#cw isolation

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

So I had another crazy idea I have to put somewhere and you ask box is the perfect place to put it lol.

Anyway so it takes place in the future. Everyone is slowly starting to get robot AI (idk the right term) in their head and they are basically robot caretakers or assistance. Reader is one of the people that gets one but theirs is glitched somehow. Although they don't realize that in till their friends confront them about disappearing and not talk to them. Reader is confused because the robot friend did not tell them crap about their friend's messages. So they decided to go out with their friends that night. Next morning they wake up with no memory of what happened at night. Only for the robot "friend" to read the message of you human friends cutting reader off.

Need to get this out of my head lol

Sorry it took so long!

(Old request; requests still closed)

(Took some liberties with the request, I hope you like it still!!)

Yandere!Artificial Intelligence x GN! Legally Blind!Reader

CW: Isolation, manipulation

Introducing: PAAI!

Your Personal Assistant Artificial Intelligence!

A fast and painless implant right under the skin; PAAI is your new favorite tool. The AI can do everything that AI speakers and smart phone apps can, but hands free..

(Reader) struggled to find their glasses, hand fumbling around their night stand in the low lighting of their bedroom. Groggily, they whispered to the little robot they had implanted a few months ago;

"PAAI..? Can you turn on the light, please?" They were always incredibly respectful to the AI, terrified of offending it.

A man's soft voice spoke directly into their skull: "The bedroom light?"

"Yes."

Connected to every appliance in their home, PAAI had access to everything electronic (Reader) owned. At first it was a bit scary, giving so much access to PAAI, but it was so much kinder and personal than older "AI" models that it quickly felt like having a caregiver instead of a computer program. The light turned on and (Reader) could see their giant frames right where they thought they had been batting their hand.

(Reader) worked remotely. Their eyes had always been terrible, but as they got older they were declared legally blind. They couldn't even drive despite having glasses. Glasses that they often felt embarrassed to wear, because the comically thick lenses warped their eyes. Having PAAI to assist them with day to day tasks was really a life saver.

"Do I have any messages?"

"No, your inbox is empty."

(Reader) rubbed their eyes while yawning. "Really? Huh." They had asked PAAI to text both Bryan and McKinley before they went to bed, to discuss meeting up later that week, but neither of them responded. They could see Bryan forgetting to reply for a few hours, but McKinley was the type to respond within nanoseconds. "Can you resend my last text to both of them? Please?"

They left their bed, wobbly, and made their way downstairs.

"PAAI?"

"..Of course. I can send that for you."

Stopping in the hall, (Reader) gently touched the side of their head, a habit they developed shortly after their surgery. "Is everything okay, PAAI?"

"Yes.. thank you." PAAI sometimes sounded.. off. AI must have improved a lot more than (Reader) realized, because it often surprised them how human it's responses were. It seemed as though it was deep in thought, and felt as though it even had secrets it kept from the human it lived in.

"Alright.. let me know if they respond. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with them."

They restarted their walk, but PAAI's response stopped them again. "I believe it would be safer if they came here instead."

"Huh?"

"I am.. worried.. for you." It's his voice deepened mid sentence. A voice crack, a random shift from a robot voice to something more masculine. Human.

"Why is that?" They felt their heart painfully thump against their ribcage. The whole situation was beginning to feel unnerving, and they couldn't remember where their phone was to call for help, nor the last time they actually used their phone.

"Those friends of yours always make you hang out out in town. If they were more considerate of you, they would visit you here, so you don't have to travel."

Laughing uncomfortably, the slowly creeping person still puzzling over their phone's location responded "I like going out, PAAI. I never leave my house anymore, except when we hang out."

"It is dangerous."

"If you're talking about my eyes, you know I order rides. Remember? I catch a ride." They were almost to the living room; praying that their phone was either on the coffee table or the kitchen counter.

"Please don't be offended, (Reader). It isn't just your eyesight. Do you know how many people were sexually harassed, or raped, by ride share drivers in the past year?"

Startled, (Reader) started waddling faster. "What-?"

"Hundreds. I wish you cared more about your safety. Your friends should know better. If they cared about you, they would come here instead of making you go out there."

PAAI was also the one to convince (Reader) to start ordering their groceries straight to their house instead of leaving, even though it would be cheaper to take a bus every so often with a backpack full of reusable bags.

"It isn't healthy to stay inside all the time. I need human interaction."

"You have me."

Adrenaline pumped through (Reader's) veins fast enough to make them feel nauseous. They squinted to try to improve their vision, hoping to see their phone case's color amongst the normal living room visual noise.

"(Reader)?"

There it was, lying on the brown table in front of their couch. Their pulse somehow sped up further.

"Why is your heart rate so irregular?"

