#definitely-nope

[aurumacadicus]

8? And please be happy🤞

"You're jealous, aren't you?"

Steve didn't turn from where he was staring out at the vast gardens behind the Stark mansion. He'd seen everyone's eyes dart to him after he'd shattered a champagne glass in his hand and then quickly dart away. Of course he was jealous. Everyone had been able to see it.

Everyone but Tony.

"If Tony had his way, he wouldn't have to put up with this yearly knot market," Jim said, stepping up beside him. He leaned his arms on the balcony railing and sighed, dropping his head so he could stretch his shoulders. "But, his parents came from a different time. His mom came from a different culture. And his board of directors thinks he needs to be controlled. So, he has to have these yearly courting balls if he wants to stay on everyone's good side."

"I thought things would have changed by now," Steve muttered darkly.

"Things have changed," Jim answered. "Tony has more rights now than he did when his parents died. Most of that is because he funded all the groups fighting for them. If he was anyone but Tony Stark, he could probably stop." He turned to give Steve a sharp look. "But he isn't. He's Tony Stark. People expect things from him. His yearly courting ball is on par with the Met Gala. Even if he got married, he'd still have to throw these stupid things."

Steve huffed, scowling. "It's still not right. Tony's a person, not a piece of meat."

Jim somehow looked even more annoyed. "Then fucking do something about it, Steve. He's been waiting for the right alpha for fucking decades."

"Why would he want me?" Steve asked, even as he stood up straight at the thought that Tony just might.

"Probably," Jim ground out, scowling at him. "Because you're not one of those alphas dogging him inside."

Steve blinked at him, mouth dropping open a little. Tony had always bitterly complained about many alphas following him around just for a chance at controlling something about him--his money, his company, his body. They wanted things about him, never the whole.

Steve wanted everything about him. But if he couldn't have it, he'd be okay just having Tony's heart.

"Was he waiting for me?" Steve asked, just to be sure.

Jim leaned back against the balcony and crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow at him somehow... smugly? "I think Tony was waiting for someone who wondered if he'd be enough, instead of all those people who assumed they were."

Steve turned and headed for the door, not willing to wait a moment longer with the confirmation he'd gotten. Tony had waited long enough.

Besides. He didn't think he'd be allowed another drink if he kept breaking glasses in jealous frustration.

#aurumacadicus answers #definitely-nope #1-161 stony ficlet challenge #stony #omegaverse

[fence-time]

Magic mountain doodles :3

#fence posts #grian #geminitay #skizzleman #goodtimeswithscar #impulsesv #mumbo jumbo #smallishbeans #hermitcraft #hermitblr #magic mountain #mmmmmm sure…. :3 that definitely won’t get confused with magical mountain… #nope #:3!

[ksilberne]

"I'm not a Geshin artist" as I draw more Wriothesley

He's fun to draw for.... reasons :)

#Genshin Impact #Wriothesley #not OC art #DisArt #Fanart #yeah definitely not an obvious reason I like him #nope #not at all #smiley face

[sunydays]

@somerandomdudelmao I has a gift! I went the more dream/memory route of the chapter (which I could not finish in TIME) the poem

But yeah, have some sadness.

Master Post

Bonus

#rottmnt #rottmnt au #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt art #donnie hamato #leo hamato #raph hamato #mikey hamato #disaster twins #cass fanart tag #cass apocalyptic series #cass apocalypse fanart #cass apocalypse series #cass apocalypse au #RE #I PROMISE IM TOTALLY OK THERE IS DEFINITELY NO TEARS HAPPENING NOPE

[actual-changeling]

i'm still not over the fact that it was crowley who pulled away first.

aziraphale stumbles back, mouth still slightly opened, and he looks almost surprised at first because if there is one thing he doesn't do once he's got a taste of something it's stop.

but crowley knew that once he let go of him, that would be it. let go, lose him, and he clung to him for a while to sear the kiss into his memory. kissing not to change his mind but simply to have kissed him, six millennia of longing finally bubbling over.

and then he let him go, knowing what aziraphale would say next.

even then, after all of that, crowley watched him walk to the lift, painfully aware that aziraphale didn't just leave the way he might have done in the past for a decade or four.

no, crowley let him go, and then aziraphale left him here alone.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #hi what a fun post isnt it #definitely not tearing up nope #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #the final fifteen

[puppetmaster13u]

Another de-aged Danny au, but he's with Dan & Ellie & Jazz as well.

