#dean's constant concern for cas >>

[lila-lou]

✨Hot water bottle✨

Summary: You're pregnant and Dean feels like he's letting you down.

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Cas x Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 1147

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

You tiredly pushed your hair out of your face before carefully pulling the blanket off your body and slowly getting out of bed. Your back cracked dully as you stood upright in the room. Your hand went straight to your lower back as a muffled moan escaped you. Your whole body ached and it was almost unbearable, even though you were only seven months pregnant. You still had two months to go and every single one of your muscles was already giving out.

Your eyes wandered to your phone on the nightstand. It was only 3am and the fourth time you had woken up with baby Dean practicing hunting with your bladder. You somehow sluggishly dragged yourself to the bathroom. A few minutes passed before you finally found the strength to get up from the toilet. After washing your hands, you actually wanted to go back to bed, but Castiel, who was sitting at the kitchen table, researching a new case, caught your attention.

“This is the fourth time in 3 hours (y/n). Are you sure you don’t have a bladder infection?”, Cas asked bluntly. He didn't even have to turn around to know you were awake. To get to Dean's room you had to pass through the kitchen, so you paid him a quick visit to answer him.

“Cas, I’m pregnant”, you murmur, looking over his shoulder. “You’re in pain. I can feel that. I can help you”, he replied without taking his eyes off the large book in front of him.

“That's really nice of you, but less than two hours later my back would definitely kill me again. I guess that’s normal”, you sighed before sinking onto the bench next to him. Seconds later, Cas placed a hand on your lower back, still not looking at you. Since your shirt rode up when you sat down, he was able to make direct skin-to-skin contact without much effort. Just as you were about to ask what the hell he was doing, you felt a pleasant warmth radiate from your back throughout your entire body. “Ugh… better than any hot water bottle”, you moaned quietly. "Thanks, Cas".

He didn't answer, but kept his hand in place for a while. Minutes passed before you heard someone enter the kitchen.

"What's going on here?", Dean asked, standing in the doorway with heavy eyes only half open. “Cas! What the hell are you doing?!". His tone was a mix of confusion and tiredness. However, you were also pretty sure you heard an undertone of annoyance. Ever since you were pregnant, Dean had been even more anxious than ever to protect you. He knew that Cas would never do anything that could hurt you, quite the opposite. Cas was the first to find out that you were pregnant. Even before yourself. Since then, he has done everything he can, to support you. Still, Dean couldn't suppress his jealousy well. It wasn't that he doubted your or Cas' feelings or intentions, but rather that he felt unnecessary. Cas could do so much better at many things with his powers and help faster than Dean that he was just afraid of disappointing you.

“(y/n) has a back pain”, Cas finally looked up from his book. “His hand is like a heater”, you added, smiling softly at your boyfriend. Dean inhaled sharply and rubbed his face before walking towards you. “Why didn’t you wake me up? I could have just made you a hot water bottle”, he gently ran his large hand through your hair. His expression was now more concerned than angry. Dean didn’t like how the pregnancy was affecting you at all. You struggled with morning sickness for much longer than most women. Your back pain started much earlier and was much more intense. Not to mention your constant tiredness. And that wasn't even half of your complaints. "I didn´t want to wake you up. You came home so late from hunting”, you admitted, leaning against his stomach. “You can always wake me up baby”, he kissed the top of your head, causing Cas to pull his hand away.

“Come back to bed”, Dean murmured into your hair, gently pulling you to your feet by your hand. As you yawned and rubbed your eyes tiredly, he picked you up without further ado and went back to his room with you in his arms. “Knowing you, you´ll trip and break a leg”, he said amused as you looked at him, surprised that he was carrying you.

“You’re the best”, you whispered against his chest, a slight grin on your lips. Dean looked down at you briefly, pulling in his bottom lip thoughtfully.

"What is wrong?", you traced the contours of his bare chest. He didn't answer, just shook his head slightly. “Dean”, you admonished him, sliding your hand to his neck.

"I hate not being able to help you like Cas", he grumbled, lightly pushing open the door to his room with his foot. "I knocked you up but Cas is taking better care of you than I ever will".

While your eyes were on Dean's face, he purposely looked away. Despite the fact that you had been together for so many months, it was still incredibly difficult for Dean to be vulnerable with you. As he gently laid you down on the bed, you grabbed his hand and made him look at you. “That’s not true Dean”, you whispered, pulling him closer again. “You take great care of me. I don't miss anything and you´re already the best dad I could wish for our Baby. Yes, Cas is helping me and I'm really grateful to him, but he'll never be able to replace you".

You hadn't finished your statement when Dean took his hand away from you and raised both arms slightly in desperation. “No matter what I do, he does it better. Let's just take your back pain. My stupid hot water bottle can't keep up with his magical heater hands".

As Dean whirled around for a few more minutes, you couldn't help but smile slightly. At some point, however, you had to stop his little outburst. “Could it be that your ego is a little bruised?”. You raised an eyebrow.

Dean narrowed his eyes slightly. "Of course it fucking is!". He admitted without thinking too much about it. He sank on the bed next to you, feeling a little depressed. “I want to be a good dad, but I want to be a damn good Boyfriend even more”, he murmured.

A soft smile crept on your lips as you pulled his face towards you with both hands. “You already are. I promise”, you gave him a quick kiss. “And there’s one thing in particular that you’re much better at than everyone else”.

Your smile turned into a smirk.

Dean raised an eyebrow. “And that would be?”, he asked challengingly.

#jensen ackles #spn #dean winchester #dean x you #dean x reader #supernatural #dean x y/n #castiel #castiel x you #castiel x y/n #Dean x pregnant reader

[deancaspinefest]

All in Honesty

Author: golbygloom | Artist: TwinOne

Posting on Tuesday March 19

It's been years of watching Dean and Cas dance around their feelings and at this point, Sam's losing hope that they'll ever take that step and talk things out already. One well-placed spell from Rowena makes Dean and Cas incapable of not talking, but even that doesn't get them together. Will Sam ever be able to help the morons he's forced to live with get together already, or is he destined for a life of perpetually being stuck between them as some sort of bizarre marriage counselor that neither seems aware the other also talks to?

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

"It's just so painful," he laments a few days later to Rowena, both more than a little drunk in the Bunker's library, Dean and Cas having already gone to bed (unfortunately in different rooms). "They're just…so obvious to everyone except each other. How don't they realize?"

"Noo, why should they? It's not like all of Heaven and Hell figured it out before them or anything."

"I just don't get it. I mean, Dean's eyes are always practically glued to Cas' eyes or lips or his butt and he still hasn't picked up on the fact that there might be something a little weird about that if they really were 'just friends'?" Sam's drink sloshes violently in his glass as he gestures around the room, agitated. "Cas only gets an excuse because he hasn't even been on Earth for a decade, but somebody as old as him should probably at least have an idea what all those feelings are, right?"

"Aye, the poor dears don't have a brain cell between them when it comes to matters of the heart, it seems," Rowena says sagely. "They can be more than a little daft when something doesn't involve killing or dying or crying…"

"They're so hopeless," Sam agrees miserably, burying his face in his hands to rub at his forehead and push his hair behind his ears. "I have to live with them so it's just constant. I-I don't know what to do anymore."

Rowena's quiet for a long moment before she hums to herself. "There might be some way to get their heads out from within their tushies…"

He looks up at that, though judging by the twinkle in the witch's eye, he's gonna regret listening. "What do you mean?" he asks warily anyway, blaming the alcohol for him even considering…whatever it is Rowena is going to suggest.

"Well, all it takes is a wee spell or two and those two will be singing like canaries."

"About their disgustingly sappy love for each other?" Sam guesses, but the witch just smirks.

"About everything. Anything that comes to mind." Sam stares at her blankly, but Rowena doesn't seem to notice. "Oh, I imagine it wouldn't be more than but a few days before certain thoughts come out and certain feelings are revealed…"

"Rowena…"

"Don't tell me you've changed your mind? It's not like there are all that many ways to get those two to sit down and talk about their feelings, Samuel."

Sam considers it, his drunken mind unable to see why this might be a bad idea beyond Dean getting pissed off. Then again, Dean gets pissed if he sees something green on his plate, so Sam's not all that concerned. "What's the cure?"

Rowena's smirk widens, nearly splitting her face in two. "True love's kiss."

(continue reading on Ao3 on Tuesday March 19)

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #destiel art #deancas art #pinefest 2024 #pinefest previews #2024 Dean/Cas Pinefest #author: golbygloom #artist: TwinOne #Oblivious Dean #Obvious Cas #Matchmaker Sam

[nighwingsdiscordkitten]

So this is what I have so far on the Dean Winchester character analysis it's a bit all over because I wrote it while on the bud home but I'm writing it in a notebook of mine in a more clear and organized way then gonna re type it once I get it done

Also if you guys don't mind pls add your own character analysis of your own or just things you've noticed during the series because I really don't wanna mischaracterize him and accidentally make him into a complete different person especially since Dean's whole character is literally so important to me

Also I don't want anyone to think I'm gonna excuse the bad things Dean has done to Sam, Cas, and also Jack. I wanna include the fact that he isn't that great of a person and i still wanna hold him accountable for all the bad things he has done throughout the series

How Dean Winchester is. Given the parental role and also the more “women” or ‘feminin’ role in the series and also by the fandom.

