#choose your own adventure!

[knifemartin]

Choose Your Own Adventure!

Barnes wakes silently and urgently, his body alert but still as he listens to the room around him. He's been woken by someone in his room, and so long as they don't know he's awake he has an advantage. 

There's a bump, a muffled swear, and Barnes relaxes: just Carter. 

Although, just Carter might not be entirely reasonable. It's the middle of the night, they're in Barnes's room, and Carter's trying not to be caught. Barnes frowns, opening his eyes. 

His room is still dark, Carter little more than a vague shadow drifting past, but it's enough for Barnes to know where to reach for. He does so, hand shooting out to grab at whatever part of Carter he can reach, and Carter positively squeals. 

"Fucking fuckity fuck fuck," Carter shrieks, completely unoriginal with his expletives. Barnes knows his judgment is tainted from his years living with sailors, but c'mon. 

"What are you doing?" Barnes asks, hand still gripping Carter's thigh. 

Carter hesitates, and it does nothing to reassure Barnes, especially not with his next sentence. "I didn't mean to wake you, go back to sleep."

Barnes lets go of Carter and squints up at him in the darkness. 

"Yeah," he says. "Not gonna happen."

Carter hesitates again, and it's gotta be a testament to their growing friendship, because he sighs and gives up. "Your window has better roof access." 

Barnes- Barnes doesn't know what to make of that. "My- what?" 

"Your window has better roof access," Carter repeats. "Than mine." 

Which means Carter has done this before, which means usually Barnes sleeps through it. He doesn't like that as an idea, not at all. 

"Stop it," he says. "Go back to sleep."

He still can't see Carter, but he can imagine that frown of confusion, the pinch of his brow and the pout to his lips. 

"Why?"

*the poll didn't warn me it would cut answer #2. it's meant to say Walk him back to his room

#rqg barnes #choose your own adventure! #cyoa

[nokingsonlyfooles]

This is a Poll! I Will Eventually Get to the Poll!

Conversational drift is a thing and if you got someone who's drift compatible, you hang onto that person for life.

So, the spouse and I were discussing how the word "subwoofer" is wasted on an audio device and it should instead refer to some kind of discreet toy that give deep bass vibes, perhaps via blue whale noises. That's not what I'm gonna ask you about, Tumblr, that is objectively true.

No. Somehow we decided Yassified Mrs. Tweedy from Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget has real dom energy and her next conquest would be El Pollero himself, Gus Fring - if only he wasn't gay! El Pollero is Mrs. Tweedy's impossible dream! In fact, once he finds out about the chicken collars, he might try to seduce "what's-his-nuts, in the chicken suit" away from her. "Mr. Tweedy II," I ad-libbed, (It's Dr. Fry but I had to look it up.) "has it never occurred to you to to sell these happiness collars to people?" And then, in a goofier voice, "But they're chicken collars, they're to make chickens happy..."

And the spouse says, "I don't know how to make people happy!"

If I'd been drinking water I would've done a spittake. "WTF, are you adding emotional depth to this? Oh, my god. That's a fic!"

"It's a crack pairing. It'd only hold up for a thousand words or so..."

"No! Are you kidding me?"

"100k, slow burn romance?"

"YES!" A pause. "In the spirit of that game where you buy three items to freak out the cashier, the only fic I have on AO3 right now is the WTYP one. WTYP fights Gozer, a slow burn romance between Gus Fring and whats-his-nuts in the chicken suit, and what's the third one...??"

After some discussion, I admitted, "The one I really wanna do is Bartleby the Scrivener as a Seinfeld episode... And maybe in the B-plot Kramer does The Tell-Tale Heart."

"Wait, is Kramer the killer or the victim?"

"The killer? I dunno, we need him for the next episode..."

