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silverlullabies · 2 years

Text

Always Been You

Summary: Aizawa knows that just because his students graduate, doesn’t mean he stops being a mentor to them. They’ll reach out to him for help and he’ll drop everything to assist, every single time. And then you show up at his door, asking for help that may cross a boundary he can’t come back from. But what kind of teacher would he be, if he says no?

Pairing: Aizawa x Reader

Word Count: 7.4k+

Warnings: Smut (18+), hurt/comfort, teacher/student relationship if you squint, dirty talk, porn with a plot, references to dubcon acts and drugging, afab reader, oral (fem receiving), creampies, Aizawa drinks his respect-women juice daily, social constructs of virginity are fake and toxic but for the sake of the plot Reader believes in them, references to toxic sexual education, talk of human trafficking, panic attack, college boys (because they need their own warning)

A/N: I haven’t written a reader insert in years y’all but I woke up the other day thinking of this plot and it hasn’t left my brain since. I just? Love? Aizawa so much??? But I’ve always had a thing for every teacher in any manga/anime so that’s not surprising. (Kakashi, Urahara, Gojo, Stein??? They just do something for me). Anyway, this really got away from me, especially at the end, but I wanted to end it on a sweet note. I have a small bonus chapter in mind to tie off the (possible) cliff hanger at the end of this chapter.

Aizawa Shoto knows all too well that just because his students graduate doesn’t mean he stops being their teacher. Maybe other teachers in other schools had that luxury, but not him, not in this profession.

He isn’t surprised when he gets emails or texts from students asking for advice and his professional opinion. They taper off the more settled into being a hero his former students become. What starts out as multiple messages a week slowly filters into a couple messages a month into a few a year until all that remains is well wishes on holidays and birthdays.

His coworkers go through the same thing. It’s bittersweet, he thinks, when they no longer send panic filled messages at simple villain encounters and only reach out with greetings instead. Despite them receiving a graduation ceremony and a license; not reaching out at every turn is when Aizawa and the other teachers truly consider their former students as full-fledged heroes.

Some of those students become closer to the teachers. What was once a student-teacher relationship blossom into friendships. Despite how much Nemuri and Hizashi tease Aizawa about adopting all of his students, they’re both just as bad. Nemuri alone has been named God Mom to no less than 8 former students' children and Hizashi is honorary uncle to 12.

Aizawa has always extended an open door policy at school, which for some of his former students, translates into an open door policy for his home. They come to him with wounds that need patched, or a place to crash for the night if exhaustion after a long patrol makes it unsafe to travel further than his front door. A few times, he’s had to work them through panic attacks or episodes of self doubt after a particularly bad fight. Usually if he sees on the news one of his former students involved in an attack where civilians are killed, he preemptively sets out what he knows will bring that particular student comfort before they even stumble to his front door.

Every once in a blue moon, some of his former students (who are all little shits, he swears) will come knocking with no other purpose than to check up on him bother him. They’ll breeze past him once he opens the door, bags of groceries or piles of take out in hand. They’ll mumble a half hearted “I was in the neighborhood” not convincingly at all and set about guilt tripping persuading Aizawa to eat a proper meal with them (because you don’t spend three years with Aizawa as your teacher without learning he’s horrible at caring for himself).

You’re one of them. Despite having been in the first class Aizawa had ever taught as a teacher, you still reach out constantly show up several times a month, the same excuse falling from your lips as you slip past him and into his apartment with a cheeky grin. Aizawa always grumbles as you replenish his fridge with actual food instead of jelly packets before cleaning up parts of his apartment all the while cooking him dinner, filling the air with polite talk and the smell of food that never fails to make his stomach rumble.

So he isn’t surprised when you knock on his door one evening even though you were just over two nights ago. He is surprised when he opens the door to find you standing there with nothing but a file in your hands, face flushed, and gaze averted.

“Y/N,” he grunts, eyebrow raised.

“Uh. F-fancy seeing you here.” Your eyes dart everywhere but his face. This was not the cool confident person that he knew. Your shoulders are dragged up to your ears, the folder held in front of you like a shield, while you shift your weight back and forth on the balls of your feet.

“I live here,” Aizawa responds.

“Right! Right…” you trail off, before blurting. “I need your help and you’re the only one I could think of!”

He looks at you, taking in your uncharacteristic stance, before sighing and moving to the side, holding the door open for you to come in.

After the both of you are settled at the dining room table, cups of fresh coffee steaming in your hands, he clears his throat. “You needed help?”

You jump slightly and bite your bottom lip, before sliding the folder over towards him. He picks it up and begins to flip through it, eyes raking the pages as his eyebrows begin to steadily climb his forehead. “The Commission wants me to go undercover in a sex trafficking ring. There’s been a recent uprising in human trafficking and the ring they want me to go undercover in has a massive influence in Japan. At least 27% of all trafficking happens due to them and another 36% happens through connections with them.” Aizawa grunts, reading through the same information that you were providing verbally.

“This operation has been in the works for years now and my part in the mission could destabilize the human trafficking in Japan and provide us with some breathing room to put some contingency plans in place for the next trafficking ring that pops up.” You tap the side of the mug with your perfectly manicured fingers.

Aizawa let out a breath. “That’s a lot. Jesus kid. Congratulations.”

An operation like that would rocket you into the top 100 easily, if not the top 50.

You hum in reply, a bouncing leg joining the rhythmic tapping of the mug in what he recognizes as a nervous tic. You’ve never been one to be nervous so immediately his concern and curiosity is piqued. His eyes slid to your face over the top of the folder calculating.

“What do you need my help with then?” He asks. If they wanted to bring him in for information or as a hero on the case, why send you and not someone from the Commision? Before he can start processing this enigma, you reach over, pulling the folder from his hands and flip through to the back, taking out a section of the folder once you find what you’re looking for. You slid it to him.

He takes it into his hands, looking down at it briefly to read the information, and then raises his gaze to meet yours.

“Your undercover identity?”

You nod. “They want me to go in as one of the victims. It would be easier and less time consuming than trying to infiltrate as a villain. But sources think they’re subduing them with drugs to make it easier to hold and transport the victims as well as prevent them from fighting back. With my Quirk, I’ll be able to infiltrate easily and find their base or bases of operation without being inhibited. We’re confident they’re bouncing the victims around several locations to make it harder to track. While I’m in, I can tag the locations for a future raid so the heroes can hit them all at once and minimize the chance of escape or loss of life.”

Your Quirk neutralized drugs, poisons, and other toxins on yourself and other people. You were primarily a rescue hero that took care of things like toxic spills, gas leaks, and exposures. He recalls one time a child who suddenly got their Quirk (a simple but powerful ability to change the structure of molecules at will) and wound up turning the air in a grocery store to carbon monoxide, poisoning everyone inside. While emergency workers and other heroes wore gas masks, you simply waltzed inside and gave the scared kid a dose of Quirk suppressants to temporarily nullify his power until he saw a Quirk counselor and learned to control it. All the while you sat there with him in your arms agreeing with him that space was very cool, not at all affected by the deadly gas while you went about ventilating the place. Aizawa could see why the Commission reached out to you for this assignment versus someone else with more experience in infiltration.

“And where do I come in?” He asks again.

“Sensei… I’ll be going in as a victim. I’ll be undercover for a while. Best guess is several weeks, worst is several months. I’m under no illusion that I’ll be able to walk away with my…,” you purse your lips. “… dignity still intact. I’m… not ok with it per say… but I’m willing to do it to save lives. Besides, I've already been set up with mandatory therapy before and afterwards.”

“Y/N… that’s a lot.” Aizawa’s eyebrows furrow together in concern.

You nod your head. “Yeah. But I’m the only one. I can neutralize the drugs and leave me in the right state of mind. Not to mention that bacteria and viruses count as a toxin to my Quirk so I’m at no risk for picking up anything. And I’ve already started on long term birth control. Nobody else can fill these parameters.”

He got that. It sucked, but he got it. “So when do you leave,” he asks, sliding the paper back to you, which you tuck neatly back into the folder.

“In two weeks.” His eyes widen and he sat up straight.

“So soon??”

You look up at him, something simmering beneath your gaze. “For you maybe. This has been in the works for a long time now on my end. I’m only telling you for two reasons. I… uh… got permission to explain it to you.”

His eyes narrow. “Why?”

“The first is to ask you to look after my cat, obviously.” You give him a cheeky grin. He nods, well used to former students asking him of this when missions took longer than a day to be completed.

“And the second thing?”

You avert your gaze again, back to fiddling with the mug in your hands. “Sensei… do you remember the night of the typhoon nearly a year ago?”

He nods, heat rising to his ears. Of course he remembered. How could he forget?

You showed up on his doorstep halfway through a typhoon that hit Japan and effectively shut everything down. The only people out were emergency workers and pro heroes that could handle the rampaging storm and assist in relocation of citizens who’s homes had been destroyed or help them towards hospitals.

He had pulled you inside, soaked to the bone, and helped you dry off while grumbling about how illogical it was for you to be out in this. Despite offering you a change of his dry clothes, you were still freezing, so he got to work on setting up the heater for you. It ran for four minutes before the electricity in his building cut out.

He debated for exactly ten seconds before pulling you into his bed with him, limbs tangled together, while he attempted to rub feelings back into your skin.

All the while, he was hyper aware of how you had taken off your underwear, leaving your breasts squished against his chest, while your legs were tangled together. He fought against the growing erection in his pants, diligently thinking about everything that would turn him off like the statistics of cats that die in shelters year round.

Your shivers die off slowly which leads to your eyes flickering up at him, gaze too wide, lips parted into a soft sigh. “Aizawa-sensei…”

And then he was taking your lips into a slow deep kiss, lips parting slightly. He drew your bottom lip between his teeth, mouth slanted across yours. One arm snaked behind the small of your back tugging you closer, while the other trailed under your shirt, fingers lightly caressing your skin in a way that had you arching, as he settled his fingers under the curve of your breast teasingly.

You sighed under his touch, as he deepened the kiss, tongue darting out. He moved, positioning himself over top of you between your legs. The hand that was behind your back was suddenly cupping your face in a way that seemed to sear your flesh in its intimacy. His other hand cupped your breast, fingers dragging along your hardened nipple in a way that had you moaning, pushing up into him, pelvis grinding into his hard on in a way that made him see stars.

His hands trailed down to your hips, tugging at the waistline, and just as you lifted his hips to give him access, the lights flashed back on, freezing Aizawa in place.

Shame flooded every ounce of his body. Here he was, taking advantage of you when you needed his help. What kind of pro hero was he? What kind of teacher? What kind of friend-?

“I-“ he started, eyes dancing around to avoid look at your flushed face. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He untangled himself from your limbs, unable to fully look at you through his guilt. Before you could even say anything, he was gone.

The next morning you were gone too. You stayed away for several weeks, the longest amount of time for you, to the point where he had convinced himself he had ruined that relationship you had with him. He hated himself for it. Sure, he had thought about you in that way before. Sure, he had had dreams of you before (starting after Nemuri teased him, saying you were always acting like Aizawa’s wife so when was he gonna make it official?) that spilled over into fantasies when he touched himself or even when he entertained other women. But he had never let himself act on those thoughts because he was respectful and responsible. And he didn’t want to risk driving you away. Until now.

