#it’s the way Rory was more or less comfortable with her feelings for Jess

[not-with-you-but-of-you]

Rory on Jess + text posts (season 2 edition) | (season 3 edition) (seasons 4 & 6 edition) (AYITL bonus edition)

#season 2: a summary #literati #rory gilmore #jess mariano #rory x jess #jess x rory #gilmore girls #text posts #roryonjess #textpostsedit #* #it’s the way Rory was more or less comfortable with her feelings for Jess #and didn’t take them all that seriously #(because she was in denial and could mask them as simple friendship) #until they made her do something crazy #and then she was immediately like #“nope I’m definitely not equipped to deal with this level of emotion” #“I’d better stick to good ol’ sausage-water Dean” #“who’s only capable of prompting mild annoyance and the occasional fear from me” #and then Jess comes back to Stars Hollow and Rory is reminded once again of what it feels like to actually want to be with someone

[roeyliteratiforever]

So if your looking at things from Jess' pov his mom just kicked him out to live with his uncle he barely knows, he has a lady he's just meeting for the first time talking to him about how she knows what he's going through and to him it feels condescending even if it wasn't meant that way by Lorelai. He doesn't want to be in Stars Hollow initially so he starts acting out to test how quickly he could get sent back such as stealing garden noms...etc, then he meets a girl who shares the same interests as him and the only person in town so far that doesn't automatically treat him like a preconceived opinion about him and she makes him feel comfortable so he proceed to impress his crush with writing notes in her book margins (that says I want you to know me) and pulls pranks that would make her laugh to then learn she has a boyfriend and learn that he is beloved by her mother that loathes him.

Dean does all the "perfect boyfriend things" while being a possessive, explosive, and an emotionally abusive control freak. Jess only wants to then spend more time with her, but the whole town already thinks he is trouble because of the reputation he set for himself.

He gets into a car accident with Rory and people then act like he's the spawn of Satan. He becomes so anxious and feels so bad after the accident that he leaves town because he doesn't want to cause Rory any harm or get harm from the weirdo townies. When she comes for him in New York he gets this burst of hope in him which is why he decides to move back for the possibility of being with Rory.

After Rory kissed him the first time he was so gone for her and in that moment that was all he wanted. He genuinely thought she was going to break up with Dean and choose to be with him, but when she didn't and left instead (my boy who already has deep abandonment wounds) is hurt because she didn't outright choose him and left. He then was alone without the one person in that town that he wanted to be around and so he met Shane who didn't want anything serious so it was a perfect way to try to mask his pain with her. He mysteriously gets a car, and people are going nuts thinking he stole it, and he's thinking I can't even get a second job without people thinking I'm a criminal, and I can't get a second job without people accusing me of being a drug dealer or a stripper.

Once him and Rory get together he is so happy he doesn't want to mess it up with her and he gets nervous because he wants everything to go right. She's the one he's been waiting for and now he has her. Then her ex boyfriend starts stalking and harassing him in secret and he feels like he can't do anything about it, and can't even tell his girlfriend about it because he thinks she won't believe her if he told her, so he bottles it up. When he gets attacked by the swan and she thought he got in a fight with Dean and didn't believe him it really hurt him. (I don't blame Rory for this she had no way of knowing and Dean was being manipulative with his "nice guy" and shitty behaviors but it still hurt Jess none the less.) After that he begins to put up his walls again.

When he realizes he's been messing up after not calling he then starts trying to do better and set dates and plans to be with her. All he wants to do is make her happy at this point. Then he gets the news that he's not graduating and in that moment it feels like everything everyone had always said about him came true, he felt like a failure and knowing that he wasn't going to be able to keep his promise to Rory that he would take her to prom crushed him. He wanted so badly to be there for her and do all the boyfriend things and he was so afraid of telling her he wasn't graduating and so upset he couldn't keep his promise to her. His smart girlfriend was getting into an ivy league school and he wasn't even going to graduate highschool and the thought of telling her that was horrible to him.

He could feel he was losing her and he thought once he told her that it would be over, and ended up messing things up with her anyways. He felt like he was doing her a favor by leaving because he figured she would want him gone. He didn't think she would want him to stay, even though that's all she wanted. He was battling his demons alone and was used to everyone shipping him off when he messed up that he thought he was doing her a favor by leaving after he messed up so bad.

His father that left him as a baby showed up in his life for the first time and he didn't know how to handle that. Once Luke kicked him out he ran to his dad that left him because crashing on his couch or floor was better than staying with his neglectful deadbeat mother.

He finds out his uncle was hiding his car from him and felt double betrayed he was already feeling abandoned yet again after Luke kicked him out to then find out he took something he worked so hard to get from him he was more betrayed. He comes back to Stars Hollow to get his car and everyone still wants him gone. Luke tells Jess to stay away from Rory so he proceeds trying to avoid her while he is there and he knows how badly he messed up with her and he wants to talk to her but when he sees her at the firelight festival he wants to explain to her but she is still so mad and all he could get out was that he loves her. He just wanted her to know he then leaves because he doesn't expect her to say anything he just wanted her to know. Jess is deeply hurting at this point inside and his pain is at it's peak. He just keeps digging a deeper whole and doesn't know how to fix it at this point.

Luke convinces Jess to go to his neglectful mother's wedding and goes to a bachelor party where he is assaulted by his stepdad to be at a bar and he naturally goes into defense mode. He was so used to his other abusive step dad's that he was constantly in defense mode and fought back. He goes to his mother's wedding anyways and walks her down the isle despite everything his mom put him through. Luke gives him the self help book that he had been reading, and Jess reads it and tries to better himself as well, meanwhile Lorelai scoffs to Luke about it. (I love Lorelai but that was extremely uncalled for by her and it just makes me think no matter what he does or how better he becomes he will always resent him, and it just makes no sense that she has this one sided grudge with a kid that was deeply in pain.) He makes up with Luke and thanks him for everything he did for him, and then he goes to try to apologize and tell Rory how he feels, but then he sees Dean there and he is thrown off and he just wants to make things right so in the spur of the moment he asks her to leave with him because he just wants to fix what they had. (He wasn't thinking rationally, but he meant it when he said she could count on him now and so he went out and turned his life around and made something for himself and came back to show her how much she could count him now even if it meant as a friend. He would still be there for her and he showed her that he could be the person she always knew he was. He still didn't expect anything from her he just wanted to show her his book, and let her know he couldn't have done it without her.)

He was so badly traumatized while him and Rory were together and it couldn't have possibly worked out at that time. He was battling so much pain internally, and everyone in that town was against him and actively hating him 😭 and I just feel for what he was going through, and I'm just so proud of who he turned out to be. I'm not sure what this rant was anymore but I'm just thinking about Jess' perspective and his pain right now. He was in so much pain while him and Rory were together and he didn't know how to properly express that or tell her that, and I just want to hug him and I'm so proud of him for how far he came and how much he overcame his pain and trauma and ugh I just feel so much right now. (Also I had a lot of coffee today and my autistic/ADHD brain is just going with thoughts right now.)

#gilmore girls #jess mariano #literati #rory gilmore #jess and rory #rory and jess #jess x rory #rory x jess #team jess

[stellaluna33]

What do you think about the people who say that we don't know if season 6 Jess would be a good boyfriend and that just because he wrote a book doesn't mean he would be a good bf?

Haha, well... If I were to take those statements purely at face value, I actually can't argue with that? Haha! Like, yeah. Sure. I agree! We don't know if Season 6 Jess would have been a good boyfriend, just taking into account the simple fact that the Palladinos seem to think that happy/healthy romantic relationships are boring to watch and so they tend to create problems on purpose. 😂😭 I mean, Season 6 Luke was pretty objectively "not being a good boyfriend," and Luke and Lorelai were supposed to be the endgame couple! So yeah, as Sherman-Palladino characters, there is no "surety" there as a matter of course!

And "just because he wrote a book doesn't mean he would be a good bf," like... yes? Of course not! Haha! I absolutely agree! Except that that's not what Literati shippers actually mean or say! That's a straw man argument. Because... if you think that Jess publishing a book was the only noteworthy development of Season 6 Jess, you weren't paying attention. Jess having written a book, impressive and praiseworthy as that might be, isn't what makes people think he would be more capable of being a better boyfriend at the age of 21. I mean, the fact that he seemed to have found a purpose and a place for himself would certainly be helpful (less tormented angst and self-loathing and uncertainty about what he wants out of life would already be an improvement over 18-year-old Jess!), but the way he ACTS suggests that he's matured in the specific areas that caused problems in his relationship with Rory before.

The biggest problems with Jess as a teenage boyfriend (in addition to the aforementioned angst and self-loathing) were that he was closed-off emotionally and wouldn't share any information about himself or his feelings with Rory (he wouldn't let her in), and he was (possibly even unintentionally) inconsiderate in the way he "didn't want to be tied down" to specific schedules or plans. But Jess in Season 6 is very different. He seems very open and relaxed and considerate! He asks if it's ok for them to talk and offers to come back at another time if not... He voluntarily tells Rory about his life and his work and readily answers her questions... He actually asks Rory about her FEELINGS and is vulnerable enough to expose his own ("Are you nervous?" "I'm a little nervous too.")! He seems to pick up on her discomfort, and responds to it by opening up and sharing his OWN discomfort just to try to make her feel more comfortable! That's... not only emotionally perceptive, but KIND! He expresses gratitude for everything she's done for him, just because he wanted her to know! And then... He asked to talk again... and suggested a specific date and time! And the next evening, when Rory left the house to wait for him, he was already there! He not only showed up on time, but was even potentially early! And he acted cheerful and good-humored about the potentially embarrassing fact that he startled when Rory caught him throwing pebbles at her window. 😂 (Teenage Jess would have been embarrassed and defensive) And then, there's the way he stayed admirably calm despite Logan intentionally goading him... And THEN, in "the Real Paul Anka," there's the fact that Jess reached out and invited both Rory and Luke to his open house! He wanted them to KNOW that they were important to him, he wanted them to be a part of his life, and he wanted to share his work with them! He LEARNED from that self-help book he read way back in Season 4! And at the open house, he seemed comfortable and easily confident and was every bit the gracious host in a way he NEVER would have been able to when he was younger. He was openly affectionate and appreciative with Luke. He wrote Luke a check to honor a promise he made two years before... And he was even kind and generous and gentle to Rory after she HURT him (carelessly at best, cruelly at worst)!

