other people on our first date? That’s corncerning.”

Great, he really meant to go through with it.

“Not a first date!”

“You’re right. We’ve had so many dates, I’ve lost cornt.”

“Not a date, period,” Guan Shan snapped. “Don’t just go around assuming things!”

“I’m not assuming. I asked!” He Tian insisted. “You were asleep, but you snored very affirmingly!”

Guan Shan ground his teeth. He never should have spent the night at He Tian’s. He had always known that something would happen. After all these months he had grown careless. It wasn’t as easy masking one’s feelings in the early morning hours as it was the rest of the day. Guan Shan didn’t remember what he had said in his half-sleep, but ever since, He Tian seemed to know.

“Oops,” said He Tian, staring at the dead end just ahead. “Wrong way again.”

“Maybe we should try that trick with following the right wall,” said Guan Shan.

“Maize well,” He Tian nodded. Guan Shan really felt like punching him.

They went quiet for a while, Guan Shan’s right hand brushing along the corn stalks as they walked. He tried to pay no mind to his other hand, which He Tian had taken in his as if they could get separated at any moment.

“It’s creepy that there’s no one else here,” Guan Shan said after he had failed to ignore their hand-holding.

“I know, right? It feels like we’re being…” He Tian leant over to whisper in his ear, “Stalked!”

Guan Shan had no problem letting go of his hand for that.

“I have a little present for you,” said He Tian, unfazed. He reached inside his jacket pocket and produced a tiny pumpkin. A face was carved in it.

“What am I supposed to do with this? Eat it if we don’t make it out?”

“No,” He Tian said slowly, as if Guan Shan was stupid for not understanding. “I don’t think it’s possible to starve in a corn maze anyway. Did you know you can eat-“

“I’ll punch you!”

“The pumpkin reminded me of you,” said He Tian.

“I can see that. You carved my face into it. I don’t look happy.”

“It’s small, red, and delicious. Like you.”

“It’s also angry. Like me,” Guan Shan said, pointing to his own expression, which He Tian had captured quite realistically.

“So you don’t like it?”

“Why would I like it? It’s a shit present!” Guan Shan ripped the pumpkin from He Tian’s hand, shaking it in He Tian’s face. “Look at that! What am I supposed to do with it? You could have brought a flare gun – that I would have been very thankful for!”

“Really? How thankful exactly?” asked He Tian.

That asshole! If he seriously had a flare gun and not lost a word about it so far, Guan Shan was going to punch him. He pocketed the pumpkin, trying hard to breathe deep and relax. All he wanted right now was to get out of this stupid maze. There was a little restaurant not far from the corn field. They could go and warm up with a cup of hot chocolate and some cake. It was essential that Guan Shan didn’t lose his cool now, if he wanted that little fantasy to become reality.

“I’d be so thankful… that I’ll let you call this a date,” he said through ground teeth.

“It is a date. You can call it whatever you want. What else?”

“I’ll… erm… I’ll…” He could feel his face heat up again. “Hold your hand?”

“Boring,” said He Tian. “We did that five minutes ago. You shouldn’t have spoilt me before.”

“I’ll laugh at your corny jokes!”

“It’s more fun when you hate them.”

“Fuck!” Guan Shan cursed, kicking at a corn stalk. Truth be told, he would do anything to get out of here. Even some things he had tried very hard never to think about – at least when he was awake. He couldn’t really help it when he dreamed. But this… this was a life-and-death situation, wasn’t it? He had no choice. He Tian was practically blackmailing him here.

“You are the lowest of all creatures and I want you to know that I hate you from the bottom of my heart!” Guan Shan said, just before he seized He Tian by the jacket collar, tiptoed, and pecked He Tian on the lips.

When he pulled back, He Tian had turned to stone. It was confusing enough to keep Guan Shan’s head from exploding, at least.

“What?” Guan Shan asked when a minute had passed and He Tian still just stared at him, mouth slightly open, eyes unblinking.

“It’s just… I wouldn’t have expected that action to be followed by those words,” He Tian finally said. His voice sounded a little higher than usual.

“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“I mean… yes?” He Tian said, still looking shocked. “But you never gave me anything I wanted so freely.”

“I didn’t give it freely! You blackmailed me!”

“What? How?”

“The flare gun!” Guan Shan said. “You forced me to be thankful for-“

“I don’t have a- why would I have a flare gun? It was just a rhetorical question.”

“You don’t have a…” Guan Shan turned around and sank to the ground, covering his face with his hands. “Oh my- FUCK!”

Behind him, he could hear He Tian laughing. It sounded more hysterical than anything.

“SHUCK UP!” Guan Shan shouted. He didn’t know why it came out as a pun – maybe it was some kind of defense mechanism. He Tian only laughed more. Guan Shan let him, too busy trying to persuade the ground to open up and swallow him.

After the laughter had trickled away, Guan Shan felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. The right-wall-trick will lead us out sooner or later. And I promise I won’t tell anyone about our little misunderstanding just now. Alright?”

It was a sensible suggestion. More sensible than Guan Shan would have thought He Tian capable of.

“Treat me to hot chocolate when we get out,” Guan Shan said, letting He Tian pull him to his feet. He didn’t protest when He Tian didn’t let go of his hand.

“I’ll treat you to so much hot chocolate that you’ll want to puke.”

“That doesn’t sound very appealing.”

“And when you puke, I’ll hold your hair back for you.”

“There isn’t anything to hold back-“

“And if I’m not mistaken, that thing over there looks like the scarecrow that welcomed us into the maze.”

Guan Shan looked up, and indeed, there was an ugly scarecrow looking at him from the other end of the path.

They had found the exit.