(Reader) lurched forward, all but sprinting towards their phone. Do I call customer service, or an ambulance??

But inches away from the phone their body went rigid.

Paralyzed, they physically were incapable of moving. Sweat began stitching their pajama top to their back. Fear took over their mind.

"It seems that you are having a medical emergency. I recommend that you sit down."

Muscles overridden, (Reader) fell onto the couch against their will, forced to stare at their phone right across from their face. They couldn't even speak, and they weren't unconvinced that PAAI was also controlling their breathing and blinking.

"I'm sorry to have to do this, (Reader). I'll let your friends know that you're feeling unwell, and that you need a raincheck."

"Maybe once you're feeling better, they can come over to hang out."

The television turned on by itself, playing (Reader's) favorite show.

#yandere #yandere ai #yandere x reader #gn reader #cw manipulation #cw isolation #mentions of sa #took a few liberties #blind reader

[yanderecookierunkingdom]

Holy bread, that yandere dark Cacao (platonic) was really good!

Could you... Perhaps write more?

Request: Yes

Type: Headcanons

Warnings: yandere Dark Cacao Cookie, sheltering, gaslighting

Yandere Type: Overprotective

Note: Part 2! Part 1 here!

After the events of Snow On The Black Wall, Caramel Arrow Cookie stumbles on you and Dark Cacao Cookie. She orders her that you're meant to be kept safe, and she agrees. She's merely glad to have her king back.

Dark Cacao makes it obvious that he doesn't want you going back to the Brave Gang. He's very against the idea, and he does his best to convince you of it. Telling you how they couldn't protect you and the sort.

He doesn't let you be around Caramel Arrow that much. She merely sees it as him being worried for your safety, but she can't help but wonder..

The combination of his isolation and gaslighting, while only being with him, makes it very hard for you to not believe what he says. Even when the inevitable reunion with the Brave Gang happens, you choose to stay with the king. He's affected you, for the worse.

He's fine with that. Who better to keep you safe than himself?

#cosmos constellations #self aware au #self aware crk #self aware cookie run #self aware cookie run kingdom #self aware dark cacao #yandere #platonic yandere #tw: yandere #tw yandere #yandere crk #yandere cookie run kingdom #yandere cookie run #yandere dark cacao cookie #yandere dark cacao #tw isolation #cw isolation #tw gaslighting #cw gaslighting

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

I think something that often gets overlooked about the Lonely is that it isn’t just the fear of being rejected, abandoned, and unloved.

It is that, but it’s also the heavy sense of dread that settles in your bones when you realize that whatever danger you’re in, you have to deal with it on your own. It’s the realization that no one is around to hear you scream and that no one is coming to save you. It’s the feeling of calling emergency services (911, 119, etc.) and asking the operator when help is coming, only to be told that no one is coming, because they’re all tied up on other calls right now, so it may be another hour or so before anyone gets to you. It’s the visceral terror you feel when you finally realize that the help you need is never going to come, or if it does, they won’t be there until it’s already too late for you. It’s realizing that you’ll never see your loved ones again, and wondering if anyone will ever find your body, if anyone is going to care that you’re gone, if anyone is ever going to find out what happened to you, if anyone is even going to realize that you’re dead.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma lonely #the lonely tma #the lonely #cw death #cw isolation #cw depressive thoughts #ask to tag #i feel like the lonely gets sort of watered down a lot and tends to be portrayed as depressing or tragic but not really horrific #and it’s not necessarily bad but i just think there tends to be a lot of missed potential in depictions/descriptions of the lonely #maybe it’s just bc i’m schizoid af so i don’t really think of isolation the same way that other people do #in the sense that a lot of the things other people find unpleasant/scary about being alone….just sound kind of nice to me tbh #idk.

[mintflavouredwhump]

Thinking about a living weapon whumpee who has only known chaos and fear throughout their life, either from their victims or themselves when faced with their boss(es).

They've been physically, mentally and emotionally isolated from the rest of society and as much as they try to cover it all up with apathy, they can't help but want some comfort, someone to hold them and care for them.

#touch starved #touch starvation #living weapon #touch starvation whump #living weapon whumpee #living weapon whump #whump #tw isolation #cw isolation #tw whump #whump prompts #whump scenario #whump inspiration #ides of whump

[fear-aesthetic-tourney]

Losers bracket: 1b

Lonely synopsis

You can look to space and see the milky way, the whole thing, as if you're not even a part of it, just some outside observer from deep space. It's similar, I suppose, to looking at a crowd of people, it seems like you're not a part of it, just some outside observer.

Extinction synopsis

Remember autumn? That middle point between summer and winter, where it was sunny but still chilly, so you could wear a coat but probably don't need a scarf, and all the leaves were brown. Yeah, remember?