So, does "writing a book" mean that Jess would be a better boyfriend? No, of course not. But all of THAT?? A Jess who is obviously and demonstrably much more calm, kind, patient, open, confident, responsible, and considerate than he was when he and Rory dated the first time? How could he NOT be?! Of course we don't really know how it would have worked out in reality, but how can you blame people for wondering? It's not irrational at all to assume that it would be very different (i.e. BETTER), and people who imply otherwise either don't care enough to pay attention or are being disingenuous. Sorry (not sorry).

#Gilmore Girls #Literati #Jess Mariano

[scoopsgf]

what are the most literati taylor swift songs?

OH okay please allow me a moment to review her entire discography

from midnights i would say: question (did you leave her house [aka town] in the middle of the night? / did you wish you’d put up more of a fight?), midnight rain (though i would invert it so like: [she] wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain / all of me changed like midnight rain), you’re on your own, kid (FROM SPRINKLER SPLASHES TO FIREPLACE ASHES / I WAITED AGES TO SEE YOU THERE / I SEARCHED THE PARTY OF BETTER BODIES JUST TO LEARN THAT YOU NEVER CARED!!!! YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN KID!!! YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN!!!!). from evermore i just can’t help associating ’tis the damn season w them (esp bc of @georgianadarcies’s fic) like. the idea of them as adults returning to stars hollow and having a FWB relationship because they are fucking idiots. only to realize they’re both still hung up on each other. still in love. what the fuck. also happiness (there’ll be happiness after you / but there was happiness because of you, too / both of these things can be true), right where you left me (matches burn after the other / pages turn and stick to each other / wages earned and lessons learned / but i, i’m right where you left me … everybody moved on … they expected me to find somewhere / some perspective, but i sat and stared… you left me no choice but to stay here forever) like JESUS CHRIST. also coney island bc of reckless abandon (i’m sitting on a bench in coney island wonderin’ where did my baby go ….). from folklore there are so many like that album was made for them i s2g. betty (i’m only 17, i don’t know anything / but i know i miss you), the 1 (i thought i saw you at the bus stop, i didn’t though … i guess you never know, never know / and if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed / and if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow / and it’s alright now … and if my wishes came true / it would’ve been you … i have this dream you’re doing cool shit / having adventures on your own / you meet some woman on the internet and take her home … and it would’ve been sweet / if it could’ve been me) like are you absolutely SHITTING ME the whole song is them and their break up from rory’s perspective and just. the passage of time. her wondering about him and imagining him with other girls and thinking of him as her One but it didn’t work out. i am throwing up. then we have this is me trying which is sooooo jess mariano coded (I’ve been having a hard time adjusting / had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting / i didn’t know if you’d care if I came back / i have a lot of regrets about that / pulled the car off the road to the lookout / could’ve followed my fears all the way down / and maybe I don’t quite know what to say / but I’m HERE IN YOUR DOORWAY!!!! … they told me all of my cages were mental / so I got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to KILL when I’m mad / i have a lot of regrets about that … I WAS SO AHEAD OF THR CURVE THE CURVE BECAME A SPHERE / FELL BEHIND ON MY CLASSMATES AND I ENDED UP HERE!!!!! … AND ITS HARD TO BE AT A PARTY WHEN I FEEL LIKE AN OPEN WOUND / ITS HARD TO BE ANYWHERE THESE DAYS WHEN ALL I WANT IS YOU / YOU’RE A FLASHBACK IN A FILM REEL ON THE ONE SCREEN IN MY OWN). im throwing up like what the FUCK. you cannot convince me that this song is not about him. anyway there are more off of other albums, like atw 10 min version on red tv—but that one is less them from a narrative standpoint and it’s more about. idk the lament-y vibes.

#asks #onurownkidd #literati #gilmore girls #taylor swift #ILY FOR THIS IT WAS FUN

[frazzledsoul]

I think it's interesting that in season 4 we get one (1) appearance from Dean at the beginning of the season (the episode where he gets married) and although it's clearly not a good idea and he's moping over Rory, he pretty much drops out of the narrative completely and we don't see him again for ten episodes. There's a lot going on in Stars Hollow at that time: Lorelai and Sookie are getting the inn put together, Lane starts working for Luke and has a falling out with her mother, Sookie gives birth, there's the Festival of Living Art, Luke and Lorelai "break the bells", and of course Liz and Jess show up at the Firelight Festival and cause a lot of drama. Rory's social life at Yale is somewhat pitiful so she comes home pretty much every weekend yet she has zero interaction with Dean and Lindsey and they are not involved in anything at all that happens, even the major town events.

I mention this because Rory is drawn back into Dean's orbit in the episode after Jess drops his love bomb and runs in a major way and their relationship continues to get more and more inappropriate in the last third of the season. Dean sells Rory his sob story of how Lindsay is pushing him to work (even though we later see that she's trying pretty hard to be the stay-at-home wife he wanted and make him happy). Rory chastises Dean for dropping out of college, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his goals were never the same as hers were and wanting them to be the same isn't going to erase their incompatibility. And of course, while this is all going on Luke's ill-advised marriage is also unraveling as he and Lorelai become closer. Given the previous example Lorelai set for her by hooking up with Christopher while he was with Sherry and then making out with Max while she was still technically dating Twilight Dad as well as the separation of the grandparents, it was fairly easy for Rory to conclude that this marriage business really doesn't matter and to look to Dean for comfort and and affirmation as she reminisces about the relationship she thinks she remembers.

And you know what goes away around this time, too? Any of her half-hearted attempts to socialize at Yale or to get something started romantically. She tried being independent and it sucked, so she interprets Dean's possessiveness and desire to limit her interactions with Jess as affection (which is all kind of messed up in itself, but that's another issue). Jess's second love bomb sends her further down that path where she's willing to do just about anything to feel safe again, because she never was allowed to process that break-up and Jess is too messed up at the time to offer her much of an explanation because he doesn't have the language for that either yet.

I still have a lot of trouble processing how Rory suddenly becomes convinced that she wants to relive the halcyon days of a relationship where Dean was often very unhappy with her and that ended because she fell in love with someone she found more intellectually compatible. Even though she is doing some pretty messed up rationalization leading up to her deflowering, she literally goes from "maybe you and Lindsay should go away together" to "Oh, I always knew this would happen! Let me play you this atrocious song to commemorate the occasion!" in two minutes (and we all know the sex took even less time). She backs off pretty soon afterwards and doesn't seem to mourn (and only seems to date Dean out of pity) but the whole thing is still so improbable, even all these years later. I still don't think she ever wanted a relationship, but she got drawn into the idea that losing her virginity in this way was something that wasn't as threatening as dealing with her feelings for her other ex.

(You know what would be even less threatening? Just boinking Marty and leaving your high school boyfriends alone. Just saying).

So was this character arc planned, or could we have gotten rid of Dean after his wedding? I honestly think it's the latter. He could have disappeared after the wedding and we'd have a completely different storyline. Probably a better one.

#frazzled rambles #rory gilmore #gilmore girls

[rhiawriter]

I’m curious, in your fic (love it btw) Jess doesn’t like to be single and it’s a different take. It’s very interesting and I was wondering what makes you think that?(and now the more I think about it the more it makes sense)

So glad you like The Writers! Well, I've thought a lot about this, so warning, you're going to get a long answer. Here is my evidence/thought process.

Jess and Rory Together in Canon - Jess is an introvert who has a fair amount of social anxiety, but he loves finding the person he can be himself around and then devoting himself to them. He's kind of the inventor of Netflix and chill (remember the cute agoraphobic couple), and when they go to a party, all he wants is to get away and be with Rory. He's not crazy about people, but he loves having his person.

Jess in Season 4 - When Jess asks Rory to run away with him, he keeps telling her that she can depend on him now. I see S4 Jess as the beginning of a journey of personal growth for Jess. At the time, he's projecting a lot onto his relationship with Rory and wanting to fix that, but I think that once he gets over that, he realizes that he really likes having a partner. It's really important to him to be a good partner and to be someone that others can depend on. It's part of him trying to be less like Jimmy and more like Luke.

Jess in Season 6 - Once he finds Truncheon and makes friends (yay!) he has a healthier balance to his life and isn't putting all that pressure on his romantic partner, but I think having a romantic partner is still really important to him. He's happiest when he can count on hanging out with someone cool at home and away from the scene, because he's always going to need a break from that.

Jess and Sexuality - Let's face it, Jess is the most sexual of Rory's boyfriends. But he's also a shy person with social anxiety, so I don't see him enjoying casual sex very much. I think having an active sex life with someone who he feels comfortable with is very important to him and being in a committed relationship is the best way to get that.

Jess and Personal Growth - Ok, this part is more Writers specific and how I've imagined him in my fic, but I think of adult Jess as a person who's put a lot of work into themselves and is very focused on being a mature, successful adult. He's obviously put a lot of work into his career, but I think he also puts a lot of weight on his personal relationships. He has a complicated relationship with the concept of home, monogamy, and stability, but it's also something he really values and wants to work towards, because these were not things that were modeled for him as a kid. He really wants to have a stable home, but also has a lot of fear of failure attached to that. He's working on it!