Anyway, we decided Kramer gets a Furby and he's taking it everywhere and Newman's real annoyed with it, but he needs to sneak into Kramer's room while he's sleeping and steal it without setting it off. A cursory internet search suggests that Furbies and Seinfeld did share a brief moment on this planet, so this would've been one of the last episodes, perhaps a lost finale. ...In which case I would be free to kill whoever I like!

But, okay. I'm done with my next six-pack and I'm not going to publish it until I can illustrate. My eyes are putting me on indefinite hiatus. But I can write! So, if I get real bored... And I'm not saying I will, 'cos I got a lot of eye exercises to do and ATM they get me real tired and useless. But IF I get real bored, and if this poll strays across your dash, and you decide to care, do you wanna see:

Option 1: A slow burn romance between Gus Fring, from Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad, and Dr. Fry from Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget, guest starring Yassified Mrs. Tweedy. I can't promise you 100k but I will take it as seriously as I can.

Option 2: An episode of Seinfeld where Elaine details her investigation of her new coworker Bartleby, George tries to get out of work by saying "I prefer not to," and Kramer and Newman do The Tell-Tale Furby.

And if you feel moved, go ahead and steal. I think our takes would undoubtedly be unique, and it would be hilarious if someone clicked on a tag and found MORE THAN ONE.

#poll #fanfic #chicken run #chicken run dawn of the nugget #breaking bad #better call saul #seinfeld #bartleby the scrivener #crack fic #crack pairing #writblr #writing ideas #choose your own adventure!

[jaysworlds]

Trick or Treat!!

hello!! you get

SKYRIM MAN

#i dont know if this is a trick or a treat #choose your own adventure! #asks

[the-sinkmire-symphony]

Alex snuck through the wasteland, before coming across a small road, and seeing eight different mutants, all pulling enormous bags on their backs, walking forward, with bizarre, blinking red collars on their wrists and necks. A man in heavy-duty powered armor seemingly guiding them. Alex lived in the wasteland long enough to know what he was seeing, pack mutants, just a polite term for enslaved mutant. The mutants were seemingly singing a bizarre tune as they walked forward, if they tried to run, those collars would violently detonate.

The mutants sung a tortured symphony as they marched

One step, two step, three steps more, pass a long a couple pounds and fall to the floor. As the tempest of the heat descends and the sandstorm rends all the flesh you had left, pass a couple pounds and hope for a peaceful death. One ton, two ton, three tons more, as you fall to the floor forget the puzzles and lore, as you get to the door. Forget the scrap, it's all crap, you're a lapdog, spare the weight, pass it on, don't be a hog. Ignore your bones singing and ignore your ears ringing, ignore the mercury drilling into your bones, ignore the dolorous bell coming straight from hell, as the you fall to the floor pass a long a couple pounds more.

The group was clearly suffering, so Alex had to think, what should he do? Try to free them? Walk away? Or for a more stealthy option, try to use what little money he has left to buy the pack mutants and free them afterwards?

#choose your own adventure! #post apocalyptic role playing #writing #worldbuilding

[theartofmadeline]

lil 16 page zine that i made at the coffee shop this weekend! a sort of pick your path style mini game, because i love wizards + interactive fiction. hope you get out of the wizard dungeon!!

#Illustration #art #zine #wizard #choose your own adventure #pick your path #wizardcore #wizard posting #mini game #interactive fiction #artists on tumblr #digital art #theartofmadeline #solo rpg #comic #ttrpg #gamebook #cyoa #escape the wizard dungeon #rpg zine #game

[ormymarius]

⚔️ — no. better luck next time!

💉 — you bled out after being stabbed by the killer ): rip

🪓 — congrats. you’re the final girl!

🔪 — the killer gutted you like a fish

⛓️ — you’re the killer and you killed everyone :) congrats?