So when you showed up a few weeks later, arms full of groceries, breezing in and acting like nothing had happened, he nearly collapsed in relief. And then proceeded to follow your lead and never talk of it again, even if it meant the fantasies became more frequent and intense.

“Of course I remember.” He shifts in his seat, this time averting his gaze. This was the first time you had brought it up.

You brought the mug to your lips and drank deeply from it, before settling it back down between your two hands. “You asked me why I was out in such a storm and I never answered you, but the truth is, that was the day I officially learned of everything this assignment detailed. And because of that I… I wanted to see you immediately. Enough to risk the wrath of Mother Nature herself.”

“Why,” he murmurs.

Fingers tap the side of the mug again as your eyes shifts. “I knew what I would eventually have to do. But the truth is…I came here that night with ulterior motives. Because I haven’t… done that kind of thing before. You were the furthest I’ve ever gone with anyone, that is. And I was willing to go further. Of course your guilt complex and morals had to get in the way of that.” You give him a cheeky grin, before the smile falters. “And in the end I was too embarrassed and too much of a coward to explain that to you at the time. What you must have thought of me… I became convinced you were disgusted and believed I was indecent. Therapy has helped me overcome the idea that salacious desires are wrong, but I grew up in an area where we were taught carnal wants were misguided and bad. So you can imagine the internal war I was waging with myself.”

A blush stains your cheeks as you become interested in the whorl design of the wooden table.

“I’ve never thought that way about you,” Aizawa says in a way that leaves no room for argument.

You smile softly up at him. “I know. You’re much too kind.”

He looks away at that, unable to find the words to say to counter your statement. He swallows hard, his mouth too dry. “So you‘ve never….”

“Had, uh.” You clear your throat. “Sex. I’ve never had sex. With anyone. There’s only ever been one person. That I’ve been interested in, that is. But I’ve never gone further than holding hands. And kissing. But mostly just holding hands. After that night, I tried to find someone else… but I could never go through with it.”

“I still don’t understand what that has to do with your mission…” he trails off suddenly, as he connects the dots.

Oh.

Oooh.

He swallows hard again and straightens in his seat. He gets it now. But he needs to hear you say it.

You bit your lip, continually tapping at the mug with your fingers. “I don’t want my first time to be with some sleazy guy in a dingy back alley room. I want it to be with someone meaningful, someone I trust. Someone I respect and admire and care for deeply.”

“And who is that,” he says, voice lower than normal.

“You,” you whisper, tapping at the mug like it’s your lifeline.

He could feel his restraint failing him and his knuckles turn white with the effort to not… do something, anything. “Y/N… do you know what you’re asking?”

Your eyes find his obsidian ones. “Of course. It’s always been you. It wasn’t until that day, when I became aware of all that my assignment truly entailed, and I knew I needed to be with someone else first so I had that memory not be tarnished by this mission… that’s when I understood then that I’ve liked you for a very long time, when I realized I could think of no one else but you to go to. That there was no one else I wanted but you and that I’ve subconsciously been wanting you this whole time and why I’ve never entertained another man in my bed even after overcoming my views on sex or had relationships that lasted longer than a few dates. It has always been you.”

There’s a blush glowing on his cheeks. He falls quiet and the silence lasts for so long, that with nothing but the sound of a clock ticking in another room and the frantic tapping of your fingers, your mind begins to wander in panic and you slowly begin to doubt, wondering if maybe you’re asking your former sensei too much. You had thought after that kiss that maybe he felt the same way as you, but perhaps you’ve just been deluding yourself this whole time. The silence eats at you and your stomach turns, causing you to swallow and clear your throat. You need to speak now, to salvage this before it’s too late. “If this is crossing a line… if this is crossing a boundary, I understand. I recognize I’m asking a lot of you.” You try not to let the disappointment in your voice show.

You start to stand, draining the last of the now-cold coffee from the mug in an effort to not cry in disappointment in front of him. “Ah. Sorry to ask this of you. I know it’s inappropriate, and I can only hope this doesn’t change things between us. I’ll… uh, get going then. I’ll be back with my cat before I leave. I’ll be bringing her supplies, and some actual food for you too. It’ll be a lot this time- think of it as a prepayment for cat-sitting before I’m able to actually pay you properly. That being said, please clean out your fridge before I come over. I think I saw yogurt in there that expired two months ago, the other-“

“Where are you gonna go,” Aizawa’s voice cuts off your nervous rambling. “If I don’t…”

He trails off, but you know what he’s trying to convey. You shrug in reply, placing the mug in the cupboard after washing it and head back towards the front door. “I don’t know? The bar probably. Any random college kid would take me up on my offer-“

A heavy hand wraps itself around your wrist and yanks, spinning you around and slamming you against the wall. It takes you a second to realize Aizawa’s body is hovering over yours, hands on either side of your head caging you inside. You blink up at him and oh… you recognize that look. He’s angry. Why is he angry?

“A college kid.” He drawls, unimpressed.

You shrug at him again. “It’s my only option and they’ll be better than some sleazy guy in a dingy back alley- ”

He moves closer and your voice dies a swift death in your throat as you can feel his body heat through your clothes. You stare down at his chest, not willing to meet his eyes, suddenly finding your mouth too dry and your palms too sweaty with nerves. A finger snakes under your chin and forces your head up to look at him. Your eyes dart to the side, unable to find the courage to look him in the face.

“Y/N… look at me.” He murmurs. “Please.”

The desperation in his voice when he says please is what causes you to look at him and you something dark in his gaze. The hand under your chin slides to the back of your neck, causing your skin to prickle.

“What kind of teacher would I be if I didn’t help out one of my students when they need me,” He says and it’s enough to cause you to almost laugh and or collapse in relief. “Especially when it’s you.”

He dips his head, kissing you desperate and hungry, pulling you into his arms with a frantic sense of urgency. His kiss is sloppy and needy, nothing like the slow kiss you two shared a year ago. He hands slide down, gripping your thighs and pulls, wrapping your legs around his waist. You gasp into his mouth and his tongue almost immediately pushes past your lips with a swirl.

You kiss back with a feverish frenzy as he walks the two of you back towards his bedroom. His hand snakes up through your clothes, snapping off your bra, and drags it and your shirt off. You break the kiss long enough for him to pull your clothes over your head and toss them somewhere off to the side.

“Especially when it’s me?” You question, panting against his lips.

He draws back, eyes still dark. “Me too. It's always been you, to me.” He echoes your words from earlier and deposits you into his bed, climbing over top of you, while he drags his own shirt off.

Your mouth waters as you take him in. You always knew that Aizawa was fit, as a pro hero he had to be, but his baggy clothes really do hide how ripped he is. He bends his head, teeth dragging along the pulse point on your neck, latching on to the heated skin.

“Tell me if it’s too much and you want to stop. I won’t do anything you don’t want to do. Promise me, you’ll tell me.” He rumbles in your ear.

“I trust you,” you tell him.

“Promise me.” He demands soft but deliberate.

“I promise.” You answer him.

His hands slip down to your waistband, unbuttoning and unzipping your pants, while his teeth nip and suck open-mouthed kisses on your clavicle causing you to shudder. You moan, leaning into his touch, and dear God, nothing has happened yet but you’ve never been so turned on before in your life. Your head rushes at the surge of adrenaline that hums beneath the surface of your skin.

He drags his lips up to your ear. “Lift your hips for me.” You oblige, allowing him to grasp your pants and underwear and rake them down over your ass and thighs. He sits up, peeling them from your legs, and tosses them aside. You stare up at him, body flushed, and eyes wide, suddenly self conscious of the way he’s dragging his eyes over your figure admiring every single inch. You’ve never felt so exposed.

He must sense that because he leans over again, capturing your lips into his, distracting you from your embarrassment while he explores your mouth. He breaks the kiss, scraping his teeth along your jaw, down your neck, and across your chest. He nips and sucks at your breasts in a way that has you aching and rocking your hips to drag against the growing bulge in his pants.

He moans, gradually working his way down your stomach, biting at your hips, before he settles between your legs. Teeth and lips leave marks at the sensitive skin on your inner thighs that cause you to pant and tremble under his touch.

“Tell me if you want to stop.” He says again, looking up at you. You can do nothing but nod weakly at him, breath erratic, heart pounding in your ear drums. Every single nerve in your body feels on fire.

He smirks at your disheveled appearance, before he dips his head and licks a stripe at your glistening cunt. “Oh!” Your voice sounds so surprised, hands flying to his hair immediately, hips bucking up to meet his mouth. Your fingers have never made you feel like that. You need more.

He licks and sucks at your mound, going slow and hard in a way that has your entire body quivering beneath him. You whine, muscles straining, as electricity and heat swirl through your entire body making your toes curl. Every motion he makes with his mouth is molten pleasure seeping through every vein in your body. Just when you think he can’t get any better, he moves in a different way, and the crest of euphoria drags you up and up and up leaving you delirious and intoxicated from the feeling of teetering on the edge.

“Fuck, Aizawa.” You moan, head tipped back, as your fingers dig into his scalp to find purchase, anything to hold on to as he strings your body along hard. He can tell you’re getting close already, and slips a finger in your cunt, pumping it slowly, before dragging another one in. He curls them, finding the bundle of nerves that has you lifting off the bed chasing the pleasure you desperately crave. You fold into him, wailing as you cum, spasming around his digits so tightly, his cock throbs with want and need. He doesn’t stop sucking and fucking his fingers into you until your wails turn to sobs, thrashing in his iron grip as he drags your orgasm along for as long as possible.

You collapse back on the bed, huffing, body twitching as you come down from the high. Aizawa pulls himself up, dragging his pants off in one motion. “Good girl.” He coos, and oh- doesn’t his words just send sparks of pleasure shooting up your spine? Aizawa’s praise always did make you preen.

“That was better than anything I’ve ever imagined.” You breathe.

He pauses and slowly a smirk spreads across his face. “Better than anything you’ve imagined?”

“Yes.” You pant. “Do you think I haven’t touched myself to thoughts of you?”

Aizawa leans over you again, dragging your knees up to your chest, and settles himself between your legs, his cock bumping against your slick folds. He hovers, leaving a few centimeters between the two of you, and looks you deeply in the eyes.

“Still not too late to back out and go have your first time with someone else,” he mutters, wanting to hear you consent one last time before you never get this moment back. This is the last time you can ever claim to be a virgin and he needs to know you’re ok with him taking this from you. It makes you fall for him more to know that despite him not caring about concepts of virginity, he’s still taking this seriously because you do care about it.

You shake your head. “Only you. I want- no I need it to be you. It’s always been you.”

“Ok.” He breathes out through his nose. “I’m going to go slow. We can stop at any time. Tell me if you want to stop.”

“Aizawa, please,” you whine, aching with need.

“Tell me.”

“I will.”

And then he’s entering you, breaching your entrance leaving you both gasping and moaning. The self restraint on him is admirable as he thrusts into you shallowly and slowly, inching his way in bit by bit, ignoring the primal urge to just slam into you so rough and fast that it has you screaming. He wants to do so many other things, wants you in so many other positions, wants to whisper so many filthy things in your ear; but he doesn’t want to scare you away. He’s patient, he has to be, if he wants you to come back for more.