Firstly we will talk about the fact that from a very young age (four years old) when his mother died in the fire he was the one to grab Sam from his crib and ran out of the house while his father stayed back. We see this in the very first episode and was also mentioned in one of the later seasons, growing up he was given the parental role because John (the father) was to busy with ‘grieving” his dead wife to the point that he threw himself and his family into the hunter life leave Dean and Sam to grow up on the road with no real home, they stayed in dirty old motels and barely had money to live off of, you can see this by the fact that they never had Christmas and I know that’s not a very ‘big deal’ BUT the fact that Dean had to sneak off and steal from a random home to give Sam some type of Christmas and also the fact that Dean was arrested for stealing some peanut butter bread and then was sent to Sunny’s home or wayward boys. There was also hints that Dean barley ever got to eat and often have his food to Sam so he wouldn’t go hungry at night, I don’t know if it was ever actually mentioned but it was hinted in episodes where Dean would have flashbacks or it was hinted, you can also notice this with how Dean eats his food, it’s more animalistic and rushed while Sam eats more calmer and also less, that is because Sam never had to really worry because Dean always fed him but Dean never knew when his next meal was so I believe it is a trauma response. Another trauma response is also is his savior complex, in the show we often see Dean more concern for Sam then himself and and could also be a readily for his own self destructive tendencies but we’ll talk about that later- since Dean has taken care of Sam his whole life Dean took on the parental role naturally and also started to relaty on Sam to be there constantly because Sam is his only constant figure in his life much how Dean is Sam’s only constant figure as well. Why is Sam and Dean each others only constant figure even tho they both have John tho? Well that is because John wasn’t the parental figure they needed. They only could rely on each other and no one else, sure they had Bobby but they don’t show him much in their flashback so I don’t know how much of a role he had in their childhood because he only really shows up more in their adult life, I do belive Bobby was there in their childhood because we see Bobby and Dean playing catch in season 7 when Bobby dies but that’s pretty much the only scene we get with Bobby and younger Dean every other scene is when Dean is a adult, so that makes me belive even more that Sam was deans only constant and the same with Dean for Sam. Now, about the savior complex, there are multiple examples of Dean wanting to risk his life for same and wanting to ‘save’ Sam for example

•Dean welling his soul in season 1 to same Sam

• Dean wanting to save Sam from ruby and his demon blood addiction

•Dean wanting to say yes to Michel

•Dean trying to get rid of the mark of Cain

•Giving himself up to Amra

•Even giving his own childhood up for Sam

Etc (look up more of deans self scarification)

We also see Deans self destructive tendencies by the fact he pushes people away, him being a alcoholic, him hiding his own traumas and emotions resulting him to have break downs or out bursts of rage because that was what he grew up on. He never learned how to let his anger out in normal healthy ways I believe that was because of John and how he was raised because we constantly see John being abusive and taking his anger out of Dean.

Again this is super all over the place but that’s because it’s still the rough draft I’m planing on rewriting all of this to make more sense and also I still wanna add more things to this as will because There’s so much more I wanna talk about but just can’t put it in words exactly

#dean winchester #dean winchester character study #spn #spn fandom #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #sam winchester #supernatural #spn cast #spn castiel #castiel #Sam and Dean #spn sam winchester #spn dean winchester #supernatural sam winchester #supernatural dean winchester #supernatural characters

[soullessjack]

oh my god also another thing is that the entire domestic au is just so terribly hetero-nuclear. like the show already established TFW2.0 as an unconventional surrogate family by like the end of s13. rowena telling Lucifer that as far as Jack’s concerned, TFW are his fathers altogether. jack telling Sylvia that he has “more dads than most” and telling Laura that Cas is “one of” his three dads. dean telling john he has a family despite it not being the What Is And What Should Never Be -esque vision john had. Sam telling Lily Sunder that Jack is their kid and Cas directly relating Dean’s (and their) suffering in 14x07 as the loss of a son.

and that’s not even getting into how jack and Mary canonically see each other as mother and son, leading into jack technically having 2 moms. they all have house chores. jack has an apron to do the dishes and dean has one to cook. Sam has a jogging routine. they have movie nights and game nights and they go out to eat after hunts. they go shopping in town. Etc etc.

so much of the domestic aus just seem to disregard this entire dynamic, especially when it comes to Sam being the uncle instead of one of Jack’s three dads, or he’s the target of “who’s the mom of the group” discussions. sometimes he doesn’t even live with them anymore?? sometimes they do have a little apple pie life house and cas is (Sometimes) drawn up as effeminate and dainty and very obviously meant to be the Woman or woman-lite in the relationship. Jack is of course either a baby-shaped clutch purse or a smiley cardboard cutout whose entire existence is to make his dads look cuter and gayer.

And it’s just. Weird. Like, I personally read TFW2.0’s family dynamic as inherently nontraditional (see also: queer). The show puts repeated emphasis on it being unconventional, especially from the outside world’s perspective, but maintains that it is their family. It’s the same brand of unconventional surrogacy that has always been part of the show. as @honeyedwhiskey my beloved puts it, “‘the urge to unqueer a queer family and turn it into a nuclear one” is quite strong in this fandom.’”

it’s already happened with destiel and unqueering two men into The Man and The Woman and it’s happening still with the way this fandom views TFW2.0 as a family and their concept of “domesticity.” this constant need to make somebody The Woman or the Mother because you guys have no concept of men being nurturing or of masculinity being inherently queer lmao

#cal.txt #spn #tfw2.0 #destiel #domestic au #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #baby jack #like…. does this make sense I have a headache #queer dean winchester #gay castiel #don’t even get me started on the gender roles I will start spitting blood

[goldenraeofsun]

Day 7: Fine Wine

“You aged like fine wine.”

Castiel chokes on his drink. He slowly turns on his barstool to see a stranger swaying slightly in place. A light sheen of grease – or cheap gel – reflects off his hair in the lights behind the bar, and twin lilac bags sag underneath each eye.

“Pardon?” Castiel says. He discreetly sniffs, but the man must have showered more recently than his appearance suggests. Either that, or he simply drank enough so the scent of alcohol masks the smell of body odor.

“You’re Cas – Castiel,” the man says as he braces himself on the bar and laboriously climbs on the stool next to Castiel. He adds, almost accusatory. “Dr. James Novak of Seattle Mercy Hospital.”

Castiel’s jaw drops.

He hasn’t gone by Dr. Novak in close to fifteen years. He was twenty-two when he got his first role on a longstanding medical soap opera (an impossible age for a doctor of his character’s reported caliber, but Castiel was assured this was normal at SMH).

When Dr. Novak was killed off for the sixth and final time, Castiel went on to play a few bit parts in CSI and Law & Order spin offs. He reached the pinnacle of his acting career a few years ago with his starring role in Hell Hazers II and a seven-line part in a Marvel movie. Afterwards, the acting jobs seemed to dry up, or maybe Castiel was tired of the constant sisyphean cycle of auditions chewed him up and spit him out a little worse than before.

Currently, he teaches high school drama in a local private school. While it doesn’t fill him creatively, he can’t say the same for his bank account. 

“I, yes, I was,” Castiel fumbles. He hasn’t gotten recognized since his Dr. Sexy, MD days, and, even then, it didn’t happen frequently.

The man beams, and the smile transforms his face. He looks almost handsome. “Knew it,” he says. “’M Dean.”

“You already know my name,” Castiel replies, unsure of how to proceed. He’d come to the bar for a quiet celebratory drink – he’d finally finished all his college recommendation letters in time for early decision deadlines. On the other hand, Dean wasn’t technically bothering him as Castiel didn’t have many plans to bother.

“Yeah,” Dean agrees with a long sigh. “Figures I’d run into you today.”

Castiel has no idea what that means.

Dean points a shaking finger in Castiel’s face. “You’re the reason I became a doctor.”

Castiel’s mouth falls open. After a beat, he forces out, “You’re not serious.”

“As a heart attack.” Dean chuckles, the sound grim and humorless.

“I – I’m sorry?” Castiel tries, feeling entirely off balance with the abrupt turn of their conversation.

“Don’t be,” Dean says bitterly. “Not your fault I killed a patient today.”

Castiel shoves his horror down. With a determinedly neutral expression, he says, “I’m sure it’s not your fault,” because he didn’t act in 147 episodes of a medical soap opera for nothing.

Dean shakes his head, tapping the bar to get the bartender’s attention. “A double of Jack for me, and one more of whatever my friend here is drinking.”

As the bartender moves back down the bar to prepare Dean’s order, Castiel frowns. “Are you sure you should be having another?”

Dean scowls. “’M not on call for another 48 hours.”

Castiel gives him a deliberate once-over. “I was referring to your current state of drunkenness.”

Dean waves his concern away. “’M fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

Dean exhales an explosive sigh. “You fuck up a aortic dissection repair on a twelve-year-old who just wanted to perform in her school dance recital next month, and tell me you’re all hunky dory after.”

He’s a surgeon. A pediatric cardiac surgeon.

Castiel inspired a pediatric surgeon?

He leans in, his heart twinging in sympathy for both Dean and his late patient. “I’m sure there were complications.”

Dean mutters, “High blood pressure and Type 2 diabetes.”

Castiel lays a hand on Dean’s arm. “I may not be a real doctor, but I spoke often enough with our medical experts to know those aren’t inconsequential conditions when it comes to your specialty.” 

Dean harrumphs and greedily grabs the drink the bartender sets down before the pair of them. He takes a long pull of his whiskey. “But enough about me. How come you quit acting?”

Castiel shrugs. “It’s a hard life,” he says vaguely, continuing as Dean makes a go on gesture with his free hand. “I was tired of not landing parts and struggling to make my rent each month. I gave it until I turned thirty, and, well, you can guess what happened next.”

Dean snorts into his glass. “At thirty, I wasn’t even done with my residency.” He casts Castiel a surprisingly shrewd look for how much he’s had to drink. “I think you gave up too early. You were doing good stuff.”

Castiel’s biggest sore spot throbs painfully. “Forgive me for tiring of living off PB&Js and inhabiting a technically illegal bedroom according to the housing code of Los Angeles.”

But Dean just huffs a dry laugh. “You haven’t suffered until you try to convince your way too smart younger brother that fluff marshmallow mix and macaroni is exotic and not a move of pure desperation.”

Castiel chokes on his next sip. “That sounds horrendous,” he says, his temper softening.

“Yeah, well, it was food, so,” Dean shrugs, “he ate it eventually. There weren’t that many options while snowed in at the Royale Motel in Scranton.” He tips back the rest of his drink. “We moved around a lot, growing up,” he says, spinning the empty glass between his fingers. “Sometimes the only things I could rely on were the daytime soaps.”

Castiel’s heart breaks. “I would have thought you would have become an actor, in that case.”

Dean laughs. “My old man said actors made shit money, so I picked something else.”

Castiel can’t help rolling his eyes, chuckling lightly under his breath. “Your father was right.”

“Guess so,” Dean says thoughtfully. “D’you miss it?”

Castiel nods. “Every day.”

Dean leans in and lays his hand over Castiel’s. He throws a significant glance at their empty glasses. “Whaddya say we get out of here?” he asks in a suggestive voice.

Castiel blinks. “I – I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Dean pulls back at once, but not before Castiel catches the hurt on his face.

“You’re drunk,” Castiel says gently. “I wouldn’t want to take advantage.”

Dean grunts but gets to his feet without arguing. “’S fine,” he mutters. “Had to shoot my shot, right?”

“Of course,” Castiel says, not exactly sure what he’s agreeing to, but it’s evidently the right thing to say since Dean just nods and starts to walk away, reaching into his jacket. But, to Castiel’s alarm, he pulls out a set of car keys instead of his phone to call a taxi.

Castiel hurries after him. “Dean!” he calls.

Outside the bar, Dean turns around, a smirk playing across his lips. “Change your mind, big guy?”

“What? No,” Castiel says as Dean tenses. “But you can’t drive,” he says helplessly.

Dean scowls. “I’m not that drunk.”

