#death!cas would also be fun with canon

[dotieeee]

The Gamemaker's Apprentice

Level 16

Pairing: Dark!Young!Coriolanus Snow x You, named!Reader

Overall Warnings:

NON-CON, DUB-CON, Dark!Young!Coriolanus Snow, Snow himself should be a warning, lots of blackmailing, gaslighting, manipulation, obsession, possesiveness, eventual forced marriage, eventual loss of virginity, breeding kink, canon-compliant major character death, reader is named but has no physical descriptions in the fic so one might also consider her an OC but in 2nd POV, will have canon inconsistencies, drugging, somnophilia, and other stuff that may be added

Masterlist

Level 16 Warnings:

Non-consensual dom-sub dynamic (belt-flogging), alcoholic consumption, bullying

Replay Level 15

Ready? Level 16 Start:

You didn’t really want to be here. Not at all, no sir.

You were a big fan of routine. Every day from Monday to Friday, Ms Rosenthal would come by at your home to supervise your studies. You’ve heard her compliment you many times to Uncle Cas about how you’re quite a few levels too advanced for children your age; you’ve been getting perfect scores in all your arithmetic tests; your reading and writing skills are superb.

Two months ago, however, Uncle had decided to take a pause on the routine and mentioned it was perhaps time to try something new: going to school for a day to see how you’d like it. This, you didn't understand. You’ve been doing exceptionally well with your studies, kept your nose clean and everything – so how come Uncle had to disrupt the way things were just because your psychologist told him to?

“Nellie is just eight and she needs to spend time with people her age, Mr Innis. She may be intellectually gifted, but besides her tutoring sessions, you may want to see her enrolled in any of our elementary schools and be around with other kids to prevent emotionally stunted growth.”

According to your research, the psychologist just called you aloof and immature.

But Uncle Cas pleaded that you give this day a chance. Just this first day of school, and he said if you didn’t like it, he wouldn’t pressure you to stay.

So far, except for odd stares from the other kids on the playground, you’d been left alone on a stone bench reading a book you had brought for comfort.

Algebra I For Beginners.

You wanted to be like your uncle working with computers one day, and he said if you wanted a leg-up, Algebra was the way to start. You took out a notebook and a pencil, intending to begin with an equation on page thirty-one, when you spotted several kids convening around the base of one of the slides, whispering among themselves. One of them, the blonde girl with pigtails in the middle, pointed to someone on the swing – a boy with thick brown curls and downcast brown eyes – followed by everyone else’s laughter. Anyone from a distance like yours could easily see that they were making fun of him for whatever reason – all of them except the tall boy with blond wavy locks and bright blue eyes, who ignored both the laughter and the boy on the swing, merely hanging back to observe. There was something a tad snobbish in his facial expression, but you couldn’t really tell. Maybe that’s just how he usually looked. You’d later discover how correct your initial assumption would be.

One of the kids, you didn’t see who, pelted the boy with brown curls with a pebble, but it hit the sand near him, loud enough to attract his attention.

From across the short distance you heard one of them say, “Hey, is it true they eat babies in the districts?”

Everyone, save the blond boy, burst into raucous laughter and went on to call him names you’ve only heard on television before, which made you frown a bit.

The boy was clearly minding his own business. Why would they bother him at all by calling him needlessly cruel names?

You abandoned your book and your bag and approached them.

“Excuse me,” you politely interjected. “What did he do?”

The girl with pigtails in the middle said, “Who are you?”

“That doesn’t matter,” you said.

They whispered among themselves, which you only caught glimpses of.

“You think she’s District too?”

“She doesn’t sound like it…”

“I haven’t seen her before…”

One of them quipped, “He’s District. Are you?”

“That shouldn’t matter, either. Everyone should be treated fairly.”

“You know what my father calls your type? A rebel s-sin..synthesiser,” a brown-haired girl said with contempt.

“I think the correct word would be ‘sympathiser,’” you replied with a tilt of your head, which earned an eye roll from the girl.

“Whatever, freak,” she said snootily. “Ugh, I’m leaving, this isn’t fun anymore.”

Everyone in the group groaned but they dispersed. The blond boy, however, stared at you with mild interest, which he tried to hide using a blank expression. You ignored him in favour of talking to the brown-haired boy – he could’ve stopped his ‘friends’ from calling him terrible names, but instead, he just stood back and did nothing.

“Don’t mind them,” you gave him what you thought was a friendly smile. “They’re all just huge shitbags.”

Both the boys seemed taken aback by your language. Your uncle always had to tell you not to say things like that, but you hear him use that kind of language all the time, especially in the kitchen. “My name is Prunella Innis. You can call me Nellie.”

You held out your hand to the brown-eyed boy, which he shook tentatively.

The blond boy confidently strode over to you and took out his palm. “Coriolanus. Coriolanus Snow.”

“Hi,” you flashed him the same smile and shook his hand lightly. You then turned to the other boy, who got out of his perch on the swing and introduced himself, sniffling.

“My name’s Sejanus Plinth.”

“I know,” Coriolanus said matter-of-factly. “I heard your family just moved to the Capitol.”

The boy named Sejanus nodded, but there was something sad behind his eyes. To try and make him feel better, you said, “Sejanus, huh? Mine did about two years ago.”

Both the boys gave you surprised looks; you shrugged it off and said, “So what? It certainly didn’t do my parents any favours.”

Sejanus actually cracked a smile, but Coriolanus’s real expression remained masked behind what you could tell was a fake smile.

A word you recently learned, ‘elitist,’ crossed your mind. You’d discover much later that assumption too, would be correct.

“You’ve been here since the middle of the war? I haven’t seen you in school before,” the curious blond asked.

“I’m homeschooled.” And if you had anything to say about it, you liked it better that way.

Sejanus bashfully showed a tiny brown bag. You peered inside and saw gumdrops. Your uncle didn’t hoard gumdrops as much as he did with chocolates, so you suspected that he didn’t like them very much. You took one, saying ‘thank you’, and Coriolanus took some after you.

“Am I going to see you around?” Sejanus asked you, looking somewhat hopeful.

Your smile faltered a little. “Probably not.”

Sejanus’s brows drew together. “Why not?”

“My uncle says I don’t have to stay if I don’t like it. And I’ve decided that I don’t.”

“So you’re going to keep studying…at home?” Coriolanus wondered with a tone that sounded like it was a foreign concept to him.

“Yes.”

You smiled at them both and went back to your bench to pick up where you left off in the book. Your uncle emerged not much later from the building with an expectant look on his face. That look immediately morphed into exasperation once he saw you begin packing your bag.

“Let me guess: the place didn’t even stand a chance.”

Nodding, you added, “The kids here are hostile; therefore I think the environment may be cutthroat.”

Your Uncle Cas sighed to himself and commented under his breath, “You know, sometimes I think your vocabulary is a punishment for my past actions…”

Ignoring this, you glanced up at your uncle with an innocent grin and asked, “So, do we get ice cream after?”

“A big, whopping ‘no.’ Not a damn chance.”

Uncle Cas only laughed at the pout on your face, but you glanced back at the boys named Sejanus and Coriolanus, nodding farewell to them both. The corner of Coriolanus’s mouth twitched upwards and Sejanus gave you a small wave. Your gaze lingered just a little on Sejanus’s warm brown eyes.

You would see both of them again in a few years’ time, but that little girl walking away from the schoolyard didn’t yet know that the boys would remain a permanent fixture in her life: one of them, taking her heart with him to his grave, and the other, forcibly twining with and shaping her entire future for the worse.

Nine fifty-eight on a Friday night is quite a busy time for Club She Said. The girls-only membership club is already packed with well-dressed rich Capitol women with pretty drinks in their hands, chattering about and giggling among themselves. The company whom you invited seems to have arrived surprisingly earlier than you have and is sitting at the bar seemingly engaged in a lively conversation with the lady bartender.

“You’re early,” you comment as you take the seat beside her.

“It’s called ‘growth. You should try it sometime, it wouldn’t hurt,” Livia Cardew jabs at you as she sips her drink.

Your maid of honour, casually dissing you. You roll your eyes in mild amusement as she orders a drink called The Dark Lady on your behalf – a blackberry-lemon smash – and say, “This is a nice place. It feels cosy and...safe.”

Your eyes dart around the club, spotting nothing but female staff – waitresses, DJs, bouncers – plus the numerous cliques who seem to be having a blast catching up with their girlfriends over drinks without the presence of their male partners. You’re thankful Livia chose this place on your behalf – even with your fiancé’s money and influence, this is a place he’ll never be allowed to enter.

Livia grinned smugly at your compliment. “Well, with your ridiculous time limit, I figured we both deserve to spend it wisely and without your boyfriend breathing down your neck.” She gives you a dead-eyed look and adds, “Honestly, he’s the only man I know who gives his girl just a measly one hour and thirty minutes to be out and about on a Friday night. So, unless he’s horny and he wants to fuck all the time, he’s just being an ass.”

This, you can’t agree more.

The lady bartender arrives with your drink, elegantly presented in a tall, slender glass, garnished with fresh blackberries and a lemon wedge. You thank her and turn to Livia to reply, “What can I say, I hit the jackpot. Oh my, this is amazing.” You had just taken a sip of the drink, which is by far the best you’ve ever had, to which the bartender beams in thanks.

Livia lets out screech of excitement. “Wait till you try Better Than Sex...”

She then proceeds to explain the drink’s etymology in great detail – a drink made of coffee liqueur, chocolate liqueur, full-cream milk and cherry grenadine, garnished with whipped cream and chocolate shavings. She goes on from She Said’s cocktails to showing you photos of bridesmaids’ gowns which she fishes out of her purse.

“I think this one fits your theme best,” she says as she points to a photo. “Besides, I look fucking fabulous in that colour and cut.”

Then she starts pointing out to you who’s sleeping with whom in the club, right before she jumps into the topic of arranging your bachelorette party.

“What? Absolutely not,” you say. Images of you passed out, drunk, and being hauled home by a displeased Coriolanus cross your mind. You shiver inwardly in horror at the idea.

“And why not?” she retorts, clearly outraged. “How could you fucking pass on your own hen party? That’s like, the hen’s only chance to have a bit of fun before the cock locks her in a cage and throws away the key. Pun totally intended.”

She takes a long swig of her drink and holds out a pointer finger for emphasis. “Read: by ‘fun,’ I meant strippers.”

With your eyebrows raised, you shake your head and respond, “Try mentioning that when he’s around and see if you get more than the icy stare.”

“Oh, boo-hoo. He used to hire escorts all the time. Honestly, he’s such a hypocrite.”

It takes you quite a bit of convincing for her to finally drop it and relent.

“Ugh, fine. Forgive me for trying to take my role seriously,” she sighs as she rolls her eyes dramatically and curls her lips in mock disapproval. “Don’t blame me down the line if you start feeling unfulfilled for not trying out other dicks for size.”

The lady bartender brings another round of cocktails for two, and you both clink your glasses together before sipping. This is the most alcohol you’ve consumed not just in one night, but also your entire life. You haven’t even gone through your second glass halfway and you’re already feeling the proverbial buzz.

“Okay, Innis. Spill. I know you didn’t invite me out for drinks just to shut down my hen party-hosting skills. Plus, we’ll get to meet at that cake-tasting thing tomorrow anyway. What is this about, for real?” Livia, ever the sharp one, rests her chin on the back of her hand and stares at you inquisitively.

You meet her gaze nonchalantly and reply, “Nothing. I was just bored. Can’t wait to try the cakes out.”

There is truth to that, somehow, because aside from the wedding preparations, college classes, and Coriolanus dragging you along to these events he’s always invited to, he still hasn’t allowed you to freely roam the city, perhaps fearing you’d attempt to contact your uncle and make a run for it again.

Livia squints her eyes at you while inching closer and not breaking eye contact. “You’re a good liar,” she concludes, leaning back into her seat and nodding in approval. “I like it.”

She gestures to the bartender for another round of drinks – your eyes widen when you realise she just ordered shots – and says with a mischievous grin as they arrive, “Luckily for me, I have methods of extracting valuable information – methods, mind you, that have, so far, yielded me with satisfactory results.”