#The Writers #Jess Mariano #ask me anything

[baezdylan]

"They see each other with absolutely no filter." Ooh YES! You said you're "going to stop now," but don't stop! Tell me more! Tell me EVERYTHING. *settles in with a comfy blanket and a cup of tea* (This is about that gifset of Rory and Jess feeling nervous, by the way. Haha)

AAAAAAAAH, YOU ARE MAKING ME SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!!! Okay, here I go. First of all I really really love that gifset and both of those scenes because (this may sound a bit contradictory) them acknowledging the fact that they're both nervous takes away from the awkwardness of the situation? People usually work too hard on making the circumstances less uncomfortable which almost always leads to everything being even more uncomfortable for everybody involved. Jess and Rory are like: okay, I'm nervous, you're nervous and that's completely alright. None of them denies it. Rory could have denied it out of politeness, especially in 6x08. They haven't seen each other for quite some time, they could have easily fallen out of their pattern. It would have been natural for Rory to say something like: nooooo, this is not awkward at all and Jess could have easily taken the conversation to another place but he doesn't. Instead he confirms it by saying: "I'm a little nervous too". Neither of them had to do that which leads me to the whole "they see each other with absolutely no filter" theory and that is my favourite thing about them. And both of them are the kind of people who would rather keep their emotions to themselves and deal with them in quiet, admitting or mentioning the sentiment such as nervousness that easily wouldn't be something that comes naturally. But despite all of that, both the scene in 3x08 and the one in 6x08 feel insanely real to me. Something else I think is important is how Rory instinctively feels comfortable with Jess in the sense that she doesn't need to be this perfect version of herself around him. Even in Lorelai's eyes she's the perfect kid. In the earlier seasons, Rory would worry about school or grades and Lorelai would be like: "you're the smartest kid alive, you can do no wrong". Even when Rory points out how Jess wasn't the only one responsible for the car accident in season two, Lorelai doesn't seem to comprehend it. I think she assigns it to Rory having a crush on Jess, but for Rory that conversation wasn't that much about Jess as much as it was about the way that she's perceived. I don't blame Lorelai or Richard or Emily for treating Rory like that but coming from someone who finds that particular part of Rory's life and personality extremely relatable: it can get unbearable because you want your flaws, struggles and failures to be acknowledged. And Jess does that for her. He never puts the accent on the improbability of her not succeeding at something. He only ever helps her overcome the already existing problem (when he implies how she graduated early he already knows how that's not the case, but he gives her the chance to say it herself and that, in my opinion, is very important and tells a lot about the mutual understanding they have going on), the problem being her own self sometimes too, because he knows who she is. Yes, he's aware that's she capable of great things, nobody ever doubted that. But Jess also knows what it takes for a person to get there and he knows how crucial having somebody who really understands or is willing to understand you, with no set expectations or prejudice (even if it's of the positive kind), actually is. And the best thing about this: it's mutual. They both inspire each other to do and be better and all of that because they are not only aware of the other's flaws, but also willing to point them out to one another in order to grow and learn. I just love them so so so much.

#how did i get here again? #this is so messy and im sorry #and i got obsessed with these two nerds because im a nerd #rory x jess #literati #gilmore girls

[georgianadarcies]

GG ask: I think the reason why many fans think L*gan is the best/mature boyfriend is because he is always 'there' unlike Jess who 'left'. Do you think because of this they fail to consider that even when L*gan was there he wasn't exactly helping her grow and it was not healthy. I also think this plays into why Rory gives him AND Dean multiple chances despite them having made horrible mistakes and treating her badly, they never 'left'. It almost like cheating, compromising, codependency, possessiveness (basically every red flag) is fine IF YOU JUST STAY.

they absolutely do fail to consider the circumstances of him sticking around. "staying" is a big theme in rory's relationships and love life throughout the show—dean breaking up with her when she couldn't say I love you, then dumping her publicly less than two years later; jess leaving without saying goodbye and breaking her heart, then appearing and disappearing multiple times afterwards. she was always afraid of change (one instance of this being her inability to break up with dean even when she'd fallen in love with jess) and of losing the people she loved, but this increased exponentially after jess left. that relationship was different from her innocent, bye-bye birdy type relationship with dean—it was passionate and deep and serious, which is shown in many ways (but specifically the fact that she was planning on sleeping with him). after jess leaves, she no longer enjoys unpredictability, and stops being able to trust him. jess left in a way no one else did by actually leaving without saying anything to her, and this was a lesson to rory that she had to be more careful and couldn't trust as easily. she starts to think, okay, he left, so how much did he really like me? (she doesn't blame herself for it, but I think she doubts how much he really cared. she was too hurt and didn't have enough information on his past to understand why he really left, especially since he didn't say anything before leaving.) she starts to equate leaving with not loving.

during season four, she equates love with staying. regardless of how shitty dean is, he was there, and after what happened with jess, rory sees this as an act of love. she was told by everyone that dean was perfect, that jess would just hurt her, and that dean was better, and now after everything she's thinking that maybe they were right. she wants to redo this, take the test over again, pick the "right guy." she didn't love dean anymore, but after such a hard year adjusting to college and being single for the first time in a while, she needed that familiarity, and with jess appearing and leaving yet again, and her having to turn him down like that, there was comfort in turning to dean. he was telling her the "right" things, and by saying that his marriage was over, she could willingly believe that and let herself hide in that relationship. this is the first instance of her really hurting herself by believing someone was good just because they stayed.

with logan, it's a little different because he wasn't flighty in the same way as dean was. logan is also smarter and more nuanced than dean—I may not like him, but he has charm. he's suave and he knows what the right thing to say is to get what he wants. and it's true, logan did stay. I mean, he did cheat on her—this isn't a strong argument of him staying because he slept with other girls after having one fight and not talking to rory for, what, a couple weeks? but after that, yes, he did stay. but his previous manipulation had lasting effects—rory now just excuses everything he does and puts all the blame on herself. RED FLAG. she excuses her worse behavior (specifically in season five, that's the worst of what she does) when she's with him. RED FLAG. he makes her feel like she can be a worse version of herself, and gives her that out. RED FLAG. I could go through the whole list, but that relationship had so many issues, including lying and cheating and codependency and essentially everything you listed there. so, yeah, he stayed—until he didn't. breaking up with her at her graduation because she didn't want to get married at 22 fresh out of college and saying "what's the point?" in reference to dating long distance isn't exactly the paragon of the perfect boyfriend, but I digress. he stayed, sure, but he wasn't mature in the slightest. jess handled things in an immature way because he was eighteen years old. logan was twenty-five. he stayed because of how codependent that relationship was, but again, that does not equal maturity!!

this is soooo rambly but god I hate how simplified rogan stans try to make it. a few good moments and rory excusing his behavior does not mean the relationship was good. duration doesn't mean everything, especially here. long relationships aren't always long because they're good. this is the case for logan and rory—they were together for a while, but that's because rory let him pull all this shit again and again because she wanted him to stay. she didn't want to lose him, and she knew how he reacted when she disagreed with him. rory has a LOT of emotional baggage when it comes to being left, and she lets logan get away with so much just so he'll stay.

#ask #anonymous #gilmore girls meta #anti rogan #anti logan huntzberger

[sparklycardigan]

Another ask related to tags you wrote yesterday, haha! You were talking about how both Rory and Jess seem to have limited emotional intelligence (despite their formidable book smarts!) and the way Rory shuts her feelings in metaphorical boxes and Jess just shoves the whole mess onto the top shelf (I LOVE those analogies and they made me laugh so much!), and it's SO true! 😂😭. My poor disaster nerds! But anyway, the purpose of this ask is to note that it's interesting to me how Jess seems much more emotionally mature in Season 6 and the Revival (giving sound advice to both Rory AND Luke and talking Luke through his relationship issues, no less!), and I'm wondering how much of that has to do with his writing. Like maybe he found that writing was a good way to work through a lot of his thoughts and feelings- like when you see it externally in black-and-white, it can be easier to organize and see connections, the way you'd analyze somebody else's literature (which Jess was already used to doing, with all his copious annotating).

And that brings a whole new dimension to his advice that Rory write a book specifically about herself and her mom. Because not only is it a "cool story" and something she feels passionate about, but it forces her to look at her life in a way that Rory is usually all too reluctant to do.

I feel like I should start paying you at this point, your asks are like therapy for me. It took me a bit of time to answer this in a way that I would like because I feel extremely connected to that particular part of both of their personalities which makes the following the only appropriate way to start the expected rambling session: Today On Yet Another Episode Of Me Projecting On Gilmore Girls Characters.

First of all, I'm really glad you find my tags somewhat enjoyable, I have a lot of fun writing them so this feels like a nice addition to that experience. Also, I'm immensely grateful to you for sending this ask because it tackles something that I've been writing about recently. I've been thinking about the way different sorts of media affect me and what is it exactly that I gain from each of those art forms respectively, so I tried to put my thoughts in "metaphorical boxes" if you will, and it's not working that well, but there are a few connections I was able to pick up on, so I'm going to highlight some of them here, in relation to Jess and Rory of course because projecting on them is a personality trait for me apparently. Let's again split this into paragraphs, that's how I function the best:

1. Literati & Books

2. Jess Mariano & Writing A Book Of His Own

1. Reading books unfortunately doesn't automatically amount to possession of greatly desired emotional intelligence despite the basic and logical assumption, even if the person approaches the material with devotion or is shown to be analysing particular characters and their stories in depth. I think that for Jess, books have always been more about escapism (which is something you don't have to be conscious of for it to be true). Something he found comfort in, more like a distraction from his personal reality than a chance to deal with himself and I feel like this is correct for a lot of people ("I live in two worlds. One is a world of books." immediately comes to mind, it definitely goes for Rory too). There's reason why the "Earnest has only lovely things to say about you" scene is shot in a way that it's shot in. It just screams romanticism, I can't help but think of the Thoreau quote used in Dead Poets Society, the "I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately" one. That's why Jess and Rory's place is completely cut off from the rest of the town, all natural and wild and free. It's at the same time anywhere and nowhere (there are no traces of either Stars Hollow or New York resembling qualities surrounding them, this is where their worlds collide, this is where they can be themselves). It could be anywhere in the world and it wouldn't make a difference. It's no wonder that's where they are shown to have detailed conversations about books first, books are a form of escapism for both of them, especially when they don't feel like dealing with their own feelings, because what better way to get away from your own problems than to think about the problems of fictional people? (yes, it's messed up and illogical, but it's what people do, speaking in a "running away from things" wider sense now) I'm happy you find the analogy I used fitting, I thought it works for them quite well (+ it's a tiny bit entertaining to think about it in that manner). Rory is somebody who relies heavily on plans and schedules, it makes sense for her to try to divide her emotions and put them in boxes and try to arrange them so they fit her personal preferences. Amy March connection again!!!!!!Quote: "I believe we have some power over who we love, it isn't something that just happens to a person." to which Laurie replies: "I think the poets might disagree." which leads me to Jess. I think he's pretty well aware that he can't control what he's feeling in any way and he absolutely despises it. And that's on him "shoving the emotional annoying madness along with the books he has no intention of rereading way up high on the highest shelf" (I just love it when I quote myself🥰). There's quite a bit of denial involved with Rory, she probably knows deep down that she can't do much about the nature of her emotions. The point is: they are both emotionally unintelligent, just in a different way (which is exactly what makes them clash at times).