“I’m pretty sure you are.”

Dean rolls his eyes so hard Castiel is surprised they don’t pop out of his skull. “Out of the two of us, only one has a real medical license.”

Castiel crosses his arms over chest. “If you won’t call a cab, come to my apartment. It’s just down the street.”

Dean step forward, and Castiel lets out a silent sigh of relief. “Your apartment?” he repeats. 

“So you can sober up,” Castiel says resolutely. 

Dean shoves his hands in his pockets. “Lead the way, Dr. Novak.”

* * *

Castiel wakes up with a crick in his neck and a shooting pain in his lower back. He never made it to bed after talking with Dean for hours on his sofa in his living room.

A muttered swear comes from behind him, and Castiel cranes his head around to see Dean, still wearing his clothes from last night, bent over Castiel’s finicky coffee machine.

“You have to flip the switch on the side,” he tells Dean as he gets to his feet.

“Mornin’,” Dean says with a grin. “Thanks for letting me stay over.”

“Thanks for not throwing up on my couch and trying to make me coffee.” Castiel slides around Dean to open the cabinet with his mugs. He pulls out his favorite sky blue cup.

“C’mon, I wasn’t that bad.”

After some rooting around, Castiel finds the novelty Dr. Sexy, MD mug he received in a gift basket on his last day of filming. 

Dean laughs out loud as he takes it from Castiel. “It’s even got his cowboy boots!” he exclaims as he inspects it from every angle. 

Castiel nods, turning so Dean can’t see his smile. “You’re welcome to take it,” he says. “I have far more mugs than I need for one person.”

“Aw man, don’t tell me that,” Dean groans, “or else I’ll actually do it.”

“Take it,” Castiel says firmly as he pours coffee into Dean’s new mug. 

Dean cradles to his chest, breathing in deeply. He inhales half of it in one go, to Castiel’s concern. “Christ, that’s the stuff.” He meets Castiel’s astounded gaze with a little grin. He polishes off his cup in the same time it takes Castiel to add enough sugar and cream to his satisfaction. “Coffee is practically a pro sport for surgeons; you have no idea. But I’ll get out of your hair after this,” Dean says, an apologetic note to his words, “but do you mind if I leave my number before I head out?”

Castiel gapes at him before he realizes Dean doesn’t see his answer as so obvious it goes without saying. “Yes, of course,” he says in a rush, half a beat too late. 

Dean grins. “Awesome. You were always on my celebrity hall pass list.” At Castiel’s furrowed look of confusion, Dean’s smile broadens. “You know, that list of longshots that’ll never happen so you might as well give your girlfriend the OK to sleep with Idris Elba or Hugh Jackman or Chris Hemsworth.”

Castiel watched enough Marvel movies to prepare for his own role to know what all those actors look like. “I’m nothing like those men,” he splutters.

“Well, yeah, everyone has a weird one – my last boyfriend would’ve fucked Scar from the Lion King if given half the chance.”

“A flattering comparison,” Castiel deadpans as Dean chuckles.

Once Dean washes out his mug (he insists on it), grabs his jacket, and inputs his phone number in Castiel’s cell, there’s no reason for him to linger. 

Castiel awkwardly trades goodbyes on his threshold before he shuts the door behind Dean. 

He thinks about calling for the rest of the day. Dean is his first thought on Saturday morning too, but he concludes it’s too soon.

He debates reaching out on Sunday, but 48 hours have passed since their first meeting, so Dean’s probably in surgery. It’s clearly a bad time to make contact. 

By Monday, Castiel talks himself out of it altogether. Dean is a pediatric surgeon at one of the most prestigious hospital systems in the county (Castiel looked him up on the off chance Dean wasn’t being truthful, but his degrees are published on the hospital website for all to see.)

Dean saves lives every day. 

Castiel is a washed up actor who peaked a decade ago. The closest he got to saving a life was convincing Siobhan that getting bangs a week before school picture day would not be in her best interest.

But Castiel won’t let his strange run in with Dean mean nothing. In a fit of productivity one weekend, exactly one month after Dean stayed the night at his apartment, he stops by the local theater and marks down the day of their next auditions.

In January, he tries out for a small play written by a local playwright, and wins a part. Not the lead, but a good, meaty character part. 

He mostly forgets about Dean in between classes and his own rehearsals – until the director hands out their complimentary tickets. None of Castiel’s family live in the area, and his friend, Meg, is out of town that week. 

As Castiel wracks his brains for someone to invite, he can’t help but keep coming back to Dean. 

He chickens out of actually calling Dean and instead sends him a picture of the tickets with the date prominently displayed and a short text, “If you’d like to come.”

Dean texts back four hours later.

Dean Winchester 5:22 Sorry surgery just ended Of course I wouldn’t miss *the* Castiel DeAngelos’s big comeback!

#suptober22 #destiel #destiel fanfic #fanfic #actor castiel #doctor dean #first meetings #celebrity au #rae writes fic

[deancasbigbang]

Title: The Places We Hide

Author: Stu

Artist: noemi r

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Castiel/Dean, Castiel/Crowley (past), Dean/Lee (past), hinted Dean/Donna

Length: 40000

Warnings: Major Character Death (past) (Sam) Gunshot wound Show level violence Divorce proceedings PTSD Grief

Tags: Slow Burn, Angst with a happy ending, Human!Cas, Hermit!Dean, Hunting AU, Hurt/Comfort, Imagine there's no Heaven(ly influence), John died in this AU instead of Mary, Wendigo, Undine OFC

Posting Date: October 20, 2022

Summary: Castiel is going through it. He’s been dumped by his husband and demoted at work. A walk in the woods to clear his head makes it all horrifically worse. Luckily, he is saved by a bearded stranger. Through his recovery Castiel searches for the man in the woods. When he finds Dean, an unlikely friendship grows. As Cas comes to terms with the way his life is changing, Dean opens up a whole new world to him. With a job opportunity across the country, Cas looks for a fresh start. But Dean cannot follow, not until the biggest hunt of his life is dealt with. And Cas is too scared to ask him anyway, almost until it's too late. Can Dean slay the monster that killed Sam over twenty years ago? Will Cas be brave enough to ask him to join Cas in his new life? Will either of them work through their demons and trust their feelings?

Excerpt: “Mr. Novak, you were found in your vehicle, alone,” the doctor explains. “I was going to wait awhile until we let the police in to go through the whole thing, it being a gunshot wound. But there was no sign of anyone else nearby.” “What?! No—” Castiel snaps. “Then how did I get an ambulance?” “A park ranger found you and called 9-1-1,” Dr. Barnes continues. “It’s a good thing she did too, because you had lost a lot of blood. Which is why we have had you resting.” The last words sound more like a threat than an explanation. Castiel looks at the woman and swallows underneath her glare. “Of course. I guess—- I’ll know more when I speak to the police.” Missouri clears her throat. “Mr. Novak? Your roommate wants to speak with you.” Sheepishly, Castiel takes the phone, knowing what is in store for him. “Hello, Charlie,” Castiel’s low voice rumbles, both a greeting and a retreat.  He sighs as she unleashes. “WHAT DO THEY MEAN YOU’VE BEEN SHOT?! Was it him? Do I need to testify to domestic abuse?” He pulls the phone away from his ear and smothers Charlie’s panic against his chest. “Thank you, I’ll call if I need anything—- or I guess let me know when the police need me.” There is only Missouri nodding at him, the doctor must have moved onto the next patient already. With a hint of a chuckle in her farewell glance, the nurse leaves Castiel to calm the excitable geek. “Charlie, I’m fine—- it wasn’t Fergus, you watch too many true crime documentaries. It was a deer hunter in the woods.----- I hadn’t realized it was gun season already.---- I know that now.” The conversation is neverending, Castiel’s breathing strains from the constant need to reply. Once she finally calms down, Charlie suddenly sounds very small, “you could have died.” Castiel exhales and closes his eyes against the wicking of that truth. “I know.” “I’m gonna come visit after work. Uriel and Zachariah were all over me looking for you this morning. Man are they not gonna believe—” The department swap. What was left of Castiel’s emotional bandwidth cuts out and static fills his ears. He swallows, but he can no longer focus on Charlie’s story. Of all the days to miss work, it had to be today. And then he laughs mirthlessly underneath his breath. He nearly died, and losing his job is still his greater concern.  Maybe Fergus was right, maybe he needs to reconsider his priorities. “I should go— the police want to ask me some questions.” “Yikes, that sounds like another helping of shit on your sandwich,” Charlie laments. “Well, I don’t know anything, so who knows,” Castiel replies. “Call before you come, I don’t think this is my permanent room.” “Of course, take care! And don’t flirt with cops while drugged, trust me, it’s not as helpful as it sounds,” Charlie adds on. “Goodbye, Charlie.”

DCBB 2022 Posting Schedule

#dcbb 2022 #fic preview #2022 promo #deancas #destiel

[shallowrambles]

Dear diary, notes for tomorrow - interesting things to think about />>

When Cas found out his superiors were letting the seals fall, there are immediate implcations for the Dean mission in Hell being purposely botched; i.e. potentially, angels put forth bad intel to ground soldiers; potentially, did someone let the first blood get shed for The prized Destiny fight?

Need to rewatch and pay attention to if angels submitted to the prize fight idea before Dean shed blood, or simply went along with it after that fact. Michael sounded very convinced that the fight had to happen if I recall...

Either way, Cas might be suspicious they were letting it happen all along. It motivated him enough to determine that the angelic war was a war of aggression and manipulation on humans, and that in turn motivated him to break rank and try to get a message to the humans. That's a full on moral injury; "my cause is corrupt; my superiors are acting wrongly" injury

Then he got tortured. :(

////

And later in Chuck's house>>> Raphael killing Cas = personal betrayal to him? He knew he would die but maybe he was surprised a little bit, hurt, even (vengeful?) Could this have set up a personal thing with Raphael. It seemed personal in 5x03. I like the idea of Cas being closer to Raphael and it representing a more hurtful breach. (i don't think it's a new idea in fandom; i just like it)

////

Why was Raphael so demoralized. "We just want it to be over." Why so despondant, nihilistic, depressed?" Why was he so rearin' to pick up the apocalypse again? Is he just nihilistic? Similar to AU Michael? Or lost without his brothers. It's a life without meaning, immortality without reprieve...

Metatron changes only when he almost dies, right before he meets up with Chuck. It was the almost-dying, mercy, and miracle of being alive that renewed him to the point he stood up to Chuck.

////

After the end of season 5, Cas went to Heaven to be like a "sheriff." That looked callous to Dean BUT Cas was concerned about the chaos...worried

He snapped into mission mode immediately but kept the details mostly private.