“Oh,” said Guan Shan, slowing down a little. He hadn’t expected to get out so soon.

“What’s wrong?” asked He Tian.

“Nothing. Just… about before…”

Guan Shan turned his head away, hoping he wouldn’t blush too hard.

“You’re really not gonna tell anyone, right?”

“What happens in the maze, stays in the maze,” He Tian promised. “There’s only one thing I’ll tell people if they ask.”

“What’s that?”

He shouldn’t have asked, because the question summoned that grin back onto He Tian’s face. The pun grin.

“That our first date was absolutely A-maize-ing!”

#19 days #old xian #tianshan #tianshan fic #fanfiction #my fics #mo guan shan #he tian #he tian x mo guan shan

[midotakaism]

i hope is not a trouble but do you have any HC where mo guan shan nurse He tian when he's sick? like maybe guan shan come to his apartement to return the jacket and he found out that he tian is sick

it’s no trouble at all, anon, don’t worry!! okay, so, i wrote some general sick headcanons here, but they are pretty old, and this was such a nice idea that i ended up writing a sort of huge scenario for it (because i love my kids and i can never shut up [fingers guns]). so, um, yeah, i hope you enjoy this even if it’s a bit of a mess!! im going to put a read more somewhere because it’s really……long………….. (is anyone even surprised anymore at this point)

okay, so, guan shan wakes up the day after the mess with she li still wearing he tian’s jacket and he feels confused and embarrassed and doesn’t know what to think

he puts the jacket in his bag, determined to give it back one way or the other, but when he arrives at school he tian is nowhere to be seen

he even goes outside his classroom and asks for him, but his classmates (the few who deigned to answer him) tell him he hasn’t showed up that day, and then the talks about the fight with she li start, and everyone speculates about he tian’s absence having something to do with it

guan shan tries not to listen to them and asks jian yi and zheng xi if they know something about he tian, but they both tell him that they’ve last saw him the day before when they left his apartment, and he seemed fine back then

and guan shan is not worried, he isn’t, but he knows what she li is capable of, and even if he tian said that everything was settled and showed that he can take care of himself, there’s still something dark and heavy churning his stomach, tightening it into anxious knots, something that feels a lot like fear

he tries to shake off that sense of dread for the rest of the day, but he can’t help feeling restless, and as soon as school ends he finds himself in front of he tian’s apartment building before he even realises it

he spends a good long while just staring at he tian’s buzzer not knowing what to do, debating with himself whether to ring it or not: he feels stupid at being there, at thinking that something must have happened just because he tian skipped school for a day, he wants to leave and forget about ever being so foolish, but……

when guan shan rings the bell, he blames it on owing he tian a debt for what he did for him the day before (even if he tian didn’t ask anything back for it, even if he implied he would help him again in the future if guan shan needed it…….it’s easier that way rather than trying to understand why he might care, and if it turns out everything is fine, he can just use wanting to give he tian back his jacket as an excuse and then leave like nothing ever happened)

he tian answers after some agonizing long seconds during which guan shan feared the worst, and he is shocked at the sigh of relief and at the way his body relaxes as soon as he hears he tian’s voice

there’s something strange in it, though, something different, and guan shan remains silent, trying to understand what’s wrong with it until he tian tells him that ‘you know i can see you through the camera, right?’

guan shan fumbles with his reply, blushing slightly and feeling ridiculous for being so paranoid, and he tian remains silent for a moment before buzzing him in

guan shan realises what’s wrong as soon as he reaches he tian’s door and sees him leaning heavily against the doorframe: he tian’s cheeks are flushed, but the rest of his face looks pale and worn out, his hair and shirt sticking to his sweaty skin; he’s shivering slightly, and his eyes are glossy, with dark circles under them like bruises

‘you look like shit,’ guan shan says, ‘do you have a fever?’, and he moves to check he tian’s temperature with his hand, but he tian turns his head, telling him that he is fine

(because here’s the thing, he tian hates being sick, it makes him weak and vulnerable, and he doesn’t want anyone to see him like that. the only reason he let guan shan in is because…..well, because it’s guan shan, and part of him just wanted to see him and make sure he was okay)

guan shan doesn’t know this, though, and he feels like an idiot, asking himself what the fuck he’s even doing, so he takes out he tian’s jacket from his bag and hands it to him, saying that he just came to give it back

he tian tells him that he could have kept it, and guan shan is like ‘why would i want to do that’, to which he tian replies 'no reason, i guess’

he goes to take his jacket from guan shan, but when he moves he sways forward, and guan shan’s arms shoot up instinctively to catch him

he tian feels hot under his hands and is shaking visibly now, coughing any time he takes a deep breath

'fine, my ass,’ guan shan says, and he drags he tian inside, making him sit on the couch and putting his hand on he tian’s forehead

(guan shan’s hand is cold and feels very nice against he tian’s skin, and he tian can’t help but lean into the touch with a sigh)

guan shan asks him if he took some medicine to low his temperature, and when he tian tries to say again that he is fine, guan shan reminds him that just the day before he tian was the one telling him that he shouldn’t shoulder everything by himself, so he should just shut up and let guan shan help him

that makes he tian smile a little, and he says that guan shan has poor bedside manners, but after that he becomes way more cooperative

guan shan checks the cut on his hand to see that the wound is not infected, then he asks he tian again if he has taken some medicine (he hasn’t), if there is any medicine in the apartment (only a box of expired aspirin), and if he ate anything since yesterday (he didn’t)

he sends he tian to take a shower and change out from those sweaty clothes (and he knows he tian doesn’t feel well because he makes no comment at that), grumbling all the while at how hopeless he tian is but still keeping an ear out for him

