#critique my story

[papermint-airplane]

Urgent critique request!

Should I continue my Bachelor save or should I fold Aiden into another save? Hmm. 🤔

I don't think many people read my Bachelor save, probably because it's not an actual Bachelor challenge but a story narrative in Bachelor challenge clothes. It's a little out there but I enjoy the characters a lot and I don't want to let them go, especially Aiden. Should I drop the Bachelor thing and continue their story in another way?

And I'm not asking because I've run out of ideas, because I have a lot more things I'd like to do. I've held off posting it just because it doesn't get much attention. Maybe it's because my pictures for it are kinda uninteresting or maybe because it's a weird premise that doesn't come through very clearly. I won't be rebooting it entirely, just leading the story in a different direction away from the "abducted and forced to compete in a reality TV dating show broadcast across the galaxy via pirate signal for potentially nefarious reasons". Does that set up even come across in my writing or is it too vague? Is the premise getting in the way of the narrative?

This isn't me giving up or fishing for compliments, I'm genuinely asking because I don't know if I'm taking the ideas in my head as "of course this comes across fine" without clarifying things that need to be clarified. Maybe the way I've been writing it is just confusing. Does that make sense?

I'm definitely keeping the characters, though. Just... maybe they could be in a different situation? Maybe give Aiden more time in the forefront? And if I do soft-reboot it, what would you be interested in seeing?

#sims 3 #sims 3 stories #help please #critique my story #don't be afraid of hurting my feelings #i have felt this way for a while #and i guess i just want confirmation

[cadaverousdecay]

I found one of those things you call a mermaid on the pier the other night. All tied up and thrashing its poor body around like a fish caught in a net.

That image repulsed me. You know I've never been one for fishing. Even catch and release puts me off. I don't like to watch the poor thing slowly suffocating as it waits to be thrown back in, its gills heaving and sputtering for water.

That creature tied up on the pier, the gash of gills on its neck was heaving and sputtering just in that way, dark ocean water flowing out with every failed breath, it really made me sick.

I pulled out my pocket dagger and its attention was on me. Its eyes bulged wide and I wondered if, like a fish, it couldn't blink. The sight of my dagger set it off into another thrashing fit and I tried to calm it down. Poor thing didn't seem to understand a word. It kept opening and closing its faded lips, but nothing came out. Must've spoke some kinda fish language.

I held it firmly in place and slowly brought the dagger to the knots binding its wrists. It calmed down after seeing that I wasn't here to cut its flesh. Or maybe it had just lost all energy from being out of the water too long. Either way, it stayed still as I cut the ropes around its legs.

When it was freed, it just lay there on the pier. So still it might've been dead, other than the weak flapping of the gill at its throat. I needed to get it into the water, and fast.

I lifted it up, one arm under its neck, the other under its knees. Its skin was slightly warm, unlike any fish I'd ever briefly held. But the same clamminess. Warmer than its skin was the water spurting from its gills.

I stepped closer to the edge of the pier and the thrashing returned. It must've known it was going back home, and was getting excited. I took a step back to gather momentum, and pushed forward with all my might, throwing the creature in kicking and flailing.

It hit the water with a splash, and stayed at the surface for a moment. Almost like it was treading water. Must've wanted to say thanks. After a few seconds it slowly sunk down. Back to its home.

I imagined the slit in its neck filling up with ocean water and I could finally breathe easy again. I couldn't get that sick taste out of my mouth for awhile, though. Same sick taste of my first fishing trip.

"Who cut its neck?" I remember asking my mama as the fish struggled in my hand, tail thrashing, scales cold. She told me those were its gills, that's how it breathed. Through the slits in its throat.

"So it's breathing through its neck?"

"No, sweetie. Not now."

I took one last look over the pier into the dark water below, getting darker. That fish is breathing now. It's gotta be.

#my writing #short story #critique and comments welcome :) i havent written much in awhile lol #okay i added a bit what do we think

[dyssonant-skyline]

"because its hell" doesn't hold up.

When you create a setting from scratch, you have total control over it. You get to make the rules. You can't excuse a flaw in writing or presentation with "it is hell, it has to be this way!"