You shake your head in mirth, accepting the drink from her. She raises her glass as if taking you on a challenge.

“Mark my word: you are going to fold, Innis.”

“Bite me, Cardew.”

Both of you burst into fits of laughter and throw your heads back in unison as you empty the shot glass. Two more of those and eventually you tap out of the drinking spree, earning the scathing comment ‘lightweight’ from your drinking buddy, who isn’t too far from your level of tipsiness despite what she brags about. You decide to order a basket of bacon-jalapeño poppers to nibble on, and you manage to get through half the basket before Livia takes it away and places it behind her, well beyond your reach.

“Easy on the grease, will you please?”

You pout. “Hey, I wasn’t done with that.”

She just replies with a frown, “Watch your figure. Tigris won’t like it if she makes adjustments to your dress at the last minute.”

You finish off the piece you’re holding with a single bite and lean on the bar with a slumped posture.

“Or not. You know, maybe if you let yourself go, your boyfriend might just – ”

“It’s Sejanus’s second death anniversary tomorrow.”

A pause passes between you two, with Livia staring at you as if she doesn’t know how to react or what to say to what you just blurted without warning.

“‘District boy?’” When you shoot her a half-hearted glare, she corrects herself, her tone a little more mellow, “Sorry, force of habit. And not to be a bitch, but why do you care?”

Why, indeed? The first year, you had no trouble going through, but the second somehow seems like another empty hole in your heart, slowly growing and gnawing away at the rest of it. Like all the aches you experienced just a few months after his death has come back in full force.

“Shit.”

Livia’s curse is followed by a slump in her posture as she leans on the bar and processes the information. “So, you really love him.”

“I do. Or did. I don’t know anymore.”

She motions for two glasses of water which arrives instantly. You’re only too happy for something without any trace of booze in it and drink the entire glass in one go.

“So, you called me here,” your drinking buddy says carefully, “Because you don’t know what to do and you can’t really talk to your boyfriend about it because he’d get jealous.”

Once again, she’s spot-on. Except she missed the part where you suspect that your boyfriend might’ve also killed him. You give her just a single look and she instantly confirms her hypothesis.

“He won’t get jealous; he’ll just shut me down.”

“That’s the same thing.” She sighs audibly and stares at you sombrely.

“You’re a sucker for self-punishment, you know that?”

You merely shrug in response.

“I’m not invalidating your feelings and shit, but this isn’t helping you at all in this Snow-situation.” Livia empties the last remaining shot glass. “I know you miss him, okay? It’s pretty clear. But that’s not going to bring him back. Just because your first love is gone and you’re stuck with your sociopathic fiancé doesn’t mean you have to be miserable.”

Livia gives you a look that can only mean ‘get your shit together’ and orders one more set of cocktails. When they arrive, she takes one for herself and hands you the other.

“But that also doesn’t mean we can’t toast to his memory.”

You take the glass and raise it. “To Sejanus Plinth.”

She copies your movement, muttering, “To your District Lover Boy, Sejanus Plinth.”

You both empty your glasses at the same time and you almost slam the glass back on the table. Never in a lifetime did you ever think toasting to your dead friend over a fruity-boozy drink could feel so cathartic, but here you are.

“There. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, get your shit together, Innis. You’re smarter than that.”

Despite her harsh reprimand, you find yourself chuckling, to which she just rolls her eyes, smirking exasperatedly.

“You know, he gives me so much grief for asking you to be my maid of honour.”

Livia lets out a shriek of glee. “I’d pay a fortune to have seen his reaction when you told him.”

“Oh, he was beyond m-miffed.” Your words are beginning to slur, indicating you probably had way too much of your capacity. “I was jus’ wondering why you accepted. Curious, ‘is’all.”

“If you’re asking if I’m over’im – ” her own garbled words are interrupted by her loud burp, which startles the waitress passing by – “Yes, I am. I’m over him, swear. But if I can get laid while I’m at it, why the fuck not, right?”

Guffawing, she adds, “Jus’ wanna see him suffer. ‘Magine the guy losing you? He’d spiral the fuck down. Honessly, I tried, m’kay? All this wedding prep – I already bumped into him sooo many times, made a loooot of passes, but no-ooo, he only has eyes for you.”

Side-eying you in jest, she adds, “No accounting for taste.”

You giggle. You actually giggle along with her as she shoves your arm playfully. Then, both of you share a look and dart like lightning to the washroom, throwing up in separate cubicles in unison. Having let some of that out, you begin feeling just a tad better even if the buzz still lingers.

You’re on the sink washing your hands when you notice the time on your watch.

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“I have to go.” According to the time, you’ve gone thirty minutes over your fiancé’s time limit.

Livia lets out a groan as she emerges from her stall. “Yeah, me too. I’m so hammered. I already paid, you get the next one. And you better not pull a District and go cheap on me, Innis.”

“Trust me, Cardew. When I pay, you can go drown in it for all I care.”

She snorts in laughter on the way outside the She Said Club, where she says her driver is waiting in the parking lot.

“Look sharp, Innis. Your executioner has arrived,” she mutters so only you can hear.

True enough, you look into the icy blue glare of Coriolanus Snow, leaning against the service car door, the stone-cold smile on his face concealing his ire.

“Did you have fun, sugarplum?” he says as he approaches.

From behind you, Livia fakes a retching noise.

You, however, are rooted to your spot as you try your best to appear sober.

“Livia, pardon me, but I have to take my fiancée home.” Coriolanus’s falsely cheery tone is disarming, as usual.

“You heard him. To the gallows, you go.” Livia pats you on the back and mumbles a ‘good luck’ under her breath before addressing the male. “See you both tomorrow. Try not to tire her out too much tonight, will you, Coriolanus? She can’t miss this; you know how she lo-oooves cakes. Loves them.”

Inwardly, you groan the way she just tries to rile him up, but he seems to keep a level head as always. In fact, he goes on to give her a wider grin.

“You shouldn’t concern yourself too much with what my fiancée and I do behind closed doors, Livia, and I am well aware how important this is for her.”

Livia just blows a loud raspberry in his direction before getting inside her car and driving off. A firm, large hand immediately grips your arm and the now stern voice of your fiancé chills your blood.

“Come, Nellie. We will talk when we get home.”

And you all but get shoved into the car before it drives you both home, where you suspect he might just pop off.

To the gallows, you go, alright.

Coriolanus Snow had never thought he’d see you again, but here you were, in the same year as him and in his class, sitting just a few seats before him to his right, listening aptly to Professor Cecil drone on about a linear equation on the board that he was well aware you’d be able to solve blindfolded and with hands tied behind your back.

You had left an impression on him when he met you in that playground all those years ago. Even if he remembered you using such colourful language unbecoming of a girl, there had already been something behind your eyes and in the way you spoke that he couldn’t pinpoint then.

He'd later discover the correct adjective: erudite.

Everything about you perplexed him to no end: your perfectly natural Capitol accent, your exemplary manners, your sharp wit, your gifted mind…

Your District origins.

Coriolanus had never thought someone of your calibre could emerge from such a place, yet here you were: an enigma he didn’t know what to feel about.

Festus elbowed him discreetly, distracting him from his thoughts and passing a crudely written note.

u crushing on district-homeschool freak?

Festus sniggered behind a closed fist to avoid drawing attention to himself. Coriolanus grinned imperceptibly and wrote down below the scribble a tasteful reply before handing it back to him:

Fuck off, kindly

The note comes back with more of Festus Creed’s infamous chicken-scratch handwriting:

really pretty though. too bad she’s district.

Coriolanus crumpled the note and tossed it in his bag and went back to staring at the back of your head.

Now, Festus’s former observation he could firmly attest to. You were undeniably easy on the eyes and considered one of the prettiest in his class. Over the next few weeks, he would find out that even the boys in the upper class agreed, with the way they would throw stares at you when you walk by them in the hallways. Unfortunately, he can’t confirm the part about you being District; you weren’t really forthcoming about your personal life to anyone yet. He’s heard of rumours circulating about you being born to a former Capitol actress, though, so the thought that maybe you’re not even District. Maybe someone else spread the idea of your District roots out of jealousy, and maybe you hinting at them when he first met you was just a way to make the real District rat feel good about himself.

Because if you were indeed not of Capitol origins, then that meant the Districts had the capacity to produce more children like you, which they could one day weaponise to try and overthrow the government once more. An army of district kids like you, putting the ones like Arachne, for instance, from the Capitol to shame…

Coriolanus shuddered at the thought.

He’d later discover another aspect of you: that underneath your well-mannered demeanour, you hid what he can only describe as intellectual savagery.

It was lunch break sometime in the first semester. You were alone at a table as usual, declining the nicer girls’ offer of sitting with them at their table.

Coriolanus sat with Festus Creed, Sejanus Plinth, and some of his other male classmates were sitting just a few tables away when Arachne Crane, for whatever reason, had just decided to cause a scene in her usual fashion, backed up by Juno and her other lackeys. The group seemed to have come from the Talent Show rehearsal and approached your table looking just about as menacing as a pack of squirrels ganging up on a rattlesnake.

“Hey, district-homeschool freak,” he heard Arachne call out, as she leaned on your table.

Coriolanus saw a hint of danger flash in your eyes before you stood with grace and an uncannily calm air.

“Oh, so she thinks she’s so tough, huh?” one of the girls quipped behind their leader, but he didn’t see who it was.

“Not at all. I’m just supposed to stand when somebody’s addressing me,” even your tone came off as non-confrontational. “It’s called courtesy, you might’ve heard of it.”

Arachne sneered. “Is that what they teach you at home? What else did they teach you, how to fold your laundry? How to be more submissive to your future husband?” The group laughed with her in a jeering manner.

Plastering a cold smile, you responded, “On the contrary, Arachne, they teach me Algebra II. We’re currently on the radian measure which you wouldn’t know because you’re not on that level yet. I could ask you what they teach you here, but judging by the way you talk, I’d say not that much. In fact, I fear for the state of the Capitol Academe.”

Arachne’s eyes narrowed at the insult. “Just because you have money for tutors doesn’t mean you’re smart.”

“True,” you said. “Money can’t buy intellect.”

“Well, it can’t buy class, either,” Arachne countered a little more loudly.

“I know. I can tell,” you said, clearly unfazed by her increasingly hostile behaviour. “Because you clearly have neither of the two. Are we finished?” You took a quiet, demure sip from your juice pack, before continuing, “Because this is boring me. That’s great Talent Show material, by the way: boring people to death.”

Arachne hid her hurt by scoffing, muttering, “Come on, this is pathetic.”

As they left you alone, you sat back down with the grace of a princess and continued your lunch like nothing happened. Festus kicked him under the table, grinning obnoxiously, and said, “What’s the matter, Snow? Scared that she’ll bite?”

Coriolanus curled his lips in a challenge and kicked him back, while the rest of the table chuckled, still in disbelief at what they just witnessed. He could’ve sworn it was this very moment that made you earn his classmates’ respect, even if you eventually revealed your underlying intolerance for blood and gore during a Hunger Games rerun in History class.

With his eyes glued on you across the mess hall, he couldn’t deny that the way you maintained your cool while hurling witty insults was a form of art you seemed to have mastered.

Later on, he would have his first proper conversation with you in an empty classroom when he arrived earlier than he had planned for a math period. You had been there earlier than he was, your razor-sharp focus on a fourth-year pre-calculus problem written on the board, your arms crossed in full-concentration mode. He watched you take a piece of chalk and attempt to correct what seemed like a solution written by a student.

It took him ten seconds. Ten seconds before he could stop himself and break the silence.

“What made you change your mind about attending school?” Coriolanus asked.

“Hello to you, too,” you turned to face him with a smile momentarily before shifting back your attention to the problem on the board. “Psychologist’s orders. She said I needed to spend time with people my age.”

As if he wasn’t already curious about you – or at least, matters concerning you – you had to add this to the mix.

“Why are you in freshman year?”

“As opposed to what, being locked up in an insane asylum? They have pretty rigorous qualifications that I haven’t met yet.”

It was this moment that he decided he liked your humour immensely. Coriolanus let out a genuine laugh, and you turned to grin at him before you writing a few more lines and returned the piece of chalk to the side of the board.