by the time he tian stumbles out from the bathroom, clean and dressed in warm clothes, guan shan has already changed the sheets and pillowcases on he tian’s bed, cleaned the room, opened the window to let it air out, and had a load of laundry ready to go

guan shan realises only at a second look that he tian is wearing the jacket he just gave him back, and for some reason he feels his cheeks heat up as he tells he tian that he should wash that, but he tian just shrugs, saying that it’s warm

guan shan knows it is, can still feel it wrapped around him, smelling like he tian,and that just makes him blush even more, so he shakes his head, trying to clear it from those thoughts

he makes he tian lie down in bed again, covering him with two blankets, and he asks him if he has a pair of spare keys, so he won’t have to get up to let him in again

when guan shan comes back from buying medicine and some groceries, he tian is sleeping, so he sets on warning his mom and cooking some soup, desperately trying not to think about why is he doing this

he tian wakes up some time later because of a coughing fit, still looking awful, so guan shan makes him eat some soup with crackers and orange juice, and gives him some medicine to drink

he tian makes a face at it and guan shan tells him to stop being a baby, but he has to admit he’s starting to get a bit worried

he helps he tian sitting on the couch while they wait for the medicine to work,but when he tries to step back he tian refuses to let him go and drags him down on it too, resting his head on guan shan’s lap

guan shan sputters, blushing furiously and asking he tian what the hell is he doing

he tian mumbles something about his head hurting and letting him stay like that for a minute, and he sounds so terrible that guan shan doesn’t have the heart to push him away, so he just……stays there…….completely frozen, not sure where to put his hands

in the end he sets one on he tian’s head and one on his shoulder, awkwardly stroking his hair in what he hopes is a soothing way any time he tian has a coughing fit

after a while guan shan feels he tian’s body relax and his breath getting deeper, so he keeps doing that until he tian stirs awake a couple of hours later

guan shan asks him how is he feeling, and he tian says better, adding that it’s late and guan shan should probably go home, that he can take care of himself now

he tian does look a bit better, but guan shan feels reluctant to leave him all alone when his fever is still high, so he tells he tian that he’s going to leave after he falls asleep

he tian just nods and goes back to bed, burying himself under the blankets and looking small and young for the first time since guan shan met him

guan shan brushes he tian’s sweaty hair away from his forehead without really realising it, and when he moves his hand away he tian grabs his wrist gently, staring at him with and intensity that makes guan shan shiver

'stay,’ he tian whispers, and guan shan doesn’t know what it means, doesn’t know what he tian wants from him, he just knows that everything he thought he knew about him was wrong, and this….whatever it is……..this is dangerous, and he should just turn around and walk away, but there’s a strange ache in his chest, and all he can do is whispering back 'im not going anywhere’

he tian searches his face, and guan shan is not sure what he is looking for or if he finds it, but after a moment he lets him go and sinks back into the mattress with a sigh, closing his eyes and falling asleep immediately

when he tian wakes up the next morning, still with a cough but feeling way better than the day before, he is disappointed to find out that guan shan being there was just a dream

or at least he believes that until he gets up and finds guan shan asleep on the couch, curled up under a blanket

he tian just stares at him, fighting the impulse to touch him, to prove to himself that this is real

guan shan wakes up soon after to the smell of coffee and when he walks into the kitchen he finds he tian there, with a cup ready for him

guan shan accepts it, feeling incredibly awkward, and he asks he tian how he feels, to which he tian smirks and replies 'better, thanks to my nurse’

guan shan blushes and glares at him, and yeah, he tian is definitely better, and he has no idea what possessed him last night to make him decide to stay, now he’s never going to hear the end of it

he leaves for school some time later, reminding he tian to keep himself hydrated and take his medicine, and he says to himself that he is not running away, but he sure as hell feels like it

he is about to walk away when he feels a gentle brush against his arm, and when he turns around he tian is looking at him with the same intensity as the night before

'thank you,’ he tian says, then he is stepping back into the apartment and closing the door, leaving guan shan standing there, his heart beating wildly against his chest

#ask #anon #this took me way too long to write and it's still all over the place #i don't even know if i made them too OOC #sigh #anyway sorry for the late reply anon!! #i hope you're going to have a wonderful day!! #tianshan headcanons

[clwords]