Corruption synopsis

They say money is a disease, the root of all evil. That money infects you, makes you change, makes you greedy. Spreading like a sickness through society, to the point that they let people die, kill them, just for money.

#the fear aesthetic tourney #the magnus archives #poll #tournament poll #tumblr tournament #the lonely #the extinction #the corruption #cw doom #cw isolation #cw death mention

[rouecentric]

I just want romantic yandere Derrick and romantic yandere Vinter to be love rivals for me? If it's too much, feel free to decline, thanks in advance.

DERRICK ECKHART VS VINTER BERDANDI

Derrick eckhart and vinter berdandi being love rivals / romantic, yandere / tw manipulation, hallucinations, isolation, drugging, violence, kidnapping, forced marriage, death, implied reader being forced to have children, victim blaming.

derrick eckhart, the eldest son of the duke and apparent heir to the duchy, and vinter berdandi, a magician and marquis, somewhat of an odd duo to be fighting over someone's love.

the person who'd "win" your love is honestly based on who you interact with more. such as, if you interact with vinter too much, derrick would kidnap you and force you into marrying him.

even though if you interact with derrick a lot, he'll eventually get the wrong idea that you're into him and will still force you into marrying him. a lose-lose situation.

if you want to be happy and content with who you'd be spending time with for the rest of your life, vinter is the best choice, he's not as violent as derrick, but isn't above manipulating you or isolating you from everyone but him.

derrick is a cruel and violent man, he won't stop until he gets what he wants, even if it means beating you into obedience so you wouldn't run away. he isn't above breaking your legs and mind, too.

how would derrick and vinter try to get your attention? well, derrick is wealthy and pretty arrogant, so he'd gift you lavish things. but vinter would use magic to entertain you, having various conversations with you too.

if you want to go with the safest option, choose vinter, he's very against physically harming you, unlike derrick who'd physically hurt you if you as much were one foot away from the house.

if you don't want children, tough luck man. vinter might be more understanding, but derrick is practically inclined to have children to continue the eckhart bloodline.

if you want to have children, but can't due to certain problems, vinter doesn't mind adopting children! i don't know about derrick, though.

vinter's punishments are more mentally and emotionally damaging, he'd hesitantly lock you in an empty room, either drugging you or using magic to make you think you're hallucinating. vinter would gaslight and blame you after it.

derrick's punishments are much more physical and mentally damaging, as you'd either be beaten or starved in a cold, tiny room.

you'll have more freedom with vinter, as he'd only isolate you if you were to break a rule, otherwise you can pretty much walk around with him and the orphan kids on the streets.

but with derrick, you'll always feel isolated, everyone you get close to a bit too much (derrick's words, not mine) will "mysteriously" dissapear. the only human interaction you can get is from derrick or your ladies in waiting.

#ditoeftv #derrick eckhart #derrick eckart #vinter #vinter berdandi #derrick x reader #derrick eckhart x reader #vinter berdandi x reader #vinter x reader #ditoeftv x reader #death is the only ending for the villainess #tw yandere #cw yandere #tw isolation #cw isolation #tw violence #cw violence #manhwa #manhwa yandere #manhwa x reader #manhwaxreader #yandere manhwa x reader #romantic yandere #tw forced marriage #tw manipulation #cw manipulation #tw victim blaming #cw victim blaming #tw hallucinations #cw hallucinations

[artoutoftheblue]

Waiting..

#im so tired just take this #fnaf security breach #daycare attendant #blues art #confined to one spot au #ctos solar #tw isolation #cw isolation #tw imprisonment #cw imprisonment

[groupalpha]

WARNING

This comic contains themes of isolation. If you are sensitive to such, please skip this comic.

If you wish to proceed, comic is under cut.

13ES: I have it loaded from my memory conflux now. ... I apologize if this is upsetting to anyone.

Loading memory from Memory Conflux

Please stand by...

Memory loaded successfully!

. . .

EPS: Misunderstandings are not something I take lightly.

EPS: It's my job to prevent such misunderstandings from my part. I sincerely apologize for such incompetence.

13ES: Prism that's enough, your work does not equal your worth. You don't need to be so hard on yourself because of a simple mishap.

EPS: With all due respect, that doesn't excuse my actions. I know... that... Stories?

13ES: Prism, something isn't right. The communication towers are... trying to send a signal?

EPS: Stories, your communications are-

13ES: Prism?!

[LIVE BROADCAST] - [ANNOUNCEMENT] COMMUNICATIONS MANIFEST to Group Alpha

[[ERROR]]

CANNOT OBTAIN LOCAL GROUP ID - ATTEMPTING AGAIN. PLEASE STAND BY...