Here is one paraphrased example from Hazbin Hotel I've heard recently in response to a critique of calling the main characters too reliant on pinks/reds:

"All the characters have red in their color schemes because they are from the Pride ring and the rings are color coordinated."

While this gives an in-character/in-lore explanation for the color schemes, what it doesn't do is change the fact Hazbin Hotel's characters having a hard time standing out from the background. An in-character/in-lore justification should NOT be prioritized over the overall quality of a project.

As a writer, you have control over the constraints of your story. If you write yourself into a corner, you can't just throw up your hands and give up. You have to be willing to rework your lore and stories to make them stronger.

If excessive cursing is grating and making certain moments within your story less impactful, you should reel it in because it makes the presentation stronger. If your color based lore is causing the visuals of your project to suffer, it is time to reassess the lore.

Just because something is logically consistent within a world, doesn't make it a good writing/art choice.

A setting's rules should serve stories and characters, not the other way around.

#please... stop using that as an excuse. it is an admission that the writers could have fixed the issue by thinking through the- #worldbuilding/lore more... but they didnt. Anyway #that's my personal take/rant on how stories should be written. #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel criticism #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel redesign #helluva boss redesign #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical #Dys rants

[autism-alley]

look obviously i don’t know the guy but i feel like 2009 rick riordan would fist fight 2024 rick riordan

#or at least send him a strongly worded email like he did to the production of the movies #my man you already wrote the story #the movies committed the sin of sexing up his children’s story #now the show is committing the sin of removing the story’s spirit #if that sounds dramatic to you. same but once i thought about it? yeah. #i rly fucking hope disney is more to blame than rick but the show is not automatically above criticism bc rick is involved #and i am just being silly with this post but i am itching to post my own critiques #i have been rb’ing critiques i agree with so i won’t repeat those but i have points of my own to make #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo show crit #percy jackson disney+ #percy jackson and the olympians #rick riordan #ris raves

[choccy-milky]

bruh i need to vent about a rude comment i got on my recent chap and also about clora, cuz its something thats been on my mind for a while now. it has spoilers to my most recent chap tho so im putting it below

so in my most recent chap clora gets hit by the killing curse but thanks to seb sacrificing himself for her, it doesn’t work/she survives. and I got a rly rude comment about how that’s super cringe and that clora is a "shoe horning of every possible manifestation of Mary-Sueism I have ever seen." theyre dropping my fic after almost 500k words bc apparently THAT’S where they draw the line and that "just somehow pulling it out the bag and surviving a killing curse from the power of love. In simpler terms, it’s absolutely cringe worthy" and "forgive me if I rolled an eye at the yet again invincible nature of Clora Clemons-the-one-eighth-Veela-extraordinaire"

BUT LIKE LMAO TELL ME U DIDN’T READ/WATCH HARRY POTTER WITHOUT TELLING ME. that’s literally what happens to harry??but its only cringe when it happens to our "mary-sue" clora? like yeah sure love magic might be a bit cringe but IM LITERALLY JUST PULLING FROM THE SOURCE MATERIAL. of all the things to take issue with in my fic and interpretations, theyre taking issue with something that’s canon BAHAHA.

and since im on the topic of clora being mary sue can I just say I hate the misogyny/internalized misogyny that i've seen some people (NOT A LOT, THANKFULLY) treat her with. like i get it, im not pale and blonde and as conventionally pretty as clora is, but even if I was, is that a reason to hate me?? and does being beautiful and well-liked = mary sue? bc as far as I know, mary sue is a chara who is just naturally amazing at everything and doesnt need to try hard and theyre just inexplicably great for no reason (like mc in the base game BAHHAA) if anything the mary sue in MY fic is seb LMAO (but hes a boy so its ok). like clora has worked hard and studied magic all her life due to being a squib and wanting to make up for not being able to DO it. she isnt good at flying, seb is still better at her than duelling, shes really short sighted when it comes to doing/thinking whats best for others and can be a huge idiot.... and like. the only guys that have even shown interest in clora on a real scale have been seb and leander (and then lawley for blackmail purposes, and also bc he hates seb) so its not like literally everyone is falling over themselves for her?? like her interactions with the main cast of boys (ominis, garreth, amit) theyre all indifferent to her LMAO but still, the fact that shes pretty and guys here and there might look at her and go o shes cute! doesnt make her a mary sue SORRy thats just called being attractive idk its just annoying that ppl automatically see a nice kind beautiful female character without any VISIBLE flaws and go SHES TOO PERFECT!! MARY SUE!! WAH IM JEALOUS! and like I get it bc when I was younger I probs would have been annoyed by clora as well due to my own insecurities and internalized misogyny but hey, how about u just realize that’s ur own problem and your own jealousy, and not a real one HAHAH anyway ive since evolved bc I used to be a ‘not like other girls’ type girl back in highschool. trying to be super tomboy-y bc I thought being feminine was cringe and too basic but now ive embraced it and love girly things and dresses and charas like clora who are still strong and showcase their strengths and weaknesses in subtler ways, and I want to smooch her and make out with her. get behind me clora ill protect you🤺🤺🤺