Day 4 - Dark / Day 5 - Seeking Solace

He didn't know what to do. He thought about crying, but that wasn't gonna help him honestly, and he'd already done more than enough of it. So he just sat there in silence as the stupid heart monitor continued to remind him that he was still alive. In a way, Mo Guan Shan was thankful for it, as he had no other way of truly making sure he was anymore. But on the other hand, he just wanted to be dead. Wanted everything to be over. He certainly didn't want to continue living now that his eyes had been burned out of his head. Mo Guan Shan had been walking home from school, the same way he always had, when something began to feel...off. The street he was walking on was dead empty except for the occasional stray cat or bird, so he dismissed this feeling quickly and continued on his path. When he reached the end of the lonely street, he turned a corner and then he realized his mistake. She Li was leaning up against a building directly in front of him. The boy didn't even look up from his phone when he smiled and beckoned for his stupid followers. They were big, and had no problem overtaking the redhead in a second. One from behind and one from his side. He never had a chance, really. He struggled and fought as hard as he could, but it didn't make a difference. She Li was walking, no strutting towards him. He was enjoying seeing the angry boy squirm as he was pinned to the ground, left watching his attack come closer and closer, knowing there was nothing he could o or say to get out of this situation. Guan Shan was prey, and She Li was predator. He felt powerless. He stopped struggling after a few minutes. He knew no one was going to come rescue him. "Are you done throwing a fit?" asked She Li, squatting down in front of him. He stayed silent. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "Hm. I understand, really. Who would want to pinned down by someone who wasn't there boyfriend, right?" "He Tian is not-!" "Oh! So you can speak up! I'm glad. Though, I am a bit jealous that He Tian is the only one that can make you do it." Guan Shan turned his head away, fighting tears that were threatening to fall down his face in a mix of fear and embarrassment. He didn't want to think about He Tian. He didn't know what to make of him. One day he was hitting him, then the next he was defending him from She Li. "You know, I bet I can get you to speak up baby." "Fuck you." "Haha, not quite what I had in mind. You see, I can't get off unless I just know the person I'm with is in a lot of pain. Kinda like He Tian, yeah?" "He's nothing like you," murmured Guan Shan, voice beginning to shake without his permission. "Ehhh, I don't think so. Oh well! Doesn't matter! Agree to disagree? We have to get on with this. I don't have all day, and I'm sure you don't either, so lets get this over with already." Mo Guan Shan turned to watch the man in front of him. He thought he knew what was gonna happen to him. He thought he was gonna be raped, and he was thankful that that wasn't the case as he noticed none of the three boys surrounding him made any effort to remove his clothes. This relief faded immediately, as She Li finally stopped rummaging through his bad and oulled out the liquid he had been looking for. The struggling began again. Guan Shan yanked and pulled and kicked and bit but nothing worked. They didn't let him go, they only doubled their efforts in holding the smaller boy down. Tears were no longer being held in. His face was wet and he was beginning to sob. He opened his mouth to scream, but it was quickly covered by She Li's hand. "Hush! I'll take my hand off since you look like you have something to say to me, but if you scream, then I'll use that chance to pour this down your throat. Got it?" Mo Guan Shan nodded furiously, and the other boy lifted his hand as promised. "P-please She Li! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please don't! I'll do anything! Please!" "Listen baby. I have nothing against you, really I don't. You were very obedient and listened to me well. However, the problem lies in your stupid ass boyfriend. You see my bruises and wounds don't you? My face is all messed up now. So, since I can't let He Tian have the upper hand, and nothing I do to him is gonna phase him too bad, I figured that you were the best way to get to him. Am I wrong?" "Y-you..." Mo Guan Shan didn't know what to say. If he said he was wrong, he'd go after He Tian. He didn't want that. He'd done so much for him already. Protected him, gave him friends and a place to stay when he needed it. It was his turn to protect He Tian now. Guan Shan stopped moving, prepared for whatever was coming. "Alright, now that you have calmed down for us, we can get on with it. Don't worry, we won't kill you. We aren't monsters. We're just gonna get rid of something unnecessary. Before we start, is there anything you want to see? There won't be any chance afterwards." "Y-yes. My phone is in my front pocket. Can I please see the photos of my contacts?" "I think that should be fine," answered She Li. He took the phone out of Guan Shan's pants, unlocking it after asking for the passcode and went to his contacts. There weren't many. Six in all. He tapped on each picture and held it in front of Guan Shan's face, allowing him ample time to remember each face as best he could. Mo Guan Shan just cried. The faces passed him to quickly, he thought. His mom was first. She was so beautiful, and he would never see her again. Just the thought of it hurt. Then was his cousin, who he hadn't talked to in years but who had been like a friend to him at family reunions and when they were children. A classmate of his was next. He wasn't close to him or anything, but they kept each other from being alone most of the time. Then was Jian Yi, who had put his own number in a couple of days ago when they were together. Jian Yi was a friend. Mo Guan Shan thought that felt good to say. He was pretty. Soft features and long hair and stupid grins. He understood why Zhan Zheng Xi protected him. Zheng Xi was next, and he thought how strange it was that ha never smiled in photos. He was very kind, still. Another friend. One he thought he could trust, despite having hospitlaized him only a few days prior. He felt so awful about it, but he figured what was coming to him would serve as some retribution. He moved on to the last contact. He didn't want to see this one, but at the same time he was desperate to remember this face. He Tian was good to him, in the end. It took him a while to figure out Mo Guan Shan, but eventually he came to understand him a little better. He Tian had protected him from She Li. He did everything he could to make the world safer for him. He cared about Guan Shan. He was a friend that he could be himself around. He