Even though he worked you open, you're tight, so impossibly tight, that he has to grit his teeth against your neck and fight against how much your silky walls are sucking him in too fast and too soon.

He hears you whimper and that has him freezing, eyes snapping to your face. Your eyes are shut tight, hands squeezing around his biceps, as you let out shuddering breaths.

Just as he’s about to ask if you’re ok, you open your eyes and look at him with so much adoration that has him feeling raw and exposed, choking on emotions that threaten to squeeze his throat shut. He sucks in a breath through his teeth when you reach up, curling your arms around his head and pull his face down to yours, whining. “Don’t stop. Oh please don’t stop.”

His mouth smashes against yours, wanting and needy, as you gasp against his lips, your begs tasting delicious on his tongue as he rolls his hips again, sliding the last few inches in. His forehead falls to yours as he moans in your mouth, stilling flush against your pelvis to give you a moment to adjust, stretched out and impossibly full. You feel so hot and warm, gripping him so firmly, that Aizawa rapidly recalculates his worldview, and comes to the conclusion that this is what pure happiness feels like, this is nirvana. He never wants this moment to end, wants to live in this brief period of time forever, buried to the hilt in your pussy that feels like the Gods personally formed it just for him and his cock.

He looks at you, brushing your sweat slicked hair out of his face and returns to the look of veneration. “You’re so perfect, so beautiful. You’re doing so good. Look at how well you took me.” He praises causing your cunt to squeeze him.

His eyes, more awake and alert than you’ve ever seen them, flutter for the briefest of moments at the increased pressure, before he looks at you again. “I’m going to move now, ok?”

You nod and so he starts with a slow and steady pace. You shake beneath him, back arched, chin tilted as fireworks explode behind your eyelids. He watches your face, adjusting his position or depth or speed anytime the look of pleasure starts to turn into a grimace. He wants this to be as good for you as it is for him, doesn’t want to be the cause for any discomfort or pain. Your pants are mixed with moans and you bring the back of your hand to your mouth to muffle the sounds. In any other circumstance, he would pull your hand away and demand you let him hear every sweet noise you make. But he doesn’t want to overwhelm you, so for just this one time, he lets you cover your mouth, to provide an ounce of comfort.

“Aizawa, I-“ you whine.

“I know, kitten. I know.” His chest rumbles. “That’s my good girl. You’re doing so well. Fuck, you feel amazing.” He can feel how wetter you’re getting with each passing thrust, how much more you’re squeezing him to the point where it’s almost painful to not just fuck into you with a fervor.

The growing pleasure is almost uncomfortable for you. You’ve gotten yourself off on your fingers before, but this is a whole new level. Everything is blurring together, swallowing you whole, drowning out every thought until there’s nothing left but Aizawa.

The growing pressure is agony, making you sob, hot tears splashing down your cheeks that he quickly kisses away, as the tension pulls tighter and tighter. You don’t know how much longer it can last, you’re sure the next second, the next thrust is the one that sends you over the edge, but it never does. It builds and builds and builds, the desperation leaving you trembling under his touch, babbling incoherently, lips slicked with drool, fingernails digging into his flesh as each roll of his hips brings you to a new high.

Your senses are heightened and dulled at the same time. You can feel his hands wandering your body, exploring the valley of your breasts, feather light on your navel, and bruising on your hips. His mouth kisses and licks and sucks and bites every bit of skin he can reach. He praises you in words that sound too distant, too far away, too soft to be heard over the roar of blood in your ears. It feels incredible. It feels like too much. It makes your head swim.

“Please, Aizawa, please, I need- I need.” You blubber, willing to offer up your soul to this man for the relief you so frantically chase.

His tempo changes as he moves a hand between your folds, fingers finding your clit. “I wanna spoil you so much more kitten, but I’m not gonna last much longer. Cum for me. I wanna feel you cum on my cock.” He circles his finger once, twice, three times and the thread inside you snaps, finally tumbling you over that edge.

Your arms wrap around his neck as waves of euphoria crash into you, gripping him like a lifeline as your mind threatens to smother you in it. He groans into your neck, hips thrusting erratically, as your walls clench around him, milking the cum from his dick. You’ve never felt so good before. Your body buzzes, head on cloud nine, toes curling, as he rocks a few more thrusts into you to prolong your orgasm. Your whole body sings, amplified by lightning that flutters in your cunt.

Your senses return as the pleasure ebbs away. You’re hot and sweaty, muscles aching and sore, tangled in Aizawa’s arms while he lays beside you (how did you not notice him move?) and strokes your hair. He mutters praises in your ear telling you what a good job you did and he’s so proud, while he peppers your face with feather light kisses.

“How are you feeling,” he asks when he can see your eyes clear and awareness flood back in.

“Amazing, actually. I had no idea I could feel that way. I can see why people like doing it so much.” You smile up at him drunk on the happiness while he peppers a kiss to your forehead and runs his hands up and down your shoulder.

“Good.” He hums, before sitting up on the edge of the bed. He looks at you with soft eyes and reaches out, smoothing your hair down once more. “Stay here and relax, kitten. I’ll be right back with water and something to clean you up with, okay?”

He grabs his pants and pulls them on as he stands before leaving the room. You watch him disappear around the corner and a tenseness you hadn’t known was bound in your shoulders suddenly loosens. This was better than you ever imagined. You feel so fulfilled, so happy, so so in love.

But…

You also feel…heavy? Satisfied and overwhelmingly happy to the point where it makes you giddy.

But you’re still heavy.

The feeling is enough to cause your chest to convulse suddenly from the weight, pulling a sob from your throat that you hastily try to stifle by shoving your fist into your mouth. Something in you breaks unexpectedly and despite fighting to swallow the wails, you collapse in on yourself, white hot tears rolling down your face as you gasp, gulping down spasming breaths, never quite able to pull enough air into your lungs. Dark spots break out in your vision as you try and fail to stop this emotional storm that rolls over you. Why? Aizawa is everything you ever wanted, and you’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long. It’s always been him. So why?? Why does it feel like your heart is breaking?

A hand suddenly slides under your shoulders and knees, pulling you into a broad chest, arm wrapping around your body in a way that makes you feel so safe and protected. Aizawa runs his hand up and down your back, making soothing noises as he works you through your panic attack. A blanket appears in your peripheral, wrapping around your body, tucking you into his large frame. Your sobs start to subside, leaving you with little shuddering breaths.

“I-I’m sorry.” you hiccup, looking up at him apprehensive, worried he’s going to think you’re ridiculous for crying after you two just had sex. There’s no such judgement on his face though, just concern and worry.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He assures you, reaching to his side to produce a bottle of water that he hands you. You drink from it, draining the whole thing in nearly one go, not realizing just how thirsty you were until then. The few seconds the action grants you, allows you to relax against him, suddenly so exhausted from all the emotions you’ve felt since you knocked on his door.

“I- I have no idea why I started crying.”

“Well, what are you feeling,” he asked, tucking your head under his chin. “Talk to me. Maybe we can find the answer together.”

You looked down at your hands, flexing them around the bottle. “I- I feel…” you trailed off, unsure on how to put it into words. “I’m so overjoyed that it’s making me giddy. I’m exhausted from everything that happened but I’m so blissful that I can feel an energy buzzing under my skin despite that. I want to smile so hard it hurts. It’s always been you, probably since the first time I saw you walk through the doors of homeroom all those years ago and expel five people on the first day because they weren’t taking hero work seriously. You were only a couple years older than me, and yet already so confident and sure of yourself. It drew me in like a moth to a flame. I knew deep down, in that moment I would follow you to the ends of the earth. Everything you did was so breathtaking and it always pushed me to be better, to be the kind of person that could someday stand next to someone on your level. I wanted you to be proud of me. It’s why, even when I graduated, even when I debuted as a hero and became established in the pro hero world, even when I was no longer the naive child that wore rose tinted glasses about the world around us, I still came over whenever I could, because I still chased after you, still wanted you. I was captivated- enamored by you even back then. It was love at first sight, I just… didn’t realize it at the time.”

You smile softly, lost in thought. “And now that we’ve done this, I finally feel like I’ve gotten my dream. This is the happiest moment of my life. But…” the smile falters as you drag your hand to your chest. “Right here. It feels so heavy.”

Aizawa hums. “Well first, I’m happy you see me that way. It means a lot to me, truly. Second? I’ve always been proud of you. I’ve always thought you had potential. I didn’t expel you because I saw that, right from the beginning. I always knew you would make a fantastic pro hero, it was illogical to think otherwise. And I’ve always admired you. No matter what happened, you always remained kind and compassionate. I watched you calm down a terrified little boy who developed a scary new Quirk and accidentally hurt everyone around him, by only talking to him. Any other pro hero would have knocked him out, but you sat with him while his parents were treated by doctors and enthusiastically talked to him about rocket ships and astronauts. I guarantee that kid has never forgotten your patience and understanding in that moment. And even though it’s been almost a decade since you graduated, you still continue to show up to check on me. You still talk to the other teachers at UA regularly which means a lot to them. And every time one of your former classmates or teachers winds up injured in a fight, you show up. You say you were drawn to me like a moth to a flame but I don’t think you give yourself enough credit to how truly radiant you are. I think I fell for you a couple years after you graduated when you knocked on Mic’s door, lying horribly about being in the neighborhood, bringing him take out for no other reason than you found out he was injured in a fight and was concerned he wasn’t taking care of himself properly. That type of kindness is rare in this world.”

He takes a deep breath and loops a finger under your chin so you look at him, see the raw emotion in his eyes. “And I’m honored that you trusted me enough to want your first time to be with me. I didn’t take it lightly and I never will.”

Tears begin to mist in your eyes. Your throat squeezes and your nose burns. Oh… now you understand why you feel so heavy. Why you cried hysterically earlier. “It’s not fair.”

Confusion flits across his face but you let out a shuddering breath. “I’ve wanted you for so long and now that I have you, it’s almost time to go. It doesn’t feel fair. Suddenly, I wish I didn’t have this Quirk, that I wasn’t best suited for this mission. I want to be selfish and stay here with you.”

Aizawa is quiet for a moment, because what can he even say to that? To make this situation better. “I’ll be here. I’ll wait. For however long you take. I’ll be right here waiting for you when you come back.”

“I might come back changed.”

“I’m expecting it.” He already knew. At minimum he was expecting PTSD. It’s why the Commission already started you on therapy. This is the part of hero work that nobody talks about and scares him when he looks at new students. He seems them in situations- on missions like this- and it terrifies him to the bone. He would rather expel them than send them out unready for the reality, expecting big flashy fights on TV, only to find themselves mentally broken when faced with scenarios like this.

“It might be a while before I want you to touch me again, when I come back.” You point out.

“I’ll wait until you’re ready. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do.” He assured you.

Your eyes flicked up to him. “Why?”

He studied your face. “Only for you. I’ll wait forever if I have to, because you’re worth the wait. It’s always been you.”