He then became ashamed of the angels for wanting to go after the humans again. Frustrated.

////

And due to what he went through in seasons 4-5, he's got that weighty moral injury telling his brain to be mistrustful of superiors and angels. Of course, he's feeling like he is partially home, and partially in enemy territory. Of course that sets him up to distrust his angelic soldiers, even the ones going up against Raphael with him!

The fallout of this is why Cas needs constant reassurance from his soldiers, and it's why he needs allegiance to feel comfortable.

His "family" operated in this all-or-nothing fashion. To Cas, this is what support looks like. To Cas, this is the type of power his distant father wielded. Loving punishment. Ruthlessness punctuated with gentleness.

////

And I think about this one a lot:

Would he have started a civil war without Crowley or submitted to / died heroically against Raphael?

CROWLEY What are you planning to do about Raphael?

CASTIEL What can I do besides submit or die?

CROWLEY Submit or die? What are you, French? How about resist?

CASTIEL I'm not strong enough, and you know it.

CROWLEY Ah, not on your own, you're not. But you're not on your own, are you? There's a lot of angels swooning over you. "God's favorite." Buddy boy, you've got what they call sex appeal.

CASTIEL Thank you. Get to the point.

CROWLEY Angels need leaders, so be one. Gather your army and kick the candy out of each and every angel that shows up for Raphael.

CASTIEL Are you proposing that I start a civil war in heaven?

CROWLEY Ding! Ding! Ding! Tell him what he's won, Vanna.

///

CASTIEL This is pointless. Your plan would take months, and I need help now.

///

CROWLEY Everything you've worked for -- everything that Sam and Dean have worked for -- gone. You can save us, Castiel. God chose you to save us. And I think...Deep down...You know that.

CASTIEL I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment...

INT. KEN LAY'S HEAVEN

CASTIEL Or the next. (Castiel uses the power of the souls to remove Raphael from the room.) There will be no Apocalypse. And let it be known -- you're either with Raphael or you're with me. And so went the long road of good intentions...The road that brought me here.

///

Cas's inability to trust his own rebel angels is interesting, but it does make sense and it results in a sort of wild, tragic (and often well founded) paranoia.

I just. Hmmmmm these problems existed in Cas way, way before The Winchesters. He's a morally injured soldier at this point, and it shows.

#interesting things to ponder #moral injury

[angelfishofthelord]

That casnatural vid you just reblogged makes me crazy bc I want to just focus on how much I love Cas there but it's making me annoyed with Dean, when I'm trying very hard not be constantly annoyed with Dean lol. It's just as soon as he hears Cas ran away his "what?" and everything after that IMMEDIATELY has such a judgemental and ofc-I'm-right-I'll-never-question-my-first-thought tone to it, and eventually Cas plays along bc he knows Dean will never question his first thought ashdg.

Wow sorry if you weren't looking for random venting in your ask.

oh god that video stirred so many emotions in me. like it made me think that the reason cas didnt say right away that he ran away to protect dean because that sounds too noble, too self-applauding, and cas wants to feel guilt he wants to exist in a state of constant penance and like you said he Knows dean will immediately judge him if he says "I ran away" so he says that to feel the arrows of vitriol he thinks he deserves.

also dean just has anger as his default reactive emotion when he's worried when he's scared when he's surprised when he's concerned when he's confused anger is his first response and im like honey take a breath and ask more questions before lashing out

also dont worry about random venting it is totally welcome <3 the struggle to not feel annoyed about how dean often treats cas in canon is real and i feel it too.

#inbox asks

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 104

My Bloody Valentine

How am I supposed to watch this episode without the constant thought of "there he is, the world's first almost-closeted-straight person"?

"My Bloody Valentine"

Plot Description: Castiel helps Sam and Dean hunt down Cupid on Valentine's Day after people begin killing each other for love.

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes?: Being aroace has its advantages, goddamn. Yeah. Yeah, I survive. Because I can't imagine myself FOR REAL being put in this kind of situation

You know it's bad when it even grosses out one of the Winchesters.

See. This is how I know for a fact that I'm ace. So, the girl from the first five minutes (ignoring the patriarchal shit that goes along with it), according to her friend/maybe roommate, still had her promise ring and never engaged in premarital sex. And while the friend is like "still don't know how she did it...or didn't do it" I'm sitting here like "it's not that difficult. It's really not."

Wow. I'm...the woman was too stunned to speak. Okay, not really. But...Dean having referred to Valentine's Day as "Unattached Drifter Christmas" in the past sure is something. And Sam's concern that Dean not wanting to participate in his usual VDay antics is akin to a dog not wanting to eat. But like...Sam you went to the victim's house not the coroner. If I knew there was anything like that goin around, I wouldn't want to be pursuing anything either, ace or not.

I'm...this woman just shot her boyfriend's boss because the boyfriend didn't show up on time for their date. WHAT THE FUCK IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING???

Why's Sam staring down that dude?

THERE HE ISSSSSS, THE WORLD'S FIRST ALMOST-CLOSETED-STRAIGHT PERSON

I can never get enough of Dean trying to wrap his head around a situation and Cas coming in to refute one singular detail. Makes my life so much better.

What was that LOOK, Dean? "A cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him before he kills again" "Of course we do" followed by

THIS LOOK!!!! What is that, Dean???

I can stand by and accept Dean not wanting to Gino it and get laid even on Valentine’s Day, but not even wanting to eat a burger????? Now that’s too far

I'm also concerned about Cas grabbing Dean's burger TO eat

I...could not have come back to a more ridiculous episode. This scene with the cupid/cherub/whatever you want to call it...I'm just. I mean, it did take me just a hair too long to realize that the implication was that he is fully naked. So, the discomfort in the room here (on the part of both Winchesters and Cas) is...I couldn't have planned this nor could I have planned this better

Ooooo, it's that guy again. Oh, Sammy, you're in the danger zone. RESIST DRINKING THE DEMON BLOOD, SAM.

I figured we were getting another of the four horsemen from the preview, but why didn't I realize it'd be famine? o.m.g.

Oh shit, dude can eat DEMONS, TOO??

So, is Dean just unaffected or just YET TO BE affected? Cas is eating sliders like there's no tomorrow and Sam's craving demon blood in ways he hasn't all season. I'm...I'm not prepared to see what could happen to Dean.

This had to be either one of the best or worst days of Misha's life on set. The NUMBER OF BURGERS HE'S HAD TO EAT ON SCREEN AND SAY HIS LINES THROUGH

I can't believe Cas had the AUDACITY to ask Dean if he though of himself as well adjusted.

(God...I want a burger so badly now)

Sammmmmmm, no, you were doing so good, buddy. But I forgive you for this one because this truly isn't you. This IS famine.

Dude, Dean, he JUST left. Oh, good lord. Okay, you were right. Didn't REALLY need to see him eating raw ground beef out of a pan, but it gets the point across

Dean's so sassy at the most inopportune times. I love him for it. But I also know I'm about to be devastated by whatever famine's about to say to him...why Dean doesn't hunger like everyone else in this town.

I was right. Well, I was mostly right. The longer famine talked, the less effective it became, but essentially there is a void inside Dean that nothing could ever possibly fill, so what's the point of hungering for anything? (But then famine had to go and say "inside, you're already dead" which just killed how painful it was)

I have this weird feeling that, since Sam didn't kill the demons and allowing famine to eat their souls (real sentences you type when you watch supernatural), we're gonna get a scene like in Night at the Museum when Dick Van Dyke becomes an ass-kicking old man for reasons...or not. Sam's just gonna drag out all the demon souls famine just ate using his psychic powers (more real sentences of things that actually happen in this show)

Oh...oh, Dean...I need to hug him

"Been On My Mind...": No, but because I have absolutely no idea where we were in the countdown, I'm just gonna put it at 9

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

[lila-lou]

✨Beyond saving - Pt. 2✨

Summary: Dean is back and no longer a demon. But with all the emotions he has to deal with now, he would rather die.

This is part 3 of "Beyond saving".

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only!, Mention of rape, Language, Angst, Hurt

Word Count: 5518

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As the hours stretched on, the pain seemed to deepen, sinking into your bones and settling in your soul. At first, you lay on the floor, tears flowing freely as you grappled with the overwhelming sense of despair that threatened to consume you.

But as time passed, a numbness set in, dulling the sharp edges of your agony and enveloping you in a cold, empty void. You lay there, lost in the darkness of your own thoughts, the weight of your suffering pressing down on you like a leaden blanket.

After hours and with trembling limbs and tears streaming down your face, you forced yourself to your feet, the pain in your broken wrists and ribs a constant reminder of the brutality you had endured.

With each step, you felt the weight of your pain bearing down on you, threatening to crush you beneath its unbearable burden.

You made your way towards the bathroom, each movement filled with agony.

As you sank into the warm embrace of the bathtub, the water enveloped you like a soothing balm, offering a brief respite from the relentless ache that gripped your body. But even as the comforting embrace of the water washed over you, the pain remained.

Your wrists throbbed with a dull, persistent ache, the broken bones protesting with every movement. Each breath sent sharp spikes of pain shooting through your ribs, the fractured bones protesting against the strain of simply existing. And between your legs, your pussy throbbed with a raw, tender soreness, a painful reminder of Dean's brutal assault.

As you lay there, staring blankly at the water stained crimson with your own blood, you couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness wash over you. It wasn't just your body that bore the scars of Dean's cruelty, but your heart and soul as well.

Your face bore the imprint of his violence, your Skin bruised and swollen. And beneath the water, your bruised buttocks throbbed with pain, the memory of his forceful kneel still fresh in your mind.

As Sam and Cas returned to the bunker, a sense of urgency filled the air. Sam's heart raced with fear as he noticed the dried blood staining the kitchen floor, his mind racing with dread at the thought of what could have happened to you. Without hesitation, he began knocking frantically on the bathroom door, calling out your name with increasing desperation.

"Y/N, open up!", Sam's voice was filled with concern and panic as he pounded on the door, his hands trembling with fear. "Please, we need to make sure you're okay!".

But there was no response, only silence echoing back at him from the other side of the door. His heart sank as he exchanged a worried glance with Cas, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on him like a heavy stone.

"Cas, we need to get this door open", Sam urged, his voice laced with urgency as he turned to his angelic friend for help. "Something's not right. I can feel it".

With a determined nod, Cas focused his powers, channeling his energy into the door with a burst of light. In an instant, the lock clicked open, and Sam pushed the door open with a sense of dread gnawing at his insides.

But as he stepped inside, what he saw took his breath away. There you were, lying motionless in the bathtub, surrounded by water tinged with the faint traces of blood. Sam's heart clenched with fear as he rushed to your side, his hands trembling as he reached out to touch you.