had cried in front of He Tian, because of He Tian. He had felt so much because of this boy. He gave him something that no one else had. There was meaning and purpose in his life when He Tian was with him. He felt alive because of him. The small picture of him smiling in his signature devilish way was so lovely. He was there with Mo Guan Shan. He was still protecting him, and Mo Guan Shan felt a little bit more relaxed now. He would remember that face. The phone was taken away and stuffed back into his pocket. "Now. It's time okay?" She Li said. "Yeah." "This is gonna hurt a lot." She Li straddled Guan Shan's lap. The redhead could feel him get harder as he undid the top of the bottle and fill a dropper with the liquid inside. He didn't want to know exactly what was inside it; he already knew what it would do to him. The tears welled up again in Mo Guan Shan's eyes. She Li rubbed himself through his jeans when he saw it. The boy underneath him was disgusted but stayed motionless as She Li stopped touching himself and began to grind his hips down onto his chest. The dropper was lifted from the bottle and the excess liquid was tapped off on the rim of the bottle. The grinding became faster. She Li moved his hand toward Guan Shan's left eye. His hand simply hovered over the eye. He continued his motion with his hips. He was panting but finally stopped long enough to lower the dropper and push the eyelids back. Three drops. He had never screamed so loudly. One, there was fire. Two, he was in hell. Three, hell went dark. The same was repeated for the other eye. He didn't hear the three boys leave. He didn't feel them release him. He only felt the burning. He saw nothing. He kept screaming. He went deaf. He was moving. The world was going by quickly. His eyes were wet. Soaked. There was water everywhere. There was yelling. It wasn't his own. The car stopped. He was rushed into a building. The water was everywhere. The fire was only embers. The fire was hot ash. The fire was dead. The beeping was incessant. He hated it. Mo Guan Shan was sat up in his hospital bed, seeing nothing. He pressed the button he had been told was for getting his nurse's attention. He counted how long it took. "Hello, did you call for me?" came the deep voice of the man who had been taking care of him. Fourty-eight seconds. "Sorry, I got thirsty. Could you hand me some water?" replied Guan Shan. The man sighed like he was tired of him already. "Sure." The water was lukewarm. Figures, Guan Shan thought. He turned the TV on so something could drown out the beeping. He continued pressing buttons on the remote until he found the two that changed the channel. He tried to focus on something, but any program he found couldn't keep his attention. Things were significantly less entertaining when you couldn't see them. Why? he thought. "Why is this happening? Why me?" The tears came again. They burned, but nothing would ever hurt like he did the night before. Before he knew it he was sobbing. He felt the tears run down his face. His body shook and the world was still dark. He turned the TV up and grabbed the pillow from behind his head. Nobody heard him screaming. Nobody ever heard. The door opened slowly, and the creaking wasn't enough to catch Mo Guan Shan's attention as he continued to scream and cry and curse into the fabric. "Mo Guan Shan?" came a small voice from the door. He still didn't hear. "Hey, Mo Guan Shan. Are you okay? Guan Shan! HEY!" Mo Guan Shan stopped as he caught the last bit of what the voice was saying. "Hello? Is someone there?" he asked, leaning up and wiping his face. "Oh God. Guan Shan I'm so sorry." The voice was only a few feet away from him, and sounded familiar. He recognized him. Guan Shan lowered his head in embarrassment. He was right beside him, and he couldn't tell. "He Tian it's not your fault." "I should have been there, I'm so sorry. I-" "I said it's not your fucking fault!" snapped Guan Shan. "...you're angry at me." "No, He Tian. I'm not angry. I just want you to stop saying it's your fault," he sighed. "It's not. It was my choice." "What do you mean your 'choice'?" Mo Guan Shan knew what his reaction was going to be. He didn't want to hear it. "He told me I was the best way to get to you. I knew that if I said I wasn't, he would probably do something to you. You've protected me so much already He Tian. Don't say that this is your fault. Please." He Tian was silent save for his quiet crying. He just stood there. He was too far away. "Hey, He tian?" "Yeah?" "Could you sit down please?" Mo Guan Shan asked softly. "Sure, of course," he replied. He sat down on the very edge of the hospital bed. "He Tian?" "Um, yeah?" "Could you maybe scoot a bit closer to me? I haven't had any real human contact other than the nurses and doctors, and I'd really like to be able to feel that you're with me right now," he said nervously. He didn't want to be so honest, but the words just came out. "Y-yeah I can do that." He Tian moved back beside Mo Guan Shan. He had to turn at an awkward angle to fit his shoulders at the top of the bed, but he made it work. Guan Shan moved to the side of the bed so that it would be easier for He Tian to sit beside him. Finally they settled in beside each other. It was cramped, but for Guan Shan it was the most comfortable he had felt in a while. "Is this fine?" He Tian asked. "Yeah this is fine. Thank you He Tian." "You're welcome. Are you okay?" "I'm okay. Nothing is ever gonna hurt more than that did," he replied. "I'm so sorry... Can you see anything at all?" He Tian asked sadly. "No. Everything is dark. I can't see a thing. I hate it." He Tian kept quiet. How was he supposed to respond to that? There was a pause. "TV sucks now," Guan Shan said in an attempt to make himself or his companion laugh. He Tian gave a sympathy chuckle and Mo Guan Shan faked a giggle. Nothing helped. He leaned his head onto He Tian's shoulder. He was tired of this. "He Tian I'm so scared. I can't see anything. I'm scared of the dark and now that's all I can see. The world is gone. I can't remember a lot of it already. I want to see it again. I want to be able to see you again." He squeezed He Tian's arm and he could feel the tears fall down his face and onto the other boy's shirt. "Mo Guan Shan? I'm here, okay? I can always be there for you, if you want me. I'll watch over you and I'll tell you about what's going on around you. The world isn't gone. I'll protect you, okay?" Mo Guan Shan was shaking. "I can't ask that of you He Tian. You're a good friend, but I'm not gonna make you stay with me forever. I'm not gonna do that to you," he replied, voice hoarse from the crying and trying to keep it all in. "Do you really think that that's what you are to me?" He Tian asked, not believing him. "That's right. I thought we were