“No, I meant, why aren’t you in a higher year?” He clarified. “That’s clearly senior-level material.”

“It’s just math,” you shrugged. “Outside that, I’m just like everyone else.”

“I highly doubt that,” a voice said.

You both turned to the voice at the same time to find Sejanus Plinth standing at the classroom doorway.

Ah yes. The District rat.

Now, Coriolanus could confirm that he was, beyond a reasonable doubt, full-blooded, cloddish-accented, one hundred-percent District. The blond quickly masked the sneer of disdain forming on his face with his usual grin as a greeting. He spared you a glance and you both catch each other’s eye. He had thought for a moment that he’d seen a flash of recognition behind them – had you caught that scornful look he had for the District rat? But before he could even confirm, you were already smiling warmly at the other boy – that other boy who was leagues below who you deserved (even if you were part District). That boy with a bag of gumdrops you both briefly interacted with about six years ago who needed you to come to rescue him from almost being ganged up by a bunch of other children.

Sejanus Plinth, who would later grow closer to you and thus would divulge to his best friend the tragic events that would explain your need for a psychologist. Sejanus, who’d later reveal to him that he’s developed a crush on you. Private Plinth, who’d be too chickenshit to tell you until before he left for District 12 and ultimately stayed there.

The teenage Coriolanus might not have been aware then, but the two would have profound, lasting influences in his life: the girl, he’d fall madly in love with and force into marriage, and the boy, very much dead yet he’d still be competing with for her love.

Behind you, you hear the apartment door slamming close and you almost jump at the noise.

You sit on the loveseat in the living room, where Oscar the cat greets you with a head bump on your leg. Before you can pet him, however, Coriolanus picks him up gently and exits, presumably to put him back inside his playroom. He soon returns, pausing on the other side of the coffee table and staring down at you with an utmost displeased expression. Nowhere near comparable as when he found you crouching inside a wooden crate in the middle of a botched escape attempt, but it’s still significant.

“Explain why you went over thirty minutes beyond what you were allowed to spend outside.”

With his hands inside his pockets, he draws to his full height and glares at you icily while he waits for you to speak up and defend yourself. You rub your face with your palms to appear more sober than you really are, but so far, the buzz is still there like an annoying fly you can’t swat off.

“How much did she make you drink?” He asks, crossing his arms in his growing impatience.

“Wha-no, she din’ make me do anything.”

Great. Because slurring your words when you’re being interrogated by a former peacekeeper leads to excellent results. Still, you can’t help but frown at the way he makes it sound like Livia forced you into it.

“Fine. How much did you drink?”

“Much.” Dammit. “I mean, plenty.”

Coriolanus pinches his nose bridge and exhales audibly. “You know you’re not a heavy drinker. You shouldn’t have allowed her to goad you into this. How could you be so irresponsible?”

“Stop talking to me like ’mma child,” you bite back and cross your arms. Inebriated or not, you will not be reduced to an invalid without an agency of your own. “I can think for myself.”

Letting out an aggravated sigh, he gives you a condescending glower. “This is exactly why I told you not to pick her. She is not a good influence on you, Nellie.”

You blink once or twice to process what he just said. You get to your feet, finally realising why he’s so upset with such a simple thing as you drinking out like a normal young adult on a Friday night.

“No, you don’t like her because I’m actually having fun with her. There’s a difference,” you conclude softly. The idea is so absurd, it sobers you up a little. “Remember when you said, I needed to reconnect with old friends or some shit? This is me doing that.”

“This is not about you making friends,” he admonishes in the same patronizing manner. “This is about who you chose as your maid of honour.”

You choose to stand your ground and glare at him. “I made it clear I’m not changing.”

“And I made it clear that I do not approve of your choice,” he says roughly. “Get her off the list and call Clemmie or Lys.”

“Or just call off this fucking wedding, how about that?”

As you harden your expression, he, in turn, gives you a look that you are aware does not bode well for you.

“I don’t like your language, Nellie.”

At this moment, you find yourself agreeing with Livia.

Who cares what he thinks?

“It’s my wedding too, okay?” you snap. You exit the living room quickly, intending to just get the argument over with and lock yourself in your room where he can leave you alone. Unfortunately, he follows you at once. “I can choose whoever I want in my own damn entourage. It’s the only thing in this...this charade that I get choice in and you’re not going to take that from me.”

Coriolanus catches up on you and grabs your arm, which you yank back without much force. “Do not talk to me that way – ”

“She’s the first real friend I’ve ever made since Seja – ”

But there’s something within you that catches you mid-speech. the temperature in the living room seems to drop several degrees, which matches the tone he uses.

“Carefully choose what you say next.”

So, you’re really not even allowed to talk about him as a friend, now. It almost physically pains you that even the man he once considered to be his best friend now refuses to even speak of him.

“Coryo, it’s his second death an – ”

“I know what fucking day it is,” he draws close and hisses in your face. “And you don’t get to use that tone on me. You don’t get to endanger yourself this way and step out of line.”

After his menacing tirade, Coriolanus pulls away. In a second, his fury instantly dissipates, replaced by a blank, even serene expression.

The calm before the storm.

“I can’t have my future wife misbehaving like this,” he says with a tone enough to chill your blood. He then closes the space between you two in a calculated manner, stopping merely inches away from you to stare down at you. “I should be nipping this in the bud.”

Your vision spins next, and you wonder for a second if the alcohol you consumed finally has gotten the better of you – until you notice an almost painful grip around your thighs: your fiancé had just hauled you off the floor and placed you over his shoulders. Before you can protest, you’re dumped unceremoniously into a soft surface. Disoriented, you make a feeble attempt to get off the surface, but you’re harshly flipped over on your stomach, unable to lift yourself off owing to being pinned down by something you can’t shake off.

You’re filled with dread the instant your mind processes what just happened: Coriolanus had just carried you to his room and is keeping you in place on his bed with his entire body draped on your back.

It's the alcohol you’d have to thank for your delayed response time.

Desperately, you claw at the pillow, as if it’ll help you out from underneath him, but you freeze when you feel his breath fan your ear with a whisper that sends shivers down your spine:

“I want you to count to from ten when I say so, sugarplum.”

You feel him pull back, the bed shifting slightly. It takes the rustling of a belt behind you to send you into hysterics; the feel of the cold, night air on your ass as your dress is lifted, revealing you in just your underwear, is enough to make you beg.

“Coryo, please, no – ”

Your words die in your throat as a sharp, white-hot pain lands on the swell of your ass, almost at the same time you hear a loud crack.

He's just hit your almost bare backside with the softer side of his leather belt, and it fucking burns to high hell.

You’re still reeling at the shock of it, but your hair is bunched and pulled, not enough to hurt but to gain your attention.

“Start counting,” he commands from behind you.

Ten. That means ten lashes of his belt. Nine more of this and you can barely handle one.

You sob out of fear, but you don’t know if it’s out of fear of pain or of him.

“Please, I won’t do it again – ”

A pained yelp escapes you the moment the belt lands on your ass again. Another hair pull, followed by his stern voice from behind you.

“Nellie, you’re prolonging this by not counting as I said. Now, I will not ask again: count to ten.”

Go to hell.

You don’t know what compels you to – perhaps it’s the thought of you being unable to sit for the next few days on any surface without wincing in pain – you inhale sharply, swallowing back the insult you’re planning to hurl, and whisper:

“Ten.”

Another cracking of the belt, followed by your cry as it hits you, followed by you shakily whispering a number. He repeats this without mercy and without reprieve – just pure malice and the intent of inflicting pain.

Sniffling, you manage to stammer “f-five,” bracing yourself for another, but it doesn’t come.

You lay flat on your stomach as you weep audibly in your helplessness and shame, belatedly realising he’s removed himself from you and has gone off fuck-knows-where. Just as you’re about to try and get up, he makes a re-entrance, having come from the bathroom. He’s completely shirtless now, eyes locked in and heading straight towards you.

You begin sobbing anew and try to crawl off the bed, but he’s instantly on you, pinning you down as he straddles your thighs with his own, taking your wrists and pinning them above you with a single hand.

“No, please…”

Directly over your ear, he whispers gently, “Sshh, shh, it’s over, sugarplum, I’m here to take care of you now.”

Despite your rather pathetic sobs, he continues cooing over your ear, while you feel something wet and cold being rubbed gently on your ass where the belt had hit you multiple times.

“It’s just a salve, my little sugarplum,” he explains. “It’ll help heal the skin faster and reduce bruising.”

The salve helps like he says, thank goodness, because after he’s massaged the area, it had numbed almost entirely – too bad it does absolutely nothing with the trembling on your hands. For the next few minutes, your fiancé strokes your hair, kisses your crown, and whispers what he thinks are comforting words, all of them a blur to you as you continue lying down on your stomach, unmoving and still trying to wrap your head around what just happened.

“You made me do that, my sugarplum,” he says, and you’re almost tempted to believe how contrite his voice is. “I will never hurt the love of my life – as long as you give me no reason to.”

You’re barely paying attention when he starts peeling off your dress entirely, even when he jerks himself off above you and spills himself on your bare back, even when he cleans you up and wraps you almost lovingly in his blanket and pulls you close to him in a cuddle you’re all-too-familiar with.

What you listen to aptly, however, is what he tells you quietly as he runs his fingers through your hair in this sick form of forced intimacy.

“I will move the wedding to a month and a half from now. Mid-October. In return, you get to keep your maid of honour, and I will lift your uncle’s exile the day before the wedding. That way, he can walk you to the aisle and hand you over to me, just like he should’ve done from the start.”

Just before you let yourself succumb to sleep in his arms, you make a mental note to ask Livia for a crucial favour as this last-ditch attempt to throw a wrench at your fiancé’s plans for the future.

Sejanus Plinth felt a little guilty as he sat beside you on his bedroom couch. You were hunched over the coffee table poring over three open books at the same time, scribbling madly on a nearly full page of your notebook, essentially doing your part and more in this supposedly partnered effort of writing a ten-page analysis of some pre-Panem fantasy trilogy. It was obvious you had been spending the recent nights getting some work done on the paper based on the way you rubbed your eyes constantly and yawned into your palms. He was supposed to have written about three pages now, but he had barely scraped one and a half, and the open notebook he had on his lap was devoid of handwriting.

Yet he still couldn’t quite believe his luck that he had you in his bedroom, the first friend he had ever made since his family’s official move to the Capitol. His friend, the smart, quiet, sassy, pretty girl who had once defended him from one of the many bouts of name-calling by his own classmates and then vanished from his life. He had little hope he’d see you again, but here you both were in your second year, your friendship stronger than ever.

“You know, experts say that staring into paper has been scientifically proven to yield a ten-page book review.”

Your cheeky little comment did not go unnoticed, but Sejanus just flashed you an innocent smile he knew you couldn’t resist. You rolled your eyes at him and proceeded to sigh, before setting your pen down and heavily leaning back on the couch.

“I guess we could take a break,” you admitted as you rubbed your eyes, and grabbed a throw pillow, hugging it to yourself.

“Speak for yourself, I can go all day,” Sejanus joked. “I’ll go get us some food.”

He stood from his couch, but before he exited the door, he looked back at you and grinned, “Nellie, try not to fall asleep before I can come back, yeah? Ma worked hard on those strudels.”

You gave him a sweet, exhausted smile, and said, “Please thank her for me. Not that I won’t be thanking her later before I get home, but still.”

“I’m sure she’d like that,” Sejanus nodded when he finally closed the door behind him.

He released a breath he didn’t know he was holding and straightened the collar of his shirt. As if having you alone in his room – albeit for completing the essay together – had him feeling nervous enough before you even arrived, his Ma just had to gush over you just as soon as you crossed the threshold.

Of course, he’d revealed to them how he met you all those years ago, carefully omitting a few details, but when he told her last week he’d have you over to visit, she had wildly assumed you to be his girlfriend, which you weren’t. Something he had always been so adamant with her about. Besides, he knew he had zero chances on you, as gifted and as talented and as attractive as you are.

Sometimes, he’d find himself wishing that weren’t the case.