"Y/N, can you hear me?", Sam's voice was thick with emotion as he gently shook your shoulder, his eyes wide with fear. "Please, say something. Anything".

But you remained silent, your eyes vacant and distant as you stared blankly ahead. Sam's heart sank as he realized the depth of your pain.

As Sam pleaded with Cas to heal you, desperation crept into his voice, his eyes pleading with the angel for help. But despite Cas's best efforts, his healing powers seemed ineffective against the depth of your injuries. You looked terrible, completely broken, your body bearing the physical and emotional scars of Dean's cruelty.

Gently, Sam scooped you up in his arms, wrapping a towel around you with Cas's help, mindful of your fragile state.

As he held you close, he could feel the weight of your pain pressing against him. With each sob that wracked your body, his heart broke a little more, his own tears mingling with yours as he whispered words of comfort and reassurance.

"You're safe now, Y/N", Sam murmured softly.

With each step, each movement, you cried out in pain, your broken body unable to withstand even the slightest touch.

Again Cas tried to heal you. His touch enveloped your broken body, his powers surging forth with a gentle glow. With a focused determination, he began to mend the shattered bones in your wrists and ribs, his efforts slowly easing the physical pain that wracked your body.

As the warmth of his healing magic spread through you, you felt a glimmer of relief wash over you, the sharp edges of your agony blunted by his divine intervention. But even as your physical wounds began to heal, the scars that marred your soul remained untouched, a constant reminder of the darkness that had consumed you.

With a heavy heart, Cas realized the limitations of his power. Despite his best efforts, he could mend your broken bones, but the wounds that lay within you ran far deeper than he could reach.

"I've done what I can for your injuries", Cas murmured softly, his voice filled with regret as he regarded you with a solemn gaze. "But healing your soul… that will take time".

Sam's heart ached as he watched you, his own eyes filled with a mixture of compassion and sorrow. He longed

Three long weeks passed before you found the strength to speak again, the weight of your silence bearing down on you like a heavy burden. With trembling lips, you finally opened up to Sam, your voice barely above a whisper as you recounted the horrors that Dean had inflicted upon you.

"I… I couldn't stop him", you began, your voice trembling with emotion as you struggled to find the words to convey the depth of your suffering. "Dean… he… he hurt me, Sam. He hurt me in ways I can't even begin to describe".

Sam's eyes filled with tears as he listened to your words, his heart breaking with each revelation. He reached out to you, his hand offering silent support as you continued to speak, recounting the brutality of Dean's actions with a raw honesty that left him reeling.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N", Sam whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I had no idea… I never thought Dean could… could do something like that".

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to come to terms with the reality of what had happened. "I… I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him", you admitted, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at him the same way again".

From that moment on, everything changed. The lightness and laughter that had once filled the bunker were replaced by a heavy silence, the weight of your pain casting a shadow over everything you did. Even the thought of Dean filled you with a sense of dread and betrayal, and you found yourself withdrawing further and further into yourself, your hope for redemption slipping away with each passing day.

Six months had passed since Sam had succeeded in healing Dean from the darkness of his demonhood. As Sam carefully uncuffed him in the dimly lit basement, a sense of trepidation hung heavy in the air. Dean’s first question, as the shackles fell away, was for you.

“Where is she?”, Dean’s voice was filled with a mixture of concern and longing as he scanned the room, searching for any sign of your presence. But Sam’s expression remained firm, his resolve unyielding as he stood between Dean and the truth.

“Not now, Dean”, Sam replied gently, his voice tinged with sadness. “She’s… she’s not ready to see you yet”.

Dean's heart sank at Sam's words, a heavy weight settling in his chest at the thought of your absence. "I understand", he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm… I'm not sure I'm ready to see her either. Not after what I did".

Sam's gaze softened with empathy as he looked at his brother, understanding the depth of Dean's guilt and remorse. "She's been struggling, Dean", he explained gently, his voice filled with concern. "It hasn't been easy for her these past six months. She's… she's hurt".

Dean's jaw tightened as he listened to Sam's words, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him like a leaden weight. "I know", he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "And it's all my fault".

Sam reached out, placing a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder. "We'll get through this together, Dean", he reassured him, his voice steady despite the turmoil raging within him. "But it's going to take time. It's going to take a lot of work to earn back her trust".

As you entered your room, after a few days at Jodie´s, the familiar scent of Dean enveloped you, sending a shiver down your spine. It was a scent you had once found comforting, a reminder of the love and connection you shared with him. But now, it filled you with a sense of unease, dredging up painful memories that you had tried so hard to bury.

Unaware that Dean was back and healed, you began to unpack your belongings, your mind drifting back to the last time you had been in this room together. The memory of his touch, his laughter, and the warmth of his embrace lingered in the air, a bittersweet reminder of what had been lost.

Little did you know, Dean had been there just moments before, his presence lingering like a ghost in the room. He had come seeking solace in the familiar surroundings, hoping to feel some connection to you.

But as you moved about the room, your senses tingling with the weight of his presence, a sense of foreboding washed over you. It was as if the walls themselves were closing in, suffocating you with the memories of a love that had turned sour.

And as you stood there, frozen in place, the realization slowly dawned on you—Dean was back. He was here, in this room, just minutes ago, his presence a haunting reminder of the pain and betrayal you had endured.

Tears welled in your eyes as you struggled to come to terms with the truth, the weight of his absence and his return crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You knew that facing him again would reopen wounds, dredging up emotions you had spent months trying to suppress.

As tears streamed down your cheeks, Sam found you frozen in the room, your emotions palpable in the air around you. Concern etched deep lines into Sam's face as he approached, his footsteps slow and deliberate.

"We need to talk", Sam said gently, his voice filled with compassion as he reached out to touch your shoulder.

You turned to face him, your expression a mixture of anguish and resignation. "I already know", you whispered hoarsely, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sam's brow furrowed with concern as he moved closer, his hand lingering on your arm. "Y/N, I know this is hard, but you can't just run away from this", he urged softly, his eyes searching yours for some sign of understanding.

But you were already moving towards the door, your mind clouded with pain and uncertainty. "I can't do this, Sam", you choked out, your voice breaking with emotion. "I can't face him again, not after everything that's happened".

Sam's grip tightened on your arm, his expression filled with determination. "You don't have to face him alone", he insisted, his voice unwavering. "I'll be there with you, every step of the way".

For a moment, you hesitated, torn between the desire to flee and the need to confront the truth. But in the end, it was Sam's unwavering support that gave you the strength to stay.

With a heavy sigh, you nodded, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that bound you together.

As the days passed, the weight of Dean's presence hung heavy in the air, a constant reminder of the turmoil that engulfed your life. Despite Sam's assurances, you couldn't bring yourself to face him, the fear and uncertainty gnawing at your insides like a relentless beast.

Each night, you lay awake in bed, listening to the echoes of Dean's screams as he wrestled with his nightmares. His tortured cries pierced the silence of the night, a haunting melody that echoed through the empty corridors of the bunker.

And during the day, you remained holed up in your room, barricaded behind closed doors as you sought refuge from the chaos that threatened to consume you. The sound of Dean's footsteps outside your door sent shivers down your spine, the fear of his presence paralyzing you with its intensity.

Sleep became a distant memory, your mind plagued by a never-ending carousel of worries and anxieties. Dark circles formed beneath your eyes, a testament to the sleepless nights and endless torment that plagued your every waking moment.

In the kitchen, your hands trembled as you reached for another cup of coffee, the bitter taste a poor substitute for the comfort you so desperately craved.

Cas found you in the kitchen, his concern evident in the furrow of his brow as he took in your tired and worn appearance.

"Y/N, you look exhausted", he remarked softly, his blue eyes filled with worry. "Have you been sleeping at all?".

You shook your head, the weariness weighing heavily on your shoulders. "Not much", you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "It's been hard to find any peace, especially with him back".

Cas nodded in understanding, his expression sympathetic. "I can imagine", he replied gently. "But you can't keep going on like this. It's not healthy".

Tears welled in your eyes as you confessed your fear. "I'm afraid to sleep", you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "Every time I close my eyes, I hear Dean's screams and footsteps outside my door. I can't bear the thought of facing him again".

"I can stay with you while you sleep, if that would help".

Your heart swelled with gratitude at his offer, a sense of relief washing over you like a wave. "Thank you, Cas", you whispered, tears streaming down your cheeks. "I don't know what I would do without you".

A few hours later, the sound of the bunker door opening signaled the return of Sam and Dean from their hunt. Sam's footsteps echoed through the corridors as he made his way through the bunker, his expression a mix of exhaustion and anticipation.

"Hey, Cas, you here?", Sam called out, his voice carrying down the hallway.

Cas emerged from your room, his gaze meeting Sam's as he stepped into the dimly lit corridor. "Sam", he greeted quietly, his tone somber.

Sam's brow furrowed with concern as he took in Cas's grave expression. "What's going on?", he asked.

Cas hesitated for a moment before speaking, his words measured and deliberate. "Y/N hasn't been sleeping well", he explained, his gaze drifting back to your sleeping form on the bed.

Sam's glanced into the room, his heart sinking at the sight of you curled up on the bed, your face drawn and pale in the soft light.

"What do you mean?", Sam asked, his voice filled with worry.

Cas sighed. "She's been afraid to sleep", he admitted quietly. "So I offered to stay with her while she rests".

"Thank you, Cas", he said sincerely, gratitude evident in his voice. "I'll take over from here".

And as Cas nodded in acknowledgment, Sam stepped into the room, his gaze lingering on your sleeping form with a mixture of concern and tenderness. With Cas's help, he would ensure that you found the peace and rest you so desperately needed.

As Sam and Cas remained in your room, their voices barely above a whisper as they discussed your condition, Dean found himself drawn to the doorway like a moth to a flame. Despite Sam's explicit instructions to stay away, he couldn't resist the urge to see you, to reassure himself that you were okay.

With each hesitant step, Dean's heart pounded in his chest, his footsteps silent on the floor as he approached the room where you lay sleeping. He knew he shouldn't be here, knew he was risking Sam's wrath by defying his orders, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to see you, to make sure you were safe.

As he reached the doorway, Dean's breath caught in his throat at the sight before him. You lay on the bed, your breathing slow and steady, your face peaceful in sleep. For a moment, Dean was transfixed by the sight of you, his heart aching with longing and regret.

But even as he stood there, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him of the pain he had caused you, of the darkness that still lingered within him. He knew he didn't deserve your forgiveness, didn't deserve to be anywhere near you after what he had done.

As Dean turned to leave the room, Sam’s voice cut through the silence like a knife.