friends," a feeling of dread came over him suddenly. "Was I wrong He Tian?" Mo Guan Shan was scared he was about to lose one of the only people he thought had ever cared for him, all because he misunderstood something. Had he really thought that He Tian liked him? Wanted to be friends with him? He was stupid. Of course he didn't. No one ever really did. He was too mean. Too angry. He was so happy when he thought he had someone like He Tian to be friends with, even if that friendship wasn't perfect. He was happy. "You were wrong." His heart broke. It was all over. Nothing mattered anymore. "Yeah, I figured," replied Mo Guan Shan, choking on his words. "Can you just go?" "No. I need to explain. I never thought of us as friends." "I understand! Just leave! Please! There's nothing to explain," he was sobbing again. "Guan Shan! Shut up!" Suddenly, his face was grabbed by He Tian. He felt lips press against his own. They were so soft. They were gone far too soon after they first touched his own. "I love you. I really, really love you, Mo Guan Shan. You should know that by now." The redhead couldn't think of a single thing to say. He just reached back up to grab He Tian's face. He had to feel for it, but he took his time exploring his features. He ran his finger over his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, until finally he touched his lips. He wished so badly to be able to see him. Tears threatened to flow once more, so he quickly leaned in to kiss him again before they had the chance to make their appearance. This kiss was just as warm. Warm and soft. Comforting and everything Guan Shan never knew he needed. He Tian deepened the kiss, moving his position on the bed so he was leaning over Mo Guan Shan. He wanted this moment to be as nice as possible for him, and he was determined not to cause Guan Shan any discomfort. "I love you Guan Shan. I love you so much," he said, breaking away from the kiss to repeat himself. "Idiot. I know that now," he replied. They continued their show of affection, and He Tian was the first to push the boundaries. He pressed his thumb to Guan Shan's mouth, prying apart his lips before covering them with his own once more. He pushed his tongue into the smaller boy's mouth, hearing him moan as he did so. They pushed against each other, neither able to get enough from the other. They were panting against one another, and Guan Shan was thoroughly distracted from the previous night's horrors. He could only focus on the tongue in his mouth, the teeth on his lips, the heat between the two of them. The world was dizzy, but it was there. He Tian was making him feel so alive, like he always had. He didn't know what else this could be if not love. "He Tian..." he panted as the boy on top of him began to lick and suck and bit his neck. "Fuck! More!" "That'll have to wait I'm afraid," said a voice that was neither of the two painfully horny boys on the bed. "Hello again. You were a bit out of it the first time we met, but I'm your primary doctor." Mo Guan Shan, being the poor and embarrassed boy he is, pushed He Tian to the other side of the bed and pulled the blanket up over him just in case he was a bit more obvious downstairs than he had realized. "I won't say anything too harsh, but please refrain from having any intercourse as it might disturb the other patients, ruin our equipment, or hurt the injured participant," she said a bit too casually. Mo Guan Shan was mortified and was surprisingly relieved by the fact that he couldn't exactly see the doctor or the situation he had gotten himself in. "Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm in here, since you probably don't remember what I told you when I left the first time, but the test results are back." "Wait, what tests? I thought what happened and what the result is was pretty obvious," Guan Shan replied. "I'm blind now right?" "Well, probably not. Luckily, you received care relatively quickly and the person that brought you here knew what to do in the situation. He washed your eyes out with water for the entire ride here, then got some more when he got you here and continued until we could get you into the room and flush the liquid out properly." "Oh... Did you find out who he was? Or see what he looked like?" He Tian replied, while Guan Shan held tight to his hand as he was processing that he might not go blind after all. "Sorry, I didn't find out a name. He left as quick as he got here. I did get a glance at him though. He looked a bit like you, honestly. Had a big scar on his neck. Scary looking fella, but I suppose he was nice enough considering what he did for your friend. He also handed Guan Shan's phone to one of my nurses so she could contact any emergency numbers. That's when she called his mom and you." He Tian was shocked. He didn't think the guy would ever do something so nice for him, especially not now. Guan Shan looked a little embarrassed at the phone number revelation, but he still had unanswered questions. "Wait, but I was definitely out there for a few minutes before he got there. Wouldn't that have done a lot of damage?" Guan Shan asked. "Well, whoever the sick fuck is that did this, he apparently didn't want to hurt you too bad. The bleach was greatly watered down, and seeing how only a small amount was applied to each eye, the effect wasn't nearly what it could have been," she explained. Mo Guan Shan shuttered at the idea that something could have hurt any more than what he felt. Still, he was relieved. "So you're gonna hurt for a long time, maybe for a few weeks straight, but it shouldn't be permanent as long as you're safe and careful. I'm very happy for you. You're too young to be going through this, Guan Shan. I recommend you go to the police as well whoever did this will be out of your life for good, I'm sure of it." "Thank you so much. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you..." Guan Shan spoke, beginning to cry yet again. "You're welcome dear. And, He Tian?" she said. "Yeah?" "Take care of him," she ordered as she shut the door. Suddenly, she opened the door back up and spoke again. "Just not too much, got it?" "Of course," he replied, laughing. "He Tian." "Yes?" "I'm gonna be able to see you again," Guan Shan murmured through his tears. "Yes." "I love you, He Tian." "Yes. Me too. I love you, Guan Shan," he replied. It was his turn to cry. "We'll be alright He Tian." He placed a kiss to the shaky hand he was holding. "We're okay." He Tian closed the door to the hospital room slowly. His phone was vibrating and he didn't want to wake up Guan Shan. Plus, he needed to stretch his legs after sitting for so long. He was walking through the long and empty hallway when he opened the message he'd received. UNKNOWN NUMBER i made your boy scream louder than you ever could ;) Fuck.