*This whole paragraph is just further proof that I need to write that Literati/Amy & Laurie post as soon as I possibly can.

Small addition: the first Literati kiss also happens in a place that cuts them off from the rest of the world AND it's also surrounded by nature. I just think that the romanticism of it all. And of course the Pride and Prejudice of it all (okay, time to write that post).

2. And here we are, post-development Jess at last. I agree with you one hundred percent on this one because the wish to understand myself and my emotions a little better is exactly what got me writing in the first place and now, I'm a s6 Jess myself, fortunately for me (and everyone around me probably). There's this wonderful quality to writing that makes the majority of things much more understandable than they seem to be before they get to meet the everlasting friend that is paper (technology what?) and I think that's exactly what happened to Jess. I also think him to be extremely big on words (internally). It's probably buzzing in that head of his (and let's face it: there's probably a lot of background music added to the mix too), either way it's insanely loud for him most of the time. Offering a bit of that loudness (that's essentially himself) to something visible must have been a tremendous relief for him (and he does look a lot more relaxed in a physical sense s6 forward too, kudos to Milo for that). I love the way you word it: "seeing it externally in black and white", that's exactly it!!!!! Actually seeing it as something existent, not something that he made up or something that he couldn't understand, surely made it easier to think about it objectively. Almost like observing himself as a fictional character? Maybe his mind processed the writing like it would any other book? It would undoubtedly be a familiar route for him. Suppose he didn't even know how much he was letting out when he first started working on it (which seems likely). Maybe he realized later on, after publishing it, closer to the revival timeline, how beneficial the whole thing was for him. The possibilities are endless, that's the beauty of all of this after all.

#literati #jo rambles #gilmore girls #gilmore girls revival #gg meta #rory gilmore #jess mariano #otp: it's just you #otp: you wrote a book #amy x laurie #amy march #YAY i answered one ask today #need to get to the dair one tomorrow #sparkly answers

[humansofstarshollow]

I gotta say, I agree with Jess when he said he didn’t see Rory as a foreign correspondent journalist. (Or maybe I’m just comparing her to the things journalists here in Mexico go through and the danger they’re in here.) Like I think she would have been more fit as a professor or a lawyer or a freelance writer. Like, homegirl couldn’t even do her job interviewing people in New York City (In Manhattan, no less). How was she gonna go, say, report on bombings in the middle east or the conditions on the streets in Tijuana?

Although, alternatively, it could have been interesting to see her break out of her New England, Ivy League snow globe world and grow from it, but I feel like that’s an entirely different show 😅

honestly, I totally agree with you. I don't see her as having the adventurous, daring, and maybe foolish also (?) kind of spirit you must possess to be that type of reporter. maybe as a travel writer, or something easy and comfortable, yet exciting, like that. (I'm really not sure how she and logan would have managed weeks, backpacking their way through asia.)

most of the time i even forget that rory's dream career is being a journalist, really. like, she is involved with schools newspaper but so are many other students, you know? it never is this big thing. i feel like it was another one of those things that rory (and lor) has decided must be in the plan and so she'll have to see it through.

rory, my dear girl, you'd be a lovely buzzfeed writer with your love for food, pop culture knowledge and wittiness. i would read that!

but also, seeing a brand new and upgraded rory would have been so cool, indeed.

#humansofstarshollow #humansofstarshollow personal #humansofstarshollow asks #humansofstarshollow anon

[funkymbtifiction]

communication style between feelers.

Hello again. 

I read the post about Dean and I do not agree with the poster, but I’m not here to reply to her but to ask you a question she kind of raised and I always want to ask. 

What are the communicative styles of Fi vs Fe in feelers .. once and for all? 

Because online the same styles are given to both functions, and I’m super confused. In my own experience and what I’ve noticed, Fi are direct and expressive, Fe hold back and are more secretive and vague. Yet it’s not what is described under those functions, is it? I also wonder if it has more to do with introversion/extroversion and enneagram type more than feeling function?

Lets take Rory and Lorelai. 

Rory the ISFJ: One of the reasons she’s one of my least favorite characters is because 50% of her lines are “no it’s fine” and “oh it’s okay”. And what frustrates me more is that she’s labeled sweet and polite and ‘the nicest kid in the world’ for it even though it hurt people around her. She never says what she actually feels and avoids these conversations and there are consequences. 

- She likes Jess and wants to be with him? she drags Dean along and makes him go through emotional hell with the uncertainty and the clinginess that comes with experiencing someone pulling away slowly and them lying and telling you it’s all in your head. She disrespects him and lies over and over again. Being honest and upfront would’ve saved him all of that.

- After she dates him after his divorce the same exact thing happens. It’s not working and the relationship wasn’t what she thought it would be. She wasn’t okay with the Doose’s market food spread, spending time in his house with his mother watching them like hawk and sister blasting music. She wasn’t okay with him snapping at her and staying at his friend’s apartment and them rarely spending time together because he doesn’t have a car and the lack of proper dates. Does she communicate these things? nope, she drags it along until the action comes from him once again and he’s very hurt and feels not good enough again while she cries wearing a diamond tiara because he 'dumped her’ when she dumped him both times way earlier and simply didn’t verbalize it.

- She willingly allows Emily to manipulate her then gets super upset about it and takes it out on her when the person she should be angry with is herself for not speaking up

- When she wants to date Logan and he doesn’t initiate it she’s also upset instead of going to him and telling him she’s interested. 

- When her and her mother attempt to end the grandparents separation, she let’s Richard cut her off and change the subject even though it was her idea and she felt very strongly about doing it that night

Lorelai the ENFP however wastes no time in that same episode. as soon as she was handed the drink she asked her mother directly “will you ever get back together with dad?”

- When Emily is being disrespectful or nosey she tells her to back off straight away. 

- when her father does the same the day after spending the day at Stars Hallow she tells him “You’re judgmental, it’s none of your business, it’s my life not yours and I’ll live it however you want. this stops now”

- when max proposes to her and she thinks it’s the wrong way to do it she says so immediately

- when sherry tells Rory to visit all the time at the baby shower because Yale is near, Lorelai says “well yes, when she’s not spending time with me”. She makes it clear.

- Christopher told the Rory of how she kissed him when they were young because 'she wanted to know what it felt like’ which is completely different than Rory who gets passive aggressive because of Logan. 

That being said. Both characters are unhealthy in expressing themselves one is your face and one acts like a doormat and is upset when someone steps on it. I’ll talk about my experience with IxFJs. I love them, but unfortunately we run into the same miscommunication wall. I’m an xNFP (leaning towards ENFP). Maybe it’s the Te in me but I like things clear and efficient in the sense that I want it out in the open all of it, no matter how insignificant and embarrassing it may be. I want to talk about it calmly and gently, reach a decision or a common ground, take the lesson from it and MOVE ON. I hate things hanging in the air till they shape themselves like an elephant and become the one in the room. The IxFJs I’ve known hardly ever share if I’ve wronged them in a way and instead start behaving a little differently around me, they won’t reply the same way to my messages and there’ll be awkward silence. I don’t understand why? it’s a waste of time and energy. Fe think that by not saying the 'negative’ things and addressing the 'not so perfect feelings’ they’re not hurting anyone, but in reality it’s the opposite, it's the most hurtful thing when you’re passive and you let the person suffer for it. 

I respect my people too much to make them feel stupid and play with their head and heart. I’ve told people I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore (and I was as respectful/friendly/considerate as I could while doing it). Difficult, honest, conversations hurt less than lack of honestly and action in my opinion, especially on the long run when the person calms down and is able to think logically. 

And I love my people so much that I don’t want to go days without talking to them because of an argument that could be resolved. I hate sleeping on unresolved business. Rory runs away every time she doesn’t like want to have a hard conversation with her mother, either to her grandma’s house or to Europe or the live in the pool house for months and poor Lorelai just waits.

I don’t relate to the INFP’s post at all about Fi finding it hard saying I love you. If anything I over do it. with handwritten letters and long messages and presents and on the phone and in person and written in the sky if I only I had the money

so which communicative style belongs to FJs and which to FP? I stand by Fi (direct and clear communication) and Fe (avoidant and passive).

----------

It sounds like you have a solid ability to be honest and open about your feelings, and that’s admirable. You’re clearly not an avoidant personality, but that’s not the case for a lot of feelers. I think what you’re objecting to are attachment type behaviors, within the Enneagram system (3, 6, and 9). Rory, who is either a 9w1 or a 6w5 (probably a 9w1, given how you just described her) is an avoidant personality who isn’t sure what she wants most of the time, is afraid of conflict and confrontation, and has separation issues. She is indeed passive-aggressive and avoidant, and puts her friends and family members through hell while tying to sort out what she wants and how she needs to communicate. And it’s not good. Her behavior with Jess was especially bad, because she was really into him, didn’t want to admit it to herself, couldn’t admit to Dean that she had emotionally moved on, and didn’t know what to do about her feelings… so she strung him along.

Healthy people learn to put things out in the open and be clear about their feelings, but a lot of feelers of both types don’t know how to do this. I would say it’s easiest for ESFPs and EFJs, because of the direct communicative style of Se/Te and Fe-dom. Fe-doms can’t help talking about how they feel immediately as it happens, because it’s the center of their world. As regards your complaints about IFJs… avoidance happens, because IFJs are less sure about their feelings and how to communicate them in ways that are non-offensive to others, and about 80% of them are 9w1s, which compounds the problem of being avoidant. They don’t want to risk an argument, deal with your hurt feelings, or insult you in any way, so they ignore the problem and hope it goes away, but it never really does. They avoid you, afraid of what they might say that could be hurtful, and procrastinate about being honest. (I too have had this happen.) They aren’t sure of how much separation they want, if a relationship sours, because their minds are fuzzy on the issue (they are mad, then not mad, want you, then don’t want you), so they can send you mixed messages.

But, and I will say this, I have done the exact same thing. I am not proud of it, but I’ve done it. I’ve not known how to say, “Look, I am unhappy with this relationship and I want out.” Instead, I become more distant and wait for you to catch the hint, unless it’s in a romantic relationship and there I will say, “It’s not you, it’s me. I don’t want this” in a nice way. My 9 fix tries to ignore things, even if they bother me a lot, to maintain a connection. In the past, I’ve not been a direct communicator, though I’m teaching myself to be more so and just ask. I’m way more comfortable writing “Love ya!” than having a serious “I love you” conversation. Like the INFP, a lot of my feelings are buried deep inside and not things I discuss with people.