#choccytalky #finally using that tag #tho its more like CHOCCYRANTY holy this is so long BHAHAHA #also one more thing idk why ppl think its ok to give unsolicited criticism to fanfic writers. like these are stories we're writing for US #and for free like u dont have to rudely declare how unhappy you are with it and that youre stopping. like what do u want me to do #do u want a refund?? BYE!! JUST GO!! like. i also wouldnt want unsolicited criticism or critiques on my visual/drawn art #and ppl understand that. so whys it so hard to understand ppl ALSO dont want it on their writing? both take effort #and giving actual valid criticism is a skill (which is why it was literally a CLASS when i was in uni) #i need a drink #and by that i mean COKE ZERO BABYYYYYYY #AND MORE DRAGONS DOGMA 2

[helluva-daughter]

if Garten of Banban has better queer rep than your story with openly queer characters I think you have a problem with your story

#garten of banban #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #mod paimon #vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critique #hazbin hotel critical #i fucking love garten of banban oh my GOD #its so funny how i hate HB but love this story with MUCH WORSE WRITING #autism curses me every day with my love of GoBB

[royalarchivist]

Oscurucho: Welcome back, brother. Cucurucho: What. Oscurucho: Not even a "Good morning"? How cold.

Here's Cucurucho and Oscurucho's long lore conversation from yesterday! The entire conversation lasted about 8 minutes, but most of that time was just silence between each exchange, so I edited out the long pauses and got it down to ~3 minutes. I also fixed the audio levels and added subtitles since I personally find it difficult to understand Oscurucho sometimes :'D

I hope folks find this helpful!

[ Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

-

Oscurucho: Welcome back, brother.

Cucurucho: What.

Oscurucho: Not even a "Good morning"? How cold.

[They enter Cucurucho's office]

Oscurucho: I wanted to see if you're still as rigid in your beliefs as ever. You see, I've been thinking about our... Let's call it "philosophical divergence." You stand for order, for predictability. But where's the fun in that? You see, brother, while you build, I ponder the beauty in tearing down. It's not just destruction - it's rebirth. A chance to remake things in a more... thrilling image.

[...]

Oscurucho: You once had a backbone for our cause. Now, I see a softness in you, a sentimental weakness for those Eggs. Mere experiments, and yet - they've softened you.

Cucurucho: Your vision obstructs the path to perfection. You fail to understand the potential of the Eggs.

Oscurucho: Potential? They're but catalysts for change - for revolution. Without them, stagnation reigns.

[...]

Oscurucho: You chase perfection, I embrace the beauty of flaws. Your world is one of order, mine thrives in chaos. You wish for everything to run smoothly, I dream of watching it all burn to the ground. We may share a name, but our souls are worlds apart. All your efforts, all for what? Mere acknowledgment from a Duck who told you to do it? Imagine the possibilities - rather, show me where it is, and I'll do the rest.

[...]

Oscurucho: Speaking of possibilities, I couldn't help but notice how easily others can access the island. It seems your security measures aren't as impenetrable as you think.

Cucurucho: No. My island's vulnerabilities are of your own making. Do not mistake restraint for ignorance.

Oscurucho: Pity. But then again, I never really needed your approval. Just consider: Cucurucho - in your quest for order, have you not sown the seeds of your own undoing? Do you genuinely trust all your Federation minions?

Cucurucho: ...