#mo guan shan #he tian #she li #old xian #fanfic #19 days #tianshan #violence #rape mention #nsfw-ish

[rigonelli]

If you’re still doing writing prompts can you do one where the boys go to a haunted house or something. Like maybe He Tian And Mo Guan Shan get separated from Jian and Zhan

„Where the hell did they go?”

Mo Guan Shan’s voice was little more than a squeak. Just a minute ago, he had held on to Jian Yi’s hand, but then a skeleton falling out of the ceiling had scared them apart and they had both run in different directions – Guan Shan pulling He Tian along with him.

“I don’t know. Maybe we’re the ones taking the wrong route,” He Tian shrugged. Haunted houses couldn’t really scare him. And he wasn’t that sad about having gotten separated from Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi, especially since he had it all planned beforehand with Jian Yi.

“Stop grinning like that!” Guan Shan bellowed. “You’re scarier than most of the monsters in here!”

For a moment He Tian had had doubts that their plan would work. He just wanted to spend some alone-time with Guan Shan, hold his hand throughout it all and play the hero. But then it had looked like Guan Shan wasn’t afraid of the poorly costumed monsters and the flickering lights. Luckily that mask had fallen pretty quickly. The first jump scare had him almost wet his pants and He Tian’s ears were still ringing from all the shrieking.

“Yet I don’t hear you squeak, dear little Mo!”

“I don’t do that!” Guan Shan insisted. “Jian Yi’s voice… echoes.”

“I can practically see your heart trying to jump out of your chest,” He Tian said. They were nearing the next door – everything had been quiet in the room they were in, so the next one surely had some kind of surprise.

“I’m just steeling myself for what’s to come,” said Guan Shan. “Don’t tell me you’re not even a little bit nervous!”

“Chill as a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice, my dear,” He Tian said and breezily opened the door. He was ready for everything.

Everything except Freddy Krueger standing right in the doorway, giving a cheery, “Hello!” while his knife-hand stretched out to claw him open.

He Tian must have blanked out for a second, because the next time he blinked, the figure was gone and instead, Guan Shan next to him was screaming.

“Are you fucking crazy?” Guan Shan yelled. “That’s not ‘chill’! Your bottle of champagne just exploded!”

Only then did He Tian realize that his hand hurt. He looked down to where the flickering lights exposed an unconscious body on the floor, knives strewn everywhere.

He had punched Freddy Krueger right in the face.

“We’re in so much trouble!” Guan Shan moaned. “They clearly instructed us not to hurt the actors!”

“Well, they know what they’re getting themselves into!” He Tian objected. “And why was he standing right in the door? Punching is a natural reaction for many people.”

“He may be dead!”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“He looks dead!”

He Tian carefully stepped over the figure on the floor to look around the room. There did not seem to be anyone else stationed here, luckily.

“Let’s get him out of the way. Quick, before anyone else comes this way,” he said, reaching for Freddy’s arms. Guan Shan looked at him as if He Tian had asked him to get rid of a body. He clearly wanted to protest. But in the end, he didn’t say a word, just bent down to take Freddy’s legs and help carry him over to a door in the wall that looked like it could belong to a broom closet.

Guan Shan probably would help getting rid of a body, He Tian realized. He was kind of a loyal soul. So romantic.

The doors actually turned out to belong to a built-in closet, although it was completely empty. Even better.

“I’m sure he’ll come around quickly,” He Tian said. “Probably gets punched once a day. Who knows – maybe he likes it.”

“We can’t just leave him here! We should at least make sure he’s okay!” Guan Shan insisted. They propped Freddy up against a corner and He Tian was just about to shake him when they heard a sound from the next door.

“Shit!” Guan Shan panicked. “Someone’s going to come in here!”

“Shhh! Just be quiet. I doubt they’ll look in here.”

He Tian quickly pulled the closet doors closed – just in time. They could hear a group of people entering from where they themselves had just come from. Nervous whispers and little shrieks sounded through the room. They had obviously expected to be scared and didn’t trust the quiet. He Tian was almost tempted to jump out of the closet. He managed to hold back, though – Guan Shan holding on to his jacket from behind and their general closeness was too good to give up on. Soon enough, the group in the room had gathered the courage to move on.

“That was close!” Guan Shan whispered shakily. “Let’s just get out of here. We can send an anonymous ambulance to get Freddy.”

“I doubt that will be necessary,” said He Tian, reaching for the doorknob. “Besides, we have bigger problems than that right now.”

“What? What kind of problems?”

He Tian gave the knob another good shake.

“We seem to have locked ourselves in,” he said.

Guan Shan punched him right in the gut.

“Stop joking around!” he screeched again. “It’s not funny!”

“I’m serious!” He Tian gasped. “Why the fuck did you punch me?”

“I don’t know! Why don’t you ask poor Freddy what that feels like?” Guan Shan yelled. If He Tian thought he was being too loud, Guan Shan quickly demonstrated that he had been wrong. With no warning whatsoever, he started to scream like he was being skinned alive.

The screech was echoed from outside the closet. Another group must have just walked through the room.

“It’s a shrieking closet!” a panicked voice yelled from the other side, then the sound of scurrying feet could be heard and it was quiet again.

He Tian couldn’t have cared less that they had just announced their presence. Guan Shan had thrown himself into his arms, pushing him against the far end of the closet wall. He was shivering.

“Freddy… he just moved! I swear, I just felt his knife at my legs!” Guan Shan whined. “Punch him again! Or he’ll cut us open in revenge!”

“I’m sure you just imagined it,” whispered He Tian. His voice didn’t go any louder than a whisper anymore. Guan Shan was so close, He Tian was talking into his hair. He could feel Guan Shan’s breath on his skin – even his lips were pressed against He Tian’s neck. Everything was dark and his whole world consisted of nothing but Guan Shan.

“I’ll protect you,” He Tian promised, putting his arms around Guan Shan’s shivering body. This was just like the time when He Tian had taken him out to that fancy restaurant. He still didn’t know what had happened for Guan Shan to have that kind of reaction, but it was clearly some sort of trauma. And He Tian, with his stupid plan, had awakened that trauma for the second time now. Why did he always have to be such an asshole?

“Shhhh, I’m here,” he whispered, unsure of what to do. He hated himself a little for enjoying the feeling of having Guan Shan pressed against him so closely. This was not a good moment for him. Guan Shan was genuinely upset and afraid. His body wouldn’t stop shivering and he seemed to be hyperventilating.

“I’m here… I’m here,” He Tian repeated helplessly. There was nothing he could do except hold him tight and draw soothing circles across Guan Shan’s back.