It wasn’t your looks or your brains that had him developing some sort of…feelings for you. You were a breath of fresh air in the Capitol for him, starkly different from the other girls in the school who were either vapid, vain, or arrogant, or all those three at once.

“So? How is it with you and your…friend so far?”

He hadn’t even crossed the doorway to the kitchen and his Ma was already on his case. He loved her with all his heart, and he was extremely grateful for her hard work, but she could scare you away even before he had made a move.

He met his mother’s expectant smile with a tired grin and replied, “It’s going great, Ma.”

His mother beamed at him – he didn’t have the heart to take this little joy away from her when she was so excited – and told him a maid would carry the tray of food upstairs for him instead and shooed him away from her kitchen.

“She’s really pretty, by the way,” she added just as he was leaving to go back to his room.

Sejanus found you resting your head on the couch’s armrest, hugging the throw pillow to yourself and in blissful slumber.

He didn’t have the heart to take this little bit of rest away from you, either.

Sighing to himself, he grabbed a fresh velvet blanket and tucked you in it before sitting beside you and observing you. He brushed a stray lock of hair away from your face and let his fingers linger on your cheek.

You didn’t wake up until about two hours later, and by then, Sejanus had made good progress on the essay since you weren’t distracting him too much. He then spent the rest of the day doing more staring than actual schoolwork, trying to commit this day to his memory, no matter how inconsequential.

Aside from the kiss he would eventually share with you, Sejanus would constantly remember in his last days just how soft your cheek was and just how he could’ve snuck in a quick kiss on them that day if he hadn’t been so faint-hearted.

Enter Level 17 - soon

Next on Level 17 - Wedding bells toll, Snows going honeymooning on the beach, just filthy filthy smut (fucking finally lmaooo)

Author notes:

Please reblog and comment, it's always appreciated! Sorry for the delay as well, the next update will likely take about 2 weeks from now duw to work still being crazyyy. Thank you for your patience!!!

#dark!coriolanus snow #dark!coriolanus snow x reader #Young!coriolanus snow #young!coriolanus snow x reader #named!reader #or #x OC2ndPOV #18+ only #dark!coriolanus snow fic #dark!coriolanus #dark!coriolanus fic #dark!fic

[profoundbondfanfic]

Hi! I was wondering if you could recommend some post-canon fics where Dean and Cas fix up a house together and basically live happily ever after? Thank you!

Hello! Yes, here are a few we've enjoyed!

A Second Grace by sometimeswelose [Mature, 26k words] (Cas is in the Empty for most of the fic, so they don't necessarily fix the house "together" but Cas eventually joins Dean and they get their happily ever after)

Cas dies and Dean starts referring to himself as a widower. This is somewhat confusing for everyone involved.

Best To See These True Colours (Than To Follow One Of Your False Virtues) by ImYourHoneyBee [Explicit, 34k words]

Two months after Team Free Will beats Chuck, Jack brings Cas back and Dean wants so badly to respond to Cas's confession in the dungeon, but to do that he needs to shed a lifetime of trauma, self hatred, and internalized homophobia. After moving in to a farmhouse with Cas, Dean secretly starts going to therapy every Thursday afternoon. He also starts working on getting the tattoos he always wanted in an effort to reclaim a body that he's only ever seen as a tool. or Cas stole Dean's favorite Zeppelin shirt, Dean steals it back, Cas steals it again. A shirt-theft war like nothing you've ever seen ensues. The entire family takes sides. Is it foreplay? Yes. Is it good clean family fun? Sometimes. Are Jack's god powers used unwisely in the name of the Zepp shirt battle? Yeah, probably. Is Dean messier than a sloppy joe? Nooooo, not at all.

Fenario by ftmsteverogers [Explicit, 47k words]

“We did good, Dean,” Sam says. “We got him back.” Dean huffs a hollow laugh, because yeah, that’s always what it’s about, isn’t it? Cas or Sam or Dean getting themselves lost or dead, and then taking turns dragging each other back from the brink. He shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets. “We got him back, yeah,” he says. Sam nods, watching him. “So now what?”

Kriah by ioascc [Explicit, 54k words]

Dean can do this. He can. He can raise Jack Kline, Lucifer’s baby. No, not Lucifer’s… Cas’ kid. Their kid. With his mother gone, and Castiel dead, Dean finds himself hanging on by a thread. Castiel has died so many times on him, Dean is half-convinced himself that Cas will return to him. Dean evades the pain of the truth, carrying on in false hope until his soul renders into a million pieces. He learns quickly that taking care of a newborn is not for the faint of heart, sleep-deprivation, grief, and feedings rule most of the early days. During this time, Dean is forced to build a new life for himself. With a new name and identity change, Dean becomes a Dad. Something Castiel would be proud of. Dean cooks, he cleans, he reads, he sings his ABCs and 123s, and ultimately Dean does his best for Jack. It’s not until Jack grows into a small child that Dean feels like he can breathe again. The grief no longer suffocates him. His new life has meaning. He sees family and he allows himself to miss Castiel. To mourn him, to love him in death. And when Jack goes to school, Dean is once again reunited with friends and enemies from his past.

Talk Some Sense To Me (Kenopsia) by ImYourHoneyBee [Explicit, 244k words]

Scrambling to his knees Castiel hugs back, burying his face in Dean’s neck, breath coming in fast little pants against his skin. Dean closes his eyes and just breathes him in, barely able to believe that this is real. At any other time in his life, closing his eyes against a threat like Death would be an inexcusable lapse in his hunter’s judgement. Right now, he doesn’t give a single fuck. Death can reap him for all he cares, he’ll die knowing Cas is going to be ok. Alive. “I will see you soon, Dean,” Death tells him, that deliberate voice of his soft enough not to intrude on the intimacy of the moment, “Raincheck on that grilled cheese.” “Thank you,” Dean croaks, propping his chin up on Cas’s shoulder, unmindful of the tears trickling down his cheeks, “Thank you.”

take the bones, begin anew by JustStandingHere [Mature, 103k words]

“What else was I supposed to say, Sam?” Dean asks him. “I’m not...look, Cas is my best friend, and I care about him. That’s it.” “And you renovated a house for him,” Sam continues. “And live with him.” or: a year in the life, in which it takes some time, but they figure it out

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden [Explicit, 95k words] (it was written before s15, so it's not canonical, but it does feature post-canon and dean and cas fixing up a house!)

Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together.

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by blinkiesays [Explicit, 20k words ] (it's not post-canon but they get a house together)

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

#destiel #group rec #post canon #fix it #domestic

[mayakern]

i know spitfire is already high fantasy but like. what if they were a dnd group.

my thoughts so far:

caed: human fighter, probably a combat master or cavalier. he would still be a prince, but he would be traveling in disguise for some reason. maybe a coup.

feon: an actual dragon but cursed into a mortal body, so currently they are a tiefling. this curse may be coup related. i also think feon is still bonded to caed in some way. the most obvious choice for feon would be a draconic bloodline sorcerer, but i also like the healing capabilities in divine soul sorcerer since feon’s ability to heal themself and others (mostly caed) is pretty pivotal.

allene: obviously she is a human wizard. you could make a case for artificer since human magic in spitfire is so weak compared to dnd that even a level 1 wizard would be capable of magic that would be groundbreaking (for humans) in spitfire. but she’s definitely a wizard at heart. i don’t know if she’d still be a princess in this AU because that feels a little ridiculous, but she’d definitely be very wealthy and studious mage from some sort of mage tower and would be treating all this adventuring business as a sort of gap year from her real studies. she’s just here for fun and adventure! and maybe a bit of romance.

lysithea: she would probably be a half elf rogue (arcane trickster), but i could also see her being a (dex based) eldritch knight fighter or even a pact of the blade warlock (fae patron of course). you could also make a case for her being a changeling, seeing as she is fae touched, but she doesn’t have the ability to alter her appearance in canon so that feels a bit like a stretch. like in canon, lysithea is allene’s close friend and probably decides to accompany her to keep her from dying a very stupid and pointless death.

#artists on tumblr #art #dnd #spitfire #oc #maya draws things

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 8 | Case Fic

I'll Always Come When You Call | @blessyourhondahurley

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,960 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester Summary: Cas takes a quick case with Garth that turns out to be not so quick. Dean comes in with the assist.

Blue Like Grace | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,226 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Season/Series 08, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Winged Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Interspecies Romance, Angel Marriage (Supernatural), Repressed Bisexual Dean Winchester Summary: Dean ain’t used to getting to “decorate” things. Decorations are usually shit for other people with normal lives. He’d see it on tv when he was younger, in shows people would put up streamers for their kids’ birthdays or whatever. And also in bars during holidays, those tacky shiny things hung on walls and from ceilings. But Dean’s never done it himself. Which means that Cas, right now, is driving him fucking insane.

Just Say It | @curlynerd

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,494 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon Fix-It, Case Fic, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Ghosts, Day At The Beach, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Finale doesn't exist, (weakened)Angel!Cas Summary: A string of violent deaths at an otherwise charming B&B was all the excuse Dean needed to drag Cas down to Florida for some fun in the sun. Things had been awkward since Cas came back from the Empty and they could finally be together, but Dean was sure that a romantic getaway was the perfect thing to help Cas get out of the training wheels stage of Angel's-First-Romance and start acting like a real couple. Just as soon as they took care of a vengeful spirit. What could possibly go wrong?

Jupiter's Rings | @notastupidbird

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,527 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Solo Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunters For Hire, Monsters are Known, Case Fic, Meet-Weird, POV Dean Winchester Summary: “No, this is perfect! I was just about to put up a notice today.” Dean stops packing up his stuff and rests an elbow on the table. “Yeah? What for?” The man gives a quick look around the diner and then leans in close. “I got an alien in my barn.” - + - In a world where supernatural encounters are a normal part of everyday life, Dean works alone as a hunter-for-hire. After wrapping up a case in rural Missouri, Dean is just about to hit the road again when a man stops him and asks for help dealing with something Dean's never heard of before — an alien. Never one to turn somebody away, Dean takes the case and finds out that he's in way over his head when he discovers just what this "alien" really is — a fallen angel.

This Angel Is Naturally And Artificially Flavored | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,687 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst and Humor, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Undercover as a Couple, Case Fic, Canon Compliant, Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Surprise Ending Summary: “I don’t understand,” Castiel interrupts. “If you don’t require my assistance, then why did she pray for me?” “Dean, if you go there yourself, nothing’s gonna get done,” Charlie says, clearly resuming some type of argument that was taking place before he arrived. “You can just go with me!” is Dean’s response. “It’s a gay club, you’re gay, it’ll totally work!” “Yeah, if what you’re going for is the world’s least convincing lavender marriage!”

Forest Fever | @amaranthhiding

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,586 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Post-Ep 12x10, Monster of the Week, Forests, Monster Hunt, Mystery (a little), Hallucinations, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Humor, First Kiss, Emotional Sex, Angel Grace, Dean POV, Sam POV, Dean/Cas Stab Fest 2022 Summary: After the crushing events of episode 12x10 "Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets", Castiel is low on grace and morale. In an attempt to restore at least one of these two, Sam and Dean take him on a hunt. Things start going wrong when Sam gets injured and Cas seemingly disappears. They get worse when Dean turns from hunter to prey for something feeling far more at home in this dark, rainy forest than he does.

Full Fathom Five Thy Father Lies | @ariasune

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 13,575 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel's True Form, Deep Sea Horror, First Kiss, Season 8 Summary: "Look, Charlie thinks the Men of Letters have something that can help you actually, you know, find this monster.” “Good,” Dean licks at his thumb to get the last of the chicken salt clean. “Cause right now it seems like we’ve got a monster that’s some 20, 000 leagues under the sea…” He stops. “This isn’t some 20, 000 leagues shit is it?” “It’s a submarine, actually.” Fuck, that sounds like a yes.

A Midsummer Night's Dean | @payphoneangel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,949 Main Tags/Warnings: Casefic, friends to lovers, love spells, love confessions, getting together, canon-typical violence, POV Dean Winchester, Summary: When an uncanny string of deaths lead TFW to California, they're pointed in the direction of a kitschy hotel with a reputation for being haunted. Will they discover what’s causing the love-sickness, or will their stay end in (deadly) heartbreak?