You let out a chuckled sob and lean up, kissing him with bittersweet emotions, full of longing and regret. You memorized the way his lips fit against yours, the feel of his hands on your skin. You want this day to be the moment you thought about during your mission, to push you to keep going when you want to give up. Coming back to him is your new goal and you grasp it firmly in your heart, stubbornly refusing to let it go. He’s the reason you became a hero, the reason you kept going when the mantle was too much to bear sometimes. And now, right now, wrapped in his arms, you try to convey with your kiss that he’s the reason you’ll come back.

It’s always been him.

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theharrowing · 5 months

Text

Say please

Yoongi, accompanied by his best friend Namjoon, attends a kink event at an exclusive club, and he meets someone who is as handsome as he is lethal.

🤍 Pretty in Pink Yoongi x Collateral Taehyung

🤍 word count: ≈ 500

🤍 crossover episode between fics, strangers to strangers with benefits, canon compliant (idol) & not canon compliant (mafia), bdsm, poly, slash, nsfw, 18+

🤍 warnings: an allusion to smut with adult language (thinking about having sex with a stranger and mention of having an erection); Yoongi is a very good boy; Taehyung has a pretty new plaything; Namjoon is just along for the ride (a very good boy on the sidelines); Yoongi is in a new pretty pink kitten outfit; restraints (cuffed to a wooden x); impact play (struck with a flogger.)

🤍 notes: technically this takes place somewhere that won't exist until Reconciliation, but i thought this would be some fun foreshadowing. ugh, i really love these two characters and these two fics!!!

🤍 written for the Harrow's Holiday Cheer Event, requested by @sweetestofchaos 🎈 i love you, my darling Chell!!! thank you for always hyping me up and for being an amazing friend (and an amazing writer!!!) you were the first one to sign up and i wrote this so fast lmaooooo.

🤍 beta read by @neoneunnajimin

🤍 posted dec. 2023

"Say please," Taehyung growls beside Yoongi's ear, causing a tremor of excitement laced with fear to rock through him.

"Please," Yoongi whimpers, eyes screwed shut. His fingers are beginning to tingle from his hands being restrained high above his head.

Taehyung's gruff voice commanding, "Look at me," makes Yoongi gasp and open his eyes so wide he has to blink quickly a few times. Taehyung stands before him shirtless, head obstructing the bright red light that otherwise threatens to make Yoongi dizzy. His eyes are covered in a thin layer of blue lace and the hint of a smile that graces Taehyung's face is so sardonic, Yoongi shivers.

"You're doing great, kitten," Namjoon's soothing voice says from Yoongi's right, calming him instantly.

This was all Namjoon's idea, after all; gaining access to a kink event run by men so powerful and dangerous-looking that Yoongi questions whether they could have ties to the mafia. Taehyung sidled up to Yoongi fast when he walked in wearing a pretty pink mesh and lace kitten outfit and ears, and it only took about twenty minutes and two glasses of neat whiskey for Yoongi to agree to the proposition of letting the man restrain him right here, in front of all the other clubgoers, and invite him to a world of pleasure and pain unlike anything he has experienced.

"Lots of pretty idols like you come in here to be ruined by seedy thugs like me," Taehyung joked as he led Yoongi to the back of the space where there was a lone wooden X waiting for him to get strapped to. Yoongi had a feeling that had to be the case, based on all the waivers and contracts he had to sign, and the fact that everyone is required to wear a mask. He wishes Hoseok would have come; he thinks Hoseok would really like a place like this.

Although Yoongi only agreed to impact play, Taehyung initially offered to take Yoongi downstairs to a private room for a little more fun. "It's my boyfriend's club," he insisted with a large warm palm splayed against Yoongi's lower back. "We have free reign to do anything your pretty little heart desires. Is your boyfriend into threesomes? I bet I could make both of you cry."

Even with Namjoon's permission and insistence, Yoongi opted to begin with something more experimental and less sexual. Foolish of him to think flogging wouldn't be sexual.

As he stands in small pink briefs and Taehyung whips his bare skin, Yoongi tingles with desire. He imagines what it would feel like to get marked up this way while stuffed full of some handsome stranger's dick while Namjoon sits and watches.

And with each gentle strike of Taehyung's tools against his skin, the blood rushes to Yoongi's cock, and he considers asking this mysterious man to take him into one of the private rooms and ruin him a little more. Maybe once they're done here. Maybe after a little liquid courage.

drabbles are such a teeeeaseeeeee but i would have never been able to stop if i didn't end it here. what do you think these two get up to as the night continues? sound off in the notes! 🤍

COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE THE LIFEBLOOD IF THIS HELLSITE AND LIKES ARE SUPER APPRECIATED TOO!!! THANK YOU FOR READING, I LOVE YOU!!!

🎈 tag list: @codeinebelle @dasexydevitt13 @fluffybuns69 @giriiboyy @idkjustlovingbts @mgthecat @moonleeai @m1sss1mp @spookyminyunki 🤍 want to be tagged in everything i write? or just my member x member content? send me a message!

🎈 check out more drabbles from the Harrow's Holiday Cheer Event!

#yoongi x taehyung #taegi #taegi smut #bts poly #bts smut #fic: say please #fic: pretty in pink (make him purr)#fic: collateral #harrow's holiday cheer event 🎁

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beauty-and-passion · 4 months

Text

What Makes the Perfect Gift?: A real Aside (and no stakes left)

As always, thank you for the people writing me every time there is something new SaSi-related, because I don't pay attention to Thomas' Youtube account anymore.

In this case, thank you twice, because I would've never paid attention until 2024, considering I had pretty clear plans for my holidays and they involved:

a Christmas trip with my family

a (hopefully!) New Year trip away from home (hopefully!)

But since my plans were too good, the universe decided "Fuck no" and gave me fucking Covid. So my Christmas plan blew away and here I am, slowly recovering for New Year. Thanks. Great.

So I apologize for taking quite some time to reply to comments, asks and everything else: until yesterday, I still had some fever and was unable to look at any screen without feeling even more feverish. But today I'm better, so here I am, finally watching and writing about this Aside.

I'll admit it: I was quite curious, because in the first ask, the anon told me there was a "video (?)", while the other talked about an episode. Me, being the cynical person I am, immediately thought it was Mr. Sander's new Christmas ad for his new sweaters.

But, to my joy, it was not. Glad to know that Mr. Sanders can do something SaSi-related that is not just an ad.

Honestly, this Aside is way, WAY better than the previous one. The characters' personalities are better, the interactions are better, everything is better. Even the moral and the writing of the episode are better.

Sure, there are still a few things here and there I do not like, but compared to the previous Aside, they're way less. Still, I will mention them all because of intellectual honesty and because it doesn’t make sense to ignore the bad to focus on the good only.

_______________________________

Where the fuck does everyone live?

The episode starts: Logan calls everyone, says they will do a Secret Santa and that "Janus and Remus will join us today".

First of all, I can understand why Virgil is groaning, but why Roman is groaning too? He got Janus for the Secret Santa, so he should already know Janus is joining them today. Otherwise, how was he supposed to give him his gift? By mailing it? I know it's a small inconsistency, but this is a small episode too, so there shouldn't be inconsistencies at all.

Second, Logan talks about Remus and Janus joining them, by saying that "they'll get here" and that "they came all this way to spend Christmas with us".

For me, this raises A LOT of questions because Logan uses the kind of language you would use if your aunts/grandparents come to visit you on Christmas - i.e. if someone who lives far away from you comes to your place.

But these people all live inside Thomas' mind. So how far do these two live? How does Thomas' mind works? And most importantly: is Thomas copying my headcanons about the mind and the Sides' rooms? In that case:

At least acknowledge you're taking inspiration from me, Mr. Sanders. It's not nice to steal ideas without admitting it.

When I said the mind is vast, I also explained that the Sides can move fairly quickly between planes and Janus can even jump from Unconscious to Subconscious in seconds. I also explained that Logan doesn't know how many actual planes there are in the mind, so why should he say that Janus and Remus had to come "all this way" to meet them, if he doesn't know how big "all this way" is?

If Mr. Sanders isn't inspired but he just decided now that the mind is huge (which contradicts his past idea, since he said in the past that the Sides live in rooms and every room changes according to the space Thomas is), at least offer more details about this new idea and think about them. You can't just change your canon and go with it. That's writing 101, you should already know that.

_______________________________

Janus has been replaced by his drunk doppelganger

I explained in my last post why Janus being a wine mom is funny and the reason is that it's subtle. It's not thrown in the face.

So no, Janus showing a massive wine bottle isn't funny, nor subtle. It's exactly what I meant by "thrown in your face".

And this saddens me because... do you remember his introduction? His first episodes? How suave he was? How focused he was on being this mysterious, charming, dark figure?

Ah yes, exactly like he is now: a laughing, bubbling, drunk idiot.

Seriously, does this look like the same character to you? Does this look like the same guy?

I don't know if Thomas didn't know how to handle Janus or straight-up forgot who he was supposed to be. In that case, please allow me to remind you all that Janus was supposed to be the bearer of Thomas' secrets, the embodiment of lies and (probably), the one who hides the last Side. Do you think this kind of figure should act more like a suave, mysterious guy or like a drunk idiot?

And yes, I know “alcohol funny ah ah”, but Janus is the last Side who should be a heavy drinker, considering how much self-control he needs and what kind of jobs he has.

It’s just sad to see such a character being mishandled like that, you know?

_______________________________

Patton's gift and the true Creativity

You know, people blamed Patton for giving Remus an air fryer because "it's the gift you give when you don't really know someone" and bla bla bla... but that's all bullshit and the reason is very simple: Remus is a creative force.

Yes, that's it, that's all you need. Remus is a creative force and to a creative force you can feed literally anything. It doesn't matter if it's an air fryer, a 200$ painting set or a single needle, Remus would've found a way to use all of them. Heck, Patton could've gifted him literal trash and Remus would've found a way to use that too.

Also if you notice, Remus doesn't hate the gift, on the contrary: he's extremely curious about it, he asks what he can fry inside it and when he leaves, he already has plans on how to use it. That's how Creativity works. That's how Remus works. And that proves what a great Creativity he is.

Remus truly is the best character.

_______________________________

Remus' gift and the unexpected wholesomeness

Listen, I'm not biased towards Remus... okay, maybe a little bit. But still, his gift is wholesome and here's why:

it's handmade! I mean, even if it's disgusting, he spent time making it by himself. That proves he cares about Virgil so much, to spend his time making something for him

It's handmade, which proves Remus is a creative force, because what's more creative than making something yourself?

Mr Fuzzy is probably the offspring of one of the Great Old Ones, considering it’s a monstrosity with too many eyes, no clear shape and its real name is something similar to the name of the Great Old Ones themselves

Mr Fuzzy is made with the stuff in the shower drain and that proves it's probably the offspring of Cthulhu because, you know, water

Virgil knows Remus gives a name to the stuff in his shower drain and that's like proof no. #700 they know each other very well

Remus is saving Virgil from Cthulhu, because when it wakes up, it will probably spare Virgil for taking care of its demonic offspring.