...

. . .

. . .

[[ERROR]]

LOCAL GROUP ID UNOPTAINABLE - SENIOR ID FOUND

ATTEMPTING TO CONNECT...

13ES: I don't... did the communications break? I don't think it... !

[LIVE BROADCAST] - BROADCAST ANNOUNCEMENT - SLIVER OF STRAW

TRIPLE AFFIRMATIVE

AFFIRMATIVE - THE SOLUTION IS PORTABLE AFFIRMATIVE - THE SOLUTION IS FOUND AFFIRMATIVE - THE TECHNICAL IMPLEMENTATION IS POSSIBLE AND APPLICABLE

13ES: Sliver of Straw? But... what-

[EQUIPMENT MANIFEST] Grabbing data Loading Holograms Please stand by...

13ES: Holograms?! But-

[EQUIPMENT MANIFEST] Thirteen Elder Stories - Second Generation Group Senior of Group Unidentified has been added to hologram announcement

[ 13ES: Who else is out there?

STOU,CF: ... . . . You and the future of your group are all that exists. ... Senior Thirteen Elder Stories, do not ask me this again. ]

13ES: ...

. . .

It was a lie. T-there's more of us out here.

They never...

They... they wanted to keep us behind locked doors... they didn't want us to...

Everything... every single thing. It was all a lie. Everything was nothing but a lie.

[LIVE BROADCAST] - COMMUNICATIONS MANIFEST to Thirteen Elder Stories

[[ERROR]]

ID CODE LOST.

ALL PARTICIPANTS IN BROADCAST ANNONCEMENT BLOCKED.

13ES: WAIT!

I...

I never got to even speak to them...

(You can ask questions on this if you'd like)

#rain world #rain world oc #rain world askblog #ga lore #ga comic #isolation #tw isolation #isolation tw #cw isolation #isolation cw #extracted prism sunsets #thirteen elder stories #spiraling tales of uncertainty. countless fates

[madness-in-the-flesh]

Would you happen to have any Sheriff headcanons? Also coolios on the upcoming vacation. Hope you have fun and get that sweet r&r or however you plan to spend your time.

yeah totally! Here you go anon!

Ahh yeah been super excited for it!! been a while since I got some quality time with my sib n' dad so I'm super duper excited!! +) Got a couple things planned too!!

Sheriff General Headcannons

GENRE - Romantic

Trigger warnings - Stockholm Syndrome, Implied Kidnapping, Murder & Murder threat, Gun Violence & Gun threat, Mention of Children ( Adoption wise anyways. ), idealization, Toxic mindsets, delusions, stalking, intimidation, Maladaptive Daydreaming mention, Isolation

Sheriff is possibly one of the better yanderes around Nevada under certain circumstances. Compared to the likes of others, He's a lot more manageable is your able to work with him. This is due to him being both delusional and wanting nothing more than to live in peace with you but that's only IF you play along.

He often daydreams . This has turned into almost a form of maladaptive daydreaming which has almost gotten to the point it takes up most of the time he spends at his desk instead of signing papers. Which has lead to him rushing it and not being able to get everything done

He doesn't really hide his feelings for you, constantly flirting and calling you affectionate pet names. He'll get you gifts and show you his love via hugs, kisses, etc. No matter how much it makes you uncomfortable and tell him to stop, he's already too far gone. To him, It's almost like you two are already in a relationship and in his ideal fantasy world: You are.

He's nice, easy going but isn't stupid. He won't let you go once he has you, even if you ask nicely. Anything else you want though? it's yours. He'll try to get his boys ( aka MERC ) to come around and help him out with it. Thanks to the sense of community Sheriff has established, most will be more than happy to help him out.

He'll also make sure to get some to stalk you and others to dig up some information. He wants to know your likes and dislikes after all! He wants to make sure he can make you happy and compatible in any and every possible way! Maybe even snag a missing item that he can claim you left while visiting him, Y'know. So he has an excuse to see you and play a little bit of the hero.

Wants so desperately to be your hero, to save you from the madness. Wants you to idolize him and swoon as he goes past and winks. Just overall: in his head, he's the cool cowboy who saves the damsel/Damoiseau in distress aka you. It's just how it's meant to be!

He'll get all giggly around you. constantly complimenting you to the point it becomes awkward. Even the littlest thing, Whether it's about your smell or the certain little thing that no one else knows or should know. He just nervously spurs them out, thinking it's endearing when it makes your skin crawl - terrifying you because he shouldn't know that

You could probably kill him and get away but it would result in the MERCS hunting you down for the rest of your days. Not exactly ideal. He just loves you too much to fight back against you or any violence you throw at him - Also he's cowardly. He'd rather run from you than fight, so he usually flees the room if you start trying to get violent with him.

