SHE PLAYED PEACE?????
WITHOUT ME??????
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i think bushiroad needs to die for these frames
how am i supposed to live my life knowing that legion mate kai walked that way thinking about the first time he and aichi met
how am i supposed to live my life knowing he might hear a voice so similar to aichi so he turns around hoping he's there behind him but he's not
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE MY LIFE SEEING THE PAIN IN AICHI'S FACE WHEN HE SEES KAI
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE MY LIFE SEEING AICHI PAINED TO SEE KAI TRYING TO SAVE HIM
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE MY LIFE KNOWING AICHI WAS SAD BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO LET KAI SUFFER BUT KAI JUST KEPT TRYING NO MATTER WHAT
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I remember the first day I watched game theory, I was around eight or nine. My best friend Asra had come over to hang out. Me and Asra loved fnaf, we had been obsessed since it came out. Watching dumb fan videos like circleteen, and I'm banana skits with the anamatronics as the cast. We even shipped the anamatronics, cut us some slack, we were really young when it first started.
And then we had just finished some video, i can't remember what it was. And then we saw an eye catching thumbnail in the next section
"Game theory: FNAF, The clue that SOLVES five nights at freddy's!"
Yep. The first theory me and my best friend watched, was dream theory. We were blown away, I mean we knew barebones lore at that time. And by bare bones I mean bare bones. We were so fascinated that we kept watching, clicking every video of his we could find.
Even after Asra left, I was still watching. And we never really stopped, as we got older we still watched, not just FNAF we watched all of them!
Of course, our FNAF hyperfixation ended eventually. But we didn't stop watching. We grew up but we didn't stop. In truth, I'm not sure if Asra watches him anymore, but whenever I'm drawing or sketching, I turn game theory on. Because I know il enjoy it, I know il love the theory regardless of how good the actual theory is.
I knew a lot of people didn't like Matpat. All the rumors of homophobia, transphobia, and probably more, I don't know about. I remember my older brother told me not to watch him because he ruined games. I didn't listen. I actively ignored him, and I don't regret it one bit.
I almost cried watching that video, and I want to cry.
Because while i don't know Matpat, he's not my friend. He's a part of my childhood, a large part. And him leaving feels like another gut punch, just like after I watched the FNAF movie. The gut punch that I couldn't avoid forever. Things change
And that concept still horrifies me. Because I know that things are going to keep changing, and that my childhood is going to leave. And that's okay.
Because Matpat deserves to leave, he always has. Him and Steph deserve the world. I hope Ollie grows up to be someone amazing. I hope their life is wonderful, because they made mine so happy. They made my bad days at school fade away when I got the notification that a new fnaf game theory was up.
So with this post i want to say thank you. Thank yoy Matthew, thank you for making my interests feel less stupid and more cool, thank you for donating to so many charities, thank yoy for making SO many peoples lives better. Thank you for being you.
And with all that said, this is just a goodbye. A proper goodbye, and cut.
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just finished reading backwards and now i gotta continue with my school day as if nothing happened (it was one of the most devastating things i have ever read)
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Currently violently crying throwing up because on Monday I start school again and I'm going to be all alone because I'm going to a completely new school because of my A-levels and all of my friends go to a different school and I don't know anybody at all.
I finished my O-level 2 months ago and was super happy and shit not a care in the world but today it hit me that I'll never ever be in the same class as my friend
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I'm literally just gonna start from chapter two
Bye Joe and Kai
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
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