And most importantly:

M̶̨̖͈̟͕̰̠̀͑̊̓̍̒̅͠r̸̘̲̜̖͆͗̇͛͑͂́ ̶̼͎̽̓̊͗F̴̫̈́̈́̈́̔͆̀̎̈͘ụ̶̉z̵̧̢̜̖̘̩͒̎͛́͘ẑ̴̺̺͓̩̝͎͙̖̳̓̈́̇̄̈ͅy̶͕̱͔͖̿ͅ ̴̦̼͓͎͕̩̆̓́͑͠͠d̶͙͚̩͇̳̑̑͂͒̂̏͛̏̚ǫ̶̦̘̦̺̣̬͎͐ẽ̷̮̯͚͎̾̽̊̋s̴̛̟̮̻̱͕̗̼̹̭̐̐́̌̋͋̄̈́́n̶̡̢͓̺̔'̵̨̯̤̬̜͇̭̅́t̵̪͛̈̃̐͝ ̷̡̠̤̱͈̳̎͆͝͝͠ḽ̶̚i̶̯̱̙̟̼̪̭̳̹̅̎͋͋̓̊͗̇͛͌ǩ̷̪͘e̷͎̖̦̔̒̿̎ ̵͚̩̄̈́͑̑̾͆̇̒̎b̴̨̛͙͈̱̙̗̰̗̎̀̔̿̎̔͝ẽ̸̡̥̫̂̍̒̋́́̂͘̚ȋ̵̧̛͎̩̫͉̰̋͐̄̈́͊̐̀̑͜n̷̩̻͚͇̰̝̣̠̈̀g̵̺͉̔̈́̊͒̓̃̉̚͘͜ ̶̺̳͓͕͔̱͗͆̓̐̑̚͝͝d̷̬̘͚̘̬̣̭̙̼̃̏̓̾̔̌̀̍̽r̷̛̩̮̞̜̟̐͂́͘͜ͅo̸̧̢̗̝̣͙̘̟͆̀̊̃̉͌͜͠p̵̛̻̠͍̑̅̀́̈́p̷̨̡̖̙͙̥̹̥̞̓͋̈́̽̀e̶̡̳̣̟̖͐̒̾̿̐͝d̸̖͋͆̽̃̐͝

Partially related to that: I have a tiny little headcanon about Remus creating ungodly abominations and naming them like the Great Old Ones (like having a pet abomination called Shubby as reference to Shub-Niggurath). So seeing this little ball of fears and terrors made me kinda happy. What can I say? Somehow, my headcanons are always canon.

_______________________________

Virgil's gift and the problems with it

As soon as Logan proved he wasn't happy with Virgil's gift, instead of adding something more like "But, really, read the newspaper", Virgil kept silent and let Janus and Remus push Logan with their "o-oh, I bet you're angry, get angry".

Was it a reference to WTIT? If it was, then it was a lame one.

Virgil is anxious, fine, but he's not an idiot. And he has a way with words. So, why didn't he say something to make it clearer that there was something in the newspaper? Honestly, when he handed it to Logan, I thought the newspaper was the wrap and that there was something inside it: why Logan didn't think the same? Am I more clever than the embodiment of logic himself?

And, again, why is Virgil such an asshole? Seriously, what if Logan threw the newspaper away? What would Virgil do, then? Show the gift anyway? Not show it? Tell Logan there was supposed to be a puzzle and make him feel guilty (which would've been a huge dick move, because it was Virgil's fault, not Logan's)? Honestly, no idea.

It's just... sad to see Virgil acting like an asshole without a reason. Virgil isn't like that.

_______________________________

Logan's gift and the conceptual value of money

The mere fact Roman asked what he was supposed to do with 20$ proves that:

he's a worse Creativity than Remus

he doesn't deserve money

I already explained why you can feed anything to Creativity and Creativity would find a way to use it, so the first point is already covered.

Speaking of the second one, if I give someone money and they ask me what they should do with that, I would immediately take the money back because they clearly don't know the value of money. Money embodies basically everything and 20$ embodies everything you can buy with them.

So when you gift someone money, you don't gift them a piece of paper: you gift them a paint, a book, a toolbox, a dress, a dinner, a jewel. Gifting money means gifting all the endless possibilities enclosed in the money's value.

In other words, Logan's gift was the perfect hommage to Creativity: since you are a creative force, I give you everything you can have within this value. He literally gave Roman everything! What's more fitting for a Creativity?

The only flaw I can find in this, is that Logan and Roman are not real people, but mental representations, so they don't really need actual money. But if we consider the 20$ as a conceptual gift exactly because 20$ represents the countless possibilities they embody... then they work too.

And speaking some more about gifting money, this is truly the best gift, imho. For years people kept gifting me shitty books because "you like to read". So I had to accept stupid book after stupid book, pile them up, sell them and get the money to finally buy decent books. Instead of forcing me to do this stupid charade, they could've gifted me money straight away.

So my advice is: gift people money. Or gift cards. Or at least include a receipt, so if the other person doesn't like your gift, they can exchange it for something they like more with the same value.

Or, even simpler, just ask what the other person wants. Ask, it’s easier! Your gift won't be the most surprising thing ever, but it will surely be appreciated and used. I know, I do the same with my family every year. And, every year, the gifts are always super appreciated.

_______________________________

Janus' gift and how it was the most fitting one

When I saw the smaller box inside the bigger one, I imagined three different outcomes for this:

there will be an infinite number of boxes inside other boxes and we will see Patton unwrapping them on an even smaller level until he has to unwrap them atom by atom and it will never end

in the last box there will be a wedding ring because moceit is fucking canon

in the last box there will be an actual nice gift

For a moment I really thought we would've seen a wedding ring, but it turned out Janus knows Patton better than his friends - which is not surprising, considering how they keep treating him like an idiot.

And, honestly, I don't find anything wrong with this gift. it's nice, it's funny, it comes from the heart, it's exactly what Patton likes. And it matches Janus' personality too! He appears with something big but it makes you question it, because it’s too light: you assume it's fake, he's lying, he's mocking you. But if you insist, you keep going, see "past the lie", you will find the real gift: smaller than a huge gift, but much more meaningful.

It's perfect for Janus and it's the perfect gift he could've given to Patton. Seriously, I cannot understand how Thomas manages to make the best and the worst decisions about Janus at the same time. It takes a real mastery to do that.

_______________________________

Roman's gift and fuck the main plot

Okay, the bitchslap was funny... until I remembered that we probably won't get any closure about Roman mocking Janus for his name and Janus telling him he's the evil twin. All water under the bridge, I suppose. Glad to know it ended up like this, with a snap and nothing. That’s exactly what I wanted to see, not Roman growing insane, imprisoning Janus and threatening to kill him. Definitely not.

I'm not one to brag but oh gosh, I'm so happy I wrote my own take on the season 2 finale.

About the real gift: okay, Roman gave him an actual gift. That surprises me even more considering... well, POF. But hey, apparently POF is water under the bridge and it looks like WTIT is water under the bridge as well, because Roman isn't angry with Patton anymore. Wow, *so glad* to know so many stakes have been so brutally thrown on the ground like that. Great choice, definitely worth of a good writer.

Also: is this Janus really cold-blooded? Is he? Are you, weird, drunk doppelganger? I'm sorry, but every time I see this guy, I'm so confused by him almost being like the real one, I feel like I need to question him about everything.

_______________________________

How to solve a problem without even trying

Oh, I absolutely *adore* how Logan just goes "Uh, I have a lot of data, hey Roman wanna help? You know, making creativity and logic cooperate? It's not like it's a big deal a cooperation between us".

Ah yes, that's exactly what I wanted to see. Not Logan rejecting creativity because he's unable to see how he can be useful to it, not Remus forcing him to deal with the creative aspect for a little while, not Logan pushing his love for art down to the point he breaks, not to see him breaking down, not to see him slowly learning how to accept creativity in his life and how he can be useful for it...

This is a very, very personal opinion so you can disagree with it, but I find it extremely insulting to see Logan just casually offering a collaboration to Roman. If you read FSS3 you know how long it took me to develop this concept of "logic, art and creativity" and how Logan managed to work alongside Roman and Remus only in episode 13. Episode fucking 13 of 18 total.

For me, this was a HUGE theme. One of the most important because, hey, we're talking about creativity and logic, two of the most important aspects of every human being. This is the essence of humanity. And these two characters both have a lot to learn, so their cooperation perfectly connects with their personal growth...

But hey, apparently that's not an important topic for Mr. Sanders, fuck all of this, let's solve the topic with one single line.

Again: don't like to brag but oh gosh, I'm so happy I wrote my own take on the season 2 finale and the season 3.

_______________________________

Nico is even denser than Thomas

"What's the message?". Seriously. What could the message ever be. Coming from the guy that, when you met him, told you you looked cute and wanted to have a chance with you. The same guy you gifted a necklace.

Clearly the message is "I want to play Scrabble with you on the weekends" and not "I love you, you fucking moron". Clearly.

I don't like to brag, but at least my Nico was much more clever than this idiot.

_______________________________

So... was it good?

It was. It was a good Aside. I even managed to watch it twice, which is a huge improvement compared to the previous one.

The Sides are better than before, they're more IC too - except for Janus, who has been replaced by this weird drunk doppelganger.

The message isn't stupid nor out of the world, but it actually serves a purpose in the story of the episode itself. And yes, I know this is the bare minimum in terms of writing, but considering the last episode, this is WAY better.

The writing is better too, except for a couple inconsistencies (like Roman groaning despite knowing the dark boys will join).

What suffers the most is the connection to the main plot. This Aside supposedly takes place after WTIT (and that other Aside), but as we can see, there are no stakes left. No huge resentment between the Core Sides, no huge resentment between Roman and Janus. Logan calmed as well, Virgil too.

In other words: we reached the same situation pre-Janus introduction. They're all there, they argue and work together and sometimes do stupid shit and sometimes they do not. The climax of the story has been flattened out, to revert to the initial situation.

Did I expect it to happen? Honestly, yes. After three years of nothing and with Thomas being clearly more interested in carefree/comedy videos, of course this would happen.

Do I expect to see drama in the season 2 finale? At this point, I would be surprised if we ever see a season 2 finale. Probably Thomas will wait forever for inspiration to strike and, in the meantime, feed us an endless number of Asides with funnier, carefree topics, so he can enjoy his time and constantly postpone the drama.

Drama requires more work, after all. Drama requires attention, focus, precision. Comedy can be made like this, with a fun video written in a couple days. Drama needs to connect threads and do it properly.

I said it three times already but trust me, it's a huge fucking relief to know my whole take of season 3 exists, because thanks to that, you can see want I mean, when I say things like "creativity and logic's cooperation is a huge topic" or when I talk about how Janus should be handled. My work is far from perfect, sure, but imho, it's better than this. And this is a personal opinion, so you can disagree as much as you want.

(Speaking of that, I scheduled for December 29th my last post about FSS3, in which I add a couple of things regarding the future of SaSi, so... just keep an eye out for that)

That doesn’t mean I am blaming Thomas for making this Aside or for enjoying comedy more than drama. That’s perfectly fine and he can do anything he wants. Heck, this Aside is good too, so I’m not blaming him for that.