Jason has like just arrived back to Gotham, caused chaos in the underbelly due to well, 8 heads in a duffle bag, and is just starting his takeover of Crime Alley. It's going good, great even! And then he busts some sort of gang or smuggling ring run by people in white suits and there's... holy shit why do these four toddlers have Lazarus eyes?!

Is that a lab?! And Lazarus waters?! Jason might be a bit mad but he's not an asshole, he's not going to just leave these kids here to the streets. He can't just take them to the Batclan either, and as much as he begrudgingly trusts Talia, he sure as fuck doesn't trust Ras. Who knows what he'd do to four... what are they, pit-kids?

Now he's juggling his whole revenge-thing, running a criminal empire, taking over Gotham's underbelly, and being a single dad. At least the goonion seems to be down for helping, seeing as he's making Crime Alley safer...? .... Fuck he needs some proper sleep

#Jason adopts the Fenton Siblings Au #de-aged phantom #dcxdp #danny fenton #jazz fenton #jordan fenton #dan fenton #dani fenton #ellie fenton #prompts #Dan & Jazz are somewhere between 5 to 6 #Ellie & Danny are closer to like 3 or 4 #Jason now has 4 baby eldritch toddlers to care for #even more hilarious when he breaks into another GIW lab and finds another pair of kids #This uh #might be a problem #He's not becoming Bruce is he??? #he definitely doesn't find lil bby liminals sam and tucker nope #The phantom siblings: Another halfa??? #One whose not a fruitloop??? #New dad they guess #Gotham is happy their lil red knight has his own lil haunt of ghostlings #Some of the goonion might get more liminal #Jason definitely gives off uncanny valley vibes #He's crime alley's reaper and angel all into one #Batfam can't get info on this new player because nobody is talking #They don't want the kids to be at risk #or for batman to steal them #Jason: Huh I would have thought Bruce would be giving more trouble... #Goonion: :)

[alliwantistowearcomfypants]

I fucking love that young royals really highlights the fact that no one can fix you but you. They have Wille and Simon trying to work around the horrible things going on together, and it doesn't really work because the biggest problem is that Wille is suffering so much under what the are trying to push through. At the beginning of s3 they have the "as long as I have you" kind of mentality and we see how quickly that falls apart. Having each other is not enough, and it shouldn't be. Wille needs to leave the life that is destroying him. Having simon in that life made it better, but it still was not enough. Simon recognizes that at the end of s3e5. Wille thought that all he needed was Simon because he has been so horribly mistreated by every adult in his life that the moment he is shown some unconditional love, he clings to it. Because, let me remind you, this kid is 17 years old. The ending is so incredibly impactful because Wille is finally choosing himself and his happiness. Not Simon's, not his moms. His. And that is beautiful.

#i really need to calm down about them #i just did not expect this teenage romcom to make me feel this much😭 #i really thought it would be another heartstopper or red white and royal blue #um nope #i went in thinking it was a romance #and it definitely is #but it mainly is about a young man learing how to take care of himself #i was not expecting that #and i couldnt be more happy about it #young royals #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #wilmon #wilhelm x simon

[melbush]

i need you all to know that fitz kreiner came 5th place in a problematic bisexual characters poll on twitter

#doctor who #‘first time hes won anything’ #fitz kreiner #eighth doctor #edas #eightfitz #eighth doctor adventures #definitely wasn’t me and my friends who voted nope

[not-with-you-but-of-you]

Rory on Jess + text posts (season 2 edition) | (season 3 edition) (seasons 4 & 6 edition) (AYITL bonus edition)