🪦 — you survived but the killer has driven you to insanity

#made the emojis on theme this time let’s see how it works out #these polls are fun to do lol #choose your own adventure #horror #slasher #polls #poll #tumblr

[haridraws]

The Great Library: illustration for Into the Tower (x)

#choose your own adventure #dnd gifts #into the tower #fantasy books #also i love it when people tell me they bought this for friends as a gift or read aloud to their dnd group....... thank you...... #art #my art

[myosotisa]

‖ tags: smut, somnophilia, size kink, p in v, praise kink

‖ word count: 380

the two of you have had sex 3 times and you've never been able to take all of him because you just get too in your head about how huge he is. he's so patient with you, never rushing you, prioritizing your comfort over anything else. making suggestions to try to make it better, or saying he'll just fuck you with half so it doesn't hurt you, or that the two of you don't have to do anything at all if you don't want to.

you feel bad, self conscious, slightly ashamed, apologetic. he assures you it's more than fine, sex with you is amazing even if you can't take all of him. but. he knows it's all in your head. he knows your body can take it. he asks if you trust him and of course you say you do.

you wake up on your stomach, naked from the waist down and your shirt rolled up to your armpits. it's hot and sweaty and disorienting but holy shit what is that feeling?!

"there she is," he says in a deep voice, rough from how quiet he's trying to be. "good morning beautiful"

you go to say good morning back but it's cut off with an unexpected moan, a feeling deep inside you shifting. "feel that?" he murmurs, sounding a bit cheeky but so utterly pleased. to make his point more clear he rolls his hips, adjusting his thick cock inside you, and holy fucking shit he's balls deep.

"knew you could take it, baby," he says proudly when you gasp, fingers twisting in the sheets beneath you. he pulls back an inch or two and pushes back in, your back arching as you let out a choked moan. he's so deep, you've never felt anything like this before.

"just had to take your big, nervous brain out of the equation. knew it the whole time - your pussy was begging for it, crying for it. and now you're soaking me, sh-iiit, like you were made for my fat cock," he groans, continuing to slowly shift in and out of you, your muscles clenching around him on each drive forward. "so fucking perfect baby. just keep taking it like a champ and I promise to make you feel so good you'll never worry about me fucking you like this ever again."

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things smut #reader insert smut #didnt mention a name but you thought of him didnt you #choose your own cock adventure #myos ideas

[mrsrookhunt]

*Rook, Vil, and Epel walking down the hall*

Rook: Would you two spare me a moment? I need to make a proposal to Trickster.

Vil/Epel: Sure.

Rook: Bonjour, Trickster!! May I offer you a proposal?

Yuu: What's uuuuu--...

Yuu: Why are you on one knee.

Yuu: WHY ARE YOU ON ONE KNEE---

Epel: huh. So that's what he needed a ring for.

#incorrect twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland incorrect quotes #incorrect twisted wonderland quotes #incorrect twst #twst incorrect quotes #rook hunt x reader #rook hunt #rook's being too literal again someone stop the hatman #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst #pomefiore #pomefiore x reader #vil schoenheit #epel felmier #but the real question is do u accept? #will you take the hatman in holy matrimony? #its a choose your own adventure and every choice is wrong

[bookofthegear]

Oh, because I forgot to do this earlier and people asked, your total run avoided fourteen definite deaths and one Bad Choice that, while not outright fatal, would have meant that your luck would turn sour. (That doesn’t have, like, a randomized effect, given that much of this is improv, but ropes would snap, rungs would break, just how potable IS that water, maybe the pointy people did actually see your light and are lying in wait, etc.)

(Yes, there are actually things you can do to piss off the labyrinth. I won’t go into any details, because that would be too easy, but they do tend to be fairly obviously Significant Choices.)

Overall, you made it much, much deeper into the maze than any other players have, and a couple times I had to scramble to think “Jeez, what IS in that next room, anyway?” because you’d outrun my mental map.

Good job! The cabbages are proud.