Stranded | @malicmalic

Rating: Mature Word Count: 27,980 Main Tags/Warnings: Deserted island, Case fic, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Angst, Crack, Funny situations, Competitions Summary: Prompt: Cas and Dean are hunting and they touch a portkey/ artifact that transports them somewhere warm and sunny/ place full of couples. Artefact also temporarily stops Cas from flying back so they have to muddle through an activity. Snorkeling, abseiling, anything out of the boys comfort zone. Or how Dean and Cas manage to get themselves into some funny and interesting situations while stranded on a deserted island that isn't really deserted at all.

Under My Skin | @whichstiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 39,596 Main Tags/Warnings: Curses, Fae and Faeries, Fungus, Sex magic, Body horror Summary: Dean and Castiel head to a remote town in the Ozarks to investigate a series of mysterious deaths. In each case, the victim mutilates their own skin, gruesomely clawing at it until death stops their hands. They scramble for answers, trying to solve the case before more victims succumb. In this small town, the only motel room available means that they will be sharing a bed. They've never been more aware of each other, or the potential that lies between them. When they learn that an ancient sex magic ritual is the best way to stop the deaths? Well, somebody has to take one for the team.

Heart Shaped Box | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Mature Word Count: 43,504 Main Tags/Warnings: s15 fix it fic (human Cas, everyone lives), curses, references to past canon/trauma Summary: The bunker is full of dusty old artifacts. Only now that Chuck is out of the picture once and for all, and Cas is fully restored from the empty and in his first days of adjusting to humanity in Dean’s debatable care, does Sam really have a chance to start sorting through it all. The ornate little box he finds feels like the perfect gift for Eileen, but he both wants Cas to feel included and needed, and really wants a strong second opinion on anything in the bunker being safe to give anyone as a gift. Cas declares it a perfectly normal box, until Dean reaches out to give it his own inspection, triggering a spell that will pull them through their own history and open a door to allow them the time and space to settle all the open questions between them. Meanwhile back in the bunker, once the explosion of light resolves, Sam is left with a slightly radioactive looking box and the sinking terror that Dean and Cas had been cursed all because of him. A little trip down memory lane, Supernatural style, ensues.

Lonely Is The Night | @trenchcoatparadigm

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 50,420 Main Tags/Warnings: Prostitution, During Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Monster of the Week, Season/Series 09, First Kiss, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut Summary: “Listen, buddy. You can’t stay.” Five little words that had sent Castiel’s whole world crumbling down around him. What would he do? Where would he go? How would he survive now that he was human? That had been nearly 2 years ago. He did what he needed to get by. Had a roof over his head, just about. Minimal food in his belly, enough to keep him alive at least. And money in his pocket. Dirty, filthy money he earned by offering himself up to people that did unspeakable, sinful things to him. Once an angel of the lord, now left to lurking on street corners, hoping someone would give him the time of day just so he could stay alive. Whispers of disappearances had been rife through 5th street. But when familiar faces start vanishing, Castiel isn’t sure if people were leaving out of fear or something worse. Just when everything seemed its bleakest there was a tiny glimmer of hope, pinging brightly off chrome alloys and glossy black paintwork. The rumbling beast cruising through his neighbourhood, by his corner. He never thought he’d see that car again. The Winchester brothers brought to the city on a new case. A new case that sat a little too close to home.

#destiel trope collection #destiel trope collection 2023 #destiel #fanfic #case fic #day 8

[no-psi-nan]

Chatting with a friend about our most "deranged" works (affectionate), and was inspired to create this 4D scale based on what I think are the most common attributes of "deranged" works:

Distance from canon: This can mean the amount of difference in setting, tone, and/or characterization from the original work. The lowest possible score would be canon-compliant work during the timeline, like a missing scene or a scene from another perspective.

Hypothetical examples of high-scoring creations:

Lord of the Rings AU where Sauron is a corporation buying out a small community of locally owned shops to place a cookie cutter mall there

Crack/parody My Little Pony roleplay where hatred is magic

Violence / Horror: The amount of violence, gore, horror, severe angst, etc. that exceeds what is shown in canon.

Hypothetical examples of high-scoring creations:

Comic of a more "realistic" Pokemon battle where Pokemon are sliced apart, lose limbs, and otherwise face graphic injury and death

Yu-Gi-Oh! fic focused on the people who have been "mind-crushed", from both the perspective of the victim experiencing unending torture and their family/friends struggling to cure them

Sex: This refers to not just the amount of sex, but also the level of explicitness, addition of kinks, number of people involved, monsterfucking, etc.

Hypothetical examples of high-scoring creations:

Supernatural fan drawing of Dean and Cas performing a BDSM scene while Cas is in a "biblically accurate" angelic true-form

Naruto AU where the demons can go into heat and often fuck indiscriminately in groups

Time spent creating it: Some works may rank very low in all the other categories and yet reach the status of "deranged" purely based on how long the creator has been working on it / rotating it in their mind! The development of incredible detail/lore tends to fall naturally into this category.

(All examples made up off the top of my head and not meant to call anybody out lol)

Just thought it might be fun for everyone to think about where their most "deranged" creations might fall on this (tongue-in-cheek) scale!

#fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #fanfic #fanart #writing #nopsi nonsense #nopsi graphics

[hoziernaturalevents]

Hoziernatural Recs: Wincest

Sign-ups for the 2024 round of the Hoziernatural Multi-Ship Bang are open, and people will soon be working to create a whole new batch of Hoziernatural content! However, for those of you who would like something to read between now and posting, we have some recs to fill that need ❤️

Everything listed below is Wincest, but if you're a person of varied taste, then check out our Destiel, Rare Pair, and Gen/Character Study rec lists!

Follow In Your Form by @withthekeyisking-writer

Hozier Song: Shrike

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 3,235

Pairing/s: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Lucifer & Sam Winchester

Warnings: Past Rape/Non-con, Past torture, Panic Attacks

Additional Tags: Hallucination Lucifer, Sam Winchester's Demonic Powers, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, Sam Winchester's Cage Trauma, Lucifer Being Lucifer, Gencest, Protective Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sam is hallucinating Lucifer in the wake of Cas bringing his Hell Wall crashing down.

To make matters worse, it seems like this has his dormant powers flaring back to life.

Marvel at Flowers You'll Have Made by @sammichgirl with art by @amberdreams1960

Beta: Judi

Hozier Song: No Plan

Rating: Not Rated

Word Count: 28,811

Pairing/s: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester

Warnings: Violence, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Additional Tags: Serial killer Dean, Canon Divergent, Happy Ending

Summary: Canon divergent Supernatural where Dean still kills monsters. What's different are the humans he kills, the reason he does it, and how Sam begins to handle the clean up afterwards. Dean is judge, jury and executioner to seeming innocents and Sam finds a way to keep them safe and off the radar with a mixture of law knowledge, an extensive fascination with botany and a bit of learned magic. Their devotion grows deeper and more feral until it's all consuming and burns bright hot, defying anything in their path to happiness.

The Look of Mischief in Your Eyes by @nonastrega with art by @brothersinablackcar and art by @rauko-creates

Beta: @oolongfog

Hozier Song: Dinner & Diatribes

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11,577

Pairing/s: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester

Warnings: Violent Ghost Death, Explicit Sex

Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Dark Comedy, Almost a Case Fic, Edgar Allen Poe References

Summary: Sam has found a gift for Dean. A once in a lifetime hunt that they can also have a little fun with. You know, if they survive it.

#hozier #spn #hoziernatural #wincest #wincest fic #wincest art #rec list

[olderthannetfic]

Been thinking about daring to try to get into vidding (but I have zero knowledge about video editing lol) and wondered if there are ship manifestos that are in fanvid-form, so to say. Am shocked that there are only six on AO3. Though I guess it may have to do with videos being taken down because of copyright stuff?

(One of them was by you by the way if I'm not mistaken, ha! And now I want to watch Veritas: The Quest. Your video got me interested.^^)

--

Haha. I was going to say!

Veritas is a fun dumb time. It makes me sad that they never released properly. (And yes, my love of baaaaaad "archaeology" canons full of magical woo and tomb raiding goes way back. Also my love of fake death and fake betrayal plots.)

AO3 is only moderately popular for fanvids, and mostly in a very specific community of people who send vids to the small-scale fancons—the sorts of people who founded OTW and who were vidding on Livejournal. (It won't be because of takedowns. The AO3 work would still be there, just with a dead embed.) That lack of popularity overall is part of why you don't see so many video manifestos, but I think it's more a terminology thing:

I think it's rare for vidders to call their vids "manifestos". I don't think of that one video as a vid that is a manifesto: I think of it as a vid I made to include in a manifesto. Instead, we tend to call them "pimp vids", but you don't tag with that because it's presumptuous. It's something you say retroactively about other people's vids or that you tell a vid beta you're aiming for. You don't get to decide if your vid successfully pimps people in any more than you get a say in whether you go viral, you know?

--

There's a weekly vidders' zoom run by DC Slash (one of the tiny slash cons), and we just had a week where we brought in vids that got us into fandoms. A lot of other people's were ancient, blurry VCR transfers because they've been at this a lot longer than I have, but I can show you some of the vids that have gotten me into fandoms:

Killa's Haven vid Soldier annoyed me so much. What is that one brief flash of a scene? Did that dude die? It's not that sad a vid though? What the hell? So I had to watch just to find out. (Yes, he died. But he got better. Because Haven.)

The fact that I know and like Killa didn't hurt, but it's not like I loved the vid itself: a lot of it was my sheer annoyance at that one shot.

Of course, then, I made my own Haven vid, Captain Kidd, that was supposed to be an angry deep dive into show lore and how the other sanctimonious, fake-moral but actually pretty useless characters were treating my blorbo. (This is a theme with me, it appears.) It was not even 1% supposed to be a pimp vid...

To date, this is by far my most successful pimp vid, luring a whole bunch of people into the show just in time for it to massively jump the shark. (Damn it.) I've never even seen the ending.

More recently, akiv's Beyond Evil vid I'm a Ruler made me fall hard for Beyond Evil. Imagine my shock when what looked like a relatively normal buddy cop series starts with one of them secretly investigating the other as a serial killer. It was so much more intense and fucked up than I realized! Yessss.

After bouncing hard off of DMBJ, it was this Youtube vid Hei Ye falling for the Thorny Flower that got me intrigued again. The tone is so obvious and the dynamic is so clear, which really helped me get interested in a franchise that's often pretty hard to follow plot-wise.

I admit I never actually watched canon, but this Mr. Queen vid by Mozzaphne made me go look up a plot summary so I could read all of the fic. Lots of youtube vidders overuse show dialogue and mix it horribly over songs, but this one was really well done and adds a lot to your understanding of the character dynamics.

I don't think my foray into Detroit: Become Human was entirely because of a single vid, but Figure 8 by Dirty Mind Gene definitely helped. I knew it was a video game with robots. Nobody fucking told me it was a Caves of Steel ripoff with a jaded cop getting his mojo back via getting to know his robot partner.

I of course then went and made one with all of the zillions of deaths in the game because I love that shit. This apparently also got at least one person into the fandom.

Another vid a different person mentioned pimping them into a fandom was Lola's Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty vid ME!

It's a fabulous vid, and it's a fantastic illustration of how the central (canon) ship is supposed to read. Sadly, my personal opinion of the show is that Tang Fan is a perpetual victim and piece of shit who puts his own shallow grasp of morality and his personal feelings over the greater good, often getting characters killed unnecessarily. (I hear this is largely due to some questionable adaptation choices where they swapped who's the hothead and who's the one cleaning up messes.)

I've noticed that fluffy bunnies who watch the show tend to think Tang Fan is ~nice~ because he spouts modern morality instead of a selfish little bitch because he refuses to face the reality of the setting he's in and find the best real world solution instead of holding out for an ideal he'll never attain and thus making everything ten times worse. It reminds me forcibly of tumblr wank where people see themselves as these great moral leaders but lack all grasp of nuance. Their sensitivity extends only to their own feelings.

Yes, Sleuth left me with a lot of rage...