#season 2: a summary #literati #rory gilmore #jess mariano #rory x jess #jess x rory #gilmore girls #text posts #roryonjess #textpostsedit #* #it’s the way Rory was more or less comfortable with her feelings for Jess #and didn’t take them all that seriously #(because she was in denial and could mask them as simple friendship) #until they made her do something crazy #and then she was immediately like #“nope I’m definitely not equipped to deal with this level of emotion” #“I’d better stick to good ol’ sausage-water Dean” #“who’s only capable of prompting mild annoyance and the occasional fear from me” #and then Jess comes back to Stars Hollow and Rory is reminded once again of what it feels like to actually want to be with someone

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Arrow 3x1 | The Rookie 6x6

#not the parallel i asked for #i originally was thinking it was more like 4x16 #but nope literali1110 was right its definitely 3x1 #thanks girl #arrow #olicity #chenford #tim x lucy #oliver x felicity #arrowedits #oliver queen #felicity smoak #tim bradford #lucy chen #the rookie #3x1 #6x6 #just breathe #its gonna be okay #stephen amell #emily bett rickards #melissa o'neil #eric winter

[snek-eyes]

See you in hell.

[ID: A series of gifs from the Good Omens 2.2 minisode "A Companion to Owls."

Sitis looks disbelieving as she says, "…No. God wouldn't!" Crowley gives an exaggerated frown and replies, "Are you sure?"

Sitis looks horrified and says, "But they've done nothing! They're innocent!" Crowley nods impassively: "So were the goats." Sitis stares at him in horror.

In the cellar, Aziraphale looks back over his shoulder, seeming offended. "God's [side], of course!" Crowley reclines, raising his eyebrows and nodding. "Oh, really. Same God that wants me to whack the kids?"

Aziraphale looks very uncertain, and slowly says, "…Yes. But…" Crowley grins slowly, gesturing to Aziraphale and saying, "That's just how it started for me."

Back in the house, Sitis looks devastated and desperate. "If my children are dead, then… I will curse God, and—"

Crowley swings abruptly around the doorframe and rushes over to interrupt Sitis. "WHOA! That never ends well."

At the cliff's edge overlooking the sea, Aziraphale looks on the verge of tears but determined. "Well. I'm ready to go." Crowley asks: "Go where?" Aziraphale swallows. "To hell."

Crowley sits down on the rock and says, "I'm not taking you to hell, Angel." Aziraphale looks over at him, his tearful expression turning confused. "Why not?" Crowley replies mildly, "Well, I don't think you'd like it."

End ID.]

#good omens 2 #good omens #good omens spoilers #a companion to owls #goodomensedit #crowley #aziraphale #sitis #v watches good omens #v posts things #job flashback #me sitting down next to myself on a rock overlooking the sea: still haven't moved past the job story huh #me: nope #i can't stop thinking about the line Edinburgh when Crowley says to Aziraphale #'It's a bit different when it's someone you know isn't it' #it's different when you have to see the effects of your actions on actual people and acknowledge their pain #as opposed to say. the entity on high responsible for the flood and the bet about Job. who then stopped talking to anyone. #Crowley's not really on hell's side but he is most definitely absolutely not on God's side. #reposting this in hopes it actually shows up in the tags this time :'| #id below the cut #And I wrote a lot more in a reblog so if you're already reading down here maybe check that out #flashing gif

[aurumacadicus]

Okay I just thought of thus yesterday. Stony identity porn but the other way around. As in, Steve and Tony know of each other that they are Captain America and Iron man, but the rest of the world doesn't and gets very upset when they see Steve rogers flirting with iron man!?!? He's in a relationship with Tony Stark?!?! And Tony stark is flirting with Captain America?!?! Meanwhile the team is freaking out trying to find a way to tell them they are cheating on each other

(Sorry english isn't my first language hope it makes sense) (also it's a little long and detailed for a prompt but I thought of it and wanted to share with you!)