So, to answer your question: FPs are more direct simply because low Te is blunt as hell. They may dance around things but eventually blurt out the truth. Fe is more indirect but also more polite and able to tell people things “nicely” by finding a way to soften it. But you are still going to find FPs who are unclear and indirect, and FJs who are direct and quite clear. So it really depends on the kind of Enneagram type you are dealing with. An EFJ 8 won’t mince words, and an IFP 9 won’t be direct with you.

#question #enneagram #mbti #submission

[austennerdita2533]

I was doing some idle musing on Rory's boyfriends and Austen heroes, and what I came up with was that Jess is part Mr. Darcy and part Frederick Wentworth, and Logan is part Henry Crawford and part (in his best moments) Henry Tilney. Any thoughts?

I think those are good Austen-to-GG-boyfriend classifications all around!

Jess has quite a few of Darcy's social anxieties in that he doesn't seem to like being around large groups of people at once, prefers to keep to himself, and doesn't talk or open up easily. Both characters also have a propensity for being taciturn and standoffish at times. They can rub some the wrong way as a result. In addition to that, they're introverted intellectual individuals who have embarrassing or disappointing relatives (i.e. Lady Catherine, Liz Danes). Their first "I love you" declarations are on par in Disaster Fireworks, too, don't you think? I mean, Darcy point blank calls Lizzie's entire family an embarrassment who is beneath him in social class AND manners and then still excepts her to accept his hand in marriage, which is so unbelievable it's hysterical, and Jess tells Rory he loves her after pulling a cross-country disappearing act that ended their relationship only to disappear AGAIN immediately after he blurts out the words, not even pausing long enough to blink, or like, to roll down his window so she can shout her reply at him as he drives by on his way out of town. It's next level Don't Do This romantic foolishness on both their parts. They deserve an award or a badge of honor or something to commemorate their mutual totally-bungled-that idiocy. 😄

Like Wentworth, Jess is the "suffer in silence" type. (I'd argue he takes after Luke in that way.) They both venture off on their own paths after they experience heartbreak, finding themselves, making something of their lives. For Wentworth, that means going to sea and amassing a fortune. For Jess, it means writing a novella and later working at Truncheon. And clearly they have the whole pining for the girl they love thing in common. Plus, there's that sense of mutual understanding that ripples through those two dynamics. Something that exudes "I know you better than anyone" energy because words aren't always necessary. They fall short. As Wentworth writes in his infamous letter to Anne at the end of Persuasion: "You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others." Jess and Wentworth are able to notice things about Rory, about Anne, that everyone else overlooks. Or plain don't see. The connection they share never truly dwindles no matter how much time has passed, either. It burns beneath the surface like an ember, waiting, flickering softly in the dust of what once was, of what still could be, perpetually on the cusp of catching flame again.

I'd also make an argument for Jess having some Mr. Knightley in him as well. They're both emotionally repressed as hell, for one. The frustration is rife, I'm telling you! Jess has a hard time expressing, sometimes showing, his feelings for Rory and I've always thought that falls in line with Knightley's "if I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more" vibe. And while Jess doesn't lecture in the same way that Knightley does with Emma, he isn't afraid to ask Rory the hard questions, he doesn't hesitate to deliver the harsh truths she needs to hear. Jess challenges Rory to be better, to be true to herself, in the same way that Knightley does with Emma.

Onto Logan now. I definitely see a lot of Henry Tilney in him and a decent amount of Henry Crawford as well. I've always considered Tilney to be Austen's most charming, sociable, good humored, and extroverted hero, and I think that tracks well with Logan. He's also outgoing, seems to have no trouble making friends, and when he puts his mind to it, will and can charm the pants off of almost anyone he meets. (Gilmore grandparents, especially. But he's no slouch with Luke, Lorelai, or Christopher either, is he?) Tilney and Logan are both bright, witty men with active playful minds. I think those traits act as catnip for Rory and Catherine, it's what attracts them. They like the stimulation. The never-know-what-they're-going-to-do-or-say spontaneity. It's adrenalizing emotionally, intellectually, and sexually. Another similarity between the two men is that they each have fraught relationships with their fathers who have an "image" or "expectations" for their sons to uphold. The fathers view their name, or the social strata where they belong, to be superior to that of other people. Tbh, Mitchum Huntzberger and General Tilney should form their own Cad Dad Club because they're both cads. 😂

Henry Crawford and Logan share a considerable amount in common, too. Wit, attractiveness, and considerable charisma aside, they also both come from wealth. They're privileged, entitled, and have essentially had free reign to indulge their whims and vices throughout their lives without many consequences. I think Crawford's more wanton in his exploits with the opposite sex than Logan, though. The man doesn't just flirt he seduces. And he does so without much remorse. Granted, I know Logan was a bit of a playboy, a casanova, or whatever you want to call him, when he and Rory first started up but he commits to her eventually and loves her. He does his best to make her happy. And he is a present, caring, devoted boyfriend most of the time (the bridesmaid shagfest and jetting off to base jump, cliff dive, I forget the specific thing rn when he's upset, notwithstanding) whereas Crawford's feelings/intentions with Fanny are a little more hazy. It's hard to know whether he was actually in love with her or if it was about the chase, since she wasn't responding to his advances in the the way he'd grown accustomed or had hoped she would. Fanny never trusts Crawford. Rory does love and trust Logan, so there's a marked difference there.

In addition to Tilney and Crawford, I also think it could be said that Logan has some of Mr. Willoughby's good traits. They're both passionate individuals, for one, and aren't afraid to show it. They lay it all out there. Go after things. Live life to the fullest. I admire that in both of them. Fanny and Rory needed a little bit of that in their lives, I think. It pushed them out of their comfort zones. In a good, productive way. That said, the men's zest and spontaneity could teeter into recklessness as well, which is behavior they both exhibited in different ways and at different times.

I'm sure I could come up with more if I thought about it longer but that's all I've got for now.

Anyway, thanks for the ask, sweets! This was fun to muse over! xoxo

#stellaluna33 #replies #the loveliest of lovely people #ashlee bree talks gilmore girls and jane austen

[stellaluna33]

what’re your favorite jess and rory scenes and why??

Oh gosh, oh no, I have to prioritize? And make choices? I'm so bad at this! But ok. I'll try. This is in no particular order, just as I think of them, so this isn't RANKED or anything, ok?

The car scene in Teach Me Tonight. Just the way they're open with each other but also... challenging each other, I guess? Rory's really the first person to see Jess as more than just a screw-up, to see the capacity for GOOD in him, but also she holds him accountable for it. She makes it clear that he CAN "do more," but he's going to have to choose it for himself and work for it. If he chooses to make the effort, though? She fully believes he can do great things. And likewise, Jess is similar but almost in reverse, in that he's one of the first people to bring up the fact that what she's planning to do is really HARD. If she really wants it, she's going to have to be tough, and she... isn't, yet. But he still believes she CAN do it, and just the way he picks up on her emotional shift and senses her anxiety spiraling and knows just the perfect balance of encouragement and humor to snap her out of it is just... Ugh. (In a good way. Haha!)

Rory's day in New York. I love how casually they can enjoy each other's company. Jess is so relaxed, his defenses are down and both of them seem like they can finally just be themselves. And I can't get over the innocence of it? Bad Boy Jess finally gets Rory all alone in the Big City with no one else around! What will he do with this sinister opportunity? Apparently, buy her a hotdog and take her to a record store to buy a gift for her mother, and then drop her off at the bus station! They're so sweet together. AND, "This was fate!" "I think it was." KILL ME NOW.

The bridge scene at Bid-a-Basket is similar too, just how freely they talk together, Jess talking about books with no defenses...

THE KISS. The one at Sookie's wedding. It's just... Peak Romance. The LONGING, the catharsis, that little extra zing of angstiness (because they're still Forbidden Lovers and have to be torn apart)... I can watch that over and over and get butterflies every time.

At the end of their dating relationship, both the "22.8 miles" scene and the conversation about prom. This is what they could have been. They're so natural and comfortable with each other and sweet. You get the feeling that they've learned from their mistakes. They just seem so HAPPY and Lane is totally right, because they seem happy in a distinctly "old married couple" sort of way, like they've known each other for years and feel perfectly at home. (I hate it, I hate it! That it got ruined so quickly after that!)

Everything in Balalaikas. Jess is SO GOOD now! And Rory is so proud of him! And he couldn't have done it without her! But I even love the parts with Logan, because the tension is DELICIOUS, and without Logan it would be easy to make the case for "just an old friend." But WITH Logan? Oh no no, with all that tension and jealousy crackling in the air, it becomes VERY clear that Jess is not just a Friend, but a RIVAL. And what is ALSO very clear is that Jess is being portrayed as The Better Man (I've even heard it called "heavy-handed," and by people who weren't Literati shippers, no less). I am just petty enough to feel absolutely GLEEFUL about that! And then of course him snapping Rory out of her spiral and remembering her birthday... So good, so good!

I could probably name more, honestly, but I'll leave it at these for now!

#Gilmore Girls #Literati #Thank you for asking!

[walkingtaetrash]

THOUGHTS ON GILMORE GIRLS:

i have so much to say y’all regarding gilmore girls. I LOVE this show. i have a very tension filled hatred for some parts but most of all LOVE.

after watching seven whole seasons of these girls lives, i have to say i truly understand the complexities of these characters. we’re not even gonna get into the years of a our lives thing, no this is about the freaking original. god, the amount of shit that rory did, lorelai did, chris did, luke did, emily and richard, I MEANNNN god it’s a lot

1. Rory.

gosh this girl was so frustratingly annoying. a perfect gem and pearl in the first year, and then later she becomes a nuisance. but what i truly see is her finally getting out of that naivety/handholding/dewy eyed phase and onto things like being a teen. this girl really stole a boat and got it on her record and what i hated about the show is that they never bring it up again. like that def affected her getting into places bUT NOOOOO. they wanna paint her out as some saint. i think the only sympathy i have to her behavior is that she was growing into who she was. i thought thank goodness Jess screamed at the girl to go back to yale because Logan wasn’t gonna do it!! gosh the whole relationships this girls gone thru, ruining deans marriage, cheating on logan with jess and making jess sad, going back to logan again and again after he treated her like crap? like NO honey that’s toxicityyyyyy. anyways she was annoying but at the end i love her.