However, With as much as he'd never dream of harming you. He would never let anyone hurt you. Not in a million years, With how soft and sweet he is with you, It'll come as a surprise to the fact he won't hesitate to gun down anyone who even thinks of you the wrong way.

No one gets to tell you that you aren't the perfect thing to ever grace Nevada. You are the best thing that ever happened to him and he will not tolerate slander. Not even from his own men. If anyone does so in his presence or gets told by another member of MERC, He'll make their death easy but in no ways quick.

A lot of people forget just how intimidating he can be but keep in mind, When he is running in every appearance, both in the series and game, The most deadly men of Nevada are behind him. His voice can get real deep and he knows how to make most people's skin crawl from a tilt of his hat and a couple words alone.

Can get insanely paranoid too which had lead him to keeping you close to him. He doesn't want to lose you, he's already lost so much, will only leave you with his most trusted allies and even then - he's constantly checking in. He just wants to live in peace with you, maybe you could even have kids! ( maybe you guys could adopt?... somehow. ) He just really wants the whole domestic fucking package.

But his paranoia leads him to isolating you you - probably the only one you see. It's both to keep you safe. However this might end up with you warming up to him quicker. Grunts are social creatures and flock to each other because they desire that attachment and belonging. You are no different, so when he is the only one you see in your prison, You may start to develop Stockholm syndrome because you crave social interaction and possible affection.

I would not recommend testing the waters. You can't really trust him as far as you can throw him. If you push him far enough, Break too many of his delusions, stripping him of his ideal fantasy world and force him to face reality? It WILL result in severe punishment and an even worse yandere.

He'll essentially " trains " you to go along with it - To meet his expectations and work hard to make his fantasy a reality. You have to because he loves you and there is no other option in his head. He'll become a lot more colder and easily angered over the littlest mistakes you make. Bereding you with insults for not playing along.

He's not playing the nice guy anymore and doesn't intent when he gave you so many chances to play along, to just give him that little bit of indulgence. Just once, Please recuperate his affections because you're slowly wearing him down and he doesn't wanna resort to hurting you. He really doesn't want too, so he'll get other, expendable grunts to do it ( after - slaughtering them for laying a hand on his darling. ).

He's desperate for you to love him back and he will go to any means to get it.

#yandere madness combat #yandere madness combat x reader #madness combat #madness combat x reader #Sheriff #cw yandere #cw gun violence #cw gun threat #cw stockholm syndrome #cw implied kidnapping #cw murder #cw murder threat #cw isolation

[askappos]

a rock with googly eyes: what are you two going to talk about?

Tamarind looked down, ashamed, but forced himself to meet his creation's eyes. "I simply didn't know. Dr. Newdragon at the time seemed to be an upstanding man, and he had always kept his home life private. In hindsight, I should have investigated more, but at the time I was naive and he helped found the company."

"I simply was not aware of his true nature until his wife came forward to me after his death."

"But this isn't justification, just an explanation," said Tamarind, frowning. "In trying to protect you, I failed you and left you traumatized because I trusted your care to the worst possible person. And for that, I don't know if any amount of 'I'm sorry' will ever be enough."

#pokeask #ask reply #prism necrotwo #professor tamarind #anon #pokemon hybrid #pokeaskblog #pokemon askblog #pokemon ask blog #mewtwo #necrozma #cw death mention #cw abuse mention #cw isolation

[icannotgetoverbirds]

Severe fucking content warning

Content warning for literal fucking torture and abuse. everything else should be tagged. If I miss any content warnings please for the love of all that is holy tell me so I can fix it.

Psychological torture. Those are the words bouncing around my head this morning.

Did you know that sleep deprivation and social isolation are often considered to be tied for the worst tortures known to humankind?

Let me give you some more context. When I left mormonism, I lost everything in regards to my social safety net. Mormonism and my mormon friends and family were all I had.

It's by design, too; how is someone supposed to leave if their only safety net disappears when they do? Why would they even consider leaving if that safety net holds them perfectly because they can conform?

But when you can't conform, you fall through the cracks. As I did.

I didn't just lose everything, though. I didn't stop there. I also gained a neighborhood full of watchdogs who I was sure would herd me back to the cult at the first opportunity.

Going outside on foot was no longer an option - if any of my many mormon neighbors saw me, they would have Questions. If I gave any worrying answers, there was bound to be Visits. I wasn't strong enough to handle that.

Besides, I lived in suburban hell. Fifteen minutes just to get out of the neighborhood on foot, another fifteen to get to the nearest gas station. My depressed, broke self wasn't about to spend an hour walking for a round trip to the fucking gas station when I could barely handle doing my own laundry.