The only thing that saddens me is to see how we casually reverted to the beginning, with no real stakes anymore. We’re just… here, enjoying a comedy show. Which is not inherently bad per se, because there are a ton of great comedy shows. But considering what we saw and what SaSi could’ve been… it leaves a bitter taste, to see such great potential being ignored to revert the show's possible growth.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@royalprinceroman @reesiereads @mudpuddlenl@allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia@whatishappeningrightnow @effortiswhatmatters @bella-in-a-bag @doydoune @forever-third-wheeling @payte @hypnossanders @idontreallyknow24 @imcrushedbyarainbowoffical @patton-cake @hereissananxiousmess @purplebronzeandblue @cynicalandsarcastic @lost-in-thought-20 @andtheyreonfire

@riseofthewerewolf @rosesandlove44 @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan @arya-skywalker @csi-baker-street-babes @queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@dracayd-universe @starlightnyx @stubbornness-and-spite @averykedavra @joyrose-fandomer @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing

@thatoneloudowl @grayson-22 @softangryfuckingdepressed @theotherella @boopypastaissalty @nevenastark @varthandiveturinn @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside @coldbookworm @snixxxsmythe @charmingcritter @analogical-mess @emphasis-on-the-oopsie @selfdestructivecat @yangwalkerao3

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #I would've handled things differently #and the great thing is that I can show you HOW #ts spoilers #what makes the perfect gift

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mysticbeaver · 3 months

Note

Regarding your comments about Raven Molisee and Rachel Connor, what do you know about them specifically? Might you share with us?

By the way, what are your thoughts on season 5 as a whole? High and low points?

Can't remember any specifics now, but this is basically what I gathered from reading Raven's deviantart comments from the ancient days (I think it was these two doodle posts, TW blood in the first one). He was concerned the characters were becoming caricatures of themselves and/or acting out-of-character. It seems he voiced his doubts in the studio but they fell upon deaf ears, although at least one person, Sabrina Alberghetti (Sibsy) might have been of the same opinion, judging by a comment I saw. That's all I know really😅 Dunno if @lynyrdsquidward has more info on this (enlighten us professor 😁if you remember any of this old nonsense, that is, haha)

AFAIK Rachel Connor didn't say anything about this topic (most of what I've heard from her comes from those eene podcasts from a year or two ago), although this old tumblr post about Eddy and Bro gave me the idea she might have been on the same wavelength as Raven, in terms of being interested in 'angst' and deeper aspects of the characters' personalities. But you'd have to check which episodes she had a hand in to guess what she brought to the table. On a sidenote, she coincidentally joined the show around the same time as Raven (the holiday specials before season 5 started, and on until the end of the show).

As for what I think of season 5, maybe there is effectively an increase in insane slapstick, perhaps aided by the change to digital medium. Some of the action feels different, but I don't have a strong opinion, there's already lots of debate about season 5 as it is. Generally I might be biased towards the first 4 seasons cause my very vague memories of seeing EEnE as a kid are of the summer episodes. I will say, though, I've noticed that there's something oddly nostalgic about BPS for me, as if I did see it as a kid on TV, some saturday morning... maybe it's just the 'feature-length movie made for TV' aspect of it that feels familiar, dunno. I will say, Rachel Connor was the writer for Smile For The Ed, and I think it shows in that Eddy is an innocent victim for once (and I think Eddy being written as a 'villain' protagonist was sort-of the pet peeve for Raven) It's something to consider, whether you like the episode or not (people compare it to Your Ed Here, but I think it's different, topic for another time). Then you have Fistful of Ed, which no doubt was what Raven wanted to see from the show, at least for Edd's character. A personal favorite is Boom, Boom, Out Goes The Ed cause literally half of the episode is taken by Kevin and Rolf subplot 😁 I like to imagine a full season 6 would have seen more of the other characters on their own 👀

#thanks for the ask!#opinions are welcome on any of these points #ed talk

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elephant-in-the-pride-parade · 4 months

Text

Essay: Post-Holidays, I see my Uncle's "Strange New Girls" Hate Watch in a Whole New Light.

No that is not a typo, that is actually what he calls SNW. And my macho-loving Kirk-fanboi of an uncle has been hate watching it religiously. The last time he hated a Star Trek show (DIS) he just didn't watch it. So this opposite response to SNW fascinates me. He talks big talk about there being too many women on the Bridge and hates on La'an with a particular vehemence, both because she's permitted in Starfleet despite a direct relation to the augments' leader and because she's a tiny lady running security. (I can't separate the more reasonable perspective from the sexist one, the man is both.) At first I took his persistent critiques of the SNW crew as a very straightforward anti-women enmity, until Christmas when he came out with the following bomb-shell.

"We just watched Voyager, you know Janeway: Janeway is alright. She's a good captain."

(Color me shocked we had rage-inducing debates about this in my teens and early twenties)

On the one hand, perhaps my uncle has gotten slightly less sexist towards a female captain over the last 30 years? Doubtful considering the way he layers personal criticisms on the female SNW characters. But on the other, him now enjoying Janeway's show does make me understand his hate and fascination with SNW. It's not about the women on the Bridge at all.

It's about Pike.

I'm sure there are other factors. Janeway's main Bridge crew was almost entirely male. And Voyager was written to try not to offend the sensibilities of men like my uncle (an effort that hasn't worked on him until now). But I also think it's got a lot to do with the two captains' presence on the Bridge, and how each captain is portrayed in their own show. Janeway makes many more aggressive command choices than Pike, by virtue of personality and situation. Sometimes she makes those choices even against the reservations of male subordinates. She stares down the barrel of death on numerous occasions, unblinking. She's often the protagonist in her own show. She changes the timeline to influence her past self and encourages her to make a daring and selfish choice that is applauded and shown to pay off in a big way.

And notably, while she's the first woman to have center stage in the captain's seat, her femininity and portrayal of gender is what I think is best described as micro-managed (One need only look at the dizzying array of styles the show experiments with for her hairdo). She dresses in a very feminine way off duty, but often displays more "masculine" behaviors, especially on duty. She very rarely cries. Outside of expressing anger, flirtation, and curiosity, she is not often overtly emotional. A special note for flirtation: she gets wide license to be flirtatious with everyone from enemy combatants to her senior staff to even her ship when she's trying to sweet talk it. She avoids talking about her feelings at all costs. She can't cook and that's a running joke. In all the ways that matter, she acts like one would expect a traditionally male captain to act, with just enough feminine concessions sprinkled in to keep her from coming off as "too masculine."

Pike is very diplomatic and much more rule-conscious. He's Starfleet's boy scout. He takes a back seat in many episodes as other characters get to shine. When he is center stage the conflicts he combats are very personal. He stares down the barrel of "death" (as he's referred to his future disability) and flinches. His trip to change time is done to tell his past self to step aside, act selflessly and take a back seat to a fate that terrifies him. He often listens to and makes decisions that align with his (largely female) Bridge crew's recommendations. And while he dresses in a traditionally masculine way on and off duty, emotionally, he's shown to be much more traditionally feminine. He cries over a dead horse (My uncle was particularly aghast at that). He cooks and is shown to take pleasure in it, even using it as a tool of diplomacy. He is a sympathetic counseling ear for many of his crew.

He does not get to flirt with his Bridge crew. When he is shown expressing sexual interest in someone it leads to emotional hurt and command weakness (in Lift Us Up Where Suffering Cannot Reach, he becomes aware of his love-interest's abhorrent ethics only after watching her participate in something horrific, which he is helpless to stop. And when Batel gets into trouble with the Gorn in Hegemony, his fixation on her well-being comes off as somewhat short-sighted, and contributes to command paralysis in the final scene). His very close friendship with Una may border on romantic attachment, but there's nothing sexual about their on screen interactions. And his quest to have her accepted by the Federation is one of the only major emotional decisions he undertakes that is shown to have a majorly positive outcome.

In sum I think Pike is shown to be vulnerable, gentle, and craving of connections in a way that is very human, but one that men are not traditionally supposed to be. The themes of his arc center on standing aside for the benefit of others, accepting future loss of ability and death, making peace with a future that doesn't center around you - all messages about moving from selfishness to selflessness. His lack of sexual incentives and behaviors stands out distinctly from how male protagonists typically get portrayed. He's basically anathema to the masculine ideal my uncle's spent his life trying to embody.

I still don't know what reason drives my uncle to keep watching "Strange New Girls" as religiously as he has. But I do now see his fixation on finding fault with all the women on the Bridge differently. By critiquing them, he is deflecting attention from his discomfort with the man in the center seat.

#personal #pike and masculinity #i continue to be fascinated by uncle's hate watch #i will generously leave his hate for the musical episode out of this analysis.#I suspect he might like Batel more than Pike as a captain if I asked him #It should come as no surprise that he also persists in willful blindness to the presence of K/S in TOS fandom

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lestatslestits · 4 months

Text

I’m late for Day 5 of TOTA Takeover, but I couldn’t let the week end without writing a little something from Campbell’s perspective.

Personally, I really struggle to believe that Campbell’s “fake” manic episode didn’t have some truth behind it, which is the basis for this ficlet.

And since this piece references Campbell’s joke just before he is sedated, I think it deserves to be preserved for posterity as it’s quite hard to hear in the show. The full joke, from the play:

There’s this loony! Walks into a pub with his dog and the barman says; “Hey! Nae dogs in here, pal!” But, the loony tells him it’s a talking dog and says, “Look, if I can make him answer three questions, can he stay?” The barman says, “Right, let’s see then.”

So the loony says to the dog, “What is the texture of sandpaper?” And the dog says “Rough!” And then the guy asks, “Who was Scotland’s goalkeeper in the 1978 World Cup?” and the dog says, “Rough!” And then, “Who was the greatest American baseball player of all time?” and the dog says, “Ruth!”

The barman’s definitely not impressed! He grabs the loony by the collar and throws him into the street! He grabs the dog by the collar and throws him into the street!

And as they’re lying in the gutter the wee dog looks up with tears in his eyes and says, “diMaggio?”

I’m going to try to get one more thing posted for Day 6 (although it may be a day or so late), but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy this!

This is the first time in the last several days that Campbell Bain has felt more or less himself, not trapped under a heavy blanket of medicinal fog. He can tell Fergus, doing vigil by his bedside, has been holding onto the question for a while, waiting for this moment, when he finally asks, “So why did you lie?”

“I didn’t lie!” He yelps indignantly; crossing his arms over his chest. “About what?”

Fergus snorts. “So McKenna came to the idea you were ‘acting’ on his own?”

Oh. That.

“Well, aye, I told him that, but it was no a lie.”

“No?” He can tell by the tone that he’s on the receiving end of his friend’s judgment. And while it’s not unkind, he doesn’t like it.

“I had to do something, didn’t I? I couldnae go to Perth.” He had been to Perth on holiday throughout his childhood and hated every second of each trip. His aunt thought good children were quiet and cheerful, and he had never managed to be more than one of those things at a time. “You know I couldnae go to Perth.”

“And I know you’re not a good enough actor for all of that,” Fergus says with a trace of a smile on his face.

“That’s no very nice,” he says crossly. It’s true, maybe, but not very nice. Then, because he can’t help himself, “When did you realize?”

Fergus considers. “I knew something was coming when your da left,” he says after a moment. Wouldn’t have let you do the show, if it was up to me.”