2. lorelai.

I LOVE THIS WOMAN. no matter how many times she screwed up i could never stop loving this woman. does this mean i have bias ? YES. sorry y’all. i just related so much to these two. the dynamic of a single mom and her kid spoke so much to me and my mom. but also i am not like lor and rory, i’m more like lor and emily. i have the same mommy issues, caffeine addiction, and a incessant need to ramble on about god knows what. i do not have the sexy, charming wit she has, but i do think i’m funny and i talk a lot (i mean look at this long ass text post) BUT she’s just so beautiful and wonderful. she went thru so much for rory and made her into the kid she is today and just was so understanding. i wish she gave emily grace but at the end like i truly get why she was always so frustrated. there were times where she was excessive but damn it i get her. i love her and luke. why tf did jason happen. also the chris marriage so nasty, but all in all she deserves love and to be cherished.

3. luke

this man holds my heart gosh damn it, i love him. i don’t know why april came into his life, maybe to add some spice. i think he never would’ve forgotten to wear a condom lowkey he’s so responsible. but hey, whatever the show includes. i think he handled that part so well tho , and only fighting for partial custody , i truly loved that. he didn’t wanna make it a big thing cause he knows that april needs her mom, but i thought it was rude that Anna (ew), someone who knew Luke’s character, and knows what kind of guy he is, would not tell him he had a kid. and then expects him not wanna be a dad? like he is the ultimate “i wanna make sure everything’s done right on my end, i’ll always do what i think is right” type of guy. he did that with jess i mean come on. i love his anger about things cause it reminds me of my own dad, and like i wish there was more complexity to him, but i think he repetitive nature suited him. he had a lot of chaos in his life and tranquility in the small things in life like routine and filling the salt shakers really helped him feel grounded and have a sense of control. i love him, the most caring dude in the world, and i would want him on my side in a war.

4. dean

we gotta start somewhere for rory’s boyfriends. i think he was a good first boyfriend, treated her right, but goSH DAMN IT HE WAS SO FUCKING ANNOYING LATER ON. see i even started watching gilmore girls cause jared padalecki was in it, and i was so awestruck by it cause of the characters but DAMN if a character could be even more annoying. dean was not into the things rory was into and they had no spark, but they had comfortability and it was sweet and he helped lorelai out a lot and treated her good, but he legit was so clingy and all that shit later on. and like he wasn’t even trying wiyh life with her in it either and it just frustrated me. he messed up a marriage for her, it’s so wrong man. like ugh.

5. jess

if i could hug someone i would hug him omg. he looks like he smells like those manly colognes, books, and hair products but the fruit scented kind like coconuts and berries that he’s embarrassed to tell you about. gosh he is such a character. i love him so much and he went thru so much as a kid and i wish he never had that scene of pressuring rory cause that was a HUGE ick but all in all, he just had to go to therapy and know he could make it big. i wish they input his story more and that whole outfit at the poetry house thing was vomit, the hair and goatee made me choke i was like this aint you bby boy, but alas they had to make him look like those 2000 poet guys (i mean it was in the 2000’s but i digress) it just wasn’t his leather jacket and jeans look i missed. he was the one who understood rory in all her creative mess. he was the one to spark up that drive for yale again and told her to pursue whatever she wanted (granted i didn’t like how he showed up at her dorm and was like let’s run away together) but he was there for her in the ways he could. he had so much trauma tho that i think it was best they let go of each other and i think if they found each other again later and pursued it it would be beautiful.

6. logan.

i hated him at first yall. i’m so sorry i really did. he was a player, immature, immoral, and annoyingly right about things. rory did not need his influence. they stole a boat together, he wanted her to be out of her comfort zone yes but damn to what extreme? i think after he matured up, it was so beautiful tho. i hate to admit it but i love him now. he grew on me, he truly started caring for rory in a responsible way, he started working, he started realizing he could lose rory, and in the end it was sad she didn’t accept but he took it like a champ. i think he was so ready for it cause he loved her but he couldn’t have expected her to drop all her career options and just go with him to san francisco. i think he should’ve known her well enough but i also get why he didn’t wanna do long distance. i think he connected with her very well. in the way that pointed out her ICKS she never knew she had. she also was a trust fund baby with a rich family and is at Yale and doesn’t have to work through college. i hated that she never acknowledged that and thought she was some fucking hard worker. like yes you study a lot ma’am but you don’t work you’re not someone who knows what it’s like to worry about rent the next day. like damn she had a mom and she had her pool house shit and i also think it was so ungrateful the way she acted towards emily and richard. like they did so much shit for her and she took it for granted. yes they can be extreme but rory needs to be nicer. she is literally another pompous kid who attended an ivy league and she acted so high and mighty in that article ugh. anyways logan was able to show her that hey you have flaws too don’t think you’re perfect but also showed her her TRUE potential. he wanted her on a newspaper and wanted her things to excel and was there with her every step of the way. paid for an apartment, dor a car, and i feel she never really acknowledged that. it was frustrating. but he was frustrating in ways too with the bridesmaid things and the player things and the gambling with Colin and Finn (why did they exist) and yeah. but anyways 9/10

7. christopher hayden.

can i say i fully loathe this man? HATE. i despISE this man. the amount of times he messed up? the amount of times he broke rory and lorelai’s heart?? TOO MANY. he’s a dumb dad and he acts stupid with GG too and i stand by it and sherry is a bitch but damn oh damn did chris get himself in shit. lorelai was ready to marry him and be with him and he went to sherry. SHERRY DIDNT EVEN WANT THE KID. well she did and then it came by and she didn’t and then she left and that was confusing asf. cause she was over here talking rory’s ear off about chris and kids she was the most annoying character ever. hated her . BUT I HATE CHRIS MORE. then lorelai dated luke and pushed her and expected her to be with him and it to be fine. no. and thank god they split but damn the hurt lorelai went thru? it’s embarrassing when luke is the one at the hospital for lor’s dad instead of the husband. anyways it was stupud of him to always try. and then like mess it up between him and rory and act like a dad when he was barely there for her, but either way i’m happy he paid for yale and he’s out of their lives as much as he was in it.

8. emily.

EMILY MY LOVE. you are so stubborn and so conceited but damn do you love your family to the moon and back. this woman was a wife through and through and i have so much respect for her and it’s so weird because i’d never want that for me and it’s so traditional but she’s such a caring woman. only for her blood tho it’s so funny the way she could care less about those around her. um, i hate the rich things ya know the “status, and being poised” thibg but i have to realize it’s becaus of how she was raised and what she was taught was correct. i think lorelai never deserved that uobringing but i think emily tried her best in what she knew. and she tried to be better and wanted to be included in rory and lorelai’s life. even if she was always annoyed by lorelai’s jokes, she knew that was their dynamic and i loved that lorelai agreed to friday night dinners even after rory left it meant so much to her. and i love emily. she loves lorelai so much in her weird and twisted way, she does. that girl would kill for lorelai. i’d move mountains for this woman

9. richard

i needed time to get used to him at the beginning of the season but later on i found that i loved him too. the loving at first about the rory cryibg about yale thing was cute cause it was his first “i’m your grandpa i’d do anything and spoil you silly” event he ever experienced but it was so intense and i totally understood why he coddled her. i wish he didn’t cause it caused all the problems but it was necessary to see his love for her was strong.

they had to find ways in connecting in the beginning with the golf and the hat and books and all that but rory and richard were so close and i love that man. at the end, he saw no use in fighting with lorelai and even laughed at her jokes and was a mediator between emily and lor and the heart attack def did shit to him for him to say he knew lorelai was adored because she turned out to be a great person and that’s why the town loved her, it wa all so cute. i think at the end of the seasons we grow to love richard and emily so much so that we forget all the bad things they did.

kirk.

100000/10 he’s amazing i never would give him up.

enough daid, this show is great i love the complexities and i love the dynamic, the jokes, (some are problematic like the body shaming, r word, culture stereotyping, and sexuality jokes) i think that it was a great show focused on plot. i hated the first episode of the life thing the spin off i forget what it’s called, but you know. they made a lot of “spanish i don’t speak spanish” jokes and there’s barely still any diversity in the cast, and the jokes are so bad like they’re trying to be accepting of the lgbtq+ community but they made jokes so many times in season 7 that it can’t be ignored and like the amount of times they are so stereotypical to the asian community like “rory’s trip to asia”? like that whole episode was so rude with the hello kitty sign, but like idk

it’s a complicated show, i loved it and hated it, i have a love relationship with it that includes such tension it’s toxic. like i’m even hispanic and the whole bit of them not knowing soanish nor thinking they can learn a bit (idk as a inn owner maybe pick up a language/trade?) is not even that effecting to me cause i know them as characters on the show and the girls we grew to love are not like that at all. idk it’s so weird. idk y’all. anyways i finsihed it thank goodness now someone pls recommend new shows :))))

#gilmore girls #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #luke danes #logan huntzberger #jess mariano #me rambling #there’s no end to it #i apologize but i had to let it out #enjoy this lol

[freddieslater]

Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Rory Gilmore x Tristan Dugray (Gilmore Girls)

Requested by @leighpeterson

"We don't have to go." It might be the fifth time Rory's said those words in the last ten minutes. Maybe five.

She's sure it's clear to both of them that they're less of a comfort for Tristan and more pleading with him for her own sake. His smirking smile in response is telling her she isn't doing too well.

"Seriously, it's not a big deal," she lies through her teeth. "My grandparents won't mind us missing the dinner. They know your parents, and your grandparents. Why do they need to know you?"

"Rory Gilmore," Tristan stops walking, hands still stuck in his pockets, his voice teasingly slow, "are you ashamed of me?"

Rolling her eyes and sighing, Rory stops with him, and admits, "I'm just worried."

"About what?" Tristan asks, dropping the act at least partially.

"All of this!" she says, gesturing her hands around them wildly. Between them. "About this. I'm not a good liar. It's hard enough pretending around my mom, but my grandparents? They're gonna think we're in a serious commited relationship, and then they're gonna hate me when we go through with the breakup because they probably already love you, but after tonight, they're going to be planning out our wedding and my baby shower!"