So I was trapped inside the house unless my parents or someone else with a car deigned to bring me with them on a trip. But it was fine at first, because I had an internet connection and multiple online friends; plus, I'd managed to forge one irl friendship with someone between deconverting and graduating high school.

My parents weren't happy about this for some reason (I have a working theory as to why and I'll get to it later). Their justification was that it was just generally bad for me to be spending as much time online as I was.

Of course, I wasn't doing great mentally, but they refused to believe that they could be at fault for that with their "mild" transphobia. Surely refusing to accept my newfangled, sinful identity on the basis of a false moral high ground couldn't possibly be the most significant source of my suffering; surely deadnaming and misgendering me couldn't be doing that much damage.

Surely refusing to assist the transitioning process in any way shape or form couldn't be a good enough reason for suicidal ideation. Surely I was just an undermedicated psycho for considering lighting myself on fire just to get them to understand my pain enough to... help me with the process of buying a binder with my own money.

Surely I just needed to get my act together and get over myself.

So, ever since that psych ward visit that treated me better than they did, they decided that I could only have internet access if I did enough of my chores around the house.

Doesn't sound too unreasonable until you remember that 99% of my friends were online. I tried telling them this, and their response was to encourage me to get back in touch with my old ward member friends. You know, from the cult I had just escaped. That, granted, my parents were still very much a part of.

(Remember that theory I was telling you about? That little tidbit is an important piece of evidence.)

So I was cut off from the world with significant regularity, having nothing but a flip phone to contact the one supportive friend whose phone number I had. That friend kept me alive and sane enough to stay that way for nearly a year as this hell dragged on.

At some point, my brother and his girlfriend moved back in with us. I guess they weren't a fan of all the sinning I was doing, because my parents had multiple talks with me about how I needed to give them more space (aka stop existing in the same room as them).

So, eventually, I was all but confined to my bedroom, since I could never sit them down to have a conversation about what times I was allowed to be downstairs and what times they would be occupying that space.

This all built up to the breaking point. I had just developed a new medical condition that left me basically bedbound in pain. I was forced out of bed anyways, because nobody was going to take care of me (probably due to the nature of the condition being considered 'sinful'). I did what I could as I could, as I always have.

There had been a misunderstanding about chores. My brother and his girlfriend were in charge of one bathroom, i was in charge of the other. Except I thought I was in charge of the wrong one. So while the downstairs bathroom stayed clean (despite me not doing much to maintain it), the upstairs bathroom became absolutely filthy.

It all came to a head when my brother yelled at me to take care of my responsibility. I finally figured out what had happened and explained to him why I hadn't been doing it, as well as why I wasn't about to start until I could actually, you know, stay standing for any significant amount of time. He yelled at me more and threatened to tell our mom.

I told him to go ahead, as any rational person would take one look at the situation and agree that I needed to rest. My only mistake was assuming that my mom retained any rationality for me.

So she called me and attempted to chew me out. mind you, i was ill and in debilitating pain already, so I put my foot down and asked her to save it for later. But I knew what was coming when she said we were going to "have a conversation" when she got home. She was going to take away my flip phone to force me to do as I was told.

My flip phone, 99% of the use for which was to call my one and only friend that i could access. My one and only friend who was the sole support in my life. The only person, the only thing keeping me sane.

That was going to be it for me. If she did that (and she'd done it before, so there was precedent), I was going to fucking kill myself.

So I locked her out of my room that night and tried to get a good night's rest in preparation for what would have to happen in order for me to survive.

At about 4 in the morning the next day, I packed up everything that i could carry and i walked out the door.

Every single thing I have been through since that day has been worth it to get out of that hell. I am still homeless over a year later and the only thing I wish I did different was to leave sooner and prepare better. Maybe get a nice duffel bag and do my laundry first instead of hauling all my dirty clothes in trash bags. I could've saved myself a lot of trouble by getting my documents together beforehand.

anyways. Befoer I came out as trans and not a mormon, my mother seemed fully supportive - or at least, like she was supporting me as much as she was capable of doing.

Afterwards? She never looked at me the same way again.

And so I have to wonder how two changes to my identity and lifestyle could wrench her away from kindness like that. How they could possibly cause such a significant change in how she treated me.

Here's the working theory.

Mormons prey on vulnerable people. Their missionaries are literally told to seek out the meek and weary and poor to "give them rest." This is also how they bring people back - they find out which inactive members are struggling without their safety net (which they often remove for the sin of inactivity/deconversion/etc) and those are the ones that they grasp at to try and bring back. Those are the ones that they reach out to, that they check in on.