Oscurucho: Perhaps it's time you question not just my intentions, but those who you believe stand with you.

Cucurucho: That is none of your business, I shall say. Now, leave me alone and try to disturb someone else.

#Cucurucho #Oscurucho #QSMP #December 21 2023 #Edited #Subtitles #For those who like knowing the gritty details and specifics about the things I did for this video - #I adjusted Cucurucho's volume because they were very quiet compared to Oscurucho #I fixed the sound direction (for lack of a better word) of Oscurucho's voice b/c he was speaking through my right headphone 90% of the time #so now it's more of a ''centered'' audio rather than a right ear or left ear thing #I added subtitles (obviously) #I fixed the camera a bit so it's more focused on Cucurucho / Oscurucho #and I adjusted the translator box so that even with the crop; they're all still included #usually they get cut out when I edit things because I'm just focused on the characters; but then one day I was like #''Why am I cropping out this thing that specifically helps people understand the story better?'' #So moving forward I'll see if I can do what I did here and add translation boxes as their own ''layer'' overlaying the clip itself #for big lore videos anyways or for clips with long conversations at least #I jokingly said to myself ''I bet I'll wind up shaving 5 minutes off this'' and I was right lol #I enjoy the official QSMP streams but one major critique I have is that the pacing was a bit slow in one or two streams #which is understandable considering many admins have to write in books (which takes time) and translate things (which takes even more time) #And that's valid! But in the last stream (the one with Elena) for example; many scenes dragged on far too long #and it wasn't because people were taking extra long to write books or translate things. It was purely a matter of pacing #idk I'm a professional writer and editor so I'm extra nitpicky about things like that. I think it's something that's pretty easy to fix tho #This is just my critique in terms of the story pacing - like I said; the time it takes them to write / translate stuff is understandable #this is more of a comment on the overall pacing #anyways rant over #Today's stream had much better pacing! Still a bit slow (again; I cut 5 minutes from this conversation) #but that's due to the communication medium (TTS) so that's understandable. That's valid. I'm not fussed about it; that felt natural #Take all the time you need kings it's hard to translate things on the fly. I get it. #Portfolio

[yukipri]

Was poking around AO3 for kicks and giggles, and I find it fascinating how so many folks can just go ah, yes, this story Inspires me to Create, while this…not so much.

I know this isn’t entirely fair given the discrepancy in the amount of media per franchise, but here are the AO3 works counts for Dune, Star Wars, and Star Trek, all sci-fi classics that also have new additions to their respective franchises.

Especially given how Star Wars itself draws heavy inspiration from Dune, I just find the differences in these numbers interesting! And I feel the same! SW does appeal to me a lot more than the bloodline obsession/freaky eugenics/religious manipulation themes of Dune, which also exists in SW but far less.

(Also, while I really loved Chani in the new film, I definitely personally did not feel any shipping sparks between her and Paul, I just wanted her to get away. The guy does NOT deserve her in any way. (then again, I also felt no shipping sparks between Padmé and Anakin, so this could just be a me thing…))

This also reminds me of how the James Cameron Avatar films are a huge fandom flop, despite the budget and blockbustery fanfare they got.

To be clear, I don't necessary think media needs to spark fandom creativity in order to be good or worthwhile, and there's plenty of stuff I enjoy without feeling the need to create, so this isn't meant to be a criticism per se.

But I was just contemplating about different media and themes that inspire me and makes me want to engage in a community, versus stuff that doesn't.

If you have any thoughts, feel free to share!

#YukiPri rambles #Star Wars #Dune #Star Trek #this is just me rambling but it felt like a Tumblr post #again folks have reasons to want/not want to watch these films and this post isn't about that #I didn't watch the new Avatar so can't really critique it #My only experience with Dune is the new movies though I've read up on the full story and #ngl it did not make me want to watch the older stuff or read the books #I have limited experience with Star Trek too #so I'm personally coming from a hugely Star Wars biased perspective but #hmm just thinkin the numbers be interesting