How dare the writing pretend like Tang Fan is the moral arbiter of anything, when my own personal fave, whom half the cast thinks is a villain, is constantly cleaning up after him, trying to keep the body count low, trying to maintain order as everybody else flies out of control...

And then the show made it all better by tormenting Tang Fan in the iddiest way possible. Ohohoho. It's not just that he gets his face rubbed in his own inadequacy and inability to save people. It's the ridiculously over-the-top flashback to "You're my only friend" right in the middle of the death scene. Way to twist the knife!

I, of course, have made my own vid for this fandom, Tiny, Pretty & Angry, and it is absolutely a manifesto, just not a ship one. It's a manifesto about how Wang Zhi is not only the most competent, but also the actual moral center of everything and fuck all of y'all if you don't agree.

In fact, there's probably another reason we don't call them manifestos:

In the oldschool Media Fandom vidding traditions, most vids are video essays and manifestos, really. That's a lot of the point of the aesthetic: making an argument. Partly due to technological limitations and partly due to vidding being innovated by slashers who were constantly challenged about their ships, the pretty visual spectacle styles so common in AMVs and currently on Youtube were largely absent. Meta argument was everything. That's the default.

Here's another one of mine that's pretty explicitly a fuck you to how most people in Untamed fandom see Wen Ning.

[obsessionnostalgia]

Claire Novak fic recs: yeah, I was trying to reblog something every time I found a new one but its too disorganized so now it lives here. You have a Claire Novak rec? i want to read it.

Where the Heart Is by goldenraeofsun

Features a time-traveling Claire hanging out with Sam and Dean circa season 7. There's angst. There's Claire hooking up with a diner waitress. There's Claire having self-worth issues. There's Claire making fun of Dean to his face. All the good stuff.

Like a Duck, He Fits the Bill by golbygloom

Claire Novak and her budding attachment to the guy who isn't her dad but wears his face. The angst of having to get out of your own way to make connections with others.

Let Me Come Home by prosopopeya

Deancas-centric but Claire Novak is a POV character, struggling in foster care and the uncertainty of whether her uncle (Cas) will get his shit together in order to take her in. The Claire and Dean parallels are strong.

Rec from kerryweaverlesbian:

no such thing as a unique experience by @astralpenguin

A 15 year old Claire meets the (now older) little girl who was possessed by Lilith for a long time. Neither of them realise this element of connection for quite some time. Tons of empathy and understanding. These two feel so much like complex teenage girls, and also the dramatic irony is incredibly fun. One of the best fics I've read all year

Rec from carhengeapocalypse:

Another rhinestoneangels (@pinknatural ) fic fatherisms

Claire is a baby when Jimmy agreed to be Castiel's vessel and Dean steps in to help take care of her. The timeline jumps around and the story is told in snippets and it's very good

as if death itself was undone by microcomets

Claire confronts a human Castiel in a grocery store.

Claire heaves a deep, bone-weary sigh. “Here I am, consoling an ex-angel using my dead father as a meat-puppet on his self-esteem issues. I should write a book or something.”

everlasting by entropic_saudade

Claire wants to have a permanent mark of her and Kaia’s love. In order to do the stabbing safely, she helps Dean bring Cas back from the Empty so he can heal her.

gifts given & words unspoken by rhinestoneangels

Short: Dean and Claire make cookies after Castiel brings her back to the bunker, injured. Some implications at this point, Claire is more family to Dean than Mary. Set in season 12.

coming out by dicklessthewonderclown

Short, Dean POV conversation on a drive with Claire where she comes out as wanting to date Kaia and also admits (by accident) that Dean is a kind of sort of maybe father figure to her.

A Christmas Miracle (for someone else) by bitterred

Set post-canon, mirroring all the "Cas is dead and Dean is depressed" fics, Claire Novak finds a cat during the holiday season.

i'm sorry i'm the one you love (no one will ever love me like you again) by monsterfatigue

Kind of weird that Claire decided she was in love with Kaia even though they had barely known each other. After Kaia comes back from the Bad Place, nothing is simple. Claire isn't sure why she thought it would be.

This Is A Love That Lasts Forever by HeddersTheOwl

Another fic where Claire being friendly with the angel that wears her dad's face is complicated.

"You look too much like him. It's not fair. You're not him." 

meteor site (our hearts collision) by sobsicles

Claire has religious trauma laced with homophobia. Kaia doesn't want to be anyone's nightmare.

the way a dad should by fleeceframe

Dean and Claire are driving back to Jody's when Claire needs to stop because her period has started. (Side note: i was SURE that part of the reasoning for carrying tampons/pads in the impala was going to be partially related to the fact that they're sometimes good for wound care, in that the products are designed not to grow bacteria.)

i don’t know nothing (and that’s fine) by halfwheeze

Claire Novak meets Magda Peterson, the psychic girl from 12.4 American Nightmare, and likes her so much it makes Claire look stupid. Look at that, they have matching religious trauma: "When Castiel-" she pauses, remembering that his name isn't carved into the internal dialogue of every girl with religious trauma from here to Texas, "the Winchesters' angel, I don't know if he was with them when they got you- when he came to Earth, he needed a vessel. A human strong enough to hold an angel, with strong enough faith to allow them in and allow them to stay." That's what the Winchester Gospels said about them anyway. Castiel just said that they needed to believe. They were special. Believers. Bullshit. "When Castiel came to Earth, he took my father. And then, when my father told him he couldn't stay anymore, Castiel approached me. Being a vessel, it's passed down in the family line. The blood. The body. All they need is the body. And I was a kid. He might as well have been God. So I said yes. And my father took him back. If you think about it, it's my fault that my dad is dead."

Bartenders Love Me by clusterjam

Claire Novak doing her Dean-coded thing: hustling in a bar, flirting with the bartender, and oh yeah: angst about whether her dad would approve of her.

Subject: Dean Winchester Is Dead by angelszn

There aren't enough fics about Claire finding out Dean (or Cas) are dead. Dean Winchester is dead. Dean Winchester is dead, and Claire got the news in an email of all things. As if the gravity can be contained in the tiny black letters on the screen. It didn’t even seem possible. 

patricide of the lowest order by angelszn

This one's dark (Major Character Death tagged) -- Castiel killed Claire's father, after all, and what is Supernatural but a series of revenge plots?

two steps on the water by orpheuscas

Claire in the aftermath of being cured of werewolfism. Heavy dose of "Dean is basically Claire's dad now" included.

she'll say she got the map from me by 13zepptraxx

Hey you know that episode where Dean goes back in time and hangs out with his mom? He tells her, "No matter what you hear, or what you see. Promise me you won’t get out of bed." but then an angel wipes her memory? What if Claire went back in time after Dean died because she was sick with grief and basically did the same thing?

#claire novak #spn #fanfic #fic recs #claire novak fics #claireposting

[hauntedpearl]

WAIT I WANT YOU TO WRITE A SOULMATE AU

AAHHHHH GOD OKAY I JUST TYPED A WHOLEASS HEADCANON AND TUMBLR DIDN'T SAVE IT AND NOW IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME BUT IM GONNA TRY TO. RECREATE IT FOR YOU!! i hateeee this website i hate it.

anyway yes. as i was saying: i wanna write a soulmate au tooo!!! so bad!! but i worry that i won't be able to write a compelling one because i am a super fluffy writer and i don't really enjoy soulmate AUs that are super fluffy so I'll just end up writing something that's not interesting or whatever. but!!! sometimes i think if canonverse!!! then maybe!!! maybe!!! it can be fun because DENIAL!! DEPRESSION!! DEATH!! etc etc

i don't have an excerpt to post because i can't write anything right now but i think it would go something like this:

so this is s9. cas is human and he basically develops a soulmark. he actually doesn't even notice it but then when he's at that laundromat, there's also a little kid there and she sees it and points it out to him and then the mom is just like. mortified and she's like OMG WE ARE LEAVING RN and they run away. and then cas just looks down at himself and is like huh. he obviously recognises it. so. HUH.

anyway it's the same mark as dean's and while he's aware of the implications he just ignores all of that and gets on with it. his denial is like. fueled by the mark itself not being fully formed/permanent yet. it keeps fading in and out so he's like whatever not my problem rn. anyway s9 happens.

dean kicks him out of the bunker. and the mark becomes permanent.

he like lowkey hates having it but he justifies its existence to himself in many ways and just kind of does what he has to because he has no choice. anyway. HEAVEN CAN'T WAIT.

dean shows up. and then both their marks start burning up bc ~ p r o x i m i t y ~ or whatever and dean feels it and cas feels it and dean sees cas feeling it. and dean's like what the fuck what the FUCK and cas is like nothing the fuck. get out. and dean's like stop acting like I'm stupid i saw you!! you felt it too!! and cas is like idk what you're talking about. anyway they have a minor argument about this and also the hunt at the same time and it ends more or less like it did in canon.

i was the nora date to be a thing like it is important to me that it is a thing and i want dean to be soooo insane about it. like okay even those soulmates exist, not everyone ends up with their soulmate and not everyone takes it all that seriously. it's kind of like how astrology is in indian matchmaking yk? so it's not a big deal that cas is dating someone even if he has a mark but it's like. THIS IS DEAN. HE'S CRAZY. SO.

anyway. plot plot whatever rit zien is there. they fight. etc etc. same as canon. and then when they talk about it in the fanfic gap!

dean drives cas to his motel room and he's like. okay. okay so are we going to talk about this and cas is like HMM not saying anything and dean's like dude don't make me make you show it to me because you know i will. like. basically dean's being insane and he doesn't want to cross lines and ACT insane on the outisde so he's like cas just pls be HONEST with me and cas is like ugh. okay. fine yes i have it too yes it's the same one and dean's like huh. HUH. okay so what does this mean and cas is like idk I'm an angel and I'm not supposed to be having these things. and dean is like. no like. but you are human now and cas is like I WASN'T BORN ONE YOU MORON. and then he's like. well this is probably a glitch anyway. and dean is soooooooo sad at that and he's like glitch? what do you mean glitch? and cas is like well you see when i raised you from hell i had to feed you some of my grace and ig this is a side effect bc reciprocation happened and dean's like ....what? and cas is like I'm not your soulmate I'm your carbon copy. and dean is like. DEVASTATED. but also Somewhere deep down he is convinced that cas is his soulmate now (bc he's in love w him. that's the reason.) so he's like well how do you know what if it's really a soulmark what then and cas is sooooooo mad at the implication like he can be in love with Dean but how DARE he bring it up out in the open like this like how dare he make cas confront it esp when dean's been super cruel to him lately (honestly dean is a denial boy in my head but his whole deal is just. self-denial. like he knows things he just doesn't give them to himself. meanwhile cas is like. 😌 i pretend i do not see it.)

anyway. so then cas is like oooo I'm going to hurt you so he says sth like oh but if i was then you wouldn't have been able to kick me out so easily it would've hurt you and dean can't say anything to that right then yk..

anyway it's a bad night for everyone. and then when dean drives cas out to the gasnsip in the morning it's pretty much the same as canon. but when they're parting ways their soulmark hurts again. and dean is like WHY WON'T HE JUST ADMIT IT and cas is like i wish someone would peel off my skin so i wouldn't have to have this.

idk how it goes after this point. i think over the years the mark becomes more or less permanent. it's not as dark when he has his grace but even then it's not fully gone. it fades in and out just like his grace but it's still. always there. and cas has to deal with it.

dean never brings it up especially after this huge fight. he kind of sees it as a rejection. he asks him once around S10 after his grace is restored and cas is like Yep. It's Gone. (lying through his teeth) and dean's like WELL. GOOD. GOOD. (also lying through his teeth.)

eventually tho they all have to confront the reality of the situation and they obvs get together idk how it happens tho. i would write if i could!!! but i can't!!! SADLY!!!

doing this thing.