“Dean, what the hell are you doing here?”, Sam’s tone was sharp, his eyes flashing with anger as he confronted his brother in the hallway.

Dean froze in his tracks, his heart sinking at the sound of Sam’s voice.

“I just… I needed to see her, Sammy”, Dean replied, his voice heavy with guilt and regret. “I needed to know she was okay”.

"I get that, Dean", Sam said, his voice softer but still tinged with frustration. "But she needs space, especially from you".

Dean nodded, a mix of shame and understanding evident in his eyes. "I know, Sam. I fucking screwed up", he admitted, his voice tight with emotion. "I just… I can't stand the thought of her being in pain and not being able to do anything about it".

Sam sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping as he tried to find the right words. "I know you care about her, Dean", he said gently. "But right now, what she needs most is for you to respect her boundaries. Give her the space she needs to heal".

Dean swallowed hard, the weight of Sam's words sinking in. "I will, Sam. I promise", he vowed, his voice filled with sincerity.

With a nod, Sam gestured for Dean to follow him away from the room. As they walked down the hallway together, Dean couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that weighed heavily on his heart.

One week later, Sam and Dean sat in the library, the weight of their conversation hanging heavy in the air. They had been discussing Dean's time as a demon, the darkness that had consumed him, and the pain he had inflicted on those he cared about.

After a long silence, broken only by the soft crackling of the fireplace, Dean spoke up, his voice choked with tears. "I can't do this", he admitted, his words barely above a whisper. "I can't live with what I've done to her".

Sam's heart sank at the despair in his brother's voice, the anguish written plainly on his face. He reached out a hand, placing it gently on Dean's shoulder, offering what little comfort he could.

"I know it's hard, Dean", Sam said softly, his own voice thick with emotion. "But you can't give up. You have to find a way to live with what you've done, to make things right".

Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I don't know if I can, Sam", he confessed, his voice raw with pain. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I did to her".

Sam's heart broke for his brother, for the torment he was enduring. He wanted nothing more than to take away Dean's suffering, to ease the burden of guilt that weighed so heavily upon him.

Dean’s voice cracked as he continued, the weight of his confession pressing down on him like a heavy burden. “I hate myself, Sam”, he whispered. “I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is… is what I did to her”.

"I know, Dean”, Sam said softly. “I know it’s hard, but you can’t let it consume you. You’re stronger than this”.

But Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks unchecked. “I don’t feel strong, Sam”, he admitted. “I feel broken. Like I’m irredeemable”.

"I know she'll never forgive me, Sam", he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I don't blame her. What I did… it's unforgivable".

Sam's heart clenched at Dean's admission, the weight of his brother's pain almost too much to bear. "Dean, you can't give up hope", he said gently, his voice filled with compassion. "People can surprise you. You just have to give her time".

But Dean shook his head, his eyes filled with resignation. "I've lost her, Sam", he said, his voice hollow with despair. "I've lost the love of my life, and the respect I had for myself along with it".

Standing in the hallway, you listened silently to the conversation unfolding in the library. The weight of Dean's confession and Sam's comforting words hung heavy in the air, their voices echoing through corridor.

Tears welled in your eyes as you heard Dean's admission of self-hatred and despair. The pain in his voice cut through you like a knife, stirring a mixture of emotions within you. Part of you longed to reach out to him, to offer him solace and forgiveness. But another part of you recoiled at the memories of the trauma he had inflicted upon you, the scars that still lingered both physically and emotionally.

Taking a deep breath, you silently retreated from the hallway, the weight of the conversation heavy on your heart. You knew that healing would take time, for both you and Dean.

Another week passed, the weight of the unresolved tension between you and Dean hanging heavy in the air. Despite Sam and Cas's efforts to provide support and comfort, sleep continued to elude both of you. And as Cas had to leave to attend to other matters, leaving you without his comforting presence, the nights grew even longer and more restless.

One evening, as you stood in kitchen, the soft glow of the overhead lights casting shadows across the room, you reached for a beer from the fridge. Your mind was consumed with thoughts of Dean and the tumultuous emotions that swirled within you.

But before you could retreat to the solitude of your room, the sound of footsteps drew your attention, and you froze as Dean entered the kitchen. The air between you crackled with tension, the weight of the unspoken words and unresolved emotions hanging heavy in the silence.

As you found yourself alone with Dean in the very room where he had caused you so much pain, a wave of fear washed over you, paralyzing you in place. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart hammering against your ribs as though it were trying to escape the confines of your chest. Tears welled in your eyes, blurring your vision as you pressed yourself against the cold surface of the kitchen counter, seeking any semblance of safety and distance from the man who had once been your everything.

For Dean, seeing the raw fear reflected in your eyes was like a dagger to his heart. The weight of his past actions bore down upon him, crushing him with the knowledge of the pain he had caused you. His own eyes filled with tears as he watched you retreat, his heart breaking at the sight of your distress. Seeing you pressed against the kitchen counter, seeking refuge from him, shattered him in a way he hadn't expected.

"I'm so sorry", Dean whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he took a hesitant step forward, his hands trembling at his sides. "I never wanted to hurt you. I swear, I never meant for any of this to happen".

His words hung heavy in the air, filled with the weight of his sincerity. But he knew that mere words could never erase the pain he had caused you. He longed to reach out to you, to offer you solace and comfort.

As Dean took another step forward, his expression wrought with anguish and regret, you held up a trembling hand, your voice trembling with a mixture of fear and anger.

"Don't… don't come any closer", you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper, yet laced with a palpable sense of urgency. Your cheeks were wet with tears, your entire body trembling with the weight of your emotions. Every fiber of your being recoiled at the thought of him drawing near, the memories of his past actions haunting you like ghosts in the night.

"I can't… I can't do this", you continued, your voice wavering as you struggled to maintain your composure. "Not now, not ever. You… you've broken something inside of me, Dean. Something that can never be fixed".

Your words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the irreparable damage that had been done. The distance between you felt insurmountable, a gaping chasm that stretched on for eternity.

Dean froze in place, his heart breaking at the sound of your trembling voice and the anguish etched across your tear-stained face. He longed to reach out to you, to wrap you in his arms and beg for your forgiveness. But he knew that he had no right to ask for such mercy, not after what he had done to you.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, (Y/N). Not after everything I've done".

His words were heavy with resignation, his gaze cast downward as he grappled with the enormity of his mistakes. The pain in his eyes mirrored your own, a reflection of the shattered pieces of both your hearts.

"I just… I just want you to know that I'm sorry", Dean continued. "I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make things right, even if I never earn your forgiveness".

As Sam stumbled into the kitchen, his eyes half-lidded with sleep, he froze in his tracks at the sight before him. The scene that unfolded before his eyes sent a jolt of adrenaline coursing through his veins, instantly banishing the remnants of sleep from his mind.

The sight of you, standing there with tears streaming down your face, your eyes wide with fear, pierced through him like a knife.

"Hey, hey, what's going on?", Sam's voice was soft but urgent as he rushed forward, his eyes flickering between you and Dean, who stood nearby with a look of devastation etched across his features.

The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. His instincts told him that something was seriously wrong.

With a sense of urgency, Sam stepped forward, his gaze never leaving yours as he reached out a comforting hand. "Are you okay", he asked, his voice filled with concern. "What happened?".

With a shaky voice and a forced calmness, you respond to Sam, "Nothing, Sam. Nothing happened". But the tremor in your voice and the haunted look in your eyes betray the truth of your words.

Before Sam could press further, you turn abruptly and practically flee from the kitchen, your heart pounding in your chest as you race towards the safety of your room.

As the door slams shut behind you, the sound reverberates through the quiet bunker. Inside the confines of your room, you collapse onto the bed, tears streaming down your face as you try to quell the storm of emotions raging within you.

Meanwhile, Dean stands in the kitchen, his fists clenched at his sides as he stares at the spot where you had stood only moments before. The silence hangs heavy in the air, broken only by the sound of his ragged breaths and the steady thud of his heart.

With a growl of frustration, Dean lashes out, his fist colliding with the wall with enough force to leave a sizable dent. Pain shoots through his hand, but it pales in comparison to the anguish that gnaws at his soul.

Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes as he sinks to the floor, the weight of his remorse pressing down upon him. He had thought that seeing you again would bring him some measure of closure, some semblance of redemption. But all he had accomplished was to reopen the wounds he had inflicted upon you, tearing them open with brutal force.

In that moment, Dean feels utterly lost, adrift in a sea of regret and self-loathing. He had shattered the one thing he had cherished most in this world, and now he was left to face the consequences of his actions alone.

As Dean sat on the floor, his back against the wall, Sam approached him cautiously.

"Dean, man, are you okay?", Sam asked softly, his voice tinged with worry.

Dean looked up at his brother, his eyes bloodshot and filled with tears. "No, Sam, I'm not okay", he admitted, his voice choked with emotion. "I don't think I'll ever be okay again".

Sam sinked down beside him, mirroring his brother's posture as they both sat in silence for a moment. "Dean, what happened between you two… it wasn't your fault", he said gently.

But Dean shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "No, Sam, you don't understand", he insisted. "I hurt her, Sam. I hurt her in ways that I can't even begin to comprehend. And now… now I don't know how to fix it".

"Dean, you need to forgive yourself first".

Dean's voice trembled as he spoke, the weight of his words heavy with shame and self-loathing. "How am I supposed to forgive myself, Sam?", he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How can I ever look her in the eyes again, knowing what I did to her? How can I live with myself, knowing that I… that I raped my own girlfriend because I was a fucking demon?".

Dean felt like he's drowning in a sea of guilt and remorse.

"Sam, you don't understand", he said, "This… this is worse than anything I ever experienced in Hell. Worse than purgatory. Since I've been back, since I'm no demon anymore, the pain of what I did to her… it's unbearable. It's like a constant weight crushing down on me, suffocating me. I can't escape it, Sam. I can't escape the guilt, the shame, the remorse. It's consuming me from the inside out".

"I don't know how to live with myself, Sam", he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Every day, every moment, I'm haunted by what I did to her. And the worst part is… I know I don't deserve to be forgiven. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve anything".

Sam's heart broke for his brother, knowing the depth of his pain. He reached out, wrapping Dean in a tight embrace, offering what little comfort he can. "Dean, listen to me", he mumbled softly, his voice filled with conviction. "I promise you, we'll find a way to make things right. But you have to hold on. You have to keep fighting".