"Oh, have we picked names yet?" Tristan asks, straight-faced. "Because I, personally, love Dean. A fun inside joke to tell them and, someday, the grandkids."

Rory stares at him, incredulous as she just barely regains her breath from the train she chased down the spiralling track in her mind.

"You're so not helping right now."

Tristan laughs, honest to god laughs, like he's having a great time. She's suddenly having flashbacks to the halls of Chilton, seeing him in that uniform, probably leaning against a locker. And teasing her like the idiot he was and still appears to be, only now they're all grown up.

"This was your idea," he reminds her.

"And it was a terrible one!" She throws her hands up. "I admit that! I didn't think this through at all, I just--I just panicked when I saw Dean in New York, and you were right there, and I don't know why but I thought that saying we were engaged made sense, okay?"

"Made sense even though this was the first time we had run into each other since I left Chilton?" Tristan teases again, that grin still perfectly settled on his face.

Rory groans. "Okay, now you're making it sound worse. But, I didn't exactly think that Dean would be going back to Stars Hollow the same day, or that he and Jess were all that close for them to discuss it, or that Jess would tell Luke, and then Luke would tell my mom, okay? It's just a whole big unpredictable mess, and I'm sorry I dragged you into it."

She drops her face into her hands, scrubbing the heels into her eyes to relieve at least a sliver of the tension building behind them and in her temples. It's been a week-long headache and she has a feeling it's about to become a month-longth migraine.

"Hey, you didn't drag me," Tristan says, voice gentle now. He pauses when Rory drops her hands and looks up at him. "Okay, so you kind of did. But, I agreed to pretend we were in a relationship to keep the cover until we could properly "end things", so I promise you that I would not still be here if I didn't want to be."

Rory sighs. She wants to believe him, and she does. But maybe it's just too much. It was a stupid, pointless, immature lie in the first place, and now it's getting out of hand.

"And this is helping me, remember?" Tristan adds, tilting his head to recapture her eyes.

He shoves his hand back in his pocket with a shrug.

"This way, I don't have to admit to my parents that my real girlfriend who they had their hearts set on for a daughter-in-law dumped me because I got fired. Or that I got fired. They'll be far too interested in you as a fan of the Gilmores to question anything else."

"Gee, no pressure," Rory says sarcastically, rolling her eyes. But she smiles, and admittedly, it doesn't feel like such a bad idea when she knows it's benefiting someone.

"Well, maybe not for you, but I've met your grandparents and I am terrified," Tristan jokes.

"Oh, you should be," Rory says. "They have not liked a single one of my boyfriends, never mind me just springing a fiancè on them. You saw my mom's face. Imagine that but twice as hostile."

Tristan looks a tiny bit more worried at that thought, but he brushes it off.

"I'm not worried," he says. "But, uh... does this mean we're actually going to the dinner then?"

Rory thinks about it for a moment. Her options aren't good either way, but from past experience, ripping the band-aid off quickly is better than just ignoring it entirely and hoping it'll peel itself off.

"You say we've been engaged three months and were dating for seven before that," she tells him firmly with a pointed finger, starting to walk again. "No more, no less, or my grandmother will be furious. And we have to stick to the exact same details that we told my mom."

Tristan grins, falling back into step beside her. "Noted. But can we agree this time that I proposed in France? Because, it was a bit awkward last night when your mom asked and I said France while you said Denmark."

"I panicked!" Rory defends. "This is why we discuss things, but oh no, you said there was no point!"

"Well, we're discussing now."

"Fine. France it is, but I swear, if you tried to pull an Eiffel Tower proposal on me, I would've said no."

"Got it. No Eiffel Tower."

#gilmore girls #rory x tristan #trory #rory gilmore #tristan dugray #ggedit #moodboard #aesthetic #ficlet #drabble #rowing the rarepair rowboat #myedit* #fake dating au because yes #leighpeterson

[let-me-write-shit]

Somebody To You: 22

Friendly reminder to please Like and/or Reblog. It helps more than you think! :)

WARNING: Cancer (Zoey can’t catch a break, can she? When it rains, ir pours)

A/N: This chapter was written before the news of Chadwick Boseman. That being said, the news of his passing brings such devastation at a time that is already upsetting. Chadwick wasn’t just an actor, he was a husband, son, friend, and so much more to many others. He dedicated his life to doing better and being better, and in that, I believe he has succeeded. He was resilient, kind, smart, and a true king. He is a true representation of what a HERO is. May he Rest In Peace. 

Word Count: 3,575

Click Here For Previous Chapter & Other Completed Stories

PLEASE let me know what you think

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CHAPTER TWENTY TWO:

“Zoey, get up. We fell asleep.”

The gentle nudges at her side made Zoey groan at the unwanted agitation. She wouldn’t consider herself a morning person. She rolled onto her side to face Harry, his curly mane in disarray, and his eyes still puffy from sleep. He always looked like a child in the morning which she found endearing. But, still half awake herself, Zoey couldn’t quite get a grip on what he was saying. 

He repeated himself, “It’s already 9 AM. If they come to wake us up and see us in the same bed, we’re screwed.”

Screwed? That was harsh. I mean, sure, they hadn’t quite figured out what was going on between them, but aside from Rory, she didn’t see the big deal in their friends knowing what was happening. The thrill of sneaking around was fun, but how long did he expect that to continue? Did he expect it to continue? Or was it going to end as soon as she got on the plane to go home tomorrow? Maybe that’s why he didn’t answer her question last night. What would happen when the vacation was over? 

It was far too early to be over-analyzing. Wordlessly, she slipped into a satin floral tie-front collar dress and white shoes. Zoey felt his eyes on her as she got dressed, but she was still too irritated at his poor choice of words and the sudden wake-up call to pay him too much attention. Besides, he was still naked and she knew that if she turned to look at him she’d forget what made her so annoyed in the first place. His tattoo-riddled body tended to do that to her. 

She brushed her teeth while Harry quickly pulled his clothes on and she peeked out of the room. The coast was clear. Zoey waved him over and he hurriedly snuck passed her, slinking into his room next door to change. Just as Harry had suspected, everyone was already up and finishing breakfast. 

“Oh, Zoey. Good, you’re up. We were just about to wake you,” Nancy grinned, “I guess we just need to wake Harry.”

“I think I heard him talking in his room,” Zoey lied, walking over and helping to get dishes out, “He’ll probably be down soon.”

Sure enough, Harry walked in only minutes later. They took the food outside and talked, but the mood was much different than their previous breakfasts together. Everyone was aware that this was their last breakfast together in Italy. No one was thrilled to be leaving tomorrow morning. Zoey made sure to take extra long looks at the view and tried hard to pay attention to every little thing anyone said or did, scared that she’ll forget this moment. She wanted to take in everything. Every little breeze, scent, change of light when a cloud passed over the sun. She wanted to remember the sounds of the birds mixed with the laughter of her friends and the way the sun cast a golden glow on their cheeks. 

A year ago this wasn’t possible. A year ago she had nothing. No friends, no job, a declining relationship with her boyfriend, in constant pain from the car accident, and saw no hope in her life improving. She had come a long way. And that wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for Jess’s parents and the people she was with. 

She looked over at Harry who was laughing at something her little sister had said and her heart melted, even more, knowing how well he got along with Katie. He even seemed to be on good terms with her parents, having talked to them a few times since being here and hearing them say how well he kept them informed. It seemed weird that he knew her parents without her introducing them, but she wasn’t mad that she got to skip the awkward introductions. 

Then, her mind began to wander. It’s Harry Styles. Harry Styles knows her family. She’s been sleeping with Harry Styles. It doesn’t hit her often that she is friendly with a celebrity, but when it does, it always blows her away, yet she still feels silly for thinking that way. Celebrities shouldn’t be put on a higher pedestal than anyone else. But to her, he was the exception. He just WAS a better person than anyone she’d ever met. And for him to be in his life and know her family was something beyond comprehension.

Was it weird that he knew her family? Was it even weirder that she’d never seen them interact? She never had any intention to introduce her parents to him. She never thought there would be a need. They were only friends, after all. Her parents didn’t need to know everyone she talked to. She had no problem keeping her friendship with Harry a secret. His life was a bit chaotic after all. But things were not getting more serious between them. At least that’s what she thought. 

She began to panic. How was she supposed to act now? Should she talk with her friends and let them in on what’s been going on? Should she talk to Rory? Should she continue to take phone numbers from her patrons at work? Should she be less flirtatious (within reason, because she still needed to get those tips)? What about holidays with family? When they ask her if she’s seeing someone, should she say yes? Would she tell them she had a boyfriend? Did she even have a boyfriend? Would Harry come to Philadelphia for Christmas, or would she go to England? Or would they even celebrate together? 

Maybe she was thinking too much into it. Maybe Harry didn’t want to make things official with her. But if not, why did he act so jealous of Marco and Brett? He couldn’t have her all to himself if he wasn’t going to make things official. She wouldn’t be Rory 2.0. Zoey was certain of her feelings towards Harry. As scary as a relationship with him might seem, she was willing to take the risk. She knew it was too soon to put a label on anything, but she also knew that he needed to figure it out before they got to the point of no return on their friendship. It would be easy to chalk this week up to a ‘crazy vacation high’, but he needed time to process.

The plans for today was to walk around the streets of Italy some more, in a less populated area so that Harry could feel comfortable, and, at 4 PM, they’d go to a vineyard owned by one of his friends for a private tour of the grounds, home-made pizza making, and some wine to end the night. Having a nice, relaxing night sounded like the perfect way to end their vacation.

While on a stroll through a quieter part of the outskirts of the city they found out through online news articles that Harry and Zoey were spotted shopping in Trastevere the day before and even though she was recognized as Rory’s friend and the girl he was spotted with months ago that his fans immediately shot down as ‘just friends’, the tone in the article seemed to be more suspicious this time around since they were seen alone together in a different country together. This admittedly delighted her, although she acted as though it was funny and amusing so her friends wouldn’t catch on. 

There were a few instances while walking along cobblestone paths and stopping at local street vendors that Harry had nearly grabbed her hand. He’d always play it off by just tugging at her arm to show her something or make up a random quip, but it was getting harder and harder to hide their affection which just confused her even more. How, in a matter of a week, did they go from being strictly just best friends to unable to keep their hands off of each other? 