Beloved, it makes perfect sense <3 Hope everyone's okay with me roasting Steve because I feel Tony would be expected lol

--

"Steve," Tony said, coming into the living room.

"Sweetheart," Steve replied, not looking up from his book.

Tony didn't bother circling the couch, instead flinging himself over the back to flop into Steve's lap. "I'm absolutely tickled to be able to say that you're in hotter water with the public than I am."

"Why," Steve complained immediately.

Tony waved the magazine he'd brought with him at Steve's face. Glee wasn't enough to describe how smug he felt. "Everyone expects me to flirt with Captain America because I flirt with everybody. Of course I'd flirt someone who saved my life!"

"I didn't. You were fine, remember?" Steve huffed.

"I was," Tony said, ignoring he'd almost been kidnapped by Doom but for one well-aimed shield throw from Steve at the tentacle holding him captive. "Or I would have been. Whatever. But no one was surprised that I gave you a little smooch on the cheek!" He waited for Steve to turn faintly pink, then continued, "But you, you're a one-fella kind of guy. You get super offended when people flirt with you, and you get really angry when people flirt with me in front of you!"

"Because you're mine," Steve growled, leaning in to smack a kiss to his lips. "And I'm yours."

Tony almost forgot what he was saying, leaning in to chase his lips, but then he remembered he was gloating and he pulled back. "So everyone's shocked that you would flirt with Iron Man. Shocked and appalled."

Steve sighed and lifted a hand to rub his eyes. "You're enjoying this too much for someone whose boyfriend is supposedly cheating on them."

"It's kinda novel that I'm not the ho this time," Tony admitted.

Steve leaned in to kiss him again, murmuring, "Don't use that word for yourself, please."

"Well it's true," Tony muttered petulantly, but then Steve was kissing him again, so he found himself sighing, "Okay."

Steve carefully eased the magazine from Tony's hand, pulling him into a deep kiss that had him mewling. If he could get him distracted, he would put off gloating until the next day, and by then he wouldn't get such a cackle out of it.

"Steve," Thor boomed, bursting into the room, and Steve instinctively grabbed Tony and threw him off the couch, standing up to get between him and the door.

"...Thor," Steve said when he realized it was him. He considered leaping behind Thor instead, because Tony might stab him for throwing him on the floor.

"I have been delegated with the unfortunate task of informing Tony that you have been unfaithful," Thor continued, looking deeply disappointed in him. "Clint, Natasha, and I saw you pulling Iron Man into your bedroom with you."

"Oh, God damn it," Steve sighed as Tony went from glaring at him to howling with laughter. He even pointed at him.

"...I sense I have been made a fool of," Thor said slowly, narrowing his eyes.

"Since Natasha was involved, yes, you were," Steve said, because Natasha knew their 'secret' identities. He'd always known she was a shit-stirrer though.

#ask meme #write a blurb meme #stony #definitely-nope

[junipers-insects]

Kist looks like this to me

#utmv #undertale #sans #undertale au #sans au #killer sans #killer!sans #dust sans #dust!sans #killerdust #kist #killer x dust #dust x killer #murder!sans #murder sans #my art #art #doodles 💥💥💥 #this is definitely not inspired by someone specific nope-

[frogprinsen]

LOOK AT THEM

#im not jealous of the people at the event #nope. definitely not #but what if i jump off a cliff #young royals

[sunderwight]