[jahiera]

not including major story issues — most notably wyll’s complete lack of plot, effort, and care in contrast to other origin stories — and not including actual gameplay mechanic stuff, I really hope larian distances and separates itself from fandom feedback going forward like. it’s utterly inane to me to add lines for gortash & durge implying a deeper bond & then immediately remove them because of a sect of player backlash (mostly players from what i can tell that didn’t want their big scary durgeguy fantasy to be gay.) like, we can talk about the effectiveness of the patches, the drip-by-drip implementation of new story stuff that may not exist by the next hot fix, but constantly trying to cater to fan outrage, let alone fan ideas, “fanon,” etc will literally only cheapen the game, and possibly make it borderline unplayable in terms of being attached to certain story things that get patched out for no discernible reason (astarion’s poetry sewn into his clothes you will always be missed.) like, its your story!! please stop listening to twitter clamors for whatever minor story thing they don’t like (that doesn’t actually do anything but impede perhaps someone’s HC or Perfect Playthrough—which is again, where fan works etc come through, not actual changes to the game’s story). put that effort into what’s actually needed, like fleshing out wyll’s writing & having some transparency about THAT. it’s soooooo annoying. fan access to creators has never. ever. ever ever ever worked out well. i know there was a precedent from EA that fan access helped improve story & gameplay, but quite honestly, especially in characterization writing, there were downgrades from EA in some areas that were entirely linked to fan “feedback” that amounted to I Don’t Like When Women Arent Nice To Me. anyways

#augh augh augh augh augh augh augh aughh aguhhhh #this isn’t really a defense or critique of larian — i have no attachment to a studio by default #I think there are some clear blunders theyve made ; also think they’re beset by the inevitable #idiot side of any gamer community — specifically the This Is My Wish Fulfillment And I Get To Complain To The Creators About It! #once again not including major story critique — Wyll — the evil path’s lack of content & effort in comparison — etc etc #anyways. anyways!!!! #complaining once again about things that ultimately do not matter 🫶

[seventh-fantasy]

re: jianghu as a queer space in mlc

here to answer @redemption-revenge !! in reply to this post

(also tagging @markiafc @ananeiah <3)

there are many definitions of jianghu, but this is specifically based on the framing of jianghu as the space people retreat to, away from the mainstream sphere governed by the imperial court. in that is a sense of rejection and defiance against the patriarchal, heteronormative values and norms, which had been enforced through a fixation on upkeeping order in the society. as such i guess it's not too much of a stretch to interpret jianghu as a queer space in a way that's characterised by a spirit of nonconformity to the norms. consequently, it makes sense for stories set in jianghu be used to illustrate and navigate queer identities/experiences/feelings - which I came to believe mlc had made really good use of.

there's always kind of a dichotomy between 江湖 jianghu and 庙堂 miaotang (ie. imperial court). like in mlc, there are two separate, distinct law enforcement bodies from the respective spheres - and jianghu strives to keep imperial court from interfering in their affairs. like how li xiangyi firmly stands against getting imperial court involved in jianghu matters. like how fang duobing is actively running away from the grip of the royal court on his life choices. the rejection of the mainstream (very conveniently and broadly put, confucian) norms in mlc also manifests in many of its key relationships being non-familial (in the sense of blood/marriage-based kinship) and there being little emphasis on the main characters' biological familial ties. (anyway this is for a whole different meta on its own... edit: it's here)

it's then actually a sort of irony that the imperial court's institution of law and order is what sigu sect/baichuan court had been formed to be a de facto counterpart to. so when li xiangyi becomes li lianhua, it triggered the process of deconstructing the meaning of installing such an institution and the need to maintain order to a fundamentally nonconforming space such as jianghu. mama fang's seemingly throwaway line of criticising li xiangyi and his mission is in fact the thesis statement in this particular reading of mlc's story: jianghu makes its own rules. nobody should dare to do it in its place.

now deprived of all means to fight like he used to, li xiangyi's new life as li lianhua is essentially a refresh of how he views jianghu. the death of li xiangyi the leader of sigu sect and top of wulin, meant taking apart the idea that jianghu is a lawless arena where the fittest fight to the top for power and control over wulin. and li lianhua then putting together lotus tower, living a life focusing on a domestic lifestyle this time for real far from the reach of the governance both from the imperial court and sigu sect/baichuan court, is him living the jianghu that's defined as a space away from any form of conformity.