It took a while, but it seemed to work in the end. Guan Shan’s breath calmed down, his body relaxed in He Tian’s arms. They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. Outside of the closet, groups of people continuously went through, shrieking and crying at nothing. He Tian didn’t care about them. Or the unconscious actor lying next to them. Or the fact that they were locked in a small, pitch-black closet.

All he could think about was Guan Shan’s arms holding him close. The scent of his hair, the rhythm of his breath finally relaxing, the touch of his lips still brushing He Tian’s neck.

There was a hitch in Guan Shan’s breathing, barely noticeable, but since it was all that He Tian could concentrate on right now, it wasn’t missed. Then another one. He Tian started to panic. What if there was a second panic attack coming? What if it was worse?

Guan Shan’s head moved a little. At least he wasn’t shivering – in fact, he seemed to stiffen. Then his face pressed into He Tian’s neck again. Lips moving. Away. Then back, right under his jaw.

It was almost embarrassing how long it took He Tian to realize that those weren’t spastic reactions of fear. That they were purposeful. Caresses. Kisses.

Guan Shan was… they were…

He Tian couldn’t help a sound escaping his throat. It was simply too much. First, they had hugged so close for so long. For longer than He Tian had ever dared to dream. But it had been wrong nonetheless, not the kind of connection he had looked for all those years. He would take what he could get, of course – he always had. But this… this was…

“Mo,” he gasped, suddenly feeling like he was about to have a panic attack of his own. A good one, if something like that even existed. An attack of absolute ecstasy.

Guan Shan obviously didn’t plan for him to speak, though. He Tian’s mouth was closed by a pair of lips. Not just closed – practically locked shut. He Tian didn’t feel like ever letting go again. Heat coiled in his stomach. His hands slipped under Guan Shan’s sweater. He needed more of it; the heat, the touch, the feeling.

Every time he had touched Guan Shan, every arm around the shoulders, every lean against him, every mock-fight, every rare hug – he had always thought that just a little more of it would bring him some kind of release. But now he realized that it would never have been enough. Even now, all he could think was more, more!

And he knew that Guan Shan would always have something to give, even if he didn’t give it easily. He Tian was happy to play by his rules. If Guan Shan needed to not hear and not see to give this much – if he needed to be able to ascribe it all to a weak moment, to not having been himself – if he needed to walk out of this closet and pretend like it had never happened – then He Tian was glad about it, because getting more would have driven him crazy anyway. He had never known it was possible to feel this much. He was lucky Guan Shan was pressing him against the wall, because his knees had given up a long time ago. He would have sunk to the floor right then and there. And he was lucky Guan Shan kept his mouth occupied, because he didn’t know what kind of words would have come out of it, but a marriage proposal would have probably been the least pathetic thing.

There was no way this moment could ever end. Nothing could have come between them right now. But there was also no way this could go any further, because He Tian already felt like exploding.

He was saved, in a way, when a voice piped up right next to them, saying, “That’s fucking gross!”

Suddenly, the world was empty. Guan Shan was gone. He had whipped around with a drawn-out scream and, from the sounds of it, roundhouse-kicked the freshly awakened Freddy Krueger right in the head.

He Tian was too soon to be impressed, because next, Guan Shan kicked the closet door open. It wasn’t a clean exit. The closet door was made of some very thin and somewhat damp wood and his foot just kicked a hole in it. From there, he started to tear pieces of wood away, emerging from the closet like an alien out of someone’s intestines, scaring a bunch of hapless teenagers for life.

They all ran away in different directions, hopefully not resulting in a repeat of what He Tian and Guan Shan had just gone through.

Guan Shan crawled out of the closet hole and simply collapsed on the floor, screaming so long and loud that the room would probably stay empty for a while. It sounded like he screamed out all the bottled-up feelings from what had just happened in the closet.

He Tian carefully followed out of the hole and sat down next to him. It was hard to keep from touching him – even just a hand on the shoulder.

Finally, Guan Shan stopped screaming. His chest raised and sank in heavy breaths, until he suddenly shot up into a sitting position. For some reason he seemed furious.

“I know that voice!” he growled, getting up on his feet.

He Tian was about to ask what he meant, but Guan Shan was already pulling the closet door open and looking down at the sorry heap of Krueger on the floor.

“I better be wrong!”

He wrenched the mask off Krueger’s face. Immediately, a crown of white curls fell over Freddy’s face, as if trying to hide it, but there was no doubt about Freddy’s true identity.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” He Tian spat, getting up to stand next to Guan Shan and look down at She Li’s purple face in disgust.

“No wonder your first instinct was to punch,” said Guan Shan.

“I can’t believe you felt sorry for him.”

“Well, you didn’t punch hard enough. I corrected that mistake.”

He Tian threw him a proud look. “And to think that they would let someone like him work here…,” he said.

“Knowing She Li, he probably sneaked in here himself. Those knives looked awfully real.”

He Tian agreed. “I guess we don’t have to worry about getting scolded anymore.”

“Right,” said Guan Shan and closed the closet door. “Especially since no one will find him for a while.”

And then, to He Tian’s great surprise, Guan Shan took his hand and nodded towards the exit door, acting like nothing weird had happened at all.

“The others are probably gonna call a search and rescue team if we don’t find them soon. Ready?”

“How can I be ready if I haven’t even made a joke about your way of coming out of the closet yet?” He Tian said.

He was pulled out of the room by a red-faced and fuming Guan Shan, but he couldn’t stop laughing.

And Guan Shan never let go of his hand.

(Somehow these fics always turn into them bonding over being mean to She Li :’D Sorry to anyone who likes him…)

#19 days #old xian #he tian #mo guan shan #he tian x mo guan shan #fanfiction #tianshan fic #tianshan #my fics