For a moment, Dean allowed himself to lean into Sam's embrace, seeking solace in the comfort of his presence.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰 

-

Part 3

#jensen ackles #dean x you #dean x reader #deanwinchtser #sam and dean #dean winchester #castiel #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #sam x reader #dean winchester x y/n #demon dean x reader #demon dean #hurtful #angst

[pearlycastiel]

𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭.

description || addiction is something you thought you would never go through. with life being a mess, your only place to escape is drugs. when you try to sneak out of the bunker to hang out with bad influenced friends, someone catches you, forcing you to explain yourself.

warnings || drug addiction, angst, mentions of depression, mentions of loss, insecurity of body image.

pairing || dean winchester x daughter!reader, sam winchester x niece!reader, castiel x platonic!reader, jack kline x platonic!reader

word count || 1,715

a/n || hello my lovely readers! this fic is more of a personal one as i have been around people with addictions. for anyone out there struggling with an addiction, i really hope this fic can provide some sort of comfort as it did for me.

LIFE IS FILLED WITH the hardships of losing loved ones, angst, and depression. When you lost your mother, everything started to unravel in your life whether it was the smallest action of seeing a child having a happy family outside in the park.

You resented those people, the ones who had a normal life and had a shot at having a happy family.

But there was no such thing as a happy family for you.

You were currently sitting on the edge of your bed, sulking in the thought of not having any drugs on you. Your only escape from the real world was drugs. Your dad and uncle didn't know about your addiction and neither did Jack or Cas.

The constant feeling of consuming the white powdered substance and swallowing the smooth pills, urged your body to go out and get more right away.

"Dammit." You finally gave in as you got up from your bed and put on your day clothes. Sneaking up the bunker door, you put on your shoes and were about to leave until you heard the voice of Jack calling you.

"Y/n? What are you doing up this late, you should be sleeping by now." Jack walked towards you. The concern in his eyes was evident and you felt horrible for having to lie to him.

"Yeah, go back to bed, Jack. I was just getting some fresh air," you lied.

"Oh, okay! I'll go with you-"

"No, please, I-I really need the alone time now. Also, please don't tell anyone I went out, it can be our little secret." Jack could hear the stutter and nervousness in your voice and he became suspicious, but he decided not to pry.

"Okay, well, come back home soon."

"I will."

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

The next day, you were in your bed, completely knocked out from the number of drugs you have consumed. You wanted to get up out of bed, you really did, however, your body was shutting down and telling you to stay in your room.

You felt like you were drifting away from your family as they were all so consumed on finding cases and you needed help. You needed them.

A soft knock ringed your ears as you heard your father's voice on the other side.

"Sweetheart, breakfast is ready, come down and eat. It's your favorite, bacon sausage supreme." The sound of your favorite food made you feel a pang in your heart to get up, but physically, your strength was not there to proceed with going downstairs.

"Okay," you said, muffling your voice in your pillow. Dean's footsteps escalated and you slowly sat up from your bed, the agony of a migraine soaring through your head.

You went downstairs in your black jeans and a white blouse, not really comprehending how you were able to muster that much energy to get dressed.

As you walked downstairs, everyone greeted you good morning and you smiled slightly in return. You sat in the chair next to Jack and ate bits of the food in front of you. Cas sat in front of you, reading a lore book as Dean and Sam sat at the other table, a stack of books scattered everywhere on the table.

The sudden thought of eating all of this food made you want to throw up. It was your favorite food and now you can't stand the sight of it without criticizing your body image.

Sighing in frustration, you pushed your plate away from you slightly and rested your head on your chin. The feeling of someone staring at you made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

You looked up to see Cas staring at you with his icy blue eyes. You knew he could see more than the plain surfaces of your body. He could see the pain, tiredness, and sadness in your body.

"Uncle Cas why are you staring at me like that," you asked, trying to play it off cool.

He didn't say anything. He just looked at you with sympathy, making your heart pound by the second at the thought of him figuring out what was happening.

You held your head down and walked back to your room, ignoring everyone calling your name. You closed your door and took a couple of pills that your 'friends' gave you. More like dealers.

"Hey, Y/n, can I come in?" The sound of your uncle's voice made your eyes widen. You quickly put away your pill bottles and hid them in your clothes drawer.

"Come on in, Uncle Sam." He came in with the food that you didn't eat earlier and your eyes saddened at the sight of it.

"Why didn't you eat, honey? I know these are your favorite and you would never turn them down. Is there something wrong?" Everyone was getting closer to becoming suspicious, but you lied to him again.

"Y/n/n, your father and I lie for a living and I can definitely tell that you're hiding something. So what's eating at you?"

You wanted to tell him everything. You wanted to tell him how much you missed your mother, how you felt insecure about your body, and about your drug addiction, but you were still in denial so you lied to him.

"I just wasn't hungry, Uncle Sammy," you half lied. "Can I please be alone now, I need to do homework?" He nodded and reluctantly left your room. Before he did leave, Sam left your breakfast on the table in your room then left.

Once the day dimmed and it was dark outside, you were about to sneak out again to talk to your dealers. You did the same thing as the night before made sure everyone was asleep before you left.

Being so close to the bunker door, you turned around to make sure that nobody will see you sneak out. But that hope was abolished as you turned around and ran into Cas' chest.

You saw the disappointment and sadness on his face.

"Y/n, why are you sneaking out?"

"Uncle Cas, I was just getting air, it's nothing to worry about."

"I'm worried about you, Y/n. I sense that there is something wrong and you won't tell Dean or Sam about it." That was the thing about Cas, he would know when you were lying or you weren't yourself, due to his angelic powers. You loved him, you really did, but that's why you tried to ignore him as much as you could.

"I'm fine, Cas. I'm just taking a walk." You tried to walk past Cas, but before you could, blackness filled your body as you soon fell asleep.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I'm not letting you leave this bunker until you explain yourself." Cas carried your bridal style and you had a hell of a surprise when you wake up.

ஓ๑♥๑ஓ

Your eyes slowly fluttered open as you noticed you were on your bed and it was three in the morning. Remembering the events before you were knocked out, your nervousness started to emerge from your chest, knowing that Cas knew something was up with you.

You sat up quickly to see that your entire family was in your room, making you have a mini heart attack.

"Damn, you guys scared me." You laughed nervously, but everyone had straight looks on their faces, mostly showing concern.

"Baby, why didn't you tell us you were using?" You gave your father a curious look, trying to play it off, but Dean turned around and held a handful of pill bottles that contained hard-core prescription drugs. That's when you noticed the tear stains on his cheeks, making your heart immediately drop.

"Dad, why are you-"

"Cut the crap, Y/n, Cas told me there was something off about you and I didn't believe him until you tried to sneak out of the bunker tonight. And last night as well." You held your head down in shame. Jack let out a sniffle, making you turn your head towards him to see your brother-figure crying, his eyes red and puffy.

That's when your heart shattered. The sight of seeing Jack cry made you want to rip your own heart out of your chest.

"I should've known. I should've known. I'm so stupid," Jack said to himself. You immediately held his hands and looked deeply into his eyes, him looking back in yours.

"Jack, look at me. None of this is your fault. None of you guys are at fault. This is all on me."

"Why did you do it?" You turned to Sam who also had tears in his eyes. You looked around the room to see everyone have tears in their eyes.

"Everything! Mom's dead, I hate my body, my entire life is a fucking mess, it feels like nobody cares about me and I can't take it anymore. Dammit, I can't take it anymore!"

You broke down. Everything you were holding in is finally bursting out of your body. Dean immediately went by your side and embraced you. He was now sobbing at the sight of you and he tried his best to comfort you.

"I'm so sorry if it felt like we weren't there for you. I promise you from now on, we will be here for you, no matter what. And if there's something wrong, please, please don't hesitate to talk to any of us. Drugs aren't and will never be the answer and they never will be. Y/n, we all love you so much and we need you here with us. You are the heart of this family and you matter.”

You were sobbing in Dean's shoulder, but you didn't care. The comfort of your father was all you needed now. Soon, everyone joined in on the hug and you felt your broken heart mend itself back up again. The feeling of everyone caressing your body and the feeling of being protected, made you find your way back to the real reason why you are still alive.

Your family.

"I love you all so much."

"We love you more, sweetheart. Now, how about we make you the best bacon sausage supreme in the world?" You nodded happily as you went downstairs with your family, finally feeling the happiness you were longing for.

SAMHSA National Helpline

1-800-662-4357

#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x daughter!reader #dean x reader #supernatural #dean winchester fluff #dean wincehster angst #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #castiel x platonic!reader #castiel x reader #jack kline x platonic!reader #jack kline x reader #jack kline #castiel #jensen ackles #misha collins #alex calvert #jared padalecki #supernatural imagine #dean imagine

[bi-bard]

You Should’ve Known Better - Castiel Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: You Should Know Better

Pairing: Castiel X Reader

Requested: By @zizzlekwum

Word Count: 922 words

Warning(s): kidnapping, torture

Summary: (Season 13) It was meant to save Dean. However, Castiel doesn't take (Y/n)'s attempted sacrifice very well.

Author's Note: How do I explain that The Blacklist requests were a break from Supernatural, not the other way around, haha! (I love both of these shows but I have been writing about them both so much)

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

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I stopped in the middle of Dean and me running for our lives.

"What are you doing," he asked.

"Go," I shouted. "I'll distract the angels, give you time to get home."

"(Y/n)-"

"Dean, it wasn't a suggestion," I snapped. He stared at me for a few moments. "Please... go!"

Dean finally turned around and ran from me. I took off in the other direction. I heard the pounding of feet behind me, meaning that my plan had worked.

I didn't even get the chance to be proud of myself before I grabbed and promptly knocked out. All I could do was hope that Dean had gotten out.

--time skip--

I came to while tied to a chair. I shook my head, trying to stop the headache that was already forming. Someone called out the door.

It slammed open and a man walked in.

"Cas," I asked, immediately recognizing him.

"You know me then," I cringed when I heard a heavy German accent roll off of his tongue. "Maybe that will make you more inclined to answer my questions."

I don't know how long I spent tied to that chair. The alternate Cas would punch me, ask me the same question, and then repeat the process when I didn't answer.

I just sat there and bit my tongue, knowing better than to give one of Michael's soldiers any information.

I was curled in my seat, my entire body aching from the constant violence, when the door was slammed open. I turned my head, watching alternate Cas's soldiers fall one by one.

By the time my eyes adjusted, my Cas was standing there with alternate Cas slammed against the wall.

"Two of us," the alternate Cas said. "Interesting."

"Not for long," my Cas sneered in response before stabbing the other Cas with his angel blade.

I watched alternate Cas's body fall to the ground.

My Cas walked over, kneeling by the chair and helping me out of the restraints.

"Cas," I asked softly.

"I'm here," he promised.

"Why did you do that," I asked. "I did this to save Dean. Why would you come back?"

"Did you think I was going to let you throw yourself into the pit," he furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"To save you and the boys... I thought you'd respect my wishes," I mumbled.