with that, there's also a sense of queerness to this particular way of living as li lianhua, if you consider the chinese conceptualisation of gender being more social than biological. if femininity and masculinity were respectively characterised by inner/domestic sphere and external/any space outside of that, dare I say...it actually makes li lianhua's moving house mindblowingly smart as a metaphor for gender fluidity. lonely wanderers are common in wuxia but housed lonely wanderers? he carved for himself a domestic (ie. feminine) space in the wilderness - among a jianghu space that's still dominated by masculine values of aggression and competition. and being freely mobile makes this feminine space more fluid and less tied down than the more rigid, inert domestic, feminine spaces in traditional mainstream society. when you combine it with how his character has been fem-coded - even as li xiangyi (eg. yin-coded powers/energy) (also a whole other meta on its own... edit: it's here now), it speaks to a part of him that has always found appeal in qualities conventionally associated with femininity of stability, gentleness and non-aggression. and a rejection of expectations to fight and destroy. he is defining who he is in his own terms, in the true spirit of jianghu.

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #my posts #lhl #lhlmeta #jielin writes something #also ofc the queer reading wrt defiance against norms in the way of choosing jianghu extends to fdb (and dfs?) individually too #fdb. ace. in particular #this meta can go longer. so much more to be said. but i was committed to posting it before i go to bed #but i'll say here first that i think it's the femininity in lxy that is what precisely makes him an unparalleled swordsman. not in spite of #apologies if it doesnt make any sense or just going off tangents in general lol it's 2am #struggled supremely writing this. for hours i was mind to mouth.meme #i sound batshit insane by the last part but at least that idea had been somewhat peer reviewed by my lovely friends........... #mark and ana don't read though before yall finish the show #also this is what happens to ur brain when ur other media obsession is a hardcore confucian critique/deconstruction #of a royal court intrigue story

[hamable]

Hey I just finished Hilda season 3 and I am forever changed.

I joke that I could write a thesis about some media but I could really truly talk for hours about how fucking good Hilda is.

It’s core strength, which tears at my heart and soul so earnestly, is that it is not just a story about child adventurer, but equally a story about the MOTHER of a child adventurer and it’s just so beautiful. So impactful.

I think Johanna may be one of my favorite characters… ever. I think she is Absolutey Incredible.

Season three was just so amazing, the whole series is. I beg y’all to watch it because it’s so so good and deserves all the love it can get.

#hilda #hilda netflix #hilda season 3 #Hilda is so so important to me and I think it always will be #I’ve had a fear for a long time that as I get older I will no longer see myself in adventure stories bc I’ll be too old #bc they’re all written for younger demographics #someone once said something on here about how young ppl are easier to write bc adults get… specific… as they get older #and that’s so true and I was scared I’d lose my sense of adventure in the stories I read #but Johanna proved me wrong and was everything I’ve ever needed #I see so much of myself in her and she means so much to me #I’m gonna be sobbing about this the rest of the night #that and nursing a headache bc I straight up was either hunched forward or actively on my feet jumping while watching this season #god it’s so fucking good gang #and what a send off #that final goodbye. it’s been a year and we’re back and the raven festival and back to sitting on that wall #god it’s beautiful #my ONLY critique is that they fucked up woodman. I’ll expound later but they fully messed up woodman.

[elphael]

Could I ask what constitutes disrespect/bad player attitude at the ttrpg table? (SpongeBob-standing-under-falling-ice-cream-truck.jpg ASK SENT IN GOOD FAITH!!)

respect your dm as they're trying to facilitate the table. they put a lot of work into organizing and planning sessions and it's just polite to actually pay attention to them and follow their lead when they want to get into session.

be willing to invest in the story they're telling and the plot hooks they're putting in front of you instead of running the opposite direction. a good dm is going to want to connect you to the plot and you should be invested as well, it's a collaborative story-- both sides have to do their part.

dice roll badly. i roll infamously badly. try not to let yourself get too frustrated if you're not rolling the way you want to.

you and your players are on the same team. you can initiate scenes to help them rp that character development they want with their character, you can let them shine in a combat against their backstory rival. lift them up and they'll lift you.

try to keep conflict away from the table. conflict is only natural, but constructive criticism beyond addressing a trigger or asking to take a break during session is likely going to kill a session and should be left to when you have time outside the game.

the dm is on your team, they want you to succeed. it's just also their job to set up challenges in your way. you don't need to 'beat them'. wouldn't a game be boring if everything went your way and was easy? let them set up challenges both in rp and in combat and let there be losses, it makes the game more interesting.

also just by asking it shows that you're invested in being a good and pleasant player, which is more others!