Thinking about a situation where SQQ gets a look at Luo Binghe's package (post-Abyss but pre-Maigu Ridge, or in an AU where Maigu Ridge doesn't happen) through like, the outline of his pants or whatever (maybe Binghe took a wardrobe tip from Jareth of Labyrinth), and then got to thinking about how huge Luo Binghe's meat is, like in an actually non-sexual way this time just his brain gets onto a tangent about a bunch of scenes from PIDW where the descriptions varied wildly, and then he starts wondering about exactly what size it is, because to go by the novel's descriptions it's either bigger than average but not insane or there's another arm stuffed into that codpiece somehow. Surely it's closer to the former than the latter? SQQ doesn't have any other evidence that physical limitations in this world are that different from his own world, but then again, would it come up in any of his conversations if women in this world have sufficiently cavernous vaginas for damn near every virgin Bingge met to accommodate a dick that big? Does it at least make childbirth easier? He hasn't exactly polled anyone on it, so it could be the case. But what about the back door, so to speak? There were a few sex scenes that went in that direction, forbidden tunnel of love type stuff and it was all incredibly bad and cheesy, but of course, SQQ actually has a "back door" too and surely he would notice if it was possible to stick his own arm up it. Although it's also not as if he's tried, and as a peak lord with a fantasy metabolism he doesn't actually have to take a shit either, his body processes everything extremely efficiently and it's been years since... well anyway it's not like he's had occasion to investigate it much, now that he's thinking about it. Maybe he can? Not that this is relevant information to anything though and given the inconsistencies the probable limitations of the numerous people PIDW Binghe had sex with, his package, though prodigious, is probably not actually that big of a weapon. How could he even comfortably keep it contained otherwise...? Etc etc etc.

Meanwhile the entire time he's having this internal spiel, he's just... staring. At Luo Binghe's dick. Really blatantly. It doesn't even occur to him that he's doing something incriminating about his interests or possible attraction precisely because he's not, for once, getting flustered about it (much) but is in fact genuinely vexed by the mystery. This is not so much a case of imagining Luo Binghe's dick as wondering about fantasy physiology. So he's lost track of where his gaze has wandered.

The longer it goes on for though the more flustered Luo Binghe gets though. Like, should he say something? Is this a prelude to Shizun making a move? Is there... something wrong with it? Why is he staring so intently? Is Shizun aware that he has just been looking straight at Luo Binghe's dick for almost ten minutes now...? He should definitely say something, right? Maybe this is his chance! Or maybe he should wait and see what Shizun does next? Should he try a line? Something suave? Ask if he wants to see it! Shizun can absolutely see Binghe's dick if he wants to! No wait, but what if Shizun is planning on making a move and he ruins it by being impatient? He should wait and see where this is going.

...How long is it going to take, though...?

Luo Binghe's brain frazzles between trying to decide if he should make a move or prepare to be receptive towards one, or maybe check and make sure his dick hasn't turned into tentacle or something without him noticing, while Shen Qingqiu slooowly (very slowly) begins to realize that yes, he has been staring at Luo Binghe's dick while lost in thought for such a long time that now it's weird. It's definitely weird. He should look away now, at once, except now if he stops staring at Binghe's dick it's going to end whatever stalemate this is and he's probably going to have to explain why he was ogling it in the first place, and he definitely cannot explain anything, so he just keeps staring while furiously trying to think of a non-gay explanation for why he's now glaring intensely at Luo Binghe's crotch.

...He can't think of anything. Oh god. This is a disaster. Luo Binghe is going to kill him for being a perve!

(Good luck, Binghe.)

#svsss #bingqiu #scum villain's self saving system #long post #I imagine this goes on for so long that they actually get interrupted before either one of them breaks the tension #sqq: oh thank god hopefully binghe will just forget about this whole thing haha it never happened it definitely never happened #lbh: is definitely not going to forget about this #is in fact going to fixate on it forever now thanks #is already trying to figure out how to ask what sqq thinks of his dick #is going to keep wearing the david bowie pants until it happens again for sure #sqq being conscious of what happened is now NOT looking in that direction at all ever again nope #the farce continues

[pinkhysteria]

lucky the horse final girl icon 

#nope #🧍🏽‍♀️.txt #was having heart attacks every time lucky was in danger #got so mad when he wouldn't move his ass when oj was tryna get his bad ass self out the damn arena when jean jacket was prowling the sky #he was a lil TOO unbothered sometimes!! #r.i.p to ghost and them tho :/ #(don't @ me about definition accuracy idgaf jdskjdsk) #nope 2022 #nope spoilers