“Traitor,” Campbell says, although it’s primarily in jest.

“But mostly, you don’t like heights. Always telling me I’ll fall, when I’m escaping. Didn’t think you’d have opened that window if you didn’t think, just for a minute, that you might fly.”

He feels suddenly exposed, far too visible. Shifting under his blanket, he pulls his knees to his chest. “Aye.”

“So then why try to cover it up to McKenna?”

Because he needs it to be an act. Not Eddie, him. Because he had thought the drugs were finally working. Because he doesn’t know how to admit that he’s afraid of who he would have become in Perth, that he’s safe within these walls. Because he thought he was better. Because he needs to be better. Because he needs someone, anyone, to believe that he isn’t forever balancing on a knife’s edge, hanging on for dear life to anything that makes him feel a bit more in control.

But he can’t find words for any of that. So he says the closest thing he can think of.

“Because sometimes you just have to look someone in the eye and tell them the truth that should be, instead of the truth that is.”

That’s not bad, he thinks. Maybe he’ll use that again some day.

Fergus seems less impressed, but he doesn’t push. He sits in Fergus-typical silence for a bit, then says, “You know, the joke about the dog is terrible.”

“I know,” Campbell says.

#takin over the asylum #tota takeover #tota #campbell bain #fergus mackinnon #tota fandom #tota fanfic

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ell-arts · 7 months

Note

Come to think of it, I don't think we technically know Pac's full personality all that much outside of being someone who used to be closed off towards strangers according to Sunny when referring to Baby Pac, and also being a glutton too....

Unless I'm just dumb and haven't rewatched the show for over three years by now. :,)

But yeah, do you have headcanons on other things about Pac?

Here's how I would summarise Pac's personality;

Introverted

Friendly

Down to earth (at least Stratos thinks so)

A bit competetive

Hard-working

Courageous

Supportive

Sentimental

Happy-Go-Lucky

Goofy

I guess one could consider gluttony/love for food to be part of his character (he wouldn't be Pac-Man without it) but I'd put gluttonous under a behavioural category rather than personality :-)

Now, as for extra headcanons I have about Pac;

He's pretty good with kids and has a soft spot for them. He likes to make jokes and act like a clown just to make them laugh. We saw him willingly share his food with a young girl in one of the Christmas episodes, and in "Nerd is the Word" he posed with a young boy for a picture taken by the boy's father. Pac also acted a bit like a goof in that instance, probably to make the occasion more special for the boy.

Pac wants to feel valued. He didn't take well to being replaced by Spooka Bazookas for his role in protecting Pacworld. Sure, the biggest reason for this could be that he's gotten used to the fame of being a hero, but I'd like to headcanon that another reason for this is because he had a past when he wasn't valued or seen as important by his peers for being the only Yellow One. Becoming the hero of Pacworld was the first time that most of society saw value in him for a change. Of course, there is a risk that excessive attention and value can get to his head, as seen in "Pac-Mania."

Following up on the previous headcanon, Pac has also grown reserved and introverted because of how he was treated by his peers as a kid, and so he only seeks to have serious relationships where friends and family don't take him for granted.

He hates being played for a fool, or to be given false hope. Pac may be happy-go-lucky and carefree, but we've seen a lot of depth to his emotions, too - there's certain lines that shouldn't be crossed, especially when it comes to his family. In "Happy Holidays and a Merry Berry Day," he didn't take well to finding out that his 'returned parents' were just clones made by Dr. B to fool him into revealing the location of the Tree of Life. And just a few episodes later, in "New Girl in Town," Pac was only willing to give Elli (possessed by Mavis and Pinky at the time) a few chances to be serious with him on the matter of his missing parents' whereabouts. Of course he didn't know he was being deceived, but the moment it became clear to him that Elli was just fooling around on the topic, he walked off and left with a bitter and unhappy countenance.

Pac is a dog person. This headcanon mostly goes off of the fact that Pac and Aunt Spheria have a dog named Uggles. He doesn't mind cats, but generally he prefers dogs. (Which is ironic, since his eyebrows look like cat ears.)

His favourite food is ice-cream and pizza. Yes I know he said in an episode that his favourite is "everything" but I'm sure even he has his favourites that he loves just a bit more above 'everything' xD

#pmatga #pacman and the ghostly adventures #ask #pacster

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randomfoggytiger · 7 months

Text

"Something Approaching a Normal Life"

(Fictober, Day 10)

Prompts from @agent-troi ("Scully invites Mulder to Thanksgiving dinner because it’s close to the anniversary of Samantha’s disappearance and she doesn’t want him to be alone" and "Mulder and Scully try to plan and host a dinner party, inspired mainly by the comedy of errors that is the dinner party episode of frasier...") and one of my sisters ("October in Christmas", "Thanksgiving", and "Signs the movie".)

*****

Mulder had another thing coming if he thought he could squizzle out of a foolhardy trip to the Bermuda Triangle with nothing more than a healthy bruise and a sweet word or two.

Although-- truthfully-- the blame lay more with his loopy bedside confession than any earlier, clear-headed, ill-advised action.

*****

“Thanksgiving?”

Scully shifted her stance, heels rocking as she folded her arms a little tighter. “Yes.”

“With your family?”

This time she focused on the bullpen carpet, lisping out a softer, “...Yes.”

Mulder didn’t know what to say. Everything seemed too polite or too ungrateful.

“I know we don’t usually….”

There were a lot of things they didn’t usually, but holidays were high on the list. And considering the batch of Thanksgivings they’d experienced, always apart-- last year jumping straight from a botched team building seminar into small town shenanigans, the year before that caught up with Krycek and Congress, the year before that strung tight between secrets and diseases carted around in explosive train cars, and their first ever one nearly spent in volcanic quarantine-- broaching him to celebrate this one was…

Unexpected.

"Are you... sure, Scully?"

“Mulder….” Scully stepped a little closer, craning her head back further. Utterly baffled. “Are you… shy?”

Sometimes he forgot that his five-foot-almost-nothin’ partner had his number from day one. “I think a better word would be hesitant. And,” he rushed on, “not without precedent.”

She was smiling too smugly for him to continue pursuing whatever point he was trying to make. “Christmas in October didn’t count then, Mulder, and it doesn’t now.”

“‘Well, that’s another opinion--’,” he mush-mouthed.

“‘And I respect it’, yeah.” Scully leaned even more forward, eyebrow pushing its customary way up. “Are you coming to Mom’s party, or do I have to tell her that you refused a personal invitation to sit at home in the dark?”

Maggie Scully already knew about his lonely, isolated couch nights-- far more than Scully herself was aware.

Mulder couldn't bring himself to ruin her Thanksgiving, too.

*****

Twelve hours later he and Scully were setting out dinnerware while studiously trying to ignore the escalating toddler meltdowns howling behind them.

Her mother's house was packed, sardines of all shapes and sizes amiably chatting, swapping stories, or helpfully guiding the endless schools of Catholic children with admonishments and head pats (though he was amused to notice which cross wearers scowled at each other over unspoken but blatantly different opinions on birth control.) It had been subdued, pleasant even: Bill hadn’t taken the easy Mulder bait, Tara had darted here and there after Matthew, and various faces swam curiously in and out of their bubble to acquaint and chit chat. It had been easy to navigate strange waters-- Mulder kept an aquarium at home, after all.

The problem started when one little tyke fell backwards against his sister or cousin (or an unholy mix of the two), a loud smack resounding mere seconds before both burst into tears. Then the other children got caught in the emotional tow; and the chaos spilled over until most of the room was either screaming or consoling.

Scully practically fled the scene, Mulder following in her wake. And now they were setting an already set table together.

When everyone's emotions began to settle and calm, Scully apologetically sighed. He waited, knowing there was more.

“‘Christmas in October’.” She ruefully smiled. “How do we do it?”

“It’s part of the job-- the unexplained finds us.” Neither mentioned there wasn’t much unexplained in their current scutwork. “But…” he paused, letting her sweat a bit, “despite a few…”

“‘Unexplained’ things,” she filled in, flatly.

“--happenings--,” he supplied. She snorted at his exhaustless ability to grab for the last word; and he rewarded it with a soft shoulder tap. “--I’ve been having a whale of a time.”

*****

The post-turkey tryptophanic haze loosened up Mulder's subconscious mind enough to make a few gnarly connections.

Tomorrow, November 27, 25 years. Black Friday.

He looked across the room, locked onto Scully’s eyes and waited until she met his. They immediately confirmed his suspicions-- a good liar his partner was not-- and blinked with indecision, one lash closing faster than the other. But it never took Scully long to recover her footing: she let something like pride (and a sentiment that matched his black and blue cheek) take shape and sparkle at him before ducking away.

Mulder knew her own haunted holiday was coming up soon, ghosts hovering around every corner. He’d have to find a way to return the favor.

“Who ya gonna call?" he sang under his breath. "Ghostbusters!”

Bill, walking by with three of the messiest children over five Mulder had ever seen, scowled at him.

Muzzily, he decided relaxing via tryptophan might work if the tv ever went kaput.

*****

Maggie packed her favorite invite two large to-go containers (one filled almost exclusively with sweet potato pie) and waved off his half-hearted volunteers to clean up. “Fox, I wouldn’t dream of having a guest help out. And Dana’s your ride home, so you two better get going.”

Taking one last look at the aftermath, Mulder understood now why his mother had kept celebratory dinners intimate or large gatherings outside during respectable daylight hours.

He drove on renewed energy from his doze while Scully picked at something she called a cheerio salad and he called a marketing gimmick.

“You know, Scully…” he mused, waiting for her assenting hum, “I think tonight went well.”

“In what world,” she scowled, digestive funk breath spilling towards him in a huff.

“Nothing bad happened. No major damage was done. I even have a fan club.”

“Mulder, Uncle Moses taking one look at you, running over, and having the nerve to be naively disappointed that ‘the jury’s still out’ on your ancestry does not even begin to cover tonight.”

“And then he sat for thirty minutes listening to swamp monster stories."

"He thought you starred in a nonexistent movie called 'Signs', Mulder."

"What I mean, Scully, is that there were good people tonight. Good food, even. Better than my usual fair. It was-- it was nice. Thanks for inviting me over.”

Mulder suspected she was smiling, widely, relieved and touched. “Any time, Mulder.”

*****

Over the holiday weekend, he got a call from Area 51.

Christmas plans would have to wait.

*****

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023 and @fictober-event

#txf #fic #Fictober #2023 #Day 10 #mine #“Something Approaching a Normal Life”#Mulder #Scully #Thanksgiving #Samantha Mulder #Bill Scully Jr.#Maggie Scully

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

Text

Today is Day 185: What This Line Means for El's Letter to Mike at the Start of Season 4

I know a lot of fans are convinced that the Duffers are careless since they 'forgot' Will's birthday. But I assure you… they’re not.

There's zero doubt in my mind that the writers have a calendar which they refer to religiously, especially when making decisions about the timeline for the story.

Literally every season starts with a date to establish the setting. Do we think they just settle on a date, without referring to any sort of notes?

There’s a basic responsibility there, at the very least, to be aware of what the characters would be doing at that moment in time, based on what generally happens during that time of year. This would require research beyond just picking a date and slapping it on the first episode of the season.