#asks #d&d commentary #d&d advice #i assume this is about my c/r critique which is like. tldr largely what i don't like is the way the cast smashes around matt's world and do #take him seriously #which is like. yeah they're friends they'll do that. but it doesn't translate well into like. a productive story imo

[phantomarine]

#phantomarine #webcomic #it's a fair critique but i still maintain that both my villains are terrible #just different levels of terrible who deserve different levels of punishment #and one got too much and one got too little #lesson of the day is: make your story about a villain and the internet will have Opinions

[ofbreathandflame]

im sorry im breaking my anti fast for this bc its literally the most idiotic thing i have ever seen.

"some people hate sjm for the racism in her books"

yeah NO SHIT.

that has always been the point.

thats literally the entire point of being anti sjm posts. thats literally all we talk about in the anti tags. but shortsightedness and an unhealthy relationship with these characters has always blinded y'all to that fact.

you see this is why i could not stomach conversations because you guys constantly make a mockery of the problems in sjm's work and only acknowledge the problems for a 'gotcha' moment. EVERY SINGLE TIME we have talked about how the racism in sjm's work affects the writing of her characters you guys have made it into an anti feysand problem, and by doing that you have willingly separated yourself from the problems in the story. the reality is that the racism affects the way these characters are written -- including your favs. do not dare twist the main message of antis to fit some twisted little point you want to make toward specific blogs. i have been on my last account for over two years and EVERY TIME i -- or any anti -- has talked about the way sjm's racism bleeds onto the text we have been undermine, ran off our blogs, sent hate mail. so yeah it pisses me off to no end to be sent the dumbest post in the anti tags to ever exist. yall do not care about her racism, her misogynoir. if you did, you wouldn't be calling people brain dead for daring to dislike your favorite ship for valid reason -- i.e. the racism. we talked about the complexities of how racist the portrayal of the illyrians were -- and we were dismissed as anti feysand and therefore 'braindead.' we talked about the way women of color and the allusions of FGM (female genital mutilation)-- and we were called anti feysands and then dismissed. stay out of the anti tags -- especially if you are the ones perpetuating these dynamics. i was ran off my blog for discussing these issues for two years. y'all sent hate mail, called me tamlin stan -- called others tamlin stans -- for even daring to discuss the racism in sjm works. that's not even touching the nehemia situation, or crescent city. fuck off the tags. you literally have a blog dedicated to this woman and her racist ass characters, you shoot down any criticism of them because of it, and then yall have the nerve to come into the tags for the some hehe hahah tamlin stan bs??? double fuck off. the anti sjm tag has always been a place for that criticism. always.

addition: and these problems are not just valid when discussing characters you don't like. the illyrians are written to brutes, with the bat boys operating as the 'model minority'. the story justifies the lack of infrastructure, and the misogyny (misogynoir depending on how you classify illyrian women), the lack of progress.

'its a culture problem'

'rhysand has tried, but they wont listen'

like do you know how crazy it is to write a group of people as permanently mentally stunted? to classify their women as nameless entities that our main character can shift in and out of to satisfy her supposed 'man of color' sexually? feyre cosplays as a woman of color for SEX, meanwhile in FIVE BOOKS we've met one named illyrian woman and shes described 'interesting,' but not as pretty as opposed to nesta and gwyn, mor, and feyre who are the prettiest people to walk the earth. that don't sound CRAZY to yall??? these people of color are left without leadership, without infrastructure, no access to a golden city, no access to their high lord, are forced to breed out warriors who live and die without ever getting to enjoy the city of velaris, the house of wind for survivors. all of that so that the maincharacters can live out that power fantasy. its racist. thats what it is. please think consider reading comprehension b4 yall make these gotcha posts because it really stinks of weirdness.

the illyrians are treated like rabid animals by their leaders, by everyone and then the responsibility is on them to somehow progress when everyone is unwilling to give them nothing more than scraps. like there's a real life counterpart to this, and yall arguments are very real and very damaging.