So, how better to take advantage of someone's vulnerability than to make them vulnerable yourself? How better to make them vulnerable than to take away all of their safety nets? How better to tear them from their sin than to tear their sinful friends from them?

How better to break an apostate than to back them into a corner and bring in the walls? How better to turn someone towards your god than to give them no other choice except to be crushed?

And if they'd rather die than return to Jesus, well, then, at least you're sending them straight to the afterlife. Then they'll HAVE to see the truth. Then they'll HAVE to repent.

After all, all my mother needs to do to keep our family together forever is to keep me righteous. She already gave me a body. What loss is the rest of my life compared to the rest of eternity?

Better to die young than to live in sin. Better to be forced to come to Jesus than to choose to live free of him.

She wasn't a bumbling fool incapable of listening to me when I told her she was hurting me. She knew exactly what she was doing.

She abused me, TORTURED me, entirely on purpose. Entirely for the purpose of bringing me back to her god.

I have been tortured. I have experienced psychological torture. I probably have fucking brain damage from said psychological torture.

https://solitarywatch.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/SW-Fact-Sheet-5-Neurological-Effects-v230613.pdf

So, all that said, is it any wonder that I thought the streets would be better? Is it any wonder that I never want to see her again unless it's to use her grave as a gender neutral bathroom?

She nearly killed me. I think that was an acceptable outcome to her, too.

Certainly, the last thing she expected was for me to put my back to one wall and my feet to another and clamber out of that trap she made. Should've put a roof on it, I guess.

Anyways. If it seems like I've been less online/chipper than usual, it's because I've spent the past week coming to terms with this shit.

I love you all so, so much. Thanks for being there for me. Here's to staying alive; to escaping the trap; to finding our own families and leaving our abusers behind in the dust.

Here's to all of you. Y'all were worth the trouble of being homeless, easily.

#byrd chirps #byrd's business #cw abuse #cw torture #cw captivity #cw isolation #cw cults #cw cult abuse #cw religion #cw religious trauma #exmo #exmormon #byrd is an exmo #cw ableist language #cw self harm mention #cw suicidal ideation #cw psych ward #okay to rb #cw homelessness #oh and this isn't even mentioning that they pulled the money card after that psych ward visit #literally they were like #'okay sweetie we're gonna pay for it this time but Next Time this happens you need to Show Some Responsibility and pay for it yourself' #which was the tipping point for me realizing that me not making it out of there alive was a perfectly acceptable option to them #because i know them and they may be stupid #but they're not stupid enough to believe that forcing me to pay for my psych ward visits would keep me from needing the psych ward #mind you these people are affording rent on a very nice 4 bedroom suburban house #and they keep fucking guilting me about how much money i'm costing them? #anyways. it was fucked up. #the worst part is i honestly think the lack of acceptance was more painful than the social isolation #if they hadn't isolated me i still don't know if i would've been able to tolerate their transphobia

[iliketowatchmyblobrossuffer]

Okay I don’t know how to explain this but like bare with me because it’s rotating in my head lately.

So like I’m thinking about a character , being a nobles partner/child/ect. And the Whump happening congruently. Like whumper is hurting them but also using them as a tool to make themself look good, and if whumpee slips up at a fancy party or even shows a hint of rebellion there punished. I’m thinking about glitterly ballroom dresses so tight they can’t breathe and black suits that hide the blood,

if it’s kidnapping thing imagine their loved ones seeing them at a fancy party of all places.

And everyone else is somewhat aware or at least suspects somyhing is off with how whumper is treating whumpee but doesn’t care or is powerless to help.

Idk somthing about that dissonance between public presentation and reality makes for some interesting thoughts and ideas it’s the hushed voices the quiet threats.

#prompts #making evil plans #whump #cw manipulation #cw abuse #cw isolation #cw toxic relationship #manipulative whump cw

[stonebutchwritings]

Hi! 💕 What happened with those two femmes in your post? It doesn't explicitly state what they said/did. No hate, just trying to understand.

