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mephitsguidetothemultiverse · 5 days

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Catalogue No.: Epsilon-122274893(a), Media Type: Video Transcription, Title: "Welcome to the Multiverse!"

The recording begins with a marker beep and then a black title card with the above information before transitioning to a dimly lit portion of a room.

There is a single lamp, an old green desk lamp that one only finds in films and the offices of rich people sitting on a small round wooden table. It lights very little of the room, just enough to reveal a single round decorative rug beneath a red leather wing-backed armchair and part of a faded forest green wall. The floor is not visible, nor are any people.

The sound of footsteps begins to advance with the slow, thudding clunks of boots walking on metal grating. It is unclear from which direction for several seconds as the sound grows louder without revealing a source.

Until...

A figure, tall and completely dark save for a blank white comedy mask, emerges face first from the darkness before it stands and approaches the camera. The tallness becomes more clearly unnatural, or at least not human certainly. Slender tendrils made of an unknown dark substance gently whip and flow at random around the back of its body. It at first appears to be wearing a jester's hat with three points until they simultaneously pull themselves back to appear more like the equivalent of its hair. It is impossible to tell in this lighting to see if it has real feet and hands at the end of its arms and not just the appearance of hands. It reaches the center of the shot on the rug in front of the armchair.

"Welcome, future travelers, allow me to introduce myself," it says with an unnaturally polite candor and a distorted unrecognizable accent. It gives a sweeping bow before looking down the barrel of the camera to speak. Rather, one assumes it is looking that way, its mask does not have eyes visible in the eyeholes.

"My name is Mephit, and I am a traveler of the multiverse, and this-" it makes a grand sweeping gesture to the darkness slowly illuminating with rows of fluorescent lights turning on with a clunk to reveal... endlessly many books behind it "- is my library, also known as everything one could ever need to know about traveling the multiverse." For a second a flash like teeth appears at the mouth of the mask, apparently indicating a smile.

"Allow me to explain some as I am sure you think this a hoax or a production and I must disabuse you all of that notion," it says to the camera. "This library is currently inaccessible to all but a very countable few across the multiverse to whom I have entrusted-" another flash like teeth, fleeting as before but this time it doesn't stop talking "-the responsibility of helping me share the information of this library. That being said, all you will have to do to verify this information in your universe is to find-"

The video choppily switches to Mephit having a whiteboard with a diagram of Earth drawn on. Ten locations, each remote and mostly in different continents from each other save for three overlapping in North America and two in Asia, are carefully labeled on the far too neat diagram for a whiteboard. Mephit is pointing to one in Alaska as the chop clumsily jumps to its new audio."-any of these points, however this one in what you Earthlings-175 call the Aleutian Islands with the shown coordinates has the strongest focal window. The focal window will be the 'glimmery portal-looking thing,' as my associates suggested I put it, through which you will be able to see this library. The Aleutian Islands on is hidden in an abandoned crab hut which gives the most privacy out of these as well, but don't all go at once or else you'll-"

The video chops just as carelessly and jarringly back to Mephit as it was before the whiteboard appeared, as though this was inserted to be one of many such videos each with a different explanation cut in at this point. Another quick flash, each one frustratingly revealing nothing about what lies behind the mask. "-and I do hope that has cleared up how to verify this is real," it says in the same strange voice that sounds more and more as multiple voices at once before fading back into one vocal sound.

"With that out of the way, we can get to your truly burning questions. For example," it says gesturing in the same ethereally flowing manner, still giving no clues as to what it has for hands, "what am I exactly? Or who am I really? Perhaps even what is it I want?" Flash "Well, I am indeed a researcher and traveler as I have said, but I am an ageless one. How did I become ageless? Was I born that way? Well that's not important yet, simply that I have been alive and ageless for longer than the combined ages of thousands of universes that have formed, unformed and even reformed across various points of space time."

Here it begins to pace slightly across the rug when it pauses as it speaks. Its arms are folded behind its back as it faces the armchair briefly when it finishes speaking and its "hands" can finally be somewhat seen. Its arms, and presumably therefore its legs, are just flexible trunks sprouting from where shoulders would be that end in jagged finger-like protrusions that don't necessarily seem to be holding the same shape. It turns to stare into the camera again before it is able to be confirmed.

"That's a lot of time, isn't it future travelers? And just imagine: the vast majority of it is spent almost completely alone save for an occasional adventure with a member of the more mortal species who figures out how to find me. It's..." It trails off stopped in front of the chair again looking off into the distance, "It's lonely." Its head snaps back to the camera. "And can easily grow boring, hence why I research and collect for my library. However, as of late even this has grown somewhat tiresome and I find myself in need of a new hobby."

It sits down in the armchair and grabs what appears to be a glass of wine from a portion of the table not well lit by the lamp. Its free "hand" rests on the armrest and splays its currently talon-like fingers over the edge. It swirls the beverage in the glass before speaking.

"That's where you come in. You see I figured that if I play this right, I can make my new hobby just as long lasting as my old hobby and even help with my loneliness. How? Well of course by teaching you lot how to travel and what sights to see and avoid. Not only will I get to find and talk to those competent enough to reach my library, I can even generate entire new fields of research for myself to get excited about! And you-" it pauses to sip the drink through the mask and swirl it once more "-well you get the adventure of your short little lives. Creatures beyond your imagination, places beyond your comprehension, all this and more awaits you. Of course, from here I can only ask you to join, it is up to you if you do or not. If you do not wish to join, simply close this video and continue normally with your life and you will forget in time what you have seen here."

The last sentence is delivered in a tone that is equally chilling in its politeness and certainty. The silence afterwards is amplified a thousand times over in the few seconds before it speaks again. The seconds begin to stretch and distort to the viewer's vision but the timestamp never changes. The silence begins to ring, then howl, then roar until it is a storm of silence as the viewer looks into where this being's eyes would be and feels the weight of thousands of universes worth of certainty staring back from the nothing. The moment ends suddenly as Mephit speaks again.

"But! If instead you wish to join, you will follow some careful instructions. First, you will find an empty room and declare your intention to this video, or the audio or transcript if you are unable to use video. Then, when you receive a location on your nearest device that communicates location information, you will go to it. You will then see something. You'll know when you see it, trust me. You will take notes until you can no longer discern new information. You will know the place to send these notes with your communication device shortly after. Then you will return home and wait. If you have passed selection, you will begin receiving training videos and articles from my library in a place I have determined is convenient for you. How have I determined all of these things?"

There is a flash again, but it is far overshadowed by the weight of the laughter that echoes forth from its mask as it tips its head back. It is impossible to mistake this laugh as friendly. It is heavy, dangerous, but not an active danger. The laughter equivalent of seeing a crocodile's eyes peek above water.

"Spoiler warning! Oh my goodness you aren't possibly ready to know that; it would make you soil your garments and run away babbling. Be patient with knowledge, future travelers, as knowledge may be power, but that does not make it your power to wield. Things will be clear as they should be, and until then-" it stands and sets the glass back in the darkness where it again disappears "-I must bid you a fond farewell and happy researching."

One last flash before it turns on what would be its heels and walks back into the library. As it continues forward with only the sound of its footsteps to fill the space, the lights begin to clunk off one by one, clunking louder and louder as they approach Mephit. The lights continue at the same speed for over a minute after Mephit is lost to the darkness until only the desk lamp is visible for light. As the footsteps disappear and suddenly stop being audible, the lamp clunks off with a noise far louder and more ominous than any of the others thus far. The video clicks off about ten seconds after

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