Andy was the only one that seemed suspicious and he made it obvious that he was onto them as they dragged behind the rest of the group, linking arms and sipping some tea as they strolled. 

“Don’t think I don’t see the eyes you two are making at each other,” he whispered, “You wanna tell me anything?”

Zoey took a sip of her tea, desperately trying to regulate her breathing and avoid blushing, “No, I still have no clue what’s going on,” she admitted, not entirely lying, though failing to explain everything. She needed to talk to someone about this. Normally she’d talk to Harry, but seeing as though it was about him and every time she tried to talk he was every bit as confused as her, it wasn’t much of a help. She’d told herself she wasn’t going to nag him but would need to see how everything played out once they got home and had time to think separately.

The day continued as normal and the group made a brief stop back at the house to drop off the items they had purchased on their outing before heading over to Harry’s friend’s vineyard for the tour and pizza making. After the few incidents where Harry almost grabbed Zoey’s hand, he made a conscious effort to avoid being near her and stuck beside Nancy and Rory for most of the shopping trip and even during the tour of the ground, terrified he’d make Zoey uncomfortable by making his interest in her too obvious while still being concerned that he was moving too fast or making the wrong decision in trying to pursue his best friend. A voice in the back of his head kept repeating, ‘This isn’t going to work’ over and over again as it did with any new development in his love-life. 

Occasional glances over at Zoey who listened intently during the tour while laughing and smiling with Katie and Andy made his heart flutter. Every time he looked at her she seemed to radiate warmth from within that hypnotized him and he found that he needed to forcibly pry his gaze from her. How did she do it? How could she completely captivate him without any effort or knowing? 

Once the tour was over they were taken to the main house kitchen and gathered around a large workbench where they began their pizza-making. The Italian man laid out all of the ingredients for the dough and taught them how to properly knead and roll them out. Everyone was laughing at each other. Harry’s wasn’t turning out too badly, but he couldn’t say the same for everyone else. Flour was everywhere by the time toppings were decided upon and they carefully placed their pizza in the wood-burning oven and were given the okay to wander the house and grounds by the owner while their pizzas cooked. 

Andy and Rory headed in the direction of the front yard while Nancy, Katie, and Zoey headed towards the back gardens. Harry quickly caught up to them, tugging at the back of Zoey’s dress. She turned, still smiling at something Nancy had said, and her eyebrows raised at the sight of Harry.

“Oh, hey. Long time no see,” she joked, and he knew she was referring to him practically avoiding her all day, “Are you joining us?”

“Uh….yeah,” he stuttered, noticing Nancy and Katie’s eyes on him now. 

They continued walking further into the garden, different types of trees spacing out between batches of rose bushes and other foliage. He wanted to talk to her alone, but he didn’t know how to make it too obvious. Luckily, like always, she seemed to know what he was thinking and dragged behind her roommate and sister while Katie talked some more about her friends at home and how excited she was to be starting college soon. Nancy was too busy giving her advice and a pep talk to notice.

“You okay?” Zoey whispered, looking up at him with her dazzling navy blue eyes.

Her look seemed to calm him down and he nodded, “Just haven’t spent much time with you today. I’m going to miss this when we leave tomorrow.”

Zoey nodded solemnly, glancing to make sure her sister and her roommate were still too preoccupied, “I’m kind of sad that it’s over. It feels like all of this is ending.”

“All of what? The vacation, or…?” Harry trailed, but by the look she gave him, he understood it to mean whatever was happening between the two of them. And he couldn't lie, he was afraid to leave for that very reason. He wanted to stay in his little vacation bubble where he and Zoey could continue what they were doing without too much fear of the outside world interfering, only worrying about their small little friend group finding out. But that’s not how life worked for Harry Styles. It could only be hidden for so long. 

Before he could say anything, a phone began to ring. Katie and Nancy both stopped, reaching in their pockets and pulling out their phones, but it wasn’t them. Zoey looked next and he looked over her shoulder to see ‘Michael’ displayed on the screen. To his satisfaction she declined the call and slipped it back in her pocket, muttering an apology to the two girls when her phone rang again. Harry remembered what she said the last time her ex called while he was in the room. Michael normally didn’t try to reach her multiple times in a row unless it was important, so Harry knew she’d answer.

“Go on, I’m right behind you,” Zoey nodded to them and they continued walking. Harry, though, stayed right by her side. And when she realized he wasn’t going to walk away, she rolled her eyes with a smirk and answered the phone.

“Hey, Mikey. What’s up?” she asked, her voice going up a few octaves. She felt a bit awkward to be talking to her ex-boyfriend while the guy she had been sleeping with was inches away, but she figured the conversation would be quick and he was probably only calling because her birthday had just passed.

“Hey, Zo-bo. Sorry I didn’t call on your birthday. I was trying to avoid reaching out, but I felt like a dickhead,” he laughed.

Zoey chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “It’s fine.”

“So what did you do? Anything fun?”

“Yeah, I’m actually in Italy right now. My friends surprised me with a trip and flew Katie out, too.”

“Oh, no shit? Italy? That’s amazing and so nice of them.”

“I know, I was so surprised. We head back home tomorrow, I’m sad to be leaving. But I’m glad Katie got to come with.”

“I’ll bet. You’ll have to tell me all about it,” Michael said. And then there was silence. She knew Michael well enough to know that that’s not all he wanted to say. There was something else on his mind that was bothering him and he was trying to find the words. And like clockwork, an uncomfortable muttering began, “So, that’s not the only reason I called.”

His voice sounded serious. More worried. And a lump formed in her throat, afraid of what he was going to say. “Is everything alright?” she asked, warily. But she knew it wasn’t. Something was wrong. Harry seemed to notice her discomfort and so did the two girls as they stopped walking, turning to face her.

“It’s my dad. He, uhm,” his voice was shaky and he tried to hide it by clearing his throat, “His cancer. It spread.”

Zoey’s mouth fell and her heart dropped. This was the last thing she expected to hear. Zoey wasn’t around when Paul had gotten his diagnosis, but he had undergone aggressive treatment right around the time they first started dating. She had seen the toll it had taken on their family and the impact it had on how they treated each other with so much love and respect. It brought them closer together. Paul had an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer and was lucky enough to have been doing well under treatment. And although they were warned that growth was a possibility, she had never expected it to have gotten worse so quickly. It had been five years since the diagnosis, but she was under the impression that he was getting better.

Zoey didn’t know what to say. Throughout their relationship, she had gotten extremely close to Paul. She even called him Pops. The thought of something bad happening to him seemed almost too much to handle. She still wasn’t over Jess’s death, how would she handle Paul? She didn’t want to assume, but by the sound of Michael’s voice, she knew that it was serious. He wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t. And although she didn’t want to ask, she knew she had to.

“How bad is it?” 

Michael cleared his throat again, “They’re giving him three months.”

Zoey’s vision went spotty before it went black and her knees trembled, grabbing onto Harry’s arm so she wouldn’t fall. Instinctively Nancy and Katie lunged forward, grabbing onto her waist and arms to offer even more support, everyone still unsure what was going on. So many questions ran through her mind. How? How did it come back so quickly? How did they not catch it sooner? How had it become so aggressive that he was only given three months to live? Had he not been going to his appointments like he was meant to? Knowing how stubborn Paul was, she considered that likely.

“He’s here if you want to talk to him,” Michael offered.

“Yes. Please,” Zoey said, regaining her strength and standing up straighter.

Harry, Nancy, and Katie shared concerned and unsure glances at each other until Zoey spoke again, her voice changing tones, more childlike and warry, “Hey, Pops. How are you feeling?”

Harry noticed Katie’s expression change. She no longer seemed confused, but her concern only seemed to grow. Pops? Who was Pops? She knew that’s not what she called her dad, and only one of her grandfathers was alive who she called Grandpa. Besides, why would Michael be with her family? He could see the beads of water forming at her waterline and worried what was going on. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good news. He tried his best to listen as Zoey continued to speak.

“Thank you, yes I’m having a great time...I know, I’m sorry it’s been so long….I miss you, too….”

She was trying her best to put on a brave tone, but Harry heard the cracks in her voice. It was hard to be jealous of whatever kind of relationship she had with Michael and whoever ‘Pops’ was when she was so obviously distressed.

“Yes, I’m supposed to be leaving for LA tomorrow, but I can change my flights and head back home with my sister….No, don’t worry about it, I’m sure my boss will understand….I love you, too, Pops….Yes, go get some rest, could you put Mikey back on the phone?.... Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

What could be so bad that she had to change flights and go back to Philadelphia? Harry tried to search Katie’s eyes, attempting to see any hint or clue of what was going on, but it didn’t seem to have the same impact that it did with Zoey. He could almost always tell what Zoey was thinking, but it didn’t work for her sister. 

Zoey updated Michael on her plan to change flights and head back home, “She’s not supposed to be landing until 10 PM tomorrow, but I can come over first thing the following morning.”

“Okay, sounds good. I’m sorry for all of this. I didn’t mean to ruin your vacation.”

“Stop, you didn’t ruin anything. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

“Thanks,” he sniffled. “Is Katie there with you?”

“Yeah, she’s right here.”

“Maybe I should let her know what’s going on. Can I talk to her?”

Zoey knew that Michael and Katie kept in contact. Even though they weren’t super close to begin with, he was still a part of her life for a long time and always treated her nicely, bringing her little gifts for valentines day or Christmas so that she’d feel special, and always talking to her like an adult, which Katie always appreciated, especially considering their parents treated her like a child. 

Zoey extended her phone towards her sister and Katie quickly grabbed it, pulling it to her ear, “How bad is it?” she immediately asked. Katie was smart. She knew what was going on. 

A small gasp was audible as she listened to Michael speak and Zoey looked up into Harry’s eyes. There it was. The spark he always had with her that let him read her mind. He knew she wanted to talk to him alone. It was something that she couldn’t have an audience for. Nancy seemed to understand that this was serious, and she knew that Zoey only felt comfortable talking to Harry about serious things, so she nodded and whisked Katie away to give the two of them some privacy. His heart ached for her. Whatever it was breaking her heart and although he didn’t know what was going on, he knew that she was going through more in such a short period than most people can handle. 

KEEP READING

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