Is it Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter? What events are likely to take place during that time of year and how do they plan the expectations of the setting around the characters and the story itself? That's all intentional and well thought out. There’s a reason every season is surrounding some sort of holiday/event at some point, and it’s because time is very very important in the world of Stranger Things.

Think about the various times they’ve had characters literally countdown events?

Mike with El in s2? El with Mike in s4? Suzie when referring to Dustin’s birthday in s4? They wouldn’t throw out lines like that if they didn’t do the math at least once themselves.

The ‘353 days’ line is one perfect example of the Duffer’s proving to us that they have access to calendars, calculators or even simply, google.

Look at that! It appears when Mike used the walkie to call El on Halloween of 1984 (October 31st) in s2, it had indeed been 353 days!

What makes this detail so so so so so fucking important, is that this might hold the answer to the murkiness of the s3 ending going into s4.

Because as of now, we don't really know when s3 ended exactly.

But the similarities of s3's ending to previous seasons, might help us figure out that answer...

Every season ends with a vague timestamp for the literal ending; the epilogue. They only offer up the date at the start of the season, but when it comes to the ending, they never do. It's always months or days if we're lucky.

For s1-2 we got a vague 'one month later', for s3 we got an even more vague 'three months later' and for s4 we surprisingly got something more specific, with 'two days later'.

I think the reasoning for this seems complicated, but it's fairly simple.

While it is quite commonplace to give exact dates at the start of stories, to set the scene and everything, there's this agreed upon understanding in film and even books arguably, that also providing an exact date for the epilogue feels a little cheap? Or maybe a bit too 'handholdy' is a better word? I could see that being something an amateur would do without realizing it looks tacky.

I also think it allows the writers to be more vague in what exactly the date is for the end, according to the audience at least. Because they 100% know what the date is on their end, but that doesn't mean they have to reveal it to us.

We don't know when s3 ends exactly. We know that the battle at Starcourt ended on July 4th-5th (respectively). Though we also know that based on s1's timeline, Mike's countdown considered El's death to be the morning of November 13th, and so we can presume perhaps that s3 technically ended on July 5th.

And so the s3 epilogue being 'three months later' would bring us to October 5th, 1985 right?

Well, not exactly.

You see, when the Duffers give us their vague epilogue scenes, they're not saying that it's exactly one month or three months later, to the exact day. They're being intentionally vague.

Season 1 ending says one month later, but it's actually been 25 days.

Season 2 ending says one month later, but it's actually been 40 days.

Season 3 ending says three months later, but it's actually been... well we don't fucking know!!!

BUT I don't think it really matters, because if the Duffer's made an effort to do the math correctly for their 353 days line in s2, then it's probably safe to assume they'd do math for their 185 days line in s4 as well? And to also give us the answer to that question somewhere in the show already, as opposed to throwing out some random date seasons later?

Otherwise why have countdowns like that at all? It literally makes no sense for them to give us an exact number, like 353 or 185, without checking that the days match up with the exact countdown they're giving us.

I'm just one fan, and it only took me maybe 3 google searches to figure this out in a matter of seconds. They are however literal experts in their profession, and for that reason I do feel comfortable giving them some credit here.

So now, let's try to apply this logic then to s3.

Perhaps it's safe to assume that El's countdown didn't start when the Byers moved to Cali in the s3 epilogue, just like Mike's countdown didn't start at the end of the s1 epilogue either.

It's believed that the Byers, but El specifically, had to go into hiding after the battle at Starcourt. And so, could this mean that El's countdown started on July 5th?

The day that Hopper died? The day she lost her powers? The day she had to go into hiding and probably couldn't properly communicate with Mike for about three months?

Honestly, I think it would make a lot more sense to have their countdown's (Mike's 353 vs. El's 185) parallel in how they started.

And it would be weird to restart that countdown simply because they reunited for one afternoon to move, again because there was obviously so much significance to everything that happened on July 5th, that it does make sense to me that El's countdown would have started there.

Also, I want to be thorough by mentioning that, the main reason we can easily rule out the Byers move date being the start of El's countdown, is that it doesn't add up whatsoever.

El saying it has been 185 days since the Byers moved, would mean she was writing the letter on April 7th, 1986, which is impossible. (Also Mike's birthday, which is hilariously ironic).

Even if we spread out that three month window, we still have to take into account that if it was closer to two months or four months, they would've just said that instead. So either the Byers moved on October 4th, or sometime between September 5th at the earliest and November 5th at the latest.

And so where do we go from here?

Basically, from what we understand in canon on the show, there isn’t much to go off of besides that. And I think that’s the intention.

Over the seasons, the obscurity of the time jump between the epilogues has allowed for them to say obscure comments between seasons, such as, Yeah for like a month (Jonathan in s2) and It’s been a year, Mike (Will in s4) and so they obviously like this appeal of the audience not knowing for certain. But that doesn’t mean they don’t know for certain.

I would argue they have to know for certain, and have very likely done the math at least once or twice or ten times, especially because as I mentioned, there would be no reason to have characters countdown to the exact day, on multiple occasions, if the creators/writers or literally anyone involved with the show wasn't checking to make sure those numbers added up correctly.

And so, based on all of that, I think that El started counting down from the day they separated, just like the previous season, which would’ve been July 4th-5th (respectfully).

And so 185 days after July 4th-5th, 1985, would be January 5th-6th, 1986.

Just work with me here. Because while there are several things that could work against this theory, I think those things could have intentionally been there to trick the audience into thinking this letter was written very close to spring break, even though the math for that doesn't add up. And so lets look at some of the details that might be telling us this letter isn't as recent as we're being lead to believe.

The main detail I want to mention, is that major projects like the one El describes in her letter, requiring a visual aid, is more likely to be assigned at the start of the trimester.

If you don’t live in the United States, or are unfamiliar, basically how it tends to work for most high schools is the school year get’s split into 3 trimesters. The 1st trimester goes from September-December, the second goes from January-March, and the third goes from March-June. It varies depending on the city/county/state. Though it may not seem very equal, it goes like this to accommodate the major holidays with extensive breaks. The first trimester has Thanksgiving then a brief return to school, followed by Christmas/New years. The 2nd trimester starts right after New Years, and ends with Spring break. Then once you return afterward Spring break, that’s the start of the 3rd trimester. It evens out to each trimester being about 3 months.

I think El would've mentioned this assignment to Mike closer to when it was assigned and not right before she was turning it in. And the reasoning for this is kind of obvious but understandably overlooked.

While most kids would probably not think about working on a project like this until the last minute, because most of us are expert procrastinators after almost a decade in school, El however is completely new to this experience. And so I imagine the moment she heard about this assignment, she was just like 'best get to it!!'! We even see her still working on it after the project was already graded because the significance of it was clearly important to her. And so if her and Mike were writing somewhat consistently as it appears, then this would have been mentioned a lot sooner than her most recent letter to him.

And when it comes to the rest of the letter, there are several clues that could also support this theory that it wasn't written as close to spring break as we're being lead to assume.

Like the mention of Joyce's new telemarketer job. It wouldn't really make sense for her job to have been like super new, within the last week from March 22nd, especially if it's intended to be this sort of deterrent for Mike getting ahold of Will on the Byers phone presumably since the move.

Also Jonathan's car, is looked like it had been deserted there for a long time, not a matter of days or weeks, but possibly months (since early winter)... And so Argyle driving them to school wasn't something that happened within the last week worth mentioning to Mike right before their reunion in her most recent letter, but most likely another detail she mentioned as an update, since Jonathan's car is being referred to as still broken.

Even separate from the letter, I wondered if there was evidence somewhere else that they could sneakily be trying to hint to us that this is actually being written early in the Winter trimester and not the very end. Then it hit me.

The lyrics in the background...

Although, there are some things that contradict this theory, again I think those details were put there for the sake of tricking us.

Like just think about it, if this was El's most recent letter, wouldn't it make more sense for her to mention both the countdown for when they last saw each other, and how many days until they'd be seeing each other if it was really that close? Unless of course that number of days until their reunion was still too high at the time for her to hype it up, assuming she was writing this letter, perhaps 1-2 months out?...

I also do think that it's likely Mike and El are quite active in their writing back and forth. After all, Will said El had like a book of letters from Mike, so they want us to think that they wrote a decent amount.

I'm guessing the conversation was casual and broad for this letter specifically, because El is still new at writing/reading obviously and because this letter was also being used to update the audience about the characters whereabouts since we last saw them.

This might not seem that groundbreaking, but what this theory boils down to, is that s4 opened with an old letter, not a recent one. It means Mike was reading a letter, possibly from as early as January, 2 months previous to present. This would mean Mike presumably had other, more recent letters available to him to look at, with countdowns like 20 days and 10 days or 5 days, with El gushing even more intensely over the fact that they're closer and closer to finally reuniting.

And yet Mike was fixating on this letter specifically the morning before their reunion, AN OLD LETTER!!

But why?

Let's again look at the vibe of El's letter. If you look really close, it comes off like a response to a questionnaire.

I've always said that although El's lied a lot in her entire letter to Mike, there's a reason they never let us see a letter from Mike to El, and it's because he probably wouldn't have faired much better.

I don't even think it's actually that Mike would've lied necessarily, as much as I think it was mostly a lie of omission situation.

He showed up in Cali as his inauthentic self, and so it wouldn't make sense for him to have given El updates on Hellfire in his letters, which was pretty much all he focused on back in Hawkins from what it looked like.

And so I think the letter he wrote, which El was responding to in that specific letter, was Mike focusing on asking her questions about how she was doing and how the Byers were doing. It's also probably the last time he asked about the others because of one specific detail he got that time, which he's been fixating on ever since... (you know the one...)

Regardless, Mike was reading an old letter, which makes the implications of this (and this)... astounding.

#stranger things #stranger things theory #stranger things meta #byler #timeline shenanigans #there's specific details that contradict this theory #i don't want to list them out because then i feel like ppl wont open their minds to this theory at all #but if you do want to discuss them in reblogs i would be happy to because i do think there are contradictions there #but i also think that all it would take is some context to explain it #or again the reasoning that they wanted to confuse us in the first place which is why certain spring elements are there to trick us #but all in all yes i think mike is rereading an old letter #bc like why couldn't he instead read a letter that says see you in 2 weeks or 1 week or 4-5 days?#but instead we get #it's been 185 days!#and that's it...#and so mike's probably choosing this letter specifically because of the will mention i'm guessing...#it's likely after getting a revelation like this mike refrained from mentioning will ever again in a letter to el #we know that he didn't even ask will about the girl when they reunited ever at any point #which means he probably fears knowing anything more because it will make it all more real #there's basically a shit ton of implications that come with mike reading an old letter and us not being clued in on that until later #what makes this theory even more funny is finn choosing #This Is The Day #for the song he would add to his 80s mixtape #the cast was asked this question during the puppy interview segment during s4 press #and that song.... is so early s4 mike wheeler coded #like finn is known for his knack for music and it's widely speculated he takes hinting at his character with music seriously...#and so yes i hate finn for that because he is a fucking icon #still just a theory! don't come at me!

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