#choose your own adventure #t kingfisher #ursula vernon #book of the gear

[sparkle-fiend]

I think Steve is gonna need a bigger bat 😬

(So @piratefishmama came up with the idea that demobats could be the early stage form of something bigger- like a demodragon. Which was so friggin cool I immediately wanted to draw one)

#stranger things #stranger things fanart #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #kas!eddie #(sort of- it’s up to the viewer really. choose your own adventure lol) #demodragon #my art

[humanoidhistory]

David B. Mattingly's cover art for Vampire Invaders, a Choose Your Own Adventure book by Edward Packard, 1991.

#dracula #sci-fi #vampire #halloween #illustration #choose your own adventure #1980s #1990s #space vampire #science fiction

[amtrak-official]

What a lovely train

I sure hope nothing terrible happens on board

#choo choose your own adventure

[dittolicous]

re: volo appearing in every legends game regardless of in-game importance can go a couple different directions

hitchhikers guide to legends you shouldn't know - weird traveler man who knows just a bit too much about local regional legends and is a little too coy yet never strays far from the side lines

dramatic heros tale cracks the egg - in each game he gradually becomes both more heroic, aiding the protag overtime, and softens, his final appearance ending with him commenting on changing his name to signify him changing his ways - why 'cynthia' has a nice ring doesnt it?

always the bridesmaid never the bride - he keeps trying to team up with legendary pokemon all across the world - with varying levels of villiany involved - and almost succeeds UNTIL SOME PIMPLY FACE PRETEEN FUCKING KICKS HIS ASS AND BEFRIENDS LOCAL GOD IN 3 MINUTES FLAT. EVERY GODDAMN TIME.

cant an immortal man get a break - hes kind of over all that legands drama and keeps hoping to find a nice peaceful retirement home.... but the fucking gods cant chill out for five damn minutes and of course some idiot local has to piss them off - oh fuck him another teen girl just fell out of the sky-

#pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon volo #volo #choose your own adventure style volo #trans!cynthia supremacy amirite?

[ormymarius]

🔮 — you go on a magical quest to save the world. In the end, you manage to save it but lose your magic in the process

✨ — you’re the castle’s top mage and protect the castle from dangerous magical threats

⚡️— you were killed in a battle with another wizard. It was an epic fight, however your magic just wasn’t strong enough )):

🌙 — you were born without any powers, but after years of practice & studying magic you become the most powerful wizard there is. Good job!

🪄 — you come across an evil ancient artifact and your magic is slowly corrupted by it over the years, you become the most fearsome wizard in all the realms

🌧️ — you and another wizard have been fighting for centuries but you both realize you would be stronger together and join forces, an unexpected friendship :)

#since y’all like the other choose your adventure polls I did #choose your own adventure #polls #poll #tumblr #wizard #fantasy

[sarcasticassian]

Steve and Robin come out to see Corroded Coffin at their Vegas stop and they have a great time and after the concert they and the band go out for drinks because when in Vegas right? and they all maybe go a little too far and get blackout drunk and Steve, Eddie and Robin all wake up in a bed together, fully clothed of course, but incredibly hungover and it takes them a while to notice the rings but then Steve finds the certificate and all hell breaks loose

Robin and Eddie got married last night

Steve has never felt more betrayed in his LIFE, he was supposed to drunkenly marry Robin one day, they're soulmates, how has she ended up married to Eddie?? the two of them shrug as Steve storms around the room, Robin totally apologetic and willing to make it up to Steve, Eddie relaxing back into the bed because now he has a wife and a boyfriend

Eddie has to leave for his next tour stop so they can't annul it straight away but when they do they gleefully tell everyone who can hear that they never consummated their marriage thank you very much and headlines hit the next day about the lead singer of Corroded Coffin getting a divorce from his secret wife, an ex wife who left hand in hand with another man and all hell breaks loose again when Steve realises this means people think they can just hit on Eddie now they think he's single

#jealous Steve my beloved #idk how they ended married either #that's for you to decide #choose your own adventure #steddie #stobin #platonic stobin #stobin friendship #steddie au #steddie headcanon #stobin headcanons #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #steveddie #steve x eddie