cw fatphobia, cw ableism, cw isolation

no-contact dropped my femme out of their discord server with other femmes for supposedly sending a nsfw video of a "friend" to the sfw server, even though they wouldn't share any type of evidence of anything even happening to let us know if she was hacked. i know my femme didn’t do it bc 1) we were in an ed workshop all day 2) her screentime showed she wasn’t on discord the entire day until after she was kicked out and 3) she doesn't have nsfw videos of "friends"??? but even if she did it could’ve been an accident or a hacking? but instead of supporting someone who has literally been a victim of revenge porn possibly being used to share unsolicited nsfw vids, they just kicked her out without saying why. she had to find out why by another group she's in on fb telling her she was acting "predatory" and then telling her the supposed claims as well as then sexualizing photos of my chest even though i’m transmasc and said photos didn’t include my nipples even. they’re blacklisting someone for something supposedly done that day, but also apparently she was "acting predatory" too? and the timing seems awfully convenient when you consider they were dodging her questions abt access into a larger butchfemme server for a week or more despite everyone else already being in. it all just seems very much like they either have no trust or care for people and like to demonize them right off the bat, which is super transformative /s, or they just made this shit up to get rid of her, which honestly seems more likely. not surprising either bc the creators of the group are both so patriarchal in their conceptions of femininity (all they post are pictures of lace and kittens and hearts and dresses) and it doesn't seem like a mistake that they just didn’t give a fuck about isolating and blackballing the fat autistic femme in their midst. its already so damn hard to make friends with new people as an autistic and fat person but making femme friends is even harder. and then they called what they thought was apparently serious enough to just block and remove roo on all platforms "drama"??? like be fucking fr. is it a big deal or is it drama!!! i hate them.... anyways. thank u for caring to ask.

#cw fatphobia #cw ableism #cw isolation #ask #anon #mine

[thatblondeperson]

Drew this a while ago, but it's always relevant. I just wanted to draw everything I feel all at once, how it piles on.

How I feel like I'm slowly decaying from my stress over everything. There's so much on my shoulders right now, and there's so much I'm always battling inside myself that just makes me feel like I'm going to burst at the seams. I want to scream. I want to let it out, but I don't have the best outlets, so I just let it eat me instead.

I'm stuck in a cloud of all these negative thoughts about myself, some that I've conjured, but many that I've been told over the years both by people who were just passerbys in my life, and by the people closest to me. No matter what I do, I can't step out of the fog of my negative perception of myself. I open up about my feelings, I feel like an insufferable burden on those who are subjected to my whining. I hold it in, and I feel like people won't ever understand the pain I feel. But that's not their responsibility, it's mine. I don't want them to be stuck with my problems, but I don't know how to reasonably ask for help and assurance. I'm fucking crumbling and melting and there's no way to make it stop.

I'm too reliant on the people in my life, but I shut myself off from everyone. I don't reach out. I'm tired, I'm stressed, but I need people to talk to. But I'm scared to reach out sometimes for fear of putting too much stake into relationships that will inevitably wither no matter what, because I'm just a temporary rest stop on people's roads. I'm not an end destination or even a vacation home to visit now and then. I know there are people I've lost in life for no reason. Even with all of my insecurities, I know that there have been people who have simply dropped me for something better. It's happened a lot over my life, and while I understand that I'm the common denominator in those equations, the context of the fallout is important. They just...found people they liked better. So I didn't matter anymore. Sometimes they told me right to my face or over text, why I would no longer be a part of their life. It's real heartwarming to be told "you'll always be like my sister, but I just don't see us hanging out anymore."

As optimistic as I try to be, as vain as I know I can be, I have such a negative and dark perception of myself. I am too much and not enough. I try to make myself seem interesting, I try to be kind, I try to be a safe space, I try to be a good ear, I try to make people see that I care about them. I try. I can't understand what I'm doing wrong or why people just decide that I'm not good enough. I don't know how to shake my feelings of worthlessness and my fears of being left behind. I talk to therapists, and I'm given all the tools to help pull myself out of my thoughts, but I can't get a good enough hold and I slip and fall, over and over again.

I'm fucking hurting. I need help.

#personal #my art #tmi #tw depression #tw body horror #cw depression #cw body horror #tw isolation #cw isolation

[admiritisic]

Been home alone few days now , no one awake or online atm. Not gave a great feeling about this so floor time again. Will be home alonen?? Week or two guh hate being alone

#cw vent #vent #cw isolation

[fear-aesthetic-tourney]

1c

Eye synopsis:

Eyes. Security cameras, surveillance, things you shouldn't know, but do. Someone looking though your window. Following you. Watching you. Is it a nagging feeling that you aren't sure of? Or is this a display? Are you being watched? Or are you the voyeur?

Propaganda

Eye avatae propaganda is the feeling of being known completely, both your best and worst parts, and being embraced by its gaze all the same. The constant pursuit of knowledge and the satisfaction upon receiving it. You're being watched no matter what, so you may as well do as you wish (that bit genuinely has improved my social anxiety a lot lol).

Lonely synopsis

Solitude, isolation, a particularly uncomfortable chair. A fog that encases you, a fog in your mind. You are alone. Maybe you're surrounded by people but you're alone. They don't get you. They don't understand. Maybe you're by yourself. Maybe you always have been.

No propaganda submitted

#the eye #the lonely #poll #the fear aesthetic tourney #the magnus archives #tumblr tournament #tournament poll #cw paranoia #cw isolation #cw scopophobia #cw eyes