#doe's inbox #renu 💫🧡 #ask game #Like im SORRY IM POSTING SUMMARIES WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST ACTUAL WRITING BUT IM NOT IN THE ZONE AND THIS IS FUN SOOOW #spn headcanons #soulmate au #destiel

[wigglebox]

I'm currently thinking about Dean's headspace between 15x18 and 15x20, and thinking about what could possibly motivate him to dig into the story of his parents . . . Of what event might cause him to look more closely at love and his own origins . . . Of reasons why he would be interested in finding out any unsolved mysteries of the archetype love story of SPN. Hmmmmmmmm......

yeah right like ewkfawlkejalkwje

obviously this is just wild spec/wishlisting and what I'm saying here doesn't speak for everyone obviously like this is just meeeeee

but what would be fun for me is just him, as he realizes he's not in heaven [hi I'm jen I'm a heaven denier] and realizes that as time went on from 1518 his emotions were more and more dulled and dampened and so it all comes rushing back.

because that's what it felt like in 1519 and 1520 and into heaven! like someone was slowly draining all of his emotions away.

due to the law of *hand waves*, dean's escalation of grief and immobility increased per-cas death. and he was just fine after this one but going off of the season 13 widower arc, he should have been on that ground for a long time.

but indeed after the lucifer call he never says cas' name again.

so like i want him to just have this rush of 'oh my god jesus christ' come slamming back into him.

but yeah no like but overall, idk when his narration is taking place, I don't think it's in spn prime canon [like pre-heaven] but I also don't think it's heaven?

i hope it remains a mystery for a lil bit lol

but yeah i need to know what's prompting him to do this. what's his mission? what's prompting all of this?

he HAS A JOURNAL NOW?

yeah

#ROBBIE JACKLES DEE TELL ME NOW no it's okay I am ready for the ride #spnwin #spnwin spec

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Remember Me Love When I'm Reborn

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/3oRlaJA by LazarusRose In some ways, Dean thought his death would solve things. He thought it would give him a chance for a happy life in Heaven surrounded by his family, but he was wrong. So he decides to take a ride in his Baby and find that missing piece that keeps him from being happy. Almost everywhere he goes, there is one constant – Castiel. He sees his angel, over and over, finding him in different worlds with different versions of Dean and then watching over him from afar. Back on Earth, Dean didn’t have the words for the feelings inside him, but his afterlife might just provide him with the strength and wisdom to hold on to true happiness when he finds it. Words: 46251, Chapters: 7/7, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Kevin Tran (Supernatural), John Winchester, Meg Masters, Claire Novak, Jack Kline, Bobby Singer (Supernatural), Uriel (Supernatural), Ishim (Supernatural), Zachariah (Supernatural), Lucifer (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Emma (Supernatural: Slice Girls) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Additional Tags: Parallel Universes, Character Death, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post The Winchesters, basically just filling in the gap between The Winchesters and the end of Supernatural, Dean reflects on himself and the nature of his love for Cas, also there are loads of fun alternate worlds, such as, reverse verse, HunterCorp Universe (Supernatural), Croatoan/Endverse, It's a Terrible Life verse, Gender or Sex Swap, Purgatory, Hell, Squirrel verse, Angelic Grace Sex (Supernatural), Sex in/on the Impala (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, They're switches your honor, Cowboy Dean Winchester, Cowboy Castiel, Actor Castiel (Supernatural), Actor Dean Winchester, Creature Castiel (Supernatural), Creature Dean Winchester, Demon Dean Winchester, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, References to John's A+ Parenting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/3oRlaJA

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #(your tags here)

[ababycoffeecollectionfan-blog]

Supernatural

I’m rewatching SPN for the convention in a few months, and I think the show would have been better if Dean was canon bisexual since season 1. Like, Sam knew but John didn’t. Dean liked going on hunts with Sam because he didn’t have to be in the closet. Sam didn’t understand why Dean hadn’t left their dad, who was outwardly homophonic. Dean would make jokes to Sam about how he has a better type in men than Sam, or things like that. When Sam goes on his thing about how he was meant to be a killer, Dean would be like “And I was me g to be straight, but I still fuck guys” or when Sam was upset that Dean sold his soul, Dean would joke “I’m gay, Sammy. I was already going to go to hell.” In season 2, Dean and Andy (The guy with the mind control powers) would have totally slept together. When people would assume that Dean and Sam were a couple, Dean would reply “I am so out of his league.” And explain they were siblings, and that Sam was straight. Dean could have had a scene when he came out to Bobby. Crowley and Dean would have had a canon sextual relationship instead of just subtextual.

Don’t get me started on Castile. After they first meet him, Bobby making fun of Dean for how smitten he was with Castile. Later, Dean kissing Cas during the day they all think they are gonna die. Dean blaming it on being drunk and Cas not understanding why Dean would like him. Sam knowing the truth. After Sam was brought back, and Cas said they have a more profound bond, Dean blushing and leaving the room. Sam asking Cas if he has feelings for Dean. Cas being confused, and Sam talking to him about romantic attraction.

Cas working with Crowley being all the more heartbreaking because Dean loved him, and he thought that Cas might love him back. Dean having a lunch or emotions when Cas died, and trying to get Sam okay, and then CAs comes back and takes on Sams insanity. And him being jealous of Meg.

The hole “Id rather have you, cursed or not..” Being explicitly romantic. Like, no subtext, it was just Deans way of saving he loved him and wanted to be with him. Then in purgatory, then being together, in canon. Having scenes where they kiss and CAs watching over a Dean as he sleeps because CAs doesn’t need sleep. Cas being protective of Dean and not really trusting Benny. Then Dean, coming back to life again, being devastated by Cas “abandoning” him, and being with Benny to distract him. Sam having reservations about Benny and why Dean moved on so fast.

Then when CAs comes back, Dean feeling guilty and happy. Cas wanting to be with Dean again, but being hurt when he finds about about Benny. Cas beating Dean up under mind control being sadder because instead of saying “I need you” Dean saying “I trust you”, “I believe in you” or “I love you.” Which causes CAs to stop. Then he heals Dean, kisses him for the first time since purgatory, and leaves.

Dean and CAs being able to be humans together when Cas can feel more human attraction to Dean, but still choosing to be an angle, even though it dampers his range of feelings for Dean. Dean understanding, but CAs still going out of his was to make Dean understand that he did not choose anything over Dean, and that Dean is everything to him.

Dean and Crowley relationship being the opposite of what CAs and Deans was. Where CAs and Dean shared small kisses and held hands, Dean and Crowley was lustful, not loving.

Cas confused with Dean and Amaras relationship. Dean confused with it as well. Dean introducing Cas to his mom as his boyfriend, the first time he called Cas that. (It was just something that everyone accepted, Dean and CAs were together) Cas being more focused on Jack breaks Dean heart a bit, and he gets jealous.

Dean grieving Cas on a level he never had before after Lucifer kills him becuase at that point they had been together for around 5 years. Dean resenting Jack because he blames him for Cas death, but also loving him because he is Cas’s son, and that’s what CAs would want.

Dean and Cas having Tombstone as their official back-together episode, where Jack asks about the relationship, and Cas explains how he loves Dean to him. Dean and CAs decide to get married. It’s a spur of the moment discussion, and they go to the courthouse and get married the same day (they fake a bunch of documents), and buy matching silver rings. Michal possessing Dean hurting Cas because he knew that Dean was never meant to be with him, Dean and Michael were the paring. Cas hating God for making Dean Moxbael’s sword. In the Lebanon episode, John and Dean having a moment where Dean tells John that he’s bisexual, and that he is in love with CAs, and his a hole monologue about how he cares about Cas and how amazing Cas in, Cas hearing it, and kissing Dean infrount of John. John shaking Cas hand and asking questions about angels. Sam being proud that Dean stood up to John.

Dean blaming Cas for Mary’s death. The heartbreak of Jacks death, as he was Dean and Cas’s son. Cas wanting to use it was a reason they would be together, Dean wanting nothing to do with Cas. In The Trap, having a scene where they talk about their relationship, and how they have to be honest with each other and how that is the only way it’s going to work. Dean, not completely forgiving CAs, but agreeing to give him a second (or 3rd or 4th) chance, because he loves him. Cas opening up about how it hurt him that Dean let Micheal posses him, and how he’s always felt insecure about that. Dean assuring CAs that he has nothing to feel insecure about, and assuring Cas that Dean always had and always will chose Cas over almost anyone, the only exception being Sam or Jack.

Dean screaming after Cas’s death. Him being completely devastated and crying and just broken after Cas died. Sam having to literally pick him up off the floor where he cried himself asleep and Sam already knowing what happened when he saw Dean in his state. Jack holding Dean afterwards and trying to comfort him, and Dean just drinking a lot to feel better.

Then when he dies, and he sees Bobby, and Bobby tells him CAs is here, he asks where and they have a happily ever after.

#Supernatural #destiel #spn #headcanon

[buckleydiazmp4]

I'm not the original anon who asked about 911 but I am also curious about the Buddie situation? can you tell me abt them?

oh hi!

well here goes my attempt to explain.. them?? i guess?

(decided to put it under the cut bc it's long and i don't wanna disrupt anybody's dash)

i don't know where you stand in terms of supernatural/destiel, but since the last anon asked me abt buddie v destiel in terms of queerbait then i'll take that as a point of comparison

destiel was indeed the main queerbaiting method used by the cw to promote spn. they knew that most of the audience had been watching the show thanks to cas and dean's chemistry and wanted them to be together. however, for many reasons, mainly homophobia or probably chain of command etc etc, they were never gonna make them explicitly canon. so instead they kept.. "amping up"??? the chemistry and the romantic subtext between them enough to keep the audience engaged but keeping plausible deniability. obviously after the last season and the whole bury your gays where they killed off cas, ppl were angry. it was and still is a whole thing bc honestly the cw sucks.

tl:dr #1, destiel was queerbait and ppl who watched spn are now in fear of living through it again when watching other shows

anyways, onto buddie.

ppl who haven't watched 911 but see a lot of buddie content fear that the show is basically doing the same thing, adding little details and subtext between buck and eddie to engage queer viewers or buddie shippers in general and thus have a bigger audience.

what i don't know, but i think is pretty subjective, is if the previous anon would have 911 ruined for them if they started watching, shipping buddie, and then they never got together explicitly in the show.

911 is currently still running and imo there is definitely some amazing chemistry between buck and eddie, not to mention a romantic relationship between them would make total sense.

SPOILERS AHEAD! SKIP THIS PART IF YOU WANT

buck and eddie are pretty much the closest friendship in the show, veering strongly into romantic territory. buck has had a string of catastrophic relationships with women throughout the show, and it's always implied that they don't work because buck needs someone who really knows him, loves him and wants to commit to a serious relationship with him. (eg, a best friend or someone to form a family with).

this particular struggle of buck's is easy to parallel with his relationship with eddie, who has his own relationship problems (including a wife who he separated from, tried to get back together with, and then she died), since he hasn't had any stable love interests.

a crucial part in all of this is christopher, who is of course the person who eddie loves and cares for above all else. chris has had a big say on the way eddie's relationships turn out, because loving eddie means loving chris.

guess who loves chris with his whole heart and is pretty much a second parental figure to him? buck.

between that and the outrageous life-or-death (or psychological distress) situations they have lived through together, there's an unbreakable bond between them. they confide and rely on each other in nearly every aspect of their lives, both during good and bad times.

SPOILERS OVER!

i personally have fun and adore buck and eddie's relationship as it is currently, and yeah, i'd love for them to be canon as much as the next person. but i'd also be okay if they continued to give us the same buddie dynamic we have right now.

there are a lot of meaningful moments and scenes that basically reaffirm how truly close they are even outside the plot they show us on screen. i love that because it's like they're giving us little blank spaces to fill up with headcanons and fics and gifsets and that is so fun!!

but certain ppl are more adamant in their desire to see their relationship develop romantically on-screen. despite not being one of those people, i get why they want that and i sincerely hope they get it!!

but if it doesn't happen, i'll still happily watch the buck and eddie we've been given and cherish all of their interactions. that and of course as i said in the previous ask, i love 911 for a LOT more reasons than just buddie.

tl;dr #2, buddie isn't canon, whether or not it's queerbait depends on who's watching and how they're watching, but 911 is still worth it as a whole.