they are written by the author to be a permanent second class deserving of their position because they're minds somehow cannot comprehend any 'progression.' all of these characters including rhysand, feyre, mor, az, cassian, tamlin, nesta say racist things toward them because THE NARRATIVE thinks they're justified in saying them. like the moralizing is wild in this case bc all of them are allowed to get away with it. its not just tamlin or nesta, not just the valkyries (which is an ENTIRELY different scenario btw). like the idea that all of the bad can be ascribed to the 'bad' characters and the 'good' characters somehow don't feed into those racist tropes is WILD. rhysand literally told us -- the reader -- the in the war against slaves and their oppressors somehow it was an equal battle. like?????? somehow 'both sides were at fault' ignoring that one side WAS LITERALLY SLAVES. like can u imagine if someone looked at the Haitian revolution and was like....yeah the side of the oppressors was somehow on equal footing when the other side WAS ENSLAVED? how can u acknowledge this author is racist and then pretend that the racism only bleeds over to the characters you *shockingly* don't like?? yes -- there is a problem with feyre wearing illyrian wings BECAUSE SHES THE HIGH LADY. she made herself that title. of course that carries a different weight. the racism is ingrained in the text, not just some little trinket to flash when you want to moralize bullying a small group of people with strawman arguments.

#anti sjm #anon girl im BLEW FOR YOU #like imagine trying to chastise the community that was literally BUILT to critique the problems #and for what???? #a gotcha to the tamlin stans that don't even exist??? #yall are arguing with air #like i literally just had to delete my blog for this stuff and here yall are #in the tags kekeing like people havent been bullied for it #like yall are the champions for adversity \ #when yall are the ones propagating the nonsense to begin #ew ew #bc then its 'how could you not like feysand' #idk BC OF THOSE PROBLEMS #like did you think the author's bias was NOT going to factor into the way the characters are written? #it became 'pro tamlin this' pro nesta that #like the illyrians are r*cist to the T #and that was ignored for the sake of feysand #yall are real irra #but at least i know that yall understand the problems in these stories #yall just dont care #anti feysand #when we talked about the feyre wing situation yall went out of your way to mock it

[chamerionwrites]

Aimé Césaire saying that colonization works to decivilize the colonizer truly lives in my head rent-free

#this is the essence of the v problematic anticolonial critique in so much 19thc literature (eg heart of darkness) right? #(and also its more modern inheritors eg apocalypse now and the Doing An Imperialism Makes Our Soldiers Sad genre of war story) #it glosses right over the crucial 'systems of rapacious cruelty are bad IN THEIR OWN RIGHT BECAUSE BROWN PEOPLE ARE HUMAN' bit #but in that one limited sense - that cruelty also brutalizes the perpetrators - it is very much the same critique #anyway i guess my brain continues to find ways to circle back round to discourse on colonialism no matter the initial topic #lit tag #no more war #imperialism #imperial violence always comes home #cultures of dissociation #aimé césaire #i am also choosing to tag this #sherlock holmes #as like solidly 98% of the stories in which the murderer is a former colonial officer or official are ROILING w this exact anxiety #(especially the hella racist ones. lol.) #i mean loads of authors in that time period are doing it but i have a tag for acd so. #my posts

[xhanisai]

I think one of the main reasons why I don't go out of my way to follow a lot of people on socials even if I think their art is amazing is because at least half the time, they're shitting on the canon source material and act very big-headed. It happens too often.

#applies to all fandoms ofc #but especially ml atm #i remember i was suddenly being followed by this big artist on ig #and they drew so much pretty marinette art #and i was like okay i'll follow back #and then i see them posting marinette hate in their stories after Kuro Neko dropped #and i was like yo wtf #quickly unfollowed #i don't have time to background check every single artist whose art I like man #i genuinely love ml #with its flaws and everything #i don't mind when people do some sane critiques on the show #and i know everyone will have differing opinions #but my days it is such a pain when a hater comes into the fandom and draws fanart for the clout #and they get praised for it???? #literally 10 years ago i used to follow soooooo many people on all socials #now i have to keep it as limited as possible #no one can enjoy anything in peace