Cas grinned at me, "You should know better."

I furrowed my eyebrows at him for a moment as he looked back down at what he was doing.

He undid the final restraint before helping me up. I almost collapsed in pain. I was going to mumble an apology but he stopped me. He placed two fingers on my forehead. I smiled as I felt myself heal.

"Thanks," I muttered. He just smiled.

We ran back to the door to the bunker, happily leaving the alternate world for now.

The door shut behind us. We had made it just in time. Dean and Sam stared at us.

"I shouldn't have left-"

"Shut up," I interrupted Dean, hugging him tightly. "I asked you to leave."

Sam stood behind his brother, waiting for me to step back and hug him. Our hug was shorter but it still made me smile.

"Will you guys give us a minute," I asked them. I looked over at Cas for a moment.

They both nodded with knowing smiles on their face. I furrowed my eyebrows at them for a moment as they walked out of the library.

I moved to sit on top of the table in the library. Cas stood opposite me.

"Thank you," I said. "I don't remember if I said that earlier."

Cas grinned. It was really nice to see him smile. It almost always made me smile back at him.

"Can I ask you something," I asked. He nodded. "When you were untying me, you said I should've known better than for you to respect my sacrifice. Why? You've let Dean and Sam do it. You've sacrificed yourself... you literally just got back from the Empty."

"Because I care about you," Cas replied.

"And you care about Sam and Dean," I argued, pushing for a real answer. "As far as you should've been concerned, I was already dead. Why risk it?"

"(Y/n)...," he trailed off.

"Please," I begged. "Just answer me."

Cas walked over and touched the table on either side of me. I just watched him. Each step and each movement. My breath felt like it was going to stop when his hands touched the table.

"Cas," I said softly. He took a deep breath, finally meeting my eyes. I offered a small, slightly awkward grin.

"You're different," he explained quietly. I was studying his face as he spoke. "I... I love you."

I let out a shocked chuckle, smiling at him.

He was about to move back but I grabbed the edges of his trenchcoat and pulled him into a kiss. He adjusted quickly, his hands moving to my waist as I moved my arms to wrap around his waist.

The kiss had a hard hit due to how I pulled Cas in but after that it was soft. Careful. It made my heart flutter and my stomach do flips. I pulled back just barely, pecking his lips once more before resting my forehead on his.

"Wow," I whispered after a moment. Cas chuckled. I punched his shoulder lightly as I chuckled with him. "Shut up."

"No, no, I agree with you," he promised. "Definitely a 'wow'."

It was better than "wow", it was perfect.

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[waywardsummoner46]

Unnecessary Syllables

Huntercorp!Sam x sister!reader x Huntercorp!Dean

Summary: After your brothers, Castiel and Jack had left to find the Occultum, you were forced to stay back with the posh and spoilt versions of your brothers... it would all be so much easier if they didn’t push every single one of your buttons, wouldn’t it?

____________________________________________________________

One more snarky remark from these two and you were going to blow something up, probably them. Sam and Dean, this arrogant Sam and Dean, had been left in your care until your actual brothers, Cas and Jack returned from their quest to find the Occultum… a mouthful of unnessaccary syllables. 

  Speaking of unnecessary syllables, the constant waffling of these trust fund idiots was winding you up to a boiling point. You’ve started to refer to them as Samuel and Deanius.

  “They said lose the man bun, Samuel,” Deanius chided half-heartedly, arriving at the Bunker’s table and placing his beer down on it, opposite you. Oh yeah, because Samuel has a man bun, oo-la-fucking-la. 

   Samuel had a stubborn look on his face and reached up with both hands to give his hair a little pat, “Look, wearing hill-billy clothes is bad enough I have to draw the line somewhere, and my hair… is sacred.”

 You all had computers in front of you, Sam and Dean had elected you to pretend to be occupied with the normal stuff you and your brothers get up to when you’re not hunting, such as researching or in your case, watching YouTube videos or doing homework. Today, it was a blend of both although neither had your attention.

  You narrowed your eyes at your computer, before turning to face Samuel and raising an incredulous eyebrow. “Are you kidding me right now?”

  His attention turned to you, as did Deanius’s. “Like are you actually for real? Because this is just pathetic, incredibly amusing but still extremely pathetic,” you continued bluntly.

  Looking slightly affronted, Samuel went to reply but Deanius cut in with a demanding tone, “Don’t insult my brother like that!” You merely stared at him from across the table, shaking your head in slight disbelief. 

  Samuel straightened his “hill-billy” jacket and huffed like a petulant child. “Thank you Dean, but I’m perfectly capable of handling this myself. Is there a problem (Y/N)? Are we bothering you?” Then, he started to babble on about how other-you wouldn’t dare talk with such a tone, how she wouldn’t even glance at such scruffy clothing without gagging, how she was oh so perfect with her grades at school and oh. The best one was how she was a Daddy’s girl.

 That is what triggered you and you interrupted quite rudely, “First of all, my family’s lives could be at stake right now okay? They are literally trying to save the multiverse right now and all you two are doing is complaining about the clothes, or how the beer isn’t up to your standards. Well, sorry bud, you’re living in my world now okay? Where life isn’t as happy-go lucky as it may have been for you! I never had the chance to go to school, I never had the chance to buy nice looking clothes for myself, I never ever, not once, had any semblance of a stable relationship with my father because John Winchester was a neglectful and emotionally abusive piece of absolute shit!”

  At the end of that, you’d become a bit hysteric with the odd hitch in your breath and some tears pooling in your eyes. You aggressively wiped them away and cleared your throat. Standing there looking rapidly between the two, you decided to fill the awkward silence.

  With a cleared throat, you continued; “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that. You guys are just not helping with my stress levels right now so please try to tone it down on the arrogance alright?” With a quick sarcastic smile, you sat back down and pretended to return to whatever you were occupied with. 

   Missing the concerned and slightly bashful look being shared, you began idly searching random things up as an attempt to distract you from the tense atmosphere.

  “Listen, we admit that we haven’t exactly been the most pleasant of people, we just don’t know how to act in front of you because back home our relationship with our sister was rocky at best,” Deanius said meekly. You cast a shy glance towards him before quickly retreating to your screen. 

  “Well, considering you two I’m assuming the other me was very self-centered and pig-headed?” A hesitant yet confident nod from Samuel was your reply, and he received a rough nudge from Deanius to which he just shrugged at. 

  However, you chuckled lightly and the tension eased a bit. “It’s cool guys, everything’s hard for all of us so don’t stress,” you waved them off.

  Samuel seemed to agree but Deanius looked as though he was eager to test out a new idea he’d had.

  “Tell you what, how about we do introductions again and try to bond like a real family? Really get to know each other?” He stood and outstretched a hand.

  You took it and said,”You sound exactly like Dean. I like it. In which case, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, (Y/N) Winchester at your service,” you said poshly. He brought your hand up to his lips and placed a little kiss on it.

  “Lovely to meet you (Y/N), allow me to introduce myself, my name is Dean Winchester and this is my brother Samuel WInchester,” then Sam took your hand and kissed it lightly too. Feeling happy and as at ease as you’d been in a long time, you allowed yourself to enjoy this slightly good moment and decided to hold on to it.

  Because killing God definitely isn’t easy.

#supernatural x reader #huntercorp!sam x reader #huntercorp!dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Take Me Higher

Author: bappy211

Artist: Tsuminoaru

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean/Cas, Dean/Bela (brief & mentions of past), mentions of past Dean/Lisa, mentions of past Cas/others, Sam/Eileen

Length: 41211

Warnings: Mentions/Flashback of suicidal ideation & self-harm Homophobic language (one scene) Brief Depictions of Violence

Tags: D/S Dynamic, Mechanic Dean, Dean POV, Pining, Slowish Burn, Mention of Past Alcohol Abuse, Top Cas/Bottom Dean, John Winchester's A+ parenting, Domestic Dean/Cas,

Posting Date: October 5, 2021

Summary: A decade ago, pride, selfishness and an inability to accept who he was had resulted in Dean watching as his best friend walked away without turning back. Not much has changed ten years later. He lives in the same town, talks to the same people and grapples with the same problems. At 28 Dean still says he doesn't know what he wants out of life, when the truth is he knows, has known, exactly what he wants, or at least who he wants.  He wants the boy who left, the one he had definitively shoved out of his life when they were 18. A decade ago Cas left, frustrated and hurt at his friends unwillingness to live his own life, to break out of the box he had been forced into. In that time Cas had never really stopped trying to run away from the city, or rather the boy who had broken his heart.  Now, at their 10-year high school reunion; Dean's only concern is avoiding any and all attention, especially if it's coming from a particular long-lost, blue-eyed boy. Cas's sole focus is on finding the man who unknowingly still owns a piece of him.

Excerpt: He strode across the room and ordered two more drinks, throwing a tip in the jar. While he waited he looked around, trying to figure out if there was anyone else he should try avoiding for the short time he planned on being there. Then he spotted an all too familiar mop of dark, unruly hair walking through the door, Dean spun away quickly, trying to catch his breath.  Fuck. The bartender handed him his drinks and he practically ran back to the safety of his dark, secluded table. Bela, of course, noticed the near-frenzied state Dean was suddenly in when he handed her drink over and sat down. She started looking out over the room, trying to piece together who may have sent her tablemate into a panic; then her eyes landed on him and a wicked grin spread over her face.  “Ah, your blue-eyed angel is here,” she cooed.  “Shut up,” Dean muttered, sinking down in his seat, averting his gaze. Bela stared at him incredulously and chuckled.  “What the fuck happened between you two anyway? Suddenly you just hated each other, after being connected at the...well, practically everything for a majority of our time at this school,” she asked innocently. And it was a valid question, no one really knew what happened between the two of them. As far as everyone knew, one day they just stopped talking.  “Nothing, don’t worry about it. I just don’t want to see him,” Dean mumbled, downing about half his drink in one go. Bela sighed and rolled her eyes.  “You boys were always so dramatic.” “Excuse me?” Dean sat up straighter suddenly, staring her down.  “Oh please, you with your constant ‘he’s just a friend’ and that was before he came out senior year, which threw you into an obvious spiral. You were always so concerned about what other people might think just because you two were ‘best friends’.” Bela gave him a knowing and disbelieving look before she continued. “Yet, practically everyone knew damn well that you two were more than that. You just never wanted to admit it to yourself let alone anyone else,” Bela said with a shrug before taking a sip of her drink.  Well shit, she quite literally just succinctly and nonchalantly laid out what had always been one of his biggest fears and subsequent regrets of his high school career, hell...still to this day if he was honest, like it was nothing. Who the hell was she to assume she knew so much about him?

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