#whew... this post ended up being much longer than i expected #anyways if anyone reads this essay-level answer to the end then hi! thanks for putting up with me and my obsessions lol #and i hope more ppl start watching 911 because it truly is wonderful. buddie aside even though i adore them #anon #sara answers #911 #buddie

[keikakudori]

okay lu, list off the top 5 most toxic traits/most unhealthy aspects of aigin, go, before the mobs arrive thinking you actually don’t see them as unhealthy —

i never said they were not UNHEALTHY I JUST SAID THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS HEALTHIER THAN THE ONE AIZEN HAD WITH SHINJI----

but top five you say? alright then, let me think here.

at the top of the list, we have that mutual murder attempt between them. and it was very much mutual; gin killed aizen. for a minute, aizen was dead. then he woke back up and he was going after gin in kind and that is probably at the top of the list. of course, we get to see the repercussions for it when the blood war rolls around and even in a canon divergent verse, this is not yet something that they have really hashed out yet.

we also have rangiku and gin's lack of communication in regards to "you took a piece of her soul you fucker---" which is there for sure. after all, aizen MIGHT HAVE changed things at least a LITTLE if he had been aware of that whole thing. of course, might is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.

though nothing sexual happens, there is an undeniable air of grooming that does hover around the edges of aizen's relationship with gin. yes, gin threw himself into his relationship with aizen wholeheartedly from the moment they actually and officially met, but aizen also had plenty of room to guide gin's growth. he never told him directly i want you to do this and this in regards to our plans but he preferred to make suggestions; if gin chose to go his own way? alright then. but there is that subtle aspect to them all the same.

when it comes to their sex life, sometimes consent is -- admittedly dubious, if almost lacking. that isn't to say that they don't listen to one another if the word "no---" comes into play (do they even have a safeword, cas? do they?) and it's meant, but just because it's not being said means that what's happening is great. of course, they're also both strong enough to stop the other if they really want to, but---

oh. and they're murder husbands. they have committed war crimes and unethical experiments together. like it is canon that aizen modified or crafted mestacia which led to kaien's death which led to aaroniero's birth so that counts. the toxic kicks in because they can have fun while committing these casual murders when it comes down to it. like that's not healthy i'm pretty sure.

we also have honorable mentions of

mutual manipulation of one another.

the lack of communication on important issues (they are both guilty of that).

the mutual obsession with one another; gin aimed himself directly at aizen and made sure that aizen paid heed to him. and then it just went from there.

the power imbalance that sat between them for years though aizen will absolutely assert from the outset of their relationship stepping past the boundary of sexual tension and into actual sex that gin is his equal. he's a captain now and while aizen is stronger than he is? gin's really not that far behind. years of weight training thanks to aizen's reiatsu.

and also the fact that gin would deliberately flirt with other people in front of aizen with the desired result of having aizen slamming him into a wall and snarling at him; this began when gin was a lieutenant and has persisted all the way up to their time together in las noches.

oh AND the fact that they're both absolutely possessive of one another while we're at it. that's one of the aspects of their relationship that is very prominent where they're both concerned; there is no chance of 'sharing' between them.

#godkilller #aigin [ my lungs are punctured—you take my breath away ] #i mean i got asked and this is all aspects of how UNHEALTHY their relationship is #i'm probably not even close to getting all of them #but i will throw a shoe at anyone who tries to go BUT THE AGE GAP #listen. listen to me. shinigami appearances are fucky as all hell. #hiyori is older than gin but she's doomed to be small forever despite also being a very strong character #and we have? nanao? apparently being stuck as a five year old? for close to a thousand years? if she's actually shunsui's niece??? #and then there's toshiro who could absolutely look older if he wanted but he chooses not to #like they're all adults; they are all adult characters. #it's just that hiyori and toshiro look young for the cuteness factor lbr and toshiro was the cash cow SO #but legit age gaps don't mean anything for shinigami

[mlobsters]

supernatural s6e3 the third man (w. ben edlund)

so i wanted to know where cas was, i guess "total anarchy" is a little different from what i said ("heaven politics"). whatever, dean needs some backup from all these pod people.

trying to file away a thought about how the show treats him leaving lisa and its after effects, if he's dreaming about her now. not holding my breath on that. (but maybe this was just an excuse to get both guys shirtless)

is this a random lady sam banged or the lady in the hunter group? pretty and longish brown hair blending together.

also sam is very tan. i wonder side by side how much darker he is than s1. might be due to the lighting/coloring they're going with the past couple seasons which can be really warm and saturated at times.

s1e17 hell house / s6e3 the third man - evolution of tan

ah right, i forgot i knew the sex worker thing.

oh jackles what did they do to your face. i know it looks worse because i have the nighttime warm display on, but oof

dean's just rolling with this totally different personality from sam. it's only been 5 minutes but i haven't been angry and i'm tryin real hard to keep the chill vibe. but...

i guess we're going all-in on the gross deaths.

DEAN Yeah, I suppose. Still driving the plastic piece of crap, huh?

SAM What's your mileage, again?

DEAN Shut up.

well, i appreciate the mention of gas mileage because the amount of money they had to have spent on gas for the impala based on the amount they drive is astronomical. but again, we're just doing the fun banter. i don't really get this version of soullessness.

but then, hmm. thinking of the magicians, which sera gamble was also a showrunner on, they had this thing called a shade: "The Shade is the tiny beating heart of the soul and the part that allows people to process complex emotions and connect to one another. The bonds of friendship, love, intimacy, trust, and compassion all rely completely upon the Shade." they also had it be a release from pain from trauma. and general give no fucks anymore-ness. (were shades in the books... i can't remember)

but anyway it kinda seems like, from what i've seen here, their implementation of soulless is really similar to shadeless. i think i'm grating against it so hard because i want dean to figure it out and he can't figure it out if they're being chummy on a job.

also why isn't dean even silently pissy about sam NOT CONTACTING HIM IN A YEAR THAT DEAN THOUGHT HE WAS STILL IN HELL. i just don't see how there's any plot or explanation that's going to make me think dean would react like this. with how you've had him be about sam for the past 5 years, and established canonically his history with him before that. does not compute for me.

(s3e5 bedtime stories) CROSSROADS DEMON No more desperate, sloppy, needy Dean. 

you don't get demons calling you out to your brother about being desperate, sloppy and needy for nothing.

and zachariah's "sam and dean winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other". but no. dean's all good.

SAM So, what, you -- you like him better or something?

CASTIEL Dean and I do share a more profound bond. I wasn't gonna mention it.

--

DEAN Cas, look, if Sam calls, you answer. Okay? You wing your ass down here, and you tell him, "I don't know." Just because we have some sort of a -- a bond or whatever...

CASTIEL You think I came because you called? I came because of this. 

i wonder how cas's dislike of sam gets translated into fandom (who must have had a field day with the profound bond line)

CASTIEL Sam, Dean, my "people skills" are "rusty." Pardon me, but I have spent the last "year" as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. 

same, bro, same. except the multidimensional wavelength part.

kind of funny this dude is blaming cas for giving the angels free will.

oh someone must have gif'd tobias and hannibal fighting compared with raphael beating on cas. that's funny.

feeling slightly mollified that at least dean brought up sam seemingly not caring about anything.

DEAN Hey man, I'm just trying to figure this out because... something's different with you. You know that.

SAM Yeah. Yeah, I know.

DEAN Really?

SAM Yeah. I mean... I've been hunting non-stop for the past year, kind of... kind of on the wild, you know? So, yeah, I suppose I'm a little rough around the edges.

well that made me wonder how much awareness sam has of what's going on, realizing i assumed he knew but i see it also makes sense if he doesn't. and doesn't care because he's happy (i assume?)

DEAN Yeah, I get that. I just don't think I'm getting the whole scoop. You went to hell, Sam. And believe me, I know what that does to a guy.

SAM To you.

DEAN What?

SAM You know what it does to you. It -- it tortured you. You know? I think it still does. But, Dean... I'm okay.

ouch. that was ugly. we do not need to fuel dean's guilt-shame fire.

still really looking forward to this particular plotline's demise.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 6x03 #robosam #ben edlund #the magicians #sera gamble #by proxy #evolution of sam's tan #spn-tm-thoughts

[carewyncromwell]

Lineage Challenge Day 6: Ask Game

hosted by @kathrynalicemc​

Canon or Fiction? Where did the family name come from? What was your inspiration and who was the first OC you created for it?

Well, to start with, the first family member I made was Carewyn Cromwell, who was also my first MC, period. 

At the time, her surname had been chosen as an homage to the character Aggie Cromwell from the Disney Channel Original Movie Halloweentown, which was one of my favorite witch-centric movies growing up.

Not long after first creating Carewyn, her brother Jacob, and her mother Lane, I found out the name “Cromwell” was a better choice than I’d initially realized. Not only did Lane follow Aggie’s daughter Gwen’s example and give up magic to live in the Muggle world, but Cromwell is a very old name in real-life Britain, making it so that one could have plenty of questions about just how “pure” of blood the Cromwell Clan really is. The name also means “crooked stream,” which actually really suits a family this dysfunctional. Several members of the Cromwell Clan have names belonging to family members of mine -- “Isabelle” is my maternal great-grandmother’s name; “Charles” is my actual (much nicer!) maternal grandfather’s name; “Marilyn” is the name of both my paternal grandmother and both a great-aunt and a cousin on my mother’s side; and “Lane” is both my mother and my favorite aunt's middle name, and likely a lost family surname before that! Several people I’ve known helped inspire several of these characters’ personalities themselves too, even if most of them were infinitely nicer and less disturbed people -- Marilyn Cromwell’s inspiration were the stories my mum would tell me about my maternal grandmother; Blaise’s possessiveness was largely inspired by the mother of a friend of mine; Claire’s “put a happy face on things” attitude is very akin to how my paternal grandmother sometimes behaves; my version of Jacob is largely inspired by my maternal uncle; and Lane overall is a fusion of my mum, stepmum, and aunt. 

Family Ties: What other families are related/connected to this one? Are they Canon families or creator-made families? 

The Cromwells have known family tree links to the Dupont, Yaxley, Fudge, Bulstrode, and Selwyn families. They are also distantly related to all Muggle Cromwells, though all members of the Clan would vehemently deny this. 

Foundations: What year and which OC was the founder of the family line? If the family goes back hundreds of years and you don’t know the first member, tell us about the oldest OC in the family you have created.

The Cromwell Clan is old enough that there’s a lot of disagreement about when they first appeared in Britain, largely because it’s unclear about whether the first Cromwell to appear in Britain was magical at all and was in fact an ancestor of these Cromwells. The first known member of what would become the Cromwell Clan in magical British records is Pendragon Cromwell, a wizard from the 14th century who spoke before the Wizard Council on behalf of Nicholas Malfoy, who had been accused of killing his Muggle tenants and then disguising their deaths as a result of the Black Death.  

Pendragon Cromwell’s backstory is largely clouded by myth at this point, due to how little documentation of him has survived...but he is constantly drawn with the “trademark” Cromwell Blue eyes, which prompts many to believe he was either a Seer, a Legilimens, or both. Legend says that many of the Cromwells born with these eyes ended up inheriting one of these rare talents, though one can surmise from recent history that there were plenty who didn’t, such as Pearl, Claire, Blaise, and all of their children. 

Fun Facts: Do you have any misc lore you have that you haven’t had a chance to post about? Talk about anything you like!

All of Charles’s children have single-syllable names that represent the element directly opposed to the one associated with their Hogwarts house! It all started with me choosing to name Carewyn’s mum Lane, and then the idea branched out: 

Lane ~ Ravenclaw (air) ~ name means “narrow road” 

Claire ~ Hufflepuff (earth) ~ name means “clear” or “bright”

Pearl ~ Gryffindor (fire) ~ name of a gem commonly found under the sea

Blaise ~ Slytherin (water) ~ respelling of the word “blaze”

I also personally imagined that Blaise Cromwell knew Blaise Zabini’s mother at school and she named her son with her old school associate in mind. 😏

Free Space: Feel free to ask any creator a question not listed here and maybe you will get one in return! ❤️🖤

#lineage challenge #hphm #hogwarts mystery #carewyn cromwell #lane cromwell #jacob cromwell #blaise cromwell #charles cromwell #marilyn cromwell #pearl cromwell #claire cromwell #personal